Speaker 1: Welcome to Can't Flee Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and
Speaker 1: The Black Effects. And just like that, y'all, we are
Speaker 1: back with yet another Carefully Reckless episode with your girl,
Speaker 1: Jess Hilarious.
Speaker 2: So listen. What I do is I be.
Speaker 1: Fixing people's mess, y'all, and y'all know I love it.
Speaker 1: I have a different intro every single time. Tell me
Speaker 1: if y'all think I should get an intro for Just
Speaker 1: Fix My Mess, because I have one on Breakfast Club
Speaker 1: for Jess with the Mess. I got one on Breakfast
Speaker 1: Club for Just with the Mess. I don't have an
Speaker 1: intro for Just Fix My Mess for my podcast for
Speaker 1: Carefully Reckless under the Black Effects.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. So I made it. You
Speaker 2: know that's something that I should voice.
Speaker 1: Y'all should go spam Charlemagne's comments the Black Effect and
Speaker 1: iHeart and Breakfast Club fucking plow them in there too, Spam.
Speaker 1: Just Hilarious needs her own intro for Jess Fix My
Speaker 1: Mess on her podcast that we listen and too, we
Speaker 1: tune into each and every Wednesday, and so we can't
Speaker 1: have her fixing people's mess if she's not gonna intro it, right,
Speaker 1: so I need an intro. So we're gonna definitely we
Speaker 1: are what was this called boycotton? We are boycotting and
Speaker 1: rioting for Jessic's intro.
Speaker 2: All right, that's what we're gonna do, all right, but
Speaker 2: we're gonna jump right into it now.
Speaker 1: We don't have voice memos this episode because people don't
Speaker 1: want their voices to be known. And that was explained
Speaker 1: and I do understand you, mate, go and know your voice.
Speaker 1: You calling in about your boyfriend, that nigga if you
Speaker 1: listened to carefully reckless, he going to.
Speaker 2: Know it's you.
Speaker 1: So please tread lightly, y'all. Tread lightly, y'all, I'll be reading.
Speaker 1: This is from a woman. Hey, jess I need help.
Speaker 1: So I've been with my fiance for a year and
Speaker 1: a half and it's been pure hell down. When we
Speaker 1: first got together, I was in a good place mentally, emotionally, financially,
Speaker 1: et cetera.
Speaker 2: Okay, so you was good all the way around.
Speaker 1: So he was living with his brother, but things happened
Speaker 1: to where he had to move. Me, being Captain saber Hole,
Speaker 1: told him he can stay with me until he found
Speaker 1: another place. Mistake number one, Yes it was girl not
Speaker 1: he can move with you until he found another place.
Speaker 1: If he was your nigga and he moved with you,
Speaker 1: he wasn't moving out. That that's just what it is.
Speaker 1: Within that time, I found out I was pregnant, so
Speaker 1: we agreed to just continue to live together. Okay, right
Speaker 1: before I found out I was pregnant, I let him
Speaker 1: use my car, took her to work one night, and
Speaker 1: he ended up totaling it. Oh man, I made him
Speaker 1: put down the down payment on another car because he
Speaker 1: was somewhere he wasn't supposed to be.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, I know the fuck that's right, But.
Speaker 1: No, you don't make him put a car up a
Speaker 1: down payment on the new car because he was somewhere
Speaker 1: he wasn't supposed to be. You make him put the
Speaker 1: fucking down payment on the new car because he totaled
Speaker 1: your shit and that wasn't his. So I pay the
Speaker 1: car note, the insurance, the rent, electricity, and so on
Speaker 1: and so forth. Now this way the real issues begin.
Speaker 1: Once he found out I was pregnant, he started disappearing
Speaker 1: on me on his payday. He would go lay up
Speaker 1: with whoever and come back home once he's broke. I'm
Speaker 1: pregnant anymore, so I take him back. That was a
Speaker 1: lot to digest in the last little sentence, I'm gonna.
Speaker 2: Rerunt it back for those in the back.
