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Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vanderkam. I'm a mother of four,

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Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah Hart Hunger.

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Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, practicing physician and blogger. On

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Speaker 1: the side, we are two working parents who love our

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Speaker 1: careers and our families. Welcome to Best of both Worlds.

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Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family,

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Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping

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Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get

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Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to Best of Both Worlds.

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Speaker 1: This is Laura. This is episode eighty two. We're going

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Speaker 1: to be talking about our household systems today, sort of

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Speaker 1: how we make things work. This is based on some

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Speaker 1: comments and some questions people have left on Sarah and

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Speaker 1: my blogs and our Instagram page for Best of Both Worlds,

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Speaker 1: a survey we did last fall. You know, people are

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Speaker 1: always interested in figuring out ways to make their lives

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Speaker 1: work better, and so while we can't claim to have

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Speaker 1: figured it out, which would be awesome if we had,

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Speaker 1: but we haven't. But there are a couple of things

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Speaker 1: that you know work for us as we're managing our

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Speaker 1: households that we wanted to share and hopefully people will

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Speaker 1: pick up some tips, and we'd love to hear from

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Speaker 1: you as well. So if you have a great household

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Speaker 1: management tip, a system that works for you and your family,

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Speaker 1: please let us know, because we are always interested in

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Speaker 1: doing things better. Yeah. I feel like it would be

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Speaker 1: fun kind of to do a maybe a part two

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Speaker 1: with the listener participation next time. Oh yeah, no, I

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Speaker 1: mean people's best hacks. That would be a great one.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, please send those in. We'll try to put

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Speaker 1: together an episode on that. Although what isn't it Sorry,

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Speaker 1: go ahead, Sarah, as I said, But in the meantime,

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Speaker 1: and before we dive into that, you are, you know,

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Speaker 1: life updates kind of in the thick of it book wise,

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Speaker 1: right yeah, yeah, no, So we're This is airing about

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Speaker 1: two weeks before my book, Juliette School of Possibilities launches

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Speaker 1: on March twelfth, And so if you've been listening to

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Speaker 1: this podcast and thinking, hey, wouldn't it be great to

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Speaker 1: have more of Laura, you can pre order Juliett. I

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Speaker 1: woul really appreciate it if you do it. I actually

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Speaker 1: have a pre order incentive going for people who are

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Speaker 1: willing to buy the book before it actually comes out.

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Speaker 1: You can just go to my website, Laura vandercam dot

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Speaker 1: com and go to the Juliette School of Possibilities page.

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Speaker 1: You can order it through any of your favorite retailers there, Amazon,

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Speaker 1: Barnes and Noble, Indie Bound one eight hundred CEO, read

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Speaker 1: a lot of the other major retailers, and then just

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Speaker 1: fill out the form with your email address and I'll

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Speaker 1: send you a ebook. It's called Laura's Little Book of

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Speaker 1: Life Hacks one hundred and thirteen ideas for winning at

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Speaker 1: work and at home. And it's got just a lot

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Speaker 1: of my favorite tips. And this podcast episode is about

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Speaker 1: our systems, and you know, a couple of those are

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Speaker 1: a version of them are in there, but there's a

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Speaker 1: lot of other ones too. These are just things that

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Speaker 1: make my life run more smoothly, or people have told

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Speaker 1: me over the years make their lives run smoothly. And

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Speaker 1: so I sort of figure, you know, I know a

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Speaker 1: lot of people. It's like a fable. I'm kind of

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Speaker 1: asking people to take a bit of a leap of

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Speaker 1: faith to read something productivity related that is in fact

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Speaker 1: a novella. But if you're like, I'm not sure, if

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Speaker 1: I'm into that or not. You could pre order and

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Speaker 1: then get this free book of life hacks and get

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Speaker 1: the prescriptive stuff that you like more, and you're just

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Speaker 1: getting two books for the price of one. So well,

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Speaker 1: I got to say, you know the way, there are

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Speaker 1: many nonfiction books out there, and there are more and

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Speaker 1: more on productivity. But I think it's kind of cool

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Speaker 1: that now we have a different kind of format that

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Speaker 1: people can read those types of things in. So I

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Speaker 1: think the fact that it's a novella is not going

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Speaker 1: to scare people. I think it's going to make people

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Speaker 1: more likely to want to dive in because it's so different,

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Speaker 1: let's hope. So but yeah, thank you very much for that.

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Speaker 1: I know a lot of people have written me that

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Speaker 1: they have pre ordered, and I really so appreciate that

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Speaker 1: people are willing to, you know, express their support for

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Speaker 1: it and are excited about the book. So yeah, thank

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Speaker 1: you very much for that. So Sarah, life updates for you?

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Speaker 1: What's going on for you? Well, you kind of know.

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Speaker 1: So we were trying to schedule time for Josh to

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Speaker 1: be on the podcast, and that is coming up. People like,

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Speaker 1: don't worry, we're gonna have our first male guest and

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Speaker 1: it is going to be Josh, so, and we thought about,

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Speaker 1: we thought about Sunday night, and then we were just

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Speaker 1: too tired, and then it just it just made me think,

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Speaker 1: and I remarked to him on our date night on

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Speaker 1: Saturday night, like we're in this phase of busyness with

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Speaker 1: work and kids right now where if we're not super

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Speaker 1: super intentional about making time with each other, we're not

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Speaker 1: seeing each other very much. And I think maybe I

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Speaker 1: thought that was going to be better once he started

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Speaker 1: the new job, but he's actually really busy from the outset,

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Speaker 1: so he's been getting home pretty late and trying to

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Speaker 1: really keep up with his paperwork, maybe a little bit

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Speaker 1: better than he did previously. And I have been in

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Speaker 1: this nice routine of going to bed fairly early and

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Speaker 1: getting up early because honestly, I'm pretty useless after nine

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Speaker 1: pm anyway. But that means if he gets home at

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Speaker 1: nine thirty and I'm going to bed at nine thirty,

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Speaker 1: sadly there's not a lot, not a lot of a

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Speaker 1: couple time going on in the younger household. No. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So I'm trying to be more intentional about it, and

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Speaker 1: whether that means, you know, figuring out one week night

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Speaker 1: that we both do try to overlap better and making

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Speaker 1: sure we do our weekend date nights. I think definitely

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Speaker 1: something I want to make sure we're working on because

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Speaker 1: that's important. Yeah, of course it is. Yeah, No, we

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Speaker 1: have not, you know, been stellar about that ourselves, although

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Speaker 1: we have slightly more overlap in terms of when we

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Speaker 1: see each other. But we're actually when we're recording this

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Speaker 1: in mid February, we're about to celebrate sixteen years since

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Speaker 1: we first met. Very exciting, and you know, we don't

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Speaker 1: have any particular plans. We're actually taking off for Disney

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Speaker 1: today the day we're recording this. Oh how romantic Disney

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Speaker 1: with like four children in our hotel room is how

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Speaker 1: we'll be celebrating the anniversary of meeting, as well as

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Speaker 1: our anniversary of getting engaged, our anniversary like Valentine's dates,

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Speaker 1: it's really we're hitting all the big dates with many,

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Speaker 1: many children in the room. But hopefully we'll do something

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Speaker 1: fun for our fifteenth wedding anniversary this summer. We have

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Speaker 1: a goal to take a trip somewhere but short and

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Speaker 1: somewhere that doesn't involve like my husband's work. I'm kind

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Speaker 1: of I know, it's the free ticket, but still I like,

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Speaker 1: I do feel like I feel like every five years

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Speaker 1: you kind of need to do something big, so you

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Speaker 1: actually do Yeah, all right, Well, so going into our

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Speaker 1: main segment, I mean, figuring out when date nights are

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Speaker 1: going to happen is certainly one of our systems. And

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Speaker 1: one thing we did is have childcare regularly on Friday nights.

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Speaker 1: That are our childcare, I mean just that we have

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Speaker 1: for the work day on Friday, like extends theoretically to

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Speaker 1: eight pm, and if we're not doing anything, we'll send

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Speaker 1: her home. But if we're, you know, going to do something,

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Speaker 1: we could go for an early dinner or we've gone

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Speaker 1: to a museum that had evening hours. So that's a

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Speaker 1: nice way to sort of build it in. And that

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Speaker 1: works well for you. Because your husband's hours he's to

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Speaker 1: winding down the week, then that would not work for

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Speaker 1: us because Friday night tends to be one of my

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Speaker 1: husband's latest work nights as he's trying to wrap stuff

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Speaker 1: up for the weekends. But I do like that we

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Speaker 1: do Saturday nights, and I do book them well in advance,

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Speaker 1: so I look at our cause schedules and as soon

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Speaker 1: as I have those, I basically reserve our one extremely

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Speaker 1: reliable and trustworthy babysitter that we have, and I send

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Speaker 1: it to her and kind of therefore and then make

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Speaker 1: reservations kind of around that. Yeah, all right, so let's

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Speaker 1: talk about your bag system. I've been reading about this

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Speaker 1: on your blog, and I'm so intrigued by this idea

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Speaker 1: of multiple bags, because I'm quite sure I would lose

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Speaker 1: my wallet and my keys if I attempted to move

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Speaker 1: purses at any point. So what do you have going

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Speaker 1: on with this? Well, first of all, let's remember that

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Speaker 1: I still have a baby who uses diapers, so I

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Speaker 1: Am not going to be carrying around diapers and wipes

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Speaker 1: in my work bags, so there's no way of using

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Speaker 1: just one bag for everything. My work bag is also

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Speaker 1: a fairly structured looking, professional looking bag that I don't

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Speaker 1: necessarily want to lug around to birthday parties, you know,

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Speaker 1: outdoor things. So my new ritual and I always kind

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Speaker 1: of did this, but I never did it fully there,

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Speaker 1: and I kind of maybe it was a little bit

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Speaker 1: inspired by Marie Condo, who suggests that you dump out

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Speaker 1: the contents of your bag every single night. Now I

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Speaker 1: do not do that at all, But what I do

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Speaker 1: is on Saturday morning, I basically take my diaper backpack.

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Speaker 1: I use a like a backpack for the kids stuff,

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Speaker 1: and I just feel like it's so much easier to

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Speaker 1: sling something on your back than lug around on your hip.

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Speaker 1: So and I just make sure does it have diapers?

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Speaker 1: Does it have too many diapers? I don't want to

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Speaker 1: carry around twelve diapers. I really only need to do

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Speaker 1: I have a fresh pack of wipes that's not dry?

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Speaker 1: Do I have sunscreen? Do I have bugspread? Do I

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Speaker 1: have some kind of emergency food? Have I gotten rid

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Speaker 1: of all the extraneous crap from the week before, like

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Speaker 1: random receipts that were stuffed in there? Do I have

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Speaker 1: my sunglasses? And then I do switch my wallet over

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Speaker 1: and my car key's over, and I know that I

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Speaker 1: have to just stick my phone in there before I

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Speaker 1: go out the door. And then I'm like readily stocked.

