Speaker 1: Hey, folks, it's Lyle. Before we get into the episode,
Speaker 1: I wanted to talk to you guys about a new
Speaker 1: thing I'm doing where you can help support my lizard
Speaker 1: endeavors by becoming a premium member of this podcast over
Speaker 1: at Therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. Premium members, or
Speaker 1: gek Legends as I call them, we'll be able to
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Speaker 1: a month, a bonus live show episode once a month
Speaker 1: from all of the live shows I've been doing around
Speaker 1: the world, a member's only live stream once a month.
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Speaker 1: and also supporting my ability to occasionally go eat a
Speaker 1: slice of pizza. Go to Therapy Gecko dot supercast dot
Speaker 1: com or find the link in the episode description to
Speaker 1: become a gek legend. Today. All right, let's get into
Speaker 1: the episode.
Speaker 2: Hello, Hi, is this good?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Who is this?
Speaker 2: This is Brandon. How are you doing tonight?
Speaker 1: Ah? Man, I'm doing uh pretty all right.
Speaker 4: Man.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm here to talk to some people on the
Speaker 1: phone and be a lizard and learn about folks in
Speaker 1: the world who aren't me, And uh, you aren't me.
Speaker 1: You're a your brandon. You're a separate entity from I,
Speaker 1: and I would love to know what's going on with you.
Speaker 1: Is there a thing in particular that you called in
Speaker 1: to talk about? It's okay if.
Speaker 2: Not there is, I commented in your chat. So me
Speaker 2: and my girlfriend are burt both currently crippled right now.
Speaker 1: You and your girlfriend are crippled right now?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: What what are you? What are you crippled with?
Speaker 2: So I'm pretty sure I just tore my ACL and
Speaker 2: my m CL again, do you want to see yours?
Speaker 2: And she's just having lady problems. We're gonna just put
Speaker 2: it like that.
Speaker 1: She's having her she's what does that means? She having
Speaker 1: her period? Because I don't know if that counts as
Speaker 1: being crippled.
Speaker 2: No, it's gynecologists though.
Speaker 1: Okay, she has a broken vagina? Yes, how did you
Speaker 1: is she? Can I talk to her real quick?
Speaker 3: Yeah? She can hear you.
Speaker 1: Hey, what's your name, Megan? How did you break your vagina?
Speaker 5: So I get these types of CIS and basically I've
Speaker 5: had to get it cut open about five times and uh, so, yeah,
Speaker 5: I can't get out of bed because yeah, I don't
Speaker 5: want to get super into it. But it's really fucked up, Like,
Speaker 5: it's really fucked up.
Speaker 1: What is so? Is so it's a cyst? Is it
Speaker 1: inside of your vagina?
Speaker 5: Yes?
Speaker 1: That sounds crazy. But wait, so when you cut open
Speaker 1: as cyst on the inside of your vagina, you're creating
Speaker 1: a vagina inside of your vagina. Yes, vaginaception, it's vagina exception.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna get asked too. I'm not joking.
Speaker 1: No, I don't think this is something you would joke about.
Speaker 3: Do you want to?
Speaker 5: If you want to look it up, it's called a
Speaker 5: barcelon cyst.
Speaker 1: You know what, I don't you know what?
Speaker 3: Fuck?
Speaker 1: I don't care. I'll yeah. How do you spell it?
Speaker 5: B A R T H O L I and cyst?
Speaker 1: Bartholin cyst? All right? Do I dare click images? Well,
Speaker 1: I'm an adult, so I can handle it. Oh, okay,
Speaker 1: so I'm saying this, Okay, you know what? This kind
Speaker 1: of looks like This kind of looks like a p
Speaker 1: and a pod.
Speaker 3: True.
Speaker 2: True, And it's.
Speaker 1: On the inside of a but oh this looks incredibly painful.
Speaker 1: How did you when did you find out that you
Speaker 1: had this.
Speaker 5: I've been having them for about a year.
Speaker 1: You've been having them, there's been multiple bar Yes, Bart Simpson,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna call them Bart Simpsons. I'm sorry say that again.
Speaker 5: I've had five on the right and two on the left.
Speaker 1: You had five of the You had five of these
Speaker 1: motherfuckers like at a time. You had seven at.
Speaker 5: A time, not at a time throughout the year.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, how have you not killed yourself already?
Speaker 5: Smoking some weed?
Speaker 6: Okay?
Speaker 1: Do you have like a where do you what? What's
Speaker 1: what state do you live in?
Speaker 3: Texas?
Speaker 1: Uh? Do you do you get medical marijuana for? Is
Speaker 1: that like a no? Dude, come on, if they see look,
Speaker 1: if you show the weed card guy, the giant cyst
Speaker 1: on your vagina, he's got to give you some weed.
Speaker 5: I fucking hope.
Speaker 1: Does it help with the pain? Yeah?
Speaker 5: I was high last one. I have high for a week.
Speaker 1: You were high for Oh you you were high for
Speaker 1: like that whole week?
Speaker 5: Yes?
Speaker 1: So when have you ever had multiple of them on
Speaker 1: there at a time or is it just one?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 5: Just like it looks like like I had like balls.
Speaker 1: It looks like your vagina has balls.
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Man, how big was this cyst that it looked like
Speaker 1: a ball is.
Speaker 5: The size of a golfbel Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Now let me ask you, and look, I'm sorry, I'm
Speaker 1: asking you to tell me a lot about this because
Speaker 1: I'm curious.
Speaker 5: But well, it's not a thing that's known a why
Speaker 5: about side? You know, I'm happy to share about it.
Speaker 1: You're spreading awareness some something. Listen, somebody is listening to
Speaker 1: this podcast right now and going, oh, that's what that
Speaker 1: is on my vagina. I should go see a doctor
Speaker 1: about that. I mean, you know, and you're saving that
Speaker 1: person's life by being open about this. So you're a hero.
Speaker 1: What can I does it? Do you guys still have
Speaker 1: sex even with the thing? No? I assume it makes
Speaker 1: sex very painful. Yes, what did he just say?
Speaker 5: Being an asshole?
Speaker 1: Is your kind of cologist a guy or a girl?
Speaker 5: It's a girl.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 5: So I had gone today and there was my best
Speaker 5: friend who's gay, and then I had the doctor, then
Speaker 5: I had the nurse, and then I had a person
Speaker 5: who was learning in the room as well. So I
Speaker 5: had like four people looking at my vagina at the
Speaker 5: same time.
Speaker 1: You had an audience for this thing.
Speaker 5: I'm mean, at that point it hurts so bad you
Speaker 5: don't care.
Speaker 1: I mean it is kind of a I mean it.
Speaker 1: I mean I'm looking at it right now. I mean
Speaker 1: I'm not yours. I'm not looking at yours, but I'm
Speaker 1: looking at a vagina with a cyst on it, and
Speaker 1: it is it is kind of a spectacle.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's fuck, it's really fucky. And there's no cure
Speaker 5: for it.
Speaker 1: Is it cutting it open?
Speaker 4: The cure?
Speaker 5: I'm like the want of educating you right now. So
Speaker 5: there's this thing called a word capitter that basically fills
Speaker 5: in the hole for about four weeks and so and
Speaker 5: your body healed from the inside out. So it's trying
Speaker 5: to clear it. But since they haven't done research on
Speaker 5: women's bodies until about the seventies, they don't know the cause,
Speaker 5: they don't know how to stop it, and like the
Speaker 5: most extreme is to remove both the glands through surgery.
Speaker 1: Is that true that they didn't do medical research on
Speaker 1: female bodies until when nineteen seventy?
Speaker 7: Yeah?
Speaker 5: About huh, like in depth?
Speaker 1: So, uh, when here's the thing. When they cut off
Speaker 1: the cyst, what do they do with it?
Speaker 5: No, they'll cut it off, they like drain it.
Speaker 1: Oh, okay, what do they do with the puss. Do
Speaker 1: you think that's do you do you think that's any
Speaker 1: guy's like thing? Like, there's there's gotta be some guy
Speaker 1: out there who's bart thought bart bart what is it called?
