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Speaker 1: Hi, Catherine, Hi, Chelsea, Hi, Hi, Hi. How's everybody doing good?

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Speaker 1: You know what?

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Speaker 2: I actually saw our friends Allison and Darling in.

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Speaker 3: New York last week. Oh did you, I said Darling. Yes,

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Speaker 3: they're taking the town by storm. Everyone who's listening, please,

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Speaker 3: this is a reminder that if you tag me when

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Speaker 3: you're watching my special, my new special, The Feeling on Netflix,

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Speaker 3: where I wear my gold one piece, which is my

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Speaker 3: golden anniversary year. I had no idea between Gold Bond

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Speaker 3: that I was wearing gold gold bathing suit and then

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Speaker 3: my special, which I taped way before I turned fifty.

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Speaker 3: I was wearing my gold jumpsuit and this is my

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Speaker 3: fiftieth year, so everything is gold and that's your golden anniversary.

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Speaker 1: So it's my anniversary with myself.

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Speaker 4: I love that, I know.

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Speaker 3: So please tag me for the special because I get

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Speaker 3: so many tags about my books, but I'm not getting

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Speaker 3: as many about my special, and my special is the

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Speaker 3: newest thing out, so I want to make sure all

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Speaker 3: my ardent fans are watching it and tagging me, and

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Speaker 3: I'll repost you.

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Speaker 1: And yes, it's called The Feeling.

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Speaker 4: I love it.

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Speaker 2: And Chelsea, we also went to ask for more couples

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Speaker 2: and duos to call in or to write in for

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Speaker 2: many sods.

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Speaker 3: Yes, if you're having a even if it's a friendship

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Speaker 3: like kind of disagreement or a relationship disagreement, we want

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Speaker 3: you guys to call in for couples advice. We're going

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Speaker 3: to do that on our minisodes as well too. And

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Speaker 3: also everyone can check out my European dates. I start

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Speaker 3: in Rekuvic mid May and I end in Lisbon, Portugal

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Speaker 3: at the beginning of June. So come see me in

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Speaker 3: Europe if you're one of our European fans. Also, if

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Speaker 3: you guys want another inspiring book to read, I am Maria.

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Speaker 3: But Maria Shreiver just came out and it is beautiful.

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Speaker 3: It's a book of poetry. I'm not really but it's

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Speaker 3: not your traditional poetry. It's like stream of consciousness poetry.

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Speaker 3: And there's a forward by her about everything she's experienced

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Speaker 3: in her life that is so moving and it just

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Speaker 3: blew me away. I read the entire book last night

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Speaker 3: on my sofa.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well, I just finished Dilan Mulvaney's new memoir.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I've read that of course for our new guest,

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Speaker 1: I mean guest.

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Speaker 2: It's so I mean obviously. You know, we read a

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Speaker 2: lot of celebrit memoirs on the show, and I think

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Speaker 2: it's one of my favorites that I've ever read. Like,

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Speaker 2: it's so beautiful, it's funny, it's light, it's refreshing, like

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Speaker 2: it's honest.

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Speaker 4: It's great.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a great read, just like Dylan herself. She's

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Speaker 1: a great read.

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Speaker 2: And her brand new podcast, The Dylan Hour, just launched.

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Speaker 2: I actually worked on it. It was so much fun.

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Speaker 2: It has amazing episodes. It's so fun and kitchy. It's

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Speaker 2: really fun to watch on YouTube also because it's like

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Speaker 2: sixties themed and it has a whole pink set and

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Speaker 2: it's really sweet. I would start with either like the

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Speaker 2: Norri Read episode. It's really really fun. There's an episode

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Speaker 2: with her dad that's really.

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Speaker 4: Touching and really fun.

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Speaker 2: She's got an episode with Glennon Doyle. Go check it

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Speaker 2: out The Dylan Hour, which it.

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Speaker 1: Brings us to our guests. Please welcome Dylan mulvaney. Oh

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Speaker 1: look at you. Look at how you handled that microphone. Dylan.

