Speaker 1: Pay attention to your choices, make more choices that have
Speaker 1: you feeling good and fewer that have you feeling depleted,
Speaker 1: and your life changes overnight. Welcome to the one you
Speaker 1: feed throughout time. Great thinkers have recognized the importance of
Speaker 1: the thoughts we have. Quotes like garbage in, garbage out,
Speaker 1: or you are what you think ring true, and yet
Speaker 1: for many of us, our thoughts don't strengthen or empower us.
Speaker 1: We tend toward negativity, self pity, jealousy, or fear. We
Speaker 1: see what we don't have instead of what we do.
Speaker 1: We think things that hold us back and dampen our spirit.
Speaker 1: But it's not just about thinking our actions matter. It
Speaker 1: takes conscious, consistent, and creative effort to make a life
Speaker 1: worth living. This podcast is about how other people keep
Speaker 1: themselves moving in the right direction, how they feed their
Speaker 1: good Wolf m Thanks for joining us. Our guest on
Speaker 1: this episode is Scott's Stabille, who has amassed a sizeable
Speaker 1: Facebook following with his inspirational and provocative quotes, essays, and
Speaker 1: live videos. His previous work includes Just Love, Iris and
Speaker 1: The Little Pet Hospital series. Scott also wrote a feature
Speaker 1: film entitled The Googie Loves and The Big Balloon Adventure.
Speaker 1: He's a regular contributor to The Huffington's Post and runs
Speaker 1: empowerment workshops nationally and internationally. Hi Scott, welcome to the show.
Speaker 1: Thank you, thanks for having me brother. Good to see you.
Speaker 1: I can't remember the last time we had you on.
Speaker 1: We had you on for a mini episode we did
Speaker 1: talking about difficult thoughts and emotions, and I don't know
Speaker 1: if we did it at the beginning of the pandemic,
Speaker 1: so if it's been about a year or whether it
Speaker 1: was a couple of months into it, but either way,
Speaker 1: it's been a while and so I'm happy to have
Speaker 1: you back for us to talk for the full episode. Wonderful. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm excited. I can't start one of these without doing
Speaker 1: the Wolf Parable because I'd hear about it. So we're
Speaker 1: gonna have to do the Wolf Parable. I think it's
Speaker 1: take two for you. I don't think I put you
Speaker 1: through it last time. So Grandfather, talking with Grandson says
Speaker 1: there's two wolves inside of us that are always at battle.
Speaker 1: One's a good wolf represents things like kindness, bravery, and love,
Speaker 1: and the other is a bad wolf that represents things
Speaker 1: like greed and hatred and fear, and the grandson stops
Speaker 1: and he thinks about it for a second. He looks
Speaker 1: up at his grandfather says, well, grandfather, which one wins?
Speaker 1: And the grandfather says, the one you feed. So I'd
Speaker 1: love to know how that parable is resonating with you
Speaker 1: in your life and work today. Yeah, specifically, how it's
Speaker 1: resonating with me today and in general lately is really
Speaker 1: about understanding that I can show up with love for
Speaker 1: myself no matter which wolf I'm feeding, And that's really
Speaker 1: been the game changer for me and my life is
Speaker 1: under standing that human beings were all the wolves, right.
Speaker 1: We are every version of the bad wolf for every
Speaker 1: version of the good wolf, if that's how you want
Speaker 1: to label them, and that as we move through our lives,
Speaker 1: even those of us who are really working at moving
Speaker 1: through our lives with more consciousness, with more alignment to
Speaker 1: our inner knowing and our inner being, we're still showing
Speaker 1: up as envious or jealous, or blameful or hateful or whatever. Ways.
Speaker 1: What I've come to learn is that I don't have
Speaker 1: to judge myself for it anymore, and that for me
Speaker 1: has created so much peace in those realities that used
Speaker 1: to be filled with a lot of judgment and shame,
Speaker 1: which is to say, if I'm showing up in a
Speaker 1: way that doesn't feel aligned for me, if I'm jealous
Speaker 1: of someone out there and what they're achieving, or blameful
Speaker 1: of someone and what they've done, and that isn't really
Speaker 1: what I know to be the healthiest way for me
Speaker 1: to be showing up. What I used to do in
Speaker 1: the past was beat myself up about it and judge
Speaker 1: myself against a more enlightened response, like you should be
Speaker 1: more evolved than this, you shouldn't be feeling these things anymore.
Speaker 1: And all it made me do in those moments was
Speaker 1: feel like crap about myself. It just compounded whatever I
Speaker 1: was feeling with this heavy layer of suffering. And so
Speaker 1: what I've gotten good at Eric and it's helped me
Speaker 1: so much, and my life is just removing that layer
Speaker 1: of judgment. And then what I'm left with is just
Speaker 1: whatever it is I'm feeling, and with the understanding that
Speaker 1: we human beings feel all of it and it's okay.
Speaker 1: And so when you eliminate the judgment, and you you
Speaker 1: also offer yourself I guess a good wolf, you know, tendency,
Speaker 1: which would be to offer myself this gentle understanding and
Speaker 1: love and reminder that like, it's okay, honey, you're human.
Speaker 1: This is okay too, and this is okay too. And
Speaker 1: let's continuously nudge ourselves into the ways of being and
Speaker 1: showing up and living that feel more aligned with love
Speaker 1: and compassion in the way that I feel most whole
Speaker 1: and most at home, but from an easier place, you know.
Speaker 1: So I welcome all the wolves. I really do at
Speaker 1: this point. It's like I welcome them because they're all there,
Speaker 1: and I don't feel the need to make it a war.
Speaker 1: I don't go to battle with them the same way
Speaker 1: I used to. I acknowledge them, reflect on them, give
Speaker 1: my energy over to the ones that I want to
Speaker 1: be more aligned with more often, because our thoughts matter,
Speaker 1: our thoughts create our feelings, and move on with my day. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's right. On time. I'm more and more realize the
Speaker 1: amount of energy that goes into berating ourselves about us
Speaker 1: not living up to our own standards is not very helpful.
Speaker 1: I often say in the Spiritual Habits course I teach
Speaker 1: you talk about self compassion, I say self compassion is
Speaker 1: really important for two reasons. The first is it's just
Speaker 1: a whole lot better to live in a brain that
Speaker 1: is kind to itself, right, Like you've got to be
Speaker 1: in here all the time. It's much better. But secondly,
Speaker 1: we actually learn better and can better redirect ourselves towards
Speaker 1: the health fer happier, more whole versions of ourselves. We
Speaker 1: want to be when we are compassionate towards ourselves, because
Speaker 1: when we're so hard on ourselves, we kick up all
Speaker 1: our defense mechanisms, we trigger just all sorts of stuff,
Speaker 1: and we don't learn. I don't think we're trained to
Speaker 1: be compassionate with ourselves. We're conditioned. In my experience of
Speaker 1: my life in the world I'm seeing and observing is
Speaker 1: that it's entirely okay for us to beat ourselves up.
