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Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya red An iHeartRadio Podcast.

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Speaker 2: Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in.

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Speaker 3: Yes, we are in our matching Stanley's.

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Speaker 2: Almost matching, same size, same size, but not the same color. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but it's fine, Yeah, because we're scrubbing in exactly. And

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Speaker 2: we don't have just one special guest today. We have

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Speaker 2: two special guests and they happen to be a couple,

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Speaker 2: which we love.

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Speaker 3: We love a couple.

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Speaker 2: We love a couple. And one is an actor, a singer,

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Speaker 2: a producer, a director, and now a podcaster. She is

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Speaker 2: extremely passionate about issues concerning children and has been a

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Speaker 2: longtime supporter of the Make a Wish Foundation and continues

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Speaker 2: to support organizations and causes lifting up the LGBTQ plus community.

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Speaker 4: Our other guests grew up around the entertainment industry. Early

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Speaker 4: in her professional career, she spent time as a writer's

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Speaker 4: assistant and developed this skill into the personal assistant world,

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Speaker 4: managing and overseeing the lives of multiple high level talent.

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Speaker 2: This power was building a lifestyle brand that will inspire, educate,

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Speaker 2: and help others through thought provoking content and meaningful conversations.

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Speaker 1: Please help us give a warm Welcome to Raven Simone

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Speaker 1: and Mirandom may Day.

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Speaker 2: How are you going? Wow, y'all, studio is so cute.

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Speaker 2: Thank you.

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Speaker 5: I'm taking full credit for it because I designed it,

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Speaker 5: so thank you.

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Speaker 4: Is this gonna be this is your setup that you're

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Speaker 4: gonna be doing your podcast from?

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Speaker 6: This is our podcast set up?

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Speaker 1: Yes?

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Speaker 3: WHOA?

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Speaker 2: Can we get right into the podcast and talk about

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Speaker 2: like where the idea came about? When did the idea

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Speaker 2: come about? And doing it together as a couple.

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Speaker 6: Yes.

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Speaker 5: Idea kind of first started when we had our YouTube

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Speaker 5: channel and we had something called Tea Time and we

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Speaker 5: would sit down and we'd.

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Speaker 6: Pick a topic. We would just talk about that and drink.

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Speaker 5: Tea or eat a meal whatever. And then the YouTube

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Speaker 5: channel started to fizz out.

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Speaker 6: Of our ether because it was a lot of work.

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Speaker 5: But I had always wanted to start a podcast and

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Speaker 5: it took me like two years to basically get to

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Speaker 5: a place where you know, I had tried and failed

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Speaker 5: and tried, and Raven was like, Okay, I'm down.

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Speaker 6: You've convinced me.

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Speaker 5: I'll do a podcast with you, but it has to

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Speaker 5: have some fun, unique twists to it. So we were like,

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Speaker 5: let's take the tea time. Idea, let's flip it on

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Speaker 5: sead a little bit and make it more random.

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Speaker 6: And here here we are.

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Speaker 2: Wait, so what's the what is the twist? I know

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Speaker 2: what the twist is, but for those who are listening,

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Speaker 2: what's the twist?

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Speaker 6: What's the twist?

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Speaker 5: Bag?

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Speaker 7: So what happened is, uh, we spin a wheel and

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Speaker 7: the wheel lands on a random word that my wife,

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Speaker 7: myself and our guest has no clue what that word is,

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Speaker 7: and we.

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Speaker 6: Talk about it for however I long we want to

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Speaker 6: talk about.

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Speaker 2: It, Like, what have y'all y'all done? Y'all recorded episodes? Correct?

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Speaker 6: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Can you give a hint? Or wait? So if the listener,

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Speaker 2: does the listener know what the word is or is

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Speaker 2: it kind of like they guess what the random word is?

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Speaker 5: No?

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Speaker 6: No, No.

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Speaker 5: Basically what happens is we spin the wheel. You hear

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Speaker 5: this as a listener, you'll hear the sound effect of

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Speaker 5: the wheel. You'll hear a ding, and then we will

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Speaker 5: at that ding moment, we get the words sent to

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Speaker 5: us from our producer, and we know what the word

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Speaker 5: is and then we announce it. So, for example, we'd

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Speaker 5: be like, oh, the word is zebra, and then our

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Speaker 5: guest is like what, and we're like what, and then

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Speaker 5: we talk about Zebra's.

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Speaker 3: That's really hard.

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Speaker 7: It's easy, Actually, no, it is.

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Speaker 5: I mean, like, sure, you have to be a little

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Speaker 5: bit more present maybe, but actually fun. And it's interesting

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Speaker 5: to see how a word like zebra, for example, you

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Speaker 5: would go okay, yeah, I used to have these.

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Speaker 7: I used to have these pair of zebra boots. They

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Speaker 7: were made of pony and I used to wear them

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Speaker 7: all the time. The Red Carpets. I had to be

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Speaker 7: like fifteen years old.

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Speaker 5: And when I I was like seven or eight years old,

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Speaker 5: I started going to the Wild Animal Kingdom and I

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Speaker 5: loved looking at the Zebras. The Zebras were literally my

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Speaker 5: favorite animals.

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Speaker 7: And look at you in a black and white relationship right.

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Speaker 3: Now, I'd say, very impressive. Was that very impressive?

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Speaker 2: Did you ever notice if the Zebras were next to

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Speaker 2: the cheetah girls taking it there? Thank you?

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Speaker 5: I didn't ever notice if I saw any cheetah girls

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Speaker 5: next to the Zebras, But I wasn't looking for the cheeta.

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Speaker 6: Girls, so I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I am, oh, were you gonna? No?

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Speaker 4: I do want to talk about the dynamic of working

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Speaker 4: with your significant other because you guys have been together

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Speaker 4: for a minute.

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Speaker 7: Three years, well, married.

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Speaker 3: For three years, but together for how long?

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Speaker 2: Oh? Was this a controversial topic? No?

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Speaker 3: I think twenty fifteen.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, but we weren't together from twenty fifteen till now

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Speaker 7: grow woh, okay, okay, like calculating it, vacation time, all

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Speaker 7: that kind of stuff.

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Speaker 3: I think it would be like four years total.

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Speaker 5: We got back Torether and got married real fast.

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Speaker 4: Would you do you like working together or is it

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Speaker 4: like a weird dynamic working with your partner, Because I

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Speaker 4: feel like I'm putting myself in that situation, and I

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Speaker 4: feel like, if I was doing the podcast, it's she's

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Speaker 4: my best friend, But if it was my boyfriend, I

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Speaker 4: feel like, are there ever any things that come up

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Speaker 4: where you're like, oh, hell, I mean yeah.

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Speaker 6: Of course.

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Speaker 7: I mean since I was born, I've worked with my family.

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Speaker 7: My parents were my managers, and it's always been like

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Speaker 7: a quote unquote family business. So when my wife expressed

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Speaker 7: that she wanted to work with me, I kind of

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Speaker 7: understood how to do that. And yeah, yeah, it gets

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Speaker 7: a little cloudy and murky here and there when things

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Speaker 7: and tension goes up or we don't agree on something,

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Speaker 7: but at the end of the day, we know what this,

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Speaker 7: why we're doing it, and we got to just.

