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Speaker 1: Now, before we begin this week's episode, I just want

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Speaker 1: to send some high vibrations and some love towards those

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Speaker 1: professional home girls out there who lost a mom. As

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Speaker 1: y'all know, my Nano was like a mother to me.

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Speaker 1: And it's not a day that don't go by that

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Speaker 1: I don't think about my girl. So I am here

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Speaker 1: with you all, and I just want you to know

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Speaker 1: that we are all in this together. So I want

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Speaker 1: to wish the mom's, the single parent moms, the bonus moms,

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Speaker 1: women who want to become a mom, and most importantly

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Speaker 1: the moms that are no longer here with us in

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Speaker 1: the flesh, a happy Mother's Day from the kid. Um.

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Speaker 1: Please make sure to support the PhD podcast by clicking

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Speaker 1: the Patreon link in the show notes. Shout out to

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Speaker 1: my girl Tatiana for becoming a supporter all the way

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Speaker 1: from cash Field, tender Key, my old stumping grounds. And

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Speaker 1: that said, y'all, this week's episode is so good. Um.

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Speaker 1: Shout out to the my guest. She's so focused, young

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Speaker 1: and just you know, just doing a damn thing. And

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Speaker 1: I hope you all enjoyed this week's episode. Alright, joab

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Speaker 1: bless us be into all of you and later welcome.

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Speaker 1: You are now listening to the Professional Professional. Hey guys,

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Speaker 1: welcome to this week's episode of the PSD podcast. This

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Speaker 1: is your girl an A and as always, I am

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Speaker 1: super excited about this week's episode. Um, before we begin,

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Speaker 1: you know the routine, let's do a little housekeeping. Please

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Speaker 1: make sure to follow me on Instagram at the Professional

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Speaker 1: home Girl, at the PSD Podcast, and last but at least,

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Speaker 1: at Eben a Beauty. Please make sure to follow me

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Speaker 1: on Twitter at th h E p h G Underscore.

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Speaker 1: Make sure you show the web site some love at

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Speaker 1: www dot the PhD podcast dot com and last with

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Speaker 1: at least. If you have any questions, comments, or concern

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Speaker 1: please make sure to email me at Hello at the

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Speaker 1: PhD podcast dot com. Now, please keep in mind that

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Speaker 1: all of my guests are anonymous. So let's begin this

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Speaker 1: week's episode. So to my guests, how are you feeling?

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Speaker 1: Oh wow? How are you? I'm good? You know in

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Speaker 1: the house. Are you doing ship? But can't complain? So

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Speaker 1: I know? All right? UM, So I just want to

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Speaker 1: say thank you so much for sharing your story on

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Speaker 1: the podcast, especially during this Mother's Day special because Mother's

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Speaker 1: Day is coming up. Oh, by the time they hear

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Speaker 1: this mother day, we've already been passed. So thank you

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Speaker 1: so much. I thought your story was very interesting, and

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Speaker 1: I also just want to share light and just give

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Speaker 1: some props to the moms out there. So let's start.

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Speaker 1: Let me be in it. Okay, So what was your

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Speaker 1: life like before you got pregnant? Oh? Okay, before I

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Speaker 1: got pregnant. Look, fucking mind, I was worteing, so before

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Speaker 1: I was pregnant. Look, I should start riding bikes doing.

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Speaker 1: But see me, I was like I active way before

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Speaker 1: my age. So before I was pregnant, while I was

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Speaker 1: in middle school, Um, I was running track. Was in

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Speaker 1: eighth grade. Yes, I was in eighth grade, so I

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Speaker 1: was running track. That was my best year in track.

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Speaker 1: I was getting ready to run um au that summer. Um.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, I was pretty much the popular girl. I

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Speaker 1: just like with boy crazy and honestly, I didn't really have,

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Speaker 1: you know, my dad to really teach me about boys

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Speaker 1: and everything, so I got so much attention and really

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Speaker 1: didn't know how to handle it. So I just was like,

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Speaker 1: you know, like I've seen love and I just just

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Speaker 1: drew to it, you know. So but yeah, I mean

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Speaker 1: I was that popular girl all that kind of stuff.

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Speaker 1: I just was at the way older than my age,

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Speaker 1: so way, so nobody had a conversation with you about sex.

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Speaker 1: My mom had the conversation um with me, but it

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Speaker 1: was like after I already lost my regime. Yeah, so

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Speaker 1: it's like but don't get me wrong, I knew about it.

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Speaker 1: I mean, and she would say things, I've always have

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Speaker 1: coolies and stuff like that, but as far as a

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Speaker 1: one on one like don't do this, you know, we

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Speaker 1: didn't have that that conversation. Do you think if you

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Speaker 1: would have had that conversation things with a part of

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Speaker 1: been a little different. Yes, I think I do. I

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Speaker 1: would have because I would have known what came with it.

