WEBVTT - "May The Best Roaster Win" with Zack Fox 0:00:02.600 --> 0:00:05.120 A spum. Going through a vagina is like trying to 0:00:05.120 --> 0:00:09.080 walk through a hookah bar in Atlanta, Like you really 0:00:09.200 --> 0:00:13.640 might not between the smoke and dad bitches and niggas 0:00:13.640 --> 0:00:16.000 were guns and like maybe a hoverboard that might be 0:00:16.040 --> 0:00:21.520 boost on the ground, Like something's gonna happen. Hey, you've 0:00:21.520 --> 0:00:24.360 got a lot of obstacles to get through the floor's lava, 0:00:24.440 --> 0:00:27.240 and you gotta get the funk through this hookah bar 0:00:27.720 --> 0:00:31.240 and essentially become the greatest leader to ever leave if 0:00:31.280 --> 0:00:40.319 you can make it to the end. Chips in your 0:00:43.840 --> 0:00:59.880 racists money stuff, I can't tell me. Yeah, welcome late, 0:01:00.040 --> 0:01:04.720 he's in gentlemen to an exceptional, a devastating, a thick 0:01:04.760 --> 0:01:09.080 booty episode of My Mama Told Me the podcast where 0:01:09.080 --> 0:01:14.080 we died deep, deep into the crevices of black conspiracy theories, 0:01:14.120 --> 0:01:17.399 and we worked to prove that Alicia Keys may not 0:01:17.520 --> 0:01:20.959 wear makeup on her face, but she absolutely puts makeup 0:01:21.120 --> 0:01:24.520 on her feet. She gotta only fans and she's posting 0:01:24.600 --> 0:01:28.880 feet picks with makeup on them. Tell the people, Alicia, 0:01:28.959 --> 0:01:31.720 we know it's you. Stop pretending like this is some 0:01:31.800 --> 0:01:34.760 other lady. That's you, Alicia. You put makeup on your 0:01:34.800 --> 0:01:38.440 feet and we know it. I'm your host, Lankston Kerman. 0:01:38.520 --> 0:01:42.000 As always, I'm excited to be here. What an exciting 0:01:42.120 --> 0:01:45.720 time we have, mainly because my guest today is one 0:01:45.760 --> 0:01:48.040 of the funniest people I know. If he's so funny, 0:01:48.280 --> 0:01:51.160 he's responsible for a pretty much every cool trend that's 0:01:51.160 --> 0:01:53.560 ever existed on the Internet. He was so funny at 0:01:53.600 --> 0:01:57.160 one point that Twitter asked him politely to leave. They 0:01:57.160 --> 0:01:59.120 were like, this, nigga's too funny. He gotta get the 0:01:59.120 --> 0:02:01.080 funk out of here. But then they let him back 0:02:01.120 --> 0:02:03.760 in and he's still being hilarious. You guys know him, 0:02:03.800 --> 0:02:05.680 you love him. Give it up for my guest, Mr 0:02:05.880 --> 0:02:10.600 Zach five. Hello, Hello, what's up? Yeah? What I've done? 0:02:10.840 --> 0:02:13.680 I'm killing man. I'm over here in Atlanta, Man, just 0:02:13.800 --> 0:02:18.519 like drinking juices and the rain, like bird scooter and around. 0:02:21.120 --> 0:02:24.520 This is exciting just listening things you could have done 0:02:24.560 --> 0:02:26.760 in l A, but you're like, no, I'm doing in Atlanta. 0:02:26.800 --> 0:02:30.760 I'm doing it in Atlanta. Yea. So now, what are 0:02:30.800 --> 0:02:33.880 there like special juices in Atlanta that you're like, it's 0:02:34.000 --> 0:02:36.760 happy to have, you know, gone back and be able 0:02:36.760 --> 0:02:39.440 to experience again. Is there anything? Yeah, there's a spec. 0:02:39.760 --> 0:02:42.280 There's a juice shop out here called Kill Me Crazy, 0:02:42.400 --> 0:02:46.799 which is awful, terrible name, but um, the girls who 0:02:46.840 --> 0:02:49.720 worked at the one by Me are like you could 0:02:49.760 --> 0:02:53.040 just tell they're like they're just so over it, like 0:02:53.440 --> 0:02:58.960 to just like really cool, just Atlanta chicks. You're like, 0:02:59.480 --> 0:03:01.720 they're like Nigga, which you want and your juice? Like 0:03:01.880 --> 0:03:09.440 don't like tumeric? Okay, what next? Like okay stirrelina, Like 0:03:09.760 --> 0:03:13.760 they make it with such attitude that it's a better 0:03:13.840 --> 0:03:18.120 juice experience. I feel like I feel like I agree. 