Speaker 1: Surprise, my little bunnies. Here is a fun little episode
Speaker 1: of what we're doing on Patreon, so you guys get
Speaker 1: an idea. Brian, Sophie and I have been watching and
Speaker 1: are reviewing the entire season of Bachelor in Paradise Australia,
Speaker 1: and let me tell you what it is a miracle
Speaker 1: of his ship show. Um and just so we don't
Speaker 1: seem like total money Grubb or creepos. You may remember
Speaker 1: at the end of last season we left Nerdice because
Speaker 1: Katie left Nerdice, so we left with her and also
Speaker 1: melt down closed. So I'm hoping to set up my
Speaker 1: own podcast studio in my garage. That's so I'll be
Speaker 1: just like Mark Marin and Anna's sweet guy said he
Speaker 1: could help me build that. So that's part of what
Speaker 1: your five dollars or ten dollars we're go to is
Speaker 1: helping to build something so we can just continue this
Speaker 1: ship show in my backyard. So here it is. This
Speaker 1: is the episode that based on the first two episodes
Speaker 1: of Bachelor in Paradise, we're gonna do another one. It
Speaker 1: will be up on Thursday. Brian and I Debbie Ryan
Speaker 1: has agreed to get onto this ship show train and
Speaker 1: if you guys want to watch along. Um, somebody emailed
Speaker 1: in her name was Susanne b. She found an app
Speaker 1: called ex pat that you, Um, I think you have
Speaker 1: to pay a membership, so you might have a you
Speaker 1: might be able to find a sneaky friend who can
Speaker 1: help you watch these for free. But um, they alter
Speaker 1: your phone and it tricks the country you're in, so
Speaker 1: you can watch it on your regular browser, so there's
Speaker 1: ways to watch it. It's so fun. I'm about to
Speaker 1: get to episode five, which we're going to break down
Speaker 1: with Brian on Wednesday. But it's where Daniel the Canadian arrives,
Speaker 1: as well as Grant the Fireman. And I think that
Speaker 1: Jared from Caitlin season does sometime in Australia, so we
Speaker 1: also have what we're doing on Patreon. We're also my
Speaker 1: friend Brendan and I are breaking down on real We
Speaker 1: are going to talk to this woman who wrote the
Speaker 1: bad behind the Scenes Bachelor books, so you can email
Speaker 1: any questions and quite honestly, it's for you guys, so
Speaker 1: let us know what you want to hear. What kind
Speaker 1: of things do you want for bonus episodes? Um, So
Speaker 1: there you have it. Here's here's a little a little
Speaker 1: taste test of what we're doing on Patreon and if
Speaker 1: you like it, go to patreon dot com. That's p
Speaker 1: A t R e o N dot com backslash w
Speaker 1: y A t R. Because we're just starting the Bachelor
Speaker 1: in Paradise Australia thing. Now We've only the only episode
Speaker 1: that's up is this one, and we're about to record
Speaker 1: another one. So I hope you like it, hope you
Speaker 1: get on the bandwagon trying to build a podcast studio. Okay, bye,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm so excited. I needed this. I've
Speaker 1: been so cranky. I feel like this is my prozac.
Speaker 1: You know, Yeah, where you accept this? Are you ready
Speaker 1: to hear me attempt to do in most next feels?
Speaker 1: By the way, what I have discovered is it's the
Speaker 1: hardest because every time I watched this, I kept trying
Speaker 1: to do what I can't talk it all out? Oh
Speaker 1: my god, don't you feel like I feel like finally
Speaker 1: I'm safe. Just listen to this this rose. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: let the circle be unbroken. Friendship, it's your friendship. Were
Speaker 1: starting you guys were starting a club or in the coven. Hello,
Speaker 1: my name is Arta Marine I'm host of Will You
Speaker 1: Accept This Rose? We are off roading on Patreon and
Speaker 1: I've stolen a podcast cole host. He's sneaking. He's sneaking
Speaker 1: just as a guest host. Just as a guest host.
Speaker 1: He's my he's my friendship lover. He is in a
Speaker 1: club with me with that has two members others me.
Speaker 1: I guess there's three members to remember? Is there so many?
Speaker 1: I am in part of a club. It's called the
Speaker 1: Cone Club. It's me, Lauren Lapkiss and this gentleman. He's
Speaker 1: also the host of Throwing Shade podcast. He looks great
Speaker 1: in a mustache. I was trying to get him to
Speaker 1: live in my backyard, Bryant. I want to show you
Speaker 1: my backyard and see if you might want to live
Speaker 1: in it. To my right, a woman that I just
Speaker 1: logged in I like in some eye torture and she
Speaker 1: gets texts when I die, which will probably be tomorrow,
Speaker 1: and I do expect a full parade. I will expect
Speaker 1: a full parade. Nude nude from the waist down, dude
Speaker 1: from the waist down, Barbara Bush style nude from the
Speaker 1: waist down. I told Anna, when I die, one of
Speaker 1: the things that needs I am the worst texter or ever.
Speaker 1: I even if I kind of even if I type
Speaker 1: it auto crisp, I cannot send a text with the
Speaker 1: proper wording. Just fucking fired off looks just as to
Speaker 1: poor human who I adore so much, and I just
Speaker 1: broke it down in Tas with Miss Anna Honey. Her
Speaker 1: also hosts the very thriving and popular podcast Ethnically Ambiguous.
Speaker 1: Yes they do thriving. I don't know about that. I
Speaker 1: consider you thriving. You got a free mattress. I do
Speaker 1: get a free mattress. Um also with us a man
Speaker 1: that also came with us to TA who Pagrick Brewster
Speaker 1: pointed out, looks like Bill Murray from the mouth down
Speaker 1: and whoever. And our engineer, Mr Zach you know what,
Speaker 1: he turned around and I saw it, like cute in
Speaker 1: his prime and his prime and his prime like a
Speaker 1: kid is much better hair and much cute. He's like
Speaker 1: Surf Murray. He's surf Yeah, he's like Surf Murray's. By
Speaker 1: the way, anyone picture that surfer? How did that never happen?
Speaker 1: How did that may never got made? I feel like
Speaker 1: he maybe not doesn't want to go in the water
Speaker 1: or something. Give any financial tips, and yeah, financial tips,
Speaker 1: I'm putting on my money in real estate? Is that
Speaker 1: about ik? That is down a lot? Is it? If
Speaker 1: I want to buy the SMP five hundred? Is now
Speaker 1: a good time? You have that kind of money? Can't
Speaker 1: you buy like a thousand dollars worth? How much do
Speaker 1: you need to spend it? Buy it? Just a it's
Speaker 1: just a mutual fund. Oh, you know if you don't
Speaker 1: know what that is, I don't know what it is.
Speaker 1: I don't know what it's at right now. I'm not
Speaker 1: asking that's two grand over one? No, obviously not, because
Speaker 1: I wear the same fucking overalls every day and you
Speaker 1: you have to pry them off my my body as
Speaker 1: you as you do the nude from the waist down. Bartra,
Speaker 1: Oh my god. I did a stand up show last night.
Speaker 1: Can I just say it was painful? Like there were here?
Speaker 1: It was there were It was like there were people
Speaker 1: just staring at us. And then I made fun of
Speaker 1: a woman in the audience. He was just glaring at us.
Speaker 1: And then she pulled out a notebook and started taking notes.
Speaker 1: And I think she was a development executive. I just
Speaker 1: didn't have it in me to be judged. You know
Speaker 1: what I mean, I didn't have it in me. I mean,
Speaker 1: but someone pulled like this isn't like what is that
Speaker 1: show the marvelous Mrs mays, that's like that's when they
Speaker 1: pulled out notebooks. Seriously, I'm like you, Alex. Ale she
Speaker 1: pulled out a notebook. It was Alex, but it was like, Alex,
Speaker 1: I know you, why are you? You could just tell
Speaker 1: me to my face what you don't like about my act.
Speaker 1: I can tell you where my flaws are and also
Speaker 1: what kind of notes just funny or not funny? Not funny?
Speaker 1: Made fun of me? Not funny? I know. I think
Speaker 1: I picked to the wrong person before we get going on,
Speaker 1: which I could not be more excited about starting this,
Speaker 1: this adventure of our podcast. I want to thank everybody
Speaker 1: that came out to Austin. It was it was so fun.
Speaker 1: And to the crew Laura Simpson and her crew who
Speaker 1: sent us the wine. And I owe an apology to
Speaker 1: Seth that when I was in Texas in Dallas, the
Speaker 1: dingdong at the door goes that, girlf we're talking about
Speaker 1: another woman that I was pretty convinced was gonna murder me.
Speaker 1: He's like, he's twenty seven he's fifty five. Seth about
Speaker 1: is thirty five years old. He tweeted me. I called
Speaker 1: him fifty on stage. He tweeted me and he said,
Speaker 1: I guess new fifty Seth that who we love love,
Speaker 1: I owe you an apology. And I say this as
Speaker 1: a ninety eight years young woman. I believe that the
Speaker 1: dummy at the door that called me the girl come
Speaker 1: So I guess I didn't have Oh not not because
Speaker 1: you're the girl. Everybody's on this podcast has already heard this.
Speaker 1: You're a girl comment. Crant I got jokes for you.