Speaker 1: On his payday, he would go lay up with whoever
Speaker 1: and come back home once he's broke. I'm pregnant and emotional,
Speaker 1: so I take him back. Oh baby, mm hmm. I
Speaker 1: would say mistake number two, but it was so many
Speaker 1: other mistakes leading up to this one. I'm gonna let
Speaker 1: you go in this becomes an ongoing thing. During the
Speaker 1: middle of my pregnancy, I caught COVID really bad, so
Speaker 1: I ended up on bed rests.
Speaker 2: Oh Jesus.
Speaker 1: I started getting unemployment shortly after, and I was still
Speaker 1: paying all the bills myself.
Speaker 2: When I can time what I'm trying to figure out
Speaker 2: what this is saying.
Speaker 1: Y'all hold up, give me a second, y'all gotta you know,
Speaker 1: because when they write, they write a little fast. I
Speaker 1: told y'all to make sure y'all punctuate or punctualize or
Speaker 1: punctualize when y'all writing shit.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to figure it out. So this is.
Speaker 1: See if I'm gonna say if I'm a reading, and
Speaker 1: then I'm gona say if I can make sense of
Speaker 1: it when I can time to renew my lease, my
Speaker 1: unemployment had ran out, and I end up having to
Speaker 1: move with his mom. Okay, so anyway it happened like this,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna just break it down. When it came time
Speaker 1: to renew the lease, my unemployment had ran out and
Speaker 1: I ended up having to move with his mom.
Speaker 2: I thought this move.
Speaker 1: Would help me as far as child care and being
Speaker 1: able to save. Two months after moving in with his mom,
Speaker 1: he quits his job.
Speaker 2: I was pissed, but it.
Speaker 1: Was a nightclub where he did most of his hoeing,
Speaker 1: so I assumed he would just find another job. It's
Speaker 1: been nine months and he still don't have a job.
Speaker 1: His mom became really sick and she put me on
Speaker 1: her medical paperwork because he's unreliable.
Speaker 2: Damn. So now you got two headaches, him and his mom.
Speaker 1: So when she gets real sick, I'm the one that
Speaker 1: has to take off work and make sure she's taken
Speaker 1: care of. I have fallen completely out of love with him,
Speaker 1: but I have a lot of love for him because
Speaker 1: he's still my child's father, and given the history that
Speaker 1: y'all went through, so yeah, I don't know what to do.
Speaker 1: Because I don't have family that can help me, especially
Speaker 1: with childcare, so I feel like I'm obligated to stay
Speaker 1: in a miserable place in order to make sure my
Speaker 1: child is taken care of. I am stressed to the
Speaker 1: point where I've lost almost twenty pounds in a month.
Speaker 2: Please just keep it real with me and help me
Speaker 2: fix my mess.
Speaker 1: Love your bunches, baby, I love you too, and this
Speaker 1: is why I'm about to get in your ass because
Speaker 1: I love you.
Speaker 2: This is gonna be some tough love.
Speaker 1: But baby, if it ain't coming from none of your friends,
Speaker 1: if it ain't coming from your mom, I don't know
Speaker 1: the relationship between y'all. Even if it didn't come from
Speaker 1: his motherfucking mom who he couldn't even move with at first.
Speaker 1: You see, you see that that's a red flag. You
Speaker 1: lost your job and had to move in with his mom.
Speaker 1: You know you're pregnant. You were already paying the fucking bills,
Speaker 1: every single bill there was to pay, you were paying it,
Speaker 1: so you were already superwoman in your own house. He
Speaker 1: was already doing bad by yourself with a nigga who
Speaker 1: ain't worth two shit. Some sorry, excuse me, but this
Speaker 1: is exactly what you're giving me, So I'm just regurgitating
Speaker 1: it back to you. And sometimes that is the advice
Speaker 1: you hearing your own shit thrown back at you, so
Speaker 1: to make you further realize what you need to do.
Speaker 1: All right, now, we can't put the baby back, No,
Speaker 1: we can't. And I know you do not regret your child.
Speaker 1: I would never regret any child that I had that
Speaker 1: I gave.
Speaker 2: Birth to because of the father. So that's one thing.
Speaker 2: So we have a baby.
Speaker 1: We know that, we knew that he was unfucking reliable
Speaker 1: before you found out you were pregnant. You know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. He had to move in with you, Like
Speaker 1: you said, that was your first mistake. Why couldn't he
Speaker 1: move in with his fucking mother?
