Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya red An iHeartRadio Podcast.
Speaker 2: Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in.
Speaker 3: Yes, we are in our matching Stanley's.
Speaker 2: Almost matching, same size, same size, but not the same color. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but it's fine, Yeah, because we're scrubbing in exactly. And
Speaker 2: we don't have just one special guest today. We have
Speaker 2: two special guests and they happen to be a couple,
Speaker 2: which we love.
Speaker 3: We love a couple.
Speaker 2: We love a couple. And one is an actor, a singer,
Speaker 2: a producer, a director, and now a podcaster. She is
Speaker 2: extremely passionate about issues concerning children and has been a
Speaker 2: longtime supporter of the Make a Wish Foundation and continues
Speaker 2: to support organizations and causes lifting up the LGBTQ plus community.
Speaker 4: Our other guests grew up around the entertainment industry. Early
Speaker 4: in her professional career, she spent time as a writer's
Speaker 4: assistant and developed this skill into the personal assistant world,
Speaker 4: managing and overseeing the lives of multiple high level talent.
Speaker 2: This power was building a lifestyle brand that will inspire, educate,
Speaker 2: and help others through thought provoking content and meaningful conversations.
Speaker 1: Please help us give a warm Welcome to Raven Simone
Speaker 1: and Mirandom may Day.
Speaker 2: How are you going? Wow, y'all, studio is so cute.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 5: I'm taking full credit for it because I designed it,
Speaker 5: so thank you.
Speaker 4: Is this gonna be this is your setup that you're
Speaker 4: gonna be doing your podcast from?
Speaker 6: This is our podcast set up?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 3: WHOA?
Speaker 2: Can we get right into the podcast and talk about
Speaker 2: like where the idea came about? When did the idea
Speaker 2: come about? And doing it together as a couple.
Speaker 6: Yes.
Speaker 5: Idea kind of first started when we had our YouTube
Speaker 5: channel and we had something called Tea Time and we
Speaker 5: would sit down and we'd.
Speaker 6: Pick a topic. We would just talk about that and drink.
Speaker 5: Tea or eat a meal whatever. And then the YouTube
Speaker 5: channel started to fizz out.
Speaker 6: Of our ether because it was a lot of work.
Speaker 5: But I had always wanted to start a podcast and
Speaker 5: it took me like two years to basically get to
Speaker 5: a place where you know, I had tried and failed
Speaker 5: and tried, and Raven was like, Okay, I'm down.
Speaker 6: You've convinced me.
Speaker 5: I'll do a podcast with you, but it has to
Speaker 5: have some fun, unique twists to it. So we were like,
Speaker 5: let's take the tea time. Idea, let's flip it on
Speaker 5: sead a little bit and make it more random.
Speaker 6: And here here we are.
Speaker 2: Wait, so what's the what is the twist? I know
Speaker 2: what the twist is, but for those who are listening,
Speaker 2: what's the twist?
Speaker 6: What's the twist?
Speaker 5: Bag?
Speaker 7: So what happened is, uh, we spin a wheel and
Speaker 7: the wheel lands on a random word that my wife,
Speaker 7: myself and our guest has no clue what that word is,
Speaker 7: and we.
Speaker 6: Talk about it for however I long we want to
Speaker 6: talk about.
Speaker 2: It, Like, what have y'all y'all done? Y'all recorded episodes? Correct?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Can you give a hint? Or wait? So if the listener,
Speaker 2: does the listener know what the word is or is
Speaker 2: it kind of like they guess what the random word is?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 6: No, No.
Speaker 5: Basically what happens is we spin the wheel. You hear
Speaker 5: this as a listener, you'll hear the sound effect of
Speaker 5: the wheel. You'll hear a ding, and then we will
Speaker 5: at that ding moment, we get the words sent to
Speaker 5: us from our producer, and we know what the word
Speaker 5: is and then we announce it. So, for example, we'd
Speaker 5: be like, oh, the word is zebra, and then our
Speaker 5: guest is like what, and we're like what, and then
Speaker 5: we talk about Zebra's.
Speaker 3: That's really hard.
Speaker 7: It's easy, Actually, no, it is.
Speaker 5: I mean, like, sure, you have to be a little
Speaker 5: bit more present maybe, but actually fun. And it's interesting
Speaker 5: to see how a word like zebra, for example, you
Speaker 5: would go okay, yeah, I used to have these.
Speaker 7: I used to have these pair of zebra boots. They
Speaker 7: were made of pony and I used to wear them
Speaker 7: all the time. The Red Carpets. I had to be
Speaker 7: like fifteen years old.
Speaker 5: And when I I was like seven or eight years old,
Speaker 5: I started going to the Wild Animal Kingdom and I
Speaker 5: loved looking at the Zebras. The Zebras were literally my
Speaker 5: favorite animals.
Speaker 7: And look at you in a black and white relationship right.
Speaker 3: Now, I'd say, very impressive. Was that very impressive?
Speaker 2: Did you ever notice if the Zebras were next to
Speaker 2: the cheetah girls taking it there? Thank you?
Speaker 5: I didn't ever notice if I saw any cheetah girls
Speaker 5: next to the Zebras, But I wasn't looking for the cheeta.
Speaker 6: Girls, so I don't know.
Speaker 2: I am, oh, were you gonna? No?
Speaker 4: I do want to talk about the dynamic of working
Speaker 4: with your significant other because you guys have been together
Speaker 4: for a minute.
Speaker 7: Three years, well, married.
Speaker 3: For three years, but together for how long?
Speaker 2: Oh? Was this a controversial topic? No?
Speaker 3: I think twenty fifteen.
Speaker 7: Yeah, but we weren't together from twenty fifteen till now
Speaker 7: grow woh, okay, okay, like calculating it, vacation time, all
Speaker 7: that kind of stuff.
