1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:03,320 Speaker 1: Welcome to Can't Flee Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and 2 00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:18,000 Speaker 1: The Black Effects. And just like that, y'all, we are 3 00:00:18,079 --> 00:00:20,600 Speaker 1: back with yet another Carefully Reckless episode with your girl, 4 00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:21,279 Speaker 1: Jess Hilarious. 5 00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:23,320 Speaker 2: So listen. What I do is I be. 6 00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:25,720 Speaker 1: Fixing people's mess, y'all, and y'all know I love it. 7 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:28,360 Speaker 1: I have a different intro every single time. Tell me 8 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:30,080 Speaker 1: if y'all think I should get an intro for Just 9 00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:32,840 Speaker 1: Fix My Mess, because I have one on Breakfast Club 10 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:35,280 Speaker 1: for Jess with the Mess. I got one on Breakfast 11 00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:37,560 Speaker 1: Club for Just with the Mess. I don't have an 12 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:40,120 Speaker 1: intro for Just Fix My Mess for my podcast for 13 00:00:40,159 --> 00:00:41,839 Speaker 1: Carefully Reckless under the Black Effects. 14 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:44,839 Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. So I made it. You 15 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:46,680 Speaker 2: know that's something that I should voice. 16 00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:50,360 Speaker 1: Y'all should go spam Charlemagne's comments the Black Effect and 17 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:54,600 Speaker 1: iHeart and Breakfast Club fucking plow them in there too, Spam. 18 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:58,160 Speaker 1: Just Hilarious needs her own intro for Jess Fix My 19 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:00,400 Speaker 1: Mess on her podcast that we listen and too, we 20 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:03,920 Speaker 1: tune into each and every Wednesday, and so we can't 21 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:06,560 Speaker 1: have her fixing people's mess if she's not gonna intro it, right, 22 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:10,120 Speaker 1: so I need an intro. So we're gonna definitely we 23 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:12,920 Speaker 1: are what was this called boycotton? We are boycotting and 24 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,440 Speaker 1: rioting for Jessic's intro. 25 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:16,920 Speaker 2: All right, that's what we're gonna do, all right, but 26 00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:18,280 Speaker 2: we're gonna jump right into it now. 27 00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:20,840 Speaker 1: We don't have voice memos this episode because people don't 28 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:23,600 Speaker 1: want their voices to be known. And that was explained 29 00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:26,120 Speaker 1: and I do understand you, mate, go and know your voice. 30 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:29,160 Speaker 1: You calling in about your boyfriend, that nigga if you 31 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:30,720 Speaker 1: listened to carefully reckless, he going to. 32 00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:31,040 Speaker 2: Know it's you. 33 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:36,800 Speaker 1: So please tread lightly, y'all. Tread lightly, y'all, I'll be reading. 34 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:39,640 Speaker 1: This is from a woman. Hey, jess I need help. 35 00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:42,120 Speaker 1: So I've been with my fiance for a year and 36 00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:45,680 Speaker 1: a half and it's been pure hell down. When we 37 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:49,559 Speaker 1: first got together, I was in a good place mentally, emotionally, financially, 38 00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:50,160 Speaker 1: et cetera. 39 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:52,320 Speaker 2: Okay, so you was good all the way around. 40 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:55,320 Speaker 1: So he was living with his brother, but things happened 41 00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:58,560 Speaker 1: to where he had to move. Me, being Captain saber Hole, 42 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:00,559 Speaker 1: told him he can stay with me until he found 43 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:04,080 Speaker 1: another place. Mistake number one, Yes it was girl not 44 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:06,040 Speaker 1: he can move with you until he found another place. 45 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:07,880 Speaker 1: If he was your nigga and he moved with you, 46 00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:11,200 Speaker 1: he wasn't moving out. That that's just what it is. 47 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:14,200 Speaker 1: Within that time, I found out I was pregnant, so 48 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:17,520 Speaker 1: we agreed to just continue to live together. Okay, right 49 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:19,360 Speaker 1: before I found out I was pregnant, I let him 50 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:21,640 Speaker 1: use my car, took her to work one night, and 51 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:24,600 Speaker 1: he ended up totaling it. Oh man, I made him 52 00:02:24,639 --> 00:02:27,720 Speaker 1: put down the down payment on another car because he 53 00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:29,400 Speaker 1: was somewhere he wasn't supposed to be. 54 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:31,840 Speaker 2: Oh okay, I know the fuck that's right, But. 55 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:33,600 Speaker 1: No, you don't make him put a car up a 56 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:36,160 Speaker 1: down payment on the new car because he was somewhere 57 00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:37,760 Speaker 1: he wasn't supposed to be. You make him put the 58 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:40,560 Speaker 1: fucking down payment on the new car because he totaled 59 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:44,160 Speaker 1: your shit and that wasn't his. So I pay the 60 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:47,560 Speaker 1: car note, the insurance, the rent, electricity, and so on 61 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:50,399 Speaker 1: and so forth. Now this way the real issues begin. 