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Speaker 1: Hello, everyone, it's your big sister Cheeky's and you've reached

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Speaker 1: my personal voicemailbox for the Dear Cheekys podcast. I'm here

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Speaker 1: to give you a device on anything and everything you

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Speaker 1: need help with. Whether you're going through a breakup or

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Speaker 1: having issues with your family, or maybe you have a

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Speaker 1: question about my personal life. Whatever the case is, I

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Speaker 1: want to hear from you. Remember these are my thoughts

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Speaker 1: in my opinions, and if you're suffering from a serious

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Speaker 1: issue or hardship, you should seek help from a qualified professional.

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Speaker 1: All right, now, go ahead and leave your message at

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Speaker 1: the sound of the beeB.

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Speaker 2: Hi, Janee, it's Alyssa. Bravo, Alissa. I was calling today

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Speaker 2: with a question that I was thinking of while driving

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Speaker 2: and listening to your mom's music. I'm curious if you

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Speaker 2: can share with us what, if any vocal training that

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Speaker 2: she had during her career and the reason I ask

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Speaker 2: this I work for Santa Fe Opera and I often

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Speaker 2: enjoy listening to artists. I'm such a huge fan of

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Speaker 2: your mother's and your music, and it's so interesting to

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Speaker 2: me to analyze the technique that each singer is using,

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Speaker 2: how they are using their instrument. But when I listen

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Speaker 2: to your mom, it sounds like she never had training,

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Speaker 2: and I mean that in the best way possible to me.

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Speaker 2: Her voice reminds me of the same way of fish

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Speaker 2: never has been taught how to swim. They just do it.

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Speaker 2: It's instinctual, it's natural. I feel like that was your

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Speaker 2: mom with her voice, and I find that fascinating because

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Speaker 2: when I analyze her technique, mostly she likes to live

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Speaker 2: in belt, which is so unusual, but she has such

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Speaker 2: a mix, and mix is one of those weaker points

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Speaker 2: for myself and my technique. So I love to sing

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Speaker 2: her music and your music to push myself into mix

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Speaker 2: more often. I know you know what I'm talking about,

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Speaker 2: So do share with us if you can. What training

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Speaker 2: did she have? And what about yourself?

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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, Melissa, I love your voice. You should

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Speaker 1: have a podcast. Your voice is just so soothing and

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Speaker 1: just like totally calm me down. I love that we

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Speaker 1: started with your question. You neiled it. My mom did

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Speaker 1: not have training. I think it just I mean, my

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Speaker 1: grandpa sings my grandmother saying, so it was in her blood. Oh,

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Speaker 1: it's still in her blood. She's still here with us anyway,

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Speaker 1: And yeah, I would always ask her. I mean, I

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Speaker 1: think once she had told me a story and I

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Speaker 1: don't remember the details, but I remember her saying something

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Speaker 1: about someone suggested for her to have a vocal coach

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Speaker 1: in the studio with her, and she said, Okay, I'm

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Speaker 1: going to try it. And she tried it and she

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Speaker 1: hated it. We have a very good ear, a musical ear,

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Speaker 1: so I'm very good with going into the booth and

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Speaker 1: singing and then coming out and be like, Okay, this

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Speaker 1: doesn't sound right this note, like I see the notes.

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Speaker 1: It's hard for me to explain, because again, I didn't

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Speaker 1: go to any type of school to learn music either.

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Speaker 1: I had to learn the hard way because of course,

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Speaker 1: when I started singing, I did not sing obviously like

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Speaker 1: the way my mom sings now, But neither did she.

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Speaker 1: I think it was just the school of being on

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Speaker 1: stage and practicing and listening to other artists. She would

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Speaker 1: always listen to other artists the way you're doing as well.

