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Speaker 1: You are listening to What in the Winkler and iHeartRadio podcast. Hi,

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Speaker 1: and welcome back to another episode of What in the

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Speaker 1: Winkler Cay cute you you have to put the microphone

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Speaker 1: in front of your mouth. Oh, for God's so, we're

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Speaker 1: back for another episode and my co host is finally back. Cheers.

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Speaker 1: Let's cheers. Microphones, cheers, cheers. I'm so happy you're back. Mom,

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Speaker 1: I'm so happy I'm back. So everyone's really missed you

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Speaker 1: and the p I know it's true. I get lots

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Speaker 1: of dms, babe. So the premise of this podcast was

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Speaker 1: supposed to be a mother daughter podcast. That's what we

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Speaker 1: sold it as. That's what it was. And then two

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Speaker 1: weeks into beginning this process, you ended up at Cedar Sinai.

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Speaker 1: That's correct, where you stayed for quite some time, quite sometime.

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Speaker 1: You know, lots of people say, you know, for the holidays,

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Speaker 1: I was in Hawaii, I went to Norway, I went

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Speaker 1: I just was home with the family. We had a

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Speaker 1: fabulous time. I holiday at the hospital. You sure did.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to remind you one more time that the microphone.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, thank you. Okay, So I love when

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Speaker 1: you say it that way. It's like when you were

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Speaker 1: a teacher. I'm going to remind you. Yeah, well, I'm

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Speaker 1: just giving you friendly reminders. I love that. So I

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Speaker 1: just want to say that you saved my life. Well

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Speaker 1: I did save your life, Yes, you did. Do you

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Speaker 1: want to say it again? Just affect? Do I turn

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Speaker 1: to someone Zoe? Zoe saved my life? I did? She

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Speaker 1: truly did. That is the truth. So my mom was

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Speaker 1: really really sick with it, just like well Dana. First,

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Speaker 1: Dana felt my head is like best higher life best friend. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: everything in my parents' life. And she took incredible care

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Speaker 1: of my mom. Yeah. But I kept saying that something

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Speaker 1: was off, and I kept fighting you, and you kept

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Speaker 1: yelling at me, and I kept calling your doctor at

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Speaker 1: the time, saying something's not right, and you kept screaming

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Speaker 1: at me, telling me that I was never to get

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Speaker 1: involved in well, because you were. Let's just say you

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Speaker 1: said something was not right, but you were calling him

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Speaker 1: and reading him the Riot Act. Let's not just say

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Speaker 1: you were calling saying, Hi, something's not right with my mom. No,

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Speaker 1: that's not true. First of all, when you're anxious and

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Speaker 1: you know what, it's fine. And thank God that you

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Speaker 1: did so big mistake. It's huge. So we ended up

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Speaker 1: at the hospital with you on like I think it

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Speaker 1: was November twenty first, the week of Thanksgiving, and then

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Speaker 1: you ended up basically having like sepsis right, well close

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Speaker 1: to sepsis, right, I don't remember the exact word, but

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Speaker 1: it actually works. Yeah, probably yes, But no one told

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Speaker 1: me at the time how serious it was, substiss And

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Speaker 1: when we got to the hospital on that day, the

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Speaker 1: you know, Tuesday or the Monday before Thanksgiving, I don't

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Speaker 1: remember if it was Monday or Tuesday, but I was

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Speaker 1: on my way to dinner with some girlfriends and Dad

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Speaker 1: called me and said, mom has a fever. We're going

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Speaker 1: to go to the hospital. And I turned the car

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Speaker 1: around and I came and picked you guys up. We

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Speaker 1: went to the hospital and when we walked in, we

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Speaker 1: finally got into the er and we got into a

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Speaker 1: room in the ear the incredible woman doctor I think

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Speaker 1: her name was doctor Shiner. She was incredible. She was

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Speaker 1: the Yes, she said, you're two weeks too late and

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Speaker 1: you should have been here two weeks ago. You mean

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Speaker 1: to live, No, to be at the hospital, but yes,

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Speaker 1: also to live. But I mean, we're being funny about it,

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Speaker 1: but it was you almost died. I understand, but I

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Speaker 1: didn't know at the time, and I didn't know that

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Speaker 1: it was as serious says as it was when I

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Speaker 1: was chiding you for that's okay, I don't care, it's okay.

