WEBVTT - Hyman Kaplan (A Live Reading) 0:00:15.250 --> 0:00:15.770 Pushkin. 0:00:22.210 --> 0:00:26.130 Back in September, I participated in a fundraiser for Rock Mahomes, 0:00:26.530 --> 0:00:30.050 an organization that provides care for people living with memory loss. 0:00:30.750 --> 0:00:33.620 The event took place in Minneapolis, which is where I live. 0:00:34.280 --> 0:00:37.180 It was a warm, lively night at a brewery near 0:00:37.200 --> 0:00:41.300 the train tracks. The theme of the evening was Things 0:00:41.340 --> 0:00:44.330 That Remain. I chose to tell a story I wrote 0:00:44.390 --> 0:00:47.430 for the New York Times back in 2001 about a 0:00:47.450 --> 0:00:51.319 93-year-old man who, in spite of his age, never stopped 0:00:51.379 --> 0:00:52.179 looking for love. 0:00:52.959 --> 0:00:55.020 And that's all coming up after the break. 0:01:15.480 --> 0:01:18.120 Jonathan Goldstein is the creator and host of the highly 0:01:18.160 --> 0:01:22.780 acclaimed Heavyweight podcast. Heavyweight just entered into its tenth season. 0:01:23.700 --> 0:01:27.840 Jonathan's probing and meddling inevitably produce beautiful and hilarious and 0:01:27.970 --> 0:01:31.810 uncanny results. He clearly also has an intimate sense for 0:01:31.830 --> 0:01:34.570 the power of story, especially as it relates to our 0:01:34.610 --> 0:01:35.430 themes here tonight. 0:01:39.950 --> 0:01:40.250 Thank you. 0:01:41.710 --> 0:01:45.230 So about 25 years ago, the New York Times magazine 0:01:45.270 --> 0:01:47.870 sent me to Florida to report on a man who 0:01:47.910 --> 0:01:51.590 had come to be known as the retirement home Casanova. 0:01:52.690 --> 0:01:55.220 Word was that although he was in his early 90s, 0:01:55.490 --> 0:01:58.330 Hyman Kaplan was dating about a dozen women at once. 0:01:59.530 --> 0:02:01.490 But when I got to the old age community. 0:02:01.130 --> 0:02:04.090 Where he lived, a place called Forest Trace, I learned 0:02:04.110 --> 0:02:06.570 that the story I was sent to cover didn't really 0:02:06.650 --> 0:02:10.230 exist or not in the way everyone thought it did. 0:02:11.549 --> 0:02:14.510 Here's the actual story, the record, of what I did 0:02:14.570 --> 0:02:19.880 find in my search for the oldest living Lothario. Forest 0:02:19.920 --> 0:02:23.620 Trace is a retirement community just outside of Fort Lauderdale. 0:02:24.460 --> 0:02:27.960 Every Saturday at 2, the staff clears aside the tables 0:02:28.020 --> 0:02:31.140 and chairs in the foyer to create a circle for 0:02:31.180 --> 0:02:34.150 the women and men to dance. Though when I say 0:02:34.180 --> 0:02:37.190 the women and men, I mainly mean the women and 0:02:37.230 --> 0:02:41.630 Hyman Kaplan. Kaplan is 93, and right now he is 0:02:41.690 --> 0:02:44.150 twirling a woman named Thelma in the middle of a 0:02:44.210 --> 0:02:48.470 circle of two dozen watchful women in wicker chairs. The 0:02:48.510 --> 0:02:52.330 couple dances among tall white pillars as sunlight streams in 0:02:52.450 --> 0:02:54.150 through the skylight high above. 0:02:55.350 --> 0:02:56.350 This is how it works. 