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Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya ret An iHeartRadio podcast.

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Speaker 2: Hello everybody, We're scrubbing it.

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Speaker 1: Scrub a Dub dub, Happy Monday.

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Speaker 2: It's Monday Funday.

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Speaker 1: Beca and I lived opposite lives one day this week,

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Speaker 1: and it was very funny because it literally I lived

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Speaker 1: a Becca life for twelve hours and she lived a

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Speaker 1: Tanya life for twelve hours. And I have to tell you,

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Speaker 1: I felt like garbage.

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Speaker 2: Yeah you got. You gotta commit to it for a

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Speaker 2: few weeks. You won't kill back anymore with the garbage

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Speaker 2: eating and stuff. You gotta like It's like anything, you

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Speaker 2: have to commit for a few weeks before you start

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Speaker 2: feeling good.

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Speaker 1: So I went out to a birthday party and so

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Speaker 1: I was like out and they had raisin canes there

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Speaker 1: and so and reds are. I never had raisin canes,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, oh my gosh, this is Becca's

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Speaker 1: like favorite thing ever. You have to get the toast

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Speaker 1: blah bla blah blah. So we get it and I

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Speaker 1: ate it at like eleven o'clock at night or something,

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Speaker 1: and I just felt so awful. The next day. Becca

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Speaker 1: that morning had salmon and vegetables for dinner and woke

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Speaker 1: up early for a workout the next day.

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Speaker 3: Wow.

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Speaker 2: Well, so, so I've been working out and I'm doing

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Speaker 2: it in the morning because I've been doing it with

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Speaker 2: Ali and she has to do morning classes, and I

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Speaker 2: feel like a little I'm because of my competitive brain.

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Speaker 2: I do better if there's someone in there that I know,

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Speaker 2: so I can like kind of compete with them in

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Speaker 2: my head. She didn't know I'm doing that, and so

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Speaker 2: I and so Jojo was in town and she I

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Speaker 2: was telling her, like, Hey, do you want to do

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Speaker 2: this plates class with me? And I had invited Tanya.

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Speaker 2: I was like, We're gonna go at nine fifteen tomorrow.

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Speaker 2: Come like it'll you'll love it. So she's like, I'm

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Speaker 2: going to this party tonight and whatever, and so she

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Speaker 2: sent me. I woke up the next morning and I

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Speaker 2: had picked sure of them eating canes and I was like,

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Speaker 2: oh my gosh. And then she texted me She's like,

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Speaker 2: there's no way I'm going to make it to class.

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Speaker 2: I feel so sick. And I was like, we are

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Speaker 2: literally living parallel lives because we ate salmon and veggies

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Speaker 2: for dinner and we're going to hot pilates and you

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Speaker 2: ate canes last night and you're like, I need to

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Speaker 2: sleep in.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so it really was, uh what a life swap,

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Speaker 1: if you will. Yeah, But I do have to say

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Speaker 1: I couldn't like I had to get up and I

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Speaker 1: went on a run because I felt like such garbage.

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Speaker 1: I was like, I have to get my mental game

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Speaker 1: back on to like work, and so I just went

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Speaker 1: on a run and felt a little bit better. But

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Speaker 1: I gotta tell you, the Beca lifestyle does not suit me.

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Speaker 2: But the Becha life, Like that's all I've known my

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Speaker 2: whole entire life. Like I was raised. I mean, my

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Speaker 2: mom cooked, but I also we ate fast. We loved

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Speaker 2: fast food. It's like a very southern you know. That's

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Speaker 2: just how I grew up. So I've never had like

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Speaker 2: a a strict routine where I ate super healthier exercise

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Speaker 2: every day. You know. I just have always done my

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Speaker 2: own thing. And so but I will say, like I

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Speaker 2: have been trying to eat better just to have the

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Speaker 2: energy because I'm working out, and I am not like

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Speaker 2: craving the unhealthy food as much like we Jojo and

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Speaker 2: I went to stagecoach and I ate like pretty healthy

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Speaker 2: for being at like this country festival all weekend, and

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Speaker 2: I was proud of myself. Nice, I feel good. But

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Speaker 2: now that you brought up cane, that sounds really good

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Speaker 2: right now.

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Speaker 1: I do ever say those that chicken is like not

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Speaker 1: a lot of batter and very juicy and delicious. Like

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Speaker 1: I felt like it was like really great.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's really good. Everything. It's so simple. All they

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Speaker 2: offer is the same meal in different forms, which is

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Speaker 2: toast chicken, tenders, fries, and the sauce. The sauce really

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Speaker 2: makes it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, the sauce is good.

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Speaker 4: Healthy options at stagecoach. That surprises me that there are

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Speaker 4: healthy way no sorry.

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Speaker 2: So so yeah, we had a house and so we

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Speaker 2: and we didn't go till I mean, I don't know

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Speaker 2: how people rage for three days all day long, seriously,

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Speaker 2: because we and it was one hundred and three degrees

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Speaker 2: like it was so freaking hot, and we went I think,

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Speaker 2: uh Saturday, we laid by the pool day and we

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Speaker 2: ate like at the house and stuff, and then we

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Speaker 2: didn't go to the festival till I think six pm

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Speaker 2: as it cooled off. So and then we just we drank,

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Speaker 2: which I wish we had eaten a little something to

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Speaker 2: soak up the alcohol. But it is what it is.

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Speaker 2: And I was thinking to myself, and then we left

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Speaker 2: Sunday and I was thinking, how do people do this

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Speaker 2: for three days straight, all day drinking in that heat?

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Speaker 2: I don't know, youth, there's people not youth there.

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Speaker 1: Oh really yeah, I'm like I used to in college,

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Speaker 1: Like I could rage Thursday, Friday and Saturday night.

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Speaker 2: But it's the day, and it's the desert and the

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Speaker 2: dust and there's so many people. I was just like

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Speaker 2: blown away thinking about I mean, I've done it. I've

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Speaker 2: done three days of it, but half days and my feet, man,

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Speaker 2: there we've sprayed menthol pain reliever spray and it saved us.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. The the situation is pretty gnarly out there, and

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Speaker 1: those polo grounds or what are they pellow ground grounds

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Speaker 1: and gnarly.

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Speaker 2: Jojo had never been JoJo's ever been to Stage Coach

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Speaker 2: or Coachella, so she had no idea. And I was like,

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Speaker 2: I don't think you can grasp how much walking in

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Speaker 2: the dirt there is.

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Speaker 1: Like no matter how VIP you get, there's no nothing

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Speaker 1: will stop you from walking the walks. Nothing there's And.

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Speaker 2: The VIP at Stage Coach is right now, it's like

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Speaker 2: next to the stage, so it's as far up as

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Speaker 2: you can get, which is great once you get there,

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Speaker 2: but you are not cute, everybody says.

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Speaker 1: Everybody says, like, you know, the celebrities that go that

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Speaker 1: have like the artists risk bands, are like, oh, they

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Speaker 1: have artist risk bands. It's not hard. And I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I don't even I've never had an artist ors band,

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Speaker 1: but I'm pretty confident everybody has to walk that walk,

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Speaker 1: like the artists don't get to.

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Speaker 2: Just I think the artists like the actual passion.

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Speaker 1: But not people with artists wrist bands. They still got

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Speaker 1: to go through the same security.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it was.

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Speaker 1: It was and then they get to go into like

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Speaker 1: the front of the stage, but it's still a lot

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Speaker 1: of walking.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we got to It was fun. We we saw

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Speaker 2: I got to see Taylor Lawtner, I haven't seen him

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Speaker 2: in so long, and his fiance Taylor and Weird Yeah Taylor, Taylor,

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Speaker 2: Taylor the tailors. Yeah, and so yeah, that was really fun.

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Speaker 2: I'm trying to think we so we got to see

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Speaker 2: am I haven't seen Amanda. I just got to see

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Speaker 2: people because of the pandemic that I haven't seen in

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Speaker 2: so long, probably since the last stage coach. And it

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Speaker 2: was really fun to just like be in a you know,

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Speaker 2: big event like that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: And then I got back last night. I went to

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Speaker 2: Him the Him show at the Hollywood Bowl.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, I gotta give you some credit. You

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Speaker 1: have been social out and about. Like My weekend was

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Speaker 1: literally the opposite I have been. I've been working on

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Speaker 1: this project and my deadline was coming up, and I've

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Speaker 1: just been like in this haze, like I feel like

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Speaker 1: if I'm not working here, like I'm not doing Rady

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Speaker 1: or podcasts, I'm working on this project. So I feel

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Speaker 1: like I haven't been doing anything else. And so I

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Speaker 1: finished that this weekend and I just feel so good.

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Speaker 1: And I got a leak in my apartment, and so

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Speaker 1: now I'm beginning to think that there's some sort of

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Speaker 1: significance with water in my life, because everything in my

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Speaker 1: life has to do with leaks. And so I'm going

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Speaker 1: to start reading into that.

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Speaker 2: Well, don't read too much to it, just read enough

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Speaker 2: to be like that could be it. But don't don't

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Speaker 2: go off the deep end. Yeah like you tend to

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Speaker 2: do sometimes.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I do. But we had some family time and

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Speaker 1: hung off. My family and I had a cute, really

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Speaker 1: cute date night. We did have a cute date night.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, he put a lot more effort into the drawing.

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Speaker 2: And I would like to acknowledge this for Robbie because

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Speaker 2: he drew this like art piece on where were you all?

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Speaker 1: Restaurant? It's called Pacha and they have like brown they

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Speaker 1: have like brown what do you call that?

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Speaker 2: Like a construction paper.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's like you like lunch bag paper that

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Speaker 1: they put on the tables and they give you krans

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Speaker 1: so to me, yeah, to draw on the brown stuff.

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Speaker 1: And I actually remember it was one of our first dates.

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Speaker 1: We went there and he drew my name on like

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Speaker 1: a thing. I was like, that was cute, you know

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Speaker 1: he did like.

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Speaker 3: During dinner. I love it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I thought you were a macaroni grill because they.