Speaker 1: You know, they say there's two comes of people in
Speaker 1: this world. I'll say there's two comes of titties in
Speaker 1: this world. A left titty and a rat titty. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, I would have. I would have. It would
Speaker 1: be the first time in my life. I would have
Speaker 1: put all my money into a lear jet and I
Speaker 1: would have I would have flown privately. She was like,
Speaker 1: I actually found that it gave me superpower because for
Speaker 1: the first time in my life. I actually I had
Speaker 1: just had it that we I kicked out fifteen people
Speaker 1: from a show. There was just all these like hammered fifteen.
Speaker 1: They were like twenty year old boys, and they were
Speaker 1: just like strunk and when of them kept going bo
Speaker 1: and I was like, you know what, Like I dealt
Speaker 1: with him a few times, like I'm going call me
Speaker 1: and I was like, you know what, I'm done, Like
Speaker 1: get them out. I'd like sick, para is I did?
Speaker 1: I kicked him out. Um, I felt pretty good. So
Speaker 1: what we're about to do, We're about to start our journey.
Speaker 1: Here's our bonus out. This is the most excited I've
Speaker 1: been in a long time in life. Really, we hunted
Speaker 1: down and I'm not going to say who helped me
Speaker 1: get access to this set that. But we are now reviewing.
Speaker 1: We are we are doing. We are reviewing the season
Speaker 1: of What is Like? Why Is It? Why is Being
Speaker 1: Hidden from Us? The greatest television show on the planet
Speaker 1: right now, Bachelor in Paradise, Australia. We're about to review
Speaker 1: the entire season. Find it your friend who's good with technology,
Speaker 1: who can help you illegally download these So right now
Speaker 1: we're just going to do the first two episodes. Overall, guys,
Speaker 1: I am loving it. I like it. I think even
Speaker 1: better than the American version because, first of all, like
Speaker 1: on the very shallow level, the bodies are out rage
Speaker 1: a butterface of the guys. Guys are looking. The women
Speaker 1: are beautiful and natural, like the women are not all
Speaker 1: the women. A lot of the women are fairly natural
Speaker 1: and beautiful. The guys are rocking bods. Butterfish, butter There
Speaker 1: isn't one. There isn't one guy there even honestly full
Speaker 1: package wise, even with the body that I would necessarily
Speaker 1: want to wake up. Okay, so if you guys, because
Speaker 1: again I guess none of you have seen this show.
Speaker 1: So here's right. Here's the lay of the land overall,
Speaker 1: just comparing just out of the gate Way better Resort.
Speaker 1: They're all in Fiji, stunning, non pre mean like so
Speaker 1: such like the water is crystal Caribbean blue. The actual
Speaker 1: resort looks clean, like the accommodations are like so nice.
Speaker 1: There doesn't there's no shots of any sort of like
Speaker 1: beach insects and yeah, it's just and they like decorated
Speaker 1: with a lot of like hanging basket pended. It's like
Speaker 1: it's like a it is actually paradise. The other one
Speaker 1: is like Bachelor in I guess you couldn't afford the
Speaker 1: four seasons. Yeah, this is this is like opens the
Speaker 1: tiny like you walk into that. It's so beautiful. It's
Speaker 1: so beautiful. It's like the paradise in the American Paradise.
Speaker 1: It's like kind of like a broke down shed paradise. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we painted it orange. You know, it's nice. Yeah, what
Speaker 1: is that word that I learned about? What is that?
Speaker 1: Like me, like, what is it? When it's there's like
Speaker 1: a tropical canopy that I'd learned that I'd never heard,
Speaker 1: like like like kept wanting to sit under on that.
Speaker 1: We did this in another podcast. I don't know, Okay,
Speaker 1: I wish it was a mosquito net. Then the host
Speaker 1: the host, I, okay, I look it is ausher. His
Speaker 1: hair it looks like Carmen Diaz and something about Mary.
Speaker 1: His bangs are just straight up and like a it's
Speaker 1: like a studnam me of just straight Like it's like
Speaker 1: he couldn't even do the full falcon. It's just he
Speaker 1: went up and he wanted to swoop back, but it
Speaker 1: hardened so fast that it is just straight up in
Speaker 1: the front. And I've also never seen someone completely void
Speaker 1: of cynicism like Chris Harrison has an edge, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, Like you can tell it and think
Speaker 1: some of it is funny, Ausher, it just is truly
Speaker 1: like he's like, this is the best time I've ever
Speaker 1: had to google him him. There's darkness. Yes, he had
Speaker 1: admitted last year that he has social anxiety disorder and
Speaker 1: I believe maybe bipolar. He might Why you can read well,
Speaker 1: he's on an up straight. The mania is the peak
Speaker 1: on everything's going great. I don't want to be there
Speaker 1: when that camera does like to book the seasons to
Speaker 1: like fit in with his main Yes, I also feel like,
Speaker 1: and this is maybe not a very nice thing. I
Speaker 1: also feel like he has the body which I really like,
Speaker 1: which is like you've either just lost a ton of
Speaker 1: weight bringer about to gain you are you are in
Speaker 1: betwehich is me, which is my body? You're in between
Speaker 1: her and I find that so sexial. I know that
Speaker 1: a photo sent to me from my performance last night
Speaker 1: where I was like feeling pretty cute in my outfit
Speaker 1: and then I saw it and you know, like the
Speaker 1: drawings of like Eloise like like like I looked like
Speaker 1: a six year old just did in my tights and
Speaker 1: it was like like I was like I looked like
Speaker 1: a little girl who just let her gut out hanging
Speaker 1: in my but it was just like I thought, I
Speaker 1: looked so much cuter than I looked. It was such
Speaker 1: a lot ton and I was like, am I in
Speaker 1: an in between her? Right now? Did the picture you
Speaker 1: hated yourself is exactly what you look like all the time.
Speaker 1: You know what I think I do? I think I do.
Speaker 1: I was feeling good about myself. Is like I influenza
Speaker 1: at in Alaska like a month ago, and even though
Speaker 1: I was like delirious and insane, I was like, if
Speaker 1: you take tama flu, you basically lie in your couch
Speaker 1: and when you're not shipping. Ry was like god gray,
Speaker 1: but like the as a rail and then Grandma, I
Speaker 1: mean I looked like a like a crypt keeper. But
Speaker 1: then I like, now I look whatever. I know, I'm perfectly.
Speaker 1: I feel good about myself. I'm not trying to body positive.
Speaker 1: God no, I loved his body because it made me so. Then,
Speaker 1: so here's the here's the beauty Anna you mentioned to me,
Speaker 1: because we we we we don't discuss any of this
Speaker 1: until we get going. Overall, the Australians are just so
Speaker 1: much more like they just feel like so much more
Speaker 1: low key, like they're just more fun they're chill. That
Speaker 1: shocked me because I thought they were going to be
Speaker 1: messy as like, I thought they were going to be
Speaker 1: just loud and obnoxious. But they're all really kind of yeah,
Speaker 1: just kind of cool with each other and gets on
Speaker 1: how keep it interesting and it's not hard to do.
Speaker 1: Have you ever noticed whenever you're actually meet in Australian
Speaker 1: out in the world, they're always on a year long
Speaker 1: around the world party tour, just flying east like, so
Speaker 1: they're like, oh, you know what, going a van, here
Speaker 1: we go, get ready, guys, here comes the most here's
Speaker 1: my newest defensive accent I gotta And that's how my
Speaker 1: best friend met her husband. He was in Australian. He
Speaker 1: was just on his worldlife trip. He was like friends
Speaker 1: of a friends of a friend, like a ski ski liftofficer,
Speaker 1: a tree cutter, fucking their way. They're like looking for
Speaker 1: MILFs to like stay in their guesthouse. And literally, no
Speaker 1: matter what your occupation is, there every Australian I've met
Speaker 1: is like that. They're like, oh, I'm a butcher and
Speaker 1: a model because they're all beautiful. They're all beautiful, but
Speaker 1: they are I think it has something to do because
Speaker 1: people from Kiweezer that way too, where like they're constantly traveling.
Speaker 1: I think I must have to do with you're so
Speaker 1: isolated and Australia's like it's an enormous island but still stuck.
Speaker 1: You're got to get out of here. It's all so
Speaker 1: they're gorgeous because they're all, Oh my god, he's about
Speaker 1: to pull a Dana Gould is about to say, like
Speaker 1: a Danna Gould joke. They're all gorgeous because they're all
Speaker 1: relatives of prison criminals, and there's nothing hotter than a criminal.
Speaker 1: Let's be honest. Had the sexy criminals? Is that what
Speaker 1: Australia was and they found it? That's hot? This is
Speaker 1: what bad boy. They're all relatives are bad boys Australians.
Speaker 1: I r l any any that I've met, and this
Speaker 1: is a sweeping generalization, male, female, straight, gay, any anywhere
Speaker 1: on the spectrum. The hugest flirts. Yeah, so friendly, so friendly.