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Speaker 3: Wow, I'm a podcast throw Wow back by popular demand.

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Speaker 1: Wow, by very popular demand, is our favorite.

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Speaker 3: Our favorite transgender woman, our favorite transgender person.

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Speaker 1: Dylan mulvaney is back.

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Speaker 5: Oh.

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Speaker 3: We have a lot of catching up to do, have

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Speaker 3: a lot to talk because you've been hanging around with

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Speaker 3: a lot of my friends. I saw Alan Cummings. You

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Speaker 3: posted a picture of you guys last night.

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Speaker 5: I'm like, where well? I More importantly, the last time

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Speaker 5: was on this podcast. The last thing I asked you.

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Speaker 5: I hadn't been kissed as a girl yet, and I

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Speaker 5: was like, should I do it? And you were like, yeah,

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Speaker 5: hurry the fuck up. Yeah, And I did accomplish a

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Speaker 5: lot of that.

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Speaker 4: So you last saw each other.

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Speaker 5: But what I'm about to show you is very important

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Speaker 5: because I was in Paris and this was Alan Cumming

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Speaker 5: was included in this evening and I went clubbing with

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Speaker 5: a bunch of people from a conference and I left

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Speaker 5: the club looking like this. And I just wish that

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Speaker 5: for our audio listeners that they would really get to

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Speaker 5: see this.

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Speaker 4: But can you describe what you see?

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Speaker 6: Well?

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Speaker 3: We can hold it up. Can I hold this up

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Speaker 3: to a camera? Can you see that this is Dylan.

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Speaker 4: That's me leaving the club.

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Speaker 3: Look, I'm like a whore on the loose. This is

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Speaker 3: what I would call summer whore. When you have a

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Speaker 3: hot pink lipstick. It's all around.

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Speaker 4: Her once like maroon, and then it went, it's giving clown.

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Speaker 4: This is ridiculous. Basically I went into the club.

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Speaker 1: And sucked face with everyone you saw.

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Speaker 4: And just one, just one, and he really did a

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Speaker 4: number on my makeup.

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Speaker 3: Your face looks like my head right now. I thought

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Speaker 3: I had a pimple on my forehead morning.

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Speaker 4: Are you saying my face looks like a pimple.

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Speaker 1: In that picture? It looks like a big pimple that

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Speaker 1: pops right now. That one.

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Speaker 4: We got a big problem. What I'm walking around like

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Speaker 4: all the time.

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Speaker 3: I thought I had a pimple on my forehead this

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Speaker 3: morning in my hotel room, and I went in after it,

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Speaker 3: and then as I was trying to squeeze it and

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Speaker 3: nothing was coming out, I realized it's a fucking mosquito bite.

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Speaker 1: Oh so I basically attacked myself.

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Speaker 3: It adds character, and I went and it's like a

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Speaker 3: knot on my head right now.

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Speaker 1: I got into my car this morning.

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Speaker 5: We're a New York cartoon with like a fucking piano

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Speaker 5: dropped on your head, New York.

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Speaker 1: And my driver's like, what's he goes, what's wrong with

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Speaker 1: your head? That's what he said to me.

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Speaker 3: Rapa, he can say that thoughways been my driver for

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Speaker 3: a long time. Okay, So, Dylan mulvaney, the last time

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Speaker 3: we spoke, you were I mean, first of all, I

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Speaker 3: don't even know where to begin.

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Speaker 5: You've been very busy, been all over. But I was

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Speaker 5: going through the ringer right when I saw you.

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Speaker 1: That was because you were getting you were getting a

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Speaker 1: lot of.

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Speaker 5: Back a lot of backlash. And now that's just seems

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Speaker 5: to be the trend of my life.

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Speaker 3: And so let's revisit what was happening. It was the

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Speaker 3: beer commercial.