62 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:53,160 Speaker 1: Once he found out I was pregnant, he started disappearing 63 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,600 Speaker 1: on me on his payday. He would go lay up 64 00:02:55,639 --> 00:02:59,160 Speaker 1: with whoever and come back home once he's broke. I'm 65 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:03,600 Speaker 1: pregnant anymore, so I take him back. That was a 66 00:03:03,639 --> 00:03:07,040 Speaker 1: lot to digest in the last little sentence, I'm gonna. 67 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:08,320 Speaker 2: Rerunt it back for those in the back. 68 00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:11,400 Speaker 1: On his payday, he would go lay up with whoever 69 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:15,480 Speaker 1: and come back home once he's broke. I'm pregnant and emotional, 70 00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:19,360 Speaker 1: so I take him back. Oh baby, mm hmm. I 71 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,560 Speaker 1: would say mistake number two, but it was so many 72 00:03:21,639 --> 00:03:24,240 Speaker 1: other mistakes leading up to this one. I'm gonna let 73 00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:27,640 Speaker 1: you go in this becomes an ongoing thing. During the 74 00:03:27,639 --> 00:03:30,560 Speaker 1: middle of my pregnancy, I caught COVID really bad, so 75 00:03:30,639 --> 00:03:31,880 Speaker 1: I ended up on bed rests. 76 00:03:31,919 --> 00:03:32,600 Speaker 2: Oh Jesus. 77 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:36,480 Speaker 1: I started getting unemployment shortly after, and I was still 78 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:38,000 Speaker 1: paying all the bills myself. 79 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:42,240 Speaker 2: When I can time what I'm trying to figure out 80 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:42,839 Speaker 2: what this is saying. 81 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:45,120 Speaker 1: Y'all hold up, give me a second, y'all gotta you know, 82 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:47,960 Speaker 1: because when they write, they write a little fast. I 83 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:53,000 Speaker 1: told y'all to make sure y'all punctuate or punctualize or 84 00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:55,640 Speaker 1: punctualize when y'all writing shit. 85 00:03:55,680 --> 00:03:57,120 Speaker 2: I'm trying to figure it out. So this is. 86 00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:58,480 Speaker 1: See if I'm gonna say if I'm a reading, and 87 00:03:58,520 --> 00:03:59,800 Speaker 1: then I'm gona say if I can make sense of 88 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:02,680 Speaker 1: it when I can time to renew my lease, my 89 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:06,440 Speaker 1: unemployment had ran out, and I end up having to 90 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:10,000 Speaker 1: move with his mom. Okay, so anyway it happened like this, 91 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:12,520 Speaker 1: I'm gonna just break it down. When it came time 92 00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:15,400 Speaker 1: to renew the lease, my unemployment had ran out and 93 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:17,479 Speaker 1: I ended up having to move with his mom. 94 00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:19,159 Speaker 2: I thought this move. 95 00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:21,480 Speaker 1: Would help me as far as child care and being 96 00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:24,679 Speaker 1: able to save. Two months after moving in with his mom, 97 00:04:24,839 --> 00:04:26,040 Speaker 1: he quits his job. 98 00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:28,200 Speaker 2: I was pissed, but it. 99 00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:30,360 Speaker 1: Was a nightclub where he did most of his hoeing, 100 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:34,200 Speaker 1: so I assumed he would just find another job. It's 101 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:36,560 Speaker 1: been nine months and he still don't have a job. 102 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:39,600 Speaker 1: His mom became really sick and she put me on 103 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:42,360 Speaker 1: her medical paperwork because he's unreliable. 104 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:47,839 Speaker 2: Damn. So now you got two headaches, him and his mom. 105 00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:50,080 Speaker 1: So when she gets real sick, I'm the one that 106 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:52,760 Speaker 1: has to take off work and make sure she's taken 107 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:55,640 Speaker 1: care of. I have fallen completely out of love with him, 108 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:57,640 Speaker 1: but I have a lot of love for him because 109 00:04:57,640 --> 00:05:00,120 Speaker 1: he's still my child's father, and given the history that 110 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,440 Speaker 1: y'all went through, so yeah, I don't know what to do. 111 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:05,080 Speaker 1: Because I don't have family that can help me, especially 112 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:08,520 Speaker 1: with childcare, so I feel like I'm obligated to stay 113 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:11,080 Speaker 1: in a miserable place in order to make sure my 114 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:14,159 Speaker 1: child is taken care of. I am stressed to the 115 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:16,960 Speaker 1: point where I've lost almost twenty pounds in a month. 