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Speaker 1: This is the intergalactic John. This is Airlien Salm on

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Speaker 1: the International Okay Storytime podcast station.

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Speaker 2: And we have some human stories coming up, not alien, but.

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Speaker 1: Before we make a landing, stick around for this two

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Speaker 1: minute not alien ad break before we get to these

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Speaker 1: interstellar stories.

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Speaker 3: My wife is upset. I turned down a promotion. It

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Speaker 3: was too much work.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to work up day, man, I want

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Speaker 1: a vacation and sit by beach.

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Speaker 3: A few years ago, I was working eighty hours a week.

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Speaker 3: That's too many hours, and working on weekends.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god.

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Speaker 3: I hated it. It was horrible. I had no time

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Speaker 3: to see my kids. They were usually asleep when I

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Speaker 3: got back, and my spicy sleep life was non existent.

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Speaker 3: The only good thing was the pay. It was very generous.

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Speaker 3: It was so bad.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god. Man's not getting any wow out of it.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from no eighty hour week,

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Speaker 3: and if you want to spit your own stories, go

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Speaker 3: to the r slash. Okay Storytime suppered it. I quit

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Speaker 3: eventually and quickly found another job in the same field,

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Speaker 3: but this was only a forty eight hour week, six

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Speaker 3: days a week. The work schedule is much more tolerable

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Speaker 3: and I can come home by seven every day and

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Speaker 3: still have dinner with my family and see my kids.

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Speaker 3: The pay is nearly half of what I earned in

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Speaker 3: my previous job, but still quite manageable. Right now, I

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Speaker 3: earn fifty eight hundred dollars.

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Speaker 1: Per month, pretty good.

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Speaker 3: We used to live in a five bedroom house and

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Speaker 3: we were only using three of the rooms, with one

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Speaker 3: unused guest room and one office that was never used.

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Speaker 3: We moved and downgraded into a much smaller house with

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Speaker 3: three bedrooms and two bathrooms. There's one room for each

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Speaker 3: of my daughters in one bedroom for me and my wife.

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Speaker 3: I handle all the finances because my wife isn't good

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Speaker 3: with money. We have much fewer luxuries than we did before,

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Speaker 3: but otherwise all our needs are being met. I am

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Speaker 3: able to save half my pay twenty seven hundred dollars

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Speaker 3: per month. I have saved almost ten K for my

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Speaker 3: eldest daughter and almost five K for my younger daughter.

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Speaker 3: I have seventy K in my general savings account and

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Speaker 3: have other investments. So Man's doing pretty good.

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Speaker 1: Man's doing great.

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Speaker 3: Every month I give my wife an allowance of two

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Speaker 3: hundred dollars to spend on whatever she wants. This does

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Speaker 3: not include groceries and other household expenses, as I do

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Speaker 3: all the household shopping and grocery shopping. We have two

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Speaker 3: cars that have been paid off. I would say that

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Speaker 3: despite my salary being had, we still lead a comfortable life.

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Speaker 3: My wife is a stay at home mom, so we

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Speaker 3: rely on my salary. Okay, so he was making a

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Speaker 3: good chunk of change before.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, but.

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Speaker 2: He hasn't really had to downgrade his life too much

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Speaker 2: even with the.

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Speaker 1: Pay pay cut.

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Speaker 3: Last month, I was offered a promotion that would almost

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Speaker 3: double my pay. So he'll go right.

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Speaker 1: Back to where he was. But well, is he gonna

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Speaker 1: have to double his hours?

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Speaker 3: However, this promotion also changes my duties and requires me

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Speaker 3: to work all seven days of the week and be

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Speaker 3: able to travel for work frequently. Okay, I am expected

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Speaker 3: to work seventy hours a week, which I do not

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Speaker 3: want to do again. I turned the offer down citing

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Speaker 3: my family commitments, and my boss was very understanding. My

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Speaker 3: wife is upset at me for turning down the promotion.

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Speaker 3: She said, we need the money, and if I had

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Speaker 3: taken the promotion, we wouldn't need to stay in a

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Speaker 3: crabby house like the one we were living in Now

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Speaker 3: their house is a crabby I think, yeah, she's upset

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Speaker 3: that there's only three bedrooms.

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Speaker 1: Remember she is good with money.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, she's she liked the lifestyle she had before,

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Speaker 3: where she didn't have to think about how much.

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Speaker 2: Money she was trend or it's like how expensive is that?

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Speaker 2: Oh that's not bad?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, there isn't anything wrong with the house we

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Speaker 3: live in now. The backyard is small, but my kids

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Speaker 3: don't really enjoy playing outside, and the house is in

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Speaker 3: a respectable neighborhood and is actually closer to my daughter's school.

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Speaker 3: There isn't anything broken that requires fixing in the house.

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Speaker 3: House is smaller than it used to be, but that's

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Speaker 3: about it. Is my wife being unreasonable or is there

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Speaker 3: something I'm not seeing?

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Speaker 1: Edit?

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Speaker 3: Thanks for all the opinions. My wife knows I hated

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Speaker 3: my previous job, but I don't think she understands the

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Speaker 3: extent of it and how bad it really was. I

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Speaker 3: do not think two hundred dollars a month for personal

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Speaker 3: needs is a bad deal, but I don't spend much myself.

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Speaker 3: I guess I could increase the monthly allowance. My wife

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Speaker 3: does not make financial decisions because she's really bad with money,

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Speaker 3: and she racked up credit card debt worth thirty five

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Speaker 3: k oh wow.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, she has a lot of credit card.

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Speaker 3: Banks which took a long time to pay off. This

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Speaker 3: was before we had kids, and it was a mutual

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Speaker 3: decision to let me handle the money. I think we

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Speaker 3: need to have a really long talk. Thanks again for

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Speaker 3: all the replies. Some people are suggesting that she could

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Speaker 3: go back to work, and I think part time work

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Speaker 3: would be good, especially because our kids are already in school.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, time shopping, probably to spend.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, there is an update, But do you have any thoughts?

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Speaker 2: It sounds like she both is not understanding, not curious

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Speaker 2: about like your your experience at the job, and doesn't

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Speaker 2: feel like she's pulling her own way.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely well. The thing is, it doesn't seem like she

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Speaker 3: really cares about op at all.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, she's just like.

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Speaker 3: She cares about her lifestyle.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, money please.

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Speaker 3: He's telling her that he is truly breaking next you know,

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Speaker 3: afford this lifestyle of eighty hours a week to get

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Speaker 3: you know, twelve thirteen hundred sorry at thirteen thousand a month.

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Speaker 3: But he can't. That's not something that he can keep up.

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Speaker 2: Also, Yeah, what's the point of making all that money

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Speaker 2: if you can't even enjoy. Yeah, he literally could not

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Speaker 2: see his children and he could not sleep with his wife.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it was at a certain point. Is that amount

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Speaker 3: of money worth it if you are literally hate your life?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Because he certainly doesn't seem to think so. And she's

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Speaker 3: just like, I actually don't care.

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Speaker 1: What it's like. She's like, I would actually like to

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Speaker 1: see less of you.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well that's what it feels like. It feels like, Oh,

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Speaker 3: I actually like the way that our marriage is set

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Speaker 3: up because I never see you and you pay for

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Speaker 3: my lifestyle.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's pretty it's pretty sad. It's pretty sad.

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Speaker 3: Update.

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Speaker 1: Let's get into this update.

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Speaker 3: Thought I would update as the problem has been mostly resolved.

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Speaker 3: Oh and I'm quite happy with the outcome.

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Speaker 2: That you know, you don't see that often here. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but uh, a little happy yet you like to see

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Speaker 2: Maybe maybe it's prettymature happy ending.

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Speaker 3: Thanks to the people who responded in the previous post.

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Speaker 3: I did briefly skim through all the replies. The first

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Speaker 3: thing I did was have an honest talk with my

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Speaker 3: wife about how I felt during my previous job. She

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Speaker 3: knew that I hated it, but not the extent of

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Speaker 3: how stressed I was feeling during those times. I explained

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Speaker 3: everything and said I will never go back to doing

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Speaker 3: more than fifty hour work weeks ever again. Even if

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Speaker 3: the pay was good, it wasn't worth a mental stress

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Speaker 3: or general well being. It was a very honest conversation,

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Speaker 3: and I think my wife really understood. She apologized several

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Speaker 3: times and cried a bit. The next part was the house.

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Speaker 3: In my point of view, the house is great in

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Speaker 3: every aspect and meets all our needs perfectly. But she

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Speaker 3: wasn't happy with it. So there could have been something

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Speaker 3: I wasn't seeing, and there was. My wife has really

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Speaker 3: picked up on baking and cooking over the years, and

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Speaker 3: in the new house the kitchen is much smaller than

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Speaker 3: the previous one. The kitchen space was sacrificed for a

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Speaker 3: bigger living room space and a make cooking and baking

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Speaker 3: an annoying affair for my wife. She says the kitchen

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Speaker 3: is so narrow that she ends up knocking stuff over

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Speaker 3: and she doesn't like working there. It's true, the kitchen

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Speaker 3: is quite narrow. She apologized for overreacting about the house.

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Speaker 3: I've thought a lot about this, but I don't want

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Speaker 3: to spend extra money on remodeling the kitchen. I think

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Speaker 3: the small kitchen space is something that can be managed.

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Speaker 3: My wife has agreed. She said she was acting in frustration,

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Speaker 3: but doesn't see us moving again or spending money for renovating.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 2: And also it sounds like maybe they do own the

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Speaker 2: house after there's standing money on renovating.

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Speaker 1: Would means crazier that you didn't say anything anything. She's

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Speaker 1: like like, she's like, I don't know.

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Speaker 3: This one's fine.

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Speaker 1: I mean the kitchen is like the first thing that

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Speaker 1: you look at personally.

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Speaker 3: That's that's a big doll for me. Like if I

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Speaker 3: if I were looking at houses, I would want.

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Speaker 1: To know a kitchen, you would say something like a

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Speaker 1: narrow kitchen.

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Speaker 3: About the general finances, a lot of people were concerned

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Speaker 3: that my wife doesn't know anything about our finances. Rest assured.

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Speaker 3: My wife has access to emergency savings and she is

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Speaker 3: aware of all financial decisions I make About her allowance,

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Speaker 3: I don't think two hundred dollars is very little. But

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Speaker 3: after discussing with my wife, we agreed that she could

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Speaker 3: go back to She has a degree, but doesn't want

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Speaker 3: to go back to work in that field. She's applied

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Speaker 3: to work in a local bakery as a baker slash

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Speaker 3: pastry chef, and she just passed the baking test. Oh,

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Speaker 3: let's go.

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Speaker 1: That's actually so cute.

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Speaker 3: Was waiting for the confirmation before posting this.

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Speaker 1: Oh way, that's awesome.

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Speaker 3: She will be earning about nine hundred dollars per month.

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Speaker 3: That's awesome. This is great. This is something that she

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Speaker 3: seems to enjoy.

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Speaker 1: And you can have bake goods win win.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it might be hard to make them in your

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Speaker 2: narrow kitchen, but sense nevertheless, you have some bake goods.

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Speaker 3: And has agreed to put four hundred and fifty dollars

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Speaker 3: into savings for my younger daughter and use the rest

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Speaker 3: for her own desire spending.

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Speaker 2: Boom love all love this. This. This is beautiful doing

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Speaker 2: something she loves, making some money doing it. We I

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Speaker 2: mean this, this is great.

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Speaker 3: I am putting away the two hundred dollars originally for

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Speaker 3: my wife into savings for our younger daughter. Overall, I

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Speaker 3: am quite happy with the resolution. More savings for our daughters,

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Speaker 3: and my wife has more money to spend. Also, she

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Speaker 3: says she's allowed to bring home extra treats she makes,

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Speaker 3: so it's a win win for everyone and edit. My

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Speaker 3: wife has been interested in going back to work for

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Speaker 3: some time now, but has never actually done it, so

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Speaker 3: I didn't force her to go back to work. This

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Speaker 3: was something we talked about and she agreed that she

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Speaker 3: wants to go back to work. The work is part time.

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Speaker 3: She spends four hundred and fifty dollars on whatever she wants.

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Speaker 3: All of the bills, groceries, and other shopping and financial

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Speaker 3: needs are covered by me. I save twenty seven hundred

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Speaker 3: dollars plus two hundred dollars, and ninety percent of the

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Speaker 3: balance of my income is spent on paying bills and

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Speaker 3: other necessities. I do not spend much on myself, around

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Speaker 3: one hundred dollars, and I'm perfectly fine with that.

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Speaker 2: One hundred dollars a month. I guess, so you only

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Speaker 2: spend one hundred dollars in yourself a month.

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Speaker 3: For the kitchen. By renovating, I meant that we will

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Speaker 3: not be making major changes. We will manage the space

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Speaker 3: by adding more cabinets, lengthening the countertops, and breaking the

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Speaker 3: wall between the balcony and the kitchen for added space.

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Speaker 3: The remodeling, So you are remodeling, yeah, okay, This was

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Speaker 3: not a decision made by me only. This was after

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Speaker 3: a lengthy comm with my wife. The basics are only

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Speaker 3: given here, but it was a mutual decision by both

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Speaker 3: of us. I do agree my language needs to change.

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Speaker 3: It's not my savings, but our savings, and I'm aware

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Speaker 3: of that and will consciously make the decision to change

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Speaker 3: the way I phrase it. I definitely love my wife

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Speaker 3: and think of us as a team. All our savings

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Speaker 3: are for the benefit of our family. And there is

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Speaker 3: a second update.

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Speaker 1: I feel like the shoes get to drop.

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Speaker 3: I think so too.

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Speaker 1: I feel like.

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Speaker 3: We're only halfway through. You know, we're way more than

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Speaker 3: halfway through. That was like a really quick that all

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Speaker 3: went by very quickly. Oh wow, we only have like

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Speaker 3: a little bit left, Oh a little bit. Yeah, so,

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Speaker 3: but we have room for it all to crume. We've

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Speaker 3: got room for dessert.

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Speaker 1: We got room for dessert.

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Speaker 3: Edit to sixteen dollars new box of tampons and pads,

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Speaker 3: thirty bucks sunscreen, face wash, moisturizer and anti acne prescription,

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Speaker 3: eighty bucks birth control, ten bucks shampoo and conditioner, fifty

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Speaker 3: bucks gifts about two birthdays a month come up for

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Speaker 3: friends and family It also covers things like weddings. I

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Speaker 3: had to go to four last summer. Twenty five bucks

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Speaker 3: or person is what tends to be expected in months

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Speaker 3: with no birthdays. I put this towards the Christmas fund

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Speaker 3: forty bucks.

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Speaker 1: Clothes.

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Speaker 3: I drift all of my clothes and find that each

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Speaker 3: month I have to buy either a new shirt or

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Speaker 3: new pants.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: I mean, man is fan has got his finances in order.

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Speaker 3: Wow, one hundred and twenty bucks transit. A transit pass

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Speaker 3: in my city is one hundred and ten bucks per month,

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Speaker 3: and the other ten bucks is the cab I usually

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Speaker 3: have to take between meetings if I'm rushed. If I

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Speaker 3: had a car, I guess this would be the line

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Speaker 3: item for gas. I consider all of these financial needs,

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Speaker 3: and I pay for all of these. I consider medical

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Speaker 3: needs like birth control, and things like clothes and transport

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Speaker 3: expenses to be necessities, and I pay for all of that.

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Speaker 3: There seems to be some misconceptions. I also consider haircuts

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Speaker 3: and meals to be a financial need, and I pay

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Speaker 3: for that. FYI hope that clears the misconception. There is

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Speaker 3: a little bit left to this story. Do you any

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Speaker 3: final thoughts.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it seems like he has his expenses down. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I'm just I feel like I'm feeling good about where

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Speaker 2: the story's ending. It seems like he's managing it well.

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Speaker 2: Seems like she heard him. I feel like this is

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Speaker 2: an example of good communication.

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Speaker 3: I agree, Sam, and I also agree that there's a

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Speaker 3: little bit left. Okay Edit three. Yeah, I enjoy spending

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Speaker 3: time with my family. I grew up poor and during

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Speaker 3: the time my wife racked up thirty five K of

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Speaker 3: debt and didn't tell me about it until they came

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Speaker 3: to seal the house and take away our furniture.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god.

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Speaker 3: Luckily most of the things were in my name, so

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Speaker 3: we got by it. But that was one of the

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Speaker 3: scariest things I faced. We were facing homelessness. Wow, that

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Speaker 3: crap scares you. This was before we had kids. Having

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Speaker 3: kids ranked my saving habits up a notch. I can

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Speaker 3: get obsessive about it. I agree, And that is the

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Speaker 3: end of that story.

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Speaker 2: Well, it does feel like we got into a better space.

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Speaker 3: I think.

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Speaker 2: You know, money is such an important thing to talk

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Speaker 2: about in a relationship. You kind of have to be

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Speaker 2: on the same page about how you spend it and

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Speaker 2: how you think about it because you don't want to

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Speaker 2: have to think about money in a relationship, but you

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Speaker 2: kind of have to.