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Speaker 1: He drew a whole thing. He drew like my name

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Speaker 1: and there was Halo's and then there was like a

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Speaker 1: rocket ship because he calls me like a rocket ship

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Speaker 1: that just is like gonna sore high. So he'd like

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Speaker 1: a rocket ship and he drew like butterflies in there,

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Speaker 1: and like it was very like beautiful.

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Speaker 2: So did you just last minute do your drawing? Okay,

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Speaker 2: I was gonna say this did not feel like the

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Speaker 2: same effort was put forth, which you know, I just

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Speaker 2: I figured there was a reason for it, and I

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Speaker 2: was like, maybe Tania last minute was like, I'm gonna,

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Speaker 2: you know, do something.

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Speaker 1: I thought it was so beautiful. So I took a

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Speaker 1: picture of his drawing, and then mine was blank in

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Speaker 1: front of me, So then I felt bad. So I

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Speaker 1: just drew like a heart with his name, and I

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Speaker 1: felt that.

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Speaker 2: I felt that rush. Yeah, I'm glad you' out of

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Speaker 2: date night. Those were good.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they're necessary, Yeah, they're very necessary. Yeah, but you

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Speaker 1: just wait. Now that mama's got some more time on

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Speaker 1: her hands, I'm gonna go on. We were like, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna be living l I V I n g E.

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Speaker 2: Wow, he's living.

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Speaker 4: There's a place in Door County, Wisconsin where you can

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Speaker 4: draw on the tables and if they like it, they'll

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Speaker 4: take it and they'll rip it out and they'll.

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Speaker 3: Post it in their lobby.

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Speaker 4: And that was one of the most exciting things for me,

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Speaker 4: is when they did that with this picture that I

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Speaker 4: drew back in twenty thirteen.

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Speaker 3: Isn't that cute?

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Speaker 1: They do that at this one too. They have them

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Speaker 1: like ripped out and put on the walls.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I love that. Yeah, I felt so honored.

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Speaker 2: Mark. You should go to Pace and try to draw

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Speaker 2: and see if they'll put it up.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that is on my list. That sounds like fun.

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Speaker 2: So I went to the concert last night. I was

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Speaker 2: obviously really tired, but I was like, you know what,

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Speaker 2: I'm just saying yes to things that I actually want

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Speaker 2: to go to, like.

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Speaker 1: Because you are living l I v I n ge,

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Speaker 1: I feel.

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Speaker 2: Like living living I see. I felt like I was watching,

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Speaker 2: Like when I was looking at Hoi'm on the stage,

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Speaker 2: I was like, I felt like I was watching people

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Speaker 2: that are going to be around for a long time.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, they're so cool. Have you ever seen them

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Speaker 2: in concerts? Though?

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Speaker 1: But I do like them. They are so cool, you know,

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Speaker 1: watching a show at the Hollywood Bowl is like just amazing.

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Speaker 2: It is amazing. But I've seen them. I saw them

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Speaker 2: at the Greek Theater and I felt the same way.

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Speaker 2: But I just feel and they're like these La girls

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Speaker 2: and they really play into like being from La and

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Speaker 2: like the valley, and they were so emotional playing at

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Speaker 2: the Bowl and it was just so cool. I was like,

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Speaker 2: this is They're just I always told Carolin and heink

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Speaker 2: if my sisters if we if we had any musical talent,

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Speaker 2: that he could be a band could have been us.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I really feel back of like you've been living

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Speaker 1: and I like it.

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Speaker 3: JA l V I n G.

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Speaker 2: What else have I been doing?

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Speaker 1: You've just been living like I just look at you

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, gosh, she is living and I am

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Speaker 1: into it. I am subscribing and I am I'm coming

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Speaker 1: along for the party now too, are you? I am

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Speaker 1: living Once I get this, once I get this water

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Speaker 1: situation patched out to my home and I organize, Oh

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Speaker 1: you can't. I'm gonna be like the Tasmanian Devil run

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Speaker 1: around town.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna see, like what does water signify?

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Speaker 3: Boy?

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Speaker 1: And it's could take me to a dark place I've got.

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Speaker 2: It's something about Clint, like Clint being clean.

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Speaker 1: Like I need to cleanse right now, like it's time

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Speaker 1: for me to.

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Speaker 2: Can be associated with birth, fertility, and refreshment.

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Speaker 3: What if it's just a coincidence.

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Speaker 1: There's been a lot of flooding in my life, like

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Speaker 1: more than your average gal. I would say, you know.

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Speaker 3: I stand by my question.

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Speaker 2: Wait, wait no, sorry. The spiritual meaning of water mainly

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Speaker 2: represents emotions new beginnings and purification and livings.

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Speaker 1: I need a new beginning and to my living and

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Speaker 1: that's what's happening.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I figured it was something with like the purification

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Speaker 2: is where I was like thinking, but refreshment, cleansing, like

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Speaker 2: think of Taylor Swift clean.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, new beginning, Yeah that vibe.

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Speaker 2: So look at that little sprinkled drip drip in your

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Speaker 2: living room as a blessing drip drip. I want to

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Speaker 2: talk about something that we're going to take a break

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Speaker 2: first that Tanya texted me, so we'll be right back.

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Speaker 2: All right, we're back. So yesterday I get a screen

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Speaker 2: shot of my I get a text from Tanya and

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Speaker 2: it's a screen shot of my Instagram page and it

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Speaker 2: says I'm feeling a little dot dot dot and I

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Speaker 2: was like what And she was like, you have to

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Speaker 2: scroll there already far down before you see me on

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Speaker 2: my Instagram And I said, like a laughing emoji. And

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Speaker 2: I was like, well, we need to have a Tanya

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Speaker 2: and backa night. Let's get cute and take pics. And

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Speaker 2: she said, I'm very far down there. I said, well,

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Speaker 2: I'm pretty far down there on yours as well, and

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Speaker 2: she goes, but I actually care, and I said, I said,

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Speaker 2: what do you mean? And she goes like, it actually

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Speaker 2: makes me sad, it doesn't actually make you sad, Like she.

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Speaker 1: Was just trying to counter my attack by attacking me.

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Speaker 1: But she doesn't care where she's not on my Instagram feed,

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Speaker 1: but I actually care.

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Speaker 2: And I said, Okay, well let's do something together. We've

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Speaker 2: both been busy, but I'd love to have a cute

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Speaker 2: bestie night with you, and she goes, I'm like half joking.

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Speaker 1: I think I was like seriously mad about it. Like

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Speaker 1: I didn't want you to think I was mad, you know,

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Speaker 1: because text can get taken out of context, and.

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Speaker 2: You never know.

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Speaker 1: With you, you never know, you really never know, and

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Speaker 1: so I wanted to know that I wasn't. I was

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Speaker 1: kind of yanking your chain, but at the same time,

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Speaker 1: like you could throw up a picture of us, shout.

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Speaker 2: Out friend, why don't you make time We make time

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Speaker 2: for each other to hang out so we can take

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Speaker 2: a new photo together.

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Speaker 1: I'm down, I'm living. I don't know if you've heard.

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Speaker 2: We got invited to get this is interesting. So we

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Speaker 2: got invited to go on this best friend trip, like

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Speaker 2: to celebrate best friend National best Friend Day or something,

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Speaker 2: and it's this trip to where is Aruba? Tanya goes,

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Speaker 2: why don't you ask ninety five P I'm gonna ak

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Speaker 2: Robby And I'm like, it's for a best friend trip

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Speaker 2: and she's like, yeah, but we could like just pay

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Speaker 2: pay for their flights and stuff. And I'm like and

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Speaker 2: she was like, and then we can just take pictures

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Speaker 2: for it. And I'm like, it's a best friend trip.

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Speaker 2: Why are you trying to invite the significant others?

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Speaker 1: So, first of.

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Speaker 3: All, I don't even know you anymore.

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Speaker 4: Woship is a whole different person.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Oh yeah, I'm like, I think it would be

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Speaker 2: so fun to go on a trip together, and she's

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Speaker 2: just trying to make it a couple's trip.

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Speaker 1: First of all, I was not I was given not

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Speaker 1: that much information. I thought we were just getting invited

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Speaker 1: to go the two like I thought I knew for

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Speaker 1: sure they were. It was inviting the two of us.

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Speaker 5: I says for National best Friend Days, and so I

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Speaker 5: said that in the subject line of the email.

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Speaker 1: I got a phone call. I got a phone call,

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Speaker 1: and so I was like, okay, So I'm like looking

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Speaker 1: at the dates and I'm thinking, like, when can I

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00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:28,520
Speaker 1: actually go logistically with work and stuff, when can I

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Speaker 1: actually make this trip happen, Like when can I go?

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Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, maybe Memorial Day weekend makes sense.

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Speaker 1: So I'm like look at the calendar and I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 1: that's my weekend with Robbie without kids. So that's just

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Speaker 1: kind of how my brain works right now. That's just

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Speaker 1: like what I thought. So in my mind, I'm like, okay, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we'll go. We're trying to arrange the dates with you

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Speaker 1: da da da, and you were like, I don't really

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Speaker 1: want to go for two days.

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Speaker 2: Well I know it was because it's a ten hour flight,

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Speaker 2: so it was like, we can make it work.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that didn't even cross my mind. And then she's like, well,

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Speaker 1: I thought we would go.

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Speaker 2: To jes because you were gonna invite Robby, so you're

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Speaker 2: just like, we're going on a couple's vacation.

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Speaker 1: I thought that it was gonna be the four of us.

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Speaker 1: I literally the whole time thought it would be the

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Speaker 1: four of us.

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Speaker 2: Well, I was like interesting, interesting because when we don't

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Speaker 2: even have a picture on Instagram because we haven't spent

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00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:22,040
Speaker 2: hardly any time together as best friends aside from doing

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Speaker 2: the podcast. And she won't even go on to best

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Speaker 2: friend's specific trip with me.

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Speaker 4: Without him, Tanya, you imagine I don't think back to

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Speaker 4: the pre Robbie era, which I know is very hard

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Speaker 4: for you to imagine.

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Speaker 3: But we were all there for it.

