WEBVTT - Turd-Course Meal (with Langston Kerman and David Gborie) 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:02.440 Hey, do you want to see me in Langston live 0:00:02.759 --> 0:00:05.840 in the flesh looking cute. We'll come on out to 0:00:05.880 --> 0:00:08.960 the Allegian Theater where we are doing a live version 0:00:09.119 --> 0:00:11.920 of My mom and told me the first live version 0:00:12.000 --> 0:00:16.560 featuring Langston and myself. Hell yeah, my mama told me 0:00:16.760 --> 0:00:20.919 live David and myself together. We're gonna be doing the 0:00:21.000 --> 0:00:24.919 damn thing at the Allegian Theater February seven thirty pm. 0:00:24.960 --> 0:00:26.520 We would love for you to see it. We're gonna 0:00:26.520 --> 0:00:29.000 have special guests. We're gonna have Q and A. We're 0:00:29.000 --> 0:00:32.879 gonna throw stuff at the audience. Probably it's gonna be Mayhem. 0:00:33.520 --> 0:00:37.200 Lanston is gonna numb chuck. I'm bringing my gosh darn 0:00:37.400 --> 0:00:42.120 numb chucks. So get those tickets www dot Allegian Theater 0:00:42.200 --> 0:00:50.040 dot com. Backslash Shows Backslash My baba told me, Bam, 0:00:50.080 --> 0:00:51.800 I think if I was an address, I think it 0:00:51.840 --> 0:00:55.360 would be a it would be a body positivity piece. Yeah, 0:00:55.480 --> 0:01:01.520 I can see that, like move over, Lizzo, here's a 0:01:01.600 --> 0:01:14.240 new starring child, here's a man doing it now. You 0:01:14.280 --> 0:01:16.399 want to see some butt sheets that need to be 0:01:16.480 --> 0:01:45.600 out David a rhythmic clapping. Yeah, your racist money can't 0:01:45.640 --> 0:01:52.600 tell Me. Welcome, Welcome, Welcome to another brand new episode 0:01:52.600 --> 0:01:57.120 of My Mama Told Me, the podcast where we dive deep, 0:01:57.520 --> 0:02:01.280 deep into the pockets of black conspiracy aries and we 0:02:01.320 --> 0:02:05.360 worked to prove that the k Y and Ky jelly 0:02:05.680 --> 0:02:09.320 does in fact stand for Kentucky and it is a 0:02:09.360 --> 0:02:17.840 proprietary plan invented by slaves. You want our money back. Wait, So, 0:02:17.919 --> 0:02:23.880 if I'm understanding correctly, what an exciting journey we're on it, 0:02:24.360 --> 0:02:28.520 you're saying that these slaves thought to use the chicken 0:02:28.560 --> 0:02:32.280 grease to funk each other. Okay, you said chicken grease. 0:02:32.600 --> 0:02:37.760 Well you said Kentucky. I immediately went to Kentucky Fried Chicken. 0:02:38.080 --> 0:02:41.519 I thought you were making two branches happen at once. No, 0:02:41.680 --> 0:02:44.639 I just meant, I guess I meant that there were 0:02:44.680 --> 0:02:50.799 slaves in Kentucky. Alright, alright, okay, no, but let's let's play. 0:02:50.919 --> 0:02:54.920 Let's play a game. So in theory, there are slaves 0:02:54.919 --> 0:03:00.440 in Kentucky making sex grease, I believe is what it's true. Additionally, 0:03:00.480 --> 0:03:03.400 called they're making this sex grease, and you're saying that 0:03:03.480 --> 0:03:07.400 a slave owner, uh, an evil white, not like you 0:03:07.520 --> 0:03:10.240 good whites who listened to the podcast, whole. You guys 0:03:10.240 --> 0:03:18.960 are the best whites, fine whites, some of my favorite whites. Uh, 0:03:19.160 --> 0:03:22.359 there's just people with with whites for lengthstin the whole 0:03:22.800 --> 0:03:29.040 signs behind me? Where are my whites? Where are my crackers? 0:03:31.760 --> 0:03:35.560 But you're saying that these evil whites stole that formulas, 0:03:35.600 --> 0:03:38.720 stole that sex grease formula, and then and then turned 0:03:38.720 --> 0:03:45.200 it into their own product. Yes, hell yeah, because I mean, 0:03:45.680 --> 0:03:47.520 what's the one place you would want to put chicken 0:03:47.520 --> 0:03:51.800 grease beside your mouth? Come on, it's got it tastes 0:03:51.800 --> 0:03:55.520 good down there a little bit, you know, if I'm 0:03:55.520 --> 0:04:05.480 gonna make it taste worse, it's gotta help. Well. I'm 0:04:05.560 --> 0:04:10.720 Legston Cartman, I'm David Bory And and you've come. You've 0:04:10.800 --> 0:04:14.960 come so far. You've come to a fantastic new episode. 