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Speaker 1: I mean, don't get wrong, you don't. You can hear

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Speaker 1: about it um at schools, and you know, the kids

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Speaker 1: my age was still just exvanced as advances me. So

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Speaker 1: you know, we that it was like a big topic

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Speaker 1: growing up, believe it or not. In middle school, Like

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Speaker 1: so I knew of it, but I was just so

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Speaker 1: curious and not really having that, you know, not having

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Speaker 1: those talks with my parents at home. I just was like,

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Speaker 1: who let me y'all do it? I'm gonna find out

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna find half of myself. So how did you

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Speaker 1: find out that you were pregnant? Who? Okay, I found

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Speaker 1: out because um, actually my mom. She gave me the

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Speaker 1: first hint. Um. You know, she came in the room.

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Speaker 1: I could. I remember, like it was yesterday. I was

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Speaker 1: looking out the window and she's so happy to come

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Speaker 1: upstairs and was like, hey, no sure I asked, no

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Speaker 1: pass or anything, but not being pregnant. And it was

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Speaker 1: so random, like this is just randomly like she just

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Speaker 1: said that, and I'm like, oh wow. But like my

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Speaker 1: daughter's father she was, he was like saying stuff and

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Speaker 1: throwing a little hints, Oh I want a baby, I

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Speaker 1: want a son and stuff like that. You know. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: now I run track, you know. So when she said that,

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Speaker 1: it kind of opened the door because it was the

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Speaker 1: middle of the month and at the time my cycle

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Speaker 1: it came on either the first week of the month

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Speaker 1: or the last week of the month, so I didn't

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Speaker 1: really know. I'm like, okay, you know it can come.

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Speaker 1: I had a couple of weeks and you can come.

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Speaker 1: So yeah. The following day we end up. Oh. When

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Speaker 1: she said that, me and my child's father, we went

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Speaker 1: on the head and told her, you know what we

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Speaker 1: had said, so it could be a possibility. So the

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Speaker 1: following day she got a test, and then that's when

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Speaker 1: I found out I was pregnant. Yes, were you nervous?

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Speaker 1: It's like the whole world pros I just like I

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Speaker 1: couldn't believe it. You know, it was just like, oh

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Speaker 1: my gosh, you know, you hear this sex make babies,

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Speaker 1: but you know, find me out that I really made

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Speaker 1: a baby from that just was like mind blowing, Like

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Speaker 1: I just could not believe it. Like, did you have

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Speaker 1: any symptoms? Um, Honestly, I was only tired, but I

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Speaker 1: was running track at the time, so I thought I

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Speaker 1: was tired from school or from my track practice. So

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Speaker 1: other than that, no other symptoms, no throwing up. I

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Speaker 1: had an appetite already, so you know that one had

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Speaker 1: shown because much of a difference, So yeah, that's fair.

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Speaker 1: I was just sleeping. And I also know on your

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Speaker 1: YouTube video you were saying how um you was in

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Speaker 1: denial about it. Yes, I was in denial even after

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Speaker 1: getting the UM, even after seeing the seeing the test,

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Speaker 1: I still was in denial. And then you know, like

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Speaker 1: I said, my uh, my daughter's father still was like

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Speaker 1: saying stuff and throwing little hints, and I'm like, you know,

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Speaker 1: way before my MoMA even said that. So I'm just like,

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Speaker 1: where are you talking about your No, I'm like, is

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Speaker 1: he the same age as you? He's a year older. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he's a year older. Why he wasn't the baby so bad?

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Speaker 1: If it's and I don't know, I don't know. Still

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Speaker 1: to this day, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I think it's a deeper issue honestly, because his dad

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Speaker 1: wasn't there for him. So now that I'm older, I

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Speaker 1: feel like he just wants to be that figure, you know,

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Speaker 1: he wants to be what he didn't have. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: So was a conversation had between you and him about

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Speaker 1: keeping the baby or like, wasn't it was an abortion option?

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Speaker 1: Y Oh, yeah it was. It was an option not

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Speaker 1: from us, but from my parents. My dad was like

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Speaker 1: a board aboard aboard. My mom she kind of was

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Speaker 1: like one foot in, one foot out, because we really

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Speaker 1: don't believe in abortions in my family. But you know,

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Speaker 1: my dad, he pretty much knew. Like she fifteen, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: well I was forteen the time, but I'm going to

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Speaker 1: take care of this baby's gonna come out of my finances,

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Speaker 1: so no aboard aboard a board. So um, you know,

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Speaker 1: based after time, I guess my mom gave it time

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Speaker 1: and spoke to one of her close friends and then

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Speaker 1: she ended up like, you know, I'm gonna let let

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Speaker 1: you keep it, keep the baby. So what did his

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Speaker 1: starter say? Yeah, his mom was happy. She told the

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Speaker 1: whole Now she she when she first found out, of

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Speaker 1: course she was disappointed and everything, and then you know,

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Speaker 1: she cried, but then like a week later she was

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Speaker 1: so happy. So I don't know. I still don't know

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Speaker 1: what until today why she was so happy. Honest were