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Speaker 1: Uh huh.

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Speaker 4: If in the pre Robbie era you had said to Becca, hey,

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00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,320
Speaker 4: best friends trip wouldn't go to a rub together, They're

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Speaker 4: gonna said it's gonna be great, and Becka said great,

365
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,400
Speaker 4: I'll ask ninety five P. You would have been heartbroken

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Speaker 4: and you would have whined about it for a month.

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Speaker 1: That's not true.

368
00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:50,640
Speaker 2: That is true.

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00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:52,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would have. First of all, I'm not a whiner,

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00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:53,720
Speaker 1: so excuse me.

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00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:57,240
Speaker 4: I think you would have brought up that a number

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Speaker 4: of times, that ninety five P instead of having a

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Speaker 4: best friend's trip.

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00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:05,520
Speaker 2: I definitely think you would have said, like, I really

375
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Speaker 2: would love to have just like a weekend like with

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Speaker 2: me and you.

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00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:11,480
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, but that's not how this was approached, Taunya

378
00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:14,760
Speaker 1: is not approached to me in that way. I'm telling

379
00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:16,239
Speaker 1: you it was not.

380
00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:20,440
Speaker 2: Well, whoever approached you about it did not read the email.

381
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:23,479
Speaker 1: It was a thing I did know it was with you.

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00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:25,119
Speaker 1: It was like me and you and so I literally

383
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:29,560
Speaker 1: just thought it would be the four of us. This

384
00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:31,760
Speaker 1: is not this is not my bad, and this is

385
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:32,480
Speaker 1: not my bad.

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00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:33,760
Speaker 3: I think it's your bad.

387
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:35,919
Speaker 4: And as far as not whining goes, I think texting

388
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Speaker 4: Becka and saying I'm nowhere near the top of your

389
00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:39,040
Speaker 4: insident is whining.

390
00:18:41,359 --> 00:18:42,800
Speaker 2: She was just half joking.

391
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:44,600
Speaker 3: It's half whining.

392
00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:47,080
Speaker 1: Public displays of affection.

393
00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:47,920
Speaker 2: I don't okay.

394
00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:50,520
Speaker 1: Below me, all of you.

395
00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:55,239
Speaker 2: And honestly, no, seriously though, blow me. It made me

396
00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:58,560
Speaker 2: think because my first reaction, which I actually sent, was like, oh,

397
00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:00,320
Speaker 2: I'm not far on there on yours. And then you

398
00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:02,480
Speaker 2: were like, but you don't care whatever, and my first

399
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:04,800
Speaker 2: reaction was like, well what does that mean? Like to

400
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:06,280
Speaker 2: get defensive, and then I was like, you know what,

401
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:09,160
Speaker 2: I don't really care. And if Tanya does care, then

402
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:11,040
Speaker 2: that is something that I can make happen as her

403
00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:13,360
Speaker 2: best friend, because that means a lot to her, even

404
00:19:13,359 --> 00:19:15,840
Speaker 2: though it doesn't mean a lot to me. And so

405
00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:21,159
Speaker 2: I was like trying to make that happen and say like,

406
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,440
Speaker 2: let's have a night together, let's get cute, let's go to.

407
00:19:23,359 --> 00:19:26,960
Speaker 1: Dinner, you know when we will be cute tango, But

408
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:29,159
Speaker 1: that's no, no, our boudoir photo shoot.

409
00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:32,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, which is that's a that's a little bit.

410
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:34,240
Speaker 1: But we take photos together.

411
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:36,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, what we like?

412
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:41,200
Speaker 1: Are we like lingerie? Like could you imagine?

413
00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:45,000
Speaker 2: Like yeah, that would be very strange.

414
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:49,159
Speaker 1: Crossless panties, like hell what else?

415
00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:49,720
Speaker 2: Panties?

416
00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:57,080
Speaker 1: That's what I'm wearing in mine in my photo shoot?

417
00:19:57,480 --> 00:20:06,320
Speaker 2: Are you giving these? What did this turn into? Like

418
00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:09,240
Speaker 2: you're making Robbie a calendars? What are you talking about?

419
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:12,240
Speaker 1: We're taking boudoirs photos. What are you wearing?

420
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:17,040
Speaker 2: I don't know, no, but like, okay, well there is

421
00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:19,760
Speaker 2: a fine line between boy shorts and Crotchell's fannies, Like

422
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:25,439
Speaker 2: were the middle ground like a like lace song or something?

423
00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:28,639
Speaker 1: Okay it mind's a lace thong that has the CROs

424
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,640
Speaker 1: this this motion?

425
00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:37,560
Speaker 2: Well wow, yeah, we're definitely not taking photos together with

426
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:44,359
Speaker 2: you underwear, but we do have that where we're gonna

427
00:20:44,359 --> 00:20:47,080
Speaker 2: be looking cute. But maybe like we could actually do

428
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,520
Speaker 2: like a cute night where we go out and we catch.

429
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:52,200
Speaker 1: I don't know if you remember, but like last week,

430
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:55,359
Speaker 1: I literally one week ago to the day, I said,

431
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:57,000
Speaker 1: do you want to hang out after this? We can stay,

432
00:20:57,040 --> 00:21:00,200
Speaker 1: we can watch Grace Anatomy, And You're like I can't because.

433
00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:01,159
Speaker 2: I had work.

434
00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:03,600
Speaker 1: Well, I'm just saying it's not to It's not a

435
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:05,200
Speaker 1: one way street here, sister.

436
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:10,840
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, See this is called getting defensive instead

437
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:12,679
Speaker 2: of being like, actually, Becca, I would love to go

438
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:14,680
Speaker 2: get dinner, let's get cute and go somewhere together.

439
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:16,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would love to go, but I also would

440
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:17,719
Speaker 1: not like to get cute to go.

441
00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:20,720
Speaker 2: It's like kind of cute for Robbie to go to dinner.

442
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:24,240
Speaker 1: You should have seen me. I was not cute, No, ma'am,

443
00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:24,679
Speaker 1: I was not.

444
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:27,000
Speaker 2: I've seen you on your date nights when you post

445
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:30,199
Speaker 2: your mirror picks, thank you, sweats and a blazer on.

446
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:33,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm in your hair free vibes.

447
00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:34,760
Speaker 3: That's is that living?

448
00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:38,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I uh.

449
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:40,640
Speaker 3: Is not looking cute.

450
00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:43,639
Speaker 2: Living and Tanya is in a transformation phase. This is

451
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:47,720
Speaker 2: a water so she's there's some contradictions in her statements

452
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:48,600
Speaker 2: and well, no, to.

453
00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:50,359
Speaker 1: Be honest, I do usually get dressed up for date

454
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:52,120
Speaker 1: nights and stuff. I feel like I feel as though

455
00:21:52,119 --> 00:21:54,719
Speaker 1: the last few weeks I have been under pressure and

456
00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:58,000
Speaker 1: so all my free time I was working, and like

457
00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:01,640
Speaker 1: on on before day night, I totally lost track of time.

458
00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:04,520
Speaker 1: And he came to my apartment. He was like, our

459
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:07,159
Speaker 1: reservations at six and it was five point fifty and

460
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:08,760
Speaker 1: I was still on the zoom and so I was like,

461
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:12,119
Speaker 1: oh crap, I have no makeup on. I like ran up,

462
00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:13,600
Speaker 1: changed and left and I was like, you know what,

463
00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:15,960
Speaker 1: I'm hot, I have no makeup on.

464
00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:18,080
Speaker 2: I look good. Yeah.

465
00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:21,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, embracing it whatever feels.

466
00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:24,679
Speaker 2: When I say cute, I'm just saying like, however, you

467
00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:26,359
Speaker 2: want to look to take pictures for me to post

468
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:27,080
Speaker 2: on my Instagram.

469
00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:28,080
Speaker 1: Okay, I respect that.

470
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:32,479
Speaker 2: Yeah, So whatever that means to you, okay, Yeah, I

471
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:36,600
Speaker 2: just want you to want you to feel loved, cared for, respected,

472
00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:40,040
Speaker 2: they honored, honored on my Instagram. Thank you.

473
00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:42,880
Speaker 1: That's all I'm asking for. That's like a long time

474
00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:43,400
Speaker 1: to get there.

475
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:46,440
Speaker 2: I couldnot.

476
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:52,719
Speaker 6: I am impressed with how you handle that, Beaca, because

477
00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:56,960
Speaker 6: uh years ago, twenty eleven, my dad came to me

478
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:58,720
Speaker 6: and he's like, you know, I don't see many pictures

479
00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:01,480
Speaker 6: of me on your Facebook. And I was like watch this,

480
00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:05,200
Speaker 6: and I deleted Facebook. I deactivated it. I was off

481
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:08,240
Speaker 6: Facebook until like two years ago. I was off for

482
00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:10,879
Speaker 6: a very long time because I was like, this doesn't

483
00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:13,920
Speaker 6: matter pictures does it it doesn't mean anything. I'll show

484
00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:15,520
Speaker 6: you how much it matters to me. I'm gonna delete it,

485
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:17,360
Speaker 6: you know. And I thought that was a very defensive

486
00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:20,600
Speaker 6: thing to say instead of like, oh you know, why

487
00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:23,360
Speaker 6: does that bother you? Let's talk about this. Uh So

488
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:26,359
Speaker 6: I'm impressed with because that's the right way to do it.

489
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:26,960
Speaker 2: Went Beck.

490
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:31,120
Speaker 1: I was like, screw it, just delete off Instagram. That's it. Yeah,

491
00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:34,000
Speaker 1: And that actually feels very like gnarly of a reaction

492
00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:34,520
Speaker 1: from you.

493
00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:37,880
Speaker 6: Yeah, you know, well I thought it was a weird

494
00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:40,840
Speaker 6: thing to bring up to somebody like like, I don't know,

495
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:43,880
Speaker 6: sorry to sorry Todd you. But I did think it

496
00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:45,840
Speaker 6: was like a weird thing to say.

497
00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:46,520
Speaker 2: Uh.

498
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:49,560
Speaker 6: But also it was a very gnarly nuclear reaction from me.