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Speaker 1: I really I stuck. I'm very yeah, I'm not easily

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Speaker 1: I raised you away. I'm not easily take yeah. I

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Speaker 1: never take no for an answer. So I didn't really care,

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Speaker 1: and I just kept going and I and then we

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Speaker 1: ended up hiring these incredible two doctors, these two women

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Speaker 1: who also I mean, they really saved your life and

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Speaker 1: they are two of the most incredible women. And it

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Speaker 1: was right before the holidays, so it was right it

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Speaker 1: was in December, and they said, you know, we don't

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Speaker 1: really take on patients in crisis, and like right before

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Speaker 1: the holidays, and I said, like, you have to do this.

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Speaker 1: And I cried and cried and cried, and they took

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Speaker 1: you on. And now we love them so much, we

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Speaker 1: do we are devoted to them. And they made Honestly,

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Speaker 1: it was like it was like Daddy, it was my team,

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Speaker 1: you know, your team actors saying I just want to

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Speaker 1: thank my team. Yeah, but it was a team. I mean,

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Speaker 1: they had a cardiologious they have every single you had

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Speaker 1: physical therapy with that amazing woman. You had every and

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Speaker 1: you know, we didn't really talk about it during so

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Speaker 1: I didn't really ever address it on the podcast until

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Speaker 1: you were already out of the woods, because I just

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Speaker 1: didn't It wasn't my story to tell, it was yours.

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Speaker 1: And I think what's so incredible is that you just

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Speaker 1: like defied the odds in a way I can't explain.

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Speaker 1: And now you're here back with me, and I'm so

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Speaker 1: beyond grateful. I can't even explain to you how happy

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Speaker 1: I am. You know what, I feel the same way,

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Speaker 1: And I feel like I've been given a second chance.

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Speaker 1: I really do, and I you have. Yeah, I mean

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Speaker 1: it is something. I mean, it's a good thing that

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Speaker 1: I didn't know how sick I was well. The doctors, doctor,

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Speaker 1: both of those doctors said she won't remember any of this,

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Speaker 1: and I was like shocked. But the truth is you

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Speaker 1: you don't remember a lot of it because the infection

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Speaker 1: was so severe that you were kind of really out

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Speaker 1: of it. And and I think, like, I think, what's

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Speaker 1: I don't know. Something that has stuck with me is

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Speaker 1: that you know the life cycle is that, like your

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Speaker 1: parents get older and eventually they, you know, are infants

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Speaker 1: that take care of But also like I just thought

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Speaker 1: to myself, like I only have boys, Like who's going

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Speaker 1: to take care of me? Because daughters are just I

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Speaker 1: have to say, a daughter is a different kind of beast.

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Speaker 1: Like it is just true. And I was joking that

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Speaker 1: I was basically Shirley McLean in terms of endearment, but

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Speaker 1: I was the daughter, not the mother. Like and every

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Speaker 1: time a doctor would come in, I would take like

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Speaker 1: copious notes and Dad and I would send the exact

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Speaker 1: note that we would have the exact same conversation. In

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Speaker 1: Dad's notes would be like literally like an idiot wrote them,

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Speaker 1: and mine would be like I love him, He's amazing,

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Speaker 1: he's been just like men and women are so different total,

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Speaker 1: And my notes would be like, you know, like I

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Speaker 1: could have gone to Harvard. I missed my calling. You

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Speaker 1: know what, you you missed your calling and yet you

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Speaker 1: are extraordinary. And I just want to say for any

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Speaker 1: mothers who have daughters who are feisty and make you

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Speaker 1: crazy because everything is a negotiation. Time to go to bed. Nope,

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Speaker 1: you told me that this and that, and you're too

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Speaker 1: overwhelmed to even know if you in fact told her

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Speaker 1: or if she's just you know, playing You anybody who

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Speaker 1: has a daughter who is like forthright and you want

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Speaker 1: to just crumble. Those girls make strong women, the strongest women.