Speaker 5: Well, what's that thing where it's like there's.
Speaker 1: A porn for anything, there's a Yeah, there's some guy
Speaker 1: out there who's a bartisianal cyst puss guy, like it's
Speaker 1: his dream to use the pus from a bartisanal cyst
Speaker 1: as lube. Sorry, I don't know why I'm just saying
Speaker 1: these things. I don't know. I'm not saying that's me.
Speaker 1: I'm saying that there's you. You said it yourself. Hold
Speaker 1: on you, hold on, hold on, hold on, you said yourself.
Speaker 1: If it exists as part of it, you brought that. No,
Speaker 1: I'm guessing right now. No, No, I was. I was. This
Speaker 1: was one hundred percent my idea. Will take the blame
Speaker 1: for bringing this up.
Speaker 5: Hey, we give you money, we can do you show
Speaker 5: in Dallas.
Speaker 1: Came to my show in Dallas.
Speaker 2: That was our first date and we are dating now,
Speaker 2: so I owe you a thank you.
Speaker 1: But that was your first date.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Hey, it was phenomenal in my opinion, she said,
Speaker 2: that was the best day she's ever been on.
Speaker 1: Oh really? Well, well, okay, what did you Was that
Speaker 1: because your boyfriend was being all cool and slick or
Speaker 1: did you just like the show or both both?
Speaker 5: And we got roman afterwards.
Speaker 1: That sounds fun. I'm glad you guys liked it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that was that was fun.
Speaker 5: The guy talking about netting on an ant who.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I do remember that guy talking about poor ans Man.
Speaker 1: This is that, you know, I make it. This is
Speaker 1: a great ad for the tour. Just making a passing
Speaker 1: comment about the guys.
Speaker 3: Everyone everyone goes.
Speaker 5: It's funny.
Speaker 2: Everyone's got to go. It builds relationships.
Speaker 1: Well, so, okay, so when that was, that was kind
Speaker 1: of recent, right, Like, so you guys are there's a
Speaker 1: month ago. Well, I'm not gonna lie. You guys sound
Speaker 1: like you've been dating. I mean, look, you've been through
Speaker 1: a lot together. Trauma.
Speaker 5: Seven hundred milligrams of stuff drained out of his knee yesterday.
Speaker 1: Actually okay, all right, so let's talk about you. And
Speaker 1: so you have like a kne cist.
Speaker 2: Okay, so you have a bunch of tendons that are
Speaker 2: inside your knee that hold your knee in place and
Speaker 2: allows it to move, and they're really common pairs within athletes.
Speaker 2: And I had surgery on it last year around this time.
Speaker 5: Something playing flag football.
Speaker 3: Sure not.
Speaker 1: Playing flag football the inter real sports for our college.
Speaker 1: I you know what I gotta say, though, Like, here's
Speaker 1: the thing, even though you torir racl, you can never
Speaker 1: complain to her because her like look, but hers is
Speaker 1: way worse.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, I've already told her that.
Speaker 1: So what have you guys been doing? I mean you guys,
Speaker 1: I mean, can you guys? Can either of you walk?
Speaker 2: So I just hurt my knee this last Friday, so
Speaker 2: I've just been having the rewalk. I'm just off the
Speaker 2: crutches now and I just kind of limp around with
Speaker 2: a really big brace. And she can't really walk very
Speaker 2: well today. So it was me limping around in her
Speaker 2: kitchen cooking her dinner tonight, but last weekend it was
Speaker 2: her cooking dinner for me.
Speaker 1: That's sweet. You guys really are trauma bonding with all
Speaker 1: the stuff that there's enough puss being drained out of
Speaker 1: both of you guys to make the guy with the
Speaker 1: vagina cist fetish and some girl with a kneist fetish
Speaker 1: very happy.
Speaker 2: We could make money.
Speaker 1: You could, but you'd probably is that legal? That's got
Speaker 1: to be illegal right to sell? Actually, you guys want
Speaker 1: to fund I I I a long time, maybe like
Speaker 1: a couple of years ago. I sold my bath water
Speaker 1: on my website, theret gecko dot com, and in doing
Speaker 1: so I had to look up the legality of selling
Speaker 1: bodily fluids because you know, like there were flakes of
Speaker 1: skin and hair in there, and I think you can't,
Speaker 1: Like you can't sell piss or blood over with shopify,
Speaker 1: but I think bathwater is okay, and I would I don't.
Speaker 1: You probably can't sell your puss on the internet.
Speaker 5: I saw a lady today sell bags of her burps
Speaker 5: for fifty.
Speaker 1: Dollars bags of burps? Where did you see that?
Speaker 5: On tick cook? She also sold her cast one time
Speaker 5: for fifteen thousand dollars.
Speaker 1: Her cast.
Speaker 5: Yeah, she had broken her leg and she's got it
Speaker 5: when it was healed. She gave the sold the cast
Speaker 5: of the guys for fifteen thousand dollars.
Speaker 1: What do you what do you think about that? Do
Speaker 1: you think that that's sad or do you think that's happy?
Speaker 5: I think that's honestly kind of baller, just.
Speaker 1: A bird, No, I mean like, is it like, is
Speaker 1: it a set? Do you think it's oh for the guy,
Speaker 1: for the well, both of them. Look, that transaction would
Speaker 1: not have transpired were it not mutually agreed upon by
Speaker 1: both parties to be beneficial.
Speaker 5: Was she's a dominatrix?
Speaker 1: All right? So he probably had I do you think
Speaker 1: he's like jacking off, like rubbing the cast on his dick?
Speaker 1: What he's doing?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 8: Oh yeah, you see know look you say and you've
Speaker 8: been you guys have been saying, but look it probably
Speaker 8: it made it probably made that guy very happy to
Speaker 8: jerk off onto this girl's sweaty cast, and it probably
Speaker 8: made her very happy to sell it for fifteen dollars.
Speaker 1: I think that's a great I think that's a beautiful story.
Speaker 1: It makes people like will make fucking comments on the
Speaker 1: internet and be like, oh this is people. Guys are
Speaker 1: paying fifteen thousand dollars for a girl's cast. What does
Speaker 1: society come to? I think that's a I think that's
Speaker 1: a happy story of two people really getting what they
Speaker 1: wanted out of life. I think it's a beautiful thing.
Speaker 5: You know what, that's true?
Speaker 1: Understanding, man, So you guys have only been together for
Speaker 1: a month, where did you guys meet each other?
Speaker 2: I think Kim's Actually, did.
Speaker 1: You guys both know about me? Before going to the
Speaker 1: one of you?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 5: No, I was listening about you. He watched you more
Speaker 5: than I did.
Speaker 2: I watch you a lot. I love the podcast.
Speaker 1: What do You?
Speaker 2: What?
Speaker 1: Did did you guys go on a second date? What
Speaker 1: was the second date? Was it to the guy in
Speaker 1: the collegist office? What did we do?
Speaker 2: I think we just hung out in myth place?
Speaker 3: We did?
Speaker 5: I don't even know there.
Speaker 2: We've been hanging out like every day since, so we're
Speaker 2: not even sure.
Speaker 1: Oh that's so nice. That's so nice.
Speaker 5: What she was in my class last semester.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's another thing. We had a big lecture together.
Speaker 2: It was like one hundred and seventy people, and I said,
Speaker 2: like seven rows behind her, and I noticed her because
Speaker 2: she's covered and she has twenty tattoos, and I noticed
Speaker 2: her and I thought she was really pretty. But I
Speaker 2: was too scared to ever go up and say anything
Speaker 2: because I'm awkward at first. But you know what ended
Speaker 2: up working out.
Speaker 1: You guys are in college. Yeah, in my head, I
Speaker 1: don't know why, but in my head, I imagine you
Speaker 1: guys both being like thirty five years old.
Speaker 2: No, she's twenty one.
Speaker 1: I'm twenty all right, Well, how did you what do you?
