Speaker 1: Hello Sunshine. Hey, besties.
Speaker 2: Today on the bright Side, it's Wellness Wednesday, and we're
Speaker 2: joined by communications expert, entrepreneur and author of Seven Rules
Speaker 2: of Self Reliance Maha Abu Eleanin. She's here to tell
Speaker 2: us how self reliance can be a tool for professional
Speaker 2: wellness and how we can start creating opportunities to grow
Speaker 2: our careers and get closer to achieving our goals. It's Wednesday,
Speaker 2: September twenty fifth. I'm Simone Boyce, I'm.
Speaker 3: Danielle Robe and this is the bright Side from Hello Sunshine,
Speaker 3: a daily show where we come together to share women's stories,
Speaker 3: to laugh, learn and brighten your day.
Speaker 2: All right, besties, Today we're talking all about professional wellness
Speaker 2: with strategic communication and personal branding expert Maha Abuelnin. She's
Speaker 2: here to share her tips for embracing a growth mindset,
Speaker 2: managing your reputation, plus creating and seizing opportunities without waiting
Speaker 2: for them to arrive. Danielle her new book lays out
Speaker 2: seven rules for self for alliance that she offers up
Speaker 2: as tools to get ahead.
Speaker 1: You want to hear them? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Okay, so rule number one, stay low, keep moving. Curious
Speaker 2: about that one number two, be a value creator that
Speaker 2: makes sense. Number three, don't be a waiter. Number four, unlearn, relearn,
Speaker 2: and invest in yourself. Number five think of your reputation
Speaker 2: as currency. Number six be a long term player. And
Speaker 2: number seven live with no regrets.
Speaker 3: I'm so curious what she has to say about this,
Speaker 3: because the workplace can be tricky. I think it's the
Speaker 3: rare occasion where it really feels like the right fit.
Speaker 3: I've been in a professional setting for eleven twelve years,
Speaker 3: and I have to be honest, Being at Hello Sunshine
Speaker 3: is the first time that I feel like I'm not
Speaker 3: kind of fitting a circle to a square box, or
Speaker 3: a square to a circle hole, whatever the phrase is.
Speaker 3: I've always kind of felt like I had to put
Speaker 3: a put on or like not show up as my
Speaker 3: full self, or I felt so frustrated about office politics.
Speaker 3: I actually originally started going to therapy because I felt
Speaker 3: so frustrated at work. I didn't feel like I had
Speaker 3: the tools to communicate what I was dealing with or
Speaker 3: navigate conflict. And so MAHA's work is particularly interesting to me.
Speaker 3: I have a lot of personal questions for her, but
Speaker 3: there's a story that sticks out to me. One of
Speaker 3: the first jobs I ever had, I actually really loved,
Speaker 3: and I started there when I was an intern. I
Speaker 3: started really young, and I eventually had to quit because
Speaker 3: there was no amount of advocating.
Speaker 1: For myself that I could do.
Speaker 3: The higher ups were never going to see me as
Speaker 3: anything other than an intern, and so I had to
Speaker 3: leave in order to kind of personally rebrand, like Maha
Speaker 3: talks about.
Speaker 1: And I don't know. I look back on.
Speaker 3: That and think, I wonder, if I had the tools
Speaker 3: that I have now back then, would I have had
Speaker 3: to quit.
Speaker 2: I actually do think that you didn't have to quit.
Speaker 2: I think that you can stay and stick it out
Speaker 2: and you can slowly reinvent yourself in a work setting
Speaker 2: like that. However, is it worth it to spend the
Speaker 2: time there and invest in that workplace with the hopes
Speaker 2: that it's going to pan out and you're going to
Speaker 2: advance one day. I don't think so. So I think
Speaker 2: you made the right choice by leaving. This reminds me
Speaker 2: of this advice that I always heard. When I first
Speaker 2: moved to LA someone told me, no one's going to
Speaker 2: take you seriously until you're thirty. And I actually think
Speaker 2: that that's really true, and.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't simone. My mom told me that, yeah, I would.
Speaker 2: I would never talk about my age because I, I,
Speaker 2: like you, was interning and working in my twenties, and
Speaker 2: I would never, you know, volunteer my age because I
Speaker 2: didn't want people to know how old I was and
Speaker 2: perhaps judge me for being younger.
Speaker 1: So that's so relatable.
Speaker 2: I think in the workplace, perception is everything, and it's
Speaker 2: not just about the work that you do. It's how
Speaker 2: you're perceived while you're doing it. And I wish there
Speaker 2: were another way, but that's certainly it often feels like
Speaker 2: that perception is so limiting and so hard to escape.
