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Speaker 1: Guess what decision we're about to make horrible decisions. Hey guys,

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Speaker 1: welcome to another episode of horrible.

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Speaker 2: That might have been good. Yea, that was pretty good.

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Speaker 2: It's because I haven't been sucking good. So my vocal

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Speaker 2: cords are just it's it's just new. They're not damaged.

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Speaker 1: You just making it up, both of y'all. I'm your girl, Mandy.

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Speaker 2: V aka pay the Stallion aka that bitch.

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Speaker 1: What's up, y'all? I'm weezy, And today we have a guest.

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Speaker 1: Mandy and her know each other, but she's one of

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Speaker 1: my favorite TikTok people. And I don't even have a TikTok.

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Speaker 1: That's crazy that you don't have a TikTok. We watch

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Speaker 1: TikTok on Instagram, I watch it on Twitter, but people

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Speaker 1: like just send me things. And I was looking for

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Speaker 1: a guest because I feel like everybody's like interviewing dating

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Speaker 1: coaches recently, and they all have the same kind of

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Speaker 1: like mundane voice in a way, and it's kind of

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Speaker 1: annoying me. So I was like, damn, who could we

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Speaker 1: like interview that actually creates content around dating? And it

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Speaker 1: was perfect when I found you, especially, So wait, how

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Speaker 1: do y'all know each other through Chelsea. Yeah. So she's

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Speaker 1: the first woman who's ever left me speechless. I have

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Speaker 1: ever been speechless in my entire life. What was she

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Speaker 1: talking about as, Oh, yeah, I don't know what would

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Speaker 1: we talk about yourl I feel like I would say

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Speaker 1: some crazy shit that I did, and then my ship

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Speaker 1: seemed like PG to her. She would say something and

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Speaker 1: I started feeling got prude. I was like, well, I've

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Speaker 1: only pegged one guy. She was like, I know. I

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Speaker 1: was like, okay, you're talking about we were on street,

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Speaker 1: we were getting having a fancy ass dinner, talk about sucking.

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Speaker 1: But then also when when she was so everyone in

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Speaker 1: that group is married as partners, I'm the only single

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Speaker 1: bitch going around like just really trying to fig us

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Speaker 1: on this. This was no, this was a year, year

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Speaker 1: or two ago. You were a single year ago. Maybe

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Speaker 1: at the time, maybe at the time, maybe you know,

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Speaker 1: maybe I was on one of my thirteen brains. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I was on one of my I was on one

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Speaker 1: of my thirteen brains.

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Speaker 2: And we also go to Soho house and everyone's dancing.

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Speaker 2: Because this is when, by the way, shout out black

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Speaker 2: girls texting. They threw likes here in the summertime the

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Speaker 2: Soho house. So we're on the rooftop.

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Speaker 1: I look over and some of y'all saved the video

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Speaker 1: because everyone wanted to know who the hell you were.

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Speaker 1: This girl has one leg on the ground, the other

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Speaker 1: leg literally behind this man moving her ass. And I said, oh,

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Speaker 1: this is why you gotta ring. This is why you

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Speaker 1: getting it because I cannot do this. I might still

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Speaker 1: have it on my phone because you asked both in

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Speaker 1: my hands the ways the PA. I said, Oh, I

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Speaker 1: ain't never gonna get a man if I gotta do this, okay.

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Speaker 1: So it's not beauty, It's not just beauty and not

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Speaker 1: just brains.

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Speaker 2: She is fun, she like and I think that when

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Speaker 2: when you think of like beautiful girls who get rich

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Speaker 2: niggas or things like that. Like even to find out

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Speaker 2: like he graduated from fucking Columbia, which, bytom way, you

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Speaker 2: had a cute man that was in your class, and

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Speaker 2: I'm mad he moved back overseas, you know what I know.

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Speaker 2: And so I think to be in a group as

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Speaker 2: as myself who isn't seeking marriage and things like that,

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Speaker 2: it was really interesting to be around because there's Gabby,

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Speaker 2: there's Chelsea, there's all these women who literally want the

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Speaker 2: opposite of what I do. So when we all get together,

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Speaker 2: like there's just so many different narratives on how to

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Speaker 2: do things. And what's crazy too, is I know what

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Speaker 2: I've been coming on here saying, and we're gonna get

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Speaker 2: into dating.

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Speaker 1: I actually was told something not to do when dating.

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Speaker 2: Now now that I'm like going out dating from these

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Speaker 2: types of conversations, I've been actually told I am shooting

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Speaker 2: myself in the foot for going into dates saying I

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Speaker 2: don't want kids, I don't want marriage, I don't want

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Speaker 2: all the things that I talk about on this pod.

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Speaker 2: Because I told you that I was in a group.

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Speaker 2: It wasn't even a girl that I know. This was

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Speaker 2: in LA.

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Speaker 1: So we're all at talks and I'm like, yeah, girl,

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Speaker 1: I don't want this, I don't want this, and she

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Speaker 1: was like, oh, well, then if you go into dates

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Speaker 1: letting a guy know there's literally gonna be zero things

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Speaker 1: for him to show up and want to pursue with you. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: even as a man, say they don't even want those things. No,

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Speaker 1: but as soon as they know you don't want you,

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Speaker 1: that's interesting.

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Speaker 2: So literally it was like, oh no, go in and

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Speaker 2: say you want to ring summer Walker, go in.

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Speaker 1: And say you want a faithful man. Go in and

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Speaker 1: maybe because you want to be a mom, because they're

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Speaker 1: not our guests by the way, so you Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: think like man are exploitative in nature, And what I

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Speaker 1: mean by that is if you give them an inch,

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Speaker 1: they're going to take them out. Like I think that's

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Speaker 1: who they are. Like if you ask for the bare minimum,

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Speaker 1: they're gonna just give you less. But like that's just

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Speaker 1: that's just who they are humans. So I feel like

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Speaker 1: you need to set the bar so high to get

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Speaker 1: the bare ridimum. Like I think when you're going in

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Speaker 1: there and being like, oh, I don't want kids, I

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Speaker 1: don't want to ring, I don't want this, I don't

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Speaker 1: want that, then they're gonna be like, well, nigga, I'll

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Speaker 1: give you this. Yeah exactly, I'm not gonna give you shit.

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Speaker 1: Like I agree with you. I don't want any of

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Speaker 1: that too. But the fact that you don't want it,

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Speaker 1: why am I going to show up for you? You know,

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Speaker 1: what do you want? Then? A long term partners really matter? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I just feel like it's none of their fucking business

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Speaker 1: what you want. You know what I'm saying why because

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Speaker 1: they're not even really about to give you what you

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Speaker 1: what you really want, you know what I'm saying, Like

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Speaker 1: they're not sitting there actually trying to take notes, like

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Speaker 1: let me deliver what she fucking wants. No, we all

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Speaker 1: fuck they gonna give you what they want to give you,

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Speaker 1: so at least go in there and like have some requirements,

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Speaker 1: you know, like when you show up for a job interview.

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Speaker 1: You're not gonna go in there and be like, I

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Speaker 1: don't want no breaks, I don't want no bonus, I

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Speaker 1: don't want this, I don't want that. They're gonna be like, Okay, well,

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Speaker 1: we still not gonna give you any of that. But

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Speaker 1: the fact that you don't want it now we're thinking

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Speaker 1: about maybe I should give this to the next person,

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Speaker 1: or not only that, maybe I'll give it to you

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Speaker 1: and you're gonna show up and do all the things

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Speaker 1: and yeah, liver because you're gonna want me to give

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Speaker 1: you those things that. Yeah. So let me ask you

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Speaker 1: this because for some reason it's making me think of situationships.

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Speaker 1: Do you think that by a women saying she's not

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Speaker 1: looking for X y Z that she can possibly end

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Speaker 1: up in a situationship because there's not. Like A said,

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Speaker 1: I mean, it depends on the woman. Like I feel

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Speaker 1: like when you go into a situation and announce what

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Speaker 1: you don't want, you're setting your pigeonholing yourself, Like I

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Speaker 1: think you should keep that just close to the chest

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Speaker 1: so that if you do want to pivot, and if

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Speaker 1: you do end up wanting more, then great. It's always

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Speaker 1: easier to ask for more and then want less than

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Speaker 1: ask for less and then want and want in this

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Speaker 1: relationship though, and say, like, you know, even you saying

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Speaker 1: that you're not an emotional person or you don't want love,

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Speaker 1: I believe you said you don't want you need a kiss,

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Speaker 1: you don't need to do intimacy.

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Speaker 2: But that was so no, no, no no, So as of

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Speaker 2: right now, those are actually why I'm not in these

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Speaker 2: casual sex relationships anymore. I absolutely want kissing, I'm saying,

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Speaker 2: but from.

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Speaker 1: Before, so when I hear you today, I believe you

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Speaker 1: about nothing except kids. I think that if the right

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Speaker 1: person came in and really changed your life and made

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Speaker 1: you feel whole and you see yourself as a and

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Speaker 1: and he's on your level, I think that you can

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Speaker 1: understand marriage and you'd be like, yeah, why I think

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Speaker 1: you might even lock kids. I don't know, maybe not

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Speaker 1: like via yourself, like maybe via surrogate. You don't know.

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Speaker 2: So I'll be honest with you too in terms of marriage,

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Speaker 2: especially now, I think that marriage to me, and we

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Speaker 2: can get into what that looks like as well, because

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Speaker 2: y'all we got a lawyer, so we talking prenupts and

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Speaker 2: all the things. To me, marriage after realistically, this relationship

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Speaker 2: with you, the relationship with Bridget, those are partnerships. I

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Speaker 2: don't want no more with him, thanks, I ain't gonna

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Speaker 2: hold you. The idea of splitting assets, the idea of

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Speaker 2: actually really holding out in something that maybe doesn't make

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Speaker 2: me feel good in the moment, Like I can walk

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Speaker 2: away easier in friendships or boyfriend relationships than I've been

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Speaker 2: able to do from.

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Speaker 1: You or or Bridge. Maybe that is the idea of

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Speaker 1: a bit, maybe with your ex because he wasn't necessarily

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Speaker 1: the Krem de la Crem of niggas financially, but if

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Speaker 1: he was, you might want married.

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Speaker 2: But that's the thing then to me, am I just

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Speaker 2: marrying for money? As of right now, I'm in a

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Speaker 2: place where you don't have to. I don't have to

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Speaker 2: marry for money.

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Speaker 1: So here's why you had to make a partnership with me.

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Speaker 1: Can't speak for bridget. We're building something amazing and we

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Speaker 1: knew it was becoming financially lucrative, and that's why we

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Speaker 1: had to do that, and we to this day can't

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Speaker 1: even break that because that's how much our shit is worth.

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Speaker 1: If one of us wanted to leave, we'd be figuring

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Speaker 1: out what the fuck we would do with a small person.

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Speaker 1: At my point, if you built a relationship with someone

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Speaker 1: and started building an amazing life and building businesses and

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Speaker 1: having things that are more than just surface level, you

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Speaker 1: may want that marriage. And I imagine how brain works

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Speaker 1: with a friend when you build a business.

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Speaker 2: And that's my thing. I don't believe in friendships and business.

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Speaker 2: I don't believe in like navigating.

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Speaker 1: Those podcasts, even you've even made podcast that you produce, Like,

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Speaker 1: I'm just trying to get you to see beyond like

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Speaker 1: your no as more to your connection with a friend

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Speaker 1: is not as deep as the partner that may be

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Speaker 1: the one you end up with forever. Right, So if

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Speaker 1: you could decide to produce a podcast for friends, or

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Speaker 1: decide to get a take a fucking cruise with a

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Speaker 1: friend and do a vacation thing and do a club

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Speaker 1: night with them. You might come up with something bigger

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Speaker 1: and better with the man that's meant to be for you.

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Speaker 1: I'm telling you, I think when you meet someone that's

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Speaker 1: probably going to be your mate, they're going to fill

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Speaker 1: you up way more than your friends that are smart

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Speaker 1: and business minded. I mean, that's definitely, that's definitely true.

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Speaker 1: I think maybe marriage for you is not right now,

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Speaker 1: and that right now may never come. Also right right

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Speaker 1: it might. It might be not right now, and you

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Speaker 1: say that for the rest of your life, or you

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Speaker 1: might meet someone or ten people you never know right

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Speaker 1: that make you want to commit, that make you want

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Speaker 1: to not be able to easily walk away. Men are

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Speaker 1: better than the last men you dated. For like, I

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Speaker 1: don't know about that. I don't know about that. I

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Speaker 1: don't know.

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Speaker 2: But also I know about a lot of Like me

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Speaker 2: and my friends talk about all the partners they have,

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Speaker 2: some of y'all listen, none of them, niggas is good here.

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Speaker 1: There's not one man that any of my friend date

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Speaker 1: or that you would want to be what I would

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Speaker 1: want to be with. And so even when I look

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Speaker 1: back at my ex or any of the men honestly

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Speaker 1: throughout my twenties. And I know y'all, y'all are sick

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Speaker 1: of hearing about my ex When I look at even

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Speaker 1: all of the men that either made me cry that

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Speaker 1: I opened my legs too, that I sat here and

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Speaker 1: wanted to spend so much time with. When I look

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Speaker 1: at literally the like, I wish I could take all

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Speaker 1: that shit back. None of them niggas was good.

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Speaker 2: I look at a lot of them now, None of

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Speaker 2: them nigga would have fulfilled me or made me happy

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Speaker 2: and who I am today?

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Speaker 1: Like, so to be there, nah, you think do you think?

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Speaker 1: Do you do you think there's anyone who's happy? Well?

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Speaker 2: Man, So here's the thing. It's not even with And

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Speaker 2: I don't, of course want to make this mail back yeah,

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Speaker 2: because no, no, no, I don't think it is.

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Speaker 1: Well.

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Speaker 2: I know there's a lot of queer people that listen

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Speaker 2: to right, So in relationships as a whole, I think

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Speaker 2: that unfortunately we've gotten to a place where romantic relationships

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Speaker 2: have these impossible expectations. I agree, And so that's the problem.

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Speaker 2: So when I'm sitting here traveling with my friends, like

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Speaker 2: I just spent a fucking week in Abu Dhabi and

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Speaker 2: it was fucking amazing.

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Speaker 1: And what if you met a man that would buy

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Speaker 1: the grip with you in Abu Dhabi? I mean, but

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Speaker 1: that's what I'm saying. So that's still okay. Cool. Let

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Speaker 1: me sit here and get a sugar dady, let me

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Speaker 1: see here and make a transactional relationship.

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Speaker 2: That's fine. But when I sit here and think about

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Speaker 2: the the unrealistic expectations of a partner, and most romantically,

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Speaker 2: it's emotionally, it's financially it's you sit here and give

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Speaker 2: this person X amount of time to do you wrong.

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Speaker 1: Mind you a friend fuck up? One time you cut

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Speaker 1: them out, You cut them out. There's just all of

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Speaker 1: these things. And also you don't want to share a

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Speaker 1: romantic partner. You have these jealousies and these emotions that

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Speaker 1: you don't realize this with family or friends.

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Speaker 2: To me, those those types of relationships really are confusing

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Speaker 2: to me now because when I sit here and talk

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Speaker 2: to my friends about it, I'm like, why are we

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Speaker 2: doing this? Why are we suggesting subjecting ourselves? Well, what's

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Speaker 2: the other option?

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Speaker 1: If you are a woman who wants marriage and children,

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Speaker 1: what is our other option but to subject ourselves to

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Speaker 1: the bullshit. But also there's I love my work, like

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Speaker 1: I feel like I have amazing job, jobs whatever, like

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Speaker 1: nothing good comes without bullshit. No, I agree, agree, right,

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Speaker 1: so like I expect that it won't be worse. I agree,

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Speaker 1: And I think like our grandma's generation was so bad

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Speaker 1: where they were getting their ass bet every day, and

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Speaker 1: then I think one thing a new generation always does

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Speaker 1: is we swing the pendulum so far to the right

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Speaker 1: because we want to get away from this. And so

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Speaker 1: we've swung the pendulum so far to the right where

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Speaker 1: we're like, oh, he does this cut him off, Like

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna be like my mom. I'm not gonna

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Speaker 1: be like my grandma. And it's like, you know, there's

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Speaker 1: a middle ground. There's a middle ground, and we keep

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Speaker 1: doing this. It's the same thing that we did with

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Speaker 1: the whole like feminist movement. Right bitches over here, we're like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I don't I want to go to work, Like I

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Speaker 1: don't want to sit at home and make sandwiches. We

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Speaker 1: swung the pendulum so far to the right, being like

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Speaker 1: oh no, like now now everybody wants to stay at home.

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Speaker 1: Now everybody wants to rely on me. It's like we

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Speaker 1: can't seem to sit in a middle ground. We can't

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Speaker 1: seem to say, well, the reason why those women wanted

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Speaker 1: to go to work was because they couldn't fucking own

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Speaker 1: property or have a bank account without a man. And

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Speaker 1: the reason you bitches want to sit at home is

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Speaker 1: because going to work and working in nine to five

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Speaker 1: is not built for the female. You know, body, why

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Speaker 1: don't we find something in the middle ground and try

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Speaker 1: to find careers that fulfill us and that inspire us.

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Speaker 1: And you know, we can't make our money. But men

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Speaker 1: still are chivalrous and they're still masculine in all of that.

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Speaker 2: So do you lean into the patriarchy as a woman

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Speaker 2: who's a lawyer. Yeah, I don't know what your middle

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Speaker 2: ground is to how you've been able to achieve professional success. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but you've also been able to be very much into

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Speaker 2: your divine femininity to where you're not a masculine woman present.

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Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, your relationship you are. I actually disagree.

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Speaker 2: I think that your videos have ella masculine energy. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but in a good way.

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Speaker 1: Well, like the videos are one thing I'm talking about

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Speaker 1: in her relationship. Maybe the relationship, but I was gonna say,

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Speaker 1: you definitely give me like to me, that's why that's

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Speaker 1: why you see the comments where dudes are mad, they

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Speaker 1: don't get mad at the girls that have the soft attitude. Especially.

