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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is a John your og

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime podcast host, and we got some great stories

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Speaker 1: coming up. Before that, we have a quick two minute

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Speaker 1: break from the sponsors that keep the show a lot.

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Speaker 2: My boyfriend's family claimed I ruined him and now they're

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Speaker 2: against me.

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Speaker 3: Well what can you do?

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Speaker 2: My boyfriend twenty two male and I twenty two female,

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Speaker 2: have been together for over three years. We live together

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Speaker 2: and have a really strong, loving relationship. He is my

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Speaker 2: best friend and genuinely one of the kindest, most thoughtful

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Speaker 2: people I've ever met, but his family has.

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Speaker 4: Always been intense.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from https error and if

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Speaker 2: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

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Speaker 2: rslage Okay Storytime subreddit. I'm Carly, I'm Angie, and.

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Speaker 3: We're here to give good advice goofully, but we don't

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Speaker 3: have all the answers.

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Speaker 2: We only know what we would do, So let's know

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Speaker 2: what you would do in the comments and op says.

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Speaker 2: Over time, I've realized they're controlling, very religious, Catholic and

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Speaker 2: guilt driven. They expect, ever want to live and believe

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Speaker 2: exactly how they do, and they react really badly when

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Speaker 2: someone doesn't. At first, it was small stuff comments about

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Speaker 2: us living together. That's not right. You should hurry up

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Speaker 2: and get married.

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Speaker 3: You need to be right with God.

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Speaker 2: And constantly guilting him if he didn't come to Sunday lunch.

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Speaker 2: They act like they're open and loving, but if you

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Speaker 2: disagree with them, you're treated like a problem. My boyfriend

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Speaker 2: is also working under his dad to take over the

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Speaker 2: family business, but there's been a lot of issues with

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Speaker 2: that over the past few years because his dad has

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Speaker 2: become unreliable and recently told him he would never own

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Speaker 2: the business despite saying he would ever since we've gotten together.

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Speaker 2: I was a huge reason that my boyfriend even began

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Speaker 2: wanting to take it over in.

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Speaker 3: The first place.

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Speaker 2: I have always tried to be close with them, but

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Speaker 2: have always felt underlying dislike since the start, especially by

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Speaker 2: his sister. On our first day of knowing each other,

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Speaker 2: her first words in front of me were to my

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Speaker 2: boyfriend and saying that for a second she thought he

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Speaker 2: had brought their grandma over.

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Speaker 5: Oh wait a second, what are they calling ope a grandma?

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: The first words in front of Opee were directed at

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Speaker 2: Opie's boyfriend, going, I really thought you brought grandma over

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Speaker 2: for a second, oh my gosh. She also made snyde

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Speaker 2: comments about me based on what she assumed were my

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Speaker 2: political views. Additionally, she has always unincluded me when it

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Speaker 2: comes to her twenty female and my boyfriend's brother's girlfriend

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Speaker 2: twenty three female. She has been around for double the

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Speaker 2: time I have, and when I started noticing being blatantly

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Speaker 2: left out, usually talking about how much we all loved

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Speaker 2: thrifting and uptown cheapskate, and then them making plans in

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Speaker 2: front of me to go and not inviting me despite

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Speaker 2: me starting that conversation, it was really hard to not

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Speaker 2: start comparing myself. Another layer to this is that my

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Speaker 2: boyfriend has always struggled with setting boundaries with his parents

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Speaker 2: for a while, and this was something he admitted to

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Speaker 2: me later and I didn't know it was happening at

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Speaker 2: the time. Whenever he would set a boundary, he would

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Speaker 2: say it was me that was upset, not the both

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Speaker 2: of us, even if it was just him who was

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Speaker 2: upset about something. Girl, he set you up to fail.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's setting you up to fail. He's literally, that's

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Speaker 3: such a bad boyfriend. Move, What the heck.

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Speaker 2: He also has a tendency to have lunch with his

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Speaker 2: parents and then come back a completely different person because

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Speaker 2: they spend the whole lunch trying to convince him of

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Speaker 2: something or to have a certain opinion. He has since

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Speaker 2: started therapy throughout this and has gotten a lot better,

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Speaker 2: but it's still just another cause of this mess. After

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Speaker 2: a lot of pressure and guilt from them, my boyfriend

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Speaker 2: finally decided to have a calm, honest conversation with his

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Speaker 2: parents about the boundaries and how they've been making him feel.

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Speaker 2: I went with him because some of the issues involved

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Speaker 2: me too, like being excluded from communication and being blamed

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Speaker 2: for decisions we made together. The main reason I there

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Speaker 2: was because he asked me to be there for moral support,

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Speaker 2: but wanted me to speak minimally.

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

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Speaker 5: I want you to be here so you can just

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Speaker 5: support me, but wietly.

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Speaker 2: Even though your concern yeah, what weird. The conversation started okay,

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Speaker 2: but quickly turned awful. His dad became defensive and basically

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Speaker 2: said he didn't have to respect our opinions if we

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Speaker 2: didn't share his beliefs. He openly compared me to his

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Speaker 2: brother's girlfriend, and even if my boyfriend was the one

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Speaker 2: expressing himself, both his parents would respond and get mad

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Speaker 2: at me when I suggested there'd be a more efficient

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Speaker 2: way of communication about family events.

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Speaker 3: It's a lot to explain, but.

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Speaker 2: Just trust His dad said the world didn't revolve around me,

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Speaker 2: and I needed to get over it because he wasn't

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Speaker 2: going to call me to tell me updates about things,

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Speaker 2: or send things into the family group chat or talk

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Speaker 2: about them at lunch.

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Speaker 3: He just got it over it.

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Speaker 5: I'm not gonna talk to you at all or communicate

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Speaker 5: like whatsoever.

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Speaker 3: Weird to just deal with it.

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Speaker 2: A couple of weeks later, he called me directly after

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Speaker 2: my boyfriend said he wouldn't go back over to Sunday

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Speaker 2: lunch until his dad apologized to me for getting specifically

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Speaker 2: heated with me, and that also went terribly. He yelled

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Speaker 2: at me, accused me of holding his son back, called

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Speaker 2: me names a snowflake, and told me to grow up.

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Speaker 2: That was the breaking point. My boyfriend decided to take

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Speaker 2: space from them for a while. I met with his

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Speaker 2: mom one on one afterward to clear the air, and

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Speaker 2: she acted like she understood. She said she wanted to

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Speaker 2: make things better and even asked me how to best

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Speaker 2: resolve things. We had a very long, seemingly productive conversation

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Speaker 2: about how we both missed each other and wanted things

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Speaker 2: to go back to normal, and why my boyfriend and

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Speaker 2: I have both been her and how she has been her.

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Speaker 2: She asked me how to get through to her son,

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Speaker 2: and I explained to her how he was feeling and

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Speaker 2: how to get him to be receptive to her attempts

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Speaker 2: to reach out genuinely just ignore doldging his feelings and

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Speaker 2: making it clear that they wanted to resolve things, and

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Speaker 2: she agreed with me. She said she would and then

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Speaker 2: never did. Then, when my boyfriend called her asking why,

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Speaker 2: she claimed we never spoke of anything like that. Weeks

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Speaker 2: went by and things only got worse. His dad started

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Speaker 2: with holding money he owed my boyfriend for work, and

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Speaker 2: when my boyfriend asked about it, his dad got defensive

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Speaker 2: again and said he didn't remember agreeing to pay him.

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Speaker 2: He eventually paid him what was owed until that point,

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Speaker 2: and then demoted his pay from now onward. Since my

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Speaker 2: boyfriend told his dad he was looking for a new

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Speaker 2: job when summer starts, every conversation turned into gaslighting. Then

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Speaker 2: his sister texted him out of nowhere, basically telling him

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Speaker 2: to get over himself, that he and I were being

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Speaker 2: dramatic and that he needed to grow up. That's when

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Speaker 2: we realized his parents had been spreading their version of.

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Speaker 3: The story around to all the siblings.

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Speaker 2: His dad even talked to my boyfriend's brother, who then

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Speaker 2: told one of my boyfriend's friends about it and got

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Speaker 2: him involved. So my boyfriend decided to send a calm,

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Speaker 2: factual group message to his siblings, explaining everything the religious pressure,

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Speaker 2: the disrespect, his dad yelling at me, and why he

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Speaker 2: needed space. He was polite, but honest. Their reaction was brutal.

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Speaker 2: They said he needed to get his crap together, that

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Speaker 2: I had changed him, and that I was basically molding

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Speaker 2: him into someone else. His sister said, I was insecure,

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Speaker 2: that I've been jealous of the other brother's girlfriend from

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Speaker 2: the start, that my boyfriend used to be fun and

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Speaker 2: care free, and now she doesn't even recognize him. She

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Speaker 2: then proceeded to compare me to said brother's girlfriend, saying

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Speaker 2: that she brings him closer to the family, and I

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Speaker 2: take my boyfriend away from them. She said he wasn't

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Speaker 2: himself anymore and he wasn't taking over the business, as

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Speaker 2: if I was manipulating him not to when I was

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Speaker 2: the one who encouraged him to in the first place.

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Speaker 2: They said the only solution was for him to start

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Speaker 2: going back to Sunday lunch without me for a couple

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Speaker 2: of weeks to feel it out, that I could come

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Speaker 2: later when I was ready. I can't even describe how

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Speaker 2: much that hurt. They've twisted the story to make me

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Speaker 2: the villain, and even though my boyfriend defended me and

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Speaker 2: said it wasn't true, he also said that eventually he

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Speaker 2: wants to go back to those lunches. He said, maybe

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Speaker 2: over time they'll come around to liking me again, But

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Speaker 2: I feel like I can never go back there, not

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Speaker 2: after being screamed at, lied about, and blamed for everything.

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Speaker 3: Excid. Yeah, it's it's complicated because, like I get how

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Speaker 3: hop he is feeling.

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Speaker 5: Ever said like, yeah, these people were terrible to be

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Speaker 5: I don't want to be around them, and like.

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Speaker 2: Still excluding her when that was her biggest thing of

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Speaker 2: like I've really left out right.

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Speaker 3: Like that's all she wanted.

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Speaker 5: But like I also understand the boyfriend's idea of like, well,

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Speaker 5: I mean hopefully over time this can be fixed, and

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Speaker 5: like it's hard because like I wouldn't be mad at

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Speaker 5: the boyfriend for that at all, Like, I think that's

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Speaker 5: very understandable for him to want too, but it's hard

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Speaker 5: because it's neither of them have control over that, right.

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Speaker 2: I think i'd be mad if if it was like

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Speaker 2: he had tried and he hadn't talked to them about things. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but it seems like they're just not getting through to.

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Speaker 3: Him, and yeah, because he did tell them.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's one of those things where it's like you

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Speaker 2: can't make him cut them off.

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Speaker 3: So this is the solution.

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Speaker 2: Like it is just he's going to maintain contact and

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Speaker 2: you're just kind of not unless you're not wanting to

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Speaker 2: stay in that relationship.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I got a little bit left.

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Speaker 2: Now I'm stuck in this unbearable place. I love him

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Speaker 2: so much and he's not the one hurting me, his

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Speaker 2: family is.

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Speaker 3: But I don't know how.

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Speaker 2: I can build a life with someone whose entire family

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Speaker 2: sees me as manipulative and controlling. And I can't imagine

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Speaker 2: pretending to be bubbly and friendly at Sunday lunch with

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Speaker 2: people who hate me. I don't want to give him

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Speaker 2: an ultimatum, but I feel like I can't handle this anymore.

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Speaker 2: I'm exhausted. I cry constantly, and I feel like I'm

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Speaker 2: losing my mind. I'm terrified that they are right about

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Speaker 2: me and that I've.

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Speaker 3: Been unknowingly this way.

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Speaker 2: What do you even do when you adore some but

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Speaker 2: their family has decided you're the villain and their story.

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Speaker 3: And we have some comments.

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Speaker 2: Comment to one, your man is an absolute coward, and

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Speaker 2: he has no intention of ever putting you first, even

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Speaker 2: now he wants their approval. If he can't live without them,

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Speaker 2: then he can't live with you.

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Speaker 3: Find a real man.

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Speaker 2: Someone replies, Your partner is in a tough spot. I

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Speaker 2: hope he continues on his own path and stays away

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Speaker 2: from their religious pressureing and bullying. But he's telling you

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Speaker 2: he wants to go back to the frequent lunches with

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Speaker 2: his bullies. He is the one who put all the

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Speaker 2: blame on you at first and danger your relationship with

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Speaker 2: his family. I did totally forget that he was the

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Speaker 2: one that was like lying and saying, oh, he wasn't

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Speaker 2: okay with things.

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Speaker 3: I forgot about that too. I forgot about that. I

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Speaker 3: fear that's maybe where issue begins.