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 1: Because he likes to be taken care of. You moved
Speaker 1: him in and you enabled him. Yep, you played a
Speaker 1: part in him being lazy. You played a part in
Speaker 1: him not being able to handle his responsibilities. You allowed it,
Speaker 1: and then you expected for him to change. That's not
Speaker 1: even what's supposed to have been happening. Don't even take care
Speaker 1: of herself. He damn sure would not be able to
Speaker 1: take care of a baby. And he and you started
Speaker 1: taking care of him. So he was okay, resting ashore,
Speaker 1: knowing that if she take care of me, she definitely
Speaker 1: can be a good mother to this baby. So as
Speaker 1: long as I got her, I'm good. You know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. So you enabled him. Then you lost the job,
Speaker 1: y'all had to move in with his mom. He got
Speaker 1: a job. After two months, he quit. Hold on, wait,
Speaker 1: let me go back. I don't want tom misquote you.
Speaker 1: After two months, Yeah, he quit. He didn't even get
Speaker 1: fucking fired. He quit his job after moving in with
Speaker 1: his mom. Why because his mom ain't gonna put him out.
Speaker 1: That's one thing. His mom ain't gonna put you out.
Speaker 1: And if she ain't gonna put you out, she ain't
Speaker 1: gonna put him out.
Speaker 2: There we go right there, she not.
Speaker 1: Obviously, you two have built the bond because you over
Speaker 1: here taken care of her. Now like you not pregnant
Speaker 1: in bedridden, you're supposed to have been put on bed rest
Speaker 1: because you caught COVID. Shit happens, So now you're even
Speaker 1: more in shambles, you know what I'm saying. Do you
Speaker 1: see this pattern? Nine months later, fast forward, the baby's here.
Speaker 1: He still ain't got no fucking job, and you're taking
Speaker 1: care of not only him, but his mother and your baby.
Speaker 1: So you got three people to take care of, two
Speaker 1: kids and a mom. Because I'm sorry, your baby daddy
Speaker 1: is your kid. That's exactly what you need to be claiming.
Speaker 1: Is ass on tasas or something, writing that motherfucker off.
Speaker 1: I wish you could write off somebody. I really wish
Speaker 1: you could a grown ass people. But it sounds as
Speaker 1: if you know exactly what the hell you need to do.
Speaker 1: You said you're fallen out of love with him already,
Speaker 1: You're in a miserable place. You're just trying to make
Speaker 1: it work to take care of your child. You lost
Speaker 1: twenty pounds in a month being stressed trying to figure
Speaker 1: out where your next check won't come from. Then also,
Speaker 1: you got this man that you're taking care of and
Speaker 1: now his mother. You don't want to leave his mother
Speaker 1: high in dry. Does he have any siblings? Does it?
Speaker 1: Is there any way that if you don't do it,
Speaker 1: he'll step up and fucking do it.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: That's a big responsibility. You let her put your name
Speaker 1: down as emergency contact. You got your own shit going on, baby,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, where's your mom, where's your family?
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. What I'm saying, this is
Speaker 2: not good.
Speaker 1: And then the first thing that you said, So, I've
Speaker 1: been with my fiance for a year and a half
Speaker 1: and it's been pure hell. He proposed to you with
Speaker 1: no intention on giving you a fucking wedding.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: And I'm saying that because look at the place you're
Speaker 1: in right now. If he can't even pay bills, how
Speaker 1: the fuck he gonna pay for a fucking wedding. How
Speaker 1: it needs you to understand that? Hold up, Hold up,
Speaker 1: I know this shit getting good, but listen to just
Speaker 1: a couple seconds of a commercial.
Speaker 2: If you love me, you'll listen.
Speaker 1: Your fiance for a year and a half. That shit
Speaker 1: ain't supposed to be going bed that soon. But it's
Speaker 1: still situations that could be worse, that are worse than yours.
Speaker 2: So you're not completely in the goddamn dumps. No you're not.
Speaker 1: If you still got good credit, you still got breath
Speaker 1: to breathe every time you wake up, you have a
Speaker 1: chance to change your situation.
Speaker 2: There you go.