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Speaker 5: There was a beer situation, and it felt like the

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Speaker 5: whole world was after me. And now I've really learned

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Speaker 5: how to not give a fuck, and I think I

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Speaker 5: learned that's kind of from you. And I also just

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Speaker 5: now know to roll with the punches, because if this

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Speaker 5: is going to be my life, then I think that's

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Speaker 5: kind of just comes with it.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we do our best.

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Speaker 3: I think it's very important to build resiliency as soon

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Speaker 3: as you possibly can, because if you're going to be

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Speaker 3: in a public, if you're going to be in the public.

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Speaker 1: There is no way that you're going to get out.

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Speaker 3: Of this unscathed being a public personality, there's just no way.

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Speaker 3: So when people are really sensitive and they can't deal

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Speaker 3: with it, I mean, it's a natural reaction to have,

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Speaker 3: but eventually you have to toughen up a little.

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Speaker 5: Were you ever fragile? I kind of the way I've

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Speaker 5: read your stuff, like, it doesn't seem like that.

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Speaker 3: I don't know if fragile would be the word, but

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Speaker 3: I've been knocked down a lot. Yeah, I've been knocked

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Speaker 3: over and down and thought, oh fuck, maybe I should

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Speaker 3: just disappear. Maybe everyone's sick of me, or maybe this

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Speaker 3: or that and that. You know, you think that those

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Speaker 3: moments are temporary. They're not permanent. And I deal with

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Speaker 3: a lot of people that come to me who are

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Speaker 3: fragile and want to know what to do.

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Speaker 4: I think we're attracted to you.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe a magnetism because it's like, oh you're okay.

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Speaker 3: But but that becomes a lot to handle too. Like

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Speaker 3: I remember this was just last week. I was like,

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Speaker 3: I had so much of my own shit to deal with,

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Speaker 3: and then I had like four or five people coming

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Speaker 3: to me about how to deal with their shit, and

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Speaker 3: I remember thinking, I don't have the fucking time for this,

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Speaker 3: I'm not a counselor. But then I'm like, no, you

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Speaker 3: are a counselor. That's actually what you like enjoy doing.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you want to help people.

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Speaker 4: So it's easier to look in rather than into yourself sometimes.

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Speaker 3: Have you met anyone that you're interested in, like more

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Speaker 3: long term? Are you just having fun with strangers?

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Speaker 4: You know in Paris bars that'll do it?

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Speaker 5: Oh? Oh my god, You're gonna die. I can't believe

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Speaker 5: I'm telling you this on air. I did hook up

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Speaker 5: with my room service waiter in Paris also this weekend.

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Speaker 1: I've always dreamt about.

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Speaker 5: Actually I left that that picture moment, and I went

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Speaker 5: back to the hotel and then I got a charcoonery

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Speaker 5: board and the waiter was so hot chelse and and.

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Speaker 4: He went Savah and I went Sava.

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Speaker 1: And then does that mean suki? Suki? What is something?

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Speaker 4: How are you? I think? And I said how are you?

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Speaker 5: And somebody else is gonna quote me that was incorrect.

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Speaker 5: Then we started making out and it was amazing.

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Speaker 1: I love that these things.

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Speaker 3: You were making out with your room service attendant. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I didn't even know that was legal.

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Speaker 5: Well, I'm trying to kind of pivot because I went

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Speaker 5: on a date a few weeks ago where the person was, well,

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Speaker 5: I was on a date with a woman and she

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Speaker 5: was like She first asked me, She's like, are you

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Speaker 5: into me? And I was like, yeah, I'm into you.

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Speaker 5: And then I was like are you into me? And

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Speaker 5: she's like well, and I was like what does that mean.

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Speaker 5: She's like, You're kind of like the baby bird and

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Speaker 5: I'm the mama bird. And I don't know if I'm

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Speaker 5: allowed to fuck the baby bird. And I'm like, you

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Speaker 5: can fuck the baby bird. And I'm just sort of

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Speaker 5: now trying to figure out how to take myself out

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Speaker 5: of the cute to fuckable category, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 4: So, dear Chelsea, how do you go from cute to fuckable?

