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Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome back to another new episode of

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Speaker 1: Couch Talks. My name is Kat and I am your host.

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Speaker 1: And if you are like, wait a second, wrong podcast,

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Speaker 1: I thought I was listening to You Need Therapy, you are.

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Speaker 1: Catch Talks is the bonus episode of You Need Therapy

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Speaker 1: that comes out every single Wednesday, where I answer questions

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Speaker 1: that you guys send in directly to me. And if

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Speaker 1: you have a question that you want to send, you

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Speaker 1: can send it to Catherine k A t h R

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Speaker 1: y N at You Need Therapy podcast dot com and

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Speaker 1: then I will look through those and then maybe one

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Speaker 1: day your question will end up on the show. Now,

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Speaker 1: before we get into it, a little reminder that this

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Speaker 1: is not therapy. This is just a podcast where you

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Speaker 1: get a licensed therapist talking to you about things that

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Speaker 1: have to do with mental health and therapy, and we

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Speaker 1: answer one question a week. Now we'd like to go

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Speaker 1: a little bit more in depth. We used to do

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Speaker 1: to but one question a week, and this week, I

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Speaker 1: want to say before we get into it, um, I

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Speaker 1: just want to preface this. This could be a little

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Speaker 1: triggering for some people if you're not in a space

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Speaker 1: where you're ready to talk about and hear about bodies

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Speaker 1: and them changing. If you're in a eating disorder disorder

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Speaker 1: eating recovery journey process, this might be a little bit

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Speaker 1: triggering for you. So I just want to put that

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Speaker 1: out there. This might be an episode the skip Um,

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Speaker 1: but I thought this question was really important and I

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Speaker 1: really wanted to address it because I don't think this

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Speaker 1: has talked about so much so here to this. Hey cat,

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Speaker 1: So this is something I'm thinking a lot about, the

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Speaker 1: whole losing weight and changing body type process and recovery.

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Speaker 1: Since I've started to spin six months ago, my body

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Speaker 1: has changed so much and I'm having to size down

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Speaker 1: and close. How do we look at this from a

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Speaker 1: body neutrality perspective and not celebrate feeling smaller but actually

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Speaker 1: celebrate being healthy and taking care of our bodies. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so hot, thick, right, So really great question. Obviously, this

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Speaker 1: is something that probably a lot of people think about,

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Speaker 1: but maybe not everybody asks because it almost feels like

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Speaker 1: we're doing something wrong. It's tough because we can't just

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Speaker 1: unthink our thoughts and we can't just change him on

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Speaker 1: a whim. But what you practice and what you pay

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Speaker 1: attention to can and will become very prominent, And what

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Speaker 1: I really mean by that is that we're for focusing

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Speaker 1: on kind behaviors rather than the outcome of those behaviors.

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Speaker 1: We will start caring more about the behavior than the outcome.

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Speaker 1: So that is proven, that is truth right there. Now

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Speaker 1: we're talking about as we're moving into a space of

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Speaker 1: recovery and we're learning how to take care of ourselves.

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Speaker 1: Part of that taking care of ourselves process comes from

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Speaker 1: moving our bodies in gentle, kind ways and also practicing

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Speaker 1: gentle nutrition, which is something that we talked about last

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Speaker 1: week in the podcast with Crystal so offering our bodies

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Speaker 1: really caring, loving things when it comes to food and movement.

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Speaker 1: There are also has other things that we can do

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Speaker 1: in recovery that are very kind that have nothing to

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Speaker 1: do with those things like sleep hygiene and maybe taking

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Speaker 1: the medications we need to take, or spending time with

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Speaker 1: friends and family, doing joyful activities, self care, self maintenance,

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Speaker 1: all of that. But what we're talking about today is

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Speaker 1: like what do I do when like I'm doing these

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Speaker 1: kind things and recovery, I'm doing the work and then

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Speaker 1: my body shifting change and I have this automatic response to,

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Speaker 1: you know, celebrate that my body might be getting smaller

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Speaker 1: and in recovery, what our bodies look like aren't the

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Speaker 1: most important part about us, And that can be a

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Speaker 1: slippery slope because if we really start, like you know,

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Speaker 1: paying attention and giving a lot of power to our body,

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Speaker 1: if it is shifting and trending down, then are we

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Speaker 1: going to let go of some of our kind behaviors

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Speaker 1: and start using old eating disorder behaviors? Again, Yeah, that

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Speaker 1: is a valid fear, valid thought. So, like I said,