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Speaker 3: Blink down to the eye on the front. You can compartmentalize. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: that's huge.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. We had another guest on who does a podcast

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Speaker 2: with our husband, and I was saying that, So my

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Speaker 2: girlfriend and came on our podcast and when we right

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Speaker 2: before we were supposed to do it, and it was

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Speaker 2: like our we had just come out publicly and we

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Speaker 2: had been together for four years at this point. We

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Speaker 2: came out publicly and it was the first time where

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Speaker 2: we were kind of like talking about our love story

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Speaker 2: and we were both running late to the podcast and

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Speaker 2: got in a fight before we had to go on

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Speaker 2: and talk about our beautiful story, and so it was

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Speaker 2: just like had to decompress, but like just kind of

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Speaker 2: had to show up for it. So I was curious

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Speaker 2: if you had had any of those moments of like,

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Speaker 2: obviously we get what it's like working together, but there

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Speaker 2: is that dynamic with your partner where it's like it's business,

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Speaker 2: you know.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, there definitely is.

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Speaker 5: I think that it's it builds a different layer of

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Speaker 5: like resiliency I think in your relationship, and I think

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Speaker 5: it also like you were just saying, when you have

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Speaker 5: that argument but then you have to go show up,

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Speaker 5: it helps you get over things more quickly in a way,

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Speaker 5: I think because it changes the energy so quickly when

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Speaker 5: you like have to go put on a happy face.

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Speaker 5: We've done things before where we've had an argument before.

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Speaker 6: There's one that sticks out to.

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Speaker 5: Me significantly because I was in such a bad mood

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Speaker 5: and I was just like, the last thing I want

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Speaker 5: to do right now is just be like happy and conversational.

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Speaker 5: I don't want to talk to anyone, see anyone. I

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Speaker 5: don't want to be around Raven. But you know, the

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Speaker 5: show must go on. And there's something in that that

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Speaker 5: also made me go, wow, that's a new strength for

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Speaker 5: me to pull on where I can actually like get

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Speaker 5: over the bad mood and move through it more quickly

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Speaker 5: because I'd actually rather be in a happy state than

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Speaker 5: an upset state in general, learn how to fix that.

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Speaker 5: But yeah, we're humans easy.

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Speaker 2: I saw a quote that you did. I don't know

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Speaker 2: if it was right when you came out Raven, but

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Speaker 2: you were saying how you kind of had this thought

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Speaker 2: of like not knowing if you would ever publicly feel

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Speaker 2: comfortable being out and you were kind of like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: I'll have a boyfriend or a husband, and then I'll

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Speaker 2: have a friend my best friend. Have you read Seven

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Speaker 2: Husbands of Evely and Hugo, Oh my god, I have. Okay.

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Speaker 2: It reminded me of that when I saw the quote,

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Speaker 2: because I was like, that's kind of what she decided

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Speaker 2: to do.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, as you remember, I told you about the book

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Speaker 5: and I was like, oh, it's a lesbian love story

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Speaker 5: and she was you.

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Speaker 6: Might not, I kind of do. She was a celebrity.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I was wondering if you that's where your inspo

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Speaker 2: was because I was like, oh, that sounds like that's

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Speaker 2: not really.

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Speaker 7: My genre of book. Can give me like the Da

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Speaker 7: Vinci Code any day.

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Speaker 2: Other things.

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Speaker 7: I'm like, I live this, I don't have to read

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Speaker 7: about it.

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Speaker 3: Obviously.

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Speaker 5: The Triggering Book, I even remember reading that and I

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Speaker 5: was like, this is it's so real, Like it's yeah,

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Speaker 5: I think it would trigger you all the triggers.

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Speaker 6: Listen.

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Speaker 7: That mentality was based off of what the societal norms

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Speaker 7: were at the time. Growing up, and as I continued

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Speaker 7: to live in my skin unapologetically slash with masks on still,

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Speaker 7: you know, I slowly found a way to feel comfortable

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Speaker 7: by peeking my head and my eyes above that mask.

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Speaker 7: And then with this podcast with my wife, there's a

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Speaker 7: new mask that I've created where it's closer to who

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Speaker 7: I am, but with entertainment still there. Because it's really

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Speaker 7: important to keep some of yourself outside, I mean, keep

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Speaker 7: some of yourself inside to where the public's not stealing

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Speaker 7: your entire soul.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like you know a lot about that,

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Speaker 2: and yeah, yeah, I felt like when going through, when

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Speaker 2: I was still publicly in the closet, like I was

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Speaker 2: out with everyone in my life, but I remember thinking

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Speaker 2: I came from the bachelor world, so it was like

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Speaker 2: very hetero and very conservative, and so when it was like,

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Speaker 2: you know, I finally felt safe to come out, I

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Speaker 2: just had this support system around me. So there wasn't

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Speaker 2: that much fear around like what the public would say

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Speaker 2: or thing, because there was like the people that mattered

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Speaker 2: that were supporting me. So I didn't know if you

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Speaker 2: had that experience when you made that decision, because you

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Speaker 2: had a lot more eyes on you and came from

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Speaker 2: a very child based programming.

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Speaker 7: When I came out, I had the support of my friends,

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Speaker 7: but I also don't keep a very large friend group,

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Speaker 7: not the support of my family to be one hundred,

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Speaker 7: and I had the support of the government, so I

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Speaker 7: felt like I was good. Like, if you have something

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Speaker 7: to say, the government says it's legal, so gives mess.

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Speaker 7: That's kind of how I felt about it. My partner

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Speaker 7: at the time was obviously very supportive and was like, Oh,

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Speaker 7: thank god, you can stop like hiding me, you know.

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Speaker 7: And then yeah, it's difficult. It's difficult to come out

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Speaker 7: without a support group. But then there comes a point

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Speaker 7: sometimes where your mental health and human being needs to

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Speaker 7: be free and you just don't give up anymore, you

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Speaker 7: know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's kind of Actually reading Seven Husbands, I was like,

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Speaker 2: it almost felt so parallel to what I was navigating

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Speaker 2: that it gave It gave me this like weird feeling

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Speaker 2: of what am I I'm living my life for other people,

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Speaker 2: worrying about the opinion of people who don't even know me,

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Speaker 2: and it was kind of that reality. So and just

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Speaker 2: thanks for sharing that. I wanted to touch on that,

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Speaker 2: just because.

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Speaker 7: I mean, thanks for understanding the strugg There are so

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Speaker 7: many people that go through that that don't have words

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Speaker 7: to attach it to, don't necessarily know what that feeling

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Speaker 7: is and needs communication and the right vocabulary to express

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Speaker 7: it and to know that they're not going through it

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Speaker 7: by themselves.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, no, it's important.

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Speaker 4: And do you feel like age played a factor in

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Speaker 4: that too, where you said you got to the point

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Speaker 4: where you're like, I just don't give up anymore.

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Speaker 3: Do you feel like age was part of that.

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Speaker 7: Age was part of it, for sure, Sickness was part

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Speaker 7: of it for sure. And honestly, the support.

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Speaker 6: Of the government.

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Speaker 7: Like, in the back of my head I knew I

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Speaker 7: was like, if this is ever legal, then I'm okay.

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Speaker 7: You know, so weird.

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Speaker 5: It's specifically referring to gay marriage being legalized.