0:02:56.840 --> 0:02:59.880 Kaplan escorts each partner to the center of the circle, 0:03:00.040 --> 0:03:04.980 where depending on the song and Kaplan's mood, they will foxtrot, waltz, tango, 0:03:05.140 --> 0:03:09.380 or even merengue. As the afternoon wears on, Kaplan's white 0:03:09.440 --> 0:03:13.320 leather loafers bounce gracefully about the carpet, and no matter 0:03:13.380 --> 0:03:16.380 how good or bad his partner, he always demonstrates a 0:03:16.380 --> 0:03:20.030 little showmanship, throwing in a Westchester step here and there, 0:03:20.430 --> 0:03:22.990 doing other little fancy things with his feet that I. 0:03:23.010 --> 0:03:24.170 Don't know the name for. 0:03:25.010 --> 0:03:27.430 When the song is over, he extends his arms to 0:03:27.470 --> 0:03:30.620 the next woman down the line, who will always graciously 0:03:30.700 --> 0:03:34.600 accept them. There's something in Kaplan's manner that makes it 0:03:34.640 --> 0:03:36.790 seem as if he has a job to do, as 0:03:36.850 --> 0:03:39.530 if he's unloading a truck of women in boxes who 0:03:39.550 --> 0:03:42.480 he must dance with, one at a time, before the 0:03:42.520 --> 0:03:47.080 quitting whistle blows. I ask the woman seated in front 0:03:47.120 --> 0:03:50.340 of me if Kaplan is the best dancer here. Well, 0:03:50.400 --> 0:03:55.340 she says, he doesn't have much competition. There are more 0:03:55.380 --> 0:03:58.220 than twice as many women as men at Forest Trace. 0:03:58.700 --> 0:04:00.990 All a man has to do is stay alive, and 0:04:01.030 --> 0:04:04.500 he's guaranteed a full dance card. A couple of these 0:04:04.560 --> 0:04:06.950 men sit with the women, watching with a sort of 0:04:07.030 --> 0:04:12.010 aristocratic indifference as Kaplan dances. Simply because they are men, 0:04:12.070 --> 0:04:15.450 they have their choice of women, but even the casual 0:04:15.530 --> 0:04:18.470 observer can see that they are a bunch of sleepy, 0:04:18.550 --> 0:04:24.770 yellow-pantsed patsies and practical, walking-shoed Ralphs, while around here, Hyman 0:04:24.789 --> 0:04:30.150 Kaplan is the Fonz. Forest Trace is all about leisure, 0:04:30.210 --> 0:04:33.210 and as such, a kind of court-like behavior has emerged 0:04:33.739 --> 0:04:37.130 full of intrigues and legends and gossip. It's the kind 0:04:37.169 --> 0:04:39.369 of thing you think you'll only live through once in 0:04:39.429 --> 0:04:43.430 high school. It's like Peyton Place here, says B.U. Tall, 0:04:43.710 --> 0:04:47.719 who was sitting in the foyer. There are so many affairs. U. 0:04:47.750 --> 0:04:49.789 Tall tells me the story of how a forest trace 0:04:49.849 --> 0:04:52.919 couple in their 90s were found naked in bed together. 0:04:53.539 --> 0:04:56.400 It seems that one of them, during the throes of passion, 0:04:56.640 --> 0:05:01.739 accidentally pulled the emergency cord above the bed. Yutal is 0:05:01.779 --> 0:05:04.979 sitting with her boyfriend, Sam Schulman. They met a couple 0:05:05.020 --> 0:05:07.940 years ago at Forest Trace. When I ask him about 0:05:07.960 --> 0:05:12.059 their relationship, he explains it this way. When my wife died, 0:05:12.159 --> 0:05:15.359 the light went out, says Schulman. Every morning when I'd 0:05:15.400 --> 0:05:18.409 wake up, I'd feel an emptiness in my stomach. Thank 0:05:18.450 --> 0:05:22.150 God I met Bea. First he asked me out for breakfast, 0:05:22.390 --> 0:05:26.129 says Yutal. Then breakfast turned into lunch, and then lunch 0:05:26.229 --> 0:05:29.520 turned into dinner. At this point in our lives, we 0:05:29.560 --> 0:05:32.989 don't try to impress, says Shulman. We don't talk about money. 