Speaker 1: Guys go to school for a psychology with.
Speaker 2: A minor and human services and I'm a marketing.
Speaker 1: Major psychology with it. What is human services?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 5: Like social workers?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Kind of like the it's it's just an auto. I'm
Speaker 5: trying to get my masthew's degree for therapy for teens
Speaker 5: and young adults.
Speaker 1: I like that. Do you think that the pain that
Speaker 1: you were going through now is somehow like like do
Speaker 1: you think it will brace you for the hardships that
Speaker 1: people come to you with? Well?
Speaker 5: Yeah, so one thing I've learned is like therapists need therapist. Yeah,
Speaker 5: so I feel like I understand more because I the
Speaker 5: reason I picked that age grip is when I really
Speaker 5: really struggle as a teenagers, so I felt like I
Speaker 5: could connect with people's so well about that?
Speaker 1: I like that, man, I like that. What are you like?
Speaker 1: So you want to be like a talk therapist?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Nice? And what do you what do.
Speaker 2: You want with the degree?
Speaker 1: Me with a degree, I hope I I for your sake,
Speaker 1: I hope you achieve far greater than being just me
Speaker 1: with a degree and you want to be Are you
Speaker 1: trying to be like the social media manager for Taco Bell?
Speaker 1: What's your deal?
Speaker 2: Honestly, No, I'm trying to work for you, gig. I'm
Speaker 2: trying to be your marketing major. I'm trying to get you.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to book you shows. I'm gonna put you
Speaker 2: on I'm gonna work on your social media account.
Speaker 1: How do you what's your what's give me a give
Speaker 1: me a gorilla marketing plan to get people to come, uh,
Speaker 1: to get more people to listen to this podcast.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're gonna get some get condoms rolling out. We're
Speaker 2: gonna go throw them all around the streets. We're gonna
Speaker 2: get more TikTok ads going around.
Speaker 1: By the way, the condom things sounded like it was
Speaker 1: her idea.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're a team here, We're a team here. But
Speaker 2: I would stick to social media because most of the
Speaker 2: people we met at your shows all found you on
Speaker 2: social media. And then one of my favorite YouTube videos
Speaker 2: that you did is.
Speaker 1: When you it'd be weird if somebody said that they
Speaker 1: found me through a condom.
Speaker 2: I think that'd be a great way to find you.
Speaker 5: Weird thinking about you.
Speaker 1: And yeah, that's why it's just my face like that
Speaker 1: get stare emo is the wrapper. The actual kindom is
Speaker 1: like scent, like sweaty mild. Yeah what what what you
Speaker 1: You were about to say something about a YouTube video.
Speaker 2: You're doing great with the YouTube videos, with the travels.
Speaker 2: Like my favorite YouTube videos is when you had a
Speaker 2: midlife crisis and you went to Guatemala.
Speaker 1: Yeah, man, fuck, I you know I have I I
Speaker 1: went to Japan and I shot all this cool stuff
Speaker 1: and I want to edit it. I got That's what
Speaker 1: I wanted. My macro focus for this year is this tour,
Speaker 1: and then I think next year I'm gonna be doing
Speaker 1: a lot more like of that.
Speaker 3: Kind of ship.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I gotta dude, I gotta DM. I don't know
Speaker 1: if I talked about this fort I got a DM
Speaker 1: from some guy on Instagram being like, hey, man, I
Speaker 1: live in Pakistan. You should come through and we'll hang
Speaker 1: out and I'll show you around and look. I didn't respond,
Speaker 1: but a part of me was like, fuck, man, I
Speaker 1: could just go to Pakistan and film a little video.
Speaker 1: I don't know what that would be like.
Speaker 2: I would love to travel the world personally. So that
Speaker 2: sounds like you haven't made.
Speaker 1: Well I don't know if well. Look the second that
Speaker 1: you know I'm staring at a condom with my face
Speaker 1: on it is when I will, I will, I will
Speaker 1: declare myself having had it made. Well, I'm you know. Look,
Speaker 1: here's the thing, here's the thing. Yes, I have, I
Speaker 1: traveled to Guatemala, I'm doing shows all around the universe.
Speaker 1: But you know what, stuff like this, the fact that this,
Speaker 1: this humble little podcast was able to create just such
Speaker 1: a such a beautiful budding romance, it warms my hearts.
Speaker 1: So thank you guys for calling in and sharing.
Speaker 3: This and no gig.
Speaker 2: I've been calling for probably the past year and I've
Speaker 2: never got in, so this is great.
Speaker 1: What is what are both of your guys names? Again,
Speaker 1: Brandon and Meghan Megan. I say this with full sincerity.
Speaker 1: I am sorry about your vagina.
Speaker 4: Thank you.
Speaker 2: I appreciate it, and I would like to announce the chat.
Speaker 2: This was not my fault. What was what faults for vagina?
Speaker 2: I did not cause it?
Speaker 1: Oh wait, we're people were people in the chat saying
Speaker 1: that you somehow.
Speaker 2: Blew us a few I'm from basketball.
Speaker 1: Okay, because I was gonna say if you guys were
Speaker 1: doing some kind of weird, like what's it called Karma
Speaker 1: Sutra pose where you were impaling her vagina with your
Speaker 1: sister knee and see somehow called it from man? I
Speaker 1: you know. I mean, you guys are adults, live your life.
Speaker 1: Is there anything else you guys want to say? Is
Speaker 1: to the people of the computer before we go on.
Speaker 2: GEG Greens relationships together. Guys go to a GEG show
Speaker 2: and you're going to meet a girl.
Speaker 3: That's all I gotta say in it. Go ahead.
Speaker 1: I can't I can't guarantee that, but it's perfect. Get
Speaker 1: any final thoughts?
Speaker 3: Mm hmm.
Speaker 2: Thank you Greg.
Speaker 1: Hey, you guys take care. Thank you very much for calling.
Speaker 3: Have good night you two.
Speaker 1: Hello, Hey, oh my god.
Speaker 3: Hello, how are you?
Speaker 1: I'm doing pretty good? Man, how are you?
Speaker 6: I'm great. Emily wouldn't believe it, Emily calling to her now?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Who's who's Emily?
Speaker 6: Ema? That's my girlfriend. I've been talking. I started get
Speaker 6: Indie recently. I've always been telling you about her, and
Speaker 6: I try to get her to listen to you. But
Speaker 6: she said it was like nonsense or something, So I
Speaker 6: say that love.
Speaker 1: Oh, professor, Look I'm not I'm not offended by you
Speaker 1: saying it's not. I don't know. If she can hear me,
Speaker 1: she can talk to her real quick. Can I talk
Speaker 1: to her real quick?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Here, Hello, I'm not offended that you said it was nonsense.
Speaker 1: You don't have it's okay, I don't it's sometimes is nonsense.
Speaker 1: I agree with you.
Speaker 7: Sometimes it is nonsense, but it's whatever. Like I don't mind.
Speaker 7: All right, I don't watch it a lot anymore.
Speaker 1: Did it did it devolve into nonsense? Did it start?
Speaker 7: Since that's what he took out of the conversation.
Speaker 1: Tell what what? What was the conversation?
Speaker 2: I tried.
Speaker 6: I tried to play you. We were out one time
Speaker 6: and I was in the car and I said, oh,
Speaker 6: let's listen to therapy. Get go on the way home.
Speaker 6: And she said something like, I don't want to listen
Speaker 6: to some gecko talk about some nonsense.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And by the way, that's that's I know. I'm
Speaker 1: not offended by that. That's the most That's so fair, okay,
Speaker 1: because look, I'm a gecko and I'm talking about nonsense
Speaker 1: all the time. I'm I am blessed with the fact
Speaker 1: that enough people exist in the universe that want to
Speaker 1: hear a gecko talk about nonsense that I am afforded
Speaker 1: the ability to do this. But I would be insane
Speaker 1: to think that everybody in the universe wants to hear
Speaker 1: a gecko talk about nonsense all the time. So I
Speaker 1: get I'm not offended.