116 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,440 Speaker 2: Please just keep it real with me and help me 117 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:20,320 Speaker 2: fix my mess. 118 00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:23,160 Speaker 1: Love your bunches, baby, I love you too, and this 119 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,440 Speaker 1: is why I'm about to get in your ass because 120 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:26,400 Speaker 1: I love you. 121 00:05:27,279 --> 00:05:28,560 Speaker 2: This is gonna be some tough love. 122 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:31,520 Speaker 1: But baby, if it ain't coming from none of your friends, 123 00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:33,680 Speaker 1: if it ain't coming from your mom, I don't know 124 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:36,479 Speaker 1: the relationship between y'all. Even if it didn't come from 125 00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:40,760 Speaker 1: his motherfucking mom who he couldn't even move with at first. 126 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:43,520 Speaker 1: You see, you see that that's a red flag. You 127 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:46,120 Speaker 1: lost your job and had to move in with his mom. 128 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:49,400 Speaker 1: You know you're pregnant. You were already paying the fucking bills, 129 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:52,680 Speaker 1: every single bill there was to pay, you were paying it, 130 00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:55,080 Speaker 1: so you were already superwoman in your own house. He 131 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:57,800 Speaker 1: was already doing bad by yourself with a nigga who 132 00:05:57,839 --> 00:06:01,120 Speaker 1: ain't worth two shit. Some sorry, excuse me, but this 133 00:06:01,279 --> 00:06:04,120 Speaker 1: is exactly what you're giving me, So I'm just regurgitating 134 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:07,000 Speaker 1: it back to you. And sometimes that is the advice 135 00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:09,520 Speaker 1: you hearing your own shit thrown back at you, so 136 00:06:09,839 --> 00:06:12,000 Speaker 1: to make you further realize what you need to do. 137 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:15,800 Speaker 1: All right, now, we can't put the baby back, No, 138 00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:18,159 Speaker 1: we can't. And I know you do not regret your child. 139 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:21,599 Speaker 1: I would never regret any child that I had that 140 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:22,239 Speaker 1: I gave. 141 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:24,880 Speaker 2: Birth to because of the father. So that's one thing. 142 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:25,960 Speaker 2: So we have a baby. 143 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:30,640 Speaker 1: We know that, we knew that he was unfucking reliable 144 00:06:30,839 --> 00:06:33,040 Speaker 1: before you found out you were pregnant. You know what 145 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:35,800 Speaker 1: I'm saying. He had to move in with you, Like 146 00:06:35,839 --> 00:06:38,520 Speaker 1: you said, that was your first mistake. Why couldn't he 147 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:40,040 Speaker 1: move in with his fucking mother? 148 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:41,000 Speaker 2: All right? 149 00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:44,360 Speaker 1: Because he likes to be taken care of. You moved 150 00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:47,080 Speaker 1: him in and you enabled him. Yep, you played a 151 00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:49,640 Speaker 1: part in him being lazy. You played a part in 152 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:53,359 Speaker 1: him not being able to handle his responsibilities. You allowed it, 153 00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:57,280 Speaker 1: and then you expected for him to change. That's not 154 00:06:57,360 --> 00:07:00,640 Speaker 1: even what's supposed to have been happening. Don't even take care 155 00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:02,640 Speaker 1: of herself. He damn sure would not be able to 156 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:04,800 Speaker 1: take care of a baby. And he and you started 157 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:07,880 Speaker 1: taking care of him. So he was okay, resting ashore, 158 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:10,560 Speaker 1: knowing that if she take care of me, she definitely 159 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:12,640 Speaker 1: can be a good mother to this baby. So as 160 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:14,720 Speaker 1: long as I got her, I'm good. You know what 161 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:18,520 Speaker 1: I'm saying. So you enabled him. Then you lost the job, 162 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:21,080 Speaker 1: y'all had to move in with his mom. He got 163 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:25,200 Speaker 1: a job. After two months, he quit. Hold on, wait, 164 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:27,920 Speaker 1: let me go back. I don't want tom misquote you. 165 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:32,160 Speaker 1: After two months, Yeah, he quit. He didn't even get 166 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:36,560 Speaker 1: fucking fired. He quit his job after moving in with 167 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:40,800 Speaker 1: his mom. Why because his mom ain't gonna put him out. 168 00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:43,800 Speaker 1: That's one thing. His mom ain't gonna