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Speaker 2: I think it really does. Yeah, so like some torn

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Speaker 2: because it did seem like he tried a little bit. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I feel like he could still continue to try and

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Speaker 2: show you that he's stepping up or I'm still on

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Speaker 2: the front though that like, Ultimately, if he goes back

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Speaker 2: to that relationship with his parents, even if they are bullying,

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Speaker 2: that is his choice.

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Speaker 3: It is his family.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and over time maybe he will realize what they've

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Speaker 2: done to you and that you are someone that he

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Speaker 2: really loves, and then he will distance himself again.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but I don't know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, tough, he was weak and didn't care to look

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Speaker 2: out for you. His family sounds like self righteous, religious

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Speaker 2: a holes. Is that who you'd want for your kid's grandparents?

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Speaker 2: He needs to go no contact with them and continue

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Speaker 2: therapy to heal from those relationships. If you won't, you

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Speaker 2: need to make a choice of what you allow in

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Speaker 2: your life.

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Speaker 3: And that is the end of that story.

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Speaker 5: My friend's girlfriend keeps touching my husband, so I confronted her.

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Speaker 4: Stay away from my husband.

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Speaker 3: Some background.

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Speaker 5: Myself, thirty two female, and my husband thirty three male,

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Speaker 5: have been together since twenty seventeen, married since twenty twenty two.

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Speaker 5: Him and his best friend thirty male will call him Kevin,

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Speaker 5: have been close since twenty sixteen.

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Speaker 3: He was the best man at our wedding.

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Speaker 5: By the way, this comes from deleted and if you

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Speaker 5: want to submit your own stories, go to the r

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Speaker 5: slash Okay Storytime.

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Speaker 3: Supredit and I'm Angie, I'm Carly.

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Speaker 5: We're here to give good advice Goofily, but we don't

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Speaker 5: have all the answers.

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Speaker 3: We just know what we would do in this situation.

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Speaker 3: Let us know what you would do down below.

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Speaker 5: So he says, we've always gotten along well, but don't

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Speaker 5: have our own friendship. I don't see a reason to

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Speaker 5: speak with Kevin outside of when we all spend time together.

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Speaker 5: One of our other friends, thirty female, has been friends

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Speaker 5: with all of us since the beginning too. She introduced

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Speaker 5: me to my husband. Actually, they're good friends to this day.

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Speaker 5: Kevin has a baby with his girlfriend, thirty four female.

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Speaker 5: Together we make up a five person friend group. We

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Speaker 5: have game nights and go out to do fun stuff,

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Speaker 5: beach days, get together and such. Kevin's current girlfriend is

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Speaker 5: kind of an outlier since the four of us have

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Speaker 5: been friends for so long and she is more.

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Speaker 3: New to the group.

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Speaker 5: I've never had an issue with her until recently start

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Speaker 5: things off. My husband has never given me a reason

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Speaker 5: to not trust him. This isn't about that, It's about

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Speaker 5: not trusting her or feeling like she's disrespected boundaries. It

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Speaker 5: started small, like she would be naturally feeding her baby

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Speaker 5: in front of us, not an issue at all, but

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Speaker 5: would repeatedly bring attention to the fact that her front

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Speaker 5: airbag was out that rubbed me the wrong way. She

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Speaker 5: kept saying, I'm so sorry, my middy is out, and

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Speaker 5: I'd catch myself noticing, like, if you are sorry, why

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Speaker 5: do you continue calling attention to it rather than fixing

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Speaker 5: it if you think it's something that you need to

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Speaker 5: apologize for. Another time, she was wearing a dress and

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Speaker 5: was sitting on the floor near my husband. I don't

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Speaker 5: remember what we were all talking about, but she brought

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Speaker 5: her leg up, pointed her toes towards my husband and

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Speaker 5: laughed more than once.

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Speaker 3: That was weird.

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Speaker 5: I didn't say anything, but I remember feeling like it's

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Speaker 5: not appropriate.

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Speaker 3: I'm always mindful when I wear dresses.

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Speaker 5: I definitely wouldn't lift up one of my legs while

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Speaker 5: sitting on the floor and point it towards a man

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Speaker 5: that isn't my significant other. She's made comments to my

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Speaker 5: husband like I'm going to call you once a week

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Speaker 5: to talk about Kevin, since you're his best friend.

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Speaker 6: That is weird.

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Speaker 3: I hate that, that's very weird.

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Speaker 5: That time I did speak up and said, no, you're

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Speaker 5: not get a therapist, and we all laughed at do it. Though, Yeah,

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Speaker 5: I'm guessing that was like in a context of like

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Speaker 5: saying something about, yeah, Kevin being annoying or something like that,

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Speaker 5: that's so weird. Then she kept doing stuff like saying

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Speaker 5: to my husband, maybe we could be work got buddies

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Speaker 5: when he's expressed that he's wanting to get back into

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Speaker 5: the gym too. Then she backtracked and said, not like

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Speaker 5: in person, just like text each other so that we

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Speaker 5: could be accountable.

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Speaker 3: He didn't say anything, neither did I. They're not friends.

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Speaker 5: Neither of us have a relationship with her outside of

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Speaker 5: the five of us all spending time together. Her and

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Speaker 5: I don't text her talk. She's never made an effort

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Speaker 5: to befriend me outside of the group, so it seemed

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Speaker 5: weird to me that she was seemingly wanting to initiate

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Speaker 5: contact with or have a friendship with my husband outside

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Speaker 5: of the friend group. Side note, I let this stuff

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Speaker 5: build up because I couldn't let myself think that this

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Speaker 5: was happening again with one of Kevin's girlfriends years ago.

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Speaker 5: The woman he was with, not his current girlfriend, also

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Speaker 5: seemed to seek my husband's attention when we were all

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Speaker 5: together and disrespected boundary.

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Speaker 3: Just say it, Just say it, how hot to your husband? Yeah, honestly,

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Speaker 3: how hot is it? Tell us? Tell us how is

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Speaker 3: brag a little?

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Speaker 5: I let things build up and finally talk to my

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Speaker 5: husband about it, who validated how I was feeling and

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Speaker 5: so that he had noticed a few instances where it

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Speaker 5: got uncomfortable because of her action. We didn't really hang

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Speaker 5: with them much afterwards, and she and Kevin broke up

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Speaker 5: not long after.

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Speaker 3: She ended up making amends to me years later for

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Speaker 3: her behavior.

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Speaker 5: I didn't ask her to do that. We'd never talked

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Speaker 5: to them about the situation. She felt the need to

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Speaker 5: do that on her own. Kevin still doesn't know about

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Speaker 5: any of it. I feel like that situation makes me

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Speaker 5: hyper vigilant to this sort of thing. Anyway, I didn't

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Speaker 5: say anything for a while because what are the odds

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Speaker 5: that this would be a thing again. Kevin doesn't treat

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Speaker 5: his girlfriends well at all, while my husband is extremely affectionate, doting,

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Speaker 5: and respectful. Maybe that has something to do with it.

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Speaker 5: I talked to my husband about it finally, and.

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Speaker 3: He was supportive.

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Speaker 5: He said he hasn't noticed anything, but that that doesn't

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Speaker 5: mean my feelings are invalid. He said that women are

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Speaker 5: more perceptive than men can see and pick up on

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Speaker 5: things differently. He said he supports me and is aware

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Speaker 5: of how I'm feeling now, and that he won't hesitate

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Speaker 5: to say something or support me saying something if she

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Speaker 5: does anything that crosses the line. Shortly after that convo

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Speaker 5: was when she made the workout buddy comment. We both

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Speaker 5: agreed afterwards that it was a weird thing to say.

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Speaker 5: I kept trying to let it go, but we all

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Speaker 5: hung out again recently, and I couldn't enjoy myself. I

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Speaker 5: was so angry and on guard about her past behavior

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Speaker 5: and if she would try anything again. Within a few

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Speaker 5: minutes of us all being together, Kevin mentioned my husband's

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Speaker 5: hands were cold. We were golfing, and Kevin gave him

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Speaker 5: his gloves. Kevin's girlfriend then decided that it was okay

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Speaker 5: to touch my husband's forearm repeatedly literally poked it ten

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Speaker 5: plus times while smiling and saying, oh, yeah.

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Speaker 3: It is cold, so muscular too, Yeah, I guess yeah right,

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Speaker 3: I'm just kidding.

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Speaker 2: I'm trying to make jokes because this story is severely frustrated.

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Speaker 5: I think that listen, good advice, goofy, that's what we're

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Speaker 5: here for. Yeah, No, that's definitely. It's so weird because

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Speaker 5: it's it's hard with things like this because it's like

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Speaker 5: they're so small, so sometimes bringing it up in the

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Speaker 5: moment exactly, it's like.

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Speaker 3: They add up, so it's like, okay, girl, like we

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Speaker 3: know what's going on.

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Speaker 2: It's scary too, because then I feel like most of

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Speaker 2: the time when you hit that breaking point of yeah,

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Speaker 2: I'm just doing like something, it's like always this tiny

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Speaker 2: little thing.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's just added up and that's where you

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Speaker 3: lose it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and then everyone looks at you like.

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Speaker 3: Those so small you overreacted, and it's like but.

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Speaker 5: You don't under no, it's like it's all of this

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Speaker 5: adding up. Like that's just so hard with things like this.

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Speaker 2: I had someone look into my boyfriend at the time's

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Speaker 2: eyes and say that all she had to do to

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Speaker 2: feel better was gaze into his eyes for a little while.

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Speaker 3: That's insane. That's insane. You do not say that to friends.

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Speaker 5: You say that to lovers that's crazy to while she

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Speaker 5: was doing this, and my husband immediately reached out and

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Speaker 5: grabbed my hand, which told me he understood that the

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Speaker 5: excessive touching wasn't necessarily appropriate A plus A plus, I

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Speaker 5: didn't say anything. I didn't trust myself to say something

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Speaker 5: in a respectful way in that moment. I just smiled

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Speaker 5: at him and brushed it off.

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Speaker 3: Later, she was.

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Speaker 5: Taking pictures of him holding her baby, which rubbed me

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Speaker 5: the wrong way, because again, has she ever done that

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Speaker 5: with me.

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Speaker 6: No.

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Speaker 5: By the end of the night, I spoke with my

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Speaker 5: husband again. I was livid at having felt disrespected again

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Speaker 5: by her. He told me that he didn't realize how

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Speaker 5: angry I actually was, and that my anger might be

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Speaker 5: compounded by the fact that I've let all of this

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Speaker 5: build up and have a talk to her. He said

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Speaker 5: that he would support that conversation and what comes after

408
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Speaker 5: that It's okay for me to remind her in that

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Speaker 5: conversation that she and my husband are not friends, and

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Speaker 5: that he would be understanding if I said I didn't

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Speaker 5: want her around with him without me there. I'm not

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Speaker 5: proud of my behavior that night, and in our relationship,

413
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Speaker 5: we've never set limits on one another's lives or actions.

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Speaker 3: We haven't had to. I think I was just extremely

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Speaker 3: triggered by the situation.

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Speaker 5: It was the worst feeling I haven't felt it in

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Speaker 5: a really long time.

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Speaker 2: I will interject to say that I don't think that

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Speaker 2: that's like a controlling boundary to just be like, don't

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Speaker 2: hang out with her one on one, right, Yeah, I

421
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Speaker 2: feel like that's you being like, hey, I'm really uncomfortable

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Speaker 2: with her in a group setting already, this seems kind

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Speaker 2: of obvious he wouldn't hang out with her alone.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Also, like he brought it up.

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Speaker 5: It says, yeah, he would be understanding if I said

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Speaker 5: I didn't want her around him without me there.

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Speaker 2: That's okay, so not one on one, but ohp can't

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Speaker 2: go to the group hangs. She still doesn't want him

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Speaker 2: to go. Yeah, yeah, okay, but that's bringing it up.

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Speaker 3: That was Yeah, he brought that up. That was his idea.

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Speaker 3: So nice, I know.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I think it's all about like how you bring it

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Speaker 3: up though, too.

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Speaker 5: If she's just straight out said like, you're not allowed

436
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Speaker 5: to do this, right, like obviously, that's.

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Speaker 2: It's like, hey, here's how I've been feeling, and he's like, oh,

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Speaker 2: my god, how do you feel about me saying like

439
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Speaker 2: I won't hang out.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, out you in this specific situation. It's not like

441
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Speaker 5: oh you just it's just like some random thing. It's like, well, no,

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Speaker 5: this happens when she's around, and if, like me, talking

443
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:29,560
Speaker 5: to her doesn't help, then like that's kind of all

444
00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:31,359
Speaker 5: that we have to do is to make her stop.

445
00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:34,840
Speaker 2: Is how much worse? Yeah he's not around?

446
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:37,960
Speaker 3: Yeah? Right? Fast forward. A few days later, I called

447
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:38,840
Speaker 3: Kevin's girlfriends.

448
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:41,679
Speaker 5: I figured I would open that line of communication, be

449
00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:44,000
Speaker 5: a grown up, use my voice and say how I feel.

450
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,960
Speaker 3: I was completely respectful, gave specific.