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Speaker 1: There's a video I like of you as I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to think, it's fresh on my mind because I look

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Speaker 1: this morning, you're in a workout outfit. Yeah, I'm talking

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Speaker 1: about your body looks amazing, beaut Okay, yes, anyway, you

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Speaker 1: know you guys tell me I don't know this, Like

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Speaker 1: I'm a layers two times anyway, and then you go

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Speaker 1: back into it and it's like it's so strong that

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Speaker 1: I feel like men even when they're looking at you,

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Speaker 1: be beautiful. You were in your kitchen, yeah, look dainty. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Just the assertiveness is masculinity to me. Well, to me,

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Speaker 1: the assertiveness is femininity. So to me, it's like, I

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Speaker 1: think right now, the way that things are being portrayed

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Speaker 1: as masculine is strong in your face, assertive, right, and

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Speaker 1: feminine is thinky and quiet and speaks like this, And

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Speaker 1: I just I don't, I don't. I don't believe that.

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Speaker 1: I think feminine is being strong, but being strong like

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Speaker 1: having this internal strength, right, and I think masculine is

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Speaker 1: a little bit more. I think it's like a roughness

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Speaker 1: that that isn't quite strategic, that isn't quite tailored. But

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Speaker 1: I think to be a strong woman and to be

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Speaker 1: assertive is to be extremely feminine. And the reason why

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Speaker 1: I want to push back on that is because for

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Speaker 1: so long we've lived in a society where the feminine

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Speaker 1: woman was the dainty, quiet woman. And what that's done

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Speaker 1: is it has made white women be extremely feminine, and

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Speaker 1: Black women and women of color be considered extremely because

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Speaker 1: they're assertive, because they're loud, because or they're exactly what

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Speaker 1: they want. Right. So I want to push back on

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Speaker 1: this notion of what is feminine and what is masculine,

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Speaker 1: and this idea that like the strong and the quiet

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Speaker 1: are the two worlds that we have to do. Yeah. No,

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Speaker 1: I am a feminine spoken woman. Yeah, who will like

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Speaker 1: fuck you up, period, you know what I mean? That's

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Speaker 1: who I am, Like I'm and and everyone. The way

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Speaker 1: that I am in my relationship is kind of a

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Speaker 1: mixture of that. Like I am feminine. I mean, you

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Speaker 1: have to understand, I was raised in a Middle Eastern culture,

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Speaker 1: in a Middle Eastern household. What does that mean? That

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Speaker 1: means literally, from the time that I was a child.

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Speaker 1: Everything I've done, everything that I was pushed to do,

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Speaker 1: was not to be great individually, but to be great

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Speaker 1: in order for a man to pick me for me'ron. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So like Middle Eastern Muslim household, you're just you're raised

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Speaker 1: to be a wife. Not every culture raises women to

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Speaker 1: be a wife, but you're raised to be a wife

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Speaker 1: from from the very beginning. You're like, let me go

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Speaker 1: to law school and get degrees. Not because I just

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Speaker 1: fucking am so excited to be a lawyer, but because

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Speaker 1: that's just going to increase That's what. That's where I'll

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Speaker 1: meet a man and that will increase my value and

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Speaker 1: potential of them finding a greater man. What were the

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Speaker 1: what were culturally the sexual like I don't know the

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Speaker 1: views maybe when you were growing up, because I know

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Speaker 1: with black women it's always like you're moving too fast

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Speaker 1: or this or that or like the thing that we're

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Speaker 1: not supposed to you know, do when we're growing up.

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Speaker 1: But what was it in Middle Eastern culture? Like I mean,

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Speaker 1: you're not supposed to do shit. We person you run,

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Speaker 1: You're not supposed to be doing shit. And I was

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Speaker 1: I was just a bad kid, like I've I had

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Speaker 1: a growth spur from sixth grade to seventh grade. So

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Speaker 1: I've been damn near six feet tall since I was

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Speaker 1: thirteen years old. I've looked exactly the same. The only

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Speaker 1: thing that's changed is my nose because I've got two

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Speaker 1: rundo plasties. But other than that, I've just looked exactly

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Speaker 1: the same. And you weren't allowed to do anything, you know,

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Speaker 1: like and I grew up in that household where my

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Speaker 1: mother wears the hit job, so we come from a

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Speaker 1: very religious household. When I was nine years old, I

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Speaker 1: decided I wanted to wear the hit job so I

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Speaker 1: could be like, you know, I'm a little girl. I

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Speaker 1: want to be just like my mom. It coincides a

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Speaker 1: nine to eleven, so I'm getting teased at school and

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Speaker 1: I come home and I tell my parents, yeah, about

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Speaker 1: that hit job, like I don't want to wear that anymore,

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Speaker 1: and they're like, no, no, you can't change your mind.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, you can't change your mind. I

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Speaker 1: can't change my mind. So from the time I was

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Speaker 1: twelve thirteen, I'm going to school like low Ki burk

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Speaker 1: it out and then I'm changing into the smallest mini

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Speaker 1: skirt and I'm like I'm a fast little girl. At

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Speaker 1: the time, I'm not telling people I'm twelve thirteen. I'm

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Speaker 1: going meeting guys in college who are seventeen eighteen, and

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Speaker 1: I'm doing the things. And it was bad. It got.

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Speaker 1: It got so bad that the way my dad found

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Speaker 1: out about everything, who and imagine he thinks I'm like

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Speaker 1: a good girl who's wearing a hit job. My mother

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Speaker 1: had a trip planned to Iran. He goes and drops

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Speaker 1: her off at the airport, and my little twelve thirteen

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Speaker 1: year old mind, I calculated that I had more time

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Speaker 1: than I actually did. Me and my little home best friend.

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Speaker 1: She comes over. We invite two guys who are college

401
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Speaker 1: football players. She's having full on sex with one in bed,

402
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Speaker 1: and I'm damn near naked. In a song, my dad

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Speaker 1: walks in, Ohls, my Middle Eastern Muslim father walks in

404
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:19,280
Speaker 1: and drops to his knees with black girl. Yes they

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Speaker 1: were black. So I just wanted to know because I

406
00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:26,760
Speaker 1: know it's worse and what happened, I mean, it was

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Speaker 1: just like a pause for a second. And my dad's

408
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Speaker 1: a big dude. My dad's six or four. My dad

409
00:19:31,359 --> 00:19:33,840
Speaker 1: was a bodybuilder. He trained with Arnold, So I get

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Speaker 1: the fuck out of here, and the guys they run out,

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Speaker 1: And the next day my parents took me to a

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Speaker 1: doctor to see if I was a vision or not.

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Speaker 1: Oh wait not then to pull on the TI on you.

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Speaker 1: And the wild part is I had never had sex, y'all.

415
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Speaker 1: I had never had sex. Okay, but your hymen can

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Speaker 1: rip in a variety of fucking ways.

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Speaker 2: And I will say that was that is one of

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Speaker 2: the myths that if you're in like anywhere from your

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Speaker 2: earth on, the idea was if your hymen was broken,

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Speaker 2: you had to have sex.

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Speaker 1: We now know you could do from riding a bike

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Speaker 1: from from I'll be honest, I think that even today

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00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:15,720
Speaker 1: that same propaganda's push though I don't think that in

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00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:18,159
Speaker 1: schools they're teaching that, Like, no, they're not. But I

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Speaker 1: think that I think our generation that you're cherry popping,

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00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:25,840
Speaker 1: cherry popping like it's something that we're all expecting. Yeah,

427
00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:28,199
Speaker 1: and you have to understand, I never, like, I never bled,

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Speaker 1: and I also used to think that whenever your cherry pops,

429
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:34,400
Speaker 1: you bleed. But there's hymens that don't bleed you could

430
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:37,760
Speaker 1: rip into. I don't know.

431
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:40,399
Speaker 2: I think the first time that I had actually was

432
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:42,320
Speaker 2: the first day of my period. So I bled like

433
00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:44,919
Speaker 2: for three days after I lost my virginity. But I

434
00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:47,080
Speaker 2: think it's because my period just came on and at

435
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,920
Speaker 2: that point I wasn't tracking when it came, like you

436
00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:52,760
Speaker 2: didn't have like the same idea of being in tune

437
00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:55,840
Speaker 2: with your body. So where I thought my cherry pops,

438
00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:59,600
Speaker 2: I bled like a period didn't day. So I never

439
00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:00,639
Speaker 2: really correlated that.

440
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:03,000
Speaker 1: Oh I remember. I remember the feeling. It felt like

441
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:06,159
Speaker 1: a pop. It was it could have been diction, I

442
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:09,840
Speaker 1: mean addiction, dictionary, definition. It was like everything about it

443
00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:11,919
Speaker 1: and it was a stream that came out and then

444
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:13,919
Speaker 1: it was finished. It was crazy. Oh oh yeah, No

445
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:18,600
Speaker 1: that I didn't have that. I didn't have that experience. Okay, yeah,

446
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:21,040
Speaker 1: but my dad took me and you know, it's against

447
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:24,400
Speaker 1: the fucking law. Like wait, what's against the law. You're

448
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,480
Speaker 1: not you're not you're not supposed to be taking your

449
00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:30,000
Speaker 1: daughter and like a lawyers asking whether or not her

450
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:32,120
Speaker 1: hymen is ripped, like you have to low ki, make

451
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:36,520
Speaker 1: a doctor tell you that you can't. That's a I

452
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:38,720
Speaker 1: don't know how t I did it, but I know

453
00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:42,360
Speaker 1: in California where I was at the time, they had

454
00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:45,480
Speaker 1: to tell the doctor like I remember the doctor distinctly

455
00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:48,119
Speaker 1: telling them I'm not allowed to share this information with you,

456
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:50,600
Speaker 1: and they were like, you know the doctor was also Persian.

457
00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:52,840
Speaker 1: They're like, come on, bro, like what's up. And she

458
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:54,639
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, her hymen's ripped. And I looked at

459
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:58,359
Speaker 1: the bitch, like, my hymen's ripped. I went home that

460
00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:01,560
Speaker 1: day and and they just even though even though I

461
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:03,840
Speaker 1: had never had sex, dude, I didn't even believe I

462
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:06,160
Speaker 1: was eighteen. No, still to this day, my parents don't

463
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:09,760
Speaker 1: fucking believe me. And I went home. My daddy, your

464
00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:11,520
Speaker 1: best friend, I know she was. She was getting getting

465
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:15,840
Speaker 1: down and I wasn't. My thongb so I contact booze

466
00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:19,640
Speaker 1: Yo soil evidence. My best friend growing up was Persian.

467
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:21,879
Speaker 1: Is it can I say Persian? Yeah? Okay, because some

468
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:25,520
Speaker 1: people say running yeah so everybody. I don't know if

469
00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:28,879
Speaker 1: it's because it's like they look Latina but they're but

470
00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:32,639
Speaker 1: there's a more exotic look. Black men go crazy for

471
00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:35,280
Speaker 1: Middle Eastern girls. Like in my high school, I remember

472
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:37,040
Speaker 1: maybe five girls and I was like, why are they

473
00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:40,160
Speaker 1: always get fucked? And I'm not, but they all say

474
00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:43,240
Speaker 1: we would go and sneak around to like city Walk.

475
00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:45,280
Speaker 1: It was this place in universe. So we'd go meet

476
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:47,640
Speaker 1: the boys, go to the club, come home. Yeah, her

477
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:49,879
Speaker 1: mom came in there, slapped the ship out of her,

478
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:51,440
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, am I in this too.

479
00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:57,040
Speaker 1: And I remember her mom specifically talking about how she

480
00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:59,040
Speaker 1: was supposed to be with someone else, and I think,

481
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:01,600
Speaker 1: even and I'm only thirty two, she had an arranged

482
00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:04,520
Speaker 1: marriage like ready now she ended up not getting married,

483
00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:07,440
Speaker 1: but I remember her telling me like, oh, like me

484
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:09,399
Speaker 1: going on and looking at boys is not what my

485
00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:13,280
Speaker 1: family wants. They're yeah, you don't. You don't do that,

486
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:17,240
Speaker 1: like you go through the traditional route of suitors come

487
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:20,080
Speaker 1: to your house. Yeah, tell us about that. Yeah, I

488
00:23:20,119 --> 00:23:24,080
Speaker 1: mean it were these suitors, like people in your freaking community,

489
00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:27,800
Speaker 1: Like okay, on a billboard what they do? No, it's

490
00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:31,600
Speaker 1: like think about you got you got your little aunts,

491
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:33,840
Speaker 1: you know, not your real aunts. And they have sons,

492
00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:35,760
Speaker 1: you know, and you go to like someone's wedding or

493
00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:37,960
Speaker 1: someone's party and they and they see you and they're like, oh,

494
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:40,919
Speaker 1: she's she's pretty, like she would be great for your son. Whatever,

495
00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:44,040
Speaker 1: and the entire family with the boys shows up to

496
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:46,840
Speaker 1: your house with gifts and whatever, and asks for your

497
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:50,080
Speaker 1: hand in marriage, being like Bridgitton, how you met them

498
00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:53,239
Speaker 1: before at this point? Yeah, I mean in that like

499
00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:56,720
Speaker 1: in in Iran right now and like the small villages, no,

500
00:23:56,840 --> 00:24:00,280
Speaker 1: it'll be your first time meeting them. But in more

501
00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:03,200
Speaker 1: recent modern times, yeah, it's like sometimes it's it's your man,

502
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:09,400
Speaker 1: but the families don't know hold so like they literally

503
00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:13,280
Speaker 1: come okay, how many like is it? I mean it

504
00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:16,159
Speaker 1: depends on how like and how suitable you are, and

505
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:18,560
Speaker 1: it depends like again where you are. So if you're

506
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:21,680
Speaker 1: in Iran, you start getting them at like fifteen sixteen,

507
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:23,680
Speaker 1: suit of the fifteen and how old are the men

508
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:27,080
Speaker 1: are they also fifteen sixteen or they're like nineteen twenty. Oh,

509
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:29,960
Speaker 1: some girls get grown men. It depends on like your

510
00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:36,040
Speaker 1: value and like your package. If you're a girl who

511
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:40,560
Speaker 1: comes from a more impoverished family, you're not highly educated.

512
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:44,119
Speaker 1: Whatever your family is trying to marry you off into

513
00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:48,480
Speaker 1: a higher into locum, into loki, whatever family will take you,

514
00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:52,120
Speaker 1: because the finances are they get shifted over there. Right

515
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:56,719
Speaker 1: So in like some very very traditional extremists, it's like

516
00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:59,080
Speaker 1: the daughters are fifteen sixteen and they're getting wet off

517
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:02,040
Speaker 1: to like thirty thirty five five year old men. Now

518
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:05,840
Speaker 1: in more modern times like today, there's a lot of

519
00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:08,320
Speaker 1: boys that I grew up with, you know, just by

520
00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:11,159
Speaker 1: virtue of going to the mosque, going to like different occasions,

521
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:14,280
Speaker 1: and I'm seeing the guys, and my mom is meeting

522
00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:16,679
Speaker 1: their mom their mom, and so now all of our

523
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:20,240
Speaker 1: families are friends. Now we want to marry within one another.

524
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:24,840
Speaker 1: And so the moms aren't stupid, Like if they see

525
00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:27,239
Speaker 1: if she knows that her son likes me, and if

526
00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:29,639
Speaker 1: it's obvious that I like her son, then they're like,

527
00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:31,800
Speaker 1: why don't we go about it the right way? And

528
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:33,399
Speaker 1: they show up to your house and the hands for

529
00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:35,840
Speaker 1: you for your hand in marriage, and this happens over

530
00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:39,120
Speaker 1: and over again until you say yes. Damn, how many

531
00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:44,520
Speaker 1: times have you been proposed to? Five? JAYZ? Five is

532
00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:48,920
Speaker 1: a lot? And what makes you as how you can

533
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:52,199
Speaker 1: say no? Then clearly you can say no. Yeah, you

534
00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:53,920
Speaker 1: could say no as many times. I mean I started

535
00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:57,760
Speaker 1: getting suitors when I was like seventeen eighteen, just hearing

536
00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:02,800
Speaker 1: the words suitors. I mean I honestly, when I was younger,

537
00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:04,520
Speaker 1: I was like, this is whack. I want to go date,

538
00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:07,159
Speaker 1: Like I if I could go back. I would do

539
00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:10,960
Speaker 1: the suitors thing. It's a gettom out here is a

540
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,520
Speaker 1: fucking ghetto bro. At least you know, this man is

541
00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:17,119
Speaker 1: shown up with intention right with his family. So what

542
00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:19,680
Speaker 1: he's gonna disrespect you after he came and looked your

543
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:21,600
Speaker 1: mom and dad in the eye day one. No he's not.

544
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:23,679
Speaker 1: They do and you know they still do. They still do.

545
00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:25,600
Speaker 1: They still do? They still do? They still do. But

546
00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:28,919
Speaker 1: like the chances are low lower and at least the

547
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:31,439
Speaker 1: timeline that you're on, you're not sitting around. Is he

548
00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:33,760
Speaker 1: going to propose? Is he not going to propose? I

549
00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:35,600
Speaker 1: like it, And maybe this is just the way I

550
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:38,119
Speaker 1: was raised off the bat, I know you want to

551
00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:40,320
Speaker 1: marry me, and then it's just a matter of whether

552
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:41,800
Speaker 1: or not I want to marry you. Back. Did any

553
00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:44,520
Speaker 1: of those suitors already have wives? Because a lot of

554
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,760
Speaker 1: so when you're where your Persians don't do that. Don't

555
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:50,320
Speaker 1: do the multiple wives? Okay, So do I don't black

556
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:53,760
Speaker 1: I don't. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, it is mym

557
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:56,159
Speaker 1: I don't. And I don't want to generalize, generalize and

558
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,840
Speaker 1: say no Persians do that because there are a lot

559
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:02,600
Speaker 1: of there's like loop marriages, Okay, temporary marriages in Iran

560
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:04,960
Speaker 1: that a lot of guys do engage in with. But

561
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:09,359
Speaker 1: it's not traditional for Persians to have multiple wives. Okay,

562
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:13,920
Speaker 1: so it's more of like a broader Muslim concept. But

563
00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:16,800
Speaker 1: I want to readily practice in Iran as growing up

564
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:19,879
Speaker 1: knowing like this is what you know my life should be,

565
00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:21,639
Speaker 1: Like I should be meeting the married guy. I mean

566
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:23,400
Speaker 1: not meeting the married guy. Yeah, you know, meeting people

567
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:26,560
Speaker 1: want to marry, meeting someone just out in the open,

568
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:29,199
Speaker 1: which I'm assuming you met your partner life right, like

569
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:32,600
Speaker 1: in the real world. Yeah, what standards? Do you think

570
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:35,480
Speaker 1: that maybe even your upbringing made him feel more pressure.