Speaker 1: It's understandable. We accept that in people, we accept it
Speaker 1: in ourselves without really recognizing that there are other choices
Speaker 1: we can be making. You know, I'm giving a lot
Speaker 1: of energy these days to bringing awareness to the thoughts
Speaker 1: I'm thinking and how they're making me feel, Understanding that
Speaker 1: our thoughts are what create our feelings. So if I'm
Speaker 1: catching myself in this feeling of anxiety, it serves me
Speaker 1: to reflect on We'll wait a minute. What am I
Speaker 1: thinking about that's creating this feeling? And what happens for
Speaker 1: me if I decide to think about something that actually
Speaker 1: create it's a little more peace or a little more joy.
Speaker 1: And I think that spiritual people or people on the
Speaker 1: healing path or in the self help world can confuse
Speaker 1: that notion with this thought of denial or spiritual bypassing
Speaker 1: or whatever words we want to attach to it, and
Speaker 1: I don't really see it that way. I think there
Speaker 1: is a such thing as denial and a such thing
Speaker 1: as spiritual bypassing, absolutely, And I also recognize that we
Speaker 1: know when we're selling ourselves a good bills like I
Speaker 1: can speak to the universe whatever words I want to say,
Speaker 1: and if what I'm vibrating in my being is counter
Speaker 1: to that, the energy that I'm emitting is what's going
Speaker 1: to ultimately, I believe, create more powerful the reality that
Speaker 1: I'm experiencing. But there is so much power in redirecting
Speaker 1: our thoughts, right. I don't have to sit in this
Speaker 1: painful memory for hours and days and months if by
Speaker 1: doing so, all that's creating for me in my life
Speaker 1: is more pain and more misery and more darkness. I
Speaker 1: can see the ways in which I became, and I
Speaker 1: see the ways in which people have become addicted to
Speaker 1: their misery. We congregate with others in a way that
Speaker 1: just contributes to this addiction to misery that I don't
Speaker 1: think ultimately serves us. So what I'm playing within my
Speaker 1: life right now is looking at well, what happens when
Speaker 1: I focus on a different experience from my past? If
Speaker 1: I want to be focused on my past, what happens
Speaker 1: if I focus on a joyful memory from my past
Speaker 1: instead of one that creates heartbreak or anxiety? And what
Speaker 1: happens is that I'm much more likely to experience a
Speaker 1: bit more peace in my being and a bit more
Speaker 1: joy in my being. And why wouldn't I be giving
Speaker 1: myself more and more of those moments in my life?
Speaker 1: Because then when I've gone through a day, I've gone
Speaker 1: through a day where at least half the day was
Speaker 1: spent giving energy to and utilizing and directing thoughts that
Speaker 1: create more joy and peace and meaning in my life.
Speaker 1: How can that be a disservice to me in any way? Yep?
Speaker 1: Oh boy, have you wandered into a topic that I
Speaker 1: feel like I could spend a lot of time on
Speaker 1: because I think there's a lot of nuance in it.
Speaker 1: Even if I go back to where you opened up,
Speaker 1: which is okay, whichever wolf happens to be here, the
Speaker 1: sad wolf, the angry wolf, the whatever wolf, I'm going
Speaker 1: to welcome it. So there's that element. And then there's
Speaker 1: the element also that you're talking about. And I don't
Speaker 1: think these things are opposed to each other, but I
Speaker 1: think there's subtlety in them of I'm going to orient
Speaker 1: myself around these thought processes that are more empowering. And
Speaker 1: so how do we allow the wolf to be here
Speaker 1: that's going to be here, the one that shows up
Speaker 1: the feelings that are here, and allow that and welcome it,
Speaker 1: and then yet also say, hey, that's not where I
Speaker 1: want to live. Maybe I'm believing things, I'm thinking things
Speaker 1: that are bringing me down, and so I'm going to
Speaker 1: move to words a more positive thought where that positive
Speaker 1: thought doesn't become one of denial or repression or a
Speaker 1: subtle way of me saying bad wolf, bad wolf. It's
Speaker 1: a great question, and for me, the word that comes
Speaker 1: up is expansion. Be expansive. We are wildly expansive beings
Speaker 1: in the reality of this experience on planet Earth in
Speaker 1: this lifetime is so much more than anyone thing. So
Speaker 1: what I understand that if I am mired in my
Speaker 1: stories that are rooting me in a version of my
Speaker 1: life that is just painful or anxious or sad, what
Speaker 1: I understand automatically is I am denying the other aspects
Speaker 1: of this life that are also real. So there is
Speaker 1: denial in that. We tend to reflect on denial from
Speaker 1: the place of of how you're focusing on it, Like
Speaker 1: if I'm in my sadness, I'm in my sadness. I'm
Speaker 1: someone who talks a lot about feeling our feelings, and
Speaker 1: I believe there's great value in that because I don't
Speaker 1: believe we're served by denial. But I also don't believe
Speaker 1: we're served by denying joy. We're not served by denying
Speaker 1: peace that is our birthright. We're not served by denying
Speaker 1: connection and love and all of the beautiful aspects of
Speaker 1: this world that we tend to deny when we are in.
Speaker 1: What I've seen in myself and in others an addiction
Speaker 1: to the pain. Right. So what I feel like I'm
Speaker 1: able to do more readily now when I'm resting in
Speaker 1: anything is too, expand my energy and make space for
Speaker 1: the more, especially when it's the hard stuff I'm feeling,
Speaker 1: because I don't judge that when I'm feeling grief or
Speaker 1: when I'm feeling anxious, Yeah, that's that's fine. I can
Speaker 1: welcome it from the perspective of this is the human experience.
Speaker 1: You know, this is absolutely human experience. I can be
Speaker 1: with it from that place. I don't judge myself for
Speaker 1: being in there. But what I'm doing more often now
Speaker 1: is just considering, well, my thought took me to this place,
Speaker 1: So what happens if I shift my thoughts? What might
Speaker 1: I be able to create by shifting my thoughts without
Speaker 1: denying the fact that there's anxiety as well. A concept
Speaker 1: that I anchor to with a lot of this stuff
Speaker 1: is the idea sort of of the middle way. And
Speaker 1: what I think is really helpful is the middle way
Speaker 1: is a useful tool if you know which extreme you're on.
Speaker 1: For example, I think that we could say that one
Speaker 1: extreme might be I live in my misery and my
Speaker 1: pain and I cherish it, you know, I'm there, And
Speaker 1: the other might be to say I try, by whatever
Speaker 1: means I can to not feel bad, and if that
Speaker 1: way I'm trying happens to be that. You know, anytime
Speaker 1: I have a negative thought, I'm gonna get rid of
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get rid of it. I'm gonna banish it.
Speaker 1: You know, if I'm way over there, right, the answer
Speaker 1: might be knowing which side I'm on, how do I
Speaker 1: bring myself to a place that is more in the middle,
Speaker 1: if that makes any sense. Like an example is sometimes
Speaker 1: I'll have coaching clients, and clients are really hard on themselves.
Speaker 1: That's their default. Everything that they do wrong, they just
Speaker 1: beat themselves to death. And then I have other clients
Speaker 1: who just sort of let themselves off the hook for anything.
Speaker 1: There's no sense of inner accountability. And so if I
Speaker 1: were to make a default statement about the best way
Speaker 1: to coach people, I'd be missing the boat, because depending
Speaker 1: on where that person is on, that might mean I
Speaker 1: want to guide them towards more of a holistic experience
Speaker 1: at least my experiences. No which side I tend to
Speaker 1: gravitate towards, and maybe work my way back to the middle.