451
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:49,240
Speaker 5: Examples not all of the ones mentioned above, just too,

452
00:19:49,359 --> 00:19:51,159
Speaker 5: and told her that I wanted to understand where she

453
00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:53,320
Speaker 5: was coming from. I let her know that I love them,

454
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:55,159
Speaker 5: want to be a part of their lives, want us

455
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:57,199
Speaker 5: all to continue hanging out as a friend group, and

456
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,880
Speaker 5: want to get on the same page and set some boundaries.

457
00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:01,159
Speaker 3: So that won't continue building.

458
00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:04,560
Speaker 5: She seemed receptive, apologized and said that she doesn't realize

459
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,840
Speaker 5: how the things she says comes off sometimes. She said

460
00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:09,000
Speaker 5: she doesn't really have friends, let alone how to a

461
00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:12,080
Speaker 5: male friends that she doesn't get out much because she's

462
00:20:12,119 --> 00:20:14,600
Speaker 5: always with her and Kevin's baby. I heard her out

463
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:17,560
Speaker 5: and told her that I never assume her intentions are bad.

464
00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:19,480
Speaker 3: It seemed like the convo ended well.

465
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:21,760
Speaker 5: We said, we're happy to have the line of communication

466
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:25,280
Speaker 5: open between us, more so now. Then yesterday happened. My

467
00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:27,880
Speaker 5: husband and I went to a friends and Kevin was there,

468
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,639
Speaker 5: not with this girlfriend or their baby. My husband and

469
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:33,080
Speaker 5: Kevin hadn't talked since Kevin's girlfriend and I had a

470
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:36,560
Speaker 5: conversation and told my husband specifics about our convo, but

471
00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:38,600
Speaker 5: let him know that I went well. Kevin pulled my

472
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:41,199
Speaker 5: husband aside to make sure that they're good since his

473
00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:43,760
Speaker 5: girlfriend and I talked. I wasn't a part of the conversation,

474
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:48,119
Speaker 5: but overheard certain part, like Kevin saying that screams insecurity

475
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:50,239
Speaker 5: to me, I trust my girlfriend, I trust you.

476
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:52,800
Speaker 3: I was going to invite you golfing, but didn't know

477
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:55,480
Speaker 3: if we were okay. Stuff like that. My heart literally

478
00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:56,800
Speaker 3: sunk into my chest.

479
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,960
Speaker 5: The conversation between Kevin's girlfriend and I was supposed to square,

480
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:03,000
Speaker 5: not make it worse, and my husband reassured me that

481
00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:05,240
Speaker 5: it wouldn't affect he and Kevin's friendships.

482
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:07,040
Speaker 3: That Kevin wouldn't care.

483
00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:09,680
Speaker 5: I specifically asked that before I spoke with her, letting

484
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:11,959
Speaker 5: my husband know that I never want to interfere with

485
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:15,600
Speaker 5: him in Kevin's relationship. Anyway, I felt like I did

486
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:17,880
Speaker 5: something wrong. I talked to my husband on the way home,

487
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:20,280
Speaker 5: and he said that I didn't and that he and

488
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:23,320
Speaker 5: Kevin are fine, but that Kevin's girlfriend feels like she

489
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:26,760
Speaker 5: needs to walk on eggshells now or be careful about

490
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:28,680
Speaker 5: things she says when we're all hanging out.

491
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:33,960
Speaker 2: I hate these kind of girls with a freaking burning passion.

492
00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:37,159
Speaker 5: Yeah, because it's it's like, well, I mean, yeah, you

493
00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:39,280
Speaker 5: kind of do have to be careful about what you're saying,

494
00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:41,680
Speaker 5: like a parent, obviously, like your things are making people

495
00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:45,080
Speaker 5: uncomfortable and you didn't know that. So yes, you do

496
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:46,919
Speaker 5: have to be careful. But that doesn't mean you need

497
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:48,240
Speaker 5: to like go to your husband.

498
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:48,600
Speaker 6: Right.

499
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:52,640
Speaker 2: We're not like censoring ourselves. We're just not touching Opie's

500
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:55,600
Speaker 2: husband or like yeah, flashing him.

501
00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:59,800
Speaker 3: Our up our dresses. Yeah right, it's like pretty.

502
00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:02,800
Speaker 2: Obvious things are the only things that need to change.

503
00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:06,520
Speaker 5: Yeah, barely, right, because it's like, okay, well, so in

504
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:10,080
Speaker 5: your eyes, girl, like if you really did see this

505
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:12,200
Speaker 5: in a way of like, you know, I actually don't

506
00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:14,000
Speaker 5: need to do that much, like just need to tweak.

507
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:16,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like what would that look like to you?

508
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:20,320
Speaker 5: Because like you're it's gonna be uncomfortable since you seemingly

509
00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:22,320
Speaker 5: didn't realize this was a problem before.

510
00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:23,960
Speaker 3: There's a little bit more to the story.

511
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:28,360
Speaker 5: I'm like, all she has to do is literally think

512
00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:31,440
Speaker 5: before she talks to It'll be fine. I've known Kevin

513
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:33,719
Speaker 5: for much longer than his girlfriend has known my husband,

514
00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:36,080
Speaker 5: and I would never do the things that she's done

515
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:38,240
Speaker 5: or say the things that she said. I felt like

516
00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:40,400
Speaker 5: if I didn't say something, it would continue to get

517
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:43,480
Speaker 5: worse and she'd keep crossing boundaries. I didn't want that

518
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:45,760
Speaker 5: to happen my husband so that I can't control how

519
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:47,439
Speaker 5: she reacts to our conversation.

520
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:48,600
Speaker 3: I just hate that.

521
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:50,840
Speaker 5: I feel like Kevin thinks that I don't trust my

522
00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:53,840
Speaker 5: husband or that I'm insecure. Am I the ahole for

523
00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:56,600
Speaker 5: feeling this way? For having that phone conversation with her?

524
00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:58,000
Speaker 5: And what's our answer?

525
00:22:58,240 --> 00:22:58,520
Speaker 6: Oh?

526
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:00,560
Speaker 4: Whoa, that's the.

527
00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:01,320
Speaker 3: End of that story.

528
00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:05,600
Speaker 2: I told my girlfriend no, and now I'm a bare

529
00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:06,800
Speaker 2: minimum boyfriend.

530
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:08,600
Speaker 3: If you wanted to, he would.

531
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:11,640
Speaker 2: My girlfriend and I have been dating for a few

532
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:15,359
Speaker 2: months and we've gotten into a few fights already. Apart

533
00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:18,080
Speaker 2: from these fights, it has been a great relationship where

534
00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:20,439
Speaker 2: neither of us can go a day without talking to

535
00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:23,520
Speaker 2: each other. We're always planning to spend time together, and

536
00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:25,760
Speaker 2: I've found that all of my free time is.

537
00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:26,360
Speaker 3: Spent with her.

538
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:29,960
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from persimmon necessary fourteen and

539
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:31,760
Speaker 2: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

540
00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:35,080
Speaker 2: the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. I'm Carly, I'm Angie,

541
00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:37,679
Speaker 2: and we're here to give good advice goofully, but we

542
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:39,320
Speaker 2: don't have all the answers.

543
00:23:39,359 --> 00:23:41,159
Speaker 3: We only know what we would do. I just know

544
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:41,680
Speaker 3: what you would do.

545
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:45,119
Speaker 2: In the comment, as Op says, I'm giving a tremendous

546
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:47,639
Speaker 2: amount of effort to make this work because I really

547
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:50,160
Speaker 2: love her, but I'm afraid she might be taking things

548
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:53,800
Speaker 2: for granted. With that context, we've had a few bad

549
00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:57,320
Speaker 2: fights that are really making me reconsider if we're truly compatible.

550
00:23:57,440 --> 00:23:59,960
Speaker 2: From my perspective, I feel like I do a lot

551
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:02,239
Speaker 2: to show her that I care and am making a

552
00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:05,439
Speaker 2: great effort to be a good boyfriend. For example, I

553
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:07,920
Speaker 2: took her on a week long road trip to Miami

554
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:10,840
Speaker 2: for her birthday. It was the first time I've ever

555
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:13,480
Speaker 2: booked a suite because I wanted it to be special

556
00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:16,080
Speaker 2: since it was the first time we were celebrating a

557
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:19,160
Speaker 2: birthday together. I made a couple of reservations. On her

558
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:22,360
Speaker 2: actual birthday, Anne only did what she wanted to do

559
00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:24,600
Speaker 2: because this trip was all about her. On the day

560
00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:26,840
Speaker 2: we were supposed to leave, we got into a mini

561
00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:29,359
Speaker 2: fight after she asked if I could help her pack

562
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:32,880
Speaker 2: since I'd finished packing already and was relaxing. I told

563
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:35,080
Speaker 2: her I was really tired, but ultimately gave it to

564
00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:37,560
Speaker 2: help her. We had a small talk afterwards, and I

565
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:40,240
Speaker 2: expressed that she simply requests too many things for me

566
00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:43,159
Speaker 2: sometimes and that I have a limit. We settled it

567
00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:46,200
Speaker 2: with a mission to work on our communication. When I'm

568
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:49,199
Speaker 2: feeling overwhelmed by her requests, I'll let her know and

569
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:50,160
Speaker 2: she'll tone them down.

570
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:51,160
Speaker 3: No biggie right.

571
00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:53,719
Speaker 2: The next fight was a couple weeks later when we

572
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,080
Speaker 2: were both hanging out at my place after a long

573
00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:58,640
Speaker 2: day and she asked me to go downstairs to get

574
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:00,639
Speaker 2: her a glass of water a SMA, all requests that

575
00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:04,000
Speaker 2: I should have no problem with. However, I fell extremely

576
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:07,000
Speaker 2: tired this time, and although I usually get her water

577
00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:09,479
Speaker 2: whenever she asks, I asked if she could get it

578
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:12,399
Speaker 2: herself since she knows where everything is and I have

579
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:15,560
Speaker 2: no roommates. Okay, we both ended up just falling asleep

580
00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:17,760
Speaker 2: for a couple hours. I woke up because I had

581
00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:20,399
Speaker 2: to use the bathroom, and during this time she asked

582
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:23,040
Speaker 2: again for the glass of water. Since I was already up,

583
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:24,800
Speaker 2: I went to get it and brought it up to her.

584
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:27,160
Speaker 2: After I handed it to her, I dropped back down

585
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:29,639
Speaker 2: on the bed, exhausted and wanting to go back to

586
00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:32,439
Speaker 2: sleep right away. She finished drinking and touched my arm

587
00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:35,160
Speaker 2: with the glass indicated that she wanted me to put

588
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:37,200
Speaker 2: it down on the ground for her. I was so

589
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:39,520
Speaker 2: tired and didn't want to, so I ignored it. This

590
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:42,480
Speaker 2: made her mad, so she touched my arm again with it,

591
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:46,160
Speaker 2: adding a grunt. I got annoyed and blurting out, I'm good, bro.

592
00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:49,280
Speaker 2: This made her livid and we started fighting until I

593
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:51,919
Speaker 2: apologize for what I said and hoped that was the

594
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:53,720
Speaker 2: end of it. I also want to note that we

595
00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:56,320
Speaker 2: were on good terms in between these fights. Everything goes

596
00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:59,040
Speaker 2: smoothly until I refused to do one of her requests.

597
00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:01,480
Speaker 3: I'm gonna pause so quickly go ahead.

598
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:05,840
Speaker 2: Oh the way that you're refusing the request, yeah, not

599
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:07,320
Speaker 2: that you're refusing them.

600
00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:09,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree.

601
00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:13,280
Speaker 5: If I did that to Riley and it was just

602
00:26:13,359 --> 00:26:16,480
Speaker 5: like hello, hello, like put it on the ground, yeah,

603
00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:19,400
Speaker 5: or like just butter, Yeah, he would just he would

604
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:21,000
Speaker 5: just like look at me and like joke at me,

605
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:22,080
Speaker 5: like you could.

606
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:23,679
Speaker 2: Do it, and like come on, you could put it

607
00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:24,119
Speaker 2: on the ground.

608
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:26,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, like the way that we already joke about things.

609
00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:28,560
Speaker 2: Right, but turning around and being like come on bro

610
00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:30,720
Speaker 2: or not, I'm good, like.

611
00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:32,959
Speaker 3: Or just straight up ignoring it.

612
00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:36,760
Speaker 2: Like I feel like like he didn't fall asleep quickly

613
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:38,879
Speaker 2: just put the water on the ground, yeah, like come on,

614
00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:41,600
Speaker 2: or I'm gonna crawl over you really dramatically to put

615
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:42,520
Speaker 2: the water yeah exactly.

616
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:45,120
Speaker 5: Like if he's just closer to the ground, that's so

617
00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:46,680
Speaker 5: valid for him to just do that.

618
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:49,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, to put it on the ground. Yea yeah, yeah, yeah.

619
00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:51,360
Speaker 2: I don't want them to thank you.

