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Speaker 1: Hey, hey, hey, we're back, We're black, we're brow this should.

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Speaker 2: This is and this is ambition.

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Speaker 3: Hey manja, hey beautiful, how are you stunning? And that

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Speaker 3: lightning and the and the glow. I can't let me

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Speaker 3: tell you something.

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Speaker 4: So I already have a brown boost, so you know

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Speaker 4: we're not gonna okay.

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Speaker 3: But you have boosted your lashes like twice.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I wouldn't say that these lasses. I don't have

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Speaker 2: born like just brows and lasses.

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Speaker 4: And what I love about it is that like, well

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Speaker 4: one like you know, this is place that I found

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Speaker 4: that like it's like for a hundred bucks for the month,

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Speaker 4: you can get like your.

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Speaker 2: Lashes done twice, you know.

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Speaker 4: So I was just let me try it, and so

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Speaker 4: you know it makes me feel like a little we

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Speaker 4: know me. I'm trying to get my girly on after

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Speaker 4: after years of being.

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Speaker 2: Mail and I'm not just saying, I mean like I've

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Speaker 2: been such a tomboy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so like I'm.

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Speaker 2: Like, you know, at age forty four, I think it's

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Speaker 2: what I'm ready.

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Speaker 3: You need it a lot, but you just you look

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Speaker 3: like you with like a little shine, you know.

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Speaker 2: What I mean.

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Speaker 3: I'm about what are you up to? Where are you

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Speaker 3: at you're not in your usual office.

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Speaker 2: I am not I am in A, I am d

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Speaker 2: in DC.

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Speaker 4: I was in Atlanta last week because I took the

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Speaker 4: team on the team or annual team retreat right, which was.

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Speaker 2: Awesome, soul walks.

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Speaker 4: My favorite day was we did a We did some

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Speaker 4: community service as some place called the Gateway Center where

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Speaker 4: we it's like a transitional housing place but also resources

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Speaker 4: for people who are currently unhoused. And it's that that

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Speaker 4: place is specifically for men, and so we got to

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Speaker 4: learn more about like the work they do because Atlanta,

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Speaker 4: you know, because we I don't know.

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Speaker 2: Did we chat about it on the podcast.

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Speaker 3: Mid Yeah, did you already have that plan before you

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Speaker 3: went to the A or did you plan it because

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Speaker 3: of like what you were saying?

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Speaker 4: No, No, we had a like before like so we

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Speaker 4: worked with this mother daughter black. I have to find

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Speaker 4: the name of their team. I'm gonna FINDCAU. I don't

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Speaker 4: want to shot them out of their team that like

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Speaker 4: planned our trip. This is their second year planning our

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Speaker 4: trip for us, and community service is something that we

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Speaker 4: wanted to add in UH this year.

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Speaker 2: So it's PTE.

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Speaker 4: I don't even know child oh Prime Time Events planning

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Speaker 4: and concierge. It's this amazing black mother and daughter who

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Speaker 4: do like events or what. They're out of Chicago, but

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Speaker 4: they will fly over anywhere. So they did New Orleans

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Speaker 4: for us amazing, and they just did Atlanta for myself

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Speaker 4: and the team. And so yeah, we we had this

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Speaker 4: community service project and we bought lunch for about one

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Speaker 4: hundred men that were you know, staying there, and it

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Speaker 4: was just so great to just talk and you know,

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Speaker 4: you learn so much about like, you know, some people

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Speaker 4: who are in house are really like the working poor.

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Speaker 4: Like there was a guy there dressed in this nice suit.

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Speaker 4: He was a limo driver, but it just didn't pay

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Speaker 4: enough for him to be able to, you know, to

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Speaker 4: have a safe place to live. So while he was here,

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Speaker 4: you know, they're looking to for him to find him

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Speaker 4: more permanent housing. But he was there in the meantime.

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Speaker 4: So it was just an amazing experience. And we had

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Speaker 4: so much pizza leftover that we were able to like

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Speaker 4: kind of leave the center and also like serve some

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Speaker 4: people who were just kind of like in front. So yeah,

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Speaker 4: it was just like the it you know, I did.

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Speaker 4: We did our normal We always do a SPA day

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Speaker 4: we always do.

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Speaker 2: Like we did, we made.

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Speaker 4: This called thing called is it called Skintology Skintimacy black

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Speaker 4: owned women brand where we made our own lotions and

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Speaker 4: things we always try to support, like black owned our

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Speaker 4: chef chef Todd Black Chef. It was a blackly black

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Speaker 4: black like a week so which is awesome. But I'm

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Speaker 4: also glad that we were also able to like serve

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Speaker 4: and give back. And so yeah, I was there and

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Speaker 4: then amazing and now I'm in DC, like because you

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Speaker 4: know it's book tour time. Honey, wait till you know

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Speaker 4: a Maid Whole comes out soon?

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Speaker 3: And so yeah, which is the companion to kick with money?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Where can the girls find out more about this companion book?

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Speaker 2: Well, they can go to Maid Whole workbook dot com.

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Speaker 4: I do you know, me order there, but I would

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Speaker 4: wait a little bit because we're getting the pre order.

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Speaker 4: There are bonuses that we're gonna be able to give

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Speaker 4: people who pre order, so and then like Bible mm hmm,

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Speaker 4: they'll be able to go heavy.

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Speaker 2: But I mean they'll see all the posted all that stuff.

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Speaker 4: But when I take you, I'm tired girl, you gonna

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Speaker 4: see my my my, my break is gonna be I

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Speaker 4: mean Yeah, I'm just really tired. But I'm just glad

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Speaker 4: to like, you know, be sett in some place. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: what about you?

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Speaker 2: What have you been up to?

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Speaker 3: Uh? You know, fun stuff? Aging myself. Yeah, it's been

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Speaker 3: a real shit couple of weeks. I'm not gonna lie

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Speaker 3: I was. Yeah, where do I even begin? Well, I

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Speaker 3: don't want to get like two into the personal stuff.

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Speaker 3: But my dad has been sick, and like, do I

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Speaker 3: go to Atlanta right now? On a plane sick? And

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Speaker 3: I ended up choosing to not go to Atlanta because

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Speaker 3: I have my two kids and the babies that are

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Speaker 3: quit on me, and it's just like when it rains,

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Speaker 3: it pours ever since that biblical flood that week of

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Speaker 3: the flood, you know, and also I guess it flooded

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Speaker 3: again while I was gone. But anyway, a lot's been

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Speaker 3: going on. My dad has been sick, and in my family,

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Speaker 3: my parents are no longer together and my dad did

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Speaker 3: not remarry, and you know, he's in his sixties and

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Speaker 3: my brother and I are it as far as like

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Speaker 3: his close his inner circle, and you know, I'm the

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Speaker 3: eldest and my little brother is like five years younger,

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Speaker 3: and we're figuring out our dynamic as siblings, like caring

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Speaker 3: for our dad who's sick, especially given that I am

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Speaker 3: here in New York and he is there in Atlanta,

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Speaker 3: but obviously has a gajillion thing is going on. If

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Speaker 3: you guys heard my interview with Alex, you know, he's

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Speaker 3: got a lot going on. And that has been difficult,

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Speaker 3: you know, to figure out that dynamic. And we've never

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Speaker 3: been put in that situation before. And like, you know,

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Speaker 3: my usual support system, my mom, my sister, they can't

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Speaker 3: really support me because there's a lot of you know,

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Speaker 3: not great stuff there. So it's really like, oh, you're

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Speaker 3: on your own, kid, you always you always have been.

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Speaker 3: So I decided not to go, which I was fine

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Speaker 3: with that decision. And then my grandpa passed the day

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Speaker 3: that my dad got was sent home from the hospital.

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Speaker 3: My grandpa, who was eighty six, Thank you, my dad's dad.

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Speaker 3: He died. He was sick for a long time. We

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Speaker 3: could do a whole episode on how these chronic illnesses

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Speaker 3: are like killing black people. Yeah, I mean, it's we

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Speaker 3: talk about the healthcare system. But yeah, I have a

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Speaker 3: lot to say after this past few days in Atlanta

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Speaker 3: and just learning more about my family history and all

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Speaker 3: of that, but shout out to Grandpa Shirley Roy Woodruff

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Speaker 3: the og I because of my dad's family dynamic, I

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Speaker 3: actually didn't know him very will And then I have

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Speaker 3: cousins like my cousin Anna, who you guys have heard about.

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Speaker 3: She's like, that was her grandpa, you know, the whole thing.

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Speaker 3: So I, in order to sort of process what was

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Speaker 3: going on, of course, I flew home. I took Remy

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Speaker 3: with me, my little doll baby, my little emotional support baby.

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Speaker 3: He was everyone's emotional support. What I tell you, I

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Speaker 3: felt like I brought one of those golden retrievers that

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Speaker 3: they bring to, you know, people after they've gone through

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Speaker 3: some kind of trauma. I was like, here's the baby

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Speaker 3: who needs a hold, who needs a smile. Remy's so social,

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Speaker 3: He's so like just so you know, happy, and you

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Speaker 3: know he'll smile at anyone. So I know he definitely

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Speaker 3: did wonders for my dad's health while he was there.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, I took Remy, so it was just me

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Speaker 3: and Remy and we went down. But even in the

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Speaker 3: days leading up to the funeral, I did it so

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Speaker 3: to put my like just there was so much anxious energy.

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Speaker 3: I was really like, should I up my med should

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Speaker 3: I talk to my therapist? I ended up sending her

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Speaker 3: a twenty minute voice note just to like get it

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Speaker 3: off my chest what I was saying, what I was feeling,

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Speaker 3: because it was so much. I mean, I think a

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Speaker 3: lot of folks around me who seem You're like, wow,

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Speaker 3: you have so much going on. I don't know how

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Speaker 3: you do it, And usually I do it fine. And

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Speaker 3: I wasn't fine yeah for a minute there. But for me,

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Speaker 3: I put I decided I'm going to give myself a

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Speaker 3: task with this funeral because I couldn't figure out my

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Speaker 3: feelings about everything. So I took on the responsibility of organizing,

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Speaker 3: like being my dad's brother who was organizing everything, being

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Speaker 3: his deputy, so ordering the food because you know, I

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Speaker 3: know how to put on a nice buffet. He went

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Speaker 3: to my wedding, got it catered, put on the food.

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Speaker 3: Track down. When I tell you, Shirley Roy Woodruff was

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Speaker 3: a he was a rolling stone. He actually had a

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Speaker 3: career in radio that I never knew. Oh really, Yes,

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Speaker 3: he had a gospel radio station in Gainesville, Georgia for

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Speaker 3: years and years and years. I mean up until like

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Speaker 3: maybe fifteen years ago. So in the two thousands, even

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Speaker 3: he was doing this radio and I never knew.

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Speaker 2: And like, look at me, I know, I love that.

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Speaker 3: And he was a musician and a traveling minister, which

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Speaker 3: is one of the reasons why his relationship with his

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Speaker 3: children was so varied, because a lot of them didn't

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Speaker 3: see a lot of him. He won that's that song.

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Speaker 3: Papa was a rolling stone. Yeah, Grandpa Roy was a

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Speaker 3: rolling stone, genuinely. And when I was I spent a

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Speaker 3: lot of time talking. I called up so many of

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Speaker 3: my elders, people I hadn't met my whole life, but

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Speaker 3: who knew about me through my dad, like woodruffs down

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Speaker 3: the line, just trying to get a picture of this man,

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Speaker 3: and finally was able to track down some really cool

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Speaker 3: pictures of him and got those printed up and made

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Speaker 3: for the memorial table, just like you know, put my

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Speaker 3: put my energy into something. And because I'm sure as

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Speaker 3: hell can't control my dad, let me tell you what,

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Speaker 3: even being there in person, Oh, I see where I

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Speaker 3: get my stubborn friend. And to any you know, adult

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Speaker 3: out there who's having to well not even having to caretake.