Speaker 1: So if I'm somebody who tries to deny anything I'm feeling,
Speaker 1: then I might need to say, all right, I got
Speaker 1: to allow myself to feel what I'm feeling and not
Speaker 1: try and shift out of it, not try and bypass
Speaker 1: out of it every time. And conversely, if that's where
Speaker 1: I get stuck, I might need to orient my mind
Speaker 1: more towards some positive and empowering thoughts. I think you're
Speaker 1: spot on that it's so circumstantial. It's so by the
Speaker 1: person you, because I look at my life right now,
Speaker 1: and I would say the one thing I've become expert
Speaker 1: at is loving myself, which is to say, the moment
Speaker 1: i'm aware that my mind is mired in some sort
Speaker 1: of self abusive thought process, I'm really good at shifting
Speaker 1: those thoughts and really good at showing up for myself
Speaker 1: with a ton of compassion. It doesn't even feel like work,
Speaker 1: I think when I talk about it into my workshops,
Speaker 1: I'm constantly saying, Hey, this is work because it takes practice,
Speaker 1: and it takes continued practice and conscious practice and self awareness.
Speaker 1: For me, now, self love doesn't feel like work. It
Speaker 1: feels incredibly habitual. It feels like second nature. And I
Speaker 1: don't see any reason to allow my mind to abuse me.
Speaker 1: So I am extreme in that way, like I don't
Speaker 1: see any benefit in allowing my thought process to go
Speaker 1: to a place of suggesting that I am in any
Speaker 1: way unworthy, because I know that is not true. So
Speaker 1: in that instance, I guess I'm not aligned with what
Speaker 1: you're saying. I don't see the reason for middle path
Speaker 1: around self love. It's like, I want to be loving
Speaker 1: myself as often as possible, as deeply as possible. I
Speaker 1: feel really good about the work I've done to get
Speaker 1: myself there. I have self abusive thoughts. I'm not suggesting
Speaker 1: I'm always living in that place, but I am suggesting
Speaker 1: I get myself out of that place very quickly. Or
Speaker 1: there's always a voice within me that's like, oh, honey,
Speaker 1: don't believe your mind like you are beautiful and worthy
Speaker 1: and I've got you and I love you and Eric.
Speaker 1: This has changed my life. This has been probably the
Speaker 1: thing that has changed my life more than any other
Speaker 1: is knowing that no matter what I'm experiencing in my life,
Speaker 1: I am going to show up for myself with compassion
Speaker 1: and love. It has allowed me to make braver choices
Speaker 1: in my life because I understand that if I fall
Speaker 1: on my face, or if people judge me or people
Speaker 1: misunderstand me, I have my back. I am going to
Speaker 1: be the person that is able to show up for
Speaker 1: myself and say you are worthy no matter what. It
Speaker 1: doesn't matter what people think about you. It doesn't matter
Speaker 1: that you failed, quote unquot out or whatever. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. So when I think about that from
Speaker 1: the perspective of loving myself and how much value it's
Speaker 1: given to my life and how much peace it's created,
Speaker 1: I apply that filter to other aspects of my life,
Speaker 1: and what I'm realizing a goal for myself is now
Speaker 1: a goal? Makes it sound well, No, it is a goal.
Speaker 1: I am efforting at it and practicing at it. I
Speaker 1: want to live my life with more ease and more peace,
Speaker 1: and so I feel really committed to making choices that
Speaker 1: create more ease and peace in my life. So with
Speaker 1: what you were saying, I think sometimes if there's a
Speaker 1: person who is so unable and I know people like this,
Speaker 1: I've met people like this, so unable to be in
Speaker 1: their feelings for me, usually because it's there's so much
Speaker 1: fear around it, around sitting in what feels real to
Speaker 1: you because you don't think you can survive it. So
Speaker 1: people are numbing and they're in their addictions and they're
Speaker 1: doing every thing that they can do to keep from
Speaker 1: being in their feelings. For me, that doesn't feel like
Speaker 1: peace and ease. When you were talking about a middle path,
Speaker 1: that's what I connect with what you're speaking to because
Speaker 1: from that place, what I feel is I don't feel
Speaker 1: ease in that I feel resistance. I feel fear. And
Speaker 1: so whenever we're operating from this place of resistance or fear,
Speaker 1: I feel like there's great value in looking at, well,
Speaker 1: what choices could I make that might create more ease
Speaker 1: around this? And a person who is unable to experience
Speaker 1: their feelings is going to be very resistant to the
Speaker 1: answer to that, because the answer is naturally going to
Speaker 1: be like, let's move you into your feelings a little
Speaker 1: more so that you're able to see that you can
Speaker 1: survive feeling what is really happening in your body, And
Speaker 1: the only way to survive it is to know that
Speaker 1: we can survive it, which is by allowing the feeling
Speaker 1: of it. That's right, that's right. And I think that
Speaker 1: some of this gets into that distinction between being well.
Speaker 1: I was going to say, the distinction between thoughts and emotions,
Speaker 1: which I think we often make a distinction between. Even
Speaker 1: though I'm not convinced that they're actually as separate as
Speaker 1: we often talk about them being. We talk about them
Speaker 1: being different, but they travel very closely. They travel very
Speaker 1: closely together. But that idea of I don't want to
Speaker 1: deny what I'm feeling. So what I'm feeling is what
Speaker 1: I'm feeling. But maybe I want to examine the stories
Speaker 1: I'm telling myself about what I'm feeling or the thoughts
Speaker 1: that I'm having about what I'm feeling. Absolutely the thing
Speaker 1: that keeps coming up for me lately, I should tell
Speaker 1: you I've been listening. Are you familiar with Abraham Hicks.
Speaker 1: I know a little bit about it. Yes, so Abraham Hicks.
Speaker 1: There's a woman named Esther Hicks who channels these cosmic entities.
Speaker 1: They call themselves Abraham and Abraham Hicks has been around
Speaker 1: since I think, and I've seen memes with Abraham Hicks,
Speaker 1: but only in the last month, by the recommend dation
Speaker 1: of a friend, have I started listening to this podcast
Speaker 1: called Abraham Hicks Daily, where it's Abraham Hicks answering questions
Speaker 1: that people are posing. I feel really aligned to a
Speaker 1: lot of the message, and it really has me thinking
Speaker 1: about what is the downside to fueling my thoughts with
Speaker 1: things that feel good, like when I'm really thinking about it,
Speaker 1: Like if I went through a whole day. Let's say
Speaker 1: I had this experience where I was in a fight
Speaker 1: with a friend and it created this anxiety, and if
Speaker 1: we fight with a good friend, we're living in it
Speaker 1: for as long as it's going on until we make
Speaker 1: amends or whatever. And I could go through my whole
Speaker 1: day thinking about that fight and replaying that fight like
Speaker 1: a hamster on the wheel like we all do right
Speaker 1: and contributing to my well being in no good way
Speaker 1: unless I'm coming to a conclusion that where I'm like
Speaker 1: taking responsibility and for my actions and and showing up
Speaker 1: in that way. And hopefully you get to that point.