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Speaker 1: Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston was one of her favorites. So

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Speaker 1: those are her biggest influences. So she would listen to

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Speaker 1: them in the car and try to mimic and again

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Speaker 1: belt because she loved You're right. She loved belting and

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Speaker 1: the control that she has in her voice and the

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Speaker 1: vibrato is just insane. But it wasn't always like that.

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Speaker 1: It took her years to get to that point. I

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Speaker 1: think it was just practice makes perfect, that's what they say.

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Speaker 1: But she did not have any vocal training at all.

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Speaker 1: And it's crazy because she didn't even use in ears.

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Speaker 1: Now we know about in ears and the importance of

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Speaker 1: taking care of our ears in order for our voice

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Speaker 1: to also be healthy for a longer period of time,

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Speaker 1: you know, But she just did floor monitors, and it's crazy.

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Speaker 1: I think that's why. Also, she was able to belt

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Speaker 1: the way she did, especially live, because when you have

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Speaker 1: the in ears, it feels too close and you kind

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Speaker 1: of limit yourself. My mom didn't have that, so she

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Speaker 1: just freaking let it all out. And as for me,

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Speaker 1: in the beginning of my career, I did have a

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Speaker 1: vocal coach. I started off, and every time I listened

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Speaker 1: to that song, the very first song I released by

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Speaker 1: Looma Branca, I am like, ooh, okay, now I know

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Speaker 1: why people talk so much crap. But I did go

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Speaker 1: ahead and get a vocal a vocal coach and I've

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Speaker 1: had maybe three in my career, and I've taken a

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Speaker 1: little break, so I come in and out of vocal training.

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Speaker 1: But I really feel that what's helped me the most

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Speaker 1: is just being on stage and exercising that muscle and

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Speaker 1: singing as much as possible, like not forgetting, you know,

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Speaker 1: because it's a muscle, so you have to train it.

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Speaker 1: So like singing as much as I can every day,

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Speaker 1: doing my vocal warm up to my vocal exercises have

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Speaker 1: helped me. And the person that helps me in the

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Speaker 1: booth as far as like I guess, being my vocal

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Speaker 1: coach in the studio is my manager. And that's not

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Speaker 1: even like his profession. He's just you know, he's my manager,

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Speaker 1: but he knows so much about music and he knows

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Speaker 1: how to speak to me because again, I'm very visual,

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Speaker 1: so I see the notes and then once you show

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Speaker 1: me how you want it, then I you know, it

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Speaker 1: just happens. I'm a sponge in that way. But thank you.

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Speaker 1: I love that you asked this question. I love talking

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Speaker 1: about music and all this stuff and oh my goodness, opera.

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Speaker 1: I feel like I was an opera singer in one

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Speaker 1: of my past lives where to you, and I just

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Speaker 1: still have it, like unlocked it in this life. But

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Speaker 1: I really feel that I love opera. It's so beautiful.

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Speaker 1: You have a beautiful voice. Oh my goodness. But hopefully

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Speaker 1: I was able to answer your question and thank you

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Speaker 1: for leaving your question, and I appreciate it. All right, guys,

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Speaker 1: so let's move on to Lily Hi Jiki's.

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Speaker 3: I first of all want to say thank you so

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Speaker 3: much for hearing the community out and always helping them

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Speaker 3: and being so positive and always motivating. But my question

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Speaker 3: to you are more of an advice. How would you

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Speaker 3: deal with knowing that your father is gay or bisexual.

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Speaker 3: I'm still trying to cope with it, and I don't

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Speaker 3: know how to feel about it, and I've gone and

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Speaker 3: talked to several people, but I don't like their response,

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Speaker 3: I guess, and I just want to ask you, how

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Speaker 3: would you deal with it? It was my dad's little girl,

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Speaker 3: and I know that probably doesn't change, but I'm still

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Speaker 3: having a very hard time, and the rest of my

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Speaker 3: family too, and I think it's bugging me warm because

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Speaker 3: he hasn't really came out. But that's my question.