499
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:53,000
Speaker 2: See, I also find it so weird, like I could

500
00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:57,439
Speaker 2: never see myself doing that. However, I appreciated her communicating

501
00:23:57,440 --> 00:24:00,159
Speaker 2: it to me as opposed to like stewing about.

502
00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:02,240
Speaker 1: It being passive aggressive, like being.

503
00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:04,399
Speaker 2: Passive aggressive about it. So for me, I was like,

504
00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:08,280
Speaker 2: would I ever do that? No, But this is a

505
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:11,040
Speaker 2: very Tawnya thing for her to do, and she's communicating

506
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:13,640
Speaker 2: what she needs and what's important to her, even though

507
00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:14,080
Speaker 2: I'm my.

508
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:16,199
Speaker 1: God, this is mature. This is you know what they

509
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:19,680
Speaker 1: call the thirty charity m a t You are.

510
00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:26,119
Speaker 2: Dollars of therapy and dating someone who is similar in

511
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:27,840
Speaker 2: their communication.

512
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:35,880
Speaker 1: That's great, thankful for this is I'm reaping the benefits.

513
00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:38,879
Speaker 2: Yes, you are so.

514
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:40,879
Speaker 3: Wait, so you will not take pictures of Tanya.

515
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,680
Speaker 4: She's you have to decide on the lingerie she wears

516
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:46,400
Speaker 4: before you will take pictures of her at the boudoir photosho.

517
00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:51,960
Speaker 3: What she's wearing.

518
00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:54,600
Speaker 2: For her individual No, I don't care at all. I'll

519
00:24:54,680 --> 00:25:00,520
Speaker 2: get every angle she wants in those underwear. Like I

520
00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:07,960
Speaker 2: was like, posing together like this a little yeah yeah,

521
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:14,399
Speaker 2: like siblings are dating, not saying vine yeah, so that

522
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:16,560
Speaker 2: we do have that coming up, but those will not

523
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:22,240
Speaker 2: be together. So we will plan a a friend date night. Accordingly,

524
00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:24,480
Speaker 2: happy too, happy great?

525
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:32,960
Speaker 1: Because you know why? Honestly I do. I feel like

526
00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:37,359
Speaker 1: a bird who just like cleaned her wings off, you know,

527
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:40,640
Speaker 1: or a butterfly. Some may say, oh yeah, and she's

528
00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:41,240
Speaker 1: ready to fly.

529
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:46,520
Speaker 2: What Wait, what's the cause of you being a butterfly

530
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:47,160
Speaker 2: ready to fly?

531
00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:50,960
Speaker 1: Like? What? I don't know nothing, nothing has nothing to

532
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:53,560
Speaker 1: do with a bird or flying. That was just my analogy.

533
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:56,400
Speaker 2: Okay, but what's the new found Like.

534
00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:59,919
Speaker 1: Oh, right, because I was bogged down, I had a

535
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:02,879
Speaker 1: little bit of stress with deadlines, and now I'm not anymore.

536
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:04,680
Speaker 1: So now I'm.

537
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:05,560
Speaker 2: Free of deadlines.

538
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:06,120
Speaker 1: Correct.

539
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:08,840
Speaker 2: We also have to decide what we're wearing for wingo Tango.

540
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:12,840
Speaker 2: I have some thoughts. Oh hell, what.

541
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:18,680
Speaker 1: I was thinking euphoria vibes. I kind of like bright No, no, okay,

542
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:20,919
Speaker 1: that's not the right word, but like bright colors, like

543
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:23,720
Speaker 1: you know, everyone's doing that cool like pop pink, you know,

544
00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:27,040
Speaker 1: like the thing over the eye, you know, and like

545
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:29,600
Speaker 1: I'll just send you some photo and spo.

546
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:32,879
Speaker 2: Okay, well I have seen. I'm a little nervous because

547
00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:38,480
Speaker 2: so Tanya has sent me sends me dress options for

548
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:42,760
Speaker 2: JoJo's wedding, which is black tie, so you know, typically

549
00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:47,439
Speaker 2: it's like a longer like it's fancy and uh elegant.

550
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:52,800
Speaker 2: And Tania sends me a hot pink, metallic dress that's

551
00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:55,720
Speaker 2: like has a slip basically up to like the hip

552
00:26:57,160 --> 00:27:00,520
Speaker 2: and it's sure like it's a cocktail dress. And she's like,

553
00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:02,919
Speaker 2: what do you think about this for JoJo's wedding? And

554
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:06,119
Speaker 2: I was like, I can't tell if you're kidding or not.

555
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:09,879
Speaker 1: It's not a trashy dress.

556
00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:12,600
Speaker 2: It's very early can and it was not what I

557
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:14,760
Speaker 2: would describe as elegant, but it's not trashy.

558
00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:18,040
Speaker 1: It was avant garde. It was avant guard.

559
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:19,600
Speaker 2: But it's it would be like something you'd wear to

560
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:23,560
Speaker 2: Wingo Tango. What oh my god? You just like.

561
00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:28,960
Speaker 1: It's like a daytime festival. You don't wear an auvant

562
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:33,159
Speaker 1: garde dressed and Wango Tango. You were like, Okay, it

563
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:35,440
Speaker 1: could be wi jingle Ball.

564
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:37,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was Gonnay jingle Ball, or like I heart

565
00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:40,840
Speaker 2: Festival and Vegas. Yeah, I think of all iHeart events

566
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:45,240
Speaker 2: kind of the same. Like dress I'm thinking about. I

567
00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:47,680
Speaker 2: wore like a cute dress to the last Wingo Tango

568
00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:52,640
Speaker 2: I went to, So I'm like confused, but anyways, it's interesting.

569
00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:56,760
Speaker 2: And then she sends me a neon green Granted this

570
00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:59,960
Speaker 2: one was long, but it had like cutouts throughout the midsection,

571
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:04,160
Speaker 2: and I'm like, Tanya, are you gonna do this? 're

572
00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:08,480
Speaker 2: like how I'm like, maybe something a little more neutral,

573
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:12,840
Speaker 2: like less rips out of the stomach, like there is

574
00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:15,000
Speaker 2: you know, you can be sexy. There's a way of

575
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:19,800
Speaker 2: being sexy and still keeping it like within the appropriate

576
00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:20,600
Speaker 2: you know.

577
00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:22,520
Speaker 1: It was the website that I was on. I truly

578
00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:26,040
Speaker 1: once I got off that website, I realized that, you know, things,

579
00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:31,680
Speaker 1: When I look back at the photo that I say,

580
00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:34,840
Speaker 1: it was like literally laughing out loud, crying because I

581
00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:36,480
Speaker 1: was just like looking at them and I'm like, these

582
00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:38,200
Speaker 1: are not black tie at all.

583
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:40,520
Speaker 4: But I've just you had this conversation with Ciciny. I

584
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:42,240
Speaker 4: overheard it the other day in the studio. You were

585
00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:44,560
Speaker 4: saying to her black tie and said You're like, yeah,

586
00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:46,240
Speaker 4: that means to the floor, dressed to the floor, and

587
00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:49,600
Speaker 4: You're like, WHOA, I don't know, doesn't She's like, yes,

588
00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:53,720
Speaker 4: I am so this.

589
00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:56,240
Speaker 2: I focus so much on this, and I don't know

590
00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:59,960
Speaker 2: if it's a good thing necessarily, but like being appropriately

591
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:02,640
Speaker 2: dressed has been very important to me my whole life.

592
00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:05,600
Speaker 2: Like I never want to be like underdressed or overdressed.

593
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:08,760
Speaker 2: Like it's always been really important that I'm like dressed

594
00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:12,000
Speaker 2: at the expectation of the event that's being thrown. If

595
00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:14,880
Speaker 2: that makes sense. Yeah, but I don't know if everyone cares.

596
00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:17,320
Speaker 2: Like JoJo's kind of like, I don't care, but I

597
00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:19,080
Speaker 2: don't know if she'd feel that way if you showed

598
00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:20,240
Speaker 2: up and you're like, neon.

599
00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:22,640
Speaker 1: No, because as long as the dress isn't white, I

600
00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:24,240
Speaker 1: think we're good. Yeah.

601
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:26,640
Speaker 2: Tony's like, I found the perfect dress, shows up in

602
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:29,480
Speaker 2: like a white gown with a train in a veil

603
00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:31,080
Speaker 2: down a dress.

604
00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:33,880
Speaker 1: It's black and it's to the ground and it's very tea.

605
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:36,080
Speaker 2: She's like, they said it was for a wedding. They

606
00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:36,920
Speaker 2: said perfect for.

607
00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:41,080
Speaker 1: Black tie wedding. Whatever that means.

608
00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:41,719
Speaker 2: So funny.

609
00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:43,760
Speaker 1: I haven't been to a black tie wedding in a minute.

610
00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:46,360
Speaker 4: I've been bufted so many times being underdressed, and I

611
00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:48,840
Speaker 4: hate that feeling so much that I overdress. If as

612
00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:53,080
Speaker 4: any question at all whatsoever. The story This was ten

613
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:55,840
Speaker 4: years ago at least, but we were doing the Seacrest

614
00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:58,280
Speaker 4: Show and the Vice President of the United States, Joe Biden,

615
00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:01,000
Speaker 4: was coming in to be interviewed. I didn't even think

616
00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:02,360
Speaker 4: about it. I was like, okay, great, and I was

617
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:04,080
Speaker 4: focused on that, and I was nervous about that. I

618
00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:05,560
Speaker 4: wanted to make sure it went perfectly, but I didn't

619
00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:07,120
Speaker 4: think about what I was wearing, and that never even

620
00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:09,000
Speaker 4: occurred to me. So I go to work wearing what

621
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:11,000
Speaker 4: I always wear, which is like a college shirt and jeans.

