1
00:00:00,520 --> 00:00:03,080
Speaker 1: We're back. I'm Drew McCarry and I'm David Roth and

2
00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:07,040
Speaker 1: coming in September a new site we have built together

3
00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:10,039
Speaker 1: called defect or Defector, and we're gonna have a new

4
00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:12,920
Speaker 1: podcast to go with it, This very podcast which has

5
00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:16,000
Speaker 1: the name The Distraction. It's out right now at available

6
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:19,880
Speaker 1: every rusticate your podcast at such a Spotify, Apple Go

7
00:00:20,040 --> 00:00:22,520
Speaker 1: listen right now to The Distraction everywhere. It's out right now.

8
00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:31,040
Speaker 1: Go listen to see I buy. If I could do

9
00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:34,880
Speaker 1: it all over again and I had the ability, I

10
00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:37,479
Speaker 1: will put you in a box and just keep you

11
00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:39,920
Speaker 1: on the side so I could do my thing and

12
00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:44,040
Speaker 1: then come back and get you at the box. Leader Gee,

13
00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:47,400
Speaker 1: thanks too, as dead ass and being honest, Well, if

14
00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:50,000
Speaker 1: I could do it all over again, I wouldn't have

15
00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:53,280
Speaker 1: rushed into a relationship with you. I took my time,

16
00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:57,840
Speaker 1: played the field and all that, so you gave up

17
00:00:57,880 --> 00:01:05,399
Speaker 1: the box. Possibly that ASDA broke out the box, dead ass. Hey,

18
00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:09,480
Speaker 1: I'm Cade and we're the ellis Is. You may know

19
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:12,600
Speaker 1: us from posting fundy videos with our boys and reading

20
00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:16,039
Speaker 1: each other publicly as a form of therapy. I'm making

21
00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:20,120
Speaker 1: me derby most days. And one more important thing to

22
00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:23,640
Speaker 1: mention we're married, Yes, sir, we are. We created this

23
00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:27,119
Speaker 1: podcast to open dialogue about some of life's most taboo topics,

24
00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:30,200
Speaker 1: things most folks don't want to talk about through the

25
00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:32,440
Speaker 1: lens of a millennium married couple. Dead ass is a

26
00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:34,920
Speaker 1: term that we say every day. Where we say dead ass,

27
00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:38,760
Speaker 1: we're actually saying facts, the truth, the whole truth, and

28
00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:41,560
Speaker 1: nothing but the truth. We're about to take pillow talk

29
00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:46,400
Speaker 1: to a whole new level. Dead Ask starts now. Two

30
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:51,080
Speaker 1: thousand and seven. Codein and I spend the first Christmas

31
00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:54,000
Speaker 1: and Thanksgiving together as a couple living in our own

32
00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:56,680
Speaker 1: space in Michigan. This is my second year in the NFL,

33
00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:01,160
Speaker 1: our first holiday outside of school. She had graduated from

34
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:07,000
Speaker 1: Hostra's master's program, and Codeine pretty much gives me, not

35
00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:08,960
Speaker 1: an ultimatum, but she let me know she was not

36
00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:12,720
Speaker 1: into shacking up. That I had to make a decision.

37
00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:16,080
Speaker 1: I pretty much had to shipt or get off the pot. Yeah,

38
00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:19,440
Speaker 1: it was a extended situation that I feel like we

39
00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:22,639
Speaker 1: were in. And you know, when you reach a certain age,

40
00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:26,640
Speaker 1: there's this natural succession of life that you feel like, Okay,

41
00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:29,640
Speaker 1: I've reached this achievement and I've reached this achievement almost

42
00:02:29,639 --> 00:02:31,960
Speaker 1: like school, you know, you go from nursery to kindergarten

43
00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:34,760
Speaker 1: for a second third, you know, junior high high school.

44
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:38,959
Speaker 1: In life, I at least saw it as we've been dating.

45
00:02:39,919 --> 00:02:44,760
Speaker 1: We're dating seriously, and for me, an engagement seemed like

46
00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:48,320
Speaker 1: the natural progression if we've been together for seven years.

47
00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:52,400
Speaker 1: But you didn't quite see it that way. Now. I

48
00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:54,800
Speaker 1: just finished my second year in the NFL. I'm coming

49
00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:58,120
Speaker 1: off knee surgery. I didn't play my second year. My

50
00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:01,080
Speaker 1: focus was on getting back to doing what I do

51
00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:04,960
Speaker 1: to make money. You give me this ultimatum, pretty much

52
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,160
Speaker 1: told me you would be going back to New York

53
00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:11,960
Speaker 1: if I didn't make some decisions. So buy a house

54
00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:17,320
Speaker 1: in Michigan. I propose the summer two eight. Spring it

55
00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:23,040
Speaker 1: was spring. Excuse me, Spring two. I get cut. Mm hmm.

56
00:03:23,639 --> 00:03:28,639
Speaker 1: In two thousand and eight, the recession hits August two eight.

57
00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:34,360
Speaker 1: We lose of all of the money in the stock market.

58
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,440
Speaker 1: We lose over a hundred thousand dollars and the properties

59
00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:42,800
Speaker 1: that I bought. We moved back to Brooklyn with nothing,

60
00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:48,120
Speaker 1: and you say to me, I'm ready to plan this wedding.

61
00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:52,240
Speaker 1: At that point, we had nothing else but I had you.

62
00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:59,440
Speaker 1: But we planned a wedding. We get married three d

63
00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:04,000
Speaker 1: and seven and the five people mm hmm. We moved

64
00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:08,520
Speaker 1: back into this apartment and we're just looking at each

65
00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:13,600
Speaker 1: other like, what did we just do? It was all

66
00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:16,719
Speaker 1: a dream. I used to read Bird Up magazine, so

67
00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:19,840
Speaker 1: on Pepper and Heavy deal in a limousine, hanging pictures

68
00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:26,080
Speaker 1: on my wall every Saturday. Remain Yes, you know very

69
00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:30,960
Speaker 1: well who we are. Listen, listen't about to get me

70
00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:37,360
Speaker 1: into spread love. It's the Brooklyn way. That's my joint

71
00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:43,520
Speaker 1: fread love is the Brooklyn that record deal, Papa. I

72
00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:46,280
Speaker 1: know you over here singing. Yeah, I know how I am.

73
00:04:46,279 --> 00:04:48,480
Speaker 1: I singing. I make a song up for everything you do.

74
00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:52,160
Speaker 1: That's how I keep Kate's working and the next and whatnot.

75
00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:55,960
Speaker 1: You know, let's get to the nitty gritty. What's the

76
00:04:56,040 --> 00:05:01,080
Speaker 1: nitty griddy? We have five facts about each other that

77
00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:03,520
Speaker 1: we weren't allowed to let each other see. So do

78
00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:06,279
Speaker 1: not look at my paper, all right, do not look

79
00:05:06,279 --> 00:05:10,680
Speaker 1: at my papers. I'm shifting my laptop as we speak.

80
00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:12,719
Speaker 1: I hope, I hope you're not trying to read me,

81
00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:14,520
Speaker 1: because that's the whole nother I'm not going to read you.

82
00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:17,479
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna read younna be honest. Right, So we

83
00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:20,080
Speaker 1: gave we both gave one fact early on. You know,

84
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,560
Speaker 1: I played in the NFL, right, gave our little backstory

85
00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:25,480
Speaker 1: and whatnot. And I'm trying I was trying to think

86
00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:27,760
Speaker 1: of things that people wouldn't guess. I guess based off

87
00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:30,280
Speaker 1: of like social media, because let's basically, people know us

88
00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:33,400
Speaker 1: from social media, YouTube, blogs, and though that shows a

89
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:36,560
Speaker 1: lot of our life, um, it's scripted, like we put

90
00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:38,760
Speaker 1: out there what I want. We want, we want you

91
00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:43,240
Speaker 1: all to see, you know. So now, yeah, and it's

92
00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:45,160
Speaker 1: also therapy for us. So we get an opportunity to

93
00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:47,000
Speaker 1: be real with each other right in front of your

94
00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:49,480
Speaker 1: so you can see how we flesh out some of

95
00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:54,279
Speaker 1: our how we discuss and debate. Yes, so I'll let

96
00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:57,600
Speaker 1: you go first. Oh, thank you. I appreciate that beauty.

97
00:05:57,880 --> 00:06:01,680
Speaker 1: All right. So fact number two about Devo, I'll choose

98
00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:07,120
Speaker 1: your favorite number. Yes, umber two. Devo is a legitimate artist,

99
00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:09,839
Speaker 1: like he can paint. He actually painted what was it

100
00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:12,520
Speaker 1: a cheetah or a jack? And I had no idea.

101
00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:13,920
Speaker 1: I thought it was something like you bought from the

102
00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:16,360
Speaker 1: store or something. It was that good. So all the

103
00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:18,680
Speaker 1: kids projects from here on they had anything to do

104
00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:22,599
Speaker 1: with drawing my alley. But it just makes sense about

105
00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:25,480
Speaker 1: you always having been a creative. You know, you played

106
00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:28,880
Speaker 1: football in the NFL, you run businesses, You're great at

107
00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:31,599
Speaker 1: establishing them, You're great at kind of overseeing that stuff.

108
00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:34,440
Speaker 1: That's cool, But I noticed that you're never really fulfilled

109
00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:37,480
Speaker 1: unless you really submerge yourself into the craft. So I

110
00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:39,320
Speaker 1: got to create. I feel like, I like, I have

111
00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:41,120
Speaker 1: a lot of things going on in my mind, and

112
00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,480
Speaker 1: when I see something I can inspire by, I either

113
00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:44,920
Speaker 1: want to sketch it, I want to draw it, I

114
00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:47,560
Speaker 1: want to make a video, I want to write about it.

115
00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:49,800
Speaker 1: And like you said, I've never been fulfilled if I

116
00:06:49,839 --> 00:06:51,640
Speaker 1: wasn't creating. And that's the thing that killed me about

117
00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:54,360
Speaker 1: the NFL was the structure. Was that you only had

118
00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:56,000
Speaker 1: time to do this. You had to go to practice

119
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,320
Speaker 1: these days. And I don't like structure, Like most creative

120
00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:00,960
Speaker 1: people don't like structure. We like to color outside the lines.

121
00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:04,640
Speaker 1: So creating, drawing and painting allows me to do that.

122
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:06,960
Speaker 1: Do you take the same approach with me in the gym,

123
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,960
Speaker 1: Like when you're trying to like, you know, show me

124
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:12,440
Speaker 1: workouts to sculpt my body. Absolutely well, you know you're like, yeah,

125
00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,040
Speaker 1: you need a little more on hip. Stop me give

126
00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:17,600
Speaker 1: you this exercise I do artist and whatnot? Yes, that

127
00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:20,080
Speaker 1: well that technically that's not your body, that's my body.