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Speaker 7: Yes, so yeah, oh yeah, it's always legal to be gay.

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Speaker 2: I mean right everywhere. Yeah, it's scary. I've y all

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Speaker 2: talked about the story of how you two met, because

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Speaker 2: we we've hinted that it was around the year twenty fifteen.

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Speaker 5: So we met, and yeah, we did.

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Speaker 6: We met in the.

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Speaker 5: Middle of twenty fifteen, and we met at a karaoke

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Speaker 5: night in West Hollywood that Raven was hosting, and we

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Speaker 5: basically like hit it off, and she was like, great,

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Speaker 5: I'd love to see you again, but I'm moving to

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Speaker 5: New York next week, so come to my goodbye my house,

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Speaker 5: Like she was staring a house party, goodbye house party,

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Speaker 5: and I was like.

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Speaker 6: Okay, cool. It was like a total whirlwind.

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Speaker 5: And we had a solo date the Friday before her

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Speaker 5: house party, which was on a Saturday, and we hung

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Speaker 5: out like way late into the night.

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Speaker 6: We just talked and talked and talked.

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Speaker 5: We went to our house party, and then she came

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Speaker 5: back to my place on Sunday after she had recovered

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Speaker 5: from the craziness the debauchery of the house party with

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Speaker 5: me until she left to go to New York to

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Speaker 5: do the view and bought me a plane ticket to

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Speaker 5: come see her in New York And I never left

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Speaker 5: until she broke with me.

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Speaker 2: How long was that was that? So that was like

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Speaker 2: a year? Right?

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Speaker 5: That was basically a little under a year.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 4: You know, every beautiful love story goes through a breakup

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Speaker 4: and then a coming back together.

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Speaker 3: So I'm here for.

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Speaker 2: That happened to Tanya too.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, really, I mean it's sometimes like we actually

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Speaker 5: say that we're super grateful for those years because our

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Speaker 5: three or so years apart, we both grew and learned

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Speaker 5: and had new perspective on what we had found in

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Speaker 5: each other, and it was it was needed.

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Speaker 3: And so how did you ultimately get back together?

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Speaker 7: I well, during COVID, I separated from somebody that I

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Speaker 7: was talking to. I purged the house. I had four

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Speaker 7: one night, hundred junk dump trucks come to my house

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Speaker 7: and cleaned out the entire house.

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Speaker 3: Great feeling.

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Speaker 6: It was fantastic.

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Speaker 7: I think I'm the only person in the world who

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Speaker 7: loved lockdown like I thrived. And well, no, my wife

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Speaker 7: did too. And during that time I called her and

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Speaker 7: I text, called, text whatever, and I was like, you

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Speaker 7: were right, I have issues and we can be friends now.

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Speaker 7: And then she kept she stayed in my pocket as

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Speaker 7: I cleaned the house, and then, like.

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Speaker 6: She means, she kept me on FaceTime.

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Speaker 5: She'd call me at like six thirty in the morning,

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Speaker 5: and mind you, it's COVID, it's I'm you.

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Speaker 7: I got none to do.

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Speaker 3: I'm like trying to.

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Speaker 5: Sleep at least until eight, But like six thirty in

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Speaker 5: the morning, I'd see her and then I'd get, of course,

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Speaker 5: butterflies and so excited.

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Speaker 6: I'd opened the phone and then she's.

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Speaker 5: Like, Hi, oh my god, Okay, wait, where do you

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Speaker 5: think I should put this person. Where do you think

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Speaker 5: I should do this? Because she's reorganizing everything. And then

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Speaker 5: she would just put me in her pocket and proceed

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Speaker 5: to clean her house and do things. So I'd just

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Speaker 5: hear the shuffles and see a black screen and occasionally

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Speaker 5: like up her nose and it was great.

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Speaker 7: And so then she proceeded to make me a package,

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Speaker 7: a COVID package. And that was the moment I was like,

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Speaker 7: m mine.

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Speaker 5: I mean, I don't know how much time we have,

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Speaker 5: but you guys, that package I had it caused me

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Speaker 5: so much stress. I was like, this thing needs to

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Speaker 5: be perfect. I baked all of these cookies. I made

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Speaker 5: her lemon curd, I made I made her lemon curd,

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Speaker 5: I made barbecue sauce. I made a sticky, ooey, gooey buttercake,

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Speaker 5: all her favorites, deserts right, and I send it out.

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Speaker 5: I pay like it's cope. Remember how crazy the mail was? Yeah,

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Speaker 5: so shipping is already going to be expensive for something overnight.

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Speaker 5: And I also should mention that I had gone up

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Speaker 5: to Washington to my mom. I'd left LA and I

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00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:53,160
Speaker 5: sund the package it gets lost. They're like, it's going

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Speaker 5: to be three days now, everything's going to rot. I know,

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Speaker 5: interscept the package with the ups I have then to

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Speaker 5: make a whole new one.

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Speaker 6: It was blood, sweat and tears.

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Speaker 7: I got that package on Mary, I got that package.

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Speaker 7: I'm like, oh, let me just let me just lock

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Speaker 7: this down, let me get this lemon curd.

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Speaker 2: Lid.

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Speaker 4: But did it symbolize something for you? Just like the

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Speaker 4: fact that she paid attention to like your favorite things

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Speaker 4: and put so much time and effort and energy into

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Speaker 4: like making that.

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Speaker 7: Oh, the way you say it is how I should

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Speaker 7: say it right, Like that's the perfect sentthing. I should

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Speaker 7: say it just like that. However, I'm going to say

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Speaker 7: it how I'm going to say it.

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Speaker 2: That was bad.

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Speaker 7: And I wanted more of it for the rest of

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Speaker 7: my life. She knew that I liked food mud belief.

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Speaker 7: But even when we were dating back in twenty fifteen,

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Speaker 7: she used to make these like this ziletus. She used

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Speaker 7: to make these amazing prenatal vitamin bars because I wanted

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Speaker 7: to grow my hair out and grow my nails. She

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Speaker 7: was like, I know, I'm going to help you grow

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Speaker 7: your nails in hair. So she put these beautiful, amazing

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Speaker 7: tasting granola bars and with vitamins in it, and I

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Speaker 7: would eat it on the way to the view. And

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Speaker 7: so she was always an amazing chef and we really

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Speaker 7: connect on food a lot, and I was just like,

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Speaker 7: none of my other partners ever fed my belly, and

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Speaker 7: you know, the belly is the second brain.

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Speaker 5: The best thing to me though about those bars is

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Speaker 5: I was customizing them to Ravens nutritional wants at the time.

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Speaker 5: But then of course she loves to share, so we

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Speaker 5: had everyone at the view eating pre natals in granola

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Speaker 5: bars not knowing. So like I'd have these like grip

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Speaker 5: men come up to me and they're like, oh, Maranda,

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Speaker 5: that bar. So I'm like, you're gonna have better hair.

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Speaker 5: You're like, I'm just laughing to my never had. My

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Speaker 5: wife was like, you're literally eating vagina jue.

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Speaker 3: Like you're eating vagina juice.

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Speaker 2: How do you know how to do that? Like is

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Speaker 2: that something that you studied or what?

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Speaker 6: She's a little white witch. No, I did not.

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Speaker 5: I mean my study, yes, I guess I did.