Speaker 3: I think it would be like four years total.
Speaker 5: We got back Torether and got married real fast.
Speaker 4: Would you do you like working together or is it
Speaker 4: like a weird dynamic working with your partner, Because I
Speaker 4: feel like I'm putting myself in that situation, and I
Speaker 4: feel like, if I was doing the podcast, it's she's
Speaker 4: my best friend, But if it was my boyfriend, I
Speaker 4: feel like, are there ever any things that come up
Speaker 4: where you're like, oh, hell, I mean yeah.
Speaker 6: Of course.
Speaker 7: I mean since I was born, I've worked with my family.
Speaker 7: My parents were my managers, and it's always been like
Speaker 7: a quote unquote family business. So when my wife expressed
Speaker 7: that she wanted to work with me, I kind of
Speaker 7: understood how to do that. And yeah, yeah, it gets
Speaker 7: a little cloudy and murky here and there when things
Speaker 7: and tension goes up or we don't agree on something,
Speaker 7: but at the end of the day, we know what this,
Speaker 7: why we're doing it, and we got to just.
Speaker 3: Blink down to the eye on the front. You can compartmentalize. Yeah,
Speaker 3: that's huge.
Speaker 2: Yeah. We had another guest on who does a podcast
Speaker 2: with our husband, and I was saying that, So my
Speaker 2: girlfriend and came on our podcast and when we right
Speaker 2: before we were supposed to do it, and it was
Speaker 2: like our we had just come out publicly and we
Speaker 2: had been together for four years at this point. We
Speaker 2: came out publicly and it was the first time where
Speaker 2: we were kind of like talking about our love story
Speaker 2: and we were both running late to the podcast and
Speaker 2: got in a fight before we had to go on
Speaker 2: and talk about our beautiful story, and so it was
Speaker 2: just like had to decompress, but like just kind of
Speaker 2: had to show up for it. So I was curious
Speaker 2: if you had had any of those moments of like,
Speaker 2: obviously we get what it's like working together, but there
Speaker 2: is that dynamic with your partner where it's like it's business,
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 6: Yeah, there definitely is.
Speaker 5: I think that it's it builds a different layer of
Speaker 5: like resiliency I think in your relationship, and I think
Speaker 5: it also like you were just saying, when you have
Speaker 5: that argument but then you have to go show up,
Speaker 5: it helps you get over things more quickly in a way,
Speaker 5: I think because it changes the energy so quickly when
Speaker 5: you like have to go put on a happy face.
Speaker 5: We've done things before where we've had an argument before.
Speaker 6: There's one that sticks out to.
Speaker 5: Me significantly because I was in such a bad mood
Speaker 5: and I was just like, the last thing I want
Speaker 5: to do right now is just be like happy and conversational.
Speaker 5: I don't want to talk to anyone, see anyone. I
Speaker 5: don't want to be around Raven. But you know, the
Speaker 5: show must go on. And there's something in that that
Speaker 5: also made me go, wow, that's a new strength for
Speaker 5: me to pull on where I can actually like get
Speaker 5: over the bad mood and move through it more quickly
Speaker 5: because I'd actually rather be in a happy state than
Speaker 5: an upset state in general, learn how to fix that.
Speaker 5: But yeah, we're humans easy.
Speaker 2: I saw a quote that you did. I don't know
Speaker 2: if it was right when you came out Raven, but
Speaker 2: you were saying how you kind of had this thought
Speaker 2: of like not knowing if you would ever publicly feel
Speaker 2: comfortable being out and you were kind of like, Okay,
Speaker 2: I'll have a boyfriend or a husband, and then I'll
Speaker 2: have a friend my best friend. Have you read Seven
Speaker 2: Husbands of Evely and Hugo, Oh my god, I have. Okay.
Speaker 2: It reminded me of that when I saw the quote,
Speaker 2: because I was like, that's kind of what she decided
Speaker 2: to do.
Speaker 5: Yeah, as you remember, I told you about the book
Speaker 5: and I was like, oh, it's a lesbian love story
Speaker 5: and she was you.
Speaker 6: Might not, I kind of do. She was a celebrity.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was wondering if you that's where your inspo
Speaker 2: was because I was like, oh, that sounds like that's
Speaker 2: not really.
Speaker 7: My genre of book. Can give me like the Da
Speaker 7: Vinci Code any day.
Speaker 2: Other things.
Speaker 7: I'm like, I live this, I don't have to read
Speaker 7: about it.
Speaker 3: Obviously.
Speaker 5: The Triggering Book, I even remember reading that and I
Speaker 5: was like, this is it's so real, Like it's yeah,
Speaker 5: I think it would trigger you all the triggers.
Speaker 6: Listen.
Speaker 7: That mentality was based off of what the societal norms
Speaker 7: were at the time. Growing up, and as I continued
Speaker 7: to live in my skin unapologetically slash with masks on still,
Speaker 7: you know, I slowly found a way to feel comfortable
Speaker 7: by peeking my head and my eyes above that mask.
Speaker 7: And then with this podcast with my wife, there's a
Speaker 7: new mask that I've created where it's closer to who
Speaker 7: I am, but with entertainment still there. Because it's really
Speaker 7: important to keep some of yourself outside, I mean, keep
Speaker 7: some of yourself inside to where the public's not stealing
Speaker 7: your entire soul.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like you know a lot about that,
Speaker 2: and yeah, yeah, I felt like when going through, when
Speaker 2: I was still publicly in the closet, like I was
Speaker 2: out with everyone in my life, but I remember thinking
Speaker 2: I came from the bachelor world, so it was like
Speaker 2: very hetero and very conservative, and so when it was like,
Speaker 2: you know, I finally felt safe to come out, I
Speaker 2: just had this support system around me. So there wasn't
Speaker 2: that much fear around like what the public would say
Speaker 2: or thing, because there was like the people that mattered
Speaker 2: that were supporting me. So I didn't know if you
Speaker 2: had that experience when you made that decision, because you
Speaker 2: had a lot more eyes on you and came from
Speaker 2: a very child based programming.