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Speaker 1: I think it's a natural progression and it's gonna happen

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Speaker 1: very naturally.

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Speaker 3: And what I see with the room service waiter, and

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Speaker 3: it starts with sucking off the room service waiter. No,

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Speaker 3: I don't think you sucked out.

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Speaker 4: I didn't do it.

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Speaker 6: I don't.

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Speaker 3: Okay, good good, because I just yeah, yeah, I mean

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Speaker 3: you can. There's nothing wrong with that. I mean, I

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Speaker 3: don't know what goes on in France, but it sounds wonderful.

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Speaker 3: This is like when messuses go.

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Speaker 1: Down on you.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, I've had a lot of massages and that's

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Speaker 3: never come up.

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Speaker 4: I was gonna say you did say it though, like

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Speaker 4: that was a frequent Like.

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Speaker 3: I would like I would love a messuse to go

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Speaker 3: down on me, to get on grinder. I well, but

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Speaker 3: I want to just have a mesuse offer it, Like

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Speaker 3: why not. I'm relaxed, I'm not gonna fight you. You can

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Speaker 3: go down on me, finger blast me. That's the perfect

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Speaker 3: setting for me to get figure blasted is while I'm

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Speaker 3: lying down half hour for you too. I know so,

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Speaker 3: and I hear all these stories. I even went to

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Speaker 3: this hotel that I heard, Yeah, what's wrong with me?

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Speaker 3: And then I was like, oh, I guess. And my

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Speaker 3: friends like, you're just too intimidating. I go while I'm

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Speaker 3: getting a massage. To intimidate, you have to go.

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Speaker 5: In full glam. You get full glamm done. We get

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Speaker 5: Jamie makeup in here just to really beat your face.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you've been hanging out with Jamie makeup.

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Speaker 4: I love that woman vibe so fun.

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Speaker 1: I know, she's so fun.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you got to keep the good ones around.

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Speaker 3: I told her she's a personality higher. You need her personality.

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Speaker 3: I was like, forget about your makeup skills. Your personality

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Speaker 3: is where it's at.

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Speaker 4: That's how I feel about myself too.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so tell me about your life. I want to know.

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Speaker 3: So you left here and you had a lot of

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Speaker 3: drama with the beer, and then that subsided.

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Speaker 5: And then we started Marco polowing in you because we

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Speaker 5: found that I don't like to text, you don't like

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Speaker 5: to do facetimes or phone calls. So it's like this

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Speaker 5: walkie talkie app and I asked you about ayahuasca. Went

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Speaker 5: to do that down in by myself. Yes, And that

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Speaker 5: really made me willing to do life again. It was

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Speaker 5: like a lot of great things came up. And then

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Speaker 5: I came back to the States and finished up my book.

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Speaker 5: I've got my podcast.

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Speaker 1: It's the podcast call.

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Speaker 4: It's called the Dylan Hour.

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Speaker 1: Oh I love it.

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Speaker 5: And it's sort of like to serve a podcast thank you.

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Speaker 5: It's like sort of this nineteen sixties flare, you know.

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Speaker 5: I love to live in the eras. And what it

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Speaker 5: originally came from was that there was I was getting

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Speaker 5: so much hate from these like conservative extremist, like right

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Speaker 5: wingers all had all these podcasts, and I was like, well,

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Speaker 5: what the fuck, I want one? And and so it's

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Speaker 5: not targeting those people at all. It's just kind of

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Speaker 5: a celebration of femininity. And the important part is that

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Speaker 5: we get to drink alcohol on it. Which do you

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Speaker 5: ever do that on here?

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Speaker 3: I don't, not on my podcast, but I did Burt

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Speaker 3: Kreischer's podcast, and it was around It was at noon,

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Speaker 3: and I had.