Speaker 6: It's it's you know, it's it's reluctive. I understand.
Speaker 7: At the point in time, I'd rather listen to music
Speaker 7: and not a podcast when we're on our way to
Speaker 7: get grocery.
Speaker 1: You know, I can sing. Do you want me to
Speaker 1: sing more in the podcast? And then maybe you'd want
Speaker 1: to listen to it more.
Speaker 7: I mean, don't do stuff for me, but that would
Speaker 7: be what's.
Speaker 1: Your favorite what's your favorite song? I'll sing it right now.
Speaker 7: Oh god, that's a that's a hard question. You can't
Speaker 7: put me on the spot like that.
Speaker 1: Just what's the song you like?
Speaker 5: Now?
Speaker 1: What's the song you've been listening to? I'll sing it.
Speaker 7: What's the song Michael Zipper by Brackhampton.
Speaker 1: I don't know what the fuck that is? So anyway,
Speaker 1: I am.
Speaker 3: I okay, go ahead, go ahead.
Speaker 1: What do you know? You you were the one that
Speaker 1: called me, You tell me what you wanted to talk about.
Speaker 6: Well, I guess there's a couple different things. I could
Speaker 6: always talk I mean, well, I guess essentially mentioned groceries.
Speaker 6: I can talk to you about one problem I've been
Speaker 6: having that people in my life, including my girlfriend, and
Speaker 6: getting upset with me about. Then you can give me
Speaker 6: your two cents. So I think I have a slight
Speaker 6: addiction to stealing from the grocery store.
Speaker 1: Ah, you're a klecto. Yeah, what are you stealing?
Speaker 6: Pretty much all the food we get? So, like my
Speaker 6: problem is, uh, I don't go grocery shopping until we're
Speaker 6: like out of everything because I'm lazy. And the grocery
Speaker 6: store which shall remain nameless, that I've been going to
Speaker 6: near my house, I noticed that, like the staff is
Speaker 6: very very low staff, very young staff that doesn't really
Speaker 6: care as to what's going on. So I figured I
Speaker 6: can just totally scan two or three cheap things and
Speaker 6: be on my way. And that's what I've been doing.
Speaker 6: And I save about eighty to ninety dollars every grocery trip.
Speaker 6: And you know, grocery shit's expensive now now, Yeah, you
Speaker 6: know I like that.
Speaker 1: I like that You've the way that you've phrased it
Speaker 1: is amazing. You're like, I save eighty I've saved eighty
Speaker 1: to ninety dollars per grocery trip instead of saying I
Speaker 1: steal eighty to ninety dollars worth of stuff every grocery trip.
Speaker 6: Well, you know, it's it's I think it's just one
Speaker 6: of those one of those things where I mean, we're nineteen,
Speaker 6: we only just moved into this apartment about six months
Speaker 6: ago ish, and you know, money can get tight sometimes
Speaker 6: and you gotta say, you gotta do what you gotta do.
Speaker 6: And you know, I mean, I don't is it a
Speaker 6: problem that I don't feel bad?
Speaker 1: Well, I look, I'm not gonna judge you. I don't
Speaker 1: you know, well, okay, you don't feel about what are you?
Speaker 1: What are you stealing? And by the way, there's the
Speaker 1: thing is I've never I dude, I've never understood like
Speaker 1: it should theoretically, theoretically it should be so fucking easy
Speaker 1: to steal from stores, right because nobody, like nobody in
Speaker 1: the grocery store at the time that you're stealing shit,
Speaker 1: has any true like steak in whether or not people steal,
Speaker 1: like the like the person who's getting paid minimum wage
Speaker 1: to bag your groceries, What the fuck do they care
Speaker 1: if you steal anything, right, Like it doesn't come out
Speaker 1: of their paycheck. They're not, you know, I don't know
Speaker 1: if they they the grocery store gives them stock options
Speaker 1: or whatever, so I don't they To me, I would
Speaker 1: think they have no level of investment as to whether
Speaker 1: or not you steal, So it should theoretically be super easy.
Speaker 1: I've never understood, like, you know, like if I worked
Speaker 1: at like best Buy, I'd let people steal TVs all
Speaker 1: the time. Who what do I give a fuck?
Speaker 6: Right, Yeah, there's no reason to play hero. You're not
Speaker 6: You're not gonna get any more money.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, So what I mean, tell me what
Speaker 1: are you stealing?
Speaker 6: Pretty much all the necessities you need when you go
Speaker 6: grocery store. I mean, you know, all of our frozen foods,
Speaker 6: all the foods we get. We just I just got yesterday.
Speaker 6: I went and I got a like toilet paper and
Speaker 6: like water bottles and stuff, so pretty much anything you
Speaker 6: would get on your regular big grocery trip. And like
Speaker 6: I said, it's like threas in a play. So much
Speaker 6: at once is because I get lazy and I don't
Speaker 6: like go to the store until like I need to,
Speaker 6: and I'm like pretty much out of everything. You know,
Speaker 6: we have a problem where we run out of food
Speaker 6: and pretty much this door dash for a straight week.
Speaker 6: So it's like at some point it gets to be like,
Speaker 6: all right, I need to stop wasting all this money
Speaker 6: on door dash, and.
Speaker 1: So your door dash, your door dashing for a whole week.
Speaker 6: Maybe not a whole week, I'm not the exaggeration, but like.
Speaker 1: Door dashing every day for a week costs like five
Speaker 1: hundred dollars.
Speaker 6: Okay, yeah, so maybe not a whole week with exaggerating,
Speaker 6: but like you know, days on ending, right, or like
Speaker 6: a couple of days out of the week, and we realize,
Speaker 6: you know, it's better, let's just go get some groceries
Speaker 6: because I'm just so god in lazy and I also
Speaker 6: want to uh not spend a bunch of money on groceries.
Speaker 6: So I, you know, and do what you gotta do.
Speaker 1: Are you how are you stealing them? Exactly? Are you
Speaker 1: bringing them to the self check out them?
Speaker 6: Right?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 6: I do have a process, and you know, given the
Speaker 6: the the the way the grocery store is and makes
Speaker 6: it very easy. So there's like there's one like registered person, right,
Speaker 6: and then there's like I would say probably eight self checkouts,
Speaker 6: so there's only one person up front that like isn't
Speaker 6: paying attention as to what's going on. And then the
Speaker 6: other problem though, is that so every self checkout right
Speaker 6: has a big like HD camera on it that's like
Speaker 6: looking right at you. You can pretty much see. It's
Speaker 6: like a self it's a face camera, you can see it.
Speaker 6: So I just make sure that the shopping cart is
Speaker 6: like totally out of frame, and then I will scan
Speaker 6: like I don't know, like some sugar or something, a
Speaker 6: couple of few things, spend like ten dollars, and the
Speaker 6: receipt will come out quickly, put it in my pocket,
Speaker 6: and then just walk out as if nothing happened, and
Speaker 6: nobody notices, nobody says anything. You know, it's usually pretty
Speaker 6: empty anyway, So that's kind of my process. You know,
Speaker 6: if anyone is listening and is planning on stealing groceries
Speaker 6: or like to, that's uh the way to do it
Speaker 6: in my eyes.
Speaker 1: At least, they make it so easy with these self
Speaker 1: checkout things. I don't know what, Who are the fuck's
Speaker 1: watching these, dude, that's just nobody's watching that camera.
Speaker 6: Exactly like they put them there to intimidate you but
Speaker 6: nobody's actually fucking watching them.
Speaker 1: Is it bad that you don't feel bad? That was
Speaker 1: your question. I mean, uh, dude, I don't know. I am.
Speaker 1: I am far and away not a moral authority, So
Speaker 1: I'm not going to tell you how to feel.
Speaker 6: I don't I don't think stealing from these billion dollar quarters.
Speaker 6: I don't think they're meat stealing seventy dollars in the
Speaker 6: product and these spelling dollar corporations isn't going to fucking
Speaker 6: ruin their business, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, all right, well, well let's say everybody
Speaker 1: did it, right, Let's say everybody stole all of their groceries,
Speaker 1: then the grocery shopping industry would collapse.