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Speaker 1: like she told the whole family. My mom was like

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Speaker 1: it told her whole family, this is nothing to celebrate,

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Speaker 1: like it was. It was crazy. So how did you

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Speaker 1: prepare going back to school because I know you was

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Speaker 1: pregnant while I think he was like a freshman. Yes, honestly, wow,

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Speaker 1: you know I talked about it in in the video

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Speaker 1: on YouTube, but I just okay, Well, my big sister

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Speaker 1: she had a baby her senior you're in high school,

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Speaker 1: and I witnessed her journey and I also seen her strength,

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Speaker 1: So I think being there for her and you know,

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Speaker 1: it's kind of like got me you ready and made

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Speaker 1: me prepare for it, even though it was years um,

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Speaker 1: prior to when I was pregnant. But I've seen her

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Speaker 1: journey and honestly, I just was. I don't know, honestly

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Speaker 1: to the day, I'm a high in the world that

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Speaker 1: I know, you know what to think? How did I

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Speaker 1: you know, how was I able to take all of

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Speaker 1: that without really allowing it to bother me? But I did.

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Speaker 1: I announced it and um, June and July. Like I

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Speaker 1: told you, I always been kind of popular. People always

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Speaker 1: been in my business. So I'm like, let me put

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Speaker 1: this out here because I don't want everybody in my face.

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Speaker 1: Wait where did you put it on? Facebook? Instagram? Instagram

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Speaker 1: and Facebook? Yeah, Instagram and Facebook. And I was like,

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Speaker 1: let me just put that out there so everyone wanta

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Speaker 1: be in my face? Um. But honestly, I just I

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Speaker 1: just was. I took everything in that summer people's reaction, um,

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Speaker 1: and honestly I heard it all from my family to

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Speaker 1: where it was like, all right, the hard part is

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Speaker 1: out the way. You know, the kids in school they're

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Speaker 1: gonna talk about they will talk about Jesus he walked

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Speaker 1: these hallways, So you know, I just was. I was

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Speaker 1: okay with that, especially being that I was popular too,

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Speaker 1: so I already had rumors about me and people talk

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Speaker 1: about me. So I don't know, I just was prepared

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Speaker 1: for So how was it being back in school? I

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Speaker 1: just walking the hall because where you showing? Yes? I

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Speaker 1: was five months um when you yes? I was five

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Speaker 1: months So, Um, the first day of school like it was,

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Speaker 1: it was not the first day of school was hard.

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie. Like the first week it was

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Speaker 1: really weird because you know it was like, yeah, I

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Speaker 1: was used to the attention, but that attention was like

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Speaker 1: different types of attention. Um, it was so weird speaking

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Speaker 1: to what were they doing? Um, like look at me loogging?

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Speaker 1: I had a girl slapped me with her braids one time,

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Speaker 1: Like she walked past me and kind of like flipped

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Speaker 1: her braids and slapped me in my face. I had

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Speaker 1: one girl and her friends stopped me and it or

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Speaker 1: the hallway and was like why great are you in?

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Speaker 1: And I was like ninth grade And then they made

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Speaker 1: this crazy the craziest space and then they kept walking

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Speaker 1: and then they start saying stuff about then I kind

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Speaker 1: of like tuned them out. Um, that kind of crazy stuff.

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Speaker 1: Then you know, my daughter's father, he was very popular

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Speaker 1: to so girls would like trying to hit on him

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Speaker 1: and say stuff to him. And now I'm not gonna lie.

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Speaker 1: That was like the hardest part. You know. It was

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Speaker 1: a girl who was territorial. Even back then, I'm like hum,

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Speaker 1: So you know, I had just learned to like, okay, well,

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Speaker 1: you know, you gotta get it together your mom. Now

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Speaker 1: you can't be doing all of that. Um. But after

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Speaker 1: a while, like you know, with them seeing our journey,

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Speaker 1: it got easier because he was a straight A student.

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Speaker 1: I was a straight student. We both were athletes, so

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Speaker 1: it was kind of like flipped. Like first they just

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Speaker 1: justs but then it was like a whoa, you know

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Speaker 1: they're still doing this, they're still doing that. So it

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Speaker 1: got better. And did you go to prim? Yes? I

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Speaker 1: went to Prom my senior year. I did go to Prome.

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Speaker 1: I didn't go to my junior year, but I went

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Speaker 1: my spenior year. So you wasn't pregnant. I wasn't three

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Speaker 1: three yeah three, Like she kissed me. I have a

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Speaker 1: picture of her. She was kissing me. I was to Prom.