622
00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:13,320
Speaker 4: I get there, everyone's in a suit. Everyone in the

623
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:15,040
Speaker 4: entire staff and in a suit and dress. I'm like,

624
00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:17,680
Speaker 4: oh my god, I didn't even think about that. So

625
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:20,360
Speaker 4: basically I had hide in the corner when the vice

626
00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:23,840
Speaker 4: president comes in because I'm the idiot who's drifted a

627
00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:26,520
Speaker 4: normal shirt and jeans while everybody else is in a suit.

628
00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:27,720
Speaker 3: I felt terrible.

629
00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:30,280
Speaker 4: So ever since then, if there's any question, I'll put

630
00:30:30,280 --> 00:30:32,680
Speaker 4: out a jacket or a tie, just because I don't.

631
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:34,840
Speaker 3: Want to be that guy. Ever again, I was humiliated.

632
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:38,720
Speaker 2: I that's exactly how I feel like. I'd rather just

633
00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:41,920
Speaker 2: be totally overdressed and people be like, wow, she really

634
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,080
Speaker 2: went for it. Then people are being like, wow, she

635
00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:51,120
Speaker 2: did not care, right right Tonya? But Tanya, I'm just.

636
00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:55,560
Speaker 1: Living in my sweats lately, living in my sweats. The

637
00:30:55,600 --> 00:31:00,480
Speaker 1: concept of dressing up is is so like because we've

638
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:02,320
Speaker 1: just not done it in a minute, you know.

639
00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:06,040
Speaker 2: Well, the thing is is that you have because you've

640
00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:10,080
Speaker 2: done like red carpet events, So like of any of

641
00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:14,240
Speaker 2: the group shot, it would be you who would be

642
00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:15,600
Speaker 2: like knowing what.

643
00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:17,600
Speaker 1: To wear, but even like jeans, Like I put on

644
00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:20,720
Speaker 1: jeans now, and I'm like, oh, jeans are so constricting.

645
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:24,280
Speaker 2: Wait, I need to ask Easton. So I saw that

646
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:26,560
Speaker 2: you and Alison went to the Renaissance Is it the

647
00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:27,280
Speaker 2: Renaissance Fair?

648
00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:31,440
Speaker 6: Well, technically it's the Renaissance Pleasure Fairdale, California.

649
00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:34,560
Speaker 2: What is what happens with the Pleasure Fair?

650
00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:39,160
Speaker 6: Well, you know it's it's your typical Renaissance fair. People

651
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:43,400
Speaker 6: in costume, living their medieval best life, and uh there's

652
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:47,920
Speaker 6: jousting and uh there's turkey legs abound. It was for

653
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:50,680
Speaker 6: our friend's birthday and we we had a grand old time.

654
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:54,480
Speaker 6: Allison and I dressed up as the Ed Sheer and

655
00:31:54,520 --> 00:31:56,800
Speaker 6: Taylor Swift song The Joker and the Queen.

656
00:31:57,240 --> 00:31:57,800
Speaker 2: Wow.

657
00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:01,480
Speaker 6: I was the Joker and Allison was the Queen. I

658
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:03,600
Speaker 6: know that song is about playing cards, but we we

659
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:07,920
Speaker 6: still took it to the Royal Court version. H Yeah,

660
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:09,320
Speaker 6: it's it's a lot of fun. If you've never been

661
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:11,160
Speaker 6: to a rent fair, there's probably one in your area,

662
00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:13,120
Speaker 6: and I recommend you check it out because it's, uh,

663
00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:14,360
Speaker 6: it's it's a blast.

664
00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:19,000
Speaker 2: So I've always seen these on social media, and I've

665
00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:25,680
Speaker 2: always seen like just random people like it's is it LIKESM.

666
00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:28,200
Speaker 6: I saw a guy get walked around on a leash

667
00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:30,480
Speaker 6: with a collar. But I don't think it was sexual nature.

668
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:32,360
Speaker 6: I think it was just he was someone's pet. That's

669
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:33,000
Speaker 6: what I think it was.

670
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:35,040
Speaker 3: I think throw by the word pleasure. I think that's

671
00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:35,840
Speaker 3: the problem, Yeah.

672
00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:38,080
Speaker 1: The pleasure. And I also have like BDSM on my

673
00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:40,040
Speaker 1: mind because I was reading a lot about that Megan

674
00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:40,840
Speaker 1: Fox interview.

675
00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:44,600
Speaker 6: Would they like drink each other's blood or yeah?

676
00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:47,040
Speaker 1: But in that same interview, there's like a whole thing

677
00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:51,120
Speaker 1: about BDSM and I had to look up what it was.

678
00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:55,280
Speaker 2: Not BDSM, but I always thought, I don't know anyone

679
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:57,520
Speaker 2: who would go to that, and I was so curious.

680
00:32:57,560 --> 00:32:59,400
Speaker 2: So when I saw y'all there, I was like, I

681
00:32:59,480 --> 00:33:01,840
Speaker 2: need to know, like what happens at this thing? Because

682
00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:04,560
Speaker 2: is it just like you dress up in costume and

683
00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:06,560
Speaker 2: you kind of like live as they did in the

684
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:07,400
Speaker 2: Renaissance time.

685
00:33:08,680 --> 00:33:10,480
Speaker 6: I've been to a few resilances fares in my day,

686
00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:13,080
Speaker 6: and uh, it's I just like themed entertainment. That's what

687
00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:15,880
Speaker 6: it comes down to for me. But yeah, you don't

688
00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:17,600
Speaker 6: have to dress up. I mean I saw dudes just

689
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:20,680
Speaker 6: like inflannel shirts and like ball craps is walking around

690
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:25,000
Speaker 6: drinking meat. But it's fun, you know, Like I went

691
00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:26,800
Speaker 6: to buy a bottle of water and the guy, you know,

692
00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:31,200
Speaker 6: that will be sixpence and I'm like a ten and

693
00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:32,480
Speaker 6: I didn't know how to say thank you, so I

694
00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:35,600
Speaker 6: just said good gracious and he laughed at me. But

695
00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:38,320
Speaker 6: it's a fun it's a fun time.

696
00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:38,840
Speaker 3: I don't know.

697
00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:41,880
Speaker 6: Yeah, you get to like role play. We did knife throwing.

698
00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:46,680
Speaker 6: They have like archery. There's a you know, you can

699
00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:48,600
Speaker 6: put someone in the stocks where you like have your

700
00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:51,280
Speaker 6: it's like a punishment thing. You put your head in

701
00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:52,320
Speaker 6: there on your arms, you know.

702
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:54,120
Speaker 3: Yeah.

703
00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:54,360
Speaker 2: Yeah.

704
00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:56,880
Speaker 6: The word pleasure through me too, because I've been to

705
00:33:56,920 --> 00:33:59,040
Speaker 6: other reslants maries that don't have that in the title.

706
00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:01,560
Speaker 6: And I'm not sure if that's like a copyright thing

707
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:04,560
Speaker 6: or what it is, but there pleasures in the title.

708
00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:07,240
Speaker 6: I didn't see anything like sexual there. It was just

709
00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:08,120
Speaker 6: a regular renaissance.

710
00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:11,880
Speaker 2: You're giving ideas with the man on the leash and

711
00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:18,920
Speaker 2: the guy and the wooden thing. She's you said, but

712
00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:24,399
Speaker 2: what'd you say? You said? Role play? She head twitching,

713
00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:27,240
Speaker 2: all right, good to know. I've just always been curious

714
00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:29,239
Speaker 2: and I was like, I gotta ask about that.

715
00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:31,080
Speaker 6: I think it's running all month.

716
00:34:31,120 --> 00:34:34,360
Speaker 2: If you want to hit up, I might get on

717
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:36,320
Speaker 2: Amazon and order and outfit.

718
00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:37,439
Speaker 6: Oh my god, that's fun.

719
00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:40,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I don't know about turkey

720
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:42,680
Speaker 2: like that. People are calling me like me lady and stuff.

721
00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:43,440
Speaker 2: That could be fun.

722
00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:46,479
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's a that's a good time.

723
00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:48,799
Speaker 2: Maybe that could be our cute friend date.

724
00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:54,400
Speaker 5: Yeah, Okay, we're gonna take a break and we'll be

725
00:34:54,480 --> 00:35:10,000
Speaker 5: right back with emails.

726
00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:14,880
Speaker 2: All right, we are back mark. We have some emails.

727
00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:18,440
Speaker 3: We sure du beca thank you very much. Both anonymous again.

728
00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:20,319
Speaker 4: The first one says, I'm with my husband for a

729
00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:22,600
Speaker 4: total of ten years, three years married, and we're only

730
00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:25,239
Speaker 4: in our late twenties. We were high school sweethearts. He's

731
00:35:25,239 --> 00:35:27,680
Speaker 4: truly my best friend. We've built a nice life together.

732
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:30,040
Speaker 4: He's a hard worker, and he's very supportive, and he's

733
00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:32,080
Speaker 4: very social, and he's funny, and there's lots of friends

734
00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:33,120
Speaker 4: and a great family.

735
00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:33,240
Speaker 3: Et cetera.

736
00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:38,040
Speaker 4: However, he's really picked up a bad habit of drinking

737
00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:41,200
Speaker 4: every single day. Years ago, when it started, he was

738
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:43,600
Speaker 4: hiding liquor bottles in his room. When we were dating

739
00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:45,560
Speaker 4: and living at our separate homes with our parents, and

740
00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:48,600
Speaker 4: thankfully he has since stopped drinking liquor because it turns

741
00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:51,440
Speaker 4: them into a whole different person. I'm now the nagging,

742
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:53,839
Speaker 4: annoying wife who gets on him about it every day,

743
00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:55,640
Speaker 4: and I don't want to be that person, But I

744
00:35:55,719 --> 00:35:58,840
Speaker 4: just don't understand the need for one to four beers

745
00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:02,240
Speaker 4: every night. Both work nine to five jobs, money through Friday.

746
00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:04,879
Speaker 4: I'd love to hear your thoughts and opinions, especially since

747
00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:07,040
Speaker 4: I know Mark and Easton don't drink at all. Am

748
00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:09,320
Speaker 4: I being unreasonable for being so annoyed?