571
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:38,160
Speaker 1: I mean from the moment I met him, I said,

572
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:42,440
Speaker 1: do you have six months? I was married before, right,

573
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:44,840
Speaker 1: So I got married when I was twenty years old. Okay,

574
00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:47,480
Speaker 1: I went back to Iran. My parents were like, you

575
00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:50,200
Speaker 1: need to marry a Persian Muslim guy. And keep in mind,

576
00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:54,359
Speaker 1: my grandfather is from Ghana, so like we do, but

577
00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:57,840
Speaker 1: it's Iran. They don't want to admit that. Like I

578
00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:00,399
Speaker 1: watch all my aunts get their skin bleach, like the

579
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:02,960
Speaker 1: concept of even talking about us being black. Like from

580
00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:05,919
Speaker 1: the time I was young, I would tell my mom like, hey, Mom, like,

581
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:08,119
Speaker 1: I don't look like the other Persian girls, Like it's

582
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:10,280
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like what's going on here?

583
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:15,199
Speaker 1: Because they, yeah, they don't, they don't. They don't like

584
00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:20,600
Speaker 1: to you said, no, Ghana, they would. They don't like

585
00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:24,640
Speaker 1: to really admit that they're black, right, And that's that's

586
00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:26,280
Speaker 1: a whole other issue that they don't like to admit.

587
00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:28,520
Speaker 1: But there's a lot of Afro Persians, like a lot,

588
00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:31,200
Speaker 1: a lot, right, I've met a few, there's a lot.

589
00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:35,919
Speaker 1: So anyway, I go to Iran and I'm like, I

590
00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:38,360
Speaker 1: gotta just find something that's middle ground because my parents

591
00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:40,800
Speaker 1: want me to be with a Persian Muslim guy. I don't,

592
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:46,960
Speaker 1: so let me find one with tattoos who's like kind

593
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:48,680
Speaker 1: of a hood dude. Like, I don't know, I gotta

594
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:50,600
Speaker 1: find something in the middle and I and I found

595
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:53,520
Speaker 1: a guy who was I was twenty, he was twenty five.

596
00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:57,880
Speaker 1: He was tatted up, and like, you wanted something more American,

597
00:28:57,960 --> 00:28:59,840
Speaker 1: did you feel? Like? Yeah, I wanted something a little

598
00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:02,360
Speaker 1: bit more western and modern and modern. I wanted to

599
00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:05,520
Speaker 1: get away from my parents and making me wear a hijob.

600
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:08,280
Speaker 1: That's like the only thing that I was focused on okay,

601
00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:12,320
Speaker 1: And in a lot of these households, it's like transfer

602
00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:15,320
Speaker 1: of ownership from like your dad to your man. And

603
00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:17,560
Speaker 1: I was like, I'd rather go to you know, a

604
00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:21,080
Speaker 1: new owner that that's gonna be. That's gonna let me

605
00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:23,240
Speaker 1: do more shit right now. I could drink, now, I

606
00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:25,680
Speaker 1: could party, now, I could not wear hit job whatever.

607
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:30,640
Speaker 1: So when I when I met my current partner, I

608
00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:33,160
Speaker 1: was just like, I don't really believe in the dating shit,

609
00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:35,720
Speaker 1: Like I really don't. If I were to do it again,

610
00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:38,080
Speaker 1: I would run the same play. I don't believe in dating.

611
00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:40,520
Speaker 1: I think it's so fucking stupid. I think it's time consuming.

612
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:43,880
Speaker 1: I think it always benefits men more than women because

613
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:46,080
Speaker 1: I think we live in a society. I mean, I

614
00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:48,880
Speaker 1: think if you ask the fucking right questions, what the

615
00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:51,880
Speaker 1: fuck are we if we're grown, if we're over thirty,

616
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,760
Speaker 1: what are we talking about? Bro? What are we talking about? So?

617
00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:58,200
Speaker 1: What does the conversation look like? Talk about it? Okay,

618
00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:01,600
Speaker 1: what are your views? Let me pull out my notes.

619
00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:04,880
Speaker 1: I'm currently dating, so let me write this down. What

620
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:09,000
Speaker 1: are your views? Their views on religion? That's a big one.

621
00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:10,520
Speaker 1: I mean, if you go to any if you go

622
00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:13,440
Speaker 1: to any therapist. If you go to any therapist, they

623
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:15,680
Speaker 1: say there's five reasons why people separate. So it's like,

624
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:18,040
Speaker 1: just take those five reasons and work backwards. What are

625
00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:21,200
Speaker 1: your views on fucking religion? What are your views on parents?

626
00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:23,560
Speaker 1: And how involved your parents need to be in our lives?

627
00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:26,400
Speaker 1: And what fucking mommy daddy issues do you have? And

628
00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:28,600
Speaker 1: if you don't know what mommy daddy issues you have,

629
00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:30,800
Speaker 1: why don't you and go figure the fuck out? Because

630
00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:33,520
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to deal with your EDIU complex you

631
00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:36,800
Speaker 1: over here either wanting to fuck your mom secretly internally

632
00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:39,280
Speaker 1: and or hate your mom and take it out on women,

633
00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:41,880
Speaker 1: like I'm not trying to deal with that. Talk about finances,

634
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:44,200
Speaker 1: what role do you think I play in finances? What

635
00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:47,720
Speaker 1: role do you play in finances? Should we have a budget? Like?

636
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:50,160
Speaker 1: Is this an allowance situation? You know? Talk about that,

637
00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:55,280
Speaker 1: talk about having children, timeline of children, how do you

638
00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:59,240
Speaker 1: want to raise children? Raise your child? You have that

639
00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:03,240
Speaker 1: ask you hold, Well, if you've been dating someone for

640
00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:07,560
Speaker 1: how many years you're gonna talking to the mic? Come on,

641
00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:13,160
Speaker 1: act like you'd be on a podcast? How long for

642
00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:15,480
Speaker 1: those questions that she just said? How long did it

643
00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:21,040
Speaker 1: take for you to know all those answers. What's pretty simple.

644
00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:24,920
Speaker 1: So like I initially I knew that everything.

645
00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:28,600
Speaker 2: Needed to focus on that was there, and then I

646
00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:30,640
Speaker 2: just needed a little bit more time, maybe like maybe

647
00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:31,560
Speaker 2: like six months, and it.

648
00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:34,080
Speaker 1: Was like, okay, you know why I wanted to ask that.

649
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,200
Speaker 1: I was really curious as to people that have been

650
00:31:37,200 --> 00:31:39,640
Speaker 1: together for longer and three years to me as long

651
00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:42,880
Speaker 1: if they knew that early. I think you find out

652
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:45,760
Speaker 1: really early. I think the reason why people then delay

653
00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:48,560
Speaker 1: it is because committing to someone for the rest of

654
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:50,680
Speaker 1: your life is a long fucking time and it's a

655
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:52,840
Speaker 1: hard thing to do. So if I'm a man and

656
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:55,600
Speaker 1: I could just I could push that commitment off for

657
00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:58,360
Speaker 1: a little bit and still have the option to walk away,

658
00:31:58,520 --> 00:32:00,400
Speaker 1: why the fuck would I not take up that option?

659
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:03,520
Speaker 1: Why would I? If you know that you are if

660
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:06,120
Speaker 1: you if you sign a contract right, you could sign

661
00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:08,200
Speaker 1: it today or you could sign it in two years

662
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:10,120
Speaker 1: where you gonna keep getting the benefits of the contract.

663
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:13,280
Speaker 1: Why would you sign it today now by yourself? That

664
00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:17,880
Speaker 1: we've heard Tom and Tommigan from men and women, yeah

665
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:20,160
Speaker 1: that are trying to advise people in dating or marriage

666
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:25,960
Speaker 1: that conversations like these scare people off. Yeah, commitment folks, now,

667
00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:29,000
Speaker 1: but I mean that's on a first date. I mean yeah.

668
00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:30,960
Speaker 1: I mean don't go in there and be like, whoa,

669
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:32,520
Speaker 1: what's up? You know what I mean? Like what are

670
00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:34,720
Speaker 1: your views on marriage? What are your views on joke? Like,

671
00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:37,640
Speaker 1: like you gotta be you gotta have some finesse to it,

672
00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:39,880
Speaker 1: you know, like eat the fucking food.

673
00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:44,560
Speaker 2: You know, what's your favorite the fucking drink?

674
00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:47,640
Speaker 1: Like what's your favorite football team? Like? And that you

675
00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:49,720
Speaker 1: you got to just know a way to navigate and

676
00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:53,160
Speaker 1: weave questions in because also you don't want to let

677
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:55,960
Speaker 1: people know that you're about to ask this intense question

678
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:58,160
Speaker 1: and they give you a miss America answer. You want

679
00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:01,080
Speaker 1: their true, authentic respond When do you know you're no

680
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:04,080
Speaker 1: longer getting the representative because men are gonna show up

681
00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:06,720
Speaker 1: and sure to give you the answers they know that

682
00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:08,520
Speaker 1: you want to hear, but that may not even be

683
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:10,920
Speaker 1: who they are. How do you lean? I mean, that's

684
00:33:11,560 --> 00:33:13,479
Speaker 1: the truth of the matter is you could do everything

685
00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:16,720
Speaker 1: right and still and it's still in those bulls right,

686
00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:19,280
Speaker 1: and you could do everything wrong and it's a lie.

687
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:21,040
Speaker 1: It Okay, we might get an accident because the other

688
00:33:21,080 --> 00:33:23,160
Speaker 1: person sucks up. We I think at the end of

689
00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:27,840
Speaker 1: the day, as a woman, you can only do so much, okay,

690
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:31,400
Speaker 1: and you can't blame yourself if shit goes left, Like

691
00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:33,200
Speaker 1: you have to you have to just be true to

692
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:35,760
Speaker 1: yourself and and do the things that you know you're

693
00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:38,080
Speaker 1: supposed to do. And then if it doesn't work out, dude,

694
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:42,040
Speaker 1: fuck it, fuck it, who cares? Fuck it? It didn't

695
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:46,000
Speaker 1: work out? Next there is always a net now or

696
00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:48,080
Speaker 1: or or like figure it out there. But like, you

697
00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:50,800
Speaker 1: can't sit around blame yourself, like, oh, I was so stupid.

698
00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:52,520
Speaker 1: I was so stupid. I was so stupid. Like I've

699
00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:54,640
Speaker 1: had so many relationships where I've sat there for so

700
00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:56,840
Speaker 1: long and blame myself, like I was so stupid. I

701
00:33:56,920 --> 00:33:59,440
Speaker 1: embarrassed myself. I did this and this, and I look

702
00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:02,920
Speaker 1: back and I'm like and what and what? Like I

703
00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:05,719
Speaker 1: figured it out or I didn't, but and what right

704
00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:08,360
Speaker 1: I'm gonna sit here and blame myself for a man's actions.

705
00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:10,359
Speaker 1: M Why would I fucking do that.

706
00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:13,279
Speaker 2: I'm gonna sit here and I meant myself forget to

707
00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:15,680
Speaker 2: blame game myself for staying in.

708
00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:18,239
Speaker 1: Something that I knew wasn't healthy. That's too long it

709
00:34:18,239 --> 00:34:21,400
Speaker 1: goes that. But yeah, like take responsibility when you go

710
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:25,960
Speaker 1: from victim to volunteer, take responsibility for that. But also

711
00:34:26,120 --> 00:34:29,880
Speaker 1: like sitting around berating yourself, other people gonna do that

712
00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:31,480
Speaker 1: for you. You don't you know, you don't do it

713
00:34:31,520 --> 00:34:35,359
Speaker 1: for you. And and just people can't wait to remind you.

714
00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:38,359
Speaker 1: People can't wait to see someone who's doing wealth fall

715
00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:42,399
Speaker 1: because it makes them feel finally like they are they

716
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:44,319
Speaker 1: are close in power to you. Oh girl, I know,

717
00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:45,240
Speaker 1: I know the people.

718
00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:47,920
Speaker 2: It was happy when I started going through my turmoil

719
00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:50,799
Speaker 2: because I was in in bliss the whole first year.

720
00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:52,800
Speaker 1: They're like, no way, this man is this person and

721
00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:55,440
Speaker 1: people don't like that. And then I don't think that

722
00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:59,319
Speaker 1: people want to see you you you and pain. I

723
00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:04,160
Speaker 1: think I think people probably felt like maybe you were

724
00:35:04,160 --> 00:35:05,799
Speaker 1: out of touch for a moment because you were so

725
00:35:05,920 --> 00:35:06,279
Speaker 1: in love.

726
00:35:06,719 --> 00:35:11,240
Speaker 2: But also but also he showed up. I'm the person

727
00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:14,640
Speaker 2: though where where I see friends and I know people

728
00:35:14,719 --> 00:35:18,200
Speaker 2: who are dating somebody five months in, they're like, we

729
00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:22,279
Speaker 2: need therapy together what so to me, there's also this

730
00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:25,480
Speaker 2: false sense that you can actually be in a honeymoon

731
00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:27,759
Speaker 2: phase for longer than three months or six months, and

732
00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:30,719
Speaker 2: the fact that of course my honeymoon phase was a

733
00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:33,680
Speaker 2: year long. But also it might have been out of

734
00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:36,480
Speaker 2: touch because I met him in a pandemic. Nothing was

735
00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:39,480
Speaker 2: normal during the pandemic, so where literally we didn't have

736
00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:42,279
Speaker 2: all of the outside things, My schedule wasn't busy, all

737
00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:44,719
Speaker 2: of the things that it was just initially affected the

738
00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:46,640
Speaker 2: relationship happened when the world opened back.

739
00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:50,520
Speaker 1: Also, I think as a podcaster, it's like people will

740
00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:52,520
Speaker 1: hold you accountable to the thing you said last week.

741
00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:54,799
Speaker 1: So for you to turn into someone who's like, oh

742
00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:57,760
Speaker 1: my god, my boyfriend's perfect, that's what true. He was perfect,

743
00:35:57,840 --> 00:35:59,359
Speaker 1: That's what I mean. But I look like it has

744
00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:00,759
Speaker 1: to do with people to see him paint. I'm just

745
00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:01,600
Speaker 1: trying to oh no, no, no no.

746
00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:04,600
Speaker 2: But also, if we're coming in here recording a month

747
00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:05,760
Speaker 2: where the content.

748
00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:09,239
Speaker 1: In two days, yes, the way even we do it

749
00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:09,799
Speaker 1: is but.

750
00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:13,920
Speaker 2: Like y'all, y'all were getting my moods in two days

751
00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:16,520
Speaker 2: spread out for a month, and you know what I mean, Wolf,

752
00:36:16,560 --> 00:36:18,560
Speaker 2: So even if maybe we had a little bump in

753
00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:20,320
Speaker 2: the road, by the time we come back into the

754
00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:23,000
Speaker 2: studio and then they've resolved it, I've resolved it and

755
00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:26,520
Speaker 2: I'm back in bliss or if y'all heard me fucking crying.

756
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:28,680
Speaker 2: There's weeks where I've cried, and it looks like I'm

757
00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:29,719
Speaker 2: crying for a whole month.

758
00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:31,680
Speaker 1: Bitch. We came in here two days.

759
00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:34,319
Speaker 2: And recorded a month worth of content, and my emotions

760
00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:36,960
Speaker 2: within a certain timeframe are going to be very similar.

761
00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:39,359
Speaker 1: But this is what I'm saying. You're allowed to be wrong. Oh,

762
00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:41,759
Speaker 1: You're allowed to be wrong at a man. You're allowed

763
00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:43,560
Speaker 1: to be wrong about a situation. You're You're allowed to

764
00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:45,560
Speaker 1: be fucking wrong because you're a human and you can

765
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:48,239
Speaker 1: only go off of what's being shown to you, right, Like,

766
00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:50,920
Speaker 1: what what were you supposed to do? Come in and

767
00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:53,840
Speaker 1: be like, I'm happy, but I'm skeptic, Like that's not

768
00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:57,080
Speaker 1: feel weird talking about that. I'm talking about previous dating views,

769
00:36:57,520 --> 00:36:59,600
Speaker 1: and that's what I mean about when you meet someone

770
00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:02,880
Speaker 1: that changes your view. You were not the girl you

771
00:37:02,920 --> 00:37:05,360
Speaker 1: were in a relationship. I'm not going to let you

772
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:09,040
Speaker 1: skate by that bro you turned. I also taught our

773
00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:11,480
Speaker 1: relationship girlfriendy I'm cooking, but.

774
00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:14,799
Speaker 2: Also again the day to day, but it's not the

775
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:15,640
Speaker 2: man that changed me.

776
00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:17,680
Speaker 1: And that's the thing. I've been in therapy now for

777
00:37:17,719 --> 00:37:20,520
Speaker 1: two years. Let's be very clear how I view myself.

778
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:24,400
Speaker 1: I got my degree, I got two degrees, and I

779
00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:27,040
Speaker 1: talked about I felt worthless in my twenties.

780
00:37:27,239 --> 00:37:30,520
Speaker 2: I didn't cook, I led with sex, I wasn't confident

781
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:34,840
Speaker 2: because of my body. The way I valued myself is

782
00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:37,560
Speaker 2: completely different than now. It's completely different than when I

783
00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:39,239
Speaker 2: was in my relationship. Do you think that he was

784
00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:41,160
Speaker 2: then the catalyst to showing you.

785
00:37:40,880 --> 00:37:41,840
Speaker 1: You to me?

