1 00:00:00,720 --> 00:00:03,560 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need 2 00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:07,080 Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more. You 3 00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:10,959 Speaker 1: know the drill. Submitters Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot 4 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:13,680 Speaker 1: com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading 5 00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:16,239 Speaker 1: your letter live on the air, just like we're gonna 6 00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:19,919 Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now. Could be never know. 7 00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:22,720 Speaker 1: Hold on tight, we got it for you here. It 8 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:27,200 Speaker 1: is the Strawberry Letter. Thank you, nephew. Subject I married 9 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:32,800 Speaker 1: a social media thought. Okay, Dear Stephen Shirley, I really 10 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:35,640 Speaker 1: hope you can help. I am forty one and my 11 00:00:36,159 --> 00:00:38,839 Speaker 1: husband is forty three years old. We've been together for 12 00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:43,000 Speaker 1: a total of thirteen years and married for ten. Throughout 13 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:46,239 Speaker 1: our relationship, there have been situations where my husband was 14 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:50,200 Speaker 1: getting attention from lots of different women and entertaining them 15 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:53,880 Speaker 1: on the side. This is all before social media got 16 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:56,880 Speaker 1: amped up. I would notice him buying new clothes or 17 00:00:56,920 --> 00:01:00,240 Speaker 1: working out more, and I just knew some women, some 18 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:02,880 Speaker 1: woman must have complimented him or told him he had 19 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:07,040 Speaker 1: nice arms or something. He has always been thirsty for attention, 20 00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:10,080 Speaker 1: and my mother tells him he's a big flirt. Within 21 00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:13,480 Speaker 1: the past four years, he joined three social media apps 22 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:17,320 Speaker 1: and just and he justified it by saying Facebook was 23 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:20,280 Speaker 1: to keep up with his old friends, Instagram was to 24 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:23,200 Speaker 1: get news alerts and sports news, and Twitter was to 25 00:01:23,319 --> 00:01:26,840 Speaker 1: keep up with our former president. And from the very 26 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:29,560 Speaker 1: beginning I knew I was going to have problems if 27 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:32,600 Speaker 1: he was able to connect with females through these apps. 28 00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:37,720 Speaker 1: He went from posting for self posing for selfies to 29 00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:40,959 Speaker 1: having photoshoots with me, taking pictures of him no matter 30 00:01:40,959 --> 00:01:44,679 Speaker 1: where we were. I jokingly asked him to get in 31 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:47,840 Speaker 1: the pictures with him, and he always tells me next time. 32 00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:51,120 Speaker 1: My male coworker has an Instagram account and I asked 33 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:53,880 Speaker 1: him if he follows my husband's account. He said he 34 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:56,920 Speaker 1: unfollowed him because of all the stuff he posts. I 35 00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:59,440 Speaker 1: look at it, looked at his page and he's got 36 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:04,760 Speaker 1: pictures himself shirtless, pictures of himself flexing and muscle shirts, 37 00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:07,560 Speaker 1: and a whole lot of selfies. He looks like a 38 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:12,160 Speaker 1: thought that's single and ready to mingle. I joined Instagram 39 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,560 Speaker 1: without him knowing, so now I see what he posts 40 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:17,320 Speaker 1: every day. I told him that he's doing way too 41 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:20,120 Speaker 1: much on social media. He said what he's doing is 42 00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:29,480 Speaker 1: fun and harmless. Is this normal for a man or not? Well, okay, 43 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:31,880 Speaker 1: it is rare. I have to agree with you that 44 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:36,000 Speaker 1: men are are thoughts on Instagram, So no, this is 45 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:40,120 Speaker 1: not normal. You see female influencers, you see female models 46 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:43,639 Speaker 1: all the time, but men not so much. And for 47 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:46,919 Speaker 1: someone like your husband, who you say, love's attention, this 48 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,320 Speaker 1: is a perfect vehicle for him. He can get the 49 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:52,720 Speaker 1: likes from all over the world several times a day. 50 00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:56,560 Speaker 1: And this is the problem you his wife had to 51 00:02:56,720 --> 00:03:00,359 Speaker 1: have to live with his newfound fame every day. I mean, 52 00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:03,600 Speaker 1: you know you said he was cheating before. Well he's 53 00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:07,000 Speaker 1: brand new now. It's all about him and he's caught up. 54 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:09,160 Speaker 1: I mean, he doesn't even