749
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:17,080
Speaker 2: This is really hard because I don't think that you're

750
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:22,640
Speaker 2: unreasonable for not wanting your spouse to like need to

751
00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:25,399
Speaker 2: drink every night. I know a lot of people have

752
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:27,759
Speaker 2: will like come home and have a beer glass of

753
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:29,880
Speaker 2: wine to just wind down after a long day, but

754
00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:35,680
Speaker 2: I personally, like only I only drink socially because I

755
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:39,200
Speaker 2: don't really like the taste, Like I don't find comfort

756
00:36:39,239 --> 00:36:43,160
Speaker 2: in the taste of alcohol. So I don't know that

757
00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:44,799
Speaker 2: I have great advice for this.

758
00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:48,600
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, you do think about it, like, don't necessarily

759
00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:50,520
Speaker 1: put the alcohol with it, But it's like, Okay, you've

760
00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:52,239
Speaker 1: been with somebody for so many years and then they

761
00:36:52,239 --> 00:36:57,160
Speaker 1: develop a habit that is not something that has been

762
00:36:57,480 --> 00:37:00,359
Speaker 1: in the beginning of your relationship. They develop a new habit, like.

763
00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:02,520
Speaker 2: Well, it sounds like it has been in the beginning

764
00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:04,320
Speaker 2: of the relationship that he was high.

765
00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:06,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was liquor before and now it's just beer.

766
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:07,680
Speaker 3: But it's still bothering her.

767
00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:07,800
Speaker 2: You.

768
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:10,000
Speaker 1: I just think at the end of the day, like

769
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:12,600
Speaker 1: you can. I don't think it's wrong to be annoyed

770
00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:16,480
Speaker 1: at all, because again it's not your preference, you don't.

771
00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:18,520
Speaker 1: You know, you're allowed to be annoyed by things. But

772
00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:22,359
Speaker 1: at the same time, it's like you can't force somebody,

773
00:37:22,480 --> 00:37:24,880
Speaker 1: you know, if that's the way she's choosing to unwind,

774
00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:28,000
Speaker 1: unless it's a real issue and he's not making it

775
00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:30,719
Speaker 1: to work, and it's like impacting other things, Like you

776
00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:33,600
Speaker 1: can't tell somebody else how to live their life.

777
00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:37,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I guess it's like if he's if

778
00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:41,799
Speaker 2: he's getting drunk and it's altering his like demeanor and personality.

779
00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:44,320
Speaker 2: I think that's a bigger conversation because.

780
00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:46,399
Speaker 1: It's like or like he's being mean to you. Yeah,

781
00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:47,040
Speaker 1: you know, like.

782
00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:49,480
Speaker 2: If he's being rude or he's treating you in a

783
00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:50,880
Speaker 2: different way when he drinks.

784
00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:51,759
Speaker 1: Then that's like a hell no.

785
00:37:52,239 --> 00:37:55,319
Speaker 2: Yeah. But if I guess I'm with Tawny in the

786
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:58,120
Speaker 2: sense that if he is coming home and it takes

787
00:37:58,120 --> 00:38:00,839
Speaker 2: four beers for him to relax and he's not like

788
00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:02,799
Speaker 2: if he has a high tolerance for it, I just

789
00:38:03,719 --> 00:38:06,040
Speaker 2: in my mind I think like, it's four going to

790
00:38:06,080 --> 00:38:08,120
Speaker 2: turn into six? Is six gonna you know? It's just

791
00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:12,640
Speaker 2: like once you get numb or adjusted to a certain amount,

792
00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:15,320
Speaker 2: will it increase? And I think that's where it becomes

793
00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:18,440
Speaker 2: as scary as as someone who if I was like

794
00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:21,040
Speaker 2: watching my significant other do that, I would be like, Okay,

795
00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:23,840
Speaker 2: is this going to turn into a problem? So I

796
00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:25,840
Speaker 2: get the fear of like, do I try to I

797
00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:27,640
Speaker 2: don't want to be nagging and annoying, but can we

798
00:38:27,719 --> 00:38:30,560
Speaker 2: have a bigger conversation about what what is this? And

799
00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:34,040
Speaker 2: is it going to continue forever?

800
00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:37,080
Speaker 1: And I also think too, you can you know, do

801
00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:39,600
Speaker 1: things in a way that maybe you know, you can

802
00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:42,160
Speaker 1: say you want to not drink as much, or maybe

803
00:38:42,200 --> 00:38:44,000
Speaker 1: you guys like challenge each other and you do like

804
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:45,960
Speaker 1: a month where you kind of like reset and don't

805
00:38:46,040 --> 00:38:48,880
Speaker 1: drink and and you know, go to sleep early and

806
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:50,239
Speaker 1: kind of I don't know there's like I feel like

807
00:38:50,239 --> 00:38:52,320
Speaker 1: there's more positive ways to encourage.

808
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:53,800
Speaker 2: It versus like nagging nagging.

809
00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:55,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, and I think that's what it is.

810
00:38:55,719 --> 00:38:56,960
Speaker 4: I think you just got to sit down and not

811
00:38:57,040 --> 00:38:58,680
Speaker 4: in a nagging web, in a loving way, say that

812
00:38:58,719 --> 00:39:02,560
Speaker 4: you're concerned because and there's other angles too, like that's

813
00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:04,560
Speaker 4: a lot of money, and that's a lot of calories.

814
00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:06,839
Speaker 4: Like that's That's kind of what I've always thought about

815
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:09,480
Speaker 4: alcohol too, is like it's very expensive and boy for

816
00:39:09,640 --> 00:39:11,399
Speaker 4: a night really does add up.

817
00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:13,040
Speaker 3: But I think it's a loving way.

818
00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:14,319
Speaker 4: You got to come after it and just say that

819
00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:17,920
Speaker 4: you're concerned that you think that it's becoming something that

820
00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:20,759
Speaker 4: is a compulsion and that's not good and you want

821
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:22,440
Speaker 4: to be there for him and help him. And if

822
00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:24,120
Speaker 4: he's dealing with something, you're there for him and you

823
00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:26,719
Speaker 4: want to help help him in any way that you can.

824
00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:29,040
Speaker 4: He may not respond well to that. I don't know,

825
00:39:29,120 --> 00:39:30,960
Speaker 4: but I do think it's going to have to be

826
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:32,640
Speaker 4: resolved at some point or another because it's going to

827
00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:35,520
Speaker 4: keep bothering you. And it's not wrong that it bothers you.

828
00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:39,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree. I think it's like just approaching it

829
00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:41,879
Speaker 2: more and like I care about you, and I don't

830
00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:44,880
Speaker 2: want this to become a problem or something that's continually

831
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:47,680
Speaker 2: getting increased. And maybe there's a way of like, hey,

832
00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:51,239
Speaker 2: like we drink on the weekends, or you know, if

833
00:39:51,239 --> 00:39:53,840
Speaker 2: he likes the taste of it, they have non alcoholic beers.

834
00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:55,200
Speaker 2: You know. I think there's just like a way of

835
00:39:55,239 --> 00:39:57,120
Speaker 2: approaching it of like, hey, I want you to be

836
00:39:57,239 --> 00:39:58,759
Speaker 2: healthy and I want you to be around for a

837
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:02,960
Speaker 2: long time, and is there you know, I want to

838
00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:04,880
Speaker 2: I want to be there for you and support you

839
00:40:04,920 --> 00:40:09,040
Speaker 2: and not feel like I'm like nagging you. Yeah, just

840
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:11,000
Speaker 2: let him know that you're not trying to do it

841
00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:12,560
Speaker 2: in that way. You just care about him.

842
00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:12,879
Speaker 3: Yeah.

843
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:16,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, And until like anything else with addiction, until he

844
00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:18,319
Speaker 4: realizes he has a problem. It's not gonna do much

845
00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:21,520
Speaker 4: about it, but it's good to at least plant some seeds. Uh,

846
00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:22,279
Speaker 4: this is a tough one.

847
00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:24,480
Speaker 1: The second anonymous song.

848
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:27,000
Speaker 3: Oh sorry, yes, Taylor Swift song, I'm just.

849
00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:28,000
Speaker 1: Gonna go with Dear John.

850
00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:31,120
Speaker 2: Oh why just.

851
00:40:31,080 --> 00:40:36,080
Speaker 1: Imagining his name is John for some reason? Okay, so

852
00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:37,120
Speaker 1: dear John.

853
00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:41,400
Speaker 2: You're just imagining that his name is John?

854
00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:45,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, And that song deals with addiction and Dear.

855
00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:51,040
Speaker 4: I'm gonna go interesting that you forced this part in

856
00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:52,960
Speaker 4: and yet you have kind of a cop out answer.

857
00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:55,720
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go with I wish you would.

858
00:40:56,320 --> 00:40:58,479
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, good one.

859
00:40:58,800 --> 00:40:59,000
Speaker 2: Yeah.

860
00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:00,800
Speaker 1: I could need to make a list of her songs

861
00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:01,880
Speaker 1: and just have it here for reference.

862
00:41:01,920 --> 00:41:03,000
Speaker 2: We talked about that last week.

863
00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:06,520
Speaker 3: All Right, this is a tough one.

864
00:41:06,719 --> 00:41:08,759
Speaker 4: My husband of eight and a half years revealed a

865
00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:11,400
Speaker 4: month ago that he's been having an affair for the

866
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:15,400
Speaker 4: last six months. He has surrendered, told me everything and

867
00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:17,879
Speaker 4: feels so much guilt and shame and does not want

868
00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:20,319
Speaker 4: to keep living that fake life. He ended it with her.

869
00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:23,439
Speaker 4: We actually both talked to her on the phone. We're

870
00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:27,279
Speaker 4: going to marriage counseling and individual counseling. Well, it was

871
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:30,680
Speaker 4: just revealed a few days ago that she's pregnant. She

872
00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:33,520
Speaker 4: swears she hasn't been with anyone but him. She also

873
00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:37,080
Speaker 4: doesn't want my husband involved in this child's life at all. Ever,

874
00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:40,719
Speaker 4: I love my husband, he is my person. We have

875
00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:43,799
Speaker 4: a one year old child. Question one, do we need

876
00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:47,680
Speaker 4: a paternity test? Question two? What do or can we

877
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:49,960
Speaker 4: do about her not wanting my husband involved in the

878
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:53,920
Speaker 4: child's life? Question three? Can our marriage survive this? I

879
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:55,759
Speaker 4: really want it to, but I don't want to be

880
00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:58,520
Speaker 4: kidding myself. Let's go one at a time, shall we.