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Speaker 3: He didn't ask me to caretake, but like try, I

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Speaker 3: just try, and like Hey, maybe don't you know, eat

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Speaker 3: bacon right now in this moment after you've been told

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Speaker 3: to lower your sodium intake. He's like, oh, you know,

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Speaker 3: I don't won you biking that much. It's just in

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Speaker 3: the fridge. Don't let this man. He will not waste food.

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Speaker 3: So I'm like, you need to have a you know

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Speaker 3: how they have garage sales, he needs to have a

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Speaker 3: deep freezer sale. Like, get rid of this stuff. None

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Speaker 3: of it's good for him. He needs to get rid

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Speaker 3: of it. But yeah, it was a lot, but at

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Speaker 3: least so in a like a roundabout way. The funeral

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Speaker 3: was sounds so fun, not to say it was good

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Speaker 3: for my mental state because it gave me like a

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Speaker 3: i don't know, like something a stake of, like something

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Speaker 3: to tie me to the ground, to stop me from spiraling,

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Speaker 3: you know, because I really was like a whirling not

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Speaker 3: even a whirling dervish, but like just like Tasmanian devil

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Speaker 3: over here. I came home and I saw my not

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Speaker 3: even I put this like big I write out my

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Speaker 3: to dooos when I have so many, and I put

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Speaker 3: like this big piece of paper on the fridge and

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Speaker 3: it was like, get your shit together list and I

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Speaker 3: came back and I was like, wow, the mental state

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Speaker 3: of that girl. So anyway, it's been a long it's

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Speaker 3: been a yeah, it's been a shitty couple of weeks,

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Speaker 3: but the only way out is through. I'm just like,

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Speaker 3: at this point, it's like one hour at a time,

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Speaker 3: one yeah, day at a time.

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Speaker 4: And I know that, like, you know, especially you know,

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Speaker 4: as our parents' age, the conversations about like what a

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Speaker 4: state planning and stuff looked like looks like and that's

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Speaker 4: not easy because you know, I know, like it literally

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Speaker 4: took for Gerald to pass away, that my dad to

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Speaker 4: finally agree to like update his will that had me

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Speaker 4: at age.

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Speaker 2: Ten in it. I was like, Daddy, you are in

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Speaker 2: your eighties. He's like, oh yeah, one day, one day.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, at this point, like, you know, seventy five

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Speaker 4: plus they said the average age of you know, of

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Speaker 4: you lived to seventy five, and so that means any

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Speaker 4: year after that it's literally a blessing. And so if

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Speaker 4: you get to your eighties, it's like a super blessing.

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Speaker 4: And I was like, there is no one day, it's now.

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Speaker 4: And so I was finally able to get his will,

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Speaker 4: his living will, his health care like all of that

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Speaker 4: stuff signed, notarized and done.

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Speaker 2: You know. Were you like, did you have to have

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Speaker 2: those hard conversations with your dad while you were there?

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Speaker 3: Yes? I did, well, actually I started the conversation. So

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Speaker 3: one of the things since I was here in New

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Speaker 3: York when my dad was sick in the hospital, that

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Speaker 3: I was like, well, I can do this is I

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Speaker 3: got in touch with Helen, who's my financial planner, and

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Speaker 3: she can do She can do estate planning for people

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Speaker 3: like my dad whose finances are not super complicated. Isn't

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Speaker 3: own any business, you know, all that, everything's pretty straightforward.

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Speaker 3: He owns a home, et cetera. So I got in

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Speaker 3: touch with Helen, I scheduled a call with her and

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Speaker 3: we and she really understood where I was coming from.

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Speaker 3: She also is she's from Georgia. She lives in Georgia. Okay,

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Speaker 3: so and her family lives close to where my dad lives.

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Speaker 3: So she was like, I can see him in person.

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Speaker 2: But that's awesome.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so I'm taking care of that. But that looks

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Speaker 3: like for us because my dad's never had anything like

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Speaker 3: that before. It looks like she sent me. I think

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Speaker 3: there's three documents in her email to me my brother

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Speaker 3: and my dad. She was like, this is a questionnaire

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Speaker 3: to get the conversation started. But I'm not just going

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Speaker 3: to show up to your house and start out. It'll

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Speaker 3: take hours. You probably you need to work through these questions. Yes,

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Speaker 3: So she sent us that those questionnaires, and I haven't

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Speaker 3: opened the attachments yet. I don't think any of us has.

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Speaker 3: My dad does not enjoy talking about it. He's a

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Speaker 3: strong willed independent. He's a damn Rowland stew himself, you

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Speaker 3: know what I mean. Like, I see so much of

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Speaker 3: my grandpa's traits in him in every area except as

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Speaker 3: a father, because he did not roll away at any

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Speaker 3: time from us. He's always committed. But yeah this, we're

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Speaker 3: getting that state planning done hopefully soon. And then sig notarized.

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Speaker 5: Yeah jazz, Okay, yeah, big girl, shit, I know this

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Speaker 5: is the part, Like you know, when you're a kid

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Speaker 5: and you want to be a grown up, it's just

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Speaker 5: because you want to get candy at the park at

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Speaker 5: the store.

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Speaker 4: Right, that's what grow to be like, Oh, I can't wait,

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Speaker 4: I can buy whatever I want from Target this right,

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Speaker 4: And then you realize you're like, wait, is this what

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Speaker 4: adult thing is like?

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Speaker 3: And you buy the things from Target so that you

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Speaker 3: can dull the pain of what adult that is like

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Speaker 3: and you binge eat you know, a pint of ice

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Speaker 3: cream in the car and the grocery store parking lot,

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Speaker 3: not that I have any idea what that feels like.

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Speaker 3: And if you were at stopping shop last week on

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Speaker 3: Thursday night and you saw a car parked over there

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Speaker 3: and a girl just like crying into her you know what,

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Speaker 3: I don't know her. I don't want to tell you.

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Speaker 2: I see that used to be me and pizza, Like

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Speaker 2: I would just get there was like my favorite pizza

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Speaker 2: place I would go and I would just like gorge

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Speaker 2: in the car and just cry and eat pizza, you know,

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Speaker 2: and then hide the box and stuff later like everything's fine.

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Speaker 3: When I tell you, I've never been happier that our

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Speaker 3: nest cam on the driveway like went could put because

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Speaker 3: I just was able to get out of the car

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Speaker 3: and just like sneak that into the Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Same, I'm like, nobody needs to go that I had

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Speaker 2: a full pizza for myself.

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Speaker 3: I asked or something. But you know, we cope in

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Speaker 3: our own wads. Okay, yeah, yeah, just yeah, adulting big

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Speaker 3: time but also feeling it was only a matter of time, right,

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Speaker 3: I mean, and it's here now and me and it doesn't.

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Speaker 3: I'm learning a lot about our family dynamic. Myself. My

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Speaker 3: vibe is very different than my brothers, and there's you know,

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Speaker 3: I tend to try to keep things light and funny

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Speaker 3: and like he does, sometimes not in the mood for

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Speaker 3: the shuckinin cha anyway. Anyway, One other thing I will

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Speaker 3: say about this time that I've left sort of more

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Speaker 3: clear about is, you know, my family is far flung.

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Speaker 3: You know, I have relatives in Atlanta, I have my

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Speaker 3: mom in Missouri, my sister's in Wisconsin, and got really

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Speaker 3: good friends in California. And I really got clear with

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Speaker 3: and I was talking to my mom and my sister brothers.

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Speaker 3: I'm like the intent, Like we have to be more

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Speaker 3: intentional about scheduling visits. Yeah, like not just on a

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Speaker 3: whim or not just Christmas, Like that's not enough. And

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Speaker 3: usually it's like the finances that stopped a lot of

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Speaker 3: people from traveling. And I'm like, listen, a few hundred

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00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:51,640
Speaker 3: dollars for a flight, that's what it costs, you know,

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00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:55,520
Speaker 3: to get from most places to where we are. If

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Speaker 3: we just commit to you know, no brunch November, you know,

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Speaker 3: and save that money. We can make this a thing

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Speaker 3: like we can travel more to one another. And I

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Speaker 3: think I'm gonna I'm definitely going to be doing more

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Speaker 3: of that. Yeah, and Remy's down because he is a

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Speaker 3: vessel travel buddy. I think there's going to be a

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Speaker 3: baby boom at the Atlanta air If you were at

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Speaker 3: the Atlanta Airport on October eighth, I would just like

347
00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:24,640
Speaker 3: to stay in advance. Name your child after Remy because

348
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Speaker 3: this baby. Every woman we passed was like baby.

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Speaker 4: He is such a I know, I know, I feel like, yeah,

350
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Speaker 4: it's just crazy how I mean, you know, we grow up,

351
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Speaker 4: but then you start to realize, wow, your financial life

352
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Speaker 4: also grows up with you, you know, and you know

353
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Speaker 4: the thing like I what I don't want is like,

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Speaker 4: you know, I don't want to leave. I want to

355
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Speaker 4: minimize the complications when I'm not here. You know, you know,

356
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Speaker 4: I might be one hundred and two when I'm pass away,

357
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Speaker 4: but I want that when I'm not here. Of course,

358
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Speaker 4: you're never gonna get every single thing, but I don't

359
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Speaker 4: want to leave stuff that I could have gotten done

360
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Speaker 4: done just because you know, I know firsthand what it's

361
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Speaker 4: like to have some things undone and then having to

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Speaker 4: navigate that, you know, the family having to navigate that,

363
00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:22,399
Speaker 4: and sometimes at leads for like you know, hurt feelings

364
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:25,520
Speaker 4: and anger and bitterness, and you know, no, this is

365
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Speaker 4: not what you're like. You know, but it's like like

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Speaker 4: I said, I mean, I know I have not probably

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Speaker 4: crossed every tea as much as I know to cross.

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Speaker 3: You know, you're also so young that like in another

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Speaker 3: ten years you mentioned updating your dad's will. It's not

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Speaker 3: like a one and done thing.

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Speaker 2: Nope, yep.

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Speaker 3: So you have to make the commitment to keep coming

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Speaker 3: back to it.

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Speaker 4: Yes, because thinking like for example, I got I have

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Speaker 4: my trust, but then you know, I recently bought the condo,

376
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Speaker 4: so I'm like, oh, that's right, I gotta when I

377
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Speaker 4: get back home. One of my homeworks is I got

378
00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:56,119
Speaker 4: to go to the title company to tell them I

379
00:18:56,119 --> 00:18:57,719
Speaker 4: don't want the title to be Undertivity's name.

380
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Speaker 2: It should be under the trust name. You know, because

381
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Speaker 2: something would have happened.

382
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Speaker 4: Me today, then the way my family would inherit the

383
00:19:06,119 --> 00:19:09,639
Speaker 4: property would lead them open for the for like a

384
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:11,480
Speaker 4: tax gramifications that was unintentional.

385
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Speaker 2: You know. It's things like that that's like I'm.

386
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:15,439
Speaker 4: Always thinking, like, you know, if something new comes up,

387
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:17,240
Speaker 4: Look what if I start another business? What if I

388
00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:20,120
Speaker 4: you know, like you know, I don't know if there's

389
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:23,199
Speaker 4: just as your life changes, you know, like keeping up

390
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,080
Speaker 4: with those things. It's not really easy, but that is

391
00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:27,560
Speaker 4: definitely one of my homeworks. It's like, Tiffany, like, what

392
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,679
Speaker 4: else do I need to put into this trust?

393
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Speaker 2: Or there's no point to it.

394
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Speaker 4: Tony told me that the number one mistake people make

395
00:19:33,119 --> 00:19:36,520
Speaker 4: when she like Tony is my attorney, that people make

396
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:42,520
Speaker 4: when estate planning is not signing and fully transferring funds.

397
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Speaker 2: You know.

398
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:46,159
Speaker 4: So she's like, because a trust takes months, if not years,

399
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Speaker 4: Like it took over almost a year for like all

400
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,760
Speaker 4: the pieces of my trust to come together.

401
00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:54,040
Speaker 6: Really, yes, because there's so many nuances.

402
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,000
Speaker 4: You know, you're like, oh my god, I never thought

403
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,840
Speaker 4: about that, and then it's a lot to think about.