0:04:15.000 --> 0:04:18.839 And and specifically it is an Langston and David episode. 0:04:19.120 --> 0:04:22.720 David and Langston, you you pick your poison. And and 0:04:22.760 --> 0:04:24.960 this is the one where we just talk ship and 0:04:25.480 --> 0:04:28.760 unpack a few emails. Maybe just let's figure out where 0:04:28.800 --> 0:04:30.800 our hearts lie in all of this, let's get to 0:04:30.839 --> 0:04:34.200 the bottom of it. It's January, you know, New Year 0:04:34.240 --> 0:04:39.120 knew me. Yeah, it's goddamn January. Are you are you? 0:04:39.160 --> 0:04:41.839 Are you like a new year? Are you like a 0:04:41.839 --> 0:04:46.280 New Year's resolution person? Uh? Not in a way that 0:04:46.960 --> 0:04:51.920 would create any real accountability, if that makes sense. Yeah, 0:04:51.960 --> 0:04:55.120 it's like I I make some resolutions in my head 0:04:55.160 --> 0:04:57.560 where I'm like, hell, yeah, come on, dog, you can 0:04:57.600 --> 0:05:01.880 get in shape this year. Hey, big man, let's just 0:05:02.080 --> 0:05:05.279 let's just in sugar always forever in your life what 0:05:05.360 --> 0:05:09.920 you need. And the sugar ship is fucking killing me. 0:05:10.360 --> 0:05:13.680 It's really so bad for you sugar. For me, it's 0:05:13.720 --> 0:05:17.440 alcohol where I realized I'm like thirty five, and I'm like, oh, 0:05:17.680 --> 0:05:20.039 nothing new was gonna happen if I get drunk, so 0:05:20.080 --> 0:05:24.440 I should probably get it. Yeah. I think that's why 0:05:24.520 --> 0:05:27.440 we started to like become a thing in my life. 0:05:27.520 --> 0:05:30.599 Was like, damn, these drunk nights are starting to repeat 0:05:30.640 --> 0:05:34.920 themselves in a way that that it's not even joyful anymore. No, 0:05:35.240 --> 0:05:38.479 there's nothing new, and there's nothing new, you just getting 0:05:38.560 --> 0:05:43.159 doored ash late, like yeah, and then you get married 0:05:43.320 --> 0:05:46.960 and and that becomes so much of like a this 0:05:47.040 --> 0:05:50.479 is a guaranteed ending to your night that it's like 0:05:52.120 --> 0:05:54.640 that you can't even go out and get loose because 0:05:54.640 --> 0:05:56.920 it's like you gotta go home, right. I couldn't even 0:05:56.960 --> 0:06:00.640 possibly wake up somewhere I didn't expect like the Truly, 0:06:01.440 --> 0:06:04.160 it is a non factor in my life, and I'm 0:06:04.200 --> 0:06:07.640 grateful to have a person that makes that a non factor. 0:06:07.760 --> 0:06:10.479 This is in no way resentful of my wife. But 0:06:10.680 --> 0:06:14.000 that said, funk, am I doing this for? You? Know 0:06:14.000 --> 0:06:16.520 what I mean? Like you've stolen a joy that I 0:06:16.560 --> 0:06:19.760 can't get back, a joy? Did you like, like waking 0:06:19.839 --> 0:06:22.960 up scared that you got robbed? Maybe? I I think 0:06:23.000 --> 0:06:26.000 there was a joy in the way that it feels 0:06:26.080 --> 0:06:28.440 like going through a haunted house, you know what I mean? 0:06:29.200 --> 0:06:33.920 That's right? Well, yeah, I think, But then you volunteer 0:06:34.000 --> 0:06:37.160 for that fear and you're like, oh yeah, and I 0:06:38.000 --> 0:06:41.440 for this. I guess it's exciting. I'm because I'm single 0:06:41.480 --> 0:06:45.200 as hell. It's I guess it's exciting. Are you still 0:06:45.200 --> 0:06:47.880 waking up places you didn't know? Are you, like, you 0:06:47.920 --> 0:06:50.839 know but single? I've been thinking about it because I 0:06:50.880 --> 0:06:53.240 did a drinking contest last night. I did a drinking 0:06:53.279 --> 0:06:57.800 contest live show, and I haven't really been drinking like 0:06:57.839 --> 0:07:00.880 that for a while. And I woke up today with 0:07:01.000 --> 0:07:03.480 no memory of how the night ended. And I woke 0:07:03.560 --> 0:07:05.640 up and I came, I came into the kitchen, man, 0:07:06.200 --> 0:07:10.640 and there was I fried up spam. Oh no, And 0:07:10.680 --> 0:07:14.080 it's like, from what is this? What? What is this? 0:07:14.160 --> 0:07:16.800 Isn't even that couldn't have been a good time? Yeah, 0:07:16.960 --> 0:07:18.960 come on, man, that's not even the best thing you 0:07:19.000 --> 0:07:21.560 could have fried and not even I have a fridge 0:07:21.600 --> 0:07:27.400 food and food. I have leafy greens in there. I 0:07:28.240 --> 0:07:31.080 don't even know where I got the spam. That's crazy. 