0:05:33.130 --> 0:05:35.909 We don't talk about our backgrounds. We want the present. 0:05:36.669 --> 0:05:40.710 A person who's past all that understands. Shulman looks at 0:05:40.750 --> 0:05:43.490 me as if he knows that I can't possibly understand. 0:05:44.029 --> 0:05:47.670 It's a tender, forgiving look. He asks me how old 0:05:47.750 --> 0:05:51.550 I am, and I say I'm 31. He congratulates me, 0:05:51.589 --> 0:05:53.849 and I ask him what he's congratulating me for. 0:05:53.869 --> 0:05:55.310 For being 31, he says. 0:05:57.900 --> 0:06:01.140 Hyman Kaplan wears his age like a man 30 years younger, 0:06:01.260 --> 0:06:04.039 hamming it up in old face. By this I mean 0:06:04.080 --> 0:06:06.779 he's a little stooped and his steps are a bit deliberate, 0:06:07.099 --> 0:06:09.979 but his age hangs off him like a kind of performance, 0:06:10.219 --> 0:06:13.300 like a teenager playing Willie Loman in a high school play. 0:06:14.200 --> 0:06:17.400 Kaplan taught phys ed for 41 years in New York City. 0:06:17.969 --> 0:06:20.589 His first wife of 39 years was killed in an 0:06:20.690 --> 0:06:25.890 automobile accident in 1969. He married again in 1970, and 0:06:25.950 --> 0:06:29.479 two years later, he and his wife moved to Fort Lauderdale. Then, 0:06:29.560 --> 0:06:34.439 after 18 years, she died of pancreatic cancer. In 1996, 0:06:34.440 --> 0:06:36.719 he gave his condo to his daughters and moved to 0:06:36.760 --> 0:06:40.779 Forest Trace. He takes me into the recreation room beside 0:06:40.799 --> 0:06:43.699 the lobby, where we can sit and talk. At the 0:06:43.739 --> 0:06:47.130 table beside ours, some women are playing cards. They wave 0:06:47.150 --> 0:06:50.550 to Kaplan, and he flashes them a smile. We missed you, 0:06:50.609 --> 0:06:53.700 says one of them. Kaplan has just gotten back from 0:06:53.719 --> 0:06:55.979 a month-long holiday visiting family. 0:06:56.779 --> 0:06:58.999 You see how they feel about me here, he asks. 0:06:59.960 --> 0:07:02.440 When he turns his head to look over at another table, 0:07:02.539 --> 0:07:04.919 I point out a smudge of orange lipstick on the 0:07:04.940 --> 0:07:07.460 tip of his ear. One of the women I was 0:07:07.500 --> 0:07:10.800 dancing with is a kisser, he says, wiping off the stain. 0:07:12.540 --> 0:07:14.590 When I ask him if he ever thought that one 0:07:14.630 --> 0:07:17.369 day he'd be kissing women in their 80s, he says, 0:07:17.390 --> 0:07:22.070 no way. But kissing has now become something vastly important 0:07:22.100 --> 0:07:24.330 to him. He even says that he can tell which 0:07:24.390 --> 0:07:26.570 women are kissers by the way they dance with him. 0:07:27.030 --> 0:07:28.689 He says that kissing keeps him young. 0:07:29.550 --> 0:07:32.510 I don't lack for women, he says, but at my 0:07:32.590 --> 0:07:35.390 age you can't really have sex. Try as you might, 0:07:35.429 --> 0:07:38.470 it doesn't work so easily. I ask him if that 0:07:38.530 --> 0:07:40.679 ever makes him angry, and he says that of course 0:07:40.739 --> 0:07:42.700 it does, but that you learn to accept it as 0:07:42.739 --> 0:07:45.450 a new stage in your life. I've tried a lot 0:07:45.470 --> 0:07:48.230 of different things, he says. Viagra and a lot of 0:07:48.310 --> 0:07:51.309 other pills are supposed to make you virile, but forget 0:07:51.390 --> 0:07:51.840 about it. 0:07:52.210 --> 0:07:53.150 It doesn't happen. 