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Speaker 1: Like yeah, but did you I remember you said in

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Speaker 1: the video that you went to prim while you was

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Speaker 1: my eighth grade prom. My yes, I did go, my

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Speaker 1: um yes to my middle school prom, which honestly, my

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Speaker 1: my dad was like he didn't want me to go,

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Speaker 1: like and it was so last minute I had. When

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Speaker 1: I found out it was a couple of weeks before prom,

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Speaker 1: I had to tell the boy I can't go with

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Speaker 1: him anymore because it wasn't um the boy I was

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Speaker 1: gonna go with. It wasn't my child father. You know,

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Speaker 1: my child's father was already in high school. So I

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Speaker 1: had to tell him I couldn't go with him. We

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Speaker 1: had to counsel all our plans like we had color

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Speaker 1: said we was about to go meet up and go

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Speaker 1: get the stuff like I had to. So all of

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Speaker 1: that and I ended up finding like that little purple

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Speaker 1: dress I had on somewhere like all last minute, but

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Speaker 1: I wasn't gonna go. I know, you were stressed fourteen

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Speaker 1: years alway and problem, oh my god, look and then

256
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Speaker 1: at the problem, I had a little pudge and my

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Speaker 1: chests were bigger. So you know, my best friend, of

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Speaker 1: course she knew I was, you know, I told her,

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Speaker 1: so of course she noticed, and like my mom and

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Speaker 1: them noticed, But it was already work going around. I

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Speaker 1: told you people was always my business stuff even at

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Speaker 1: the eighth grade. Problem, I kind of was already catching

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Speaker 1: that attention. So yeah, and then you was also saying

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Speaker 1: how if you would go outside to the grocery stores

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Speaker 1: and stuff like grown people or even yes, literally they

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Speaker 1: would look at me like I was an alien like

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Speaker 1: it was. It was bad, you know, because they were

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Speaker 1: trying to figure out like my age. And you can

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Speaker 1: only imagine, you know, a fourteen year girl. I think

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Speaker 1: I end up turning the fifteen around my when out

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Speaker 1: of five months pregnant, but you know I had a

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Speaker 1: baby face. I looked super young, so they like people

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Speaker 1: trying to figure out my age. You know, it's just

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Speaker 1: looked bad. Old people would look at me and like

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Speaker 1: like it was you were the south right south child

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Speaker 1: from the south. Really, yes, I caught it. Yeah, how

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Speaker 1: do thing? Like how was your mental back then? Because

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Speaker 1: I know you said you was you was being strong,

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Speaker 1: but like did it bother you? Yeah? I mean, am

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Speaker 1: I gonna at like nothing damn bother me? It bothered me? Yes,

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Speaker 1: But it's kind of like I would brush it off

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Speaker 1: like it will bother me for a little while, and

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Speaker 1: then I would have to talk to myself because all

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Speaker 1: throughout my childhood I spent a lot of like a

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Speaker 1: long time with myself, if that makes sense, like building myself,

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Speaker 1: building my men. So I had to talk talk to

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Speaker 1: myself out of things and stuff like that. So that's

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Speaker 1: what I would do. UM, just kind of like give

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Speaker 1: myself a pep talk and just like who So, yeah,

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Speaker 1: so how long did you continue to keep going on?

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Speaker 1: I continued up until who like, right before um we

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Speaker 1: let out for them. You know, the semester break is

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Speaker 1: that Christmas break in New Year's So we get two

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Speaker 1: weeks off and I was still there. Honestly, I was

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Speaker 1: already dilated, and I still was going to school like

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Speaker 1: I wasn't supposed to the last week before we let out,

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Speaker 1: I wasn't supposed to go. But we have so many

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Speaker 1: much work before we let out before that break, and

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm like, oh, I'm going to have a

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Speaker 1: baby soon. I don't want this to you know, affect

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Speaker 1: them this semester um. So you know, I just I

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Speaker 1: kept going until my coach seeing me, it was like

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Speaker 1: you better go home, Like he knew that I was

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Speaker 1: already dilated because my child's father told him, so he's like,

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Speaker 1: you better leave girl where you had this baby at

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Speaker 1: this school? Fun. You just scared me, So I'm going home.

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Speaker 1: How was my labor was easy? Um? I was in

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Speaker 1: labor fourteen hours obviously, you know, I thought it was first.

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Speaker 1: I mean I felt the pain, don't get me wrong,

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Speaker 1: but um, I was in labor, uh, active labor, in

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Speaker 1: active labor for seven hours, active labor for seven hours.

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Speaker 1: So um, you know I went seven hours with medicine,

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Speaker 1: seven hours without medicine. Um, yeah, it was. It was.

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Speaker 1: I mean I felt the contractions, don't get me wrong,

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Speaker 1: but honestly it was. I kind of had to breathe

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Speaker 1: through it like with the track. You know, my our

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Speaker 1: coaches taught us how to breathe and had to breathe

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Speaker 1: like run breathe through pain. Like I was able to

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Speaker 1: learn how to do all of that. So I was

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Speaker 1: able to, um breathe my way through it. And then

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Speaker 1: just having like my child's father there for support and

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Speaker 1: my mom like you know, it helped me and hurished me. Um. Um,

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Speaker 1: I felt I did get the epidural, so when I

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Speaker 1: had her, I really did. It was pressure down Mary,

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Speaker 1: you know, but it wasn't too too bad. It was

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Speaker 1: more solf after labels that was very painful for me. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that was my next question. Why did you say that

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Speaker 1: the post labor was worse than that actually on it?