128
00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:22,320
Speaker 1: I have the most fun with it, all right, so

129
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,400
Speaker 1: I want to enjoy it, so I sculpt it. I

130
00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:27,800
Speaker 1: am not your possession. Don't even go there. See why

131
00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:30,120
Speaker 1: you gotta take it there? Women always got to take

132
00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:33,280
Speaker 1: it there. We know you empowered. I wasn't. I was

133
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:35,200
Speaker 1: just letting you know that I love you girl. There.

134
00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:37,560
Speaker 1: I can't let you know I love you, girl. Just

135
00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:45,760
Speaker 1: let's just speak. It's so stupid, but no, it makes

136
00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:48,000
Speaker 1: sense because even watching you with like a recent business

137
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,440
Speaker 1: that you have and you having to be responsible for

138
00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:53,720
Speaker 1: email chains and you know, the chain of commands. If

139
00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:57,280
Speaker 1: I was like going crazy every day having to deal

140
00:07:57,320 --> 00:08:00,720
Speaker 1: with that structure. So you know that that should be

141
00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:03,000
Speaker 1: like an artist all the way that it makes me

142
00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:04,600
Speaker 1: want to You can't quit your own business, though, so

143
00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:06,360
Speaker 1: I can't. That's why I didn't quit. But it's like

144
00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:09,000
Speaker 1: once once you have someone who's telling me you have

145
00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:10,400
Speaker 1: to be somewhere at a certain time or do it

146
00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:11,920
Speaker 1: this way. I don't want to do it almore. Yeah,

147
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,080
Speaker 1: I don't. I want to do it my way. Absolutely,

148
00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:16,840
Speaker 1: That's just the way I am. Yeah. That's why we

149
00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:21,200
Speaker 1: work well because You're all about structure and alignment and

150
00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:23,560
Speaker 1: purpose and I'm all about creating. So it's kind of

151
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:25,960
Speaker 1: like the contract. We feed off of each other because

152
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,240
Speaker 1: sometimes you need you a little structure whenever you're ready,

153
00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:31,400
Speaker 1: nere need structure. Yeah, but I need to I need

154
00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:32,880
Speaker 1: to bring that that. I need to take a picture

155
00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:35,319
Speaker 1: and post it one day. And my stories of the

156
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:39,360
Speaker 1: cheetah that devoted painted like legit painted, guys, Yes, no

157
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:42,160
Speaker 1: paint by numbers. Painted it myself. I sketched it first

158
00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:44,480
Speaker 1: and then I painted. That's crazy. So when Jackson has

159
00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,400
Speaker 1: this projects now, I'm like, don't even look this way.

160
00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:49,439
Speaker 1: I won't I do the writing assignments. Let's get into

161
00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:52,360
Speaker 1: your second fact, don't you because you looking at me

162
00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:57,040
Speaker 1: with that phase. Okay, let I'm an artist, Codeine is

163
00:08:57,080 --> 00:09:03,280
Speaker 1: as well. Codeine excels in the art of procrastination. Shut out. Yea,

164
00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:06,480
Speaker 1: this is a huge fact that I think people need

165
00:09:06,559 --> 00:09:09,319
Speaker 1: to know. All Right, we talked about it. I'm a creator.

166
00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:12,400
Speaker 1: I am not organized. I am not organized at all.

167
00:09:12,559 --> 00:09:15,840
Speaker 1: I have my faults, but Codeine is very organized. She

168
00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:18,440
Speaker 1: just don't like to do ship. That is not true.

169
00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:23,559
Speaker 1: I just get it done in your time, yes, because

170
00:09:23,559 --> 00:09:25,120
Speaker 1: then it becomes my best work when I do it

171
00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:26,960
Speaker 1: in my time. You know what you're You're great at

172
00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:29,760
Speaker 1: creating excuses as to why stuff don't got to be

173
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:36,120
Speaker 1: done when it needs to be done, but respected respect

174
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:39,000
Speaker 1: of it gets done when it's supposed to get You're

175
00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:43,000
Speaker 1: like Michaelangelo procrastination, and at that point it becomes perfection. No,

176
00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:45,080
Speaker 1: but honestly, you're right. You're right guys, that I am

177
00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:47,160
Speaker 1: a procrastinator. I am, and I don't know what it is.

178
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:49,480
Speaker 1: I think it's like in my mind there's this pursuit

179
00:09:49,559 --> 00:09:52,840
Speaker 1: of the perfect time, or like the perfect thing, and

180
00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:54,880
Speaker 1: if I could never reach that perfection, I feel like

181
00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:57,720
Speaker 1: I gotta wait and then life just casses me by.

182
00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:59,880
Speaker 1: So it really helps to have somebody like him that

183
00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,800
Speaker 1: is so focused and driven on light the task at

184
00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:05,120
Speaker 1: hand needs to be completed right now. And as much

185
00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:08,000
Speaker 1: as it drives me nuts, sometimes I need it. I

186
00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:10,960
Speaker 1: need it. You're watching, You're watching the art, the artist

187
00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:15,120
Speaker 1: in the mastery telling you. Unless you break this down

188
00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:17,960
Speaker 1: for you. And I'm an actress to so because you

189
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,280
Speaker 1: know how you go into a job interview and it

190
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,640
Speaker 1: was just like, you know, tell us one fault about

191
00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:24,920
Speaker 1: yourself that you would you know, that's one fault. And

192
00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:27,199
Speaker 1: what they say weakness, what's your one weakness? This is

193
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:30,480
Speaker 1: good needs one weakness. I'm a perfectionist. I have things

194
00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:32,160
Speaker 1: you have to be perfect, so it takes me a lot.

195
00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:34,560
Speaker 1: That's what she just did just now. She said that

196
00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:37,360
Speaker 1: she procrastinates because if it's not done perfectly, she gotta

197
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:39,800
Speaker 1: wait to tomorrow to do it, or sometimes I don't

198
00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:41,679
Speaker 1: feel like doing that ship right then and there. All right,

199
00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:47,520
Speaker 1: I'll give you up perfect example, your artist. You're the

200
00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:51,079
Speaker 1: Michelangelo of artist. Tree of procrastination. The Sistine Chapel is

201
00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:54,160
Speaker 1: in our living room. That Christmas tree, the Christmas four parts,

202
00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:57,840
Speaker 1: and like one four of the tree is off, the

203
00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:00,560
Speaker 1: ornaments down. I don't even talk about the to the

204
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:04,360
Speaker 1: to the third fact please because I'm starting to get

205
00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:06,800
Speaker 1: upset things about the Christmas tree. Well, it's funny that

206
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:09,640
Speaker 1: that one segues into one of mine. My third fact

207
00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:14,400
Speaker 1: for the val de Vo thinks that arguing is a

208
00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:18,880
Speaker 1: sport and he always thinks he's right, and he is

209
00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:22,800
Speaker 1: probably the most exhausting person to debate or argue with.

210
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:27,640
Speaker 1: I'm taking back, like the competitive nature in you takes

211
00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:31,280
Speaker 1: up discussions as something you have to win, and you're

212
00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:34,240
Speaker 1: not always right. And that's the thing that drives me nuts,

213
00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:37,440
Speaker 1: is because you're not always right. Bro, I'm taking back.

214
00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:40,840
Speaker 1: You said I think I'm always right. You know, I know,

215
00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:44,000
Speaker 1: I know I'm always right. He does, and and the

216
00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:46,680
Speaker 1: thing is so frustrated and arguing with you is not

217
00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:50,040
Speaker 1: about it's just waiting for you to realize that I'm right.

218
00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:53,679
Speaker 1: That's what's wrong with the people don't argue with They

219
00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:55,360
Speaker 1: don't know that which is so funny and it's so

220
00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:57,400
Speaker 1: opposite of what people see on social media, because you're

221
00:11:57,440 --> 00:11:59,560
Speaker 1: just like, I need me a devil in my life.

222
00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:02,680
Speaker 1: I need a man who understands the X, Y, Z

223
00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:08,760
Speaker 1: and Z and No, this dude over here tell me

224
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:11,600
Speaker 1: somebody who argue when they know they're wrong. Nobody argue

225
00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:13,520
Speaker 1: when they know they're wrong. That's not the point. People.

226
00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:17,240
Speaker 1: You need to be open to seeing other people's visions

227
00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:20,240
Speaker 1: and other people's reasons. You need to be understanding of

228
00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:24,600
Speaker 1: their explanations. As to how they arrived at their decision

229
00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:28,760
Speaker 1: or how they arrived at the path they took. You

230
00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:30,920
Speaker 1: don't be trying to hear that you're doing. You breathe

231
00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:33,440
Speaker 1: over that. They got to make sense though in your

232
00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:38,360
Speaker 1: minds you can't, beautiful mind. You have to be able

233
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:41,720
Speaker 1: to articulate those thoughts. Yeah, all right. So for everybody

234
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:44,440
Speaker 1: that is like, I want me a devil in condine,

235
00:12:44,559 --> 00:12:46,719
Speaker 1: what prayer did you say to find you? And you

236
00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:54,200
Speaker 1: don't even know? Just know when it comes with at easy,

237
00:12:54,240 --> 00:13:00,280
Speaker 1: every day absolutely every day facts. B. I just realized

238
00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:02,199
Speaker 1: how to do that in an emoji sidebar. You put

239
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:06,320
Speaker 1: the fax machine and then the B. So this is

240
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,679
Speaker 1: the person I'll be arguing with this and now you

241
00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:15,800
Speaker 1: see why while arguing to my dolop and I was like, yo,

242
00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:18,280
Speaker 1: I put the one hundred, like yo, one hundred, that's

243
00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:20,880
Speaker 1: another like phrase for a hundred, Like I got you, bro,

244
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:24,120
Speaker 1: And then he put the fax machine. And to be

245
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:29,840
Speaker 1: like an actual I was like up in the private house,

246
00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:33,320
Speaker 1: you know certain things, certain things private house don't don't

247
00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:36,600
Speaker 1: do it. Let me go, let me go to my

248
00:13:36,679 --> 00:13:39,720
Speaker 1: third factor for codein and a lot of people don't

249
00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:43,720
Speaker 1: know this. Oh God, Codeine's discipline comes from the fact

250
00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:49,680
Speaker 1: that she's a classically trained dancer and penis right, So yes,

251
00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:52,840
Speaker 1: I did. What people don't know is that Codeine is

252
00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:58,560
Speaker 1: very detail oriented. So when I say things like she's

253
00:13:58,559 --> 00:14:02,520
Speaker 1: a perfectionist or or like she know she graduated magnicolon lauda.