0:07:54.090 --> 0:07:57.470 Viagra may have disappeared as the standard punchline of late 0:07:57.510 --> 0:08:01.490 night talk show monologues, but at Forest Trace, Viagra jokes 0:08:01.530 --> 0:08:04.760 still go over big. At one point in my visit, 0:08:04.790 --> 0:08:07.760 I find myself sitting in on a round of Outburst, 0:08:08.119 --> 0:08:11.460 a game in which the activities director asks questions to 0:08:11.500 --> 0:08:14.300 a table full of residents, who are then prompted to 0:08:14.340 --> 0:08:18.390 shout out their answers. The question, what's something you find 0:08:18.429 --> 0:08:23.309 in a purse, provokes the answer, Viagra, as does the question, 0:08:23.489 --> 0:08:26.270 what's something you find in a bathroom, as well as 0:08:26.350 --> 0:08:30.790 what's something you find in a briefcase. Each time it 0:08:30.840 --> 0:08:34.900 has the whole table in stitches. To me, says Kaplan, 0:08:35.020 --> 0:08:38.220 senior sex is hugging and kissing, maybe a little petting 0:08:38.280 --> 0:08:41.930 now and then, soul-kissing. I used to never kiss like that. 0:08:41.950 --> 0:08:44.800 It just wasn't done in those days. Tongues in each 0:08:44.840 --> 0:08:48.440 other's mouths. Some women are scared off by that, but 0:08:48.460 --> 0:08:50.380 they shouldn't be afraid of a kiss and a hug. 0:08:50.700 --> 0:08:53.660 It makes you feel good. Kaplan takes me to the 0:08:53.740 --> 0:08:57.360 exercise room where he works out regularly. We're the only 0:08:57.500 --> 0:09:00.290 ones in here. He turns to the window that faces 0:09:00.350 --> 0:09:03.910 the pool. There's a woman sitting poolside reading a newspaper 0:09:03.970 --> 0:09:08.330 by herself. She's a very lonely person, Kaplan says, staring 0:09:08.370 --> 0:09:10.990 at her through the window. There's plenty of people here, 0:09:11.060 --> 0:09:15.559 but she's sitting alone. That's a sign. Kaplan watches her 0:09:15.620 --> 0:09:18.320 for a while and then says, let's go and say hi. 0:09:19.280 --> 0:09:21.260 When we approach her, she puts down the New York 0:09:21.300 --> 0:09:24.410 Times and looks up at us. She and Kaplan chat 0:09:24.450 --> 0:09:26.870 a bit, and when we walk away, he tells me 0:09:26.910 --> 0:09:29.690 that she likes him. I ask him how he can tell, 0:09:29.770 --> 0:09:32.730 and he says he just can. I don't like to brag, 0:09:32.770 --> 0:09:36.929 he says, but I'm a catch. I ask him if 0:09:36.970 --> 0:09:38.990 he ever dances with her, and he says that she 0:09:39.030 --> 0:09:42.450 doesn't dance. It dawns on me that that's the kind 0:09:42.470 --> 0:09:44.970 of older woman I'm going to like, the kind that 0:09:45.030 --> 0:09:47.840 reads the paper fully dressed by herself at the edge 0:09:47.870 --> 0:09:50.920 of the water, a woman who keeps Kleenex under her 0:09:50.980 --> 0:09:56.199 watch strap for me, just in case. Kaplan and I 0:09:56.240 --> 0:09:58.480 make plans to meet at the dining hall for dinner 0:09:58.540 --> 0:10:01.760 at 5.30. He shows up looking sharp in a white 0:10:01.820 --> 0:10:05.730 blazer and white pants. The residents park their walkers outside 0:10:05.770 --> 0:10:09.210 the hall door. During dinner, Kaplan points out women at 0:10:09.270 --> 0:10:12.050 other tables. He tells me who is warm and who 0:10:12.130 --> 0:10:14.890 is guarded, who is more physical and who just likes 0:10:14.950 --> 0:10:18.810 to talk. He motions to a woman sitting two tables over. 0:10:19.430 --> 0:10:22.210 She's good looking, he says, but she's losing her memory. 