0:07:31.200 --> 0:07:37.440 So you didn't just have spam on hand, I assume must. Oh, man, 0:07:38.040 --> 0:07:42.760 that's that's haunting in either direction. That's what I'm saying, Like, 0:07:42.880 --> 0:07:45.400 this is a new apartment for you, You don't you 0:07:45.440 --> 0:07:47.720 don't have to have spam no more. I know you 0:07:47.800 --> 0:07:51.040 have a good amount of money. Spam is a choice 0:07:51.080 --> 0:07:54.920 you're making. And then on top of that, if it 0:07:55.120 --> 0:07:57.400 isn't a choice you're making, if you didn't already have 0:07:57.520 --> 0:08:01.520 the spam, you were like, I need fucking spam in 0:08:01.640 --> 0:08:05.040 my blood right now, and then you went and got that. 0:08:05.640 --> 0:08:08.040 Yeah it's I live above a seven eleven, So I 0:08:08.040 --> 0:08:10.840 think that was the last one because I remember coming home. 0:08:12.360 --> 0:08:17.440 And then what I'm saying is you don't want these problems, man, 0:08:19.320 --> 0:08:22.440 I hear you. I hear you, and I I sort 0:08:22.480 --> 0:08:28.360 of believe you, and uh and I couldn't be more 0:08:28.400 --> 0:08:32.240 grateful for what I have and couldn't be more mournful 0:08:32.360 --> 0:08:34.240 for what I've lost, You know what I mean? Like 0:08:34.559 --> 0:08:36.760 I get it. I get because it's always like you know, 0:08:36.880 --> 0:08:40.400 hindsight is right. It looks beautiful in the rear view 0:08:40.720 --> 0:08:44.040 deciding days, waking up? Did I eat spam? Did I not? 0:08:44.559 --> 0:08:48.120 Who's this lady? Hell? Yeah? Come on? Man? The the 0:08:48.160 --> 0:08:51.760 best We all love the finale episode where they start 0:08:51.840 --> 0:08:55.840 playing the recap of the stuff that happened all throughout 0:08:55.840 --> 0:08:58.160 the years. You know what I mean, when you look 0:08:58.200 --> 0:09:00.559 up at the sky and you remember all the things 0:09:00.600 --> 0:09:04.320 that happened in Martin's apartment before he leaves. Come on, 0:09:04.880 --> 0:09:07.640 that's that's the best part of the finale. That was 0:09:07.679 --> 0:09:09.960 the saddest one was that the one where he wrote 0:09:09.960 --> 0:09:13.040 I'll miss you on the wall. I think he wrote 0:09:13.480 --> 0:09:18.800 love or peace and love. It was something like more like, 0:09:19.080 --> 0:09:22.520 uh whatever, but maybe it was I'll miss you. But 0:09:22.600 --> 0:09:24.840 either way, it was definitely he wrote on the wall, 0:09:25.240 --> 0:09:29.079 which I think was improvised. I have to assume was more. 0:09:30.920 --> 0:09:36.199 I don't think Martin was heavily scripted. I'm gonna say, 0:09:36.240 --> 0:09:39.280 I'm going on record right now. I think they had 0:09:39.280 --> 0:09:41.559 the plot points of every episode in the think they 0:09:41.640 --> 0:09:44.280 just kind of like point and shoot. I don't. I 0:09:44.320 --> 0:09:47.120 will say I cannot think of a sitcom where you 0:09:47.160 --> 0:09:53.360 can physically visibly see people breaking more often than Martin. Like, 0:09:53.520 --> 0:09:56.480 nobody was funnier than Martin in address. They could not 0:09:56.679 --> 0:09:59.640 keep it together to save their lives, and they were 0:09:59.760 --> 0:10:03.240 kind instantly fucking laughing at whatever this motherfucker was doing. 