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Speaker 3: I agree, because then you'll have to think about it

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Speaker 3: way more.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, if you get into a situation where you're in debt,

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Speaker 2: like when you're seizing all of your furniture. Oh boy,

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Speaker 2: I refuse to replace my daughter's car. I'm not the

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Speaker 2: one who destroyed it.

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Speaker 3: Not my problem.

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Speaker 2: My daughter, Casey's seventeen female, worked and saved up money

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Speaker 2: for around a year to be able to afford a

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Speaker 2: better car than we could buy her with our family budget.

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Speaker 2: My other daughter, Alana, sixteen female, has ADHD and recently

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Speaker 2: got her driver's license and asked to drive Casey's car.

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Speaker 2: Put I see you in the chat if you know

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Speaker 2: what's going to happen. By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 2: last Time and Top version twenty nine forty. I think

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Speaker 2: we got a double feature Reddit story.

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Speaker 1: Coming up, folks, let's go.

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Speaker 2: We love seeing those both perspectives. Anyway, if you want

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Speaker 2: to spell your own stories, go to the r slash

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Speaker 2: Okay storytime ceb So Casey allowed it, but Alana ended

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Speaker 2: up having a bad accident around six months ago, which

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Speaker 2: basically rendered the car unusable. The insurance payout wasn't nearly

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Speaker 2: enough to cover the replacement, and with Alana's medical bills

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Speaker 2: from the accident lengthilly, there was no permanent damage, just

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Speaker 2: a broken arm and leg, there was no way we

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00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:09,199
Speaker 2: could afford to replace Casey's car immediately. Alana was very

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Speaker 2: apologetic to Casey, and so were we since we couldn't

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Speaker 2: afford to replace her car. But Casey didn't accept her

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Speaker 2: apology and has been basically avoiding us, skipping family dinners

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Speaker 2: and pretty much pretending that her mom and Alana and

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Speaker 2: I don't exist, and only talks to us if she

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Speaker 2: needs a form signed for her school.

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Speaker 3: I mean she's based of course, fair fair fair. The

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Speaker 3: car that she spent money on without her parents' help

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Speaker 3: was destroyed by her sister. And you know, if we're

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Speaker 3: talking about insurance, was if the sister destroys a car

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Speaker 3: that she you know, she's not her car, then you

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Speaker 3: should be paying for it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I begged her to come to a family therapy session,

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Speaker 2: and she eventually relented, both the condition that Alana wouldn't

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Speaker 2: be present in the therapy session. She told us that

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Speaker 2: she won't be resuming a relationship with us until we

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Speaker 2: replace her car, which realistically won't be until next year.

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Speaker 2: When the therapist asked how she expected us to do that,

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Speaker 2: Casey said, we would just make Alana work, yes, to

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Speaker 2: earn the money.

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Speaker 1: Yes, Yeah, that's the idea.

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Speaker 2: The issue is that Alana has severe ADHD and already

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Speaker 2: has trouble managing her schoolwork. I'm worried that making her

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Speaker 2: work to earn money will harm her grades and have

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Speaker 2: significant ramifications for her future. Casey said, well, she should

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Speaker 2: have thought about that before destroying my car. I don't care.

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Speaker 2: I'm not going to speak to any of you unless

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Speaker 2: I have my car replaced. I responded that she was

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Speaker 2: free to avoid speaking to me as long as she

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Speaker 2: wanted to, but I'm not going to permanently harm her

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Speaker 2: sister's future to get her a car Earlier. I had

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Speaker 2: a job when I was in school, and like, I

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Speaker 2: feel like having jobs honestly can help you have the

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Speaker 2: structure needed to actually do well in school.

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Speaker 3: Okay, I understand that the saying like she's already having

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Speaker 3: trouble with managing schoolwork and stuff. I just don't know

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Speaker 3: if I mean, like I really don't know. Like I

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Speaker 3: can't tell you because I'm not a doctor, you know,

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Speaker 3: if that, if it will affect her, but I feel like,

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Speaker 3: I don't know, they could make like they could figure

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Speaker 3: out something, some sort of schedule that works for her.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, like just like working a couple hours

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Speaker 2: a day. Yeah, you know after school is not gonna Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I'm not gonna hurt you.

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Speaker 1: Sure. So.

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Speaker 2: My wife agrees with me that we need to stand

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Speaker 2: firm on our position, but is genuinely afraid that Casey

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Speaker 2: will never speak to us again. I understand that her

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Speaker 2: car was ruined, but I, as a parent, I need

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Speaker 2: to look out for all my children, not just one.

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Speaker 2: I also don't want to set the precedent that emotional

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Speaker 2: blackmail will work even if what you're asking for is unreasonable.

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Speaker 2: So am I the A hole? What do we think?

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Speaker 2: Is OP the A hole?

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Speaker 3: I understand that OP is trying to do the thing

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Speaker 3: that works best for the family and is not doing

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Speaker 3: it maliciously, But I do think that he is not

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Speaker 3: doing the thing that benefits his daughters, either of them.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree either either. I think accountability Yeah pretty rough,

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Speaker 2: pretty rough, but we got an update.

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Speaker 1: But uh, is OP the a whole? I think OP

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Speaker 1: a hole?

402
00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:56,400
Speaker 2: So comment one, anyone wondering how much convincing it took

403
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Speaker 2: for Casey to let Alana drive her car op no

404
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:02,680
Speaker 2: convincing at all. We weren't even involved in the comba

405
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Speaker 2: between them. Commenter two, I'm with Casey on this one.

406
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Speaker 2: You're coddling your youngest and you have no idea if

407
00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:09,679
Speaker 2: having a job could actually help your youngest learn to

408
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Speaker 2: manage your time. You've left your oldest hanging. Edit Dad,

409
00:17:12,359 --> 00:17:14,440
Speaker 2: If Alana can get her driver's license, she can get

410
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Speaker 2: a job. In comment to three, you're the ale. You're

411
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Speaker 2: crapping all over Casey to protect Alana from the consequences

412
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,359
Speaker 2: of her actions. If her condition is that bad, why

413
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Speaker 2: was she allowed to drive in the first place.

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Speaker 3: This is a great point.

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Speaker 1: It's great point. Yeah, and we got an update from

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Speaker 1: the wife. Ooh, little double trouble. Wow, double trouble.

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Speaker 2: So I thirty nine female and my husband forty three male,

418
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Speaker 2: have two daughters, sixteen who will call Alanna and seventeen,

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Speaker 2: who I'll call Casey. Casey's held down a steady job

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Speaker 2: for over a year now and is able to get

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Speaker 2: herself a car now. She got this car right as

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00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:49,320
Speaker 2: Alana passed her own driver's test, So there's a little

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Speaker 2: issue between who is going to be driving. After a

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00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:54,520
Speaker 2: little persuasion, Casey did allow Alana to use her car

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Speaker 2: so long as somebody else paid for gas. We told

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Speaker 2: her that wasn't going to cut it. Alana doesn't have

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00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:03,280
Speaker 2: money for that. It's her car, her responsibility keep gassing

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Speaker 2: it and keep it on the road.

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Speaker 1: Wait wait, I'm sorry.

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Speaker 3: That's an insane thing. That's crazy.

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Speaker 2: Here's where it gets difficult. Alanna wrecked it about a

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Speaker 2: month ago. Luckily she was fine aside from broken wrist

433
00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:19,760
Speaker 2: in a mile concussion. But Casey was fuming the entire

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Speaker 2: time and seemed to have this expectation that we would

435
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Speaker 2: be replacing her car. Her and my husband got into it,

436
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:26,520
Speaker 2: and she threw her arms up like a child and

437
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:28,840
Speaker 2: stopped speaking to us. We coaxed her into going to

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Speaker 2: family therapy, though it wasn't productive, as she and the

439
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:33,880
Speaker 2: therapist agreed that it'd be best to maintain the reduced

440
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Speaker 2: contact until she's paid back the therapist.

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Speaker 3: Degree therapist agreed.

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Speaker 2: Here's the problem. The car was fifteen grand. She saved

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Speaker 2: up every penny for a year for that car. She'd

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Speaker 2: asked us about it twice a week. If we changed

445
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:48,480
Speaker 2: our mind, and obviously the answer was no, but that

446
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:50,800
Speaker 2: was the only thing she'd say to us. It didn't

447
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:52,920
Speaker 2: seem to bother my husband, and he kept saying she'll

448
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:55,399
Speaker 2: get over it. Until last week she packed some things

449
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:57,720
Speaker 2: and had my mother come get her. He's been saying

450
00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,400
Speaker 2: at her grandmother's for a little over a week now,

451
00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:02,280
Speaker 2: and she gave me a good earfull. Whatever Casey told her.

452
00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:05,160
Speaker 2: It worked because earlier today my husband and I were

453
00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:08,560
Speaker 2: informed we had thirty days to replace the car in

454
00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:11,080
Speaker 2: full or she was taking us to court.

455
00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:16,480
Speaker 3: Good. Yes, the therapist, your mom are all saying, yeah,

456
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:17,680
Speaker 3: pay your daughter back.

457
00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:18,040
Speaker 1: Yeah.

458
00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:21,000
Speaker 2: And I imagine you spent fifteen do you know? I

459
00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:23,400
Speaker 2: bet you they have the money to pay her back to.

460
00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:27,119
Speaker 3: Yeah, fifteen thousand dollars at seventeen.

461
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:29,040
Speaker 1: With everything that's eb I didn't.

462
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:32,400
Speaker 3: That's crazy. I had two dollars a sifty.

463
00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:35,080
Speaker 2: I think my husband is admirable in wanting to stand

464
00:19:35,119 --> 00:19:37,080
Speaker 2: his ground, But the way I'm looking at it, we

465
00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:40,240
Speaker 2: have two options. And I am sick of my daughter

466
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:42,879
Speaker 2: not talking to me because of crap. That is not

467
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:43,400
Speaker 2: my fault.

468
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:46,000
Speaker 3: It is your daughter. Therefore it is your fault.

469
00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:49,720
Speaker 2: Alana has been a wreck. She's already battling severe ADHD

470
00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:51,800
Speaker 2: and now she's shaking at the thought of having to

471
00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:52,680
Speaker 2: appear in court.

472
00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:55,080
Speaker 3: She doesn't have to appear in court if you pay

473
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:56,160
Speaker 3: back your daughter.

474
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,480
Speaker 2: So I sat them both down and said, we have

475
00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:01,080
Speaker 2: two options. We can suck it up, pay fifteen thousand

476
00:20:01,119 --> 00:20:03,720
Speaker 2: dollars and have our daughter and sister back, and Alana

477
00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:06,880
Speaker 2: will just have to buck up and it works, yes, yes,

478
00:20:07,359 --> 00:20:09,679
Speaker 2: Or we can let my dad sue my husband and

479
00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:12,680
Speaker 2: I on Casey's behalf and almost certainly lose.

480
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:13,439
Speaker 1: At least they know.

481
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,560
Speaker 2: We spoke to four different firms and all four echoed

482
00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:19,520
Speaker 2: the similar sentiment that would probably cost us close to

483
00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:21,439
Speaker 2: triple in the end to bring it to court and

484
00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:23,480
Speaker 2: fight it there. So that's when I told my husband

485
00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:26,600
Speaker 2: that I am not going thirty grand further into debt

486
00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:29,040
Speaker 2: for him to hold the pettious grudge he's saying, I'm

487
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:31,639
Speaker 2: being manipulative by holding this whole situation over his in

488
00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:35,280
Speaker 2: Alana's heads. I'm not saying it's not part my fault.

489
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:37,159
Speaker 2: All I said was that no matter what, at the

490
00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:39,160
Speaker 2: end of the day, we owe Casey and he needs

491
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:39,879
Speaker 2: to just accept that.

492
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:41,280
Speaker 3: Okay. So she's kind of come around.

493
00:20:41,359 --> 00:20:41,920
Speaker 1: That's good.

494
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:45,720
Speaker 2: The threat, Oh my god, imagine the thread of like

495
00:20:46,359 --> 00:20:48,280
Speaker 2: legal action being the thing that I see to come around.

496
00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:51,040
Speaker 3: Thank god Casey as her you know grandparents.

497
00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:52,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, I thank god. We have the law.

498
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:55,359
Speaker 2: We can afford fifteen thousand to replace the car. But

499
00:20:55,359 --> 00:20:57,040
Speaker 2: if we have to dish out double that just to

500
00:20:57,119 --> 00:20:59,760
Speaker 2: lose in court anyway, I'm divorcing him before he makes

501
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:00,320
Speaker 2: that stake.

502
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:03,600
Speaker 3: Also literally said we can afford fifteen k.

503
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:07,000
Speaker 2: In either case, I'm done not supporting both of my daughters.

504
00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:09,760
Speaker 2: We've tried reasoning with Casey and it has resulted in nothing.

505
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:11,920
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm she's flip flopping.

506
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:14,240
Speaker 3: Well, I feel like she's I don't know, kind of

507
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:16,000
Speaker 3: come around with post.

508
00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:18,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, but she's like it's like she's kind of come around,

509
00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:21,720
Speaker 2: but she's like also mad about it. Yeah, it's almost

510
00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:24,359
Speaker 2: like what it feels like, it's like, logically, this is

511
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,320
Speaker 2: what we need to do because we're going to owe

512
00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:28,359
Speaker 2: that money. Yeah, I'm mad about doing it.

513
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:29,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what it.

514
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:32,440
Speaker 2: I agree. We've tried reasoning with Casey and it has

515
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:35,040
Speaker 2: resulted in nothing. We lost this one. Am I the

516
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:37,320
Speaker 2: a hole for trying to get my husband to accept it.

517
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:39,399
Speaker 2: I feel I may be just for how long I

518
00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:42,080
Speaker 2: was being a passenger and no pun intended in the situation,

519
00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:44,240
Speaker 2: and for threatening my husband with divorce. I don't think

520
00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:47,200
Speaker 2: we did anything that wrong, but I'm willing to admit

521
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:49,360
Speaker 2: when we made some mistakes and we have to make

522
00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:50,280
Speaker 2: up for it somehow.

523
00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:51,919
Speaker 1: But yeah, the wife is the a.

524
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:54,119
Speaker 3: Hole, right, So yeah, the consensus, but his wife is

525
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:57,360
Speaker 3: also the a yeah for yeah, I mean, you guys are.

526
00:21:57,440 --> 00:21:59,159
Speaker 3: The only reason that she's kind of come around is

527
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:01,600
Speaker 3: because of the legal art. M hmm, that's it. Yeah,

528
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:03,680
Speaker 3: and they don't recognize their're wrongs.

529
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:07,440
Speaker 2: But we got some more stuff so relevant comments. Op

530
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:09,320
Speaker 2: and her husband need to get Alana to pay Casey

531
00:22:09,359 --> 00:22:12,080
Speaker 2: back for damaging her car. Op, what is she supposed

532
00:22:12,119 --> 00:22:14,040
Speaker 2: to do, maguically come up with thousand dollars to pay

533
00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:16,000
Speaker 2: the oldest back. It's not a matter of not wanting

534
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,480
Speaker 2: to hold people accountable. It's simply not realistic. I also

535
00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:20,480
Speaker 2: want to stay on the record, I was very against

536
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:23,320
Speaker 2: Casey getting a car that nice as her first.

537
00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:24,520
Speaker 1: She saved up her.

538
00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:26,560
Speaker 3: Money, saved up her own money.

539
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:29,639
Speaker 2: She never listened. Interurns would have likely paid for some

540
00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:31,719
Speaker 2: if she would have just put her sister as an

541
00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:34,160
Speaker 2: approved driver on the plan, it would not have been difficult.

542
00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:36,320
Speaker 2: But no, it's not a Lota's fault that she has ADHD.

543
00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:39,600
Speaker 2: It's not like she wrecked it on purpose. Come to one,

544
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:42,919
Speaker 2: Casey saved up fifty thousand dollars and didn't pay the

545
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:45,800
Speaker 2: three hundred dollars a month to get insurance. Nope, sounds

546
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:48,679
Speaker 2: like Alana wrote this and doesn't know how insurance works.

547
00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:51,639
Speaker 2: Oh did Alana write this? Alana pay for the gas

548
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:54,920
Speaker 2: if you drive the car. The op says she had insurance,

549
00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:57,760
Speaker 2: But they really screwed us over because Casey didn't approve

550
00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:00,520
Speaker 2: Alana as a driver on the plan. That was a

551
00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:03,240
Speaker 2: big determining factor in us to decide a whole firm.

552
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:05,159
Speaker 2: If Alana would have been approved on the plan, we

553
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:07,960
Speaker 2: would have covered the remainder on what the insurance was offering.

554
00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:09,520
Speaker 3: Why wouldn't they have done that?

555
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:11,960
Speaker 2: But this is the result of Casey's decision. Hence I

556
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,679
Speaker 2: agreed with my husband that it's fully her responsibility. I

557
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:16,679
Speaker 2: just didn't expect her to sue us out of nowhere

558
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:18,760
Speaker 2: like this, and I especially didn't expect my parents to

559
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:21,919
Speaker 2: be enabling this behavior what's in her best interest. Might

560
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:23,760
Speaker 2: suck now, but she'll learn from it in the future.