put you out. 169 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:45,680 Speaker 1: And if she ain't gonna put you out, she ain't 170 00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:46,840 Speaker 1: gonna put him out. 171 00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:49,000 Speaker 2: There we go right there, she not. 172 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,560 Speaker 1: Obviously, you two have built the bond because you over 173 00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:54,680 Speaker 1: here taken care of her. Now like you not pregnant 174 00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:57,640 Speaker 1: in bedridden, you're supposed to have been put on bed rest 175 00:07:57,640 --> 00:08:02,360 Speaker 1: because you caught COVID. Shit happens, So now you're even 176 00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:06,120 Speaker 1: more in shambles, you know what I'm saying. Do you 177 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:10,880 Speaker 1: see this pattern? Nine months later, fast forward, the baby's here. 178 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:14,600 Speaker 1: He still ain't got no fucking job, and you're taking 179 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:18,080 Speaker 1: care of not only him, but his mother and your baby. 180 00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:22,120 Speaker 1: So you got three people to take care of, two 181 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,960 Speaker 1: kids and a mom. Because I'm sorry, your baby daddy 182 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,600 Speaker 1: is your kid. That's exactly what you need to be claiming. 183 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:31,680 Speaker 1: Is ass on tasas or something, writing that motherfucker off. 184 00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:34,080 Speaker 1: I wish you could write off somebody. I really wish 185 00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:38,160 Speaker 1: you could a grown ass people. But it sounds as 186 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:40,200 Speaker 1: if you know exactly what the hell you need to do. 187 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:44,040 Speaker 1: You said you're fallen out of love with him already, 188 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:48,040 Speaker 1: You're in a miserable place. You're just trying to make 189 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:50,199 Speaker 1: it work to take care of your child. You lost 190 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:52,800 Speaker 1: twenty pounds in a month being stressed trying to figure 191 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:55,320 Speaker 1: out where your next check won't come from. Then also, 192 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:57,360 Speaker 1: you got this man that you're taking care of and 193 00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:59,600 Speaker 1: now his mother. You don't want to leave his mother 194 00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:02,800 Speaker 1: high in dry. Does he have any siblings? Does it? 195 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:05,160 Speaker 1: Is there any way that if you don't do it, 196 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:07,360 Speaker 1: he'll step up and fucking do it. 197 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:08,720 Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. 198 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:11,400 Speaker 1: That's a big responsibility. You let her put your name 199 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:14,440 Speaker 1: down as emergency contact. You got your own shit going on, baby, 200 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:17,640 Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, where's your mom, where's your family? 201 00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:19,760 Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. What I'm saying, this is 202 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:20,280 Speaker 2: not good. 203 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:23,920 Speaker 1: And then the first thing that you said, So, I've 204 00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:26,000 Speaker 1: been with my fiance for a year and a half 205 00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:29,000 Speaker 1: and it's been pure hell. He proposed to you with 206 00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:31,000 Speaker 1: no intention on giving you a fucking wedding. 207 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:32,360 Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. 208 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:34,920 Speaker 1: And I'm saying that because look at the place you're 209 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:38,160 Speaker 1: in right now. If he can't even pay bills, how 210 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:41,240 Speaker 1: the fuck he gonna pay for a fucking wedding. How 211 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:44,840 Speaker 1: it needs you to understand that? Hold up, Hold up, 212 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:46,840 Speaker 1: I know this shit getting good, but listen to just 213 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:48,320 Speaker 1: a couple seconds of a commercial. 214 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:49,520 Speaker 2: If you love me, you'll listen. 215 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:55,120 Speaker 1: Your fiance for a year and a half. That shit 216 00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:59,560 Speaker 1: ain't supposed to be going bed that soon. But it's 217 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:06,319 Speaker 1: still situations that could be worse, that are worse than yours. 218 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:10,200 Speaker 2: So you're not completely in the goddamn dumps. No you're not. 219 00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:12,880 Speaker 1: If you still got good credit, you still got breath 220 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:15,000 Speaker 1: to breathe every time you wake up, you have a 221 00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:17,040 Speaker 1: chance to change your situation. 