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Speaker 2: Kind of.

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Speaker 5: It was called staying home from school because I had

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Speaker 5: an air quote stomach ache and watching Ricky Lake, Jenny

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Speaker 5: Jones and then Food Network until about seven thirty PM.

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Speaker 5: So that was my I went to the school Food Network. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: and I also I think that as a person who

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00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:31,240
Speaker 5: grew up with a lot of anxiety and from such

400
00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:33,520
Speaker 5: a young age, I was anxious, I couldn't I didn't

401
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:35,760
Speaker 5: have access to like drugs or alcohol at that point.

402
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:37,880
Speaker 5: I think that would have been my coping mechanism if

403
00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:41,280
Speaker 5: I was older. Maybe, I don't know, but that was

404
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:43,960
Speaker 5: a way for me to channel that energy. So being

405
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Speaker 5: and using my hands from a young age, I loved baking.

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Speaker 7: And I reaped the benefit.

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Speaker 5: And yeah, yeah, and now I just now I love

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Speaker 5: nutrition too, so I like PA too, and it's fun.

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Speaker 2: That's would you ever want to start your own brand,

410
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,240
Speaker 2: like like the bars?

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Speaker 5: It's interesting because I've actually I just sent my dad.

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Speaker 7: Oh, she makes these amazing peanut butter bark things and

413
00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:19,320
Speaker 7: these madelines because I'm Keto slashical carb and she has

414
00:20:19,359 --> 00:20:21,400
Speaker 7: to like when she makes stuff that has did not

415
00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:23,040
Speaker 7: have a whole bunch of sugar in it, otherwise I'll

416
00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:27,840
Speaker 7: get the Beaties and literally literally the best food you'll

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Speaker 7: ever put in.

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Speaker 5: But I spent my dad a care package kind of

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Speaker 5: of those things that Raven just mentioned, and he texted

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Speaker 5: me yesterday and he was like, these are so good,

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00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:39,000
Speaker 5: you could sell them. And people say that, and Raven

422
00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:40,080
Speaker 5: said that back in twenty yeh.

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Speaker 7: But I don't lie. I don't just blow smoke, you

424
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:41,800
Speaker 7: know what.

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00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:44,320
Speaker 5: But here, here's the deal.

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Speaker 6: Would I do it? I don't know when I do it.

427
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Speaker 5: When I was working as a doula, part of me

428
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Speaker 5: thought about trying to get into lactation cookies because that's

429
00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:57,120
Speaker 5: the real thing. Oh yeah, I would totally say.

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Speaker 7: Let me answer your question. Yes, with this podcast, pops

431
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:04,040
Speaker 7: all and my wife and I are in our fifties,

432
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Speaker 7: which is very soon because I'm thirty seven.

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Speaker 2: That's not very soon, Raven, don't get a stressed.

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00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:15,560
Speaker 5: Dollars twenty years, you guys can look forward to lacking

435
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:16,800
Speaker 5: I mean prena.

436
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:20,520
Speaker 7: Yeah, lactating bars, and that's the trend now people having

437
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:22,359
Speaker 7: babies at seventies, so you might as well.

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00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:24,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, but you know they do have like I don't

439
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:26,439
Speaker 4: know if you've heard of Nowhere Bakery, but she just

440
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:28,360
Speaker 4: does it out of her house and you like order

441
00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:30,600
Speaker 4: them on her Instagram and then pick them up from

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00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:32,800
Speaker 4: it's like Nowhere Bakery because I think it's like her house.

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Speaker 3: You pick them up from that's spoil.

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00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:34,920
Speaker 8: Yeah.

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00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:37,760
Speaker 7: The problem is is when she does it, I'm gonna

446
00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:39,960
Speaker 7: want to eat it. So it's like do I want

447
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:41,960
Speaker 7: to share or does she just have to make a

448
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,119
Speaker 7: bigger back so I can make sure I taste everything

449
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:46,080
Speaker 7: and on bigger batches like.

450
00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:50,080
Speaker 5: I would do that, But also like how many cookies

451
00:21:50,119 --> 00:21:53,040
Speaker 5: do I have to sell before or bars before I

452
00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:56,960
Speaker 5: start seeing a return on my work time?

453
00:21:57,280 --> 00:22:00,480
Speaker 2: This is well, see, this will be a passion project

454
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:04,720
Speaker 2: to start and then with the podcast. If you did

455
00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:07,879
Speaker 2: it while the podcast is happening, it's like free publicity.

456
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:11,119
Speaker 2: Every time you're talking about baking a new batch.

457
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:12,800
Speaker 7: Your baking would be my painting.

458
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:16,280
Speaker 2: Hey, yeah, Raven, I was gonna ask you about that.

459
00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:21,080
Speaker 7: I wasn't doing that, as I wasn't doing that, as

460
00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:24,200
Speaker 7: you don't have to talk about it.

461
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:27,800
Speaker 2: Was that something because I just wanted because Tanya's boyfriend

462
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:33,080
Speaker 2: is a lawyer, but he his passion is painting, and

463
00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:35,040
Speaker 2: I saw your TikTok about that, so I thought that

464
00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:39,120
Speaker 2: was a good connector to talk about because I imagine in

465
00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:43,280
Speaker 2: the industry and what being so young when you started,

466
00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:45,720
Speaker 2: there has to be something that is an outlet, like

467
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:48,439
Speaker 2: for Miranda, yours has been for your anxiety? It was

468
00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:51,879
Speaker 2: baking and creating nutritional foods. Is that something that you

469
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:56,000
Speaker 2: found recently or has that always been something you loved.

470
00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:58,000
Speaker 7: So I was on a show called Hang with Mister

471
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:04,520
Speaker 7: Cooper in nineteen ninety seven and I would get stressed out.

472
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:08,160
Speaker 7: I would get fever blisters, I would just wow really bad.

473
00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:11,879
Speaker 7: So my mom took me to painting schools on the

474
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:15,680
Speaker 7: weekends and I would doodle all over my script. I

475
00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:17,919
Speaker 7: would go to class. He still has one of my

476
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:22,160
Speaker 7: first pastel pieces at home. It was a clown. And

477
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:26,200
Speaker 7: from that moment on, anytime I got stressed or needed

478
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:30,000
Speaker 7: to zone out, I always drew. And when I was

479
00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:32,120
Speaker 7: doing that, so Raven I was also getting stressed out.

480
00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:35,600
Speaker 7: And I actually did pottery during that time. So when

481
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:40,240
Speaker 7: I finished doing my six month stin on Broadway and

482
00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:43,480
Speaker 7: on Sister Act, I was telling my dresser. I was like,

483
00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:46,080
Speaker 7: I am so over the industry. You couldn't pay me

484
00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:48,280
Speaker 7: a zillion dollars to do one more piece of work.

485
00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:49,439
Speaker 7: And she was like, well, what are you going to do?

486
00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:51,960
Speaker 7: Because you know what are you gonna do? And I

487
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:54,359
Speaker 7: was like, I'm I'm gonna paint I'm gonna go to school.

488
00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:56,240
Speaker 7: So I went to college and I got my AA

489
00:23:57,000 --> 00:24:00,399
Speaker 7: and then Whoopi Goldberg called me and asked me to

490
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:01,560
Speaker 7: be on the ve and I was like, oh, I

491
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:02,040
Speaker 7: guess that.