404
00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:00,320
Speaker 4: So finally it was done. It was like done, da

405
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:04,320
Speaker 4: da da dah. And then it's like, oh, but the

406
00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:07,760
Speaker 4: trust is empty. You have to sign your home over

407
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:11,439
Speaker 4: to it, your bank accounts, your retirement accounts, and I

408
00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:13,120
Speaker 4: was like, oh, so, like I literally have a meeting

409
00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:16,280
Speaker 4: with Angelie, my financial advisor, I want to say, like

410
00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:19,120
Speaker 4: later on this month, where she's going to be like, Okay,

411
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:21,679
Speaker 4: here are the accounts I'm transferring over to your trust.

412
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:23,800
Speaker 4: And for those of you who are listening, the difference

413
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:26,040
Speaker 4: between like a will and a trust. A will kind

414
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:28,399
Speaker 4: of says this is what happens to my stuff about

415
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:31,160
Speaker 4: from the moment you pass away to about six months later.

416
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:34,040
Speaker 4: You know, like it's instant, like a will is like,

417
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:39,000
Speaker 4: and there's no real financial protections in the will. It's

418
00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:41,280
Speaker 4: just more so my wishes. This is where I want

419
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:43,840
Speaker 4: to have my stuff immediately. A trust allows you to

420
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:47,560
Speaker 4: reach further into the future and say for my assets.

421
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:48,520
Speaker 2: So for I'll give you an example.

422
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Speaker 4: One of my trusts is that, like my nieces and

423
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:54,080
Speaker 4: my nephew, I'm leaving assets for them. But right now,

424
00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:56,480
Speaker 4: the oldest roman is eight, so I don't want him

425
00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:58,400
Speaker 4: to inherit whatever that's going to look like for him.

426
00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:01,320
Speaker 4: So instead I want it like I have it that

427
00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:05,040
Speaker 4: like he gets first payment right after high school and

428
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:06,480
Speaker 4: that's to go to college if he wants to go

429
00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:07,560
Speaker 4: to college or not. If he doesn't want to go

430
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:10,040
Speaker 4: to college, it gets pushed out to like twenty one.

431
00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:12,280
Speaker 4: I think I have like a twenty one year old payment,

432
00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:13,760
Speaker 4: like a twenty five year ol paomanent, a thirty year

433
00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:17,040
Speaker 4: old payment for all the kids. You know, because I've

434
00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:20,120
Speaker 4: seen like you know, like for example, Alyssa, which makes

435
00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:23,280
Speaker 4: me a little nervous. You know, she's got her the

436
00:21:23,359 --> 00:21:25,960
Speaker 4: policy that her dad left her, but because she's under age,

437
00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:29,200
Speaker 4: the state holds onto it and says, when you turn eighteen,

438
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:32,000
Speaker 4: we're going to turn it over to you. And I'm like, like,

439
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:36,040
Speaker 4: I know she's already like eh, I'm like so if

440
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:37,760
Speaker 4: you could have seen me, I'm like popping my back,

441
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:41,119
Speaker 4: like you know. So thankfully, you know, Alyssa has myself

442
00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:42,520
Speaker 4: and her mom to guide her. So we're meeting with

443
00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:45,240
Speaker 4: Angelie to map by a plan because she just turned

444
00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:48,399
Speaker 4: seventeen October first, to map by a plan to say

445
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:50,720
Speaker 4: this is what you know ought to happen. I mean,

446
00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:52,919
Speaker 4: ultimately she can make whatever decisions she wants, but you know,

447
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:55,679
Speaker 4: with us here to be like, you know, here's you know,

448
00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:57,480
Speaker 4: we're gonna set aside this amount of money so you

449
00:21:57,520 --> 00:21:59,800
Speaker 4: can't get that car, and then this is going to

450
00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:01,439
Speaker 4: go to this and this is gonna go to that.

451
00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:04,639
Speaker 4: And so watching that process of what happens when a

452
00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:09,359
Speaker 4: kid is left money, maybe say eighteen is too young.

453
00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:12,480
Speaker 4: So for me, I was like, let me, if you're

454
00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:15,119
Speaker 4: going to school, a third of what I've left you,

455
00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:18,359
Speaker 4: including Alyssa, can go to school. If not twenty one,

456
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:20,520
Speaker 4: you get first payment twenty five and then hopefully by

457
00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:22,240
Speaker 4: thirty you have some real sense. So you see what

458
00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:24,440
Speaker 4: I mean, And so I trust you like reach deeper

459
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:28,000
Speaker 4: into the future. And also too, because I won't own

460
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:31,159
Speaker 4: the assets anymore. The trust will own the assets, and

461
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:32,959
Speaker 4: then I have the beneficiaries of the trust, so it's

462
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:35,959
Speaker 4: almost like we are currently joining jointly owning the assets

463
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:38,760
Speaker 4: while I'm still alive. Although they're quote unquote mind they

464
00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:40,960
Speaker 4: really belong to the trust. When something happens to me

465
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,960
Speaker 4: when I'm ninety one hundred whatever, They're not going to

466
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:48,080
Speaker 4: inherit my homes or my assets because they already own

467
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:51,119
Speaker 4: the now. So there is you get to lower the

468
00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:53,400
Speaker 4: tax burden that inheritance yields.

469
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:55,520
Speaker 2: Okay, you know that's the loan that the bout.

470
00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:57,040
Speaker 4: Yes, you know, So that's why they tell you that

471
00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:58,920
Speaker 4: if you have assets of a half a million dollars

472
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,000
Speaker 4: or more, you might want to look into a trust

473
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:02,560
Speaker 4: which in New Jersey, that's.

474
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:04,800
Speaker 2: A house, you know, like when New York, New Jersey.

475
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:08,560
Speaker 4: You know, because if something many families will inherit. Let's

476
00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:11,040
Speaker 4: just say, like you know, your paup Paul bought a

477
00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:14,200
Speaker 4: house for you know, fifty thousand dollars fifty years ago,

478
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:17,080
Speaker 4: and like that house is now worth six hundred thousand,

479
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:20,159
Speaker 4: just because that's just the way, you know, and in

480
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:23,800
Speaker 4: you inherit that because you know, something happens, he passes away,

481
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:26,720
Speaker 4: then you potentially can be on the hook for what

482
00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:29,680
Speaker 4: taxes inheriting six hundred thousand dollars or seven hundred thousand

483
00:23:29,680 --> 00:23:31,800
Speaker 4: dollars would look like. So what often happens is the

484
00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:34,080
Speaker 4: family has to sell the property just to get the

485
00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:36,720
Speaker 4: tax money, and it defeats the purpose of growing this

486
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:39,320
Speaker 4: generational wealth. And it's like ugh, you know, and so

487
00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:41,960
Speaker 4: but with the trust, my hope is that i have

488
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:44,320
Speaker 4: set aside money for taxes. But I've also set aside

489
00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:46,520
Speaker 4: like you don't have to you're not inheriting the homes

490
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:49,000
Speaker 4: or whatever my assets are because you already kind of

491
00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:51,600
Speaker 4: they're already in the trust and you're already a part

492
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:53,600
Speaker 4: of the trust now, you know. Plus the trust will

493
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:55,640
Speaker 4: allow you not to have to go to probate cord,

494
00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:58,240
Speaker 4: which is like basically ringside seats to all your business,

495
00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:00,680
Speaker 4: you know, where everybody can kind of know like all

496
00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:02,600
Speaker 4: that I owned and everything else. And then you have

497
00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:05,120
Speaker 4: you know, predators coming out, you know, trust everything kind

498
00:24:05,119 --> 00:24:06,480
Speaker 4: of say blocked in secrets.

499
00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:09,760
Speaker 2: So these are things as we get older, you know that.

500
00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:12,480
Speaker 4: They're not easy, but you want to start to have

501
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:15,880
Speaker 4: the conversation now with like yourself, your your partner, your

502
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:19,159
Speaker 4: parents of what does that look like because death is

503
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:22,520
Speaker 4: the most common, uncommon thing, you know, Like we know

504
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:25,560
Speaker 4: people die literally every minute of the day, but it

505
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:28,560
Speaker 4: doesn't feel like they guarantee yes, but it never's like

506
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:31,600
Speaker 4: not my people, not our people, but one day it

507
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:34,600
Speaker 4: will be. And so what can we do to minimize

508
00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:38,680
Speaker 4: the financial I guess hard to during that time, you know, and.

509
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:41,879
Speaker 3: My dad's family, the mortality is. So it's like with

510
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:44,159
Speaker 3: us at the dinner table, you know, because there's just

511
00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:49,640
Speaker 3: so much chronic illness and you know and almost those

512
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:53,080
Speaker 3: you know, just generational trauma and the weight of that

513
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:56,639
Speaker 3: as well, like just it probably wasn't good for the

514
00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:58,560
Speaker 3: mental health. But I steep myself in a lot. I

515
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:00,480
Speaker 3: was like I just talked to everybody and I was like,

516
00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:02,400
Speaker 3: how we understand, you know, you kind of go through

517
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:03,880
Speaker 3: life and like, oh, yeah, I don't talk to him,

518
00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:05,960
Speaker 3: I don't talk to her, but I wonder what what happened,

519
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:08,760
Speaker 3: And just writing to the funeral with my dad and

520
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:11,560
Speaker 3: his half brother and they, I tell you, those grown

521
00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:15,440
Speaker 3: assmen bickering like eight year olds. No, you should know

522
00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:18,040
Speaker 3: you should have would you say, oh, so what I said? I,

523
00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:19,359
Speaker 3: you know, trying to get.

524
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:21,520
Speaker 2: What's happening.

525
00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:24,399
Speaker 3: I was, and the drama with like you know, and

526
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:27,280
Speaker 3: even though my my, my, my grandpa did have a lot,

527
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:30,840
Speaker 3: he had everything sort of like settled and figured out,

528
00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:33,800
Speaker 3: and he you know, was well organized. Honestly, in the

529
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:36,240
Speaker 3: end there was there was still that sibling dynamic, and

530
00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:38,760
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, we need to make sure why sibling

531
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:41,679
Speaker 3: relationships are. I think the best thing you can do

532
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:44,200
Speaker 3: as a parent almost is not just leave your estate,

533
00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:46,680
Speaker 3: but leave your kids in shape, like leave them with

534
00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:51,159
Speaker 3: strong relationship with each other. And that's easier said than done.

535
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:54,960
Speaker 3: But it made me completely just like, oh, we're going

536
00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:56,879
Speaker 3: to figure this out because we got to be we

537
00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:58,240
Speaker 3: got to be on the same page, We got to

538
00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:01,840
Speaker 3: be you know in lockstep my brother and I because

539
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:05,800
Speaker 3: it's it's nasty. I don't want to, you know, end

540
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:10,119
Speaker 3: up in a space where my kids are fighting, you know,

541
00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:12,800
Speaker 3: when we should be just all that. It's just messy.

542
00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:16,399
Speaker 3: It's messy. I know, it's so common, like not especially

543
00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:18,280
Speaker 3: the funeral people. When I was calling, like, you know,

544
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:20,879
Speaker 3: I don't know how to explain this, but like so

545
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,280
Speaker 3: and so's name is the obituary. It's like, not okay,

546
00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:25,040
Speaker 3: but like, you know, the person who said admitted it

547
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:27,399
Speaker 3: to you didn't let her view it. And they're like, say, less,

548
00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:28,320
Speaker 3: we know how to deal.

549
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:31,720
Speaker 2: We got it. Honestly.

550
00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:33,560
Speaker 4: When I went to the funeral home for for Jirell,

551
00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:37,000
Speaker 4: the lady could not believe one She's like, you're so calm,

552
00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:40,480
Speaker 4: and I was like, girl, tama right, but also too,

553
00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:42,600
Speaker 4: she was like, cause I went. I came with you know,

554
00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:46,440
Speaker 4: Jirell's twin and Fatima, and she was like, I don't

555
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:49,959
Speaker 4: know that I've ever seen such a peaceful you know, weah,

556
00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:53,000
Speaker 4: you know, at least at that time, but we were,

557
00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:55,760
Speaker 4: you know, but at that time, like and I didn't

558
00:26:55,920 --> 00:27:02,960
Speaker 4: realize just how tumoual tumochual tumochual tumultuous, tumultuous. I did

559
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:06,280
Speaker 4: not realize how crazy that time normally is because state

560
00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:07,040
Speaker 4: she couldn't believe.