329
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Speaker 1: Because my daughter, you know, I was smaller then. I'm

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Speaker 1: still small, but she was like over a little over

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Speaker 1: seven pounds, so she like ripped me and I had

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Speaker 1: to get stitches. So you know, yeah, it was bad,

333
00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:40,560
Speaker 1: you know, trying to use the bathroom and breastfeed and

334
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:45,440
Speaker 1: you know, fixed her bottles and everything, brush her hair

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Speaker 1: and I'm hurting doing my work and I'm just so

336
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:52,880
Speaker 1: like m and so much pain, and my boots or swow.

337
00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:56,040
Speaker 1: They felt like I was carrying rocks. Like it was

338
00:18:56,200 --> 00:19:00,800
Speaker 1: so bad. It was so bad. What was your family?

339
00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:06,960
Speaker 1: They're very supportive, very supportive. My sister, I remember she

340
00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:09,680
Speaker 1: would just come down and clean all the bottles from

341
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Speaker 1: me because when I would have to go to school,

342
00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:13,960
Speaker 1: you know, I had to pump all night and then

343
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,800
Speaker 1: put the milk up and you know, basically make them

344
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:21,040
Speaker 1: bottles for when I go to school. So um, you know,

345
00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:25,200
Speaker 1: there was such a big help with changing her diapers. Um,

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00:19:25,359 --> 00:19:27,400
Speaker 1: you know, they were they were they were huge help.

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Speaker 1: My mom, my stepfather, my dad. He kind of was

348
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Speaker 1: like out the way I think it. He was taking

349
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Speaker 1: it very hard. So but everyone else was very very supportive.

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Speaker 1: What is your relationship like with your dad now? Like

351
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Speaker 1: is he still I still don't know to this day.

352
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Speaker 1: Like my dad, he's one of those guys where, um,

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Speaker 1: he keeps everything in. He doesn't express anything, he doesn't

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00:19:56,920 --> 00:20:00,919
Speaker 1: show any emotions. So still today, I don't. No, we

355
00:20:01,119 --> 00:20:04,400
Speaker 1: barely talked like that. Um, you know, I reach out,

356
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:08,800
Speaker 1: but you know, I just kind of like just I

357
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:10,720
Speaker 1: didn't want to force it anymore. I'm just like, you

358
00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:15,960
Speaker 1: know what, yeah, it is it right? Yeah? So how

359
00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:19,120
Speaker 1: was it? What was it like going back to school?

360
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:22,680
Speaker 1: It was I missed the nightler Like you know, before

361
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Speaker 1: I was that's my daughter, before I was going with

362
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:28,160
Speaker 1: her and she was in my stomach. So I felt like,

363
00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:30,399
Speaker 1: you know, it was two of me, or at least

364
00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:33,640
Speaker 1: me and a half. So when I came back, you know,

365
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:38,480
Speaker 1: it was different because I was used to that pregnancy treatment.

366
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Speaker 1: Because it got to a point where you know, people

367
00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:43,200
Speaker 1: would carry my books. If I dropped the pencil, They're

368
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Speaker 1: going to pick up up you like I got spoil.

369
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Speaker 1: Oh my man, I guess I gotta pick up my

370
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Speaker 1: own pencil. I could carry my own books. You gotta

371
00:20:58,119 --> 00:21:02,360
Speaker 1: carry your own books exactly, like but no, it was cool.

372
00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:06,399
Speaker 1: I just knew you was gonna say something deep like girl, no,

373
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Speaker 1: like no. But when I came back, you know, people

374
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,520
Speaker 1: were like, wow, you know you snapped back, and how

375
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:15,520
Speaker 1: is everything and so, you know, so strong. It's seen

376
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:19,399
Speaker 1: my post so honestly, like it was nothing compared to

377
00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:21,680
Speaker 1: how it was coming in. You know when the year

378
00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:24,639
Speaker 1: first started. By then, it was just like wow, and

379
00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:27,320
Speaker 1: I came back and I immediately um started back and

380
00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:29,959
Speaker 1: running tracks. So you know, like the people were just like,

381
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:33,359
Speaker 1: you know, amazed. And I was way more focused because

382
00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:35,160
Speaker 1: I know I had my little one at home, so

383
00:21:36,119 --> 00:21:37,840
Speaker 1: I just was, you know, doing my work. I had

384
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:42,439
Speaker 1: made sure I stayed focused, and I end up making

385
00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:46,160
Speaker 1: honors that year too, so I had like an Honor's Day,

386
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:49,080
Speaker 1: and you know, the baby later on that year she

387
00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:52,000
Speaker 1: was able to come. So it was it was honestly,

388
00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:53,760
Speaker 1: it was such a good year. I would do it

389
00:21:53,800 --> 00:22:00,400
Speaker 1: all over again if I could. You guys high school, yes, God,

390
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:05,840
Speaker 1: what was the sacrifice that you made while young? Mom?