561
00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:26,080
Speaker 2: My husband's been fuming for weeks over this, and a

562
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:28,000
Speaker 2: lot of you are saying he even made a post.

563
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:29,959
Speaker 2: But if they ruled not the a hole, then he

564
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,119
Speaker 2: wasn't telling the full story. A lot of broke her

565
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:33,800
Speaker 2: arm and that wreck and all Casey's cared about the

566
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:34,800
Speaker 2: past month is her.

567
00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:37,520
Speaker 3: Car in fifteen fifteen thousand dollars.

568
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:40,040
Speaker 2: That's the genesis behind the family therapy, and I'm very

569
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:42,800
Speaker 2: concerned that so many people are supporting her entitled behavior.

570
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:45,800
Speaker 2: OPI is blaming her parents for enabling Casey and just

571
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:48,600
Speaker 2: suing op and her husband. Opi says, I'm not absolving

572
00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:51,280
Speaker 2: them of blame either. They're the ones enabling Casey and

573
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:53,399
Speaker 2: all this. Are you forgetting that it's my mom and

574
00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:55,680
Speaker 2: dad suing on her. Behalf your nuts. If you think

575
00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:58,280
Speaker 2: they won't be hearing from me, results will be danged.

576
00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:01,680
Speaker 2: I'm getting angry telephone calls for a week over this crapstorm.

577
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:04,439
Speaker 2: Somebody has to answer for that. Even her uncles are

578
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:06,280
Speaker 2: on her side in this, probably because she's right.

579
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:10,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, the fact that the like the law her family,

580
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:12,720
Speaker 3: the therapist are all on her side.

581
00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:16,359
Speaker 1: Like at this point, you got to ask yourself, maybe

582
00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:17,080
Speaker 1: you're in the wrong.

583
00:24:17,359 --> 00:24:20,680
Speaker 3: I'm like, if we're, if you're. It just really upsets

584
00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:23,159
Speaker 3: me that they're like, well, she made a choice to

585
00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:26,520
Speaker 3: not have Alana be insured. It's like, I'm sorry, if

586
00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:29,280
Speaker 3: your seventeen year old daughter and your sixteen year old

587
00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:33,240
Speaker 3: daughter are working out their own, like driving deal, maybe

588
00:24:33,359 --> 00:24:36,480
Speaker 3: check in, yeah, to make sure all the insurance is okay.

589
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:39,000
Speaker 2: Well, I think you know what. I could hear them saying,

590
00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:42,520
Speaker 2: it's like, well, it's your responsibility to insure your car,

591
00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:44,800
Speaker 2: so you should insure it with everyone who would be

592
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:45,280
Speaker 2: driving it.

593
00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:48,879
Speaker 3: Probably, yeah, probably, yeah, just like like they're expecting Casey

594
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:49,560
Speaker 3: to pay for gas.

595
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:50,080
Speaker 1: Yeah.

596
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:54,560
Speaker 2: Op On what she and her husband do for Casey,

597
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:57,040
Speaker 2: Opie says, we feed her, we clothe her, We were

598
00:24:57,080 --> 00:24:59,000
Speaker 2: going to send her to college. He had a place

599
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:01,720
Speaker 2: to park that car because of us. And oh, by

600
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:04,000
Speaker 2: the way, my husband got under there and fixed the

601
00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:06,359
Speaker 2: tyrod about a month ago after she got it. For

602
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:07,919
Speaker 2: all of you saying about how awful he is.

603
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:09,560
Speaker 1: He's not. He loves Casey both too.

604
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:12,240
Speaker 2: But I didn't see her putting that car up in

605
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:14,520
Speaker 2: the air to redo the brakes and fix the AC

606
00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:15,680
Speaker 2: when she hit a deer.

607
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:16,680
Speaker 1: That was all her father.

608
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:19,600
Speaker 2: I figured that allowing her sister to also drive their

609
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:22,359
Speaker 2: car was more than a fair ass for all he

610
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:24,400
Speaker 2: did and is a big reason why I supported him,

611
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:26,920
Speaker 2: and I just hate that I apparently can't support him

612
00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:28,440
Speaker 2: and love my daughters.

613
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:32,480
Speaker 3: That sounds a little bit different their car. Then Alana's saying, oh,

614
00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:34,720
Speaker 3: can I drive your car? And Casey's saying yeah, of course.

615
00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:38,560
Speaker 3: That sounds like he helped fix Alana's or Casey's car

616
00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:41,320
Speaker 3: and then said can you let Alana drive your car?

617
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:43,439
Speaker 3: That's what that sentence sounds like. I don't know if

618
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:47,359
Speaker 3: I'm miss reading or reading into it, but it sounds

619
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:48,400
Speaker 3: like I feel like.

620
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:50,080
Speaker 2: We're getting like weird information here.

621
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:51,800
Speaker 3: I know, I think that we're getting more and more.

622
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:57,200
Speaker 3: It sounds to me like Casey hit a deer, something

623
00:25:57,280 --> 00:25:59,719
Speaker 3: got messed up in the car. Dad comes and fixes

624
00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:02,240
Speaker 3: it and says, Oh, because I helped you, you have

625
00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:04,719
Speaker 3: to let Alana drive your car. That's what this sounds

626
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:05,119
Speaker 3: like to me.

627
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:06,800
Speaker 1: How does that make you feel?

628
00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:08,480
Speaker 3: Not good?

629
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:09,159
Speaker 1: Why?

630
00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:11,720
Speaker 3: Because it makes me feel like they're lying to us.

631
00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:14,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like they're lying to make themselves look better.

632
00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:16,680
Speaker 1: I don't know. It feels like unreliable narrator.

633
00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:19,720
Speaker 2: I agree, But if that's the resolution you all want,

634
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:21,800
Speaker 2: forget it. Casey's going to take us to court and

635
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:24,280
Speaker 2: then when she loses, she's going to throw another fit.

636
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:26,200
Speaker 2: But that's better than dishing out fifteen K for a

637
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:28,200
Speaker 2: car we're not even going to drive. It's not lost

638
00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:30,040
Speaker 2: on me that we owe her. We just don't owe

639
00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:32,439
Speaker 2: her that much. She'll come around when she realizes how

640
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:33,359
Speaker 2: the world works.

641
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:35,400
Speaker 3: It works, ma'am.

642
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:38,760
Speaker 2: Another update, we're like barely more than halfway through.

643
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:44,160
Speaker 3: They're gonna they are going to come crashing down so hard, hard.

644
00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:47,920
Speaker 2: But let's get into this next update. Three weeks later.

645
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:50,240
Speaker 2: It's been a few weeks since I last updated, and

646
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:52,359
Speaker 2: I want to start out by addressing a few things

647
00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:54,680
Speaker 2: that opened my eyes a little bit in regards to

648
00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:55,240
Speaker 2: the situation.

649
00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:56,640
Speaker 1: Let's hope the eyes are open.

650
00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:59,160
Speaker 2: The first thing being my husband's post, which came well

651
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:01,520
Speaker 2: before my own, and I fought over that. I truthfully

652
00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:04,439
Speaker 2: didn't love that he used real names. However, when I

653
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:06,800
Speaker 2: found out he posted for the sake of transparency, I

654
00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:09,359
Speaker 2: used real names as well. But with that being said,

655
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:12,840
Speaker 2: I went through with the difficult decision to serve him

656
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:13,840
Speaker 2: divorce papers.

657
00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:17,080
Speaker 1: I'm confused. I'm confusing. It sounds like it.

658
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:19,520
Speaker 3: Was the wife's perspective. And the last thing we just

659
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:21,080
Speaker 3: heard it right, the one where she was like, yeah,

660
00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:23,720
Speaker 3: we're taking them out of court. Yeah, because originally she

661
00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:25,480
Speaker 3: was like, I'm going to divorce him if we go

662
00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:27,880
Speaker 3: to court, and then she was like, I'm taking her

663
00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:28,320
Speaker 3: to court.

664
00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:30,639
Speaker 2: And then she's like, she's like, I'm not going to

665
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:32,400
Speaker 2: take her to court, but like she's going to find

666
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:34,199
Speaker 2: out if she takes this to court, how you know

667
00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:36,480
Speaker 2: it's going to be is Yeah.

668
00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:38,400
Speaker 1: But it feels like she's partly on his.

669
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:40,760
Speaker 3: Side, yes, which is why it doesn't make.

670
00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:42,679
Speaker 1: Sense to really abbreviate things.

671
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:44,440
Speaker 2: I went to therapy, as a lot of you suggested,

672
00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:47,199
Speaker 2: and I was assessed with the diagnosis for the for

673
00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:51,040
Speaker 2: an obsessive compulsive disorder. In my second session and in

674
00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:53,639
Speaker 2: my third session, we discussed the whole car situation, and

675
00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:55,920
Speaker 2: my personal therapist explained it to me in a way

676
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,720
Speaker 2: that made it hard not to feel awful for Casey.

677
00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:00,359
Speaker 3: Now we have two therapist.

678
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:05,840
Speaker 2: Like you aft over Casey discussion, we had covered quite

679
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:08,439
Speaker 2: a lot with the common denominator and everything that's been

680
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:10,800
Speaker 2: going wrong in large part has been my husband.

681
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:12,800
Speaker 1: But you supported his decision.

682
00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:17,280
Speaker 3: You'se such playing such a getting well, she's.

683
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:19,399
Speaker 1: Victim, she's herself.

684
00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:22,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh it wasn't my fault. It was my husband

685
00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:23,240
Speaker 3: all along.

686
00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:27,520
Speaker 2: Read back your last post. Yeah, he's the reason Casey

687
00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:30,560
Speaker 2: shared her car. He's the reason Alana got hurt driving

688
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:32,600
Speaker 2: on her own, and he's the reason we're set for

689
00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:35,120
Speaker 2: court and barely a week and still don't have an attorney.

690
00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:38,360
Speaker 3: Okay, so again we have now confirmation that he did,

691
00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:41,400
Speaker 3: in fact ask Casey to share the car.

692
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:44,680
Speaker 2: Dude, I think she's divorcing him so she.

693
00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:48,480
Speaker 3: Doesn't have to pay for the fifteen K. Yeah, yeah,

694
00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:49,720
Speaker 3: that makes sense.

695
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:53,360
Speaker 2: Well and me, I don't know what I've been doing,

696
00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:55,320
Speaker 2: but it hasn't been being a mother, if I'm honest.

697
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:56,920
Speaker 2: One of you asked me straight up, why was I

698
00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:58,800
Speaker 2: being a passenger? And I just don't have a good answer.

699
00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:01,080
Speaker 2: I let my parents know about that, and they were

700
00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:04,200
Speaker 2: a little concerned. But what I didn't expect was for

701
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:06,800
Speaker 2: Casey to reach out. Last time we talked was mostly

702
00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:08,720
Speaker 2: her and my husband butting heads. I really thought she

703
00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 2: was about to turn on a spit, but I've never

704
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:12,840
Speaker 2: heard her cry like that, at least not since she

705
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:15,120
Speaker 2: was much younger. I make it a little bit more

706
00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:17,800
Speaker 2: than my husband, but finding apartment was brutal, especially with

707
00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:19,880
Speaker 2: Alana wanting to come with me. I don't think I

708
00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:21,880
Speaker 2: was clear enough about how badly I wanted to pay

709
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:24,000
Speaker 2: Casey back before, but I do. Most of my money

710
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:26,040
Speaker 2: is in joint savings, though, so there isn't much I

711
00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:28,280
Speaker 2: can afford. But my husband wasn't going to back down.

712
00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:30,440
Speaker 2: I won't lie. I was selfish. I beg Casey to

713
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:31,920
Speaker 2: drop my name from her suit.

714
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:35,040
Speaker 3: Uh huh wow, shocking. We're all shocked.

715
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:37,680
Speaker 2: I told her I would pay what I could afford

716
00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:40,760
Speaker 2: to get this second, which wasn't much in comparison, and

717
00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:43,280
Speaker 2: she told me that it wasn't so much the car

718
00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:46,120
Speaker 2: or the value on its own she wanted back. It

719
00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:48,760
Speaker 2: was the security to have something of her own. And

720
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:52,000
Speaker 2: she listed off probably dozens of instances where Alana got

721
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:54,400
Speaker 2: first pick over her and it was very hard to refuse.

722
00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:57,280
Speaker 1: So Alana is golden child. Absolutely.

723
00:29:57,360 --> 00:29:59,520
Speaker 2: She told me that losing that much money sucked, which

724
00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:02,000
Speaker 2: I fully in, but the bigger loss to her was

725
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:04,160
Speaker 2: that her first big girl purchase, which a lot of

726
00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:06,240
Speaker 2: friends and family were excited about, was now going to

727
00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:08,840
Speaker 2: be remembered as a family ending disaster.

728
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:12,080
Speaker 3: I just don't understand how they could not get how

729
00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:15,800
Speaker 3: big of a deal fifteen thousand dollars is to anyone,

730
00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:19,960
Speaker 3: to anyone, and eaten like most of all is seventeen yel.

731
00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:22,600
Speaker 2: We agreed to breakfast next week and joint therapy US two,

732
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:24,720
Speaker 2: and her only condition was that I don't at any

733
00:30:24,760 --> 00:30:26,680
Speaker 2: point tried to save him from the suit, which I

734
00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:29,760
Speaker 2: agreed to. Alana came to me even before my last post,

735
00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:32,120
Speaker 2: saying she only drove so far because my now ex

736
00:30:32,160 --> 00:30:35,120
Speaker 2: husband pressured her into picking up a grocery order early

737
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:38,080
Speaker 2: for something he wanted to make. Has also changed my perspective.

738
00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:39,680
Speaker 2: I was under the impression that she was doing her

739
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:41,760
Speaker 2: own thing, but even my husband owned up to it,

740
00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:43,600
Speaker 2: which is ground my gears. But I put it together.

741
00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:46,719
Speaker 2: A legal driver, an expensive car, not insured, and under pressure,

742
00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:48,760
Speaker 2: Alana drove. But I've come to realize that my ex

743
00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:51,480
Speaker 2: husband seems to have a tendency to like pressure people.

744
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:54,080
Speaker 2: My God, he's pressured me a lot too. I don't know, dude,

745
00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:57,360
Speaker 2: I feel like she's on taking you any responsible.

746
00:30:57,760 --> 00:30:59,360
Speaker 3: She got herself off the suit.

747
00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:03,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, he probably pressured Casey into letting Alana drive at all,

748
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:05,040
Speaker 2: which brings me back to her, and he finished our

749
00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:07,360
Speaker 2: talk with better terms. I owe her so much more

750
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:10,040
Speaker 2: than breakfast, and I'm just beyond grateful that she's even

751
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:11,440
Speaker 2: willing to look at me. I've seen a lot of

752
00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:14,040
Speaker 2: bold assumptions that I hate Casey, and then I vastly

753
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:16,120
Speaker 2: favor a lot out. Yeah, I mean that's kind of

754
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:18,560
Speaker 2: been true, but I only feel the second part was

755
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:21,200
Speaker 2: ever accurate. I've never hated my own daughter. I was

756
00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:24,000
Speaker 2: frustrated with her over something I've come to realize wasn't

757
00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:26,200
Speaker 2: her fault. As of now, I'm just adjusting to a

758
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:29,640
Speaker 2: much quieter place in my pham buzzing NonStop. I've only

759
00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:31,840
Speaker 2: been moved out for five days, and Alta seems so

760
00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:32,800
Speaker 2: much less anxious to me.

761
00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:33,240
Speaker 1: At least.

762
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:36,120
Speaker 2: It's odd because my place now isn't anywhere near what

763
00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:38,440
Speaker 2: the house is. But I think last night, probably the

764
00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:40,640
Speaker 2: first time I've slept eight hours since high school. Today

765
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:43,240
Speaker 2: was productive, And for Casey, I'll admit I hope she wins.

766
00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:45,480
Speaker 2: I hope she gets her car and then some. As

767
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:48,160
Speaker 2: for the divorce, I don't want much material. I won't

768
00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:50,280
Speaker 2: say no to it. I'd rather just have my shared

769
00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:52,880
Speaker 2: joint savings and try to tackle my own issues, of

770
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:54,680
Speaker 2: which I guess I have more than I would have

771
00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:56,400
Speaker 2: been willing to admit a month ago. I know I'm

772
00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:58,440
Speaker 2: going to get pelted, most likely, but I want you

773
00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:00,320
Speaker 2: to know I'm thankful. The Internet is me, but it

774
00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:02,720
Speaker 2: tells the truth. And however this turns out, it's largely

775
00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:04,880
Speaker 2: her comment's helped me see what I was doing was wrong,

776
00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:08,240
Speaker 2: and who was enabling those things, and most importantly, how

777
00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:10,040
Speaker 2: I could stop it. It's time like this where my

778
00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:12,680
Speaker 2: dad would tell me I'm not lucky, I'm privileged. I

779
00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:15,120
Speaker 2: think that applies here. I'm privileged that my daughter didn't

780
00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:18,360
Speaker 2: just laugh, even though she could and arguably should have.