Speaker 7: When I came out, I had the support of my friends,
Speaker 7: but I also don't keep a very large friend group,
Speaker 7: not the support of my family to be one hundred,
Speaker 7: and I had the support of the government, so I
Speaker 7: felt like I was good. Like, if you have something
Speaker 7: to say, the government says it's legal, so gives mess.
Speaker 7: That's kind of how I felt about it. My partner
Speaker 7: at the time was obviously very supportive and was like, Oh,
Speaker 7: thank god, you can stop like hiding me, you know.
Speaker 7: And then yeah, it's difficult. It's difficult to come out
Speaker 7: without a support group. But then there comes a point
Speaker 7: sometimes where your mental health and human being needs to
Speaker 7: be free and you just don't give up anymore, you
Speaker 7: know what I mean.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's kind of Actually reading Seven Husbands, I was like,
Speaker 2: it almost felt so parallel to what I was navigating
Speaker 2: that it gave It gave me this like weird feeling
Speaker 2: of what am I I'm living my life for other people,
Speaker 2: worrying about the opinion of people who don't even know me,
Speaker 2: and it was kind of that reality. So and just
Speaker 2: thanks for sharing that. I wanted to touch on that,
Speaker 2: just because.
Speaker 7: I mean, thanks for understanding the strugg There are so
Speaker 7: many people that go through that that don't have words
Speaker 7: to attach it to, don't necessarily know what that feeling
Speaker 7: is and needs communication and the right vocabulary to express
Speaker 7: it and to know that they're not going through it
Speaker 7: by themselves.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, it's important.
Speaker 4: And do you feel like age played a factor in
Speaker 4: that too, where you said you got to the point
Speaker 4: where you're like, I just don't give up anymore.
Speaker 3: Do you feel like age was part of that.
Speaker 7: Age was part of it, for sure, Sickness was part
Speaker 7: of it for sure. And honestly, the support.
Speaker 6: Of the government.
Speaker 7: Like, in the back of my head I knew I
Speaker 7: was like, if this is ever legal, then I'm okay.
Speaker 7: You know, so weird.
Speaker 5: It's specifically referring to gay marriage being legalized.
Speaker 7: Yes, so yeah, oh yeah, it's always legal to be gay.
Speaker 2: I mean right everywhere. Yeah, it's scary. I've y all
Speaker 2: talked about the story of how you two met, because
Speaker 2: we we've hinted that it was around the year twenty fifteen.
Speaker 5: So we met, and yeah, we did.
Speaker 6: We met in the.
Speaker 5: Middle of twenty fifteen, and we met at a karaoke
Speaker 5: night in West Hollywood that Raven was hosting, and we
Speaker 5: basically like hit it off, and she was like, great,
Speaker 5: I'd love to see you again, but I'm moving to
Speaker 5: New York next week, so come to my goodbye my house,
Speaker 5: Like she was staring a house party, goodbye house party,
Speaker 5: and I was like.
Speaker 6: Okay, cool. It was like a total whirlwind.
Speaker 5: And we had a solo date the Friday before her
Speaker 5: house party, which was on a Saturday, and we hung
Speaker 5: out like way late into the night.
Speaker 6: We just talked and talked and talked.
Speaker 5: We went to our house party, and then she came
Speaker 5: back to my place on Sunday after she had recovered
Speaker 5: from the craziness the debauchery of the house party with
Speaker 5: me until she left to go to New York to
Speaker 5: do the view and bought me a plane ticket to
Speaker 5: come see her in New York And I never left
Speaker 5: until she broke with me.
Speaker 2: How long was that was that? So that was like
Speaker 2: a year? Right?
Speaker 5: That was basically a little under a year.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 4: You know, every beautiful love story goes through a breakup
Speaker 4: and then a coming back together.
Speaker 3: So I'm here for.
Speaker 2: That happened to Tanya too.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, really, I mean it's sometimes like we actually
Speaker 5: say that we're super grateful for those years because our
Speaker 5: three or so years apart, we both grew and learned
Speaker 5: and had new perspective on what we had found in
Speaker 5: each other, and it was it was needed.
Speaker 3: And so how did you ultimately get back together?
Speaker 7: I well, during COVID, I separated from somebody that I
Speaker 7: was talking to. I purged the house. I had four
Speaker 7: one night, hundred junk dump trucks come to my house
Speaker 7: and cleaned out the entire house.
Speaker 3: Great feeling.
Speaker 6: It was fantastic.
Speaker 7: I think I'm the only person in the world who
Speaker 7: loved lockdown like I thrived. And well, no, my wife
Speaker 7: did too. And during that time I called her and
Speaker 7: I text, called, text whatever, and I was like, you
Speaker 7: were right, I have issues and we can be friends now.
Speaker 7: And then she kept she stayed in my pocket as
Speaker 7: I cleaned the house, and then, like.
Speaker 6: She means, she kept me on FaceTime.
Speaker 5: She'd call me at like six thirty in the morning,
Speaker 5: and mind you, it's COVID, it's I'm you.
Speaker 7: I got none to do.
Speaker 3: I'm like trying to.
Speaker 5: Sleep at least until eight, But like six thirty in
Speaker 5: the morning, I'd see her and then I'd get, of course,
Speaker 5: butterflies and so excited.
Speaker 6: I'd opened the phone and then she's.
Speaker 5: Like, Hi, oh my god, Okay, wait, where do you
Speaker 5: think I should put this person. Where do you think
Speaker 5: I should do this? Because she's reorganizing everything. And then
Speaker 5: she would just put me in her pocket and proceed
Speaker 5: to clean her house and do things. So I'd just
Speaker 5: hear the shuffles and see a black screen and occasionally
Speaker 5: like up her nose and it was great.