391
00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:11,280
Speaker 1: I oh, you know, of course Um, I'll throughout high school.

392
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Speaker 1: You know, I had my ninth grade year. By tenth

393
00:22:13,119 --> 00:22:16,280
Speaker 1: grade year, a lot of my friends were driving, So

394
00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:20,720
Speaker 1: I kind of missed out on that. Um for that

395
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:23,239
Speaker 1: kind of was pushed back because my family was going

396
00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:26,399
Speaker 1: through their own stuff. But UM, I missed out on

397
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:30,679
Speaker 1: a lot of games because my sisters they're underneath you know,

398
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:32,760
Speaker 1: there are a few years under me, and they would

399
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:35,320
Speaker 1: watch not allatle but you know once they hit high

400
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:37,720
Speaker 1: school and stuff, they was ready to hit the games. Yeah,

401
00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:42,240
Speaker 1: so you know, unders that on a lot of games, party,

402
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:47,359
Speaker 1: birthday parties, movies. UM missed out on a lot of

403
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:51,199
Speaker 1: the field excuse me, field trips like I missed my

404
00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:53,440
Speaker 1: senior field trip, like the big trip that they take

405
00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:56,560
Speaker 1: at the end of the year. Um, I had to

406
00:22:57,400 --> 00:23:01,679
Speaker 1: fast fast like or talent and I'm telling them like no,

407
00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:05,280
Speaker 1: I can't do that, or having birthday plans for myself

408
00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:08,600
Speaker 1: and then something goes wrong with no love and then

409
00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:11,600
Speaker 1: I'm my own everything's canceled like it was. Yeah, I

410
00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:19,800
Speaker 1: had sacrifice sacrifice a lot. How has your social life cheange?

411
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:25,959
Speaker 1: Like did you lose O? I did you know? Of

412
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,920
Speaker 1: course being pregnant, it showed me who my true friends were.

413
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:31,399
Speaker 1: But you know, at that age, it's so young. You

414
00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:34,240
Speaker 1: know you're gonna you have friends come and go anyway.

415
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:37,560
Speaker 1: But I still you know, in that time, you know,

416
00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:40,119
Speaker 1: I was so social, so I thought so many people

417
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:43,560
Speaker 1: was cool with me and like me, I'm a genuine person,

418
00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:45,199
Speaker 1: so I'm oh, I got your back, But a lot

419
00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:48,600
Speaker 1: of people really didn't have my back. And so you know,

420
00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:51,160
Speaker 1: I had a lot of people returning over the years.

421
00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:55,199
Speaker 1: Um you know, I just I kind of stayed with

422
00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:58,520
Speaker 1: that same circle. Like my friends are just my same

423
00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:02,600
Speaker 1: friends from elementary in early middle school, so you know,

424
00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:05,560
Speaker 1: they've been here the whole time. But it opened my

425
00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:09,360
Speaker 1: eyes to a lot because you know, at that back then,

426
00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:11,560
Speaker 1: I had to kind of grow up and you know

427
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:14,919
Speaker 1: I had to think like adult and my friends, you know,

428
00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:17,840
Speaker 1: some people were you know, I just didn't think how

429
00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:20,480
Speaker 1: I did. But of course, you know, I was a parent.

430
00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:28,560
Speaker 1: So yeah, my circle changed tremendously. And I can only

431
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:31,160
Speaker 1: imagine what the conversation is like, like you really can't talk.

432
00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:35,880
Speaker 1: You couldn't even my cloak, even my friends, like within

433
00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:39,280
Speaker 1: my circle, our conversations was so different. Like I wasn't

434
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:41,680
Speaker 1: into the things that you know they were into or

435
00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:44,720
Speaker 1: you know there. It was just so different. They could

436
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:47,480
Speaker 1: spend it all on shopping and get all the latest things,

437
00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:52,119
Speaker 1: and me, I'm just like, oh I got diapers, But

438
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:55,439
Speaker 1: did you have another? Do you have another friend? Oh? Man,

439
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:58,879
Speaker 1: did you know anybody? I didn't meet some people in

440
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:00,720
Speaker 1: high school. It was like a couple of other girls

441
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:03,119
Speaker 1: that were pregnant, but they weren't close friends to me,

442
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:06,280
Speaker 1: but we did keep in connection. I'm keeping contact with

443
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:09,639
Speaker 1: each other. So it was like, okay, but I didn't

444
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:13,560
Speaker 1: have any close friends up until like now. So you

445
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:16,520
Speaker 1: know that are that had baby so I could never

446
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:19,560
Speaker 1: do like mommy dates or you know, because I had

447
00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:23,480
Speaker 1: babies so early, so I can never do play eight

448
00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:25,320
Speaker 1: or I have a conversation with a mom and they

449
00:25:25,359 --> 00:25:29,879
Speaker 1: actually understood it, like you know, I was coming from right.