620
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:52,359
Speaker 3: I didn't even think about that.

621
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:54,760
Speaker 5: Like it's so if he's closer to the ground and

622
00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:56,960
Speaker 5: can reach the floor a lot easier, it's so valid

623
00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:59,480
Speaker 5: for him to just put the water down.

624
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:00,000
Speaker 3: So easy.

625
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:01,880
Speaker 2: I'm picturing the bed in like a corner, so she's

626
00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:04,000
Speaker 2: not yeah right, but I could be wrong. The next

627
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:06,480
Speaker 2: fight was when we got home after a long day.

628
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:08,960
Speaker 2: She was so sleepy she went straight to my bed

629
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:12,240
Speaker 2: without brushing or putting on her retainer, which she needs

630
00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:14,720
Speaker 2: to wear nightly because she got in visiline. I tried

631
00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:16,480
Speaker 2: to convince her to brush her teeth before we got

632
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:18,560
Speaker 2: into bed, but she's very hard to get up when

633
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:20,919
Speaker 2: she's already down, so I went to brush without her

634
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:22,840
Speaker 2: and got ready for bed when I was done. I

635
00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:25,000
Speaker 2: didn't want to just let her sleep without putting her

636
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:27,480
Speaker 2: retainer on, so I tried to get her up. I

637
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:29,680
Speaker 2: felt I was annoying her, but it worked. She got

638
00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:31,720
Speaker 2: up and went to brush as I laid down because

639
00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:34,119
Speaker 2: I was tired. She normally likes it when I stand

640
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:36,880
Speaker 2: behind her when she brushes so she can feel my presence,

641
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:40,160
Speaker 2: and she requested it again this time. I usually say yes,

642
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:42,120
Speaker 2: but this time I was really tired, so I told

643
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:44,360
Speaker 2: her to just please brush on her own and join

644
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:46,880
Speaker 2: me in bed after she's done. The sooner she finishes,

645
00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:49,680
Speaker 2: the sooner we can be physically together again. The bathroom

646
00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:52,080
Speaker 2: is attached to my bedroom, so I was literally like

647
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:54,719
Speaker 2: ten feet away from her. She got really upset and

648
00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:57,320
Speaker 2: refused to brush until I got up and stood next

649
00:27:57,320 --> 00:28:00,159
Speaker 2: to her. I told her she was being ridiculous, and

650
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:02,720
Speaker 2: this made her even more mad. She sat there on

651
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:05,200
Speaker 2: my toilet for what seemed like the next half hour

652
00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:07,800
Speaker 2: while I stayed in bed. She eventually got it done

653
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:09,600
Speaker 2: and joined me in bed, and we both just let

654
00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:11,240
Speaker 2: it go in the morning. We were good for a

655
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:13,359
Speaker 2: little bit until the other day, when I was working

656
00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:15,600
Speaker 2: in DC and decided to get a drink with an

657
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:18,360
Speaker 2: old friend after work. During this time, she asked if

658
00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:20,399
Speaker 2: she and her friend could crash at my place for

659
00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:22,280
Speaker 2: a little bit. I let them use my place to

660
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:24,320
Speaker 2: hang out while I was out and was excited to

661
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:26,040
Speaker 2: see her. When I got back, we got to hang

662
00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 2: out with her friend too, and when she had to go,

663
00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:30,560
Speaker 2: she offered to take my girlfriend home so that I

664
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:32,760
Speaker 2: didn't have to drive and come back. As they lived

665
00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:35,040
Speaker 2: near each other, everyone agreed it was a good idea.

666
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:37,480
Speaker 2: I took advantage of this by getting ready for bed

667
00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:40,080
Speaker 2: early because I had work again the next day. I

668
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:42,480
Speaker 2: was already in bed when she got home, and she

669
00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:44,640
Speaker 2: wanted to call to say good night. I answered her

670
00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:47,200
Speaker 2: call right away with enthusiasm and was ready to have

671
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:49,560
Speaker 2: a nice good night call and go to bed, that

672
00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:52,400
Speaker 2: is until she asked if we could FaceTime instead. I

673
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:54,800
Speaker 2: nicely told her that I didn't want to because I

674
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:57,000
Speaker 2: would have to get up from bed turn on my lights,

675
00:28:57,040 --> 00:28:59,120
Speaker 2: which would disturb my sleep, and that I was really

676
00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:01,720
Speaker 2: tired once again, and dude, didn't need to do all that.

677
00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:04,800
Speaker 3: Put the brightness up on your phone, yeah, have the

678
00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:05,600
Speaker 3: phone be your.

679
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:07,719
Speaker 2: Like, could we just say good night over the phone.

680
00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:10,040
Speaker 2: She got really mad that I was refusing to get

681
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:11,760
Speaker 2: on FaceTime and angrily.

682
00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:13,600
Speaker 4: Said, well, I don't want to just talk.

683
00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:16,120
Speaker 2: To nothing, so I guessed goodnight, to which I said,

684
00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:18,720
Speaker 2: all right, good night, and she hung up. The next day,

685
00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:21,480
Speaker 2: I texted her first, hoping she wasn't still mad, but

686
00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:24,320
Speaker 2: she made it obvious with her one word replies. She

687
00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:26,760
Speaker 2: had plans to see her friend that night, so she

688
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:28,840
Speaker 2: said I'll be busy so I'll talk to you later,

689
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:31,520
Speaker 2: which was fine. I gave her that space. You guys

690
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:33,840
Speaker 2: also never finish your fight, have a conversation.

691
00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:37,320
Speaker 5: Yeah, I honestly like have so many thoughts about how

692
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:39,560
Speaker 5: these people should not be together, so many thoughts.

693
00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:42,000
Speaker 2: The following day, we had plans for the whole day.

694
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:44,440
Speaker 2: It was supposed to be another date night I'd planned

695
00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:47,280
Speaker 2: for us, and I'd gotten us tickets for a pottery

696
00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:49,560
Speaker 2: painting thing. The plan was for me to pick her

697
00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:51,720
Speaker 2: up from her friend's place, which is like a forty

698
00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:54,080
Speaker 2: minute drive, So I texted her first thing in the

699
00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:56,000
Speaker 2: morning to let me know when she wanted me to

700
00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:58,480
Speaker 2: come so that I could prepare. She didn't reply for

701
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:00,600
Speaker 2: a couple of hours, and then she fired said that

702
00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:03,080
Speaker 2: she was just going to metro home and stay home

703
00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:05,720
Speaker 2: for the day. This made me pretty upset because I'd

704
00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:08,360
Speaker 2: been waiting around all morning since I promised her I

705
00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:10,800
Speaker 2: would pick her up. I let my emotions take over

706
00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:12,800
Speaker 2: me and ask if she was just going to forget

707
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:15,560
Speaker 2: about all our plans today. She got really angry with

708
00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:17,920
Speaker 2: me and said that she never planned on skipping out

709
00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:19,880
Speaker 2: on the date, but if I was going to have

710
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:23,080
Speaker 2: this nasty attitude, we might as well. We didn't fix

711
00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:25,920
Speaker 2: things in time before the event, so the tickets went

712
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:28,360
Speaker 2: to waste. So now it's the next day and we're

713
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:30,600
Speaker 2: still going back and forth about how I feel like

714
00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:33,160
Speaker 2: I'm doing so much for her, but it's never enough,

715
00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:35,880
Speaker 2: and the moment I say no to one of her requests,

716
00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:38,440
Speaker 2: she gets angry and it blows up into a big thing.

717
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:41,200
Speaker 2: She says, she appreciates everything I do, but if I

718
00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:43,800
Speaker 2: can't do these simple ask then I'm not even doing

719
00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:46,640
Speaker 2: the bare minimum as a boyfriend. I just can't seem

720
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:48,680
Speaker 2: to see her side or agree with her because I

721
00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:51,720
Speaker 2: feel like I'm doing so much. I dedicate all my

722
00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:54,440
Speaker 2: free time to spend with her. I pay for mostly everything,

723
00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:57,960
Speaker 2: and I even drive her to DC multiple times just

724
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,160
Speaker 2: so she can hang out with her friends safely, so

725
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:02,239
Speaker 2: she doesn't have to Metro while I wait for her

726
00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:04,480
Speaker 2: to be done and take her home. And because I

727
00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:07,200
Speaker 2: said no a few times to requests that I think

728
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:10,160
Speaker 2: are a little bit silly and unnecessary, she's accusing me

729
00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:12,920
Speaker 2: of not doing the bare minimum. I really want this

730
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:15,400
Speaker 2: to work. And if it's me, why do I feel

731
00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:17,880
Speaker 2: burnt out by all her requests? Am I just a

732
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:21,280
Speaker 2: bad boyfriend? Thanks in advance for any advice. We have

733
00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:24,160
Speaker 2: an update, let me hear it in. Tell me your thoughts.

734
00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:26,800
Speaker 5: Okay, I think these guys are just straight up not

735
00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:29,719
Speaker 5: compatible at all. Like I see both of their sides

736
00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:32,920
Speaker 5: the same yeah, Like I understand if the girl is

737
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:35,200
Speaker 5: like okay, yeah, like sometimes, like you said, there are

738
00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:37,720
Speaker 5: just some small things where it's like, come on, like

739
00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:40,680
Speaker 5: this stuff is fun and just like yeah, like small

740
00:31:40,680 --> 00:31:42,560
Speaker 5: little sweet things of what we could do when we

741
00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:43,360
Speaker 5: hang out with each other.

742
00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:44,640
Speaker 3: It's just relationship stuff.

743
00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:47,400
Speaker 5: So I can understand wanting your partners to do that,

744
00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:50,600
Speaker 5: but I also understand that demanding it every time and

745
00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:54,200
Speaker 5: getting mad over not doing every little thing is exhausting.

746
00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:57,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, because it does sound like he's still planning some

747
00:31:57,680 --> 00:31:59,480
Speaker 2: really nice outings and is doing a.

748
00:31:59,400 --> 00:31:59,960
Speaker 3: Lot for her.

749
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:02,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, I certainly I would take offense if I did

750
00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:05,280
Speaker 2: all that, and there you're doing the bare minimum totally

751
00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:09,440
Speaker 2: in the same thing, though, dude Facetimer for thirty seconds.

752
00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:13,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, Like, I think that the way he's going about

753
00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:15,840
Speaker 5: things like that are definitely also not great, Like yeah,

754
00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:18,280
Speaker 5: you know, saying like, oh, like you don't want me

755
00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:21,160
Speaker 5: to go stand by you, like, are your peace ridiculous? Like,

756
00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:23,400
Speaker 5: oh my god, Okay, that does not need to be

757
00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:25,000
Speaker 5: our response to stuff like that.

758
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:25,400
Speaker 4: Update.

759
00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:27,960
Speaker 2: We had a long conversation where we both just listen

760
00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:31,280
Speaker 2: to each other's perspectives without being defensive. She's going to

761
00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:35,200
Speaker 2: start taking accountability for her overreactions, and be more mindful

762
00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:37,880
Speaker 2: of being too needy. She does not think that I'm

763
00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:40,560
Speaker 2: a boyfriend who only does the bare minimum, and she

764
00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:43,760
Speaker 2: apologized for saying that, but she does agree that maybe

765
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:46,040
Speaker 2: she cares more about the little thing. So for me,

766
00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:48,959
Speaker 2: I think all less in the gifts, planning trips, and

767
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:50,680
Speaker 2: taking her out to eat so much so that I

768
00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:53,600
Speaker 2: don't feel burnt out. I'll focus more on being more

769
00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:57,640
Speaker 2: present with her without the flashiness, doing smaller acts of service,

770
00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:00,720
Speaker 2: and taking more time for myself instead of catering to

771
00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:03,680
Speaker 2: her world all the time. I'm giving her the benefit

772
00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:05,760
Speaker 2: of the doubt and chalking all of this up to

773
00:33:05,920 --> 00:33:10,280
Speaker 2: immaturity rather than emotional manipulation. Don't agree with that sentence, buddy.

774
00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:14,320
Speaker 2: I don't think that she's being immature or emotionally manipulating you. Yeah,

775
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:16,880
Speaker 2: that was interesting, but if it doesn't get better, then

776
00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:17,960
Speaker 2: I know what I need to do.

777
00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:20,880
Speaker 3: But that's the end of the story. Hey y'all, it's

778
00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:21,800
Speaker 3: John og Host here.

779
00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:23,280
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the story, but here's a

780
00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:25,160
Speaker 1: quick three minute break from as for more sponsors.

781
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:28,840
Speaker 6: My wife evicted me from our house because of someone

782
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:30,280
Speaker 6: else's Reddit posts.

783
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:32,959
Speaker 4: That must have been a pretty influential Reddit post.

