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Speaker 1: Bribe's biggest stories of the day, Right, I have to

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Speaker 1: start with serious news. Too many days, too many serious stories.

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Speaker 1: But five soldiers were wounded yesterday when an active duty

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Speaker 1: sergeant opened fire at Fort Stewart in Georgia. The suspect

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Speaker 1: as a twenty eight year old man. He was taken

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Speaker 1: into custody after other soldiers immediately tackled and subdued him,

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Speaker 1: preventing further casualties. He's an automated logistics sergeant with the

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Speaker 1: second Armored Brigade Combat Team who joined the army in

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Speaker 1: January of twenty eighteen, and it is from Jacksonville, Florida.

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Speaker 1: He used his personal weapon in the shooting, not a

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Speaker 1: military weapon. All five wounded soldiers are in stable condition

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Speaker 1: and are expected to recover. The three required surgery. Two

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Speaker 1: were moved to Savannah for additional care. There was a

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Speaker 1: groundstop for United Airlines only yesterday. All of their flights

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Speaker 1: were grounded nationwide due to a technology problem with their

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Speaker 1: weight and balanced computer system. It sounds like when Kaitlin

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Speaker 1: tried to go someplace and the GPS didn't work.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that was tough. I pulled up ways.

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Speaker 3: I was like, I know the general direction let's just

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Speaker 3: start going right, sitting for three hours on the tarmac,

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Speaker 3: was not it?

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Speaker 1: Control it out to late and we'll just head that

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Speaker 1: way and like you check it out, go.

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Speaker 2: Towards south, Go south, South America.

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Speaker 1: Go. I saw TAKEO video the other day. They have

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Speaker 1: a they have computer software for pilots that like does

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Speaker 1: flight planning or whatever else. But then it will also

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Speaker 1: like like one of the things I have will show

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Speaker 1: you like a three D image of the airport that

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Speaker 1: you're going to and like the runway and stuff. And

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Speaker 1: so the pilots the door was open and they were

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Speaker 1: waiting to go, I guess, and the passenger was in

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Speaker 1: the front row and the pilots had this guy's iPhone

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Speaker 1: out and they were like you know, pinching and up

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Speaker 1: and zooming in and out on the airport they were

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Speaker 1: going to and like looking at it from different angles.

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Speaker 1: And this person's like, really they use their iPhone? No,

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Speaker 1: and it's something different, but it looked like that. It

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Speaker 1: was like how do we get there? I don't know,

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Speaker 1: people get your phone out, Like they were using some

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Speaker 1: kind of app and they were like looking at it

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Speaker 1: and they had like their you know, finger on their

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Speaker 1: chin and they were like zooming in and out and

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Speaker 1: it didn't look great.

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Speaker 2: You have an iPad in your yeah, plane with plane?

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Speaker 1: What is that has that thing on it? It has

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Speaker 1: a chart and the all the procedures and it has

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Speaker 1: all the you know, manuals and everything on it. Yeah, anyway,

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Speaker 1: you need the wight and bounce computer system. I guess

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Speaker 1: this started after six pm Eastern lasted several hours. Although

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Speaker 1: the issue was fixed, over a thousand flights were delayed.

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Speaker 1: More than forty were canceled, according to Flight to Where

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Speaker 1: the airline, so the safety is their top priority. Well

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Speaker 1: that's good, and they're covering meals and hotels with the

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Speaker 1: affected customers. The FAA, of course, wanted to make sure

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Speaker 1: we all knew that it had nothing to do with

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Speaker 1: air traffic control this time, and they said that it

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Speaker 1: was not caused by any kind of cyber attack. Major

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Speaker 1: League Baseball has its first female umpire. Her name is

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Speaker 1: Jen and she will make histories the first woman to

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Speaker 1: officiate a regular season Major League Baseball game during the

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Speaker 1: upcoming Marlins Braves series in Atlanta August ninth through the tenth.

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Speaker 1: She'll work the bases in a Saturday doubleheader and serve

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Speaker 1: as the home plate umpire on Sunday. She's forty eight

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Speaker 1: years old from New Jersey. Boy, we have she likes

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Speaker 1: long walks on the beach ward a lot about this woman.