Speaker 1: That's what I've noticed when you meet like a real
Speaker 1: life movie star, Yeah, they feel like you have a
Speaker 1: chance like that make you feel like they shine their
Speaker 1: movie star light on you and you're like, am I
Speaker 1: gonna fuck you? Like Dean Dean had that quality every
Speaker 1: time I've had an exchange with an Australia because the
Speaker 1: jym I go to is run by Australians and they're
Speaker 1: so good looking. At every time I get any one
Speaker 1: on one attention, I'm like, oh, this is gonna happen. Yea, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you make you feel like seen like he sees me
Speaker 1: Dylan Sea for the first am I gonna fucking Australian
Speaker 1: cashier target. It's also it's also interesting watching a show
Speaker 1: with like that many people talking with you know, for
Speaker 1: them native ac with an accent, because they really magnified
Speaker 1: for me, like, oh I always thought there showing an
Speaker 1: accent was so harsh. No, the American accent. That's all
Speaker 1: I kept thinking was Oh my god, my voice sounds
Speaker 1: so nasally and ugly. Yeah. So I was gonna say,
Speaker 1: if your name ends in an a, it basically ends
Speaker 1: in an art. Oh yeah, because like Ta, if your child,
Speaker 1: you're basically just assuming your ends with an art. It's true. Tira,
Speaker 1: she's a meny jealous season. I'm so happy to see
Speaker 1: happy Tara. Yeah, it's so happy. So we don't know
Speaker 1: anything about Tara Taras and see episode two and we'll
Speaker 1: get to her to second she loses her ship. She's
Speaker 1: got a All right, here, here's the basically of the land.
Speaker 1: Let's just talk basically. The land is we have all
Speaker 1: these guys come on. All the guys like the same.
Speaker 1: They're not that hot through all brunettes. One of whom
Speaker 1: looks like I think maybe, oh my god, for sure, Vineers.
Speaker 1: One of whom looks like he's transitioning. Doesn't he look
Speaker 1: like he's just justin Michael, just kidding, Michael. Oh, I
Speaker 1: figured that's the one you meant. Doesn't he look like
Speaker 1: he's transition He's got a very like feminine face that
Speaker 1: is soft. Think he has a weak chin. So he
Speaker 1: grew a beard, and my kids, his cheeks are soft,
Speaker 1: and I feel like it doesn't he doesn't have a
Speaker 1: thick beard. It looks kind of like agent tattoo. They
Speaker 1: all do, so does. Flow has one in between her titties.
Speaker 1: So here are the main characters that you need to know.
Speaker 1: The the bad boy, the hot bad boy. His name
Speaker 1: is Davy. He's two feet tall, also has jis in
Speaker 1: his air. He's got bright green eyes. Davy was like
Speaker 1: a little fun rascal that's like, oh, Davy, I don't
Speaker 1: want to want to have sex with you, but I
Speaker 1: ever resist you, dude, because you're a hot bad boy.
Speaker 1: I guarantee you Davy. Davy has also that sort of
Speaker 1: look that I think he's he's going to, honestly in
Speaker 1: his older age, look a little bit like Bette Midler.
Speaker 1: I think there's something he's like a nice round face. Yes,
Speaker 1: he doesn't have that gaunt flu face yet, he doesn't
Speaker 1: have the Tampa flun no no no, no no no no,
Speaker 1: but but he is like he's sort of from reminds
Speaker 1: me of Dean, but not necessarily an attitude. I don't
Speaker 1: know what it is, just there's a quality about him,
Speaker 1: and he grew. He grew on me as the episodes
Speaker 1: wore on, and at first I was like, this is
Speaker 1: the bad boy, Like, I don't get it. Um. I
Speaker 1: liked that Tara. One of the things Tara is adorable.
Speaker 1: I was surprised that she wasn't more of a hot
Speaker 1: commodity for the guys. If you're because she's heat stroke,
Speaker 1: the entire really said, did she? She was so funny
Speaker 1: about it. She started flirting with Michael, the person who
Speaker 1: looks like he's transitioning, and she and he has a dragon.
Speaker 1: He has a gigantic dragon tattoo up his tour. So
Speaker 1: and she says, um to him, I'm so sweaty. I'm
Speaker 1: like an overweight man. Am I too sweaty for you?
Speaker 1: Which I thought was the best intro? No American girl
Speaker 1: would say that that's true. It was pretty down to earth.
Speaker 1: It's also like gross putting on podcasts. It's like all
Speaker 1: the girls, they're all like they can hang with the dudes.
Speaker 1: I have to say, this seemed level, like no what
Speaker 1: it seems like the most level playing field I've ever
Speaker 1: seen on a Bachelor. But once again, sort of as
Speaker 1: it happens on our Bachelor in Headise, a lot of
Speaker 1: the guys didn't seem interested in talking to the ladies
Speaker 1: at all. Yeah, it was. It was mostly no one.
Speaker 1: I will say that no one ever really seemed to
Speaker 1: have a connection. It really seems all strategy, like I
Speaker 1: have to stay, I have to say. And that was
Speaker 1: more upfront than it is in Yeah, Like the girls
Speaker 1: would get together and be like, all right, let's have
Speaker 1: a meeting. Yeah, yeah, they got together. They would be like,
Speaker 1: who are you picking? It's like I'm feeling good that
Speaker 1: he will give me. I will give him a rose
Speaker 1: and it's like, I know, they just tell you their
Speaker 1: entire friend. Yeah, they were really open about it, They
Speaker 1: really were. They also they show a lot of like
Speaker 1: behind the scenes and like producer and like you'll see camera.
Speaker 1: They don't hide the game of it at all. When
Speaker 1: we meet Davy, he calls himself a full blown legend
Speaker 1: and a mama's boy, which is no, there are two
Speaker 1: things that you should call yourself. He's like just a
Speaker 1: grown frat boy. I think he lives in that's way.
Speaker 1: He talks to his parents. He talks to his parents
Speaker 1: like eighteen times a day. Is that Is that cute?
Speaker 1: You want a guy who doesn't hate his mom but
Speaker 1: doesn't talk to her that once a month. I wonder
Speaker 1: if the tightest turning on the mom's boy stereotype only
Speaker 1: because so many more people live with their parents now
Speaker 1: than ever before that. I wonder if that's just what
Speaker 1: everyone's like. You live with your parents and never speak
Speaker 1: to you. You can be living your parents and not
Speaker 1: be ama. You guys be like, I don't have any money.
Speaker 1: That's true. I guess you're not living with them because
Speaker 1: it's your choice and so much you need help. Yeah, things, things, exactly.
Speaker 1: You're working towards towards getting that credit score back up.
Speaker 1: So then we have Brett Brett. We find out from
Speaker 1: Terra Terry cause he's beating my friend. Um he he
Speaker 1: and Nina. He was known on his season he had
Speaker 1: he has a record breaking for the world look at
Speaker 1: televised kiss and then he was known as Eden. Came
Speaker 1: out not cute at all. He was a break dancer.
Speaker 1: He's the one that has a crazy hair and the
Speaker 1: beer and be honest with you. Yeah, he's the one
Speaker 1: I thought was the cute. I like that. I really
Speaker 1: had the crazy in that, like a lot of fun
Speaker 1: he has at you know what he reminds me of
Speaker 1: He has a little bit of his madness. He reminds
Speaker 1: me a little bit of Brodie Stevens. There is a
Speaker 1: quality Brodie Steven's madness to have. There is there's a
Speaker 1: real unpredictability live wire facts. There's a live wire factor
Speaker 1: which I like and I love that his name is Eden.
Speaker 1: I think that's so sex save. Yeah, Anna, what did
Speaker 1: you think of you? No? I knew right away he
Speaker 1: would get taken up because he's just that really fun
Speaker 1: guy who looks crazy but like his personality is enough
Speaker 1: for girls to be like, I don't care, and he's
Speaker 1: such a type for somebody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then
Speaker 1: came the hottest commodity on the show. She is in
Speaker 1: tits and shorts. She's in a milk made Dutch lady outfit.
Speaker 1: Her name is Florence or flow ride Up. She has
Speaker 1: a Dutch Australian accent, which just sounds Australian to me.
Speaker 1: I am so glad you pointed that out because she Yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel like she was wanting to lean heavily on
Speaker 1: the Dutch thing and we were like, you're Australian. What
Speaker 1: I loved about her was she looked like Jan from
Speaker 1: the office. What's that lady's actresses name? No Jan chan
Speaker 1: Um No, No, No, she's in transparent Hardest. She's like
Speaker 1: a hot milk Mala. She's milk made Hardest. She does
Speaker 1: look exactly like Malaura hard Yeah, she's first. Sure. Look
Speaker 1: at her terrible tit tattoo. That is a because I
Speaker 1: kept thinking she wearing a really ugly bra and it's like, no,
Speaker 1: she just is wearing a really ugly tit tate. She
Speaker 1: kept it fresh. I loved her. I loved her she's
Speaker 1: the most fun, sexy desired. First of all, here's the
Speaker 1: difference between like in in in Our Bachelor in Paradise,
Speaker 1: the twins and Ashley. I. They are full contour. They've
Speaker 1: shown up with their makeup, carnival trunks and the light.
Speaker 1: This one has like like a hair ponytail like mine.
