Speaker 1: Hot dogs and tailgating synonymous with one another. Football season. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it still is, at least at the time of this
Speaker 1: podcast recording. That's right, Um, we want you. Although I'm
Speaker 1: a Jets fan, he's really not football season anymore. I
Speaker 1: gotta be honest. You've already moved on. Yeah, I've moved on,
Speaker 1: but I'm not how many days still pictures and catchers.
Speaker 1: I can't wait till February. It's a couple of months,
Speaker 1: and that's another time for hot dogs. Hot Dogs are
Speaker 1: good all year around. Baseball and hot dogs are like
Speaker 1: you know, you can't get much more American than that.
Speaker 1: And we want you to impress your friends with Feltman's.
Speaker 1: Feltman's of Coney Island. We discovered them. We couldn't believe
Speaker 1: the taste. First of all, we couldn't believe the story.
Speaker 1: I told you, my mother grew up eating these hot dogs.
Speaker 1: This is how long they've been making good hot day
Speaker 1: back she listened. She had them when she was a kid,
Speaker 1: and now the fact I get to have them and
Speaker 1: share them with my kids. It's a big thing in
Speaker 1: our family. And my mother got a big kick out
Speaker 1: of that. She's like, I remember those hot dogs. They
Speaker 1: were great, so she made me promise to get her some.
Speaker 1: Now that's right. Feltman's invented that hot dog eighteen sixty seven.
Speaker 1: My mother is not that all and uh, of course
Speaker 1: we all know the story by now. Nathan worked for him,
Speaker 1: and then Nathan left and started that other franchise. But
Speaker 1: the other thing that we want to talk about and
Speaker 1: focus on is that at Feltman's they didn't take any shortcuts.
Speaker 1: They are all natural. There's no nitrates, there's no fillers.
Speaker 1: So that's why it's a cleaner tasting hot dog. And
Speaker 1: it's not as it's not salty. You don't have to
Speaker 1: drink like five gallons of water when you're done with
Speaker 1: how many unnatural ingredients for in developments? Thank you? I
Speaker 1: want to count that again one more time. Zero, thank you. Uh.
Speaker 1: Feltman's of course available at King's Balduci's and now they're
Speaker 1: here at Stopping Shop and if you live near Mrs Green's,
Speaker 1: they're there too. I used to have Mrs Green's near me,
Speaker 1: but they went out of business. Feltman's of Coney Island
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Speaker 1: you'll see what the difference. You'll taste the difference, and
Speaker 1: if you like mustard, Feltman's mustard is designed to go
Speaker 1: with the hot dog. Start up, broken boys, start up daughter.
Speaker 1: They're making noise, daughta episode up? What man number? The
Speaker 1: Brooklyn Boys? Ready, I'm gonna beat Buck. You want to
Speaker 1: go first? I don't brand out all right? The song
Speaker 1: that was my That was my hidden talent as a kid.
Speaker 1: The only thing I was good at. Understand why I
Speaker 1: was hidden. The only thing I was good at growing up.
Speaker 1: Brody was my my my Compared to your ability to
Speaker 1: play sports, I totally believe that was your one skill.
Speaker 1: No I could. I was the human beat box. I
Speaker 1: used to beat box with the best of them. In fact,
Speaker 1: I got a very nice compliment from our boy Spruce earlier.
Speaker 1: Oh he would just summing the hallway and he's busy.
Speaker 1: People say, what do you say about me? He said,
Speaker 1: you had a uh something about a Brooklyn beat, about
Speaker 1: a rhythm. I got Brooklyn rhythm. I got some kind
Speaker 1: of a rhythm. You don't even know what it was. No,
Speaker 1: because we were recording. Okay, let's be completely transparent. Let's
Speaker 1: pull back the curtain, hold on all right. Well, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna call you on something, because call me when
Speaker 1: you Okay. We just recorded an official version of free
Speaker 1: Ship for us. Yes, we went into the studio much
Speaker 1: like you know that. Those are our vocals on the
Speaker 1: No Sleep Till Brooklyn Beast. So we've been singing over
Speaker 1: the original, and it's my fault. I wrote an intro,
Speaker 1: so the part with the shots part um, right, and
Speaker 1: then we've been singing over the original. I wrote a
Speaker 1: parody of the top and then Scary and I sang
Speaker 1: free Ship for us for us, and so I went
Speaker 1: in there to do my track. And then when it
Speaker 1: came out, Spruce was standing there with your boy Mario
Speaker 1: and they applause round of a plus for Scary, and
Speaker 1: he said something about me having He said I had
Speaker 1: an urban rhythm. I think that's what he said, and
Speaker 1: I think he said he had he had, But I
Speaker 1: can't think that as a huge compliment because because I mean,
Speaker 1: white boys can't sing dance. Here's what you did. But
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, did you want to catch that?
Speaker 1: What you didn't get? What did I do? I can't
Speaker 1: I didn't Met a sponsor. Hold, okay, I need I
Speaker 1: need a jingle that says not racist, but racial alert
Speaker 1: because you are Okay. If you were playing baseball okay,
Speaker 1: and let's say a star baseball player said you had
Speaker 1: a good throwing arm, you'd be like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: like uh, I'll say, David right, I'm a met fan.
Speaker 1: David Wright said I throw really well. No a synderguarde,
Speaker 1: I threw really well. Okay, and you'd be like wow,
Speaker 1: because he's he's really good. He knows you're justifying your
Speaker 1: ability to have rhythm because the only black guy you
Speaker 1: know said that you have rhythm. That's what you just did.
Speaker 1: Like keep people like even Spruce said I had But
Speaker 1: that was but that was an unannounced and I'm sorry
Speaker 1: that was I didn't I didn't pine for that. I
Speaker 1: didn't like to say I need you to compliment. You're
Speaker 1: trying to search it for for searching for the words
Speaker 1: you mean unsolicited. I didn't solicit him for coming. That's right,
Speaker 1: it was unsolicited. He came out me. He was like boom,
Speaker 1: I came out of the studio, and that was he
Speaker 1: was the first person I saw. And I took that
Speaker 1: as a huge content you don't have kids, but sometimes
Speaker 1: your kids do things that for an eleven year old, Yeah,
Speaker 1: and you go, that was fantastic. You just threw the
Speaker 1: football unbelievably. Well not notice I didn't say you threw
Speaker 1: it unbelievable, because that's not proper. He said, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: what a great spiral. But it was kind of wobbly.
Speaker 1: But you give it. You give him a little credit
Speaker 1: because for an eleven year old, it was really good.
Speaker 1: You make it feel good. That's what he did to you.
Speaker 1: So you're saying it was a backhanded compliment. I'm saying
Speaker 1: he was like trying to hume me. You up, buddy,
Speaker 1: you up a little bit, make you feel good about yourself.
Speaker 1: I think he I don't think he was that was
Speaker 1: gonna come out of my math. I think that I
Speaker 1: had that. All you did. You went in the studio,
Speaker 1: you listen to the track of me singing it, and
Speaker 1: then you you along with me. You did free ship
Speaker 1: for us. I mean that's not but it was right
Speaker 1: on beat. You're not rhythm. Okay, you're not exactly. I
Speaker 1: thought he was paying me a compliment. If you're now
Speaker 1: you're telling me he's like really making fun of me
Speaker 1: and I like exactly, jay Z there you didn't you
Speaker 1: didn't like you know, but it harkens back to a
Speaker 1: time when I used to to the Human beat Box
Speaker 1: and that was my hidden town, and all your other
Speaker 1: really white Italian friends from the neighborhood told you you
Speaker 1: were good at it. I used to have so we
Speaker 1: used to be in my stoop. A stoop is like
Speaker 1: a dumb kid. No, a stoop like that's not sure
Speaker 1: for stupid. I know what it's. I know it is,
Speaker 1: don't Okay, So a stoop if you live in a
Speaker 1: house that has like five steps to go up before
Speaker 1: you open the door, there's usually a few steps and
Speaker 1: then a little flat area where you'd stand to open
Speaker 1: the door with your kme right, that's a stoop. You
Speaker 1: hang out on it not quite a staircase. It's like
Speaker 1: a broken up staircase with like landing. There's a show on.
Speaker 1: It's really late at night. It's on I think it's
Speaker 1: on NBC, and it's on after uh Seth Myers, after
Speaker 1: Um what's his name? Um the guy used to Carson
Speaker 1: Daily Hawson Daily. It's called it's like Live from the Stoop. No,
Speaker 1: it's called stoop Talk. Stoop or something I don't know,
Speaker 1: talk stoop with cat green leaf maybe yeah, And so
Speaker 1: she just sits down on the steps. I love that.
Speaker 1: And then if you grew up in New York, we
Speaker 1: play again it. Maybe other cities like could be Philly.
Speaker 1: I don't know, but stoop ball, will you throw the
Speaker 1: ball against the steps? Blue the rubber blue ball right,
Speaker 1: which by the way, are made by spald Ding. But
Speaker 1: in New York we called and I have no idea,
Speaker 1: so yeah, so we so that was we were talking stoop.
Speaker 1: But anyway, now we just so we would sit on
Speaker 1: my stoop. I'd bring out the boom box. And then
Speaker 1: when these these rappers of the eighties were doing that,
Speaker 1: when when it was really big to do that acapella
Speaker 1: human beat box thing, I would be boxing along with them. Okay,
Speaker 1: I thought, I thought, I did really well, who are
Speaker 1: you were? Who are you calling in here? Brodie's getting up? Oh,
Speaker 1: here comes Spruce, Spruce on the loose. You know what,
Speaker 1: The listeners love it when Spruce comes for a visit. Spruce,
Speaker 1: we need a jingle for you, buddy. How's it going? Man?
Speaker 1: Have a seat, I was telling Spruce Spruce. I was
Speaker 1: not an order that was telling you to by the way,
Speaker 1: you didn't You didn't need to lean in and do
Speaker 1: the back pad his hand. I love you, and it
Speaker 1: always smells so nice in here. I did to ask
Speaker 1: you what it is, what it is that you wear
Speaker 1: every day that I could smell You're a roma, cocoa,
Speaker 1: coconut something. Yeah, well, I don't like all over no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't wear I don't like colon or
Speaker 1: anything like that. So I just wear oil like after shower,
Speaker 1: or it's a cocoa mango. I listen to cocoa mango,
Speaker 1: coco cocoa. We're having a conversation here that involved you always,
Speaker 1: so you heard us. I was laughing because Scary gave
Speaker 1: me the black guy greeting when I came. Of course,
Speaker 1: of course he didn't give you the man, but if
Speaker 1: he gave you the back path to modify the almost
Speaker 1: he almost punched his heart and David the peace signs that.
Speaker 1: But yeah, so, so I wanted to thank you because
Speaker 1: you paid me a compliment. When I was recording my
Speaker 1: line for the song free Ship for Us, I came
Speaker 1: out of the stud. You what was what did you
Speaker 1: say exactly to me? Right to my face. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so he said it because he he beat box when
Speaker 1: the when the podcast started and he said he was box.
Speaker 1: He says, that was my talent when I was a kid.
Speaker 1: That was what I was known for, my hidden talent.
Speaker 1: And so I said, I understand why it was hidden.
Speaker 1: And he says, he says, I beat beat Box. Well,
Speaker 1: even Spruce said I have rhythm. And I'm like, so
Speaker 1: what you're saying is even the only black guy you
Speaker 1: know said you have a rythm? Right, I'm official spoke person.
Speaker 1: You're making fun of me like you're an expert in
Speaker 1: rhythm because you're black. It seems to think you were.
Speaker 1: You were riffing on me or something. No, I okay,
Speaker 1: what I what the analogy I made? And I'm sorry
Speaker 1: for those of you who are listening and you already
Speaker 1: heard it, but I said, you know, like when you
Speaker 1: have a kid and you're like ten eleven years old
Speaker 1: and they throw football and it's kind of wobbly, but
Speaker 1: you go, wow, it was a great spiral. Good job,
Speaker 1: that's what you were doing him. Hold on honest, hold
Speaker 1: on right, nuts, Gross, you and I we work with
Speaker 1: a lot of singers, a lot of rappers, a lot
Speaker 1: of beat boxers, professional people, but we do our parodies now,
Speaker 1: compare those people. It's cold, Brodie, why are you going
Speaker 1: down that room? Because you know, you're like, okay, it's
Speaker 1: like you're like, you're pretty fly for a white guy.