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Speaker 1: She climbed a Triple A in twoy twenty three, officiated

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Speaker 1: MLB Spring Training Games in twenty four and twenty five,

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Speaker 1: and she's the first woman since two thousand and seven

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Speaker 1: to do so. The Web Commissioner praised her dedication and

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Speaker 1: called her elevation a role model for women and girls

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Speaker 1: across this sport. Remember Butch and Sonny? Yeah, you ever

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Speaker 1: know those guys? Well, Butcher's retiring and I probably would too. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, these guys were stuck astronauts. They were stuck,

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Speaker 1: and not in a fun way. They retired. But he

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Speaker 1: retired from the Space Agency listed five months after his

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Speaker 1: unexpectedly long space flight came to an end. If you

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Speaker 1: remember last summer, they launched them as test pilots on

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Speaker 1: Boeing's first astronaut flight, which should have been a week

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Speaker 1: long trip to the International Space Station turned into a

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Speaker 1: state of more than nine months because of the malfunctioning

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Speaker 1: star liner that came back empty. They later had to

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Speaker 1: come back to Earth on SpaceX's spaceship. And so yeah,

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Speaker 1: after nine one week turned into nine months and it's like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm good.

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Speaker 2: No, we're all seeing again.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we're all said, I'm going to write a book now,

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Speaker 1: and Sunny and High are running off into the sunset together.

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Speaker 1: It turns out of the you know, I think they

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Speaker 1: were both married, but now they're in love. No, I

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Speaker 1: don't know that.

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Speaker 2: I want to see they're not in love.

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Speaker 1: They need to do a movie. How do you know that?

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Speaker 4: In low spending nine months with somebody not even on earth,

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Speaker 4: like who knows where you are?

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Speaker 2: In this little tin hand.

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Speaker 1: I feel like I feel like that's how we almost

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Speaker 1: would be forced to love each other.

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Speaker 2: No, I don't think.

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Speaker 1: I feel like in the end it would either be

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Speaker 1: extreme hate or extreme love.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not about the same thing after all.

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Speaker 1: Uh maybe I think maybe extreme hate and extreme love

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Speaker 1: meat in the middle somewhere. Honestly, that was That's one

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Speaker 1: of those profound things you've ever said. Wow, all within

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Speaker 1: the first ninety minutes of the show. Incredible, Wow, Is

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Speaker 1: it isn't that the same?

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Speaker 2: Sometimes?

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Speaker 1: Speaking of which, and maybe this is a blog and

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Speaker 1: I'll just talk about it now because why would I

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Speaker 1: not have Why would I have focus? Speaking of profound things,

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Speaker 1: you know, your birthday was this week and I went

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Speaker 1: to them. This is not a new problem. But I

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Speaker 1: went to the store where they still cards. This was

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Speaker 1: in this particular case. I went to a CBS, but

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Speaker 1: they have rows of cards. When did all the when

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Speaker 1: did all the greeting cards start to suck? Like everyone

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Speaker 1: I opened it was like happy birthday, and then you

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Speaker 1: open it, it was like made the Lord bless you with

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Speaker 1: with many more days of prosperitym like no, like John

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Speaker 1: three sixteen, like no, very religious sometimes not that one.

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Speaker 1: And then but everything was like it was like wildly profound.

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Speaker 1: It was like happy birthday that opened.

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Speaker 2: You know, ever since the first day I saw your beautiful.

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Speaker 1: Right right, I hope that prosperity follows you throughout your journey.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, wait, what, like what happened to the car?

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Speaker 1: That was like you're getting old, right, the oldest crap?

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Speaker 1: You open it? Yeah, yeah, right right, you open it,

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Speaker 1: it's like an elephant. It's like old. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's very upset.

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Speaker 1: Though that or every car had to have some sort

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Speaker 1: of like explosion like it had like like pyrotechnics in

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Speaker 1: every car. I'm like, all right, this all right, this

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Speaker 1: one looks okay. Then I open it and then there's

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Speaker 1: like a kangaroo jumps at me and I'm like right,

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Speaker 1: and they're seventeen dollars yes, or literally twenty nine dollars,

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Speaker 1: the greatest scam of all time, or the Papyrus ones

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Speaker 1: or whatever that are made from recycled paper from Uganda.

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Speaker 2: And you know, I know you're rich if you got

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Speaker 2: a papyrus right, come.

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Speaker 1: In like a little plastic thing and I'm just going,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, that's the all for someone to open it,

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Speaker 1: go thank you, and then throw it away.

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Speaker 3: I do read every word, though, and I would appreciate

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Speaker 3: whatever cards. Sometimes I find a card I like, but

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Speaker 3: it's for someone else, so I'll cross out, like for

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Speaker 3: my beautiful wife, you know, across.

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Speaker 1: A funny Yeah, those are funny.

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Speaker 2: And just write like my friend's name because I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I like what this said.