Speaker 2: So I'm really curious like you to hear what she
Speaker 2: has to say about that. I think I dealt with
Speaker 2: perception in a different way in a workplace situation. I've
Speaker 2: learned that if you're not in a position where you
Speaker 2: have your boss's favor, it's time to go. If you've
Speaker 2: done all the right things, if you've tried, if you've
Speaker 2: put forth an effort, if you have been an all
Speaker 2: star employee and you still, for whatever reason, can't earn
Speaker 2: that person's favor, I think it's so hard to break
Speaker 2: out of that and I've been on both sides of it.
Speaker 2: I've been in a position where I did feel like
Speaker 2: things were going well for me and I had my
Speaker 2: boss's support, and then I've been in positions where I
Speaker 2: felt like other people in the office had that and
Speaker 2: I was just banging my head against the wall trying
Speaker 2: to figure out, Okay, what is it that they have
Speaker 2: that I don't, right, And then I just realized that
Speaker 2: maybe I was in a position where they couldn't see
Speaker 2: my full potential and I had to leave, and it
Speaker 2: was on me to show them that.
Speaker 1: It's so relatable.
Speaker 2: It sounds like that's what happened to you as well.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3: I think most people have an experience like that or
Speaker 3: a version of that at some point in their careers,
Speaker 3: which is really why I think MAHA's work resonates with people,
Speaker 3: because we're all trying to figure this whole thing out.
Speaker 2: It's that, and it's also the fact that Maha has
Speaker 2: this personal experience to back it up. So she has
Speaker 2: more than three decades of experience in global communications, advising
Speaker 2: corporate giants, startups, CEOs, governments, high net worth individuals. She's
Speaker 2: also the founder and CEO of Digital and Savvy, which
Speaker 2: is a global communication consulting firm and a host of
Speaker 2: the business podcast The Savvy Talk, and her debut book
Speaker 2: that we mentioned earlier, Seven Rules of Self Reliance, is
Speaker 2: out next month on October eighth.
Speaker 1: Maha Abu del anin Welcome to the bright Side. Thank
Speaker 1: you for having me.
Speaker 3: I feel like in your work you're trying to bring
Speaker 3: sunshine and happiness to people's lives, particularly in your new book,
Speaker 3: Seven Rules of Self Reliance, because you're offering guidance on
Speaker 3: how self reliance can be a tool for professional wellness
Speaker 3: and building a more sustainable and powerful presence at work,
Speaker 3: which to me equals happiness. Because when you have the opposite,
Speaker 3: you are one.
Speaker 1: Stressed out person.
Speaker 3: So can you start us off by defining self reliance?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 4: First of all, I love this question because a lot
Speaker 4: of people think self reliance is teaching you how to
Speaker 4: be independent, and I'm thinking it's the exact opposite. I
Speaker 4: want it to be your superpower. What if you could
Speaker 4: rely on yourself to make yourself the most powerful sit
Speaker 4: on the planet so you can bring value to other people.
Speaker 4: So how do you create value for other people? How
Speaker 4: do you get ahead by knowing things? By being a
Speaker 4: lifelong learner. How do you hold all the cards in
Speaker 4: your hand to be self reliant so that you can
Speaker 4: bring value to others? And those cards are skills, experiences,
Speaker 4: and relationships.
Speaker 3: You make a point in the book to talk about
Speaker 3: what isn't self reliance?
Speaker 1: Uh huh? I thought that was really helpful. Can you
Speaker 1: share that?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: I think you know a lot of people. Being self
Speaker 4: reliant means that you don't need help from other people.
Speaker 4: Go it alone, don't need help, don't ask for help.
Speaker 4: In fact, you do need help from other people. You
Speaker 4: just need to have self awareness about what you're capable of,
Speaker 4: what are you missing? And then where do you go
Speaker 4: get that help? Is it from a person, a network?
Speaker 4: Is it something you need to learn? Is it something
Speaker 4: you need to acquire? So that's what self reliance is about.
Speaker 4: It's about being resourceful and knowing what you know and
Speaker 4: what you don't know, and then go get that from
Speaker 4: somebody else.
Speaker 3: I'm curious, though, why did you choose the term self
Speaker 3: reliance if it's really so outwardly focused.
Speaker 1: I think it's because I've look back in my career.
Speaker 4: I've been working for thirty years, I've been an entrepreneur
Speaker 4: for twenty years, and a lot of times I got
Speaker 4: put in situations where I didn't have the luxury of
Speaker 4: somebody helping me.
Speaker 1: I had to figure it out on my own.
Speaker 4: And I thought, what's the common theme that's been going
Speaker 4: on in every job and every interaction with my family
Speaker 4: members or people. It was like I had to really
Speaker 4: learn how to rely on myself. And when I did
Speaker 4: rely on myself, I was surprised that I actually knew
Speaker 4: things I didn't think I was capable of doing. I
Speaker 4: actually knew how to bring value to other people. I
Speaker 4: knew how to be a super connector with A and B.