Speaker 3: You're right, you're right.
Speaker 6: But luckily, like most people that go here honestly are
Speaker 6: like like old people, and they just, you know, just
Speaker 6: buy all their stuff because they they're older, and you know,
Speaker 6: they're old and don't know anything better.
Speaker 1: But I think because they're old and they don't they
Speaker 1: don't know any better, that they can just fucking.
Speaker 6: Take the problem right now, is lying that my girlfriend,
Speaker 6: she she doesn't want to go, she doesn't go to
Speaker 6: the grocery work with me anymore. Because she gets very
Speaker 6: anxious that we're gonna get caught. And that's what makes
Speaker 6: me feel a little bad.
Speaker 1: Okay, have you ever gotten close to getting caught?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 6: Not at least not in my eyes. No, it's it's
Speaker 6: like the problem, it's that's the reason why I keep
Speaker 6: doing it is that it's like too easy. Like they
Speaker 6: almost set it up as if like they know they're
Speaker 6: going to lose money. I don't get it, Like they're like,
Speaker 6: why not just fucking employe some more like cashiers, you know,
Speaker 6: get some more workers in there, get people some more money,
Speaker 6: and they'll stop losing as much money. Because I guarantee
Speaker 6: you they're like them having self checkout lines is losing
Speaker 6: them way more money if they were to just employ
Speaker 6: a couple of people.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure the most people who walk into
Speaker 1: Target uh pay for their things. Uh, and enough people
Speaker 1: probably don't, and like a few enough people steal that
Speaker 1: it's really that much of an issue. Although I have
Speaker 1: absolutely no idea what I'm talking about, I know, like.
Speaker 6: They lost like maybe it was like a crazy amount
Speaker 6: of dollars yearly in profits because people are stealing.
Speaker 1: I do what. There's like the funny thing is is
Speaker 1: we're too idiots just talking about that. Like, there's economists
Speaker 1: right who have written articles of of like does steal
Speaker 1: that's an interesting question. Does stealing from Walmart or like
Speaker 1: big corporations? Does it somehow trickle down to affect people
Speaker 1: other than just like the folks who you don't have
Speaker 1: stock in the company. I don't know.
Speaker 6: I don't think it does.
Speaker 3: What do you like?
Speaker 1: Give me? Give me, give me an example of an item.
Speaker 1: You stole steak, you still a steak.
Speaker 6: I still steak. I stole I stole three steaks. I
Speaker 6: ground chicken. I stole a bunch of frozen food. I
Speaker 6: stole a pack of water, toilet paper, fucking a couple
Speaker 6: of bags of French fries, like some bags of chicken,
Speaker 6: just pretty much like I said, I mean anything you
Speaker 6: would go in a regular grocery trip. I mean, luckily,
Speaker 6: you know, it's just the two of us. It's not
Speaker 6: like a big family, so we don't need like a
Speaker 6: ton of groceries. Where Like, I'm afraid if it, like
Speaker 6: the cart was like totally like loaded, then it would
Speaker 6: be a lot harder to do this. But luckily it's not.
Speaker 6: It's not like an insane amount of grocery because it's
Speaker 6: just me and her, you know what I mean. So,
Speaker 6: but yeah, pretty much everything. And you know, because it's
Speaker 6: gone to the point where like it's almost as if,
Speaker 6: like when you go to the store, when I go
Speaker 6: to the store, release, I don't have to think about
Speaker 6: what I'm getting because I'm not buying it, so I
Speaker 6: just think something, Oh, that thing's find of cool.
Speaker 1: I'll but that, you know, well, I'll say that, I'll
Speaker 1: say that. I'll say this. The quickest way to you
Speaker 1: getting super caught is to get so used to stealing
Speaker 1: that when they do catch you, you're like, oh, fuck, I
Speaker 1: forgot that this was even like illegal. This is just
Speaker 1: so part of my routine going to the grocery store
Speaker 1: that I forgot. Don't get to that point, because that's
Speaker 1: that's right, that's when people get you know. That's all right?
Speaker 1: Tell me this, Tell that do you have a do
Speaker 1: you do you have a job? Do you have any money?
Speaker 1: What's your job?
Speaker 3: I delivered pizza, all right.
Speaker 1: And now you don't give a fuck if people, like,
Speaker 1: if people came to your pizza shop and stole pizza,
Speaker 1: you wouldn't give a fuck.
Speaker 6: No, what would have care?
Speaker 1: Mm hmm do you do you make decent enough money
Speaker 1: delivering pizzas that you could pay for the groceries if
Speaker 1: you wanted to?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 6: Yeah, absolutely, But.
Speaker 1: I was totally I totally thought that was not gonna
Speaker 1: be the answer to that question because I assume, I mean,
Speaker 1: do you make decent money delivering these pizzas?
Speaker 4: I do?
Speaker 6: Actually, I do make a decent, decent profit more than Honestly,
Speaker 6: I think more people realize you can make as a
Speaker 6: pizza livery driver. It's just I think the money that
Speaker 6: I I because, like, don't I feel like a lot
Speaker 6: of people that's problem. Like I I like will fucking
Speaker 6: go on door dash and spend like forty dollars and
Speaker 6: not even think about it, but like I'll go to
Speaker 6: the groceryore and like that hands like four dollars. I
Speaker 6: don't know if I can, you know.
Speaker 3: What I mean?
Speaker 6: Like it's so weird, Like I feel like things I
Speaker 6: want I can spend money on without even thinking about it,
Speaker 6: but like should I need like gas or a fucking
Speaker 6: oil change or groceries? I like they're not like the smartest.
Speaker 6: So I think that's what kind of led to like
Speaker 6: me thinking, oh, I can just steal groceries.
Speaker 3: That's just all right.
Speaker 1: Let me let me get the counterpoint in here. Let
Speaker 1: me talk to Emma again, Okay, unless if she's in
Speaker 1: another room because she hates my voice that much. Oh
Speaker 1: there you are, Emma, I.
Speaker 7: Don't hate you. This is not gonna be a thing, Emma.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, so from what I have been told or
Speaker 1: from what I gather, you're you are anti stealing from
Speaker 1: the grocery store. You have this premonition that it is
Speaker 1: going to turn out bad and he's gonna get caught,
Speaker 1: and you don't want to be around for that.
Speaker 7: I'm pro stealing. I think it's good if it's from
Speaker 7: like not small businesses.
Speaker 6: It's not a small business, by the way.
Speaker 5: Just it's not.
Speaker 7: It is not a small business. But I just have
Speaker 7: bad anxiety. So like, if I know he's gonna go
Speaker 7: there and steel like more than half the cart full
Speaker 7: of groceries, I don't really want to be there. Plus
Speaker 7: he's done it so many times. There's I've heard that
Speaker 7: there's like a limit to how much you can steal,
Speaker 7: Like if it's over like a thousand, then that can
Speaker 7: be a selony. Then they'll catch you, and that's when
Speaker 7: they like put the hammer down on you, and like,
Speaker 7: I just know personally, I don't want to be around
Speaker 7: when that happens.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're at risk of the FBI literally raiding your pantry.
Speaker 1: Uh huh, I could see. I can tell you, I
Speaker 1: can tell you how I can hate me so much.
Speaker 4: I don't hate you.
Speaker 1: Hated you hated my joke anyway, all right, I.
Speaker 7: Didn't want to laugh at my own extent.
Speaker 1: Anyway, But now I want to switch up.
Speaker 7: The grocery store at least.
Speaker 6: No, what we go to is fucking perfect for stealing.
Speaker 7: Like, just switch it up every now and then go
Speaker 7: to a different.
Speaker 6: Risk then I might get Okay, you know what, here's
Speaker 6: the thing.
Speaker 1: Here's the thing, Michael. This problem is going to solve
Speaker 1: itself because one of two things will happen. Okay, either
Speaker 1: you will get caught or you won't. So the problem
Speaker 1: we'll work itself out.