222 00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:18,760 Speaker 2: There you go. 223 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,840 Speaker 1: And the reason why I say credit is because you 224 00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:22,040 Speaker 1: need to get the hell out of there and get 225 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:24,680 Speaker 1: into your own shit. Still, you need to get another car, 226 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:28,319 Speaker 1: all right. You don'na let Jody crash and goddamn car up. 227 00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:32,560 Speaker 1: Yes I called him Jody, Yes I did. Event I 228 00:10:32,679 --> 00:10:35,920 Speaker 1: called him Jody. And you don't let this nigga joey you. 229 00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:38,600 Speaker 1: That's what it is. I ain't mad at him. I'm 230 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:42,880 Speaker 1: mad at jo ass, yes i am. But unlike my 231 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:45,920 Speaker 1: brother Charlemagne, I'm not gonna give you dunky other day 232 00:10:46,559 --> 00:10:49,800 Speaker 1: because we live and we fucking learn. We live and 233 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:52,439 Speaker 1: we fucking learned, and you got a great blessing out 234 00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:53,720 Speaker 1: the deal when that is your baby. 235 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,560 Speaker 2: So we will always move forward with grace. 236 00:10:57,280 --> 00:11:00,600 Speaker 1: But listen, it ain't like he gonna be fighting for 237 00:11:00,679 --> 00:11:03,440 Speaker 1: custody and taking you downtown for child support, baby, and 238 00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:05,360 Speaker 1: he ain't even got a leg to stand on, you know, 239 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:08,680 Speaker 1: So we just pray for him, and you keep it moving, 240 00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:12,760 Speaker 1: You keep it the fuck moving, and you don't look back. 241 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:16,200 Speaker 1: Don't look back in that way. I don't mean you 242 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:18,080 Speaker 1: gotta cut all ties with him, because he's still your 243 00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:20,160 Speaker 1: child's father and you still have a great amount of 244 00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:23,040 Speaker 1: love for him. But have enough love for him to 245 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:25,120 Speaker 1: leave his ants all the way alone and let him 246 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:27,720 Speaker 1: get hisself together, because you can't make him get itself together. 247 00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:30,280 Speaker 1: You gotta let him get itself together, and you can't 248 00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:33,920 Speaker 1: make your child a part of that, that toxicity, that 249 00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:38,439 Speaker 1: that whole little situation going on, okay, because you gotta 250 00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:40,280 Speaker 1: do it all for your baby. You gotta be mentally 251 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:45,199 Speaker 1: prepared for motherhood. You know, you got a child to raise. 252 00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:48,640 Speaker 1: So shit is real, all right, Shit is real. Shit 253 00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:51,520 Speaker 1: is real for you every day, all right. So I 254 00:11:51,559 --> 00:11:54,320 Speaker 1: need you to check in with me. Well, the advice 255 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:57,199 Speaker 1: is straight up to fucking leave, I'm sorry, make him 256 00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:58,840 Speaker 1: take care of his mother. Will let him take care 257 00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:00,800 Speaker 1: of his mother. He ain't gonna let her get so 258 00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:04,480 Speaker 1: sick where she just you know, you know, she just 259 00:12:04,559 --> 00:12:08,640 Speaker 1: fucking croak. You know, if it's if it's you know where, 260 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:11,400 Speaker 1: if that's in his control, you know, he can take 261 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:12,120 Speaker 1: care of his mother. 262 00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:13,959 Speaker 2: You need You are a mother, You need to take 263 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:16,720 Speaker 2: care of your child because he can't do that with you. 264 00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:19,160 Speaker 2: Right now, check back in with me. 265 00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:22,120 Speaker 1: I'm gonna need to know because I'm I'm I need 266 00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:23,720 Speaker 1: you to get the fuck up out of their baby. 267 00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:28,880 Speaker 1: And we're moving on. This is from another woman and 268 00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:31,679 Speaker 1: there is no voice memo. She oh god, she got emoji. 269 00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:35,120 Speaker 1: She really about the main this shit. Okay, hey, jas, 270 00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:36,840 Speaker 1: I just wanted to say that I'm proud of you girl, 271 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:39,400 Speaker 1: keep doing your thing, but I need help with my mets. 272 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:42,280 Speaker 1: So I was dating this guy for about three weeks. Okay, 273 00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:45,600 Speaker 1: the vibes was there, he cooked for me, we had drinks. 