Speaker 7: And so then she proceeded to make me a package,
Speaker 7: a COVID package. And that was the moment I was like,
Speaker 7: m mine.
Speaker 5: I mean, I don't know how much time we have,
Speaker 5: but you guys, that package I had it caused me
Speaker 5: so much stress. I was like, this thing needs to
Speaker 5: be perfect. I baked all of these cookies. I made
Speaker 5: her lemon curd, I made I made her lemon curd,
Speaker 5: I made barbecue sauce. I made a sticky, ooey, gooey buttercake,
Speaker 5: all her favorites, deserts right, and I send it out.
Speaker 5: I pay like it's cope. Remember how crazy the mail was? Yeah,
Speaker 5: so shipping is already going to be expensive for something overnight.
Speaker 5: And I also should mention that I had gone up
Speaker 5: to Washington to my mom. I'd left LA and I
Speaker 5: sund the package it gets lost. They're like, it's going
Speaker 5: to be three days now, everything's going to rot. I know,
Speaker 5: interscept the package with the ups I have then to
Speaker 5: make a whole new one.
Speaker 6: It was blood, sweat and tears.
Speaker 7: I got that package on Mary, I got that package.
Speaker 7: I'm like, oh, let me just let me just lock
Speaker 7: this down, let me get this lemon curd.
Speaker 2: Lid.
Speaker 4: But did it symbolize something for you? Just like the
Speaker 4: fact that she paid attention to like your favorite things
Speaker 4: and put so much time and effort and energy into
Speaker 4: like making that.
Speaker 7: Oh, the way you say it is how I should
Speaker 7: say it right, Like that's the perfect sentthing. I should
Speaker 7: say it just like that. However, I'm going to say
Speaker 7: it how I'm going to say it.
Speaker 2: That was bad.
Speaker 7: And I wanted more of it for the rest of
Speaker 7: my life. She knew that I liked food mud belief.
Speaker 7: But even when we were dating back in twenty fifteen,
Speaker 7: she used to make these like this ziletus. She used
Speaker 7: to make these amazing prenatal vitamin bars because I wanted
Speaker 7: to grow my hair out and grow my nails. She
Speaker 7: was like, I know, I'm going to help you grow
Speaker 7: your nails in hair. So she put these beautiful, amazing
Speaker 7: tasting granola bars and with vitamins in it, and I
Speaker 7: would eat it on the way to the view. And
Speaker 7: so she was always an amazing chef and we really
Speaker 7: connect on food a lot, and I was just like,
Speaker 7: none of my other partners ever fed my belly, and
Speaker 7: you know, the belly is the second brain.
Speaker 5: The best thing to me though about those bars is
Speaker 5: I was customizing them to Ravens nutritional wants at the time.
Speaker 5: But then of course she loves to share, so we
Speaker 5: had everyone at the view eating pre natals in granola
Speaker 5: bars not knowing. So like I'd have these like grip
Speaker 5: men come up to me and they're like, oh, Maranda,
Speaker 5: that bar. So I'm like, you're gonna have better hair.
Speaker 5: You're like, I'm just laughing to my never had. My
Speaker 5: wife was like, you're literally eating vagina jue.
Speaker 3: Like you're eating vagina juice.
Speaker 2: How do you know how to do that? Like is
Speaker 2: that something that you studied or what?
Speaker 6: She's a little white witch. No, I did not.
Speaker 5: I mean my study, yes, I guess I did.
Speaker 2: Kind of.
Speaker 5: It was called staying home from school because I had
Speaker 5: an air quote stomach ache and watching Ricky Lake, Jenny
Speaker 5: Jones and then Food Network until about seven thirty PM.
Speaker 5: So that was my I went to the school Food Network. Yeah,
Speaker 5: and I also I think that as a person who
Speaker 5: grew up with a lot of anxiety and from such
Speaker 5: a young age, I was anxious, I couldn't I didn't
Speaker 5: have access to like drugs or alcohol at that point.
Speaker 5: I think that would have been my coping mechanism if
Speaker 5: I was older. Maybe, I don't know, but that was
Speaker 5: a way for me to channel that energy. So being
Speaker 5: and using my hands from a young age, I loved baking.
Speaker 7: And I reaped the benefit.
Speaker 5: And yeah, yeah, and now I just now I love
Speaker 5: nutrition too, so I like PA too, and it's fun.
Speaker 2: That's would you ever want to start your own brand,
Speaker 2: like like the bars?
Speaker 5: It's interesting because I've actually I just sent my dad.
Speaker 7: Oh, she makes these amazing peanut butter bark things and
Speaker 7: these madelines because I'm Keto slashical carb and she has
Speaker 7: to like when she makes stuff that has did not
Speaker 7: have a whole bunch of sugar in it, otherwise I'll
Speaker 7: get the Beaties and literally literally the best food you'll
Speaker 7: ever put in.
Speaker 5: But I spent my dad a care package kind of
Speaker 5: of those things that Raven just mentioned, and he texted
Speaker 5: me yesterday and he was like, these are so good,
Speaker 5: you could sell them. And people say that, and Raven
Speaker 5: said that back in twenty yeh.
Speaker 7: But I don't lie. I don't just blow smoke, you
Speaker 7: know what.
Speaker 5: But here, here's the deal.
Speaker 6: Would I do it? I don't know when I do it.
Speaker 5: When I was working as a doula, part of me
Speaker 5: thought about trying to get into lactation cookies because that's
Speaker 5: the real thing. Oh yeah, I would totally say.
Speaker 7: Let me answer your question. Yes, with this podcast, pops
Speaker 7: all and my wife and I are in our fifties,
Speaker 7: which is very soon because I'm thirty seven.