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Speaker 1: If you live through the experience of having a young,

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Speaker 1: very strong daughter, it will pay you back in spades.

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Speaker 1: And beyond that, it is Zoe can do anything. That's

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Speaker 1: why when she says she's missed her calling. She could

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Speaker 1: have been at Harvard. She could have definitely been. But

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Speaker 1: she love the best mind and the best heart combination

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Speaker 1: of anyone I've ever met. You are extraordinary and you

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Speaker 1: did save my life. And I really did not want

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Speaker 1: to die when I knew that I was. I really

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Speaker 1: wanted to be here. And I owe you big time.

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Speaker 1: I don't have a tremendous amount of time to pay

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Speaker 1: you back, but I really do owe you big time.

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Speaker 1: You are the gift. I'll take a burkin and then ah,

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Speaker 1: and then you're the gift. Thank You're welcome, the gift

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Speaker 1: that keeps on gifting. Yeah, I feel like I just

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Speaker 1: feel so lucky. And what I was saying was that

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Speaker 1: you know that you know, but I just knew that

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Speaker 1: this was not the time, Like I just knew it.

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Speaker 1: And I kept talking to Anita co throughout the whole thing,

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Speaker 1: and she was like, Oh, She's not going out like this,

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Speaker 1: Steacy Winkler's not going out like this. Sarah. Yeah, because

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Speaker 1: you're so strong. And you said to me a couple

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Speaker 1: of days after you got home for like the third time,

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Speaker 1: because you come home and then you go back to

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Speaker 1: the hospital. You said, I'm really a warrior. And that

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Speaker 1: is exactly how I would describe you. You are a warrior.

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Speaker 1: And I cannot even I mean, I don't even know

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Speaker 1: how to put into words what it means for me

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Speaker 1: to be able to sit here with you right now

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Speaker 1: and do this with you and live life with you

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Speaker 1: and continue to live life with you. You know, you

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Speaker 1: were able to make it to Ace's bar Mitzvah, which

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Speaker 1: was like a dream kind true. That was your goal

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Speaker 1: and you did it and you did it with flying colors,

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Speaker 1: and you know, I have all these things that like

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Speaker 1: I still want to do with you. Yeah, and I'm

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Speaker 1: so excited, very busy. Oh great, and I want to

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Speaker 1: pick up the boys from camp this year. Yeah, We're

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Speaker 1: definitely going to do that. So Daddy is close to

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Speaker 1: Boston or not. Okay, great, we'll go together. So last

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Speaker 1: year my mom came with me. Actually this leads us

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Speaker 1: into our but which the story she was going to tell.

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Speaker 1: So last year my mom came with me, Ace, my oldest,

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Speaker 1: went to camp for three and a half weeks in

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Speaker 1: on the East Coast. And this year my old Jewels

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Speaker 1: is also going to go with him. So they're both

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Speaker 1: gonna be gone for three and a half weeks. It's

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Speaker 1: just gonna be me and Rob and Gus at home,

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Speaker 1: which should be like, I don't even lively Lively. Gus

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Speaker 1: is me as a child. So I now understand and

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Speaker 1: have empathy for my mom, where before I just couldn't understand.

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Speaker 1: Now I really understand. But when we went and picked

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Speaker 1: up my son from camp, my mom, we were walking

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Speaker 1: to dinner. Right after we'd gotten him, we came back

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Speaker 1: to the hotel. He showered because God knows he needed

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Speaker 1: a shower. This was amazing. May I tell this? Sure?