Speaker 1: That's what he did to you. You're like, oh, you
Speaker 1: got some you've got some street in you. But he
Speaker 1: met like Park Avenue. He didn't mean like a street.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, hailo rodeo driving streets. Yeah, you don't
Speaker 1: have the main man street. Okay, but yeah, and I
Speaker 1: used to beat box. We're hearing that's everybody quiet room,
Speaker 1: got my lips, Yeah, everybody heard you go. Just now
Speaker 1: that's a little sample. That's a loop. That's okay. Now,
Speaker 1: before you give your opinion, how that sounds to me
Speaker 1: like he just did three sit ups and he's out
Speaker 1: of breath, like he carried his groceries up a flight
Speaker 1: of stairs. No, no, no, no, okay, your expert opinion.
Speaker 1: Being a black guy on our podcast, he's laughing his
Speaker 1: ass off because you didn't expect You didn't expect that
Speaker 1: to come out of this mouse. I definitely didn't expect
Speaker 1: that to come out of you. Okay, so would this
Speaker 1: would this be a fair analogy when American Idol has
Speaker 1: those people on where all their friends told them they
Speaker 1: were good singers, and then they come on and they
Speaker 1: suck and they go, oh, my friends told me I'm great.
Speaker 1: You guys are deaf because they've been told their whole
Speaker 1: life that they're good. It's like it's like the like
Speaker 1: the women who are like, not that attractive, nobody like this.
Speaker 1: We want to hurt their feelings. He should be a model.
Speaker 1: Then they go and they don't get the modeling job,
Speaker 1: Like you don't know what they I'm beautiful? Not really.
Speaker 1: So that being said, what were your thoughts on that
Speaker 1: don't work? That? As as a as a fan and
Speaker 1: a member of our regular guest of our show and
Speaker 1: a black man from the South, what were your thoughts
Speaker 1: give me the juice spruce hidden talent? It is a
Speaker 1: hidden talent. It's still hidden. Hero as you keep it hidden?
Speaker 1: That bad? Hold on, go ahead, be honest. Could you
Speaker 1: beat box? I cannot beat box? What can you do?
Speaker 1: What you're hidden? Hold on? No, no, don't deflect? How
Speaker 1: was that here? As beat boxes go? That was a
Speaker 1: beat box? Black? How was a beat box? What was
Speaker 1: your what was your hidden talent growing up? What did
Speaker 1: your head? You were sitting on the stoop with your
Speaker 1: boom box, I would have beatn your boom box. I
Speaker 1: would have beat the box, Beat the box, beat the box.
Speaker 1: So what's the deal? Tell me? What do you have?
Speaker 1: What did you what did you have growing up? Did
Speaker 1: you was there something hidden talent? Or was there a
Speaker 1: talent that that we don't know about that you have? Um, No,
Speaker 1: there's no talent that you guys don't know about. Brody
Speaker 1: probably knows being better than anybody else was playing basketball.
Speaker 1: That's it. That's he was gonna ask you. I was.
Speaker 1: I was. That was my next question. To play basketball
Speaker 1: basketball school every every day from the sixth grade until
Speaker 1: I graduated from college. So you're a ringer, you know,
Speaker 1: if you come out, if you got into the court,
Speaker 1: was that a ring Okay? If you get on, you
Speaker 1: get onto the court, you just like you shoot from downtown.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't listen to him, but how are
Speaker 1: you in traffic? Are you good in traffic? Do you
Speaker 1: box people out in the paint when you're in the paint?
Speaker 1: A little bit of everything? Okay, he's looking up basketball
Speaker 1: phrases on his phone that I was in the paint
Speaker 1: rain threes arad threes with both hands. Yeah, that's great
Speaker 1: you uh well scroll scroll? How was your handle? How
Speaker 1: is your hand? You have a taken to the hole.
Speaker 1: You've taken all swish. I took it to the whole,
Speaker 1: had good handle and I rain threes in. My J
Speaker 1: was tight swish. Okay, what is what is my J
Speaker 1: was tightening? Uh? You know, I don't know your J
Speaker 1: was tight? You're shooting a J. You shooting J is? Uh?
Speaker 1: It's because because the ball goes into J and it's
Speaker 1: all net right, it goes that would that would be
Speaker 1: jump shot now that jump shot J T J. Yeah.
Speaker 1: But if you shooting J, yeah, like, are you shooting
Speaker 1: it from the curve first or the straight pot first?
Speaker 1: He was shooting from the from the from the curve
Speaker 1: right in the J or a small case upside down J.
Speaker 1: So you're shooting the ball straight up? No, you know
Speaker 1: it's it's a curve. It's a curvy J, and it
Speaker 1: goes straight to the curvy J. One of your favorite
Speaker 1: rappers in the curvy J beat box. All right, okay,
Speaker 1: well that's cool. What about Brody Brodi You don't have
Speaker 1: any hidden town. It's nothing. All my talents are very obvious.
Speaker 1: Look at this school not to fold. No, I didn't know.
Speaker 1: I didn't have any hiding talents. That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Is there anything that you are good at that to
Speaker 1: this day, after we know each other all these years,
Speaker 1: what is there something like? Because I've never seen you
Speaker 1: with an instrument in your hands theTimes I used to play,
Speaker 1: I used to I took guitar lessons for a while,
Speaker 1: and I wouldn't say I play guitar. I will say
Speaker 1: that I was. I was probably um insanely good at
Speaker 1: certain video games when I was growing up, right, Like,
Speaker 1: I would not know that about you. Like I would
Speaker 1: go to college and there was a student union building
Speaker 1: that an arcade. I would start a game and then
Speaker 1: the day was over by the time I was done.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I didn't know that I would lose
Speaker 1: like the whole day Pie, Dragon's Lair, and Gyrus games
Speaker 1: from what I went to school. So I learned that
Speaker 1: just now on this podcast, I just learned something about Yeah,
Speaker 1: there were games like Crazy Climber. Like some of you
Speaker 1: listening going, what is he talking about? But I would
Speaker 1: I would, I would obsessively practice and get good at it.
Speaker 1: And I would play so long that I would never
Speaker 1: lose and I have to go home. Like people would
Speaker 1: put the quarter up on the on the counter, like
Speaker 1: to go next. There would never be a next. I
Speaker 1: would just go and go and go and defeat the game. Well,
Speaker 1: the game never got defeated. You just keep going. I
Speaker 1: had to stop after a while because at some point
Speaker 1: MS pac Man gets so fast and crazy that you
Speaker 1: that it beat you. You can have a lot of
Speaker 1: those games are A lot of them are pattern and
Speaker 1: so if you remember the pattern, like oh, the ships
Speaker 1: are gonna come ou from the right, then the left
Speaker 1: and upper right in the box. That's like Dragon's Lair,
Speaker 1: which was the first laser disc one of the first
Speaker 1: laser disc games. Um, I just memorized it, and my timing,
Speaker 1: my reflexes were excellent, and I got really good. And
Speaker 1: I know I play video games now really good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I have an obsessive problem. Yeah, like I already
Speaker 1: kicked you just now. That's why I'm hurting. YEA, wow,
Speaker 1: I can't. I'll tell you what. I can't play video
Speaker 1: games anymore, like uh not long form Like I'll tell
Speaker 1: you I'll give you a story. It was about nine
Speaker 1: or ten o'clock at night at my in low's house,
Speaker 1: and uh they have an upstairs where the bedrooms are
Speaker 1: and the bedrooms and uh so I had just gotten
Speaker 1: Grand Theft Auto two. It was about ten years ago
Speaker 1: whenever it was, and I was playing it, and I
Speaker 1: was showing my wife the game, and she's like, I'm
Speaker 1: going to bed meet me upstairs. Okay. Nine hours later
Speaker 1: the sun came up. I didn't notice it. My in
Speaker 1: laws came down to make breakfast and I was sitting
Speaker 1: there is zoned into that game. I get like that.
Speaker 1: I get obsessive to to solve games, beat games, so
Speaker 1: I don't play the One of your non talents is
Speaker 1: keeping track of time management. Time management is not one
Speaker 1: of my I'll lose myself. So when people like, oh,
Speaker 1: you're playing like World of Warcraft or or you know anything,
Speaker 1: you just getting lost from the game and you don't
Speaker 1: realize what time it is is due? Okay, So IRAQ
Speaker 1: Ultimate h was it? Unreal Tournament? Unreal Tournament is is
Speaker 1: sort of similar to Fortnite, and it's just you have
Speaker 1: different boards. So the board could be in space or
Speaker 1: in a western town or wherever, and we would get
Speaker 1: on this and it's you'd play over a network. So
Speaker 1: he would go on his computer. I'll go on mind
Speaker 1: with ten feet apart. We would fight each other, but
Speaker 1: it was you three of us. M yeah, four of
Speaker 1: us in the same comedy studios. We would finished writing comedy.
Speaker 1: We were done at seven o'clock. It was eleven thirty,
Speaker 1: like I had. I had to get here at five
Speaker 1: the next that's the problem. We got lost in it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So but my friend Iraq, who's been on this podcast,
Speaker 1: he does the Exeric Nego podcast. He he makes up
Speaker 1: with me on UM, I want to say, Saturday, up
Speaker 1: with me on Friday. On Friday he says, hey, hey,
Speaker 1: he had picked up something for me, something that was
Speaker 1: a collectible from my daughter because he's into sci fi
Speaker 1: equipment and he has people that get like the stuff
Speaker 1: you can't find anywhere. So I really wanted with a
Speaker 1: little pop figurines that was a collector's item and I
Speaker 1: got it from my daughter. He got it for me.
Speaker 1: So he says, oh, you come over Saturday pick it up.
Speaker 1: I said, what time is good for you? Is this
Speaker 1: any time after ten is fine? Okay? So at ten
Speaker 1: forty I text him nothing. I text him nothing, I
Speaker 1: call his house nothing. I'm like, listen, I gotta pick
Speaker 1: this up because it's it's Hanakah. I'm Jewish, by the way,
Speaker 1: in case you guys don't remember, and thank you, and
Speaker 1: I need to get this present from my daughter before
Speaker 1: Hanakah starts on Sunday. And I can't go Sunday because
Speaker 1: it's football. Hello. So I'm like, I'm twenty fifteen minutes
Speaker 1: from his house because I was already on my way
Speaker 1: when I texted him. So I go over his house
Speaker 1: and the cars in the driveway, no lights running the house,
Speaker 1: and I knock on the door and his little bulldog mastiff,
Speaker 1: one of those whatever, comes to the door and slamming
Speaker 1: into the glass door. I'm I'm hitting the doorbell, so
Speaker 1: the door's going Don's going crazy and I'm banging on
Speaker 1: the glass and I'm I go outside, blow my horn,
Speaker 1: you know, Brooklyn style, even the Italian doorbell. Nothing. So
Speaker 1: I call him again, I text him again, nothing. I'm
Speaker 1: in front of his house for fifteen minutes, ringing the bell.
Speaker 1: He said he'd be home. His car's there after almost
Speaker 1: twenty minutes. I've gone back to my car I come
Speaker 1: back in the car. He comes out like he had
Speaker 1: been drinking for a month, unshaven, his hair's a mess,
Speaker 1: He's in a ratty white T shirts hanging out of
Speaker 1: his sweatpants. Are you I'm thinking? He has like like
Speaker 1: he's sick. I'm like, hey, man, if I woke up,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. He's like, I didn't. I didn't any
Speaker 1: of the doorbell. Are you okay? I had headphones on.
Speaker 1: Will you listen to music? No? Man? Like eight o'clock
Speaker 1: at night. I started playing Red Dead, Red Dead Redemption too,
Speaker 1: and I this is the first time talking to anybody.