881
00:41:58,800 --> 00:42:05,319
Speaker 2: Louise first, I am so sorry. This is so devastating,

882
00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:11,759
Speaker 2: devastating and complicated and I can't even imagine what you're

883
00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:16,640
Speaker 2: going through. Do we need a paternity test?

884
00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:20,440
Speaker 1: I mean I would say yes, just in the sense

885
00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:23,280
Speaker 1: that you didn't say in your email. But this woman

886
00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:25,719
Speaker 1: that's saying he's the father, is she saying I don't

887
00:42:25,760 --> 00:42:27,520
Speaker 1: want you involved, but I want your money.

888
00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:30,719
Speaker 3: It doesn't sound like it.

889
00:42:31,239 --> 00:42:33,080
Speaker 4: I don't The first two questions are tough because I

890
00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:34,960
Speaker 4: feel like those are legal questions that we don't have

891
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:36,719
Speaker 4: the expertise on. I think you need to talk to

892
00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:39,120
Speaker 4: an attorney if you do, because you can't force a

893
00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:41,480
Speaker 4: paternity test on her. You have to have a judge

894
00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:44,680
Speaker 4: do that. And same with the custody. If he wants

895
00:42:44,719 --> 00:42:46,560
Speaker 4: custody of a child, he might be able to get it,

896
00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:48,040
Speaker 4: but again you have to get a lawyer involved.

897
00:42:48,160 --> 00:42:48,879
Speaker 1: Yeah.

898
00:42:49,160 --> 00:42:51,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think I agree with Mark. I think

899
00:42:51,640 --> 00:42:53,400
Speaker 2: those are way above our.

900
00:42:54,760 --> 00:42:58,400
Speaker 1: Level of But yeah, but I'm thinking if this person

901
00:42:58,520 --> 00:43:01,799
Speaker 1: is wanting money, then you for sure get a paternity test,

902
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:06,520
Speaker 1: And like you for sure if if that's what you want,

903
00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:08,719
Speaker 1: I would assume he would want custody if it is

904
00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:13,520
Speaker 1: his child, then I would say hell, yeah yeah, but I.

905
00:43:13,640 --> 00:43:19,040
Speaker 2: Even just visitation, yeah yeah, and even can your marriage

906
00:43:19,040 --> 00:43:26,800
Speaker 2: survive this? I I mean, I don't know. I would

907
00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:29,200
Speaker 2: have a very I personally would have a very hard time.

908
00:43:29,239 --> 00:43:32,279
Speaker 2: I don't know that I could be in live in

909
00:43:32,440 --> 00:43:37,160
Speaker 2: peace with knowing someone could do that to me. And

910
00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:40,320
Speaker 2: at the same time, I know there's so much healing

911
00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:44,600
Speaker 2: that can happen, especially like committing to each other and

912
00:43:44,640 --> 00:43:48,480
Speaker 2: going to therapy and like really committing to like being

913
00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:50,760
Speaker 2: there for each other. I do. I've heard of people's

914
00:43:50,800 --> 00:43:54,360
Speaker 2: stories having redemptions, So I definitely think if both people

915
00:43:54,440 --> 00:43:57,160
Speaker 2: want it to it can survive it. But you really

916
00:43:57,280 --> 00:43:59,839
Speaker 2: have to take care of yourself in this situation and

917
00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:04,680
Speaker 2: pay attention to how you're feeling through it all, because

918
00:44:04,719 --> 00:44:07,200
Speaker 2: of course he feels guilt and shame, you know, Like,

919
00:44:07,560 --> 00:44:10,400
Speaker 2: I mean, at the very least that's what he should

920
00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:13,000
Speaker 2: be feeling for doing that to you, especially with having

921
00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:15,960
Speaker 2: a child together. But I think it's like you'd got

922
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:18,600
Speaker 2: to really tune into how you're feeling and how your

923
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:23,160
Speaker 2: heart feels and if you're able to like actually continue

924
00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:27,480
Speaker 2: living your life and having a healthy relationship with trust

925
00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:32,520
Speaker 2: and loyalty, because that's gonna be hard to like just

926
00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:34,400
Speaker 2: let go of what he's done.

927
00:44:34,640 --> 00:44:37,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I honestly, I think it just depends on

928
00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:41,359
Speaker 1: like you personally and the type of person that you are,

929
00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:46,760
Speaker 1: because I know for me personally, that's something I couldn't

930
00:44:46,800 --> 00:44:49,239
Speaker 1: get past because I'm not you know, I'm not the

931
00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:51,200
Speaker 1: school of thought of once a cheater, always a cheater.

932
00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:53,279
Speaker 1: I think people make mistakes. I think people grow and

933
00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:55,759
Speaker 1: learn from them. But I do think that if you

934
00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:58,640
Speaker 1: were in a serious committed relationship, as you guys were,

935
00:44:58,719 --> 00:45:01,480
Speaker 1: you were married, and somebody goes outside of that marriage,

936
00:45:01,520 --> 00:45:05,759
Speaker 1: there is a character flaw, there is something there that

937
00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:08,000
Speaker 1: they can be in a committed marriage to you and

938
00:45:08,040 --> 00:45:14,359
Speaker 1: go outside the marriage, there's something not there, and so

939
00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:20,280
Speaker 1: I would have a hard time. I know for me personally,

940
00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:22,919
Speaker 1: I couldn't do it. But that's just me. I don't

941
00:45:22,920 --> 00:45:26,440
Speaker 1: think it's impossible, and I think, yes you can. I

942
00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:28,920
Speaker 1: think you just have to really like look look in

943
00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:32,120
Speaker 1: at yourself and think to yourself if you can, because

944
00:45:32,160 --> 00:45:33,960
Speaker 1: I know for me, I wouldn't be able to.

945
00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:38,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, you wouldn't be able to. Bet I wouldn't

946
00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:39,640
Speaker 4: be able to. I don't think i'd be able to.

947
00:45:39,719 --> 00:45:42,000
Speaker 4: But the only person's opinion that really matters here is

948
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:45,440
Speaker 4: the anonymous emailer who says in your email she really

949
00:45:45,520 --> 00:45:48,120
Speaker 4: wants her marriage to survive this. And if that's the case,

950
00:45:48,200 --> 00:45:50,400
Speaker 4: then I think you can get through this. If he

951
00:45:50,520 --> 00:45:54,279
Speaker 4: is as remorseful, if he has as contrite as you

952
00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:57,040
Speaker 4: make him out to be, I think there's hope here.

953
00:45:57,080 --> 00:46:00,080
Speaker 4: And I know that's weird because six months is a

954
00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:02,319
Speaker 4: long time. That's a tough way that that's what would

955
00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:04,560
Speaker 4: bother me. And maybe you're going to make the commitment

956
00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:06,000
Speaker 4: to continue this. In a couple of months from now,

957
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:08,239
Speaker 4: you're going to realize that he can't be out of

958
00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:10,760
Speaker 4: your sight without you torturing yourself with all these thoughts.

959
00:46:10,960 --> 00:46:12,560
Speaker 4: Maybe you're going to realize this is too hard for

960
00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:15,200
Speaker 4: you to continue. Well, time will tell, but as of

961
00:46:15,280 --> 00:46:17,799
Speaker 4: right now, if you want this to work, I think

962
00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:19,960
Speaker 4: it's clear he wants this to work. The fact that

963
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:22,920
Speaker 4: you're open to him having a being involved in his

964
00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:26,879
Speaker 4: child's life that was had outside of your marriage, you're

965
00:46:26,880 --> 00:46:28,480
Speaker 4: a heck of a person, I think so. I think

966
00:46:28,520 --> 00:46:30,399
Speaker 4: you guys have got a shot. I think you can

967
00:46:30,520 --> 00:46:33,120
Speaker 4: do this if you both kind of recommit to each other.

968
00:46:33,160 --> 00:46:34,000
Speaker 4: I think there's hope.

969
00:46:34,520 --> 00:46:37,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, I also was thinking that too. It wasn't just

970
00:46:37,120 --> 00:46:40,280
Speaker 2: like a one time like I cheat. I was dumb

971
00:46:40,280 --> 00:46:42,319
Speaker 2: and I cheated. It was like a that was like

972
00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:43,840
Speaker 2: a continuation of him.

973
00:46:43,719 --> 00:46:45,000
Speaker 3: Making That's a lot of lying.

974
00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:47,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's a lot of that coming coming home

975
00:46:47,920 --> 00:46:52,040
Speaker 1: every night kissing you while they're who knows what with

976
00:46:52,080 --> 00:46:55,000
Speaker 1: somebody else. You know, it's like at what point do

977
00:46:55,320 --> 00:46:57,839
Speaker 1: what point were the lies? Like where did the lies start?

978
00:46:57,880 --> 00:46:59,759
Speaker 1: And where did the lies stop? You know, it's just

979
00:46:59,800 --> 00:47:04,040
Speaker 1: like a thinking. I mean, I would be it would

980
00:47:04,080 --> 00:47:04,840
Speaker 1: not go well with me.

981
00:47:05,640 --> 00:47:08,319
Speaker 6: It gives me hope that he admitted to it, like

982
00:47:08,320 --> 00:47:11,000
Speaker 6: that she didn't like find catch him or like find

983
00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:14,480
Speaker 6: something like he brought it up to her. That being said,

984
00:47:15,440 --> 00:47:17,960
Speaker 6: Mark and I have worked on a certain podcast about

985
00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:21,600
Speaker 6: someone who has tried to work past infidelity in a marriage,

986
00:47:21,600 --> 00:47:25,480
Speaker 6: and it just seemed every single minute of every single

987
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:28,319
Speaker 6: day was like work, and it just seems like so

988
00:47:28,560 --> 00:47:33,399
Speaker 6: exhausting and difficult, and you know it can be done,

989
00:47:33,440 --> 00:47:36,440
Speaker 6: but like at what costs? I don't know, is this

990
00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:38,239
Speaker 6: something she has to think about. That's so hard.