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Speaker 1: Please go ahead. We picked up Ace and he all

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Speaker 1: of a sudden he looked sixteen years old and he

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Speaker 1: was twelve, and he had grown so much taller. I

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Speaker 1: didn't actually realize it was within a three and a

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Speaker 1: half week period. It felt like he'd been gone for

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Speaker 1: six months. But it looks so much taller, and he

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Speaker 1: looked so slim. And I said to him, as we're

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Speaker 1: walking to dinner, acy, you look so fantastic. You did

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Speaker 1: you lose weight while you were there? And Zoe turned

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Speaker 1: around like the devil and said to me, we don't

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Speaker 1: use that term anymore. No, I said, we don't talk

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Speaker 1: about weight family. Oh right, this is even more rich.

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Speaker 1: We don't talk about weight in our family, which I

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Speaker 1: found particularly rich because we have done nothing but talk

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Speaker 1: about weight throughout the years. But what I was talking

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Speaker 1: about my nuclear family now, which is and my boys

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Speaker 1: and my husband. Yes you were, yes, you were your

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Speaker 1: nuclear family. But I will say to you, I was

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Speaker 1: like being scolded in the middle of the street of Boston.

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Speaker 1: My grandson was looking at me, looking at Zoe, and

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Speaker 1: he knows who we are exactly. It was strange, It

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Speaker 1: was bizarre. And then my daughter said, it's two twenty

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Speaker 1: five and we don't talk about those things. Or maybe

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Speaker 1: was it two thousand, It was twenty twenty four, Ye,

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Speaker 1: it was. I was chastised. So so now we don't

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Speaker 1: speak about weight, No, we don't comment we don't comment

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Speaker 1: on people's weights. Nuclear family, we don't. We don't, not

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Speaker 1: in our nuclear family. Nope. Here's then we went to

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Speaker 1: this like streetwear store and there was this brand that

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Speaker 1: was what was it called. He was like skinny and

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Speaker 1: rich or something. It was like something crazy diet diet something. Yes,

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Speaker 1: And she kept holding it up and following me around

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Speaker 1: the store. Right, what was that story? That was such

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Speaker 1: a good store. It was like all cool brands for

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Speaker 1: kit for adults. But Ace was yeah, yeah, they had Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you loved that. Ace loved. I would pick up a

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Speaker 1: T shirt and it was for a house payment, literally

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Speaker 1: a house payment. It was shocking. Well now he like,

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Speaker 1: you know, wears like adults, you know, clothing and stuff.

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Speaker 1: He's the cutest. Well, while you were gone, I had

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Speaker 1: two housewives on wait, while I was gone on your

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Speaker 1: retreat at Cedars. Oh you mean while I was almost gone,

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Speaker 1: go on, I had Derinda Dirinda I make it nice.

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Speaker 1: I had her. I had Derinda and I had Denise Richards.

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Speaker 1: She was just the most recent one. She was amazing.

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Speaker 1: Did you read She was so lovely, Like I can't

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Speaker 1: even bet she is. She is so nice. And my

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Speaker 1: friend Alex Baskin is doing her new show, and I

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Speaker 1: had told him that she was coming on, and he

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Speaker 1: was so like complimentary of her. And when I when

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Speaker 1: I spoke to her, she was so nice and normal. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but she seemed normal. She was amazing. I think a

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Speaker 1: fantastic mother. Yeah, she seems like such a good mom.

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Speaker 1: And I really enjoyed having her on. Those were like

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Speaker 1: my two top guy. Yeah, I really have wives. Did

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Speaker 1: you tell Andy? I told him? And I'm dying for more.

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Speaker 1: I really want some of the Salt Lake City ladies.

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Speaker 1: And I'm very into Atlanta right now. Are you watching?

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Speaker 1: Did I hear something about Phaedra had like a breakdown

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Speaker 1: or something? No, I love I love Porscha too. She's back.

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Speaker 1: But I don't think Phaedra would think was on. She's

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Speaker 1: on like married to medicine or something. I don't know

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Speaker 1: she's on something, married to medicine. I hardly think so,

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Speaker 1: I think, but she's a lawyer. I think she is.