Speaker 2: That's not very soon, Raven, don't get a stressed.
Speaker 5: Dollars twenty years, you guys can look forward to lacking
Speaker 5: I mean prena.
Speaker 7: Yeah, lactating bars, and that's the trend now people having
Speaker 7: babies at seventies, so you might as well.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but you know they do have like I don't
Speaker 4: know if you've heard of Nowhere Bakery, but she just
Speaker 4: does it out of her house and you like order
Speaker 4: them on her Instagram and then pick them up from
Speaker 4: it's like Nowhere Bakery because I think it's like her house.
Speaker 3: You pick them up from that's spoil.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 7: The problem is is when she does it, I'm gonna
Speaker 7: want to eat it. So it's like do I want
Speaker 7: to share or does she just have to make a
Speaker 7: bigger back so I can make sure I taste everything
Speaker 7: and on bigger batches like.
Speaker 5: I would do that, But also like how many cookies
Speaker 5: do I have to sell before or bars before I
Speaker 5: start seeing a return on my work time?
Speaker 2: This is well, see, this will be a passion project
Speaker 2: to start and then with the podcast. If you did
Speaker 2: it while the podcast is happening, it's like free publicity.
Speaker 2: Every time you're talking about baking a new batch.
Speaker 7: Your baking would be my painting.
Speaker 2: Hey, yeah, Raven, I was gonna ask you about that.
Speaker 7: I wasn't doing that, as I wasn't doing that, as
Speaker 7: you don't have to talk about it.
Speaker 2: Was that something because I just wanted because Tanya's boyfriend
Speaker 2: is a lawyer, but he his passion is painting, and
Speaker 2: I saw your TikTok about that, so I thought that
Speaker 2: was a good connector to talk about because I imagine in
Speaker 2: the industry and what being so young when you started,
Speaker 2: there has to be something that is an outlet, like
Speaker 2: for Miranda, yours has been for your anxiety? It was
Speaker 2: baking and creating nutritional foods. Is that something that you
Speaker 2: found recently or has that always been something you loved.
Speaker 7: So I was on a show called Hang with Mister
Speaker 7: Cooper in nineteen ninety seven and I would get stressed out.
Speaker 7: I would get fever blisters, I would just wow really bad.
Speaker 7: So my mom took me to painting schools on the
Speaker 7: weekends and I would doodle all over my script. I
Speaker 7: would go to class. He still has one of my
Speaker 7: first pastel pieces at home. It was a clown. And
Speaker 7: from that moment on, anytime I got stressed or needed
Speaker 7: to zone out, I always drew. And when I was
Speaker 7: doing that, so Raven I was also getting stressed out.
Speaker 7: And I actually did pottery during that time. So when
Speaker 7: I finished doing my six month stin on Broadway and
Speaker 7: on Sister Act, I was telling my dresser. I was like,
Speaker 7: I am so over the industry. You couldn't pay me
Speaker 7: a zillion dollars to do one more piece of work.
Speaker 7: And she was like, well, what are you going to do?
Speaker 7: Because you know what are you gonna do? And I
Speaker 7: was like, I'm I'm gonna paint I'm gonna go to school.
Speaker 7: So I went to college and I got my AA
Speaker 7: and then Whoopi Goldberg called me and asked me to
Speaker 7: be on the ve and I was like, oh, I
Speaker 7: guess that.
Speaker 3: Is I'm back are.
Speaker 7: But even during that time, always painting, And now that
Speaker 7: there's so much going on at home in the sense
Speaker 7: of starting the podcast, creating our production company, and all
Speaker 7: the other work we're doing, I've set up the guest
Speaker 7: room as my art space, and you know, we joke
Speaker 7: about it. She's like, are we married. I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 7: but I'm just gonna be in this art room for
Speaker 7: a little while.
Speaker 5: I've seen her in three days. She's this morning for
Speaker 5: us to do interviews.
Speaker 7: Really it's not a full exaggeration, but it's like a
Speaker 7: baby exaggeration, but it's not full.
Speaker 5: It's like pretty true. It's kind of close.
Speaker 1: It's like.
Speaker 3: Two person to do. That's so nice.
Speaker 4: What like a beautiful way to be able to express yourself.
Speaker 7: It's so funny because it is. It is so beautiful
Speaker 7: and it's so freeing and no one can tell me
Speaker 7: what to do, except for when my wife needs a
Speaker 7: present for her dad, and then she tells me exactly
Speaker 7: what she wants me to like.
Speaker 5: That's not how this commissioning no exactly an official name.
Speaker 3: For this is not how I work.
Speaker 7: I do not like to get told what to paint.
Speaker 2: That.
Speaker 6: I was like, can I just have a landscape?
Speaker 5: She comes back with like an abstract with blocks of
Speaker 5: color and like a swiggle in the center, and I
Speaker 5: was like, what am I looking at?
Speaker 6: And she's like, you can't tell me what to do.
Speaker 7: And then she proceeds to like I want this, this, this, this,
Speaker 7: and I'm like, okay, fine, So I just.
Speaker 5: Wanted the landscape with some golfers and I get like
Speaker 5: these like hot pink blocks of color that look like
Speaker 5: modern monochrome bubbles.
Speaker 6: I don't even know you guys remember the movie Toy.
Speaker 7: I think it was called Toy.
Speaker 6: With Dory, the one with Robert and.
Speaker 7: I'm sorry with Robin Williams. Yeah, like that landscape belonged
Speaker 7: in that movie. Okay, it was like modern.
Speaker 5: It wasn't a landscape, babes, it was a painting and
Speaker 5: belong anywhere, but landscapes.
Speaker 7: It's my happy I want.
Speaker 2: When I saw your TikTok it, it was like a variety.