254
00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:06,560
Speaker 1: She was valedictorian of her junior high school. And you

255
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:08,880
Speaker 1: were salutatorian in high school. What was it in high school? No,

256
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,040
Speaker 1: high school And there was mad people up high school,

257
00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:14,199
Speaker 1: and I say what you want to say, it was

258
00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:18,199
Speaker 1: mad smart people. The auditorian's overall a g p A

259
00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:19,960
Speaker 1: was like a hundred point eight. Like how does that

260
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:22,440
Speaker 1: even happen? I have no clue. Hey, this is what

261
00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:25,920
Speaker 1: it is. Very smart. But um, yeah, you you were

262
00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:30,000
Speaker 1: very detail oriented. You do everything with purpose. Um. Today

263
00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:32,400
Speaker 1: is a perfect example. Like you put your makeup on

264
00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:34,840
Speaker 1: and your wig to do a podcast. Can't nobody see

265
00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:39,160
Speaker 1: what you wear it, but they can hear how beautiful

266
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:42,360
Speaker 1: you are. If I feel good and I look good,

267
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:44,880
Speaker 1: I'm going to sound good. And I wanted to sound

268
00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:47,720
Speaker 1: out there like this is some of y'all's first time

269
00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:50,160
Speaker 1: hearing me. So I want to make sure that y'all

270
00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:52,760
Speaker 1: can understand how I feel. And and and also I

271
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:55,080
Speaker 1: need John to understand how I feel because she's classically

272
00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:57,680
Speaker 1: trained as a dancer. She she turns and she points

273
00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:00,560
Speaker 1: on like one ft all the time. So left foot,

274
00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:04,760
Speaker 1: it is fucked up. I got. I'm just being honest

275
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:06,840
Speaker 1: with the people. I gotta deal with that. Left foot

276
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:10,760
Speaker 1: is on my left foot, guy. The bottom part about bed,

277
00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:13,760
Speaker 1: she's shoving my right my right leg, my right leg

278
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:17,080
Speaker 1: right now. I seem like somebody was kicking me in

279
00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:19,320
Speaker 1: my sleep. That just be heard what she cut along.

280
00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:21,360
Speaker 1: Now you're gonna have people zooming into my feet like

281
00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:24,080
Speaker 1: on my finches and stuff. Make sure I filter my

282
00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:26,840
Speaker 1: foot from now on. It don't matter who. I love it.

283
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,880
Speaker 1: I love it. I still looked them tolds. Baby. You

284
00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:34,520
Speaker 1: know I'm a nasty motherfucker. I would stay far away

285
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:41,520
Speaker 1: from it. Left kind of bad guys. Fact number four

286
00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:47,520
Speaker 1: about the bell, this is like becoming a roast? Is

287
00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:50,600
Speaker 1: this anywhere in the breakdown that ya like Devot's on

288
00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:56,960
Speaker 1: roast kidding today? So this one, I don't know when

289
00:15:57,000 --> 00:16:00,080
Speaker 1: I thought of it. I really thought of it. I

290
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:02,520
Speaker 1: I tried to try to find facts that people based

291
00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:05,400
Speaker 1: off of social media and and and vlogs and everything

292
00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:08,520
Speaker 1: would not guess about Devo. And this kind of made

293
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:11,760
Speaker 1: me a little emotional when I thought about it. Um,

294
00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:15,960
Speaker 1: devots relentlessness is a direct result of him feeling like

295
00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:22,400
Speaker 1: he's never been anyone's favorite. Oh damn, you're just gonna

296
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:27,520
Speaker 1: go right in too, my childhood. Childhood episode one wounds

297
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:33,360
Speaker 1: my mother already, Like you shut up. True, I have

298
00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:40,040
Speaker 1: a very good relationship with shout out to, but no, like,

299
00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:42,680
Speaker 1: this is something that we've spoken about and I feel like,

300
00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:44,960
Speaker 1: you know, in future episodes we can dive into it

301
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,960
Speaker 1: a little bit deeper. But it's the truth, though, it's

302
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:50,240
Speaker 1: the truth. I remember you saying that you've you've always

303
00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:51,920
Speaker 1: felt like you were never good enough or you never

304
00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:55,480
Speaker 1: a favorite, never the favorite child, never the favorite on

305
00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:58,320
Speaker 1: the football team, never the you know know what's funny though,

306
00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:03,800
Speaker 1: and honest, having kids now I understand why I felt

307
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:07,280
Speaker 1: that we're growing up. We're both the oldest. So when

308
00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:09,960
Speaker 1: you're the oldest child, there's no blueprint for how to

309
00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:12,399
Speaker 1: do things. So I was the first, and then my

310
00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:15,120
Speaker 1: brother came three years later, and then my sister ten

311
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:18,000
Speaker 1: years later. So seven seven years later from my brother

312
00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:20,360
Speaker 1: so ten years from me, but I feel like with

313
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:22,600
Speaker 1: my parents they were trying to figure it out with me.

314
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:24,400
Speaker 1: And on top of that, when you're the oldest, there's

315
00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:27,360
Speaker 1: a greater pressure to do well because the younger ones

316
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:30,360
Speaker 1: are watching. And I find myself doing that to Jackson,

317
00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:33,960
Speaker 1: and it's tough because I want to parent him as

318
00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:35,960
Speaker 1: best as I can, and sometimes I feel like, damn,

319
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:39,200
Speaker 1: I'm turning into my parents. But I understand it now,

320
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:42,040
Speaker 1: But throughout life before I had kids, I didn't get it, Like,

321
00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:44,479
Speaker 1: you know, they couldn't. They couldn't show any favor towards

322
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,440
Speaker 1: me because I was the oldest. I did things first,

323
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:49,440
Speaker 1: and then my brother comes along and we're the same sex,

324
00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:50,680
Speaker 1: so it's like you don't want him to have to

325
00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:53,560
Speaker 1: live up to his brother, so you kind of find

326
00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:56,520
Speaker 1: his his attributes that you can highlight. And then to me,

327
00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:59,000
Speaker 1: I took it as you were just you know, forgetting

328
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:02,800
Speaker 1: about my attributes. But I think also too um in

329
00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:04,720
Speaker 1: your parents defense, that they knew you were going to

330
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:07,119
Speaker 1: be good. Like as a parent, you know when your

331
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:10,159
Speaker 1: child has something, when they have like an X factor,

332
00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:12,639
Speaker 1: like something just this, there's a light in them that

333
00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:14,879
Speaker 1: just can't be damned, and you just know that this

334
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:16,840
Speaker 1: child is going to do X y Z and to

335
00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:19,240
Speaker 1: try to as a lot though she used to try

336
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:22,960
Speaker 1: to fresh and you used to talk back the damn.

337
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:27,520
Speaker 1: You just turn into Jackson's mom in here fresh you were,

338
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:31,679
Speaker 1: I wasn't fresh that very opinionated. Yes I've heard that

339
00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:34,359
Speaker 1: before too. Yes my mother told you that. Yeah, I

340
00:18:34,359 --> 00:18:36,199
Speaker 1: mean I know, I deal with you now. She handed

341
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:39,240
Speaker 1: you off to me like proudly. She was like here,

342
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:43,520
Speaker 1: She's like here here he's yours now. Yeah, good luck,

343
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,560
Speaker 1: She's like, good luck. Me and Ma we share many

344
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:50,920
Speaker 1: of like side eyes together, codes and whatnot. Got a

345
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:54,080
Speaker 1: number one ladies in my life. Kane kane until my daughter,

346
00:18:55,520 --> 00:19:02,480
Speaker 1: but not excuse kicking you don't try to slide it in.

347
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:07,000
Speaker 1: You slide nothing. Now shut up. I slide it in again,

348
00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:14,280
Speaker 1: not even and again my daughter is here noting for it.

349
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,480
Speaker 1: You know about the last time that was one pump

350
00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:18,280
Speaker 1: too many. So we ain't going to through that again.

351
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:22,840
Speaker 1: Fool me twice, shame on me the same. You don't

352
00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:25,440
Speaker 1: even know the same, sounding like bush, sounding like bush,

353
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:29,760
Speaker 1: sounding terrible, just stopping you can't get food again. Topic,

354
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:32,520
Speaker 1: But you know it's funny though you know what I

355
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:34,600
Speaker 1: heard a lot growing up my dad. You know, you

356
00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:37,880
Speaker 1: know what broke your attitude stinks and I always felt

357
00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:39,760
Speaker 1: like I had to like go more and more. But

358
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:42,440
Speaker 1: I mean you you you suffered with a similar thing. Though. Yeah,

359
00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:45,640
Speaker 1: it's just funky when you're ready? Is she talking about something?

360
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:50,159
Speaker 1: I thought this wasn't a roast, no many therapy session.

361
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:52,240
Speaker 1: But I just want you to you're my favorite, babe,

362
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:53,879
Speaker 1: just so you know that. I know you may not

363
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,920
Speaker 1: feel like that every day, but you really, I'm definitely

364
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:59,080
Speaker 1: not your favorite. Definitely not your favorite. I have other

365
00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:01,199
Speaker 1: husbands that you could your favorite anyway. Well, I mean,

366
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:03,320
Speaker 1: we live in the house with you three other husbands,

367
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:06,680
Speaker 1: and I know I don't come before kyro Jackson and Cass.

368
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:10,880
Speaker 1: I know that the I know that right now, which

369
00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:12,280
Speaker 1: is why you feel like you want a daughter so

370
00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:16,040
Speaker 1: you can have you know, I need my own teammate.

371
00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:21,119
Speaker 1: But this takes me to my fourth fact about Codeine,

372
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:23,440
Speaker 1: And it's funny how we've lived together so long. I see,

373
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:25,640
Speaker 1: I feel like our facts are almost going in unison.

374
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:31,480
Speaker 1: But Codein never thinks she's good enough, and I think

375
00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:34,680
Speaker 1: that comes from my third fact, because you were a

376
00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:38,800
Speaker 1: pageant girl, and because you did classically training dance and

377
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:42,320
Speaker 1: classically geo classically trained pianists, that you always trying to

378
00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:44,920
Speaker 1: be perfect at everything, that no matter how great you

379
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:46,679
Speaker 1: are at something, you just feel like it's not good enough.

380
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:49,080
Speaker 1: You get down on yourself. I think that that's part

381
00:20:49,119 --> 00:20:52,159
Speaker 1: of the reason why you procrastinate. Plus, your mom is

382
00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:56,320
Speaker 1: hard on you, bro, Like, your mom is very very

383
00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:59,399
Speaker 1: hard on you. And I think it's another oldest thing.

384
00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:02,439
Speaker 1: My mom, the oldest of six, born and raised in Jamaica,

385
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:04,639
Speaker 1: you know, was trying to find our way to America.

386
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:06,760
Speaker 1: It's for a better life and you know, be able

387
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:10,480
Speaker 1: to send money back home to her family. And yeah,

388
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:13,600
Speaker 1: my mom was always very very adamant about me being

389
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,280
Speaker 1: able to stand on my own two feet and be

390
00:21:15,359 --> 00:21:17,320
Speaker 1: able to provide for myself and take care of myself

391
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:20,080
Speaker 1: and be independent. And I mean, hey, it's the pressure

392
00:21:20,119 --> 00:21:21,400
Speaker 1: that was put on me. This made me the woman

393
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:22,960
Speaker 1: I am today. So I have no regrets and I

394
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:25,639
Speaker 1: love my mother for that. Um and my dad of

395
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:27,239
Speaker 1: course has been around two but Dad is not as

396
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:31,159
Speaker 1: like you know mom. Dad's kind of like, yeah, you know,

397
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:33,800
Speaker 1: live and be free. Mom more so, you know, she

398
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,879
Speaker 1: she had her foot in my neck like from early

399
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:37,880
Speaker 1: early so and that. Like you said, I think it's

400
00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:40,399
Speaker 1: the oldest thing. But I also think it's being a

401
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:43,200
Speaker 1: woman and her wanting you to be a strong woman.