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Speaker 1: How do you think we maintain such a good relationship

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Speaker 1: with each other? And not to say that it hasn't

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Speaker 1: been through ups and downs when I was younger, Oh,

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Speaker 1: ups and downs? Really? I mean like when you would

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Speaker 1: hang up on me in your dorm and I had

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Speaker 1: to call the lobby of the dorm to have them

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Speaker 1: get you the pharmacy. You called every place in Madison, Wisconsin.

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Speaker 1: I should have been called tracker mom. Yeah, that's true.

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Speaker 1: But the thing was that I think that it's been

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Speaker 1: through time, through work, but I think that if you

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Speaker 1: have that basic love there and respect, mutual respect, you

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Speaker 1: can get through anything. But the key for us was

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Speaker 1: that you wouldn't hang up on me anymore because that

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Speaker 1: made me insane. Yeah, and when I would try to

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Speaker 1: have a discussion, you'd say, Okay, I'm sorry you feel

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Speaker 1: that way. Click, and then she would not answer her

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Speaker 1: phone again. And it I now know because one of

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Speaker 1: my team members in my new life there's at arapist,

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Speaker 1: and I now know that that would trigger me because

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Speaker 1: it reminded me of my mother. Huh. I knew you

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Speaker 1: were going to say that, and and that cut off

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Speaker 1: and that is one of the most difficult things. Well,

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Speaker 1: it's too painful for me, so I just cut it off. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but I am. But I haven't hung up on you

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Speaker 1: in years, No, you haven't. Yeah, I mean we're talking

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Speaker 1: about when I was like a teenager, right, or like

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Speaker 1: in college, maybe my twenties, maybe early thirties. We're talking

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Speaker 1: far more recently, not in my forties, maybe not, maybe

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Speaker 1: a couple of ones in your forties, and maybe you

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Speaker 1: haven't hung up. Maybe this time you now, at this time,

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Speaker 1: you say, Okay, well I'm busy. I have a bunch

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Speaker 1: of things to do. Click and then I call back.

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Speaker 1: No answer, no answer, no answer for well, I'll stop

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Speaker 1: doing that. But I don't do that anymore, but I will,

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Speaker 1: I'll be more cognizant of that, because I don't want

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Speaker 1: to certainly resemble your mother. That would be unfortunate, would

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Speaker 1: be very unfortunate. But she was a good cook. She

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Speaker 1: was the best cook. And by the way, so were you.

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Speaker 1: So are you. You're a great cook. You don't do

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Speaker 1: it so often, Ricardo does say, but you're a very

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Speaker 1: good cook. When you do cook, you're a great cook. Yes,

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Speaker 1: thank you very much. You need to discuss that part

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Speaker 1: of it. Although I do love to cook, but I

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Speaker 1: love being in your house and being at your house

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Speaker 1: for dinner, and I love when you guys come to

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Speaker 1: dinner so cozy and so good. I think it's important,

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Speaker 1: like the you know, in every relationship, you have to

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Speaker 1: give each other grace. And I feel like I didn't

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Speaker 1: give you grace because you were my mom, and so

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Speaker 1: I just figured that you should. You're agreeing, Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: think it's really hard for a kid to give a

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Speaker 1: parent grace. It's like a no. And by the way,

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Speaker 1: you know, in the best of worlds, a kid shouldn't

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Speaker 1: have to give a parent. Well that's not true. I mean,

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Speaker 1: we're parents are still human beings. Yes, they're human beings,

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Speaker 1: but it's a you. You you have to suck up

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Speaker 1: a lot of stuff when you're a parent, and you know,

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Speaker 1: go into your room and scream. Yeah. Fortunately I screamed

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Speaker 1: in front of you, but everybody does. Last night, I

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Speaker 1: lost my mind at GUS in a way that I

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Speaker 1: can't explain. At bedtime, like after an hour of being

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Speaker 1: so calm and so and then in two seconds, the

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Speaker 1: whole thing just gets completely fucked because you've just like