Speaker 1: He was playing and playing online. He got caught up
Speaker 1: in the gate. He he was He went twelve thirteen,
Speaker 1: almost fifteen hours. Oh god. His wife went to bed,
Speaker 1: got up, went out for Saturday to go shopping. Didn't
Speaker 1: bother him because he was in his room fifteen hours
Speaker 1: when he finally heard the dog barking and me banging
Speaker 1: on the door. He had completely zoned out in the game.
Speaker 1: He got it Friday Friday night. He went in start
Speaker 1: playing it, got locked into it. I can't believe. But
Speaker 1: who does that? You know me? That's why I won't
Speaker 1: do it? What is pants along the way. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I guess you can pause the game
Speaker 1: or run into a like a safe room or something.
Speaker 1: I don't know how to play the game. I don't know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and yeah, so anyway, that's crazy. There should be like
Speaker 1: a PlayStation pampers yeah, poop station yea ex bowl have
Speaker 1: to write that stop. You don't have to leave the
Speaker 1: game at all. Oh my god, PlayStation two. You taking
Speaker 1: number two right there, right there? Yeah, so that's that's
Speaker 1: why I can't play those games. He's like, you gotta
Speaker 1: come up and play. I'm I'm not doing it. Honik
Speaker 1: will be over by the time I get out of here. Yes,
Speaker 1: you stay away from video games and liquor. Yeah, same thing.
Speaker 1: I'd probably have a problem with liquor if I you know,
Speaker 1: but I don't drink it. Yeah, that's why staring from
Speaker 1: Eminem's one Eminem, I'm screwing now. You and I don't drink.
Speaker 1: He used to drink for the longest time. He drank
Speaker 1: alcoholic beer, not not coholic. He got Buckler. You weren't
Speaker 1: a fan of Hennessey ever. Wow, okay, and I'll be
Speaker 1: leaving now. You just wanted to no no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1: What you meant to say was Henny, Henny is what
Speaker 1: you want to say? Or some hypnotic or you know whatever?
Speaker 1: You know who you should drink that and lover and
Speaker 1: always Okay, I was that age. I always wanted to
Speaker 1: drink blue things. Yeah, you know, and I thought hypnotic
Speaker 1: was a cool drink. But by the time I came
Speaker 1: of age to drink, I couldn't drink it. It's just nasty.
Speaker 1: Get scared. I gotta ask him if he drinks No, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: that's you know, that's you the yak. That's about the
Speaker 1: crunk juice. Wow, crunk juice. That's that's three calling you
Speaker 1: what what? Al right? Before he offends you any longer?
Speaker 1: You stopping? I need to understand if it's your first
Speaker 1: time listening to us here listening in order, you have
Speaker 1: to realize that Spruce and Spruce and Brody have been
Speaker 1: friends forever and I've been friends with how many it's
Speaker 1: been over decades? Yeah we know, so so we can
Speaker 1: you know we joke like that, Yeah, yeah, you joke.
Speaker 1: Yeah right. Hey, listen, you're the one who said I
Speaker 1: have brother rhythm. Come on, there you go. I pounded
Speaker 1: his fist. Yeah, Dr Joyce Brother, that's brother, typewriter. It's less,
Speaker 1: there's less terms with pounding fists. It's the best way
Speaker 1: to do it. Chest bumping, pounding fists best this time
Speaker 1: of season rather than shaking hands. Can we talk about
Speaker 1: did change topics for a second? Speaking of this time
Speaker 1: of year, people are asking us, Hey, what's the next
Speaker 1: special for Alma Steaks? What's the next deal? So here's
Speaker 1: the deal. Just so you know, Alma Steaks, they belonged
Speaker 1: to a they worked with a company that that that
Speaker 1: got advertising on this podcast. They are no longer with
Speaker 1: the company that gets us advertising for the podcast. So yes,
Speaker 1: so the up and it still gets as advertised as
Speaker 1: we love them. Uh should we mention the name? That's
Speaker 1: all right? Good company anyway, at Almaha Steaks is no
Speaker 1: longer working with them, and so at the moment, they're
Speaker 1: no longer working with us. Now, if you would like
Speaker 1: them too, as we would, feel free to tweet them. Yeah,
Speaker 1: tweet at Omaha Steaks. You guys are match made in half.
Speaker 1: You guys they talk about steak every week. Hold on,
Speaker 1: and it's not because we didn't do well. You guys
Speaker 1: bought a lot of Almaha Steaks. That was our most
Speaker 1: successful campaign in my eyes, all because people were sending
Speaker 1: us their screenshots and you know, Almaha Steaks is one
Speaker 1: of those things automatically you go get me. She had
Speaker 1: to see them go. But if you if you keep
Speaker 1: tweeting the company directly, maybe they'll find a way to
Speaker 1: get back with us, with the new agency that they're with,
Speaker 1: and whatever the deal is, you know, we'd love to
Speaker 1: share that, you know, special Brooks. We don't know what's
Speaker 1: going on, and we really thought they were going to
Speaker 1: hold any more time because you know whatever. But it's
Speaker 1: all so it is the holiday season and everyone's watching
Speaker 1: holiday specials. And I gotta tell you something that my
Speaker 1: girlfriend's object to me to the other night. And you
Speaker 1: can call me a pussy all you want, Brodie, oh
Speaker 1: I will. But it was Sunday Funday football on TV.
Speaker 1: I was watching Football Night in America. I was in
Speaker 1: my bed, she was next to me. Don't buy into
Speaker 1: the average Sunday night. Don't call it football night in America.
Speaker 1: That's what it was called, just Sunday night football whatever.
Speaker 1: And I gotta tell you, I do not like the
Speaker 1: new carry Underwood song. No, I think it's okay. I
Speaker 1: thought that the parody that she did the last five
Speaker 1: years was that was a pink song? No, was it pink?
Speaker 1: Pink to the song? I liked her, she did the parody,
Speaker 1: and then um, I didn't like I like to carry
Speaker 1: Underwood song the last couple of years was okay, I
Speaker 1: don't like the new one. I've been waiting all day
Speaker 1: for Sunday night. That was I but that was a
Speaker 1: poorly written parody. Still was catchy anyway. I was watching
Speaker 1: it and then all of a sudden, she's like, can
Speaker 1: we tearn to something else on during the commercials? But
Speaker 1: changed the channel, and that was the biggest mistake. You
Speaker 1: can't change the channel. Oh look, A very Brady Christmas
Speaker 1: is on from and I'm like, oh joy, something like
Speaker 1: all right to three minutes, I'll watch this thing because
Speaker 1: they're in a commercial, whatever the case. All of a sudden,
Speaker 1: it's like eight minutes in and I'm like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: the game's back on. They gotta flip over. No, you
Speaker 1: can't change it right now. I ended up going down
Speaker 1: this rabbit hole, this hellish vortex, this black hole called
Speaker 1: a very Brady Christmas. Okay, at least she didn't put
Speaker 1: the Hallmark channel on. Good God, listen. I loved the
Speaker 1: Brady Bunch in its day, you know, because I was
Speaker 1: a kid. I was okay with the shallow storylines and
Speaker 1: the bad acting. But man oh man, this reunion movie
Speaker 1: that they made back in it, everyone but Jan none
Speaker 1: the whole new cast. It was the entire show. Uh.
Speaker 1: Cindy Brady was played by someone else because she was
Speaker 1: on her honeymoon at the time. So what a dog
Speaker 1: of of of of a movie it was. It was
Speaker 1: so low budget. First of all, the continuity problems were awful,
Speaker 1: Like they would show the whole cast arriving conveniently. By
Speaker 1: the way, they all arrived to the Christmas at the
Speaker 1: Bradys like within two or thirty seconds of each other.
Speaker 1: That was here. It was allegedly the original house. They
Speaker 1: probably built a set for it to make it look
Speaker 1: like but it was all like look had thrown up?
Speaker 1: Was Robert Reid still there? Everybody was. Everybody was dropping
Speaker 1: like flies. They were looking great. Everybody was looking pretty decent.
Speaker 1: They were looking older. But the point is, so, you know,
Speaker 1: it was really the oldest four are all passed away, right? Well?
Speaker 1: Andy Davis, the Butcher was dead Spoilers and the Dead. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and obviously just recently passed away. Robert Reid died of
Speaker 1: AIDS and everybody else's alive. In fact, the Oliver he
Speaker 1: probably wasn't on the the in fact that they're talking
Speaker 1: about having a reboot next year, The Brady, the Brady Kids,
Speaker 1: they're gonna be doing the original Cat the six Kids,
Speaker 1: They're gonna be doing something so that. I guess. So
Speaker 1: I rant about Barry Williams lately. Yeah. So the point
Speaker 1: is I was so, I was watching it and I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh god, it's just so dumb, Like, you know, they
Speaker 1: each arrive at the Brady House like twenty They're all
Speaker 1: flying in from all over the country to be there
Speaker 1: for Christmas, and twenty seconds later, oh Jan's here, Oh
Speaker 1: here's Bobby. Like but it's so stupid. It's like, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: you all all your flights arrived at the same time,
Speaker 1: and you're all like conveniently dirty seconds from each other.
Speaker 1: And they all arrived at the house. But you see,
Speaker 1: like Barry Williams, like Greg, you know, closed the door
Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden they cut away and
Speaker 1: they cut back and the doors open and Bobby walks
Speaker 1: through it. I'm like, Greg closed the door, but the
Speaker 1: doors open and then dude, but that that there was
Speaker 1: like three or four times the door was open and
Speaker 1: you were missing a football game. I know, I know.
Speaker 1: And I'm sitting there looking for inconsistencies. That was the
Speaker 1: Chargers game. Yeah, it was. I was just I couldn't
Speaker 1: believe it. I'm like, this is so trite, this is
Speaker 1: it was poorly written, it was poor acting, cheap comedy.
Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden they're all sitting at
Speaker 1: the table and and Mr Brady is cutting the turkey,
Speaker 1: carving it up, and all of a sudden he has
Speaker 1: to run down to the UH to the construction site
Speaker 1: because two of the guys in a project that he
Speaker 1: put together, we're stuck inside the freaking building and something
Speaker 1: collapsed and he ran in after that was the tiki
Speaker 1: doll that they had to and he runs in after them,
Speaker 1: and then the two guys come out, all covered and soot,
Speaker 1: and then Mr Brady doesn't come out, and then all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, Oh my god, is he ever gonna
Speaker 1: make it out? Is he gonna make it out? And
Speaker 1: what happened? Don't keep me in suspense of course, but
Speaker 1: of course hours had gone by and there was police line,
Speaker 1: do not crossing. The whole family was there meeting. It
Speaker 1: was like the charges one. By the way, Hey, thanks.