Speaker 1: Her hair is kind of actually salty. They look like
Speaker 1: they actually swim in the ocean like they actually they
Speaker 1: look actually really salty. They're just wearing like strapless move
Speaker 1: moves sometimes, you know what I mean. They really it
Speaker 1: really is kind of nice. She had on like she
Speaker 1: hadn't like a stars and stripes one piece, bathing with
Speaker 1: her tits, with her real boobies just pouring out like
Speaker 1: they covered it was a one piece, but they basically
Speaker 1: just covered her nipples and her real boobies were just
Speaker 1: side It was all side tips, just pouring out the side.
Speaker 1: I loved it. That was okay. In Australia, done cares,
Speaker 1: Nobody cared. All the guys wanted her, and just because
Speaker 1: all the other women that were there were beautiful. But
Speaker 1: it was like I think flow is like DTF, and
Speaker 1: so they're like, I I gotta get out she's naughty.
Speaker 1: They like they were randy for Flower, and she's another one.
Speaker 1: I think, who who is Like she gives you just
Speaker 1: enough crazy to where it's hot. She's hot, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, Like you're like, what's she gonna do next? Yeah,
Speaker 1: she's like her she's hot hot. Laura harded, Yeah, like
Speaker 1: narrows her eyes and that's when you know something. She's
Speaker 1: kind of fun. So here's just for the lay of
Speaker 1: the in. Then there's another guy. So so Davey are
Speaker 1: a little short bad boy is like, who's the mom's boy?
Speaker 1: Full blown legend. He's like all about flow. I've got
Speaker 1: it's like a brat you'd find an escape park or
Speaker 1: something like that. He's just like he's like locked and
Speaker 1: loaded on flow. I like flowy, like flow. But the
Speaker 1: problem is his buddy, Jake has also been hump and flow.
Speaker 1: Off camera and Jake shows up and Jake supposed to
Speaker 1: be Jake is like he sounds like he's sort of
Speaker 1: like he's not as cute as he thinks. He's just tall.
Speaker 1: He's just he's just tall. He wears driving loafers. He's
Speaker 1: sort of to meet, Yeah, and he sort of has
Speaker 1: that sort of there's something in the job that's very
Speaker 1: like sort of Alison Janny about him. Yeah, he's strong features. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there were certain angles where he looked hot. At the
Speaker 1: end of the episode two with them, when they got
Speaker 1: the wrong camera angle, his cheek and his chin were
Speaker 1: like too much hot. He thought he was barely going
Speaker 1: to try. Yeah, he's like, you would be lucky if
Speaker 1: I tried to get at it. Yeah, he so, so
Speaker 1: he comes in. I guess he had a flow of
Speaker 1: been hooking up off camera before this happened, and then
Speaker 1: we don't know what happened, but he did something bad
Speaker 1: and she was mad at him. Right, he probably ghosted her,
Speaker 1: That's what I assume yea, and then was just still
Speaker 1: around town because they're both like from the Gold Coast.
Speaker 1: He's from the Gold Coast, would know oh yeah, right.
Speaker 1: He had a reputation up and down the Gold Well
Speaker 1: that she called him out on. She called him out
Speaker 1: on it. She goes, she said, flow, you just say
Speaker 1: that the stories about Jeeke ellis you have a reputation
Speaker 1: because it's a good or a bad reputation. Becau. That's
Speaker 1: how it works. If you have a reputation, it kind
Speaker 1: of means that people you don't know are talking about you.
Speaker 1: That's a reputation. Sometimes it's a good reputation and people
Speaker 1: you know say good things about you. Sometimes it's a
Speaker 1: bad reputation and people you don't know say bad things
Speaker 1: about you. And unfortunately you're in the last category. Seems
Speaker 1: like she could have cut to the let break it
Speaker 1: down to find the word reputation. Yeah, and it's so
Speaker 1: basically the big drama of the episode was Davy or
Speaker 1: a little short hot thunder. He gets the first date
Speaker 1: card and there's really not dates. They're basically you want
Speaker 1: to walk down this beach. There's no you're right, You're right.
Speaker 1: They don't do anything. And they barely do anything on
Speaker 1: the dates of Bachelor in Paradise, but they really don't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like here's a bowl of mud, put each other cover,
Speaker 1: not put it on our titties. One of the dates,
Speaker 1: they just walk somewhere and then sit down and like
Speaker 1: drink wine. You know, there's no like they just like
Speaker 1: put him in the forest. And one of them, I
Speaker 1: think was literally someone goes, do you want to go
Speaker 1: on a date right now? And they just went went
Speaker 1: on the ball. Dude, just like like why can't they
Speaker 1: all just go on a date. So he goes. So
Speaker 1: Davy is the date card and he wants to ask
Speaker 1: slow but then he doesn't. It's like Bros Before Hose.
Speaker 1: So he's like, I'm gonna do the right thing. And
Speaker 1: he asked this other girl who's beautiful. So they go
Speaker 1: on a date even though he's thinking about Flow and
Speaker 1: he's like he's like, tries, what was her name? Yeah,
Speaker 1: she had some like backstory being a villain or something. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I thought she was sweet, but I mean they're all
Speaker 1: like villains on this show. She was really pretty. He
Speaker 1: goes in for the kiss, she's not feeling it. The
Speaker 1: date's not that good. He comes back. He's regretful for
Speaker 1: not asking the one he wanted to ask. But why
Speaker 1: did they all kiss? No matter what they do, they
Speaker 1: do they're like, I'm really not feeling him in the
Speaker 1: in the like interview and then it shows them kissing
Speaker 1: and then back to and they're like that was not
Speaker 1: good because you didn't want them. I've we've been there.
Speaker 1: I've been there. I know watching that it made me
Speaker 1: feel like I haven't had one of those kisses in
Speaker 1: a long time. But it was when you're watching and
Speaker 1: you're like, oh boy, here we go, just get through it.
Speaker 1: This is happening. Oh god, here we go. There's nothing
Speaker 1: we're discuss saying. Then, like a kiss that you just
Speaker 1: don't want it is so gross, so disgusted when it's
Speaker 1: like and the other person, it's almost worse when you
Speaker 1: can tell that that is that it's not just like
Speaker 1: a drunken kiss, when you can tell that they actually
Speaker 1: really like you, but it's like a romantic yeah, they're yeah,
Speaker 1: they're like nervous about it, like they're actually want to
Speaker 1: they're courting you, like they're not. Just like, it's almost
Speaker 1: to me better if it's just like, oh you're there,
Speaker 1: I'll kiss you were drunk, rather than like I wanted
Speaker 1: to do this for so long totally oh god. And
Speaker 1: you're like, oh god, I have to handle this now, Tommy.
Speaker 1: And then and then they say weird, like that happened
Speaker 1: to me once. And then we were like kissing and
Speaker 1: the guy goes, you know what i'd like to do
Speaker 1: and just like not to sexually, just why don't you
Speaker 1: come back to my place. We'll have a drink and
Speaker 1: I'd love to give you a great missile And I
Speaker 1: was like hide away from a stranger. Great offer, do
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like, I'll do it right now.
Speaker 1: Who tried to make out with me with Caesar salad
Speaker 1: in your mouth? Chance? Think nothing too sexual? It would
Speaker 1: have been hotter if you didn't add the nothing new stuff.
Speaker 1: Of course, Oh my god, it's clinical. I like, I remember,
Speaker 1: I remember I had like such a crush on my brother,
Speaker 1: like my older brother's friend. I had like such a
Speaker 1: crush on him, and until I kissed him, and then
Speaker 1: like he was like lurking around and then he wrote
Speaker 1: a play about like what a witch I want? And
Speaker 1: all you did was not kiss him again. I kissed
Speaker 1: him once, like I kissed him fully close. But it's like, dude,
Speaker 1: get get a fucking life. What is this like? What
Speaker 1: are we like? Is this a west Anderson movie? What
Speaker 1: do you wrote a play about it? What did you
Speaker 1: see it? I rented out the community Rushmore three Billy's Revenge. Um.
Speaker 1: So then so then they come back here one of
Speaker 1: my favorite quotes. So then Davy returned from his bad
Speaker 1: date with a girl that you don't want to go with,
Speaker 1: and Lea goes like I went to blow the kettle.
Speaker 1: They went on a date I put on my two
Speaker 1: minute noodles. They went and eat my noodles. They came back,
Speaker 1: they hooked up, and they've broken up. I went to
Speaker 1: go blow the kettle. I just blow the kettle two
Speaker 1: minute noodles. I like, it's just like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: it's just as it gets to it. Yeah, I blow
Speaker 1: the kettle. I put my two minute noodles on, I
Speaker 1: put the water, and I came back. I'm blown the kettle.
Speaker 1: The noodles are God. They broke it up. It was
Speaker 1: like an urgency to it. Yeah, they're like. At one
Speaker 1: point someone said was like, you want to go rock
Speaker 1: at date? And I was like, wow, hardcore. Well I
Speaker 1: later on when so many came up and she looks
Speaker 1: at his deck and he goes, did you just look?
Speaker 1: I couldn't. I couldn't even understand. I don't even understand
Speaker 1: half of the need subtimes. I was gonna say, I
Speaker 1: kind of wish we could put subtitles on because someone
Speaker 1: I'm just like, you guys have to watch the show.