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Speaker 1: And it is hard enough getting out of the house

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Speaker 1: with three children, so I don't want to add the

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Speaker 1: inertia of not having a bag that is ready to go.

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Speaker 1: So I do that every Saturday morning, and then Sunday night,

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Speaker 1: when I'm thinking about, okay, I have to go back

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Speaker 1: to work in order to avoid realizing that my wallet

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Speaker 1: was still in the diaper bag, I purposefully put it

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Speaker 1: back into my work bag and kind of take that

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Speaker 1: time to clear out the work bag and get rid

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Speaker 1: of receipts and sundry random crap. Now I also have

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Speaker 1: two other bags that sometimes come into the rotation if

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Speaker 1: I'm going out with the kids, but I don't need

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Speaker 1: a full on diaper bag. But that means like if

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Speaker 1: I'm going to a birthday party with like just Annibal

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Speaker 1: and Cameron, for example, I have sort of a casual

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Speaker 1: weekend bag that all I have to do is throw

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Speaker 1: my wallet in there and I'm ready to go. And

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Speaker 1: then I have a tiny little bag that I use

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Speaker 1: for date nights that really just has space for my

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Speaker 1: phone and credit cards and that kind of stuff. Sometimes

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Speaker 1: I don't even really need that because I just let

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Speaker 1: Josh be in charge of everything. But if I feel

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Speaker 1: like being responsible, or you know, if I might get carded,

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Speaker 1: wishful thing, wishful thing, I know, I keep oping. Like

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Speaker 1: I was sitting at a table next to two young

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Speaker 1: ladies at a bar the other day and the way

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Speaker 1: definitely carded both of them, and then she's just like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: what do you want? And I'm like, what, God, is

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Speaker 1: it that obvious? Like, oh man, I hear I hear you?

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Speaker 1: I yeah, well, oh well, I mean I guess I'm forty.

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Speaker 1: There's no getting they're dumb. They're they're not very smart

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Speaker 1: because they know that they should know that the way

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Speaker 1: to get a big tip is to card all people

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Speaker 1: who look like they really don't need to be carted anymore.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, exactly exactly. Anyway, So that's my bag system.

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Speaker 1: So you don't have a bag system I don't have.

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm also looking at you. Unit's that you're now

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Speaker 1: going to keep bouncy house socks in your diaper bag

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Speaker 1: because hell yeah, I've been burned too many times. It's

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Speaker 1: like the same, And I mean the good news is like,

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Speaker 1: now I have a lot of socks that I've bought

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Speaker 1: for three dollars each and they're actually not typically terrible socks.

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Speaker 1: In fact, this one place has these ones with little

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Speaker 1: sticky things on the bottom. My mom. I have quite

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Speaker 1: a collection now, and I kind of like them because

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Speaker 1: the kids can run around in them inside and not fall.

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Speaker 1: But I'm kind of tired of buying them, so yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: and inflated sock prices at the bouncy house when you

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Speaker 1: haven't brought your own that comes out, you know, I do.

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Speaker 1: I often carry a pair of socks in my bag

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Speaker 1: of hard for me because my winter you know, I

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Speaker 1: like to wear like these slip on shoes and it's

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Speaker 1: winter here, and so what I'm kind of worried is that,

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Speaker 1: like I don't know, my car is going to break down,

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Speaker 1: and then I don't have socks like you know, so

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Speaker 1: I would I would put on the socks if I

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Speaker 1: needed them. But yeah, the kids mostly have socks, like

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Speaker 1: they're not, you know, wearing I mean, they're wearing sneakers,

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Speaker 1: and so they generally have the socks. But yeah, no,

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Speaker 1: not needing diapers anymore is great, although I will say

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Speaker 1: I always just put a diaper and a small travel

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Speaker 1: thing of wipes in my purse, like and so I've

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Speaker 1: never really had a diaper bag. I guess I just

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Speaker 1: decided I didn't, you know, I wasn't buying expensive enough

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Speaker 1: daily bags that I was worried about having a diaper

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Speaker 1: wipes in them. And then, like I said, my brain

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Speaker 1: is not able to be sure that I put my

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Speaker 1: wallet and keys in a different bag if I have

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Speaker 1: a different bag. So I think the only way, the

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Speaker 1: only way is to like make a true ritual out

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Speaker 1: so like it's not but it's like, Okay, it's Sunday night.

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Speaker 1: What are my my work prep stuff includes X? Yeah? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so now we just have one bag now. And possibly

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Speaker 1: this is why my bags get so beat up is

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Speaker 1: because I use them for everything. I mean, they're they're

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Speaker 1: not only my day to day bag, like the bag

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Speaker 1: for with kids. It's also you know, my carry on

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Speaker 1: for planes. So yeah, it's it goes, goes everywhere. Well

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Speaker 1: that seems quite streamlined. Actually, yeah, talk to me about

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Speaker 1: this mythical thing called the mud room. Yeah, well you know,

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Speaker 1: I mean, you guys have mud, but you don't, you know,

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Speaker 1: have as much of the paraphernalia that's associated with dealing

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Speaker 1: with the mud. You know, we have winter gear, you

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Speaker 1: have we have five sets of boots, so mine and

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Speaker 1: the kids, I don't know. My husband keeps his somewhere else,

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Speaker 1: but that's his deal. And coats and hats and mittens,

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Speaker 1: and then of course the stuff like backpacks and sports

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Speaker 1: equipment and so I know I've I've mentioned this probably

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Speaker 1: ten zillion times on this podcast. But the mudroom has

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Speaker 1: been key. And so if you're looking for a house,

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Speaker 1: like look for one that has a space by the

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Speaker 1: garage or wherever you're going to come in most frequently

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Speaker 1: that has space for this stuff, or you can install

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Speaker 1: it right if there's an entry way, you can install

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Speaker 1: like a bench, and then hooks probably you know the

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Speaker 1: number of hooks that correspond with the number of family

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Speaker 1: members you have. We also put bins in there, so

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Speaker 1: each child has a bin of stuff for like their mittens.

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Speaker 1: You know, if they're ever like where is my you know,

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Speaker 1: that's the first place to look, like their bin is

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Speaker 1: where to look for that thing that they're about to yell,

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Speaker 1: where is my whatever? And it works, you know pretty well,

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Speaker 1: Like so that's where the backpacks stay. And then so

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Speaker 1: things like homework can only be in the backpack in

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Speaker 1: the mudroom or actively being done, like there's there's no

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Speaker 1: other place that can go, because then you know it's lost,

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Speaker 1: it's gone, it's uh, you know, it's mixed up with

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Speaker 1: another child. It's mixed up with another child, and then

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Speaker 1: we'll never find it again. And you know, I'm not

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Speaker 1: saying we don't lose stuff. We lose stuff all the time.

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Speaker 1: I mean, we just had this sort of tragic situation

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Speaker 1: for a couple of days that my nine year old's

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Speaker 1: special stuff puppy was gone, and I you know, it

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Speaker 1: was right after the house got cleaned, and so it's

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Speaker 1: just like, well, did they put it somewhere? Did they

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Speaker 1: like find it and put it with another pile of

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Speaker 1: stuffed animals instead of on his bed, And so we

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Speaker 1: were hunting through everything, and then finally I found it

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Speaker 1: under his mattress last night, like it had just been

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Speaker 1: between the mattress and the bed frame, stuffed in there somewhere.

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Speaker 1: So that was, you know, a great cause of rejoicing.

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Speaker 1: But you know, if you've got six family members, losing

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Speaker 1: stuff is just going to eat time left and right.

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Speaker 1: You just can't do it. So, I mean, as much

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Speaker 1: as possibly try to avoid that, I know, some people

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Speaker 1: swear by those little like things that you know, on

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Speaker 1: your key, you can make a thing that makes noise

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Speaker 1: and you can find it with your phone. We haven't

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Speaker 1: got Tile, I believe is one of the brands of them,

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Speaker 1: but I'm sure there are multiple copycats. We have not

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Speaker 1: gotten into that, but I am with you in that,

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Speaker 1: like everything, having a place is very helpful. We struggled

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Speaker 1: initially after we moved because we hadn't really identified one.

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Speaker 1: And then we do have a closet, a front closet

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Speaker 1: in this house, which is a novelty, so it's like

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Speaker 1: almost halfway to a mud room, and we just designated

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Speaker 1: one bin that like that's where the keys go. And

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Speaker 1: as soon as we did that, it got a million

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Speaker 1: times better. Yea, because you just knew you're getting home

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Speaker 1: plunk the end sunglasses, et cetera. Yeah, the landing strip

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Speaker 1: as you called it, right, Yeah, that's it exactly well,

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Speaker 1: and we you know, we have a little bin that's

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Speaker 1: in the pantry that where we have an extra set

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Speaker 1: of keys for all the cars to generally avoid the issue.

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Speaker 1: And when our nanny comes here, she just then parks

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Speaker 1: her car in the garage so we don't have to

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Speaker 1: move around it because obviously I wouldn't want to, you know,

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Speaker 1: have her keys or anything. But then, but yeah, when

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Speaker 1: we had our kitchen renovated, and so all these systems

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Speaker 1: were just like messed up, right, we had to figure

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Speaker 1: out a new one, Like where do the keys go

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Speaker 1: when that spot is gone? Where do the membership cards

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Speaker 1: for like in our library cards go when that place

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Speaker 1: is gone. And it was interesting to think about those

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Speaker 1: systems when the systems are no longer there. The mail, like,

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Speaker 1: where does the mail go when the mail spot is gone?

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Speaker 1: Very very important if you want your bills to get

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Speaker 1: paid and all that good stuff. All right, what else

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Speaker 1: is on our list? We have a bunch of food

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Speaker 1: related items which we've kind of gone into before, but

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Speaker 1: school lunches, so we dipper on this one, which I

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Speaker 1: think is good. It's healthy to have a little little

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Speaker 1: discord on our podcast. Yeah. Yeah, well, I mean, I

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm whether it's not even about saving time

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Speaker 1: because I probably wouldn't be the one packing the lunches anyway.

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Speaker 1: It's just it's very convenient that I just load money

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Speaker 1: on the kid's card and then they can go find

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Speaker 1: something they like. You know, they can get a hot lunch,

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Speaker 1: which is definitely great because I don't know, there's there's

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Speaker 1: been a couple of studies finding that really most of

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Speaker 1: the thermoss don't actually work, like they don't keep the

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Speaker 1: food at a hot temperature. That's not you know, going

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Speaker 1: to have the bacterial growth and everything, or the cold food,

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Speaker 1: and the kids don't have access to a fridge or

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Speaker 1: microwave obvious, like you would as a as an adult

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Speaker 1: with an office. So you know, I like that they

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Speaker 1: can get a hot lunch and we have rules like

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Speaker 1: what they're allowed to take, and I can look at it.