Speaker 1: The point is some of these movies that we loved
Speaker 1: his kids, that you see as adult TV, well you know,
Speaker 1: but but I say it was for different strokes. The
Speaker 1: other day I couldn't believe I watched an episode. Do
Speaker 1: you know they were just Harry Coleman. I'll tell you
Speaker 1: what's the worst, the worst, And if you've seen it
Speaker 1: or you've heard about it, you know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: Of course, obviously the Star Wars holiday special seventies seven
Speaker 1: or eight. How cheeky and cheesy is it? So it
Speaker 1: was right after the first Star Wars was made, I believe, um,
Speaker 1: and it's it's supposed to be about Chewbacca's family, and uh,
Speaker 1: it's horrific. They got the cast from Star Wars. So
Speaker 1: Harrison Ford and they're all in there, Mark Hamill and
Speaker 1: uh you know Princess Leiah. Yeah there's people. Yeah, terrible,
Speaker 1: and they they got they got paid for it. I'm
Speaker 1: sure they got got big bucks to do that. But
Speaker 1: what Harry Fisher about So they're all in it. It's
Speaker 1: horrifically bad, horrific and like the first minute or two
Speaker 1: is actual like but it looks like Star Wars. They're
Speaker 1: in a real ship and it, you know, really real
Speaker 1: looking shop. Don't you remember there as a kid really
Speaker 1: loving it, like shows that were on like Give Me
Speaker 1: a Break and Silver Spoon with delving into a really
Speaker 1: old time period. Isn't going to the eighties. We're just
Speaker 1: saying a lot just doesn't hold up. Now you go
Speaker 1: back to you see some of these things on like
Speaker 1: TV Land or whatever. She holds up nothing, you know
Speaker 1: what holds friends held up? Seinfeld holds up. Okay, I
Speaker 1: was gonna say, Seinfeld, here's the problem with Seinfeld. I
Speaker 1: think it's still brilliant comedy. The problem is eight of
Speaker 1: the plots don't work now because cell phone. I know,
Speaker 1: because we have cell phones. But they can't find a
Speaker 1: car in the parking garage there go to the wrong
Speaker 1: movie theater. At that time there were no cell phones, right,
Speaker 1: but no, they were cordless phones with big intent is
Speaker 1: on them, and Jerry had one in his apartment. But
Speaker 1: but what I'm what I'm getting at Also the office
Speaker 1: to the office, Yes, but in the me Too movement,
Speaker 1: that show could never be brought back true because Michael
Speaker 1: Scott would have been when hauled off, they would have
Speaker 1: meat too in his ask every episode, Yeah, he says
Speaker 1: they're ugly and makes sexual comments to everybody. But at
Speaker 1: least the writing was great on shows like Seinfeld in
Speaker 1: the Office. But but were you when there wasn't a
Speaker 1: Gill against Island. It wasn't supposed to be good. But
Speaker 1: the thing is, But that's the thing. When I was
Speaker 1: a kid, I was the brain of a k and
Speaker 1: so while you were beat boxing in between you beat boxing,
Speaker 1: that's what your brain thought. You thought you were a
Speaker 1: good beat boxer, which we know you were not. You
Speaker 1: thought that The Brady Bunch was a quality television show.
Speaker 1: I mean, it was kitchy, it was fun. But remaking
Speaker 1: and making movies that that was that was a money grab.
Speaker 1: Money grab. But nothing is worse than Star Wars Holiday Special.
Speaker 1: And it's on YouTube. You can watch it. It's online.
Speaker 1: You can find it horrific. So are there Yeah? I
Speaker 1: guess so. But it's just so funny how your perspective
Speaker 1: is so different back then to now because and I'm like,
Speaker 1: what was I thinking? As a kid loving different strokes.
Speaker 1: I mean it was so so corny facts of life.
Speaker 1: That's get off these shows? Man? Is it way before
Speaker 1: most of the people listening this bullshit? And I know
Speaker 1: some of you are in their thirties. I don't doesn't
Speaker 1: matter how old they are. Just doesn't matter how old
Speaker 1: I really think that these shows or whatever. The point
Speaker 1: is you grew up on those shows and then I
Speaker 1: was really young when you both were. That's something. The
Speaker 1: point is that they don't translate well. But if you
Speaker 1: watch talk about full House, of how people know full
Speaker 1: House because they did watch the second one. We went
Speaker 1: and watch the first one, fuller House. I didn't watch
Speaker 1: full House. Full House another show where it's cute, but
Speaker 1: like you, like, what was I thinking watching this every week?
Speaker 1: You were not ever the target audience. I know I wasn't,
Speaker 1: but I watched it, but I was. I was in
Speaker 1: my twin. The bottom line is, don't let your girlfriend
Speaker 1: turn off football or here's an idea in general, not
Speaker 1: just you get a girlfriend of legs football or a
Speaker 1: wife makes life easier. She hates it. Like three games,
Speaker 1: we gotta watch three games today and I have direct TV.
Speaker 1: I watch them all dude, one four and eight done,
Speaker 1: gotta have not Red Zone channel. So about the Red
Speaker 1: Zone channel? You watch Red Zone Red Zone all day,
Speaker 1: all day, one o'clock Direct TV. How do you keep
Speaker 1: track of that SCEP? What well? I mean, you know
Speaker 1: because all that ships going on. They take you to
Speaker 1: this game and they're like, because they go to any
Speaker 1: game that they has line a twenty yard line in
Speaker 1: the red zone, or they'll show you split screen, a
Speaker 1: triple screen, and if you miss something from another game,
Speaker 1: they immediately go to and going if you just missed it,
Speaker 1: here's the long touchdown. And if you like, if you like,
Speaker 1: if you have Fantasy football, this is not a sponsor. Uh.
Speaker 1: Seven h four is the Fantasy Channel with my friend
Speaker 1: Kay Adams who hosts that show with um oh, you
Speaker 1: are so the strikeout with Guru Fantasy Guru. You are that,
Speaker 1: you're the problem. You are the problem. You're ESPN in first. No, No,
Speaker 1: because becautas watch a game for three hours and invest
Speaker 1: in it. I do. I'm a Jets fan. That answers
Speaker 1: your question. I can't see, you can't see watch. You
Speaker 1: can't watch other teams for three hours. I can watch
Speaker 1: other teams. I'll watch monther night football. I'll watch seven
Speaker 1: night football. But if they're if they're in America, hold on,
Speaker 1: stop it. If there are eight games going on, I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna sit and watch the Falcons game. Just I'm
Speaker 1: randomly picking a team, no offense, uh and and sit
Speaker 1: there and watch when I don't care about the Falcons. Now,
Speaker 1: if it's a great team, if it's the Rams or
Speaker 1: the or the Chiefs right now, I'll watch them. But
Speaker 1: the red zone brings me to the action. I don't
Speaker 1: miss anything. I don't miss a touchdown, and I'm playing
Speaker 1: fantasy football, so it helps me by watching all the
Speaker 1: other I got a lot to complain about, and I think,
Speaker 1: go for it. I think I got a couple of
Speaker 1: things on my list here. Remember as my as my
Speaker 1: great grandmother said, you gotta let it out. I'm talking
Speaker 1: about gas though. Yeah. Otherwise it's gonna go. It's gonna
Speaker 1: go right up to your brain. So let's travel back
Speaker 1: into your body. Let me update you on the couch story.
Speaker 1: So if you remember from a few episodes ago, because
Speaker 1: you listen in order, I told you about the couch
Speaker 1: fiasco where they gave me tempesting off my entire order. Um,
Speaker 1: because they brought the wrong chair. And then they brought
Speaker 1: me a new chair, and I kept that one too
Speaker 1: because they didn't have to pay the delivery fate. So
Speaker 1: I made it like a bandit. So I get the
Speaker 1: bill in the mail, and the bill says it shows
Speaker 1: you the breakdown. It says couch whatever. The couch costs
Speaker 1: ten percent off, no problem. Then it says the chair.
Speaker 1: Now we put an oversized chair, which is like a
Speaker 1: chair and a half. It's like a minuture couch. Like
Speaker 1: a chase. No, a chase. You know what a chase is.
Speaker 1: It's the L part of a sofa. Yeah, it's that.
Speaker 1: It's not it's that. No, No, it's not. It's no,
Speaker 1: it's not. It's the long part you put your feet
Speaker 1: up that the L part, Yes, the part where yeah,
Speaker 1: but you can have it. You can have all across
Speaker 1: and then you can have enough that you lay you
Speaker 1: lay straight with you. Yeah, it's not necessarily the L part.
Speaker 1: It's just it could be the L part. You can
Speaker 1: have a chase on a straight couch. Now it makes
Speaker 1: an L. I get that, but that's at the point
Speaker 1: of my story. The point of my story is that
Speaker 1: the oversized chair. I'll tell you for the sake of
Speaker 1: the story with seven fifty dollars right right, So on
Speaker 1: the breakdown of my discount ten percent office, how much
Speaker 1: scary they gave me fifty three dollars. Oh, because they
Speaker 1: did it after tax. No, no, no, after tax would
Speaker 1: be more money. Seven fifty dollars was the flat price
Speaker 1: in the chair. No, before tax. They should have given
Speaker 1: me seventy five dollars off for some crazy reason. Fifty
Speaker 1: dollars off. So I get the bill. I called them
Speaker 1: last night. You can really chasing a dollar. You throwing
Speaker 1: twollars around. I'll tell you what, next time I'll call you.
Speaker 1: You can give me twenty dollars since it's meaningless to
Speaker 1: you rich guy like yourself, single, and I won't have
Speaker 1: to call them. Truth is, I'll still call him and
Speaker 1: get forty four dollars. Okay, So I called him up.
Speaker 1: I tell the guy listen, uh that it says to
Speaker 1: put in your your social city number and you know,
Speaker 1: and it pulls up your sipts. Someone I call, he's
Speaker 1: got all my information. Yeah, I got it right here,
Speaker 1: got the couch in the chair, the chair and a half.
Speaker 1: I said, yeah, I got temper cent off because it
Speaker 1: was a problem with the delivery. Um, where who did
Speaker 1: you speak to? I don't know. It was a month ago.
Speaker 1: You see it on my bill, he says, Yeah, the
Speaker 1: couch yep, blah blah blah off for the couch yep,
Speaker 1: temper cent yep. And the chair he said, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: temp sent off there. I said, so. Yeah, so clearly
Speaker 1: on the bill somebody gave me temperason off. Right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: what's problem? Well, the problem is on the chair. I
Speaker 1: didn't get temper sent off, he says. He was. I'm
Speaker 1: looking at it. You got Tempson off. I said, um no,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to be dice. Yeah, I said, switch yet. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I said, it's seven fifty chair, ten percent of
Speaker 1: that take a to zero off real easy. Moved to
Speaker 1: decimal point one, notch seventy right, you gave me fifty
Speaker 1: three fifty three, not seventy five f No, he goes, um,
Speaker 1: let me let me see this home and he now
Speaker 1: he has to add the couch and the chair and
Speaker 1: then do the math to make sure I got I go, dude,
Speaker 1: I don't understand why you're doing the math here. The couch.
Speaker 1: Let's let's say, for the sake of the conversation. The
Speaker 1: couch was eleven d and okay, all right, it was
Speaker 1: at EXE, so, uh that would be a hundred and
Speaker 1: fourteen dollars, right, So I said, it's clear it's ten
Speaker 1: percent off the couch. You don't need to add them together.
Speaker 1: It's ten percent off of eleven forty. I got the
Speaker 1: one fourteen and ten percent off the seven fifty is
Speaker 1: seventy five. Hold on, I gotta put it. I gotta
Speaker 1: add up total bill. No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: you don't eleven forty ten percent off. He goes, I
Speaker 1: gotta see what temper off the that you were engaging
Speaker 1: in some kind of trickery or some kind of Jedi. Actually,
Speaker 1: he actually says to me, I gotta see what tempercent
Speaker 1: off the total bill is, dude, ten percent off the
Speaker 1: steak and ten percent off the potatoes is the same.
Speaker 1: Aim is temperton off the steak and the potatoes. Like
Speaker 1: you not making any sense, sees, I gotta put you
Speaker 1: on hold. Okay, comes back and he says, I think
Speaker 1: you might be right. I gotta get a supervisor. So
Speaker 1: I say, a supervisor to approve it, or supervisor to
Speaker 1: confirmed the math both? Are you fucking kidding me. He
Speaker 1: should have just lied to you at this point and said, look, yeah,
Speaker 1: give me to understand. No, he tells me both. He
Speaker 1: puts the hold again. I'm sitting in the car. The
Speaker 1: matter to you as long as you get as long
Speaker 1: as you get to the rest of your money. Mom On,
Speaker 1: I got my daughter in the car. I'm driving. I
Speaker 1: want to talk to her, right but I was on
Speaker 1: hold a half hour on my way to pick her up.
Speaker 1: So I'm still on the phone. I wouldn't made the call,
Speaker 1: and these people put you on hold just to funk
Speaker 1: with you. I was very polite to this guy, Kevin.
Speaker 1: That was his name, by the Kevin. So he gets
Speaker 1: back on the phone. He says, I'm gonna credit your
Speaker 1: account twenty two dollars. So I said, make it twenty five.
Speaker 1: He says, what I go round it up because this
Speaker 1: is a long phone call. This is Brodie's way in
Speaker 1: great soda. Yeah, this is you. Gas on the guy.