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Speaker 1: Two vodka OJ's. Oh and it was a two hour podcast.

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Speaker 3: And I think that's pretty much how all podcasts should

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Speaker 3: be conducted.

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Speaker 1: It's just a very loose.

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Speaker 3: Format, and people are more relaxed, and it's just easier

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Speaker 3: to drink and talk about yourself.

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Speaker 4: And in they'll tell you more things.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I don't need alcohol to open me up,

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Speaker 3: you know. I mean I already have a problem with

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Speaker 3: my mouth. I gave away way too much information.

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Speaker 4: If you were gonna come on my pod, what do

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Speaker 4: you think we would drink? Like, what's your go to?

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Speaker 1: I was drinking gin for a while. I'm kind of

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Speaker 1: engine you'll get there, honey.

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Speaker 3: I'm a little bit in gin. And then I'm kind

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Speaker 3: of pivoting back to vodka. Now, vodka was brushing me

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Speaker 3: out for a while because it tasted like it started

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Speaker 3: to taste like gasoline. But whenever you overdo anything, it

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Speaker 3: starts to taste disgusting.

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Speaker 4: You ever tried to ever clear?

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Speaker 1: Oh no, that's really gasoline.

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Speaker 4: I like that.

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Speaker 1: That's like rubbing alcohol.

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Speaker 4: That'll get you.

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Speaker 1: What are you drinking?

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Speaker 4: I love vodka. I love an espresso Martina.

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Speaker 1: Oh I had one of those yesterday.

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Speaker 4: I will keep you up. And I love oh dirty

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Speaker 4: Shirley Temple. You've ever had one of those? What's surety

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Speaker 4: temple with vodka? Oh? Yeah?

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Speaker 5: Or an aperol sprits? Yeah, that's very my York of eyes. Yeah, my,

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Speaker 5: orca very my or so you'll.

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Speaker 4: Come on my pod one day of course, okay, talking

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Speaker 4: about how to drink.

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Speaker 5: Honored to be on your podcast, and yeah, it's sort

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Speaker 5: of just like a celebration of femininity in giving me

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Speaker 5: a chance to get off, you know, the internet so

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Speaker 5: much and kind of get in front of somebody else

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Speaker 5: because so much of what I was doing online was

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Speaker 5: just me in my bedroom, and I was like, I

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Speaker 5: haven't talked to someone in five days, so it's time

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Speaker 5: to sit down and shoot the shit.

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Speaker 1: And are you still living in your same house.

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Speaker 4: I live in the cute house.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 3: I didn't know if you had to move because we'll

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Speaker 3: worried about all the back That was scary.

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Speaker 4: But we're okay now now.

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Speaker 1: Everything's good, So that's great. I'm glad to hear that.

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Speaker 1: What other backlash have you been facing?

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Speaker 4: I released a song called Days of Girlhood. Did you

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Speaker 4: hear about that one?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? I heard about that, but I did not hear

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Speaker 1: about the backlash.

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Speaker 5: So I put this song out sort of as like

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Speaker 5: you ever heard of Rebecca blacks Friday, Yeah, or like

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Speaker 5: Paris Hilton stars are Blind. You know. I wanted one

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Speaker 5: song to give the gaze, you know, if I was

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Speaker 5: going to go at any moment, just to remember me

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Speaker 5: and and so I basically put the most sort of

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Speaker 5: just like still tereotypical, silly feminine things into one song.

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Speaker 4: I did not think I was singing fucking you know.

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Speaker 5: I didn't think I was Chaikowski or anything when I

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Speaker 5: went into writing this. And wow, the Internet just roasted

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Speaker 5: me because it first started with the turfs, and it

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Speaker 5: started with you know, women who were so deeply offended

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Speaker 5: that I would be singing about.

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Speaker 4: Womanhood or girlhood.