274 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:48,720 Speaker 1: I really like him. This nigga dropped the love bomb 275 00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:51,719 Speaker 1: on me after the first week. But the nigga threw 276 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:54,800 Speaker 1: up a red flag two of them shits. I have 277 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:57,280 Speaker 1: two jobs, two kids, in a house that I'm putting 278 00:12:57,320 --> 00:13:00,079 Speaker 1: back together. The nigga asked me to help him pay 279 00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:03,640 Speaker 1: his rent that he's behind on eighteen hundred dollars. The 280 00:13:03,679 --> 00:13:06,320 Speaker 1: fuck is he on? Then asked me could I apply 281 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:09,200 Speaker 1: for a loan to help him. I immediately fell some 282 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:12,120 Speaker 1: type of way because the fuck he kept saying, Bay, 283 00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:14,400 Speaker 1: I just want you to have my back and love 284 00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:16,000 Speaker 1: on me and do what I say. 285 00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:18,839 Speaker 2: He and me fucked up, Jess, I'm too independent for 286 00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:19,360 Speaker 2: this nigga. 287 00:13:19,679 --> 00:13:22,160 Speaker 1: So he snapped on me because I said I'm not 288 00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,920 Speaker 1: helping him out, like it's only been three weeks and 289 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,439 Speaker 1: I honestly feel disrespected. 290 00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:27,760 Speaker 2: It's the audacity for me. 291 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,600 Speaker 1: Then what makes it so bad is I caught feelings 292 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:33,600 Speaker 1: for his dinosaur dick ass, Jess, I listened to your 293 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:35,439 Speaker 1: show every time you drop episode. 294 00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:41,800 Speaker 2: Does it the okay? Well, thank you? You ain't just 295 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:42,840 Speaker 2: going hold up? 296 00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:46,400 Speaker 1: Wait a minute, time out, flag on the play? Can 297 00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:49,240 Speaker 1: we just go back to our corners real quick? How 298 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:52,760 Speaker 1: the fuck are you gonna go from? She said, it's 299 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:54,840 Speaker 1: the audacity for me. Then what makes it so bad 300 00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:55,720 Speaker 1: is I fell. 301 00:13:55,559 --> 00:13:56,960 Speaker 2: For his y. 302 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:02,200 Speaker 1: I caught feelings for his dick ass, Jess. I listen 303 00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:05,920 Speaker 1: to your show every time you drop episode. That's just 304 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:10,959 Speaker 1: how we're gonna end it, baby, all. 305 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,360 Speaker 2: Right, so she listening right now. 306 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,320 Speaker 1: So I gotta help you. I gotta help you. Boy, 307 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:16,360 Speaker 1: I get it. And you're so pretty. I'm looking at 308 00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:17,319 Speaker 1: your page, your profile. 309 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:20,720 Speaker 2: You so pretty? All right, girl, here we go here, 310 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:22,200 Speaker 2: it's all right. 311 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:24,280 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna tell you, don't don't beat yourself up 312 00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:26,800 Speaker 1: for falling for the dinosaur dick girl, Please don't. 313 00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:28,480 Speaker 2: I don't. It's alright. 314 00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:31,000 Speaker 1: Sometimes we get a little weakened knees for a little 315 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:34,360 Speaker 1: dinosaur Dane LINGI it's all right, sorry, I'm glad you 316 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:38,760 Speaker 1: listened to my episode. My episodes every time I drop one, 317 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:42,000 Speaker 1: and this one is for you baby. Now we got 318 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,120 Speaker 1: a commercial, and if you click off of this podcast, 319 00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:48,600 Speaker 1: I swear I'm gonna beat your ass. Listen, all right, 320 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:51,560 Speaker 1: So you seem to be very smart, all right, and 321 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:53,640 Speaker 1: look at the three weeks girl. 322 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,480 Speaker 2: Look that's a flex. She had a nigga time about 323 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:56,360 Speaker 2: he love you, all right. 324 00:14:56,960 --> 00:15:01,000 Speaker 1: What's not a flex is him saying he loves and 325 00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:04,520 Speaker 1: then following up what all this extra bills and expenses 326 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:07,360 Speaker 1: bullshit that he got going on, Like he just reade 327 00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:11,080 Speaker 1: drop all of that shit in your lab after three weeks? 