784
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:36,480
Speaker 6: Today, when I came home from work to my pregnant

785
00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:39,800
Speaker 6: wife of eight years, she had packed me a bag

786
00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:43,000
Speaker 6: and told me she found my private Reddit account and

787
00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:46,520
Speaker 6: started to accuse me of cheating on her. She was

788
00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:50,200
Speaker 6: screaming and would not let me talk to her or

789
00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:53,240
Speaker 6: defend myself. By the way, this comes from user throw

790
00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:55,480
Speaker 6: away number one, and if you wanted to submit your

791
00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:57,840
Speaker 6: own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime. Sobre it.

792
00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:01,400
Speaker 6: I'm Dakota, I'm Sophia, and we're going to give you

793
00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:03,080
Speaker 6: a good advice goofully. But we don't have all the answers.

794
00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:04,280
Speaker 6: We only know what we do, so if you do

795
00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:06,800
Speaker 6: something else, that's in the comments. So she said she

796
00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:09,560
Speaker 6: found the story I posted detailing that I've cheated with

797
00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:12,520
Speaker 6: a coworker and now the co worker is pregnant. She

798
00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:14,840
Speaker 6: said she wanted a divorce and that she would not

799
00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:19,000
Speaker 6: let me see my unborn child. I have never cheated

800
00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:22,000
Speaker 6: on her. I have never even thought about it. I

801
00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:24,400
Speaker 6: do not think I have ever given her a reason

802
00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:27,000
Speaker 6: to think I did. I found the post she thought

803
00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:29,960
Speaker 6: was mine, and it has some similar details to our life,

804
00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:33,360
Speaker 6: but it was posted over a year ago. The similar

805
00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:36,240
Speaker 6: details were how we met, our ages, and the fact

806
00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:39,600
Speaker 6: that I have a coworker who is pregnant. Other than that,

807
00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:42,720
Speaker 6: the post said that the OP has an older daughter.

808
00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:45,200
Speaker 6: The coworker in the post has been working with the

809
00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:48,680
Speaker 6: OP for years. The coworker at my company started four

810
00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:52,680
Speaker 6: months ago and was pregnant before she started. My wife

811
00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:56,040
Speaker 6: is currently six months pregnant with our first kid, a girl.

812
00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:58,759
Speaker 6: We have had our ups and downs, but nothing to

813
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:01,919
Speaker 6: cause this. I was in shock that she wouldn't listen

814
00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:04,920
Speaker 6: to me. I kept thinking about how to convince her

815
00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:07,520
Speaker 6: that it was not me when she didn't want to

816
00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:10,000
Speaker 6: talk or hear me out. Well, I mean, honestly, it

817
00:35:10,120 --> 00:35:13,600
Speaker 6: sounds like it's very simple if you just look at

818
00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:16,880
Speaker 6: it logically instead of purely emotionally, which it sounds like

819
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:19,920
Speaker 6: is all she's done. She lined up like a couple

820
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:23,440
Speaker 6: of dots and saw, oh my god, yep, this is

821
00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:26,600
Speaker 6: what happened, and now that's all she's thinking about it.

822
00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:29,759
Speaker 6: But you literally just go see how it says that

823
00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:32,279
Speaker 6: she's been there for years. This the girl you're thinking

824
00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:35,160
Speaker 6: I cheated on you with, started four months ago. By

825
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:37,200
Speaker 6: the way, she was pregnant when she got here.

826
00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:40,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know. I think you just like you

827
00:35:40,719 --> 00:35:47,920
Speaker 4: counteract her like hormones, like crazed thinking, with just saying,

828
00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:50,919
Speaker 4: here are the facts. And every time that keeps happening,

829
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:52,719
Speaker 4: you just go, you're the facts.

830
00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:56,560
Speaker 6: And I'm sure she's not really allowing that. I know.

831
00:35:56,680 --> 00:35:58,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, every you just.

832
00:35:59,480 --> 00:36:02,560
Speaker 4: You print them out. You print out a timeline.

833
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:06,880
Speaker 6: Print out in circle. Here you are reading a paper. Yeah,

834
00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:11,360
Speaker 6: I could not lose my wife or baby. My in

835
00:36:11,480 --> 00:36:14,560
Speaker 6: laws won't listen to me, and my wife would not

836
00:36:14,719 --> 00:36:17,919
Speaker 6: pick up or text back. I felt completely shut out

837
00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:20,720
Speaker 6: and scared about her mental state and the baby's safety.

838
00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:25,320
Speaker 6: And there is an update. My pregnant wife has removed

839
00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:27,759
Speaker 6: me from our home, accusing me of cheating on her

840
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:30,759
Speaker 6: and getting my coworker pregnant after she found my so

841
00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:35,239
Speaker 6: called secret Reddit account, even though there were obvious differences

842
00:36:35,239 --> 00:36:37,600
Speaker 6: in the post as well as the time it was made.

843
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:41,080
Speaker 6: I drove for an hour to my in laws that night.

844
00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:44,799
Speaker 6: My own family is not close. When I showed up,

845
00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:48,200
Speaker 6: they wouldn't let me in until I started crying and

846
00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:51,080
Speaker 6: explained that I was worried for my wife's mental state

847
00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:54,400
Speaker 6: and the child's safety and asked if they would please

848
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:57,239
Speaker 6: hear me out. They finally let me in.

849
00:36:57,480 --> 00:37:00,880
Speaker 4: So they also think that you've cheated. She's probably informed

850
00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:02,640
Speaker 4: them of her thoughts or something.

851
00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:08,360
Speaker 6: Yeah, come on, yues, this is not enough evidence to convict.

852
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:09,680
Speaker 4: Yeah.

853
00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:12,919
Speaker 6: I put everything on the table. They had not heard

854
00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:15,440
Speaker 6: the full story. My wife had just told them I cheated.

855
00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:19,440
Speaker 6: She had then gotten in their faces, blaming everything on them,

856
00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:22,000
Speaker 6: but none of it was true. I showed them the

857
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,440
Speaker 6: post that she suspected was made by me, then pointed

858
00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:28,280
Speaker 6: out the obvious differences. I explained that the timeline didn't

859
00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:31,680
Speaker 6: match and that the details weren't the same. I next

860
00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:34,839
Speaker 6: pulled up footage from one of our outside cameras that

861
00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:38,680
Speaker 6: caught some of the argument. It caught audio only, and

862
00:37:38,719 --> 00:37:41,600
Speaker 6: they could tell I was not the aggressor and that

863
00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:44,560
Speaker 6: she was not acting like her normal self. While in

864
00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:47,520
Speaker 6: the camera app I noticed a car parked across the street.

865
00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:50,640
Speaker 6: I recognized it. It was a car I thought I

866
00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:55,879
Speaker 6: would never see again. That's ominous. Hmmmm, who's car?

867
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:56,680
Speaker 3: Who's there?

868
00:37:57,160 --> 00:38:01,040
Speaker 6: Up until this point I realized I had also messed up.

869
00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:03,839
Speaker 6: My wife is off some of her medications and has

870
00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:06,279
Speaker 6: been switched to different ones for pregnancy.

871
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:10,040
Speaker 4: Well, I always thought I thought it was something like this,

872
00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:12,759
Speaker 4: right like that, I think that was pretty clear that

873
00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:16,759
Speaker 4: it wasn't like just her having a freak out. There

874
00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:19,760
Speaker 4: was clearly something. But now it has even.

875
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:24,080
Speaker 6: More proof that some kind of some kind of imbalance

876
00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:27,520
Speaker 6: going on here. I've spent more time at work lately

877
00:38:27,560 --> 00:38:30,560
Speaker 6: to save more money for our future, which means I've

878
00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:33,840
Speaker 6: been neglecting my wife. I now know why she was

879
00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:36,759
Speaker 6: acting this way. The stress, the medication changes, and my

880
00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:40,840
Speaker 6: absence were all factors. My wife had a friend and

881
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:44,040
Speaker 6: coworker who never approved of our relationship. You will call

882
00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:47,359
Speaker 6: her Satan. She kept trying to get between us by

883
00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:50,160
Speaker 6: causing fire to bring up false red flags about me.

884
00:38:50,520 --> 00:38:52,800
Speaker 6: Now I'm starting to think that was the Satan mobile

885
00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:57,719
Speaker 6: out there. Yeah, it could have been Satan's wheels whispering

886
00:38:57,800 --> 00:38:58,640
Speaker 6: into your wife's.

887
00:38:58,719 --> 00:39:01,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, y'all, it's been has a secret readed account.

888
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:06,480
Speaker 6: She confessed her love for my wife.

889
00:39:06,239 --> 00:39:09,480
Speaker 4: Shocker, I'm not surprised.

890
00:39:09,239 --> 00:39:11,680
Speaker 6: And said she wanted me out of the picture when

891
00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:13,839
Speaker 6: she told my wife this. My wife told me, and

892
00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:17,200
Speaker 6: she decided to cut contact and moved to a different department.

893
00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:19,440
Speaker 6: I told my in laws that we had to go

894
00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:22,440
Speaker 6: to my wife. They contacted her and told her that

895
00:39:22,480 --> 00:39:25,120
Speaker 6: they were coming over, and she accepted it. She was

896
00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:28,920
Speaker 6: crying and still very emotional. My in laws told me

897
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:30,920
Speaker 6: to give them a few minutes to talk to her first.

898
00:39:31,440 --> 00:39:33,920
Speaker 6: When we pulled up is about eight or nine at night,

899
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:37,000
Speaker 6: and I waited outside and tried to calm down from

900
00:39:37,040 --> 00:39:39,520
Speaker 6: my in laws. When they walked in, my wife was

901
00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:44,000
Speaker 6: crying to Satan, who was happy. We fought they knew

902
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:46,200
Speaker 6: about what that woman tried to do in the past,

903
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:48,400
Speaker 6: and told her to give them a few minutes alone.

904
00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:52,239
Speaker 6: She agreed. After some arguing, they had my wife talk

905
00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:55,040
Speaker 6: about her side again and then gave the evidence. From

906
00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:58,160
Speaker 6: my point of view, it turned out that Satan was

907
00:39:58,200 --> 00:40:00,640
Speaker 6: taking advantage of the fact that my wife is pregnant,

908
00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:03,160
Speaker 6: that I'm working more hours, and that my wife is

909
00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:07,120
Speaker 6: on different medications, and that information from our past painted

910
00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:10,160
Speaker 6: me in a bad way. Satan had been showing her

911
00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:14,360
Speaker 6: evidence quote unquote, like somehow having a picture of me

912
00:40:14,440 --> 00:40:17,440
Speaker 6: and my pregnant coworker when we went out to get

913
00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:18,560
Speaker 6: food for the team.

914
00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:23,480
Speaker 4: It's like really zoomed in and they're like photoshopped sitting

915
00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:26,319
Speaker 4: next to each other. But it's like super bad photoshop,

916
00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:30,880
Speaker 4: just two stick figures with faces painted on, and there's

917
00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:36,719
Speaker 4: like a label like she's drawn like your husband is coworkers, and.

918
00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:38,640
Speaker 6: Then a big era that points to her stomach and

919
00:40:38,680 --> 00:40:45,120
Speaker 6: that's pregnant, but it's a misspelled it's misspelled as pregnant pregnant.

920
00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:48,719
Speaker 6: My wife accepted what my in law showed her and

921
00:40:49,040 --> 00:40:51,960
Speaker 6: satan out and blocked her again. We're going to try

922
00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:55,040
Speaker 6: to get a restraining order placed on her. I felt relief,

923
00:40:55,239 --> 00:40:57,520
Speaker 6: but also a lot of sadness that it had gotten

924
00:40:57,640 --> 00:41:01,239
Speaker 6: this far. Things are better, but not back to the

925
00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:04,319
Speaker 6: way they were. I got her a doctor's appointment on

926
00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:08,640
Speaker 6: Tuesday about her medicine and scheduled an emergency therapy session

927
00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:12,440
Speaker 6: with your therapist on Wednesday. For now, I am sleeping

928
00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:14,640
Speaker 6: in the guest room and trying my best not to

929
00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:18,880
Speaker 6: break up our eight year plus marriage. I feel betrayed

930
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:21,160
Speaker 6: that she would take the side of someone who has

931
00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:24,000
Speaker 6: already proven they will do anything to get what they want,

932
00:41:24,560 --> 00:41:27,239
Speaker 6: lie about being no contact, and then accuse me of

933
00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:29,799
Speaker 6: cheatingh and not listen to what I have to say.

934
00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:35,360
Speaker 4: I like, it's totally not fair or right of her. However,

935
00:41:36,400 --> 00:41:41,360
Speaker 4: just remember it's not on the right medications. This isn't

936
00:41:41,480 --> 00:41:45,439
Speaker 4: you know medications well that are clearly you know she's

937
00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:46,680
Speaker 4: having a bad reaction to.

938
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:51,279
Speaker 6: There are there are external variables to this situation.

939
00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:54,799
Speaker 4: Just just remember that before we you know, you know,

940
00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:57,360
Speaker 4: don't It's not that it's not necessarily personal.

941
00:41:57,719 --> 00:42:00,480
Speaker 6: At the same time, I love my wife, I know

942
00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:02,800
Speaker 6: that she was not in her proper state of mind.