402
00:21:43,359 --> 00:21:46,879
Speaker 1: Absolutely absolutely. I mean you think about where women have

403
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:49,280
Speaker 1: been where we're going right now, especially like being a

404
00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:51,600
Speaker 1: woman right now and a black woman at that. Speaking

405
00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:54,080
Speaker 1: of which, this is a question that people always ask

406
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:55,600
Speaker 1: that I don't think they know about you, is that

407
00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:59,600
Speaker 1: Codeine suffers from anxiety, especially when she has to perform.

408
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:02,680
Speaker 1: That's in part because she thinks she's never good enough.

409
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:06,320
Speaker 1: But it's it's funny because you can, you can function

410
00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:08,919
Speaker 1: while having anxiety. For example, on the way over here,

411
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:12,159
Speaker 1: Coudin was, damn, they're having a panic attack. And we

412
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:14,399
Speaker 1: talked about it and we we got it out, you know,

413
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:16,159
Speaker 1: when she was able to speak on it. And the

414
00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:19,520
Speaker 1: thing is we've learned that we speak through things. If

415
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:22,120
Speaker 1: she's going through something and or I'm going through something,

416
00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:26,360
Speaker 1: we got to talk to each others with us, there's

417
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:28,000
Speaker 1: no putting things off like we got to deal with it.

418
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:34,720
Speaker 1: And the thing is, so many women, so many women

419
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:37,000
Speaker 1: asked me like what did Coldein do to get you

420
00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:40,720
Speaker 1: or how what does codein do in your relationship to

421
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:44,200
Speaker 1: you know, make it work? That she's so strong, And

422
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:45,920
Speaker 1: I think what you do the most is that you're

423
00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:48,760
Speaker 1: vulnerable through your strength, Like you're able to you know,

424
00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:50,359
Speaker 1: you're about to cry and we're on the train and

425
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:53,440
Speaker 1: you're just like maybe I'm having anxiety. Like I think

426
00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:55,840
Speaker 1: that's the strength and being vulnerable and you know, and

427
00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:57,360
Speaker 1: being able to tell me like I don't think I'm

428
00:22:57,359 --> 00:22:59,720
Speaker 1: going to be good, you know what I'm saying, being

429
00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:01,920
Speaker 1: been with that. I think that's a strength that you have,

430
00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:05,119
Speaker 1: you know, as a woman, which is not hard, not easy,

431
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:08,040
Speaker 1: because women always have to be so strong because if

432
00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:11,760
Speaker 1: you show any weakness, then it's like she's emotional, she's hormonal.

433
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:18,320
Speaker 1: Yeah's passionate. Yeah I am passionate. So it's like the

434
00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:21,959
Speaker 1: weakness I've showing that vulnerability. I think it's strong. Oh thanks,

435
00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:24,760
Speaker 1: that's fun. One devoce fit fact, which I think is

436
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:28,359
Speaker 1: just it's just a funny, random thing. It's devout when

437
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:30,040
Speaker 1: I when I make his plate of food, because I

438
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:31,919
Speaker 1: do make his plate of food. Here you go already

439
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:34,000
Speaker 1: know when you're going Devo has to eat all his

440
00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:38,240
Speaker 1: food separately. So DeVos plate is literally like veggies are

441
00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:41,119
Speaker 1: off to the side, starches off to the side, proteins

442
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:43,639
Speaker 1: off for the side, and they can't touch. He's neurotic

443
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:48,240
Speaker 1: and crazy like that. It's not what neurotic. And foods

444
00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:50,600
Speaker 1: have their own taste. Why I gotta put them on them?

445
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:52,120
Speaker 1: Why don't you just put it in the big pot

446
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:55,280
Speaker 1: stirred all. I want to taste my vegetables and my meat,

447
00:23:55,359 --> 00:24:00,800
Speaker 1: pause and my my starts. But sometimes the like meaning

448
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:04,399
Speaker 1: like what's on the fork needs the meat with the

449
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:06,520
Speaker 1: vegetable and the starch, you know what I mean? Like

450
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:10,560
Speaker 1: the perfect edge of that taste is everything. I just

451
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:12,560
Speaker 1: feel like you're missing out on that in life, bro,

452
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:15,040
Speaker 1: if you want to eat all your stuff separately, that

453
00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:17,879
Speaker 1: goes back to you being so detail oriented and picky.

454
00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:21,200
Speaker 1: You gotta give so much pressure to the damn colleg

455
00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:23,159
Speaker 1: greens to make sure they're good on college is better

456
00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:25,480
Speaker 1: be good. If somebody puts some nasty ass collegues in

457
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:26,879
Speaker 1: my player, I want to be able to say these

458
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:29,720
Speaker 1: these colleagues nasty. I don't want to put my colleagues

459
00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:36,200
Speaker 1: on my chicken and my rice, and but this is

460
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:38,240
Speaker 1: my thing, y'all, and we can talk about it right.

461
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:41,320
Speaker 1: This is what wives do. This is what wives do. Right.

462
00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:44,120
Speaker 1: If I don't do something the way she likes it done,

463
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,920
Speaker 1: then I'm crazy and neurotic. I accept the fact that

464
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:49,879
Speaker 1: she likes to mix her food up into a jumbo

465
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:54,000
Speaker 1: and eat it at one time. I embrace ittail gravy

466
00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:56,960
Speaker 1: on the rice, extra gravy. You see what I'm saying.

467
00:24:57,040 --> 00:25:00,320
Speaker 1: With the steam cabbage mixed in. You're not enjoying, aren't there.

468
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:02,440
Speaker 1: You're not enjoying what the chef put together. But you

469
00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:04,960
Speaker 1: know what she'll do. She'll shame me for being a

470
00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:08,280
Speaker 1: food separator. She'll shame me. First of all. You ever

471
00:25:08,359 --> 00:25:10,280
Speaker 1: go out to eat and watch somebody watch you eat

472
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:12,560
Speaker 1: your food? You know how annoying that is. I'm sitting

473
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:14,480
Speaker 1: at my table and it's just quiet, and I'm getting

474
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:17,520
Speaker 1: ready to eat, and I'll look up and she's looking

475
00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:20,560
Speaker 1: at me with her eyes looking at me. Don't ever

476
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:22,080
Speaker 1: go to lunch and dinner with me. Guys, I'm gonna

477
00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:27,320
Speaker 1: watch you eat, and if you chew that, it's an

478
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:30,119
Speaker 1: ultimate wrap. Like I'm going to another table. Stop watching

479
00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:32,359
Speaker 1: people eat. Don't slurp your soup. You have a problem.

480
00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:34,320
Speaker 1: I can't be in the same room when people eating cereal.

481
00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:38,680
Speaker 1: You have a problem. You have a problem, Pet Peeve,

482
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:41,560
Speaker 1: number four thousand two, You have a problem of mine.

483
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:45,400
Speaker 1: Just so ya know, Pet Peeves speaking to Pet Peeves. Um,

484
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:49,919
Speaker 1: this is Cadine's final fact for me. It's a fun one,

485
00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:55,760
Speaker 1: is it? Yes? Okay? Codein is a freak. She doesn't

486
00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:58,720
Speaker 1: like to have sex often. She does not like to

487
00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:00,840
Speaker 1: have sex often because I feel like I have to

488
00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:04,080
Speaker 1: like conserve, conserve all of my energy, my freak for

489
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:06,280
Speaker 1: that one good time. And I could wait like a

490
00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:08,840
Speaker 1: couple of days. But the way you set up you

491
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:12,040
Speaker 1: won't let me live. That don't work for me because listen,

492
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:14,480
Speaker 1: if you're freak right, all that does is make me

493
00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:16,760
Speaker 1: want to freak off more. So, now you don't freak

494
00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:19,200
Speaker 1: me off on Monday. Now it was Tuesday. I wake

495
00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:20,800
Speaker 1: up thinking about the freak of if we have Monday,

496
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:22,560
Speaker 1: I want to freak go off Tuesday. That's just supposed

497
00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:25,480
Speaker 1: to last, you know, like a good couple. That's not

498
00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:28,480
Speaker 1: how men work though, That's not how men work. Like

499
00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:30,879
Speaker 1: my When once you freaked me off, my I'm like,

500
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:33,800
Speaker 1: I'm looking for it. I'm looking for it, and then

501
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:35,840
Speaker 1: I have to scale it back a little bit. I

502
00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:38,280
Speaker 1: was gonna scale it ball. Something that's gonna scale it back.

503
00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:40,760
Speaker 1: Let's than what it's already scaled back. Like like I

504
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:43,800
Speaker 1: need more and anybody got the recipe for me being

505
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:45,320
Speaker 1: able to freak off two days in the row. Let

506
00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:48,240
Speaker 1: me know, because this has become a big thing in

507
00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:50,560
Speaker 1: our house. This has been a big like you made

508
00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:53,120
Speaker 1: something funny, I said to a text last night because

509
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:55,520
Speaker 1: we had sex yesterday and I knew when I came home.

510
00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:57,520
Speaker 1: You know, we had sex two days ago, and I

511
00:26:57,600 --> 00:26:59,360
Speaker 1: knew when I came home last night we wasn't gonna

512
00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:01,840
Speaker 1: have sex. So I was sitting there in the house

513
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:04,080
Speaker 1: and kids all day, and I was preparing for this,

514
00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:05,840
Speaker 1: and you don't have the kids all day. I had

515
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:07,520
Speaker 1: the kid the first part of the day, and then

516
00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:09,119
Speaker 1: your mother came by the second part of the day.

517
00:27:09,119 --> 00:27:11,160
Speaker 1: See this is how women be lying. They always throw

518
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:13,360
Speaker 1: this out. They always throw this out as if they're

519
00:27:13,359 --> 00:27:15,399
Speaker 1: the only ones that have the kids, when they're not

520
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:17,960
Speaker 1: the only I had the kids and the only want me.