Speaker 1: But a lot of the time spent dwelling on a
Speaker 1: past fight is lived in the feeling of the fight,
Speaker 1: in the resentment, in the judgment, and you feeling like
Speaker 1: you were right and they were wrong, and all of
Speaker 1: this insanity that creates in our being nothing but a
Speaker 1: bad feeling. But that's real. I'm feeling anxious about the fight,
Speaker 1: it's a real feeling. I'm feeling my feeling, But am
Speaker 1: I doing any disservice to myself to say, you know what,
Speaker 1: what if I think about this beautiful walk I had
Speaker 1: by the lake the other day while I was feeling
Speaker 1: really peaceful and feeling really connected to the trees, and
Speaker 1: then focus on how much trees bring me peace and
Speaker 1: focus my energy on those thoughts. How is that doing
Speaker 1: any disservice to me? If I steer myself away from
Speaker 1: the anxious feeling around the fight and just give my
Speaker 1: energy over to something that feels good, it doesn't take
Speaker 1: away from any healing that was created by thinking about
Speaker 1: the fight, because I wasn't creating any healing. All I
Speaker 1: was creating was more anxiety. Right. That's kind of the
Speaker 1: distinction I'm making. And the more I reflect on those things,
Speaker 1: It's like, if I spent sixteen of my waking hours,
Speaker 1: if I've spent nine of them focused on stuff that
Speaker 1: makes me feel good versus the twelve I might usually
Speaker 1: spend in some version of like anxiety, or the world
Speaker 1: is all violent and horrible and I'm watching the news
Speaker 1: again to be confirmed. It's like, why wouldn't I be
Speaker 1: giving myself that. That's the thing I keep coming back to.
Speaker 1: It's like, why wouldn't I right now just focus on
Speaker 1: something that centers me in peace, because what I feel
Speaker 1: is when I'm centered in that place of peace and
Speaker 1: feeling good is when I feel most aligned with my heart,
Speaker 1: when I feel most aligned with the love that is
Speaker 1: within me, which is to say, it's when I feel
Speaker 1: most aligned with the source energy that is alive within me.
Speaker 1: You know, I believe we are all divine beings. I
Speaker 1: believe we all have within us the energy that created
Speaker 1: everything else, the energy that creates planets and oceans and
Speaker 1: worlds and stars. We all have that energy within us.
Speaker 1: And when I'm aligned with that energy, I am never
Speaker 1: out of sync with love and compassion and peace. When
Speaker 1: I'm aligned with that energy, I am always in that place,
Speaker 1: Which tells me that my most divine alignment is in
Speaker 1: that place, Which tells me that when I'm stewing in
Speaker 1: anxiety or depression or whatever other things I steer toward,
Speaker 1: I'm not aligned with the God energy within me. So
Speaker 1: why not shift myself back to that place? If I'm able?
Speaker 1: As often as I'm able. There's a quote that you
Speaker 1: had on Facebook that I thought was really useful. You
Speaker 1: were talking about this idea and then you said, Hey,
Speaker 1: why are we so quick to refute things before we
Speaker 1: give energy to seeing what happens. You know, why would
Speaker 1: we declare that being more conscious about the thoughts we
Speaker 1: have doesn't work if we don't really try it, which
Speaker 1: kind of stopped me and made me go, okay, let
Speaker 1: me let me reflect on this. And we did an
Speaker 1: email series I don't know sometimes over the last couple
Speaker 1: of months where we sort of talked about, you know,
Speaker 1: working with difficult thoughts a little bit right, And the
Speaker 1: very first question, I think is the one that you
Speaker 1: were sort of pointing to, which is is this thought useful?
Speaker 1: So to the point about the fight with a friend,
Speaker 1: there's a point by which I am rethinking about the
Speaker 1: conversation and I'm going, well, what if I had said that,
Speaker 1: And well, I wonder what I'm bringing to this, and well,
Speaker 1: maybe he was having a bad day. We're solving a problem,
Speaker 1: and that's useful. And so there's a period of time
Speaker 1: that that's actually good, you know, I think we really
Speaker 1: want to do that. And then there's a period of
Speaker 1: time beyond which I think most of us could safely say, Okay,
Speaker 1: I am in the term I like to use as rumination,
Speaker 1: I am now ruminating. I am running around the same
Speaker 1: circle over and over. I'm creating nothing new, I'm uncovering
Speaker 1: no new solutions, and I'm miserable. And so then at
Speaker 1: that point, the question really becomes, Okay, how do I
Speaker 1: shift out of that place? If we realize what's going
Speaker 1: on up here isn't helpful, then what are our choices
Speaker 1: to shift somewhere else? And I think the question that
Speaker 1: I wanted to lead you to here or lead us
Speaker 1: to is this idea that my thoughts create my emotions.
Speaker 1: I've been exploring the reverse of that to some degree.
Speaker 1: I've been exploring a little bit in my own life,
Speaker 1: how perhaps my emotions are creating my thoughts. What I
Speaker 1: mean by that is I feel like there are days
Speaker 1: that I wake up and for whatever reason, before I've
Speaker 1: had any thought. Now I guess we can say it's
Speaker 1: carried over from my dreams, But before I've had any
Speaker 1: sort of thought, it's almost as if I can tell
Speaker 1: like there's a gloomy storm front up here in the brain,
Speaker 1: and it's almost as if every thought I have is
Speaker 1: reflected or projected through that weather storm that's already in
Speaker 1: my head. And so it's like it's not that I'm
Speaker 1: having a negative thought, and thus bad feelings are coming,
Speaker 1: and it's almost as if there's some bad emotional state
Speaker 1: or body state that's here, and now all my thoughts
Speaker 1: are taking on that color. In Buddhism, they talk about
Speaker 1: the very first thing that happens in consciousness is this
Speaker 1: basic body sense of good bad or neutral Vedanna or veda.
Speaker 1: I can never pronounce it right, And I've been reflecting
Speaker 1: on how sometimes that it seems like that that state good, bad, neutral,
Speaker 1: that's sort of already there, becomes something that colors my thoughts.
Speaker 1: And I guess before we sort of talk about maybe
Speaker 1: how to work with that, I'm curious what your perspective
Speaker 1: on that is. It's interesting. I mean, I hadn't thought
Speaker 1: about that, but I think what you're saying, certainly that's possible.
Speaker 1: What I would wonder is we're always thinking. So even
Speaker 1: when you're waking up, before you're realizing maybe consciously that
Speaker 1: you're having thoughts, you're having thoughts because it's what's happening.
Speaker 1: But even more to what you're saying, if it is
Speaker 1: something you're feeling that's informing your thoughts, I still believe
Speaker 1: it's ultimately going to be the thoughts that you give
Speaker 1: your energy to intentionally from that moment on, that have
Speaker 1: the best shot of shifting you into another way of being.
Speaker 1: Because I don't feel like I have control over my
Speaker 1: emotions beyond my thoughts, if that makes sense, Absolutely like,
Speaker 1: I can't just shift an emotion without thinking something to
Speaker 1: help me shift it. Absolutely right, I think that you're right.
Speaker 1: On one hand, it's almost doesn't matter right right the
Speaker 1: chicken and egg right, because we can't really go in and,
Speaker 1: as you said, just shift the emotion. The realization that
Speaker 1: was happening with me with this a lot was is
Speaker 1: that I wrestle with I don't even like that word
Speaker 1: I wrestle, but the one I use most of the time.
Speaker 1: I've dealt with depression a lot of my adult life,
Speaker 1: and I have more and more been starting to wonder
Speaker 1: and noticing that perhaps what I'm calling depression is being
Speaker 1: really tired. They feel very similar to me, They're very close.