Speaker 4: I knew how to build my personal brand. I knew
Speaker 4: things because I'd never been asked to do them before.
Speaker 4: But then when I kind of got tested and my
Speaker 4: back was up against the wall, I'm like, you know what,
Speaker 4: I can be very powerful if I just tap into myself,
Speaker 4: invest in myself, have confidence in myself, trust myself, and
Speaker 4: then I could become unstoppable. And it really was the
Speaker 4: common theme in my career for the last thirty years.
Speaker 2: Okay, we want to go deep on a few rules
Speaker 2: from your book that really set out to us. So
Speaker 2: Maha let's start with the first rule. Okay, this one
Speaker 2: is stay low, keep moving. What does that mean and
Speaker 2: what does that look like in the workplace?
Speaker 4: So stay low, keep moving is actually a military term
Speaker 4: where you're basically on your stomach crouching down so you
Speaker 4: don't get hit by arsenal, and I took it as
Speaker 4: a metaphor for life. Stay low, put your head down,
Speaker 4: put in the hard work. I don't mean low profile.
Speaker 4: I mean stay low and focused on your goals. Because
Speaker 4: of social media distractions, people doubting you, telling you can't
Speaker 4: do it, someone putting an obstacle in your way.
Speaker 1: It's like sitting in front of your email.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 4: If you just didn't take inbound emails all day, you're
Speaker 4: never going to get your work done right, because those
Speaker 4: are other people's priorities coming into your life. The second
Speaker 4: thing is keep moving. You're going to have bad days.
Speaker 4: There's going to be economic downturns. You're going to get
Speaker 4: fired from that job. You're not going to get that
Speaker 4: promotion you wanted. Right if you have a bad day,
Speaker 4: tomorrow's a day to reset that button. If you can
Speaker 4: only give forty percent that day, you gave one hundred
Speaker 4: percent of your forty percent and that's all that matters.
Speaker 1: Maha.
Speaker 3: I'm wondering how you suggest we navigate a work environment
Speaker 3: when the work doesn't speak for itself, so when the
Speaker 3: relationships or the office politics play a bigger role in
Speaker 3: how people are advancing.
Speaker 4: I am a big, big, big proponent of advocating everyone
Speaker 4: to build their personal brands, and a lot of people
Speaker 4: will say to me, Maha, I'm not a social media influencer,
Speaker 4: I don't want to be that, or I'm not a company,
Speaker 4: I don't need to build a brand. I want you
Speaker 4: to think of the term reputation instead of personal brand.
Speaker 4: And don't you want to care about your reputation. So
Speaker 4: if you're at work and you're struggling with office politics
Speaker 4: or things that are happening at the workplace, you need
Speaker 4: to have a strong personal brand. What do people think
Speaker 4: about you? What do people say about you? How do
Speaker 4: you show up in the world. Are you a collaborator,
Speaker 4: a team player, or a problem solver or a listener?
Speaker 4: This is that's the reason why you need to be
Speaker 4: intentional about building your reputation because I can guarantee you
Speaker 4: if you're not doing it, somebody is going to be
Speaker 4: doing it for you, and a lot of people think, oh,
Speaker 4: I don't want to put my personal life out there.
Speaker 4: That's not at all what I'm talking about. I'm talking
Speaker 4: about your LinkedIn page, your Instagram page. How you treat
Speaker 4: people in real life is actually more important than how
Speaker 4: you interact on social media. How do you treat your colleagues,
Speaker 4: how do you promote the culture, how do you treat
Speaker 4: your team members, how do you treat your barista when
Speaker 4: you go to or your coffee. All of that has
Speaker 4: to do with how you show up at work, and
Speaker 4: all that has to do with your ability to get
Speaker 4: that promotion, to get assigned that project that's going to
Speaker 4: make you a rock star, and really being intentional about
Speaker 4: your brand, your identity, and if even want to leave
Speaker 4: that company and go to somewhere else.
Speaker 1: You have to have a good reputation. You have to
Speaker 1: find your narrative.
Speaker 4: You have to know how you want to show up
Speaker 4: in the world and be really, really intentional about it.
Speaker 3: If someone listening is feeling like they're not being recognized,
Speaker 3: what are the first one, two, or thre three things
Speaker 3: they can do to set themselves apart or make sure
Speaker 3: that their work is starting to speak for themselves.
Speaker 4: Well a couple things. One is you have to have
Speaker 4: good relationships right everything. At the crux of every successful
Speaker 4: person at work or even at home is you got
Speaker 4: to have good relationships with people. So you have to
Speaker 4: invest in what I call making deposits in other people's
Speaker 4: trust banks, right, doing good deeds, investing by creating value
Speaker 4: for them. If you want to get ahead at work
Speaker 4: and you want to like have your work speak for
Speaker 4: your self, you have to have a good relationship with
Speaker 4: people so you can talk to them about what you're
Speaker 4: passionate about. You can share with them the different things
Speaker 4: that you're doing at work that you care about. You
Speaker 4: can step up and volunteer to contribute on a project
Speaker 4: that they're working on, or you can ask them, can
Speaker 4: I be a part of this mission because I really
Speaker 4: want to spend some time volunteering because I feel like
Speaker 4: if I can contribute, you'll see what I'm capable of doing.