521
00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:20,000
Speaker 1: You know how the babies are there, but you weren't

522
00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:22,119
Speaker 1: at the house. You weren't at the house. That was

523
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:23,760
Speaker 1: only for a couple of hours that I'll stop because

524
00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:25,280
Speaker 1: you didn't get home until at the ten, so don't

525
00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:27,000
Speaker 1: even play yourself. The kids will sleep at nine, so

526
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:29,040
Speaker 1: you had an old hour to yourself. Get your freak

527
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:31,359
Speaker 1: level up right. I'll work on that next time. So

528
00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:32,960
Speaker 1: let me tell you what happened. So last night we go,

529
00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:35,080
Speaker 1: we go to bed, and this is what she does

530
00:27:35,119 --> 00:27:36,920
Speaker 1: when she don't want to have sex, right, when she

531
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:38,879
Speaker 1: don't want to have sex, right, when she passed me

532
00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:40,679
Speaker 1: and something, she makes sure she don't touch my dick

533
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:42,840
Speaker 1: at all, like she'll slide by it like it'd be

534
00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:44,520
Speaker 1: like I can't touch it. If I touch it, that

535
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:46,600
Speaker 1: he gonna want to put it on me. So then

536
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:48,720
Speaker 1: she goes to bed, right, and she turns over and

537
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:50,040
Speaker 1: go to sleep. I'm like, you know, i ain't even

538
00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:52,199
Speaker 1: gonna argue with her tonight. I'm gonna just send her

539
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:55,080
Speaker 1: a text my third dream by then. And I didn't

540
00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:58,600
Speaker 1: even know this a long text, like a woman text

541
00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:02,639
Speaker 1: where the texts, so women text, yes, don't do that, yo,

542
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:06,640
Speaker 1: you do that. You know you know women text longer

543
00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:08,440
Speaker 1: than men, and y'all get mad about it all the time.

544
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:10,679
Speaker 1: You'll text me a long text and I'll reply with okay,

545
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:14,600
Speaker 1: and you'll be like going. So I should have replied

546
00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:16,480
Speaker 1: with it okay and kept that same man and even

547
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:19,639
Speaker 1: reply this morning like you didn't see the text. Honestly didn't.

548
00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:21,679
Speaker 1: I wasn't paying attention to that. I was having anxiety.

549
00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:24,040
Speaker 1: I wasn't even paying attention to that the lot. So

550
00:28:24,119 --> 00:28:26,200
Speaker 1: we didn't have sex last night. So I texted a

551
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:28,359
Speaker 1: long text explaining how upset I was that we haven't

552
00:28:28,359 --> 00:28:30,440
Speaker 1: had sex two days in row. Better luck tonight and

553
00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:35,080
Speaker 1: better luck. Le's see how we go. Listen, man, we'll

554
00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:37,159
Speaker 1: see how the rest of this discussion goes. Say that

555
00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:39,840
Speaker 1: you see what I'm saying, You see what I'm saying.

556
00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:42,160
Speaker 1: This is what we go through in our house. These

557
00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:44,400
Speaker 1: are the fact, This is the truth. This is what happens.

558
00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:47,640
Speaker 1: This is stuff you don't see. But it's very real,

559
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:50,760
Speaker 1: very very real. A matter of fact, I might withhold

560
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:52,840
Speaker 1: it from you because you know, in the mood nor

561
00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:56,840
Speaker 1: More suddenly got a headache for my head hurts, I'm

562
00:28:56,840 --> 00:28:59,080
Speaker 1: gonna go over here and recharge, and my head hurt

563
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:02,479
Speaker 1: in a rechard, I got cramps. Don't even go there

564
00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:04,760
Speaker 1: either with that, because you don't know what that you

565
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:08,320
Speaker 1: know what it's like to have these kids my bag. Goodbye.

566
00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:21,800
Speaker 1: This for the record, there it is a win for

567
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:27,280
Speaker 1: the ages. Tiger Woods is one of our most inspiring

568
00:29:27,440 --> 00:29:31,600
Speaker 1: sports icons. In his story, it comes with many chapters.

569
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:36,760
Speaker 1: I am deeply sorry for my irresponsible and selfish behavior,

570
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:44,800
Speaker 1: but here it is the return to glory. This is

571
00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:48,520
Speaker 1: All American, a new series from Stitcher, hosted by me

572
00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:51,600
Speaker 1: Jordan Bell. You realized Tiger Woods doesn't know who he

573
00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:55,240
Speaker 1: is best in the history of Gaul no question in

574
00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:59,480
Speaker 1: my mind. And this season, with the help of journalist

575
00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:04,280
Speaker 1: Albert And we're asking what if the story of Tiger

576
00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:07,880
Speaker 1: Woods that the media has been telling, what if it's

577
00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:13,080
Speaker 1: been completely wrong? All American Tiger is out now listen

578
00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:21,080
Speaker 1: and Stitcher, Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast app. All right,

579
00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:23,560
Speaker 1: now it's time for my favorite part of the show,

580
00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:26,560
Speaker 1: the listener letters. This is the time when you guys

581
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:29,360
Speaker 1: can write in, you can ask for advice. And I

582
00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:31,680
Speaker 1: like this portion because I can give my perspective, but

583
00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:35,960
Speaker 1: I will not proclaim to be an expert. So if

584
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:38,920
Speaker 1: it don't go right, don't blame us, don't come looking

585
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:40,960
Speaker 1: for me in the park a lot. Don't get mad,

586
00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:43,360
Speaker 1: you know, I'm just gonna give you my perspective. Like

587
00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:45,880
Speaker 1: I said, I am not a relationship expert. It's my

588
00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:48,480
Speaker 1: favorite part too, because I'm not another year because I

589
00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:50,640
Speaker 1: like to hear other I want the questions sometimes give

590
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:52,840
Speaker 1: you insight into what the other people are going through.

591
00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:55,960
Speaker 1: So I get to learn sometimes just by listening to

592
00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:57,920
Speaker 1: what the question is. So this is my favorite part.

593
00:30:58,080 --> 00:30:59,840
Speaker 1: That's nice. But I always put the disclaimer out that

594
00:30:59,880 --> 00:31:03,520
Speaker 1: we are not relationship advice experts because I am still

595
00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:05,480
Speaker 1: every day trying to figure out this man next to

596
00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:09,520
Speaker 1: melt all right, and you're struggling. You're struggling, you know.

597
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:11,640
Speaker 1: But I got to figure out a difficult person. I

598
00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:14,280
Speaker 1: got to figure out which your fifteen personalities I'm dealing

599
00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:18,120
Speaker 1: with at the time. So depending on that personality, about

600
00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:21,680
Speaker 1: roughly you got fifteen personalities, each one each one comes

601
00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:26,160
Speaker 1: with a different wig. Yes, don't throw shade at my wig, devo.

602
00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:28,400
Speaker 1: And then there are substances to your personalities when you

603
00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:30,720
Speaker 1: have the hat on with the wig, so there are

604
00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:34,080
Speaker 1: layers to your personality. So you have about eight different personalities.

605
00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:35,560
Speaker 1: Let me tell you, I just call it being very

606
00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:37,880
Speaker 1: resourceful because when I have a wig on, guys. Just

607
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:40,080
Speaker 1: so y'all know if the lace front portion is not

608
00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:43,440
Speaker 1: acting right at that particular time, I went on Amazon

609
00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:48,440
Speaker 1: and I ordered fifteen berets different different color berets I

610
00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:51,640
Speaker 1: have read are just like the whole rainbow. So depending

611
00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:53,160
Speaker 1: on what I'm wearing, Like if I'm wearing a blue

612
00:31:53,400 --> 00:31:56,280
Speaker 1: set of pants, I'll wear the orange beret. Just you know,

613
00:31:56,360 --> 00:31:59,760
Speaker 1: complimentary colors for everybody. Everybody who thinks that it's one

614
00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:02,960
Speaker 1: it's a hat wig combination, it's not. It's not. She

615
00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:05,440
Speaker 1: buys a wig and a hat to go with the wig.

616
00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:09,200
Speaker 1: But I'm able to simultaneously take off the wig and

617
00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:12,200
Speaker 1: the hat in one clean swoop. Yeah. That that right there,

618
00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:14,440
Speaker 1: and I'm able to then think the skill. I can

619
00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:16,440
Speaker 1: think and breathe again after I get the wig off

620
00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:18,479
Speaker 1: my head. Right before we eat crab legs. That's when

621
00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:21,240
Speaker 1: the wig and the hat comes off. Absolutely, I have

622
00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:25,680
Speaker 1: to be comfortable when I eat sidebar. Back to the question.

623
00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:31,440
Speaker 1: Get I'm getting get just thinking about this all right.

624
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:34,440
Speaker 1: So our first question is when you're significant other looks

625
00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:38,400
Speaker 1: at you, what do you think they see or think

626
00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:42,600
Speaker 1: about you? Man, that's that's a that's a very loaded

627
00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:44,720
Speaker 1: question and there's a lot of different nuances to that

628
00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:47,680
Speaker 1: question because a lot of that depends on how you

629
00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:50,240
Speaker 1: feel in the morning as the person like when I

630
00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:51,760
Speaker 1: wake up in the morning, it depends on what my

631
00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:55,320
Speaker 1: confidence is, okay, And then it also depends on the

632
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:59,160
Speaker 1: first face you make when you look at me in

633
00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:04,560
Speaker 1: the morning. So yeah, so that's what I like sometimes. Um,

634
00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:08,120
Speaker 1: But for the most part, when I look at you,

635
00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:10,680
Speaker 1: I know that you look at me, you see a protector,

636
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:14,040
Speaker 1: you see a provider, you see someone that's going to

637
00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:18,120
Speaker 1: make sure that you're okay and taking care of Yes,

638
00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:21,800
Speaker 1: that's for the most part. But then there are days

639
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:24,320
Speaker 1: where I I know you look at me and you

640
00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:26,960
Speaker 1: give me that little squint side I because you're really

641
00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:31,400
Speaker 1: not sure what you're doing here anymore. Because we have

642
00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:33,880
Speaker 1: our days as a married couple where we're just like, bro,

643
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:37,400
Speaker 1: this this this really is not working. And the funny

644
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:39,720
Speaker 1: thing is that I think everyone goes through that. But

645
00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:44,320
Speaker 1: I can tell what what you're thinking sometimes in your

646
00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:47,400
Speaker 1: face or your responses, and you know, I've learned to

647
00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:50,400
Speaker 1: to accept the fact that as I change and as

648
00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:52,520
Speaker 1: you change, you're going to be a lot of days

649
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:55,800
Speaker 1: like that. But as long as the overarching idea is

650
00:33:55,880 --> 00:33:58,320
Speaker 1: that you know that I'm a provider and I'm a protector,

651
00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:01,240
Speaker 1: and then I love you more than anything else. I

652
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:03,440
Speaker 1: think that we're good. So all of the little funny

653
00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:05,160
Speaker 1: you know, the funny looks where he's kinda like I

654
00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:07,560
Speaker 1: don't even know if he is anymore. They're gonna come

655
00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:10,360
Speaker 1: and go, but you're always gonna know I'm going to provide,

656
00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:13,160
Speaker 1: protect and I love you. That is very spot on.

657
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:16,279
Speaker 1: You're trying to get some tonight, right, That's another thing.

658
00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:19,799
Speaker 1: You know, I'm gonna put that thing on you. Yeah,

659
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:21,520
Speaker 1: you know when when you look at me, I know

660
00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:24,120
Speaker 1: you're going yeah, something like that. But I have said

661
00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:27,520
Speaker 1: that before. I feel like you you make me feel

662
00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:30,720
Speaker 1: as if your sole purpose in life is to ensure

663
00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:34,480
Speaker 1: that me and the boys are good all the time.