561
00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:08,960
Speaker 3: She was like, is this real?

562
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:11,480
Speaker 4: You know, we had our stuff later, but at that time,

563
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:13,879
Speaker 4: you know, you know, I just think they were just all, like,

564
00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:14,440
Speaker 4: you know, in shock.

565
00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:17,080
Speaker 2: But yes, it's a it's a really really really.

566
00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:20,600
Speaker 4: Hard time, and people navigate grief differently, and sometimes they

567
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:23,639
Speaker 4: need a punching bag, and sometimes you know they're going

568
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:27,120
Speaker 4: to check out, and sometimes you know they're just in consultant.

569
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:28,919
Speaker 2: Like grief is like such a crazy thing and what

570
00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:31,600
Speaker 2: it brings out of people. So yeah, so I'm just,

571
00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:33,639
Speaker 2: you know, sorry for your loss, but I'm glad that

572
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:36,080
Speaker 2: you were able to bring the baby for some joy

573
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:37,440
Speaker 2: that people got to absorb.

574
00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:42,760
Speaker 3: You know, he really carried a lot. And I'm going

575
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:45,400
Speaker 3: to go to Georgia next June because I found out

576
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:48,879
Speaker 3: there's a family reunion in Carrollton, Georgia, where my people are. Y.

577
00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:52,600
Speaker 3: I love that my dad's people are from Carrollton and

578
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:54,600
Speaker 3: I have never been. I think I went once when

579
00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:57,040
Speaker 3: I was a little girl. All I recall is seeing

580
00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:59,080
Speaker 3: an outhouse and being like a board, get me out

581
00:27:59,119 --> 00:28:01,520
Speaker 3: of there. I don't want to live in this time.

582
00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:07,560
Speaker 3: But yeah, so I'm like, we're bringing the family and

583
00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:10,760
Speaker 3: distant distant relatives are organizing it and I can't wait.

584
00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:11,360
Speaker 3: I'm excited.

585
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:12,600
Speaker 2: I love that. Yeah.

586
00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:16,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, all right, not to be Debbie down ears back.

587
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:19,119
Speaker 2: You know this is important conversation studies we had. You

588
00:28:19,119 --> 00:28:20,080
Speaker 2: want to take a break?

589
00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:23,520
Speaker 3: Yes? Please? All right guys, right after break?

590
00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:31,440
Speaker 6: Yes, and now we are back and now it's time

591
00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:34,920
Speaker 6: to boost up, bring up, boost up, break up, boost up.

592
00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:38,920
Speaker 2: Break up, boost. Oh you're gonna boost? Are you gonnaupbreak?

593
00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:43,040
Speaker 2: What you're gonna do? What you long take?

594
00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:47,040
Speaker 4: So it's booster breaking if you haven't been here, if

595
00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:49,400
Speaker 4: you're new, we do something called brown boots brown break,

596
00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:53,120
Speaker 4: where if we're gonna boost, we say something really great

597
00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:54,360
Speaker 4: that we want more of, give.

598
00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:57,520
Speaker 2: Me, gimme, gimme and break and we're like, uh, we're

599
00:28:57,520 --> 00:29:00,920
Speaker 2: good on that. Yeah, let's just so, do you want

600
00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:03,040
Speaker 2: to go first? Second? How you how you feel it?

601
00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:06,320
Speaker 3: I'm good with going first. I feel like, okay, ask

602
00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:07,960
Speaker 3: me means I have to No, No.

603
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:09,840
Speaker 2: I'm good either way because I'm breaking. You know, I

604
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:12,120
Speaker 2: hardly have a break. Oh, but I'm breaking on today.

605
00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:14,720
Speaker 3: Oh, Okay, I'll let you finish on because it sounds

606
00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:17,160
Speaker 3: like you got something. Yeah, I see the glints in

607
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:18,680
Speaker 3: your eye and like it was gonna be a good one.

608
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:23,400
Speaker 3: I want to do a boost because I have I

609
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:26,000
Speaker 3: think I'm the last person on earth to read this

610
00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:28,440
Speaker 3: book called Attached. I don't want to have you heard

611
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:32,160
Speaker 3: of Attached? No, okay, so I'm the second to last

612
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:36,080
Speaker 3: person on earth. But shout out to Morgan Debon, who's

613
00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:39,240
Speaker 3: a frequent Brand Ambition guest and the CEO of Blabberty

614
00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:43,000
Speaker 3: Blaberty Blavity, because I was listening to her podcast and

615
00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:46,440
Speaker 3: she mentioned it in one of her shows. She started

616
00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:49,680
Speaker 3: to comment on someone's house. Someone was talking about a relationship,

617
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:51,880
Speaker 3: and she was like, oh, your anxious attachment, you know,

618
00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:54,920
Speaker 3: And then she recommended this book. And it came at

619
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:57,960
Speaker 3: such a perfect time, the mention of the book, because

620
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:01,040
Speaker 3: I started to I started to read up on the

621
00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:04,720
Speaker 3: concept of it, which is about four different styles of attachment.

622
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:07,040
Speaker 3: And you're a preschool teacher, so you probably remember like

623
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:10,200
Speaker 3: this is often how you like talk about children and

624
00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:15,040
Speaker 3: their attachment to their their parents. And because of your upbringing,

625
00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:19,120
Speaker 3: like you have a certain kind of attachment and this

626
00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:23,920
Speaker 3: neuroscientist and psychologist. He combined. He took this the same

627
00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:29,480
Speaker 3: the same principles and applied it to all relationships. So

628
00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:33,600
Speaker 3: your attachment style in romantic relationships, as a boss, as

629
00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:37,880
Speaker 3: a friend, and kind it's just like and it's why

630
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:43,400
Speaker 3: it's kind of cracked open my my how I how

631
00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:47,720
Speaker 3: I like what I understand about myself and beyond all

632
00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:50,360
Speaker 3: the therapy I've taken, it's just like really like an

633
00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:54,280
Speaker 3: aha moment, is how I am an anxious attachment person.

634
00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:56,800
Speaker 2: Okay, what are the four what are the four attachment styles?

635
00:30:56,800 --> 00:30:58,640
Speaker 3: The four attachment styles? I didn't I don't want to

636
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:01,920
Speaker 3: go deep into it because obviously I'm not this person,

637
00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:03,680
Speaker 3: and I think y'all should read the book for yourselves.

638
00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:05,720
Speaker 3: But there's four there's and they're not I want to say,

639
00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:09,040
Speaker 3: it's been in advance. There's no bad attachment style. This

640
00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:11,560
Speaker 3: is like the Actually, if you want a quick little

641
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:14,960
Speaker 3: primer on it, listen to the NPR podcast Life Kit,

642
00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:18,040
Speaker 3: because the author was interviewed. It's like a twenty minute

643
00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:22,160
Speaker 3: show and he kind of lays it out. Anyway, anxious attachment, Okay,

644
00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:28,120
Speaker 3: avoidant attachment, anxious avoidant, and the fourth one is secure.

645
00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:30,400
Speaker 3: It may sound like the secure ones and one you

646
00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:32,560
Speaker 3: want to be, but they're they're not like it's not

647
00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:35,160
Speaker 3: like a wrong way, it's it's just the way you

648
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:38,680
Speaker 3: are because of your childhood and on other things. And

649
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:41,360
Speaker 3: the great thing about the book is that when you

650
00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:48,640
Speaker 3: understand your attachment style, you can help your partner, your friends,

651
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:52,920
Speaker 3: your family understand your attachment style and they can understand

652
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:57,000
Speaker 3: how to support you and treat you as an individual

653
00:31:57,120 --> 00:31:59,240
Speaker 3: because of your unique attachment style. So I'll give you

654
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:02,840
Speaker 3: an example as an ancient and ancient as an anxious

655
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:05,680
Speaker 3: attachment person, Tiff, I thought about you with this too,

656
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:08,840
Speaker 3: because you may not know this. Sometimes I after you

657
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:10,800
Speaker 3: and I talk, I feel like I've done a couple

658
00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:11,240
Speaker 3: of times.

659
00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:12,640
Speaker 2: I'll like the day.

660
00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:14,160
Speaker 3: The day will go by and I'll be like, wait

661
00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:16,800
Speaker 3: a second, was she offended that I said that she

662
00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:19,640
Speaker 3: she gonna be mad at me? And I'll call real

663
00:32:19,760 --> 00:32:20,800
Speaker 3: quick and just be like, I just want to be

664
00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:22,800
Speaker 3: sure that you weren't upset when I said da da

665
00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:25,800
Speaker 3: da da, And you're like, what, No, But I have

666
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:28,479
Speaker 3: an anxious attachment style where I need a lot of

667
00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:33,080
Speaker 3: like reassurance from the people that I am in relationships with.

668
00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:39,280
Speaker 2: I'm over here, order on. I got seven credits ordered seven.

669
00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:43,520
Speaker 3: I'm surprised because you read a lot of audio books.

670
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:46,080
Speaker 3: My husband downloaded this morning too, because I was like,

671
00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:49,080
Speaker 3: we really need this because I am married to an

672
00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:53,920
Speaker 3: avoidant and that can be it's quite common for those

673
00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:57,600
Speaker 3: two types of attachments to be attracted to each other.

674
00:32:57,600 --> 00:33:01,280
Speaker 3: As what I gather anyway, I'll get into that, but anyway,

675
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:06,360
Speaker 3: so my attachment style is that I really need, like, uh,

676
00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:11,880
Speaker 3: the reassurance yes, like hey I got to work, okay, Hey,

677
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:14,480
Speaker 3: I was just thinking about you. Hey, I love you.

678
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:17,760
Speaker 3: You know. There's like these memes about being a wife

679
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:21,160
Speaker 3: who's like, hey, I just like, I don't know, I

680
00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:22,600
Speaker 3: just left a big mess in the kitchen. Do you

681
00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:23,160
Speaker 3: still love me?

682
00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:23,880
Speaker 4: Yeah?

683
00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:26,479
Speaker 3: And you kind of roll yourize like yeah, but if

684
00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:26,760
Speaker 3: I was.

685
00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:28,440
Speaker 2: If I was a worm, would you love me?

686
00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:31,320
Speaker 3: Those are the most exactly if I gave five hundred pounds,

687
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:35,000
Speaker 3: if I ended up a quadriplegic, you know, would you

688
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:38,360
Speaker 3: still love me? Or Also this you came home late

689
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:42,000
Speaker 3: is something the matter isn't mean? You know? Is this

690
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:44,320
Speaker 3: a sign? Or we got into an argument? Oh are

691
00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:46,520
Speaker 3: we gonna get divorced? Is this is over? Are we

692
00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:50,040
Speaker 3: wrong for each other? Questioning? Questioning, questioning, poking, poking, poking,

693
00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:51,800
Speaker 3: anxious attachment style. I could be.

694
00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:54,400
Speaker 2: Okay, I can't wait to readcause I'm like, there's I

695
00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:57,320
Speaker 2: feel like I sometimes can feel like that, but sometimes

696
00:33:57,880 --> 00:34:00,080
Speaker 2: quite the opposite. Because I'm Jiroll was like that, I

697
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:01,640
Speaker 2: can understand. I'm like, oh my god, he'd be like,

698
00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:03,240
Speaker 2: when you land, let me know when you when you're

699
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:05,920
Speaker 2: in the plane, when you're when you're you know, And

700
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:07,920
Speaker 2: every time I remember, he'd like, you have a business

701
00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:11,280
Speaker 2: trip in a hotel, like with somebody. I'm like, no,

702
00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:15,480
Speaker 2: But now I'm thinking like, oh, was he an anxious

703
00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:16,320
Speaker 2: attached you know?