Speaker 2: I was thinking, what is going on in her brain
Speaker 2: where this is what comes out onto the paper because
Speaker 2: it's beautiful. But it wasn't like oh it all looks
Speaker 2: the same or it's watercolor. It's like you have there's
Speaker 2: a lot going on and it's all just like amazing.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 7: One of the pieces, one of the pieces that my
Speaker 7: wife actually likes is hanging in Whoope's house.
Speaker 6: Wow, God, Raven.
Speaker 5: Every painting that Raven has made that I love and
Speaker 5: feel some connection to, she gives away, Like she just
Speaker 5: gave a piece to Demi Levado and I was like, wait,
Speaker 5: you're giving that to Demi? What She's like Yeah, And
Speaker 5: I was like, oh, sit in the house.
Speaker 7: She didn't say that when it was in the house.
Speaker 3: Yeah, why don't you say anything in the house.
Speaker 5: Because I you guys, So every time of hers that's
Speaker 5: like hanging, I have to talk about it or she's
Speaker 5: gonna give it every day. That is beautiful.
Speaker 2: This dynamic is so funny because so my girlfriend's a
Speaker 2: musician too, and she's in the industry, so like this
Speaker 2: dynamic feels so familiar to me of her having her
Speaker 2: things and me having to be like, wow, let's talk
Speaker 2: about it.
Speaker 7: I need to I need what is it?
Speaker 2: I need validation validation too.
Speaker 7: I think that's the only thing I need validation.
Speaker 2: Ay, that's true.
Speaker 7: I don't need validation anywhere else. It's so weird, but
Speaker 7: I've been so self aware, oh, self aware, self assured self,
Speaker 7: like I can do myself. Okay, I can do it
Speaker 7: self sufficient, deficient, thank you see dictionary that the I'm
Speaker 7: just realizing this as we speak, that the only thing
Speaker 7: I need validation and is my painting. I come to
Speaker 7: you all the time like look what I did.
Speaker 6: Yes, I knew that.
Speaker 5: I knew that, and I watch it and I also
Speaker 5: do it with strangers, which is like Raven is never like, hey,
Speaker 5: did you see this episode of Raven's Home, And she's
Speaker 5: like a sting I made, sir. I know, I don't
Speaker 5: know you, but look, and especially if it's another art artist,
Speaker 5: then you get like really.
Speaker 2: Struck I do. She's just like.
Speaker 5: She's like, oh, I'm good, and then she like runs
Speaker 5: home and has to get into her room immediately and
Speaker 5: start creating more.
Speaker 6: It's true.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you're human too.
Speaker 2: Do y'all spend like all your time together? What do
Speaker 2: you say outside of work out of the house.
Speaker 7: I'm gonna let her answer that.
Speaker 6: No, no, we don't.
Speaker 3: Falsetto feels like it's a yes.
Speaker 6: We don't.
Speaker 5: We really don't. I think that why anymore anymore, I guess.
Speaker 5: I mean I was trying to say that Raven went
Speaker 5: to the club the other weekend.
Speaker 6: I did not attend. There are definitely things I got
Speaker 6: a facial you did not attend. At the beginning of.
Speaker 7: Our relationship, we did everything together. There was definitely a
Speaker 7: COVID slash even after COVID connection. And then as we
Speaker 7: continue to grow individually, I think the need for up
Speaker 7: underneath each other's armpits kind of subsided, and the fact
Speaker 7: that we're working together fills certain voids too, So we
Speaker 7: are now more comfortable doing things on our own when
Speaker 7: like at the beginning of the relationship is like I
Speaker 7: gotta go to seven eleven, when you go with me,
Speaker 7: I gotta go to the bathroom, can hold me here? Like,
Speaker 7: we don't do that anymore. And now I was like,
Speaker 7: get the way, but I look so much.
Speaker 3: No judgment over here.
Speaker 2: No, we're both very attached.
Speaker 3: It's it's not code dependent. It's really not codependent. It's
Speaker 3: attacked you. It's codependent. Oh, it's getting dark.
Speaker 7: I think there's a healthy codependence, and I think that
Speaker 7: we have like there's a healthy like I don't want
Speaker 7: you to watch that show without me, because you.
Speaker 2: Know what I mean.
Speaker 7: But at the same time, I need like thirty minutes
Speaker 7: to myself right now without you, and then let me
Speaker 7: miss you a little bit slash. You know. At the
Speaker 7: beginning of our relationship, my wife was like, you're never
Speaker 7: going on vacation without me.
Speaker 3: Never.
Speaker 6: I was like, okay, I'm sorry, that's not how that happened.
Speaker 6: That what happened.
Speaker 5: Her dream vacation would be her going alone. And I
Speaker 5: was like, I'm sorry, what and she was like, yeah,
Speaker 5: I think it'd be really cool if you and I
Speaker 5: took separate vacations. And I was like, and I'm going
Speaker 5: to tell you right now, I still disagree with that.
Speaker 5: I can understand somebody saying like I want to go solo,
Speaker 5: but don't make me go on vacation solo.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I say, where you want to.
Speaker 7: But I was bringing that up because I had to
Speaker 7: go to Atlanta for family and she was like, go.
Speaker 7: I was like, I'm going with that. She's like, we
Speaker 7: got this, and I was like, okay.
Speaker 5: That's also the thing that's so funny is When I
Speaker 5: said to her that I didn't want to go, she goes,
Speaker 5: don't make me go alone. Don't make me And so
Speaker 5: this is what I'm saying, and like this setting is always.
Speaker 2: Like yeah, no, Childrel.
Speaker 5: I have this codependent wife who walk to the bathroom
Speaker 5: with me and sit there and want no I'm the
Speaker 5: bathroom and in our real life, I'm like, I'm going
Speaker 5: to go to the market.