Speaker 1: You have to watch the show. Okay. So then we
Speaker 1: get a villain who show is up. Her name is Kira,
Speaker 1: and we have sexy lady music and she's sort of
Speaker 1: trashy and she's like a vamp. She looks like a combo.
Speaker 1: It's like an eighties movie. He's like an eighties movie.
Speaker 1: She is. She's like the villain in like teen Wolf
Speaker 1: or something like like like what was that science when
Speaker 1: where like the brother chet and the weird science, weird science,
Speaker 1: just like but she's like a little Doughey. She would
Speaker 1: have been so mean to Molly Ringwall, so mean and
Speaker 1: like her eyebrowser on too dark and her hair's too bleached,
Speaker 1: and you can keep saying when she goes to see
Speaker 1: aush Er, she's got new tits and she's like so
Speaker 1: excited about it, and she kind of keeps putting out
Speaker 1: all like like waiting for him to comment, and he's
Speaker 1: he's his mids are working that day. He's too smoot.
Speaker 1: He's too smooth to comment. Um. So then so then
Speaker 1: that's the first episode, and we get to the second
Speaker 1: episode and Jake and flow Um Davy keeps trying to apologize.
Speaker 1: He keep trying to apologize to me Laura Harden and
Speaker 1: um and Jake comes up. And by the way, that's
Speaker 1: another example of how not bad this bad boy is
Speaker 1: is that he was like, I really like her, but
Speaker 1: you too. Okay, go for it, and he's a bad boy.
Speaker 1: Yes're like respectful of each other. And then he was
Speaker 1: actually really nervous and sweet. He really liked Flow. He
Speaker 1: kept trying to like court her and like let her
Speaker 1: know that I'm really sorry I should have picked you.
Speaker 1: Like they had such a good chemistry. Yeah, how old
Speaker 1: is he is? He young? He seemed young. I thinks.
Speaker 1: I also like that. I wrote down a lot of them.
Speaker 1: U oh. This was another expression. They said that Jake
Speaker 1: came around, came over, and he goes when when uh, Davy,
Speaker 1: when Davy was upset that Jake was moving in on Florence,
Speaker 1: he goes and then Jake comes over and cuts my grass.
Speaker 1: It feels like it's like a nineteen It's like a
Speaker 1: nice it is, don't it is? It is so weird
Speaker 1: to watch because it's the same show that we know
Speaker 1: with people we've never seen before. In accents, it's in
Speaker 1: English that we can't understand. It's fascinating. I think Bachelor
Speaker 1: in Paradise has such an advantage of being a show
Speaker 1: you can really jump in on and you don't really
Speaker 1: it's so fun because it's so much fun. It's so fun. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love it. Yeah, I feel like and also I
Speaker 1: love that moment. Kira was just like laughing in Davy's
Speaker 1: face where he's just like, yeah, I did this and
Speaker 1: then I took her on dates. So now she's upset
Speaker 1: and she's like, I'm so sorry. But a lot of
Speaker 1: the guys say they all came from and I don't
Speaker 1: know why. I thought this was so funny. They came
Speaker 1: from Sam Frost's season. Yeah, like day Sam Frost. Yes,
Speaker 1: I wish we could see who the bachelor bachelor all.
Speaker 1: One of the exciting things was they had a black bachelor.
Speaker 1: That was exciting. I was like, yes, Australia. He was
Speaker 1: really good looking. He was when they went their date
Speaker 1: was to to the dirty the dirty street, like I
Speaker 1: went to a food truck that was one of the
Speaker 1: day and she was like she kept calling a dirty
Speaker 1: street pie. I'm like, well, like I am beautiful, No,
Speaker 1: I have that. I have that, like hopeboy. If you
Speaker 1: think I don't have all of that, I have all
Speaker 1: of that. Okay. So so, so Davy's trying to make
Speaker 1: it up to Flow and up comes Jake, the bad
Speaker 1: boy with the reputation and he doesn't even look at Davy,
Speaker 1: and he asks her on a date. He's got the
Speaker 1: date card, and Davy, more than being upset that flow
Speaker 1: is gone, is angry that Jake didn't even his feeling.
Speaker 1: He said, delicate flower that David, Yeah, he was really
Speaker 1: like bummed out, like really hurt. He didn't you look
Speaker 1: at me? His parents cann't fix it, yeah, Davis eight,
Speaker 1: he knew his father to step in and fix the prompts, right.
Speaker 1: So then so then go on a jungle date and um,
Speaker 1: they have a waterfall. Oh when they described the waterfall
Speaker 1: is cute, which I that was so strange because it's
Speaker 1: a towering waterfalls cute and they were like, look, how cute,
Speaker 1: and it's like, what would take you out in a minute?
Speaker 1: So cute? Do you? I'm curious. I was kind of
Speaker 1: thinking this, who do you think someone was leading them?
Speaker 1: Like where did they know where to go? Somebody had there?
Speaker 1: Had you been right, she'd just be like this way
Speaker 1: and I'd be like, I don't get lost lost snake
Speaker 1: like that. So she goes, what if I said no?
Speaker 1: And I never thought she said no? And then and
Speaker 1: then she just she liked that. She liked that he
Speaker 1: also said to her, uh no, she said to him,
Speaker 1: I don't know what to talk about. To be honest,
Speaker 1: she said that she I don't know what to talk about. Basically,
Speaker 1: she was like, it's our first time sober together and
Speaker 1: she did not know what to talk about. And then
Speaker 1: he was like, you want some champagne and she was like, yes,
Speaker 1: I do, which was amazing. So then back at the base,
Speaker 1: they're busy, they're talking, They're like, oh and basically this
Speaker 1: the beginning the first row ceremony. The girls hold all
Speaker 1: the cards, so they're like, another guy better not come
Speaker 1: because it's six ladies and eight guys, and a bird
Speaker 1: starts crowing, and you know that means another dude with
Speaker 1: the craziest man bun. You have the nest of hair,
Speaker 1: a blonde ginger nest and nest these guys guys. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was like Patti Smith hair or something like. It
Speaker 1: was just like really just wild. It was wild that
Speaker 1: like I don't it was like Donald Trump grew uptail,
Speaker 1: like grew a ponytail and was kind of a short
Speaker 1: cute and then but I loved and I was so
Speaker 1: delighted when he arrived. It was two dudes running at
Speaker 1: each other. One of them screams, oh, this is romantic,
Speaker 1: and he jumped up in Eden's arms and he wrapped
Speaker 1: his legs around eating and they were all picking him up,
Speaker 1: and he was staying on his season, on Sam's season,
Speaker 1: and that he won the first rose, which they call
Speaker 1: the double Delight, the double delight. That's so interesting. Double
Speaker 1: delight rose sounds like an appetizer, like a Japanese a
Speaker 1: double delight rose. That took me in. I was just like, wait,
Speaker 1: what double It was like, what different countries? I was like.
Speaker 1: I was very like, what does that mean? The double delight,
Speaker 1: like twice as nice or something. Yeah, double delight rose.
Speaker 1: So then people, the girls are not that excited. The
Speaker 1: people call him Uncle Sam, and somebody says, no, I
Speaker 1: have no romantic interest in my uncle Sam. I'm glad
Speaker 1: he's just my uncle. And that creat cream man because
Speaker 1: he's short. I think it's short, and he is a
Speaker 1: nest of Trump pair. It's a man bond of Trump. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And he's also one of those guys. I think he
Speaker 1: looks a little older than he is. Yeah, because I
Speaker 1: think they all have sun damage. I think they just
Speaker 1: also the sun is really bad for you in Australia
Speaker 1: twice as harsh as a red hat who lives in
Speaker 1: the in the desert where some black every day guys. Also,
Speaker 1: I looked it up double Delights a type of rose.
Speaker 1: It's like that like yellow, but I won it. Um.
Speaker 1: So then Jake and Flow they're back under their cute
Speaker 1: water flow fall and they're they're kissing. They're like, which
Speaker 1: is I'm trying to lead my head because my heart
Speaker 1: gets me in trouble. Um, But when like magnets, when
Speaker 1: we're together, it's like, you don't seem like you have
Speaker 1: any chemistry unless you're drunk. And then they just start
Speaker 1: kissing in the waterfall, and then she keeps talking about
Speaker 1: what he did to her, which was I think ghosting. Um,
Speaker 1: we find out the Eden's in love. One of the
Speaker 1: other guys says it with who Lisa? I think, okay,
Speaker 1: she's she's sort of like the Lisa, sort of like
Speaker 1: the like the every woman in a little bit, like
Speaker 1: she seems cool and she's like totally normal. She's the
Speaker 1: pretty brunette. So then the so then Uncle Sam shows
Speaker 1: up and he puts the only lady that's available side,
Speaker 1: who's the who's the bad girl from the eighties movie.
Speaker 1: And so they go have a drink at the bar
Speaker 1: and then he said, did you just look at my
Speaker 1: I don't know what he'd basically look at my dick
Speaker 1: because and she was like yeah, She's like, I don't
Speaker 1: want just the drinks, the drinks, like she didn't want
Speaker 1: just getting the dregs of the pack. I don't even know. Oh,
Speaker 1: that's right. She kept saying the drags, the dragon d d.