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Speaker 1: When it's so that's my point, I'm like, what happened

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Speaker 1: to just silly like the I don't know, just silly basic,

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Speaker 1: and I'm opening it's like this whole novel. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: what you know, Jesus in love with me? Or yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, now I should compare these to a summer's day.

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Speaker 1: Oh so temperate, and I'm like, what Shakespeare get out

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Speaker 1: of my card? Claire's, a mall stable that attracts preteens

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Speaker 1: for its bargain jewelry and accessories, is filed for its

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Speaker 1: second bankruptcy in less than a decade. Everybody in this room, Claire,

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Speaker 1: especially Jason. Claire's, was part of your upbringing, wasn't it. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I wanted to shot there so bad, that's right, but

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Speaker 1: I couldn't. But the way your pacifier, if only your

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Speaker 1: mom had left your pacifier in A little about normal

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Speaker 1: life mom a little? But how many people? I mean,

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Speaker 1: I feel like almost everyone I know got their ears

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Speaker 1: beers it Claires, Yes, like it was just and what else?

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Speaker 1: They had little hair things in there and glitter. I

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Speaker 1: know people who worked it, Claire And oh yeah, yeah

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Speaker 1: that in Spencer's. Remember Spencer's back in the day when

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Speaker 1: the mall was the mall. You know, it's a little

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Speaker 1: different now. I don't even know Spencer it still exists,

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Speaker 1: but it's there. It was a little edgy Spencer's. You know,

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Speaker 1: you go like towards the back, and it was like,

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Speaker 1: this is a little little spoker back there. Yeah. Right,

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Speaker 1: it's like, you know, a mad head back there, and

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Speaker 1: you know it's like like like glowing the dark, grateful

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Speaker 1: dead posters and it's like, whoa what are you doing back?

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Speaker 1: It was a whole new world in the back of

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Speaker 1: Spencers my childhood. Right, you go to God, we sound

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, we sound old, but at least at least

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Speaker 1: there's a range. Was I think there's about ten years

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Speaker 1: range in this room, and at least everyone can relate

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Speaker 1: on this topic. But you go to the mall on

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Speaker 1: like Saturday, and maybe you go to a movie, but

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Speaker 1: you go to Spencer's, you go to Tower Records, you go

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Speaker 1: to Sam Goodie, which was you know CD's and tapes

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Speaker 1: mostly CDs, or like Chatski's. You go to a Spencer's,

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Speaker 1: you'd go to, uh, I feel like, yeah.

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Speaker 2: Handy store of some sort.

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Speaker 3: I feel like I would go to her the cookie place,

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Speaker 3: Missus Fields, oh yeah.

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Speaker 1: Or that place where they had the bag and you

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Speaker 1: just fill the bag up of candy and they wait

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Speaker 1: at the end, you know whatever. They had a million

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Speaker 1: versions of those. You'd like kind of walk past Victoria's

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Speaker 1: secret and giggle a little bit.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, or you'd go in and be like, I'm

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Speaker 3: gonna buy a secret thong.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's wash it in.

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Speaker 1: That's right, that's a that's another topic to write down.

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Speaker 1: But like, I didn't realize that the thong was such

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Speaker 1: a rite of passage. Yes, she really is.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, my mom didn't know. She still don't know

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Speaker 2: how thongs probably, like I was so shy. I know,

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Speaker 2: so shy. I don't think he had.

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Speaker 1: The same one since then I only got that one,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, this is not fun. It looks Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we have to get back to that juicy fier. Jesse

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Speaker 1: Smolette has returned to TV for Special Forces World's Toughest Athlete.

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Speaker 1: He's returning to television in this reality competition show. He

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Speaker 1: was a coaster on the Fox series Empire until about

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Speaker 1: six years ago, when he was accused of staging a

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Speaker 1: hate crime against him. Now he'll be one of the

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Speaker 1: celebrity contestants on Fox's Special Forces World's Toughest Test. The

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Speaker 1: show features eighteen quote unquote celebrities involved in an Army

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Speaker 1: boot camp style athletic competition. Johnny Manzel, Cody Brown, Teresa

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Speaker 1: Judice will all be on this show and it's premieres

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Speaker 1: in September twenty five.

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Speaker 3: Ny Man, I know Brianna chicken Fry I think is

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Speaker 3: on there too, But what a motley crew?

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Speaker 1: Right?