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Speaker 1: So if I saw that they were having you know,

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Speaker 1: six bags of Dorito's, which I don't think our lunch

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Speaker 1: ladies would let them do anyway, but like, you know,

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Speaker 1: if they somehow got past the system, they could be

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Speaker 1: called on it. And that's actually really cool. I don't

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Speaker 1: think we have that option to like stock exactly what

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Speaker 1: they're getting. Yeah, well, so, I mean you can't see exactly,

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Speaker 1: but you well, what it is is the unit of

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Speaker 1: like you can see if they get the reimbursable approach

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Speaker 1: and then if they get extra stuff on top of that.

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Speaker 1: The reimversible lunch is whatever the entree option is for

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Speaker 1: the day, So I don't know what that is, but

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Speaker 1: it's whatever the you know, district nutritionists has designed for

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Speaker 1: the day. But then it's the extras, like are they

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Speaker 1: getting you know, five ice sandwiches? Then I can see. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I also wonder if your lunches are better than ours,

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Speaker 1: because I I don't know, there may not be nationwide standards.

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Speaker 1: Maybe there were, well I thought there were. I mean

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Speaker 1: that was the whole Michelle Obama thing. I mean some

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Speaker 1: of it's been watered down since because some of it

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Speaker 1: didn't make sense, right, Like you couldn't have ten servings

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Speaker 1: of bread, like ten pieces of bread a week, but

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Speaker 1: then you can't have a sandwich every day, Like it's

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Speaker 1: just oh yeah, it doesn't work. But they I mean,

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Speaker 1: you know, it's gotten better in many places from the

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Speaker 1: like Sloppy Joe's and meatloafs surprise of like when we

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Speaker 1: were going to school, and so given that my kids

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Speaker 1: like it, like I feel like it would be introducing

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Speaker 1: a problem where there isn't one. Like I've sort of said,

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Speaker 1: you know, they can make it, or you know, we

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Speaker 1: can have somebody else make it. But you know, so far,

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Speaker 1: so good. No, that's great with us, And maybe I

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Speaker 1: would make a different decision if the burden fell more

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Speaker 1: on me. But I do make the lunches for Monday

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Speaker 1: because it's too hectic. But otherwise our nanny just usually

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Speaker 1: throws leftovers in like kind of the night before and

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Speaker 1: so it's already or a sandwich or something, and we

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Speaker 1: do pack ice packs. I have not gotten complaints about

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Speaker 1: you know, eating like cold pizza. Yet maybe they're coming.

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00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:04,800
Speaker 1: I don't know, it could be coming. It's like, wait,

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Speaker 1: the school has hot pizza and here I have my

403
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Speaker 1: cold pizza. What's going on? And we get we get

404
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Speaker 1: around the complaints by you know, we let them pick

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Speaker 1: out snacks that they like, so I think they feel like, Okay,

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00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:18,040
Speaker 1: at least I'm getting something out of this situation. If

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Speaker 1: that kid gets to pick out chips and the cfeteria,

408
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:22,480
Speaker 1: I picked out my fruit snacks that I got it

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00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:25,720
Speaker 1: Trader Joe's or whatever, it is exactly all right. Let's

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Speaker 1: talk about homework, because I know that we hear about

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Speaker 1: this a lot from listeners too, so which you actually

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Speaker 1: are dealing with us despite your oldest child being not

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Speaker 1: yet seven. Yeah, well, yeah, they had homework in kindergarten.

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Speaker 1: They actually have less homework at the new school than

415
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Speaker 1: the old school, but they still actually significantly less homework,

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00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:47,159
Speaker 1: so I should probably complain less. But there does I mean,

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Speaker 1: there's still some significant parent involvement required. And I don't

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Speaker 1: want to necessarily go into lots of details about my

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Speaker 1: children's academic stuff because I don't want them to be

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Speaker 1: mad at me. Later, but I will say I don't

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Speaker 1: feel like I can just be like it's your problem,

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Speaker 1: because number one, I think that the teacher would complain,

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Speaker 1: and number two, I feel like she needs a little

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Speaker 1: bit of guidance at this point. And maybe part of

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00:20:15,119 --> 00:20:17,440
Speaker 1: that is just transitioning schools. If you had one teacher

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00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:19,600
Speaker 1: that really trained you well in some things and not others,

427
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:22,639
Speaker 1: and any other kids maybe were you know, yelled at

428
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:25,200
Speaker 1: and I yelled at, but taught very firmly about capital

429
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:27,119
Speaker 1: letters and periods all year and you weren't and you

430
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:29,080
Speaker 1: need to catch up, then maybe you might need a

431
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:31,840
Speaker 1: little bit more attention. So well, it's interesting with that.

432
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:35,359
Speaker 1: I mean, so I switched schools a reasonable amount when

433
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:38,720
Speaker 1: I was growing up, and so I missed the whole

434
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:44,200
Speaker 1: thing of cursive. So we my dad did a visiting

435
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:47,280
Speaker 1: professorship in California in the fall when I was in

436
00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:50,760
Speaker 1: third grade, and so we went out there and that

437
00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:52,880
Speaker 1: class learned cursive in the spring. So I was there

438
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:55,280
Speaker 1: in the fall, and my third grade class back in

439
00:20:55,359 --> 00:20:56,960
Speaker 1: Raleig where we lived, so when we came back for

440
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,680
Speaker 1: the spring, they had done it in the fall, so

441
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:02,280
Speaker 1: I completely miss But I got to say honestly. So

442
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:05,000
Speaker 1: I taught it to myself, and I think my cursive

443
00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:08,240
Speaker 1: is way better than most people's because it wasn't forced

444
00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:10,119
Speaker 1: on me. I was just like, I'm going to learn this.

445
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:11,520
Speaker 1: I'm going to figure it out. So I'm going to

446
00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:15,520
Speaker 1: learning my my little loops and stuff, and you know,

447
00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:18,160
Speaker 1: so there's something to be said for catching up because

448
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:21,080
Speaker 1: you want to and figuring it out to see that's

449
00:21:21,119 --> 00:21:23,520
Speaker 1: totally cool. Well, you have much more homework experience than

450
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:25,040
Speaker 1: I do because your kids are much older and you've

451
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:28,040
Speaker 1: had many years to hone your techniques. My technique so well,

452
00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:29,679
Speaker 1: But I think the key thing is that it's not

453
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:36,760
Speaker 1: my techniques. This is one of those things where I

454
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:41,880
Speaker 1: generally my philosophy is is that the homework is for them,

455
00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:43,960
Speaker 1: and I know that's your philosophy too. It's just you know,

456
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:45,800
Speaker 1: you're going through a bit of a transition with this.

457
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:49,320
Speaker 1: But like I already did sixth grade, Like I'm cool,

458
00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:51,840
Speaker 1: I don't I don't need to do this stuff again.

459
00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:55,040
Speaker 1: And so if I need to help a lot, it

460
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:58,439
Speaker 1: means there's something that's inappropriate for their grade level or

461
00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:00,399
Speaker 1: level of whatever. And then we've got a different and

462
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:02,320
Speaker 1: that you know, may need to be addressed in a

463
00:22:02,359 --> 00:22:05,320
Speaker 1: different way. And also just because you know kids like anyone,

464
00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:07,480
Speaker 1: it's it's easy to be lazy about stuff, like you're

465
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:09,520
Speaker 1: coming to me, like, mom, what's six times eight? Like, well,

466
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:11,560
Speaker 1: why are you asking me this? Like are you not

467
00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:14,760
Speaker 1: capable of like counting it out or like figuring out

468
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:17,639
Speaker 1: jaw picture, Yeah, jaw picture. Like I don't need to

469
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:19,679
Speaker 1: tell you what six times eight is. If you can't remember,

470
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:21,040
Speaker 1: go figure it out, like I mean, if you were

471
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:23,000
Speaker 1: truly stumped, like you've been working on something for a while,

472
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:26,560
Speaker 1: then come talk to me. But you know, probably not.

473
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:30,639
Speaker 1: So my two elementary school kids have weekly assignments and

474
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:33,720
Speaker 1: it is so interesting to see their personality differences. So

475
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:36,720
Speaker 1: Ruth does it the day it is a signed like

476
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:40,080
Speaker 1: she comes home, she she's at the kitchen table getting

477
00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:44,480
Speaker 1: through it. Uh, you know, it's it's done without anyone asking.

478
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:49,399
Speaker 1: Sam has it's due Friday, and he's usually is a

479
00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:50,800
Speaker 1: two night thing because there's one thing that has to

480
00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:52,920
Speaker 1: be done twice, like two nights. So he will never

481
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:55,119
Speaker 1: do it before Wednesday. I mean, it's it's Wednesday and

482
00:22:55,119 --> 00:22:59,240
Speaker 1: Thursday and then and then it's done. And you know

483
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:02,040
Speaker 1: he he doesn't really care too much about it. I

484
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:04,520
Speaker 1: think he feels like it's you know, I don't know,

485
00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:09,040
Speaker 1: But so that's them. Jasper has more homework, obviously in

486
00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:11,360
Speaker 1: sixth grade, it's starting to get a little bit more serious,

487
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:16,000
Speaker 1: but they actually have an end of the day homeroom

488
00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:20,359
Speaker 1: kind of thing, so he can do the vast majority

489
00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:23,000
Speaker 1: of it in the thirty five minutes he has for

490
00:23:23,119 --> 00:23:26,320
Speaker 1: his home room at the end of the day. That's impressible. Yeah,

491
00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:28,359
Speaker 1: so it's not that he has none, but if he

492
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:31,080
Speaker 1: has like forty five minutes a night, then thirty five

493
00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:32,840
Speaker 1: of it's done in school and then he's just got

494
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:35,439
Speaker 1: ten minutes to deal with. And so he's been pretty

495
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:38,800
Speaker 1: good about that. And I kind of want to leave

496
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:40,520
Speaker 1: it up to them because, like, you know, I'm the

497
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:42,480
Speaker 1: kind of person who, like Ruth, would do it the

498
00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:44,960
Speaker 1: first day, but it doesn't have to be done the

499
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:47,520
Speaker 1: first day. And you know, if you want to do

500
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:52,000
Speaker 1: it differently, that's kind of your choice. It is your choice,

501
00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:56,080
Speaker 1: and it's about them learning to manage their workload. My

502
00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:59,119
Speaker 1: only critique is that I often hear advice like this

503
00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:02,760
Speaker 1: on podcasts, but then it's always like and this is

504
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:05,159
Speaker 1: not how do I put this, then it's always like,

505
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:08,000
Speaker 1: oh and somehow they're getting straight a's, and so my

506
00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:11,640
Speaker 1: way works. So I guess my only caveat is might

507
00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:15,120
Speaker 1: be what if your nine year old just stopped doing

508
00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:17,200
Speaker 1: his homework and then could you be so hands off?