0:10:03.240 --> 0:10:08.400 He was so funny, he did everything. Here's where I say, 0:10:08.520 --> 0:10:11.000 I don't think Dave Chappelle would be funny in address 0:10:11.040 --> 0:10:14.880 as funny as Martin. Whoa, I said it. I don't 0:10:14.880 --> 0:10:19.800 think he got I don't whoa. Okay, so you're saying 0:10:19.800 --> 0:10:23.760 that Chappelle denying the dress like being like black Man 0:10:23.840 --> 0:10:26.360 in dressed. This is the evil that they put on us. 0:10:26.800 --> 0:10:30.600 Was less about him like trying to save black Man, 0:10:30.760 --> 0:10:34.120 and more about him basically being like funck. That nigg 0:10:34.160 --> 0:10:36.240 is so much funnier than me and address. I'm gonna 0:10:36.320 --> 0:10:41.640 sabotage the bit entirely. Have you ever seen, professor, This 0:10:41.720 --> 0:10:45.319 is the funniest thing in the world. I truly. I 0:10:45.120 --> 0:10:47.760 I yeah, I mean, but that was Eddie, that wasn't Martin. 0:10:48.280 --> 0:10:51.280 I'm saying, but I'm saying like there's a long line 0:10:51.280 --> 0:10:55.319 of people really that that even in the line of succession, 0:10:55.400 --> 0:10:57.840 Martin is ahead of him. But Martin may not even 0:10:57.880 --> 0:11:03.120 be the master of that that space, right, whereas stand 0:11:03.200 --> 0:11:07.960 up Chappelle has a real chance of outshining both of them, 0:11:08.000 --> 0:11:10.280 all of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's better at 0:11:10.320 --> 0:11:15.520 writing jokes for sure. We're talking about just like nitty 0:11:15.559 --> 0:11:20.080 gritty getting to address maker happen bro I saw. I 0:11:20.120 --> 0:11:23.720 saw the Nutty Professor in a movie theater in Atlanta, 0:11:24.120 --> 0:11:30.000 and it was like, I've never seen anything that happened 0:11:30.040 --> 0:11:34.000 like that in my life. Sure because you you remember 0:11:34.040 --> 0:11:37.280 the movie, but you don't remember the first time at 0:11:37.320 --> 0:11:40.240 the table with a movie theater full of black people, 0:11:41.000 --> 0:11:48.560 people were throwing like drinks at Yeah, it was you 0:11:48.760 --> 0:11:52.680 literally went to Mecca to pray. You know what I mean? 0:11:52.720 --> 0:11:55.720 Like that is it was nobody's ever killed his heart. 0:11:55.920 --> 0:11:58.719 I love Dave Chappelle, He's never done anything as funny 0:11:58.960 --> 0:12:02.800 as Eddie Murphy did in that movie theater. Listen, I'm 0:12:02.800 --> 0:12:05.720 not I don't disagree with this premise at all. I 0:12:05.800 --> 0:12:09.160 don't the to me that when David was at his 0:12:09.280 --> 0:12:12.240 funniest as certainly as an actor, and we might be 0:12:12.280 --> 0:12:14.960 able to debate even as a stand up, was when 0:12:14.960 --> 0:12:18.880 he was gangly, sort of like silly Chappelle in his 0:12:19.160 --> 0:12:21.520 youth as as an actor, when he was like more 0:12:21.559 --> 0:12:23.960 of like a you kick me in the dick and 0:12:24.040 --> 0:12:27.640 I fall down Chappelle. And then at some point he 0:12:27.640 --> 0:12:31.840 he elevated beyond being just a get kicked in the 0:12:31.920 --> 0:12:34.560 dick guy and more of like a buff dude and 0:12:34.600 --> 0:12:37.480 then a fat dude, and then whatever is in between 0:12:37.520 --> 0:12:47.520 those two. Yeah, he's a yeah, and he wears the 0:12:47.600 --> 0:12:52.200 long coats to the match the aesthetic. He wears weird clothes. 0:12:52.240 --> 0:12:55.360 But there's a stand up thing. Yeah, I think I 0:12:55.520 --> 0:12:58.280 still respect a stand up who's a bad dresser. So 0:12:58.360 --> 0:13:02.800 I'm not. I'm if you stand up in your bad dresser, 0:13:03.520 --> 0:13:05.440 you work hard at the craft, and I like that, 0:13:06.000 --> 0:13:10.480 keep on, keep on. I'm not a great a dresser. 