Speaker 2: She's like, do you need me to come?
Speaker 5: Writing non finding.
Speaker 2: Raven, when is your birthday?
Speaker 6: I'm a Sagittarius.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm seeing so many similars. Yeah, I feel like
Speaker 2: you're like seeing your eye. I'm like dying laughing because
Speaker 2: you are literally Haleyan like I am. And it's the
Speaker 2: there is something about is it? Hailey aries though?
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 2: But so when we went to we just went on
Speaker 2: a vacation together and she just got off tour and
Speaker 2: she was like, I just need to decompress. And I
Speaker 2: was like, if you need to go alone, like I
Speaker 2: totally understand, even if you need to go for a
Speaker 2: few days and just like decompressed by yourself. And she
Speaker 2: was like, you don't want to go, And I was like, well,
Speaker 2: you kind of made it seem like that was what
Speaker 2: you really needed. So I was just giving you that
Speaker 2: space if you needed it, and she was like, no,
Speaker 2: I want to go with you. And it was like
Speaker 2: this whole thing of her acting like too cool, nonchalant,
Speaker 2: I can go by myself. I need a loone time.
Speaker 2: But then when I offered it, you.
Speaker 4: Also being like, oh, you need to go decompressed, like
Speaker 4: you were playing a game too.
Speaker 2: I know you.
Speaker 5: I heard I agree with you.
Speaker 2: That he came back. Yes, we all we went together
Speaker 2: the whole trip and it was great. I know you'm
Speaker 2: a scorpio. Yeah.
Speaker 5: I mean, look, I will say I have had relationship trauma,
Speaker 5: as probably most of us had, and that's where Raven
Speaker 5: is a much more what's it called, like I have
Speaker 5: insecure attachment, she has an avoidant attachment. So as an
Speaker 5: insecure attached person, in the early days of our relationship, I.
Speaker 6: Was very scared. It is actually fear based. It was
Speaker 6: fear motivated.
Speaker 5: It's not like I wanted to go everywhere she was
Speaker 5: going with her all the time. It was that my
Speaker 5: brain was telling me that if I didn't, something bad
Speaker 5: would happen, and who knew what that would be.
Speaker 4: Go ahead, you reverse that because because I'm also insecurely attached.
Speaker 3: Did you find like a turning point or like when
Speaker 3: did that flip for you?
Speaker 5: Well, I have to say a lot of it is
Speaker 5: my partner, like what Raven did for me, which I
Speaker 5: never had, And I believe my insecure attachment started in
Speaker 5: my childhood home. I never got to learn the lesson that,
Speaker 5: like the baby bird can leave the nest and come
Speaker 5: back to the nest and everything is still there and
Speaker 5: safe and secure. I didn't feel that way. So in
Speaker 5: the first two years of our marriage, really Raven took
Speaker 5: a lot of time and patience to let.
Speaker 6: Me know that I was safe here.
Speaker 5: And because I also recognized that quickly, I understood that
Speaker 5: I had to do my work too. So if Raven's
Speaker 5: going to like say, hey, you're safe, and how I'm
Speaker 5: showing you you're safe is I'm telling you where I
Speaker 5: am when I go there, I'm texting you when I say.
Speaker 5: She was being consistent and reliable and she was doing
Speaker 5: what she said, which then gave me confidence in our
Speaker 5: relationship and trust to where I could then go, Okay,
Speaker 5: I'm going to go out here by myself and do this,
Speaker 5: or she's good, I'm going to say, you go there,
Speaker 5: and I'll stay here, and I'm going to trust that
Speaker 5: even if I don't hear from her that everything's fine.
Speaker 6: And I worked on myself, and I.
Speaker 5: Also knew that the things that were motivating my inscure
Speaker 5: attachment were not healthy and I didn't want to feel
Speaker 5: that way because I feel so victim to those thoughts
Speaker 5: and I don't like that. I didn't like that. So
Speaker 5: it was really just working on myself, but also having
Speaker 5: a partner who understood it and was willing to not
Speaker 5: personalize it. That's where I think couples end up like
Speaker 5: fighting over these things, and it's really hard when it's
Speaker 5: not like something you're trying to do. Yeah, you're a
Speaker 5: product of this scenario that kind of turned you into that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's it's such a it has to
Speaker 2: be a healthy balance of your partner meeting you and
Speaker 2: also you being able, like I've had to work on
Speaker 2: my own things like can't rely on Haley to fix
Speaker 2: certain things that she didn't that aren't about even her,
Speaker 2: you know exactly. So I think it's like giving both
Speaker 2: of you credit for being able to get over that,
Speaker 2: cause it's it's not easy.
Speaker 5: It's not easy at all. It's not easy at all,
Speaker 5: and I think just being able to say that and
Speaker 5: recognize that we both have it right.
Speaker 6: So it's like.
Speaker 5: Mine shows up as an insecure attachment. Her shows up
Speaker 5: as an avoidant. She is having to do work and
Speaker 5: feel certain levels of security within me that to come
Speaker 5: have a conversation.
Speaker 6: Like, that's a trust thing right there.
Speaker 5: So the exhibiting of the behavior is different, but it's
Speaker 5: still rooted in the same thing.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a really good point before we let y'all go,
Speaker 2: because I know y'all have a busy day. We this podcast,
Speaker 2: Scrubbing In was kind of based off of our love
Speaker 2: for Gray's Anatomy and I know that you got married
Speaker 2: in a private ceremony on Debbie Allen's in her backyard.
Speaker 2: Is that right, front yard? Her front yard? Oh, it's nice.
Speaker 2: She has a big enough front yard.
Speaker 6: To have one girls.
Speaker 3: She deserves it.
Speaker 2: I just thought that was like a really fun little connector.
Speaker 3: A little pin in the little bow on top.