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Speaker 1: ruined it. Even if you've been well, they might like

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Speaker 1: I totally have been trying not to. You can say

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Speaker 1: fuck God, but I literally, like, thank fucking forty minutes

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Speaker 1: of like being amazing and then two minutes of losing

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Speaker 1: your shit, and only the two minutes of losing your

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Speaker 1: mind is what is just imprints? Yeah kind of, but

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Speaker 1: that's not really always true. And someday the funniest thing

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Speaker 1: is you will be able to laugh about it with him. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: if you live through it, that's it's really hard. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's the trick I was. I posted some video of

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Speaker 1: Gus and Aaron Baclar said, it's really shocking that you've

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Speaker 1: met your match in a human being and it's your child,

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Speaker 1: and I realized that's true, like he's and I think

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Speaker 1: maybe that was me for you. You. I if people

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Speaker 1: ask me about things like when did Zoey first talk

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Speaker 1: in the delivery as as we as she was coming out,

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Speaker 1: she was bothered by what I had eaten the night before.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you have, You've been talking your whole life.

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Speaker 1: But what you do is you. The negotiation part was insane.

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Speaker 1: And then when you were singing, you wanted to go

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Speaker 1: to music class, but except you wanted to be Madonna

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Speaker 1: at the time, but you didn't want to go through

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Speaker 1: the classes. I just wanted to wear leopard skin and

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Speaker 1: be on television. Yeah, that was I couldn't understand why

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Speaker 1: a star that's just a person's But I'm telling you,

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Speaker 1: you are the most fun. And you make me laugh

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Speaker 1: so hard that I I have to bring along diapers

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Speaker 1: and we do how we do are funny, we do.

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Speaker 1: We have a really good time together and we laugh

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Speaker 1: a lot. And I am so excited that we have

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Speaker 1: like all this fun stuff coming up, like going to

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Speaker 1: go pick up Ace at camp, Ace angels at camp together.

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Speaker 1: And we're gonna go away for Christmas. Oh right, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I can't wait. I'm going. Actually I leave on Monday

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Speaker 1: to go to the same hotel yea five days with

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Speaker 1: the kids. And I just realized it's the first trip

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Speaker 1: I think where it's just the five of us, Me

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Speaker 1: and Rob and the boys. Usually we go with you guys,

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Speaker 1: or with Rob's family or with friends, and it's really

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Speaker 1: just the five of us. And I'm really excited. I wonder, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm excited. So interesting. So you're really on your own. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so we'll see what is like. Yeah, that'll be don't

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Speaker 1: order extra drinks Robin with the kids. Yeah, Rob's gonna

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Speaker 1: have a talk with the kids about like ordering smoothies.

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Speaker 1: But then I realized we should have this talk when

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Speaker 1: we go with you guys and with the with my

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Speaker 1: in laws too. We shouldn't have No, we shouldn't just

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Speaker 1: have the conversation ding dung, ding dung, but don't it

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Speaker 1: hits extra hard, very so I think I think we'll

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Speaker 1: have that moment. Well, Mom, I'm really really really really

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Speaker 1: really happy that you're back, and I'm happy that I'm back.

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Speaker 1: And again, if it hadn't been for you and your

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Speaker 1: perseverance and your temper and your stick touitiveness, that would

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Speaker 1: have been a prop I know you had been sitting

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Speaker 1: here with the twenty one year old stepmother, that would

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Speaker 1: have been sad. I would have poisoned her. So don't worry.

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Speaker 1: Good Okay, so then we have no problem. I love you,

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Speaker 1: I love you so much. Thank you so much for

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Speaker 1: joining us on another episode of What in the Winkler?

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Speaker 1: Please please please like it, love it, share, share with

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Speaker 1: your friends, because if these numbers don't get better, you

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Speaker 1: won't get to hear all of our brilliant pearls of wisdom.

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Speaker 1: This is true. I'm not kidding. I'm being pathetic and begging.

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Speaker 1: We're begging, We're begging. Bye