328 00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:14,520 Speaker 2: So this was either his plan because this is what 329 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:15,240 Speaker 2: he does. 330 00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:18,760 Speaker 1: He saw you, he know, he know the power of 331 00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:22,640 Speaker 1: his Dino dick, and he just was able to win 332 00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:25,160 Speaker 1: you over. You know, we got guys like that, guys 333 00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:29,880 Speaker 1: that prey on successful women with good hearts who like 334 00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:33,480 Speaker 1: to save people. This is the same girl from the 335 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:37,000 Speaker 1: last story put on her save a whole cake, and 336 00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:39,640 Speaker 1: now she and the gutter right next to the nigga 337 00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:42,680 Speaker 1: damn men in a goddamn gutter with a baby taking 338 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:45,400 Speaker 1: care of his mother and him and he'd Havene fucked 339 00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:49,000 Speaker 1: up her credit, her life is and shambles and all 340 00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:51,560 Speaker 1: this shit. That's what happens when you go from being 341 00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:55,280 Speaker 1: a superhero and now you are a hurt villain. That's 342 00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:58,120 Speaker 1: some bullshit, ain't it. That's like the story of the Joker. 343 00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:01,600 Speaker 1: Everybody got a story, right, Every villain has a story 344 00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:05,440 Speaker 1: because every villain wasn't born bad. They were born great 345 00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:08,000 Speaker 1: and they were actually saving people at first, and then 346 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,880 Speaker 1: it got fucked over, and then that that that hurt people, 347 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:13,840 Speaker 1: hurt people, shit them kicked in and now you're a villain. 348 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:16,800 Speaker 2: Well, I don't want you to be a villain, young lady. 349 00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:17,360 Speaker 1: I don't. 350 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:18,640 Speaker 2: I don't want you to hurt. 351 00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:21,720 Speaker 1: The next nigga, because this nigga was a trash ball, 352 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:24,160 Speaker 1: because that's exactly what it is. First of all, I 353 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,040 Speaker 1: don't doubt that he loved you. After three weeks. You 354 00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:30,000 Speaker 1: probably got good conversation. You probably different, you know, with 355 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:32,120 Speaker 1: all the shit that he told you, Yet you different. 356 00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:35,920 Speaker 1: I ain't never hurting nobody like you, like you really 357 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,680 Speaker 1: got good pussy pussy, like you know he probably could have, 358 00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:40,760 Speaker 1: you know, the Master Donald Dick. I know you got 359 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:45,000 Speaker 1: some nice spicy pussy. So y'all sex life was already booming, 360 00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:49,080 Speaker 1: all right, the red flag you seem to know. 361 00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:49,480 Speaker 2: I see. 362 00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:51,960 Speaker 1: I hate giving advice to people who already know what 363 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:54,360 Speaker 1: the fuck going on, because you are, like I said, 364 00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:57,200 Speaker 1: like I said in the last story, maybe you just 365 00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:59,960 Speaker 1: need your bullshit regurgitated back to you so you know 366 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:03,000 Speaker 1: what you need to do. You just need to move 367 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:05,600 Speaker 1: the fuck on. You said he cooked for you, y'all 368 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:08,160 Speaker 1: had drinks and you really liked them. That's good. That's 369 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,640 Speaker 1: a part of his plan. That's the part of his plan. 370 00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:12,520 Speaker 1: The only thing he didn't give you was no money. 371 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:15,040 Speaker 1: That's because he had nail money to give you. You 372 00:17:15,119 --> 00:17:17,800 Speaker 1: had all the money to get back. He ended up 373 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:21,440 Speaker 1: billing you for that dinner that he cooked for all 374 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:25,200 Speaker 1: that donal dingling he'd been dropping off, and them good drinks. 375 00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:28,160 Speaker 1: That's your bill. Now you got a goddamn bill, eighteen 376 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:30,200 Speaker 1: hundred dollars. You need to help them pay his rent. 377 00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:33,800 Speaker 1: And this is how niggas think. You have two jobs, 378 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:37,200 Speaker 1: two kids, and a house that you're putting back together. 379 00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:39,480 Speaker 2: So that shit must have got blown down by the 380 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:40,120 Speaker 2: last nigga. 381 00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:42,720 Speaker 1: Here come another nigga trying to blow down his house. 382 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:46,080 Speaker 1: You're gonna let them or what you're gonna do. You're 383 00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:48,920 Speaker 1: gonna dust off your cape and save your goddamn self. 384 00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:53,600 Speaker 1: Don't keep saving these niggas, bitch, not saying you. I'm 385 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:55,240 Speaker 1: just speaking into the universe. 386 00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:57,800 Speaker 2: Stop saving these niggas bitches. 