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Speaker 2: Just people I forgot about.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't realize that we were still going to

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Speaker 1: do that for Juicy Smollia. No, I don't think we should,

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Speaker 1: okay and then have a few lighthearded stories here. A

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Speaker 1: drunk woman in California was rescued after she fell into

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Speaker 1: a cha and got stuck. Witness I said the woman

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Speaker 1: was dancing on a roof and pulling up her shirt

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Speaker 1: and pulling down her pants and somehow then fell into

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Speaker 1: a chimney. More than a dozen firefighters stood on the

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Speaker 1: roof as a ladder was used to reach her, and

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Speaker 1: then a harness was used to lift her up. The

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Speaker 1: woman was taken to a hospital to get checked out.

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Speaker 1: She should be fine. Police said a half empty bottle

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Speaker 1: of tequila was in her backpack, and they're not sure

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Speaker 1: how she got stuck in the first place. I hate

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Speaker 1: that when I'm dancing around, flashing people on the roof

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Speaker 1: and I got stuck in the chimney. It's the worst thing.

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Speaker 1: It's the worst thing when that happens. Man, it's terrible.

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Speaker 1: Heather and Nick got married in Las Vegas. You should

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Speaker 1: have thought of this, Paulina, because you could have saved

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Speaker 1: a lot of money. In front of a giant jar

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Speaker 1: of Hellman's mayonnaise named Manny Mayo. Manny Mayo, I guess

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Speaker 1: is a I don't know mascot for Helman's and they

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Speaker 1: got married in front of the Unilever, the owner of

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Speaker 1: Helman's brand paid for the event in exchange for using

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Speaker 1: it to create commercials. But you really could have You

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Speaker 1: could have like influenced your way through a free wedding. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: ik jo, oh, you know from Maggiano's Italian.

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Speaker 4: I'll also try to get you a job as Elvis,

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Speaker 4: but that didn't work because I wanted you to marry us.

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Speaker 2: But they were like, well, we need an employee to

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Speaker 2: do that, and.

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Speaker 1: I will as to apply for a job. No, I

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Speaker 1: offer it to work there. I know.

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Speaker 2: I try to finss my way many many things over there.

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Speaker 4: But that's crazy, So I don't get it, like just

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Speaker 4: because they did a commerci.

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Speaker 1: Right that you stood in front of Manny Mayo and

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Speaker 1: your thing is free and a very lucky gambler. He

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Speaker 1: hit three hundred and eighty nine jackpots in one single

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Speaker 1: day and won one point eight million dollars at a

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Speaker 1: casino in Tampa. The Seminal Hard Rock Hotel and Casino

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Speaker 1: said that the guy won jackpots on several popular slot machines.

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Speaker 1: He won ninety nine grand on or more on five

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Speaker 1: different machines he'd one day. The most he won on

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Speaker 1: one slot machine was one hundred and seventy thousand dollars.

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Speaker 1: The casino said it was one of the most impressive

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Speaker 1: streaks they've ever seen. Three hundred and eighty nine jackpots

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Speaker 1: in a day shenanigans. I'm not sure if I ever

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Speaker 1: won a jackpot on a slot machine. I have don't

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Speaker 1: want a jackpont on a slat machine in one day.

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Speaker 1: One three eighty nine is aside job.

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Speaker 2: It definitely is.

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Speaker 1: It's an inside job. I think it's national I p

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Speaker 1: a day, and it's Purple Heart Day, which commemorates the

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Speaker 1: creation of the oldest American military decoration for military merit.

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Speaker 1: The Purple Heart honors the men and women who are

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Speaker 1: of the Military Order of the Purple Heart. My grandfather

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Speaker 1: has one, so shout out to him. Rip my grandfather

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Speaker 1: Fritch doesn't have one. John has one.

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Speaker 2: Okay, John, I didn't know his name.

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Speaker 1: John's a bit of a gangster. Oh yeah, he's a

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Speaker 1: fighter Ace. The name was a fighter Race. The Navy

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Speaker 1: was shot and this is a real story. There's a

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Speaker 1: book about it. He was shot down in his plane,

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Speaker 1: parachuted down, you know, ejected down into the water, and

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Speaker 1: was rescued by a submarine. Oh whoa yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 2: That's another submarine right right, And I can't even get a.

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Speaker 1: Text one not the one that bombed him. No, no,

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Speaker 1: I mean no, they didn't rescue him and then save

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Speaker 1: his life. Just get sorry about that, John. I'm going

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Speaker 1: to restart this whole thing.

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Speaker 2: Shout out to John. You were on Demon Times day.

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Speaker 4: I don't know why Shohn is a Okay John from bad.

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Speaker 1: I get I've left the difference of marine John's day. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't. Yeah, No, I believe it was an airplane

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Speaker 1: that shot him, and I don't. Yeah, it was