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Speaker 1: Okay, okay, okay, So he hasn't come out yet, Hi, Lily. Sorry.

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Speaker 1: I was sending to your voice, don't and I was thinking,

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Speaker 1: okay for me, that changes things a little bit. If

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Speaker 1: he hasn't come out and it's a secret, then that's

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Speaker 1: why it's bothering you so much. I think if he

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Speaker 1: came forward and said, hey, this is what's happening and

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Speaker 1: this is who I am, then I think you all

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Speaker 1: would have a better It would be easier to accept it.

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Speaker 1: It is tough. I mean, that's your dad, you know.

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Speaker 1: But also when you love someone, you accept them just

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Speaker 1: the way that they are, you know. And there's nothing

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Speaker 1: wrong in my opinion, for someone being gay or bisexual

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Speaker 1: and realizing or accepting that a little bit later in

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Speaker 1: their life. But if he hasn't accepted it out loud

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Speaker 1: and he's keeping it a secret, that's what I'm not

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Speaker 1: okay with. I think you should straight up have a

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Speaker 1: conversation with him. It's going to be uncomfortable, of course,

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Speaker 1: but if you have proof or details as to why

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Speaker 1: you know that he's bisexual, then I think you should

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Speaker 1: just say, hey, Dodd, I want to talk to you

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Speaker 1: straight up, like is this true. I'm not going to

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Speaker 1: see you any differently. I might feel a little weird

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Speaker 1: at first, but I think you need to be honest

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Speaker 1: with me in order for us to start developing this

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Speaker 1: relationship on truth, because you're probably thinking everything has been

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Speaker 1: a lie and you're like, do I even know my dad?

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Speaker 1: That is what I think is hurting you and bothering you.

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Speaker 1: Not necessarily that he's bisexual, because you can tell him.

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Speaker 1: I'm okay with you living your life, but I don't

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Speaker 1: really want to see it. I need some time, you know,

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Speaker 1: to like ease my way into this idea of my

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Speaker 1: father being my father, and now he's living his life

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Speaker 1: this way openly, so that's okay. You'll have to understand that.

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Speaker 1: I personally feel that it's because he's been lying, and

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Speaker 1: that's uncomfortable thinking that someone is one way and then

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Speaker 1: they're not. I think it's like the deception, you know.

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Speaker 1: So I get that, and I think once you guys

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Speaker 1: have this conversation, it's going to help you accept it

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Speaker 1: a little more. But I think just knowing like, that's

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Speaker 1: your dad, no matter what, and he did his best

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Speaker 1: in raising you, and you are and will always be

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Speaker 1: his little girl. I don't think that you should let

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Speaker 1: his personal life affect your relationship, what he does on

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Speaker 1: his personal time behind closed doors. We all have privacy

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Speaker 1: and we're all entitled to it. So however he chooses

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Speaker 1: to live it, it's on the side, it's away from

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Speaker 1: the relationship that you and him have. But again, I

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Speaker 1: think this initial conversation needs to happen soon, and you

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Speaker 1: need he's not going to come and tell you. You need

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Speaker 1: to face him, and you need to ask him nicely,

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Speaker 1: respectfully and give him that space of like, Okay, daughter,

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Speaker 1: I feel comfortable and here, let me tell you the truth.

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Speaker 1: Like I just want you to be honest. I need

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Speaker 1: you to be honest. And if he continues to lie,

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Speaker 1: then that's a whole other thing, babe. Like then I'd

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Speaker 1: be like, Okay, create a little bit of space, because

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Speaker 1: he's not being honest with you, he's not being honest

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Speaker 1: with himself, Like he needs to be free and be himself,

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Speaker 1: and he's not going to be happy until he does that,

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Speaker 1: and you're not going to be happy until he does that.

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Speaker 1: So anyway, the point is first step, have a conversation

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Speaker 1: with him, and then we'll figure out the rest together. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So keep me updated. I want to know there's nothing wrong, babe.