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Speaker 1: the cool thing about our brain and our bodies is

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Speaker 1: that what we focus on does become more prominent. We

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Speaker 1: can actually change the way we think. But we can't

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Speaker 1: do it immediately, right, We can't just be like, okay,

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Speaker 1: we're on recovery now now. I think that we do

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Speaker 1: tiptoe around this because when we move into a recovery

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Speaker 1: process sometimes it feels like taboo or wrong or like

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Speaker 1: we're not we're not doing good enough if we care

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Speaker 1: about what we look like. But the truth is sometimes

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Speaker 1: that stuff pops up and we can change our thoughts,

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Speaker 1: but it doesn't happen immediately. As we shift our behaviors,

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Speaker 1: there's this period of time where your brain hasn't fully

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Speaker 1: caught on just yet it's still thinking in the old ways,

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Speaker 1: even though you're acting in the new ways. There's this

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Speaker 1: period that we just kind of have to sit in

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Speaker 1: as we create these new neuropathways. And I don't know

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Speaker 1: if I've recently talked about this, but by repeating new

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Speaker 1: things over and over again, like by doing behaviors over

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Speaker 1: and over new ones, we can actually change our brain chemistry.

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Speaker 1: So I like to explain this as like a river.

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Speaker 1: Like think of a neurow pathway and your brain as

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Speaker 1: a river. So if we're going one way, if we're

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Speaker 1: going to this one river our whole life or even

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Speaker 1: like five years, let's say five years, say we have

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Speaker 1: been in this process of disordered eating, maybe even a

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Speaker 1: full on eating disorder, and we have been behaving in

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Speaker 1: ways to manipulate our weight, and that is why we

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Speaker 1: engage in behaviors, and so we have these behaviors that

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Speaker 1: we do, and then we have these thoughts associated with

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Speaker 1: the behaviors that are all weight focused and maybe even

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Speaker 1: like smaller is better focused very diet culturally. So you

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Speaker 1: have this river and it's been going for five years,

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Speaker 1: it's going to be pretty deep right now. The cool

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Speaker 1: thing about rivers is if you stop giving them water,

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Speaker 1: if you stop flowing water down them, they will dry

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Speaker 1: up and they will become overgrown and the river will

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Speaker 1: go away. So in our recovery process, as we're creating

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Speaker 1: new behaviors attached with new messages, as we start to

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Speaker 1: believe these new messages, start to repeat these new messages,

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Speaker 1: we start surrounding ourselves with new messages associated with these healthy, carrying,

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Speaker 1: kind behaviors. We are creating a new river, and so

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Speaker 1: we're giving more attention to that river, and we're flowing

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Speaker 1: water down that river. And the cool thing about all

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Speaker 1: of this is when you do that, the old one

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Speaker 1: does dry up. So over time we do actually create

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Speaker 1: change in our brain. We actually have the power to

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Speaker 1: do that, but it takes time because at first river

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Speaker 1: was not formed in one day. It was formed over

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Speaker 1: let's say those five years, So it might take some

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Speaker 1: time now to answer this question. Pretty simply to come

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Speaker 1: with this from a body neutrality perspective, what you can

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Speaker 1: do as you are in the process of changing these

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Speaker 1: neurow pathways in your brain is you can celebrate your behaviors,

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Speaker 1: start creating more kind thoughts aligned with what you want

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Speaker 1: to believe, even if you don't fully believe them yet,

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Speaker 1: and then what you can do is continue to celebrate

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Speaker 1: the behaviors and continue to look at your clothes close.

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Speaker 1: So when you look at yourself, instead of saying things

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Speaker 1: like wow, I look smaller, good job, you can say

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Speaker 1: something like, wow, you've been caring for yourself so well

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Speaker 1: and you look brighter. You can complement your body and

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Speaker 1: so so, so, so so many ways that have nothing

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Speaker 1: to do with your looks in your size. So you

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Speaker 1: do that, and then as you continue, that will become

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Speaker 1: the automatic tape that plays in your head. It's just

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Speaker 1: gonna take some time. You're gonna have this automatical like,

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Speaker 1: oh you look smallgo job. Okay, hold on a second. Also, Wow,

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Speaker 1: you've been caring for yourself really well and you just

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Speaker 1: look brighter. That feels way more kind to me. Now,

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Speaker 1: the old Steff will continue to pop up every now

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Speaker 1: and then totally. It will do that, and you're gonna

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Speaker 1: be better equipped to bounce back from those thoughts and