786
00:37:42,239 --> 00:37:45,719
Speaker 2: To me, it was seeing value and now being so

787
00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:48,839
Speaker 2: comfortable in my body, to being able to afford and

788
00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:52,440
Speaker 2: not go into a relationship Transactionally, I finally felt value

789
00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:54,879
Speaker 2: in being able to like a man because I liked him,

790
00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:58,480
Speaker 2: not because of what he could provide. Again, through therapy,

791
00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:01,799
Speaker 2: I worked on setting boundaries. I worked on communication. You said,

792
00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:04,880
Speaker 2: my communication has gotten better. I have genuinely through the

793
00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:09,200
Speaker 2: pandemic after graduating, leaving my career, and focusing on building

794
00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:12,680
Speaker 2: myself professionally and personally, I genuinely feel like a better

795
00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:14,959
Speaker 2: person and so to me even though he was able

796
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:17,480
Speaker 2: to receive that. That's where I've also been in this

797
00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:20,160
Speaker 2: weird place with casual sex and just letting any guy

798
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:22,200
Speaker 2: come into my life because I'm like, oh wait, I'm

799
00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:23,640
Speaker 2: actually a good motherfucking catch.

800
00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:26,600
Speaker 1: I just had not heard you speak that way until him.

801
00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:29,400
Speaker 1: But again, that's why I said that. But that's not

802
00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:31,560
Speaker 1: that I didn't know you. But that's where I get

803
00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:34,560
Speaker 1: a degree a well. But that's where I want to

804
00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:36,680
Speaker 1: be very clear. That man did not make me a

805
00:38:36,680 --> 00:38:39,560
Speaker 1: better person. I would't say you're a good person because well,

806
00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:43,240
Speaker 1: and I'm not. I'm just saying all of these reasons again.

807
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:45,760
Speaker 2: My degree therapy over the last two and a half years,

808
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:49,080
Speaker 2: me working on myself is now why I feel like

809
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:51,279
Speaker 2: I showed up as a better partner for him. So

810
00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:54,160
Speaker 2: when I sit here and literally cry and be like, damn,

811
00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:56,680
Speaker 2: how the fuck did I still get fucked over when

812
00:38:56,719 --> 00:38:58,680
Speaker 2: I was showing up as the best version of myself?

813
00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:00,279
Speaker 2: That's why I'm beating myself too.

814
00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:00,880
Speaker 1: Damn.

815
00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:03,040
Speaker 2: Even me showing up as the best version of myself

816
00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:04,800
Speaker 2: didn't give me the result of a menagure.

817
00:39:04,920 --> 00:39:06,920
Speaker 1: But I wanted you know what I mean.

818
00:39:07,120 --> 00:39:08,719
Speaker 2: You know, the way I showed up to him had

819
00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:11,000
Speaker 2: a lot to do with myself work. And I think

820
00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:15,120
Speaker 2: that a lot of women ship shipped in shape who

821
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:18,479
Speaker 2: they are in relationships without doing the self work, which

822
00:39:18,520 --> 00:39:20,480
Speaker 2: is why now I'm having a hard time fucking dating

823
00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:25,319
Speaker 2: because oh, you don't want to work.

824
00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:28,400
Speaker 1: You're telling you there's too sometimes therapy. I said this

825
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:32,360
Speaker 1: a few weeks ago. Oh yeah, I agree, like healing,

826
00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:34,720
Speaker 1: you got to cut it off at a certain points

827
00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:37,640
Speaker 1: because now you not you're too healed. And every time

828
00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:40,279
Speaker 1: somebody says something, you're like, well that doesn't work for me,

829
00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:45,160
Speaker 1: and you're rejecting. I could see from what your talk

830
00:39:45,239 --> 00:39:47,200
Speaker 1: too much. I'm like, you know when you can talk

831
00:39:47,239 --> 00:39:48,960
Speaker 1: to someone and you're like, you must have just got

832
00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:51,680
Speaker 1: out of the session again, oh yeah, or people who

833
00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:54,680
Speaker 1: just got out of like a retreat. Like it's like like,

834
00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:57,440
Speaker 1: as a man that's on the tail end of his therapy,

835
00:39:57,600 --> 00:39:59,960
Speaker 1: I feel that, please don't get me. Well, I also

836
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:04,040
Speaker 1: say this like I and it's become this hype, right, Oh,

837
00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:05,719
Speaker 1: we want a man in therapy, won't we want a

838
00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:08,160
Speaker 1: man in therapy. We got to be really careful because

839
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:10,279
Speaker 1: there's some trash ass therapists out there and what they have.

840
00:40:10,880 --> 00:40:14,000
Speaker 1: They got these narcissistic men going to therapy and they're

841
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:17,200
Speaker 1: lying to these therapists about because the therapy is about

842
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:20,680
Speaker 1: your version of the ourself in for a second, for

843
00:40:20,719 --> 00:40:23,480
Speaker 1: the men listening. Yes, I've been meeting a lot of

844
00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:27,120
Speaker 1: narcissistic women, and I'm almost exhausted with the narcissistic men bullshit.

845
00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:32,560
Speaker 1: There are psychotic women out there. I'm just not dating them,

846
00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:37,719
Speaker 1: so I don't know them. No, I'm in reality. I

847
00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:41,560
Speaker 1: think we're overdosed with narcissistic male content, yes, and not

848
00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:44,719
Speaker 1: enough narcissistic women. But the point is these people are

849
00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:48,480
Speaker 1: our friends, our sisters, our moms and coworkers. Yeah, and

850
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:51,080
Speaker 1: then we sit there listening to this fucking bullshit from

851
00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:52,920
Speaker 1: them and don't even realize. I agree, we should be

852
00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:56,200
Speaker 1: learning the same skills when we're watching that video clip

853
00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:59,080
Speaker 1: of someone being a narcissistic man and how to deal

854
00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:01,120
Speaker 1: with them or whatever. I don't think we're seeing it

855
00:41:01,160 --> 00:41:03,480
Speaker 1: the other way. And I think the issue now is

856
00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:06,879
Speaker 1: women are almost feeling so empowered by seeing this one

857
00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:10,000
Speaker 1: piece of content, but now they're fucking putting that shit

858
00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:12,400
Speaker 1: out into the world. And some of it comes from

859
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:16,680
Speaker 1: the I'm holding myself at this tier of person. A

860
00:41:16,719 --> 00:41:19,360
Speaker 1: lot of that narcissistic shit that men have is feeling

861
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:21,760
Speaker 1: like their self worth is inflated, and I've been seeing

862
00:41:21,760 --> 00:41:22,799
Speaker 1: women do it way done.

863
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:27,440
Speaker 2: Women are doing the same thing. One maybe four. Now

864
00:41:27,560 --> 00:41:30,200
Speaker 2: I'm gonna just say three, so y'all can't three. Three

865
00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:34,720
Speaker 2: of my homegirls recently had their phones gone through niggas

866
00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:37,160
Speaker 2: is out here going through phones, laptops, Apple watches.

867
00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:39,680
Speaker 1: All of these holes was cheating and.

868
00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:42,359
Speaker 2: All of them went to the men, who literally are

869
00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:45,560
Speaker 2: upset that you invY my prophecies, you know. All of

870
00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:48,839
Speaker 2: their response was well, I trusted you, and you sat

871
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:51,000
Speaker 2: here and went through my things. All of the women

872
00:41:51,040 --> 00:41:53,600
Speaker 2: answered the same way and gas lit the men who

873
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:56,920
Speaker 2: are sitting here seeing them entertain other men, on dating apps,

874
00:41:56,920 --> 00:42:00,560
Speaker 2: on seeking arrangement, fucking other people, also talking shit about

875
00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:01,040
Speaker 2: them to the.

876
00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:02,840
Speaker 1: Oh, this is the one I want to talk about

877
00:42:03,320 --> 00:42:05,239
Speaker 1: BDD and I that's what they said. Who's a dude

878
00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:08,439
Speaker 1: off for years? Right? He said, I need to ask

879
00:42:08,480 --> 00:42:11,359
Speaker 1: you this question because I feel like you're gonna give

880
00:42:11,360 --> 00:42:13,880
Speaker 1: me the most honest answer. Why the fuck two women

881
00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:18,040
Speaker 1: talk shit about men that they're actually into. Why do

882
00:42:18,040 --> 00:42:21,520
Speaker 1: you go in the group chat and you fucking downplace? Oh? Yeah, yeah, no, No,

883
00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:24,239
Speaker 1: I think I think I think we have to be

884
00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:26,359
Speaker 1: so careful because if I'm coming to you every day

885
00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:28,080
Speaker 1: and being like my man is in shit, My man

886
00:42:28,120 --> 00:42:29,879
Speaker 1: is in shit, My man is a ship. And then

887
00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:32,279
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, why don't you respect my man? Why

888
00:42:32,320 --> 00:42:35,200
Speaker 1: don't you respect my relationship? Well, all I do is

889
00:42:35,239 --> 00:42:38,080
Speaker 1: talk about you don't respect him? Yes, And also like

890
00:42:38,200 --> 00:42:40,600
Speaker 1: I know, I go home and I have sex and

891
00:42:40,640 --> 00:42:43,640
Speaker 1: the oxytocin reminds me how great he is. But you

892
00:42:43,640 --> 00:42:46,239
Speaker 1: don't have that experience. So I'm just ruining your view

893
00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:49,080
Speaker 1: of someone over and over and over again. I also think,

894
00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:52,640
Speaker 1: if someone is that horrible where you're talking about the

895
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:57,000
Speaker 1: bro when I tell you I ate for three years.

896
00:42:57,440 --> 00:42:59,399
Speaker 1: Every time I would get in a little fun, little shit,

897
00:42:59,440 --> 00:43:01,520
Speaker 1: I would tell But for the most part I was like,

898
00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:04,040
Speaker 1: I am not about to walk in parade around. We

899
00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:06,640
Speaker 1: were living in Mexico together, bitch, I was enjoying my life,

900
00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:10,520
Speaker 1: was he not shiit? No, But I'm gonna tell y'all

901
00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:12,640
Speaker 1: that we're having a ball. You don't want a beach.

902
00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:18,400
Speaker 1: And the older the older you get, the more you

903
00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:21,440
Speaker 1: realize how many women are actually with anight shit dudes,

904
00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:22,839
Speaker 1: but you don't know about it.

905
00:43:22,920 --> 00:43:25,320
Speaker 2: Well, not only well, not only that, Let's be very clear,

906
00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:28,960
Speaker 2: a lot of women aren't admitting to themselves how ancient

907
00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:31,839
Speaker 2: they are in their relationships as precisely. So literally, if

908
00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:35,359
Speaker 2: you're sitting here telling me all these things, yet bitch.

909
00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:36,920
Speaker 1: I know you, I know you cheating on him, I

910
00:43:36,960 --> 00:43:38,480
Speaker 1: know you talking to another nick. Yeah.

911
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:41,640
Speaker 2: So also, why are you holding this idea of this

912
00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:44,520
Speaker 2: faithful man when you're not faithful. So there's a lot

913
00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:46,480
Speaker 2: of ways in which women are feeling to show up

914
00:43:46,520 --> 00:43:48,680
Speaker 2: in the relationships the way that they want their partners.

915
00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:51,200
Speaker 1: I think women aren't faithful because they want to keep

916
00:43:51,200 --> 00:43:54,880
Speaker 1: the roster bro most women I know today. It makes

917
00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:59,080
Speaker 1: sense a little bit because like our entire view of

918
00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:04,520
Speaker 1: relationships is like fully centered on infidelity when there's so

919
00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:07,319
Speaker 1: many other ways you could betray a person boom, right,

920
00:44:07,360 --> 00:44:09,759
Speaker 1: but tell us tell it like our society And I

921
00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:12,480
Speaker 1: get why, but our society is so focused on like

922
00:44:12,920 --> 00:44:17,000
Speaker 1: infidelity being like the big headline thing. But there are

923
00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:20,120
Speaker 1: so many ways you could like neglect a person, you

924
00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:23,040
Speaker 1: could over a person, you could emotionally starve a person

925
00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:25,960
Speaker 1: like you could, you could make someone feel worthless, you

926
00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:29,200
Speaker 1: could belittle them. There's so many ways that are that

927
00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:32,680
Speaker 1: that women do engage in with men, right, that are

928
00:44:32,719 --> 00:44:35,040
Speaker 1: never headlines. And then the man cheats, which is not

929
00:44:35,080 --> 00:44:39,279
Speaker 1: a fucking excuse. There's noever fucking excuse. But then there's

930
00:44:39,320 --> 00:44:42,040
Speaker 1: no conversation where a woman can come and say I

931
00:44:42,080 --> 00:44:44,680
Speaker 1: did X, Y, and Z wrong in the relationship. That

932
00:44:44,719 --> 00:44:47,120
Speaker 1: does not excuse and it does not justify why he

933
00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:49,200
Speaker 1: cheated on me. That is a separate issue. But let

934
00:44:49,280 --> 00:44:51,920
Speaker 1: me admit to the things and my fault in a relationship.

935
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:55,160
Speaker 1: You know that often it's like, once you get cheated on,

936
00:44:55,520 --> 00:44:58,160
Speaker 1: you get to carry the woman, you get to hide behind.

937
00:44:58,200 --> 00:45:01,280
Speaker 1: I got cheated on, Well, well, what were you doing wrong?

938
00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:04,120
Speaker 1: Not dude, justify him cheating, but what were you doing wrong?

939
00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:06,840
Speaker 1: Because there's a dynamic at play and your dynamic is

940
00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:10,160
Speaker 1: fucked up? What are you doing wrong in your dynamic?

941
00:45:10,480 --> 00:45:12,600
Speaker 1: Not because you care about him, but because you need

942
00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:14,319
Speaker 1: to figure out what you're doing wrong here so that

943
00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:15,759
Speaker 1: when you go to the next person. I think, I know,

944
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:19,880
Speaker 1: fix it? What is yours? I think that when I

945
00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:25,160
Speaker 1: was getting cheated on, I was in the first time.

946
00:45:25,160 --> 00:45:27,080
Speaker 1: I don't think I did anything wrong. Okay, I think

947
00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:30,560
Speaker 1: my response to the cheating allowed for the continual cheating

948
00:45:30,920 --> 00:45:34,359
Speaker 1: in what way because I wasn't as serious, I didn't

949
00:45:34,360 --> 00:45:37,080
Speaker 1: stick by what I said in the first time about

950
00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:41,080
Speaker 1: leaving him, about setting boundaries, like I remember getting right

951
00:45:41,120 --> 00:45:42,760
Speaker 1: back with him because I thought it was just sex.

952
00:45:43,160 --> 00:45:46,160
Speaker 1: Even though that may have been true, I never upheld

953
00:45:46,160 --> 00:45:49,080
Speaker 1: myself to the standard of whatever. I can't remember what

954
00:45:49,160 --> 00:45:51,200
Speaker 1: I set forth, But like he knew there was no

955
00:45:51,239 --> 00:45:54,440
Speaker 1: consequence to it. He knew he wasn't losing me. And

956
00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:58,560
Speaker 1: then the more he cheated, the more I was okay

957
00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:02,360
Speaker 1: with it, but either cheating because of it. So I

958
00:46:02,480 --> 00:46:04,960
Speaker 1: was so frustrated with the cheating, but then I would

959
00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:07,480
Speaker 1: act a certain way, so I wasn't doing the girlfriend

960
00:46:07,480 --> 00:46:08,799
Speaker 1: ship that I set out to do when I took

961
00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:10,640
Speaker 1: him back as my boyfriend because I was so mad

962
00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:12,960
Speaker 1: about the cheating when reality, I should have just left him.

963
00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:16,160
Speaker 1: Like I think, I wasn't sticking to the plan that

964
00:46:16,200 --> 00:46:18,319
Speaker 1: I had for myself. And I think because he knew

965
00:46:18,360 --> 00:46:21,080
Speaker 1: that I wasn't doing that, it allowed him to keep cheating.

966
00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:24,760
Speaker 1: If I'm telling you I have a plan for my business,

967
00:46:25,120 --> 00:46:27,400
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be in three cities next year, and I

968
00:46:27,400 --> 00:46:30,000
Speaker 1: don't do it, and I keep screaming about it, You're

969
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:32,440
Speaker 1: gonna be like, Okay, this bit chain about shit. Yeah,

970
00:46:32,840 --> 00:46:34,520
Speaker 1: I stick to what the fuck I say when it

971
00:46:34,520 --> 00:46:36,479
Speaker 1: comes to my money, and I always do. I don't

972
00:46:36,560 --> 00:46:39,319
Speaker 1: take l's from it. But with my relationship, I kept

973
00:46:39,320 --> 00:46:41,000
Speaker 1: taking l's on what I said I would stand for it.

974
00:46:41,239 --> 00:46:44,279
Speaker 1: And I think he saw that everything else in my

975
00:46:44,400 --> 00:46:48,160
Speaker 1: life I was very very good at doing. He knew it.

976
00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:50,480
Speaker 1: I would get up, it didn't matter what it was.

977
00:46:50,520 --> 00:46:52,440
Speaker 1: If I was hungover, drunk, I'm still gonna make it.

978
00:46:52,480 --> 00:46:54,719
Speaker 1: I never miss a flight. I'm always on point with shit.

979
00:46:54,840 --> 00:46:56,960
Speaker 1: But for the relationship, it was always like this.

980
00:46:56,960 --> 00:46:59,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I was saying in the beginning, though

981
00:46:59,600 --> 00:47:01,880
Speaker 2: your heart's I know how I show up, and like

982
00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:04,759
Speaker 2: for most people generally speaking, now, how you show up

983
00:47:04,760 --> 00:47:09,360
Speaker 2: professionally and in friendships just innately, unfortunately is different than romantic.

984
00:47:09,440 --> 00:47:13,200
Speaker 1: Of course it just is, and so somewhere, no, it does.

985
00:47:13,239 --> 00:47:17,000
Speaker 2: But that's where, unfortunately, because there's whatever the oxytocin that

986
00:47:17,040 --> 00:47:19,880
Speaker 2: we get when we fucking these big dick good dick nicholas,

987
00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:24,439
Speaker 2: we be so dumb in not being able to show

988
00:47:24,520 --> 00:47:26,239
Speaker 2: up as ourselves and how we know how to show

989
00:47:26,320 --> 00:47:29,360
Speaker 2: up in business or with friendships. For whatever reason, a

990
00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:32,400
Speaker 2: lot of those boundaries are not kept the way we communicate,

991
00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:35,560
Speaker 2: the way we really put those hardcore things down they

992
00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:38,560
Speaker 2: they're a little bit more blurry in romantic relationships.

993
00:47:38,600 --> 00:47:40,440
Speaker 1: I mean, it's not gonna be the same as the platonics.