want you to take pictures 55 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:11,280 Speaker 1: with him. You could take pictures of him, but not 56 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:14,800 Speaker 1: with him. You're his wife, so you know there's a 57 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:18,200 Speaker 1: problem right there in his mind. A picture with you 58 00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:21,080 Speaker 1: would probably be blocking. You know, all the tension he's 59 00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:25,600 Speaker 1: getting your attention. Your mother sees. Your mother sees it. 60 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:29,000 Speaker 1: She says he's a big flirt. And yes, that's what 61 00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:32,240 Speaker 1: he's doing on social media. He's letting the ladies slide 62 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:35,480 Speaker 1: into his dms, comment on his posts, and follow him 63 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:39,480 Speaker 1: all of that now. Does he need that much validation? 64 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:44,800 Speaker 1: Does he? How insecure and narcissistic is this man you married? 65 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:47,480 Speaker 1: I mean, not too many grown men have time or 66 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:51,440 Speaker 1: money to do all this that he's doing photo shoots 67 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:56,000 Speaker 1: and stuff selfies all the time. Your marriage is in trouble. 68 00:03:56,440 --> 00:04:00,240 Speaker 1: It is because your husband is immature and his attention 69 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:04,119 Speaker 1: is elsewhere and it's not on you, and you recognize 70 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:07,200 Speaker 1: that problem. You gotta tell him. You know, this is 71 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:12,040 Speaker 1: not fun, It is not harmless. It's very harmful to you. 72 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:14,160 Speaker 1: You know that's what he thinks. But that's not it. 73 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:16,640 Speaker 1: It's hurting you, and you need to let him know. 74 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:20,920 Speaker 1: He's a grown man. He needs to be off Instagram posing, 75 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:25,159 Speaker 1: you know, and paying attention to you in his marriage. Steve, 76 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,440 Speaker 1: you know this letter right here. I just want to 77 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:33,760 Speaker 1: help you out, sister. With your words. I've diagnosed this 78 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:37,279 Speaker 1: entire letter. Just Stephen Shirley, I hope you can help. 79 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:41,200 Speaker 1: Forty one, husband's forty three, been together, thirteen years married 80 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:46,120 Speaker 1: teen Throughout our relationship, there have been situations where my 81 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:50,560 Speaker 1: husband was getting attention from lots of different women and 82 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:55,880 Speaker 1: entertaining them on the side. What do you mean by 83 00:04:56,200 --> 00:05:02,920 Speaker 1: entertaining them? And you know this, and you've been going 84 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:08,839 Speaker 1: along with it, calling it entertaining. That's what you called it. Okay, 85 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:12,599 Speaker 1: all right, lady, this was all before social media got 86 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:15,960 Speaker 1: amped up. I noticed him buying new clothes or working 87 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:18,640 Speaker 1: out more than just some woman mustn't complimented him or 88 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:22,159 Speaker 1: told him he had nice arms or something. He's always 89 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:26,799 Speaker 1: been thirsty for attention, and my mother tells him he's 90 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:29,400 Speaker 1: a big flirt. Now, let me ask you a question. 91 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:37,240 Speaker 1: How does your mama know that your husband is a 92 00:05:37,279 --> 00:05:41,400 Speaker 1: big flirt? I mean, hold on, lady, If you can't 93 00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:44,720 Speaker 1: keep it from your mother in law, you ain't even trying. 94 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:49,760 Speaker 1: How is your mother in law diagnosing your husband for you, 95 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,560 Speaker 1: like all of a sudden, your mama bringing you some 96 00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:57,119 Speaker 1: brand new news. Lady, you in denial. Within the past 97 00:05:57,160 --> 00:06:01,000 Speaker 1: four years, he's doing three social media apps. He's justified 98 00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:03,359 Speaker 1: by saying Facebook was to keep up with his old friends, 99 00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:06,000 Speaker 1: Instagram was to get news alerts and sports news, and 100 00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:09,960 Speaker 1: Twitter was keep up with our former president. What okay, Facebook, 101 00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:13,400 Speaker 1: keep up with old friends? Got that that's coming, But 102 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:18,200 Speaker 1: don't know damn body get on Instagram to get news 103 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:24,520 Speaker 1: alerts and sports news. That ain't even what Instagram is 104 00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:29,120 Speaker 1: about right, So how you fail for that? You stupid? 105 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:33,840 Speaker 1: And then he got on Twitter to keep up with 106 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:39,720 Speaker 1: our former president. What he don't have a Twitter account? 