450
00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:39,119
Speaker 1: So what did your relationship like with the Okay? Um,

451
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:41,479
Speaker 1: it's kind of like me and Himmer and two different

452
00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:48,760
Speaker 1: uh areas of life and like ments. Our mentalities are

453
00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:52,600
Speaker 1: completely different. Um. You know you know they say girls

454
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:58,720
Speaker 1: away faster than boys, So um, yeah, where is he

455
00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:05,120
Speaker 1: with his mentality? He had? Don't get me wrong, he

456
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:10,919
Speaker 1: has something sense, but he's easily distracted. So and like

457
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:14,359
Speaker 1: his focus is in the wrong places right now. Um,

458
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:17,560
Speaker 1: right and wrong. But like I said, he's just easily distracted.

459
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:20,560
Speaker 1: So you know, me, I'm a mom and I'm gonna

460
00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:24,000
Speaker 1: go you know, I'm a parent. You know, I'm doing anything.

461
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:26,280
Speaker 1: I would do anything for her I have to do,

462
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:29,359
Speaker 1: you know, I'll sacrifice anything. So he's kind of like

463
00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:33,119
Speaker 1: he's not in that parent father mo. Yeah, he's just

464
00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:36,679
Speaker 1: kind of like, oh, I have a daughter, but he

465
00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:43,360
Speaker 1: doesn't have that push behind him yet. So yeah, right, yes, yes,

466
00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:48,280
Speaker 1: um yeah, she's yeah, she's here. You know, we um,

467
00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:50,560
Speaker 1: our relationship haven't been the best over the years, but

468
00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:54,960
Speaker 1: now like now today we're you know, we're okay, Like

469
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:58,240
Speaker 1: we're way better than it was. So you know, I'm

470
00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:01,760
Speaker 1: grateful for that. So do you have any regrets to

471
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:05,280
Speaker 1: getting pregnant at the age of fourteen? Not anymore. Back

472
00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:07,919
Speaker 1: then I did, but now you know, I kind of

473
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:11,480
Speaker 1: seek things or hey, everything happens for a reason, honestly,

474
00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:15,240
Speaker 1: Like I don't know where I would be if I

475
00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:19,399
Speaker 1: didn't have her. Um. You know, I was hard on

476
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:22,359
Speaker 1: myself over the years because you know, I was young,

477
00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:26,160
Speaker 1: so she wasn't born into stability you know, she wasn't

478
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:30,240
Speaker 1: born to a two parent household, so you know that

479
00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:32,959
Speaker 1: was a lot for me because, um, you know, I

480
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:34,840
Speaker 1: just wanted to give her that, and I knew she

481
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:38,040
Speaker 1: like when I sacrifice things, you know, I also had

482
00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:41,240
Speaker 1: to make sacrifices. Well she had to sacrifice as well,

483
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:43,960
Speaker 1: you know, even as a child so early. And I'm like, oh,

484
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:47,680
Speaker 1: you know, you know she didn't ask for to be here.

485
00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:50,120
Speaker 1: She was born into it. So you know, I used

486
00:27:50,119 --> 00:27:54,280
Speaker 1: to beat myself up about that, but now, like I said,

487
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:56,639
Speaker 1: I'm just on um grind old. I'm just like, you know,

488
00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:59,520
Speaker 1: I'm going to make it happen because she's watching every

489
00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:03,080
Speaker 1: move I make and she's like she copies and says

490
00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:07,480
Speaker 1: everything I do. So I came forward so you know, uh,

491
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:14,679
Speaker 1: slip up or anything with her, right. I'm just curious

492
00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:16,480
Speaker 1: because I know that you said that you were against

493
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:22,600
Speaker 1: abortion in the beginning of the conversation, But what made

494
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:25,199
Speaker 1: you like did you not want to like lean towards it,

495
00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:26,679
Speaker 1: or like you were just really like it was like

496
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:28,720
Speaker 1: a solid not like you just knew that you wanted

497
00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:30,560
Speaker 1: to be a mom or you knew that you was

498
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:33,439
Speaker 1: going to be a mom. I was actually I always

499
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:36,399
Speaker 1: was against abortion. It was it was more so my

500
00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:39,240
Speaker 1: family and my year. But as soon as I found out,

501
00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:40,720
Speaker 1: I was just like, okay, I'm about to be a

502
00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:47,160
Speaker 1: mom because I didn't, you know, I was still a minor.

503
00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:49,840
Speaker 1: So my parents were pretty much just kind of like,

504
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:54,520
Speaker 1: you know it feel on what they said, like I'm

505
00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:56,720
Speaker 1: at to have once. I was kind of getting my mind,

506
00:28:57,360 --> 00:28:59,400
Speaker 1: you know, ready for it. But then, you know, like

507
00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:05,280
Speaker 1: I said, my um ended up changing her mind. Yeah,

508
00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:12,760
Speaker 1: that is truth. If she would have say yes thinking

509
00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:16,800
Speaker 1: about it, Yeah, I know that is scary, right, and

510
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:22,280
Speaker 1: we both took a deep broad um. Last my least,

511
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:25,440
Speaker 1: when your daughter becomes of age, what kind of conversation

512
00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:28,320
Speaker 1: would you have with her about sex. I'm gonna, honestly,

513
00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:31,720
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have that real heart to heart conversation with her.