994
00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:43,120
Speaker 1: Like if my girlfriend doesn't respond in two days when

995
00:47:43,160 --> 00:47:44,880
Speaker 1: she hits me, I am, I'm not gonna be like,

996
00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:47,560
Speaker 1: where have you been? You don't care about my emotions,

997
00:47:47,840 --> 00:47:49,719
Speaker 1: you don't care about my well being. I'm like, what's

998
00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:52,160
Speaker 1: that big man? But if that man doesn't talk to

999
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:54,680
Speaker 1: me two days, like you don't care about my well being,

1000
00:47:54,840 --> 00:47:57,840
Speaker 1: you hate me? You are you know what I'm saying, Like,

1001
00:47:57,920 --> 00:48:00,960
Speaker 1: I also think we but we said ourselves for failure

1002
00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:04,360
Speaker 1: when we compare anything to romantic relationships, the expectations of

1003
00:48:04,440 --> 00:48:09,319
Speaker 1: romantic relationships that are have the conversation last night donating

1004
00:48:09,719 --> 00:48:14,320
Speaker 1: was fasting and so fasting from what right? Food, alcohol,

1005
00:48:14,360 --> 00:48:17,280
Speaker 1: everything right for like twenty four hours. So we were talking,

1006
00:48:17,600 --> 00:48:20,000
Speaker 1: maybe like around three pm that day I went to

1007
00:48:20,040 --> 00:48:22,880
Speaker 1: like a food convention thing so he couldn't come fasting,

1008
00:48:23,840 --> 00:48:26,040
Speaker 1: And then like three pm I said something. This one's

1009
00:48:26,040 --> 00:48:28,439
Speaker 1: fucking responded to me until the next day. I said, what,

1010
00:48:28,560 --> 00:48:31,799
Speaker 1: bitch were you fasting with? Like are you out of

1011
00:48:31,840 --> 00:48:34,680
Speaker 1: your mind? That's what you said? Yes, And He's like,

1012
00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:38,200
Speaker 1: how is it possible that your brain went to another

1013
00:48:38,280 --> 00:48:40,000
Speaker 1: woman just because I didn't talk to you? By the way,

1014
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:41,600
Speaker 1: I don't like. Wolf was over there just shaking his

1015
00:48:41,640 --> 00:48:44,320
Speaker 1: head like, well, I like, what's part of my brain wound?

1016
00:48:44,360 --> 00:48:47,080
Speaker 1: A part of my brain where men are out here

1017
00:48:47,120 --> 00:48:51,840
Speaker 1: fucking passive passive with my math? You know part you

1018
00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:54,120
Speaker 1: want to not talk to me? You better tell me

1019
00:48:54,160 --> 00:48:56,200
Speaker 1: you don't want to talk to me period. You better say, yo,

1020
00:48:56,239 --> 00:48:58,080
Speaker 1: I need a minute for this past. I'm not about

1021
00:48:58,080 --> 00:49:05,800
Speaker 1: to fame, but I know he is he this is

1022
00:49:05,880 --> 00:49:08,080
Speaker 1: the whole type ship. And I tell you can I

1023
00:49:08,080 --> 00:49:11,000
Speaker 1: tell you? But I understand why you asked that because

1024
00:49:11,200 --> 00:49:14,120
Speaker 1: one time during Ramadan, my current man, I was not

1025
00:49:14,320 --> 00:49:16,440
Speaker 1: into him at the time, so I lied and was like,

1026
00:49:16,480 --> 00:49:18,920
Speaker 1: it's Ramadan, I can't have sex, So I didn't have

1027
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:26,400
Speaker 1: So that's why that's so toxic. That's exactly why you

1028
00:49:26,400 --> 00:49:30,040
Speaker 1: should not trust men. Bro. So he's like, yo, I'm like,

1029
00:49:30,080 --> 00:49:31,239
Speaker 1: so what should do this one? And he's like, yo,

1030
00:49:31,360 --> 00:49:33,120
Speaker 1: Like I just was tapped out. I was just trying

1031
00:49:33,160 --> 00:49:35,880
Speaker 1: to spiritually tune in with the bitch. And I'm like,

1032
00:49:35,880 --> 00:49:37,520
Speaker 1: how did you break your past? He told me what

1033
00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:40,200
Speaker 1: He's like, I had a kill salad with salmon? Where

1034
00:49:40,200 --> 00:49:42,240
Speaker 1: did you eat that out lunch for the bitch? Because

1035
00:49:42,239 --> 00:49:44,880
Speaker 1: I know you ain't make no motherfucker kill salad? And yo,

1036
00:49:44,960 --> 00:49:51,399
Speaker 1: who even told you about kill salad? Bitch? Bitch? Yeah, yeah,

1037
00:49:51,520 --> 00:49:56,680
Speaker 1: I don't care to kill. That's you, niggah, You telling

1038
00:49:56,719 --> 00:49:58,960
Speaker 1: me right now you have salmon and kill. No, he laughed.

1039
00:49:58,960 --> 00:50:03,880
Speaker 1: And think I'm being you are, but I'm right and no,

1040
00:50:04,760 --> 00:50:07,120
Speaker 1: And this is probably some ship you were you were

1041
00:50:07,120 --> 00:50:09,279
Speaker 1: doing in your list relationship talking about I wasn't doing

1042
00:50:09,280 --> 00:50:11,399
Speaker 1: nothing wrong and then he cheated first of all, changing

1043
00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:19,080
Speaker 1: the I started cheating too. But anyway, let's go to

1044
00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:22,680
Speaker 1: why the girls want to talk to you? So I

1045
00:50:22,719 --> 00:50:25,040
Speaker 1: want to talk about one of my favorite things you

1046
00:50:25,040 --> 00:50:27,080
Speaker 1: said in the video. There's so many favorite things. Being

1047
00:50:27,120 --> 00:50:31,080
Speaker 1: with a rich man is lit. Now, obviously that would

1048
00:50:31,120 --> 00:50:34,000
Speaker 1: be the case, but how are the girls going to

1049
00:50:34,040 --> 00:50:36,480
Speaker 1: find him and how are they going to keep him? Okay,

1050
00:50:36,560 --> 00:50:39,080
Speaker 1: let's start with being with a rich man is lit.

1051
00:50:39,440 --> 00:50:42,000
Speaker 1: That was said in the context of in comparison to

1052
00:50:42,040 --> 00:50:45,120
Speaker 1: being with a four man. Okay, Okay, Like, obviously, if

1053
00:50:45,160 --> 00:50:47,480
Speaker 1: you take two men who are identical in every way,

1054
00:50:47,760 --> 00:50:51,560
Speaker 1: one has money, and one does it. Obviously you should

1055
00:50:51,600 --> 00:50:54,719
Speaker 1: pick the one who has money. That being said, and

1056
00:50:54,800 --> 00:50:57,239
Speaker 1: I've tried to I've tried to make videos about this,

1057
00:50:57,320 --> 00:50:58,839
Speaker 1: and like the girls don't want to hear this side

1058
00:50:58,880 --> 00:51:02,239
Speaker 1: of it. Being with a rich man comes with shit too, right,

1059
00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:05,680
Speaker 1: It comes with a lot of shit on its own,

1060
00:51:06,080 --> 00:51:09,400
Speaker 1: So I don't ever want to romanticize, like being with

1061
00:51:09,480 --> 00:51:12,000
Speaker 1: a wealthy man is just like so incredible and so

1062
00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:14,680
Speaker 1: amazing and so like, it comes with a whole host

1063
00:51:14,760 --> 00:51:17,759
Speaker 1: of its own shit. One thing I'll just say, overview,

1064
00:51:17,840 --> 00:51:21,839
Speaker 1: if you are with a man who a minority, right,

1065
00:51:21,880 --> 00:51:27,239
Speaker 1: who's a millionaire within a capitalist, white supremacist society, that

1066
00:51:27,480 --> 00:51:30,000
Speaker 1: man has to have believed in himself so much to

1067
00:51:30,040 --> 00:51:32,480
Speaker 1: get himself there, right, like you need to, because how

1068
00:51:32,480 --> 00:51:34,560
Speaker 1: the fuck else are you gonna write? How are you

1069
00:51:34,560 --> 00:51:37,880
Speaker 1: gonna move through all these fucking systems A lot of

1070
00:51:37,920 --> 00:51:41,520
Speaker 1: these men have as a result, they have God complexes.

1071
00:51:42,400 --> 00:51:45,440
Speaker 1: They they do have some bits of narcissism. They have

1072
00:51:46,040 --> 00:51:51,239
Speaker 1: high high egos like that doesn't stop at work, that

1073
00:51:51,360 --> 00:51:56,440
Speaker 1: comes home. These are their personality traits. So the personality

1074
00:51:56,480 --> 00:52:00,120
Speaker 1: traits that sometimes contribute to a man being extremely wealthy

1075
00:52:00,719 --> 00:52:05,280
Speaker 1: includes lack of empathy, being able to compartmentalize, not being

1076
00:52:05,360 --> 00:52:08,359
Speaker 1: overly emotional. Those are the things that we have seen

1077
00:52:08,480 --> 00:52:12,400
Speaker 1: historically make a great leader, and it allows him to,

1078
00:52:12,719 --> 00:52:15,160
Speaker 1: no matter what bullshit he has, go and make a

1079
00:52:15,160 --> 00:52:17,279
Speaker 1: lot of money. Now you bring that home and you

1080
00:52:17,320 --> 00:52:20,560
Speaker 1: bring that into a relationship. It's not exactly amazing all

1081
00:52:20,560 --> 00:52:23,040
Speaker 1: the time. A man who doesn't have empathy.

1082
00:52:24,760 --> 00:52:28,200
Speaker 2: Or now has these expectations of you to show up

1083
00:52:28,239 --> 00:52:31,799
Speaker 2: as maybe his soldier only because now science the leader first,

1084
00:52:32,080 --> 00:52:33,160
Speaker 2: he sees himself as.

1085
00:52:33,040 --> 00:52:35,880
Speaker 1: A leader all the way around. Unless, like when we

1086
00:52:35,960 --> 00:52:38,000
Speaker 1: spoke with a dom, a lot of them may want

1087
00:52:38,040 --> 00:52:40,879
Speaker 1: to get into kink submiss the roles in that way.

1088
00:52:40,920 --> 00:52:43,719
Speaker 1: But yes, I want to say this is interesting. So

1089
00:52:43,960 --> 00:52:46,839
Speaker 1: black women are surpassing black men in an entrepreneurial sense,

1090
00:52:46,880 --> 00:52:50,080
Speaker 1: and college degrees and finances by I think it's like

1091
00:52:50,120 --> 00:52:53,040
Speaker 1: six times or something. So if that's the case and

1092
00:52:53,120 --> 00:52:55,879
Speaker 1: we don't really need the money, let's just say, I mean,

1093
00:52:55,880 --> 00:52:59,520
Speaker 1: we still want it. But should women with money then

1094
00:52:59,560 --> 00:53:03,040
Speaker 1: be pursued someone who's maybe not the richest kind. No,

1095
00:53:03,160 --> 00:53:05,359
Speaker 1: I actually think this is where it's all fucked up,

1096
00:53:05,400 --> 00:53:08,719
Speaker 1: And I actually think women are completely fucked And I'll

1097
00:53:08,719 --> 00:53:11,040
Speaker 1: explain to you why, Like, no, I gent what I mean,

1098
00:53:11,080 --> 00:53:12,960
Speaker 1: we're fucked. I think I think if you're I think,

1099
00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:16,840
Speaker 1: if you're a woman who makes money, you have two options.

1100
00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:20,000
Speaker 1: Either dating a man with money. Now, that's hard because

1101
00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:23,440
Speaker 1: if you're in the one percent, there's only one percent

1102
00:53:24,239 --> 00:53:26,239
Speaker 1: for you to date, right, and you either work with

1103
00:53:26,280 --> 00:53:28,319
Speaker 1: all of them. And that's assuming the people in that

1104
00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:31,239
Speaker 1: one percent who financially match up with you also match

1105
00:53:31,280 --> 00:53:35,880
Speaker 1: up with you religiously, culturally, height wise, wait wise, look wise,

1106
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:38,640
Speaker 1: character wise, like all that. I mean, the chances of

1107
00:53:38,640 --> 00:53:41,160
Speaker 1: that are very fucking slim. So you're kind of fucked

1108
00:53:41,200 --> 00:53:44,200
Speaker 1: right here. Your other option is going and dating a

1109
00:53:44,200 --> 00:53:46,000
Speaker 1: man who makes less than you. Now, the problem is,

1110
00:53:46,280 --> 00:53:49,279
Speaker 1: I believe there's something innately within a man where if

1111
00:53:49,280 --> 00:53:51,719
Speaker 1: he does not make more money than you. Now there's exceptions,

1112
00:53:51,800 --> 00:53:53,400
Speaker 1: but if he does not make more money than you,

1113
00:53:53,680 --> 00:53:55,799
Speaker 1: there's something about him and his ego as a man

1114
00:53:55,840 --> 00:53:58,560
Speaker 1: that gets like compromised, like where he needs to like

1115
00:53:59,080 --> 00:54:01,359
Speaker 1: fulfill it some other way, which is why you have

1116
00:54:01,440 --> 00:54:03,480
Speaker 1: women who end up dating men who make less and

1117
00:54:03,480 --> 00:54:06,359
Speaker 1: then getting cheated on by those men because they can't

1118
00:54:06,400 --> 00:54:10,080
Speaker 1: seem to feel like men without the financial aspect of it,

1119
00:54:10,120 --> 00:54:12,400
Speaker 1: and now a lot of that is attributed to a

1120
00:54:12,440 --> 00:54:16,000
Speaker 1: patriarchal society. So you're kind of fucked either which way.

1121
00:54:16,440 --> 00:54:20,560
Speaker 1: Well guess me that enough. I mean, I don't I

1122
00:54:20,560 --> 00:54:22,880
Speaker 1: don't mean to say like, oh gooo, who, like we're fucked,

1123
00:54:22,880 --> 00:54:26,200
Speaker 1: but like, let's be completely realistic, let's have honest conversations.

1124
00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:31,120
Speaker 1: As a woman, it is hard to find a fucking partner.

1125
00:54:32,120 --> 00:54:35,760
Speaker 1: It just is. Your options are finding someone who matches

1126
00:54:35,760 --> 00:54:40,480
Speaker 1: at your level, which is hard. If you have fucking skyrocketed, right,

1127
00:54:40,520 --> 00:54:42,279
Speaker 1: if you have like a normal paying job and on

1128
00:54:42,400 --> 00:54:45,680
Speaker 1: normal degrees, that's great, you have more options. But I

1129
00:54:45,719 --> 00:54:48,239
Speaker 1: always said this, like it's really hard for me to date.

1130
00:54:48,320 --> 00:54:53,520
Speaker 1: I am six feet tall. That that in itself, the

1131
00:54:53,600 --> 00:54:57,160
Speaker 1: number of the doctorate, Yeah, with with with the jd J.

1132
00:54:57,719 --> 00:55:00,480
Speaker 1: I'm I'm barred in two different states, and then I

1133
00:55:00,480 --> 00:55:03,680
Speaker 1: have another degree from Columbia and out of call, out

1134
00:55:03,719 --> 00:55:08,000
Speaker 1: of law school, I was making two fifty. So who

1135
00:55:08,040 --> 00:55:11,319
Speaker 1: am I dating? And I'm Muslim and I'm attractive, so

1136
00:55:11,640 --> 00:55:14,520
Speaker 1: I have to you know what I mean, Like, there's

1137
00:55:14,760 --> 00:55:17,160
Speaker 1: there's a total but like ten men available for me.

1138
00:55:17,800 --> 00:55:20,000
Speaker 1: Four of them I've already fucked. The other ones with

1139
00:55:20,040 --> 00:55:21,480
Speaker 1: my girlfriend. I hate jam.

1140
00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:24,919
Speaker 2: So then let me ask you getting into the relationships

1141
00:55:24,920 --> 00:55:26,600
Speaker 2: only because I know we said we would talk about it,

1142
00:55:26,800 --> 00:55:29,560
Speaker 2: and I would love to know how you went into it.

1143
00:55:29,840 --> 00:55:30,600
Speaker 1: Prenups.

1144
00:55:30,760 --> 00:55:33,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, so a woman finally gets married, especially maybe one

1145
00:55:33,600 --> 00:55:35,520
Speaker 2: with her own assets or maybe not.

1146
00:55:35,640 --> 00:55:38,439
Speaker 1: We could talk speak to both women. Yeah, you feel

1147
00:55:38,520 --> 00:55:41,640
Speaker 1: like prenups are a good thing and need to be happy.

1148
00:55:41,920 --> 00:55:44,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I know a lot of women and men.

1149
00:55:44,040 --> 00:55:46,960
Speaker 2: Now that word has had such a negative connotation with

1150
00:55:47,120 --> 00:55:50,560
Speaker 2: and Jasmin and Chino. I don't fucking body you if

1151
00:55:50,600 --> 00:55:53,080
Speaker 2: you do the Primo. I love that show first of all.

1152
00:55:53,120 --> 00:55:55,800
Speaker 2: And she's an insane human and the reason she's she

1153
00:55:56,040 --> 00:55:59,280
Speaker 2: didn't know. Yeah, that's why you no one the fucking

1154
00:55:59,440 --> 00:56:05,040
Speaker 2: to me. The waits you think are a great thing,

1155
00:56:05,120 --> 00:56:06,279
Speaker 2: I think they're an amazing thing.