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Speaker 1: You know, and even if it's something that he's been

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Speaker 1: hiding forever or he just realized this, like, you know,

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Speaker 1: we can't really judge people for that I feel. I mean,

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Speaker 1: people call me the fairy gay mother because I just

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Speaker 1: I love the community and my brother's gay, So I

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Speaker 1: don't know, I have I see it differently, but that's

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Speaker 1: my personal opinion. I think that's why it's bothering you more.

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Speaker 1: I think he just needs to be honest with you.

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Speaker 1: So let me know how it goes, Mama, and I'm

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Speaker 1: sending you a big hug. I know it's not easy.

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Speaker 1: I know it's hard. When I found out about Johnny,

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Speaker 1: it was just like a shocker. But it's okay. It'll

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Speaker 1: get better. I promise it will.

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Speaker 3: But you guys have to have that conversation.

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Speaker 1: Okay, enough, thank you, Lily. I'm wishing you the best, babe. Okay, guys,

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Speaker 1: last question comes from Senya.

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Speaker 4: Hi. Cheeky's currently going through a really hard breakup. I

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Speaker 4: was with this man for a year. My entire family

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Speaker 4: loved him to death. I loved him so much. We

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Speaker 4: spoke about marriage, kids, all of that we were living together,

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Speaker 4: and three days after our one year anniversary, he decided

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Speaker 4: that he needed a break and he went to go

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Speaker 4: live with his cousin. And then maybe a week later,

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Speaker 4: I see that I'm blocked on all social media, and

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Speaker 4: I found his Facebook through a friend or she found it,

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Speaker 4: and he had a picture of him and the new

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Speaker 4: girl with matching rings.

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Speaker 5: And I just wanted to see if you could give

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Speaker 5: me some advice. I want what to do. How you

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Speaker 5: did it to let go of somebody that you thought

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Speaker 5: you were going to spend your life with. Anyways, it'd

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Speaker 5: appreciate any advice he could give me. Thank you, love you.

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Speaker 1: Oh Sanya, I'm so sorry, my mom. Oh what a coward.

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Speaker 1: He is a coward. I'm sorry, but.

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Speaker 3: What a dick.

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Speaker 1: It just upsets me, you know why, because it's like

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Speaker 1: be straight up, Like be straight up and like it's

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Speaker 1: gonna hurt, but like, don't let me find out like that,

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Speaker 1: Like he's not good for you. Thank god he's no

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Speaker 1: longer in your life. And that it was only a year.

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Speaker 1: I know, a year is a long time maybe with

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Speaker 1: someone I know, but imagine if it would have been

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Speaker 1: two or five or you guys were engaged and he

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Speaker 1: did this and you guys had kids and he did

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Speaker 1: this like ten years pass by, Like thank God, it

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Speaker 1: was only a year, babe. And I know it hurts,

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Speaker 1: and I know it's difficult, but the way you need

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Speaker 1: to see it is thank you God. Rejection is God's protection.

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Speaker 1: I really believe that, and he was saving you from

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Speaker 1: something and let him wish him the best, yeah, because

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Speaker 1: we don't want to wish any bad upon anyone because

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Speaker 1: we don't want that coming back to us, right, But

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Speaker 1: God will teach him what he needs to learn, Okay,

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Speaker 1: and when he comes back, if he ever does, because

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Speaker 1: usually guys like this get hurt and then they try

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Speaker 1: to come crawling back. Shut that door forever, babe, Shut

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Speaker 1: it forever, because when you do someone dirty the way

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Speaker 1: he did you, there's no way that stays that way.

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Speaker 1: Something happens. And again I'm not wishing the person bad luck,

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Speaker 1: but I've lived a while and I've seen it Probably

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Speaker 1: won't happen tomorrow or in a year, but eventually he

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Speaker 1: will learn the lesson that he needs to learn, because

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Speaker 1: you don't do that to people that's just so messed up.