0:13:10.520 --> 0:13:15.000 I get it, I get it. I'm just saying, yeah, man, 0:13:15.120 --> 0:13:18.080 it's like not you can't just put a suit. You 0:13:18.120 --> 0:13:20.360 can just put a dress on and be funny. There's 0:13:20.400 --> 0:13:23.559 like if I put on a dress. I don't think 0:13:23.559 --> 0:13:27.760 it's that funny. I mean, before you could be you know, 0:13:27.800 --> 0:13:30.200 what I would worry about you in a dress is 0:13:30.240 --> 0:13:33.160 that it would be taken too seriously. That's and that's 0:13:33.200 --> 0:13:35.280 what I'm saying. I don't think it would end up 0:13:35.280 --> 0:13:37.880 being as funny as as I would want it to be. 0:13:38.440 --> 0:13:40.360 Like you and a sun dress would just be like 0:13:40.400 --> 0:13:44.000 a fashion choice. I think somebody would write a think piece. 0:13:45.240 --> 0:13:48.280 I think I would make a whole episode me wearing 0:13:48.280 --> 0:13:51.559 a dress or a show, and then somebody would write 0:13:51.559 --> 0:13:55.320 a think piece about how important that work and effort was. 0:13:56.080 --> 0:13:59.800 And it was a very wearing dress. Yes, like this. 0:14:00.000 --> 0:14:03.760 It is related to the relationship between black and Asian 0:14:03.800 --> 0:14:07.440 people coming together. It's like, bro, I just wanted you 0:14:07.520 --> 0:14:10.000 to see my dick print in a sundress. What are 0:14:10.040 --> 0:14:13.600 you talking about? Yeah, you would be too serious. Your 0:14:13.600 --> 0:14:17.120 body is too serious for dresses. Yeah, that's why. And 0:14:17.160 --> 0:14:21.400 that's that's that's you know across you have to bear. Yeah, No, 0:14:21.560 --> 0:14:24.720 I think I think it's uh, it's everybody ain't funny 0:14:24.760 --> 0:14:27.800 and addressed to your point? And so I think Chappelle 0:14:27.880 --> 0:14:30.680 in address wasn't it They could really do it? And 0:14:30.760 --> 0:14:34.080 I do think to the grander conspiracy. I don't like 0:14:34.160 --> 0:14:37.200 the way Chappelle tanked that for for some motherfucker's that 0:14:37.240 --> 0:14:41.680 could really shine in dresses. Some of the greatest comedy 0:14:41.720 --> 0:14:45.520 ever has been done addresses. Yeah, man, we we really 0:14:45.560 --> 0:14:48.560 fell in love with comedy because of nikeds in dresses. 0:14:49.680 --> 0:14:54.920 And then this old, old, fucking why why is motherfucker 0:14:55.080 --> 0:14:57.600 was like, I wonder if that's because of racist and 0:14:57.680 --> 0:15:04.400 it's like, of course it is, David, Yeah, funny. You 0:15:04.440 --> 0:15:10.400 should read the things I text my mom. All of 0:15:10.440 --> 0:15:12.960 it's because of racism, But what parts of it are 0:15:13.000 --> 0:15:15.560 funny and not funny? Let's you this is the core 0:15:15.640 --> 0:15:18.320 of it. That's all I care about. Put that dress on. 0:15:18.640 --> 0:15:23.400 But there's a young comedian listen to this and put 0:15:23.440 --> 0:15:30.480 that dress. Slip on that red dress and some hi 0:15:30.920 --> 0:15:36.680 he do it. For those of us who can't, come on, man, 0:15:37.920 --> 0:15:40.720 hashtag put that dress on. Put that hashtag. Put that 0:15:40.800 --> 0:15:44.720 dress on. So blow up, right, This will turn into 0:15:45.320 --> 0:15:48.360 some sort of challenge getting put that dress on. Put 0:15:48.360 --> 0:15:51.000 that dress on. Challenge brought to you by my mama 0:15:51.040 --> 0:15:54.760 told me. We we challenge you to be to be 0:15:54.840 --> 0:15:59.560 a pioneer in and uh in black retraction and put 0:15:59.600 --> 0:16:05.040 that dress on, that dress on you, beautiful man, only 0:16:05.080 --> 0:16:08.080 if it's funny. Only if it's funny, or if that's 0:16:08.080 --> 0:16:10.160 who you are. It doesn't matter. We're truly not going 0:16:10.200 --> 0:16:13.280 to decide. But for the funny people, put that dress on. 0:16:13.680 --> 0:16:18.160 No buck, dudes, you gotta be soft, buff man, big 0:16:18.160 --> 0:16:34.720 old muscles popping up the Dressy's gonna focus. Should we 0:16:34.800 --> 0:16:37.080 should we do an email? Just? Oh yeah, let's do 0:16:37.120 --> 0:16:39.280 an email. I got, I got, I got lost in 0:16:39.360 --> 0:16:43.960 the dress of it all. We we before we started, 0:16:44.040 --> 0:16:47.480 we were we were debating which email to take on. 0:16:47.560 --> 0:16:49.760 And we have a number. We've been