Speaker 1: And so what I noticed, though, is the minute I
Speaker 1: start going, oh, it's depression, I spin off in one direction,
Speaker 1: whereas on the other hand, if I go, oh, I'm tired.
Speaker 1: And we had a guest, Christian County, who said this.
Speaker 1: He said that a lot of times our thoughts will
Speaker 1: mirror what's going on in our body. And I thought
Speaker 1: that was interesting, because, like you, I tend to be
Speaker 1: more of the thought causes emotion, that's the direction of operations.
Speaker 1: But I thought a whole lot more, and the more
Speaker 1: I've started to sort of realize, like I think they're
Speaker 1: bi directional. But to your point, since emotion isn't something
Speaker 1: I can exactly go in and move, whereas a thought,
Speaker 1: I have some degree of control. I may not be
Speaker 1: able to control what pops up, but I can go
Speaker 1: Do I want to accept that thought? Do I want
Speaker 1: to work with that thought? Do I want to have
Speaker 1: a different one? Do I want to try and have
Speaker 1: a different one? I think at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: thoughts and then I would say behavior is the second lever.
Speaker 1: Thoughts and behavior are levers that we can pull way
Speaker 1: easier than we can ever pull the lever of emotion.
Speaker 1: It doesn't have a lever on it really, as near
Speaker 1: as I can tell, absolutely, you know. I think the
Speaker 1: thing that's so important for people to understand that I'm
Speaker 1: understanding more than ever is how powerful we are as
Speaker 1: directors of our thoughts. The quote you said about don't
Speaker 1: refute something before you've tried it, Like, that is really
Speaker 1: how I feel about this. It's like we are these powerful, powerful,
Speaker 1: powerful energetic beings. Everything is energy. Everyone agrees to that.
Speaker 1: Now scientists agree, New age people agree. We all have
Speaker 1: come to understand everything is energy. Our thoughts, our energy,
Speaker 1: our words, our energy, our actions are energy. When you
Speaker 1: really is that and acknowledge it, you understand the power
Speaker 1: that you have to direct energetically the thoughts that are
Speaker 1: ultimately going to contribute to your feelings and to your
Speaker 1: experience of life. And so to someone out there who
Speaker 1: might feel like they've been living a crappy life forever
Speaker 1: and they don't know how to love themselves or whatever else,
Speaker 1: it's like, here we are right now, in this moment.
Speaker 1: The past is really not relevant. It's what we do
Speaker 1: from this moment on that will always matter the most.
Speaker 1: And it is never too late to start being intentional
Speaker 1: and to harness the energy that you have, and to
Speaker 1: harness the focus that you have to direct your thoughts
Speaker 1: and redirect your thoughts in a way that is going
Speaker 1: to support for you creating a life with more joy,
Speaker 1: more meaning, more connection, more self love. You know, people
Speaker 1: tell me all the time, because I do a lot
Speaker 1: of self love workshops that I don't know how to
Speaker 1: love myself, and I've never been able to love myself,
Speaker 1: and I don't know if it's possible for me to
Speaker 1: love myself. And to that I I always say, hey,
Speaker 1: if it's possible for you to love anything or anyone,
Speaker 1: it's absolutely possible for you to love yourself. That love
Speaker 1: isn't just available to other people, right. That doesn't make
Speaker 1: rational or intuitive sense. And if you need a starting point,
Speaker 1: it's like, look at the way you show up for
Speaker 1: the people you love the most in your life when
Speaker 1: they're mired in self abuse, when they're beating themselves up.
Speaker 1: What things do you say to the people you love
Speaker 1: the most? Start saying those things to yourself. This is
Speaker 1: one way we love ourselves. Another way is simply by
Speaker 1: acknowledging the ways that we actually are showing up for ourselves.
Speaker 1: I feel eric that our minds naturally have a negativity bias,
Speaker 1: so we really clearly focus on all the things we're
Speaker 1: doing that don't look like self love. But we don't
Speaker 1: always sit in acknowledgement of the times we actually are
Speaker 1: showing up, the times we're making ourselves a beautiful cup
Speaker 1: of warm tea because we know we enjoy it. The
Speaker 1: times we're paying our bills on time, because we know
Speaker 1: that creates peace in our lives. We are loving ourselves
Speaker 1: in so many different ways throughout the day, and the
Speaker 1: more conscious we become in acknowledging those things, the more
Speaker 1: likely we are to acknowledge those things, which means we're
Speaker 1: offering ourselves more moments centered in self love and self compassion.
Speaker 1: And these are like micro ways that we we change
Speaker 1: our lives, you know. And all of those things for
Speaker 1: me matter, and what matters the most is it's like
Speaker 1: if you are telling yourself that it is not possible
Speaker 1: for you to do something. It's not possible for you
Speaker 1: to get over this illness you have. It's not possible
Speaker 1: for you to find a new job. It's not possible
Speaker 1: for you to walk away from this relationship that is
Speaker 1: not serving you. I implore you to look at the
Speaker 1: countless examples we have in this world of people who
Speaker 1: have done the impossible, People who have survived illnesses they
Speaker 1: were never supposed to survive. People like you, and you've
Speaker 1: talked openly about this, who have overcome addictions that they
Speaker 1: never thought that they would overcome in our living in
Speaker 1: their sobriety. Today, It's like we are given examples time
Speaker 1: and time and time again of people doing the seemingly impossible.
Speaker 1: I just don't believe that there are limits to what
Speaker 1: we're able to create for ourselves. When we have belief
Speaker 1: that we're able to create these things for ourselves, why
Speaker 1: would we be the exception? That's what I keep coming
Speaker 1: back to. It's like, if everyone on the planet is worthy,
Speaker 1: because we're all these divine expressions or these human expressions
Speaker 1: of divinity. Everyone is being born today is as worthy
Speaker 1: as every other baby being born, why would I be
Speaker 1: the exception as the only unworthy human being on the planet.
Speaker 1: It doesn't make any sense. I want to set the
Speaker 1: word worthy aside for a second because I think that's
Speaker 1: an interesting word because it almost doesn't mean anything in
Speaker 1: a way, because how could we not be worthy? Right?
Speaker 1: Worthy of what? Who's handing out the worthy? I mean? Right?
Speaker 1: Like it's a concept. But let me give you an
Speaker 1: example of my own sort of limiting. Is that a
Speaker 1: limiting belief is that a useful belief is that some
Speaker 1: reflection in reality? Is it more practical which would say
Speaker 1: something like, well of course I'm worthy, yeah, but I'm
Speaker 1: not good enough to accomplish X. And what I look
Speaker 1: at with that is there's this part of me that goes, well,
Speaker 1: if you say you're not good enough to accomplish X, well,
Speaker 1: of course you're not going to be good enough. By
Speaker 1: saying that, you immediately take yourself out of the race. Right.
Speaker 1: So when I do that, I'm like, all right, well
Speaker 1: that that doesn't make sense. And yet there's another part
Speaker 1: of me that goes, well, let's look at the quote
Speaker 1: unquote facts here, you know, let's look at what you've done,
Speaker 1: or let's look at how good you are at that.