0:10:22.730 --> 0:10:25.790 That happened to my first girlfriend here, Mildred. But she 0:10:25.830 --> 0:10:26.790 always remembered me. 0:10:27.390 --> 0:10:27.940 She loved me. 0:10:29.130 --> 0:10:31.870 Kaplan says that Mildred, who died three months ago, loved 0:10:31.910 --> 0:10:34.110 him so much that when she went by his car 0:10:34.170 --> 0:10:36.930 in the parking lot, she would kiss it. Even when 0:10:36.970 --> 0:10:39.510 she was finally in a wheelchair, her face would glow 0:10:39.570 --> 0:10:42.460 when she'd see me, he says. I'd pull her out 0:10:42.490 --> 0:10:44.760 of her wheelchair and hold her up to dance with me. 0:10:45.820 --> 0:10:48.480 It's after the meal while we're eating our sugar-free cheese 0:10:48.520 --> 0:10:52.560 danish that Kaplan leans over from across the table. He 0:10:52.580 --> 0:10:55.800 keeps looking behind me anxiously, his eyes darting all over 0:10:55.840 --> 0:10:56.300 the place. 0:10:56.840 --> 0:10:58.120 Finally, he wipes. 0:10:57.900 --> 0:11:00.490 His mouth and lets the napkin fall to the table. 0:11:01.510 --> 0:11:09.350 Over your shoulder, he says, that's her. Who that her 0:11:09.930 --> 0:11:11.600 is after the break. 0:11:28.730 --> 0:11:31.370 Over your shoulder, he says, that's her. 0:11:32.750 --> 0:11:35.690 Kaplan has been talking about this woman all day. Her 0:11:35.730 --> 0:11:38.770 name pops up as his favorite dance partner. She's the 0:11:38.910 --> 0:11:42.420 only woman here whom he's introduced to his family. Each 0:11:42.480 --> 0:11:46.340 time he invokes her name, Kaplan becomes uncharacteristically quiet and 0:11:46.400 --> 0:11:50.880 reticent for a few moments afterwards. They first started dating 0:11:50.920 --> 0:11:53.440 about a year ago when she arrived at Forest Trace. 0:11:53.980 --> 0:11:56.050 She broke up with him about two months ago, and 0:11:56.150 --> 0:11:58.670 everyone at the home was surprised. They were sort of 0:11:58.710 --> 0:12:02.410 like the royal couple of Forest Trace. Kaplan is vague 0:12:02.450 --> 0:12:04.930 about the reasons for their breakup, something to do with 0:12:04.970 --> 0:12:07.429 the birthday card that she didn't think was big enough, 0:12:07.930 --> 0:12:11.330 something about his manner being too outward. He slaps everyone 0:12:11.350 --> 0:12:14.250 that he meets on the back, he explains. And she's 0:12:14.290 --> 0:12:17.429 so proper. He says he'd still love to get back 0:12:17.470 --> 0:12:21.100 together with her, but she's just not interested. I casually 0:12:21.140 --> 0:12:23.300 turn around to try and see her, but she's already 0:12:23.340 --> 0:12:26.200 getting up to leave. You have to see her face, 0:12:26.320 --> 0:12:29.490 he says excitedly. and she's always dressed to the hilt. 0:12:30.270 --> 0:12:32.990 From behind, I can see her silver-gray hair pulled up 0:12:33.060 --> 0:12:36.300 into a big, regal bun. His eyes follow her as 0:12:36.340 --> 0:12:39.600 she winds her way through the tables. I still love her, 0:12:39.640 --> 0:12:42.500 he says. Whenever I see her, I get a tits 0:12:42.540 --> 0:12:43.120 and hearts in. 0:12:43.640 --> 0:12:45.580 You know what that means? It means I get a 0:12:45.600 --> 0:12:46.400 tug at the heart. 