Speaker 1: I went easy on the guy. Why did you charge
Speaker 1: him an extra three bucks because he had put me
Speaker 1: on hold? Come on, bro because he's beat a man,
Speaker 1: bull ship the funk out of here. Now, I couldn't
Speaker 1: you know what man, this is what This is what
Speaker 1: makes me hate if I was trying to steal three
Speaker 1: dollars from the guy. Okay, first of all, your money
Speaker 1: and how much is my time worth? It was a
Speaker 1: half hour phone call you, so you're saying you you
Speaker 1: get you need free dessert in the phone three dollars.
Speaker 1: I said it as a joke, hoping he'd go for it.
Speaker 1: You know, like when you go, oh, take me to
Speaker 1: dinner and someone goes okay. So I said, why don't
Speaker 1: you make it three? Because I I you put me
Speaker 1: on hold, was trying to get more. They give you
Speaker 1: a finger, you take the hold? What have I got
Speaker 1: your money back on? What have I told? On? Listeners?
Speaker 1: So I had to wear there? Where is there the
Speaker 1: in this specific case must nine at a time? Times?
Speaker 1: I always agree with you on the free dessert? Tell
Speaker 1: was but you're being petty. I'll tell you why why
Speaker 1: not go for front No no, no, no, give me
Speaker 1: car Nope. I didn't need that because I got no no.
Speaker 1: So then you're arguing over three bucks. I'm not arguing
Speaker 1: over it. Listen to me. When I called, they said
Speaker 1: you're wait time will be approximately thirty minutes. So are
Speaker 1: you charging like you know what the thirty minutes was.
Speaker 1: It was twelve minutes roughly of Christmas songs that were
Speaker 1: on a loop, and you celebrating hanakah, Hey rerollvant. I
Speaker 1: like Christmas songs. I'm not gonna hear honakah song, but
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna put on by the way they should were.
Speaker 1: You're offended by the christmasmus I'm not offended by it. Okay,
Speaker 1: So you charged him. The fact is they couldn't. There's
Speaker 1: enough Christmas music that if I'm gonna be on the
Speaker 1: hold for a half hour, they could have put an
Speaker 1: hour of Christmas music on. They put twelve minutes of
Speaker 1: Christmas music on and they fucking looped it. You looped it.
Speaker 1: You looped it, So okay, so you're on. And then
Speaker 1: I had to argue with the guy, not argue, but
Speaker 1: like convince him, what you know what, that's your penalty
Speaker 1: for not knowing what ten percent and seven seven dollars is.
Speaker 1: So it's just stupid tax. You're charging him, charging him
Speaker 1: with stupid tax. But I didn't want to, Like, if
Speaker 1: I gave him ten dollars, he would have to do
Speaker 1: the math, mind blown, So you wanted gave him an
Speaker 1: easy number, so I said, you know, you know my
Speaker 1: trouble just chokingly around. I go, we're good, right, We're
Speaker 1: good right? So he goes, yes, all right, okay, twenty
Speaker 1: five bucks. So I'm just saying, you got fucking balls, bro,
Speaker 1: do at my three dollars. That's sic. Always wanting more,
Speaker 1: always trying. Why should I live life wanting less more?
Speaker 1: Why should I live life wanting less? I'm just saying,
Speaker 1: did you tell your TV story that on the podcast yet?
Speaker 1: Which one was afraid? There is our TV set? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I did. I feel like I did. Yeah, you're broken TV.
Speaker 1: I said you should probably get money back, but I
Speaker 1: wanted to talk about the broken. So just reset for
Speaker 1: those in the case you forgotten because you don't listen
Speaker 1: in order quick version of the story. Here's a quick version.
Speaker 1: I basically got a TV that was a Lemon so
Speaker 1: um I based it was Panasonic and really piste off Panasonic.
Speaker 1: So I called Panasonic and they Panasonic again. Well, I'm
Speaker 1: not going too They're not a sponsor and I don't care.
Speaker 1: They don't make TVs in America, And that's what they said.
Speaker 1: They said, They've got to be honest, we have no
Speaker 1: use for the TV didn't. We used to have a
Speaker 1: receptionist who said, who wasn't she used to work with us.
Speaker 1: She had she was um, she had a flat tire
Speaker 1: down the street and I'm like, where are you and
Speaker 1: she's like, I'm at the building. The building had the
Speaker 1: big Panisana said I'm at the pass buildings anyway. So
Speaker 1: they don't make Panaseni TVs in America. I got a guy,
Speaker 1: a corporate dude, because I went all the way to
Speaker 1: the top right when brody. Because I went all the
Speaker 1: way all the way up, nothing could stop me, nothing
Speaker 1: could stop And the guy on the phone said, I
Speaker 1: gotta be honest. We're out of the TV market in America.
Speaker 1: We are Panislana only TVs in Canada and around the world,
Speaker 1: but not in the United States. That's a fact, ladies
Speaker 1: and gentlemen. They don't make TVs anymore in America. So
Speaker 1: as a result, he was you know what, and I said,
Speaker 1: it was out of warranty. But it's been a lemon
Speaker 1: the whole time, and it was more off than it
Speaker 1: was on. I never got to use the damn TV
Speaker 1: when it was under warranty. Even though it's out of warranty.
Speaker 1: Helped me out, and he said, you know what, we're
Speaker 1: going to give you a gift card for half the
Speaker 1: price of the TV. And not a gift card, we're
Speaker 1: gonna give you cash a check for five hundred dollars.
Speaker 1: Four knew how much you paid for it because they
Speaker 1: looked up my bill. I submitted it and they verified it.
Speaker 1: I got the serial number it was registered. Be honest,
Speaker 1: here's the honesty. Hold on, if they didn't have your
Speaker 1: TV record how much you paid for it, would you
Speaker 1: have embellished a little bit, a little bit? Maybe maybe
Speaker 1: we're good right best be like, yeah it was, but anyway,
Speaker 1: it was. I was getting this without proof. So he's like,
Speaker 1: you know what, Okay, I see that's what you paid
Speaker 1: for it on this date. We're gonna send you four
Speaker 1: hundred and get ahead, go buy yourself an LG or Samsung.
Speaker 1: So I said really, so yeah, he goes, yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean listen, he goes, we don't do TVs in America anymore.
Speaker 1: And oh, by the way, the TV that you have
Speaker 1: just you know, just junk it or whatever. And that's
Speaker 1: where I have a problem. To throw stuff out. It's
Speaker 1: hard to part with old electronics. And I talked about
Speaker 1: this slightly on the Big Show. I got in my house,
Speaker 1: you do and Elvis. Elvis said this on the air today.
Speaker 1: So I was telling the story real quick of how
Speaker 1: I you know, how I got you know, I'm getting
Speaker 1: a new I got this new TV and I and
Speaker 1: I wheeled it out. I said, a buddy of mine,
Speaker 1: help me get the TV off the wall. And and
Speaker 1: because I'll take it. And I'm like, take it? What
Speaker 1: do you want to take it for? He thought it
Speaker 1: was you Brody, that was it was it Brody who
Speaker 1: wanted the TV. I'll tell that story why he thought that.
Speaker 1: Go ahead, so I said, I said, listen, I said
Speaker 1: to my but it happened to be my doorman who
Speaker 1: worked with me, and it works with me and my
Speaker 1: my where I lived. And he goes, I'll take it.
Speaker 1: I said, but dude, you have to you have to
Speaker 1: say something. It works for like twenty minutes and it
Speaker 1: shuts off. It's it's malfunctioning. There's no fix to it.
Speaker 1: It's he goes, I don't worry about I'm the towing
Speaker 1: in the kid's room. The kids watch TV for twenty
Speaker 1: minutes they should be watching TV. Won't do that anyway,
Speaker 1: It'll shut off and I'll come in the room, I'll
Speaker 1: turn it back on again. I'm like, listen, man, you
Speaker 1: don't want this problem on your hand. It's a it's Panasonic,
Speaker 1: it's out of warranty. Yes, it's a four K Ultra
Speaker 1: Smart t V from two thousand sixteen. But it's a
Speaker 1: fucking lemon, a lemon meaning it doesn't work and never did.
Speaker 1: You got a bad You've got a bad piece of
Speaker 1: electronics on your hands. You know what he tells me, Oh,
Speaker 1: you know what to do. I'm gonna check it. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna turn it over. I'm gonna unscrew it. I know
Speaker 1: a guy who could work on the motherboard a little bit.
Speaker 1: If he knows. The guy like it's more trouble than
Speaker 1: it's worth. It's not. But then he's got no you
Speaker 1: paid a thousand for it, but now now it's worth nothing. Well,
Speaker 1: it's probably worth five six. He's gonna pay three hundred
Speaker 1: dollars to get the thing. Is everybody, And my point
Speaker 1: was everyone has someone in their life that's a junk
Speaker 1: collector or an electric old electronics collector. You have to
Speaker 1: at some point look at the electronics and be like,
Speaker 1: this is outdated, this is obsolutely, or this is broken,
Speaker 1: it's it's not fixable, or it's gonna cost more money
Speaker 1: than it takes to fix. Throw the fucking thing out.
Speaker 1: But but the guy wanted it, so he's like, you
Speaker 1: know what, I'm taking it. I'm like, okay, if it
Speaker 1: makes your day, but you've been this is gonna cause
Speaker 1: you adja I do, yeah, anxiety. It's gonna cause your
Speaker 1: stress because I don't want us put us take a
Speaker 1: sledgehammer to it when it goes off after twenty minutes.
Speaker 1: But he took it. He took my old Try the
Speaker 1: way that's not what I did with Elvis is telling
Speaker 1: you take old junk. You take old junk. Lay was
Speaker 1: accused you of hoarding old junk. Hold on, it's not junk.
Speaker 1: And you see, here's the thing. When you are when
Speaker 1: you grow up U in middle class family like I did,
Speaker 1: agree to blue collar you you eat leftover right well
Speaker 1: in apotment building for me. You you you eat leftovers.
Speaker 1: You love leftovers. You always clean your plate with this
Speaker 1: food and you always take home left over from a restaurant.
Speaker 1: You never leave leftovers because that's another meal right there.
Speaker 1: You don't waste money. That's where you are you just
Speaker 1: that's what you learned, Like you don't turn on the
Speaker 1: heat until it's lower than thirty degrees, Thank you dad. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Elvis did not grow up that way. Okay, our Bostrom
Speaker 1: the other Strand Morning show. And he does very well
Speaker 1: for himself. He's earned it. He does very well, certainly
Speaker 1: better than we do, which is fine. And so he
Speaker 1: moved out of his apartment in Manhattan to another apartment
Speaker 1: in Manhattan. And when he moved he wanted all new TVs.
Speaker 1: He wanted a new technology, which I totally get. So
Speaker 1: he wanted to move in. How old was the old
Speaker 1: technology that was on his wall? Okay? So he says
Speaker 1: to me, Yeah, I'm leaving the old TVs. So I said,
Speaker 1: what how old did they? I know he's not he
Speaker 1: doesn't have old TVs. He doesn't have square TVs. So
Speaker 1: I said how what kind of TVs? He says, Oh,
Speaker 1: they're Panasonic, I think, he said, But it's too much
Speaker 1: of a hassle to take him off the wall. They're old.
Speaker 1: I don't want him. So I said, whoa how big
Speaker 1: are they? So he says, I got a forty and
Speaker 1: fifty and a sixty the forties in the guest room
Speaker 1: the fifties in the bedroom, master bedroom in the sixty
Speaker 1: was in the living room. So I said, uh, so
Speaker 1: he goes, yeah, I don't know if there're any good
Speaker 1: all the electronics. Yeah, I guess. So this was two
Speaker 1: thousand right fourteen maybe fourteen. So uh I saw. He says,
Speaker 1: you're gonna need help do a little heavy. I said,
Speaker 1: no problem. So Spruce came with me. We go to
Speaker 1: his older TV. First troubles. I asked him he sai
Speaker 1: didn't need a TV. I said, you want the forty
Speaker 1: because not don't need a TV? Did you tip him?