943
00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:05,840
Speaker 6: I want to get marriage counseling, but the wait list

944
00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:09,160
Speaker 6: is over two months long. I'll tell my boss on

945
00:42:09,239 --> 00:42:12,600
Speaker 6: Monday about cutting back on hours to help my wife.

946
00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:16,360
Speaker 6: I've saved up time off which should help, and luckily

947
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:20,319
Speaker 6: our company provides three months of paternity leave. Hopefully we

948
00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:23,759
Speaker 6: can get things right and focus on our baby. My

949
00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:26,200
Speaker 6: in laws have also been staying closed just in case

950
00:42:26,239 --> 00:42:28,640
Speaker 6: my wife needs them or if they have to step in.

951
00:42:29,239 --> 00:42:32,440
Speaker 6: Their support has helped bring some stability back into the situation.

952
00:42:33,080 --> 00:42:36,320
Speaker 6: I'm grateful they listened and helped mediate And there's an editor.

953
00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:39,880
Speaker 6: I told my actual pregnant coworker what happened, and she

954
00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:42,560
Speaker 6: and her husband are understanding of the situation. They said

955
00:42:42,600 --> 00:42:44,360
Speaker 6: they would be willing to sit down with us and talk.

956
00:42:44,719 --> 00:42:47,160
Speaker 6: I believe she's due in the coming months, so she

957
00:42:47,239 --> 00:42:49,440
Speaker 6: will not be at work for a while. It was

958
00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:51,799
Speaker 6: a relief to have her and her husband willing to

959
00:42:51,880 --> 00:42:55,360
Speaker 6: help clear the air. And there is a second update.

960
00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:58,719
Speaker 6: But do we have any other thoughts right now?

961
00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:03,400
Speaker 4: I mean, you know, I just want to recognize that

962
00:43:03,600 --> 00:43:06,279
Speaker 4: you're going through a really hard thing. Oh pee, that's

963
00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:09,759
Speaker 4: really really tough. And uh, you know, we can say

964
00:43:09,760 --> 00:43:13,120
Speaker 4: all we want. Remember it's her hormones and the medication

965
00:43:13,239 --> 00:43:15,279
Speaker 4: and stuff, but it's still it's still going through it.

966
00:43:15,880 --> 00:43:16,560
Speaker 4: I'm still sucking.

967
00:43:16,600 --> 00:43:19,919
Speaker 6: What if she actually secretly is also in love with.

968
00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:23,080
Speaker 4: Satan, Well, that would suck. O.

969
00:43:23,160 --> 00:43:25,680
Speaker 6: Day number two, I moved back into the main bedroom.

970
00:43:26,080 --> 00:43:28,279
Speaker 6: You were able to get into marriage counseling and they

971
00:43:28,280 --> 00:43:30,799
Speaker 6: have helped. I was able to express how I was

972
00:43:30,800 --> 00:43:32,840
Speaker 6: feeling and get my issues out in the open to

973
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:36,279
Speaker 6: my wife. My wife since the big blow up, has

974
00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:38,799
Speaker 6: been put on different combinations of meds and we think

975
00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:42,440
Speaker 6: we found a combo that works. So boyay, we don't

976
00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:44,560
Speaker 6: plan on having her beat so she will be able

977
00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:47,960
Speaker 6: to switch back soon after. I also want to address

978
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:51,560
Speaker 6: some comments I had seen. We did not intend to

979
00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:54,640
Speaker 6: get pregnant. There was a month when my wife could

980
00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:57,520
Speaker 6: not get her normal birth control, our doctor wanted her

981
00:43:57,560 --> 00:43:59,719
Speaker 6: to try a different one. When she went off the

982
00:43:59,719 --> 00:44:04,560
Speaker 6: first one, she became very spicy. We did not think

983
00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:07,560
Speaker 6: about protection on several occasions, and a month later we

984
00:44:07,560 --> 00:44:08,600
Speaker 6: found out she was pregnant.

985
00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:11,399
Speaker 3: Well, that'll do it, and that'll do it, sir, that'll

986
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:11,680
Speaker 3: do it.

987
00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:14,160
Speaker 6: There was no slow getting off her meds. It was

988
00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:16,839
Speaker 6: quick and she was thrown on different ones, and hope

989
00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:19,800
Speaker 6: they worked for her. Most did, but others did not.

990
00:44:20,480 --> 00:44:22,400
Speaker 6: It's been a rough adjustment and we're trying to do

991
00:44:22,440 --> 00:44:25,400
Speaker 6: it the right way now with her doctor and therapist

992
00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:30,799
Speaker 6: guiding the process. Satan, Santa, Sarah or Susan, whichever you

993
00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:35,000
Speaker 6: read first, does have a restraining order against her good.

994
00:44:35,640 --> 00:44:38,080
Speaker 6: She also lost her job and had to move in

995
00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:41,400
Speaker 6: with her parents hundreds of miles away. I hope this

996
00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:43,520
Speaker 6: keeps her out of our lives for good and gives

997
00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:44,120
Speaker 6: us some peace.

998
00:44:44,560 --> 00:44:51,480
Speaker 4: If you rearrange the words in Santa, you get Satan coincidence.

999
00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:55,560
Speaker 6: And if you rearrange the words in dollar, you get

1000
00:44:56,200 --> 00:45:02,840
Speaker 6: loadlar a coincidence. Yes, think my wife and baby are healthy.

1001
00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:05,920
Speaker 6: I am starting a new job in two months. My

1002
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:08,400
Speaker 6: boss was able to help me up. It comes with

1003
00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:11,080
Speaker 6: an ice signing bonus, and I can do it remotely

1004
00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:13,759
Speaker 6: until I'm ready to go in person. This should allow

1005
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:15,880
Speaker 6: me to be home more and be present for my

1006
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:19,640
Speaker 6: wife and our daughter. My in laws are amazing people.

1007
00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:23,720
Speaker 6: They've been very helpful. They also know, unlike most in laws,

1008
00:45:24,040 --> 00:45:27,200
Speaker 6: how to respect boundaries. My parents are coming out with

1009
00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:29,800
Speaker 6: my sister closer to the do day to help as well.

1010
00:45:30,120 --> 00:45:33,560
Speaker 6: I'm hopeful that with support, counseling, and better communication, we

1011
00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:37,680
Speaker 6: can rebuild trust and prepare for our babies arrival. And

1012
00:45:37,800 --> 00:45:39,480
Speaker 6: that is the end of that story.

1013
00:45:40,480 --> 00:45:42,200
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We're going to get back to the stories.

1014
00:45:42,200 --> 00:45:44,239
Speaker 1: But here's three minutes of fads from our sponsors.

1015
00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:48,360
Speaker 4: My wife demands a house I co own with my ex,

1016
00:45:48,760 --> 00:45:49,680
Speaker 4: and I refused.

1017
00:45:49,960 --> 00:45:52,000
Speaker 6: That's me and my ex's house.

1018
00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:55,560
Speaker 4: When my ex and I thirty seven male divorced, I

1019
00:45:55,680 --> 00:45:58,200
Speaker 4: moved out and she lived in our house until she

1020
00:45:58,280 --> 00:46:01,520
Speaker 4: found her own place. I bought the house three years

1021
00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:03,880
Speaker 4: before we got married, and her name was added to

1022
00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:06,400
Speaker 4: the deed when we were married. By the way, this

1023
00:46:06,480 --> 00:46:08,640
Speaker 4: comes from stray in week twenty five to seventy five,

1024
00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:10,279
Speaker 4: and if you want to spit your own stories. Go

1025
00:46:10,280 --> 00:46:13,680
Speaker 4: to the r slash Okay storytime suppared it. I'm Sophia,

1026
00:46:14,080 --> 00:46:17,400
Speaker 4: I'm Dakota, I'm Carly, and we're here to give good advice.

1027
00:46:17,440 --> 00:46:20,080
Speaker 3: Goofy, but we don't have all the answers.

1028
00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:21,920
Speaker 4: We only know what we'd do, So let us know

1029
00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:24,520
Speaker 4: what you would do in the comments, and Opie says,

1030
00:46:25,200 --> 00:46:27,760
Speaker 4: at the time of our divorce, I was nine years

1031
00:46:27,800 --> 00:46:31,759
Speaker 4: into the fifteen year mortgage OOF when she found her

1032
00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:34,160
Speaker 4: own place. We decided to keep the house in both

1033
00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:37,000
Speaker 4: of our names and rented out because neither of us

1034
00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:39,960
Speaker 4: wanted to sell it. For the past six years, we

1035
00:46:40,040 --> 00:46:43,120
Speaker 4: have rented out the house and basically broke even. She

1036
00:46:43,239 --> 00:46:45,880
Speaker 4: manages the property more than I do, so she kept

1037
00:46:45,880 --> 00:46:48,799
Speaker 4: the meager profits. Now that the house is paid off,

1038
00:46:48,880 --> 00:46:52,520
Speaker 4: we are actually going to start turning actual profit. We

1039
00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:55,040
Speaker 4: agreed to a sixty to forty split of the profits,

1040
00:46:55,080 --> 00:46:58,120
Speaker 4: with her keeping sixty because she's the one that deals

1041
00:46:58,120 --> 00:47:01,239
Speaker 4: with the tenants. My wife, thirty one female who I

1042
00:47:01,320 --> 00:47:06,920
Speaker 4: married last year, really really wants me to sell this house.

1043
00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:11,640
Speaker 4: At first, she wasn't that insistent, but lately she has

1044
00:47:11,719 --> 00:47:14,360
Speaker 4: become so. She said, there's no reason for me to

1045
00:47:14,440 --> 00:47:17,880
Speaker 4: co own a house with my ex wife. Well, oh,

1046
00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:21,360
Speaker 4: he's given about a paragraph of reasons.

1047
00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:27,400
Speaker 6: It's I think you've got some pretty understandable, yeahological reasons.

1048
00:47:27,120 --> 00:47:31,640
Speaker 4: Seeing as you have a fifteen year mortgage and you're

1049
00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:32,840
Speaker 4: making profit from.

1050
00:47:32,719 --> 00:47:35,799
Speaker 6: It, and is this your now wife? This is now

1051
00:47:35,880 --> 00:47:38,279
Speaker 6: wife is saying that don't want so now wife. I

1052
00:47:38,360 --> 00:47:41,759
Speaker 6: need you to realize that you are a now wife

1053
00:47:41,880 --> 00:47:44,719
Speaker 6: and she was the ex wife, so you don't have

1054
00:47:44,800 --> 00:47:48,359
Speaker 6: to really be like you own a property with your

1055
00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:51,560
Speaker 6: ex wife. It's like, yeah, but like on that's paper,

1056
00:47:51,760 --> 00:47:53,920
Speaker 6: that's just on paper, you're my wife.

1057
00:47:54,120 --> 00:47:56,839
Speaker 4: I don't know, like why she's uncomfortable, But also you

1058
00:47:56,920 --> 00:48:01,719
Speaker 4: have to understand why I'm legally kind of bound to this.

1059
00:48:03,320 --> 00:48:06,520
Speaker 6: Why am I in this position? Yeah, I've told you,

1060
00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:10,040
Speaker 6: And then it's not because I secretly like my ex wife. No.

1061
00:48:10,920 --> 00:48:13,240
Speaker 4: She also says that now that it is paid off,

1062
00:48:13,360 --> 00:48:15,040
Speaker 4: we could do a cash sale and make a lot

1063
00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:19,040
Speaker 4: of money. Neither my ex nor I want to sell,

1064
00:48:19,120 --> 00:48:21,080
Speaker 4: and it's our house, so I don't really see the

1065
00:48:21,120 --> 00:48:24,239
Speaker 4: point of these conversations. Even if I agreed with her,

1066
00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:28,000
Speaker 4: my ex wouldn't agree, and it would be an unnecessary fight.

1067
00:48:28,200 --> 00:48:30,480
Speaker 4: You might have to get a lawyer. I'm exhausted just

1068
00:48:30,480 --> 00:48:33,359
Speaker 4: thinking about it. Last night, my wife asked me if

1069
00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:36,240
Speaker 4: I intended to co own this house with my ex forever.

1070
00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:40,080
Speaker 4: I told her truthfully that we had many times discussed

1071
00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:42,960
Speaker 4: eventually giving it to our son twelve mail, once he

1072
00:48:43,040 --> 00:48:46,719
Speaker 4: reaches the appropriate life stage. Wait, you and your ex

1073
00:48:46,760 --> 00:48:49,680
Speaker 4: share a son.

1074
00:48:49,320 --> 00:48:50,560
Speaker 6: You're crazy.

1075
00:48:50,719 --> 00:48:54,080
Speaker 4: Your new wife is upset that you share the deed

1076
00:48:54,120 --> 00:48:54,680
Speaker 4: to a house.

1077
00:48:54,920 --> 00:48:56,319
Speaker 3: Is she mad about the kid too?