781
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:21,440
Speaker 2: There's another element update, But what do we feel about

782
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:23,000
Speaker 2: everything this person is saying?

783
00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:24,000
Speaker 3: I don't trust her.

784
00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:24,880
Speaker 1: I don't trust her.

785
00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:25,760
Speaker 3: I don't trust her.

786
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:27,600
Speaker 1: I feel like she's going to use this in court

787
00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:27,960
Speaker 1: as a.

788
00:32:27,880 --> 00:32:31,920
Speaker 3: Way, Like I don't know, I just think it's like

789
00:32:32,040 --> 00:32:35,440
Speaker 3: really convenient timing, too convenience, you know, like she was

790
00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:38,360
Speaker 3: still kind of culpable in the in the whole car

791
00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:42,280
Speaker 3: situation so much so, and now she's now completely exonerated

792
00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:44,840
Speaker 3: herself from any of them on it, you know, giving

793
00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:45,880
Speaker 3: back any of that money.

794
00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:46,360
Speaker 4: Yeah.

795
00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:50,200
Speaker 2: I think she's fully protecting herself. Yeah, but there is

796
00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:52,040
Speaker 2: some more update.

797
00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:53,800
Speaker 1: So that's the update.

798
00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:57,200
Speaker 2: I'll date whenever Casey and I meet, barring she's comfortable

799
00:32:57,200 --> 00:32:58,880
Speaker 2: with it, and then you probably won't hear from me

800
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:01,040
Speaker 2: until the whole suitent of verse is over and done with.

801
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:02,360
Speaker 2: I just want to read it to know I hear

802
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:04,120
Speaker 2: you all. I wish I could have seen the reason

803
00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:07,360
Speaker 2: when I first posted. I'm frustrated reading my own comments.

804
00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:10,560
Speaker 2: Therapy is a powerful thing, and so Comdrauan. It's great

805
00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:12,400
Speaker 2: that you seem to have changed your tune a bit,

806
00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:17,200
Speaker 2: but this still screams are of avoiding being held accountable.

807
00:33:17,680 --> 00:33:20,160
Speaker 2: Your ex husband may have been the driving force behind

808
00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:22,360
Speaker 2: the fault with Casey, but you were trying very hard

809
00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:24,920
Speaker 2: to place blame on Casey in your initial post and

810
00:33:24,960 --> 00:33:27,800
Speaker 2: subsequent comments, and it's hard for me to believe you.

811
00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:29,080
Speaker 1: Switch side that easily.

812
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:31,560
Speaker 2: Oh, Casey gets the outcomes you deserve from all this,

813
00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:34,240
Speaker 2: whether that's your ex husband being taken to the cleaners,

814
00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:37,280
Speaker 2: or both of you comment through two, you're still the ale.

815
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:39,560
Speaker 2: You allow this all to happen. Your daughter bought the

816
00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:41,480
Speaker 2: car and it was okay to let the other daughter

817
00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:43,400
Speaker 2: drive it and not have to pay for gas. Take

818
00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:46,280
Speaker 2: some responsibility and realize you are a crap parent.

819
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:48,000
Speaker 1: That is where that story ends.

820
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:49,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree.

821
00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:51,520
Speaker 1: Frustrating, Yeah, I think it's.

822
00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:56,200
Speaker 3: Just frustrating that, like her kind of revelation is, oh,

823
00:33:56,320 --> 00:33:58,680
Speaker 3: I was never at fault for anything. It was always

824
00:33:58,720 --> 00:34:01,280
Speaker 3: my husband. He was bad guy all alonge.

825
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:05,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like, I'm just appalled that she doesn't believe

826
00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:06,920
Speaker 2: that people would see through that.

827
00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:08,240
Speaker 1: I'm massive charad.

828
00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:10,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, like you don't just like get out of it

829
00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:14,480
Speaker 3: that it's not one therapy appointment, and it's like.

830
00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:16,880
Speaker 2: Therapy has changed me so much. No, you go to

831
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:20,759
Speaker 2: years of therapy and maybe become less of it. Yeah, yeah,

832
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:21,680
Speaker 2: what do you think, young, I'm.

833
00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:23,880
Speaker 4: Gonna say she definitely flipped after she posted that, and

834
00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:25,879
Speaker 4: then the internet was like year and a.

835
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:29,960
Speaker 2: Hole flipping while she was posting it. Even in the

836
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:32,440
Speaker 2: post it was I'm like, this doesn't make any sense.

837
00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:36,520
Speaker 5: No, She's like, wait, no, no.

838
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:36,880
Speaker 1: It wasn't me. It wasn't me.

839
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:39,880
Speaker 2: I swear I swear I didn't do anything wrong, but

840
00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:43,520
Speaker 2: that is where that story ends. Hey, Sam, we're gonna

841
00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:45,040
Speaker 2: get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of

842
00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:46,080
Speaker 2: bads from our sponsors.

843
00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:50,520
Speaker 1: I recently discovered my nephew's biological father. I'm not sure

844
00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:54,400
Speaker 1: what to do. Challenge him to a duel. My sister, Cherry,

845
00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:57,880
Speaker 1: and I had a difficult upbringing. I won't go into details,

846
00:34:57,920 --> 00:35:01,560
Speaker 1: but we both reacted to that differently. I became very

847
00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:03,799
Speaker 1: hard working and don't have a lot of trust and men.

848
00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:06,960
Speaker 1: My sister needed men and constantly bounce from one to

849
00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:09,120
Speaker 1: the other, not doing much else. By the way, this

850
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:11,400
Speaker 1: comes from raising my nephew. And if you want to

851
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:13,440
Speaker 1: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

852
00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:15,840
Speaker 1: storytime subredd it. Yes, so I thought that would have

853
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:18,520
Speaker 1: changed when she got pregnant. The father was some man

854
00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:21,080
Speaker 1: she met at the club or she worked, and she

855
00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:24,120
Speaker 1: seemed really happy that this would latch him in. But

856
00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:28,160
Speaker 1: the baby was clearly Hispanic and not his, so that

857
00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:31,520
Speaker 1: didn't last long. She'd been moaned that she was sure

858
00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:34,360
Speaker 1: now who the dad was, but couldn't really remember his

859
00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:37,160
Speaker 1: last name. He has a distant first name. But I

860
00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:39,719
Speaker 1: tried to help her find him, and we didn't. She

861
00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:43,359
Speaker 1: ended up moving in with me and bringing Alexander with her.

862
00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:45,960
Speaker 1: I was not enthused. I didn't want to live with

863
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:48,680
Speaker 1: the baby. I was finishing college and wanted to focus

864
00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:51,480
Speaker 1: on me, But so did Cherry. I told her when

865
00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:55,040
Speaker 1: she moved in, I would only babysit sometimes and that

866
00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:58,680
Speaker 1: he was her responsibility. But slowly that changed.

867
00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:03,320
Speaker 4: I mean, she out, you got uncle responsibilities. I'm sorry

868
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:06,360
Speaker 4: that you didn't think you would become primary uncle.

869
00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:09,440
Speaker 1: Yeah. I'd wake up and he'd be crying and she

870
00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:11,920
Speaker 1: was gone, or I'd come home and his diaper was

871
00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:14,320
Speaker 1: soaked through. I took care of him at first because

872
00:36:14,360 --> 00:36:16,640
Speaker 1: somebody had to, and then I fell in love with him.

873
00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:19,480
Speaker 1: I don't think Cherry ever did the whole thing unravel

874
00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:22,560
Speaker 1: even more when she met this guy. Alexander was five

875
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:25,640
Speaker 1: months old and she moved out to be with the

876
00:36:25,719 --> 00:36:28,239
Speaker 1: new guy. She said, the best thing that could have

877
00:36:28,280 --> 00:36:30,880
Speaker 1: happened for Xander, that was her nickname for him, was

878
00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:33,040
Speaker 1: if she got married to a guy with money and

879
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:36,799
Speaker 1: she could get him out of the tiny dingy apartment

880
00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:39,520
Speaker 1: and give him nice things, because that's what he wants.

881
00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:40,520
Speaker 1: He wants nice things.

882
00:36:40,520 --> 00:36:43,239
Speaker 4: Not a mom, right, I'm sure that the three year

883
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:47,359
Speaker 4: old is concerned with the quality of the goods surrounding him.

884
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:50,520
Speaker 1: Mom, I don't have my Gucci flip flops on. I

885
00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:52,440
Speaker 1: need Gucci flip flops. Don't worry.

886
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:56,560
Speaker 5: Mommy's going to Equinox to find a good husband for us.

887
00:36:57,760 --> 00:37:00,319
Speaker 1: I do believe she meant that, and one of the

888
00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:02,880
Speaker 1: best for him. I've raised him on my own ever since.

889
00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:06,400
Speaker 1: And a little after Alexander's first birthday, Cherry has to

890
00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:09,120
Speaker 1: weig in a car accident and I became his legal guardian.

891
00:37:09,239 --> 00:37:10,400
Speaker 1: Oh my god, what.

892
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:15,480
Speaker 4: Oh god, dude, that's yeah, well, I mean, the decision

893
00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:18,960
Speaker 4: has been made for everyone in that context, it's terrible.

894
00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:19,400
Speaker 1: Yeah.

895
00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:19,719
Speaker 4: Yeah.

896
00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:22,879
Speaker 1: H Thursday, I went to give a lecture given by

897
00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:25,960
Speaker 1: a man that with a unique first name and astracing

898
00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:29,680
Speaker 1: resemblance to Alexander. They even had the same calc. Afterwards,

899
00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:32,960
Speaker 1: I spoke to him and learned that other details matched up.

900
00:37:33,120 --> 00:37:36,600
Speaker 1: Uh oh. He seemed like a nice, educated, thoughtful man.

901
00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:38,600
Speaker 1: He gave me his number in case I had more

902
00:37:38,680 --> 00:37:41,239
Speaker 1: questions about his research. What kind of research are we

903
00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:42,080
Speaker 1: looking into here?

904
00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:45,680
Speaker 4: I think I think we're researching. Is this guy the

905
00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:47,279
Speaker 4: dad that was so quick.

906
00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:49,919
Speaker 1: I mean, that's like the Thursday after your sister pass

907
00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:53,280
Speaker 1: away or this Thursday. That's got it. That's that's freaky.

908
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:55,879
Speaker 1: Which Thursday are we talking about? That's freaky. There has

909
00:37:55,920 --> 00:37:58,480
Speaker 1: to have been time that went by, right, I hope. Yeah. Well,

910
00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:00,280
Speaker 1: if Thursday happened, that's too freak.

911
00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:05,040
Speaker 4: Thursday almost immediately, that's too freaky. No, there's no way

912
00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:07,560
Speaker 4: this is I'm calling it. There's a time gap. It's

913
00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:08,439
Speaker 4: just not written down.

914
00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:10,760
Speaker 1: I think it was just last Thursday, all right. Anyways,

915
00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:14,760
Speaker 1: I'm fairly certain that that man is Alexander's father. Feel

916
00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:16,879
Speaker 1: like I've been stabbed in the gut. I love him

917
00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:19,000
Speaker 1: so much. I know he isn't mine, he feels like

918
00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:21,400
Speaker 1: he's mine. I've always been there for him since he

919
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:23,600
Speaker 1: was just a baby. He calls me mama. I know

920
00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:26,719
Speaker 1: everything about him. That he had horrible ear infections when

921
00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:28,520
Speaker 1: he was a baby, that you have to read to

922
00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:30,880
Speaker 1: him before he goes to bed. He's afraid to go

923
00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:33,040
Speaker 1: down the big side unless you go with him. His

924
00:38:33,120 --> 00:38:36,120
Speaker 1: current obsession with any vehicle that moves. I know him,

925
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:38,440
Speaker 1: and I don't know what I'd do without him or

926
00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:43,480
Speaker 1: him me. I understand the protection of the maternal protections

927
00:38:43,760 --> 00:38:45,399
Speaker 1: is like, I don't want to know who the dad

928
00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:47,200
Speaker 1: is because there's a chance that they could take the

929
00:38:47,239 --> 00:38:48,919
Speaker 1: kid away from me. You know, because if this guy's

930
00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:51,520
Speaker 1: a teacher, lives in a good house, has all these things,

931
00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:53,319
Speaker 1: he can provide more for the kid. Thus, you know,

932
00:38:53,480 --> 00:38:56,120
Speaker 1: George could be like whoa hmm, seems like this good

933
00:38:56,120 --> 00:38:57,680
Speaker 1: should be with this person and not you.

934
00:38:58,080 --> 00:39:01,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean it's a fair because you've raised this kid.

935
00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:03,560
Speaker 4: So we did have some clarification. So it's like, for

936
00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:05,719
Speaker 4: all intensive purposes, you've raised this kid for three years,

937
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:06,399
Speaker 4: you're his mom.

938
00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:08,839
Speaker 1: You're his mom, but those fears kids still coming in head.

939
00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:10,879
Speaker 4: Well I get it, but I mean, like I think

940
00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:13,440
Speaker 4: Ope's perspective of like, I mean, it's like, what, you know,

941
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:15,680
Speaker 4: what could happen because it's like I don't really have

942
00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:17,480
Speaker 4: any rights because I'm not his mom or anything. And

943
00:39:17,520 --> 00:39:21,240
Speaker 4: it's like, but like any reasonable person, yeah, which you'd hope,

944
00:39:21,239 --> 00:39:23,279
Speaker 4: like the dad would just be really like, oh, I

945
00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:24,439
Speaker 4: just want the kid to have a good life.

946
00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:27,320
Speaker 1: Clearly you have become the child's mother, but you're a

947
00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:30,880
Speaker 1: little bit more about Opie's past. She doesn't really trust men. Yeah,

948
00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:33,279
Speaker 1: So Oh no, I mean I understand where her head's at.

949
00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:35,239
Speaker 4: I think I think you guys could probably come to

950
00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:38,320
Speaker 4: a fair agreement if it's the case.

951
00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:41,120
Speaker 1: You know, he has fed, clean and sheltered, but money

952
00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:43,120
Speaker 1: is time. I have a better job than before since

953
00:39:43,160 --> 00:39:45,320
Speaker 1: I graduated, but everything is on me, and I feel

954
00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:47,839
Speaker 1: like it never stretches far enough. He got sick before

955
00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:50,640
Speaker 1: his birthday a few months ago, and between time off work,

956
00:39:50,719 --> 00:39:53,279
Speaker 1: doctor visits, and medicine, I could only buy him a

957
00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:56,439
Speaker 1: few small presents in a homemade cake. There is also

958
00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:59,400
Speaker 1: the idea of him deserving more family. He only has

959
00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:02,560
Speaker 1: me now. Sometimes I'm terrified at the idea of something

960
00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:05,800
Speaker 1: happening to me, him going into foster care. There isn't

961
00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:08,920
Speaker 1: anybody else. And finally, small part of me is like,

962
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:11,759
Speaker 1: how do I know this is not just a coincidence?

963
00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:15,520
Speaker 1: What if I ruined this small, fleeting career I'm developing

964
00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:18,879
Speaker 1: by accusing a respective individual in the field of being

965
00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:21,160
Speaker 1: my nephew's dad. How would I even tell him? And

966
00:40:21,280 --> 00:40:26,200
Speaker 1: we have an update, Oh dude, we're like an eight through. Yeah.

967
00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:27,920
Speaker 4: I think all you can do now is just like

968
00:40:28,200 --> 00:40:30,440
Speaker 4: just try to start the conversation. Don't make it like

969
00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:33,160
Speaker 4: a it's not an accusation. It's not like a I

970
00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:36,200
Speaker 4: got you. It's like a, hey, so this might be crazy.

971
00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:39,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would invite him the coffee, like, hey, this

972
00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:41,160
Speaker 1: sounds weird, but I would like to talk to you

973
00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:43,520
Speaker 1: about some things over coffee, about your research. And then

974
00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:46,400
Speaker 1: it's gonna be a hard conversation. It's gonna be uncomfortable.

975
00:40:46,920 --> 00:40:49,400
Speaker 4: Like, so, have you ever wanted to kids? Because you

976
00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:51,280
Speaker 4: have one? Have you ever be sure?

977
00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:52,680
Speaker 5: Have you ever liked mine?

978
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:55,040
Speaker 1: Been with anyone that looks kind of similar to me?

979
00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:56,279
Speaker 3: But it's not actually my kid.

980
00:40:56,320 --> 00:40:59,640
Speaker 1: It's my sisters. Yeah, but it's yours too, but we

981
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:03,480
Speaker 1: have another. A lot has happened since my original post. First,

982
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:06,160
Speaker 1: I took a moment to think about everything I knew

983
00:41:06,239 --> 00:41:10,040
Speaker 1: about him. The name unusual to his country, think something

984
00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:13,480
Speaker 1: like Greek man with a traditionally Latin American name, just

985
00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:16,240
Speaker 1: as an example. The sport he played in the general

986
00:41:16,360 --> 00:41:19,360
Speaker 1: strong resemblance to Alexander. I just kind of knew, but

987
00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:22,120
Speaker 1: I was secretly hoping I was wrong. I consulted a

988
00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:26,200
Speaker 1: lawyer Goodbye emergency fund and was advised to not act

989
00:41:26,239 --> 00:41:28,520
Speaker 1: on it. But if that I did, he could get

990
00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:32,160
Speaker 1: my child support and ensure that the dad would only

991
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:35,719
Speaker 1: share custody. This was comforting, especially when he texted me,

992
00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:38,000
Speaker 1: having got my number from a mutual friend. He asked

993
00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:41,480
Speaker 1: me to have coffee because of my thesis had interest him.