509
00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:19,240
Speaker 1: Or if he did like the world's worst job and

510
00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:22,439
Speaker 1: his teacher was like, yeah, he's clearly spending five minutes,

511
00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:25,080
Speaker 1: and I want more, because sometimes I feel like homework

512
00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:28,199
Speaker 1: tips it's like the people who don't have issues with

513
00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:30,680
Speaker 1: it are and now I'm sort of seeing both sides

514
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:35,439
Speaker 1: already so incredibly young that I begin to wonder. I

515
00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:38,440
Speaker 1: would say, like, again, you know, we've talked about the

516
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:43,880
Speaker 1: kid privacy issues. Not everyone is doing fantastically and everything.

517
00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:47,159
Speaker 1: You know, it's I think there's a minimum bar that

518
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:49,879
Speaker 1: has definitely been cleared, but you know, it's it's not

519
00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:52,760
Speaker 1: hundreds on everything all ye, And I think I think

520
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:54,399
Speaker 1: that's great to hear. And you know what, you have

521
00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:57,399
Speaker 1: enough kids that you can have some anonymous antony well

522
00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:00,000
Speaker 1: and outside. I mean, I think, you know, and I'm

523
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:01,560
Speaker 1: may change when we get to high school, when I

524
00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:03,840
Speaker 1: think it more matters, because I think there's the whole

525
00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:07,160
Speaker 1: college application process, which is I mean, a whole lot

526
00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:10,439
Speaker 1: less forgiving than when we were in school. And I

527
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:14,040
Speaker 1: mean I say this as someone who got a C

528
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:18,080
Speaker 1: in high school on something and got into Princeton, and

529
00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:21,680
Speaker 1: I just don't think that would happen now. I feel

530
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:23,480
Speaker 1: like that would be a lot harder for that to

531
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:28,359
Speaker 1: pull off. So, you know, I think there might be

532
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:30,400
Speaker 1: more serious talks about but sort of what I view

533
00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:34,320
Speaker 1: elementary school in middle school as about then is they're

534
00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:37,879
Speaker 1: learning to do that and hopefully coming to the realization

535
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:41,240
Speaker 1: themselves of what they need to do. Like I feel,

536
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:45,440
Speaker 1: if I'm just sort of gauging kid personalities, if I'm

537
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:50,880
Speaker 1: pushing too hard, it backfires completely, And no, I could

538
00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:53,720
Speaker 1: totally see that, and maybe giving them room to struggle

539
00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:55,959
Speaker 1: a little bit will actually teach them from some valuable

540
00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:57,760
Speaker 1: lessons that might come in hand you when the stakes

541
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:01,120
Speaker 1: are high. I think that's yeah, I think that's valuable. So, yeah,

542
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:03,080
Speaker 1: if we learned to manage your time in sixth seventh

543
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:06,040
Speaker 1: eighth grade, as it's suddenly harder than by ninth grade,

544
00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:07,720
Speaker 1: you've got a bit more of that in place and

545
00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:12,200
Speaker 1: you can make it work, hopefully. So all right, clothes,

546
00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:15,480
Speaker 1: let's talk about clothes. How do you keep your children

547
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:21,440
Speaker 1: clothed and shod I don't think that was on my list. Well,

548
00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:26,800
Speaker 1: I don't do that much. Yeah, I just kind of

549
00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:29,640
Speaker 1: I'm pretty freestyle about it. When it seems like somebody's

550
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:33,320
Speaker 1: clothes are getting pretty ready, then I tend to buy more. Oh,

551
00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:35,400
Speaker 1: what we do in the morning, so our new things

552
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:37,719
Speaker 1: that we pick, we do pick the kids close out

553
00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:40,480
Speaker 1: the night before because the new school starts earlier, and

554
00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:42,600
Speaker 1: we're in this big rush. And actually I've gone a

555
00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:45,280
Speaker 1: step further and I put the clothes downstairs. There's not

556
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:47,119
Speaker 1: even that barrier of having to go up because their

557
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:49,800
Speaker 1: rooms are upstairs, but like everything to get ready is downstairs,

558
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:53,800
Speaker 1: and so they're like brushing their teeth downstairs. Yes, yeah, yeah, yep,

559
00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:56,119
Speaker 1: there's a downstairs bathroom that's big enough. When we realized,

560
00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:57,760
Speaker 1: you know what, we got to remove all barriers and

561
00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:00,080
Speaker 1: the worst was like it'd be seven twenty seven and

562
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:01,760
Speaker 1: they still need to go back up. So it was like, no,

563
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:05,679
Speaker 1: move everything downstairs next to the door. Whatever helps to

564
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:09,359
Speaker 1: like lessen the friction on the way out the door

565
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:12,160
Speaker 1: makes our lives better. So then they just is there

566
00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:14,160
Speaker 1: like a bin where they put their pajamas or something

567
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:16,440
Speaker 1: that they're changing downstairs, Like how I hate to wind

568
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:20,400
Speaker 1: up back over. The laundry room is downstairs, so it's

569
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:22,520
Speaker 1: actually a pretty natural even if they throw their clothes

570
00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:24,160
Speaker 1: on the floor right next to the laundry room, that's

571
00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:26,600
Speaker 1: closer than if it's in their hamper upstairs. So okay,

572
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:29,240
Speaker 1: there you go. But no, the downstairs closed has been

573
00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:31,680
Speaker 1: a game changer. That's interesting. Yeah, and then so put

574
00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:35,960
Speaker 1: toothbrushes and toothpaste in a like downstairs powder room, they

575
00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:39,239
Speaker 1: can they can get real interesting. Yeah, what about you

576
00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:41,040
Speaker 1: and what closed systems were you talking about? Were you

577
00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:43,440
Speaker 1: talking more about like keeping the right sizes? Yeah? Yeah,

578
00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:45,840
Speaker 1: So I mean obviously you know I have I have

579
00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:51,359
Speaker 1: three boys, and so they've the hand me down system

580
00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:57,920
Speaker 1: is fairly developed. So the key question is whether the

581
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:02,840
Speaker 1: oldest has clothes that fit him, and then when those

582
00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:06,520
Speaker 1: have been outgrown, they go into a box that generally

583
00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:09,679
Speaker 1: goes in a rather big closet that is in the

584
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:14,840
Speaker 1: room where Sam and Alex's stuff is, which Sam, poor Sam,

585
00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:17,720
Speaker 1: He's theoretically that's the room he's supposed to sleep in,

586
00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:19,639
Speaker 1: but Alex is still like waking up at five am

587
00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:21,679
Speaker 1: and like will wake up and like punch Sam. So

588
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:24,520
Speaker 1: Sam's still in the room with Jasper. It's just you know, anyways,

589
00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:28,040
Speaker 1: but his clothes are with Alex, so he that they're

590
00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:31,000
Speaker 1: all in that closet. We've just got boxes of boys

591
00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:36,880
Speaker 1: clothes like labeled six five, four T and so now

592
00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:38,840
Speaker 1: we're going through the four T with Alex. This is

593
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:41,000
Speaker 1: stuff that has been put away from both Jasper and

594
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:44,600
Speaker 1: Sam and you know, again three active boys. Like some

595
00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:48,080
Speaker 1: of it has to be prematurely retired. There's no way

596
00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:50,880
Speaker 1: that everything makes it, no no way that everything in

597
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:56,320
Speaker 1: the knees and like you know, permanent paint marks and yeah, exactly.

598
00:28:57,080 --> 00:29:00,640
Speaker 1: So so stuff has been retired, thrown away. And it's

599
00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:02,440
Speaker 1: not like they never get new clothes. I mean, because

600
00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:05,960
Speaker 1: they do. But but then our first thing is always like, okay,

601
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:10,560
Speaker 1: well here's a whole box of size youth, medium shirts

602
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:13,640
Speaker 1: or any of these of interest to you, and they

603
00:29:13,640 --> 00:29:16,200
Speaker 1: can shop there. And then if you know, we need

604
00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:18,840
Speaker 1: more stuff because they want something related to like Minecraft

605
00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:21,160
Speaker 1: or the Philadelphia Eagles or whatever, then that's like you know,

606
00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:24,360
Speaker 1: birthday gifts and stuff like that. So plus things like

607
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:27,080
Speaker 1: formal stuff. You know that stuff barely gets worn and

608
00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:29,040
Speaker 1: it is more expensive, so it definitely makes sense to

609
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:31,200
Speaker 1: save it. Although I feel like we've still not managed

610
00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:33,440
Speaker 1: to have a good system for like little boys dress shoes.

611
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:36,840
Speaker 1: I know, I have various sizes of little boys dress shoes,

612
00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:38,640
Speaker 1: but I feel like they've been lost somewhere because they

613
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:40,680
Speaker 1: get worn once and then stuff somewhere and I so,

614
00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 1: like I said, the system is not perfect. But it's

615
00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:44,840
Speaker 1: kind of fun too, because I've seen like the same

616
00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:47,240
Speaker 1: shirt on three boys and you know, and then like,

617
00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:50,080
Speaker 1: oh look, I remember when they wore that, And then

618
00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:53,200
Speaker 1: you know, Ruth being the only girl, like most of

619
00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:56,360
Speaker 1: her stuff is then either new or hand me downs

620
00:29:56,400 --> 00:30:01,120
Speaker 1: from some older girl cousins that she's gone through. You know,

621
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:03,640
Speaker 1: I think I enjoy shopping for kids clothes too much

622
00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:05,920
Speaker 1: for to ever really need a system because of anything,

623
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:08,960
Speaker 1: I usually have a surplus. But did you put anything

624
00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:11,320
Speaker 1: away from Annibal? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I put like

625
00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:14,080
Speaker 1: my favorite stuff absolutely, and actually some of it I

626
00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:16,000
Speaker 1: gave away to friends and then I ended up getting

627
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:17,720
Speaker 1: it back, which was great because you know, we didn't

628
00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:21,080
Speaker 1: always plan on Jenavie. Yeah, we'll getting dressed though in

629
00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:25,440
Speaker 1: the morning. I so their bedrooms are upstairs, but in

630
00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:27,680
Speaker 1: our school starts late enough, I guess that there seems

631
00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:30,400
Speaker 1: to be enough time to go up and get dressed.