107 00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:42,440 Speaker 1: Hang god, we'll have part two of you, Oh are 108 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:45,880 Speaker 1: you stupid? Coming up at twenty three minutes after the 109 00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:49,599 Speaker 1: hour Today's Strubberry letters subject I married a social media thought. 110 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:52,599 Speaker 1: We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening 111 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:58,880 Speaker 1: to Steve Morning Show. Come on, Steve, let's recap today's 112 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:03,400 Speaker 1: letters right quickly. Lady been learned to this man for 113 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:07,960 Speaker 1: thirteen years. Had trouble throughout the relationships. Been in situation 114 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:10,880 Speaker 1: your husband getting attention from lots of different women and 115 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:13,960 Speaker 1: entertaining them on the side. So you want to call 116 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:17,440 Speaker 1: it entertaining them on the side. So he's had women 117 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:20,520 Speaker 1: on the side and you know about it, but you 118 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:23,960 Speaker 1: not called it cheating. You calling it entertaining them on 119 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:27,280 Speaker 1: the side. Okay, that's not This was all before social 120 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:31,040 Speaker 1: media got up, and then you knew some women was 121 00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:34,200 Speaker 1: complimenting about his nice arms and stuff. And he's always 122 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:37,200 Speaker 1: been thirsty four attention. My mother told him he's a 123 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:41,280 Speaker 1: big flirt. And my question was, how did your mama 124 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:44,240 Speaker 1: know that your husband is a big flirt, because if 125 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:46,800 Speaker 1: you can't hide that from your mother in law, you 126 00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:49,920 Speaker 1: ain't even trying. So your mother in lawst them diagnose 127 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:53,200 Speaker 1: your marriage for you, and you act like it's brand 128 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:56,520 Speaker 1: new news. Now. He didn't got on Facebook to keep 129 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:59,800 Speaker 1: up with his old friend, Instagram to get news alert 130 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:02,640 Speaker 1: to sports news, and Twitter to keep up with our 131 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:06,840 Speaker 1: former president. Like I said before, keeping up with old 132 00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:10,760 Speaker 1: friends on Facebook, that's comment, okay, but don't nobody go 133 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:16,360 Speaker 1: on I g for news alerts and sports that ain't 134 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:18,960 Speaker 1: I don't know if you're familiar with. They got this 135 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:22,640 Speaker 1: thing out now called SportsCenter that really tells you everything 136 00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:25,440 Speaker 1: you need to know. They got an app that breaks 137 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:28,960 Speaker 1: the news for you, so you believe. And then he 138 00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:31,840 Speaker 1: asks a Twitter to keep up with our former president. 139 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:36,160 Speaker 1: I don't know how smart you are, but Twitter has 140 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:40,679 Speaker 1: banned Donald Trump. He don't have a Twitter account, so 141 00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:44,560 Speaker 1: how you fail for this is beyond me. From the 142 00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:47,080 Speaker 1: very beginning, I knew I was gonna have a problem 143 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:50,319 Speaker 1: if he was able to connect with females through these apps. 144 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:54,680 Speaker 1: He went from posing or with selfish to have taking 145 00:08:54,679 --> 00:08:57,160 Speaker 1: photos shoots with me taking pictures of him no matter 146 00:08:57,200 --> 00:09:00,160 Speaker 1: where we were I jokingly asked him to get in 147 00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:03,040 Speaker 1: the pictures, and he always tells me next time, excuse me, 148 00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:08,760 Speaker 1: why are you joking? What? What's funny about this to you? 149 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:14,400 Speaker 1: And secondly, why are you the photographer? I don't understand. 150 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:17,480 Speaker 1: He got you taking pictures of him everywhere he going. 151 00:09:17,559 --> 00:09:19,960 Speaker 1: You know he's gonna post him, but you taking the 152 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:25,160 Speaker 1: damn pictures. Yeah, you in on the crime. You're aiding 153 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:28,480 Speaker 1: and abetting, you assisting you in the car with the 154 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:33,880 Speaker 1: robbery picture with him, because he didn't told you next time. 155 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:38,600 Speaker 1: He is a next work, my male co worker has 156 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:40,840 Speaker 1: an Instagram account and I asked him if he follows 157 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:44,520 Speaker 1: my husband's account. He said he unfollowed him because of 158 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,840 Speaker 1: stuffy posts. Now, I'm gonna give you two reasons he 159 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:51,640 Speaker 1: told you this because number one, he don't like men 160 