994
00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:43,480
Speaker 1: I think he knows something. I think he knows something.

995
00:41:43,600 --> 00:41:46,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, he's like your thesis is interesting. Also, that kid

996
00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:50,000
Speaker 4: looks like me, like exactly, which is crazy.

997
00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:55,080
Speaker 1: I was highly flattered, and realizing that regardless, I wouldn't

998
00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:57,600
Speaker 1: lose Alexander, I decided to meet up with him. There

999
00:41:57,640 --> 00:42:00,640
Speaker 1: was a chance he was my nephew's father, and alex

1000
00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:03,480
Speaker 1: deserved the opportunity to meet his father. If this was

1001
00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:05,640
Speaker 1: in fact his father, If nothing else, this would be

1002
00:42:05,680 --> 00:42:08,480
Speaker 1: a good opportunity for my career with a pleasant individual

1003
00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:10,719
Speaker 1: in my career. We had a lovely lunch and I

1004
00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:13,960
Speaker 1: finally braved the question and talking about the nightlife if

1005
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:17,360
Speaker 1: he'd ever gone to the bar Cherry worked at. He grimaced,

1006
00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:20,279
Speaker 1: and he said he'd gone there for a while when

1007
00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:23,399
Speaker 1: he was less mature, but that he didn't care for

1008
00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:25,960
Speaker 1: that scene anymore. I asked if you had ever met

1009
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:29,080
Speaker 1: a waitress named Cherry. He grimaced again even more and

1010
00:42:29,160 --> 00:42:32,319
Speaker 1: admitted he had Ooh, that's bad too. He is like,

1011
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:38,880
Speaker 1: uh yeah, oh I do know her. Oh God, this

1012
00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:42,120
Speaker 1: is my kid, isn't it. So I told him he

1013
00:42:42,239 --> 00:42:45,080
Speaker 1: fit the description of my nephew's father and I thought

1014
00:42:45,080 --> 00:42:47,200
Speaker 1: he had the right to know. He was obviously upset,

1015
00:42:47,280 --> 00:42:51,080
Speaker 1: demanding all kind of information Alexander's daub a picture. He

1016
00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:53,840
Speaker 1: wanted to talk to Cherry, but obviously that could have happened.

1017
00:42:53,840 --> 00:42:55,880
Speaker 1: He did accuse me of being out for money, but

1018
00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:58,359
Speaker 1: simmerdown when I told him this was a you ought

1019
00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:00,399
Speaker 1: to know thing and if he walked out, I would

1020
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:03,040
Speaker 1: not follow him or contact him. Then he calmed down

1021
00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:06,120
Speaker 1: and he said he would have a blood test done immediately.

1022
00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:09,040
Speaker 1: Within a week, the results were back, saying that we

1023
00:43:09,040 --> 00:43:12,800
Speaker 1: were both afraid of Alexander was his son?

1024
00:43:13,160 --> 00:43:17,400
Speaker 4: Oh okay, so we've gets SUSPICI since confirmed.

1025
00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:22,920
Speaker 1: Since then we have formed a weird co parenting arrangement.

1026
00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:26,680
Speaker 1: He's adamant that he doesn't want to take Alexander away,

1027
00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:29,520
Speaker 1: but he is equally adamant that he'd be in his life.

1028
00:43:29,560 --> 00:43:32,399
Speaker 1: But I'm not a monster. I won't do that to him.

1029
00:43:32,440 --> 00:43:35,200
Speaker 1: At first, I think he wanted full custody, but after

1030
00:43:35,239 --> 00:43:37,960
Speaker 1: seeing alex and our home and how attached we are.

1031
00:43:38,080 --> 00:43:40,640
Speaker 1: He has dropped that idea completely and now is hoping

1032
00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:43,160
Speaker 1: to build up visitation and do a fifty to fifty

1033
00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:45,040
Speaker 1: one day. We have left the lawyers out of this

1034
00:43:45,239 --> 00:43:50,319
Speaker 1: so far true your title money he could. I don't know.

1035
00:43:51,200 --> 00:43:53,239
Speaker 1: I don't know how about leaving the lawyers out.

1036
00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:57,279
Speaker 4: I just feel like, well, in the first place, this

1037
00:43:57,360 --> 00:44:00,040
Speaker 4: guy's got better lawyers than you. Oh yeah, so it

1038
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:02,160
Speaker 4: doesn't matter. Like if you bring lawyers into it, you're

1039
00:44:02,160 --> 00:44:05,000
Speaker 4: getting screwed anyway. And you know what's the You're gonna say,

1040
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:07,840
Speaker 4: the kid needs his mom that's raised him his whole life,

1041
00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:09,320
Speaker 4: and you should not take him away.

1042
00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:11,799
Speaker 5: And then what's gonna happen? Like one day it's like,

1043
00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:12,359
Speaker 5: come on, I.

1044
00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:15,799
Speaker 4: Think we're all in agreement among all the parties there. Yeah,

1045
00:44:15,920 --> 00:44:19,080
Speaker 4: it's just, hey, look at this cool thing that can happen.

1046
00:44:19,520 --> 00:44:21,759
Speaker 4: Now you can see your kid and he can see

1047
00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:25,319
Speaker 4: his dad, and I'm his mom still and you're not

1048
00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:26,279
Speaker 4: gonna just take him.

1049
00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:30,279
Speaker 1: But it's good. Alexander is excited to see him now.

1050
00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:33,120
Speaker 1: He comes regularly every day. When they first met, he

1051
00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:35,880
Speaker 1: refused to speak and cried when he picked him up

1052
00:44:35,880 --> 00:44:38,799
Speaker 1: and talks about his dad fairly often the past week.

1053
00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:41,160
Speaker 1: I am still nervous and scared, but this may be

1054
00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:43,919
Speaker 1: a good thing. I hope update too.

1055
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:44,760
Speaker 5: Oh boy.

1056
00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:47,600
Speaker 1: In the past month, Alexander and his father have grown

1057
00:44:47,640 --> 00:44:50,960
Speaker 1: closer and he has become an integral part of our lives.

1058
00:44:51,120 --> 00:44:54,560
Speaker 1: There are a lot of advantages to having someone help out. However,

1059
00:44:54,719 --> 00:44:58,319
Speaker 1: some problems have recently come out about and I am

1060
00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:02,520
Speaker 1: flummoxed about how to. I can't really take their relationship back,

1061
00:45:02,560 --> 00:45:05,160
Speaker 1: and I wouldn't want to if I could, so I

1062
00:45:05,239 --> 00:45:09,279
Speaker 1: need advice that encourages Alexander having both of us in

1063
00:45:09,360 --> 00:45:12,120
Speaker 1: his life. It started, ironically, the day I posted the

1064
00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:15,880
Speaker 1: second update, my car died on the highway. From picking

1065
00:45:15,880 --> 00:45:18,440
Speaker 1: Alexander up from K through three. I called him to

1066
00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:20,720
Speaker 1: let his dad know we would be running late for dinner.

1067
00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:23,320
Speaker 1: His dad was furious. He claimed my car was unsafe

1068
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:26,120
Speaker 1: and unreliable and said I could not drive his son

1069
00:45:26,160 --> 00:45:28,400
Speaker 1: around in it. I explained that this was a minor

1070
00:45:28,480 --> 00:45:31,040
Speaker 1: issue and it will be fixed, and that not everyone

1071
00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:34,760
Speaker 1: could afford brand new cars, and even with maintenance, crap happens.

1072
00:45:34,840 --> 00:45:37,720
Speaker 1: He was not appeased. He proceeded to drop a car

1073
00:45:37,760 --> 00:45:40,640
Speaker 1: off at my house the next day without asking my opinion.

1074
00:45:40,760 --> 00:45:43,160
Speaker 1: This is a very expensive car, and I would have

1075
00:45:43,239 --> 00:45:45,280
Speaker 1: never bought it. I told him I didn't want the car,

1076
00:45:45,320 --> 00:45:48,120
Speaker 1: which he caused another fight and offended him. I ended

1077
00:45:48,200 --> 00:45:50,319
Speaker 1: up accepting it to keep the peace, and when he

1078
00:45:50,400 --> 00:45:53,280
Speaker 1: informed me that I can consider it basically child support,

1079
00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:56,360
Speaker 1: which I am not entitled to. He also mentioned maybe

1080
00:45:56,400 --> 00:45:59,000
Speaker 1: we should go to the lawyers so he wouldn't have

1081
00:45:59,160 --> 00:46:02,719
Speaker 1: to worry about Alexander's leaving below his standards and being

1082
00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:03,680
Speaker 1: unsafe in cars.

1083
00:46:03,960 --> 00:46:09,200
Speaker 4: Okay, buddy, oh no, that's not like a new Mercedes

1084
00:46:09,320 --> 00:46:11,479
Speaker 4: is a dangerous car. Yeah.

1085
00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:13,759
Speaker 1: I don't like this is how this is going. That

1086
00:46:13,760 --> 00:46:16,080
Speaker 1: that first conversation should have been a red flag. I

1087
00:46:16,160 --> 00:46:18,640
Speaker 1: was just thinking that he was shocked and accusing.

1088
00:46:18,239 --> 00:46:20,319
Speaker 4: But yeah, I was letting him off on that too,

1089
00:46:20,360 --> 00:46:22,040
Speaker 4: of like the you just want my money and then

1090
00:46:22,160 --> 00:46:24,560
Speaker 4: being like okay, okay, actually okay, but it's like, yeah,

1091
00:46:24,680 --> 00:46:27,160
Speaker 4: it's it is a big red flag if that's the

1092
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:31,399
Speaker 4: first thing this guy jumps to. That's foundationally like how

1093
00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:36,240
Speaker 4: he views life through that first it's all money, first value,

1094
00:46:36,280 --> 00:46:38,040
Speaker 4: first quality, first of.

1095
00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:41,200
Speaker 1: My material goods. Yeah, which you know, I feel like

1096
00:46:41,239 --> 00:46:43,839
Speaker 1: he's slowly coming up with ways to get his son

1097
00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:46,239
Speaker 1: in full custody. Oh you have an unsafe car. Oh

1098
00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:50,799
Speaker 1: you're a single mother. Oh yeah, not looking good. Not

1099
00:46:51,040 --> 00:46:53,840
Speaker 1: looking good. This was my first clue that I was

1100
00:46:53,880 --> 00:46:57,399
Speaker 1: sharing child with someone who, while I personally like a lot,

1101
00:46:57,520 --> 00:46:59,920
Speaker 1: has a lot more power than I do. Our next

1102
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:03,480
Speaker 1: incident occurred last week when Alex fell from the jungle

1103
00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:05,640
Speaker 1: gym and heard his wrist at school. He goes to

1104
00:47:05,719 --> 00:47:09,080
Speaker 1: a very good K through three with certified teachers and

1105
00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:11,759
Speaker 1: camera access for parents. It may not be rich, but

1106
00:47:11,760 --> 00:47:14,520
Speaker 1: I have prioritized him being in a good environment. Dude,

1107
00:47:14,560 --> 00:47:17,360
Speaker 1: awesome aunt, Oh my gosh. I called Alex's dad again

1108
00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:19,880
Speaker 1: to let him know that Alex had fallen and we

1109
00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:22,239
Speaker 1: were getting his risks X rayed, and he rushed down

1110
00:47:22,280 --> 00:47:25,440
Speaker 1: immediately leaving work. He was very upset, and after we

1111
00:47:25,480 --> 00:47:28,279
Speaker 1: got home and Alex was in bed, kept saying that

1112
00:47:28,480 --> 00:47:32,200
Speaker 1: he was obviously not being watched correctly, and a boy

1113
00:47:32,360 --> 00:47:34,479
Speaker 1: this young needed to be at home with his mother,

1114
00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:38,440
Speaker 1: not being ignored by strangers and also not being around

1115
00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:41,640
Speaker 1: other kids and having a good social structure, and should

1116
00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:44,000
Speaker 1: be at home with a tradwife.

1117
00:47:44,040 --> 00:47:48,120
Speaker 4: Wait, I'm sorry, did he just did this man just

1118
00:47:48,360 --> 00:47:50,920
Speaker 4: deny the importance of like preschool?

1119
00:47:51,040 --> 00:47:53,480
Speaker 1: I told him all the lovely things about the school,

1120
00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:56,200
Speaker 1: but he then decided it must not be nice enough.

1121
00:47:56,239 --> 00:47:58,200
Speaker 1: He asked me what if it had been his neck?

1122
00:47:58,320 --> 00:48:01,239
Speaker 1: He understood that I didn't have any other choices, but

1123
00:48:01,520 --> 00:48:03,520
Speaker 1: now I did. He went to the school for the

1124
00:48:03,600 --> 00:48:06,279
Speaker 1: day and was mostly soothed, but he still tried to

1125
00:48:06,320 --> 00:48:08,040
Speaker 1: ask if I wanted to work part time so he

1126
00:48:08,080 --> 00:48:10,520
Speaker 1: could pay the difference. I told him no, and he

1127
00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:12,600
Speaker 1: has not brought it up since then. So we have

1128
00:48:12,719 --> 00:48:15,840
Speaker 1: had two differences of opinions this past month. But the

1129
00:48:15,840 --> 00:48:19,600
Speaker 1: biggest issues happened yesterday when he mentioned that for Christmas

1130
00:48:19,640 --> 00:48:23,040
Speaker 1: he wanted to take Alex home to his home country

1131
00:48:23,080 --> 00:48:28,160
Speaker 1: to meet his extended family for nine days.

1132
00:48:28,320 --> 00:48:31,120
Speaker 4: Okay, no, I think now is the time where you

1133
00:48:31,120 --> 00:48:34,319
Speaker 4: need to start getting into like legal arrangements, because it's

1134
00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:37,919
Speaker 4: it feels like this guy at any point could be like, well,

1135
00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:41,560
Speaker 4: I'm saving my child from being poor, which is absurd.

1136
00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:44,920
Speaker 4: And if you don't have the trust to be like, oh,

1137
00:48:44,960 --> 00:48:48,480
Speaker 4: this guy will bring my hour kid back after a

1138
00:48:48,520 --> 00:48:50,480
Speaker 4: week and a half, then you need to make sure

1139
00:48:50,600 --> 00:48:53,799
Speaker 4: now that you have the legal you know, frameworks in

1140
00:48:53,840 --> 00:48:56,840
Speaker 4: place to protect your rights as the kids guardian.

1141
00:48:57,000 --> 00:48:59,239
Speaker 1: This is terrifying because a small part of this is

1142
00:48:59,280 --> 00:49:02,919
Speaker 1: he won't bring him back. Obviously, he has a life

1143
00:49:02,960 --> 00:49:05,200
Speaker 1: and a job here. If you want a custody probably

1144
00:49:05,320 --> 00:49:07,600
Speaker 1: could try to get there first rather than leave it

1145
00:49:07,719 --> 00:49:09,960
Speaker 1: all behind. I mentioned how this was a long time

1146
00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:11,760
Speaker 1: for Alex to be away from me, and he said,

1147
00:49:11,800 --> 00:49:14,040
Speaker 1: of course you will come too, but I didn't have

1148
00:49:14,239 --> 00:49:16,800
Speaker 1: the time off work. I try to change his mind,

1149
00:49:16,840 --> 00:49:19,319
Speaker 1: but he thinks that Alex should meet his family and

1150
00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:22,279
Speaker 1: his home country. I would love that in theory, and

1151
00:49:22,520 --> 00:49:26,120
Speaker 1: I completely get how I spend every Christmas with my family,

1152
00:49:26,200 --> 00:49:28,960
Speaker 1: and Alex is my family. I've already spent three Christmases

1153
00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:31,359
Speaker 1: without him. I don't want a fourth. Dude, you only

1154
00:49:31,440 --> 00:49:33,880
Speaker 1: knew about him the last one. Oh, this is a

1155
00:49:33,920 --> 00:49:36,800
Speaker 1: valid feeling on his part, but I'm terrified, and honestly,

1156
00:49:36,960 --> 00:49:40,680
Speaker 1: even if he has no alterior motives, that is a

1157
00:49:40,840 --> 00:49:43,399
Speaker 1: long time for Alex to be away from me. He's

1158
00:49:43,440 --> 00:49:45,680
Speaker 1: never spent a night away from me. What should I

1159
00:49:45,719 --> 00:49:48,600
Speaker 1: do first? You got to get legal things in here.