991
00:47:38,560 --> 00:47:40,880
Speaker 2: Yeah. I was gonna say that too, Like at what

992
00:47:41,080 --> 00:47:44,239
Speaker 2: point are you not even able to enjoy the relationship

993
00:47:44,239 --> 00:47:48,560
Speaker 2: because you're trying so hard to make it work or

994
00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:50,160
Speaker 2: you know, put it in trust?

995
00:47:50,200 --> 00:47:52,120
Speaker 1: And I also, you know, I in the email, she

996
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:54,120
Speaker 1: did say this is my person and I wanted to work.

997
00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:56,919
Speaker 1: But really think about that, like what is it about

998
00:47:56,920 --> 00:47:58,960
Speaker 1: the relationship that you wanted to work? You know, like

999
00:47:59,120 --> 00:48:02,439
Speaker 1: is it actually or is it the comfortability of being

1000
00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:04,960
Speaker 1: in a relationship and you know, working hard and spending

1001
00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:08,560
Speaker 1: so much time investing your time because I know sometimes

1002
00:48:08,600 --> 00:48:11,920
Speaker 1: that just the fear of starting over is what keeps

1003
00:48:11,920 --> 00:48:15,480
Speaker 1: people in relationships they don't necessarily want.

1004
00:48:15,800 --> 00:48:18,880
Speaker 4: And other lies, like all of the related lies are

1005
00:48:18,880 --> 00:48:20,480
Speaker 4: going to start to come up. Like there's gonna be

1006
00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:23,520
Speaker 4: moments when you're like, oh, we should check out that restaurant.

1007
00:48:23,560 --> 00:48:25,719
Speaker 3: He'll be like, oh I've been there, Yeah I've been

1008
00:48:25,719 --> 00:48:28,200
Speaker 3: there without you, Or oh, yeah, you went to Lake

1009
00:48:28,239 --> 00:48:30,160
Speaker 3: Taho last year, didn't you for work?

1010
00:48:30,200 --> 00:48:30,279
Speaker 4: No?

1011
00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:31,480
Speaker 3: I didn't. I was a lie.

1012
00:48:31,520 --> 00:48:35,080
Speaker 4: I was actually in Santa Monica with her at a hotel. Yeah,

1013
00:48:35,160 --> 00:48:36,799
Speaker 4: that stuff's going to come up, But man, that's going

1014
00:48:36,840 --> 00:48:37,879
Speaker 4: to be brutal every time.

1015
00:48:37,920 --> 00:48:39,400
Speaker 3: It's going to be reopening that wound.

1016
00:48:40,760 --> 00:48:44,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh my god, I just saw back and looking

1017
00:48:44,360 --> 00:48:46,280
Speaker 1: for a Taylor Swift song and I'm not prepared.

1018
00:48:46,680 --> 00:48:48,600
Speaker 3: Here we go, Taylor Swift song. What's going to be?

1019
00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:50,960
Speaker 3: She can really use a good one right now.

1020
00:48:51,239 --> 00:48:55,120
Speaker 2: Oh no, I'm trying to. I'm gonna say peace because

1021
00:48:55,120 --> 00:48:57,880
Speaker 2: I want her to find peace, whether it's like outside

1022
00:48:57,880 --> 00:48:59,880
Speaker 2: of the marriage or in her marriage. I hope she

1023
00:49:00,040 --> 00:49:07,479
Speaker 2: finds peace with herself and with her relationship whatever she chooses. God,

1024
00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:09,360
Speaker 2: that's a good one.

1025
00:49:11,880 --> 00:49:18,560
Speaker 1: Okay. I'm gonna go with wildest dreams. And my reason

1026
00:49:18,760 --> 00:49:25,919
Speaker 1: for this is because your wildest dreams are possible and

1027
00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:28,600
Speaker 1: it's not good.

1028
00:49:31,360 --> 00:49:35,600
Speaker 4: No, a random and then your backward justified No, Because.

1029
00:49:35,360 --> 00:49:37,440
Speaker 1: Like I wanted to know that, like her wildest dreams

1030
00:49:37,480 --> 00:49:38,360
Speaker 1: can be reality.

1031
00:49:38,480 --> 00:49:39,719
Speaker 2: Like she's exile.

1032
00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:44,880
Speaker 1: What's exile about? What's exile about?

1033
00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:51,400
Speaker 2: It's basically about someone who like they see their life

1034
00:49:51,480 --> 00:49:52,720
Speaker 2: like with another person.

1035
00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:56,040
Speaker 3: You know, I gave so many signs.

1036
00:49:56,080 --> 00:49:59,759
Speaker 2: I gave so many signs. What's the inn where she's like?

1037
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:02,400
Speaker 2: All this time? I never learned to read your mind.

1038
00:50:02,440 --> 00:50:05,759
Speaker 2: I couldn't turn things around you never gave a warning sign.

1039
00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:09,480
Speaker 1: My god, how about elicit affairs?

1040
00:50:10,120 --> 00:50:16,440
Speaker 4: Well, I mean it's a little on the nose, by

1041
00:50:16,440 --> 00:50:18,440
Speaker 4: the way, Tanya exile when that came out. That's the

1042
00:50:18,440 --> 00:50:20,200
Speaker 4: song that you said you needed to have in and.

1043
00:50:20,120 --> 00:50:20,799
Speaker 3: Around your mouth.

1044
00:50:21,440 --> 00:50:23,760
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I'm sorry, that's the Bonnie Bear song.

1045
00:50:25,120 --> 00:50:25,920
Speaker 2: Around her.

1046
00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:26,879
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1047
00:50:27,520 --> 00:50:29,439
Speaker 3: It's such a funny way to describe a song.

1048
00:50:29,560 --> 00:50:37,080
Speaker 1: I did. God that one. Okay, hmm, maybe this is

1049
00:50:37,239 --> 00:50:41,279
Speaker 1: maybe this is me trying. Oh, okay, good one like

1050
00:50:41,360 --> 00:50:45,400
Speaker 1: she's gonna try it. It's okay, just wan, I've.

1051
00:50:45,320 --> 00:50:47,399
Speaker 2: Just given that one before. I feel like that could

1052
00:50:47,400 --> 00:50:50,880
Speaker 2: be applied to every advice email we give someone trying.

1053
00:50:50,920 --> 00:50:52,040
Speaker 2: That's why they've reached out.

1054
00:50:52,160 --> 00:50:55,360
Speaker 1: So or stay beautiful, you know, just like wow, stay.

1055
00:50:55,239 --> 00:50:59,279
Speaker 2: All right, all right, we're good.

1056
00:51:00,960 --> 00:51:04,000
Speaker 1: All you had to do was stay like that's going

1057
00:51:04,080 --> 00:51:06,520
Speaker 1: to fire her up. That song is going to fire

1058
00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:06,839
Speaker 1: you up.

1059
00:51:06,880 --> 00:51:07,400
Speaker 2: If you need to be.

1060
00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:09,239
Speaker 1: Fired up, listen to that one. All you had to

1061
00:51:09,239 --> 00:51:09,719
Speaker 1: do was stay.

1062
00:51:09,800 --> 00:51:10,360
Speaker 3: All you had to.

1063
00:51:10,360 --> 00:51:11,200
Speaker 1: Do is be faithful.

1064
00:51:11,680 --> 00:51:17,640
Speaker 2: Should have said, now, all right, well, well you maybe

1065
00:51:17,680 --> 00:51:19,600
Speaker 2: you should study those or write amount just.

1066
00:51:19,600 --> 00:51:23,279
Speaker 4: So well, it's a serious situation. She needed about eight

1067
00:51:23,280 --> 00:51:25,040
Speaker 4: different tailor songs and yeah.

1068
00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:27,920
Speaker 1: True, she wants some to feel good, to feel fired up.

1069
00:51:28,080 --> 00:51:29,400
Speaker 3: You know, whole playlist for you.

1070
00:51:29,560 --> 00:51:30,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, there you go.

1071
00:51:31,280 --> 00:51:34,680
Speaker 2: All right, that'll be it. We'll be back Thursday. If

1072
00:51:34,719 --> 00:51:36,720
Speaker 2: we have a Thursday episode this week, so we will

1073
00:51:37,120 --> 00:51:42,759
Speaker 2: be back thirsty Thursday. I hope you all have a

1074
00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:45,799
Speaker 2: great beginning of the week. The Met Gala Is that

1075
00:51:45,840 --> 00:51:46,600
Speaker 2: happening right now?

1076
00:51:46,800 --> 00:51:47,239
Speaker 1: Sure is?

1077
00:51:48,120 --> 00:51:50,120
Speaker 3: Literally as we speak, the red carpet is happening.

1078
00:51:50,160 --> 00:51:52,440
Speaker 1: Oh wow, Yeah, I saw some early sneak peaks of

1079
00:51:52,520 --> 00:51:53,720
Speaker 1: Joe Jonason, Sophie Turner.

1080
00:51:53,760 --> 00:51:56,680
Speaker 2: Oh I saw that too. Yeah, yeah, I never understand

1081
00:51:56,719 --> 00:52:00,200
Speaker 2: it fully, but like you know, it's it's something that

1082
00:52:00,320 --> 00:52:03,000
Speaker 2: if you're if you're follow the right people, you're forced

1083
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:05,239
Speaker 2: to see and be a part of something.

1084
00:52:05,000 --> 00:52:08,360
Speaker 1: To strive for to go there. Yeah, it'd be so cute.

1085
00:52:09,880 --> 00:52:12,440
Speaker 2: All right. Well, on that note, hope you all have

1086
00:52:12,520 --> 00:52:14,640
Speaker 2: a great day. We love you. We'll see Thursday.

1087
00:52:14,920 --> 00:52:16,480
Speaker 1: Love you.