Speaker 1: She also said that they looked alike and that that
Speaker 1: was in session stral. Yeah, so she said it was
Speaker 1: a business decision for her to pick him. It's they're
Speaker 1: so low key here and Sam, They're like, well, it's
Speaker 1: a business decision. They barely mentioned love on the show,
Speaker 1: even even Oshan at his highest hime, even even like
Speaker 1: no no I mentioned it's like it just falls away there,
Speaker 1: like a chance to stay on the island. Yeah, a
Speaker 1: lot of people like I just want to come have
Speaker 1: a fun flirt. I'm hoping for a flirt, like like
Speaker 1: here's like if you're not engaged, and I think they're
Speaker 1: there for four weeks. I think here they're there for
Speaker 1: two weeks. You're kidding. I think it's only two weeks.
Speaker 1: In Mexico. They brought in a lot of people in
Speaker 1: the second episode, and like people get like Jade and
Speaker 1: Tanner got married, and then Carly and that's even who
Speaker 1: is kind of rude to me on stage and he
Speaker 1: was sassy. He's like he felt like, here's my moment,
Speaker 1: just trying to be funny. Yeah, because I they did
Speaker 1: listen to an episode and I'd probably made jokes like
Speaker 1: he came off as a fool in that season with
Speaker 1: yeah he did, he did, he did. It always happens
Speaker 1: when you're like, what a fool and then you meet them,
Speaker 1: you're like, okay, well they're kind of nicely whatever, um okay.
Speaker 1: So then so then there's a whole drama that this
Speaker 1: douche Brett has a girlfriend not on the show, but
Speaker 1: it seems like she's gonna be but she's like going
Speaker 1: to be like the world and like poor Tera, who's
Speaker 1: such a freaking like codependent, is trying to get a
Speaker 1: girl to like give him a rose. So she so
Speaker 1: Brett gets his chance at love. It's like, well, don't
Speaker 1: you realize that that means she's keeping a guy around
Speaker 1: who's gonna then ditch her, Like why why don't you
Speaker 1: give him the rose of like so um it was
Speaker 1: it was there was a whole drama and a producer
Speaker 1: went and attacked him and was like, do you have
Speaker 1: a girlfriend? He was like no. Basically we'd heard him
Speaker 1: just be like, yes, I have a girlfriend and his
Speaker 1: stupid hat and glasses. Yeah, And then he goes, well
Speaker 1: I kind of do and I kind of don't, and
Speaker 1: and the producer goes, I guess the biggest query we're
Speaker 1: working out is, um, why are you telling us that
Speaker 1: you're not in a relationship. Then he goes, well, I
Speaker 1: think it's very easy to say, like are you seeing
Speaker 1: Someone's fine? But they're like, well, it's really important for
Speaker 1: Paradise that everyone's not a relationship because it's the whole show.
Speaker 1: Are you single? Are you in a relationship with stuff?
Speaker 1: And because I've been seeing stuff for the past year?
Speaker 1: But are we Facebook official? No? What a day saying
Speaker 1: you've been seeing someone for a year? A year and
Speaker 1: you won't cop to the fact that you're together year.
Speaker 1: He was such also that he said Facebook official, that
Speaker 1: seems like they definitely came up with a plan to
Speaker 1: want to go to Paradise together such and then they
Speaker 1: horror got thrown under the bus so hard. You're right,
Speaker 1: I was mistaken. Like I was like, this is yeah,
Speaker 1: she fully got manipulated. I was like, get thee to
Speaker 1: Alan on Hunt. He's like, you were wrong, horror right,
Speaker 1: And she's like yeah, she's like rubbing her body just
Speaker 1: like catching as much wind as she can't, just sweating
Speaker 1: up a store so hot, it's so hot, it's so hot. Um.
Speaker 1: And then so one of the things I liked and
Speaker 1: Sam and Kira went on a date. She's like, we
Speaker 1: could go over there and let go over the thing.
Speaker 1: It's fucking romantic. And then they just kept making jokes
Speaker 1: like is this fucking romantic? And He's like this just
Speaker 1: feels right. I like that they're just make fun of it.
Speaker 1: They just are like kind of low key and like
Speaker 1: to party. Have you talked about Lorena yet? Okay? So
Speaker 1: here she goes. So there's a new addition. Do they
Speaker 1: call Lorena Lorena? She she ate the dirty street high Um,
Speaker 1: so she goes. I put a lot of effort. This
Speaker 1: is maybe the most high, high maintenance woman on planet.
Speaker 1: She's she's the Ashley I of Australia. Maybe oh yeah,
Speaker 1: and Claire yes, and Claire maybe more Claire. Actually, I
Speaker 1: put a lot of effort and said, she looks like um,
Speaker 1: Megan Foxes. I put a lot of effort into setting
Speaker 1: my days up with intentions and affirmations. I am light,
Speaker 1: I am love, I am laughter. But then I looked
Speaker 1: at her entire book. I am love, I'm we saw
Speaker 1: her journal, I'm creativity, I am whole, I am powerful, gratitude.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah. So then this is
Speaker 1: are you guys ready to hear what she wants? This
Speaker 1: is what she wants to go? There we go. I
Speaker 1: wrote it all down. I'm looking for someone who's intelligent
Speaker 1: and witty, loving and affectionate and funny. Somebody who is
Speaker 1: spontaneous and inventorous, contented and respectful, playful and adoring. Somebody
Speaker 1: who knows how to be peaceful. Somebody who is spiritual,
Speaker 1: a man of God. Somebody of pretty high energies, really healthy,
Speaker 1: accepting and understanding to be I mean, how needy are you?
Speaker 1: You're definitely going to find a man of God at
Speaker 1: bachelor And I'm mad of God, how out of your
Speaker 1: And then she goes in. She was like, oh, and
Speaker 1: I can't wait to flirt. The guys can't wait? She
Speaker 1: walks in. She's so ready to give her gift of herself.
Speaker 1: One really not cute guy walks up to her and
Speaker 1: she's like, all right, you want my card. I feel
Speaker 1: like that's how everyone operated. They were just like, oh
Speaker 1: you came up to me, Okay, we're in this, you
Speaker 1: know like that, no one, no one. And it didn't
Speaker 1: it felt like if she'd wanted it did not feel
Speaker 1: produced or manipulated. It. No, it felt like she's so
Speaker 1: crazy that she needs to feel needed and he's the
Speaker 1: one that needed her. So he gets the card. Blake
Speaker 1: Blake Strong Brows, who had to redeem himself because he
Speaker 1: did something bad on the season. Yeah. I guess he
Speaker 1: was like a really bad guy on the season or something.
Speaker 1: And then he just wore like I don't know he
Speaker 1: was wearing his I just remember his tea shirt was
Speaker 1: the exact same color as the skin was, like, none
Speaker 1: of these guys were. It was like ron. But she
Speaker 1: also said which I loved um. He was like, oh,
Speaker 1: do you think we're gonna fall in love here? And
Speaker 1: she goes, I've fallen in love in four days before.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, what alone a lot about you for
Speaker 1: technically you could have fallen in Loved twice in one
Speaker 1: week that I followed in love before in four days twice.
Speaker 1: She was so weirdly maniacal in that way. She's like,
Speaker 1: we had a kiss, it was a four. Like she's
Speaker 1: like an Excel spreadsheet. All times she had a crazy laugh.
Speaker 1: D She would say something like the way the women
Speaker 1: at least looks based outperformed the men a handily. They're stunning.
Speaker 1: They're stunning, and they're all kind of like hot. It
Speaker 1: is all get out but like believable, like you kind
Speaker 1: of buy that they could exist without plastic surgery, Like
Speaker 1: they all like believably hot. This guy I didn't even
Speaker 1: realize was on the show, is that mac Yeah, she
Speaker 1: looked like he looks like a bad Dylan McDermott's like
Speaker 1: third cousin. You know, I think he's give sexy ears
Speaker 1: are bad. I think it's that. I think it's that
Speaker 1: there's there has to be a little self consciousness there
Speaker 1: his ears. It's his ears. I don't like Martin Freeman
Speaker 1: just showed up out of nowhere, and he did because
Speaker 1: he was hooked up with like a hot immediately he
Speaker 1: got hooked up with that gal. That was the reject
Speaker 1: of date. I mean, so he stay go on this date.
Speaker 1: The first guy sun damage. It's totally sun damage. I'll
Speaker 1: tell you sunblok hats. I love cigarettes, but they're bad
Speaker 1: for your skin and maybe your lungs. Listen, guys, I
Speaker 1: know smoking makes you look cold. Do it? Don't beat don't, don't, don't,
Speaker 1: don't aige your face unnecessarily. Um. I mean you look cool,
Speaker 1: but definitely look cool. But you know what do it?
Speaker 1: I mean they go on this date that they basically
Speaker 1: the date is they walk down to the beach and
Speaker 1: there's a bowl of mud and they're like, here, this
Speaker 1: has healing properties. Cover yourselves in mud and then go
Speaker 1: in the ocean. And so they did. He went right
Speaker 1: for her tits, like with his hands with the mud.
Speaker 1: That's right, and also like her honestly looked like he
Speaker 1: was going to go like right for her, like vagina rubbing.
Speaker 1: He was really not aware that time's up in me too.