1160
00:49:48,680 --> 00:49:51,560
Speaker 4: You should say that first. Yeah, you should say, hey,

1161
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:54,120
Speaker 4: that's a cool idea. Did you know he's never spent

1162
00:49:54,160 --> 00:49:57,239
Speaker 4: a night away from me, So nine days away from

1163
00:49:57,280 --> 00:50:00,120
Speaker 4: me with you, a person he doesn't really know that well. Oh,

1164
00:50:00,200 --> 00:50:02,600
Speaker 4: but he likes he doesn't He doesn't know you that well.

1165
00:50:02,719 --> 00:50:05,960
Speaker 4: Not gonna go very well, not gonna go down very smoothly.

1166
00:50:06,200 --> 00:50:09,879
Speaker 4: So either bring me or let's wait a little bit

1167
00:50:09,920 --> 00:50:10,480
Speaker 4: longer for this.

1168
00:50:10,680 --> 00:50:13,880
Speaker 1: Yeah. Update three, We have had some good things occur

1169
00:50:13,920 --> 00:50:16,360
Speaker 1: in the past few days. I told Alex that I

1170
00:50:16,560 --> 00:50:18,680
Speaker 1: was not comfortable with the trip. There was no way

1171
00:50:18,840 --> 00:50:21,919
Speaker 1: I could go, and Alex was just too little. That

1172
00:50:22,040 --> 00:50:25,400
Speaker 1: kind of trip would be stressful under the best of circumstances.

1173
00:50:25,440 --> 00:50:28,640
Speaker 1: He thankfully agreed and apologized. There we go. He said

1174
00:50:28,640 --> 00:50:31,239
Speaker 1: he would spend the holiday state side, but admitted that

1175
00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:34,319
Speaker 1: he would miss his family terribly and that this was

1176
00:50:34,360 --> 00:50:37,680
Speaker 1: his first Christmas away from them, and that Alex is

1177
00:50:37,719 --> 00:50:41,120
Speaker 1: the first grandchild, so they were extremely excited to meet him.

1178
00:50:41,200 --> 00:50:43,719
Speaker 1: I stood my ground, even though I did feel bad.

1179
00:50:43,880 --> 00:50:47,600
Speaker 1: Uh oh. I offered a trial overnight to work towards

1180
00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:50,160
Speaker 1: this big of a step, and he was extremely excited.

1181
00:50:50,200 --> 00:50:52,719
Speaker 1: Alex was also excited. However, he woke up in the

1182
00:50:52,719 --> 00:50:55,640
Speaker 1: middle of the night and was extremely upset. Leander had

1183
00:50:55,640 --> 00:50:59,400
Speaker 1: to bring Alex home and was very abashed. Oh Okay

1184
00:50:59,440 --> 00:51:03,279
Speaker 1: admitted that he had been considering trying to sway my

1185
00:51:03,360 --> 00:51:05,880
Speaker 1: mind on the trip, but now he saw that it

1186
00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:08,520
Speaker 1: wouldn't work. Then we had the real heart to heart,

1187
00:51:08,600 --> 00:51:11,319
Speaker 1: and honestly, there isn't a lot of middle ground. We

1188
00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:14,880
Speaker 1: can't cut Alex in half, and we both love him desperately,

1189
00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:17,360
Speaker 1: We both want to see him daily, and we both

1190
00:51:17,360 --> 00:51:19,719
Speaker 1: are terrified of the other. I mentioned that I would

1191
00:51:19,800 --> 00:51:23,680
Speaker 1: love to formally adopt Alex and stabilize our relationship legally.

1192
00:51:23,719 --> 00:51:26,239
Speaker 1: He said he would never do that because legally he'd

1193
00:51:26,239 --> 00:51:28,919
Speaker 1: be an idiot to give up legal claim to his son,

1194
00:51:29,040 --> 00:51:31,520
Speaker 1: and that right now he had the upper hand. He does.

1195
00:51:31,719 --> 00:51:34,520
Speaker 1: My lawyer admitted he could easily most likely get me

1196
00:51:34,640 --> 00:51:37,279
Speaker 1: fifty to fifty, but that's all half of the week

1197
00:51:37,560 --> 00:51:41,279
Speaker 1: with him gone, and that might go away anytime. He

1198
00:51:41,320 --> 00:51:44,000
Speaker 1: doesn't want to use it, but won't lose it either.

1199
00:51:44,080 --> 00:51:46,960
Speaker 1: He is terrified of me marrying, me moving and Alex

1200
00:51:47,120 --> 00:51:49,359
Speaker 1: loving me more. I'm terrified of him trying to take

1201
00:51:49,440 --> 00:51:52,520
Speaker 1: him away and of not having him here every day.

1202
00:51:52,640 --> 00:51:55,360
Speaker 1: Neither of us can have him completely, but he isn't

1203
00:51:55,440 --> 00:51:57,879
Speaker 1: a possession. He is a little boy, and we are

1204
00:51:57,880 --> 00:52:00,440
Speaker 1: going to do our best to share him and raise him. Right,

1205
00:52:00,520 --> 00:52:03,480
Speaker 1: we are basically strangers, so sharing is hard and it

1206
00:52:03,560 --> 00:52:06,279
Speaker 1: is easy for us to generalize the other. But I

1207
00:52:06,360 --> 00:52:10,000
Speaker 1: do somewhat trust him, and I know that he loves Alex.

1208
00:52:10,160 --> 00:52:12,920
Speaker 1: And we got another update and we are like three

1209
00:52:13,160 --> 00:52:17,560
Speaker 1: fifths through all right, yeah, update four. Well, the situation

1210
00:52:17,840 --> 00:52:20,760
Speaker 1: does not seem to be getting any easier. In a way,

1211
00:52:20,920 --> 00:52:23,520
Speaker 1: having someone to help share the load of raising Alex

1212
00:52:23,640 --> 00:52:26,480
Speaker 1: is wonderful. I can think, oh, maybe Alex's dad can

1213
00:52:26,560 --> 00:52:29,320
Speaker 1: run by the store, or I can read while they play.

1214
00:52:29,440 --> 00:52:32,640
Speaker 1: But despite that relief, I am still terrified. Leander hasn't

1215
00:52:32,680 --> 00:52:34,920
Speaker 1: done anything to make me feel terrified, and as a

1216
00:52:34,920 --> 00:52:38,360
Speaker 1: real gentleman, very quick to concede to me over small things.

1217
00:52:38,480 --> 00:52:41,000
Speaker 1: But that is small things. Just last Friday, I gave

1218
00:52:41,080 --> 00:52:43,200
Speaker 1: him a few hours along with Alex while I went

1219
00:52:43,200 --> 00:52:45,640
Speaker 1: to the movies with a friend. I was excited raising

1220
00:52:45,640 --> 00:52:47,479
Speaker 1: a three year old. Well, I don't get a date

1221
00:52:47,680 --> 00:52:50,319
Speaker 1: or hang out, but just doesn't happen. But this is

1222
00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:53,080
Speaker 1: a guy I know through work. Waite Wade is attractive,

1223
00:52:53,120 --> 00:52:56,120
Speaker 1: age barber and someone who if I had more free time,

1224
00:52:56,200 --> 00:52:58,719
Speaker 1: I would have definitely dated. Now that I have more

1225
00:52:58,760 --> 00:53:01,640
Speaker 1: free time, I do think about dating in a distant,

1226
00:53:01,680 --> 00:53:04,520
Speaker 1: bear off way. When Wade dropped me off, Leander and

1227
00:53:04,560 --> 00:53:07,359
Speaker 1: Alex were already there and Alex was getting ready for bed.

1228
00:53:07,440 --> 00:53:09,840
Speaker 1: I could already tell that Leander was in a mood.

1229
00:53:09,960 --> 00:53:13,080
Speaker 1: When I got inside, I assumed that Alex had been difficult,

1230
00:53:13,160 --> 00:53:15,320
Speaker 1: but he told me he was fine. When he said

1231
00:53:15,320 --> 00:53:18,520
Speaker 1: it after Alex was tucked in. Something that makes me

1232
00:53:18,640 --> 00:53:22,000
Speaker 1: terrified for our coperiting relationship. Well, I don't know how

1233
00:53:22,040 --> 00:53:25,040
Speaker 1: you think you can handle Alex and a relationship. You

1234
00:53:25,120 --> 00:53:27,560
Speaker 1: are his mother. He doesn't need you off with men.

1235
00:53:27,719 --> 00:53:30,560
Speaker 1: I was shocked, and he apologized, saying that he had

1236
00:53:30,600 --> 00:53:33,200
Speaker 1: misspoken and meant to ask me how I would balance

1237
00:53:33,320 --> 00:53:37,000
Speaker 1: dating in the past. He said that was a language issue. Ah,

1238
00:53:37,040 --> 00:53:42,200
Speaker 1: I say, that's nonsense, bs bs. I have never heard

1239
00:53:42,280 --> 00:53:45,760
Speaker 1: him misspeak or misuse words in the entire time we've met.

1240
00:53:45,800 --> 00:53:48,879
Speaker 1: Since then, he's been entirely pleasant. He even brought over

1241
00:53:48,920 --> 00:53:51,279
Speaker 1: dinner and a few small gifts. He's been on his best,

1242
00:53:51,440 --> 00:53:55,480
Speaker 1: most charming, pleasant, perfect nephew's dad behavior. But this is

1243
00:53:55,520 --> 00:53:58,440
Speaker 1: another complication. I really don't want to date Wade. But

1244
00:53:58,520 --> 00:54:01,439
Speaker 1: I want to date someone someday. One day, I'm going

1245
00:54:01,520 --> 00:54:03,759
Speaker 1: to want a bigger life than this. But I am

1246
00:54:03,880 --> 00:54:06,800
Speaker 1: terrified I won't get it. And I'm terrified that charming

1247
00:54:06,920 --> 00:54:10,680
Speaker 1: Leander might not be so charming if I seriously date someone.

1248
00:54:10,960 --> 00:54:13,000
Speaker 5: Maybe he's just jealous, he wants you to date him.

1249
00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:14,000
Speaker 1: Problem. Maybe this is the.

1250
00:54:13,960 --> 00:54:17,120
Speaker 4: Hallmark movie script of your story, and now is the

1251
00:54:17,160 --> 00:54:18,279
Speaker 4: time that you have to go.

1252
00:54:18,360 --> 00:54:20,160
Speaker 5: Wait, has it been Leander along?

1253
00:54:20,400 --> 00:54:23,240
Speaker 1: Yeah? Have you not seen Leander with your gazing eyes?

1254
00:54:23,360 --> 00:54:25,279
Speaker 4: I hope not, though, because honestly, I'm not liking the

1255
00:54:25,320 --> 00:54:28,120
Speaker 4: way he's moving. I don't like the way Leander moves.

1256
00:54:28,239 --> 00:54:29,080
Speaker 1: I don't like his motion.

1257
00:54:29,480 --> 00:54:31,840
Speaker 4: I don't like the way that it seems like everything

1258
00:54:31,920 --> 00:54:35,200
Speaker 4: is always like a way to get more leverage.

1259
00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:38,239
Speaker 1: In the parenting context, my lawyer referred to me to

1260
00:54:38,280 --> 00:54:40,319
Speaker 1: someone else. He said he didn't think you could help me,

1261
00:54:40,400 --> 00:54:42,200
Speaker 1: and I haven't heard back. I'm so sorry to be

1262
00:54:42,239 --> 00:54:44,560
Speaker 1: back at it, but this is plaguing me and I

1263
00:54:44,600 --> 00:54:48,200
Speaker 1: really don't have any other avenues to event advice. Update

1264
00:54:48,239 --> 00:54:52,080
Speaker 1: five background. I have basically been raising my nephew Alexanderson's

1265
00:54:52,080 --> 00:54:55,719
Speaker 1: birth even before his mother's passing. For all intents and purposes.

1266
00:54:55,760 --> 00:54:58,160
Speaker 1: He is my son and I'm his mother. Yes, he's

1267
00:54:58,200 --> 00:55:00,799
Speaker 1: gonna happy, healthy, all around great case, and I feel

1268
00:55:00,840 --> 00:55:02,560
Speaker 1: like I've done a good job. Anytime I doubt it,

1269
00:55:02,640 --> 00:55:05,560
Speaker 1: I look at him and I'm reassured. However, five months ago,

1270
00:55:05,719 --> 00:55:08,200
Speaker 1: I had the opportunity to introduce his father, who did

1271
00:55:08,239 --> 00:55:10,359
Speaker 1: not know about him, into his life. He is a

1272
00:55:10,400 --> 00:55:13,319
Speaker 1: teacher and does more well off than I do. I did,

1273
00:55:13,440 --> 00:55:16,520
Speaker 1: and it's been very difficult situation. I've been trying to

1274
00:55:16,560 --> 00:55:20,040
Speaker 1: deal with this without resorting to internet advice, but I'm

1275
00:55:20,080 --> 00:55:22,279
Speaker 1: at this point now where even if no advice is

1276
00:55:22,280 --> 00:55:24,359
Speaker 1: something I can take. It is nice to be able

1277
00:55:24,360 --> 00:55:26,960
Speaker 1: to vent what is going on honestly, and I don't

1278
00:55:27,120 --> 00:55:29,640
Speaker 1: have to worry about it. I guess I need more

1279
00:55:29,840 --> 00:55:32,439
Speaker 1: in real life friends. It's just hard when you're young

1280
00:55:32,520 --> 00:55:34,720
Speaker 1: and have a small kid, and I was just getting

1281
00:55:34,800 --> 00:55:37,799
Speaker 1: used to not juggling work, Alex and school when this

1282
00:55:37,960 --> 00:55:40,480
Speaker 1: all happened. For the past two months, things have been

1283
00:55:40,520 --> 00:55:42,759
Speaker 1: mostly good. It is nice to share the time and

1284
00:55:42,840 --> 00:55:45,800
Speaker 1: worrying of a raising a little boy. Alex got sick

1285
00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:48,000
Speaker 1: last month and I called in for work. For once,

1286
00:55:48,200 --> 00:55:51,560
Speaker 1: I didn't worry about the missing money or the doctor's bill,

1287
00:55:51,640 --> 00:55:55,120
Speaker 1: because I knew if I did fall short, Leander would help.

1288
00:55:55,239 --> 00:55:58,279
Speaker 1: He came over that night with Sup brought suit but

1289
00:55:58,480 --> 00:56:00,680
Speaker 1: still and say it overnight to help. So when I

1290
00:56:00,719 --> 00:56:03,560
Speaker 1: would have been dealing with a fussy, achy sick boy

1291
00:56:03,600 --> 00:56:06,280
Speaker 1: for two nights, only had one night. He's over almost

1292
00:56:06,320 --> 00:56:09,240
Speaker 1: every day. His favorite adult soda is in my fridge

1293
00:56:09,280 --> 00:56:11,440
Speaker 1: and he texts me about dinner. I think it'd be

1294
00:56:11,440 --> 00:56:14,399
Speaker 1: strange or weird, but it's become our new normal. I've

1295
00:56:14,400 --> 00:56:17,200
Speaker 1: refused outright money, but I do drive the car he

1296
00:56:17,239 --> 00:56:20,080
Speaker 1: bought mine actually caught on fire not too long after

1297
00:56:20,160 --> 00:56:23,520
Speaker 1: the original fiasco. Oh my gosh, so Bro's gonna.

1298
00:56:23,360 --> 00:56:26,520
Speaker 3: Right Coan, Yeah, you know you want to make sure you.

1299
00:56:26,520 --> 00:56:30,360
Speaker 5: May you know, regularly inspect and maintain your vehicle.

1300
00:56:31,680 --> 00:56:34,480
Speaker 1: And when he brings over groceries and things for Alex,

1301
00:56:34,600 --> 00:56:38,360
Speaker 1: I don't eject. And Leander has mostly been an absolutely

1302
00:56:38,520 --> 00:56:41,000
Speaker 1: charming pleasure to have around. I've been leaving him with

1303
00:56:41,040 --> 00:56:43,719
Speaker 1: Alex for short periods of time, like store runs, and

1304
00:56:43,800 --> 00:56:46,520
Speaker 1: have suggested some father son outings for him, but he

1305
00:56:46,560 --> 00:56:49,600
Speaker 1: always insists I come because I deserve to have fun

1306
00:56:49,640 --> 00:56:52,319
Speaker 1: with Alex too, So we've gone on go karts and

1307
00:56:52,440 --> 00:56:54,959
Speaker 1: arcades and go to see the Good Dinosaur and fed

1308
00:56:55,040 --> 00:56:57,640
Speaker 1: ducks and frozen yogurt. Man, it's been nice. I can

1309
00:56:57,680 --> 00:57:01,680
Speaker 1: feel myself slipping into complacence sometimes. I love Alex, and

1310
00:57:01,760 --> 00:57:05,160
Speaker 1: Alex loves Leander. I genuinely like Leander and will consider

1311
00:57:05,280 --> 00:57:08,120
Speaker 1: him a friend, maybe my closest friend, even though I

1312
00:57:08,200 --> 00:57:10,840
Speaker 1: understand it's a little sad considering I've only been with

1313
00:57:10,920 --> 00:57:13,080
Speaker 1: him four months and he could easily take away the

1314
00:57:13,080 --> 00:57:15,680
Speaker 1: most important thing in my life. The most recent compelling

1315
00:57:15,760 --> 00:57:19,160
Speaker 1: factor occurred Thursday night on New Year's Eve. A friend

1316
00:57:19,200 --> 00:57:21,840
Speaker 1: from work we'll call her Lacey, inviting me to a party.