492
00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:04,639
Speaker 3: Is I'm back are.

493
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:09,879
Speaker 7: But even during that time, always painting, And now that

494
00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:12,160
Speaker 7: there's so much going on at home in the sense

495
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:16,520
Speaker 7: of starting the podcast, creating our production company, and all

496
00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:18,960
Speaker 7: the other work we're doing, I've set up the guest

497
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:21,560
Speaker 7: room as my art space, and you know, we joke

498
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:23,200
Speaker 7: about it. She's like, are we married. I'm like, yeah,

499
00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:24,520
Speaker 7: but I'm just gonna be in this art room for

500
00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:25,000
Speaker 7: a little while.

501
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:28,800
Speaker 5: I've seen her in three days. She's this morning for

502
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:30,480
Speaker 5: us to do interviews.

503
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:33,919
Speaker 7: Really it's not a full exaggeration, but it's like a

504
00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:35,800
Speaker 7: baby exaggeration, but it's not full.

505
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:37,600
Speaker 5: It's like pretty true. It's kind of close.

506
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:38,000
Speaker 1: It's like.

507
00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:43,040
Speaker 3: Two person to do. That's so nice.

508
00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:47,679
Speaker 4: What like a beautiful way to be able to express yourself.

509
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:53,000
Speaker 7: It's so funny because it is. It is so beautiful

510
00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:55,720
Speaker 7: and it's so freeing and no one can tell me

511
00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:58,000
Speaker 7: what to do, except for when my wife needs a

512
00:24:58,000 --> 00:24:59,919
Speaker 7: present for her dad, and then she tells me exactly

513
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:01,320
Speaker 7: what she wants me to like.

514
00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:07,080
Speaker 5: That's not how this commissioning no exactly an official name.

515
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:08,200
Speaker 3: For this is not how I work.

516
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,480
Speaker 7: I do not like to get told what to paint.

517
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:10,879
Speaker 2: That.

518
00:25:11,359 --> 00:25:12,879
Speaker 6: I was like, can I just have a landscape?

519
00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:16,560
Speaker 5: She comes back with like an abstract with blocks of

520
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:19,080
Speaker 5: color and like a swiggle in the center, and I

521
00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:21,680
Speaker 5: was like, what am I looking at?

522
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:23,080
Speaker 6: And she's like, you can't tell me what to do.

523
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:27,119
Speaker 7: And then she proceeds to like I want this, this, this, this,

524
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:28,720
Speaker 7: and I'm like, okay, fine, So I just.

525
00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:32,159
Speaker 5: Wanted the landscape with some golfers and I get like

526
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:34,840
Speaker 5: these like hot pink blocks of color that look like

527
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:36,720
Speaker 5: modern monochrome bubbles.

528
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:38,800
Speaker 6: I don't even know you guys remember the movie Toy.

529
00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:40,800
Speaker 7: I think it was called Toy.

530
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:43,560
Speaker 6: With Dory, the one with Robert and.

531
00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:50,479
Speaker 7: I'm sorry with Robin Williams. Yeah, like that landscape belonged

532
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:52,880
Speaker 7: in that movie. Okay, it was like modern.

533
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:54,840
Speaker 5: It wasn't a landscape, babes, it was a painting and

534
00:25:55,359 --> 00:25:58,880
Speaker 5: belong anywhere, but landscapes.

535
00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:00,360
Speaker 7: It's my happy I want.

536
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:04,879
Speaker 2: When I saw your TikTok it, it was like a variety.

537
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:07,359
Speaker 2: I was thinking, what is going on in her brain

538
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:09,480
Speaker 2: where this is what comes out onto the paper because

539
00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:12,119
Speaker 2: it's beautiful. But it wasn't like oh it all looks

540
00:26:12,119 --> 00:26:14,760
Speaker 2: the same or it's watercolor. It's like you have there's

541
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:17,480
Speaker 2: a lot going on and it's all just like amazing.

542
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:18,360
Speaker 1: Yeah.

543
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:20,080
Speaker 7: One of the pieces, one of the pieces that my

544
00:26:20,119 --> 00:26:23,320
Speaker 7: wife actually likes is hanging in Whoope's house.

545
00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:25,840
Speaker 6: Wow, God, Raven.

546
00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:29,439
Speaker 5: Every painting that Raven has made that I love and

547
00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:32,040
Speaker 5: feel some connection to, she gives away, Like she just

548
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:35,640
Speaker 5: gave a piece to Demi Levado and I was like, wait,

549
00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:38,280
Speaker 5: you're giving that to Demi? What She's like Yeah, And

550
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:39,560
Speaker 5: I was like, oh, sit in the house.

551
00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:40,920
Speaker 7: She didn't say that when it was in the house.

552
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:43,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, why don't you say anything in the house.

553
00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:46,800
Speaker 5: Because I you guys, So every time of hers that's

554
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:48,760
Speaker 5: like hanging, I have to talk about it or she's

555
00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:53,280
Speaker 5: gonna give it every day. That is beautiful.

556
00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:58,960
Speaker 2: This dynamic is so funny because so my girlfriend's a

557
00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:02,000
Speaker 2: musician too, and she's in the industry, so like this

558
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:04,919
Speaker 2: dynamic feels so familiar to me of her having her

559
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:08,240
Speaker 2: things and me having to be like, wow, let's talk

560
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:08,720
Speaker 2: about it.

561
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:12,080
Speaker 7: I need to I need what is it?

562
00:27:12,119 --> 00:27:15,560
Speaker 2: I need validation validation too.

563
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:17,720
Speaker 7: I think that's the only thing I need validation.

564
00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:18,640
Speaker 2: Ay, that's true.

565
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:22,119
Speaker 7: I don't need validation anywhere else. It's so weird, but

566
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:27,200
Speaker 7: I've been so self aware, oh, self aware, self assured self,

567
00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:31,280
Speaker 7: like I can do myself. Okay, I can do it

568
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:38,040
Speaker 7: self sufficient, deficient, thank you see dictionary that the I'm

569
00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:40,320
Speaker 7: just realizing this as we speak, that the only thing

570
00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:42,040
Speaker 7: I need validation and is my painting. I come to

571
00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:43,199
Speaker 7: you all the time like look what I did.

572
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:45,080
Speaker 6: Yes, I knew that.

573
00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:49,240
Speaker 5: I knew that, and I watch it and I also

574
00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:52,280
Speaker 5: do it with strangers, which is like Raven is never like, hey,

575
00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:55,359
Speaker 5: did you see this episode of Raven's Home, And she's

576
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:58,040
Speaker 5: like a sting I made, sir. I know, I don't

577
00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:00,399
Speaker 5: know you, but look, and especially if it's another art artist,

578
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:02,840
Speaker 5: then you get like really.

579
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:06,400
Speaker 2: Struck I do. She's just like.

580
00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:09,960
Speaker 5: She's like, oh, I'm good, and then she like runs

581
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:12,679
Speaker 5: home and has to get into her room immediately and

582
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:13,840
Speaker 5: start creating more.

583
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:14,560
Speaker 6: It's true.

584
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:17,880
Speaker 5: Yeah, you're human too.