Speaker 1: So a ridiculous example, right, Like I'm not going to
Speaker 1: play in the NBA. I can look at all the
Speaker 1: people who do play in the n b A. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm twisting your words a little bit, but I'd be like, well,
Speaker 1: thousands of people have played in the NBA. Why not me? Right?
Speaker 1: And the reality is I'm pretty sure I'm not going
Speaker 1: to play in the NBA. So I'm sort of like, well,
Speaker 1: there's an example of where like, Okay, regardless of how
Speaker 1: much I think it's true, I want to believe it's true.
Speaker 1: We're not going to play in the NBA. Now. What
Speaker 1: I do know, though, is if I pick up a
Speaker 1: basketball and I work with a basketball a lot every day,
Speaker 1: I could probably become pretty darn good at playing basketball. Absolutely.
Speaker 1: But what I think people are doing, it's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you're not going to play in the NBA and I'm
Speaker 1: not going to be a professional tennis player, But like,
Speaker 1: how attached are you to that vision? What I see
Speaker 1: so many of us doing so much of the time
Speaker 1: is telling ourselves were not able to do things that
Speaker 1: were absolutely able to do. Like if you were sitting
Speaker 1: here telling me you can't write a book, I'd be like,
Speaker 1: are you insane? Of course you can write a book.
Speaker 1: Like why would you ever tell yourself you can't write
Speaker 1: a book, especially if you're feeling called to write a book.
Speaker 1: That's the thing I think people are. We're all limiting
Speaker 1: ourselves based on the things we actually realistically could make
Speaker 1: happen for ourselves in our lives, and we don't even
Speaker 1: try them because we're so focused on the failure, the
Speaker 1: or a failure, or the fear of judgment or all
Speaker 1: the other fears that take over the possibility of creating
Speaker 1: the kinds of lives we want. To create. And what's
Speaker 1: so important about this for me Eric as well, is
Speaker 1: you know, I'm a big believer in practice or of visualization.
Speaker 1: I'm a believer in it because again, I think our
Speaker 1: thoughts are energy, and when I'm visualizing that which I
Speaker 1: seek to create, I believe I'm putting active energy towards
Speaker 1: creating it. And it doesn't mean everything always plays out
Speaker 1: the way I visualize it. But the more important aspect
Speaker 1: for me is understanding that when I'm visualizing the things
Speaker 1: I want to create and visualizing in the present tense,
Speaker 1: in the present moment, in living in the experience of
Speaker 1: having created it, and allowing myself to feel Because ultimately,
Speaker 1: everything we're seeking, we're seeking it because of how we
Speaker 1: want to feel if we get it right. Like I
Speaker 1: want to write a book because I'm gonna feel proud
Speaker 1: to have published a book, and I'm gonna feel excited
Speaker 1: and joyful because of that. What if we allow ourselves
Speaker 1: to live in those feelings in the now because that's
Speaker 1: what we want any way, Why do I need publishing
Speaker 1: a book to be the thing that makes me feel joyful.
Speaker 1: That's where I feel like we're doing a disservice to ourselves.
Speaker 1: So what if I live What if I focus on
Speaker 1: the experience of having a book published and people reading
Speaker 1: it and people sending me lovely emails, and that isn't
Speaker 1: my reality in the moment. What if What if I
Speaker 1: just for fun every day play in that reality and
Speaker 1: create for myself the joy that comes from feeling that.
Speaker 1: Then what I'm doing is I am giving myself the
Speaker 1: gift in the now of the joy that I feel
Speaker 1: only comes from some future achievement. This is where our
Speaker 1: power lives. It doesn't have to be about the end game.
Speaker 1: We always hear. It's about the journey. And I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm understanding that and internalizing that more than ever,
Speaker 1: and aligning myself with the feelings of the journey that
Speaker 1: stimulate joy right in my being, that stimulate excitement in
Speaker 1: my being. And what I believe, because I do believe
Speaker 1: of everything is energy, that the more joyful I am,
Speaker 1: the more excited I am about the thing that I
Speaker 1: haven't even created yet. I really believe that that's going
Speaker 1: to keep my energy moving toward creating that thing. As
Speaker 1: an example, when I was writing Big Love, I was
Speaker 1: really focused on visualizing the book deal I would get
Speaker 1: and talking to the editor and seeing my book in bookstores.
Speaker 1: And you know what, I didn't know that that was
Speaker 1: going to happen. But what I can tell you with
Speaker 1: certainty is it was a lot more fun for me
Speaker 1: to be living in that mode as I was putting
Speaker 1: together a book proposal than living in Oh, no one's
Speaker 1: gonna like this, and I don't even think it's gonna sell.
Speaker 1: And what's the point of this? And why wouldn't I
Speaker 1: give myself the gift of living in that excitement and energy?
Speaker 1: And even if the book didn't sell, I had given
Speaker 1: myself weeks of focused excitement, and that is a gift.
Speaker 1: And why wouldn't we do this for ourselves? In both cases,
Speaker 1: if you're visualizing that your book is the success and
Speaker 1: get to talk to the editor of the New Yorker
Speaker 1: or whatever, your visualization was right, if you're visualizing that,
Speaker 1: or you're visualizing that you write this book proposal and
Speaker 1: no one picks it up and it never goes anywhere.
Speaker 1: In either case, you're making that up. As in the
Speaker 1: future is not told. We don't know, you know. I'll
Speaker 1: say this to coaching clients jokingly. Sometimes they'll be telling
Speaker 1: me all about the future what's going to happen. I'm like,
Speaker 1: if your brain knows the future, you and I need
Speaker 1: to head to the race track and start betting on
Speaker 1: the ponies, right Because we don't know the future. So
Speaker 1: in both those cases, we're making it up. So if
Speaker 1: we're gonna be making a story, why not make up
Speaker 1: one that empowers us? Now, I, as I'm saying all this,
Speaker 1: am thinking right now reflecting on the ways in my
Speaker 1: life right now that I am telling myself non empowering
Speaker 1: stories that I'm telling myself that's not going to work.
Speaker 1: What if that doesn't work, that's going to turn out bad?
Speaker 1: You know. And again, there's a difference between me strategically
Speaker 1: thinking through my options in the future and what do
Speaker 1: I want to invest my time in and making the
Speaker 1: best decision I can. So that has to happen, and
Speaker 1: that has to happen with some degree of rationality. You know.
Speaker 1: If I'm thinking about, well, what do we want to
Speaker 1: do with the one you feed next year, I've got
Speaker 1: to be thinking somewhat clearly about what that is. But
Speaker 1: once I set that aside, then yeah, why not tell
Speaker 1: ourselves stories? If we're visualizing the future either way, why
Speaker 1: not visualize the future that has things turning out the
Speaker 1: way we want, especially because we know our mind is
Speaker 1: going to do the opposite. Naturally, our mind will naturally
Speaker 1: give itself over to all the nightmare scenarios that could
Speaker 1: happen from any sort of brave choice we make. Right,
Speaker 1: So we know that that's an automatic response of our mind.
Speaker 1: So for me, I understand that I need to be
Speaker 1: more proactive about considering the benefits of my choices, about
Speaker 1: considering the things that I want to achieve. And why
Speaker 1: wouldn't we Again, it always keeps coming back to that.