1317
00:57:21,880 --> 00:57:24,640
Speaker 1: We usually don't hang outside of work, but again, I

1318
00:57:24,680 --> 00:57:27,760
Speaker 1: could use more friends. Leander offered to stay with Alex,

1319
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:29,760
Speaker 1: and I thought it would be nice for them too.

1320
00:57:29,880 --> 00:57:33,000
Speaker 1: Although I left after his bedtime and came back at

1321
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:35,480
Speaker 1: one am while he was still sleepy, Lacy picked me

1322
00:57:35,560 --> 00:57:37,160
Speaker 1: up at nine thirty, and it was nice to do

1323
00:57:37,240 --> 00:57:39,440
Speaker 1: something social. I'm not a big drinker, but I had

1324
00:57:39,440 --> 00:57:41,880
Speaker 1: a good time. Lacey had a very good time. She

1325
00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:44,240
Speaker 1: met a guy. When I realized this that we had

1326
00:57:44,360 --> 00:57:46,640
Speaker 1: completely different ideas of a late night, I got a

1327
00:57:46,720 --> 00:57:49,800
Speaker 1: ride home from another coworker, Gregor, who was also wanted

1328
00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:51,680
Speaker 1: a good night's sleep before work in the morning. He

1329
00:57:51,760 --> 00:57:54,320
Speaker 1: dropped me off and we talked for about ten minutes,

1330
00:57:54,400 --> 00:57:57,040
Speaker 1: and then I went inside. Lander was huffy the entire

1331
00:57:57,120 --> 00:57:59,840
Speaker 1: next night. Eventually said he was annoyed to be you

1332
00:58:00,080 --> 00:58:03,200
Speaker 1: used as a babysitter. Well, I went out wanton lee.

1333
00:58:03,440 --> 00:58:06,040
Speaker 1: That was his exact wording he used. I was very

1334
00:58:06,160 --> 00:58:09,680
Speaker 1: upset and explained that first of all, it was entirely innocent,

1335
00:58:09,760 --> 00:58:12,240
Speaker 1: but second of all, even if I did meet a man,

1336
00:58:12,360 --> 00:58:14,480
Speaker 1: what would really be the horm In that He apologized

1337
00:58:14,520 --> 00:58:16,960
Speaker 1: and explained that he felt taken aback by it and

1338
00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:19,280
Speaker 1: that it was the way he was raised, but that

1339
00:58:19,400 --> 00:58:22,280
Speaker 1: he doesn't usually let that be his lens for the world.

1340
00:58:22,400 --> 00:58:24,479
Speaker 1: He even added that he thinks he used the wrong

1341
00:58:24,560 --> 00:58:27,920
Speaker 1: word misspoke. I think Leander's into you and he doesn't

1342
00:58:27,960 --> 00:58:32,080
Speaker 1: know how to explain it. Oh really, that would be juicy.

1343
00:58:32,440 --> 00:58:32,800
Speaker 1: I don't know.

1344
00:58:33,480 --> 00:58:36,280
Speaker 4: I think he thinks that, like because he's been crushing like,

1345
00:58:36,640 --> 00:58:40,040
Speaker 4: you know, stereotypical success so well that he's like, oh yeah,

1346
00:58:40,120 --> 00:58:41,800
Speaker 4: being a dad's like what, It's not gonna be even

1347
00:58:41,800 --> 00:58:43,840
Speaker 4: hard at all. She's gonna do it and it's gonna

1348
00:58:43,840 --> 00:58:46,160
Speaker 4: be fine. I'll crush it because I'm so like rich

1349
00:58:46,200 --> 00:58:47,200
Speaker 4: and successful yep.

1350
00:58:47,280 --> 00:58:50,600
Speaker 5: And then he's gonna wake up to the fact that that's.

1351
00:58:50,480 --> 00:58:53,240
Speaker 1: Not that works, how that works at all. English is

1352
00:58:53,240 --> 00:58:57,120
Speaker 1: a second language. However, I've never heard him misspeak before.

1353
00:58:57,320 --> 00:59:00,240
Speaker 1: He is very eloquent and barely has an accent, and

1354
00:59:00,280 --> 00:59:03,160
Speaker 1: he uses English for his business. He offered to take

1355
00:59:03,200 --> 00:59:05,480
Speaker 1: me to dinner without Alex to talk more about it,

1356
00:59:05,520 --> 00:59:08,680
Speaker 1: but I felt uncomfortable. It was unexpected and out of nowhere,

1357
00:59:08,720 --> 00:59:11,400
Speaker 1: and I felt like a dog who had been punted.

1358
00:59:11,520 --> 00:59:14,000
Speaker 1: We're almost on the story, Dakota. Do you have any

1359
00:59:14,120 --> 00:59:15,600
Speaker 1: other thoughts before we close out?

1360
00:59:15,680 --> 00:59:17,360
Speaker 4: I think you can really just like put it on

1361
00:59:17,520 --> 00:59:19,120
Speaker 4: the table and be like, hey, so it really feels

1362
00:59:19,120 --> 00:59:21,840
Speaker 4: like you treat me differently because like we're not in

1363
00:59:21,880 --> 00:59:22,960
Speaker 4: the same tax bracket.

1364
00:59:23,080 --> 00:59:23,480
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1365
00:59:23,520 --> 00:59:27,000
Speaker 4: And I want you to know that my financial status

1366
00:59:27,120 --> 00:59:29,280
Speaker 4: has no impact on my ability to be a good

1367
00:59:29,400 --> 00:59:31,360
Speaker 4: parent to this shot.

1368
00:59:31,440 --> 00:59:31,680
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1369
00:59:31,760 --> 00:59:34,200
Speaker 4: So I would appreciate it if you stop sort of

1370
00:59:34,360 --> 00:59:37,600
Speaker 4: hinting or implying those things, because it's just not true.

1371
00:59:37,600 --> 00:59:39,280
Speaker 4: Because you could take the kid in, he could spend

1372
00:59:39,320 --> 00:59:41,280
Speaker 4: a weekend at your house and he'd come back traumatized

1373
00:59:41,280 --> 00:59:43,520
Speaker 4: because you have no idea how to take care of him.

1374
00:59:43,560 --> 00:59:45,400
Speaker 1: It sounds like he's taking all right care of him,

1375
00:59:45,400 --> 00:59:47,960
Speaker 1: but yeah, I don't know. There's a lot of miscommunication.

1376
00:59:48,160 --> 00:59:51,000
Speaker 1: He's back on his best behavior, but I can't erase

1377
00:59:51,040 --> 00:59:53,400
Speaker 1: that from my mind. I feel like, if something so

1378
00:59:53,520 --> 00:59:56,320
Speaker 1: small can jeffrasize his view of me, not to mention

1379
00:59:56,480 --> 00:59:58,200
Speaker 1: it brings up the fact that one day I will

1380
00:59:58,240 --> 01:00:00,600
Speaker 1: probably want to day meets someone in May Mary, et cetera.

1381
01:00:00,800 --> 01:00:03,320
Speaker 1: I can't see Leander ever being okay with another man

1382
01:00:03,400 --> 01:00:06,160
Speaker 1: being so prominent in his son's life. I don't know

1383
01:00:06,200 --> 01:00:08,720
Speaker 1: what to think of all this. I'm still really low

1384
01:00:08,880 --> 01:00:11,440
Speaker 1: on options, and honestly, I'm not even sure how to

1385
01:00:11,480 --> 01:00:13,960
Speaker 1: phrase this all into a question. I am half hoping

1386
01:00:14,000 --> 01:00:17,440
Speaker 1: that someone will type out a thoughtful, solution filled response.

1387
01:00:17,600 --> 01:00:22,160
Speaker 1: And you got a thoughtful solution filled podcast, dude, right here,

1388
01:00:22,200 --> 01:00:24,520
Speaker 1: giving you awesome things to do. I know you got

1389
01:00:24,520 --> 01:00:26,720
Speaker 1: to togical Leander be like, yop is, how was gonna run?

1390
01:00:26,760 --> 01:00:28,200
Speaker 1: This is what I want for my kid, and I

1391
01:00:28,280 --> 01:00:31,240
Speaker 1: understand you're his dad. Yeah, but we don't merely have

1392
01:00:31,320 --> 01:00:34,360
Speaker 1: that many options to complete stranger's co parenting.

1393
01:00:34,160 --> 01:00:37,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, Hey, it's Sam. We're go get back to the stories.

1394
01:00:37,680 --> 01:00:39,560
Speaker 2: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

1395
01:00:40,160 --> 01:00:43,240
Speaker 4: I used to admire my grandmother, but it changed in

1396
01:00:43,320 --> 01:00:44,640
Speaker 4: the blink of an eye.

1397
01:00:44,800 --> 01:00:45,800
Speaker 1: What did you do, Granny?

1398
01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:48,120
Speaker 4: I'm a twenty year old female who has a deep

1399
01:00:48,200 --> 01:00:52,080
Speaker 4: rooted rage against one of my relatives, Brenda and her husband.

1400
01:00:52,120 --> 01:00:55,680
Speaker 4: Brenda is my maternal grandmother's sister, and she is close

1401
01:00:55,720 --> 01:00:57,760
Speaker 4: to our family. By the way, this comes from us

1402
01:00:57,880 --> 01:01:00,360
Speaker 4: Okay Accountant ninety five twenty and if you some of

1403
01:01:00,400 --> 01:01:03,080
Speaker 4: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.

1404
01:01:03,160 --> 01:01:06,920
Speaker 4: So Brenda had always been cold towards my mother and uncle.

1405
01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:09,160
Speaker 4: The reason for her behavior was due to my grandfather

1406
01:01:09,240 --> 01:01:12,320
Speaker 4: and not being as rich as Brenda's husband. Brenda would

1407
01:01:12,320 --> 01:01:15,040
Speaker 4: always do petty things to hurt my family. After my

1408
01:01:15,120 --> 01:01:18,320
Speaker 4: mom was married to my father, Brenda expressed her coldness

1409
01:01:18,320 --> 01:01:20,680
Speaker 4: to my father too. My father never liked her or

1410
01:01:20,720 --> 01:01:23,400
Speaker 4: her husband and always kept his distance. One time, my

1411
01:01:23,440 --> 01:01:26,320
Speaker 4: father had a heart attack and Brenda and her husband

1412
01:01:26,360 --> 01:01:28,080
Speaker 4: offered my mom and me to stay with her. I

1413
01:01:28,160 --> 01:01:30,320
Speaker 4: was just thirteen years old, and since my mom had

1414
01:01:30,320 --> 01:01:32,840
Speaker 4: to travel every day to the hospital, she accepted her offer,

1415
01:01:32,920 --> 01:01:35,480
Speaker 4: and we stayed with her until my father got discharged.

1416
01:01:35,560 --> 01:01:37,400
Speaker 1: All right, that's pretty solid.

1417
01:01:37,480 --> 01:01:40,280
Speaker 4: I mean, that's kind of a sweet move, But knowing

1418
01:01:40,280 --> 01:01:42,840
Speaker 4: how her personality is, I bet that was like pulling teeth.

1419
01:01:42,960 --> 01:01:45,760
Speaker 4: During that time, Brenda's husband made an arrangement so that

1420
01:01:45,880 --> 01:01:49,360
Speaker 4: his office would pay my school's hefty readmission fee for

1421
01:01:49,440 --> 01:01:52,640
Speaker 4: that year. I was extremely grateful to Brenda and her

1422
01:01:52,680 --> 01:01:55,040
Speaker 4: husband for that. My mom and I both told everyone

1423
01:01:55,080 --> 01:01:57,080
Speaker 4: we knew how great of a help Brenda has been.

1424
01:01:57,160 --> 01:01:59,560
Speaker 4: I was prepared to stay obliged to them for the

1425
01:01:59,600 --> 01:02:00,440
Speaker 4: rest of my life.

1426
01:02:00,480 --> 01:02:02,720
Speaker 5: However, my view on them was about to change.

1427
01:02:02,800 --> 01:02:05,480
Speaker 4: After a few days, when my father was discharged, I

1428
01:02:05,520 --> 01:02:08,280
Speaker 4: went to Brenda's place with my mother. Brenda started making

1429
01:02:08,320 --> 01:02:11,440
Speaker 4: comments on how my mom was stupid. She remarked how

1430
01:02:11,440 --> 01:02:14,960
Speaker 4: my mother had consumed all my father's money and everything

1431
01:02:15,120 --> 01:02:17,960
Speaker 4: was her fault. She even said my mother was dumber

1432
01:02:17,960 --> 01:02:18,959
Speaker 4: than a six year old.

1433
01:02:19,120 --> 01:02:20,920
Speaker 1: Oh, okay, there she is.

1434
01:02:21,200 --> 01:02:23,520
Speaker 5: These comments made something inside me.

1435
01:02:24,000 --> 01:02:26,919
Speaker 4: Burn I came home and told my parents I never

1436
01:02:26,960 --> 01:02:29,400
Speaker 4: wished to visit Brenda again. I told them how I

1437
01:02:29,440 --> 01:02:32,040
Speaker 4: was grateful to her, but still would never be able

1438
01:02:32,080 --> 01:02:32,800
Speaker 4: to put up with her.

1439
01:02:32,840 --> 01:02:33,600
Speaker 1: Ill behavior.

1440
01:02:33,680 --> 01:02:36,600
Speaker 4: Both of my parents supported me and respected my decision.

1441
01:02:36,760 --> 01:02:39,440
Speaker 4: After some time, I, along with my family, went to

1442
01:02:39,480 --> 01:02:42,240
Speaker 4: an event where Brenda was present. The whole day, she

1443
01:02:42,360 --> 01:02:46,080
Speaker 4: was complimenting my cousin, Lily, my uncle's daughter, on how

1444
01:02:46,200 --> 01:02:49,520
Speaker 4: beautiful and nice she is, and Brenda was doing all

1445
01:02:49,560 --> 01:02:52,120
Speaker 4: of this in front of me. Mind you, I was

1446
01:02:52,240 --> 01:02:55,640
Speaker 4: fifteen at the time. I realized Brenda had two intentions.

1447
01:02:55,760 --> 01:02:58,480
Speaker 4: One was hurting me, as I knew she gained immense

1448
01:02:58,520 --> 01:03:01,880
Speaker 4: satisfaction from hurting people who she sees as inferior to her.

1449
01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:04,560
Speaker 4: The other, and the main reason, was my uncle now

1450
01:03:04,600 --> 01:03:06,840
Speaker 4: was in a better position than Brenda financially.

1451
01:03:07,040 --> 01:03:08,840
Speaker 3: Oh, it's all about.

1452
01:03:08,560 --> 01:03:10,880
Speaker 1: The money, money, money, money.

1453
01:03:11,120 --> 01:03:14,160
Speaker 4: My uncle was forever ignored by Brenda when he was poor,

1454
01:03:14,200 --> 01:03:17,360
Speaker 4: but now suddenly his daughter is her favorite. Lily is

1455
01:03:17,360 --> 01:03:19,280
Speaker 4: a pure soul and I love her deeply, so I

1456
01:03:19,360 --> 01:03:22,120
Speaker 4: never told her about Brenda's intentions, as I'm afraid it

1457
01:03:22,160 --> 01:03:24,640
Speaker 4: would break her heart. Oh, PE's a little angel baby.

1458
01:03:24,680 --> 01:03:27,080
Speaker 4: A year later, there was a gathering at Brenda's place

1459
01:03:27,200 --> 01:03:29,880
Speaker 4: which my family was invited to. Both me and my

1460
01:03:29,960 --> 01:03:33,560
Speaker 4: father refused to go. Upon hearing this, my grandma started

1461
01:03:33,560 --> 01:03:35,440
Speaker 4: telling me how it would make her sad and I

1462
01:03:35,440 --> 01:03:37,600
Speaker 4: should go for her. I told her how I would

1463
01:03:37,640 --> 01:03:39,800
Speaker 4: never go to a place where I would be insulted,

1464
01:03:39,880 --> 01:03:42,240
Speaker 4: and if it made her sad, it wasn't my problem.

1465
01:03:42,320 --> 01:03:44,560
Speaker 4: My grandma told Brenda that I wasn't coming to which

1466
01:03:44,600 --> 01:03:48,200
Speaker 4: Brenda called me and requested me dearly. I felt bad

1467
01:03:48,320 --> 01:03:49,280
Speaker 4: and decided.

1468
01:03:48,880 --> 01:03:50,000
Speaker 1: To go peer pressure.

1469
01:03:50,440 --> 01:03:52,560
Speaker 4: Well, it's peer pressure, and it's also like, you know,

1470
01:03:52,600 --> 01:03:55,160
Speaker 4: this person did do you a huge solid. It's like

1471
01:03:55,440 --> 01:03:58,560
Speaker 4: they paid for that readmission stuff, so but that doesn't.