0:03:18.200 --> 0:03:21.520 You know, there's nothing there's something about someone being mean 0:03:21.600 --> 0:03:24.400 to you when you order something that makes you feel like, well, 0:03:24.440 --> 0:03:27.560 this is gonna be worth it is because it's like, 0:03:27.600 --> 0:03:30.560 well I better enjoy this because they don't give a 0:03:30.600 --> 0:03:33.720 fun right, they don't give a funk. This felt like 0:03:33.720 --> 0:03:37.280 a fistfight just ordering a basic item. So this is 0:03:37.320 --> 0:03:40.680 probably gonna be the best experience that I have eating. Yeah, 0:03:40.680 --> 0:03:46.360 I feel like there is a a paralyzing aspect of hospitality. 0:03:46.800 --> 0:03:49.600 You like, sometimes when things are too nice, you don't 0:03:49.680 --> 0:03:53.200 really uh feel grateful for it, you know what I mean? 0:03:53.240 --> 0:03:55.280 Like you you should be able to you should have 0:03:55.320 --> 0:04:00.320 to struggle for nice things sometimes right, it's a hunter 0:04:00.440 --> 0:04:02.839 gatherers ship in us, you know what I mean? Like 0:04:03.200 --> 0:04:05.880 we used to have to really murder something to enjoy 0:04:05.920 --> 0:04:08.920 a meal, and now we it's just sort of laid 0:04:08.920 --> 0:04:11.200 in front of us, and it feels like we always 0:04:11.280 --> 0:04:14.760 deserve this. But those small moments kind of bring us 0:04:14.800 --> 0:04:18.240 back to that animalistic energy where it's like, Damn, I 0:04:18.240 --> 0:04:20.440 had to I had to get cussed the funk out 0:04:20.520 --> 0:04:24.320 so that I can enjoy some kill drinks. Gonn, this 0:04:24.440 --> 0:04:27.400 matters to me. That's why I'm open a vegan restaurant. 0:04:28.040 --> 0:04:30.640 Uh where you know you gotta get jumped just to 0:04:30.680 --> 0:04:36.600 finish your meal. Wait, they don't. So you're saying they 0:04:36.600 --> 0:04:39.640 don't jump you to get the meal. It's just at 0:04:39.720 --> 0:04:42.520 some point in the mill, at some point you're gonna 0:04:42.520 --> 0:04:46.160 have to protect You're gonna have to protect yours and 0:04:46.200 --> 0:04:50.520 if you're not ready for that, then maybe you shouldn't 0:04:50.560 --> 0:04:52.960 be trying to. Maybe you just need to go up 0:04:53.000 --> 0:04:56.440 to McDonald's and like experience the easy fast food. But 0:04:56.480 --> 0:05:00.119 this helps, You're gonna have to earn it around here, boy, 0:05:02.000 --> 0:05:04.719 you better go back and get your radiated burger mode. 0:05:05.800 --> 0:05:10.720 Want this here, you want beyond me. You're gonna have 0:05:10.760 --> 0:05:15.160 to get this beyond me. You can stop. You're getting 0:05:15.200 --> 0:05:18.960 hands dog. I love that. I love that so much. 0:05:19.000 --> 0:05:20.880 And if there's anything I can do to help fund 0:05:20.920 --> 0:05:25.240 your restaurant without getting jumped, I'd happily do that. I 0:05:25.279 --> 0:05:29.560 do need money. Yes, well, I think this episode is 0:05:29.560 --> 0:05:31.760 not going to help us get any money today. I 0:05:31.800 --> 0:05:35.040 think that this episode actually has the potential to make 0:05:35.120 --> 0:05:37.320 us lose quite a bit of money if we if 0:05:37.360 --> 0:05:39.720 we're being honest, because you came to me with a 0:05:39.800 --> 0:05:42.680 conspiracy theory that terrifies the ship out of me. But 0:05:42.800 --> 0:05:45.159 you said, and I want to quote you here, you said, 0:05:45.279 --> 0:05:50.600 my mama told me white people were invented by an 0:05:50.640 --> 0:06:00.400 ancient black scientist. Yes, who yea, just that thing can 0:06:00.800 --> 0:06:03.760 tell me more. It's probably the most dangerous subject matter 0:06:03.839 --> 0:06:07.839 that we could decide to drive into. But it's also 0:06:07.960 --> 0:06:12.520 the funniest and the most uh the most right to 0:06:12.600 --> 0:06:16.719 be like a manga better than novelto I feel like, yes, 0:06:17.080 --> 0:06:20.559 oh my god, yes, Because even when I told Nikki 0:06:20.600 --> 0:06:22.920 about it, right, I told my wife, like, yo, this 0:06:23.000 --> 0:06:26.560 is the the conspiracy theory that that Zach was talking about. 