Speaker 4: So one, you got to really invest in building your
Speaker 4: brand too. You have to really invest in developing really
Speaker 4: good relationships. It's hard to network today, Like how do
Speaker 4: you network through LinkedIn? How do you master the art
Speaker 4: of the DM? How do you network through zoom on?
Speaker 4: Work calls, you have to think about that. I give
Speaker 4: actually a big playbook. There's two of the biggest chapters
Speaker 4: in the book have to do with how to do
Speaker 4: that networking through social media and DM and how do
Speaker 4: you do it at work through Zoom And the second
Speaker 4: one is how to build your personal brand online and offline,
Speaker 4: because I feel those are the two critical skills that
Speaker 4: today you need to know how to master. It's not
Speaker 4: a nice to have, it's a must have.
Speaker 3: It's time for a short break, but we'll be right
Speaker 3: back with Maha Abu Elanine. And we're back with communications
Speaker 3: expert Maha Abu Elanine.
Speaker 2: So earlier, Danielle and I were talking about two work
Speaker 2: situations that we had experienced earlier on in our careers
Speaker 2: where we felt like our personal brands weren't strong enough
Speaker 2: to penetrate the perception that other people had of us
Speaker 2: in the office.
Speaker 1: Yep, it's common, Yeah.
Speaker 2: It is common. And in my situation, I'm thinking about
Speaker 2: how I've been on both sides of this dynamic where
Speaker 2: sometimes in some work situations, you do have your boss's
Speaker 2: favor and things go well for you, things go easy
Speaker 2: for you, and then sometimes there's a bit steeper of
Speaker 2: a curve where like it feels like no matter what
Speaker 2: you do, you cannot get in the good graces of
Speaker 2: the people who are making the decisions.
Speaker 3: I know, my.
Speaker 2: Advice in that situation, I'm always like, if you have
Speaker 2: tried everything and you're still not in the good graces,
Speaker 2: then it's time to go. But I'm curious, from all
Speaker 2: your years of expertise, Yeah, what do you recommend people
Speaker 2: do in a situation like that.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I feel like if you feel like you're in someplace
Speaker 4: where you're not being valued, I think sometimes it's pretty
Speaker 4: obvious to you that might be a time for you
Speaker 4: to move on, to go someplace where you are valued
Speaker 4: and you are recognized. But I really think allyship can
Speaker 4: be a really big tool for people, like having allies
Speaker 4: who advocate for you, Like other people can speak on
Speaker 4: your behalf, but they have to have your back by
Speaker 4: knowing that you've delivered the work, that you've put in
Speaker 4: the effort, that you're not asking for favors, that you
Speaker 4: are doing it based on merit.
Speaker 1: And I feel like.
Speaker 4: Allyship is really really important. Do you have allies at work?
Speaker 4: Do you have people who you can mentor you do
Speaker 4: you have people that can advocate for you, and if
Speaker 4: you don't, then maybe you need to spend time developing
Speaker 4: those relationships even if you don't need them, because it's
Speaker 4: just good to have them in case something happens or
Speaker 4: in case you want to advance your career in other areas.
Speaker 2: Another aspect of this rule centers around being relentlessly focused
Speaker 2: on your goal and setting boundaries. Now, the idea of
Speaker 2: setting boundaries in a workplace can be so intimidating because
Speaker 2: you feel like if you don't do everything that you're
Speaker 2: asked to do, you are you're going to be penalized
Speaker 2: for it. Like I can remember talking to a colleague
Speaker 2: of mine and we had both sort of recently started
Speaker 2: this new job together, and she was like, you know what,
Speaker 2: I just know that in my first year here at
Speaker 2: this job, my job is to say yes to everything.
Speaker 2: That's what I have to do. I have to say
Speaker 2: yes to everything. And as I heard her say that,
Speaker 2: I was like, Huh, that sounds great, you know, if
Speaker 2: I were still in my twenties. But that's not really
Speaker 2: a It's not feasible for me, and I don't think
Speaker 2: it's feasible for a lot of people to just say
Speaker 2: yes to everything. So on the flip side of that,
Speaker 2: there's got to be boundaries. How do we go about
Speaker 2: setting healthy boundaries at work?