704
00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:19,759
Speaker 3: I don't know, but I'm I will say that. My

705
00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:22,239
Speaker 3: favorite feature on the iPhone is you can share your

706
00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:26,239
Speaker 3: location with people. And I'm like, I think I know

707
00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:30,319
Speaker 3: why because I like, I will I know that people

708
00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:32,360
Speaker 3: are where they say they are. I track just a

709
00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:37,640
Speaker 3: few people and most of them know I do no

710
00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:40,480
Speaker 3: but honestly, but just to make sure, oh they're they

711
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:42,160
Speaker 3: got to work okay, Okay, I feel better now they

712
00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:43,759
Speaker 3: don't need to like, I don't need to text them like,

713
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:45,560
Speaker 3: oh they're there, They're where they said they were going

714
00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:49,839
Speaker 3: to be, Oh, no, they whatever, and I and I

715
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:51,680
Speaker 3: really want to and I want to urge y'all to

716
00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:54,480
Speaker 3: just don't judge what you know, because I think that

717
00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:58,960
Speaker 3: there's don't judge the attachment style, and you have to.

718
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:01,760
Speaker 3: My approach is going to be understand it and start

719
00:35:02,239 --> 00:35:06,360
Speaker 3: speaking to that start changing your response to that person

720
00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:09,759
Speaker 3: so that you can honor their attachment style. And it's

721
00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:15,319
Speaker 3: already it's already changing the dynamic of my marriage, and

722
00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:18,120
Speaker 3: I imagine my friendships and my family too. But I'm

723
00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:21,160
Speaker 3: very early into it. But yeah, Attached is the book.

724
00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:22,560
Speaker 2: I love that, Thank you.

725
00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:23,520
Speaker 3: I love the good books.

726
00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:26,360
Speaker 2: Somebody actually just gave me a book today since we

727
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:27,480
Speaker 2: talked books like.

728
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:30,680
Speaker 4: She didn't give it to but I a friend of

729
00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:32,840
Speaker 4: mine was telling me because she's like looking at getting

730
00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:34,520
Speaker 4: like a different job.

731
00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:35,640
Speaker 2: Let me see in my library.

732
00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:38,279
Speaker 4: I just put it into wish lists and it is

733
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:40,840
Speaker 4: called necessary Endings. You know, as I'm making this transition,

734
00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:44,280
Speaker 4: remember we talked about that, and so it says necessary

735
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:48,520
Speaker 4: endings the employees, businesses and relationships that all of us

736
00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:50,520
Speaker 4: have to give up in order to move forward.

737
00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:53,200
Speaker 3: I was like, ooh, I love that girl.

738
00:35:53,719 --> 00:35:56,719
Speaker 2: Literally like it's everything I've been talking about it.

739
00:35:56,760 --> 00:35:59,359
Speaker 4: I was like, oh my god, so that's another book

740
00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:02,759
Speaker 4: by doctor hen Cloud. So that's in my whistless tune

741
00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:05,600
Speaker 4: I've been so yeah, I'm like, my my two hour

742
00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:08,319
Speaker 4: walks will be filled with like listening to these two.

743
00:36:08,480 --> 00:36:09,640
Speaker 2: I was looking for like two new books.

744
00:36:09,680 --> 00:36:13,080
Speaker 3: So this is great, perfect, all right, I'm eager to

745
00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:14,560
Speaker 3: hear your breaking.

746
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:19,879
Speaker 4: My break is United Airlines. If you was a girl,

747
00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:21,400
Speaker 4: I'll kick your ass.

748
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:25,360
Speaker 3: That's like thinking about that is the Jersey Airport that

749
00:36:25,480 --> 00:36:26,280
Speaker 3: is I mean.

750
00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:27,320
Speaker 2: So let me tell you.

751
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:33,160
Speaker 4: I am a premiere one K customer, which is like

752
00:36:33,239 --> 00:36:35,240
Speaker 4: I think the only thing above that is like Global something.

753
00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:38,120
Speaker 2: But it's like, you know, meaning like you fly a lot. Sis.

754
00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:39,200
Speaker 2: I'm very loyal to.

755
00:36:39,239 --> 00:36:41,480
Speaker 4: United Airlines because quite honestly, their their hub, one of

756
00:36:41,520 --> 00:36:43,680
Speaker 4: their major hubs is Newark, and I live in Newark

757
00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:47,120
Speaker 4: and and so like it's just you know, convenient.

758
00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:49,280
Speaker 2: Plus, you know, if you're gonna when it comes.

759
00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:50,880
Speaker 4: To the airlines, if you fly a lot, it behooves

760
00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:53,319
Speaker 4: you to kind of pick a specific one because they're

761
00:36:53,360 --> 00:36:56,200
Speaker 4: just benefits, like you know, being able to a board early,

762
00:36:56,480 --> 00:37:00,399
Speaker 4: you know, not having to pay for baggage. So they're

763
00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:03,880
Speaker 4: supposed to benefits. I can't tell, but they're supposed to benefits.

764
00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:05,120
Speaker 2: And like I said, Premi.

765
00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:06,560
Speaker 4: York one K is like really one of their top

766
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:08,400
Speaker 4: top because I've you know, I've flown hundreds of thousands

767
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:11,640
Speaker 4: of miles in United so and I've never really had

768
00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:14,120
Speaker 4: an issue, you know. I mean I've flown other airlines too,

769
00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:16,600
Speaker 4: because sometimes it's just way cheaper, or maybe like a

770
00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:18,520
Speaker 4: brand wants to fly me somewhere and they're flying me

771
00:37:18,560 --> 00:37:22,560
Speaker 4: on whatever. So I know that I'm very well aware

772
00:37:22,560 --> 00:37:24,919
Speaker 4: that delays and cancelations. They happen, you know, I mean,

773
00:37:25,239 --> 00:37:29,759
Speaker 4: it happens. But the last three flights home there have

774
00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:32,320
Speaker 4: been delayed, delayed, delayed, cancelation, and I've never seen anything

775
00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:33,600
Speaker 4: like it. So I'll give you the first time. So

776
00:37:33,680 --> 00:37:38,320
Speaker 4: I went to Nashville in June July or July or

777
00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:42,040
Speaker 4: something like that or June for this author conference. Flow

778
00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:45,759
Speaker 4: to Nashville, no problem, you know, it was great. I

779
00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:48,600
Speaker 4: get a text like the day before, oh, your flight

780
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:52,200
Speaker 4: has been your flight for tomorrow has been canceled. And

781
00:37:52,239 --> 00:37:53,440
Speaker 4: I said, I wasn't even mad because I was, like,

782
00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:55,279
Speaker 4: I wasn't in a rush to get home, and I

783
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:57,120
Speaker 4: was like okay, They're like, we'll fly you out the

784
00:37:57,120 --> 00:37:57,480
Speaker 4: next day.

785
00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:59,520
Speaker 2: I said, you know, no problem, you know.

786
00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:02,680
Speaker 4: And then the next day it was like your fly

787
00:38:02,920 --> 00:38:04,120
Speaker 4: that also flight has been canceled.

788
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:05,680
Speaker 2: We'll fly you out like two days from now. I said,

789
00:38:05,719 --> 00:38:08,279
Speaker 2: you won't because do I live in Nashville? Is it

790
00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:11,600
Speaker 2: crack and smoking? I called them, was like, no, are.

791
00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:13,440
Speaker 3: You crazy to let you get a different airline?

792
00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:17,200
Speaker 2: Girl, a hotel and all that. They didn't. They gave

793
00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:17,799
Speaker 2: me such a like.

794
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:20,400
Speaker 4: So I called and I'm like, you know, no, you

795
00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:22,680
Speaker 4: have to get me on another flight and they were like, oh,

796
00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:24,200
Speaker 4: this is the best we could do two days out.

797
00:38:24,239 --> 00:38:25,719
Speaker 4: So where will I stay? What will I eat?

798
00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:27,480
Speaker 2: And I'm still fighting for my money back.

799
00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:29,239
Speaker 4: So I ended up having to I call my friend Cabra,

800
00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:32,280
Speaker 4: who travels way more than me, and he flies with Delta.

801
00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:34,080
Speaker 4: He's a Diamond member, which is like the top top

802
00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:36,719
Speaker 4: top top, you know, and so like he always so

803
00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:39,080
Speaker 4: when he calls, they picked up like hello, mister Cabrel.

804
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:40,920
Speaker 4: So he got me a ticket. I had to It

805
00:38:40,960 --> 00:38:43,759
Speaker 4: was like seven hundred dollars I had to pay, you know,

806
00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:45,360
Speaker 4: because then I did actually have to get home so

807
00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:47,160
Speaker 4: I had to pay at a pocket seven hundred dollars.

808
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:49,200
Speaker 4: I flew home and I've been fighting and I did

809
00:38:49,239 --> 00:38:50,359
Speaker 4: for my money back ever since.

810
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:54,880
Speaker 2: So that was strike. Strike took too, was y'all know.

811
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:58,320
Speaker 4: I took baby girl Alissa sixteen for her sixteenth birthday.

812
00:38:58,360 --> 00:39:01,399
Speaker 4: She just turned seventeen, but this is and I took

813
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:04,000
Speaker 4: her in August to London, Paris and near Mafi Coast

814
00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:05,719
Speaker 4: for her sixteenth birthday, you know, because I told her

815
00:39:05,719 --> 00:39:07,440
Speaker 4: no more gifts every year. You just we pick a

816
00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:08,640
Speaker 4: place you want to go and we go in that

817
00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:09,960
Speaker 4: summer the following summer.

818
00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:11,799
Speaker 2: So she picked that and.

819
00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:13,600
Speaker 4: We went, had a great time, you know, and you

820
00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:15,120
Speaker 4: know she's got a little antique. You know, she missed

821
00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:17,000
Speaker 4: her mama. Of course, you know, she's still a kid.

822
00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:20,320
Speaker 4: So imagine my dismay when you wake up that morning,

823
00:39:20,320 --> 00:39:21,879
Speaker 4: you know, getting ready to pack, and it's like, oh,

824
00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:23,800
Speaker 4: your flight has been canceled.

825
00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:25,840
Speaker 2: I said, wait a minute.

826
00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:29,160
Speaker 4: Minute, not just canceled, but we rebooked you three days

827
00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:29,480
Speaker 4: from now.

828
00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:35,320
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm in Italy. What and we've also booked

829
00:39:35,360 --> 00:39:37,000
Speaker 2: you and Alyssa on two separate flights.

830
00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:41,160
Speaker 4: I said, you know what, No, I called up, and

831
00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:43,319
Speaker 4: I was like, literally, I got the text and I

832
00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:45,440
Speaker 4: called within like because sometimes you know, like there might

833
00:39:45,440 --> 00:39:46,560
Speaker 4: be only two seats left somewhere.

834
00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:48,279
Speaker 2: And I called and at first they were like, oh,

835
00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:49,279
Speaker 2: there's nothing we can help you with.

836
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:51,480
Speaker 4: And but Cabrol taught me to say, can I speak

837
00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:54,680
Speaker 4: to a lead or supervisor? Because a lady on the phone,

838
00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:56,719
Speaker 4: you know, she did her best, I guess, and so

839
00:39:56,760 --> 00:39:58,560
Speaker 4: I got a leader of supervisor on the phone. I said,

840
00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:00,560
Speaker 4: I am currently in Italy. I do not live in Italy,

841
00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:04,200
Speaker 4: and for us one to be leaving three days from now,

842
00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:06,439
Speaker 4: I can't even guarantee the hotel it's gonna have space

843
00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:08,880
Speaker 4: for us, because that's not how that works, yeah, you know.

844
00:40:09,080 --> 00:40:10,640
Speaker 4: And two, I mean, I'm in a really.

845
00:40:10,560 --> 00:40:13,400
Speaker 2: Expensive hotel which I paid for points, you know, so

846
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:15,040
Speaker 2: I'm like, so for me to stay, ain't no more

847
00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:16,680
Speaker 2: points left.

848
00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:19,520
Speaker 4: I don't remember if there wasn't that, but it was

849
00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:22,160
Speaker 4: not inexpensive. It was like, you know, the hotel that

850
00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:24,080
Speaker 4: we chose. I chose a fancy one because we used points.