0:06:26.640 --> 0:06:28.480 She was like, that should be a show, and I 0:06:28.560 --> 0:06:31.120 was like, nah, it can't be no show. But also, 0:06:31.200 --> 0:06:34.039 you're right, it should be a show. It's one of 0:06:34.040 --> 0:06:37.640 those things that it literally cannot be a show just 0:06:37.680 --> 0:06:42.000 because it's so like both sides, white and black would 0:06:42.040 --> 0:06:45.560 be so upset by it, because there are people who 0:06:45.600 --> 0:06:48.680 genuinely believe it, and there are people who are genuinely like, 0:06:49.880 --> 0:06:52.159 this is crazy. This is the most offensive thing I've 0:06:52.160 --> 0:06:56.400 ever experienced. But if it was an anime, it would 0:06:56.400 --> 0:06:58.640 just be like if it was even just a live 0:06:58.640 --> 0:07:04.960 action movie, it probably sell Lord of the Rings. I 0:07:04.720 --> 0:07:08.040 don't I don't disagree with that. I think that this 0:07:08.120 --> 0:07:10.320 has the potential to be one of the greatest box 0:07:10.360 --> 0:07:13.360 office hits of all time if only people could put 0:07:13.400 --> 0:07:16.000 their pride side and just except that maybe a black 0:07:16.040 --> 0:07:19.960 scientist inventing white people is a fascinating fucking story. It's 0:07:20.000 --> 0:07:22.680 fascinating if we could get rid of the hate behind 0:07:22.720 --> 0:07:27.480 it and behind all those things, all those nasty things 0:07:27.520 --> 0:07:31.679 that everybody talks about on a daily basis, and uh, 0:07:31.960 --> 0:07:33.480 if we can just look past that and look at 0:07:33.520 --> 0:07:36.840 how funny and great the story is and how like 0:07:37.040 --> 0:07:41.400 chock full of science fiction gold it is, then it 0:07:41.440 --> 0:07:43.280 would be so good. It would be good. It'd be good. 0:07:43.640 --> 0:07:46.440 It's a perfect story. So tell me. Let's let's start 0:07:46.440 --> 0:07:51.160 from the beginning. Where where did you first hear this theory, 0:07:51.600 --> 0:07:55.560 this suggestion. So contrary to the title of your podcast, 0:07:55.640 --> 0:07:57.800 my mom didn't tell me this. My mom is a 0:07:58.000 --> 0:08:03.440 very staunch Southern Baptist Christian woman who would never believe 0:08:03.480 --> 0:08:12.600 in something as crazy as a guy. Uh, this wasn't 0:08:12.880 --> 0:08:15.840 This wasn't popping up in church when y'all were going 0:08:15.920 --> 0:08:19.480 as kids. I mean, you know, Christians, we got our own. 0:08:19.960 --> 0:08:21.680 You know, I'm not a Christian, but girl, I grew 0:08:21.720 --> 0:08:23.600 up in the church. So I say our because it's 0:08:23.640 --> 0:08:26.320 like I was shooting in the jim. But you know, 0:08:26.400 --> 0:08:29.560 we have our we have our own, like weird. Everybody 0:08:29.600 --> 0:08:32.079 knows we have our own. Were we drink blood and 0:08:32.080 --> 0:08:35.760 it's great, Like that's weird. But yeah, a man claimed 0:08:35.800 --> 0:08:38.120 that God told him to, you know, stab his son 0:08:38.200 --> 0:08:40.320 in the middle of the desert when he was like 0:08:40.760 --> 0:08:43.400 and then he was like he was really gonna do that, right? 0:08:44.800 --> 0:08:49.520 Weird how we supposed of all going together now he 0:08:49.640 --> 0:08:54.520 was acting like that. Weird. But yeah, I first heard 0:08:54.559 --> 0:08:58.200 this theory from when I was super little, like maybe 0:08:58.240 --> 0:09:00.800 five or six. My mom used to let me just 0:09:00.880 --> 0:09:02.680 kind of like hang out in our neighborhood. In our 0:09:02.679 --> 0:09:07.400 neighborhood was like super rundown, but like very multicultural, and 0:09:07.440 --> 0:09:10.360 it was just like poor working class white, black and 0:09:10.440 --> 0:09:13.600 Latino people in Savannah. And I used to hang out 0:09:14.160 --> 0:09:16.640 with these group of dudes who would just hang out 0:09:16.640 --> 0:09:20.400 and like drink natty light and uh and smoke bad 0:09:20.480 --> 0:09:24.320 cigarettes and eat sunflower seeds all day. And one's name 0:09:24.400 --> 0:09:29.600 was Bobby and he looked like Charles Manson. And the 0:09:29.800 --> 0:09:32.200 another dude's name, I should you not. His name on 0:09:32.240 --> 0:09:35.200 the street was Biscuit, and he was this dirty blond, 0:09:35.240 --> 0:09:38.120 white dude with ipat who wore a black wife beater 0:09:38.360 --> 0:09:41.920 and jeans shorts every day us. And well, first of all, 0:09:42.160 --> 0:09:44.240 let me just say how happy I am that Biscuit 0:09:44.880 --> 0:09:47.319 was a white dude with an ipatch and not what 0:09:47.800 --> 0:09:51.840 I immediately presumed, which was a big as black man's comforting. 