Speaker 1: I bought him. I bought him dinner on like you
Speaker 1: and I bought him. I bought him to lunch. Salt
Speaker 1: in that wound, don't you okay? So I took care
Speaker 1: of him from for his help. So the forty inch
Speaker 1: TV comes off the wall, no problem. Now keep in
Speaker 1: mind this is two thousand nine TVs, so they have
Speaker 1: like the big black frame around them, not like now
Speaker 1: where it's like a half inch frame. Maybe so you
Speaker 1: can tell by a TV what here it was one
Speaker 1: on my wall. Sam sung from two thousand nine with
Speaker 1: the big black frame right, okay, still flat panel but
Speaker 1: they're all flat panel. Now. Okay, so it's got the
Speaker 1: giant black frame because that's what the technology was, the
Speaker 1: speakers whatever. So the fifty it took a while. And
Speaker 1: get the fifty off the wall. It's like a hundred
Speaker 1: hundred pounds. The heavy TV. Now the TVs are like
Speaker 1: fourteen pounds. Fifteen pounds. No, oh yeah, This LG thing
Speaker 1: I bought was a piece of glass relaxed with Hit
Speaker 1: the jingle, j get the jingle. LG's a client for you.
Speaker 1: Hit the jingle, hit the jingy. Not cool? Okay, By
Speaker 1: the way, I owe you three jingles from the fifteen
Speaker 1: minute morning show, the upstring fifty minute morning show last week.
Speaker 1: You slipped the double clients on the same sentence. I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna bring that up. You know that's landing on
Speaker 1: a triple words score. You double sponsored. I yelled, I yelled,
Speaker 1: hit the jingle twice, but one center didn't slick. All right,
Speaker 1: So then we go into the living room. The sixty
Speaker 1: inch television now it has like a five inch frame
Speaker 1: around it, and now it's like a seventy inch television
Speaker 1: and it's not thin. It's a heavy TV. It's thick.
Speaker 1: It was not two thousand nine. But it's an elite TV.
Speaker 1: This is a Panasonic Elite. If you look its time,
Speaker 1: it was it was the top of the line television.
Speaker 1: It was the one where, like at electronic stores, you
Speaker 1: would go in the back room and they had to
Speaker 1: like the little room of the special TVs, the fifty
Speaker 1: and the sixty where the Panasonic Elite. How did those
Speaker 1: stand up here in two eighteen, Well they look good,
Speaker 1: not compared to an old lad Or or a q
Speaker 1: lad a q L E D rather Yeah, because those
Speaker 1: the black is black dot. Stopping with that, stopping with
Speaker 1: those televisions. Okay. So by the way, Panasonic Pete did
Speaker 1: not come through with me on those TVs. Okay, so
Speaker 1: that's why he's l g P. Now the I it
Speaker 1: was in context of our conversation. You're not getting a
Speaker 1: jingle on that one. Not cool? Steal a jingle, all right.
Speaker 1: So we take all the cables out of the back
Speaker 1: this television. I'll tell you how much it weighted. Afterwards
Speaker 1: we were we struggled because you have to lift it
Speaker 1: up off the bracket and down, so up up was unbelievable.
Speaker 1: Down to keep it from slamming to the ground. Was unbearable.
Speaker 1: The spruce says to me, maybe you don't want the TV.
Speaker 1: This is ridiculous. I had taken my my my wife
Speaker 1: and I used to have a second call. Hard call
Speaker 1: was a minivan. We brought the minivan right, We're like, okay,
Speaker 1: we gotta get the TV and I gotta get the
Speaker 1: TV and the free t V. I take it. I said,
Speaker 1: this thing is worth a lot of money, and I
Speaker 1: don't I need a TV in one of my rooms.
Speaker 1: And this is a sixty in television. And this was
Speaker 1: like when the TV's were medium heavy, right, So the
Speaker 1: TV we're taken is heavy, heavy, but it wasn't like
Speaker 1: now with like paper. So we struggled to get this
Speaker 1: thing out, struggle to get it out, finally get it
Speaker 1: in the car. My wrists hurts, my everything hurts. We
Speaker 1: banged it on our feet to keep it from hitting
Speaker 1: the ground. The three TVs home. I put the forty up,
Speaker 1: no problem. The fifty, the TV from two thousand thirteen
Speaker 1: or fourteen, sat in my home office on the floor
Speaker 1: since then. I mounted it this past weekend four and
Speaker 1: a half years roughly because I needed someone to come
Speaker 1: over and help me lift it up on the wall.
Speaker 1: It's gonna get a dinosaw by the time you take
Speaker 1: it down. I want to sell it. So here's the thing.
Speaker 1: The sixty inch TV Spruce doesn't live in New Jersey.
Speaker 1: So I have to get my friend Jeff, who came
Speaker 1: on the cruise with us. We've mentioned Jeff on the
Speaker 1: on the podcast before. So Jeff comes over my house
Speaker 1: and they sees the TV. I put the bracket on
Speaker 1: the wall. Now we look up the TV model. It's
Speaker 1: two eleven pounds, right, So I had to put upside
Speaker 1: down garbage pails on the floor of my my den
Speaker 1: so that we could lift it up and put it
Speaker 1: on top of the garbage pails to rest. And now
Speaker 1: I'm thinking myself, I know why Elvis left him on
Speaker 1: the wall, because even if the moving men did it,
Speaker 1: real men, not like me, real strong moving men types,
Speaker 1: they would have punched him for making them move this TV.
Speaker 1: I don't know how he got on the wall. Must
Speaker 1: have been five people. How does the bracket hold it falling?
Speaker 1: Because if you put the bracket enough enough of the
Speaker 1: wood stud nails and deep enough into the studs in
Speaker 1: your wall, it goes in. It holds it. So it
Speaker 1: took it took like, I don't know, half hour to
Speaker 1: get it up on the wall, and then I realized
Speaker 1: it's so flushed against the wall because these TVs are designed,
Speaker 1: probably in two thousand nine to sit on a stand
Speaker 1: so you can access the back of it. Well, Elvis,
Speaker 1: okay me, I have every box of every TV. I
Speaker 1: have a bought in the attic. I have all the
Speaker 1: stands if they're on the wall. I kept the stands right.
Speaker 1: Alvis didn't keep stands. He put them on the wall.
Speaker 1: He's like, what do I need those stands for. I'm
Speaker 1: never gonna put them on a piece of furniture. You're
Speaker 1: up on the wall, so I didn't have the option
Speaker 1: of just putting it on a table. I should and
Speaker 1: maybe I should go to my uh the trash room,
Speaker 1: hold on of my apartment money because I literally just
Speaker 1: this morning they're worth a hundred dollars each at least
Speaker 1: on eBay. Are you serious? Because people can't get them.
Speaker 1: You can sell everything, everything is valuable. Put him over
Speaker 1: by the garbage. I'm like, I'm I'm never calling the doorman.
Speaker 1: But other people might want to put them on a
Speaker 1: piece of furniture. But then they didn't. Did TV come
Speaker 1: with it. Yeah, but if they threw it out or
Speaker 1: they bought it used. Man, Okay, okay, we get this
Speaker 1: TV on the wall. The TV gets on the wall finally,
Speaker 1: and then I realized all of the HDMI ports to
Speaker 1: put the cables are flat against the wall now, and
Speaker 1: if we tipped the TV forward, it'll fall off the wall.
Speaker 1: So we had to lift it back off the wall
Speaker 1: to put all the cables in. You got a lifetime
Speaker 1: of workouts in there. So yes, the bottom line is
Speaker 1: I still love the TV, but now I bought a
Speaker 1: new TV. I moved my living room TV, which is
Speaker 1: also a five inch frame, but has a stand that
Speaker 1: I never mounted on the wall. That's now down in
Speaker 1: my living room. Elvis's old TV Skary is so big.
Speaker 1: Not only is it sevent screen, but it's he bought
Speaker 1: the extra speakers, the giant speakers that clip on the side,
Speaker 1: so it's the speakers are a foot wide and and
Speaker 1: about five ft high like the TV. So the TV
Speaker 1: is like eight and a half feet wide with the speakers.
Speaker 1: So it's on the wall. Okay, So now I've got
Speaker 1: the TV from my living room with the base on
Speaker 1: it that I want to put down there. Elvis's old
Speaker 1: TV is so old and powerful that if I turn
Speaker 1: it on and I plug in anything else in the room.
Speaker 1: So I have like a little um a piece of
Speaker 1: furniture with a fake fireplace so like it looks like
Speaker 1: it's flamed, but it's not, but it warms the room.
Speaker 1: The kids can't go in the room it's so cold
Speaker 1: in the winter, and they can't turn the fireplace on
Speaker 1: because the TV blows the fuse and put the fireplace on.
Speaker 1: So now I'm trying to sell the TV on Facebook
Speaker 1: and on Craigslist. Who's coming to my house for an
Speaker 1: almost ten year old television at weighs two hundred and
Speaker 1: eleven pounds. You should put it on eBay and and
Speaker 1: say free shipping, right yea. So I'm almost to the
Speaker 1: point where I want to call like a charity to
Speaker 1: come get it, but I don't know if they'll take
Speaker 1: it off the wall and take the TV. So now
Speaker 1: you remember, and Jeff isn't gonna take it off the
Speaker 1: wall already told me I'm not touching that TV again.
Speaker 1: So we put the fifty inch up this weekend, right,
Speaker 1: I told you that, And and we put it up
Speaker 1: and we quickly ran out because we had to put
Speaker 1: the new TV's in my kid's room. They got small
Speaker 1: TVs for the kids and they weigh like five pounds each.
Speaker 1: So um. When he left, I realized theft old television
Speaker 1: from Elvis is about a foot too high. So I
Speaker 1: call him. I go, we got moved the TV down.
Speaker 1: He goes, fuck you, that TV is over a hundred pounds.
Speaker 1: You're gonna wait. So I got one more story for
Speaker 1: you if I may. And did you have a story? No, no, no,
Speaker 1: I'm good. I want to tell you about the TV.
Speaker 1: So he came over a month ago to hang that TV.
Speaker 1: I had put the bolts in, hung the bracket perfectly
Speaker 1: where I wanted it. It would have been too high
Speaker 1: because I realized it was too high. Now I realized
Speaker 1: it was too high, and he we put the TV
Speaker 1: on the wall and like what you said, it pulled
Speaker 1: the bracket out of the wall. If I didn't buy
Speaker 1: the right screws, so they didn't grip the studs. Right, Okay,
Speaker 1: So he says to me, before we hang this TV Saturday, right,
Speaker 1: he says, let's go to the hardwist store and get
Speaker 1: the right screws. I said, I, but we're in a
Speaker 1: hurry because we gotta get all these TVs hung. I said, look,
Speaker 1: we can go to home depot that has everything, but
Speaker 1: that's fifteen minutes away. I'm gonna name names here. There's
Speaker 1: an ACE Hardwist store as the place the helpful hardware
Speaker 1: man spat. The helpful hardware man doesn't work there anymore.
Speaker 1: They need to change the jingle helpless the Ace Hardware
Speaker 1: near my house not a sponsor, has never had a
Speaker 1: salesperson on the floor, never had a person on the
Speaker 1: floor that I go in there where you can find
Speaker 1: anybody to help you, nobody. There's a reason, right if
Speaker 1: you live in a town where you don't have a
Speaker 1: home depot, you need to move. If you have an
Speaker 1: ACE Hardware, maybe your town is better, but in my
Speaker 1: town for ship. Okay, So I go in and I'm
Speaker 1: looking at there's like that row of buckets, like that
Speaker 1: row of little cups, and each cup has a has
Speaker 1: a picture of a screw and it shows you the
Speaker 1: screw and the nails and the screws all in this
Speaker 1: isle of fasteners. Okay, So I'm looking for one that's
Speaker 1: long enough, wide enough for this hundred twenty pound fifty
Speaker 1: television that Elvis gave me for free, which, by the way,
Speaker 1: free isn't free, because this thing is a nightmare and
Speaker 1: it's costing your money. Now, now wait a minute, it
Speaker 1: didn't cost me anything. I bought a couple of screws
Speaker 1: for a couple of hours. Doesn't matter. The TV looks great,
Speaker 1: even even two thousand nine, and it's still a good
Speaker 1: looking TV, not like the new ones, but still really
Speaker 1: good HDTV. So I can't figure out which screw to get.