Speaker 1: And the reason why I say credit is because you
Speaker 1: need to get the hell out of there and get
Speaker 1: into your own shit. Still, you need to get another car,
Speaker 1: all right. You don'na let Jody crash and goddamn car up.
Speaker 1: Yes I called him Jody, Yes I did. Event I
Speaker 1: called him Jody. And you don't let this nigga joey you.
Speaker 1: That's what it is. I ain't mad at him. I'm
Speaker 1: mad at jo ass, yes i am. But unlike my
Speaker 1: brother Charlemagne, I'm not gonna give you dunky other day
Speaker 1: because we live and we fucking learn. We live and
Speaker 1: we fucking learned, and you got a great blessing out
Speaker 1: the deal when that is your baby.
Speaker 2: So we will always move forward with grace.
Speaker 1: But listen, it ain't like he gonna be fighting for
Speaker 1: custody and taking you downtown for child support, baby, and
Speaker 1: he ain't even got a leg to stand on, you know,
Speaker 1: So we just pray for him, and you keep it moving,
Speaker 1: You keep it the fuck moving, and you don't look back.
Speaker 1: Don't look back in that way. I don't mean you
Speaker 1: gotta cut all ties with him, because he's still your
Speaker 1: child's father and you still have a great amount of
Speaker 1: love for him. But have enough love for him to
Speaker 1: leave his ants all the way alone and let him
Speaker 1: get hisself together, because you can't make him get itself together.
Speaker 1: You gotta let him get itself together, and you can't
Speaker 1: make your child a part of that, that toxicity, that
Speaker 1: that whole little situation going on, okay, because you gotta
Speaker 1: do it all for your baby. You gotta be mentally
Speaker 1: prepared for motherhood. You know, you got a child to raise.
Speaker 1: So shit is real, all right, Shit is real. Shit
Speaker 1: is real for you every day, all right. So I
Speaker 1: need you to check in with me. Well, the advice
Speaker 1: is straight up to fucking leave, I'm sorry, make him
Speaker 1: take care of his mother. Will let him take care
Speaker 1: of his mother. He ain't gonna let her get so
Speaker 1: sick where she just you know, you know, she just
Speaker 1: fucking croak. You know, if it's if it's you know where,
Speaker 1: if that's in his control, you know, he can take
Speaker 1: care of his mother.
Speaker 2: You need You are a mother, You need to take
Speaker 2: care of your child because he can't do that with you.
Speaker 2: Right now, check back in with me.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna need to know because I'm I'm I need
Speaker 1: you to get the fuck up out of their baby.
Speaker 1: And we're moving on. This is from another woman and
Speaker 1: there is no voice memo. She oh god, she got emoji.
Speaker 1: She really about the main this shit. Okay, hey, jas,
Speaker 1: I just wanted to say that I'm proud of you girl,
Speaker 1: keep doing your thing, but I need help with my mets.
Speaker 1: So I was dating this guy for about three weeks. Okay,
Speaker 1: the vibes was there, he cooked for me, we had drinks.
Speaker 1: I really like him. This nigga dropped the love bomb
Speaker 1: on me after the first week. But the nigga threw
Speaker 1: up a red flag two of them shits. I have
Speaker 1: two jobs, two kids, in a house that I'm putting
Speaker 1: back together. The nigga asked me to help him pay
Speaker 1: his rent that he's behind on eighteen hundred dollars. The
Speaker 1: fuck is he on? Then asked me could I apply
Speaker 1: for a loan to help him. I immediately fell some
Speaker 1: type of way because the fuck he kept saying, Bay,
Speaker 1: I just want you to have my back and love
Speaker 1: on me and do what I say.
Speaker 2: He and me fucked up, Jess, I'm too independent for
Speaker 2: this nigga.
Speaker 1: So he snapped on me because I said I'm not
Speaker 1: helping him out, like it's only been three weeks and
Speaker 1: I honestly feel disrespected.
Speaker 2: It's the audacity for me.
Speaker 1: Then what makes it so bad is I caught feelings
Speaker 1: for his dinosaur dick ass, Jess, I listened to your
Speaker 1: show every time you drop episode.