851
00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:26,640
Speaker 4: It was like seven eight hundred dollars a night something crazy,

852
00:40:26,719 --> 00:40:26,920
Speaker 4: you know.

853
00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:28,560
Speaker 2: But I was like, I don't care. I'm using my

854
00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:29,520
Speaker 2: MX points.

855
00:40:30,719 --> 00:40:32,400
Speaker 4: And so, but I had exhausted them for the trip,

856
00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:35,960
Speaker 4: and so I was really really pissed and so and

857
00:40:36,120 --> 00:40:37,480
Speaker 4: I was like, and you have me on a separate

858
00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:39,719
Speaker 4: flight than my stepdaughter, who is a minor. This is

859
00:40:39,719 --> 00:40:42,319
Speaker 4: her only her second international flight because the first one

860
00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:45,279
Speaker 4: brought us here, you know, and so you know, so

861
00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:46,920
Speaker 4: I listen looking like I'm flying by myself.

862
00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:49,080
Speaker 2: I'm like, no, we're not. That's crazy.

863
00:40:49,480 --> 00:40:51,840
Speaker 4: So thankfully the supervisor was able to get it. We

864
00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:53,960
Speaker 4: got on a flight the next day, and we were

865
00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:56,400
Speaker 4: able to come home. But I'm still fighting again for

866
00:40:56,560 --> 00:40:58,279
Speaker 4: the for the money back from you know, like cause

867
00:40:58,280 --> 00:40:59,640
Speaker 4: I had to spend then extra night in a hotel.

868
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:02,360
Speaker 4: He had a pocket, you know, and so that was

869
00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:03,560
Speaker 4: not my fault, that's your fault.

870
00:41:03,680 --> 00:41:06,560
Speaker 2: And now this is my third trip in like three months.

871
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:09,320
Speaker 4: I go to Atlanta because I'm speaking at the A

872
00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:13,279
Speaker 4: three C conference, which is this like tech entertainment and

873
00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:16,160
Speaker 4: financial conference, which is great, and then I stayed because

874
00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:18,439
Speaker 4: I had the team trip. Now I had to come

875
00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:21,000
Speaker 4: back home to speak at Culture Con, which is this

876
00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:24,080
Speaker 4: huge like huge, I mean, everybody was it if you

877
00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:26,000
Speaker 4: were black and like well known.

878
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:27,080
Speaker 2: I didn't realize how big it.

879
00:41:27,120 --> 00:41:31,120
Speaker 3: Was I've every time the culture con happened, something happens

880
00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:32,040
Speaker 3: and I'm not here.

881
00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:35,800
Speaker 2: I mean every time, and that was not I'm not

882
00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:38,400
Speaker 2: gonna lie. I was nervous. I said, oh god, so

883
00:41:38,440 --> 00:41:38,800
Speaker 2: I booked.

884
00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:41,080
Speaker 4: My flight was booked, but I said, oh god, I

885
00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:42,640
Speaker 4: just got a weird feeling. I was like, you know,

886
00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:45,080
Speaker 4: United the last three times I couldn't get home. So

887
00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:46,799
Speaker 4: I get there first. I get the first text, which

888
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:49,239
Speaker 4: says your flight has been delayed. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

889
00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:51,320
Speaker 4: no no no. I get there early. I get to

890
00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:54,040
Speaker 4: the airport, like three hours early, I said. I told

891
00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:56,360
Speaker 4: the gate agent, I said, can you put me like

892
00:41:56,400 --> 00:41:58,480
Speaker 4: on an earlier flight because this flight. She's like, it's

893
00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:00,799
Speaker 4: not gonna be canceled and it's been delayed, but i'll

894
00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:02,720
Speaker 4: put you on standby in the earlier flight. I said, okay,

895
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:04,880
Speaker 4: stand by didn't work, I said, but she said, you

896
00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:05,920
Speaker 4: sed toll have a seat on this flight.

897
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:07,319
Speaker 2: I said, well, what if it gets canceled. She said,

898
00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:10,520
Speaker 2: it's not be positive and I was like, that's what

899
00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:12,919
Speaker 2: she said, I think positively. I said, all right, girls,

900
00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:14,000
Speaker 2: I'm waiting. I'm waiting. I'm waiting.

901
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:18,000
Speaker 4: It seems great. Ten minutes to board, We're like, okay, oh,

902
00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:21,160
Speaker 4: I'm so sorry, guys. Flight has been canceled. The flight,

903
00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:24,680
Speaker 4: the airplane never left Newark. Now here's the thing. Right now,

904
00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:28,840
Speaker 4: it's nine pms. And when a plan has not left

905
00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:32,359
Speaker 4: you knew that, So why would we not tell told

906
00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:35,240
Speaker 4: ahead of time? So now you have hundreds of people

907
00:42:35,239 --> 00:42:38,600
Speaker 4: scrambling to plug in holes other places. So instantly I called,

908
00:42:39,080 --> 00:42:41,080
Speaker 4: of course United, there's nothing we can do. They're calling

909
00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:42,719
Speaker 4: Delta to see if they can get me on a

910
00:42:42,760 --> 00:42:45,640
Speaker 4: Delta flight. But also I called Cabrel again to you

911
00:42:45,719 --> 00:42:48,160
Speaker 4: to his diamond status to get me on the flight.

912
00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:50,920
Speaker 4: Everything is they've already plugged people into like the few

913
00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:52,640
Speaker 4: seats that were left over in another airline, And I

914
00:42:52,719 --> 00:42:54,600
Speaker 4: was like, I need to I'm doing it. I'm doing

915
00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:56,719
Speaker 4: a I'm speaking on the main stage at Culture Con.

916
00:42:56,719 --> 00:42:59,040
Speaker 4: These people have paid me not only for Culture Con

917
00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:01,520
Speaker 4: but Patreon. I had a breakout session with them. I

918
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:03,480
Speaker 4: was doing that too, and I was just like, I

919
00:43:03,560 --> 00:43:05,040
Speaker 4: have to get home and I have to be on

920
00:43:05,080 --> 00:43:08,040
Speaker 4: stage by nine thirty am. And so we tried everything.

921
00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:12,160
Speaker 4: I mean, Cabrell did give me a flight to Philly. He'said,

922
00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:13,359
Speaker 4: I'll pick you up in Philly. This is what best

923
00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:15,040
Speaker 4: he's to be doing. He said, I'll get you a

924
00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:18,240
Speaker 4: flight to Philly. Booked it seven hundred and something dollars

925
00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:20,879
Speaker 4: and I was like okay, but I because I never

926
00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:22,400
Speaker 4: checked bags, but of course I checked the bag. So

927
00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:26,520
Speaker 4: I had to leave, you know, like the gate and

928
00:43:26,560 --> 00:43:29,839
Speaker 4: then check back in, which was a nightmare because I

929
00:43:29,880 --> 00:43:31,719
Speaker 4: have clear I have TSA pre check. But by then

930
00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:34,360
Speaker 4: it was like ten o'clock at night. Nothing was open,

931
00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:38,640
Speaker 4: so the normal general like you know, boarding was a nightmare.

932
00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:41,960
Speaker 2: Then TSA the machine broke and I literally was like

933
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:43,880
Speaker 2: police pleicly. I literally was like police place, plic plicy.

934
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:46,520
Speaker 2: If I could just get at the Atlanta Airport, yes,

935
00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:49,400
Speaker 2: which is an huge Yes, Yeah, it's a nightmare that

936
00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:51,319
Speaker 2: in Orlando are the two worst airports I've ever been

937
00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:53,000
Speaker 2: on as far as like chaos.

938
00:43:53,040 --> 00:43:54,839
Speaker 4: And I was a police but I still had time.

939
00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:56,319
Speaker 4: I was like a police pit, police plice. I remember

940
00:43:56,360 --> 00:43:58,359
Speaker 4: there was a pilot he saw me like welling up.

941
00:43:58,560 --> 00:44:00,960
Speaker 4: He was like, get her bag out of them, so

942
00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:04,000
Speaker 4: they gave me my bag. I run to try to

943
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:06,520
Speaker 4: make my gate and I see them closing the door

944
00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:07,479
Speaker 4: you should have seen me many.

945
00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:09,839
Speaker 2: I was like what. I literally am like yelling.

946
00:44:09,640 --> 00:44:14,160
Speaker 3: Oh my god, and we're closing.

947
00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:16,160
Speaker 4: The door and they're like, how's the police with police

948
00:44:16,239 --> 00:44:18,040
Speaker 4: and he was like, no, we've already given your seato

949
00:44:18,080 --> 00:44:20,440
Speaker 4: win because you know, like because you know, like that's

950
00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:23,879
Speaker 4: what standby is when I tell you the boohoo who

951
00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:24,520
Speaker 4: boo who.

952
00:44:24,680 --> 00:44:26,200
Speaker 2: I felt like, like, you know, like when you see

953
00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:29,319
Speaker 2: like these these like stories about like I don't know

954
00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:31,720
Speaker 2: about war and your husband is going off to work.

955
00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:32,440
Speaker 2: I was at the guest.

956
00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:38,800
Speaker 3: I feel I've been there later at night.

957
00:44:39,239 --> 00:44:45,279
Speaker 2: Girl, the way I slid to the ground, but at

958
00:44:45,320 --> 00:44:47,000
Speaker 2: the time, you know, the way they came up to me.

959
00:44:47,040 --> 00:44:49,279
Speaker 4: They were like what's happening? Because I was like, it

960
00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:52,520
Speaker 4: was already so much. And I was like, and then

961
00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:53,800
Speaker 4: you're not. It told me they can't get me on

962
00:44:53,800 --> 00:44:55,240
Speaker 4: a flight that would land me out of seven thirty.

963
00:44:55,239 --> 00:44:56,879
Speaker 4: I was like, okay, I can maybe make that work.

964
00:44:57,480 --> 00:45:00,359
Speaker 4: Of course, then they they but they they couldn't seven

965
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:03,120
Speaker 4: thirty in Philly, Yeah, no, seven thirty like in New

966
00:45:03,200 --> 00:45:06,000
Speaker 4: York the next morning, Okay, but then they couldn't.

967
00:45:06,239 --> 00:45:07,799
Speaker 2: And I just was like I just didn't know what

968
00:45:07,840 --> 00:45:09,319
Speaker 2: to do. I was like, I don't know what to do.

969
00:45:09,520 --> 00:45:10,960
Speaker 3: What is going on with them?

970
00:45:12,080 --> 00:45:15,000
Speaker 4: Cabra was like, well, if you could drive to South Carolina,

971
00:45:15,080 --> 00:45:15,520
Speaker 4: there's a flight.

972
00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:18,000
Speaker 2: I said, I'm not driving because then that's twenty four

973
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:19,319
Speaker 2: hours no sleep. It doesn't make sense.

974
00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:21,919
Speaker 4: I mean we looked at Washington flights, we looked at

975
00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:23,600
Speaker 4: you know, flights to like I mean, I.

976
00:45:23,600 --> 00:45:24,600
Speaker 2: Looked at every airline.

977
00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:26,800
Speaker 4: This is because by then it was like ten thirty

978
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:28,759
Speaker 4: at night, so it's like you're you know, it's just

979
00:45:28,800 --> 00:45:29,879
Speaker 4: limited and what you can do.

980
00:45:30,239 --> 00:45:32,320
Speaker 2: And I just was like, what is going on with United?

981
00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:35,799
Speaker 2: So finally I called United to be like just book

982
00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:37,440
Speaker 2: me on whatever. I'm just not going to make my thing.

983
00:45:37,600 --> 00:45:39,279
Speaker 2: And they're like, well, as soon as we can get

984
00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:41,279
Speaker 2: you home. It's like nine pm tomorrow. I'm like, is

985
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:42,280
Speaker 2: it crack and smoking?