632
00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:33,400
Speaker 1: And for whatever reason, this just has not been a

633
00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:38,000
Speaker 1: huge source of resistance or anything for us. So the

634
00:30:38,080 --> 00:30:41,440
Speaker 1: kids go up and they choose their clothes. Not that

635
00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:43,240
Speaker 1: I mean the four year old has help getting dressed,

636
00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:46,920
Speaker 1: but he can choose his own shirts. He is in

637
00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:49,840
Speaker 1: the closet. There's a low rack and there's all his

638
00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:52,840
Speaker 1: shirts on that, so he can go and choose a

639
00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:58,000
Speaker 1: shirt based on that stuff. But yeah, No, they choose

640
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:01,200
Speaker 1: their outfits. And I guess my feeling about clothes outfits,

641
00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:04,440
Speaker 1: it's I control what comes into the house, and then

642
00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:07,200
Speaker 1: once it's in the house, it's it's their choice what

643
00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:09,120
Speaker 1: they want to wear, and it's it's kind of fun

644
00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:11,080
Speaker 1: to see the outfits that come together. I mean, Ruth

645
00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:14,480
Speaker 1: has oh yeah, ez, miss like I keep reading in

646
00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:17,160
Speaker 1: fashion magazines that the mixed pattern thing is in so

647
00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:19,640
Speaker 1: clearly she's just more with it than I am, Like, WHOA,

648
00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:22,959
Speaker 1: that's a b's way out of it, But that's that's awesome.

649
00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:25,320
Speaker 1: Annabell is the same way. She will lay her like

650
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:28,000
Speaker 1: pattern leggings and then long socks over the leggings and

651
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:29,920
Speaker 1: like some random mini ski it's like, but I agree,

652
00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:31,680
Speaker 1: if I control the pieces that are there, the end

653
00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:34,120
Speaker 1: product usually turns out okay, even if it's a little nuts,

654
00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:38,160
Speaker 1: I'm fine with it. Yeah. Yeah, And I again of

655
00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:40,720
Speaker 1: the big kids, like two of three brush their teeth

656
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:44,040
Speaker 1: without being asked and one must one must be asked constantly.

657
00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:48,040
Speaker 1: So that's just again, you know, if if you set

658
00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:50,120
Speaker 1: the goal as they do it without being asked. Unfortunately,

659
00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:52,480
Speaker 1: that bar may never be cleared and who knows what

660
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:55,880
Speaker 1: will come of that. But uh, you know, it's well

661
00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:59,080
Speaker 1: speaking of the morning rush, and I think that actually,

662
00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:01,400
Speaker 1: like our routine change so much, and that's why we

663
00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:03,400
Speaker 1: have a morning rush because it used to be much

664
00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:06,320
Speaker 1: more leisurely because we were leaving at like eight ten,

665
00:32:06,360 --> 00:32:07,880
Speaker 1: and now we have to leave it like seven thirty

666
00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:11,360
Speaker 1: of the kids, so it's a big different difference. Is

667
00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:13,080
Speaker 1: I think we were going to both quickly do our

668
00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:17,880
Speaker 1: morning routine right? Sure? Yeah. So my current one is

669
00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:21,040
Speaker 1: kind of I get up like four forty five, which

670
00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:23,280
Speaker 1: is because I've kind of got work backwards and figured

671
00:32:23,280 --> 00:32:25,480
Speaker 1: out exactly how much time I need to make things

672
00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:27,160
Speaker 1: not be insane. And it turns out to see that

673
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:30,000
Speaker 1: ridiculously early. But you're going to bed at nine thirty,

674
00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:33,480
Speaker 1: bet at like nine thirty exactly, so it's not ridiculous.

675
00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:36,800
Speaker 1: It's like seven point two five hours then. And sometimes

676
00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:38,880
Speaker 1: like if I stay up later, it's not one hundred

677
00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:40,800
Speaker 1: percent of the time. And if I'm off on a day,

678
00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:42,560
Speaker 1: I might not get up that early. But it's just

679
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:44,880
Speaker 1: sort of my like default weekday time unless I've something

680
00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:48,280
Speaker 1: else going on. And then I already have my coffee ready,

681
00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:51,960
Speaker 1: which is amazing, like yes, like it makes it yelp,

682
00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:55,040
Speaker 1: and so it's yeah, like I put I put everything,

683
00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:56,840
Speaker 1: you know, the night before, like that's you know, it

684
00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:59,320
Speaker 1: takes two minutes and it pays off such dividends because

685
00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:02,040
Speaker 1: I love but just you don't even have to press

686
00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:04,280
Speaker 1: anything in the morning, like it's timer's automatic. It's not

687
00:33:04,320 --> 00:33:06,640
Speaker 1: a timer. It's not a timer. Yeah, So I come

688
00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:10,920
Speaker 1: get my freshly brewed coffee, and then usually I will

689
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:14,360
Speaker 1: like quickly check email and put out any fires. Usually

690
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:16,480
Speaker 1: there's not fires in my email, but you know, I

691
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:18,040
Speaker 1: just want to see what's there. I can't deal with

692
00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:19,600
Speaker 1: they'll like not checking it all because and I'll just

693
00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:21,920
Speaker 1: wonder what's in there and then usually I read a

694
00:33:21,920 --> 00:33:23,960
Speaker 1: block post or do podcast prep or sometimes if like

695
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:26,120
Speaker 1: I have a pressing work, presentation or project, I'll do that,

696
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:28,680
Speaker 1: or like for when we're doing residency interviews, I use

697
00:33:28,720 --> 00:33:32,280
Speaker 1: that time to cram my applicants of the day, and

698
00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:34,640
Speaker 1: then I usually try to start working out by like

699
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:36,720
Speaker 1: five forty five or five fifty, and then I'm done

700
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:39,959
Speaker 1: at like six twenty six thirty, and then I can

701
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:42,160
Speaker 1: quickly sneak in a shower kind of prep the kid's

702
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:44,800
Speaker 1: breakfast a little bit, and then Genevieve, thankfully has been

703
00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:48,960
Speaker 1: waking up a little bit better lately, around six thirty

704
00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:52,880
Speaker 1: six forty and I feed her and then the big

705
00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:54,840
Speaker 1: kids and I usually have to get the big kids

706
00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:56,280
Speaker 1: up and I'm like, get out of bed it right

707
00:33:56,320 --> 00:33:59,240
Speaker 1: around seven. Again, their clothes are already downstairs, so there's

708
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:01,680
Speaker 1: very little like friction. It's like, okay, come on down.

709
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:04,400
Speaker 1: They come down. They usually complain about whatever breakfast I

710
00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:07,880
Speaker 1: put on the table, but then they like what is bread? Oh,

711
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:10,160
Speaker 1: it's like what they like, Like it's like their cereal

712
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:12,640
Speaker 1: that they like, or it's like their yogurts and bagel

713
00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:14,920
Speaker 1: and cream cheese or fruit. I do actually want to

714
00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:17,040
Speaker 1: throw some more things into rotation, like sometimes I do

715
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:19,680
Speaker 1: eggs and they like that. And I do think if

716
00:34:19,719 --> 00:34:22,320
Speaker 1: I occasionally whip up like a fruit smoothie, they probably

717
00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:24,920
Speaker 1: would think that was like amazing. Actually, so I'm trying

718
00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:27,120
Speaker 1: to I'm going to work on diversifying a little bit.

719
00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:29,160
Speaker 1: But no, I don't like try to give them like

720
00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:31,440
Speaker 1: kale and sweet potatoes. It's like what it's like a

721
00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:33,360
Speaker 1: cinnamon Mary's and bagel with cream cheese, and like a

722
00:34:33,440 --> 00:34:36,879
Speaker 1: kid's yogurt and banana, like nothing crazy, but they still

723
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:39,279
Speaker 1: often will complain or it is like Cameron's, like I

724
00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:46,799
Speaker 1: wanted the orange cups, but anyway, we survived breakfast. And

725
00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:49,480
Speaker 1: then I have been alternating and taking Cameron and Annabelle,

726
00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:53,279
Speaker 1: and I think I mentioned on a prior podcast that

727
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:56,360
Speaker 1: Annabell's school now has this massive carpool line. So the

728
00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:58,200
Speaker 1: time dividend I thought I would be getting was getting

729
00:34:58,200 --> 00:35:01,600
Speaker 1: eaten by that. And then some people suggested like walking instead,

730
00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:03,320
Speaker 1: and I've sort of split the difference because if you

731
00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:05,040
Speaker 1: walk all the way it would take forever. But there's

732
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:08,680
Speaker 1: a playground that is sort of halfway there that avoids

733
00:35:08,719 --> 00:35:11,359
Speaker 1: the entire lines we park there. I walk with her.

734
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:13,759
Speaker 1: It takes like ten twelve minutes, and she always like

735
00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:16,040
Speaker 1: it's like a nice time and the weather's really nice

736
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:20,560
Speaker 1: this time of year. Sorry Northerners. And then I walk

737
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:22,480
Speaker 1: back to the car, so I've gotten like extra steps

738
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:25,400
Speaker 1: and a little fresh air and yeah, I like it.

739
00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:27,120
Speaker 1: And the days I drop off Cameron and it's super

740
00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:28,800
Speaker 1: quick because his school is like just right on the

741
00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:31,160
Speaker 1: way to work. Yeah, yeah, that's good that you've made

742
00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:35,760
Speaker 1: that work. Then with that, no, our mornings are start

743
00:35:35,760 --> 00:35:39,160
Speaker 1: a little later for me because I don't know, I've

744
00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:41,680
Speaker 1: been having a really hard time going to bed before midnight.

745
00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:44,960
Speaker 1: It's I don't know what's going on. But anyway, I

746
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:47,759
Speaker 1: set my alarm for around six forty five, maybe six

747
00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:49,840
Speaker 1: fifty two if it's been a later this night. But

748
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:53,480
Speaker 1: that's like the latest I can go. I wake up

749
00:35:53,520 --> 00:35:57,880
Speaker 1: and I shower, I wait, go downstairs, make coffee. I

750
00:35:57,880 --> 00:35:59,759
Speaker 1: haven't figured out any time or systems. I don't think

751
00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:01,880
Speaker 1: our coffee maker has a time, or maybe I need

752
00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:05,640
Speaker 1: to get one. I wake Jasper up around seven fifteen,

753
00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:09,400
Speaker 1: So basically seven fifteen to eight o'clock is sort of

754
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:13,719
Speaker 1: a rolling breakfast phenomenon in my house. You know that

755
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:16,560
Speaker 1: as people come down, they get breakfast and and you know,

756
00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:20,120
Speaker 1: it's nothing again elaborate. We sometimes we'll make pancakes or

757
00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:22,280
Speaker 1: waffles if we feel like we have a little extra time,

758
00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:25,560
Speaker 1: but it's often you know, it's bagels or cereal or toast.