585
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:22,199
Speaker 2: Do y'all spend like all your time together? What do

586
00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:25,280
Speaker 2: you say outside of work out of the house.

587
00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:27,439
Speaker 7: I'm gonna let her answer that.

588
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:30,720
Speaker 6: No, no, we don't.

589
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:34,680
Speaker 3: Falsetto feels like it's a yes.

590
00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:36,680
Speaker 6: We don't.

591
00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:42,080
Speaker 5: We really don't. I think that why anymore anymore, I guess.

592
00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:43,680
Speaker 5: I mean I was trying to say that Raven went

593
00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:44,880
Speaker 5: to the club the other weekend.

594
00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:47,760
Speaker 6: I did not attend. There are definitely things I got

595
00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:50,360
Speaker 6: a facial you did not attend. At the beginning of.

596
00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:53,560
Speaker 7: Our relationship, we did everything together. There was definitely a

597
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:58,640
Speaker 7: COVID slash even after COVID connection. And then as we

598
00:28:58,760 --> 00:29:03,480
Speaker 7: continue to grow individually, I think the need for up

599
00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:07,840
Speaker 7: underneath each other's armpits kind of subsided, and the fact

600
00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:11,960
Speaker 7: that we're working together fills certain voids too, So we

601
00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:15,800
Speaker 7: are now more comfortable doing things on our own when

602
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:17,640
Speaker 7: like at the beginning of the relationship is like I

603
00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:19,360
Speaker 7: gotta go to seven eleven, when you go with me,

604
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:22,680
Speaker 7: I gotta go to the bathroom, can hold me here? Like,

605
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:24,320
Speaker 7: we don't do that anymore. And now I was like,

606
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:27,520
Speaker 7: get the way, but I look so much.

607
00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:30,960
Speaker 3: No judgment over here.

608
00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:35,200
Speaker 2: No, we're both very attached.

609
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:39,080
Speaker 3: It's it's not code dependent. It's really not codependent. It's

610
00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:42,120
Speaker 3: attacked you. It's codependent. Oh, it's getting dark.

611
00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:46,440
Speaker 7: I think there's a healthy codependence, and I think that

612
00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:49,080
Speaker 7: we have like there's a healthy like I don't want

613
00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:52,280
Speaker 7: you to watch that show without me, because you.

614
00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:52,800
Speaker 2: Know what I mean.

615
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:55,160
Speaker 7: But at the same time, I need like thirty minutes

616
00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:58,120
Speaker 7: to myself right now without you, and then let me

617
00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:01,160
Speaker 7: miss you a little bit slash. You know. At the

618
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:04,000
Speaker 7: beginning of our relationship, my wife was like, you're never

619
00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:05,280
Speaker 7: going on vacation without me.

620
00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:05,760
Speaker 3: Never.

621
00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:08,440
Speaker 6: I was like, okay, I'm sorry, that's not how that happened.

622
00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:09,320
Speaker 6: That what happened.

623
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:14,239
Speaker 5: Her dream vacation would be her going alone. And I

624
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:15,880
Speaker 5: was like, I'm sorry, what and she was like, yeah,

625
00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:17,240
Speaker 5: I think it'd be really cool if you and I

626
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:20,680
Speaker 5: took separate vacations. And I was like, and I'm going

627
00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:22,760
Speaker 5: to tell you right now, I still disagree with that.

628
00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:25,959
Speaker 5: I can understand somebody saying like I want to go solo,

629
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:28,040
Speaker 5: but don't make me go on vacation solo.

630
00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:30,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, I say, where you want to.

631
00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:34,160
Speaker 7: But I was bringing that up because I had to

632
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:36,760
Speaker 7: go to Atlanta for family and she was like, go.

633
00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:39,800
Speaker 7: I was like, I'm going with that. She's like, we

634
00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:41,800
Speaker 7: got this, and I was like, okay.

635
00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:43,560
Speaker 5: That's also the thing that's so funny is When I

636
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:45,440
Speaker 5: said to her that I didn't want to go, she goes,

637
00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:48,880
Speaker 5: don't make me go alone. Don't make me And so

638
00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:53,600
Speaker 5: this is what I'm saying, and like this setting is always.

639
00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:56,360
Speaker 2: Like yeah, no, Childrel.

640
00:30:56,600 --> 00:31:01,520
Speaker 5: I have this codependent wife who walk to the bathroom

641
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:03,040
Speaker 5: with me and sit there and want no I'm the

642
00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:06,440
Speaker 5: bathroom and in our real life, I'm like, I'm going

643
00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:07,120
Speaker 5: to go to the market.

644
00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:08,200
Speaker 2: She's like, do you need me to come?

645
00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:10,640
Speaker 5: Writing non finding.

646
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:14,080
Speaker 2: Raven, when is your birthday?

647
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:15,880
Speaker 6: I'm a Sagittarius.

648
00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:19,480
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm seeing so many similars. Yeah, I feel like

649
00:31:19,480 --> 00:31:22,240
Speaker 2: you're like seeing your eye. I'm like dying laughing because

650
00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:27,000
Speaker 2: you are literally Haleyan like I am. And it's the

651
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:29,400
Speaker 2: there is something about is it? Hailey aries though?

652
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:30,360
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah yeah.

653
00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:33,440
Speaker 2: But so when we went to we just went on

654
00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:35,479
Speaker 2: a vacation together and she just got off tour and

655
00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:37,360
Speaker 2: she was like, I just need to decompress. And I

656
00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:39,520
Speaker 2: was like, if you need to go alone, like I

657
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:41,400
Speaker 2: totally understand, even if you need to go for a

658
00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:44,680
Speaker 2: few days and just like decompressed by yourself. And she

659
00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:47,160
Speaker 2: was like, you don't want to go, And I was like, well,

660
00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:48,680
Speaker 2: you kind of made it seem like that was what

661
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:50,400
Speaker 2: you really needed. So I was just giving you that

662
00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:52,160
Speaker 2: space if you needed it, and she was like, no,

663
00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:53,720
Speaker 2: I want to go with you. And it was like

664
00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:56,880
Speaker 2: this whole thing of her acting like too cool, nonchalant,

665
00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:58,800
Speaker 2: I can go by myself. I need a loone time.

666
00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:00,360
Speaker 2: But then when I offered it, you.

667
00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:02,960
Speaker 4: Also being like, oh, you need to go decompressed, like

668
00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:04,320
Speaker 4: you were playing a game too.

669
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:05,040
Speaker 2: I know you.

670
00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:08,960
Speaker 5: I heard I agree with you.

671
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:13,040
Speaker 2: That he came back. Yes, we all we went together

672
00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:17,880
Speaker 2: the whole trip and it was great. I know you'm

673
00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:21,760
Speaker 2: a scorpio. Yeah.

674
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:28,200
Speaker 5: I mean, look, I will say I have had relationship trauma,

675
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:31,520
Speaker 5: as probably most of us had, and that's where Raven

676
00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:34,760
Speaker 5: is a much more what's it called, like I have

677
00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:40,000
Speaker 5: insecure attachment, she has an avoidant attachment. So as an

678
00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:44,320
Speaker 5: insecure attached person, in the early days of our relationship, I.

679
00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:48,440
Speaker 6: Was very scared. It is actually fear based. It was

680
00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:49,959
Speaker 6: fear motivated.