Speaker 6: Okay, Well, then what you get go on the computer.
Speaker 6: We can you recommend that I do from this point forward?
Speaker 6: What would you do in my position right now if
Speaker 6: you were calling into another gecko on the computer about
Speaker 6: this situation and they told you what you just told me,
Speaker 6: how would you feel and what would think you would do.
Speaker 1: Probably stops dealing with stuff in the grocery store.
Speaker 6: I understand that's prob the right call.
Speaker 1: All right, I'm gonna start singing on the podcast that
Speaker 1: your girlfriend doesn't hate it as much. I'm gonna do
Speaker 1: it for her. Well, you know, Mike, is there anything
Speaker 1: else you want to say to the me or the
Speaker 1: god or the people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 1: And thank you for defending me. By the way, Mike,
Speaker 1: I appreciate that.
Speaker 6: Can I be one thing?
Speaker 3: Actually?
Speaker 6: I want to go. I'm planning on going to your
Speaker 6: show in Philly, But like when I go on like
Speaker 6: the website to buy the ticket, it says something about
Speaker 6: like twenty one and over and I'm nineteen? Can I
Speaker 6: still go? Does that work?
Speaker 4: You know?
Speaker 1: I grew up. I went to college in Philly, right,
Speaker 1: and I attended my fair share of comedy shows and
Speaker 1: events as a nineteen year old, eighteen year old, twenty
Speaker 1: year old. And you know, I mean, I ask the venue,
Speaker 1: But like, I don't want to tell you that you
Speaker 1: should just go anyway, because I don't. I would hate
Speaker 1: for you to buy a ticket enough to get in.
Speaker 1: But I talked to the venue.
Speaker 3: Okay, are you going.
Speaker 1: To bring Emma I would like to.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I'll go.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for giving you shit. What's up?
Speaker 1: Hit me up? What's going on?
Speaker 3: Say?
Speaker 1: Say your thing the people of the computer Mike.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 6: Last thing I'll say is I probably started listening to
Speaker 6: you like a month ago and delivering pizzas. Now it's
Speaker 6: pretty much all I do while I drive is listen
Speaker 6: to your podcast, and it is made my job lot
Speaker 6: less boring and a lot more enjoyable.
Speaker 2: So I appreciate that.
Speaker 6: And yeah, I've been trying to call in and I
Speaker 6: never thought i'd get in, but I actually got in
Speaker 6: and I talked to you about one of my issues,
Speaker 6: and I really appreciate it. Man, Thanks for the service
Speaker 6: you do. I think it's really important letting people know that,
Speaker 6: you know, talking about things can really help and everything,
Speaker 6: and you know, just keep gecking it up and I'll
Speaker 6: probably see you in Philly hopefully.
Speaker 1: Well, thank you. Man. Look, if you need a character
Speaker 1: witness in court after they catch you stealing uh uh,
Speaker 1: you know, cereal and toilet paper and shit, I got you. Okay,
Speaker 1: I will show up in the Gecko suit to the
Speaker 1: Pennsylvania Court of Affairs and I will I will let
Speaker 1: them know that you're a good guy.
Speaker 6: Thank you so much, man, I really appreciate that you.
Speaker 1: Take care. Goodbye, Emma, goodbye, Mike.
Speaker 6: Good night you too, call from.
Speaker 3: Hello?
Speaker 1: What's up?
Speaker 3: Oh? Nothing? My girl told me to call y'all.
Speaker 1: Your girls told you to call me? Yeah? Okay? What
Speaker 1: are you by by your girls? Does that mean? Are you?
Speaker 1: Are they your daughters? Are you in a polyamorous relationship?
Speaker 1: What's how are they your girls?
Speaker 3: Well? She has multiple personalities, so it could be the
Speaker 3: poly relationship?
Speaker 1: Okay? What what are her multiple personalities?
Speaker 6: Oh?
Speaker 3: Man? Trust is scary. She gets pissed off. She becomes
Speaker 3: like angry. Have you ever seen like the gremlin when
Speaker 3: you feed it after twelve?
Speaker 1: That sounds more like an emotion than a than a personality.
Speaker 3: Oh no, she flips men, trust me. It's like a
Speaker 3: whole different person. It's probably mainly because of the emotion,
Speaker 3: but it's a whole different person.
Speaker 1: Okay, And she told you to call me?
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's like like a fan, like a major fan.
Speaker 3: She's been telling me about your show for a while.
Speaker 3: I just I think you.
Speaker 1: And what what did Why did she tell you to
Speaker 1: call me?
Speaker 3: I don't know. She's just like watching the stream she wanted.
Speaker 3: She tried calling and she couldn't get on. She was
Speaker 3: like call. I was like, okay, I don't even know
Speaker 3: how this worked.
Speaker 1: Honestly, it's well, it's working right now. We're on the
Speaker 1: phone together. We're talking.
Speaker 3: So does that mean I'm on the live?
Speaker 1: You are on the phone with a guy? Okay? So
Speaker 1: your name is Tony. You have a girlfriend who so
Speaker 1: far you've said only negative things about. Do you, guys,
Speaker 1: do you actually like this person?
Speaker 3: Oh? I love her?
Speaker 1: Okay, that's good. What do you like about her? Oh?
Speaker 3: She's smart and she's beautiful and she's so unique.
Speaker 1: Hmmm. How did you guys meet?
Speaker 3: You're never gonna guess it. We met at McDonald's.
Speaker 1: Bullshit, I swear to god.
Speaker 3: I was the cash was the cashier.
Speaker 1: You were the cashier.
Speaker 3: I was the cash here and she walked in to
Speaker 3: get her job, and she asked me for the for
Speaker 3: the manager. But I guess I don't know if she
Speaker 3: like kind of asked me and it walked away, and
Speaker 3: I was okay, And the next thing I know, she
Speaker 3: ended up working there.
Speaker 1: Oh so you met working together at McDonald's. I thought
Speaker 1: she was just a customer.
Speaker 3: Oh no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1: That's fast. You know, it's fascinating that you can be
Speaker 1: because there's look, and I'm just gonna be honest here
Speaker 1: in no offense, but the McDonald's fast food uniform not
Speaker 1: the most attractive clothing choice, and yet both of you
Speaker 1: still found each other appealing right right right in that environment,
Speaker 1: smelling like fries in Greece.
Speaker 3: Right right, And you can't forget the beeping noise that
Speaker 3: you can hear in your sleep. If anybody who's worked
Speaker 3: at mcdonald's'll tell you about the beeping.
Speaker 1: Noise, tell me more, what's the beeping noise?
Speaker 3: So basically, anything anything that you put on, whether it's
Speaker 3: French fries to the burger patties, it alerts to you
Speaker 3: with this harassing like ear raping noise. It's just like
Speaker 3: a beat, but it's you hear it non stop, especially
Speaker 3: when you're in like either fries or in the kitchen anywhere. Basically,
Speaker 3: this noise like penetrates so much into your head. I
Speaker 3: could hear it when I was sleeping.
Speaker 7: Mmm.
Speaker 1: And what is what's the source of the noise? Where
Speaker 1: does it come from?
Speaker 3: It's just like an alarm on the fryars and the
Speaker 3: grill where you put the burgers onto. It's just an
Speaker 3: alarm that I guess integrated into the machines. But the
Speaker 3: beat is like it's it's so weird. You can hear
Speaker 3: it over anything.
Speaker 1: I feel like, if the beef is constant, doesn't This
Speaker 1: is the whole point of an alarm, that it's supposed
Speaker 1: to be a foreign sound that alerts you to something,
Speaker 1: where if the alarm becomes part of the ambiance of
Speaker 1: the environment, it ceases to perform its function.
Speaker 3: No, but it's so high pitched and it's it keeps
Speaker 3: ringing until you turn it off, and I sort of
Speaker 3: fries why fried? For about two minutes. I think it
Speaker 3: was two to three. I can't really remember. But it's
Speaker 3: just constantly going off the whole shift.