986
00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:44,280
Speaker 4: So then I had to I just booked with Delta

987
00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:48,560
Speaker 4: and got home at twelve thirty in the afternoon, and

988
00:45:48,680 --> 00:45:53,879
Speaker 4: so I had called you know, United, well, so yeah,

989
00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:55,000
Speaker 4: I booked with Delta and they were like that this

990
00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:56,359
Speaker 4: is the earlies, we can get you back. So I

991
00:45:56,400 --> 00:45:59,120
Speaker 4: emailed the culture Con team. I was like, here's what's happening.

992
00:45:59,120 --> 00:46:01,360
Speaker 4: I'm in the airport for six hours. I did you

993
00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:02,799
Speaker 4: know they canceled my flight, they delayed it.

994
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:03,960
Speaker 2: You know, I laid it all out.

995
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:06,240
Speaker 4: I was like, I don't I will land in JFK,

996
00:46:06,520 --> 00:46:08,760
Speaker 4: not even Newark, my original, but I'll land in JFK

997
00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:10,000
Speaker 4: at twelve thirty.

998
00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:12,640
Speaker 2: You know, I don't know what else to do? Is there?

999
00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:13,200
Speaker 2: Like I don't.

1000
00:46:13,239 --> 00:46:15,960
Speaker 4: I'm you know, I'm open to suggestion because I don't

1001
00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:17,680
Speaker 4: want to miss speaking, you know.

1002
00:46:18,480 --> 00:46:20,200
Speaker 2: And they were like, okay, we could push you to

1003
00:46:20,560 --> 00:46:24,200
Speaker 2: four o'clock. I was like, okay, okay, we're waging it.

1004
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:28,279
Speaker 2: Huh oh no, okay. So I land at something I

1005
00:46:28,360 --> 00:46:29,000
Speaker 2: told you.

1006
00:46:28,680 --> 00:46:34,480
Speaker 3: I very anxious lately, right because this isious. I don't

1007
00:46:34,520 --> 00:46:37,359
Speaker 3: have any of my tools for my exact right now, but.

1008
00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:44,120
Speaker 4: I leave something, said my check bags. They were just like, Tiffy,

1009
00:46:44,160 --> 00:46:46,600
Speaker 4: don't worry about it. They're gonna be retagged. You're flying

1010
00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:48,480
Speaker 4: on delta, right. I said yes, And they were just

1011
00:46:48,520 --> 00:46:49,880
Speaker 4: like I said, but are you sure?

1012
00:46:50,400 --> 00:46:51,239
Speaker 3: Because I just.

1013
00:46:51,360 --> 00:46:52,040
Speaker 2: They're like no, no, no.

1014
00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:53,719
Speaker 4: And the guy was like, if you do feel really

1015
00:46:53,760 --> 00:46:56,719
Speaker 4: anxious about it, you're like, right before you board, there's

1016
00:46:56,760 --> 00:46:59,240
Speaker 4: like a delta bag. Like I was first one on line,

1017
00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:01,200
Speaker 4: and it was a nice older lady there, and she

1018
00:47:01,239 --> 00:47:02,520
Speaker 4: was like, I don't see it in the system, but.

1019
00:47:02,440 --> 00:47:03,719
Speaker 2: It should be retagged. You should be fine.

1020
00:47:03,719 --> 00:47:06,120
Speaker 4: I was like, I just need the bags because as

1021
00:47:06,120 --> 00:47:09,040
Speaker 4: a device. Now I am wearing, you know, like my

1022
00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:12,879
Speaker 4: airplane clothes. I literally had some birkenstocks on with socks

1023
00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:15,439
Speaker 4: and like you know, like sweatpants and like a T shirt.

1024
00:47:15,480 --> 00:47:18,319
Speaker 2: I was like, so I don't really need my bag

1025
00:47:18,360 --> 00:47:20,440
Speaker 2: things and she was like, no, no, don't worry. Don't you worries.

1026
00:47:20,480 --> 00:47:21,440
Speaker 2: Don't you worry?

1027
00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:24,360
Speaker 4: And I said, okay, so I land and of course

1028
00:47:24,680 --> 00:47:28,200
Speaker 4: my bags are lost, all my things. I was like,

1029
00:47:28,440 --> 00:47:33,560
Speaker 4: but thankfully, the one shining shining little like I guess

1030
00:47:33,600 --> 00:47:35,200
Speaker 4: that this was going to be a boost. You know,

1031
00:47:35,239 --> 00:47:38,160
Speaker 4: this is a break for United Damn Airlines, is that

1032
00:47:38,239 --> 00:47:40,080
Speaker 4: I had the air tag on my bag. So apparently,

1033
00:47:40,080 --> 00:47:41,719
Speaker 4: although I didn't make it to Philly, they did send

1034
00:47:41,760 --> 00:47:43,920
Speaker 4: my bag to Philly when they weren't supposed to. So

1035
00:47:44,040 --> 00:47:45,359
Speaker 4: you know, theyre supposed to pull your bag when you're

1036
00:47:45,360 --> 00:47:47,640
Speaker 4: out on the plane, you know. So I was showing

1037
00:47:47,640 --> 00:47:49,239
Speaker 4: the leady. I'm like, my back is in Philly. She's like, no,

1038
00:47:49,719 --> 00:47:51,640
Speaker 4: and the system is saying Atlanta. I was like, well,

1039
00:47:51,760 --> 00:47:53,399
Speaker 4: I don't know air tag, but I'm pretty sure they're

1040
00:47:53,440 --> 00:47:54,120
Speaker 4: not lying to me.

1041
00:47:54,239 --> 00:47:58,480
Speaker 3: Go I have to start doing that when I travel.

1042
00:47:58,480 --> 00:47:59,560
Speaker 3: I don't know why all.

1043
00:48:00,120 --> 00:48:01,840
Speaker 4: So I was like, you know, She's like, okay, well

1044
00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:04,359
Speaker 4: you could try to call Philadelphia. Like but and then

1045
00:48:04,400 --> 00:48:06,080
Speaker 4: and so the second this is what I will say,

1046
00:48:06,080 --> 00:48:08,200
Speaker 4: AirTag all your bags. And then the thing that really

1047
00:48:08,200 --> 00:48:09,479
Speaker 4: saved me was so low tech.

1048
00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:12,839
Speaker 2: So you know, like the luggage tag that you write

1049
00:48:12,880 --> 00:48:15,960
Speaker 2: your name, you know, like hardly anybody does it. I

1050
00:48:16,120 --> 00:48:16,440
Speaker 2: when I.

1051
00:48:16,360 --> 00:48:19,600
Speaker 4: Bought my luggage from Away, they like gifted me two

1052
00:48:19,719 --> 00:48:21,560
Speaker 4: leather luggage shags, you know, because when you spend a

1053
00:48:21,560 --> 00:48:24,319
Speaker 4: pallion dollars on stupid luggage, they give me these luggage tags.

1054
00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:26,440
Speaker 4: And I'd never used a luggage stag before, but I

1055
00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:28,279
Speaker 4: got I was like, you know what, I'm gonna put

1056
00:48:28,280 --> 00:48:30,200
Speaker 4: my name my email cause I felt off fancy. I

1057
00:48:30,239 --> 00:48:32,279
Speaker 4: had these nice, nice luggage and my phone number. My

1058
00:48:32,360 --> 00:48:34,800
Speaker 4: luggage tech click click. That is the only thing that

1059
00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:36,760
Speaker 4: saved my bag because it was just these two random

1060
00:48:36,840 --> 00:48:39,240
Speaker 4: light light bags sitting in Philadelphia airport.

1061
00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:41,160
Speaker 2: The lady looked at the luggage.

1062
00:48:40,840 --> 00:48:43,200
Speaker 4: Tag and saw my name my adjes saw my phone

1063
00:48:43,280 --> 00:48:45,880
Speaker 4: number and called was like, Hey, is this Tiffany from

1064
00:48:46,120 --> 00:48:46,760
Speaker 4: you know, Newark?

1065
00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:47,480
Speaker 3: I was like yes.

1066
00:48:47,840 --> 00:48:50,239
Speaker 4: She was like, we have your luggage here. I was

1067
00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:52,600
Speaker 4: like yes, and she was like, I don't see you

1068
00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:54,120
Speaker 4: on the manifest. I was like yes because I missed

1069
00:48:54,120 --> 00:48:55,600
Speaker 4: the flight. She's like, they weren't supposed to send I'm like,

1070
00:48:55,640 --> 00:48:57,680
Speaker 4: I know. She said, we can put it on the

1071
00:48:57,680 --> 00:48:59,719
Speaker 4: next flight to Newark and you can pick it up

1072
00:48:59,719 --> 00:49:02,319
Speaker 4: for Nork Airport. So the silver lining is is that?

1073
00:49:02,400 --> 00:49:05,480
Speaker 4: Like so if like the like I'm literally taping with

1074
00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:07,640
Speaker 4: like a borrowed mic from a friend of mine because

1075
00:49:07,640 --> 00:49:09,560
Speaker 4: I'm in DC and I don't have my headphones.

1076
00:49:09,560 --> 00:49:13,360
Speaker 2: I don't have did you make Colchra con girl now?

1077
00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:15,960
Speaker 2: Because I didn't have any cloths? Like that's the thing, like,

1078
00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:17,480
Speaker 2: you know, I wasn't you know.

1079
00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:19,680
Speaker 4: And it was such a huge event and they were

1080
00:49:19,719 --> 00:49:21,759
Speaker 4: so nice to say it's so combinating, but you know,

1081
00:49:21,880 --> 00:49:23,360
Speaker 4: there was this lesson because I felt like it was

1082
00:49:23,400 --> 00:49:23,960
Speaker 4: the end of the world.

1083
00:49:23,960 --> 00:49:25,120
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie because I've.

1084
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:27,200
Speaker 4: Never The only other time that I missed the speaking

1085
00:49:27,200 --> 00:49:30,000
Speaker 4: engagement is when Durrell passed away, because he always said

1086
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:32,160
Speaker 4: he wasn't feeling well. I was supposed to be on

1087
00:49:32,200 --> 00:49:35,680
Speaker 4: the stage for Chase, and I was like, you know,

1088
00:49:35,719 --> 00:49:38,000
Speaker 4: but Jerrell was the type to just be like, oh,

1089
00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:39,719
Speaker 4: I stuped my to I'm going to a doctor, but

1090
00:49:39,760 --> 00:49:42,120
Speaker 4: something was like, no, go to the hospital. And I'm

1091
00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:43,520
Speaker 4: so glad that I did, because that was the last

1092
00:49:43,520 --> 00:49:46,400
Speaker 4: time I saw him like alive and speaking and you know,

1093
00:49:46,520 --> 00:49:50,080
Speaker 4: relatively happy despite his head pain. And so I'm so

1094
00:49:50,120 --> 00:49:52,560
Speaker 4: glad that I did. And you know, but that's the

1095
00:49:52,600 --> 00:49:55,759
Speaker 4: only time I've never missed a speaking engagement, so I

1096
00:49:55,760 --> 00:49:59,600
Speaker 4: I couldn't. I don't know, like it's like I was

1097
00:49:59,640 --> 00:50:02,120
Speaker 4: really do almost anything, and I'm almost there's this part

1098
00:50:02,120 --> 00:50:05,800
Speaker 4: of it was like Tiffany, it's okay, like you're not missing

1099
00:50:05,800 --> 00:50:07,759
Speaker 4: it because you're like, I don't feel like it. But

1100
00:50:07,800 --> 00:50:10,080
Speaker 4: I really had a hard time letting go of the

1101
00:50:10,080 --> 00:50:13,719
Speaker 4: fact that like this thing beyond my control, you know,

1102
00:50:13,880 --> 00:50:15,640
Speaker 4: was not a letting allowing me to move forward. I

1103
00:50:15,680 --> 00:50:18,960
Speaker 4: just I felt so bad as if like I purposefully

1104
00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:21,000
Speaker 4: maybe I shouldn't have went on the team trip, like

1105
00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:23,040
Speaker 4: what are we saying? You know what I mean, like, yeah,

1106
00:50:23,120 --> 00:50:25,680
Speaker 4: you know, And I just felt really really bad. And

1107
00:50:26,040 --> 00:50:28,480
Speaker 4: but the lesson for me was that like the worst

1108
00:50:28,520 --> 00:50:30,200
Speaker 4: case scenario of that situation, cause that's what I was

1109
00:50:30,239 --> 00:50:31,760
Speaker 4: worried about this happening.