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:57,240 Speaker 1: who take manhole shots. These are called manhole shots, and 161 00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:59,920 Speaker 1: we ain't on Instagram looking at me and taking man 162 00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:04,079 Speaker 1: and whole shots. And then secondly, I got some new 163 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:05,920 Speaker 1: news for you in case you didn't know this, because 164 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:08,400 Speaker 1: you obviously don't know a lot of stuff. Your coworker 165 00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:14,600 Speaker 1: like it. Your co worker got feelings for you. So 166 00:10:14,679 --> 00:10:17,280 Speaker 1: now he trying to drop some knowledge on you, because 167 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:20,640 Speaker 1: obviously you ain't that swill, so I didn't quit follow 168 00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:23,560 Speaker 1: in your husband calls the stuff he posts. I looked 169 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:26,080 Speaker 1: at his page, and he's got pictures of himself shirtless, 170 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:28,320 Speaker 1: pictures of him flexing, and must of shirts and a 171 00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:33,560 Speaker 1: whole lot of selfies. He looks like a thought that's 172 00:10:33,559 --> 00:10:35,880 Speaker 1: single and ready to mingle. Keep that line in mind. 173 00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:38,400 Speaker 1: I joined Instagram without him knowing, so now I'll see 174 00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:40,760 Speaker 1: what he posts every day. I told him he's doing 175 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:43,880 Speaker 1: way too much on social media. He says he's what 176 00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:48,800 Speaker 1: he's doing is fun, fun and harmless. Is this normal 177 00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:52,600 Speaker 1: for a man or not? Let me answer that question first. 178 00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:57,400 Speaker 1: Hell no, it ain't normal. The only friend I got 179 00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:01,240 Speaker 1: that takes his shirt off on ig is Kevin Hart. 180 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:05,440 Speaker 1: And as soon as I get his body, as soon 181 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:09,640 Speaker 1: as I get Kevin Hart's body in adult size, I'm 182 00:11:09,679 --> 00:11:19,080 Speaker 1: taking mine off too. That's it. But Kevin makes money 183 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:22,560 Speaker 1: because he into fitness. So now let me take you. 184 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:25,480 Speaker 1: So let me teach you something. Remember this about men. 185 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:28,439 Speaker 1: When he say he's just doing it for fun and 186 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:31,920 Speaker 1: it's harmless, remember this about men. We don't do anything. 187 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:38,760 Speaker 1: We don't do nothing without a reason or purpose. And 188 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:41,160 Speaker 1: you provided the reason of the purpose and the letter 189 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:44,880 Speaker 1: of yourself. Because he's looking like a thought that's single 190 00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:49,880 Speaker 1: and ready to mingle. You said that. Now, if it's 191 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,880 Speaker 1: fun and harmless, then what are you doing it for? 192 00:11:55,559 --> 00:11:59,680 Speaker 1: See what is the purpose and the reason If you 193 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:05,040 Speaker 1: say it's for fun, I'm just listening to you. See 194 00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:07,679 Speaker 1: is he doing it just to read the comments? You 195 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:10,040 Speaker 1: need to read them comments, because that's what he's doing 196 00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:14,760 Speaker 1: it faults. I won't you, No, no, no no, See 197 00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:17,360 Speaker 1: he knows who who's dm to slide in? See that 198 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:20,360 Speaker 1: that that's you need to read these comments. If he's 199 00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:23,079 Speaker 1: doing it for fun and it's harmless. And remember, men 200 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:26,480 Speaker 1: don't do nothing without a reason or purpose. Everything we 201 00:12:26,559 --> 00:12:28,760 Speaker 1: do got every woman that's got a man know I'm 202 00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:32,400 Speaker 1: telling the truth. We don't do nothing for fun and harmlessness. 203 00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:36,960 Speaker 1: That ain't what we do. I'm lating. Let me just 204 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:39,160 Speaker 1: play something else, yo, mamma, know why he's doing it, 205 00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:45,960 Speaker 1: Cause he a big ass flirt. Now he's gonna stop, 206 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:49,080 Speaker 1: or you're gonna leave and let him take a little 207 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:54,040 Speaker 1: big ass arm somewhere else. All right, we'll stop it 208 00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:57,680 Speaker 1: right there. Steve. Thank you post your comments on today's 209 00:12:57,679 --> 00:13:00,640 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter and Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook, 210 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:04,120 Speaker 1: and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand now 211 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:06,720 Speaker 1: coming up at forty six minutes after the hour, Junior 212 00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:10,280 Speaker 1: and Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening to the 213 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:11,880 Speaker 1: Stave Harvey Morning Show