0:12:47.760 --> 0:12:50.160 After we've eaten, Kaplan and I head over to the 0:12:50.200 --> 0:12:54.440 clubhouse next door for the evening's entertainment, a musical duo 0:12:54.500 --> 0:12:58.280 called Poppy. When everyone in the hall is finally seated, 0:12:58.300 --> 0:13:01.960 a middle-aged man takes the stage wearing sunglasses and carrying 0:13:01.980 --> 0:13:05.280 an electric guitar. He's joined by a woman in her 0:13:05.340 --> 0:13:08.780 40s wearing a glittery purple dress who stands behind her keyboard. 0:13:09.400 --> 0:13:13.110 They stare ahead stoically, bathed in a soft theatrical light. 0:13:14.210 --> 0:13:16.930 They're about to start playing when half the audience starts 0:13:16.970 --> 0:13:20.970 shouting for more light. The activities assistant turns on the 0:13:21.010 --> 0:13:24.150 fluorescent lights above the stage to a smattering of applause. 0:13:24.980 --> 0:13:28.340 The woman in purple looks unhappy about this. The lights 0:13:28.400 --> 0:13:30.620 make her and the man in the sunglasses look as 0:13:30.700 --> 0:13:33.880 if they're performing in the frozen goods aisle of a 7-Eleven. 0:13:33.900 --> 0:13:38.620 The most important thing to us is you, says the man, 0:13:38.980 --> 0:13:42.410 but do you really want those fluorescent lights on? The 0:13:42.470 --> 0:13:45.970 question is answered with thunderous applause. It will prove to 0:13:46.010 --> 0:13:51.310 be Poppy's biggest ovation of the evening. They start off with, 0:13:51.410 --> 0:13:54.130 when the red, red robin comes bob, bob, bobbing along. 0:13:54.730 --> 0:13:57.710 after which they launch into a full-on polka medley featuring 0:13:57.770 --> 0:14:01.680 Roll Out the Barrel. Poppy performs in 22 languages, and 0:14:01.710 --> 0:14:04.080 they announce that tonight they're going to take us on 0:14:04.120 --> 0:14:07.480 a trip around the world. They sing Russian songs, French songs, 0:14:07.580 --> 0:14:11.460 and Yiddish songs. Before they launch into Tarantella, the man 0:14:11.500 --> 0:14:14.800 in sunglasses asks, Are there any Italians here tonight? 0:14:15.500 --> 0:14:16.400 No one answers. 0:14:16.940 --> 0:14:20.200 Kaplan leans in to me and says rather gravely, There 0:14:20.240 --> 0:14:26.240 was one, but he died. After Tarantella, they sing Oci Cernihi, 0:14:26.950 --> 0:14:29.390 and as the opening strains drift down from the stage, 0:14:29.470 --> 0:14:34.410 a pleasurably surprised moan escapes the audience's lips. I imagine 0:14:34.430 --> 0:14:37.750 my friends and myself in a retirement home someday, perhaps 0:14:37.810 --> 0:14:39.490 a place that will look more like a row of 0:14:39.550 --> 0:14:42.470 narrow cots in a furnace room than like Forest Trace. 0:14:43.550 --> 0:14:45.770 We will be listening to a man play Sun in 0:14:45.810 --> 0:14:48.580 an Empty Room on an accordion, and we will feel 0:14:48.620 --> 0:14:52.470 the same pleasurable moan well up in our guts. I 0:14:52.490 --> 0:14:54.500 look over at Kaplan to see how the show is 0:14:54.520 --> 0:14:57.300 going over with him, but he isn't watching the stage. 