1078
00:48:56,480 --> 00:48:58,320
Speaker 6: You literally share a human being?

1079
00:48:58,920 --> 00:49:00,640
Speaker 4: Like, how dare you her son with?

1080
00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:01,520
Speaker 1: Ridiculous?

1081
00:49:02,239 --> 00:49:04,560
Speaker 4: She was upset by this answer. She asked if I

1082
00:49:04,600 --> 00:49:06,840
Speaker 4: intended to give a house to my step kids or

1083
00:49:06,880 --> 00:49:09,799
Speaker 4: any future kids we might have. I told her this

1084
00:49:09,840 --> 00:49:14,240
Speaker 4: isn't apples and oranges situation. The house isn't fully mine.

1085
00:49:14,560 --> 00:49:17,400
Speaker 4: No penny has ever gone from our shared household into

1086
00:49:17,440 --> 00:49:20,320
Speaker 4: that house. It's more my exes than mine at this point.

1087
00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:22,960
Speaker 4: Really not legally. Legally it's fifty to fifty, but she

1088
00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:26,160
Speaker 4: spends more time on it. Also, this isn't a nice house,

1089
00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:28,560
Speaker 4: not like the one my wife and I bought after

1090
00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:31,279
Speaker 4: our wedding. The house I co own with my ex

1091
00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:32,960
Speaker 4: is a small, two bedroom house.

1092
00:49:33,080 --> 00:49:34,040
Speaker 3: It's not like he's got to.

1093
00:49:34,040 --> 00:49:38,160
Speaker 4: Get a mansion. All the same, she's very upset. She said,

1094
00:49:38,160 --> 00:49:40,400
Speaker 4: she feels like the house is a source of strife

1095
00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:43,520
Speaker 4: in our relationship, and she wants that gone. Your source

1096
00:49:43,560 --> 00:49:45,120
Speaker 4: of strife in your relationship.

1097
00:49:45,200 --> 00:49:46,360
Speaker 6: You're the only one strifing.

1098
00:49:46,680 --> 00:49:49,520
Speaker 4: Stop strifing. I told her I love her, But the

1099
00:49:49,560 --> 00:49:52,520
Speaker 4: answer is no. She's been cold to me all morning

1100
00:49:52,560 --> 00:49:55,600
Speaker 4: as a result. Am I the ahole? And there are

1101
00:49:55,640 --> 00:49:57,200
Speaker 4: some relevant comments and an update?

1102
00:49:57,239 --> 00:49:59,560
Speaker 3: But what do you think of Dakota?

1103
00:50:00,719 --> 00:50:06,439
Speaker 6: I think, yeah, you should build yourself a little doghouse. Yeah,

1104
00:50:06,480 --> 00:50:08,839
Speaker 6: and go sleep in it, op because that's where you're at.

1105
00:50:09,480 --> 00:50:12,320
Speaker 6: You're in the doghouse. One else you're in the doghouse.

1106
00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:13,960
Speaker 6: So if you're gonna if you tell your wife you're

1107
00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:15,879
Speaker 6: gonna put me in the doghouse. That's why I'm most

1108
00:50:15,880 --> 00:50:16,560
Speaker 6: sleep well.

1109
00:50:16,680 --> 00:50:19,760
Speaker 4: And comments common One says it's not about the house.

1110
00:50:20,280 --> 00:50:23,600
Speaker 4: Opie says, yeah, I know. But all the same, is

1111
00:50:23,600 --> 00:50:26,239
Speaker 4: it reasonable to demand I get rid of something valuable

1112
00:50:26,320 --> 00:50:29,480
Speaker 4: as a sort of weird loyalty ritual? Common too, not

1113
00:50:29,640 --> 00:50:32,400
Speaker 4: the a hole. She's coming off as greedy and a

1114
00:50:32,400 --> 00:50:35,160
Speaker 4: bit jealous here, acting like it's weird that you essentially

1115
00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:38,120
Speaker 4: co own a business investment with your ex, whom is

1116
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:41,080
Speaker 4: also the mother of your son. It's not like you're

1117
00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:43,160
Speaker 4: playing house with her. Add to the fact that she

1118
00:50:43,239 --> 00:50:46,480
Speaker 4: seems more focused on getting the money for herself and

1119
00:50:46,520 --> 00:50:48,840
Speaker 4: her kids. How did you get this far into the

1120
00:50:48,840 --> 00:50:51,600
Speaker 4: marriage without your plans for the house coming up? Were

1121
00:50:51,600 --> 00:50:55,160
Speaker 4: you always clear about them? Or and O Pie says

1122
00:50:55,239 --> 00:50:57,640
Speaker 4: it's come up many times, but she has gotten more

1123
00:50:57,640 --> 00:50:59,800
Speaker 4: insistent than she was before.

1124
00:51:00,320 --> 00:51:01,200
Speaker 3: It was her preference.

1125
00:51:01,239 --> 00:51:04,839
Speaker 4: I sell it now, it's almost a demand. Common three

1126
00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:08,440
Speaker 4: says she sounds very firm in her opinion. Unfortunately, she

1127
00:51:08,520 --> 00:51:11,600
Speaker 4: does not have a say. It is your property that

1128
00:51:11,680 --> 00:51:14,440
Speaker 4: will benefit your son and most of all, does not

1129
00:51:14,640 --> 00:51:17,640
Speaker 4: impact her. I would ask your wife why, all of

1130
00:51:17,680 --> 00:51:20,760
Speaker 4: a sudden her set boundary. Furthermore, aware, is she intending

1131
00:51:20,800 --> 00:51:24,120
Speaker 4: to go with your money? Don't cave or give in.

1132
00:51:24,360 --> 00:51:28,719
Speaker 4: She's rude, immature, and manipulative with treatment of you. Op

1133
00:51:28,880 --> 00:51:30,560
Speaker 4: says she thinks we could put the money in our

1134
00:51:30,600 --> 00:51:34,280
Speaker 4: retirement plans and the children's college fund. Common three says,

1135
00:51:34,320 --> 00:51:37,000
Speaker 4: is she not able to put equal amount her into

1136
00:51:37,040 --> 00:51:40,879
Speaker 4: her half of the retirement plan, also equal amount into

1137
00:51:40,880 --> 00:51:44,040
Speaker 4: her existing kids your step kids with her X into

1138
00:51:44,080 --> 00:51:47,279
Speaker 4: their college funds her kids with her ex. Isn't your

1139
00:51:47,400 --> 00:51:51,400
Speaker 4: burden unless you sign papers to legally adopt them. Op

1140
00:51:51,560 --> 00:51:54,239
Speaker 4: says I'm actually in the process of adopting them. It's

1141
00:51:54,360 --> 00:51:56,840
Speaker 4: just difficult because we don't know where her ex lives,

1142
00:51:57,320 --> 00:52:01,560
Speaker 4: so that complicates everything. Interesting common forces Why do you

1143
00:52:01,600 --> 00:52:04,120
Speaker 4: need to pay for your step kid's college fund? Why

1144
00:52:04,200 --> 00:52:06,720
Speaker 4: isn't she and the child's father doing that? That should

1145
00:52:06,760 --> 00:52:10,000
Speaker 4: have no issue with you, Op says, bio dad flew

1146
00:52:10,040 --> 00:52:10,400
Speaker 4: the coop.

1147
00:52:10,840 --> 00:52:15,319
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean so did he? I'm sorry, did did

1148
00:52:15,400 --> 00:52:19,360
Speaker 6: your did you did your ex husband to steal the

1149
00:52:19,440 --> 00:52:23,360
Speaker 6: children and run away? No? No, where are the kids?

1150
00:52:23,400 --> 00:52:24,640
Speaker 6: I think are the kids with you?

1151
00:52:24,960 --> 00:52:27,879
Speaker 4: I think the kids are with them because oh, he's

1152
00:52:27,880 --> 00:52:30,399
Speaker 4: about to adopt them. But the bio dad is kind of.

1153
00:52:30,400 --> 00:52:32,880
Speaker 6: Okay, am, I got really confused for a second. That

1154
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:33,800
Speaker 6: makes more sense.

1155
00:52:34,400 --> 00:52:34,760
Speaker 3: Uh.

1156
00:52:34,800 --> 00:52:37,560
Speaker 4: Common five says not the a whole. I fully understand

1157
00:52:37,560 --> 00:52:40,719
Speaker 4: your current spouse, yet I do not think she grasps

1158
00:52:40,880 --> 00:52:43,720
Speaker 4: the situation fully since she cannot be in your shoes.

1159
00:52:44,200 --> 00:52:46,400
Speaker 4: If you and your ex wife are on good terms

1160
00:52:46,440 --> 00:52:49,759
Speaker 4: relatively speaking, consider selling your share to her if she's

1161
00:52:49,800 --> 00:52:52,560
Speaker 4: open to it, or buy her share to fully owning

1162
00:52:52,680 --> 00:52:55,759
Speaker 4: it again, and please do not add your wife's name

1163
00:52:56,040 --> 00:53:00,440
Speaker 4: to any future properties. Love triumphs all, but money, like

1164
00:53:00,480 --> 00:53:03,880
Speaker 4: a rotten one, can spoil a fresh basket of fruit.

1165
00:53:04,520 --> 00:53:06,680
Speaker 4: Opie says, my wife's name is on our current home,

1166
00:53:06,760 --> 00:53:09,320
Speaker 4: as it should be. Yeah, I disagree with that, Commoner.

1167
00:53:09,880 --> 00:53:13,200
Speaker 4: I think if you don't trust your partner, like your

1168
00:53:13,280 --> 00:53:16,839
Speaker 4: literal wife, to co own like a then I don't

1169
00:53:16,840 --> 00:53:19,200
Speaker 4: know if you should be in that relationship. Regarding my

1170
00:53:19,320 --> 00:53:21,560
Speaker 4: ex buying me out, I don't think that's fair to her,

1171
00:53:21,760 --> 00:53:24,160
Speaker 4: so she should shoulder the financial burden of something for

1172
00:53:24,200 --> 00:53:27,319
Speaker 4: the benefit or share child. Common six says you've been

1173
00:53:27,360 --> 00:53:29,960
Speaker 4: married for a year, who owns your current home when

1174
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:32,960
Speaker 4: you married? You should consult the financial counsel right now

1175
00:53:32,960 --> 00:53:36,000
Speaker 4: to get a reasonable plan because as things stand, you

1176
00:53:36,040 --> 00:53:38,920
Speaker 4: could be headed for a bigger financial mess with your

1177
00:53:38,960 --> 00:53:42,680
Speaker 4: second wife. Opie says, we bought it together right after

1178
00:53:42,719 --> 00:53:46,040
Speaker 4: the wedding. Comment six says did she contribute a significant

1179
00:53:46,040 --> 00:53:49,560
Speaker 4: amount to the down payment? Is she employed now? Opie

1180
00:53:49,600 --> 00:53:52,120
Speaker 4: says yes, A quarter of the down payment.

1181
00:53:51,880 --> 00:53:52,520
Speaker 3: Came from her.

1182
00:53:53,080 --> 00:53:55,520
Speaker 4: We are in the same earning bracket. She makes almost

1183
00:53:55,560 --> 00:53:58,600
Speaker 4: as much as I do. Since she has two kids

1184
00:53:58,600 --> 00:54:01,759
Speaker 4: and an irresponsible She wasn't able to save as much

1185
00:54:01,760 --> 00:54:05,000
Speaker 4: as me before we married, but we both contribute more

1186
00:54:05,160 --> 00:54:09,600
Speaker 4: or less equally to our current shared household. Common seven says,

1187
00:54:09,640 --> 00:54:12,239
Speaker 4: do you have a prenup that excludes the property from

1188
00:54:12,280 --> 00:54:15,800
Speaker 4: being claimed as community property by wife too? Op says,

1189
00:54:15,800 --> 00:54:18,400
Speaker 4: in my state, property owned before a marriage is not

1190
00:54:18,640 --> 00:54:23,320
Speaker 4: considered community property unless the spouse contributes to the property

1191
00:54:23,480 --> 00:54:26,520
Speaker 4: mortgage payments, repairs, et cetera. Since my ex has been

1192
00:54:26,600 --> 00:54:29,080
Speaker 4: managing the property, she's been the one paying the mortgage

1193
00:54:29,120 --> 00:54:32,440
Speaker 4: from the rental proceeds and handling repairs and such, So

1194
00:54:32,600 --> 00:54:35,440
Speaker 4: there's no reality where my wife could claim a stake

1195
00:54:35,640 --> 00:54:38,920
Speaker 4: in this property. Ope on the college funds for all

1196
00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:42,640
Speaker 4: children involved, Opie says, yes, my son has a college fund.

1197
00:54:42,960 --> 00:54:45,440
Speaker 4: We also have set up funds for my step kits.

1198
00:54:45,920 --> 00:54:48,600
Speaker 4: My step son is seven and my stepdaughter is five.