664
00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:37,960
Speaker 1: Like sound mind, we're good financially, you know, we feel

665
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:40,600
Speaker 1: like we're taken care of. So high five for that

666
00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:44,360
Speaker 1: you're successful in that, and that's my whole purpose right now.

667
00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:50,200
Speaker 1: Asked me the question, so, uh, what do you think

668
00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:54,840
Speaker 1: I see when I look at you? You know, the

669
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:58,360
Speaker 1: first thing that came to mind when I saw this question.

670
00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:00,520
Speaker 1: It kind of made me a little se I'm not

671
00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:04,319
Speaker 1: gonna gonna lie. Um. I feel like sometimes at least

672
00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:08,440
Speaker 1: now you look at me and you wonder, where is

673
00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:12,399
Speaker 1: that girl that I met and knew when we first met,

674
00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:15,480
Speaker 1: you know, And it has a lot to do It

675
00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:17,520
Speaker 1: has a lot to do with I feel like just

676
00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:20,600
Speaker 1: over the years, with you know, kids and with time

677
00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:24,319
Speaker 1: and with responsibilities, a little bit of that girl has

678
00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:26,680
Speaker 1: gotten lost. Um, And it was just kind of like

679
00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:29,680
Speaker 1: the carefree Kadean who was just happy with had at

680
00:35:29,719 --> 00:35:32,399
Speaker 1: that time. And I'm not I'm not, but I feel

681
00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:35,040
Speaker 1: like sometimes you miss that. No, there's no sometimes I

682
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:36,960
Speaker 1: do miss that. Like, if you think about it, that's

683
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:39,520
Speaker 1: how we we met, Like we met each other at

684
00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:42,120
Speaker 1: that moment. That's what makes you fall in love that

685
00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:45,560
Speaker 1: person that you you initially meet. But then it also

686
00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:49,360
Speaker 1: creates in me a little bit of uh inadequacy that

687
00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:51,600
Speaker 1: I feel sometimes, you know, I kind of feel like,

688
00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:55,720
Speaker 1: you know, maybe a little part of you is yearning

689
00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:58,160
Speaker 1: for that person again, that girl who was like, you know,

690
00:35:58,239 --> 00:36:01,120
Speaker 1: the go getter, always going, and you kind of have

691
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:03,840
Speaker 1: to use that too then say, hey, like remotivate me

692
00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:06,560
Speaker 1: all the time if that makes sense. No, it does

693
00:36:06,680 --> 00:36:08,320
Speaker 1: make sense. But I have a follow up question, You

694
00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:11,160
Speaker 1: don't miss that about me? No, because I feel like

695
00:36:11,239 --> 00:36:13,960
Speaker 1: your your ambition and your your work ethic and your

696
00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:19,200
Speaker 1: drive has always been consistent. It has been consistent, and

697
00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:22,080
Speaker 1: I think that's because too you've had to like you've

698
00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:24,319
Speaker 1: never had the easy way into anything that you've done.

699
00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:28,000
Speaker 1: For example, go into Hastra. They weren't like, oh, this

700
00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:29,640
Speaker 1: guy is a great athlete. We're gonna give him a

701
00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:33,560
Speaker 1: full scholarship. You had to walk on to Hastra approve yourself.

702
00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:36,200
Speaker 1: The same thing happened with the NFL. You weren't, you know,

703
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:38,719
Speaker 1: a draft pick. You had to go improve yourself. So

704
00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:41,120
Speaker 1: I think you always having to do that and having

705
00:36:41,239 --> 00:36:44,440
Speaker 1: that insane work ethic is something that I admire and

706
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:46,920
Speaker 1: I'm jealous of. Like I wish I felt like that

707
00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:49,120
Speaker 1: all the time. I get that. So pretty much what

708
00:36:49,239 --> 00:36:51,719
Speaker 1: you're saying is is that you've lost a little bit

709
00:36:51,760 --> 00:36:55,759
Speaker 1: of your spark for in yourself from being that goal getter,

710
00:36:55,920 --> 00:36:57,960
Speaker 1: that nineteen year old that I met. Why do you

711
00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:00,440
Speaker 1: feel like you lost that? I think it's your It's

712
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:03,400
Speaker 1: just everything compounded on top of each other. It's the years,

713
00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:07,160
Speaker 1: it's the work, it's the bills, it's the kids. It's

714
00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:10,439
Speaker 1: just like, sometimes I struggle with who Codeine is again,

715
00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:13,000
Speaker 1: you know, and I feel like sometimes you look at

716
00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:14,400
Speaker 1: me and you're just like where where is she at?

717
00:37:14,719 --> 00:37:16,680
Speaker 1: Like that girl that I wanted to put in the

718
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:22,360
Speaker 1: box right right for a rainy day. Well, you know

719
00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:27,759
Speaker 1: what's funny, though, I will admit that watching you as

720
00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:31,120
Speaker 1: a woman grow has been great because I've seen you

721
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:33,320
Speaker 1: just conquered so many different things. I don't think you

722
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:36,719
Speaker 1: give yourself enough credit for the things you've done, and

723
00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:39,879
Speaker 1: I think that's in part why you find it hard

724
00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:42,480
Speaker 1: to celebrate who you've become. And I think that's in

725
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:45,399
Speaker 1: part why we kind of had this back and forth

726
00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:47,520
Speaker 1: and where you're not excited and happy sometimes about who

727
00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:49,680
Speaker 1: you are. But baby, I love who you are. You're growing.

728
00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:53,840
Speaker 1: I do miss that little girl sometimes, but I can't

729
00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:56,160
Speaker 1: say that I'm not in love with the person you

730
00:37:56,239 --> 00:37:57,920
Speaker 1: are now. You know what I'm saying. I'm also in

731
00:37:58,000 --> 00:37:59,719
Speaker 1: love with the person you are now. And he's in

732
00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:02,759
Speaker 1: love with this extra about pounds that I've put on

733
00:38:02,920 --> 00:38:08,200
Speaker 1: since I you know, he sees the mother of his

734
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:13,800
Speaker 1: sons like I gave you three whole boys, and that

735
00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:16,479
Speaker 1: a little extra babywait has fallen into the right place.

736
00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:20,400
Speaker 1: So you know when my significant you got you got

737
00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:24,160
Speaker 1: to give yourself credit. Alight, all right, give yourself down,

738
00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:28,759
Speaker 1: double up, thank you, thank you. Right, let's go to

739
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:32,120
Speaker 1: the next question. One question being married, do you feel

740
00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:35,919
Speaker 1: obligated to have sex every time y'all get in bed? Yep,

741
00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:40,920
Speaker 1: but it don't happen. It don't happen. Let me tell you. Okay,

742
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:46,040
Speaker 1: I feel the obligation, but it just don't happen. I can't.

743
00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:50,200
Speaker 1: I can't like who And that's another thing. Cadine Drive

744
00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:54,759
Speaker 1: at eighteen and nineteen is not here. We are a

745
00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:58,040
Speaker 1: decade and change later. Okay, it's just not And it's

746
00:38:58,080 --> 00:39:00,400
Speaker 1: like you're throwing throw into it all the actors of

747
00:39:00,560 --> 00:39:03,520
Speaker 1: just like not even just the Drive, but it's like

748
00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:05,840
Speaker 1: all the ship that we got going on. Like I

749
00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:08,359
Speaker 1: sometimes that should don't stop me from what I want

750
00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:10,560
Speaker 1: to go to sleep? That do not stop me. Do

751
00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:12,839
Speaker 1: you remember that one time you were like deathly ill?

752
00:39:12,960 --> 00:39:15,120
Speaker 1: Devo had a fever that was like a hundred and

753
00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:18,160
Speaker 1: three point yes, and he was so sick, and all

754
00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:20,799
Speaker 1: I can think to myself that night was like, how

755
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:23,239
Speaker 1: dona give me a free night? He's not gonna be

756
00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:25,400
Speaker 1: looking at me like okay, so we're gonna get it in.

757
00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:29,399
Speaker 1: And I was so excited until devout and his hot

758
00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:32,120
Speaker 1: asked body, because I remember your body was so hot,

759
00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:38,520
Speaker 1: rolled over everything else in his body was dead except

760
00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:40,960
Speaker 1: for you know what. I was like, there is absolutely

761
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:42,400
Speaker 1: no way that you want to do this right now.

762
00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:44,960
Speaker 1: Imagine what that would have felt like. Though it's heated,

763
00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:50,680
Speaker 1: it's heated, it feels good, added sensation. I was like,

764
00:39:51,160 --> 00:39:54,000
Speaker 1: a reason why, there's a reason why the Lord makes

765
00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:57,799
Speaker 1: that still work. Literally, I was floored by that. I said,

766
00:39:57,840 --> 00:40:02,120
Speaker 1: there's no way this man on his almost deathbed wants

767
00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:05,160
Speaker 1: to have sex right now, because how is that possible?

768
00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:07,000
Speaker 1: I literally think it has a mind of its own,

769
00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:09,080
Speaker 1: Like it's not having a mind to see what You

770
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:12,160
Speaker 1: don't understand the power you have. You could have cured me.

771
00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:14,680
Speaker 1: I couldn't. You could have cured me by giving me something.

772
00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:17,240
Speaker 1: That's why it still works. Gave his as a thorough

773
00:40:17,320 --> 00:40:19,759
Speaker 1: flu a night quill. Drop him up, and I was like,

774
00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:21,560
Speaker 1: go to bed. I was pissed. Go to bed, let

775
00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:23,719
Speaker 1: me sleep in peace. I was pissed, But you know

776
00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:27,160
Speaker 1: it's it's it's funny because as like, like what she said.

777
00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:29,600
Speaker 1: Even though we're joking a lot, we do have these

778
00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:32,440
Speaker 1: these talks and these issues. You know, our sex drives

779
00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:35,520
Speaker 1: don't always match, and for the most part right now,

780
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:40,760
Speaker 1: yes they don't. They don't ever match. And this has become,

781
00:40:41,440 --> 00:40:44,000
Speaker 1: you know, a topic of contention in our home because

782
00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:45,400
Speaker 1: me as a man, want to know, like, well, what

783
00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:47,560
Speaker 1: do you expect me to do? You want me to

784
00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:50,200
Speaker 1: be monogamous, You want me to come home and love

785
00:40:50,239 --> 00:40:52,239
Speaker 1: on you and be romantic and do all these things.