1156
00:56:06,400 --> 00:56:08,239
Speaker 1: I think they're an amazing thing. If you don't make money,

1157
00:56:08,239 --> 00:56:10,080
Speaker 1: I think they're an amazing thing. If you do make money,

1158
00:56:10,400 --> 00:56:12,640
Speaker 1: I think if you decide to want to be a

1159
00:56:12,680 --> 00:56:15,520
Speaker 1: stay at home mom, okay, and you make no money,

1160
00:56:16,239 --> 00:56:19,000
Speaker 1: but your man is making the money without a prenup

1161
00:56:20,200 --> 00:56:22,400
Speaker 1: when it comes time to get a divorce. Now, this

1162
00:56:22,560 --> 00:56:27,400
Speaker 1: berries state by state, state different different laws. What are

1163
00:56:27,440 --> 00:56:30,799
Speaker 1: you really walking away with? Whereas if you had a

1164
00:56:30,800 --> 00:56:32,440
Speaker 1: prenup and you're like, Okay, I'm going to be a

1165
00:56:32,440 --> 00:56:34,440
Speaker 1: stay at home mother and I'm going to get a

1166
00:56:34,480 --> 00:56:36,920
Speaker 1: percentage of this and this and this and this at

1167
00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:38,960
Speaker 1: least that because being a state at home mother is

1168
00:56:39,040 --> 00:56:42,759
Speaker 1: a job. Is a job, you baby, a job I

1169
00:56:42,800 --> 00:56:45,800
Speaker 1: would so this is what I mean, So the same

1170
00:56:45,840 --> 00:56:47,919
Speaker 1: way that you wouldn't. You wouldn't go into a job

1171
00:56:47,960 --> 00:56:50,040
Speaker 1: and be like, you know what, Bud, we'll figure it out,

1172
00:56:50,360 --> 00:56:52,000
Speaker 1: like you shouldn't go into a marriage and be like,

1173
00:56:52,040 --> 00:56:54,120
Speaker 1: we'll figure it out, because what do you mean? I

1174
00:56:54,160 --> 00:56:55,879
Speaker 1: need to know how much i'm a fucking get paid

1175
00:56:55,880 --> 00:56:58,560
Speaker 1: in case this shit goes left, because I've given up

1176
00:56:58,560 --> 00:57:01,120
Speaker 1: my life to be your part. And because we live

1177
00:57:01,200 --> 00:57:04,319
Speaker 1: within a patriarchal society that's going to allow you to

1178
00:57:04,360 --> 00:57:06,640
Speaker 1: go and date other women because you do not have

1179
00:57:06,680 --> 00:57:09,320
Speaker 1: to deal with agism, whereas I fucking do. And you

1180
00:57:09,640 --> 00:57:13,439
Speaker 1: do believe in a woman's value decreasing with I don't

1181
00:57:13,480 --> 00:57:15,880
Speaker 1: believe in it by society. I think we live in

1182
00:57:15,880 --> 00:57:18,720
Speaker 1: a society that doesn't. I think it's incorrect, but I

1183
00:57:18,760 --> 00:57:21,560
Speaker 1: think we do live in a society that unfortunately values

1184
00:57:22,120 --> 00:57:24,720
Speaker 1: values women based off of our age and the kids,

1185
00:57:24,800 --> 00:57:25,920
Speaker 1: that we have something.

1186
00:57:25,640 --> 00:57:29,040
Speaker 2: That will make me feel good because I, oh, yeah,

1187
00:57:29,080 --> 00:57:31,880
Speaker 2: I think get your fucking money. Broom boom, I think

1188
00:57:31,920 --> 00:57:33,160
Speaker 2: get your money in every way.

1189
00:57:33,400 --> 00:57:37,200
Speaker 1: How where do we meet them? Okay, so let's see.

1190
00:57:37,960 --> 00:57:40,919
Speaker 1: I think I was just in Dallas. I was staying

1191
00:57:40,920 --> 00:57:44,840
Speaker 1: at the ritsuh the bar at the Ritz and I

1192
00:57:45,200 --> 00:57:47,080
Speaker 1: got them oil men, listen.

1193
00:57:47,200 --> 00:57:49,640
Speaker 2: Take your texas they leave, because then you can't have

1194
00:57:49,680 --> 00:57:53,400
Speaker 2: an abortion. But uh so, hotel bars, hotel bars, but

1195
00:57:53,480 --> 00:57:57,040
Speaker 2: go alone. Girls like to go in groups. That's intimidating.

1196
00:57:57,080 --> 00:57:58,160
Speaker 1: So can I be honest with you?

1197
00:57:58,720 --> 00:58:01,160
Speaker 2: If you go alone and usually a dress like you

1198
00:58:01,240 --> 00:58:03,280
Speaker 2: just came from work though, because ye don't look like

1199
00:58:03,280 --> 00:58:06,080
Speaker 2: an don't looking at escort of process, not.

1200
00:58:06,000 --> 00:58:08,920
Speaker 1: That there's anything wrong with because there's not way you

1201
00:58:09,040 --> 00:58:09,560
Speaker 1: dress mad.

1202
00:58:09,880 --> 00:58:13,440
Speaker 2: I've had friends removed from bars because they were accused

1203
00:58:13,480 --> 00:58:14,640
Speaker 2: of being escorts when.

1204
00:58:14,520 --> 00:58:19,560
Speaker 1: Literally they weren't. Yes, yes, yeah, you cannot just go.

1205
00:58:19,680 --> 00:58:23,520
Speaker 2: Also, ladies to these bars and look like a sex worker,

1206
00:58:23,560 --> 00:58:25,800
Speaker 2: because there a lot of times are undercover cops.

1207
00:58:26,080 --> 00:58:28,560
Speaker 1: You will be removed from these bars, especially in major cities. Yeah,

1208
00:58:28,600 --> 00:58:30,919
Speaker 1: my roommate, I had when I was younger. She worked

1209
00:58:30,960 --> 00:58:33,360
Speaker 1: at a hotel called the Peabody in Orlando, and she

1210
00:58:33,400 --> 00:58:36,160
Speaker 1: said the number one tip that they would get where

1211
00:58:36,160 --> 00:58:39,120
Speaker 1: like they had to alert the security, was that the

1212
00:58:39,160 --> 00:58:42,320
Speaker 1: person wasn't ordering a drink the woman because waiting for

1213
00:58:43,160 --> 00:58:45,400
Speaker 1: and waiting for I think, I think, order your own

1214
00:58:45,400 --> 00:58:47,720
Speaker 1: fucking drink. Well no, they're saying like if you're a

1215
00:58:47,760 --> 00:58:50,040
Speaker 1: sex worker, oh oh got it, got it, you're not

1216
00:58:50,080 --> 00:58:53,160
Speaker 1: going to order the drink. But anyway, long story short,

1217
00:58:53,760 --> 00:58:57,240
Speaker 1: Uh so hotel bars. I agree to tell bars who

1218
00:58:59,560 --> 00:59:05,800
Speaker 1: I'll be here. It not the folle ring grandma ringtone. Also,

1219
00:59:06,040 --> 00:59:09,200
Speaker 1: that is a grandma ass work. My phone was transferred.

1220
00:59:09,400 --> 00:59:12,000
Speaker 2: Oh oh yeah, it's update. She ain't set her seting.

1221
00:59:13,160 --> 00:59:15,200
Speaker 2: It's going back to factory.

1222
00:59:15,320 --> 00:59:19,040
Speaker 1: I think I think at conventions and conferences like, okay,

1223
00:59:19,040 --> 00:59:19,880
Speaker 1: I'm going to astro Tech.

1224
00:59:19,920 --> 00:59:21,960
Speaker 2: You guys, I'm hosting an event I've ever first. I

1225
00:59:21,960 --> 00:59:24,400
Speaker 2: think afro Text is an amazing that's where you meet.

1226
00:59:24,720 --> 00:59:27,800
Speaker 2: I did also see and this was a TikTok that

1227
00:59:27,840 --> 00:59:29,760
Speaker 2: I just saw, but that made sense. My homegirl sent

1228
00:59:29,840 --> 00:59:31,160
Speaker 2: it to me because now we sing, we're trying to

1229
00:59:31,160 --> 00:59:34,320
Speaker 2: scope back. So there was another thing that again when

1230
00:59:34,360 --> 00:59:36,480
Speaker 2: you're a one percent, when you're a billionaire, a lot

1231
00:59:36,480 --> 00:59:38,800
Speaker 2: of them hang with other billionaire of course, so it

1232
00:59:38,880 --> 00:59:42,640
Speaker 2: was talking about, uh conference like whenever they do the

1233
00:59:43,720 --> 00:59:44,200
Speaker 2: boat thing?

1234
00:59:45,560 --> 00:59:49,720
Speaker 1: Uh, what's the thing? Our cause was the one Formula one.

1235
00:59:50,040 --> 00:59:52,360
Speaker 1: A lot of the billionaires go to the Kentucky Derby.

1236
00:59:52,360 --> 00:59:54,120
Speaker 1: There's a lot of even events that they all like, Now,

1237
00:59:54,360 --> 00:59:56,360
Speaker 1: you guys can all go to this stuff. So I

1238
00:59:56,400 --> 01:00:00,400
Speaker 1: talked about it a few months back the F one event.

1239
01:00:00,440 --> 01:00:02,760
Speaker 1: I went to Miami, where they like fucking I met

1240
01:00:02,800 --> 01:00:05,160
Speaker 1: the owner of F one Miami and he just star

1241
01:00:05,280 --> 01:00:08,040
Speaker 1: studied me. I think I was sitting next to Tiesto,

1242
01:00:08,160 --> 01:00:12,320
Speaker 1: Queen land Tiva like my names. But you can go

1243
01:00:12,360 --> 01:00:15,320
Speaker 1: to F one for like one hundred fifty dollars, right, yeah,

1244
01:00:15,720 --> 01:00:19,000
Speaker 1: get it, get it, get there. But this is why

1245
01:00:19,000 --> 01:00:20,520
Speaker 1: I say, don't go with too many people. Just have

1246
01:00:20,600 --> 01:00:23,840
Speaker 1: one girl, girl, because it's a it's a lot easier

1247
01:00:23,840 --> 01:00:27,120
Speaker 1: at moving person to those guys normally coming to But

1248
01:00:27,240 --> 01:00:29,400
Speaker 1: for a hotel bar, I could see why you said one. Yeah,

1249
01:00:29,480 --> 01:00:31,960
Speaker 1: I think you had another video about going out alone.

1250
01:00:31,960 --> 01:00:34,280
Speaker 1: Can you talk about that more for women? Yeah, I

1251
01:00:34,320 --> 01:00:36,640
Speaker 1: mean I just think it's a lot easier and this

1252
01:00:36,760 --> 01:00:39,880
Speaker 1: fucking sucks that we have to make ourselves more approachable

1253
01:00:39,880 --> 01:00:42,760
Speaker 1: for men. So like, I know, fucking sucks, but I

1254
01:00:42,800 --> 01:00:46,000
Speaker 1: think it's just you're more approachable when you are by yourself.

1255
01:00:46,080 --> 01:00:48,960
Speaker 1: I think sometimes men get really intimidated when there's like

1256
01:00:49,040 --> 01:00:52,400
Speaker 1: when like a group of five bad bitches, like they're

1257
01:00:52,440 --> 01:00:54,240
Speaker 1: just gonna be like, I don't know, and it's a

1258
01:00:54,240 --> 01:00:56,920
Speaker 1: good point that whatever. So when you're by yourself and

1259
01:00:56,960 --> 01:00:59,080
Speaker 1: you look like this is just something I do, like

1260
01:00:59,120 --> 01:01:00,959
Speaker 1: I'm not here for you, babe, I just like got

1261
01:01:00,960 --> 01:01:03,120
Speaker 1: off work, even though I am. I just got off

1262
01:01:03,120 --> 01:01:04,640
Speaker 1: of work and I'm just here to get a drink

1263
01:01:04,680 --> 01:01:06,880
Speaker 1: and this is what I do, it's a lot easier.

1264
01:01:06,960 --> 01:01:10,240
Speaker 1: I also think there's nothing wrong with like sparking up

1265
01:01:10,240 --> 01:01:12,560
Speaker 1: a conversation. That does not mean that you need to

1266
01:01:12,560 --> 01:01:14,880
Speaker 1: pursue the man, But if he's sitting next to you,

1267
01:01:14,880 --> 01:01:18,400
Speaker 1: you could bait him into a conversation like have you

1268
01:01:18,440 --> 01:01:22,080
Speaker 1: ever had the whatever whatever's on the middle, like do

1269
01:01:22,080 --> 01:01:24,200
Speaker 1: you know if it's good? And then he'll say something

1270
01:01:24,240 --> 01:01:26,760
Speaker 1: and you'll be like okay, but now you you've opened

1271
01:01:26,800 --> 01:01:29,680
Speaker 1: the door saying I'm interested in a conversation if you'd

1272
01:01:29,720 --> 01:01:31,720
Speaker 1: like we can have a conversation. You know what I do.

1273
01:01:32,720 --> 01:01:36,040
Speaker 1: They compliment your outfit. I have noticed my friends, my

1274
01:01:36,080 --> 01:01:37,520
Speaker 1: whole boys have told me that they're like, I love

1275
01:01:37,560 --> 01:01:40,080
Speaker 1: telling her of our sneakers. Now her head is gassed up,

1276
01:01:40,320 --> 01:01:42,960
Speaker 1: now she's open. I'm thank you. And then boom, you're

1277
01:01:42,960 --> 01:01:45,880
Speaker 1: not saying you're hot, You're saying something general. We already

1278
01:01:45,920 --> 01:01:48,240
Speaker 1: know you worked hard on your outfit. Like, I think

1279
01:01:48,280 --> 01:01:51,360
Speaker 1: there are ways that men are even sometimes afraid too. Yeah,

1280
01:01:51,480 --> 01:01:55,560
Speaker 1: now we snagged the rich guy. How do we keep

1281
01:01:55,560 --> 01:01:57,400
Speaker 1: how do we keep them? How do we set ourselves

1282
01:01:57,440 --> 01:02:00,360
Speaker 1: apart from the other women? Because we've been having conversations

1283
01:02:00,680 --> 01:02:04,240
Speaker 1: a few weeks ago, like, okay, do women compete? Most

1284
01:02:04,280 --> 01:02:06,320
Speaker 1: women Mandy and our guests at the time are like,

1285
01:02:06,400 --> 01:02:09,720
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna compete. I know we compete. I've always

1286
01:02:09,720 --> 01:02:15,880
Speaker 1: said there's already a competition. That's what the patriarchy is

1287
01:02:15,880 --> 01:02:17,880
Speaker 1: set up. It's for us to compete against them. For

1288
01:02:17,960 --> 01:02:20,560
Speaker 1: these men. Yeah, Like is that not crazy? But is

1289
01:02:20,640 --> 01:02:23,960
Speaker 1: there a way for a woman to stand out from

1290
01:02:24,040 --> 01:02:27,400
Speaker 1: the other women? I don't think. I don't think putting

1291
01:02:27,400 --> 01:02:30,440
Speaker 1: on an act to stand out is a fucking thing. Like,

1292
01:02:30,440 --> 01:02:32,520
Speaker 1: that's not how you are, Like I think, at the

1293
01:02:32,600 --> 01:02:34,960
Speaker 1: end of the day, you're gonna stand out if you're

1294
01:02:34,960 --> 01:02:38,560
Speaker 1: that person's like for them. Yeah, like there's there's you

1295
01:02:38,600 --> 01:02:41,000
Speaker 1: can't put on bells and whistles and do all this

1296
01:02:41,080 --> 01:02:44,400
Speaker 1: weird ship to stand out for a man and it's

1297
01:02:44,400 --> 01:02:46,600
Speaker 1: not who you are. And that's once you go into

1298
01:02:46,640 --> 01:02:50,040
Speaker 1: a relationship. Because once you go into the relationship, how

1299
01:02:50,040 --> 01:02:51,520
Speaker 1: are you gonna come How are you gonna keep up

1300
01:02:51,520 --> 01:02:54,840
Speaker 1: the act. There's so many times I've heard or men say, like,

1301
01:02:54,920 --> 01:02:57,480
Speaker 1: I don't have an ex that's ever said like we

1302
01:02:57,520 --> 01:03:00,880
Speaker 1: stopped sucking, because that was always me. They've never been like, oh,

1303
01:03:00,880 --> 01:03:02,439
Speaker 1: she used to dress up or do this and blah

1304
01:03:02,440 --> 01:03:04,760
Speaker 1: blah blah and stop. That was always me at least

1305
01:03:05,080 --> 01:03:07,760
Speaker 1: sexual aspect. Right, Yeah, maybe I stopped cooking too much,

1306
01:03:08,040 --> 01:03:10,920
Speaker 1: But I do know that, like the sex was always

1307
01:03:10,920 --> 01:03:13,600
Speaker 1: one thing that I felt like I was able to

1308
01:03:13,680 --> 01:03:16,880
Speaker 1: keep up with. And I've heard so many times in

1309
01:03:16,960 --> 01:03:21,120
Speaker 1: relationships and marriages men say we don't have sex anymore. Yeah,

1310
01:03:21,280 --> 01:03:23,520
Speaker 1: I've never I can't relate. I can't relate. I actually

1311
01:03:23,600 --> 01:03:27,400
Speaker 1: had a whole life. I've never maybe except for one,

1312
01:03:27,640 --> 01:03:29,800
Speaker 1: has been a relationship where a man has wanted to

1313
01:03:29,840 --> 01:03:31,520
Speaker 1: have sex more than me. I want to have sex

1314
01:03:31,520 --> 01:03:34,880
Speaker 1: ten times today, same and can go ten times and

1315
01:03:34,960 --> 01:03:37,080
Speaker 1: if we can, we're going. Yeah, Like I have a

1316
01:03:37,160 --> 01:03:39,400
Speaker 1: very high liby though, so that's not my problem. But

1317
01:03:40,240 --> 01:03:43,240
Speaker 1: that maybe for the man that like you meet, it's

1318
01:03:43,280 --> 01:03:46,760
Speaker 1: really important to him that you remember dates I don't know,

1319
01:03:46,760 --> 01:03:48,720
Speaker 1: and you're naturally let's say good at dates. You're going

1320
01:03:48,760 --> 01:03:50,640
Speaker 1: to stand out for him. Yeah, that's just a match.

1321
01:03:50,720 --> 01:03:53,960
Speaker 1: But you can't manufacture a match, and you don't want

1322
01:03:54,000 --> 01:03:55,240
Speaker 1: to manufacture a match.

1323
01:03:55,080 --> 01:03:57,480
Speaker 2: And you don't want to manufacture yourself to be something

1324
01:03:57,560 --> 01:03:59,880
Speaker 2: for somebody that is you're not always.