759
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:27,880
Speaker 1: That's impressive. The only waffles I've ever whipped up on

760
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:30,239
Speaker 1: a weekday or toaster waffles. Yeah, it tends not to

761
00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:32,279
Speaker 1: happen unless somebody's gotten up early to do it, because

762
00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:34,879
Speaker 1: it takes a long time. It's like a thirty forty

763
00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:39,800
Speaker 1: minute process. By the time you're done, and the you know, eggs.

764
00:36:40,239 --> 00:36:42,080
Speaker 1: My husband and I usually eat eggs, so if he's home,

765
00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:45,200
Speaker 1: we usually both have that sort of seven fifteen to

766
00:36:45,239 --> 00:36:48,359
Speaker 1: eight o'clock, getting all the kids in and talking with them,

767
00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:51,680
Speaker 1: sitting at the table, so jazz breads first. Then he

768
00:36:51,719 --> 00:36:55,120
Speaker 1: goes up and gets dressed the kids. I should add

769
00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:58,360
Speaker 1: they bathe now on a schedule of Monday, Wednesday and

770
00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:01,680
Speaker 1: Friday nights. We just instituted that as like the three

771
00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:03,640
Speaker 1: days it would happen, so that you know, it's not

772
00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:05,600
Speaker 1: constantly because tonight about that, I don't know, did you

773
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:07,200
Speaker 1: have a bath last night? I guess you don't need one.

774
00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:11,960
Speaker 1: You need shower. I don't know, though Jasper is old

775
00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:16,520
Speaker 1: enough that he now showers of his own volition every day.

776
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:19,719
Speaker 1: That was an interesting thing when that happened. Well, it

777
00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:22,399
Speaker 1: probably coincided nicely with the need to shower every day. Yeah,

778
00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:24,440
Speaker 1: I know. I think when you have the trouble is

779
00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:27,480
Speaker 1: when they don't coincide, and like you're trying to convince

780
00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:31,440
Speaker 1: somebody who could in fact shower daily that they should.

781
00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:35,640
Speaker 1: But no, he definitely got ahead of that to curve

782
00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:37,759
Speaker 1: in terms of when he needed to start doing that.

783
00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:42,520
Speaker 1: They I mean four year old, well old, he is

784
00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:44,239
Speaker 1: off and up at like five thirty and we just

785
00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:46,000
Speaker 1: put him in front of YouTube for an hour until

786
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:49,080
Speaker 1: everyone else is moving, and that seems to be fine.

787
00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:53,040
Speaker 1: So the Jasper we do the carpool for middle school

788
00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:57,120
Speaker 1: seven fifty. Either we're driving, our neighbors are driving. Get

789
00:37:57,120 --> 00:37:59,600
Speaker 1: the middle two kids on the bus at twenty five,

790
00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:01,920
Speaker 1: we start shoes on. It usually comes eight thirty two,

791
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:03,799
Speaker 1: but it could come as late as eight thirty five,

792
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:07,080
Speaker 1: or nanny takes the four year old to preschool at nine.

793
00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:09,200
Speaker 1: It's really like three minutes from our house. So my

794
00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:14,759
Speaker 1: workday starts at eight thirty five pretty much precisely every day,

795
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:17,239
Speaker 1: and I have this gap of eight ten to eight

796
00:38:17,320 --> 00:38:20,080
Speaker 1: fifteen that I could use for something like if I'm

797
00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:22,000
Speaker 1: coming back from the middle school, run it's like eight ten,

798
00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:25,440
Speaker 1: and then eight twenty five is when the bus thing starts,

799
00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:27,480
Speaker 1: so it's fifteen minutes. I can't use it. Well. I

800
00:38:27,560 --> 00:38:29,759
Speaker 1: usually just like answer an email or like do one

801
00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:32,719
Speaker 1: administrative task, and I need to figure out if there's

802
00:38:32,719 --> 00:38:36,400
Speaker 1: something awesome I should do with it. But at the moment, no,

803
00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:40,399
Speaker 1: you could run your mile run my I guess I could, yeah,

804
00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:42,560
Speaker 1: but I usually want to run more than that, so

805
00:38:42,719 --> 00:38:46,640
Speaker 1: it's yeah, it's usually not the time I have. And

806
00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:48,200
Speaker 1: if I need to run in the morning, I'll get

807
00:38:48,239 --> 00:38:50,440
Speaker 1: up earlier, so I'll set my alarm for six ten

808
00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:53,960
Speaker 1: or something and then run then. But yeah, no, it's

809
00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:56,759
Speaker 1: they're pretty good about getting themselves ready. We you know,

810
00:38:56,840 --> 00:38:58,600
Speaker 1: eight twenty five, I'm yelling at them to come get

811
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:01,680
Speaker 1: their shoes, and they do and then you know, shoes, coat, backpack,

812
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:06,319
Speaker 1: out the door. So pretty good. Oh my gosh, we're

813
00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:08,360
Speaker 1: already forty minutes in. We have many more. Maybe we

814
00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:11,000
Speaker 1: need to divide this into two halves. Yeah, well, I

815
00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:13,400
Speaker 1: think we've hit a lot of the main half stuff.

816
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:16,200
Speaker 1: I would say the laundry. You know, we're really struggling

817
00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:17,840
Speaker 1: with like getting the kids to put their stuff in

818
00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:20,480
Speaker 1: the hamper. Again, some of the kids are good at it,

819
00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:23,640
Speaker 1: some of it it's just never there. It'll be next

820
00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:26,279
Speaker 1: to the hamper, Like why, like was what was the

821
00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:29,760
Speaker 1: last foot problem that you couldn't like, you know, move

822
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:32,239
Speaker 1: it from next to the hamper on the floor to

823
00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:35,920
Speaker 1: in the hamper. But the kid's laundry gets done about

824
00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:38,920
Speaker 1: twice a week. Either my husband or I does our

825
00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:40,680
Speaker 1: own launch. You know, we do the two of our

826
00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:44,640
Speaker 1: laundry on the weekend. That's usually one one load. There's

827
00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:46,960
Speaker 1: either one to two loads of sheets or towels per week.

828
00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:49,759
Speaker 1: I struggle to understand like that. I know there are

829
00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:51,920
Speaker 1: people write me about there's like ten loads of laundry

830
00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:53,919
Speaker 1: per week in their household, and I still haven't figured

831
00:39:53,960 --> 00:39:58,000
Speaker 1: out what that all is. I don't know. I'm very spoiled.

832
00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:02,440
Speaker 1: I'm very spoiled. Our Nannita's all over our laundry, and

833
00:40:03,239 --> 00:40:04,839
Speaker 1: I don't know she might do tell leuch, she does

834
00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:07,760
Speaker 1: like a load a day, and you know the trade

835
00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:10,320
Speaker 1: off is like we're totally fine with her putting everything

836
00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:12,799
Speaker 1: in together. Like you know, if you're having all your

837
00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:14,359
Speaker 1: laundry done for you, you're not going to be picked

838
00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:17,839
Speaker 1: about it. You can do it yourself. So she may

839
00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:19,520
Speaker 1: do well, no, but she doesn't work on the weekend.

840
00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:21,600
Speaker 1: So I guess that, yeah, maybe five loades a week,

841
00:40:21,719 --> 00:40:25,120
Speaker 1: not seven, maybe six because maybe one extra sheets? Yeah no,

842
00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:27,879
Speaker 1: but but five, you know five, we probably hit five,

843
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:32,200
Speaker 1: but I mean it's ten would be I don't stand,

844
00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:35,440
Speaker 1: but I don't know. Maybe some people like excessively wash

845
00:40:35,480 --> 00:40:39,319
Speaker 1: their sheets, like every few days. We definitely don't quite

846
00:40:39,320 --> 00:40:42,000
Speaker 1: the life. If you have clean sheets daily, it's like

847
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:44,560
Speaker 1: living in a hotel or some and not even there

848
00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:46,840
Speaker 1: because they don't do it anymore. If you're staying well yeah,

849
00:40:46,920 --> 00:40:49,480
Speaker 1: well not very environmentally friendly. I mean to come on,

850
00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:55,280
Speaker 1: I yeah, one, oh, bedtime, let's just quick do bedtime

851
00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:59,000
Speaker 1: and then call it quits here. Yes, yeah. The so

852
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:02,040
Speaker 1: for your tends to go down between seven fifteen to

853
00:41:02,080 --> 00:41:04,799
Speaker 1: seven forty five during the week, and our nanny does

854
00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:07,200
Speaker 1: this probably like four nights a week, you know, Monday

855
00:41:07,239 --> 00:41:09,839
Speaker 1: through Thursday, and then I do usually the other three

856
00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:13,480
Speaker 1: nights or you know, four nights if he has not

857
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:15,719
Speaker 1: gone down between seven and fifteen and seven forty five

858
00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:17,839
Speaker 1: because I'm not going to keep her there past that.

859
00:41:18,560 --> 00:41:21,799
Speaker 1: The Ruth gets her stories between Somewhere between eight thirty

860
00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:23,640
Speaker 1: and eight forty five is when we start. We're done

861
00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:26,840
Speaker 1: by nine, and she's in bed. The boys are supposed

862
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:31,520
Speaker 1: to be in their room reading at nine o'clock. They're

863
00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:35,360
Speaker 1: very creative about getting out of this, but the theory

864
00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:37,040
Speaker 1: is that they're supposed to be in their rooms reading

865
00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:40,480
Speaker 1: at nine with lights out at ten, and then I

866
00:41:40,480 --> 00:41:42,640
Speaker 1: can use that time to read or to you know,

867
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:46,359
Speaker 1: work or whatever. If they're in their rooms, but they

868
00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:48,920
Speaker 1: come out, I don't know, And it's kind of Jasper

869
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:50,160
Speaker 1: wants to come talk to me. A lot of times

870
00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:51,719
Speaker 1: they wants to come have his talk, and it's kind

871
00:41:51,719 --> 00:41:53,960
Speaker 1: of cute, and I sort of don't want to completely

872
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:55,839
Speaker 1: cut that off, as it's a good time for him

873
00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:57,880
Speaker 1: to communicate with that that's when they want to talk,

874
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:00,600
Speaker 1: and they want to talk at it turn out the

875
00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:04,960
Speaker 1: lights at ten for them. But I am definitely the

876
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:08,840
Speaker 1: bedtime parent, which while I'm not one hundred percent thrilled about,

877
00:42:08,880 --> 00:42:12,360
Speaker 1: I also know that it just doesn't My husband is

878
00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:17,759
Speaker 1: a total pushover on bedtime and so I'll be He's like, yeah,

879
00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:19,600
Speaker 1: I'll put Alex to bed, and then you know, it's

880
00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:24,120
Speaker 1: like an hour later, there's still like stories, Okay, we

881
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:27,440
Speaker 1: have some parallel. It's like it comes from a very

882
00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:30,520
Speaker 1: good place. Like he wants to spend I mean on

883
00:42:30,560 --> 00:42:35,200
Speaker 1: a general week, I don't. I'm usually doing bedtime most

884
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:37,719
Speaker 1: of the time because he's just not home yet. I

885
00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:40,120
Speaker 1: mean maybe one day he'll come home at like seven thirty,

886
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:43,719
Speaker 1: but a lot of times it's later than that. So

887
00:42:45,600 --> 00:42:47,600
Speaker 1: even I thought the new job might be different, but

888
00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:50,160
Speaker 1: apparently maybe it's just well I think, you know, new

889
00:42:50,239 --> 00:42:52,800
Speaker 1: jobs don't change who the person is. So it turns

890
00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:55,160
Speaker 1: out that you do not become a drastically different person

891
00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:57,800
Speaker 1: when you start a new job or the job description.