Speaker 1: And I don't say this from this you know, woo
Speaker 1: woo place. I'm not reflecting on all of this from
Speaker 1: this ungrounded place. I'm reflecting on all of this through
Speaker 1: looking at the way in which my thoughts impact how
Speaker 1: I feel in my day to day and becoming more
Speaker 1: of an active director and active conductor in them, and
Speaker 1: that I'm seeing day in and day out that when
Speaker 1: I do that with more intention and more consciously, I
Speaker 1: am creating for myself a wholly better reality in my life.
Speaker 1: And we can apply that to every aspect of our lives,
Speaker 1: to our relationships, to our relation ships with humans, to
Speaker 1: our relationships with the news to our relationships with social media.
Speaker 1: You know, the more conscious we become of the choices
Speaker 1: we're making, and the more we understand that we don't
Speaker 1: have to feel like shit all the time. It is
Speaker 1: not a rule, right, and we have power over that.
Speaker 1: In the power that we carry, it is limitless. It's
Speaker 1: not limitless from the perspective that I'm going to become
Speaker 1: a tennis player. I'm not saying it from that a
Speaker 1: pro tennis player. I'm saying it from the perspective of because,
Speaker 1: like you said, we have no idea what the future holds.
Speaker 1: Why would we put limits on what we're able to
Speaker 1: make of our future? Why would I sell myself short?
Speaker 1: I don't have to. Why would I lock myself into
Speaker 1: my fearful thoughts? It's not necessary. I can allow for them.
Speaker 1: They're going to come anyway, even if I don't allow
Speaker 1: for them. But it's like I don't have to abide
Speaker 1: by them. I can get in the habit and have
Speaker 1: gotten in the habit when my mind is telling me
Speaker 1: untruths In any time I believe our minds are suggesting
Speaker 1: that we are somehow less than or unworthy, that is
Speaker 1: a lie. I don't go to war with my mind
Speaker 1: the way I used to. But I absolutely shut it up.
Speaker 1: I'm like, that's a lie. I don't believe that. I
Speaker 1: don't align with that. I hear you, but I'm not
Speaker 1: internalizing that information anymore, because when I internalized the lies
Speaker 1: of my mind, I made myself sick. I felt like crap.
Speaker 1: I was living in my fear. I wasn't sharing myself
Speaker 1: the way I'm able to now. And it's like, it's
Speaker 1: okay to call your mind out when it's lying. It's
Speaker 1: okay to say that's not true for me, you know.
Speaker 1: And what I feel is truth. Eric. When I feel
Speaker 1: most connected to what feels like my truth, it's when
Speaker 1: I am aligned with love. That's when I feel like
Speaker 1: i'm connected to source. When the information pouring through me
Speaker 1: is just love yourself and everyone else. Love yourself and
Speaker 1: everyone else, even that guy, yes, even that guy, even
Speaker 1: that horrible person, yes, even that person. Love love, love.
Speaker 1: And when I'm in that space, I feel at home.
Speaker 1: When I get out of that space, i'm out of
Speaker 1: alignment and I can feel it, and I act out
Speaker 1: of that space a lot, because we're human again, you know.
Speaker 1: But it's like when I can pull myself back into
Speaker 1: alignment with love, into the that that source energy within
Speaker 1: me that is boundless and loving and compassionate all the time,
Speaker 1: I feel most at home and most at peace, and
Speaker 1: that's where I want to live. That's a beautiful way
Speaker 1: to wrap up that topic, and I'm going to add
Speaker 1: anything to it. I did want to change directions here
Speaker 1: before we run out of time to ask you questions
Speaker 1: something I read again. I was sort of trolling your
Speaker 1: Facebook to pick up some potential topics for this, and
Speaker 1: you wrote, I'm getting really intentional about creating more connection
Speaker 1: and joy in my life, and shocker, I seem to
Speaker 1: be creating more connection and enjoy in my life. So
Speaker 1: besides what we've talked about here, which is saying, all right,
Speaker 1: I'm going to be very intentional about what thoughts I
Speaker 1: allowed to take up a lot of space in my brain,
Speaker 1: what are other things that you're doing to create more
Speaker 1: connection and joy in your life? I'll answer that, but
Speaker 1: I want to answer it in a way for listeners
Speaker 1: to consider the things that you can be doing to
Speaker 1: add more connection and enjoy in your life, which is
Speaker 1: to say, I believe that we all intuitively know what
Speaker 1: we need to be doing to take care of ourselves,
Speaker 1: and it's just about paying attention to the choices we're making.
Speaker 1: So for me, taking walks outside in nature is probably
Speaker 1: number one joy and peace creator in my life. So
Speaker 1: I know that when I'm actively doing that, I am
Speaker 1: adding to my life in a joyful and peaceful way.
Speaker 1: You know, meditation can be one of those things. For me.
Speaker 1: Dancing what I've been doing lately, which isn't something I've
Speaker 1: ever done before, and I kind of can't believe I've
Speaker 1: never done it before. But when I get out of
Speaker 1: bed after maybe peeing, turning on music loudly and dancing
Speaker 1: for like three or four songs, just dancing my ass
Speaker 1: off and starting the day with this joyful, exuberant, excited entergy.
Speaker 1: Even when if I wake up in this like cloudy,
Speaker 1: foggy place and think, well, I'm not going to do
Speaker 1: that today, I turn that music on and I dance,
Speaker 1: and what I feel is joy. And what I understand
Speaker 1: is that I am entering my day with this momentum
Speaker 1: of joy and this momentum of energy, and that guides
Speaker 1: me into my day in a really positive way. As
Speaker 1: far as connection, it's about being really conscious about reaching
Speaker 1: out to people whom I love. And so what I
Speaker 1: encourage you to do is to look at the things
Speaker 1: in your life that tend to create joy. You know,
Speaker 1: I don't believe we can automatically just say I choose
Speaker 1: joy and then suddenly we're living in joy. I believe
Speaker 1: we can absolutely think about the things that we can
Speaker 1: do in our lives that create joy and do more
Speaker 1: of those things, and what we're likely to find is
Speaker 1: that we're feeling more joyful. Right And it's the same
Speaker 1: way for connection. It's the same way for love. It's
Speaker 1: the same way for anything. By the way, it's the
Speaker 1: same way for misery. Like stay in relationships where you
Speaker 1: feel disrespected, and you're likely to feel disrespected more often
Speaker 1: in your life. You know, foster relationships where you feel
Speaker 1: people are are seeing you and accepting you and loving you,
Speaker 1: and you're likely to feel more accepted and seen and
Speaker 1: loving in your life. For me, Eric, this is like
Speaker 1: one plus one equals to spirituality. These are the most
Speaker 1: simple concepts. Pay attention to your choices. Make more choices
Speaker 1: that have you feeling good and fewer that have you
Speaker 1: feeling depleted, and your life changes overnight. And I know
Speaker 1: all the things we've been talking about today. So much
Speaker 1: of it is very simple to say and not always
Speaker 1: as easy to do. It takes practice, But why wouldn't
Speaker 1: we be practiced. Why wouldn't we practice it creating more
Speaker 1: joy and peace in our lives, because the alternative is
Speaker 1: we're sitting in misery, you know what I mean. It's like,
Speaker 1: why wouldn't we be giving our energy over to things
Speaker 1: that make us feel better, you know, as often as possible,
Speaker 1: and see what it does? And if what you see
Speaker 1: is that, oh my god, I've been having my energy
Speaker 1: over to this thing that makes me feel joyful for
Speaker 1: half an hour a day and I'm noticing a shift like, hey,
Speaker 1: I'm feeling a little more joyful. It's not by accident,
Speaker 1: and that's where our power lives. On one hand, I agree,
Speaker 1: it's one plus one equals to do more things that
Speaker 1: make you feel good, You're gonna feel better, pretty straightforward.