1325
01:03:59,480 --> 01:04:02,240
Speaker 1: Like yeah because he has money. Like, at the end

1326
01:04:02,280 --> 01:04:04,320
Speaker 1: of the day, somebody could have money, but if you

1327
01:04:04,360 --> 01:04:07,560
Speaker 1: are miserable with them, there is no value in that money. Listen,

1328
01:04:07,640 --> 01:04:09,720
Speaker 1: there really is it you If you wake up every day,

1329
01:04:10,480 --> 01:04:12,520
Speaker 1: if you wake up every day and like you're just

1330
01:04:12,640 --> 01:04:15,560
Speaker 1: unhappy to be there, that money in that fucking mansion

1331
01:04:15,600 --> 01:04:18,680
Speaker 1: and that panenthouse isn't gonna mean that what then what

1332
01:04:18,800 --> 01:04:20,480
Speaker 1: ends up happening is you end up beating a man

1333
01:04:20,520 --> 01:04:23,040
Speaker 1: who is good, who is genuine, who is sincere heat

1334
01:04:23,080 --> 01:04:27,240
Speaker 1: a poor boy. Sorry, no, no, no, My last relationship

1335
01:04:27,240 --> 01:04:29,080
Speaker 1: that happened. The person I fell in love with had

1336
01:04:29,360 --> 01:04:32,560
Speaker 1: way less than him and me, Right, But then I

1337
01:04:32,560 --> 01:04:36,160
Speaker 1: would be away on these great trips and just live

1338
01:04:36,200 --> 01:04:39,080
Speaker 1: in a great life. And I'm like, ooh, but like

1339
01:04:39,160 --> 01:04:41,520
Speaker 1: I hate the person I'm sitting across from. Yeah, And

1340
01:04:41,560 --> 01:04:43,840
Speaker 1: I think that being able to like see that up

1341
01:04:43,920 --> 01:04:46,240
Speaker 1: the mirror in my face, like really has taught me

1342
01:04:46,280 --> 01:04:48,640
Speaker 1: a lot about what I'm looking for now. No, I

1343
01:04:48,680 --> 01:04:53,080
Speaker 1: can't date someone broke, but I definitely less. Yeah, I

1344
01:04:53,120 --> 01:04:55,560
Speaker 1: think that's fine. Like, I think a man can be

1345
01:04:55,600 --> 01:05:00,000
Speaker 1: a provider and not be a trillionaire. Like I don't

1346
01:05:00,120 --> 01:05:02,520
Speaker 1: think a provider and wealthy are necessarily the same thing,

1347
01:05:02,520 --> 01:05:04,360
Speaker 1: because now there's a lot of wealthy men who are

1348
01:05:04,360 --> 01:05:06,560
Speaker 1: fucking stingy ast shit, ye'll give you no money. And

1349
01:05:06,600 --> 01:05:09,040
Speaker 1: there's a lot of men who are good men who

1350
01:05:09,120 --> 01:05:13,040
Speaker 1: make like whatever average is in your book of money,

1351
01:05:13,280 --> 01:05:15,560
Speaker 1: and they provide for you, they show up for you,

1352
01:05:15,640 --> 01:05:19,240
Speaker 1: they buy you on trips. I'll be honest, I have

1353
01:05:19,280 --> 01:05:21,600
Speaker 1: every fucking bag I want I've ever fucking I mean,

1354
01:05:21,640 --> 01:05:24,240
Speaker 1: I think that's a very fine standard to have. You

1355
01:05:24,320 --> 01:05:26,760
Speaker 1: just want some food or some trips, bro the mom

1356
01:05:27,000 --> 01:05:30,960
Speaker 1: give you that. The more money I've made, the less

1357
01:05:31,040 --> 01:05:34,520
Speaker 1: I've like want them material even like watches. I agree

1358
01:05:34,680 --> 01:05:37,760
Speaker 1: buying myself watches, don't fucking wear them. I thought Rolexes

1359
01:05:37,800 --> 01:05:39,520
Speaker 1: were gonna be my standard. Now I don't even put

1360
01:05:39,520 --> 01:05:41,760
Speaker 1: them on it when I'm walking down the street. It's

1361
01:05:41,880 --> 01:05:44,600
Speaker 1: all these little things that I thought would make me

1362
01:05:44,680 --> 01:05:48,640
Speaker 1: more attractive just to the world when I started making money,

1363
01:05:48,680 --> 01:05:51,960
Speaker 1: and now it's I've totally regressed. It's the weirdest thing.

1364
01:05:52,240 --> 01:05:54,440
Speaker 1: The only thing I will motherfucking do every time is

1365
01:05:54,480 --> 01:05:57,080
Speaker 1: laid out flat and I need to post. Literally just

1366
01:05:57,120 --> 01:06:00,200
Speaker 1: did that from from Dubai and I literally spoke to

1367
01:06:00,240 --> 01:06:02,000
Speaker 1: my friend when we were walking to the lounge about it.

1368
01:06:02,000 --> 01:06:05,640
Speaker 1: I was like to know that I just could. I said,

1369
01:06:05,680 --> 01:06:06,800
Speaker 1: I want to bed. I want to be able to

1370
01:06:06,840 --> 01:06:09,360
Speaker 1: lay down during this fucking seven hour flight to Amsterdam.

1371
01:06:09,480 --> 01:06:11,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I just bought it. I was like, wow,

1372
01:06:12,000 --> 01:06:15,160
Speaker 2: like the idea that this at one point only would

1373
01:06:15,160 --> 01:06:17,560
Speaker 2: have seemed possible with a man with money. I know

1374
01:06:17,680 --> 01:06:20,560
Speaker 2: now my mindset is, so what do I need these niggas?

1375
01:06:20,560 --> 01:06:22,520
Speaker 2: Bro I'm gonna be honest with you even when I'm crazy.

1376
01:06:22,840 --> 01:06:25,480
Speaker 2: If I'm taking myself African trip this year, if you

1377
01:06:25,520 --> 01:06:28,240
Speaker 2: need to be in the back up's fine, but I

1378
01:06:28,320 --> 01:06:31,000
Speaker 2: will in a fly like, wait, why are you shaking

1379
01:06:31,040 --> 01:06:31,439
Speaker 2: your hand?

1380
01:06:31,520 --> 01:06:35,600
Speaker 1: Well, we have both being economy. I don't know make

1381
01:06:35,680 --> 01:06:38,280
Speaker 1: economy money. The other one does that he has to sit.

1382
01:06:38,880 --> 01:06:40,960
Speaker 1: He can't upgrade himself. But no, like that, haes. I

1383
01:06:40,960 --> 01:06:43,760
Speaker 1: think that's the only I think that's the only thing

1384
01:06:43,960 --> 01:06:47,240
Speaker 1: in my life right now that you know. You're not

1385
01:06:47,280 --> 01:06:50,320
Speaker 1: upgrading your man, you know, upgrading your man with you.

1386
01:06:50,440 --> 01:06:52,920
Speaker 1: I'm spending four thousand and five thousand dollars on these flights. No,

1387
01:06:53,080 --> 01:06:55,040
Speaker 1: you not upgrading your man. I'm not spending that much

1388
01:06:55,040 --> 01:06:59,200
Speaker 1: on a man. No, no, I'm not. Okay, So, but

1389
01:06:59,240 --> 01:07:01,560
Speaker 1: so here's my QUI you're not and only because I

1390
01:07:01,600 --> 01:07:02,680
Speaker 1: like to do the devil's advocate.

1391
01:07:02,760 --> 01:07:05,720
Speaker 2: Okay, you're with a rich man. He flies first class,

1392
01:07:05,760 --> 01:07:07,520
Speaker 2: puts you on economy. You're going on the trip with

1393
01:07:07,560 --> 01:07:08,440
Speaker 2: him flying economy.

1394
01:07:08,480 --> 01:07:13,040
Speaker 1: I don't have to do the chivalry he does. He does.

1395
01:07:13,840 --> 01:07:16,640
Speaker 1: But I have a question. You're in first class. He

1396
01:07:17,000 --> 01:07:19,440
Speaker 1: just rode seven hours in the economy. How do you

1397
01:07:19,480 --> 01:07:23,040
Speaker 1: think I'm gonna give him? She said on a girl,

1398
01:07:23,680 --> 01:07:27,640
Speaker 1: actually only one girl. Mage I was flying from Bogata

1399
01:07:27,760 --> 01:07:30,560
Speaker 1: to New York, right, okay, And there was only one left,

1400
01:07:30,640 --> 01:07:33,080
Speaker 1: one seed left, and we wanted to get out for

1401
01:07:33,120 --> 01:07:34,600
Speaker 1: the next day and my ex was like fuck.

1402
01:07:35,040 --> 01:07:36,680
Speaker 2: We were like, should we split it? And he was

1403
01:07:36,680 --> 01:07:39,000
Speaker 2: like yeah, and we actually did. It was six hours

1404
01:07:39,000 --> 01:07:41,080
Speaker 2: we did three and three. Oh see, I didn't saying

1405
01:07:41,400 --> 01:07:43,840
Speaker 2: the same thing happened with me. My ex literally from Bogata.

1406
01:07:44,240 --> 01:07:47,000
Speaker 2: I got the first class. He was comfort and I

1407
01:07:47,040 --> 01:07:48,960
Speaker 2: allow I was too nice to that. Nigga allowed him

1408
01:07:48,960 --> 01:07:50,640
Speaker 2: to sit first class because he's six seven. I'm five

1409
01:07:50,680 --> 01:07:50,920
Speaker 2: to one.

1410
01:07:51,320 --> 01:07:54,080
Speaker 1: I'm sleeping the whole time. Yeah, sit up in first class. Yeah,

1411
01:07:54,360 --> 01:07:57,440
Speaker 1: never again. Nope, he was undeserving. I will never do

1412
01:07:57,520 --> 01:07:59,240
Speaker 1: that again. I'm first class. You go sit in coming.

1413
01:07:59,320 --> 01:08:01,000
Speaker 1: This is not Yeah. This has happened multiple times in

1414
01:08:01,280 --> 01:08:03,280
Speaker 1: I only did this were laid down otherwise. I don't care.

1415
01:08:03,400 --> 01:08:05,800
Speaker 1: I was upset. This has happened in my relationship, and

1416
01:08:06,040 --> 01:08:08,560
Speaker 1: I'm always going to be in first class. You can

1417
01:08:08,600 --> 01:08:10,920
Speaker 1: sit in the back even though you paid for it.

1418
01:08:11,520 --> 01:08:13,560
Speaker 1: This is like when a man lets me sit down

1419
01:08:14,080 --> 01:08:16,200
Speaker 1: when there's a seat avail about the bar. I swear

1420
01:08:16,200 --> 01:08:18,479
Speaker 1: to God, it's the same concept to me. Yes, it is.

1421
01:08:18,680 --> 01:08:20,559
Speaker 1: Wait what I have never had a nigga let me

1422
01:08:20,640 --> 01:08:25,320
Speaker 1: sit up anytime a bar? Yeah, like no, I'm getting

1423
01:08:25,360 --> 01:08:29,680
Speaker 1: seated first last week. Bro? You doesn't agree? Oh right?

1424
01:08:30,680 --> 01:08:34,280
Speaker 2: Well well real quick, Well, this entire conversation us clearly

1425
01:08:34,280 --> 01:08:36,000
Speaker 2: talking about dynamics of relationships.

1426
01:08:36,000 --> 01:08:36,920
Speaker 1: Tell you not in your head a lot.

1427
01:08:37,160 --> 01:08:39,600
Speaker 2: You nodded your head, you agreed, you disagree, some, you

1428
01:08:39,680 --> 01:08:43,000
Speaker 2: laughed at something. Well, what would be your overall consensus

1429
01:08:43,000 --> 01:08:45,840
Speaker 2: with our views of dating and how we're showing up

1430
01:08:45,840 --> 01:08:48,160
Speaker 2: and what we expect from men based on just this

1431
01:08:48,360 --> 01:08:49,879
Speaker 2: hour and change of conversation?

1432
01:08:51,200 --> 01:09:01,559
Speaker 1: That was crazy everything? I think everything right now? Wait?

1433
01:09:01,680 --> 01:09:04,519
Speaker 1: Oh so you want your girl to go to the bag? No,

1434
01:09:04,640 --> 01:09:13,200
Speaker 1: he want to be in the back. Yeah, let's be together. Okay,

1435
01:09:13,240 --> 01:09:19,080
Speaker 1: well you know what, why is struggling wife quality? Because

1436
01:09:19,120 --> 01:09:27,519
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be like that. That was tall. I'm six

1437
01:09:27,600 --> 01:09:30,839
Speaker 1: feet tall. It's hard back there, and I have bad knees.

1438
01:09:30,920 --> 01:09:34,320
Speaker 1: So your man is gonna be even taller. That's his bad. Okay. See,

1439
01:09:34,360 --> 01:09:37,200
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say this. This is to me the same thing.

1440
01:09:38,000 --> 01:09:40,559
Speaker 1: If I'm dating a man that maybe doesn't wear designer

1441
01:09:40,640 --> 01:09:44,000
Speaker 1: like I'm wearing, You're gonna buy him shirt? No, I

1442
01:09:44,000 --> 01:09:46,680
Speaker 1: ain't gonna lie I didn't do that with my what

1443
01:09:47,240 --> 01:09:50,000
Speaker 1: is available bag? Yeah, and you're gonna find it. So

1444
01:09:50,080 --> 01:09:52,920
Speaker 1: my point is, if I'm treating myself, you're not gonna

1445
01:09:52,960 --> 01:09:56,200
Speaker 1: feel weird at an event where you're like, you're decked

1446
01:09:56,240 --> 01:10:01,080
Speaker 1: out and and he looks I'll be in today's age.

1447
01:10:01,240 --> 01:10:04,519
Speaker 1: I think fla ship can Gosha could go without being labeled. No,

1448
01:10:04,680 --> 01:10:07,240
Speaker 1: I agree. Are you gonna let's say he doesn't have fashion? Tim,

1449
01:10:07,640 --> 01:10:12,759
Speaker 1: will you help? Don't? You got to be able to leave, Honestly,

1450
01:10:12,880 --> 01:10:14,200
Speaker 1: you got to be able to put that ship on. Bro.

1451
01:10:14,280 --> 01:10:16,320
Speaker 1: I don't think i'd be in that place where I

1452
01:10:16,479 --> 01:10:18,439
Speaker 1: be there. But I've also dated very wealthy then that

1453
01:10:18,520 --> 01:10:25,599
Speaker 1: can't dress precisely. Wealth is not so that labels I

1454
01:10:25,640 --> 01:10:30,160
Speaker 1: have been DATCHI lying, disgusting, philly and versachi, awful and

1455
01:10:31,240 --> 01:10:34,840
Speaker 1: grandy or I'll say that might be something on part

1456
01:10:34,880 --> 01:10:37,439
Speaker 1: with you. And it's what taught me that I could

1457
01:10:37,479 --> 01:10:40,600
Speaker 1: date a man that has a little less so just

1458
01:10:40,680 --> 01:10:44,200
Speaker 1: talking about clothes, right, A friend of mine shout out

1459
01:10:44,240 --> 01:10:48,080
Speaker 1: to Maurice. He said, I have to date a woman

1460
01:10:48,479 --> 01:10:51,280
Speaker 1: that has my same taste level. And I keep talking

1461
01:10:51,280 --> 01:10:53,160
Speaker 1: about this on every podcast and I couldn't believe how

1462
01:10:53,200 --> 01:10:55,360
Speaker 1: true it was. He said, maybe she's not making as

1463
01:10:55,439 --> 01:10:57,479
Speaker 1: much as me, and I think he's it. Okay, I

1464
01:10:57,520 --> 01:11:00,240
Speaker 1: go to Japan, you've never been. That's cool. But you're like, oh,

1465
01:11:00,280 --> 01:11:02,519
Speaker 1: did you go to this neighborhood? Did you see the herd? Yeah?

1466
01:11:03,439 --> 01:11:05,360
Speaker 1: I heard there's a really fast train. That means our

1467
01:11:05,360 --> 01:11:07,920
Speaker 1: taste levels matter for sure. So I think when I've

1468
01:11:08,000 --> 01:11:10,280
Speaker 1: dated men that have less like it happened to me

1469
01:11:10,320 --> 01:11:11,880
Speaker 1: a few weeks ago. I was getting dressed and he

1470
01:11:11,960 --> 01:11:15,200
Speaker 1: was like, Yo, are those rick rick owing pants? And

1471
01:11:15,240 --> 01:11:17,000
Speaker 1: I was like, no, but they look like He was like, damn,

1472
01:11:17,000 --> 01:11:18,640
Speaker 1: they got the same swag. Look at you with the

1473
01:11:18,720 --> 01:11:20,960
Speaker 1: dupe now we laughing about shit. I'm like, oh, so

1474
01:11:21,040 --> 01:11:23,120
Speaker 1: you get it. It doesn't matter if you're wearing three

1475
01:11:23,120 --> 01:11:26,000
Speaker 1: thousand dollars pants, you're getting it because those Dara's gonna

1476
01:11:26,080 --> 01:11:34,479
Speaker 1: hit niggle. Nobody will shame me out of Sarah Everara.

1477
01:11:34,920 --> 01:11:38,600
Speaker 1: But anyway, so, the taste level when it comes to food, hotel,

1478
01:11:38,720 --> 01:11:42,639
Speaker 1: stays all of it. Bro if he can't afford certain things.

1479
01:11:43,680 --> 01:11:45,639
Speaker 1: Even when I was broke, I was figuring out how

1480
01:11:45,640 --> 01:11:48,519
Speaker 1: to do X y Z, and I believe that is taste.

1481
01:11:48,640 --> 01:11:51,120
Speaker 1: I agree. I was if I could do it in

1482
01:11:51,240 --> 01:11:54,519
Speaker 1: law school off financial aid, you could do it with

1483
01:11:54,560 --> 01:11:58,320
Speaker 1: your regular paying job. I was making well. I'm in school,

1484
01:11:58,360 --> 01:12:00,439
Speaker 1: so I have what like a thousand dollars a month,

1485
01:12:00,760 --> 01:12:03,240
Speaker 1: but I'm going on trips and I'm looking good, and

1486
01:12:03,280 --> 01:12:04,920
Speaker 1: I still figure out a way to get on a

1487
01:12:04,920 --> 01:12:07,519
Speaker 1: boat situation. I'm telling you that you can figure it out.

1488
01:12:07,560 --> 01:12:09,360
Speaker 1: People just don't want to put in an effort, or

1489
01:12:09,360 --> 01:12:13,080
Speaker 1: they're not as resourceful, or maybe I'm not resourceful. That's it. People.