Speaker 4: I think the first thing is knowing what you can
Speaker 4: and cannot do, and really having good communication lines with
Speaker 4: your manager to talk to them about like these are
Speaker 4: the things I'm you know, like if you have children
Speaker 4: and you have certain hours where you know you can't
Speaker 4: be online because you have to do things for your family,
Speaker 4: communicate your goals and your needs upfront, but then also
Speaker 4: find other ways to contribute and other ways to bring value,
Speaker 4: Like I feel like my team members and this is
Speaker 4: a theme that we have. You know, performance is the
Speaker 4: key to independence. If you perform and you're delivering. I
Speaker 4: don't really look at how many hours you're putting in
Speaker 4: what time I have a remote organization. I can tell
Speaker 4: you what time my team comes online or offline. All
Speaker 4: I know is I care about that they get their
Speaker 4: work done, that they have the coaching and management support
Speaker 4: that they need for things that they need if they
Speaker 4: get bottle knocks or they need help with stuff. But
Speaker 4: I give them a lot of autonomy to set their schedules,
Speaker 4: and I train them and I trust them. I train
Speaker 4: them on how to do productivity remotely. I train them
Speaker 4: on here's the most efficient way to do things, so
Speaker 4: they're not spending the world, so they're not working twenty
Speaker 4: four to seven, so they don't have to have those
Speaker 4: boundary issues. And I do one on ones with my
Speaker 4: team all the time. I have to check in with them,
Speaker 4: how are you doing, what's happening at home?
Speaker 1: Are things okay?
Speaker 4: Like I don't want to be blindsided that they have
Speaker 4: a problem and I wasn't intuitive to their needs of
Speaker 4: there's too much on their plate or I'm running them
Speaker 4: to the ground, I'm burning them out.
Speaker 1: I really really spend time.
Speaker 4: I did that early in my career, Like I was
Speaker 4: just like task master, get things done.
Speaker 1: I don't care. We just need to deliver results.
Speaker 4: And you end up not even just burning on your people,
Speaker 4: you lose them and good people.
Speaker 1: They don't want that. And I don't want to work
Speaker 1: for people that are like that either.
Speaker 4: And the number one thing I always look for in
Speaker 4: my team members and I look at the boundaries, is
Speaker 4: like are they a pleasure to work with? Are they
Speaker 4: someone who's capable of managing things under stress? I always
Speaker 4: ask my team members, what does it look like when
Speaker 4: you're stressed, what drains you? So I know I know
Speaker 4: what drains them, so I know when I'm hitting the
Speaker 4: threshold of some there's going to be a problem. So
Speaker 4: it's over communication with your manager. It's understanding yourself and
Speaker 4: articulating your goals and needs to your manager so they know,
Speaker 4: and then finding the middle ground when there's something that
Speaker 4: might be a conflict to tell them listen, I really
Speaker 4: love to be online, but I can't or I can't
Speaker 4: deliver this today, but I'll have it to you by tomorrow.
Speaker 4: Be clear about your expectations and when you can deliver
Speaker 4: on deadlines.
Speaker 3: I want to talk about another rule in the book
Speaker 3: called don't be a waiter.
Speaker 1: I love this.
Speaker 3: I would like to say that I've built my whole
Speaker 3: career around this rule. So what does being a waiter
Speaker 3: look like in the workplace?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, this is what happened to me. I
Speaker 4: was having tea with a friend and we were talking.
Speaker 4: This is about twenty years ago, and he said to me,
Speaker 4: he's like, weh, you're a waiter and I'm like what.
Speaker 4: I'm like, what do you mean? He's like, you're waiting
Speaker 4: for mister Wright. You're waiting for your boss to give
Speaker 4: you the promotion. You're waiting for this new miracle thing
Speaker 4: to happen so that.
Speaker 1: You can lose weight. You're waiting.
Speaker 4: You're just waiting for things to happen in your life.
Speaker 4: And I wasn't unhappy in my life. I was going
Speaker 4: to work, seeing friends, I was in my routine, and
Speaker 4: then I went home and it sunk into me that
Speaker 4: I actually am waiting. I'm just sort of like coasting
Speaker 4: through life. I know that there's other things I want
Speaker 4: to do. I know I have dreams. I know I
Speaker 4: have ambitions, but that's like in the future, that's not now.
Speaker 4: I'll just do them later after I do something. And
Speaker 4: I stopped myself dead in my tracks and I said,
Speaker 4: you know what, there are things I'd like to do,
Speaker 4: And instead of waiting for someone to give it to me,
Speaker 4: am I capable of creating it myself? And if I'm
Speaker 4: not capable, well what am I missing? So people have goals,
Speaker 4: and people have an understanding of where they are today.
Speaker 4: Are they willing to do the hard work to fill
Speaker 4: that gap? What do I need to do to create
Speaker 4: that opportunity? Everyone thinks that someone's going to help them
Speaker 4: someone's going to decide for them, someone's going to anoint
Speaker 4: them the thing that's going to make them the rock star.