0:09:51.960 --> 0:09:56.400 Yeah he was, Yeah, he was switching up everything. Um, 0:09:56.440 --> 0:09:59.600 this guy outsold everybody. So uh. They hung out with 0:09:59.640 --> 0:10:02.720 this black do in the neighborhood named Joe and Joe 0:10:02.880 --> 0:10:05.720 one day, like they would sit and talk about conspiracy stuff. 0:10:05.760 --> 0:10:07.840 And I was a kid like, I didn't know what 0:10:07.880 --> 0:10:09.280 they were talking about, but I would just kind of 0:10:09.320 --> 0:10:12.360 sit around and listen, and you know, one day Bobby 0:10:12.480 --> 0:10:14.880 was like, oh, well, you know, in the year twelve, 0:10:15.440 --> 0:10:18.320 the magnetic poles of the Earth they're gonna switch and 0:10:18.320 --> 0:10:21.920 it's gonna cause the apocalypse. And then Biscuit was like, oh, well, 0:10:22.040 --> 0:10:24.680 didn't y'all know that the Illuminati do this? And da 0:10:24.760 --> 0:10:27.280 da da. So Joe had to come with his you know, 0:10:27.559 --> 0:10:30.080 he had to come with some heat. And he was like, well, 0:10:30.120 --> 0:10:32.400 both of y'all shut up because did y'all know that 0:10:32.440 --> 0:10:34.280 we and then the y'all and it was like a 0:10:34.360 --> 0:10:36.640 bomb went off the side of my head. I was like, Joe, 0:10:37.400 --> 0:10:42.800 what Joe? Joe. Joe didn't really say nothing crazy like 0:10:42.840 --> 0:10:45.080 that on a regular basis. He would just kind of like, 0:10:45.280 --> 0:10:48.719 you know, spit some flower seeds and you know. But 0:10:48.800 --> 0:10:50.800 he came with some heat. So I was like what 0:10:50.880 --> 0:10:52.320 And they were like, what are you talking about? And 0:10:52.600 --> 0:10:58.839 he introduces the story of Yakubu, which was a nation 0:10:58.880 --> 0:11:03.360 of Islam. It's nation an islam source material um written 0:11:03.360 --> 0:11:07.439 by uh It was it was expanded on by Elijah Mohammed, 0:11:08.040 --> 0:11:13.160 but hoble Um and yeah, you just proceeded to tell 0:11:13.200 --> 0:11:16.520 them like a very a shortened bridge drunk country Nigga 0:11:16.600 --> 0:11:20.280 version of that story. And uh, I was kind of 0:11:20.280 --> 0:11:24.760 like changed forever. Mow. You said Joe was a quiet guy. 0:11:24.800 --> 0:11:26.880 I love that that. Joe was just sort of sitting 0:11:26.920 --> 0:11:30.800 back letting these guys talk amongst themselves every day because 0:11:30.800 --> 0:11:35.200 secretly he knew, Man I invented y'all, y'all ain't even real. 0:11:35.480 --> 0:11:38.720 You're you're subset of some ship that I already am. 0:11:39.120 --> 0:11:42.240 So go ahead, talk, you're crazy talk exactly to even 0:11:42.280 --> 0:11:46.720 sit there and watch them spit their conspiracy theories. I 0:11:46.760 --> 0:11:48.880 saw him just he had this look in his eyelight, 0:11:50.040 --> 0:11:52.720 you're stupid motherfucker's I'm about to hit y'all with some 0:11:52.760 --> 0:11:57.240 crazy ship. Oh you think twelve is a thing? Get 0:11:57.240 --> 0:12:04.160 the fun out? Yeah, okay, okay, alright, biscuit, okay, aluminaity, 0:12:04.360 --> 0:12:06.880 we get now. I got some ship for you. You 0:12:06.960 --> 0:12:10.760 ain't a real human, biscuit bits, you are the second 0:12:10.920 --> 0:12:14.440 draft of humans. But then, like you know, the strange 0:12:14.440 --> 0:12:20.600 effect of it was watching them called his theory crazy 0:12:20.720 --> 0:12:23.600 when you know we're all out that they were all 0:12:23.600 --> 0:12:25.920 out there saying wild stuff. You know what I mean, 0:12:25.960 --> 0:12:29.880 like from assassination theories too. You know, this was shortly 0:12:29.920 --> 0:12:32.840 after tupacs, so they were coming with two pop theories 0:12:32.840 --> 0:12:35.400 and stuff, and you know the fact that this guy 0:12:35.520 --> 0:12:40.000 was like white people were invented by ancient scientists with 0:12:40.080 --> 0:12:43.880 a giant head. They were like, well, that's just silly. 