681
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:52,040
Speaker 5: It's not like I wanted to go everywhere she was

682
00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:53,760
Speaker 5: going with her all the time. It was that my

683
00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:56,000
Speaker 5: brain was telling me that if I didn't, something bad

684
00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:58,640
Speaker 5: would happen, and who knew what that would be.

685
00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:04,480
Speaker 4: Go ahead, you reverse that because because I'm also insecurely attached.

686
00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:07,520
Speaker 3: Did you find like a turning point or like when

687
00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:08,400
Speaker 3: did that flip for you?

688
00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:12,840
Speaker 5: Well, I have to say a lot of it is

689
00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:16,680
Speaker 5: my partner, like what Raven did for me, which I

690
00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:19,640
Speaker 5: never had, And I believe my insecure attachment started in

691
00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:23,360
Speaker 5: my childhood home. I never got to learn the lesson that,

692
00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:25,600
Speaker 5: like the baby bird can leave the nest and come

693
00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:28,000
Speaker 5: back to the nest and everything is still there and

694
00:33:28,040 --> 00:33:31,400
Speaker 5: safe and secure. I didn't feel that way. So in

695
00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:36,840
Speaker 5: the first two years of our marriage, really Raven took

696
00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:40,840
Speaker 5: a lot of time and patience to let.

697
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:42,240
Speaker 6: Me know that I was safe here.

698
00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:47,680
Speaker 5: And because I also recognized that quickly, I understood that

699
00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:50,600
Speaker 5: I had to do my work too. So if Raven's

700
00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:52,680
Speaker 5: going to like say, hey, you're safe, and how I'm

701
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:55,440
Speaker 5: showing you you're safe is I'm telling you where I

702
00:33:55,480 --> 00:33:57,880
Speaker 5: am when I go there, I'm texting you when I say.

703
00:33:57,960 --> 00:34:01,760
Speaker 5: She was being consistent and reliable and she was doing

704
00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:05,800
Speaker 5: what she said, which then gave me confidence in our

705
00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:09,240
Speaker 5: relationship and trust to where I could then go, Okay,

706
00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:12,560
Speaker 5: I'm going to go out here by myself and do this,

707
00:34:12,680 --> 00:34:14,560
Speaker 5: or she's good, I'm going to say, you go there,

708
00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:16,799
Speaker 5: and I'll stay here, and I'm going to trust that

709
00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:19,120
Speaker 5: even if I don't hear from her that everything's fine.

710
00:34:19,239 --> 00:34:21,040
Speaker 6: And I worked on myself, and I.

711
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:25,640
Speaker 5: Also knew that the things that were motivating my inscure

712
00:34:25,680 --> 00:34:27,919
Speaker 5: attachment were not healthy and I didn't want to feel

713
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:30,920
Speaker 5: that way because I feel so victim to those thoughts

714
00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:33,799
Speaker 5: and I don't like that. I didn't like that. So

715
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:37,839
Speaker 5: it was really just working on myself, but also having

716
00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:40,920
Speaker 5: a partner who understood it and was willing to not

717
00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:44,560
Speaker 5: personalize it. That's where I think couples end up like

718
00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:47,040
Speaker 5: fighting over these things, and it's really hard when it's

719
00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:50,160
Speaker 5: not like something you're trying to do. Yeah, you're a

720
00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:55,000
Speaker 5: product of this scenario that kind of turned you into that.

721
00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:59,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's it's such a it has to

722
00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:01,440
Speaker 2: be a healthy balance of your partner meeting you and

723
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:04,200
Speaker 2: also you being able, like I've had to work on

724
00:35:04,280 --> 00:35:07,319
Speaker 2: my own things like can't rely on Haley to fix

725
00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:10,520
Speaker 2: certain things that she didn't that aren't about even her,

726
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:14,520
Speaker 2: you know exactly. So I think it's like giving both

727
00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:16,120
Speaker 2: of you credit for being able to get over that,

728
00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:17,800
Speaker 2: cause it's it's not easy.

729
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:21,399
Speaker 5: It's not easy at all. It's not easy at all,

730
00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:24,960
Speaker 5: and I think just being able to say that and

731
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:27,160
Speaker 5: recognize that we both have it right.

732
00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:27,839
Speaker 6: So it's like.

733
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:30,239
Speaker 5: Mine shows up as an insecure attachment. Her shows up

734
00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:32,560
Speaker 5: as an avoidant. She is having to do work and

735
00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:36,359
Speaker 5: feel certain levels of security within me that to come

736
00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:37,279
Speaker 5: have a conversation.

737
00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:39,160
Speaker 6: Like, that's a trust thing right there.

738
00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:44,239
Speaker 5: So the exhibiting of the behavior is different, but it's

739
00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:45,640
Speaker 5: still rooted in the same thing.

740
00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:46,360
Speaker 3: Yeah.

741
00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:49,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a really good point before we let y'all go,

742
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:53,840
Speaker 2: because I know y'all have a busy day. We this podcast,

743
00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:56,840
Speaker 2: Scrubbing In was kind of based off of our love

744
00:35:56,960 --> 00:36:00,840
Speaker 2: for Gray's Anatomy and I know that you got married

745
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:06,080
Speaker 2: in a private ceremony on Debbie Allen's in her backyard.

746
00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:09,440
Speaker 2: Is that right, front yard? Her front yard? Oh, it's nice.

747
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:11,120
Speaker 2: She has a big enough front yard.

748
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:13,120
Speaker 6: To have one girls.

749
00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:13,920
Speaker 3: She deserves it.

750
00:36:16,239 --> 00:36:19,040
Speaker 2: I just thought that was like a really fun little connector.

751
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:21,879
Speaker 3: A little pin in the little bow on top.

752
00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:24,440
Speaker 7: Debbie Allen is one of the most amazing women that

753
00:36:24,480 --> 00:36:28,640
Speaker 7: we have in our family tree that we've collected together.

754
00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:31,920
Speaker 7: She has taken care of me so many years and

755
00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:35,520
Speaker 7: she I told her just nonchalantly. I was like, yeah,

756
00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:38,520
Speaker 7: I'm gonna get married. She's like, where I'm coming.

757
00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:39,880
Speaker 6: I was like, no, no, nowhere.

758
00:36:39,880 --> 00:36:41,920
Speaker 7: We're probably just gonna go, you know, to the court house.

759
00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:43,680
Speaker 7: She was like, no, You're having it in the front yard.

760
00:36:43,760 --> 00:36:46,799
Speaker 7: She made these my favorite food when I go over

761
00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:52,040
Speaker 7: to her, which are coconut fried oysters, oysters, and she

762
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:53,480
Speaker 7: had lobster.

763
00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:57,240
Speaker 5: She did mac and cheese, lobster mac and cheese pin

764
00:36:57,800 --> 00:37:00,719
Speaker 5: and she got us a cake and awer. We got

765
00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:04,360
Speaker 5: very twenty twenty, so it was still really it.

766
00:37:04,239 --> 00:37:08,240
Speaker 7: Was her, her husband, our efficient, two of my friends,

767
00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:11,720
Speaker 7: two of Miranda's friends, and that's it so well special

768
00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:14,120
Speaker 7: for amazing, and she let us use her crown, her

769
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:18,680
Speaker 7: king and Queen chairs, and she's forever in our hearts.