Speaker 1: I teach you in the book, and this is how
Speaker 1: I practice my life, and apparently you have to.
Speaker 4: If you want something, you're actually capable of creating it yourself,
Speaker 4: and I inspire you to trust yourself to do it
Speaker 4: and to have the confidence to do it.
Speaker 3: Okay, So I have a follow up question with that
Speaker 3: because I think the rebuttal to what you just said, like,
Speaker 3: if anything is going through people's minds, it's okay, yeah,
Speaker 3: that sounds great, But what if there are no opportunities
Speaker 3: to create something at work? What if my bosses don't
Speaker 3: incentivize that or even don't like it. What do you suggest?
Speaker 4: First of all, you have to be an avid listener,
Speaker 4: right so to anticipate needs for other people or to
Speaker 4: create opportunities, you really got to be making linkages and
Speaker 4: thinking all the time. I'm always like thinking, what if
Speaker 4: I connected this to this?
Speaker 1: Could that might be a potential for that?
Speaker 4: Like, you have to be aware, you have to be
Speaker 4: relevant to what's happening in culture. You have to be
Speaker 4: listening at work, you have to be listening to the market.
Speaker 4: The only way you're going to jump on opportunities or
Speaker 4: create opportunities is if you're in tune to what's happening.
Speaker 4: These things aren't just going to come to you. You're
Speaker 4: going to have to actually do some listening and thinking
Speaker 4: and learning. And I find that it's fascinating when you
Speaker 4: start to create opportunities for yourself and you're like, oh
Speaker 4: my god, I can't believe I actually did that. I
Speaker 4: created that from scratch and it actually worked and happened.
Speaker 4: It gives you confidence, and then you can do it
Speaker 4: again and again, and then I keep thinking, well, what
Speaker 4: if I really wanted to work with this client. I
Speaker 4: really want to get this client, I need to work
Speaker 4: on these three things first before I could even begin
Speaker 4: to approach that client. It's always in front of us,
Speaker 4: but we just don't take it. We just don't trust ourselves.
Speaker 4: And I feel like a lot of people wait from
Speaker 4: permission from others to do things and are afraid to
Speaker 4: take that step because they're like, oh, who does she
Speaker 4: think she is doing that?
Speaker 1: Just do it.
Speaker 4: You can't believe how rewarding it is inspiring it is
Speaker 4: once you do accomplish it.
Speaker 3: So that phrase, who does she think she is? Always
Speaker 3: reminds me of this Brene Brown Oprah interview and they
Speaker 3: talk about how everybody has one phrase on their shoulders.
Speaker 3: On the left, it's who does she think she is?
Speaker 3: And on the right it's am I enough? And everybody
Speaker 3: usually has one or the other. I think people that
Speaker 3: feel the am I enough? Which is I think probably
Speaker 3: what I feel. I oscillate between the two. But the
Speaker 3: people that feel am I enough? Are thinking this is
Speaker 3: scary because of a fear of failure.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Aaron, if you're in judgment, the people want to
Speaker 4: judge people like, I'll be honest with you. I've been
Speaker 4: doing communications for Google and Netflix and Deepak Chopra and
Speaker 4: Gary Vee and all these incredible names and people and companies,
Speaker 4: and I was like, I don't want to go put
Speaker 4: myself out there and talk about communications. People are going
Speaker 4: to say, Okay, you know, who does she think she is?
Speaker 4: Putting quotes out or talking about stuff. But then I
Speaker 4: took a seg back. I'm like, you know what, I
Speaker 4: have done some pretty incredible things. I shouldn't be afraid
Speaker 4: of other people's judgment. I do have value to offer.
Speaker 4: I do have unique talents to offer. And it's not
Speaker 4: just me. Everyone listening to this right now has the
Speaker 4: same set of unique talents and abilities, and they're not
Speaker 4: doing it because they're afraid of what people fear of judgment,
Speaker 4: fear of failure. And I just want to tell people,
Speaker 4: you're overthinking it, and once you do it, you're going
Speaker 4: to enjoy it and you're going to say, God, I
Speaker 4: wish I would have done this sooner.
Speaker 3: You've worked with so many expert communicators, you're an expert
Speaker 3: communicator yourself. Is there anything that you think expert communicators
Speaker 3: do really well that the average person doesn't.
Speaker 1: What's the through line here? I think it's pretty simple.
Speaker 1: I think you need to be yourself.
Speaker 4: And I know that authenticity is a big word that
Speaker 4: everyone talks about, but it's easy to do it consistently.
Speaker 4: Which is another effective way to communicate is if you
Speaker 4: are just yourself. Like who I am on social media
Speaker 4: is who I am in real life. Who I am
Speaker 4: in meetings is who I am with my niece and nephew.