0:12:44.920 --> 0:12:47.920 Now you're being ridiculous. And I was on Joe side 0:12:47.960 --> 0:12:50.679 when I was like, well why not. Okay, okay, now 0:12:50.720 --> 0:12:53.920 you're getting into something fascinating because you're saying that. When 0:12:54.000 --> 0:12:57.040 Joe said this, you know, Biscuit and Uh and the 0:12:57.080 --> 0:13:00.480 other gentleman whose name I don't remembers gonna living met 0:13:00.520 --> 0:13:04.240 Bobby Uh, they immediately are like, NA, get the funk 0:13:04.280 --> 0:13:07.800 out of here. But that wasn't your instinct. My first 0:13:07.840 --> 0:13:11.199 instinct was to be like, Okay, that's insane. But it 0:13:11.240 --> 0:13:13.720 wasn't even that I believed that what he was saying. 0:13:14.120 --> 0:13:16.160 Just like Joe, the way he looked like, I don't 0:13:16.160 --> 0:13:18.520 even know whose family Joe was in. He was just 0:13:19.080 --> 0:13:22.040 like an older black dude with a salt and pepper 0:13:22.080 --> 0:13:25.640 beard who was just like a Southern dude. And and 0:13:26.200 --> 0:13:27.880 me being from the South, it was like, man, I'm 0:13:27.880 --> 0:13:33.040 gonna just take his side, because just getting an elder 0:13:33.120 --> 0:13:38.160 quality to yeah, whether he's wrong or right. I was 0:13:38.200 --> 0:13:40.720 just like, man, I gotta just I gotta stick with 0:13:40.760 --> 0:13:43.600 this guy because you're talking about the magnetic poles and 0:13:43.600 --> 0:13:46.560 you're talking about the Illuminati, and he's talking about a 0:13:46.600 --> 0:13:50.440 big head scientist so um, and he's black, so I'm 0:13:50.520 --> 0:13:52.160 I'm a stand over here, So I kind of stood 0:13:52.200 --> 0:13:57.079 over next to him, I mean, and honestly, of the 0:13:57.120 --> 0:14:00.520 three options, his is the the least scary, do you 0:14:00.559 --> 0:14:02.120 know what I mean? Like, if you're telling me that 0:14:02.200 --> 0:14:04.839 the world is going to end, one of you was 0:14:04.920 --> 0:14:08.280 saying that the fucking apocalypse is coming. The other one 0:14:08.400 --> 0:14:11.600 is saying that, like there is an organization that decides 0:14:11.760 --> 0:14:14.240 every move that I make out in the world. And 0:14:14.240 --> 0:14:17.520 this dude's just saying, you know, you ain't exactly real people, 0:14:17.840 --> 0:14:20.840 but otherwise, like you can still be happy and exist 0:14:20.960 --> 0:14:22.640 and talk all your ship and we can enjoy some 0:14:22.760 --> 0:14:25.680 flower seeds in thatty light. Yeah exactly. And it was 0:14:25.760 --> 0:14:28.760 like that whole like birden of proof thing. They were like, 0:14:28.920 --> 0:14:32.720 you can't prove that that happened, and he was like, well, 0:14:32.760 --> 0:14:38.040 you can't prove that it didn't happen, and and that 0:14:38.160 --> 0:14:41.720 music played. The music played, and you know, Bobby and Biscuit, 0:14:41.760 --> 0:14:44.880 they're both war vets. Bobby was in Vietnam and Biscuit 0:14:45.000 --> 0:14:48.080 had just done he just came from like desert storm. 