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Speaker 5: Wait, what's the turf trans exclusionary radical feminists. So a

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Speaker 5: feminist that doesn't include trans people, okay, copy like as

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Speaker 5: jk Rowling, Yes, right, but this song gave them kind

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Speaker 5: of like this perfect sort of like, oh, I'm gonna

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Speaker 5: be sad on the internet to talk about how much

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Speaker 5: this song, you know, made them so upset. And then

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Speaker 5: my audience had already decided that it was a bad song.

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Speaker 4: But the thing about gen Z is they.

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Speaker 5: Will ride hard, and so when they found out it

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Speaker 5: was getting hate, they were like, well, now this is

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Speaker 5: my favorite fucking song I've ever heard. But yeah, I

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Speaker 5: don't think I meant for I don't think the music

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Speaker 5: industries for me. How about you?

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Speaker 1: No, No, I don't have any I can't sing and

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Speaker 1: I have no rhythm.

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Speaker 4: I can't go to karaoke.

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Speaker 1: I don't do karaoke, Dylan, are you not hearing me?

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Speaker 1: I cannot you want to hear me saying I.

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Speaker 3: Do Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you?

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Speaker 4: Like that's it good?

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Speaker 1: No, that's not good. I know that's not good. And

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Speaker 1: I'm not taking voice lessons. What you think I need

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Speaker 1: to add that to my repertoire.

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Speaker 4: I don't know it sounds like, you've got two months

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Speaker 4: in my Orca to fucking.

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Speaker 3: I find one month in my Orca and I'm not

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Speaker 3: fucking and I'm not recording an album.

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Speaker 1: You want me to come out with a song so

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Speaker 1: I can get more hay than you got.

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Speaker 2: So you can do you can be like, look you

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Speaker 2: you see this one.

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Speaker 3: We should we actually I should record a song and

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Speaker 3: then we release it together called you thought I was

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Speaker 3: an asshole?

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Speaker 4: Watch this feat. I'm gonna be pictured on it. Catherine,

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Speaker 4: do you sing?

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Speaker 2: I do I do sing?

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Speaker 6: Oh?

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00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:53,080
Speaker 4: Hell yeah?

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Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, so you know I'll sing on the on

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Speaker 2: there with you as well.

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Speaker 1: Catherine sings when she talks sometimes and I have to stop.

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Speaker 3: Chelsea's like fuck, I'm like, yeah, Catherine, that does not

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Speaker 3: go with this podcast.

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Speaker 2: I can't help it.

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Speaker 4: I have a song, and Mines is not a musical

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Speaker 4: theater podcast. Minus get Ready.

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Speaker 3: I want to talk about some heartfelt moments that you've

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Speaker 3: had with like fans and people that have reached out

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Speaker 3: to you, because that must feel really good and meaningful,

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Speaker 3: and I.

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Speaker 1: Know that you have them.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god.

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Speaker 5: Every day I think, like so often the internet feels

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Speaker 5: like the most toxic place. And then I'll open up

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Speaker 5: like a DM from like a girl that just went

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Speaker 5: to college that's getting her bottom surgery, or a parent

397
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Speaker 5: that like they watched my videos together and like that

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Speaker 5: to me is worth it. Like I think so often

399
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Speaker 5: I feel like social media and content creation, it's so

400
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Speaker 5: can feel really icky. Sometimes it can feel like it's

401
00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:53,800
Speaker 5: either selfish or that you don't know if it's actually

402
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Speaker 5: helping anyone, or that it's potentially hurting you know, Like

403
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Speaker 5: I'd never want to put something out there that's about

404
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Speaker 5: representation of the trans community. But then when you've got

405
00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:06,280
Speaker 5: the dolls surrounding you and rallying behind you. And that

406
00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:09,720
Speaker 5: was my big takeaway from the backlash at beer Gate

407
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:13,880
Speaker 5: was like, oh I got so burned, and the trans

408
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Speaker 5: community and the queer community were the ones waiting to

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Speaker 5: pick me back up. And I think that just told

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Speaker 5: me like, Oh, that's who I want on my side,

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Speaker 5: That's who I want my audience to be. And because

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Speaker 5: I tried so hard to be palatable for so long, to.