Speaker 2: Does it the okay? Well, thank you? You ain't just
Speaker 2: going hold up?
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, time out, flag on the play? Can
Speaker 1: we just go back to our corners real quick? How
Speaker 1: the fuck are you gonna go from? She said, it's
Speaker 1: the audacity for me. Then what makes it so bad
Speaker 1: is I fell.
Speaker 2: For his y.
Speaker 1: I caught feelings for his dick ass, Jess. I listen
Speaker 1: to your show every time you drop episode. That's just
Speaker 1: how we're gonna end it, baby, all.
Speaker 2: Right, so she listening right now.
Speaker 1: So I gotta help you. I gotta help you. Boy,
Speaker 1: I get it. And you're so pretty. I'm looking at
Speaker 1: your page, your profile.
Speaker 2: You so pretty? All right, girl, here we go here,
Speaker 2: it's all right.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna tell you, don't don't beat yourself up
Speaker 1: for falling for the dinosaur dick girl, Please don't.
Speaker 2: I don't. It's alright.
Speaker 1: Sometimes we get a little weakened knees for a little
Speaker 1: dinosaur Dane LINGI it's all right, sorry, I'm glad you
Speaker 1: listened to my episode. My episodes every time I drop one,
Speaker 1: and this one is for you baby. Now we got
Speaker 1: a commercial, and if you click off of this podcast,
Speaker 1: I swear I'm gonna beat your ass. Listen, all right,
Speaker 1: So you seem to be very smart, all right, and
Speaker 1: look at the three weeks girl.
Speaker 2: Look that's a flex. She had a nigga time about
Speaker 2: he love you, all right.
Speaker 1: What's not a flex is him saying he loves and
Speaker 1: then following up what all this extra bills and expenses
Speaker 1: bullshit that he got going on, Like he just reade
Speaker 1: drop all of that shit in your lab after three weeks?
Speaker 2: So this was either his plan because this is what
Speaker 2: he does.
Speaker 1: He saw you, he know, he know the power of
Speaker 1: his Dino dick, and he just was able to win
Speaker 1: you over. You know, we got guys like that, guys
Speaker 1: that prey on successful women with good hearts who like
Speaker 1: to save people. This is the same girl from the
Speaker 1: last story put on her save a whole cake, and
Speaker 1: now she and the gutter right next to the nigga
Speaker 1: damn men in a goddamn gutter with a baby taking
Speaker 1: care of his mother and him and he'd Havene fucked
Speaker 1: up her credit, her life is and shambles and all
Speaker 1: this shit. That's what happens when you go from being
Speaker 1: a superhero and now you are a hurt villain. That's
Speaker 1: some bullshit, ain't it. That's like the story of the Joker.
Speaker 1: Everybody got a story, right, Every villain has a story
Speaker 1: because every villain wasn't born bad. They were born great
Speaker 1: and they were actually saving people at first, and then
Speaker 1: it got fucked over, and then that that that hurt people,
Speaker 1: hurt people, shit them kicked in and now you're a villain.
Speaker 2: Well, I don't want you to be a villain, young lady.
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't want you to hurt.
Speaker 1: The next nigga, because this nigga was a trash ball,
Speaker 1: because that's exactly what it is. First of all, I
Speaker 1: don't doubt that he loved you. After three weeks. You
Speaker 1: probably got good conversation. You probably different, you know, with
Speaker 1: all the shit that he told you, Yet you different.
Speaker 1: I ain't never hurting nobody like you, like you really
Speaker 1: got good pussy pussy, like you know he probably could have,
Speaker 1: you know, the Master Donald Dick. I know you got
Speaker 1: some nice spicy pussy. So y'all sex life was already booming,
Speaker 1: all right, the red flag you seem to know.
Speaker 2: I see.
Speaker 1: I hate giving advice to people who already know what
Speaker 1: the fuck going on, because you are, like I said,
Speaker 1: like I said in the last story, maybe you just
Speaker 1: need your bullshit regurgitated back to you so you know
Speaker 1: what you need to do. You just need to move
Speaker 1: the fuck on. You said he cooked for you, y'all
Speaker 1: had drinks and you really liked them. That's good. That's
Speaker 1: a part of his plan. That's the part of his plan.