0:14:48.160 --> 0:14:50.600 But I was too young to remember all that. But right, 0:14:50.840 --> 0:14:52.920 they were both war Vets and they were drunk as fun. 0:14:53.080 --> 0:14:56.800 So that basic logical fallacy that Joe hit them with 0:14:56.880 --> 0:14:58.840 they didn't know how to argue with, which it's a 0:14:58.920 --> 0:15:02.520 very simple thing. It's a simple thing to argue. But 0:15:02.560 --> 0:15:04.640 they were just like, damn, you got a point. We 0:15:04.760 --> 0:15:09.040 can't really not prove. It's like he did that got 0:15:09.080 --> 0:15:12.240 your nose ship And they couldn't see their nose from 0:15:12.280 --> 0:15:14.360 their eyes. They're like, I don't know if you got 0:15:14.400 --> 0:15:17.160 my nose. I can't tell. So to see someone like 0:15:17.320 --> 0:15:21.200 bested by that, you know, in hindsight, I was like, damn, man, 0:15:21.240 --> 0:15:24.480 he really he won the fight. Well, that's such a 0:15:24.560 --> 0:15:28.760 fascinating element to all conspiracy theory, right, is that it 0:15:28.840 --> 0:15:31.880 really is just a game of who can prove their 0:15:31.960 --> 0:15:35.320 point in the moment. It isn't like who can ultimately 0:15:35.400 --> 0:15:39.080 prove their point through research and science and in fact 0:15:39.240 --> 0:15:42.440 based findings. It's just like, okay, who can make their 0:15:42.560 --> 0:15:46.360 argument sound enough in this exact moment that you essentially 0:15:46.360 --> 0:15:49.040 build an acolyte. You build somebody who's then going to 0:15:49.200 --> 0:15:53.520 follow your logic and spread that theory to someone else. 0:15:54.200 --> 0:15:58.000 Conspiracy theories and discussing them is a lot like roasting, 0:15:58.640 --> 0:16:02.840 where yeah, getting everyone on your side. It's more important 0:16:02.880 --> 0:16:05.600 to have everyone on your side. And when in the moment, 0:16:05.640 --> 0:16:08.280 like you're talking, it's like you might even you might 0:16:08.320 --> 0:16:11.800 say a joke that don't even make sense about somebody, 0:16:12.240 --> 0:16:16.560 you know what I mean, This thinker built like racado toast, 0:16:16.680 --> 0:16:21.560 And then everybody's like, it's like they just doesn't mean anything. 0:16:21.600 --> 0:16:23.880 That doesn't mean anything, but you you're just getting your 0:16:23.880 --> 0:16:27.760 glass book. Like in the moment, right, avocado toast isn't 0:16:27.760 --> 0:16:30.920 shaped any different than any other toast. This isn't like 0:16:31.560 --> 0:16:36.720 it's you just added a little qualifier to it and 0:16:36.800 --> 0:16:39.680 somehow it's way funnier. So you're the best. Then this 0:16:39.680 --> 0:16:42.480 person sucks and now people are like, oh, well, what 0:16:42.520 --> 0:16:45.800 the avocado toast shape? Nick, don't say, And then if 0:16:45.840 --> 0:16:48.360 you say that doesn't make sense, then they're gonna go, 0:16:48.440 --> 0:16:54.920 oh this thinking mad now, like look at you avocado 0:16:55.000 --> 0:17:00.320 toast wanna shape most out exactly. I I totally agree. 0:17:00.360 --> 0:17:02.840 I think that that it does have this quality of 0:17:02.920 --> 0:17:06.399 just like who can you convinced in the moment, and 0:17:06.440 --> 0:17:08.879 if you can do it effectively, then you are the 0:17:08.920 --> 0:17:12.959 winner of conspiracy theory or roasting or whatever, you know, 0:17:13.440 --> 0:17:16.320 sort of like, uh, that's what religion is sort of 0:17:16.440 --> 0:17:18.439 you know what I mean. It's just like who the 0:17:18.520 --> 0:17:21.320 funk was listening at the time that the best dude 0:17:21.400 --> 0:17:24.919 was talking, and then somebody decided to write that down. 0:17:24.960 --> 0:17:29.720 Who wrote it down, and who's writing survived through history 0:17:29.840 --> 0:17:34.920 through different ship getting conquered, through different ships, getting burnt down, 0:17:34.960 --> 0:17:38.720 through natural disasters, you know, in a way like any 0:17:38.760 --> 0:17:42.080 religion that exists still today. It's like the sperm that 0:17:42.200 --> 0:17:45.400 one kind of namic where I'm like, bro, y'all went 0:17:45.440 --> 0:17:49.600 through all of history and nobody cracked you all out, 0:17:49.880 --> 0:17:55.160 like yes, because you know, even if we're thinking about 0:17:55.160 --> 0:17:59.320 that anatomically, like the woman's vagina is literally built with 0:17:59.400 --> 0:18:04.320 like acids things to keep sperm from surviving, and yet 0:18:04.359 --> 0:18:08.639 a sperm regularly, you know, as proof through pregnancy is 0:18:08.680 --> 0:18:11.560 able to somehow navigate all that and make a child. 