786
00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:54,239
Speaker 1: But how am I supposed to do all these things

787
00:40:54,239 --> 00:40:56,120
Speaker 1: if I'm not getting what I need as well? I know,

788
00:40:56,239 --> 00:40:57,759
Speaker 1: but you need it like every day to week? Can

789
00:40:57,840 --> 00:41:01,080
Speaker 1: we like come to a happy medium? Sign? Stop stop

790
00:41:01,239 --> 00:41:05,000
Speaker 1: lying and making it seem like like, Okay, here's the truth,

791
00:41:05,160 --> 00:41:07,960
Speaker 1: right If I don't get it, we've already we started

792
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:11,520
Speaker 1: to bargain. Okay, she can't do it every day. The

793
00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:15,920
Speaker 1: female body cannot take that type of interaction. Every day.

794
00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:19,640
Speaker 1: Things happen, all right, So we go every other day, right,

795
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:22,360
Speaker 1: But if two and three days go in between that

796
00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:25,040
Speaker 1: every other day, I'm gonna being a bad movie. Don't

797
00:41:25,239 --> 00:41:28,919
Speaker 1: don't ask me for no hugs, you know, And don't

798
00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:30,640
Speaker 1: and then don't act like you don't know what it is,

799
00:41:30,680 --> 00:41:35,080
Speaker 1: because you'll be knowing what it is. She just gets

800
00:41:35,120 --> 00:41:37,080
Speaker 1: tired of having the same discussions over and over again,

801
00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:38,480
Speaker 1: and I'm just like, I know what it is, so

802
00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:40,560
Speaker 1: I know i'mnn have to turn up tonight. But we

803
00:41:40,680 --> 00:41:43,280
Speaker 1: need to find we need to find some middle ground.

804
00:41:44,080 --> 00:41:47,600
Speaker 1: Because I'm speaking for all the men here. Men turn

805
00:41:47,719 --> 00:41:52,360
Speaker 1: up your radios. It is unfair for you, as a

806
00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:56,800
Speaker 1: wife to ask me to have sex. When do you

807
00:41:56,880 --> 00:41:59,000
Speaker 1: want to have sex? Only when you want to have sex?

808
00:41:59,239 --> 00:42:01,359
Speaker 1: How you want to have sex and only have sex

809
00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:04,879
Speaker 1: with you and be happy about it. That's like, that's

810
00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:09,320
Speaker 1: where that's my point. Where is the compromise? If I

811
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:11,040
Speaker 1: got to do all that and I got to be happy?

812
00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:13,080
Speaker 1: So I got ya. I'm just trying to smile right now,

813
00:42:13,480 --> 00:42:15,200
Speaker 1: like I got to smile. She wants me to walk

814
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:18,960
Speaker 1: him smiling. Y'all hear the smile. So she wants me

815
00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:20,960
Speaker 1: to walk in the house, horny. We ain't have sex

816
00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:22,719
Speaker 1: in three or four days, and when we have sex,

817
00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:24,400
Speaker 1: you gotta have sex how she want to have it.

818
00:42:24,560 --> 00:42:27,600
Speaker 1: And I'm supposed to be like, hey, hey, you can't

819
00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:30,240
Speaker 1: expect me to do that. Absolutely, I'm gonna be grumpy.

820
00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:32,480
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be to understand my plight and know that

821
00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:34,080
Speaker 1: I was dealing with the kids all day, and I

822
00:42:34,239 --> 00:42:36,480
Speaker 1: was working all day and all that good stuff. Oh yeah,

823
00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:38,200
Speaker 1: I don't ever deal with the kids. I don't ever

824
00:42:38,320 --> 00:42:40,839
Speaker 1: work right. I'll just be walking around the world free

825
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:44,560
Speaker 1: all day. Sometimes women be full of ship. I'm telling you,

826
00:42:45,160 --> 00:42:47,200
Speaker 1: we're gonna cap this discussion for a whole another peut.

827
00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:51,000
Speaker 1: Now we're capping. Now cap this is exactly what she doing,

828
00:42:54,080 --> 00:42:57,280
Speaker 1: capping the booty because you're trying to tap the booty.

829
00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:02,440
Speaker 1: But let's tap this for a whole another whole, another episode.

830
00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:04,520
Speaker 1: Let me gather my thoughts because you're not about to

831
00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:08,040
Speaker 1: attack me. I'm not attacking, attacking the truth. Just sure

832
00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:13,120
Speaker 1: that's de vous truth though that's the only truth I'm

833
00:43:13,120 --> 00:43:15,279
Speaker 1: concerned about, you know, because you always think you're right.

834
00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:18,520
Speaker 1: Like I said before, guys see or the Highway, I

835
00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:22,600
Speaker 1: know him right whatever? Anyway, Um, any advice for couples

836
00:43:22,640 --> 00:43:28,239
Speaker 1: with different culture American and Caribbean. But this is something

837
00:43:28,320 --> 00:43:32,080
Speaker 1: we had to deal with directly because there were some

838
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:36,200
Speaker 1: some issues of us not understanding each other's culture on

839
00:43:36,320 --> 00:43:39,879
Speaker 1: a very serious level. You know, let's just throw out

840
00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:43,279
Speaker 1: the food thing. Um, the religion thing because her her

841
00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:45,600
Speaker 1: mom and dad sell them their seven day eventus. So

842
00:43:45,960 --> 00:43:48,760
Speaker 1: I was raised seven, so they went to church on Saturday.

843
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:50,880
Speaker 1: I grew up Baptist. We go to church on Sunday.

844
00:43:51,239 --> 00:43:53,800
Speaker 1: For me, those are the easy issues to deal with,

845
00:43:54,320 --> 00:43:56,279
Speaker 1: you know, like we weren't even concerned about that. Some

846
00:43:56,480 --> 00:43:59,520
Speaker 1: of the issues that we struggled with was the social

847
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:05,840
Speaker 1: economic issues that Caribbean and American blacks go through, and

848
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:07,960
Speaker 1: that a little bit of that clash they have, not

849
00:44:08,200 --> 00:44:11,000
Speaker 1: understanding each other's history. Yeah, I think there's definitely a

850
00:44:11,080 --> 00:44:16,960
Speaker 1: little bit of m contention between American blacks and Caribbean Absolutely.

851
00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:19,840
Speaker 1: Um my parents are My mom is from Jamaica, my

852
00:44:19,960 --> 00:44:23,600
Speaker 1: dad is from St. Vincent Um, And I think that,

853
00:44:24,320 --> 00:44:25,800
Speaker 1: you know, they might I didn't think. I know that

854
00:44:25,880 --> 00:44:28,560
Speaker 1: they migrated to New York looking for a better opportunity.

855
00:44:28,920 --> 00:44:30,640
Speaker 1: You know, that's the thing you're back home, you have

856
00:44:30,719 --> 00:44:32,719
Speaker 1: your family. My mom was the oldest of six. She

857
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:34,919
Speaker 1: is the oldest of six, I should say. My father,

858
00:44:35,239 --> 00:44:37,279
Speaker 1: um also too, was one of the older sons in

859
00:44:37,320 --> 00:44:39,600
Speaker 1: the family. So they came up here looking for a

860
00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:41,680
Speaker 1: way to make money so they can send money back

861
00:44:41,719 --> 00:44:43,520
Speaker 1: home to send for the kids and bring them up,

862
00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:46,120
Speaker 1: and just looking for more opportunity out here in America.

863
00:44:46,239 --> 00:44:49,400
Speaker 1: And they came and they worked. Like both of my parents,

864
00:44:49,719 --> 00:44:51,759
Speaker 1: you know, we're pounding the pavement. My mom started with

865
00:44:51,840 --> 00:44:54,000
Speaker 1: her first job at Burger King, you know, while she

866
00:44:54,080 --> 00:44:56,040
Speaker 1: was going to nursing school. My dad was in the

867
00:44:56,120 --> 00:44:58,640
Speaker 1: hospital working as a as a lab tech um. So

868
00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:01,279
Speaker 1: you know, they definitely both were trying to just find

869
00:45:01,320 --> 00:45:03,440
Speaker 1: a way to make money by any means necessary. And

870
00:45:03,480 --> 00:45:06,600
Speaker 1: I think a lot of um West Indians, Um, I

871
00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:11,080
Speaker 1: don't always say Caribbeans, but West Indians definitely come taking

872
00:45:11,080 --> 00:45:14,960
Speaker 1: any job possible, by any means necessary, being able to

873
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:18,600
Speaker 1: make money to support themselves into advance. And I think

874
00:45:19,280 --> 00:45:22,320
Speaker 1: and I can respect that, but but there the issue

875
00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:25,000
Speaker 1: comes with Black Americans who have been in you know who,

876
00:45:25,080 --> 00:45:27,759
Speaker 1: who have you grown in this country from generations. The

877
00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:31,359
Speaker 1: issue comes with the lack of respect for the fight

878
00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:34,960
Speaker 1: that black Americans had to go through to even get

879
00:45:35,040 --> 00:45:38,120
Speaker 1: those opportunities for Caribbean Americans to come over here. And

880
00:45:38,280 --> 00:45:40,120
Speaker 1: and part of the reason why there's an issue is

881
00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:43,000
Speaker 1: because in our school systems in America, they do not

882
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:47,680
Speaker 1: teach Black American history. So I know they're not teaching

883
00:45:47,800 --> 00:45:51,000
Speaker 1: Black American history in the Caribbeans, so in the Caribbean,

884
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:53,719
Speaker 1: in the Caribbean or West Indies. So when they come

885
00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:55,879
Speaker 1: over here and you hear them use terms like black

886
00:45:55,880 --> 00:46:00,239
Speaker 1: Americans are lazy because we refuse to take job jobs

887
00:46:00,280 --> 00:46:03,719
Speaker 1: that that we've been doing in this country for free

888
00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:06,919
Speaker 1: for years, it causes an issue for Black Americans because

889
00:46:06,920 --> 00:46:08,960
Speaker 1: it's like, Yo, you're not gonna call me lazy when

890
00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:11,920
Speaker 1: my people fought for the rights that you have now

891
00:46:12,719 --> 00:46:14,880
Speaker 1: in this country. And I think that's where the issue

892
00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:17,200
Speaker 1: called definitely, because there's been times when me and her

893
00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:20,480
Speaker 1: dad have gotten into arguments in the home, in her

894
00:46:20,560 --> 00:46:23,520
Speaker 1: home about what black people in the Americans are willing

895
00:46:23,560 --> 00:46:27,320
Speaker 1: to do as opposed to black West Indians. And realistically

896
00:46:27,400 --> 00:46:30,200
Speaker 1: it was just a lack of knowledge on on both parts,

897
00:46:30,320 --> 00:46:33,080
Speaker 1: because there's a lot of Black Americans who don't understand

898
00:46:33,120 --> 00:46:37,200
Speaker 1: the struggles in Caribbean culture and they just feel like, oh,

899
00:46:37,719 --> 00:46:40,200
Speaker 1: you live in the Bahamas, it's nice there. You know,

900
00:46:40,239 --> 00:46:42,239
Speaker 1: they don't understand that you're coming from almost a third

901
00:46:42,280 --> 00:46:44,359
Speaker 1: world country and you're willing to do whatever to get

902
00:46:44,400 --> 00:46:47,040
Speaker 1: that money. To go back. So, and let's be real,

903
00:46:47,120 --> 00:46:50,800
Speaker 1: we all came from Africa and we were dispersed throughout

904
00:46:51,040 --> 00:46:53,320
Speaker 1: the West Indies. We were dispersed about, you know, the

905
00:46:53,400 --> 00:46:56,680
Speaker 1: America's so we all pretty much have the same struggle.