0:14:58.080 --> 0:14:59.820 I follow his line of vision and see that he 0:14:59.880 --> 0:15:02.240 is staring at a big regal bun of gray a 0:15:02.480 --> 0:15:06.070 half dozen rows in front of us. After the show, 0:15:06.120 --> 0:15:08.430 as we slowly file out of the hall, we run 0:15:08.470 --> 0:15:12.730 into his former love, and Kaplan introduces us. She's a dignified, 0:15:12.770 --> 0:15:16.630 attractive woman in her early 80s, and Kaplan tries hard 0:15:16.670 --> 0:15:20.100 to draw her into a conversation. He talks about the show, 0:15:20.320 --> 0:15:23.370 he talks about music, He even explains about how I'm 0:15:23.410 --> 0:15:26.550 a reporter, but nothing makes much of an impression. 0:15:26.990 --> 0:15:31.210 She smiles politely, but she's distant. She continues to walk 0:15:31.310 --> 0:15:33.110 on ahead, and we fall back. 0:15:33.930 --> 0:15:37.250 Their exchange was awkward in exactly that way that exchanges 0:15:37.340 --> 0:15:40.840 with exes always are, but it's in that especially awkward 0:15:40.880 --> 0:15:43.820 way that occurs between people who've broken up and still 0:15:43.880 --> 0:15:46.520 work or go to school together and have to see 0:15:46.660 --> 0:15:50.920 and deal with each other day in and day out. Then, 0:15:51.260 --> 0:15:54.180 as she passes through the doorway into the night, the 0:15:54.240 --> 0:15:57.220 heel of her shoe catches in the doorframe and she stumbles. 0:15:57.950 --> 0:16:00.950 Kaplan visibly flinches and starts to walk over with his 0:16:01.050 --> 0:16:04.930 arm out. Then he pauses and watches her straighten herself. 0:16:05.630 --> 0:16:08.830 He starts to go over again, but again he stops himself. 0:16:09.730 --> 0:16:12.450 She walks on and we follow behind along the lighted 0:16:12.510 --> 0:16:17.730 pathway back to the main building as Pennsylvania 65,000 wafts through. 0:16:17.550 --> 0:16:18.410 The tropical heat. 0:16:19.710 --> 0:16:22.430 Kaplan stops in at the nurse's office for a nightcap 0:16:22.470 --> 0:16:25.190 of pills and eye drops. From there, we go back 0:16:25.230 --> 0:16:28.010 to his apartment where he gets ready for bed. I'm 0:16:28.050 --> 0:16:30.580 not very happy right now, he says, as he puts 0:16:30.640 --> 0:16:34.400 away his clothes. If there is love at any age, 0:16:34.520 --> 0:16:36.080 then there is also love sickness. 0:16:36.320 --> 0:16:37.320 And pain is pain. 0:16:37.620 --> 0:16:41.440 Rejection is rejection. And by the looks of Hyman Kaplan, 0:16:41.700 --> 0:16:44.020 a man who has the ability to make women rise 0:16:44.060 --> 0:16:46.670 to their feet at the motion of his hand, it 0:16:46.710 --> 0:16:50.280 doesn't get any easier. Being at Forest Trace has made 0:16:50.320 --> 0:16:52.480 me feel as if all of life is a process 0:16:52.540 --> 0:16:56.760 of slowly peeling away the gentle layers of cocoon, the marriages, 0:16:56.880 --> 0:17:00.090 the jobs, the deaths of loved ones, to one day 0:17:00.170 --> 0:17:04.750 reveal the 80-year-old butterfly that lies waiting within, alone, close 0:17:04.790 --> 0:17:07.750 to death, yet still so willing to render the heart 0:17:07.790 --> 0:17:11.810 vulnerable to some new idea of love. What do I 0:17:11.869 --> 0:17:14.759 want with a woman at this stage, says Sam Goldberg, 0:17:14.820 --> 0:17:17.879 a Forest Trace resident in his 80s, who, when I 0:17:18.000 --> 0:17:21.500 ask him about dating, scoffs at the very word. You see, 0:17:21.959 --> 0:17:24.739 Hyman will always tell you he's great, but do you 0:17:24.760 --> 0:17:28.580 know he wears a pacemaker? People who have ailments and 0:17:28.639 --> 0:17:31.129 have to go to doctors don't think about dating. 