getting a funk 0:16:49.800 --> 0:16:52.520 ton of emails from you guys, and they've they've been amazing, 0:16:52.520 --> 0:16:55.440 and we're super grateful for him. So please continue to 0:16:55.440 --> 0:16:58.160 send your messages. They are not going unnoticed, even if 0:16:58.200 --> 0:17:00.000 it takes a little while for us to get back 0:17:00.080 --> 0:17:02.840 to you. But we got an email from a person 0:17:02.920 --> 0:17:06.840 named Carly. Carly sent us an email that I would 0:17:06.920 --> 0:17:13.080 argue bordering on smut. I would say that certainly the 0:17:13.080 --> 0:17:17.960 the subject line of this of this conspiracy theory I 0:17:18.240 --> 0:17:24.280 think is is smut ish. If I'm not mistaken, I 0:17:24.320 --> 0:17:27.360 know you do. And so I didn't. I didn't want 0:17:27.359 --> 0:17:29.320 to say it with any judgment, but I didn't want 0:17:29.320 --> 0:17:32.119 to point out we're getting smut here. But but the 0:17:32.280 --> 0:17:39.160 subject of the line is poop in the mouth conspiracy theory, 0:17:40.040 --> 0:17:41.800 and we all heard that and we were like, yeah, 0:17:41.840 --> 0:17:47.320 we should probably do. Do you have any any guests 0:17:47.440 --> 0:17:50.440 as to what this this relates to? Do you does 0:17:50.520 --> 0:17:55.440 poop in the mouth conspiracy theory trigger anything for you? Not? No, 0:17:55.720 --> 0:18:03.800 there's no conversations I've had or like, no, the Internet. Sure. 0:18:05.680 --> 0:18:08.840 The only thing. The only thing that it immediately triggered 0:18:08.880 --> 0:18:11.960 for me was thinking about like two girls, one cup 0:18:12.680 --> 0:18:17.320 and fake I have no clue. And frankly, I never 0:18:17.440 --> 0:18:20.000 made it far enough into the video to be able 0:18:20.040 --> 0:18:24.280 to like go like, hey, those those poops don't match colors. 0:18:24.320 --> 0:18:28.320 Something ain't right here. Yeah, it looks very real, and 0:18:28.359 --> 0:18:30.960 I I can't I can't go back to whatever that 0:18:31.000 --> 0:18:33.840 was even talking about it now at that time. I 0:18:33.840 --> 0:18:38.840 want to vomit. Yeah, something like that, oh seven oh 0:18:38.840 --> 0:18:41.399 eight something that world we didn't know what to do 0:18:41.440 --> 0:18:44.639 with the Internet yet know. And And frankly, if the 0:18:44.680 --> 0:18:48.720 fact that people didn't shut it down right then tells 0:18:48.760 --> 0:18:52.680 you that they did not have good plans for us. No, No, 0:18:53.440 --> 0:18:55.880 it was unregular. It was the wild Wild Westpact then, 0:18:56.280 --> 0:18:59.240 because like, all right, not for nothing that that's some 0:18:59.359 --> 0:19:03.920 black mark it ship right, Like I don't made it, 0:19:04.560 --> 0:19:07.119 but that's what I'm saying. I think, like for a 0:19:07.160 --> 0:19:10.080 while in the world that we understood, in the Windows 0:19:10.960 --> 0:19:14.880 world that we lived in, the presumption was that if 0:19:14.920 --> 0:19:17.480 you wanted to see two girls each ship out of 0:19:17.480 --> 0:19:20.320 a cub you paid you you had to go to 0:19:20.440 --> 0:19:26.719 like a black market dark web space. And then at 0:19:27.359 --> 0:19:31.560 at some point around two thousand and seven, the black 0:19:31.600 --> 0:19:36.160 market became the regular ass Internet where they were just 0:19:36.240 --> 0:19:39.080 like fuck it released the you know what I mean, 0:19:39.160 --> 0:19:43.359 the archives, and then we just started going on YouTube 0:19:43.400 --> 0:19:46.920 seeing black market ship you know what I mean. Yeah, 0:19:47.280 --> 0:19:51.280 that was like because he was like, I've seen gross 0:19:51.320 --> 0:19:54.640 stuff since, but I had not seen anything grosser at 0:19:54.640 --> 0:20:00.119 the time. Yeah, that that broke a seal for like 0:20:00.400 --> 0:20:03.720 I would say, eighty percent of us. Yeah, because once 0:20:04.000 --> 0:20:08.640 now that you know that that's out there, I got 0:20:08.720 --> 0:20:10.800 and