0:18:11.880 --> 0:18:14.320 That's what religion is. And that's the crazy part in 0:18:14.359 --> 0:18:17.000 a lot of ways is as much as you know, 0:18:17.119 --> 0:18:19.560 you and I can both agree that that's a wild 0:18:19.680 --> 0:18:23.520 concept and introduction, we can also point to a lot 0:18:23.560 --> 0:18:29.399 of other wild concepts in much more widely accepted religions, right, 0:18:29.720 --> 0:18:32.960 And so the difference in the way that it's accepted 0:18:33.119 --> 0:18:36.000 is really determined by the people in charge more than 0:18:36.080 --> 0:18:39.720 it is, like that this one so much crazier than 0:18:39.800 --> 0:18:41.879 that one, if that makes sense. You know, whether I 0:18:41.920 --> 0:18:44.680 believe any of this ship or not, which I don't, don't, 0:18:44.680 --> 0:18:52.000 I don't any any Uh, everyone's gonna be But I'm like, 0:18:52.080 --> 0:18:54.119 who am I going to make matt first with what 0:18:54.160 --> 0:18:57.520 I'm saying? Um yeah, Like I'm not a spiritual guy 0:18:57.720 --> 0:19:00.119 like you know, but I do think is it's are 0:19:00.359 --> 0:19:04.560 needed and it's very necessary and it's fun to, uh 0:19:04.600 --> 0:19:09.000 to dive into mythology and like what makes people attached 0:19:09.080 --> 0:19:13.359 themselves to mythology so vehemently? And then how does that 0:19:13.440 --> 0:19:17.560 mythology affect how a culture interacts with the world around them, 0:19:17.560 --> 0:19:20.679 because it's a very real thing, you know. Um So 0:19:20.800 --> 0:19:26.240 I love just reading creation stories and you know the way, uh, 0:19:26.320 --> 0:19:29.040 certain cultures think that the world was built and how 0:19:29.080 --> 0:19:32.040 it was built and what God gave what to who 0:19:32.080 --> 0:19:35.600 and what humans were in relation to that, because that's 0:19:35.760 --> 0:19:38.639 very important. So when I see people online, like especially 0:19:38.720 --> 0:19:42.359 in researching Yakoub, when you see people online who I'm 0:19:42.400 --> 0:19:46.160 sure grew up Catholic or Jewish, or maybe they weren't 0:19:46.240 --> 0:19:50.440 national Islam, they were regular Islam, but uncut common, maybe 0:19:50.440 --> 0:19:58.119 they were something else. But to see people go to 0:19:58.200 --> 0:20:02.320 see people ridicule it, like right out, like this is 0:20:02.480 --> 0:20:06.239 so ridiculous, and so how could anyone ever believe this? 0:20:06.280 --> 0:20:08.879 And I'm like, but that's what all of us do. 0:20:09.080 --> 0:20:12.000 All of us, even if you're not spiritual, you believe 0:20:12.000 --> 0:20:16.240 in some kind of mythology exactly, I think to your point, 0:20:16.320 --> 0:20:20.159 that's also I wish that more people were able to 0:20:20.280 --> 0:20:24.720 approach these conversations and certainly religion, even with that same 0:20:24.800 --> 0:20:27.080 level of whimsy, if you will, do you know what 0:20:27.160 --> 0:20:30.359 I mean, Like, even if you believe it, which is fine, 0:20:30.400 --> 0:20:32.399 I'm not here to decide whether or not that's a 0:20:32.400 --> 0:20:35.320 good or bad thing, but you should be having fun 0:20:35.359 --> 0:20:38.040 in this, like some of it is just an allegory, 0:20:38.440 --> 0:20:41.400 So like, let the allegory be fun instead of it 0:20:41.720 --> 0:20:44.440 being like this permanent fixture in the way that you 0:20:44.960 --> 0:20:50.200 always approach every conversation. It's absurd. Absolutely. I think we 0:20:50.280 --> 0:20:52.439 have to approach it like that because if we don't, 0:20:53.000 --> 0:20:58.240 then then the future is bleak because nothing can stop then, say, 0:20:58.600 --> 0:21:03.760 uh Ron James or Batman from becoming the next thing 0:21:03.840 --> 0:21:06.679 that people the next thing that people kill each other for. 0:21:06.920 --> 0:21:09.040 You know what I mean, Like, if we don't stop 0:21:09.119 --> 0:21:11.800 and look at