1199
00:54:48,840 --> 00:54:53,000
Speaker 4: They're very smart hits. Does Opie's current wife get along

1200
00:54:53,040 --> 00:54:56,000
Speaker 4: with his son? My wife gets along with my son,

1201
00:54:56,080 --> 00:54:57,800
Speaker 4: but she does not like my ex.

1202
00:54:58,440 --> 00:55:01,879
Speaker 6: No kidding, Yeah I would. Uh, I would say that's

1203
00:55:01,920 --> 00:55:02,840
Speaker 6: a safe assumption.

1204
00:55:03,080 --> 00:55:07,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, they almost never interact, so it usually doesn't matter.

1205
00:55:07,360 --> 00:55:10,799
Speaker 4: But yeah, there's real contempt there. She's always known about

1206
00:55:10,840 --> 00:55:13,960
Speaker 4: the house and never liked it, but lately it bothers.

1207
00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:14,640
Speaker 3: Her more than before.

1208
00:55:15,280 --> 00:55:21,600
Speaker 6: I wonder why, and I wonder why she's bothered.

1209
00:55:22,840 --> 00:55:26,040
Speaker 4: Comment says it does matter if she's verbalizing the contempt

1210
00:55:26,040 --> 00:55:29,360
Speaker 4: to your son. Why is she contemptuous? Why doesn't it

1211
00:55:29,400 --> 00:55:32,560
Speaker 4: bother you that your wife feels comfortable denigrating someone you

1212
00:55:32,600 --> 00:55:35,160
Speaker 4: were on such good terms with until she came on

1213
00:55:35,200 --> 00:55:38,040
Speaker 4: the scene. Oh, P says, No, she doesn't say anything

1214
00:55:38,040 --> 00:55:40,840
Speaker 4: in front of my son. Basically, my wife thinks my

1215
00:55:40,880 --> 00:55:43,080
Speaker 4: ex wife gave up on life and is a lazy,

1216
00:55:43,200 --> 00:55:44,320
Speaker 4: unfeminine slob.

1217
00:55:44,600 --> 00:55:48,879
Speaker 6: Well, okay, that's ichy, that's weird. Also, I did, Yeah,

1218
00:55:49,080 --> 00:55:51,040
Speaker 6: I was gonna say, she's not saying this in front

1219
00:55:51,040 --> 00:55:51,600
Speaker 6: of her son.

1220
00:55:51,760 --> 00:55:54,080
Speaker 4: No, but you's still icky that she's saying that at all.

1221
00:55:54,480 --> 00:55:56,440
Speaker 6: Yeah, but it's yeah, that's She.

1222
00:55:56,480 --> 00:55:59,360
Speaker 4: Mostly wears sweatpants and never puts on makeup. She doesn't

1223
00:55:59,400 --> 00:56:01,799
Speaker 4: push herself to relearn how to do things she did

1224
00:56:01,880 --> 00:56:02,920
Speaker 4: before her accident.

1225
00:56:03,560 --> 00:56:06,359
Speaker 3: It was an accident she was, you're about to learn

1226
00:56:06,400 --> 00:56:06,719
Speaker 3: about it.

1227
00:56:06,760 --> 00:56:10,600
Speaker 4: Oh, she no longer has professional ambitions. I think those

1228
00:56:10,600 --> 00:56:12,759
Speaker 4: things are none of our business. But my wife is

1229
00:56:12,800 --> 00:56:15,640
Speaker 4: more or less disgusted by my ex. She doesn't usually

1230
00:56:15,719 --> 00:56:19,640
Speaker 4: say anything and only ever does in private. Op on

1231
00:56:19,719 --> 00:56:22,160
Speaker 4: the divorce, Sop says, my ex was in an accident

1232
00:56:22,239 --> 00:56:26,200
Speaker 4: that limited her mobility and got rid of her libido.

1233
00:56:26,560 --> 00:56:30,200
Speaker 4: Our spiceless marriage made me resentful of her and made

1234
00:56:30,239 --> 00:56:32,719
Speaker 4: her paranoid that I was stepping out on her, which

1235
00:56:32,760 --> 00:56:35,440
Speaker 4: made me even more resentful because I was both not

1236
00:56:35,480 --> 00:56:37,960
Speaker 4: getting any and dealing with accusations of getting what I

1237
00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:41,120
Speaker 4: wasn't getting. Also, on top of all that, my previously

1238
00:56:41,160 --> 00:56:44,759
Speaker 4: active wife now couldn't do most of the fun activities

1239
00:56:44,800 --> 00:56:48,280
Speaker 4: we used to share. Finally, she said, if we stayed married,

1240
00:56:48,320 --> 00:56:52,759
Speaker 4: eventually we'll hate each other. Let's get divorced while at least.

1241
00:56:52,560 --> 00:56:53,560
Speaker 3: We still like each other.

1242
00:56:53,880 --> 00:56:59,560
Speaker 4: That is really devastating for her to make that really

1243
00:56:59,600 --> 00:57:03,240
Speaker 4: tragic or just like heartbreaking decision to end a marriage

1244
00:57:03,719 --> 00:57:08,080
Speaker 4: because she's had this life changing accident where she can

1245
00:57:08,160 --> 00:57:10,880
Speaker 4: no longer be active or you know, has the same

1246
00:57:11,080 --> 00:57:14,480
Speaker 4: drive that you do or she did, and then to

1247
00:57:14,520 --> 00:57:18,240
Speaker 4: have your new wife call her disgusting slob.

1248
00:57:18,600 --> 00:57:21,240
Speaker 6: I think because you guys, if she's aware of all

1249
00:57:21,280 --> 00:57:24,320
Speaker 6: of this, and it's like you guys, got a divorce

1250
00:57:25,040 --> 00:57:29,120
Speaker 6: because of something sort of that happened outside.

1251
00:57:28,720 --> 00:57:30,640
Speaker 3: Of either guy's control.

1252
00:57:31,080 --> 00:57:34,480
Speaker 6: She might be like, oh, maybe you're still you're like

1253
00:57:34,600 --> 00:57:37,760
Speaker 6: if like if a libido came back, you know, I

1254
00:57:37,800 --> 00:57:40,600
Speaker 6: don't know. It feels like because this accident was outside

1255
00:57:40,640 --> 00:57:45,960
Speaker 6: of your control, maybe she feels like she's a second option.

1256
00:57:46,640 --> 00:57:50,440
Speaker 6: Sure that you know was born from just exterior circumstances,

1257
00:57:50,480 --> 00:57:52,920
Speaker 6: and and she I think puts a lot of that

1258
00:57:53,000 --> 00:57:54,560
Speaker 6: on your current and your ex wife.

1259
00:57:54,680 --> 00:57:57,240
Speaker 4: I think I think that she is incredibly jealous of

1260
00:57:57,280 --> 00:58:02,040
Speaker 4: Op's wife, and and that's coming out in just this

1261
00:58:02,080 --> 00:58:07,360
Speaker 4: these nasty comments. Yeah, but there's more. Let's get divorced

1262
00:58:07,360 --> 00:58:09,600
Speaker 4: while we still like each other. You'll be free, and

1263
00:58:09,640 --> 00:58:11,600
Speaker 4: all I ask in return is that you look out

1264
00:58:11,640 --> 00:58:14,400
Speaker 4: for me. So that's what we did. I got to

1265
00:58:14,440 --> 00:58:17,000
Speaker 4: move on and marry someone I'm compatible with.

1266
00:58:17,160 --> 00:58:18,360
Speaker 6: Are we compatible with her?

1267
00:58:18,360 --> 00:58:18,600
Speaker 5: Though?

1268
00:58:19,000 --> 00:58:21,000
Speaker 4: And I'll always make sure she and our son are

1269
00:58:21,080 --> 00:58:24,120
Speaker 4: happy and healthy. It was her idea to get divorced

1270
00:58:24,120 --> 00:58:27,120
Speaker 4: because her paranoia about me potentially cheating on her was

1271
00:58:27,200 --> 00:58:32,480
Speaker 4: driving us both crazy. And there is an update five

1272
00:58:32,760 --> 00:58:37,080
Speaker 4: days later. Well, I decided to make some changes to

1273
00:58:37,120 --> 00:58:41,000
Speaker 4: the house situation, but my wife didn't like them. My

1274
00:58:41,120 --> 00:58:43,120
Speaker 4: ex and I are filing a new deed where we

1275
00:58:43,200 --> 00:58:46,160
Speaker 4: each gifted our son a portion of our equity that

1276
00:58:46,240 --> 00:58:50,240
Speaker 4: falls just under the annual gift tax exemption. If we

1277
00:58:50,320 --> 00:58:52,680
Speaker 4: do this every year, by the time our son is eighteen,

1278
00:58:53,200 --> 00:58:56,520
Speaker 4: the house will be fully or almost fully his no

1279
00:58:56,600 --> 00:58:59,360
Speaker 4: tax penalty. To say my wife was pissed would be

1280
00:58:59,400 --> 00:59:02,720
Speaker 4: an unders statement. I'm going to use my share of

1281
00:59:02,760 --> 00:59:05,320
Speaker 4: the rental proceeds split four ways to buff up the

1282
00:59:05,320 --> 00:59:09,080
Speaker 4: college savings for each kids, mine, hers, and the baby

1283
00:59:09,080 --> 00:59:11,760
Speaker 4: we're trying for. My wife is unhappy with all of this.

1284
00:59:12,320 --> 00:59:14,160
Speaker 4: I told her the house is an asset from my

1285
00:59:14,280 --> 00:59:17,400
Speaker 4: previous marriage, and so it goes to the benefit of

1286
00:59:17,440 --> 00:59:21,440
Speaker 4: my son from that marriage. Any assets she had with

1287
00:59:21,480 --> 00:59:24,160
Speaker 4: her ex would be rightfully my step kids if such

1288
00:59:24,200 --> 00:59:25,200
Speaker 4: assets existed.

1289
00:59:25,600 --> 00:59:28,560
Speaker 6: I think you guys really like I saw a comment

1290
00:59:28,880 --> 00:59:31,760
Speaker 6: if someone being like Opie thinks this is a healthy relationship.

1291
00:59:31,800 --> 00:59:34,960
Speaker 6: I'm like, yeah, I kind of agree. Dude. Yeah, literally,

1292
00:59:35,000 --> 00:59:40,120
Speaker 6: as long as your previous life exists, your current wife

1293
00:59:40,160 --> 00:59:42,360
Speaker 6: is going to like against you.

1294
00:59:42,720 --> 00:59:46,280
Speaker 4: She's literally trying to erase that entire previous life by

1295
00:59:46,520 --> 00:59:49,280
Speaker 4: by making She's trying to get you to also hate

1296
00:59:49,360 --> 00:59:53,760
Speaker 4: your ex wife, even though you ended amicably. She's trying

1297
00:59:53,760 --> 00:59:56,520
Speaker 4: to get rid of that tie. She's trying to convince

1298
00:59:56,640 --> 00:59:59,400
Speaker 4: you to give the money that rightfully belongs to your

1299
00:59:59,400 --> 01:00:04,240
Speaker 4: son to her kids. Not good, but there is a

1300
01:00:04,240 --> 01:00:07,120
Speaker 4: little bit left. I basically said, we need to get

1301
01:00:07,160 --> 01:00:09,600
Speaker 4: past this because if we're going to bring a baby

1302
01:00:09,600 --> 01:00:11,960
Speaker 4: into this world, we can't be fighting about such a

1303
01:00:12,000 --> 01:00:15,240
Speaker 4: non issue. She said she would accept it and move on,

1304
01:00:15,520 --> 01:00:18,880
Speaker 4: but she needed some time to do so. Basically, that's

1305
01:00:18,920 --> 01:00:22,240
Speaker 4: the resolution verification. A lot of you are confused about

1306
01:00:22,280 --> 01:00:25,680
Speaker 4: what the initial understanding concerning the house was. My ex

1307
01:00:25,720 --> 01:00:28,560
Speaker 4: and I invested money in this house. Our understanding was

1308
01:00:28,600 --> 01:00:31,480
Speaker 4: always that the house would be our sons once he

1309
01:00:31,560 --> 01:00:35,600
Speaker 4: became an adult, not that any income made made off

1310
01:00:35,640 --> 01:00:38,480
Speaker 4: of it before that would be his. We always intended

1311
01:00:38,480 --> 01:00:42,560
Speaker 4: to split profits once the house became income generating, which it.

1312
01:00:42,480 --> 01:00:43,479
Speaker 3: Only recently has.

1313
01:00:44,280 --> 01:00:45,360
Speaker 6: And that's the end of story.

1314
01:00:45,840 --> 01:00:47,720
Speaker 3: So good luck, Opie.

1315
01:00:48,280 --> 01:00:50,280
Speaker 4: Keep an eye out on your wife because if she

1316
01:00:50,320 --> 01:00:53,880
Speaker 4: doesn't change her tune, the song your guys are playing

1317
01:00:53,920 --> 01:00:55,320
Speaker 4: to not gonna sound very nice.