some of us had to know, and some of 0:20:10.880 --> 0:20:14.040 us were like, I'm good, I'm going to like join 0:20:14.160 --> 0:20:18.199 a church and in turn in the opposite direction, and 0:20:18.320 --> 0:20:22.040 that fucking video I would say holds holds a lot 0:20:22.040 --> 0:20:25.960 of weight in that responsibility. Yeah, I would like to 0:20:26.000 --> 0:20:28.440 find them. I wonder if they know what they do. 0:20:28.760 --> 0:20:31.800 They have two girls, they know they know. I guess 0:20:31.800 --> 0:20:33.560 that's weird for me to ask, as if you were 0:20:33.720 --> 0:20:40.280 I gotta find that cup? Do you know what you did? 0:20:44.200 --> 0:20:52.119 They burn the cup? Imagine the intern that had to 0:20:52.200 --> 0:20:55.919 wash out that cup after the mess that was made? 0:20:56.359 --> 0:21:00.920 Where is that true crime documentary? They're talking about everything else? 0:21:00.960 --> 0:21:05.440 Why don't we have a two girls, one cup video history? Yeah. 0:21:05.480 --> 0:21:07.840 The fact that they haven't come forward and said like 0:21:08.200 --> 0:21:11.880 this was abuse, this, this was a violation, tells you 0:21:11.960 --> 0:21:14.520 something something crazy you had to have had. They haven't 0:21:14.560 --> 0:21:18.040 been murdered. I think that they I don't know, maybe 0:21:18.080 --> 0:21:23.439 they're maybe the proud of it. Okay, but but he's great. 0:21:23.560 --> 0:21:26.359 The word great, it's not a moral word. It's just 0:21:26.440 --> 0:21:30.600 a word for a size. Yeah. I guess where I 0:21:30.720 --> 0:21:34.399 start to worry or worry wonder? I guess, is is 0:21:35.600 --> 0:21:39.520 something that popular? They couldn't have been paid that much, right, 0:21:39.720 --> 0:21:45.919 So it becomes that no, so so why haven't we 0:21:45.960 --> 0:21:49.120 heard of any of them coming forward and being like, hey, 0:21:49.200 --> 0:21:53.520 we never saw enough money on what became truly a 0:21:53.680 --> 0:21:59.840 worldwide phenomenon. Dog, where are the two girls, one cup girl? 0:22:00.000 --> 0:22:11.040 Where they are? Where's the cameraman? Back girls and specifically 0:22:11.080 --> 0:22:15.400 the two girls one cup girl? If that's we gotta 0:22:15.440 --> 0:22:20.320 make deep, that's a perfect God damn t shirt is 0:22:20.440 --> 0:22:24.120 bring back our hashtag bring back our Girls, and it's 0:22:24.200 --> 0:22:27.280 just the image of the two girls one cup ladies 0:22:27.800 --> 0:22:31.399 right beneath it. Bro. You know what's crazy is they 0:22:31.440 --> 0:22:33.639 could walk into my apartment right now. I would not 0:22:33.760 --> 0:22:36.399 recognize it. You wouldn't recognize them because they're not covered 0:22:36.440 --> 0:22:44.520 in poop. They were covered in poop. People, I know 0:22:44.600 --> 0:22:55.800 you something I recognize you? Does somebody pup in your mouth? Wait? 0:22:56.119 --> 0:22:58.879 So what when we talk we're talking about pooping mouth. Yeah, 0:22:58.960 --> 0:23:02.960 the poop pooping mouth conspiracy. There is what what Carly 0:23:03.400 --> 0:23:07.120 sent us. Carly sent us this email and she said, Hey, 0:23:07.200 --> 0:23:09.800 lengths in the David, I love your show. I've been 0:23:10.280 --> 0:23:13.359 talking shipped to my husband forever, swearing I will email 0:23:13.400 --> 0:23:17.720 my own conspiracy and finally making it happen. So here 0:23:17.720 --> 0:23:20.879 we go. I am by rationable. My black mom and 0:23:20.920 --> 0:23:24.240 her extended family are responsible for most of my upbringing. 