770
00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:25,400
Speaker 2: Mom, Mom, I love that too. Where can everyone follow you? Guys?

771
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:29,359
Speaker 2: I know the podcast The Best Podcast Ever is out now? Yes,

772
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:33,520
Speaker 2: And where can everyone listen and follow you?

773
00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:36,520
Speaker 5: You can listen wherever you like listening to your podcasts.

774
00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:40,200
Speaker 5: We are on Instagram at the Best pod Ever.

775
00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:43,680
Speaker 7: And mine is Raymond Simone and hers is Miranda may

776
00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:46,520
Speaker 7: Day on TikTok and Instagram.

777
00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:51,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, easy way to lock thank you so much. I

778
00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:53,680
Speaker 2: know you'll have a busy day and I can't wait

779
00:37:53,719 --> 00:37:55,560
Speaker 2: to hear the podcast and congratulations.

780
00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:57,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, congrat you guys.

781
00:37:57,560 --> 00:37:59,120
Speaker 5: Hope we out in the world.

782
00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:22,680
Speaker 2: Yes you soon, I'm sure, all right, everybody, that's it

783
00:38:22,719 --> 00:38:24,000
Speaker 2: for today. But before we.

784
00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:26,759
Speaker 4: Go, yes, we would be it would be illegal for

785
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:27,840
Speaker 4: us to have a podcast.

786
00:38:28,520 --> 00:38:31,520
Speaker 2: We would be arrested on site, on site if we

787
00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:32,560
Speaker 2: didn't do this in.

788
00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:33,000
Speaker 1: The o R.

789
00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:44,480
Speaker 2: Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday,

790
00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:45,279
Speaker 2: dear Ma.

791
00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:54,400
Speaker 8: Happy, Thank you so much, thank you. I want to

792
00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:56,920
Speaker 8: thank everybody. You know what an honorative to be part

793
00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:59,560
Speaker 8: of this show every week and to be part of

794
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:01,960
Speaker 8: the SCU Big Nation because the scrubbers have been so

795
00:39:02,080 --> 00:39:05,760
Speaker 8: incredibly nice and generous to me over the past six years.

796
00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:08,120
Speaker 2: It's been a long time, almost six years.

797
00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:09,520
Speaker 8: So thank you for letting me be a part of.

798
00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:13,239
Speaker 2: This scrub Nations. Yes, scrub scrub Nation, rise up all

799
00:39:13,280 --> 00:39:13,480
Speaker 2: of it.

800
00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:13,920
Speaker 1: Yeah.

801
00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:14,680
Speaker 8: Really.

802
00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:16,280
Speaker 2: I won't.

803
00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:20,520
Speaker 3: Any big birthday plans.

804
00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:24,240
Speaker 8: No, I've asked my wife to make me the special

805
00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:26,640
Speaker 8: sandwich that she makes, but the panini that I love

806
00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:29,240
Speaker 8: so much, my favorite sandwich in the world.

807
00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:32,160
Speaker 2: What's on this that is the only request.

808
00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:37,480
Speaker 8: This crunchy panini bread, not too crunchy, like dry crunchy.

809
00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:40,640
Speaker 8: It's like this perfect panini bread. It's got like you know,

810
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:43,319
Speaker 8: cold caughts, like some chicken and some turkey in there,

811
00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:45,879
Speaker 8: and then she puts like tomato, and then the bread

812
00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:48,759
Speaker 8: is jlopenos in it, and then the cheese on it.

813
00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:51,040
Speaker 8: It's just heaven. It is absolute heaven. Is the best

814
00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:51,759
Speaker 8: sandwich I've ever had.

815
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:53,719
Speaker 3: Money sandwiches were until I just had one.

816
00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:56,279
Speaker 8: You showed me one. That may be really jealous, but yeah,

817
00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:58,160
Speaker 8: that's what I've asked for for my birthday. But it's busy,

818
00:39:58,160 --> 00:40:00,840
Speaker 8: you know, it's a busy time. My daughter's going to

819
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:05,080
Speaker 8: UCLA this weekend for three weeks. She got into this

820
00:40:05,120 --> 00:40:08,960
Speaker 8: special musical theater program that they're doing there. Uh the

821
00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:11,160
Speaker 8: other Dan, the other one that my youngest daughter is

822
00:40:11,239 --> 00:40:13,480
Speaker 8: dancing all day every day this week she's had a thing.

823
00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:14,719
Speaker 8: So I don't think it's gonna be a lot of

824
00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:16,680
Speaker 8: stuff going on. Maybe this weekend will get out, but

825
00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:17,799
Speaker 8: it's a busy time.

826
00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:21,919
Speaker 3: So you're getting a sandwich if I'm.

827
00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:24,520
Speaker 2: Lucky, Yeah, a four half.

828
00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:25,719
Speaker 8: I'm hoping for maybe two.

829
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:29,359
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you do it. And

830
00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:30,120
Speaker 2: the pie.

831
00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:32,879
Speaker 8: I do love pie. Tony and I have gone back

832
00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:34,080
Speaker 8: and forth on this for years.

833
00:40:34,160 --> 00:40:35,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's your favorite pie?

834
00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:38,640
Speaker 3: Because it doesn't really how to discriminate to who.

835
00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:39,239
Speaker 8: Do you like?

836
00:40:39,320 --> 00:40:40,080
Speaker 2: Chocolate or fruit?

837
00:40:40,239 --> 00:40:40,359
Speaker 1: No?

838
00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:41,600
Speaker 8: Fruit? If I had to pick one, to be a

839
00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:45,440
Speaker 8: cherry pie, that's my favorite, but I like all fruit pies.

840
00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:48,440
Speaker 2: You know what would be really good is a chocolate

841
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:49,240
Speaker 2: cherry pie.

842
00:40:49,280 --> 00:40:51,480
Speaker 8: That would be good. And by that's changed too. I'm

843
00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:53,359
Speaker 8: way more into chocolate pie than I used to be.

844
00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:55,120
Speaker 2: Chocolate pie is deliciously.

845
00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:56,840
Speaker 3: I remember last year or was it last year, I

846
00:40:56,880 --> 00:40:58,400
Speaker 3: found like this place that does like.

847
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:01,919
Speaker 8: Yeah, that was Yeah, that was great.

848
00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:04,040
Speaker 2: An assortment pie.

849
00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:04,879
Speaker 3: You can have all these.

850
00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:12,160
Speaker 8: Cherry That was a blueberry pie. Yam delicious banana cream pipe.

851
00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:14,920
Speaker 2: Oh yeah. Do you like the McDonald's pies?

852
00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:18,520
Speaker 8: Yeah? Those are great, delicious, surprisingly.

853
00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:20,000
Speaker 3: Delicious pie apple.

854
00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:23,200
Speaker 8: They're always so incredibly hot that you just get angry.

855
00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:25,160
Speaker 2: Yeah you can't. It's like a hot pocket.

856
00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:29,080
Speaker 8: Yeah you got bite off the end of but it's great. Yeah,

857
00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:29,840
Speaker 8: those are delicious.

858
00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:33,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, the real ones. No, Happy Mark, Happy marke Day

859
00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:48,440
Speaker 3: Birthday