0:17:31.750 --> 0:17:34.729 Hyman is a rarity. It's true. 0:17:35.330 --> 0:17:38.790 Kaplan's the guy that Forest Trace has in its promotional video, 0:17:38.949 --> 0:17:41.989 riding around on a bicycle, the roper in a way, 0:17:42.459 --> 0:17:44.740 the guy who makes you feel that everything is going 0:17:44.780 --> 0:17:47.800 to be fine. I know that Kaplan is how I'd 0:17:47.850 --> 0:17:51.050 like to see myself one day, a creature of unending 0:17:51.109 --> 0:17:53.869 desire waving from a bicycle for the cameras. 0:17:54.790 --> 0:17:56.090 I can imagine being old. 0:17:56.470 --> 0:17:58.890 I can imagine gazing into the eyes of women who 0:17:58.949 --> 0:18:02.250 look like my grandmother's pinochle friends. And I can even 0:18:02.310 --> 0:18:05.989 imagine being brokenhearted in my 90s. But what I can't 0:18:06.070 --> 0:18:10.529 imagine is laying down the burden of my desire. One day, 0:18:10.550 --> 0:18:14.160 if I'm lucky, I want to be kissing 80-year-old women, too. 0:18:14.949 --> 0:18:18.850 And that might be foolish, as foolish as Hyman Kaplan himself. 0:18:20.550 --> 0:18:23.510 A couple of days later, after I left Forest Trace, 0:18:23.629 --> 0:18:26.830 Kaplan called me on the phone. The day I was leaving, 0:18:26.899 --> 0:18:28.879 he was on his way to see a production of 0:18:29.119 --> 0:18:31.980 I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change at the Miracle 0:18:32.040 --> 0:18:35.220 Theater in Coral Gables. And he just wanted to let 0:18:35.260 --> 0:18:37.580 me know that on the bus ride there, he had 0:18:37.600 --> 0:18:40.499 met a woman. He says she's going to come to 0:18:40.540 --> 0:18:43.740 the home to dance with him. He says she's got 0:18:43.780 --> 0:18:46.440 a lot of fun in her and she isn't afraid 0:18:46.560 --> 0:18:47.320 to get physical. 0:18:48.459 --> 0:18:48.820 Thank you. 0:18:59.389 --> 0:19:08.090 Now that the furniture's returning to its goodwill home, with 0:19:08.149 --> 0:19:14.470 dishes and last week's papers, rumors and elections, Crosswords and 0:19:14.649 --> 0:19:20.290 unending war. The black in our fingers smear their prints 0:19:20.970 --> 0:19:27.430 on every door pulled shut. Now that the last month's 0:19:27.490 --> 0:19:32.909 rent is scheming with the damaged deposit, take this moment 0:19:32.970 --> 0:19:36.149 to decide if we meant it. 0:19:36.550 --> 0:19:37.010 If we tried. 0:19:40.970 --> 0:19:46.270 Are felt around for far too much from things that 0:19:46.399 --> 0:19:56.729 accidentally touch sun in an empty room Son in an empty. 0:19:56.149 --> 0:20:01.100 Room Heavyweight is produced by senior producer Kalila Holt and 0:20:01.159 --> 0:20:05.280 supervising producer Stevie Lane. Today's live show was made possible 0:20:05.320 --> 0:20:09.000 by Leif Johnson and Rockma Holmes. Dan Chouinard performed this 0:20:09.139 --> 0:20:11.669 beautiful rendition of our theme song by The Weaker Thans, 0:20:12.030 --> 0:20:15.029 mixing by Emma Munger with production help from Lisa Wang. 0:20:15.490 --> 0:20:18.649 Special thanks to Sarah Bruguier. We'll be back next week 0:20:18.909 --> 0:20:20.550 with a brand new episode.