1472
01:03:58,360 --> 01:04:01,800
Speaker 1: Give them the right to I paid for this exactly.

1473
01:04:01,840 --> 01:04:04,400
Speaker 4: You owe me this, Like, I totally agree. Come on,

1474
01:04:04,520 --> 01:04:07,840
Speaker 4: it just makes sense that there's like that. I guess

1475
01:04:07,880 --> 01:04:13,280
Speaker 4: I have to like, which you don't. But at the gathering,

1476
01:04:13,400 --> 01:04:15,960
Speaker 4: she started doing the same thing again. We were eating

1477
01:04:16,000 --> 01:04:18,959
Speaker 4: peacefully when she invited Lily to come over one day

1478
01:04:19,000 --> 01:04:21,280
Speaker 4: and that her son would cook a delicious meal for her.

1479
01:04:21,360 --> 01:04:23,960
Speaker 4: They talked for some time and Brenda didn't even glance

1480
01:04:24,000 --> 01:04:27,720
Speaker 4: at me. After their talk was over, Brenda casually told me, oh,

1481
01:04:27,760 --> 01:04:29,960
Speaker 4: you also can come that day. She told me as

1482
01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:32,600
Speaker 4: if I was the last person she actually wanted to invite.

1483
01:04:32,720 --> 01:04:36,120
Speaker 4: Rage built inside of me, and I replied curtly, No thanks.

1484
01:04:36,200 --> 01:04:37,920
Speaker 4: I have my studies to focus on, and if I

1485
01:04:37,960 --> 01:04:40,400
Speaker 4: wanted something to eat, my father cooks it for me.

1486
01:04:40,920 --> 01:04:42,040
Speaker 1: No thanks, I'm good.

1487
01:04:42,160 --> 01:04:46,240
Speaker 4: On the day of my grandfather's funeral, after Lily and

1488
01:04:46,320 --> 01:04:49,640
Speaker 4: her brother, when it was my time for the rituals,

1489
01:04:49,720 --> 01:04:53,120
Speaker 4: Brenda's husband sneered at me and said, is there any

1490
01:04:53,160 --> 01:04:56,440
Speaker 4: other grandchildren left? Feels like a pretty personal shot, but okay,

1491
01:04:56,600 --> 01:04:59,760
Speaker 4: I felt hurt as it was me and my parents

1492
01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:03,520
Speaker 4: who took care of my grandfather on his Lily is

1493
01:05:03,560 --> 01:05:05,640
Speaker 4: a nice girl, but she was never attached to my

1494
01:05:05,720 --> 01:05:07,200
Speaker 4: grandfather as I was.

1495
01:05:07,400 --> 01:05:08,040
Speaker 1: At that moment.

1496
01:05:08,080 --> 01:05:10,880
Speaker 4: I entirely gave up on receiving any kind of love

1497
01:05:11,000 --> 01:05:13,720
Speaker 4: or support from my mother's family except my uncle. I

1498
01:05:13,880 --> 01:05:17,120
Speaker 4: passed my exams with flying colors every time, which bothered

1499
01:05:17,160 --> 01:05:20,000
Speaker 4: Brenda and her husband. Brenda's husband once told me how

1500
01:05:20,040 --> 01:05:23,040
Speaker 4: I was incompetent to take up a field of study

1501
01:05:23,080 --> 01:05:25,200
Speaker 4: and that I would never be able to handle the pressure.

1502
01:05:25,800 --> 01:05:27,000
Speaker 1: Ice for the encouragement.

1503
01:05:27,120 --> 01:05:30,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, I took that course anyway. Later I heard that

1504
01:05:30,160 --> 01:05:33,600
Speaker 4: Brenda's son had taken the same course and couldn't qualify.

1505
01:05:33,920 --> 01:05:37,600
Speaker 1: Ooh ooh, well, maybe you should look at your daughter

1506
01:05:37,640 --> 01:05:41,600
Speaker 1: and asked her that oOoOO, that's such a slam donk

1507
01:05:41,680 --> 01:05:41,960
Speaker 1: right there.

1508
01:05:42,000 --> 01:05:43,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, it was pretty big slammer right there.

1509
01:05:43,480 --> 01:05:44,120
Speaker 1: Ooh.

1510
01:05:44,160 --> 01:05:47,800
Speaker 4: I realized this was the reason why they were demotivating me.

1511
01:05:48,080 --> 01:05:50,240
Speaker 1: I vowed to prove them wrong.

1512
01:05:50,520 --> 01:05:55,320
Speaker 4: The course had four phases, the entrance, the intermediate, the internship.

1513
01:05:54,840 --> 01:05:55,720
Speaker 3: And the finals.

1514
01:05:55,920 --> 01:05:58,560
Speaker 4: His son couldn't clear intermediate, and they were hoping I

1515
01:05:58,600 --> 01:06:01,640
Speaker 4: would get stuck in entrance. I passed my entrance on

1516
01:06:01,680 --> 01:06:04,840
Speaker 4: my first attempt and scored the highest in my coaching.

1517
01:06:04,920 --> 01:06:07,880
Speaker 4: Brenda's husband told me how entrance is very easy and

1518
01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:10,200
Speaker 4: intermediate was the one where I would have the most

1519
01:06:10,280 --> 01:06:13,720
Speaker 4: of the fun. To their surprise, I cleared my intermediate

1520
01:06:13,720 --> 01:06:16,200
Speaker 4: too on my first attempt and scored really good marks.

1521
01:06:16,280 --> 01:06:19,640
Speaker 4: I even received prizes in cash money for my coaching

1522
01:06:19,760 --> 01:06:22,439
Speaker 4: since my score was high. This was the moment when

1523
01:06:22,480 --> 01:06:26,640
Speaker 4: Brenda's husband's behavior changed. He told me how he knew

1524
01:06:26,640 --> 01:06:29,600
Speaker 4: I would succeed and they would always help me. He

1525
01:06:29,680 --> 01:06:31,600
Speaker 4: told me that he would help me to get my

1526
01:06:31,760 --> 01:06:34,840
Speaker 4: internship and I didn't want his help, but my mom

1527
01:06:34,920 --> 01:06:37,160
Speaker 4: told me that if he's offering to help, then we

1528
01:06:37,200 --> 01:06:39,640
Speaker 4: should take it. Since we had no connections and no

1529
01:06:39,680 --> 01:06:42,880
Speaker 4: one who would help us for internship. I told Brenda's

1530
01:06:42,960 --> 01:06:45,800
Speaker 4: husband about my dream firm, and he promised me on

1531
01:06:45,840 --> 01:06:49,160
Speaker 4: his word they would immediately take me in. I was skeptical,

1532
01:06:49,200 --> 01:06:51,120
Speaker 4: so I kept searching on my own too, which is

1533
01:06:51,240 --> 01:06:55,200
Speaker 4: good because Brenda's husband, as I predicted, never helped me

1534
01:06:55,400 --> 01:06:57,360
Speaker 4: and kept on making fake promises.

1535
01:06:57,480 --> 01:07:00,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, because before they said, we always knew you'd make it,

1536
01:07:00,560 --> 01:07:04,800
Speaker 1: You'd always succeed. There's this thing called like aligning your

1537
01:07:04,840 --> 01:07:08,360
Speaker 1: words with your actions. Mm, and I don't see any

1538
01:07:08,400 --> 01:07:10,320
Speaker 1: actions really happening. Yeah. Zero.

1539
01:07:10,800 --> 01:07:13,680
Speaker 4: So I met one of my professors and he gave

1540
01:07:13,720 --> 01:07:15,240
Speaker 4: a number for a small firm.

1541
01:07:15,320 --> 01:07:17,960
Speaker 1: I called there and I got the job.

1542
01:07:18,120 --> 01:07:20,760
Speaker 4: When I informed Brenda's husband, he told me how he

1543
01:07:20,840 --> 01:07:22,720
Speaker 4: knew the firm and he would help me. I told

1544
01:07:22,800 --> 01:07:24,720
Speaker 4: him that everything was done and they had agreed to

1545
01:07:24,720 --> 01:07:27,320
Speaker 4: take me. However, I always had dreamt of a big firm,

1546
01:07:27,360 --> 01:07:29,560
Speaker 4: and going for a small one was breaking my heart.

1547
01:07:29,680 --> 01:07:32,600
Speaker 4: In this profession, connections matter a lot, and this was

1548
01:07:32,640 --> 01:07:34,960
Speaker 4: the reason I decided to take the help of Brenda's

1549
01:07:35,040 --> 01:07:37,760
Speaker 4: husband in the first place. Anyways, I kept searching for

1550
01:07:37,800 --> 01:07:40,280
Speaker 4: another firm. One of my friends helped to forward my

1551
01:07:40,640 --> 01:07:43,880
Speaker 4: CV and I got the job last week after two

1552
01:07:43,960 --> 01:07:46,920
Speaker 4: rounds of interviews. I was extremely happy and informed my

1553
01:07:47,040 --> 01:07:50,160
Speaker 4: previous job. My previous employer never behaved badly with me

1554
01:07:50,360 --> 01:07:53,200
Speaker 4: and even understood me. Brenda's husband, on the other hand,

1555
01:07:53,200 --> 01:07:55,360
Speaker 4: didn't even talk to me. Why exactly, why are we

1556
01:07:55,360 --> 01:07:57,560
Speaker 4: still talking to him? Why are we doing this? After

1557
01:07:57,600 --> 01:07:59,560
Speaker 4: a few days, I heard from another relative how they

1558
01:07:59,600 --> 01:08:02,360
Speaker 4: were curious at me. In the words of Brenda, I

1559
01:08:02,520 --> 01:08:05,160
Speaker 4: didn't go to the job her husband got me and

1560
01:08:05,240 --> 01:08:09,120
Speaker 4: instead listen to my friends. Her husband got me the job,

1561
01:08:09,240 --> 01:08:11,920
Speaker 4: and I am a brat. I was amazed how easily

1562
01:08:12,080 --> 01:08:14,200
Speaker 4: he took the credit for something he didn't even do,

1563
01:08:14,400 --> 01:08:17,479
Speaker 4: and was witching about me at the same time. To

1564
01:08:17,520 --> 01:08:19,880
Speaker 4: make things worse, let me share my present condition. I

1565
01:08:20,000 --> 01:08:23,800
Speaker 4: lost my father a month before. They didn't even care

1566
01:08:23,920 --> 01:08:25,479
Speaker 4: how these comments would make me feel.

1567
01:08:25,800 --> 01:08:28,799
Speaker 1: My thought, Brenda, get your head out of your butt,

1568
01:08:28,880 --> 01:08:32,280
Speaker 1: and Brenda's husband just needs to like chill out.

1569
01:08:32,360 --> 01:08:35,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, Op, I'm gonna say this trying to change how

1570
01:08:35,439 --> 01:08:38,880
Speaker 4: Brenda and her husband are gonna interact with you, You

1571
01:08:38,960 --> 01:08:40,760
Speaker 4: might as well pick up a mop and try to

1572
01:08:40,800 --> 01:08:43,720
Speaker 4: clean up the ocean. Right, It's not gonna happen, So

1573
01:08:43,960 --> 01:08:45,800
Speaker 4: just Stop trying to clean up the ocean. Stop trying

1574
01:08:45,840 --> 01:08:47,760
Speaker 4: to mop up the ocean. You can't do it.

1575
01:08:47,680 --> 01:08:48,400
Speaker 3: It's too much.

1576
01:08:48,560 --> 01:08:51,080
Speaker 4: So just like, mind your p's and q's, keep your

1577
01:08:51,080 --> 01:08:54,160
Speaker 4: head down, do exactly what you're doing. You're intelligent, you

1578
01:08:54,240 --> 01:08:56,559
Speaker 4: got your sourceful, you got yourself, your own job. Who

1579
01:08:56,640 --> 01:09:00,519
Speaker 4: cares if you're fan Anyone who's like agreeing with Brenda

1580
01:09:00,600 --> 01:09:04,280
Speaker 4: and stinky Keith over here, Anyone who can automatically go, oh, yeah,

1581
01:09:04,320 --> 01:09:06,960
Speaker 4: I believe these people. I trust these people, crab. They

1582
01:09:06,960 --> 01:09:09,519
Speaker 4: either don't know you well enough to even warrant caring,

1583
01:09:09,920 --> 01:09:13,559
Speaker 4: or they are on team Brenda and Keith and they

1584
01:09:13,720 --> 01:09:15,320
Speaker 4: You don't need to concern yourself with them.

1585
01:09:15,479 --> 01:09:18,320
Speaker 1: You don't, But I'm concerned with the end of the story.

1586
01:09:18,439 --> 01:09:20,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, let's get concerned, folks.

1587
01:09:20,120 --> 01:09:22,840
Speaker 4: A few days before, Brenda called my mother and told

1588
01:09:22,880 --> 01:09:26,040
Speaker 4: her how she was giving money to every kid except

1589
01:09:26,160 --> 01:09:28,760
Speaker 4: me for the upcoming festival. She said this to my mom,

1590
01:09:28,800 --> 01:09:31,000
Speaker 4: who had recently lost her husband. It never mattered to

1591
01:09:31,080 --> 01:09:33,519
Speaker 4: us if we got the money. However, her audacity hurt

1592
01:09:33,520 --> 01:09:35,839
Speaker 4: my mom. Now I'm done putting up with their behavior.

1593
01:09:35,880 --> 01:09:38,320
Speaker 4: I told Lily how ill Brenda has been treating me

1594
01:09:38,439 --> 01:09:40,679
Speaker 4: and I decided, if Brenda hurts my mom anymore, I'll

1595
01:09:40,680 --> 01:09:43,000
Speaker 4: tell Lily how Brenda used to treat her father. I'll

1596
01:09:43,000 --> 01:09:45,960
Speaker 4: tell her how Brenda never cared about her and never will.

1597
01:09:46,080 --> 01:09:48,559
Speaker 4: I have decided to go absolutely no contact with her

1598
01:09:48,600 --> 01:09:50,960
Speaker 4: and tell her about to be daughter in law all

1599
01:09:51,000 --> 01:09:53,760
Speaker 4: about her. However, I still sometimes remember how she helped

1600
01:09:53,760 --> 01:09:55,799
Speaker 4: me five years ago and feel guilty to do anything.

1601
01:09:55,840 --> 01:09:58,080
Speaker 4: So am I wrong about what I decided? We have

1602
01:09:58,120 --> 01:10:00,719
Speaker 4: some comments comment every one her help it was hollow

1603
01:10:00,760 --> 01:10:03,200
Speaker 4: and worthless because its intent was for her own sake,

1604
01:10:03,280 --> 01:10:05,880
Speaker 4: not yours. Preach yes, perfect, you have nothing to be

1605
01:10:05,880 --> 01:10:08,679
Speaker 4: guilty about. Leave them behind and live your life knowing

1606
01:10:08,720 --> 01:10:11,400
Speaker 4: that they are enraged at your success since their son

1607
01:10:11,520 --> 01:10:14,160
Speaker 4: isn't half the person you are. Just be gracious and

1608
01:10:14,240 --> 01:10:16,599
Speaker 4: kind and refuse to let them bulldoze you into anything.

1609
01:10:16,640 --> 01:10:18,800
Speaker 4: It'll throw into contrast what a holes they are, and

1610
01:10:18,920 --> 01:10:22,560
Speaker 4: everyone will see how superior you are to these crap weasels.

1611
01:10:22,680 --> 01:10:26,080
Speaker 4: And that is a great way to end that story. Really,

1612
01:10:26,080 --> 01:10:27,000
Speaker 4: little crap weasel.

1613
01:10:27,080 --> 01:10:27,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, Hey, let's not.

1614
01:10:28,200 --> 01:10:30,519
Speaker 5: Like slam dunk the son too hard.

1615
01:10:30,640 --> 01:10:32,719
Speaker 1: Maybe he's like too dumb to be a horse lawyer,

1616
01:10:32,800 --> 01:10:34,120
Speaker 1: But like the daughter Lily.

1617
01:10:34,920 --> 01:10:38,040
Speaker 5: No, their son. Lily's another cousin. They had a son

1618
01:10:38,240 --> 01:10:40,400
Speaker 5: that was not very I thought Lily was a part

1619
01:10:40,400 --> 01:10:40,840
Speaker 5: of this morning.

1620
01:10:40,880 --> 01:10:43,640
Speaker 4: Lily might also, I think she'd be another is it.

1621
01:10:43,760 --> 01:10:46,600
Speaker 4: I don't know if it's their daughter or another cousin anyway,

1622
01:10:46,920 --> 01:10:47,959
Speaker 4: but their son.

1623
01:10:47,880 --> 01:10:50,840
Speaker 5: Was the one that was like not doing very well.

1624
01:10:50,920 --> 01:10:53,000
Speaker 1: And that's the end of that story an episode. So

1625
01:10:53,240 --> 01:10:55,280
Speaker 1: if you love us, make sure to subscribe. I mean,

1626
01:10:55,360 --> 01:10:57,640
Speaker 1: we love you and see you tomorrow.