Speaker 1: Now, what is it that you said? What is it
Speaker 1: that you said to her to turn your relationship from collegiate?
Speaker 1: How it's from this from from one of coworkers to
Speaker 1: one of love?
Speaker 3: What I said to her? Yes, well, it's actually weird
Speaker 3: because I I actually didn't know her name for a while.
Speaker 3: She kind of holds that against me.
Speaker 1: Don't they fucking have name tags?
Speaker 3: Yeah, but she would never wear hers, it might be.
Speaker 1: Now what what what did you? How did how did
Speaker 1: how did your relationship turn from colleagues to lovers?
Speaker 3: How did it turn from colleagues to lovers?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 3: Kind of just guess, little tiny flirting actions. I guess.
Speaker 3: You know, she's significantly shorter than I am, so I
Speaker 3: would just kind of flick her hat when I walk
Speaker 3: past her and stuff like that. But then eventually she
Speaker 3: started just coming in to check the schedule on her
Speaker 3: days off and bring me cookies. That's when I knew
Speaker 3: she was the one.
Speaker 1: You would you'd flick her hat. That's kind of like
Speaker 1: the whole if a guy is bullying you he likes
Speaker 1: you thing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess you could, Yeah, yeah, pretty much. But
Speaker 3: it was the more flick.
Speaker 1: When you flicked her hat, would she say stop in
Speaker 1: like a playful tone.
Speaker 3: Not really, I kind of just flickedd and' kt walking.
Speaker 3: I was kind of nervous, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it sounds like a nervous thing to do, all right. Now,
Speaker 1: what was your first date? Was it a burger king.
Speaker 3: King?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: No, no. We went to go watch the Jackie Robinson movie.
Speaker 1: The Jackie Robinson movie, and was Jackie Robinson's triumph of
Speaker 1: of of destroying the social norms of the time, Like
Speaker 1: did that fire? You guys up romantic?
Speaker 3: You can't attention to the movie?
Speaker 1: Why why? Why not?
Speaker 3: It didn't catch my attention. I just wanted an excuse
Speaker 3: to spend time where nothing else good was playing. It
Speaker 3: was during the lockdown, you know, during COVID. Uh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: I don't.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't. Here's the thing I've never I've
Speaker 1: never understood. I've never understood a movie first dates. It's
Speaker 1: a It's a horrible idea in my eyes, because how
Speaker 1: are you supposed to talk? You can't really talk during
Speaker 1: the movie.
Speaker 3: Right, you're right, right, Well, it was we were the
Speaker 3: only ones in the theater.
Speaker 1: Ah, oh really, cod, so we kind of just.
Speaker 3: Had a dark space to ourselves at the movie playing
Speaker 3: in the background.
Speaker 1: You guys didn't like finger each other in the movie,
Speaker 1: did you?
Speaker 3: No? No, no. I was not fingered during the movie.
Speaker 3: Nol sart.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm not the cops. You can tell me if you.
Speaker 3: Did, oh no, no, no no.
Speaker 1: That'd be fun. This would be a funny thing for
Speaker 1: somebody to be undercover doing. It would work Like if
Speaker 1: I was an undercover cop. People people tell me crazy
Speaker 1: things all the time.
Speaker 3: Right, what's the craziest thing they've teld you?
Speaker 1: Man, I don't even know I've tell you you're the
Speaker 1: I do wonder what number of person you are that
Speaker 1: I've talked to on this show. If you're if you're
Speaker 1: like number one thousand and three hundred and twenty five,
Speaker 1: that's my guess. Anyway, how's the relationship going?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 1: What do you guys do together with with your how
Speaker 1: do you what do you do to spend time with
Speaker 1: each other?
Speaker 3: Well? We work together again at ups now.
Speaker 1: Randomly?
Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, we actually applied for the job to
Speaker 3: get it.
Speaker 1: Oh that's cute. That's like, that's like a life date.
Speaker 1: Yeah what I said just made sense. But it's like
Speaker 1: a life date.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Almost. You get to see her at work every day.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
Speaker 3: But other than that, you know, we just do like
Speaker 3: normal still go out to get some food and stuff
Speaker 3: like that.
Speaker 1: Okay, what how long have you guys been dating for?
Speaker 3: It's gonna be three years.
Speaker 1: Wow, that's a lot of French fries.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we've been dating for two and a half years.
Speaker 3: And she said hi, she told me to tell you,
Speaker 3: She said, hi, Well, I it sounds.
Speaker 1: It sounds like she wants to talk to me more
Speaker 1: than you do. I'm down to talk to her. Are
Speaker 1: you guys in the same room.
Speaker 3: No, No, she just sent me a message. She lives.
Speaker 3: She lives with her parents.
Speaker 1: Oh, okay, ask her, ask her if there's anything that
Speaker 1: she wants me specifically to talk to you about it?
Speaker 1: Because it was considering it was her idea to have
Speaker 1: have you told me she's.
Speaker 3: Watching you live, so you know, I don't know what
Speaker 3: she wants me to ask you. This is pretty cool.
Speaker 3: I've never been on a show before.
Speaker 1: So she made a message in the chat she said,
Speaker 1: I do Okay, what is it? I want to know
Speaker 1: what it is that she wants me to talk to
Speaker 1: you about.
Speaker 2: Let me ask her?
Speaker 1: Okay, what did she say?
Speaker 3: She's not asked her. She wants to join the call.
Speaker 1: But i'd also join the call to have her call.
Speaker 1: Do you know how to merge a call? Have her
Speaker 1: call you and then she can merge the call.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm having her call me right now.
Speaker 1: All right?
Speaker 3: Just a I've been how long you've been doing this
Speaker 3: this show?
Speaker 1: I've I've been doing this for about as long as
Speaker 1: you guys have been dating I've been doing it since
Speaker 1: June of twenty twenty, so it's been should go a
Speaker 1: little bit of time. Oh she's here. Hi. Hi, what's
Speaker 1: your name? I'm Liz, Liz. What's that up? Liz? Apparently
Speaker 1: you you had something in particular that you wanted to
Speaker 1: talk about.
Speaker 4: Dude, I've been watching you every single night. I'm obsessed.
Speaker 1: Oh thanks, man, I appreciate that.
Speaker 4: Can we talk shit about my boyfriend's mom?
Speaker 1: Can we talk about your boyfriend's mom? What? What? What
Speaker 1: is upsetting you about your boyfriend's mom?
Speaker 4: So, like, I have trouble. Okay, a long time ago,
Speaker 4: I would let people step on me right, and now
Speaker 4: I don't. But like if I let someone step over
Speaker 4: me and I don't say anything about it, I hold
Speaker 4: like a really hard grudge. And that's what that's what happened. Like,
Speaker 4: let's just say it's not been very nice to me.
Speaker 4: Me her h, my mother in law hasn't been very
Speaker 4: nice to me, and so like I don't say anything
Speaker 4: to her, you know, because I want to keep the peace.
Speaker 1: But in what way? In what way is she not
Speaker 1: nice to you?
Speaker 4: I would like give her right places, and like one day.
Speaker 7: She decided to like I could tell she didn't want.
Speaker 4: Me to go over to her house, but she realized
Speaker 4: I could do her a favor of taking her somewhere,
Speaker 4: and so I was nice enough and I did. And
Speaker 4: as soon as I took her home, she started like
Speaker 4: indirectly calling me a wore?
Speaker 1: In what how does somebody indirectly call you a whore?
Speaker 4: Feels like I'm tired of these girls being in my
Speaker 4: house and little girls as in a whore. She was
Speaker 4: saying the word horse, and like I was.
Speaker 1: She she said, I'm tired of these horrors being in
Speaker 1: my house. Referring to you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I was the only girl in there
Speaker 3: directly to her, but I mean it was obviously directed
Speaker 3: to her.
Speaker 1: Did you tell? Did you? What was your response to
Speaker 1: your mom calling your why are you married wife soon
Speaker 1: to be your fiance a whore?