Speaker 4: Like everyone, it's the same version of me. And I
Speaker 4: don't differentiate between work maha and personal maha because that's
Speaker 4: not how we live.
Speaker 1: We are like all in one bucket right now.
Speaker 4: And so I feel like the key to being good
Speaker 4: at communications is connecting with your audience and just being yourself.
Speaker 3: That sort of brings us to the final rule that
Speaker 3: we're digging into today, which is think about your reputation
Speaker 3: as currency. And this one for me is tricky because
Speaker 3: I think sometimes it's hard to evaluate your own reputation.
Speaker 3: We see ourselves differently than other people see us. Self awareness, Yeah,
Speaker 3: how can you evaluate your own reputation?
Speaker 4: The reason why I say think of your reputation as
Speaker 4: a currency is I want you to think about what's
Speaker 4: its worth, what's its value? How are you investing in
Speaker 4: it like you invest in a currency, How are you
Speaker 4: building it? How are you protecting it? Your name is
Speaker 4: the only thing you actually own?
Speaker 1: Ye, right?
Speaker 4: I acquired this sweater, I acquired this necklace, these headphones.
Speaker 4: I'm born with my name, and my name should be
Speaker 4: the most valuable thing I have. It's what brings me
Speaker 4: my income, it's what brings me relationships, it's what brings
Speaker 4: me business. And so that's when I talk about reputation
Speaker 4: as a currency. The steps you need to be taking
Speaker 4: a lot of people don't spend a lot of time
Speaker 4: thinking about what's my reputation? Ask your friends, like, what
Speaker 4: are some words that describe me? And then you should
Speaker 4: think okay this Or I asked a bunch of people
Speaker 4: what they think of my reputation or how they see me? Now,
Speaker 4: how do I want to be seen or how do
Speaker 4: I see myself? I met somebody who told me she's
Speaker 4: really good at problem solving, but when they come to
Speaker 4: big problems at work, they don't come to her, And
Speaker 4: so how can she show them Like I like to
Speaker 4: get my hands dirty and tackle something and break it
Speaker 4: apart and collaborate with other people.
Speaker 1: I'm like, you need to ask them if.
Speaker 4: You can work on a big problem at work and
Speaker 4: show them like she didn't have that wasn't part of
Speaker 4: her reputation at work is that she knows how to
Speaker 4: do that. She never got the chance to demonstrate that skill.
Speaker 4: So I encouraged her to go in and say, hey,
Speaker 4: I see a problem in the company.
Speaker 1: I want to give you guys a proactive solution.
Speaker 4: So you need to be forth right, you need to
Speaker 4: be proactive about it, and you need to be intentional
Speaker 4: about it. A lot of people just assume they have
Speaker 4: a name, they have a title, they have a reputation,
Speaker 4: it just is. No you can actually work on it,
Speaker 4: improve it, build it, grow it through relationships, through your
Speaker 4: intentional efforts, either what you do at work, what you
Speaker 4: do at home, what you do in your community, what
Speaker 4: you do with friends.
Speaker 1: And then you can also always get feedback.
Speaker 4: And I feel like the biggest thing that has helped
Speaker 4: me even as a leader and a manager at the workplace,
Speaker 4: is getting feedback about my management style, about how I
Speaker 4: can be a better leader for my team members. Feedback
Speaker 4: is hard to listen to. Nobody wants feedback about what
Speaker 4: you're not doing well. But I'd rather get it than
Speaker 4: be walking around blind and not knowing. Everyone says and
Speaker 4: thinks these things about you and you don't know. And
Speaker 4: that's why they say feedback is a gift, Like if
Speaker 4: you can give some of the gift of giving them
Speaker 4: that awareness, then they've helped you. They've helped you so
Speaker 4: you don't walk around blind making mistakes, especially if it's
Speaker 4: something that you're not aware of.
Speaker 3: So I went in to see and meet a new
Speaker 3: executive producer probably six or seven years ago for a
Speaker 3: show I really wanted to be a part of, and
Speaker 3: she looked at me and she was a straight shooter
Speaker 3: and she was from Chicago, which I am too, so
Speaker 3: I think she felt a kinship. And she said, listen,
Speaker 3: I'm going to give it to you straight. You need
Speaker 3: to do one of three things to get on this show.
Speaker 3: And she lists them off and she said, and you're
Speaker 3: not there yet. So here's my suggestion to you. I
Speaker 3: want you to email five to ten people who you
Speaker 3: think are really important in your life, who see you,
Speaker 3: maybe in different ways, and ask them three questions. The
Speaker 3: first is what do you think I'm best at? The
Speaker 3: second is what do you think I'm better at than
Speaker 3: most people? And three is what do you think my
Speaker 3: gifts are? Which are all kind of similar questions. Yeah,
Speaker 3: that's good questions, And I want you to see how
Speaker 3: they see you so you can start building a brand.