1490
01:12:13,160 --> 01:12:16,920
Speaker 1: People don't know how to I just keep saying, finesse like,

1491
01:12:16,960 --> 01:12:19,479
Speaker 1: you gotta know how to finess life. You gotta know

1492
01:12:19,520 --> 01:12:21,320
Speaker 1: how to like, you gotta know how to move, You

1493
01:12:21,320 --> 01:12:25,360
Speaker 1: gotta know how to you know, get get get Get

1494
01:12:25,400 --> 01:12:27,519
Speaker 1: on a fucking group on. There's some good shit on

1495
01:12:27,600 --> 01:12:29,920
Speaker 1: group on. Figure out if you don't have money, I'm saying,

1496
01:12:29,920 --> 01:12:31,800
Speaker 1: figure out a way to get get get it via

1497
01:12:31,840 --> 01:12:34,479
Speaker 1: group of be the men that take me to pay

1498
01:12:34,520 --> 01:12:36,280
Speaker 1: as you wish day at the galleries. I don't give

1499
01:12:36,320 --> 01:12:38,280
Speaker 1: a fuck. I see that you know what I like.

1500
01:12:38,280 --> 01:12:40,400
Speaker 1: You like what you're doing Tuesday night. Oh you look nigga,

1501
01:12:40,560 --> 01:12:42,840
Speaker 1: and you know you can pay a dollars instead of thirty.

1502
01:12:43,000 --> 01:12:45,439
Speaker 1: That's fine. At least be in there. I don't give

1503
01:12:45,439 --> 01:12:48,200
Speaker 1: a fuck. But that to me is like you get it, Yeah,

1504
01:12:48,320 --> 01:12:50,920
Speaker 1: that is what I want. I think making a little

1505
01:12:51,000 --> 01:12:54,760
Speaker 1: less than you is I is fine. I dated a

1506
01:12:54,800 --> 01:13:00,400
Speaker 1: man who made like, very very very low amount. What's that?

1507
01:13:01,840 --> 01:13:06,240
Speaker 1: Just curious? I mean, oh, go ahead, go ahead and

1508
01:13:06,240 --> 01:13:10,400
Speaker 1: get you. That's a very low amount sr No, no, no,

1509
01:13:10,640 --> 01:13:13,599
Speaker 1: it was like one twenty and that was low okay

1510
01:13:13,800 --> 01:13:16,160
Speaker 1: for New York. Absolutely, I can understood that that way.

1511
01:13:16,280 --> 01:13:18,120
Speaker 1: It was one twenty. It was it was just too

1512
01:13:18,160 --> 01:13:21,680
Speaker 1: low for me. But I was paying for everything. I

1513
01:13:21,760 --> 01:13:23,800
Speaker 1: just felt bad at that point. I'm not gonna hold you.

1514
01:13:23,840 --> 01:13:26,120
Speaker 1: That was my life. I paid for everything like I

1515
01:13:26,160 --> 01:13:28,840
Speaker 1: didn't for I paid for a lot like I didn't

1516
01:13:28,880 --> 01:13:30,920
Speaker 1: like that I like to eat and nice places. I

1517
01:13:30,960 --> 01:13:32,680
Speaker 1: didn't like that I would go to. I would want

1518
01:13:32,720 --> 01:13:36,759
Speaker 1: to go to a roll. This was literally like, babe,

1519
01:13:36,760 --> 01:13:39,240
Speaker 1: that's expensive. I don't want to just get into God,

1520
01:13:39,320 --> 01:13:41,600
Speaker 1: I got it. I got it so that I'm not

1521
01:13:41,600 --> 01:13:43,160
Speaker 1: allowed to sit here and argue with you. I just

1522
01:13:43,280 --> 01:13:44,360
Speaker 1: I'm craving this possible.

1523
01:13:44,400 --> 01:13:47,640
Speaker 2: And that's where that's where I realized taste matters, but

1524
01:13:47,720 --> 01:13:48,880
Speaker 2: also with restaurants.

1525
01:13:49,000 --> 01:13:51,080
Speaker 1: He literally almost to me.

1526
01:13:51,160 --> 01:13:52,960
Speaker 2: I felt like I was duped out of being able

1527
01:13:53,000 --> 01:13:55,280
Speaker 2: to enjoy the things I liked because he said, why

1528
01:13:55,280 --> 01:13:56,280
Speaker 2: would you spend that much.

1529
01:13:56,160 --> 01:14:02,520
Speaker 1: On a meal? Like, literally, I like everything here, experience.

1530
01:14:02,680 --> 01:14:06,760
Speaker 1: I agree this, and the ballet guy, especially in LA,

1531
01:14:06,800 --> 01:14:10,639
Speaker 1: doesn't take my ship. I why don't want? Yeah, well

1532
01:14:10,720 --> 01:14:13,160
Speaker 1: I started. I started secretly going to restaurants for myself.

1533
01:14:13,240 --> 01:14:16,360
Speaker 1: Myself same in my relationship because I was like, I

1534
01:14:16,360 --> 01:14:18,760
Speaker 1: can't pay for you all the time, and also I

1535
01:14:18,760 --> 01:14:20,840
Speaker 1: don't want to deprive myself of this of what I

1536
01:14:20,920 --> 01:14:24,120
Speaker 1: like to do. Yeah, but you know, for me, I

1537
01:14:24,160 --> 01:14:25,880
Speaker 1: at least need once a week and it doesn't have

1538
01:14:25,960 --> 01:14:28,160
Speaker 1: to be the Michelin or whatever, but like once a

1539
01:14:28,160 --> 01:14:32,320
Speaker 1: week of effort. I was dating and effort Like I

1540
01:14:32,360 --> 01:14:33,800
Speaker 1: was adating a guy in LA that took me to

1541
01:14:33,840 --> 01:14:37,680
Speaker 1: this like hidden restaurant in the middle of Rodeo and

1542
01:14:37,720 --> 01:14:40,559
Speaker 1: it was hella cute, like I loved it, and I

1543
01:14:40,640 --> 01:14:42,880
Speaker 1: thought like, oh, you're trying, like you got me the

1544
01:14:42,920 --> 01:14:45,559
Speaker 1: instagrammable spot. I mean, let me let me say something.

1545
01:14:45,600 --> 01:14:48,840
Speaker 1: Though dates are expensive, we talk about Michelin, A regular date.

1546
01:14:49,240 --> 01:14:54,719
Speaker 1: A regular date is oh a date. Yeah, the meals.

1547
01:14:55,040 --> 01:14:57,120
Speaker 1: I just hated Omar's kitchen. Shout out, y'all should go

1548
01:14:57,120 --> 01:14:58,479
Speaker 1: eat it. To the Lower east Side. I know a

1549
01:14:58,479 --> 01:14:59,920
Speaker 1: lot of you guys went to Cadence. They told me

1550
01:15:00,080 --> 01:15:01,280
Speaker 1: went in there and didn't know it was vegan.

1551
01:15:01,960 --> 01:15:04,200
Speaker 2: They told you that girl felt so bad. I looked

1552
01:15:04,200 --> 01:15:07,880
Speaker 2: at that menu and I was like, and there were fans.

1553
01:15:07,920 --> 01:15:10,160
Speaker 2: They brought food out from the kitchen. I didn't tell

1554
01:15:10,160 --> 01:15:12,439
Speaker 2: my friend, don't finish at all. It's good, but we

1555
01:15:12,439 --> 01:15:17,320
Speaker 2: don't want to eat the rest. It's vegan, but I don't.

1556
01:15:17,760 --> 01:15:20,479
Speaker 2: We only left because they also no liquor. I said,

1557
01:15:20,520 --> 01:15:22,200
Speaker 2: no liquor and vegan, I said, bitch.

1558
01:15:22,080 --> 01:15:25,160
Speaker 1: Now no, they got cocktails. Oh you didn't look at

1559
01:15:25,160 --> 01:15:28,200
Speaker 1: the Nope, there's wine and beer. Wine and beer is

1560
01:15:28,200 --> 01:15:32,519
Speaker 1: not a cocktail to me. Oh they made wine. That's

1561
01:15:32,560 --> 01:15:34,840
Speaker 1: not a cocktail. Oh anyway, Oh Mar's kitchen, they do

1562
01:15:34,920 --> 01:15:36,960
Speaker 1: have liquor. It's in the Lower east Side. Jamake a restaurant.

1563
01:15:37,360 --> 01:15:40,000
Speaker 1: We ate. I think it was one hundred and fifty

1564
01:15:40,000 --> 01:15:43,000
Speaker 1: five dollars. This Jamaican food. This is what I mean.

1565
01:15:43,560 --> 01:15:45,080
Speaker 1: I don't this is not a problem. Those are his

1566
01:15:45,160 --> 01:15:46,880
Speaker 1: prices and the food is great. And it's a it's

1567
01:15:46,920 --> 01:15:49,559
Speaker 1: a vibe, that's a date night. But literally I remember thinking,

1568
01:15:49,600 --> 01:15:52,519
Speaker 1: like when you think about going to like, I don't know,

1569
01:15:52,600 --> 01:15:54,760
Speaker 1: just a Caribbean restaurant, you're not thinking you're spending that much,

1570
01:15:54,920 --> 01:15:57,240
Speaker 1: but you're out here to have drinks. You're out here

1571
01:15:57,240 --> 01:15:57,719
Speaker 1: in the vibe.

1572
01:15:57,760 --> 01:16:00,760
Speaker 2: There's music there like this year then I'm going to

1573
01:16:00,800 --> 01:16:03,360
Speaker 2: find hopefully so, which is what I used to tell

1574
01:16:03,360 --> 01:16:05,240
Speaker 2: my friend all the time. Bro, you can't expect a

1575
01:16:05,280 --> 01:16:08,840
Speaker 2: man to take you for dinner and hookah three times

1576
01:16:08,840 --> 01:16:09,160
Speaker 2: a week.

1577
01:16:09,200 --> 01:16:12,360
Speaker 1: That's a thousand dollars a week. That's literally like fifteen

1578
01:16:12,439 --> 01:16:14,719
Speaker 1: hundred dollars. And on top of that, you want flowers,

1579
01:16:14,720 --> 01:16:16,720
Speaker 1: and on top of it, like sometimes you might want

1580
01:16:16,760 --> 01:16:18,920
Speaker 1: him to talk for your uber home. Sometimes I do

1581
01:16:19,040 --> 01:16:21,920
Speaker 1: feel for how hard it is for a man to date,

1582
01:16:22,200 --> 01:16:24,519
Speaker 1: especially if they want to date multiple women. I don't

1583
01:16:24,520 --> 01:16:28,280
Speaker 1: even know how the hell because honestly, they need to

1584
01:16:28,280 --> 01:16:31,040
Speaker 1: set up a financial course because they're really doing it

1585
01:16:31,080 --> 01:16:33,679
Speaker 1: out here. Like how you how you dating five women?

1586
01:16:33,800 --> 01:16:36,840
Speaker 1: Make no money and you but they're not. That's why

1587
01:16:36,840 --> 01:16:39,839
Speaker 1: they're inviting them to Netflix and chill. Now. I cannot

1588
01:16:39,960 --> 01:16:43,160
Speaker 1: date a dude that's dating too many people because it'll

1589
01:16:43,200 --> 01:16:44,920
Speaker 1: take away what he did for you. It really is,

1590
01:16:45,080 --> 01:16:49,439
Speaker 1: you're still on my resources I want to do and

1591
01:16:49,560 --> 01:16:52,320
Speaker 1: you can't. Is it because you just took this with Jeb?

1592
01:16:52,640 --> 01:16:55,080
Speaker 1: But but think about it, Okay. A man who's spending

1593
01:16:55,680 --> 01:16:59,599
Speaker 1: fifteen hundred dollars a week on his girl on dates

1594
01:17:00,240 --> 01:17:04,800
Speaker 1: multiple multiply that by four. Right, y'all got it? Dating

1595
01:17:04,880 --> 01:17:07,160
Speaker 1: is a rich man sport. Yeah, and then add rent

1596
01:17:07,360 --> 01:17:10,400
Speaker 1: and add and add car and add this, and there's

1597
01:17:10,479 --> 01:17:12,840
Speaker 1: no way he would be able to do all that

1598
01:17:12,920 --> 01:17:17,240
Speaker 1: making less than what like a couple of milks. Hmmm.

1599
01:17:18,080 --> 01:17:19,559
Speaker 1: I want to end this because I'm pissed.

1600
01:17:20,080 --> 01:17:22,280
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, sorry, y'all thought y'all would come here for

1601
01:17:22,360 --> 01:17:24,439
Speaker 2: dating advice. We just let you know it's rough out here, y'all.

1602
01:17:24,520 --> 01:17:30,040
Speaker 1: Dating is ghetto. The advice is just fuck him. I

1603
01:17:30,040 --> 01:17:34,200
Speaker 1: wouldn't recommend just fucking them, my eyes. My advice is

1604
01:17:34,520 --> 01:17:38,680
Speaker 1: just get get your ship, get your money, you know,

1605
01:17:38,760 --> 01:17:41,960
Speaker 1: pouring to yourself, make sure you're good and hopefully the

1606
01:17:42,040 --> 01:17:44,799
Speaker 1: right one comes and if not, you're still laying flat

1607
01:17:44,960 --> 01:17:47,800
Speaker 1: on your way to Singapore. Bitch, I know that's right,

1608
01:17:48,160 --> 01:17:51,640
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Listen that thing about us

1609
01:17:51,640 --> 01:17:56,320
Speaker 1: we're gonna lay flat without you thought, that's so crazy.

1610
01:17:56,360 --> 01:17:59,439
Speaker 1: So that I was flying back from Harris and I

1611
01:17:59,479 --> 01:18:00,880
Speaker 1: was in the pot you know what has the doors?

1612
01:18:00,960 --> 01:18:03,760
Speaker 1: The doors oh or the D and D bitchmar coming

1613
01:18:03,800 --> 01:18:06,920
Speaker 1: back had a massage, but oh yeah, the Delta. It

1614
01:18:07,000 --> 01:18:10,880
Speaker 1: was klm oh and it was ken you sitting in there.

1615
01:18:10,920 --> 01:18:13,080
Speaker 1: And I was literally reading a book called Rich and

1616
01:18:13,120 --> 01:18:16,320
Speaker 1: Pretty period. This nigga wasn't texting me back, and I

1617
01:18:16,360 --> 01:18:19,680
Speaker 1: was like, I'm literally one hundred and eighty degrees right now.

1618
01:18:19,920 --> 01:18:23,719
Speaker 1: I just have a fucking duck. Do I give a fuck? No? Nope, No,

1619
01:18:23,880 --> 01:18:26,720
Speaker 1: I can't give a fuck. I also, whenever I used

1620
01:18:26,760 --> 01:18:29,880
Speaker 1: to date a certain man, I'd be like, if four

1621
01:18:29,960 --> 01:18:32,240
Speaker 1: or five million dollars were added to my account right now,

1622
01:18:32,439 --> 01:18:34,920
Speaker 1: would I give a fuck? And the answer has always

1623
01:18:34,920 --> 01:18:37,599
Speaker 1: been no. And then I realized that that means I'm

1624
01:18:37,640 --> 01:18:41,280
Speaker 1: only sad because I don't make enough. And if I

1625
01:18:41,320 --> 01:18:43,680
Speaker 1: were to let me go, yeah, let me just make

1626
01:18:43,720 --> 01:18:46,719
Speaker 1: more money, I might be sad and rich.

1627
01:18:47,840 --> 01:18:51,200
Speaker 2: Better than horror conversations, the modern day woman is going

1628
01:18:51,280 --> 01:18:51,800
Speaker 2: to get our.

1629
01:18:54,520 --> 01:18:57,479
Speaker 1: But also, let's just keep in mind this is talking

1630
01:18:57,479 --> 01:19:00,600
Speaker 1: about being rich alone. Yeah, and I think that is

1631
01:19:00,640 --> 01:19:03,320
Speaker 1: the most powerful thing because I've been watching so much

1632
01:19:03,320 --> 01:19:05,600
Speaker 1: content and hearing so much bullshit over the years of

1633
01:19:05,680 --> 01:19:09,760
Speaker 1: women talking about being sad with a man's money. No,

1634
01:19:09,960 --> 01:19:12,080
Speaker 1: I'm saying you need to get your money. No, I

1635
01:19:12,120 --> 01:19:14,280
Speaker 1: know what you're saying, right, but this isn't a conversation

1636
01:19:14,360 --> 01:19:16,920
Speaker 1: that I've been hearing. It's always about Oh, if he

1637
01:19:16,960 --> 01:19:18,280
Speaker 1: gets you x y Z, well, at least you got

1638
01:19:18,320 --> 01:19:21,600
Speaker 1: this bruh. You can literally get that ship yourself. The

1639
01:19:21,640 --> 01:19:25,120
Speaker 1: way you're just fro my gets hard when I fucking

1640
01:19:25,160 --> 01:19:27,519
Speaker 1: do shit for myself. My life is so peaceful right now,

1641
01:19:28,479 --> 01:19:30,720
Speaker 1: y'all be like key glowing because I ain't worried about

1642
01:19:30,720 --> 01:19:33,880
Speaker 1: no niggles. Where can people find you so hard? Tell

1643
01:19:33,920 --> 01:19:37,240
Speaker 1: them what I'm on Tiktoki talks with so harr and

1644
01:19:37,280 --> 01:19:41,320
Speaker 1: then my Instagram sharm and that will be in the

1645
01:19:41,360 --> 01:19:44,679
Speaker 1: description of this episode. Y'all. Y'all want to hear more

1646
01:19:44,680 --> 01:19:46,960
Speaker 1: from Horrible Decisions, make sure you join us on Patreon.

1647
01:19:47,240 --> 01:19:52,200
Speaker 1: That's patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions. Sorry, thank you

1648
01:19:52,240 --> 01:19:55,400
Speaker 1: for joining us here. We're gonna have to do dinner

1649
01:19:55,400 --> 01:19:58,479
Speaker 1: and catch up, yes, but yeah, y'all, make sure y'all

1650
01:19:58,560 --> 01:20:01,240
Speaker 1: check us out, and this has been yet another episode

1651
01:20:01,400 --> 01:20:03,080
Speaker 1: of horrible decisions like