like the fact that like humans are 0:21:11.800 --> 0:21:15.600 flawed and shouldn't be worshiped, and you know, I would 0:21:16.000 --> 0:21:19.440 just getting rid of like human deification because talking about 0:21:19.520 --> 0:21:22.280 God is such a way bigger conversation about if we 0:21:22.280 --> 0:21:24.360 can at least get to the point where it's like, Okay, 0:21:24.600 --> 0:21:28.959 humans are trash. Religion is funny. You're still allowed to 0:21:29.080 --> 0:21:33.520 believe in it, but it's funny. It's just and and 0:21:33.560 --> 0:21:38.720 we shouldn't replicate things that have happened like in the past, 0:21:38.800 --> 0:21:42.280 and the way to do that is in comedy. To 0:21:42.359 --> 0:21:46.199 your point, Lebron James is an exceptional athlete, is a 0:21:46.320 --> 0:21:49.880 human being unlike most human beings on this planet Earth. 0:21:50.119 --> 0:21:52.840 But he also is a motherfucker who doesn't read. Will 0:21:53.440 --> 0:21:56.159 talks not great? Do you know what I mean? Like 0:21:56.200 --> 0:21:59.600 it's he's not. He has flaws, and so we should 0:21:59.640 --> 0:22:02.920 be able to celebrate the man for his gifts while 0:22:02.960 --> 0:22:06.960 simultaneously laughing at a motherfucker who stutters through a statement 0:22:07.280 --> 0:22:10.399 about black lives matter. And so if we can meld 0:22:10.480 --> 0:22:13.159 those two, we can have an honest reflection of the 0:22:13.240 --> 0:22:16.639 human being that he is instead of, like you said, uh, 0:22:16.800 --> 0:22:21.199 deifying him and creating some dangerous space where like my 0:22:21.359 --> 0:22:24.359 grandkids are gonna grow up like making the cross with 0:22:24.440 --> 0:22:29.000 the basketballers. Well, I mean holy Market. Yeah, there's literally 0:22:29.040 --> 0:22:32.119 nothing in my mind stops me from believing that if 0:22:32.200 --> 0:22:38.320 Lebron James actually lived two thousand years ago today we 0:22:38.320 --> 0:22:42.080 would live in a world where you, before every major event, 0:22:42.240 --> 0:22:46.160 clap white dust in your hands and like maybe like maybe, 0:22:46.160 --> 0:22:48.879 like boys when they're born, you're not allowed to have 0:22:48.920 --> 0:22:51.880 a hairline until like you become a man. Like they 0:22:51.920 --> 0:22:54.640 shaved your hairline all the way back until you're eighteen, 0:22:55.119 --> 0:22:56.679 and then now you're allowed to have it, but you 0:22:56.720 --> 0:22:58.760 have to put on a headband until you gotta put 0:22:58.960 --> 0:23:00.960 you gotta put a wig on. And it's not a 0:23:00.960 --> 0:23:03.479 good way. You gotta you gotta sort of tie it 0:23:03.560 --> 0:23:07.680 down loosely. Y. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I have no Lebron 0:23:07.760 --> 0:23:10.480 James would have dunked on Jesus, you know what I mean, 0:23:10.520 --> 0:23:14.120 Like he's he's six eight, Jesus was a good five three. 0:23:14.480 --> 0:23:16.800 These motherfuckers weren't gonna be able to compete in any 0:23:16.880 --> 0:23:20.160 sort of physical activities, and so of course Lebron would 0:23:20.160 --> 0:23:22.719 have become our new God. But that doesn't that's not 0:23:22.800 --> 0:23:25.680 the right thing. Let's let's just be honest and laugh 0:23:25.760 --> 0:23:29.160 at all of it. But can we just talk about 0:23:29.200 --> 0:23:31.919 how funny it would be to have a stained last 0:23:32.040 --> 0:23:36.440 portrait of Jesus of Jesus on the cross, but there's 0:23:36.440 --> 0:23:38.919 a basketball hoop above his head where the found of 0:23:39.040 --> 0:23:46.320 corn of crowns is and it's Lebron ducking like Jesus 0:23:46.400 --> 0:23:51.280 is having a bad day already. God, But ship Hooper 0:23:51.320 --> 0:23:53.320 has got a hoop, you know what I mean, Lebron 0:23:53.400 --> 0:23:56.040 ceo hoop. He gotta do his thing. He's dunking on 0:23:56.160 --> 0:24:00.920 Jesus like he's doing like what was that basketball player 0:24:00.960 --> 0:24:02.560 back in the day who dunked and like put his 0:24:02.640 --> 0:24:04.399