514
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:34,520
Speaker 1: But I'm not going to sugar coat or beat around

515
00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:37,600
Speaker 1: the bush with anything. I'm just I would just kind

516
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:41,360
Speaker 1: of bring up what we've been through and tell her,

517
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:43,719
Speaker 1: like you've seen you know, we have to grow up together.

518
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:46,000
Speaker 1: So I would tell her, like, you know, you've seen

519
00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:48,000
Speaker 1: my journey, You've seen what I had to go through.

520
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:51,200
Speaker 1: She's seen drama I had to deal with. Even with

521
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:54,479
Speaker 1: the you know, her side of the family. You know,

522
00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:57,280
Speaker 1: she's you know, she wouldn'tess it all. And I would

523
00:29:57,320 --> 00:29:58,840
Speaker 1: just tell her that you want to go through that,

524
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:02,200
Speaker 1: you know I and I you know she knows that

525
00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:04,920
Speaker 1: I've sacrificed my dream. You know I told you know,

526
00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:06,880
Speaker 1: I tell her things even now, you know we have

527
00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:11,959
Speaker 1: that conversation, UM run track, but honestly that dream has changed.

528
00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:15,880
Speaker 1: But you know I wanted to UM, I wanted to

529
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:20,480
Speaker 1: run in Olympics, So you know, and O we're big

530
00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:23,800
Speaker 1: on speaking to speaking on what she wants to become

531
00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:27,480
Speaker 1: now and having goals and everything. So I would just

532
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:29,320
Speaker 1: tell it like, do you want to do you want

533
00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:31,320
Speaker 1: to sacrifice that? Do you want to bring your child

534
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:35,479
Speaker 1: into this and into you know, instability and you know,

535
00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:39,040
Speaker 1: just not being ready and drama and you know it's

536
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:42,560
Speaker 1: it's just too much that comes with it, or if

537
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:45,160
Speaker 1: the guy isn't the right one, like I would just

538
00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:48,000
Speaker 1: seriously have that talk with her and let her know

539
00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:52,680
Speaker 1: that everything that comes with it. What would be your

540
00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:56,080
Speaker 1: response if you found out that she was pregnant at

541
00:30:56,120 --> 00:31:08,960
Speaker 1: fourteen pass out o flore But you know I wouldn't

542
00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:13,080
Speaker 1: I wouldn't dare UM, tell her to have abortion. You

543
00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:15,560
Speaker 1: know we would. We will be in this together, like

544
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:18,040
Speaker 1: you know, we will be in this together. Well, I

545
00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:21,480
Speaker 1: just want to tell you Happy Mother's Day. UM. I'm

546
00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:23,200
Speaker 1: super proud of you. I've been watching your stories and

547
00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:25,280
Speaker 1: stuff and I'm like, okay, I'm like, you gotta get

548
00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:27,080
Speaker 1: head on your shoulders and even though things may not

549
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:30,080
Speaker 1: work out now that it's not gonna work out ever,

550
00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:33,480
Speaker 1: you know, so just keep going. I mean, you show

551
00:31:33,560 --> 00:31:38,000
Speaker 1: resilience so far, so all the other mothers out there. UM,

552
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:40,040
Speaker 1: thank you so much for all that you do. I'm

553
00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:42,120
Speaker 1: super proud of all of you. I cannot wait to

554
00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:45,440
Speaker 1: become a mother myself and I know and if you

555
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:47,960
Speaker 1: have any questions, comments and concerns, anything you want to

556
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:49,560
Speaker 1: reach out to my guests and just connect with her,

557
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:54,200
Speaker 1: please email me and hello at the PhD podcast. Thank you.

558
00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:58,440
Speaker 1: I really enjoyed it every bringing up those old stories

559
00:31:58,520 --> 00:32:00,760
Speaker 1: and trying to you know, talking write it. I haven't

560
00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:04,680
Speaker 1: had anyone really asked me questions about it, so it's

561
00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:08,200
Speaker 1: so long. No, thank you. Thank you so much for

562
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:10,360
Speaker 1: sharing your story and just being so transparent, Like I

563
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:12,560
Speaker 1: really appreciate it, and I think a lot of people

564
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:14,360
Speaker 1: will be able to relate to this because a lot

565
00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:16,800
Speaker 1: of moms out there did have their kids or their

566
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:18,880
Speaker 1: children when they was really young. So, you know, thank

567
00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:22,720
Speaker 1: you for sharing your story and to my listeners until

568
00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:24,400
Speaker 1: next time, guys Later,