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Speaker 1: So obviously he was talking to this person while he

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Speaker 1: was with you. So I know it hurts, and I

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Speaker 1: know maybe what I'm telling you you don't want to hear,

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Speaker 1: but thank God honestly, and I think what's going to

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Speaker 1: help you heal is knowing, and that's what helped me heal, Like, Okay, God,

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Speaker 1: thank you for allowing me to see the person that

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Speaker 1: he really is and not the person that I thought

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Speaker 1: he was. Thank you for saving me God from a

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Speaker 1: bigger heartbreak later down the road. When you start thanking

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Speaker 1: God for stuff like that and thinking whatever it is

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Speaker 1: that you believe in, okay, and having faith that something

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Speaker 1: better will come, it will make you feel better. It's

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Speaker 1: going to be tough, it is. This is just a process.

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Speaker 1: It's a process. Heartbreak and healing is a process, and

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Speaker 1: you just have to lean into it and not try

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Speaker 1: to find someone else to take the pain away. It's

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Speaker 1: just enduring the pain and just looking within and saying, Okay,

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Speaker 1: how can I become a better person? What can I

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Speaker 1: learn from the situation? What do I want to do

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Speaker 1: differently in my next relationship? Now I know what I

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Speaker 1: don't want, you'll see start thinking of the red flags

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Speaker 1: that he showed you that maybe you didn't see because

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Speaker 1: you were so in love. But now that you're outside,

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Speaker 1: think of those red flags and just say, okay, God,

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Speaker 1: show me those red flags so that when the next

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Speaker 1: person comes, I don't ignore them, because I'm sure there

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Speaker 1: were red flags and things that he said and did

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Speaker 1: that didn't seem like they were bad. But now in

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Speaker 1: retrospect you think, oh shit, that was showing me his character.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, I think the best thing you could do

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Speaker 1: is right now is lean into God, lean into your

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Speaker 1: inner strength and inner healing and inner growth, and do

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Speaker 1: all of those things that are going to make you

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Speaker 1: become the best version of yourself. And cry when you

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Speaker 1: need to cry, but do your best. Wake up and

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Speaker 1: say I'm gonna have a goo day to day. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna be okay. God, thank you for saving me. Thank

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Speaker 1: you for saving me. And the more you say it,

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Speaker 1: the more you'll believe it and the more you'll start

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Speaker 1: seeing it in your life. But I'm so sorry that

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Speaker 1: you went through that. It's unfortunate that there are people

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Speaker 1: like that in the world. But he will learn, he will.

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Speaker 1: It's not cool. I'm sending you a big HUGBIB and yeah, guys. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I love hearing from you guys. Sometimes it breaks my

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Speaker 1: heart to hear stories like these because I want to

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Speaker 1: save everyone and say, I'm like, how can we stop

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Speaker 1: this from happening? But all we can really do is

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Speaker 1: not control other people and just control what we can

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Speaker 1: do and control what we can control, and then leave

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Speaker 1: the rest to God the things that are out of

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Speaker 1: our control. But anyway, guys, thank you for listening, Thank

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Speaker 1: you for being here. If you have a question again,

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Speaker 1: it could be about anything my personal life, advice that

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Speaker 1: you may need about your life. It doesn't even have

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Speaker 1: to just be about love. It could be about finances

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Speaker 1: and about friendships and about anything business. I am here

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Speaker 1: for you, guys. Leave your question at speakpipe dot com

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Speaker 1: Cheeky's in Chow podcast Wishing you all the best, have

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Speaker 1: a beautiful day, and I will see you here on

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Speaker 1: the next episode of Dear cheekyas. This is a production

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Speaker 1: of iHeartRadio and the micro Dura podcast Network. Follow us

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Speaker 1: on Instagram at Michael Doura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's

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Speaker 1: That's c h I q U I s. For more

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Speaker 1: podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or

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Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your favorite podcast