Speaker 1: They don't sell like TV mounting screws that God forbid
Speaker 1: they did that. They make a lot of money. Don't
Speaker 1: leave it up the chance TV mounting screws. So Jeff
Speaker 1: goes to the cashier. There's two kishiers, an old guy
Speaker 1: and a young guy. And the young guy goes, oh no,
Speaker 1: and the old guy says, I hold on, and he
Speaker 1: walks off the line. There's a line of people buying stuff,
Speaker 1: three guys. He goes, hold back, I'll right back. So
Speaker 1: he comes to help us, and the line is getting longer.
Speaker 1: He has to go to like we got a cashier
Speaker 1: to the front rock front car, front Rocker because he
Speaker 1: walked away from the line. Bad customer service for them,
Speaker 1: good customer service for me. So he's looking and he goes,
Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe this one, maybe that one. I
Speaker 1: don't know. You don't know. You're the helpful hardware man.
Speaker 1: What do you mean you don't know? The place with
Speaker 1: the healthful hardware man pace is the place with the
Speaker 1: cashier doesn't know what he's doing. So he's like, I
Speaker 1: don't know, maybe this one. I don't know. I gotta go.
Speaker 1: I gotta back on the register because his replacement never
Speaker 1: showed up. So he's like, I don't know. One of
Speaker 1: these three maybe, So I go online and look it up.
Speaker 1: I match it up whatever. We're like, these look good.
Speaker 1: We get as thick as we can because the heavyest
Speaker 1: television set, and we pick out two different types of screws, no,
Speaker 1: three different types, because we're like, we don't know which ones.
Speaker 1: How long are they gonna need to be, how thick? Whatever?
Speaker 1: So I buy the really thick ones, the medium, and
Speaker 1: then the longer ones. They didn't have one like thick
Speaker 1: and long. Hate when that happens. So I go to
Speaker 1: the register. This is where it gets good. The older
Speaker 1: guy now has gone on a break. He's gone. I
Speaker 1: went on the guy on the line for the young guy.
Speaker 1: And as as I get to the register, an old
Speaker 1: guy and his older wife come in there. Because it's
Speaker 1: right by the front door. They walk in, he's got
Speaker 1: a key in his hand. Now behind the cashier is
Speaker 1: a key making machine and two towers of keys, so
Speaker 1: that when he's got downtime he can the keys right.
Speaker 1: Whereas in home depot there's like a key stand and
Speaker 1: when you need a key, you tell somebody to go.
Speaker 1: We got a key maker. The key department players key maker.
Speaker 1: So the cashier here doubles as the key making persons. Right,
Speaker 1: what if? What if? There's a long line of right
Speaker 1: and if you and if you want a key? Now
Speaker 1: the cashier has is taking his time making a key.
Speaker 1: Will the linebacks up? Major? Key? Right? Thank you? Another one?
Speaker 1: So the guy goes. He interrupts me. Now, but you
Speaker 1: know what, you know what like you just want to
Speaker 1: ask to kiss your question? You need the side cut in. Yeah, right,
Speaker 1: it's not it's a chisel. I just have five second question.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry he just had you want this line because
Speaker 1: I got a five second ques and I don't want
Speaker 1: to wain a line of case. You don't think i'd
Speaker 1: help me, so you do then that goes okay, I'm
Speaker 1: okay with that, right, I don't have a problem with that.
Speaker 1: So the guys holding up the key and he's standing
Speaker 1: a foot and a half from the counter looking at
Speaker 1: the guy, and he goes, uh, that's a hardware store.
Speaker 1: And behind the guy to key making machine with a
Speaker 1: big key on it and two towers of keys, and
Speaker 1: he says, um, do you make keys here? I want
Speaker 1: an idiot, what the fuck are you doing? Do you
Speaker 1: make keys here? Do you make keys here? Hey? Haling
Speaker 1: hearty soup? Do you guys make soup? It's a hardware store.
Speaker 1: The key machine is behind him, The spindles of keys
Speaker 1: are behind him. Do you make keys here? Not? Where
Speaker 1: do I go for keys? Do? I wait? Online? Do
Speaker 1: you make keys here at the hardware store? With the
Speaker 1: key machine behind you and two spindles and fucking blank keys?
Speaker 1: So I turned him and I go key harrass what?
Speaker 1: And he was want to go? Those towers might be
Speaker 1: I said to the kish here, I went like this,
Speaker 1: I hold my beer and I went you see the
Speaker 1: key machine and the two If the guy wore a
Speaker 1: sign that said asked me about making keys, it couldn't
Speaker 1: have been more obvious. The guy looks like like I
Speaker 1: didn't like he has me I didn't know face, like
Speaker 1: the masses are asses. It gets worse. So the guy
Speaker 1: walks away and I see it. So he gets on
Speaker 1: the end of the line. So I say to the cashier,
Speaker 1: could the key towers behind you have been more of
Speaker 1: a clue? Right? Uh? And he looks at me goes, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess so yeah. Oh my god, he didn't get
Speaker 1: the joke right. So I don't get that you were
Speaker 1: trying to try, right, Like what an idiot? Right? And right? Okay,
Speaker 1: So I put the screws down on the counter. Now,
Speaker 1: when you go to home depot and you bring a
Speaker 1: brick or a piece of landscaping like a tile, right,
Speaker 1: they open up their little book, uh with laminated pages,
Speaker 1: right with cheat protectors or whatever, and there's pictures of
Speaker 1: all of the items, right, and there's usually a skew
Speaker 1: on it, but if not, they look in the book
Speaker 1: and they go match up the screw, match up the
Speaker 1: type of tile or brick, and they know they putting
Speaker 1: the coat and they ring you up. So the guy
Speaker 1: looks at me and he goes, uh, how much of
Speaker 1: the screws? So I said, what He says, yeah, how
Speaker 1: much of the screws? I said, you're the cash here, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't how much the screws are? I go, well,
Speaker 1: look up the codes, look in your book. He's I'll
Speaker 1: have a book. I need you to go and tell
Speaker 1: me what the prices are. So is it the honor system?
Speaker 1: So yeah, so I say, you got the funk. Wait
Speaker 1: a minute, I don't work here. And you know how
Speaker 1: I know I don't work here because I'm on the
Speaker 1: sales floor and if I was on the floor, you
Speaker 1: don't have anybody on the floor. So that's how I
Speaker 1: know I don't work here. Because there's no helpful hardware man,
Speaker 1: I said, said, Now you want me to walk back
Speaker 1: to the screw and nut the fastener aisle and find
Speaker 1: the three buckets again and match up the screws with
Speaker 1: the pictures, because somehow I work here. Now I'm the
Speaker 1: helpful out ware man. He wants me to go back
Speaker 1: and look at the price. I said, so much, So
Speaker 1: Jeff says to him, they're all negative fifty dollars. You
Speaker 1: owe me a hundred and fifty dollars through three screws. Good?
Speaker 1: Whatever it was. The guys, I don't get it. The
Speaker 1: guy didn't get the joke that the screws are negative.
Speaker 1: I think we got like twelve, so whatever, So we
Speaker 1: should be paying you because you're working now. Yeah. Now
Speaker 1: he used me to go back to the screw while
Speaker 1: so I I go, is there someone on the floor
Speaker 1: that can help me? He says, no, of course not.
Speaker 1: It's Ace fucking Hardware. It should be a hardly anybody
Speaker 1: here where because there's nobody there. Why are they empty?
Speaker 1: They used to be on by Sears I think, or
Speaker 1: they own by Sears at one point. Whatever, Now that
Speaker 1: there's somebody else there, like Cotillios, Ace Hardware is a
Speaker 1: name in front of it because Sears spun them off,
Speaker 1: because Sears in the toilet, because they didn't never have
Speaker 1: any sales people either in the hardware section. I thought
Speaker 1: home Depot was bad. Home Depot usually has like three
Speaker 1: people for the football field store. This place says nobody.
Speaker 1: So I had to go back because I hanging the television,
Speaker 1: said ter. Now, had I bought a new TV set,
Speaker 1: it would have come with screws and and I would
Speaker 1: have bought the mounting mounting plate would have come. But
Speaker 1: I had hope it's his old outing plate. Then I
Speaker 1: have the screws because I took him off the wall.
Speaker 1: I lost them from five years ago. My fault. I
Speaker 1: get it. But this son of a bitch wanted me
Speaker 1: to walk all the way back Andrew, by the way,
Speaker 1: in case we want to f you, Andrew, I had
Speaker 1: to go all the way back to the aisle, so Andrew,
Speaker 1: so I go, so get this. I go back to
Speaker 1: the aisle. Right I stopped, Jeff, and I stopped matching
Speaker 1: up the screws. Now they are they? Are they five? Sixteens?
Speaker 1: Are they? One in? One inch? Half in? We're gonna
Speaker 1: find the bucket without the price on it. So we
Speaker 1: do all that. It takes like six or seven minutes
Speaker 1: to get all the prices. That's where that's where you right, yes,
Speaker 1: right there, right, that's where you do. I should have said,
Speaker 1: I'm taking the screws, were good, not charging an extra
Speaker 1: three dollars to okay who owed two phone? Okay, Now
Speaker 1: now I'm exasperated. Get so we match up all the screws.
Speaker 1: I go back to the kiss here and get online.
Speaker 1: Now right, I should have cut the line. But guess
Speaker 1: what the cash is doing? What's what he's making a
Speaker 1: key for the guy from the Fall, the old guy
Speaker 1: you wanted up. They make keys. He's next online, he's
Speaker 1: making here, he's making the key. There's the cash here.
Speaker 1: So now I damn CA machine, don't bring up my
Speaker 1: I felt like walking out. I was gonna walk out
Speaker 1: and steal the scrolls. But I don't do that. No,
Speaker 1: you only steal grape soda. I did not steal the
Speaker 1: grape sodius, son of a bit. The bottom line is
Speaker 1: I hung the damn television. I wasted my time at
Speaker 1: ACE hardly wear and the TV now is too high
Speaker 1: and now I gotta bring it down a foot see,
Speaker 1: and it's old electronics, it's junk. And about a year
Speaker 1: from now you're gonna be salivating at when you see
Speaker 1: my fucking t TV doesn't say a word on what
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say what it is, but you're gonna be like, oh, ship,
Speaker 1: I really want new TV. I can't. I could hang
Speaker 1: a new TV with chewing gum. This sold, so don't
Speaker 1: doesn't that make you want, like, like not to use
Speaker 1: all electronics and no take other people's gardens because you
Speaker 1: know what, I still saved three four hundrellars on the tea. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but look at all the aggravation it's costed you. It's
Speaker 1: taking years off your life. And hold on, hold on,
Speaker 1: get the grammar police jingle, Get the grammar police jingle.
Speaker 1: He just said costed. That's not a word cost to you.
Speaker 1: You said costed you. I got. I was so exhaust
Speaker 1: that Jingo Gramma pololice, grama police. Now police your grammar
Speaker 1: police to me? Cost you? Uh? Speaking of Joe X,
Speaker 1: Dingo wrote to us, my girlfriend and I were He's
Speaker 1: no longer a Dingo, but he used to be my grandfriend.
Speaker 1: And I were waiting online and stop and shop and
Speaker 1: saw they sign they used the wrong apart. I love
Speaker 1: the podcast, son of a bit. Then he writes live
Speaker 1: the podcast and can't wait to hear the next episode.
Speaker 1: You guy. You know he lives it. I understand. And
Speaker 1: the sign says we are hiring to submit an application
Speaker 1: see details noted on flyer be a part of our team.
Speaker 1: Apart one word that is disgusting. I'm gonna read Cheryl.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna read her free dessert story next week, and
Speaker 1: I'm gonna read Phil's text message conversation next week. By
Speaker 1: the way you're listening, I didn't forget about you guys.
Speaker 1: Team minch a team at gmail dot com ro to
Speaker 1: us and I gotta get to seem wet. I got
Speaker 1: one more thing to say on the unused jokes? Uh.