Speaker 1: His happened. Felt that felt strange to watch. She says,
Speaker 1: I do my best working holidays and flirting with the boys.
Speaker 1: I'm scared of breaking a few hearts. I with the
Speaker 1: world's worst accent, who is eligible by looks and shot
Speaker 1: and he will make take the initiative and then I
Speaker 1: will give it to them. Jaws dropped when she walked
Speaker 1: in to be I would like to be given the
Speaker 1: power walking in on a lightning bolt. And then they
Speaker 1: had the sound of thunder and she had a oh
Speaker 1: my god, lorrainer lorain lorainer um, and then she says
Speaker 1: he goes on their date. She gave me a look
Speaker 1: and I felt I felt something like I'm ready to explode.
Speaker 1: I don't ever want to hear that again. I don't
Speaker 1: you know what. I also realized that maybe because we
Speaker 1: don't know the characters, but whenever they're whenever they go
Speaker 1: I hope God, I hope this says that I hope
Speaker 1: no one else comes. And then the call of the
Speaker 1: crow that you mentioned, they're like, oh, I hope this
Speaker 1: person doesn't come up and mess up the flow. And
Speaker 1: then they're like and then the teasers always like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, look who it is, and they bring out
Speaker 1: the person, and to my eyes, who doesn't know the people,
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is the exact same person who every
Speaker 1: single time like, this is a copy of the exact
Speaker 1: same person. Yeah, here's what I wonder if that's what
Speaker 1: people think of the American I'm sure it is. If
Speaker 1: you're here's just hot, Yeah you're They're also hot. They
Speaker 1: all have lash extensions. Here's what's fun coming up, And
Speaker 1: we haven't there. I don't think they're in the next
Speaker 1: episode yet. I think we have Grant the Fireman. I
Speaker 1: think we have Jared, and also I believe we have
Speaker 1: Daniel the Canadian. Are all going to be on this show.
Speaker 1: It makes me sad for Jared just in that it
Speaker 1: felt like he he he worked like in a restaurant,
Speaker 1: Like I feel like there was a moment in time
Speaker 1: maybe he was like I just like he felt like
Speaker 1: he was bummed, remember how sad because he really really
Speaker 1: liked Caitlin and then he felt sad that first season
Speaker 1: that he got kidnapped in Paradise by Ashley I and
Speaker 1: then like and then he went back and got his
Speaker 1: heartbroken by Kayla. It feels like now it's almost like
Speaker 1: a man who's just given up on life and now
Speaker 1: he got shipped off to Australia, like there's there's there
Speaker 1: is not going to end. Well no, yeah, he doesn't
Speaker 1: seem to have a lot going on. I guess looking
Speaker 1: at it and he I don't know. He's someone I
Speaker 1: feel sad for because I don't even know if it's
Speaker 1: his choice necessarily to do Bachelor in Paradise, Like it
Speaker 1: seems like they're like He's like, I don't know if
Speaker 1: I want to do it there, come on, He's like, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah yeah yeah Lorener Lorrainer, Um, okay, let's see, Kira
Speaker 1: is an absolute legend. We aready saw that. Okay, wait,
Speaker 1: I do love that they used that word so much.
Speaker 1: Here is an absolute that's the way to be, like,
Speaker 1: you're super cool. Yeah, I don't know. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'm not a bad person. Um oh okay. So then Tara,
Speaker 1: when Tara found out that when Tara like she she
Speaker 1: she got upset. This is I think they edited it early,
Speaker 1: Like I couldn't figure out it was about the couple thing. Oh,
Speaker 1: it was about her trying to force the girls to
Speaker 1: give her friend. She's actually trying to force I think
Speaker 1: she was a little bit. I feel like to freak
Speaker 1: out that much. I mean, because if you're crying and
Speaker 1: like defending yourself is because you know they're a little right.
Speaker 1: She was like, I'm not a bad person. I am not.
Speaker 1: I am not a pushy person. I don't play games.
Speaker 1: And then of a sudden she went crazy and she
Speaker 1: was hiding behind her like Geisha fans, and she was like,
Speaker 1: I don't like this. I don't want to be or
Speaker 1: can I go home? No? No, I don't want to
Speaker 1: be here. No. And I think all that happened was
Speaker 1: they were like, no, we're not going to give the
Speaker 1: roads to the person you tell us to give it,
Speaker 1: you r whatever, and she just lost it. It was
Speaker 1: she lost her ship and felt like she was doing
Speaker 1: it in a way that you could be like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Tar. I was like, well, maybe your Tar
Speaker 1: is actually being kind of a nightmare right now. Like
Speaker 1: who doesn't have what it takes to deal with the
Speaker 1: pressure of Bachelor in Paradise. Honestly, it's like if you
Speaker 1: don't have what, I don't want to walk around in
Speaker 1: a bathing suit on. No, that's a different thing now.
Speaker 1: But like the like the social pressure, I would hope
Speaker 1: I could make it through exactly. Yeah, the body pressure,
Speaker 1: no way. I couldn't make it through the mansion, but
Speaker 1: I could make it same. I couldn't make it through
Speaker 1: the mansion, but at least I'm on the beach. But
Speaker 1: but I will say this, it would feel bad to
Speaker 1: be in paradise and not and not be not feel
Speaker 1: picked if everybody else has been coupled off and you're
Speaker 1: like the unwanted one, that would feel bad, but you're
Speaker 1: still in paradise. Yeah, I don't. Also interesting, like a
Speaker 1: producer went to console her. She did well, yeah, that
Speaker 1: was like when she walked, I was like, I can't
Speaker 1: do this. And then like a producer went like rubbed
Speaker 1: her back, and I was like, that's a producer. That's
Speaker 1: what they care about them Here they're like, yeah they do.
Speaker 1: Like in America, they're just like crying already talked about it.
Speaker 1: But who went up to Breton was like, hey, why
Speaker 1: are you here? Man? Instead of letting the drama just
Speaker 1: play on itself. Yeah, you're right. It's you're like on
Speaker 1: camera was saying that, well here are you here and
Speaker 1: just moments before been like, yeah, I'm in a relationship
Speaker 1: with stuff. It's like, are you in a relationship? When
Speaker 1: you say relationship, what do you mean? It's like if
Speaker 1: you look to gas lighting in the dictionary, just be
Speaker 1: that scene from Bachelor in Paradise Australia and the producer
Speaker 1: was just like, look, I don't mean to be a dick,
Speaker 1: but like these guys really want to find love, and
Speaker 1: like you're just like you're bringing drama, which we don't want. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he was just like, leave me alone. You didn't care.
Speaker 1: So then the big road ceremony, all the couple's pair off,
Speaker 1: and the final thing was is like, who's flow gonna pick?
Speaker 1: Is she going to pick Davey who is the bad boy,
Speaker 1: or she could pick Jake who was on the Driving
Speaker 1: Loafers dick or is she going to pick this dumb
Speaker 1: dumb who has the girlfriend at home? And I was shocked.
Speaker 1: I was too she picked Driving Loafers. I was sad.
Speaker 1: I wanted Jake. I wanted to watch that play. I
Speaker 1: wanted Davy. I wanted the Davy uh Laura romance. Why
Speaker 1: did she never? Why did she pick him? I can't
Speaker 1: even imagine. She said that she had nothing to talk
Speaker 1: about with him, that he was mean to her, and
Speaker 1: how attracted she was to Davy, and then Davy is
Speaker 1: just like left out in the cold. But she keeps
Speaker 1: saying what bad taste she hasn't I mean, she's very
Speaker 1: open that she's flawed about men. I think it's like
Speaker 1: her Achilles heel. I mean, and really both options are
Speaker 1: not great, That's what she kept saying. And she was like,
Speaker 1: I have the bad O. Well does think she would
Speaker 1: think they won't stop bothering me? And then David's walks
Speaker 1: right up, like, can I borrow you for a second's?
Speaker 1: Davy Alice was fun. I'm I'm hoping I'm hoping for
Speaker 1: futures episodes that she goes I messed up? Can I trade?
Speaker 1: Will you go get me? David? It seems weird that
Speaker 1: Davy is only going to be here just too fun.
Speaker 1: I only have one. I was surprised. I felt like,
Speaker 1: as far as a producer, when he's a fun cast member,
Speaker 1: you want him around. And everyone seemed genuinely bummed that
Speaker 1: he was leaving. Yes, yeah, yeah, I don't know. I
Speaker 1: was actually very I that really caught me, Like, say, Davy,
Speaker 1: you know you're gonna pick up And then she's like
Speaker 1: Jake and I was like, well, okay, were you disappointed?