0:23:24.520 --> 0:23:27.560 As kids, my cousins and I were always pushing to 0:23:27.880 --> 0:23:31.000 finish our plates at meal time, whether you liked what 0:23:31.080 --> 0:23:33.800 you would you were being served or not. At some 0:23:33.880 --> 0:23:36.720 point us kids started this thing. We thought we were 0:23:36.720 --> 0:23:40.680 being slick. I just uh by just holding a big 0:23:40.760 --> 0:23:45.320 mouthful of food forever without swallowing, presumably in hopes that 0:23:45.400 --> 0:23:48.119 dinner would end at the UH and the adults would 0:23:48.119 --> 0:23:50.720 give up on making us finish our plates. When the 0:23:50.720 --> 0:23:54.040 adults caught onto this ruse, my mama told me that 0:23:54.080 --> 0:23:56.440 if we kept food in our mouths for too long, 0:23:56.920 --> 0:24:00.800 it will automatically turn to ship like act tool, physical 0:24:00.880 --> 0:24:04.600 poop in your mouth. It was devious and insanely effective. 0:24:06.160 --> 0:24:09.280 Where are you at so far? Where? What are your feelings? 0:24:09.359 --> 0:24:13.200 I'll finish the email. Let's let's gauge your immediate responses 0:24:13.280 --> 0:24:23.080 inside of this. Listen. I'm not a docu, right, Okay, 0:24:23.080 --> 0:24:25.879 here's what I got. Poop is made out of food, 0:24:26.560 --> 0:24:30.919 That's right. That's as far as I could go on. 0:24:31.680 --> 0:24:35.959 That's as far as I do. I think that like, 0:24:36.080 --> 0:24:38.600 if I just kept food in my mouth for a 0:24:38.640 --> 0:24:41.600 long time, it would turn the poop. No, I think 0:24:41.600 --> 0:24:46.000 it would smell bad. Mm hmm, But do I think 0:24:46.000 --> 0:24:48.160 it would turn turn into the same poop that comes 0:24:48.160 --> 0:24:51.560 out of my But do you think it would smell bad? 0:24:51.760 --> 0:24:57.000 Like poop bad or like just like like old oats 0:24:57.359 --> 0:25:00.800 and hot breath type that, Like do you think it's 0:25:00.800 --> 0:25:03.400 I think it's like have you ever like these those 0:25:03.400 --> 0:25:09.520 little the tooth the dentech strips? Do you ever these things? Oh? Yeah, 0:25:09.560 --> 0:25:13.159 those the things that people are are throwing on the 0:25:13.240 --> 0:25:18.840 street constantly for something. Yeah? Yeah, yeah. What Sometimes I'll 0:25:18.840 --> 0:25:21.200 pull like a piece of steak or something out with 0:25:21.240 --> 0:25:23.879 one of these, and it smells pretty bad, and that 0:25:24.040 --> 0:25:31.840 she has just been there for like twenty minutes, because 0:25:31.920 --> 0:25:33.400 like if I get a big one, you know, I'll 0:25:33.400 --> 0:25:38.160 sniff it and like so like extrapolate that over time. 0:25:39.000 --> 0:25:43.880 I think, I think there's something happens. I don't know. 0:25:44.800 --> 0:25:49.720 This is a difficult one. It is I I guess 0:25:49.720 --> 0:25:54.600 where my brain originally went. Is holding food you don't 0:25:54.680 --> 0:25:58.719 like in your mouth? It would taste like ship? Do 0:25:58.720 --> 0:26:01.240 you have more difficult than need to? Yeah, it seems 0:26:01.280 --> 0:26:03.240 like at the point that you've put it in your mouth, 0:26:03.359 --> 0:26:08.360 you've you've already crossed the threshold. You don't just finished. 0:26:08.359 --> 0:26:12.560 Good motherfucker. That's what I mean children are. Yeah, that's 0:26:12.600 --> 0:26:14.840 the craziest part of this to me is like I'll 0:26:14.920 --> 0:26:18.160 just hold these chiplands in my mouth and that way 0:26:18.200 --> 0:26:21.480 I don't have to experience them. It's like, no, that's 0:26:21.520 --> 0:26:24.439 the worst part. Also, that's crazy to me because like 0:26:24.960 --> 0:26:28.479 maybe I'm crazy. My mom can cook. That's like one 0:26:28.560 --> 0:26:34.560 thing we never had, like nasty meals, like are you good? 0:26:35.359 --> 0:26:37.879 My mom could cook. She didn't love doing it, but 0:26:37.960 --> 0:26:40.920 she could cook. My dad, I think had like four 0:26:41.080 --> 0:26:44.119 meals that he knew how to handle, and like we 0:26:44.160 --> 0:26:47.919 would have those pretty consistently. They hit for for my 0:26:48.000 --> 0:26:50.840 palette then. And and I'm a big fan of my dad. 0:26:50.840 --> 0:26:56.800 He's a good man, good man, good But I wouldn't 0:26:56.800 --> 0:26:59.880 say that. I I'd like, go to somebody else's house 0:27:00.080 --> 0:27:03.040 be like, man, you gotta try my dad's tomato chicken. 0:27:03.119 --> 0:27:07.240