Speaker 1: Today Today Monday, December three, on The Big Show, a
Speaker 1: lady cal Dan was talking about her husband being a
Speaker 1: w w E wrestler and she also mentioned she was pregnant.
Speaker 1: Did she get pregnant on w w E RAW? I imagine,
Speaker 1: I imagine you guys made would have made this joke,
Speaker 1: but Elvis wouldn't do it. That's funny, made that joke.
Speaker 1: But that's cute. You like that? I like that? Okay?
Speaker 1: So before we leave, this is episode alright? What episode
Speaker 1: was Anthony sixty three? One of them? Okay? So we
Speaker 1: interviewed Anthony Komi from The Open Anthony Show. I have
Speaker 1: to say the response to that show. It's a two
Speaker 1: hour episode, two hours of action packed five. It's already
Speaker 1: got double the listeners of the episode before and after it.
Speaker 1: If you're listening to episode sixty five, I know you've
Speaker 1: already heard sixty three because you listen in order. Right.
Speaker 1: We all agreed, but I think it's episode sixty one,
Speaker 1: which was on Halloween. It was. It was a medium
Speaker 1: size episode. It's got half the episodes of a regular episode.
Speaker 1: So far, it's really good. I feel like you need
Speaker 1: to make sure you listen to it, that you didn't
Speaker 1: just skip over because it was a bonus and listened
Speaker 1: to the Halloween stuff. Yeah, it was really good episode.
Speaker 1: So read a couple of nice emails by the way,
Speaker 1: and they'll do it podcast. I gotta go alright, one
Speaker 1: email I got to I got to uh that it's time. Well, um,
Speaker 1: you've got mail email at the Brooklyn Boys Podcast at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. Alicia Mantoni wrote, Hey, Brooklyn Boys. I've
Speaker 1: been a huge fan of the Big Show for fifteen years.
Speaker 1: I feel like I grew up with you all. I
Speaker 1: can relate to you because I grew up in an
Speaker 1: Italian family in Jersey. Podcast is so funny and I
Speaker 1: wish you guys could come out with a new episode
Speaker 1: every day. Not gonna happen. The intern the intern resumes
Speaker 1: bit is my new favorite part of the podcast. Can't
Speaker 1: believe people are so careless when sending in cover letters.
Speaker 1: I know you probably don't remember me, Brodie, but I
Speaker 1: interviewed with you for an internship on the Big Show.
Speaker 1: You so she wanted to get a job here back
Speaker 1: in two thousand twelve. So nicely I did not get hired.
Speaker 1: Hard feelings, I still love you. Her name is Alicia Mantoni.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I know, Alicia. Okay, Brodie your ranch Okay,
Speaker 1: my favorite of all time? Really, like I just say
Speaker 1: one thing before say with that, Alicia, you should know,
Speaker 1: and I tell us to most of the applicants sometimes
Speaker 1: that like in baseball, you could be a three hundred
Speaker 1: and ten hitter, but if a three d and fifteen,
Speaker 1: a three fifteen hitter comes along, they're gonna play. It's
Speaker 1: sometimes it's a very close, very difficult decision. So it
Speaker 1: doesn't mean that I didn't like you or enjoy our conversation.
Speaker 1: I'm sure you submitted a nice homework assignment. But I
Speaker 1: only have so many slots, so thank you for still
Speaker 1: being a fan. I appreciated. And her favorite rand of
Speaker 1: all time was the Buffalo Wild Wings on Super Bowl Sunday.
Speaker 1: My laughter when you compared it to this to New
Speaker 1: York Stock Exchange and partying the Red Sea when you
Speaker 1: walked up after they called your name, dying of laughter.
Speaker 1: You guys talking, Oh what you guys were talking about?
Speaker 1: Certain brands of jackets are banned at school. Whoever made
Speaker 1: that rule is a snow flake. Snow flake. Oh we
Speaker 1: had snowflake, stay, didn't we? And scary. I have to
Speaker 1: call you out on the Tony Bennett thing. How dare
Speaker 1: you say anything negative about the man? He is ninety
Speaker 1: two years old and still singing on stage. That in
Speaker 1: itself is insane talent. Keep up the show, guys, love
Speaker 1: you always do a live show soon, then it wouldn't
Speaker 1: be a podcast. I don't know understand. I know what
Speaker 1: he's saying. He wants to do like he wants to do,
Speaker 1: like at a ball are a comedy club. I want
Speaker 1: to tell you Carolines Comedy Club. They want the greatest
Speaker 1: comedy club in America. They want us to do a
Speaker 1: live show there, so we have to work on that.
Speaker 1: Jason Silva Brooklyn Boys Best. I'm a Brooklyn Night, born
Speaker 1: and raised in Sunset Park, currently living in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn.
Speaker 1: Love listening to your podcast every week, especially because it
Speaker 1: brings back memories of my high school days at the
Speaker 1: Fort Fort Hamilton High School hanging with some of my friends.
Speaker 1: Of course, I listened to order and sometimes I need
Speaker 1: a little extra b b time. So I go back
Speaker 1: to some classic episodes. I believe I've listened to your
Speaker 1: episode with Michael Rappaport at least a dozen times. Such
Speaker 1: a great episode. Here's an idea for a future segment
Speaker 1: came under the radar. The idea came from an under
Speaker 1: the radar mob mobster classic called Hoodloaf. You can catch
Speaker 1: it on Amazon Prime, not a sponsor. At forty nine
Speaker 1: minutes in, there are two hit men getting ready to
Speaker 1: kill Buppy Johnson and start a trade on some of
Speaker 1: New York's best eats and uh including some of including cheesecake, steaks,
Speaker 1: and even hot dogs. And I love no love for
Speaker 1: Feltman's though. Anyway, right now, I know you say your
Speaker 1: show is not about Brooklyn, but you bring up some
Speaker 1: of Brooklyn's best each from time to time. Why not
Speaker 1: making a weekly segment called Brooklyn Boys Best. Each week,
Speaker 1: you guys can pick a food, dessert, or style of
Speaker 1: food to discuss, and you can each choose one place
Speaker 1: that one fins has the best in Brooklyn or the
Speaker 1: other four borrows if you want. I personally think it
Speaker 1: would be a great for all your listeners who visit
Speaker 1: New York City one day to have spots to visit
Speaker 1: when they go to Brooklyn. Anyway, it's great to reminisce
Speaker 1: love you all. You can tag an honorable mention for
Speaker 1: a third choice. Anyways, this person goes on that's just shure.
Speaker 1: I understand the movie part of it, but he wants
Speaker 1: he wants us to do a Brooklyn. Yeah, there's a problem.
Speaker 1: I'll tweet someplace if I liked it. Scary, we'll tweet
Speaker 1: someplace if he likes it. The problem is eighty percent
Speaker 1: of our audience doesn't live anyone near Brooklyn and maybe
Speaker 1: I'm making up numbers. Is never gonna go to Brooklyn
Speaker 1: looking for a pastry shop. So it really kind of
Speaker 1: alienates people. So you know what, there's great food everywhere.
Speaker 1: We'll take you under advice. You guys know your neighborhoods better,
Speaker 1: and you know, I go and yelp. You could figure
Speaker 1: it out. But someone actually asked me on Twitter if
Speaker 1: like we've ever been into Farer's. I'm like, do you
Speaker 1: listen to the podcast? Also, Stephen Massia wanted to point
Speaker 1: out that, um, they were playing trivia on Google Home
Speaker 1: and the question was who sings come on Field the
Speaker 1: Noise As a former dj I knew it was two bands. Well,
Speaker 1: he knew it was Quiet Right Riot. It's a remakeer
Speaker 1: Google said it was wrong. I was livid. I can't
Speaker 1: remember which band they said it was. It was probably
Speaker 1: Sad Okay, so is he wrong? Well, if the question
Speaker 1: was who wrote come on Field the Noise, he wants
Speaker 1: he's like, he wants to take it up with Google Home. Okay,
Speaker 1: you guys got the wrong things, remember yeah, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: So again, if you care about eighties hard rock and
Speaker 1: say that's what he said. So Come On Field the
Speaker 1: Noise was Quiet Riot's biggest hit, but it was a
Speaker 1: cover of a band uh named Slade that had recorded it.
Speaker 1: Then Quiet Riot had a second hit, mental Health, Mental
Speaker 1: Health rather, and then the third hit was Mama, We're
Speaker 1: All Crazy now right? That was also a cover of Slade.
Speaker 1: So Quiet Right got a lot of crap for doing
Speaker 1: two covers of Slaves music and they were both hits.
Speaker 1: So two of their three biggest hits were by this
Speaker 1: one band, Slade. So now Slade did come and Feel
Speaker 1: the Noise. If you like the one, you may hitting
Speaker 1: bars whatever, go and listen to it. Go listen to
Speaker 1: that version of Mama we're all crazy now. But their
Speaker 1: best song is a song called run Runaway. Well, chameleon,
Speaker 1: let's run Runaway anyway, great song, so look up some
Speaker 1: old classic rock slade. But he but he's right if
Speaker 1: the version, if the verbage was who sang it? Hell
Speaker 1: I sang it? Anybody could be right who sang the song,
Speaker 1: so it's really who wrote it. And finally, Grady Johnson
Speaker 1: said that an episode this is the third one you
Speaker 1: said too, Well, this is he wants to make a
Speaker 1: comment about three Churchill Downs. At Churchill Downs, there's a
Speaker 1: bathroom attendant who simply hands you paper towels that are
Speaker 1: one step fancier to dry your hands, and then still
Speaker 1: have the regular dispenses in the bathroom and hand dryers.
Speaker 1: And then the guy stands right by the sink holds
Speaker 1: his out with a large tip basket to fuck you
Speaker 1: into helping him out because he spends his day in
Speaker 1: a bathroom. Seems like an even more usuals job than
Speaker 1: the bar soap pretended he's the dryer guy where he
Speaker 1: hands not the bar soap. It was the uh soap
Speaker 1: and towel guy. Right. This guy says he hands scored
Speaker 1: the scuirt his Squorrey soap guy. Yeah right, he hands
Speaker 1: you paper towels, so he he says, but they're they're
Speaker 1: fancier than the blow dry thing. So he wants a
Speaker 1: tip for handing you a fancier paper towel, because obviously
Speaker 1: you're gonna be more compelled. Do you see what? You see?
Speaker 1: What the guys trying back? When we went to see
Speaker 1: Conan O'Brien by the way, being a corner Obrian, we
Speaker 1: went to see Conan, so the bathroom soapy guy, the
Speaker 1: soap soap towel guy, Scorrey soap guy. When he did
Speaker 1: the pump, it was like a pump that maybe the
Speaker 1: soap had caked on a little bit, so it went squeaky, squeaky.
Speaker 1: I'm like, dude, clean his soap pumped. First of all, uh,
Speaker 1: Second of all, if you remember, they gave us a
Speaker 1: real a nice gift basket when we left, they look
Speaker 1: bag the well, here's the thing, why do you say that?
Speaker 1: All right? So in that bag was read beats, wiless beats.
Speaker 1: So when I came home that day, my one of
Speaker 1: my kids says, oh, wireless beats, I want those for hanka.
Speaker 1: I go, huh, well, good luck, because he's a mine.
Speaker 1: They're like, well, you don't need those, So now I'm
Speaker 1: getting guilted into give him my free beats away. But
Speaker 1: isn't that what you guys do, guilt each other? Wow,
Speaker 1: you guys, have you used Joe wiless beats? No? I
Speaker 1: gave him my girlfriend? Well you are whipped. No, I'm not.
Speaker 1: I have a head from you gave your girlfriend wireless
Speaker 1: beats headphones And the bitch won't let you watch Sunday
Speaker 1: night football. Don't all right? You know I love Robin.
Speaker 1: I met like bitch, don't let me want like you
Speaker 1: know the way you were talking to Spruce, I was
Speaker 1: talking about the fact that you called Sunday night football
Speaker 1: and not football in America. On my bad, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: it's just the way for us. I had podcast a
Speaker 1: word dot com Best Comedy because we're from Brooklyn. Dah
Speaker 1: Boys from Brooklyn, Brooklyn dah Boys Rock Brooklyn