906
00:46:59,520 --> 00:47:03,399
Speaker 1: Been this franchise for hundreds of years and we're all

907
00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:06,080
Speaker 1: seeking that, you know, that ability to be able to

908
00:47:06,200 --> 00:47:10,759
Speaker 1: just provide and thrive in the world. So I will

909
00:47:10,800 --> 00:47:13,399
Speaker 1: say this any advice, make sure that you guys sit

910
00:47:13,440 --> 00:47:16,360
Speaker 1: down as families and talk about the history of your culture.

911
00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:19,600
Speaker 1: Be transparent about how you feel, but make sure someone

912
00:47:19,719 --> 00:47:22,520
Speaker 1: is willing to educate the other and open to listen

913
00:47:22,600 --> 00:47:24,560
Speaker 1: so you can learn about the others culture. I think

914
00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:27,279
Speaker 1: that was very well said. Absolutely, because there's so much

915
00:47:27,320 --> 00:47:30,200
Speaker 1: beauty in the culture. Yes, there is so much beauty

916
00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:33,840
Speaker 1: between the Black American experience. There's beauty with all of

917
00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:37,480
Speaker 1: the islands in the West Indies. So yeah, embrace that,

918
00:47:37,760 --> 00:47:39,680
Speaker 1: embrace that we should really be supporting each other through

919
00:47:39,680 --> 00:47:42,319
Speaker 1: it all. So, you know, first of all, we want

920
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:43,800
Speaker 1: to thank you guys because this has become like a

921
00:47:43,880 --> 00:47:46,600
Speaker 1: therapy session for us. So if you've got any questions,

922
00:47:46,680 --> 00:47:49,520
Speaker 1: please email it to us too. Dead ass Advice at gmail.

923
00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:52,320
Speaker 1: Dot com. That's D E A D A S S

924
00:47:52,440 --> 00:47:56,000
Speaker 1: A D V I C E at gmail dot com.

925
00:47:56,320 --> 00:48:00,520
Speaker 1: Thank you, guys. We appreciate to look forward to those questions. Yes, definitely,

926
00:48:01,320 --> 00:48:08,319
Speaker 1: all right, the moment of truth. You've always hashtagged your

927
00:48:09,320 --> 00:48:11,800
Speaker 1: devource truth on here or your videos and your futures

928
00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:14,320
Speaker 1: and stuff like that. I would say my moment of

929
00:48:14,400 --> 00:48:16,600
Speaker 1: truth or the moment of truth for me today would

930
00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:19,560
Speaker 1: be do whatever you want to do in life, whatever

931
00:48:19,680 --> 00:48:22,080
Speaker 1: you whoever you want to do it with, and enjoy

932
00:48:22,160 --> 00:48:24,400
Speaker 1: it like you just got to enjoy every minute of it.

933
00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:26,879
Speaker 1: You get one life to live and you have to enjoy.

934
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:29,120
Speaker 1: On top of that, you gotta learn to listen to

935
00:48:29,200 --> 00:48:31,279
Speaker 1: the people closest to you and to be able to

936
00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:36,680
Speaker 1: give and take constructive criticism without being offended or feeling

937
00:48:36,719 --> 00:48:41,560
Speaker 1: insulted or being offensive or insulting people. You know what

938
00:48:41,600 --> 00:48:44,879
Speaker 1: I'm saying, Like, know what I'm saying is that's that's

939
00:48:45,239 --> 00:48:47,160
Speaker 1: the moment of truth. If you can learn in all

940
00:48:47,239 --> 00:48:52,400
Speaker 1: your relationships, not just marriage, brother, co worker, you know, friends,

941
00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:56,000
Speaker 1: if you can learn how to take constructive criticism and

942
00:48:56,160 --> 00:48:59,320
Speaker 1: not be insulted or offended and give it without insulting

943
00:48:59,640 --> 00:49:02,560
Speaker 1: your relationships can grow because the only way you can

944
00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:05,439
Speaker 1: grow in a relationship and learn is through dialogue. It's true.

945
00:49:05,719 --> 00:49:09,080
Speaker 1: And I think they want the truth, but then I

946
00:49:09,200 --> 00:49:14,440
Speaker 1: can't really digest the truth, so it's hard. I mean,

947
00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:16,399
Speaker 1: I think people don't want the truth. I think people

948
00:49:16,440 --> 00:49:18,080
Speaker 1: want to hear what they what they want to hear

949
00:49:18,760 --> 00:49:21,160
Speaker 1: and take it as because they get offended if it's

950
00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:23,719
Speaker 1: not right. Okay, gotcha, Well, I mean that takes me

951
00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:25,560
Speaker 1: to mom a wer truth. I think, um, thinking about

952
00:49:25,560 --> 00:49:28,839
Speaker 1: everything we spoke about today, I think about how much

953
00:49:28,960 --> 00:49:32,160
Speaker 1: transparency can get you a long way, um, and in

954
00:49:32,280 --> 00:49:34,600
Speaker 1: those relationships. So like you and I being very transparent,

955
00:49:34,719 --> 00:49:37,279
Speaker 1: or just me learning to be more transparent, like with

956
00:49:37,400 --> 00:49:39,960
Speaker 1: my my family and my parents and stuff, because transparency

957
00:49:40,080 --> 00:49:43,440
Speaker 1: was something that was not really encouraged in my household.

958
00:49:43,520 --> 00:49:45,160
Speaker 1: It was like, you know, you don't talk your business,

959
00:49:45,560 --> 00:49:47,759
Speaker 1: you don't talk about things. They kind of blow over

960
00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:49,680
Speaker 1: on their own, which they never do. They tend to fester.

961
00:49:50,160 --> 00:49:52,120
Speaker 1: So transparency get your long way. I mean it's not

962
00:49:52,200 --> 00:49:56,680
Speaker 1: just transparentcy transparency with your significant other, your family or friends,

963
00:49:56,719 --> 00:49:59,359
Speaker 1: but being transparent with yourself. Like a lot of self

964
00:49:59,400 --> 00:50:03,200
Speaker 1: reflection today. You know what's what's going on in Codein's

965
00:50:03,360 --> 00:50:05,759
Speaker 1: life that she needs to fix. You know what I mean,

966
00:50:05,840 --> 00:50:08,920
Speaker 1: Codin fix your life. You don't need yanla Um, but

967
00:50:09,120 --> 00:50:10,919
Speaker 1: you know if no, but it helps to have someone

968
00:50:10,920 --> 00:50:13,160
Speaker 1: who really cares about you in the process, you know

969
00:50:13,200 --> 00:50:15,919
Speaker 1: what I mean, and someone who's as invested in your goals,

970
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:19,440
Speaker 1: if not more, to help you along that way, you know, um,

971
00:50:20,280 --> 00:50:22,600
Speaker 1: And yes, stop caring what people think so much. I

972
00:50:22,680 --> 00:50:24,520
Speaker 1: think a lot of the reason why we're able to

973
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:27,000
Speaker 1: be in the position that we're in now, having had

974
00:50:27,040 --> 00:50:29,640
Speaker 1: the social media sitcom or having the social media presence,

975
00:50:30,040 --> 00:50:32,840
Speaker 1: it's because we ultimately are doing what we want to

976
00:50:32,880 --> 00:50:35,800
Speaker 1: do and we haven't cared about what people said about

977
00:50:35,920 --> 00:50:38,320
Speaker 1: us since we were eighteen. Because in the time we

978
00:50:38,400 --> 00:50:40,239
Speaker 1: got together, when I was a freshman in college, all

979
00:50:40,280 --> 00:50:43,279
Speaker 1: we kept hearing was y'all ain't gonna last. Oh, you

980
00:50:43,360 --> 00:50:46,359
Speaker 1: got a girlfriend coming into college. We'll see how that goes.

981
00:50:46,520 --> 00:50:49,440
Speaker 1: Oh you got a girlfriend going into the NFL. Oh

982
00:50:49,560 --> 00:50:52,520
Speaker 1: we'll see how that goes. Oh you your wife doing

983
00:50:52,600 --> 00:50:55,879
Speaker 1: social media? That ain't gonna last. Was like, That's why

984
00:50:55,920 --> 00:50:58,000
Speaker 1: I said, do what you want with the people in

985
00:50:58,120 --> 00:51:00,640
Speaker 1: your life and enjoy it and do not listen to

986
00:51:00,680 --> 00:51:02,680
Speaker 1: nobody else. I mean, because if we did listen to

987
00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:05,160
Speaker 1: everybody else, we probably wouldn't be here in the space

988
00:51:05,200 --> 00:51:08,480
Speaker 1: that they're talking to y'all dead ass. Alright, guys, be

989
00:51:08,560 --> 00:51:11,240
Speaker 1: sure to follow us on social media. I am Devout

990
00:51:11,560 --> 00:51:14,440
Speaker 1: and that's Cadeen. I am for me kg A D

991
00:51:14,880 --> 00:51:17,319
Speaker 1: and I am not Condemium, but I mean, hey, I'll

992
00:51:17,360 --> 00:51:20,400
Speaker 1: take it either way. And if you're listening on Apple podcasts,

993
00:51:20,920 --> 00:51:25,000
Speaker 1: be sure to rate, review and subscribe and spread the

994
00:51:25,120 --> 00:51:29,880
Speaker 1: lovely way. Baby. It's New York Way, It's cade and

995
00:51:29,960 --> 00:51:37,200
Speaker 1: DeVos Way. Dead as dead Ass is a production of Stitcher.

996
00:51:37,320 --> 00:51:41,000
Speaker 1: It's produced by T Square, Stephanie Karauke and Dinor Opinion.

997
00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:43,719
Speaker 1: Our executive producer is Chris Bannon, and we'd like to

998
00:51:43,719 --> 00:51:46,960
Speaker 1: give a special thanks to our recording engineer, Jared O'Connell,

999
00:51:47,239 --> 00:51:51,560
Speaker 1: our sound designer Brendan Burns, and studio manager Ashley Warren.

1000
00:52:00,239 --> 00:52:03,480
Speaker 1: H We'll back. I'm Drew McCarry and I'm David Roth.

1001
00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:05,560
Speaker 1: We have a podcast going on right now as part

1002
00:52:05,560 --> 00:52:08,520
Speaker 1: of the Stitchen every We're called Substraction that's available every

1003
00:52:08,520 --> 00:52:12,759
Speaker 1: we get a podcast at Stitcher, Spotify, Apple, Go listen

1004
00:52:12,880 --> 00:52:15,040
Speaker 1: right now. To the distraction. Right now, it's out do

1005
00:52:15,160 --> 00:52:15,600
Speaker 1: it least