387 00:17:58,359 --> 00:18:00,439 Speaker 1: That's what I need for y'all to, you know, and 388 00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:02,120 Speaker 1: that can be all nice and wholesome with you. 389 00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:04,200 Speaker 2: Stop saving these guys ladies. 390 00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:07,359 Speaker 1: But y'all don't understand when somebody talked to y'all like that, 391 00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:10,399 Speaker 1: because that's side you fucking almost ended up paying an 392 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:13,440 Speaker 1: eighteen hundred dollars rent that wasn't mean yours while try 393 00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:16,240 Speaker 1: to put your house back together. So yeah, I'm yelling 394 00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:18,080 Speaker 1: at you because I ain't mad at this nigga. I'm 395 00:18:18,119 --> 00:18:21,359 Speaker 1: mad at you because something tells me that if you 396 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:24,560 Speaker 1: still asking for advice, that you're still fucking. 397 00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:25,040 Speaker 2: With this nigga here. 398 00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:28,879 Speaker 1: And then after that little three weeks and you probably 399 00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:31,840 Speaker 1: didn't pay eighteen hundred, but you probably gave him eight hundred. 400 00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:33,640 Speaker 2: Toward the eighteen. I don't know. 401 00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:36,080 Speaker 1: You need to tell me if I'm right, because you 402 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:39,240 Speaker 1: talking to me now, you're talking to me or don't 403 00:18:39,359 --> 00:18:42,280 Speaker 1: don't bullshit me. You didnet did something to help this nigga, 404 00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:45,800 Speaker 1: all right, you did something, and that's probably why you 405 00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:49,399 Speaker 1: feel disrespected. And it's only been three weeks and you 406 00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:53,800 Speaker 1: upset because you caught feelings because you know, no, you 407 00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:56,720 Speaker 1: didn't help this nigga. You help them, And it don't 408 00:18:56,760 --> 00:19:00,639 Speaker 1: look like he made a change or he going do 409 00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:03,720 Speaker 1: anything to pay you back. It don't look it, don't 410 00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:06,400 Speaker 1: It don't look too good. You either let her move 411 00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:10,159 Speaker 1: in at goddamn house. It's something something you ain't telling me. 412 00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:12,120 Speaker 2: Now. You're gonna have to come back and tell. 413 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:14,679 Speaker 1: Me because I know you, because I was you before, 414 00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:18,320 Speaker 1: and I don't want you to be how I was 415 00:19:18,359 --> 00:19:21,199 Speaker 1: any longer. So I'm gonna need you to tell me 416 00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:24,399 Speaker 1: what I'm missing out of here, what you failed to 417 00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:24,800 Speaker 1: tell me. 418 00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:26,679 Speaker 2: You to help this nigga out, and you need to 419 00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:27,640 Speaker 2: stop for you end. 420 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,840 Speaker 1: Up like the girl from the first story who ended 421 00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:32,960 Speaker 1: up pregnant and had a baby by a nigga who 422 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,480 Speaker 1: she had to take care of. So now she got 423 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:38,760 Speaker 1: two damn kids, the baby and the father. That's not 424 00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:40,040 Speaker 1: where you want to end You want to end up 425 00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:42,000 Speaker 1: in the gutter. You don't want to end up in 426 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:47,880 Speaker 1: the gutter with a baby, but sometimes that happens, and 427 00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:52,200 Speaker 1: I'll continue to pray for you if you end up there, 428 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:54,920 Speaker 1: because my sister's looking at me like this. You being 429 00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:57,640 Speaker 1: too hard on it, all right, So I don't want 430 00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:00,119 Speaker 1: to be too hard. I'm gonna pray for you and 431 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,520 Speaker 1: I love you. But I know you're lying to me 432 00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:05,639 Speaker 1: about something, something you're holding back. So you tell me 433 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:10,480 Speaker 1: every thing, tell me, and just like that, we've come 434 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:13,879 Speaker 1: to the end of another carefully rekflast with your girl. Justesselarius, 435 00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:16,200 Speaker 1: fix and mess the way. I'll be fixing it each 436 00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:20,120 Speaker 1: and every Wednesday. Make sure you catch me on iHeart Spotify, 437 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:24,879 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, anywhere you can catch a podcast at you 438 00:20:24,880 --> 00:21:40,640 Speaker 1: can catch mine, and in my deepest Pam Voice Can't 439 00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:43,520 Speaker 1: Fully Reckless is a production of iHeart Radio and The 440 00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:48,040 Speaker 1: Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, 441 00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:51,439 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.