892
00:42:57,880 --> 00:42:59,439
Speaker 1: It may just be. And the truth is I would

893
00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:01,840
Speaker 1: much rather have stay late and finish all of his

894
00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:03,800
Speaker 1: notes then tell me on Saturday that he needs to

895
00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:06,680
Speaker 1: spend six hours doing notes, because so in order to

896
00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:09,239
Speaker 1: protect our weekends that when we're not working, I'd rather

897
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:12,640
Speaker 1: him stay late. So anyway, I'm generally the weaknight bedtime parent,

898
00:43:12,719 --> 00:43:14,120
Speaker 1: but on the times that he is there, or like

899
00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:16,200
Speaker 1: if I'm sick and he happens to be home. Oh,

900
00:43:16,239 --> 00:43:20,040
Speaker 1: they'll be up real late because it's like Daddy Special

901
00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:22,239
Speaker 1: at that time, and it's just he does. Yeah, he's

902
00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:24,880
Speaker 1: not going to be strict about it, and that's okay,

903
00:43:25,640 --> 00:43:28,759
Speaker 1: but no, our routine is pretty is pretty straightforward. Right now.

904
00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:33,000
Speaker 1: I basically put Genevieve to bed around seven, seven fifteen,

905
00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:36,560
Speaker 1: I still nurture to sleep, and then usually I tell

906
00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:38,279
Speaker 1: the kids they have to clean up, and then once

907
00:43:38,320 --> 00:43:40,359
Speaker 1: they're done cleaning up, they can watch a TV show

908
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:42,479
Speaker 1: while I'm putting her to bed. And they've been pretty

909
00:43:42,480 --> 00:43:44,360
Speaker 1: good about that, and they kind of know under penalty

910
00:43:44,400 --> 00:43:47,120
Speaker 1: of you know, strict punishment if I ever get downstairs

911
00:43:47,120 --> 00:43:49,400
Speaker 1: and they didn't clean up and they're watching TV. Oh,

912
00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:52,000
Speaker 1: but so they're yeah, so they're pretty good about it.

913
00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:55,160
Speaker 1: And then at length and then often I eat dinner

914
00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:57,160
Speaker 1: in that little window while they're finishing a show after

915
00:43:57,200 --> 00:43:58,759
Speaker 1: I've put Genevieve to bed, because I don't want to

916
00:43:58,760 --> 00:44:01,000
Speaker 1: wait till like nine to eat because I'm dying. So

917
00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:04,560
Speaker 1: then at like seven forty five, their show is done

918
00:44:04,719 --> 00:44:06,959
Speaker 1: and then we just like hang out and we usually

919
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:10,160
Speaker 1: start the book reading process at around eight fifteen, and

920
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:12,840
Speaker 1: then I'd say they're in bed by eight thirty to

921
00:44:12,840 --> 00:44:14,680
Speaker 1: eight forty five. And since they share a room, it's

922
00:44:14,760 --> 00:44:17,040
Speaker 1: very streamlined. It's like both at once and we read

923
00:44:17,080 --> 00:44:20,160
Speaker 1: the same book and lately. Actually, last night was really

924
00:44:20,239 --> 00:44:23,000
Speaker 1: cute because now that Anabel can read, she'll like play

925
00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:25,200
Speaker 1: a part in the book, so you know, she'll she

926
00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:30,480
Speaker 1: was like a Meani Badillia last night night. Dramatic reading great, right, Yeah,

927
00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:33,719
Speaker 1: I find myself practicing. I've been reading the Magic Tree

928
00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:36,279
Speaker 1: House books with Ruth, and you know, we go through

929
00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:38,279
Speaker 1: a chapter a night, and I've you know, working on

930
00:44:38,320 --> 00:44:40,560
Speaker 1: my dramatic delivery. I try to do you know, I

931
00:44:41,640 --> 00:44:45,040
Speaker 1: figure it helps with voiceover stuff, I hear you. I

932
00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:46,320
Speaker 1: kind of try to make it as good of a

933
00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:48,759
Speaker 1: performance as I can because it makes it more interesting

934
00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:51,760
Speaker 1: and I feel like it holds their interest better. So yeah,

935
00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:53,600
Speaker 1: all right, well we got to get into this a

936
00:44:53,719 --> 00:44:57,160
Speaker 1: longer episode anyway. Yeah, and get done with this episode,

937
00:44:57,160 --> 00:44:58,600
Speaker 1: all right? Do you want me to read this real quick?

938
00:44:58,600 --> 00:45:01,040
Speaker 1: All right? So? Yeah, her Q and A from a

939
00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:03,240
Speaker 1: listener who has an eight month old and is wondering

940
00:45:03,280 --> 00:45:06,399
Speaker 1: about a side hustle. So she recently started a new

941
00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:10,000
Speaker 1: full time job after years as a freelancer. She's the

942
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:12,439
Speaker 1: mom of an eight year eight month old. She says,

943
00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:15,160
Speaker 1: I was hoping to find time for occasional freelancing on

944
00:45:15,239 --> 00:45:18,680
Speaker 1: the side, maybe even start a long dreamed of novel,

945
00:45:19,040 --> 00:45:21,399
Speaker 1: mostly for personal fulfillment, which is good because I don't

946
00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:23,120
Speaker 1: think you should ever write a novel thinking you're going

947
00:45:23,200 --> 00:45:26,360
Speaker 1: to get rich off of it, but that's a sideline anyway. However,

948
00:45:26,400 --> 00:45:28,560
Speaker 1: I'm finding it's almost impossible to carve out the time

949
00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:31,480
Speaker 1: and energy. Mornings before work aren't an option because my

950
00:45:31,520 --> 00:45:34,279
Speaker 1: baby is an extremely earsy early riser. Evenings don't work

951
00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:36,239
Speaker 1: because they don't have much energy left after getting the

952
00:45:36,239 --> 00:45:38,319
Speaker 1: baby to bed and cleaning up from dinner, and I

953
00:45:38,360 --> 00:45:40,560
Speaker 1: really just want to spend that time relaxing with my husband.

954
00:45:40,960 --> 00:45:43,560
Speaker 1: Saturdays we try to avoid chores and work and focus

955
00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:46,320
Speaker 1: on family time because they're Jewish, so they're observing the Sabbath,

956
00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:49,600
Speaker 1: and Sundays then are the big chores housework day because

957
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:52,160
Speaker 1: they haven't done it on Saturday, so me taking writing

958
00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:53,960
Speaker 1: time that day means a bigger share of housework and

959
00:45:54,080 --> 00:45:57,399
Speaker 1: child minding for my husband, which she says doesn't feel fair.

960
00:45:57,760 --> 00:45:59,640
Speaker 1: Is there something I'm missing or should I just give

961
00:45:59,719 --> 00:46:01,719
Speaker 1: up on doing writing projects on the side until my

962
00:46:01,800 --> 00:46:06,680
Speaker 1: kid is older? Well, what do you think? Well, part

963
00:46:06,719 --> 00:46:08,400
Speaker 1: of me just wants to say, like, and I just

964
00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:10,520
Speaker 1: wanted to use this phrase. Maybe slow your role, lady,

965
00:46:10,560 --> 00:46:13,160
Speaker 1: because you're only eight months into this and you've got

966
00:46:13,200 --> 00:46:15,759
Speaker 1: lots and lots of time, and everything's going to change

967
00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:17,680
Speaker 1: about your baby. You know, you say they are an

968
00:46:17,680 --> 00:46:19,800
Speaker 1: early riser now, but you never know in two weeks

969
00:46:19,840 --> 00:46:21,520
Speaker 1: they are not. Pattern may shift and they will not

970
00:46:21,560 --> 00:46:24,160
Speaker 1: be an early riser. So to some extent, I think

971
00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:27,160
Speaker 1: you have a little bit of time to just see

972
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:30,400
Speaker 1: how things unfold, rather than necessarily making you know a

973
00:46:30,440 --> 00:46:32,880
Speaker 1: tight plan right away. But that said, if you're feeling

974
00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:35,520
Speaker 1: a super burning passion, one way to do that might

975
00:46:35,640 --> 00:46:37,640
Speaker 1: be to extend your work day a couple of days

976
00:46:37,680 --> 00:46:40,879
Speaker 1: a week, so you either leave super early. I don't

977
00:46:40,880 --> 00:46:43,200
Speaker 1: know whether there's nursing that needs to be done in

978
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:45,480
Speaker 1: the early mornings, because you don't mention that, but if not,

979
00:46:45,880 --> 00:46:47,719
Speaker 1: then you could be gone and then your husband could

980
00:46:47,760 --> 00:46:50,560
Speaker 1: deal with the mornings. Maybe two week days out of

981
00:46:50,560 --> 00:46:54,759
Speaker 1: the five, and that seems like a reasonable exchange. If

982
00:46:54,800 --> 00:46:57,560
Speaker 1: that sounds good or fun to you, then go for it,

983
00:46:57,600 --> 00:47:00,279
Speaker 1: and if not, then maybe just think of about the

984
00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:02,399
Speaker 1: fact that this novel might be easier to fit into

985
00:47:02,400 --> 00:47:04,440
Speaker 1: your life in even just a few months, when the

986
00:47:04,480 --> 00:47:07,040
Speaker 1: baby's sleeping better, or when the nursing patterns change or

987
00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:10,319
Speaker 1: naps consolidate or whatever. I do feel like, you know,

988
00:47:10,520 --> 00:47:14,080
Speaker 1: when I was starting fresh into motherhood, everything felt very permanent.