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Speaker 1: do that thing that I just did two seconds ago

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Speaker 1: where I had that thought and then I actually was like,

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Speaker 1: hold on a second, here's this thought. I also would

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Speaker 1: suggest starting a journal where maybe all you write in

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Speaker 1: it are kind words towards yourself, but none of those

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Speaker 1: things can be about your looks. So start a little

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Speaker 1: affirmation book or wall or jar, and just keep a

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Speaker 1: running tab on speaking kindly and gently. Now, another thing

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Speaker 1: that I just like, that I have actually implemented for

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Speaker 1: myself at times when I've needed it, is to just

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Speaker 1: remove tax just like cut them out. So there's this

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Speaker 1: like metaphorical thing that's happening as you do that, where

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Speaker 1: you're just like these pants as just pants. The sizes

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Speaker 1: don't really matter, and so you can your pants be like, oh,

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Speaker 1: there's my black jeans with the holes versus the size

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Speaker 1: six pair or the size tent pair, or the size

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Speaker 1: four pair, the size two pair, or the size fifteen pair,

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Speaker 1: Like you're taking that out and just looking at them

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Speaker 1: for what they are. Oh my black jeans, Oh my joggers,

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Speaker 1: oh my gap dress or whatever. I don't know what

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Speaker 1: I'm even talking about now, but you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: So just calling the the item of clothing as the

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Speaker 1: item of clothing rather than the size, and just taking

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Speaker 1: that power away because we don't really need to know that,

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Speaker 1: we don't really need to focus on that. So awesome question,

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Speaker 1: and I'm glad that we are creating a conversation around

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Speaker 1: it because again, I think it is something that we

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Speaker 1: like don't want to acknowledge as a thing, But you know,

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Speaker 1: I think it's important because if you don't acknowledge something,

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Speaker 1: you can't heal it and you can't change it. And

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Speaker 1: so by acknowledging this, we can say, hey, this is

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Speaker 1: something I've noticed that I've been doing. It might lead

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Speaker 1: me down a dark path. I need to take some

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Speaker 1: control and ownership of it. And so this is something

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna do. I'm gonna start looking at myself and

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Speaker 1: saying kind things that have nothing to do with my appearance.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to affirm myself for continued kind behavior change.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to take the power from my clothing and

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Speaker 1: put the power back in me and how I'm carrying

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Speaker 1: myself when I'm having those feelings and those thoughts, I'm

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Speaker 1: also going to talk about them. So there are safe

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Speaker 1: people in your life own it. Like I say clients

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Speaker 1: all the time, like I can't help you. This goes

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Speaker 1: along with you. If you don't acknowledge, we can't heal it.

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Speaker 1: I can't help you with a behavior. If I don't

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Speaker 1: know if it's happening. So if you're struggling and maybe

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Speaker 1: you're you feel like you're backsliding, or you feel a

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Speaker 1: relapse coming on or something like that, a safe person

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Speaker 1: is not going to offer you shame for engaging the behavior.

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Speaker 1: They're going to offer you support and and help. And

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Speaker 1: we all need help because recovery is not a like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I've decided to do it, so I'm just gonna do it.

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Speaker 1: It's not that easy. We need some accountability sometimes, and

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Speaker 1: so if you are struggling to bring that stuff up,

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Speaker 1: whether it's in therapy or with friends, I would just

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Speaker 1: encourage you, even name Matt, even say like, hey, I've

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Speaker 1: noticed there are some things that like I want to

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Speaker 1: share with you, but I have a lot of shame

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Speaker 1: or I have a lot of fear or have a

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Speaker 1: lot of anger around sharing them. So I just want

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Speaker 1: to talk about that so I can get comfortable and

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Speaker 1: maybe open up and talk to you about what I'm

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Speaker 1: going through because I need some help. So thank you

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Speaker 1: for offering this question. If any of you guys have

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Speaker 1: your own little tips or tricks that you do, or

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Speaker 1: maybe affirmations that you say to help you stay in

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Speaker 1: in the lane you want to stay in, go ahead

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Speaker 1: send them in. You can DM me on Instagram at

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Speaker 1: at cat dot de fata um. You can DM the

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Speaker 1: podcast page at at you Need Therapy Podcast, or you

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Speaker 1: can email me at Catherine at you need Therapy podcast

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Speaker 1: dot com. So, as always, thank you for being here,

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Speaker 1: thank you for listening, thank you for being on the

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Speaker 1: journey with me, and I hope you have the day

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Speaker 1: that you need to have. By guys,