Speaker 1: I was like, what were you disappointed? I at least
Speaker 1: expect her to be like, well, this is the reason
Speaker 1: I picked him, and she just was like, do you
Speaker 1: know they're really really she's one of those people who,
Speaker 1: like you just never ever know what moves she's going
Speaker 1: to make. I don't know if a producer. Maybe that's
Speaker 1: things like I don't know what Australia Bachelor is, like
Speaker 1: the horrible Like in America, you know, they would have
Speaker 1: edged like don't pick him like this one because he's
Speaker 1: more drama. But there it's like maybe everyone's genuine and
Speaker 1: really cool. Do you guys overall? I mean, if you were,
Speaker 1: I would say, if you're out there and you're I
Speaker 1: think it's really fun. I think it's worth turning. It's
Speaker 1: on this thing called ten play right. Yeah, it's like
Speaker 1: a little heart in a ten che and then and
Speaker 1: then it is just a figure. I had to watch
Speaker 1: it on Google Chrome. I'm not exactly sure how we
Speaker 1: are watching this. I watch it on this drive. It
Speaker 1: just pops up. Yeah, but that was sent to us
Speaker 1: somebody who figured that illegally for us. But I think
Speaker 1: there's ways. I think there's ways. If you have a
Speaker 1: friend who's good at stealing things from Australia. So my
Speaker 1: best friend's boyfriend, boyfriend, her husband is Australian and I
Speaker 1: get a lot of info from him, Like I was
Speaker 1: like asking all these questions about all these people and
Speaker 1: just like, oh, I don't really watch these shows. And
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, you're Brad. Also a lot of
Speaker 1: the dudes remind me of him, and I just keeping
Speaker 1: like they just they keep acting like you. It's just cool, man,
Speaker 1: I'm just texting mall. They're like you, why would you
Speaker 1: say that? Zack? Do you have any Do you have
Speaker 1: any tips for somebody who's going to try to like
Speaker 1: watch these online ten play It's something about setting your
Speaker 1: your location services to make it look like, yeah, if
Speaker 1: you have like a what is it called a VP, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's something about a VP on we have to
Speaker 1: try to make it look like you're in Australia. I
Speaker 1: ask your sneakiest friend to help you do it. We
Speaker 1: had to ask our sneakiest friends at that well, and
Speaker 1: and he's the one that helped. All you can go
Speaker 1: to like weird like streaming sites like uh watch series
Speaker 1: is one of them, Project free TV. This is like
Speaker 1: when I used to stream stuff. I don't Okay, I'm
Speaker 1: too lazy these days, all right, but I was overall
Speaker 1: buy subscriptions for everything now because I'm solazy. It is
Speaker 1: worth watching though, wouldn't it's so fun? Um? Will you
Speaker 1: guys break down two more episodes of me next week?
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be with you. I've already watched episode three.
Speaker 1: Was it so good? How many do you want to do?
Speaker 1: Next thing? We'll do whatever you want? All right, well
Speaker 1: do we'll do episode three and four? Okay, perfect? I'll
Speaker 1: probably have finished it. I love it? How much do
Speaker 1: you love it? It's just the I to say, this
Speaker 1: is what bachelor paradise amuse is for. Is like after
Speaker 1: a long day, getting in my bed, having my lap
Speaker 1: it and just white strips in why going to live
Speaker 1: in my yard? And we were tacking about end by
Speaker 1: the way, becoming a compound. I know we would, we would,
Speaker 1: I would. I would take adderall for the first time.
Speaker 1: We both developed adderall addiction. We would build a podcast
Speaker 1: studio in my garage, Zach, and we would just be
Speaker 1: I would wake up. We would take adderall. We would
Speaker 1: do fifteen podcasts. I would never I would be evicted.
Speaker 1: I would have my house taken from me in like
Speaker 1: twenty days, not earn another dollar, and then um, the
Speaker 1: next thing, you know, we'd be a hashtag and they'd
Speaker 1: be like sex Calton. Oh my god, Brian, do you
Speaker 1: have anything you want to promote? Not really every Thursday
Speaker 1: and so check it out. You're such a drink can
Speaker 1: I'm gonna read a couple of like us on iTunes.
Speaker 1: By the way, by the way, don't forget. We have
Speaker 1: a new fucking website. Everybody after our after part of
Speaker 1: my Blue language got dirty, I got dirty, guys there
Speaker 1: with a new website after some some ding dong stole
Speaker 1: our domain. We are Rose podcast dot Vodka. There was
Speaker 1: a moment that website was so beautiful and then we
Speaker 1: had this scristion squares space and it's uneven, but it's
Speaker 1: still beautiful. Um. I'm gonna read a couple of reviews
Speaker 1: from iTunes. This is from five Stars but best past,
Speaker 1: best ever and Ms Daisy I listened to a whole
Speaker 1: bunch of podcasts and never subscribed until now. You guys
Speaker 1: make me laugh out loud at work. You guys don't bully,
Speaker 1: but speak so much truth. Love here's another one, five Stars,
Speaker 1: love Art and Klong when I love it, When Brian
Speaker 1: comes on, come on, Hey, we're all guests are good.
Speaker 1: Love it when Brian comes on. Um, all right, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna read an email. I'm gonna read an email. It
Speaker 1: was so nice to meet some of the people in Uh,
Speaker 1: it was so nice to meet you. It was so
Speaker 1: nice to meet you. Uh. We we had I'll we
Speaker 1: had nice things. I'm gonna give a shout out to
Speaker 1: some of our patron saints of our podcast, Caroline Dempsey,
Speaker 1: Brittany wi her As, Shan and McKinnon, Katie Tippley, McDonald's
Speaker 1: who he Meant is so cute? And she won the
Speaker 1: Kenny Rogers album. Uh Stevie Marine, Nichol, Lisa Harbum and Crane,
Speaker 1: Carolyne Rose, Janelle ran Hard, Christine Como, Karin Nelson, Kimberly,
Speaker 1: Sarah Martin are and Jamie, Jessica, Joel, Elizaeth, Laura, Megan,
Speaker 1: Aman and Kelly, Natalie, Megan, Megan, Sarah Ace, Katie, Rebecca,
Speaker 1: Tim Megan, George, Denimo and now and Angel I speak English. Uh,
Speaker 1: you guys so fun and sets it. I think actually
Speaker 1: sent some tweets of the week for bauchlor in Paradise.
Speaker 1: Do you have them? I did not. You know, we'll
Speaker 1: bring him next time. Tweet us some for episodes three
Speaker 1: and four. So we can and so I can. I
Speaker 1: don't have to keep getting it together. You can have
Speaker 1: my Twitter feet. I've logged it on my phone like
Speaker 1: a creep. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my
Speaker 1: Johnny Depp again. I think we are probably going to
Speaker 1: go to Nashville this summers. More to be revealed and
Speaker 1: and then we'll be back in season late May, breaking down. Becca, Okay, Kate, Yes,
Speaker 1: the dark hair? Did you got all excited? They got
Speaker 1: all excited. You forgot about Ari walking around the maze
Speaker 1: of that house? You forget it before? Did we discuss Leslie?
Speaker 1: Did we talk about when she got? When she got
Speaker 1: after you came on hush she got? Maybe we did privately,
Speaker 1: but I don't know that we did. We did? We
Speaker 1: did that? She got a tact somebody to become his Spanish. Yes,
Speaker 1: and the girl who we do is recording a podcast
Speaker 1: here very soon. No, here's the best thing I have.
Speaker 1: The best thing we talked about on my podcast. I
Speaker 1: had her on my podcast to talk about like Leslie
Speaker 1: con No, No, no, here's the best thing. Somebody emailed
Speaker 1: me this. I'm gonna read you this. This is from
Speaker 1: something Michelle Lebal emailed us at Rose podcast at gmail
Speaker 1: dot com. High Arten and company. You're gonna love this.
Speaker 1: I haven't seen you for I thought you'd love to
Speaker 1: know that. I read into Nick Vielle on Larchmont. I
Speaker 1: used to work for The Bachelor After show as a
Speaker 1: talent PA. So we chatted and he was coming from
Speaker 1: Leslie Kahn acting class, right right, I wrote, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: of course he was at as perfect as she replied right,
Speaker 1: and he was with a girl he met in class.
Speaker 1: I mean track, is he going to try to be hispanic?
Speaker 1: I don't know what they're going to put in like
Speaker 1: Nick Nicol, Yeah, oh my god. What if she was
Speaker 1: telling that to Nick it was Nick? Um, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I can't wait. I wish, honestly we could all just
Speaker 1: like get an adderall addiction and just watched the entire
Speaker 1: season today and bang it out tomorrow. But that might
Speaker 1: be Banana pass. I could probably knock it out. He's
Speaker 1: been watching basketball playoffs all week, and I'm just like, honestly,
Speaker 1: thought you were going to say basketball in Paradise and
Speaker 1: similar it's Lebron James and it's neat Off and wow,
Speaker 1: is that a different kind of show? That is a
Speaker 1: different kind of a show. Well, everybody, um, get ready
Speaker 1: for the Sexies theme song ever? Who we just Mark Rivers?
Speaker 1: That man, Brian Anna Zack. Please don't forget the party.
Speaker 1: Never gonna go rock on a date. I'm gonna go.
Speaker 1: She really mowed my grass? Yeah, don't cut don't cut
Speaker 1: my grass. Don't my grass. I'm gonna go, uh voter,
Speaker 1: what a cute waterfall? I cute. We're gonna We're gonna
Speaker 1: have an Australian accent competition. I'm gonna bring in a
Speaker 1: sentence and we all have to try to read it
Speaker 1: with an accent, and we get to have the listeners
Speaker 1: vote and who is the best accent and the worst
Speaker 1: that I guarantee mine will be worse. And I'm gonna
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you a run for your money. It's
Speaker 1: a hard accent. You're Earnerner Honor by