989
00:47:14,960 --> 00:47:20,239
Speaker 1: But now that I recognize how quickly things change and

990
00:47:20,280 --> 00:47:25,120
Speaker 1: how just ephemeral some of these phases are, I think

991
00:47:25,160 --> 00:47:27,280
Speaker 1: that you may just want to give yourself some space

992
00:47:27,320 --> 00:47:29,799
Speaker 1: to see how things evolve. Yeah, I mean, certainly, if

993
00:47:29,840 --> 00:47:32,480
Speaker 1: you're starting a new job and you hadn't been doing

994
00:47:32,640 --> 00:47:34,799
Speaker 1: a full time job in the past, and you also

995
00:47:34,840 --> 00:47:37,120
Speaker 1: have added a baby into a mix, it definitely would

996
00:47:37,120 --> 00:47:39,719
Speaker 1: make sense that your time would feel more constrained for

997
00:47:40,080 --> 00:47:42,960
Speaker 1: you know, projects that are about personal passion as much

998
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:45,560
Speaker 1: as anything else. But again, I mean, if you want

999
00:47:45,560 --> 00:47:46,920
Speaker 1: to do it, you can totally do it. You can

1000
00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:48,759
Speaker 1: find the time, so you can either acknowledge that it's

1001
00:47:48,760 --> 00:47:50,960
Speaker 1: not a priority for you right now, which is totally cool,

1002
00:47:51,760 --> 00:47:54,680
Speaker 1: or you can say it is. I can't find twenty

1003
00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:57,120
Speaker 1: hours a week, but I bet I could find four,

1004
00:47:57,520 --> 00:47:59,560
Speaker 1: right So if that's your goal, like, yeah, you could

1005
00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:02,160
Speaker 1: find four or so maybe as as Sarah said, like

1006
00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:04,680
Speaker 1: two mornings a week your husband takes the early morning shift.

1007
00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:06,480
Speaker 1: As you said, that was your best time to sort

1008
00:48:06,480 --> 00:48:09,560
Speaker 1: of have the energy leave and go to a coffee

1009
00:48:09,560 --> 00:48:11,760
Speaker 1: shop for an hour to write, or go to library

1010
00:48:11,760 --> 00:48:13,560
Speaker 1: for an hour to write and then go to work.

1011
00:48:13,960 --> 00:48:16,240
Speaker 1: If you've got to a library with early hours, definitely

1012
00:48:16,280 --> 00:48:17,640
Speaker 1: get out of the house because if you're there, it's

1013
00:48:17,680 --> 00:48:19,959
Speaker 1: easy to become like the default parent and they're like, oh, well,

1014
00:48:20,080 --> 00:48:22,920
Speaker 1: you know, hey, where's his socks? You know, and then

1015
00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:25,800
Speaker 1: you're like I'm writing, Like, get away, I'm trying to write,

1016
00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:29,000
Speaker 1: Like no, so go somewhere else and write. So coffee

1017
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:33,080
Speaker 1: shop or a restaurant like a diner, library, or your

1018
00:48:33,080 --> 00:48:35,279
Speaker 1: office if it's quiet, if you can get away with that,

1019
00:48:35,960 --> 00:48:39,200
Speaker 1: and then on the weekends, I feel like this you know,

1020
00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:42,759
Speaker 1: all or nothing mindset is not really serving you. I mean,

1021
00:48:42,760 --> 00:48:45,520
Speaker 1: I obviously keeping the Sabbath is a different thing like that,

1022
00:48:45,800 --> 00:48:48,160
Speaker 1: there are rules you can't work on it, so that's

1023
00:48:48,400 --> 00:48:51,560
Speaker 1: not going to be an option. But if Sunday is

1024
00:48:52,200 --> 00:48:55,400
Speaker 1: your chores, like you're not spending sixteen hours on chores,

1025
00:48:55,440 --> 00:48:58,320
Speaker 1: I hope like you're wake for sixteen hours, Like, that's

1026
00:48:58,760 --> 00:49:01,600
Speaker 1: not there's time for books. So maybe you could reach

1027
00:49:01,640 --> 00:49:03,560
Speaker 1: an agreement with your husband that each of you gets

1028
00:49:03,600 --> 00:49:07,080
Speaker 1: two hours to do your own thing. I love that. Yeah, Like,

1029
00:49:07,120 --> 00:49:09,319
Speaker 1: and that still leaves you know, if you guys both

1030
00:49:09,360 --> 00:49:12,000
Speaker 1: then also devote like two hours to chores and you know,

1031
00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:14,839
Speaker 1: you do a family activity, like you've still gotten a

1032
00:49:14,880 --> 00:49:17,080
Speaker 1: fair amount of time and spent since you're spending all

1033
00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:19,319
Speaker 1: Saturday together as a family as well, Like it's it's

1034
00:49:19,320 --> 00:49:21,600
Speaker 1: not like you've lacked family time on the on the weekend.

1035
00:49:22,239 --> 00:49:24,440
Speaker 1: So yeah, like you get two hours on Sunday to write,

1036
00:49:24,960 --> 00:49:26,759
Speaker 1: sort of coordinate that with him. Each of you gets

1037
00:49:26,760 --> 00:49:29,200
Speaker 1: your time, So then you've done, you know, two hours

1038
00:49:29,280 --> 00:49:31,759
Speaker 1: during the week two hours on Sunday. And it may

1039
00:49:31,840 --> 00:49:34,080
Speaker 1: feel a little frustrating if you really are getting into

1040
00:49:34,080 --> 00:49:36,239
Speaker 1: things like to only have sort of four hours. But

1041
00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:38,560
Speaker 1: I've also found that when I get really into a

1042
00:49:38,560 --> 00:49:42,520
Speaker 1: writing project, I start magically finding more time. Like then

1043
00:49:42,560 --> 00:49:44,479
Speaker 1: you that's when you start like, oh, well I could

1044
00:49:44,480 --> 00:49:46,359
Speaker 1: go take a thirty minute lunch break, or I could

1045
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:49,200
Speaker 1: write on my novel, or you know, maybe I do

1046
00:49:49,239 --> 00:49:51,680
Speaker 1: feel energy to do this at night for forty five minutes,

1047
00:49:51,719 --> 00:49:53,840
Speaker 1: even though I'm tired because I'm so into my characters.

1048
00:49:53,920 --> 00:49:56,960
Speaker 1: So I think, you know, it's it's really more about

1049
00:49:56,960 --> 00:49:59,520
Speaker 1: getting started and sort of building in this space to

1050
00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:02,000
Speaker 1: do something that's important to you, and then over time

1051
00:50:02,040 --> 00:50:04,919
Speaker 1: they'll start to have its own momentum. Interesting, that's very

1052
00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:06,879
Speaker 1: similar parallel what happens when you have like a really

1053
00:50:06,880 --> 00:50:09,040
Speaker 1: good book going you know that you're reading. So I

1054
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:10,880
Speaker 1: guess I'd never thought of it in terms of creating

1055
00:50:10,880 --> 00:50:12,719
Speaker 1: one in the same thing. All right, real quick Love

1056
00:50:12,719 --> 00:50:15,960
Speaker 1: of the Week Sarah. Yeah, well, I thought this was

1057
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:18,319
Speaker 1: a nationwide chain, so I'm a little disappointed that it's not,

1058
00:50:18,520 --> 00:50:21,440
Speaker 1: because I'm like, this is not applied to tons of

1059
00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:24,480
Speaker 1: our listeners. But if you are in Florida, we discovered

1060
00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:27,400
Speaker 1: this place called Bowlet b O l A Y. And

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00:50:27,440 --> 00:50:29,560
Speaker 1: you know, maybe there are some national equivalents. You'll have

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00:50:29,600 --> 00:50:32,400
Speaker 1: to tell me, but it's like bowls and custom bowls,

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00:50:32,440 --> 00:50:34,440
Speaker 1: and they have like all these like healthy bases like

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00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:36,759
Speaker 1: kale and quenwab, but then also rice and some more

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00:50:36,840 --> 00:50:38,279
Speaker 1: kid friendly things and then you get to pick your

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00:50:38,320 --> 00:50:41,040
Speaker 1: veggies and you pick your sauce. And it was really

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00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:43,799
Speaker 1: fantastic and the kids even liked it, although I'm not

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00:50:43,840 --> 00:50:46,800
Speaker 1: sure like avocado and rice is the world's most balanced

1069
00:50:47,920 --> 00:50:50,760
Speaker 1: my choice avocado and rice, I'd be thrilled. So just okay,

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00:50:50,800 --> 00:50:54,160
Speaker 1: So there you go. You're avocado rice and gluten free

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00:50:54,200 --> 00:50:55,920
Speaker 1: cookies because that's the kind of cookies they had. But

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00:50:55,960 --> 00:50:57,879
Speaker 1: I almost wonder if they're not really gluten free because

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00:50:57,880 --> 00:51:00,399
Speaker 1: they were because they were good. Yes, it turns out

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00:51:00,400 --> 00:51:03,920
Speaker 1: gluten is often important and bake goods. So whatever they

1075
00:51:03,920 --> 00:51:06,080
Speaker 1: were using, I mean it was convincing because they were

1076
00:51:06,080 --> 00:51:09,239
Speaker 1: they were really good. So I've actually been my love

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00:51:09,280 --> 00:51:11,000
Speaker 1: of the week. This goes right in and I'm making

1078
00:51:11,080 --> 00:51:14,920
Speaker 1: my own avocado toast, not really that few. I cut

1079
00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:16,879
Speaker 1: up onions, and your red onions, if I have them,

1080
00:51:16,880 --> 00:51:18,839
Speaker 1: were just regular onions. If it don't, put a little

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00:51:18,920 --> 00:51:21,319
Speaker 1: lemon in it and salt and put it on a

1082
00:51:21,320 --> 00:51:23,960
Speaker 1: piece of interesting bread. If I have interesting bread, and

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00:51:24,440 --> 00:51:28,560
Speaker 1: that that's my lunch. So it sounds amazing, all right, Well,

1084
00:51:28,560 --> 00:51:30,839
Speaker 1: this is one upeteat everyone born. This has been an

1085
00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:33,920
Speaker 1: epic episode, Episode fifty two. We've been talking about our

1086
00:51:33,960 --> 00:51:36,600
Speaker 1: various home management systems. We'll be back next week with

1087
00:51:36,680 --> 00:51:42,440
Speaker 1: more on making work and life fit. Together. Thanks for listening.

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00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:45,759
Speaker 1: You can find me Sarah at the shoebox dot com

1089
00:51:45,880 --> 00:51:49,680
Speaker 1: or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, and you can

1090
00:51:49,680 --> 00:51:53,960
Speaker 1: find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This has

1091
00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:57,239
Speaker 1: been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please join us

1092
00:51:57,320 --> 00:52:00,680
Speaker 1: next time for more on making work and life work together.