1110
00:50:31,960 --> 00:50:34,759
Speaker 2: It happened, and look at you. You're okay, you know

1111
00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:35,239
Speaker 2: what I mean?

1112
00:50:35,320 --> 00:50:37,560
Speaker 4: Like that was like so you know, it was like

1113
00:50:37,600 --> 00:50:45,400
Speaker 4: you missed it, you missed Culture Con. Okay, Okay, like okay.

1114
00:50:44,080 --> 00:50:44,879
Speaker 2: Like you know what I mean.

1115
00:50:44,920 --> 00:50:46,360
Speaker 4: So I was like that was the part that it

1116
00:50:46,400 --> 00:50:47,839
Speaker 4: was like, I mean, I'm not gonna lie. There's still

1117
00:50:48,280 --> 00:50:52,000
Speaker 4: like it's underlying like anxiety and anxiousness about it.

1118
00:50:52,040 --> 00:50:54,759
Speaker 2: But I'm like, Tiffany, you're okay. I mean you miss

1119
00:50:54,800 --> 00:50:55,439
Speaker 2: Culture Con.

1120
00:50:55,920 --> 00:50:58,360
Speaker 4: You didn't you know, you didn't miss your wedding, you

1121
00:50:58,400 --> 00:50:59,800
Speaker 4: didn't miss the birth of your baby, you know what

1122
00:50:59,800 --> 00:51:03,160
Speaker 4: I mean? Like what you missed a conference because you're

1123
00:51:03,200 --> 00:51:04,759
Speaker 4: not at multiple airlines? You know.

1124
00:51:04,800 --> 00:51:07,080
Speaker 2: It was raggedy, but you know, and you're okay.

1125
00:51:07,480 --> 00:51:09,000
Speaker 4: So it was like, I think it's like a lesson

1126
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:11,719
Speaker 4: that I needed that I'm still processing, but like, yeah,

1127
00:51:11,760 --> 00:51:14,319
Speaker 4: I just but honestly, so I called my admin, Rose,

1128
00:51:14,360 --> 00:51:15,200
Speaker 4: and I said, Rose.

1129
00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:17,440
Speaker 2: What do we like what can we do to avoid this?

1130
00:51:17,520 --> 00:51:19,520
Speaker 4: She's like, you know, what if it's imperative that you

1131
00:51:19,560 --> 00:51:23,160
Speaker 4: must get somewhere, then we don't fly United because.

1132
00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:25,080
Speaker 2: This is the third time, because it's crazy.

1133
00:51:25,120 --> 00:51:28,960
Speaker 4: It'd be one thing if I was like, oh, United's

1134
00:51:28,960 --> 00:51:32,000
Speaker 4: not flying and nobody else is flying. Every other airline

1135
00:51:32,040 --> 00:51:33,920
Speaker 4: is getting people to destinations, and I'm paying out of

1136
00:51:33,960 --> 00:51:37,080
Speaker 4: pocket to literally arrive at the same destination that you're not.

1137
00:51:37,239 --> 00:51:39,920
Speaker 4: For whatever reason, your raggedy airline is not doing. Yeah,

1138
00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:41,960
Speaker 4: And so like now I know, if I have to

1139
00:51:42,080 --> 00:51:44,799
Speaker 4: be somewhere, I cannot fly United because it's just not

1140
00:51:44,880 --> 00:51:46,719
Speaker 4: worth it, which is so stupid, because what is the

1141
00:51:46,719 --> 00:51:48,480
Speaker 4: point I'm back and a lady, what's the point of

1142
00:51:48,480 --> 00:51:51,359
Speaker 4: being one k if I don't get any sort of

1143
00:51:51,400 --> 00:51:54,080
Speaker 4: like help rebooking. And I said, I'm still fighting all

1144
00:51:54,120 --> 00:51:57,200
Speaker 4: for the last three and you know, like missings, like

1145
00:51:57,239 --> 00:51:58,640
Speaker 4: you know, I mean, you won't even give me my

1146
00:51:58,640 --> 00:52:00,239
Speaker 4: money back from the mistakes.

1147
00:52:00,080 --> 00:52:00,680
Speaker 2: You guys are making.

1148
00:52:00,719 --> 00:52:03,800
Speaker 4: So it's just yeah, So I don't know, like honestly,

1149
00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:06,160
Speaker 4: I might consider like moving over to Delta, but it's

1150
00:52:06,160 --> 00:52:08,439
Speaker 4: just the issue with Delta is that like their hub

1151
00:52:08,520 --> 00:52:11,719
Speaker 4: is not Newark, and so you know, but I'm gonna

1152
00:52:11,719 --> 00:52:13,880
Speaker 4: look because I'm like I have to, like I travel

1153
00:52:13,880 --> 00:52:16,680
Speaker 4: a lot for business, and for pleasure, and so getting

1154
00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:19,120
Speaker 4: to a destination and a timy manner is critical.

1155
00:52:19,280 --> 00:52:21,040
Speaker 3: What is it that they don't have enough crew?

1156
00:52:21,200 --> 00:52:21,360
Speaker 4: Is it?

1157
00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:23,600
Speaker 3: Because I feel like that's often it's like a crew

1158
00:52:23,680 --> 00:52:25,080
Speaker 3: shortage or something that is.

1159
00:52:25,320 --> 00:52:27,040
Speaker 4: I don't know, you know, they're never truthful. Sometimes they're like,

1160
00:52:27,080 --> 00:52:29,080
Speaker 4: it's weather. I'm like, if it's weather, hack, come so

1161
00:52:29,160 --> 00:52:30,160
Speaker 4: no other planes.

1162
00:52:29,840 --> 00:52:31,919
Speaker 2: Are because they want to say that, because if they.

1163
00:52:31,800 --> 00:52:33,920
Speaker 4: Say it's weather, then you quote unquote you know, and

1164
00:52:33,960 --> 00:52:37,040
Speaker 4: I'm like that of God, Yeah, no, it wasn't like

1165
00:52:37,080 --> 00:52:38,799
Speaker 4: you know, And like I said, it's one thing.

1166
00:52:38,840 --> 00:52:39,160
Speaker 2: I get it.

1167
00:52:39,239 --> 00:52:42,000
Speaker 4: Things happened. They're giving people time to adjust. You can't

1168
00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:44,320
Speaker 4: tell me ten minutes before the flight never left Newark

1169
00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:46,120
Speaker 4: because it was supposed to have left Newark. Then two

1170
00:52:46,160 --> 00:52:47,640
Speaker 4: hours ago. You could have told me two hours ago

1171
00:52:47,680 --> 00:52:50,480
Speaker 4: and I could have adjusted. That's the thing, you know.

1172
00:52:50,600 --> 00:52:52,440
Speaker 4: So yeah, but I'm gonna do a whole rant and

1173
00:52:52,440 --> 00:52:54,440
Speaker 4: I'm gonna go on social media and I'm gonna drag

1174
00:52:54,480 --> 00:52:56,400
Speaker 4: on for filth because you know, they don't listen to me.

1175
00:52:56,640 --> 00:52:59,280
Speaker 4: They don't listen when you like hello, like customer support

1176
00:52:59,320 --> 00:53:00,880
Speaker 4: or whatever. I'm still make it for my money. I'm like, well,

1177
00:53:00,880 --> 00:53:03,000
Speaker 4: then y'all need to be dragged publicly and so this is,

1178
00:53:03,160 --> 00:53:05,360
Speaker 4: this is dragging number one United.

1179
00:53:05,080 --> 00:53:07,399
Speaker 3: Counter your days and this is and you're not one

1180
00:53:07,440 --> 00:53:09,919
Speaker 3: to rant and be like you know what I mean.

1181
00:53:10,200 --> 00:53:12,640
Speaker 3: So when you said airline, I was almost like, oh,

1182
00:53:12,760 --> 00:53:15,520
Speaker 3: something really bad must have happened because you're not exactly

1183
00:53:15,520 --> 00:53:18,040
Speaker 3: one to like let little stars go. I mean to

1184
00:53:18,120 --> 00:53:21,640
Speaker 3: let it like become this big. But that sounds so

1185
00:53:22,440 --> 00:53:25,840
Speaker 3: busted and so stressful, and I'm sorry you went through that.

1186
00:53:26,040 --> 00:53:29,920
Speaker 3: And yeah, the the mention about like the coping strategy

1187
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:33,160
Speaker 3: and like the minds that the mind work to get

1188
00:53:33,160 --> 00:53:37,600
Speaker 3: through a moment like that, That is maturity. That is girl.

1189
00:53:37,640 --> 00:53:39,319
Speaker 4: I took everything. I mean, that's to like I'm telling you.

1190
00:53:39,360 --> 00:53:40,960
Speaker 4: Like one of my friends I called him. I called him,

1191
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:44,319
Speaker 4: he was like just relax. I almost murdered him through

1192
00:53:44,320 --> 00:53:46,120
Speaker 4: the phone and he realized. He was like, I feel

1193
00:53:46,120 --> 00:53:47,480
Speaker 4: like that's the worst thing I could have said. I'm like,

1194
00:53:49,560 --> 00:53:52,279
Speaker 4: I'm weeping at the airline right now, and I know

1195
00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:52,759
Speaker 4: that like the.

1196
00:53:52,800 --> 00:53:59,440
Speaker 3: Dating pool, is it about to get drowned in the

1197
00:53:59,480 --> 00:54:04,360
Speaker 3: dating pool? Say relaxed? Oh my god.

1198
00:54:06,760 --> 00:54:10,439
Speaker 2: It was like my dad, I was like, don't tell

1199
00:54:10,480 --> 00:54:11,000
Speaker 2: me to.

1200
00:54:12,640 --> 00:54:15,439
Speaker 3: You're like, oh, but see, you needed a punching bag.

1201
00:54:15,480 --> 00:54:17,600
Speaker 3: So you're like, well, thank you for volunteering.

1202
00:54:20,800 --> 00:54:23,399
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, but you know, like it all worked out.

1203
00:54:23,400 --> 00:54:25,560
Speaker 4: I'm here, I went to DC the next day. I'm

1204
00:54:25,600 --> 00:54:29,040
Speaker 4: here and like, you know, making it work. So but yeah,

1205
00:54:29,080 --> 00:54:31,040
Speaker 4: I mean, and I mean now I see, like, Okay,

1206
00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:34,040
Speaker 4: it was fine, you know, and things typically are for

1207
00:54:34,080 --> 00:54:36,080
Speaker 4: the most part, but you know, in the moment sometimes

1208
00:54:36,080 --> 00:54:37,120
Speaker 4: it's just hard to process.

1209
00:54:37,160 --> 00:54:41,040
Speaker 3: So yeah, yeah, sorry that sounds hell stressful. But I'm

1210
00:54:41,040 --> 00:54:42,719
Speaker 3: glad that you're you went through it. I mean, I'm

1211
00:54:42,719 --> 00:54:44,000
Speaker 3: glad that it's over now.

1212
00:54:44,440 --> 00:54:45,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's over now.

1213
00:54:45,400 --> 00:54:49,760
Speaker 3: So and you know, guys, that is cute. I'm just saying, yeah.

1214
00:54:50,840 --> 00:54:54,520
Speaker 2: Yes, Oh, hopefully you guys will listen on Friday to

1215
00:54:54,640 --> 00:54:56,640
Speaker 2: our b a q A. If you have questions, we

1216
00:54:56,680 --> 00:55:00,000
Speaker 2: have answers, and we'll see you in a few days.

1217
00:55:00,600 --> 00:55:01,479
Speaker 3: We'll see you soon.

1218
00:55:02,280 --> 00:55:03,879
Speaker 4: But now if you're fighting United, because we'll never see

1219
00:55:03,880 --> 00:55:05,200
Speaker 4: you because you'll never get on hold and I'll just

1220
00:55:05,239 --> 00:55:05,439
Speaker 4: jok