Speaker 1: And I thought this was what's the scariest thing the
Speaker 1: thing ever? Yeah, because you want to know, but you
Speaker 1: don't want to know. But you, guys, we need to know.
Speaker 4: We need to know, and other people are very good
Speaker 4: at it. So that's also your competitive pools. Like if
Speaker 4: you don't advocate for yourself, who's going to advocate for you?
Speaker 4: No one's going to put you the top of your
Speaker 4: priority list, like you nobody, not your partner, not your spouse,
Speaker 4: not your family. So you need to think about your
Speaker 4: name and your reputation and how you want to be
Speaker 4: seen in the world. Are you somebody who's kind and
Speaker 4: empathetic and is giving and wants to be in that area,
Speaker 4: Then you need to focus on showing people those traits
Speaker 4: that you have. And I feel like those three questions
Speaker 4: are great questions to ask, and a lot of times
Speaker 4: we don't want to ask because we don't want to
Speaker 4: know the answer.
Speaker 3: So I feel like there are so many tools to
Speaker 3: use nowadays with personal branding. There's websites, there's social media,
Speaker 3: there's headshots, and I think it can all feel kind
Speaker 3: of overwhelming. If you were starting from scratch today, what
Speaker 3: would you focus on?
Speaker 1: Where would you put your attention? So first I would
Speaker 1: do is listen.
Speaker 4: Listen first, Like, if you want to build your personal
Speaker 4: brand on social media, go and look at other pages.
Speaker 1: What do you like? What do you not admire about
Speaker 1: what they do? How they conduct themselves.
Speaker 4: Are they somebody who a lot of people do faceless,
Speaker 4: They don't have their face and it's just their ideas.
Speaker 4: It could be a handwritten note, a screenshot and posting
Speaker 4: what they wrote.
Speaker 1: It could be pictures.
Speaker 4: So the first thing you need to do is listen
Speaker 4: to what's out there and say, Okay, this feels like me.
Speaker 1: What can I do consistently?
Speaker 4: Do I like stake videos, no I am The beginning
Speaker 4: was like I don't want to be on camera. I
Speaker 4: don't like my hair, I always look fat, I don't
Speaker 4: like my makeup, blah blah blah, just all this negative stuff.
Speaker 4: So I'm like, I'm going to start building my personal
Speaker 4: brand by starting with the podcast one because I love podcasts.
Speaker 4: Two my voice is great. You can't see me, you
Speaker 4: don't get my hair looks good or bad. And so
Speaker 4: you have to do what you are comfortable doing in
Speaker 4: a consistent way. So that's the key to sustaining your
Speaker 4: personal brand is doing something you can consistently do. So
Speaker 4: the first step is figure out what do you want
Speaker 4: to talk about? And then who is your audience? Who
Speaker 4: are you trying to talk to? Who do you think
Speaker 4: you want to influence or inform or inspire or educate?
Speaker 4: And then how are you going to do it? Are
Speaker 4: you going to do it through LinkedIn, through Instagram? Are
Speaker 4: you going to not do social at all, you want
Speaker 4: to be a public speaker. Do you want to be
Speaker 4: active in your community? Do you want to start a
Speaker 4: Facebook group and be active there. I feel like a
Speaker 4: lot of people associate personal brand with social media, and
Speaker 4: I want to tell you you don't have to do
Speaker 4: it on social media. In fact, it's more important how
Speaker 4: you treat people, like I said in real.
Speaker 2: Life, Maha, thank you so much. We loved having you
Speaker 2: on the bright side and thank you for bringing so
Speaker 2: much wisdom.
Speaker 4: I enjoyed this so much and I would love to
Speaker 4: stay connected with your audience. If anyone has questions, drop
Speaker 4: me a DM, drop me a message. I'd love to
Speaker 4: answer any questions you guys have about personal branding or
Speaker 4: networking or anything that can bring value.
Speaker 1: Thanks Maha.
Speaker 2: Maha Abu Elnin is the CEO and founder of the
Speaker 2: global communications firm Digital Savvy and the author of Seven
Speaker 2: Rules of Self Reliance, which is out next month. It's
Speaker 2: time for another short break. We'll be right back and
Speaker 2: we're back. Before we go, we have a special message
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Speaker 1: That's it for today's show.
Speaker 3: Tomorrow, we're talking to Emmy nominated actor, writer and producer
Speaker 3: Natasha Rothwell all about her new Hulu series How To
Speaker 3: Die Alone.
Speaker 2: Join the conversation using hashtag the bright Side and connect
Speaker 2: with us on social media at Hello Sunshine on Instagram
Speaker 2: at the bright Side pod on TikTok, and feel free
Speaker 2: to tag us at Simone Voice and at Danielle Robey.
Speaker 2: We'll see you tomorrow. Keep looking on the bright side.