Speaker 3: Well? I couldn't really say much, but it kind of
Speaker 3: just got her out of the situation. You know, we
Speaker 3: left my my fiance and I left the house. But
Speaker 3: the thing is with my mom is like if you
Speaker 3: if you try to argue with her, it's like arguing
Speaker 3: with a wall. You won't win, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: And I told her that's not cool because she's like
Speaker 3: that in the past. But it's like it's like talking
Speaker 3: to a grown child. Okay, you know, you know kind
Speaker 3: of hits the you know, the old school, old reliable,
Speaker 3: I'm your mom, so I'm right, you know type of move.
Speaker 1: I feel like you, Well, I look, did you tell
Speaker 1: your mom, hey, don't call my girlfriend a horror? Did
Speaker 1: you try?
Speaker 3: And then she's like, she says, when I told her that,
Speaker 3: she said, I wasn't calling her whore? What if the
Speaker 3: shoe fits? Wear it?
Speaker 1: And she said she said that.
Speaker 3: Yes, I swear to God, no fucks given.
Speaker 1: Why dude, why is your mom? Why is your mom
Speaker 1: so mean to your girlfriend? What is the what's the deal?
Speaker 3: I think, well, what do you?
Speaker 1: What do you think?
Speaker 3: I think.
Speaker 4: My theory is she like has some like emotional like
Speaker 4: incest thing going on towards him, like you can't live
Speaker 4: without him emotionally.
Speaker 1: Whoa emotional incest?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Both fellas funny.
Speaker 1: Bro, What do you think about your girlfriend saying that
Speaker 1: you have some form of emotional incest with your mother.
Speaker 4: Like, not him, but like her.
Speaker 3: That would be one way street. I mean, I can
Speaker 3: see why she would think that, because it is kind
Speaker 3: of weird. You know, like she like does anything in
Speaker 3: her power for me not to leave, and then anytime
Speaker 3: I do leave, I come back it is just oh see,
Speaker 3: this is why I don't like when you leave, because
Speaker 3: I get scared and I get nervous, kind of like
Speaker 3: a dog that has separation anxiety, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no she Yeah, it sounds like your mom is
Speaker 1: jealous of your girlfriend that she gets to spend time
Speaker 1: with you, and but I'm there for spending less time.
Speaker 3: And anytime I'm home, it's just constant nagging. You know
Speaker 3: that kind of makes you not want to spend time
Speaker 3: with person.
Speaker 1: Get how old are you guys? There's are nineteen and twenty?
Speaker 1: Yeah damn all right. I was gonna say if you
Speaker 1: guys were older. But do you do you rely on
Speaker 1: your mom for uh financial support?
Speaker 3: Now it's actually vice versa.
Speaker 1: Oh ship your your mom. You pay for your mom
Speaker 1: to live and eat food and stuff.
Speaker 3: You's like a child, which is kind of irritating.
Speaker 8: You know.
Speaker 1: Look, man, you guys, you gotta tell your mom. You
Speaker 1: gotta be like, if you want my ups McDonald's money,
Speaker 1: you gotta stop calling my ups McDonald's girlfriend of whore, right.
Speaker 3: Right right, because I'm mcloving it and it's not.
Speaker 1: Cool because you're because you guys are making MC love
Speaker 1: and it's not cool. Oh yeah, is the Will there
Speaker 1: actually be McDonald's at your wedding?
Speaker 4: I mean there can be, see you know, you.
Speaker 1: Know I haven't. I don't like to promise things because
Speaker 1: I could sit here and pretend to be cool and
Speaker 1: be like, you know what, guys, I'm gonna do. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go to your wedding. But then I would just
Speaker 1: I would just not do it. So I would rather
Speaker 1: disappoint you. I would rather disappoint you now than delay
Speaker 1: then create excitement that will make the disappointment even larger.
Speaker 4: Will you at lease come to Dallas again?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I'll definitely come a Dallas again.
Speaker 5: Great, you guys.
Speaker 1: Want to If you guys want to get married conveniently
Speaker 1: around my tour dates for next year, it would definitely help.
Speaker 4: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, please please do not please?
Speaker 1: You got I got in again in your mind. I
Speaker 1: could hear you like taking that serious. Don't plan your
Speaker 1: wedding around my tour dates.
Speaker 3: Oh they But I have a question for you. I
Speaker 3: have a question for you.
Speaker 1: What's up?
Speaker 3: So what is the best ice cream. I guess you
Speaker 3: could say menu item and McDonald's.
Speaker 1: You know I have best ice cream menu item at McDonald's. Oh,
Speaker 1: I had a frozen sprite. I don't know if that counts,
Speaker 1: but at a frozen sprite limonade and that was pretty great.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker 5: Can I share the secret?
Speaker 1: Oh, you have a secret. What's the secret?
Speaker 4: Well, I want to share the secret of why the
Speaker 4: ice cream machine is always broken.
Speaker 3: Yes, I would love to hear that auto McDonald's gonna
Speaker 3: get you remember watch it. It's fine.
Speaker 4: They put me on fries for like eight hours straight.
Speaker 4: I can do them. So the ice cream machine is
Speaker 4: not really broken. It's just like constantly being like cleaned.
Speaker 4: But the cleaning process takes like four hours literally, so
Speaker 4: you know, you get lucky or you get unlucky if
Speaker 4: you come for the ice cream.
Speaker 3: Or sometimes the manager just wants to be a base
Speaker 3: and cleans it early and then just shuts it off
Speaker 3: and says, don't sell ice cream. They make us live.
Speaker 1: Yeah, may are you going to tell your mom? Did it?
Speaker 1: Stop calling your girlfriend?
Speaker 6: Of horror?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Moves?
Speaker 1: Should you try some of your karate moves? I look,
Speaker 1: I don't know if you I look, I I I
Speaker 1: don't know whether or not you actually have karate moves,
Speaker 1: but I will tell you that in in nothing of what,
Speaker 1: nothing of anything of any situation you have described to
Speaker 1: me on this call, UH invites you to use your
Speaker 1: karate moves. So I'm gonna say no, oh, because.
Speaker 3: I was walking a lot of cool with Kay. You know,
Speaker 3: I actually binge watched it. It's pretty good. Have you
Speaker 3: seen it?
Speaker 1: I mean, unless if you unless, if you want to
Speaker 1: threaten to beat the shit out of your mom if
Speaker 1: she doesn't stop calling your girlfriend, which I wouldn't recommend.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you want to. I don't know
Speaker 1: if you want to say, if you want to, like
Speaker 1: set up a little fucking uh piece of wood in
Speaker 1: between two cinder blocks and be like, stop calling my
Speaker 1: girlfriend a whoreor Kiyah and then hit it. I think
Speaker 1: that would help get the message in her brain a
Speaker 1: little bit more.
Speaker 3: Right right, That probably would help. I don't know, though.
Speaker 1: Is there anything else you guys want to say to
Speaker 1: the people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 4: No, but I want to say that I love you
Speaker 4: and I'm going to keep watching you.
Speaker 1: Thanks Liz, Thank both you guys, man. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Thanks by the way I look to here's the thing.
Speaker 1: I go to McDonald's far too much, far too often.
Speaker 1: And so you guys are kind of like my you know,
Speaker 1: when people like support the police, it's like the the
Speaker 1: blue line you got, I support you guys like it's
Speaker 1: the the thin the thin yellow line when all when
Speaker 1: all other options for food at one o'clock in the
Speaker 1: morning are gone. You guys are the thin yellow line
Speaker 1: between you know, me and UH and chaos.
Speaker 3: Well, is there a limit on how many times we
Speaker 3: can join? Like, if I try to call tomorrow, will
Speaker 3: I purposely.
Speaker 1: Not be try to call tomorrow, I'll be mad at
Speaker 1: you don't do that. Thank you guys very much for call.
Speaker 1: I'll call you. I'll talk to you guys around. I'll
Speaker 1: see you guys around the universe.
Speaker 8: You to take care on the line.
Speaker 2: Well, you're like, he's not really be an expert.