Speaker 1: Joy has been on my mind a lot lately, and
Speaker 1: I've been digging deeper into it because I started to
Speaker 1: reflect on I think I've done a pretty good job
Speaker 1: of eliminating the thought patterns and emotional patterns in my
Speaker 1: life that caused me misery the ones that dragged me down,
Speaker 1: the ones that caused me anxiety and angst. And I
Speaker 1: feel like I've done a pretty good job of just
Speaker 1: sort of being like, all right, you're out, I'm not
Speaker 1: entertaining you, you're not hanging around. But that didn't necessarily,
Speaker 1: in my case, translate to joy. And so dance as
Speaker 1: an example, I have started to think dancing that seems
Speaker 1: to be something that makes me feel her. But I
Speaker 1: would not have arrived at that conclusion on my own.
Speaker 1: In perhaps a million years, would I ever have by
Speaker 1: myself thought I should dance more. It was only by
Speaker 1: hearing other people say, and I thought, well, I guess
Speaker 1: I'll give it a shot, and go, oh that I
Speaker 1: kind of like that feels good. I think for me,
Speaker 1: I'm starting to realize that I've got these practices that
Speaker 1: I do that are very good well being practices. My exercise,
Speaker 1: my meditation, my sleeping well, my eating well, all those things,
Speaker 1: and I think those have really stabilized and given me
Speaker 1: a point of general well being. But that next level
Speaker 1: of joy, I guess what I'm learning is I have
Speaker 1: things to learn there. But I think it's all the
Speaker 1: process too, right. It's like what you said earlier, for
Speaker 1: me is a miracle. Like you, you said you've gotten
Speaker 1: really good at you didn't say pushing away. But like
Speaker 1: the thoughts, they create misery. And this is someone who
Speaker 1: said earlier in the program that depression is something that's
Speaker 1: been a part of your life. And so for me,
Speaker 1: that's a miracle like that. That for me is a
Speaker 1: show that when we're intentional and active in our practices
Speaker 1: and the work we do, it yields results. When you
Speaker 1: commit yourself to something, that's something happens. There's no other possibility,
Speaker 1: you know, I've I've said before, when you commit yourself
Speaker 1: to grow, you grow. That's what happens. That's why I
Speaker 1: believe so much that it just takes practice. These things
Speaker 1: don't happen overnight. We all want the Panacey, and we
Speaker 1: all want the one pill that's gonna suddenly make us
Speaker 1: joyful and happy. But it's also no no surprise to
Speaker 1: me or no accident that you've been getting in touch
Speaker 1: with people now where dance keeps coming up because you
Speaker 1: have cleared energetically some space in your life where you're
Speaker 1: not mired in misery in the same way or whatever
Speaker 1: it was for you, whatever our stories are, and we
Speaker 1: all have our stories. You've cleared some space now where
Speaker 1: it's like other opportunities are presenting themselves. Hey try this,
Speaker 1: Hey try this. Hey this might make you smile, Hey
Speaker 1: this might get you excited. Hey this might bring you joy.
Speaker 1: And you'll play with some and will stick with the
Speaker 1: ones that you like, and you'll discard the ones you don't,
Speaker 1: And then suddenly you're finding yourself living with more joy.
Speaker 1: Joy wasn't a focus of mine either, Eric, and it's
Speaker 1: become such a focus of mine lately. And because it's
Speaker 1: such a focus, and because I'm being so intentional about
Speaker 1: creating it, I'm living with more joy in my life.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh my god, this feels good, you know,
Speaker 1: Like I would say, peace has been a real focus
Speaker 1: in my life. I like to create more peace. I
Speaker 1: like to live with a lot of ease, and I'm
Speaker 1: able to create that and generate that in my life
Speaker 1: more easily than ever. But now I'm like, I want
Speaker 1: to celebrate more. The world is telling us that we
Speaker 1: should be miserable. From every angle. We are assaulted with
Speaker 1: news and ideas that this world is nothing but a
Speaker 1: violent and ugly place, and there is violence and there's
Speaker 1: a lot of ugliness, and there's a lot to work
Speaker 1: on and work through and heal. Yes, and there's a
Speaker 1: whole other world that exists that is about beauty and
Speaker 1: joy and celebration and love. And by the way, when
Speaker 1: we're working with these energies, this is part of the
Speaker 1: way we heal those other things. Yeah, I could not
Speaker 1: agree more with everything you just said there. I think
Speaker 1: like you, I would say I have had a lot
Speaker 1: of focus on ease, creating more ease, and I think
Speaker 1: I've done a really good job of that. But like you,
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm drawn into celebration. I'm feeling drawn
Speaker 1: into joy. I'm feeling drawn towards a slightly higher level
Speaker 1: of it. And I think it is we just keep
Speaker 1: exploring and see what works. Yeah, and there's no downside
Speaker 1: to it. That's the other thing I really feel in
Speaker 1: my heart is it's like there's no downside to it.
Speaker 1: I think that we live at a time where a
Speaker 1: lot of us feel guilty about being joyful when there's
Speaker 1: so much pain in the world, and so we quiet
Speaker 1: our joy because it feels somehow disrespectful to the other
Speaker 1: experiences going on. I really love to see people celebrating.
Speaker 1: I I feel like we need to see more people
Speaker 1: who are honoring their joy, in expressing it, in allowing
Speaker 1: that energy to be contagious, and see what that creates
Speaker 1: in our world. The same way. Love is contagious, and
Speaker 1: we know I believe love is our greatest healer. So
Speaker 1: the more of us who are centered in love and
Speaker 1: expressing love and sharing love from a grounded place. Not
Speaker 1: This isn't woo woo stuff. This is understanding the power
Speaker 1: of love. We all know it intuitively, even the most
Speaker 1: insensitive among us. No love to be the thing we're
Speaker 1: all longing for the most right, and this energy is contagious.
Speaker 1: So that's what I'm about. That's what I'm about, as
Speaker 1: much as ever and more than ever right now. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm going to leave it there, Scott. I think you
Speaker 1: sort of summed up so much of it beautifully there.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to try and add anything to it.
Speaker 1: You and I are going to talk a little bit
Speaker 1: more in the post show conversation. I'm going to talk
Speaker 1: with you a little bit about your new podcast, and
Speaker 1: I also want to talk about some interesting conversations you
Speaker 1: had on there around Guru's Teachers Guides coaches, all that
Speaker 1: sort of stuff. How we work with those sort of people. Listeners.
Speaker 1: If you're interested in the post show conversation, a special
Speaker 1: episode I do each week called Teaching Song and a Poem,
Speaker 1: AD free episodes, and the joy of supporting an independent
Speaker 1: podcast that needs your support, you can go to One
Speaker 1: You Feed dot net slash joint Scott, thanks so much
Speaker 1: for coming on. It's always such a pleasure to talk
Speaker 1: with you. Yeah, thank you, brother, I love talking to you.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. If what you just heard was
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