Speaker 7: Debbie Allen is one of the most amazing women that
Speaker 7: we have in our family tree that we've collected together.
Speaker 7: She has taken care of me so many years and
Speaker 7: she I told her just nonchalantly. I was like, yeah,
Speaker 7: I'm gonna get married. She's like, where I'm coming.
Speaker 6: I was like, no, no, nowhere.
Speaker 7: We're probably just gonna go, you know, to the court house.
Speaker 7: She was like, no, You're having it in the front yard.
Speaker 7: She made these my favorite food when I go over
Speaker 7: to her, which are coconut fried oysters, oysters, and she
Speaker 7: had lobster.
Speaker 5: She did mac and cheese, lobster mac and cheese pin
Speaker 5: and she got us a cake and awer. We got
Speaker 5: very twenty twenty, so it was still really it.
Speaker 7: Was her, her husband, our efficient, two of my friends,
Speaker 7: two of Miranda's friends, and that's it so well special
Speaker 7: for amazing, and she let us use her crown, her
Speaker 7: king and Queen chairs, and she's forever in our hearts.
Speaker 2: Mom, Mom, I love that too. Where can everyone follow you? Guys?
Speaker 2: I know the podcast The Best Podcast Ever is out now? Yes,
Speaker 2: And where can everyone listen and follow you?
Speaker 5: You can listen wherever you like listening to your podcasts.
Speaker 5: We are on Instagram at the Best pod Ever.
Speaker 7: And mine is Raymond Simone and hers is Miranda may
Speaker 7: Day on TikTok and Instagram.
Speaker 2: Yeah, easy way to lock thank you so much. I
Speaker 2: know you'll have a busy day and I can't wait
Speaker 2: to hear the podcast and congratulations.
Speaker 3: Yeah, congrat you guys.
Speaker 5: Hope we out in the world.
Speaker 2: Yes you soon, I'm sure, all right, everybody, that's it
Speaker 2: for today. But before we.
Speaker 4: Go, yes, we would be it would be illegal for
Speaker 4: us to have a podcast.
Speaker 2: We would be arrested on site, on site if we
Speaker 2: didn't do this in.
Speaker 1: The o R.
Speaker 2: Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday,
Speaker 2: dear Ma.
Speaker 8: Happy, Thank you so much, thank you. I want to
Speaker 8: thank everybody. You know what an honorative to be part
Speaker 8: of this show every week and to be part of
Speaker 8: the SCU Big Nation because the scrubbers have been so
Speaker 8: incredibly nice and generous to me over the past six years.
Speaker 2: It's been a long time, almost six years.
Speaker 8: So thank you for letting me be a part of.
Speaker 2: This scrub Nations. Yes, scrub scrub Nation, rise up all
Speaker 2: of it.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 8: Really.
Speaker 2: I won't.
Speaker 3: Any big birthday plans.
Speaker 8: No, I've asked my wife to make me the special
Speaker 8: sandwich that she makes, but the panini that I love
Speaker 8: so much, my favorite sandwich in the world.
Speaker 2: What's on this that is the only request.
Speaker 8: This crunchy panini bread, not too crunchy, like dry crunchy.
Speaker 8: It's like this perfect panini bread. It's got like you know,
Speaker 8: cold caughts, like some chicken and some turkey in there,
Speaker 8: and then she puts like tomato, and then the bread
Speaker 8: is jlopenos in it, and then the cheese on it.
Speaker 8: It's just heaven. It is absolute heaven. Is the best
Speaker 8: sandwich I've ever had.
Speaker 3: Money sandwiches were until I just had one.
Speaker 8: You showed me one. That may be really jealous, but yeah,
Speaker 8: that's what I've asked for for my birthday. But it's busy,
Speaker 8: you know, it's a busy time. My daughter's going to
Speaker 8: UCLA this weekend for three weeks. She got into this
Speaker 8: special musical theater program that they're doing there. Uh the
Speaker 8: other Dan, the other one that my youngest daughter is
Speaker 8: dancing all day every day this week she's had a thing.
Speaker 8: So I don't think it's gonna be a lot of
Speaker 8: stuff going on. Maybe this weekend will get out, but
Speaker 8: it's a busy time.
Speaker 3: So you're getting a sandwich if I'm.
Speaker 2: Lucky, Yeah, a four half.
Speaker 8: I'm hoping for maybe two.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you do it. And
Speaker 2: the pie.
Speaker 8: I do love pie. Tony and I have gone back
Speaker 8: and forth on this for years.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's your favorite pie?
Speaker 3: Because it doesn't really how to discriminate to who.
Speaker 8: Do you like?
Speaker 2: Chocolate or fruit?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 8: Fruit? If I had to pick one, to be a
Speaker 8: cherry pie, that's my favorite, but I like all fruit pies.
Speaker 2: You know what would be really good is a chocolate
Speaker 2: cherry pie.
Speaker 8: That would be good. And by that's changed too. I'm
Speaker 8: way more into chocolate pie than I used to be.
Speaker 2: Chocolate pie is deliciously.
Speaker 3: I remember last year or was it last year, I
Speaker 3: found like this place that does like.
Speaker 8: Yeah, that was Yeah, that was great.
Speaker 2: An assortment pie.
Speaker 3: You can have all these.
Speaker 8: Cherry That was a blueberry pie. Yam delicious banana cream pipe.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah. Do you like the McDonald's pies?
Speaker 8: Yeah? Those are great, delicious, surprisingly.
Speaker 3: Delicious pie apple.
Speaker 8: They're always so incredibly hot that you just get angry.
Speaker 2: Yeah you can't. It's like a hot pocket.
Speaker 8: Yeah you got bite off the end of but it's great. Yeah,
Speaker 8: those are delicious.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the real ones. No, Happy Mark, Happy marke Day
Speaker 3: Birthday