Speaker 1: The only thing he didn't give you was no money.
Speaker 1: That's because he had nail money to give you. You
Speaker 1: had all the money to get back. He ended up
Speaker 1: billing you for that dinner that he cooked for all
Speaker 1: that donal dingling he'd been dropping off, and them good drinks.
Speaker 1: That's your bill. Now you got a goddamn bill, eighteen
Speaker 1: hundred dollars. You need to help them pay his rent.
Speaker 1: And this is how niggas think. You have two jobs,
Speaker 1: two kids, and a house that you're putting back together.
Speaker 2: So that shit must have got blown down by the
Speaker 2: last nigga.
Speaker 1: Here come another nigga trying to blow down his house.
Speaker 1: You're gonna let them or what you're gonna do. You're
Speaker 1: gonna dust off your cape and save your goddamn self.
Speaker 1: Don't keep saving these niggas, bitch, not saying you. I'm
Speaker 1: just speaking into the universe.
Speaker 2: Stop saving these niggas bitches.
Speaker 1: That's what I need for y'all to, you know, and
Speaker 1: that can be all nice and wholesome with you.
Speaker 2: Stop saving these guys ladies.
Speaker 1: But y'all don't understand when somebody talked to y'all like that,
Speaker 1: because that's side you fucking almost ended up paying an
Speaker 1: eighteen hundred dollars rent that wasn't mean yours while try
Speaker 1: to put your house back together. So yeah, I'm yelling
Speaker 1: at you because I ain't mad at this nigga. I'm
Speaker 1: mad at you because something tells me that if you
Speaker 1: still asking for advice, that you're still fucking.
Speaker 2: With this nigga here.
Speaker 1: And then after that little three weeks and you probably
Speaker 1: didn't pay eighteen hundred, but you probably gave him eight hundred.
Speaker 2: Toward the eighteen. I don't know.
Speaker 1: You need to tell me if I'm right, because you
Speaker 1: talking to me now, you're talking to me or don't
Speaker 1: don't bullshit me. You didnet did something to help this nigga,
Speaker 1: all right, you did something, and that's probably why you
Speaker 1: feel disrespected. And it's only been three weeks and you
Speaker 1: upset because you caught feelings because you know, no, you
Speaker 1: didn't help this nigga. You help them, And it don't
Speaker 1: look like he made a change or he going do
Speaker 1: anything to pay you back. It don't look it, don't
Speaker 1: It don't look too good. You either let her move
Speaker 1: in at goddamn house. It's something something you ain't telling me.
Speaker 2: Now. You're gonna have to come back and tell.
Speaker 1: Me because I know you, because I was you before,
Speaker 1: and I don't want you to be how I was
Speaker 1: any longer. So I'm gonna need you to tell me
Speaker 1: what I'm missing out of here, what you failed to
Speaker 1: tell me.
Speaker 2: You to help this nigga out, and you need to
Speaker 2: stop for you end.
Speaker 1: Up like the girl from the first story who ended
Speaker 1: up pregnant and had a baby by a nigga who
Speaker 1: she had to take care of. So now she got
Speaker 1: two damn kids, the baby and the father. That's not
Speaker 1: where you want to end You want to end up
Speaker 1: in the gutter. You don't want to end up in
Speaker 1: the gutter with a baby, but sometimes that happens, and
Speaker 1: I'll continue to pray for you if you end up there,
Speaker 1: because my sister's looking at me like this. You being
Speaker 1: too hard on it, all right, So I don't want
Speaker 1: to be too hard. I'm gonna pray for you and
Speaker 1: I love you. But I know you're lying to me
Speaker 1: about something, something you're holding back. So you tell me
Speaker 1: every thing, tell me, and just like that, we've come
Speaker 1: to the end of another carefully rekflast with your girl. Justesselarius,
Speaker 1: fix and mess the way. I'll be fixing it each
Speaker 1: and every Wednesday. Make sure you catch me on iHeart Spotify,
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, anywhere you can catch a podcast at you
Speaker 1: can catch mine, and in my deepest Pam Voice Can't
Speaker 1: Fully Reckless is a production of iHeart Radio and The
Speaker 1: Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.