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Speaker 3: Be and feeling to all these people, right, Yeah, we

414
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:32,440
Speaker 3: were talking about that with my book title. They were like, oh,

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Speaker 3: well this is going to exclude men, and I'm like,

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Speaker 3: but what straight men are reading my books. Like, let's

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Speaker 3: be honest, I'd rather home in on the people that

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Speaker 3: are my audience, all the people who feel like I do,

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Speaker 3: who don't want to have children, who are single, who

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Speaker 3: is you know? Who care about being a woman and

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Speaker 3: being a sister and all of those things. It's better

422
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Speaker 3: to focus and home in on your audience instead of

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Speaker 3: trying to appeal to everyone.

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Speaker 2: Amen.

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Speaker 5: In my show that I'm doing is called fag Hag,

426
00:16:57,920 --> 00:16:59,520
Speaker 5: and a lot of people go, oh my god, can

427
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Speaker 5: I say that.

428
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Speaker 4: I'm like, I don't know, can you? I've seen have

429
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Speaker 4: a bag hag?

430
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Speaker 1: I know, I know, like I do. I love ga.

431
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Speaker 1: I went out last night.

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Speaker 3: I tried to set my two gay guy friends up

433
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Speaker 3: and my one gay friend got so fucking wasted he

434
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Speaker 3: was such a mess at dinner. And then I had

435
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:19,960
Speaker 3: my other friend at dinner. She was got off a

436
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:22,280
Speaker 3: plane from Paris, and so I'm with this guy that

437
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:23,800
Speaker 3: I know, trying to set him up with this guy

438
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Speaker 3: and my other friend and they're not making any sense,

439
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Speaker 3: the two of them.

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Speaker 1: It was like being out with three year olds.

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Speaker 4: So did they like each other? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: They ended up hucking up so great turn Well, I

443
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Speaker 3: don't know you know, because you like men and women,

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Speaker 3: so it's hard for me to focus on which one.

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Speaker 4: Okay.

446
00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:39,879
Speaker 5: It's funny though, because when I'm on Riah and I'm

447
00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:42,879
Speaker 5: looking for your men, it's a lot of these guys

448
00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:46,639
Speaker 5: that'll say like mutual, you know, mutual and common Chelsea Handler,

449
00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:50,280
Speaker 5: and it's usually you know, it's usually the men over

450
00:17:50,359 --> 00:17:54,080
Speaker 5: forty and and I'm like, do I want to be

451
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,680
Speaker 5: do I want to be sisters with her on this one?

452
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,359
Speaker 5: And then I sometimes I'm like should I text Hervey?

453
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:01,000
Speaker 5: And I'm like, he's not hot enough to really go

454
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,520
Speaker 5: to bat for this one? Yeah, right, but I will

455
00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:04,520
Speaker 5: start vetting through you.

456
00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:05,880
Speaker 1: If yeah, just send me a screen.

457
00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:07,960
Speaker 3: They always say no, you can't take a screenshot, but

458
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:08,840
Speaker 3: I do it all the time.

459
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:13,600
Speaker 1: I do it. You're not spurt, They're not going to bandy.

460
00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:16,040
Speaker 1: If they haven't banned me by now, they're not gonna

461
00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:16,359
Speaker 1: ban me.

462
00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:19,040
Speaker 3: And sometimes I need to take a screenshot because I'm like, wait,

463
00:18:19,119 --> 00:18:20,720
Speaker 3: I don't know if I've already met this person.

464
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:22,800
Speaker 5: Sometimes they'll be like really hot, and I'll be like,

465
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:26,199
Speaker 5: good for Chelsea, and I can only assume, you know,

466
00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:27,760
Speaker 5: maybe it's like your fucking pool boy.

467
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:30,480
Speaker 3: I know, I know, I use RYA a lot when

468
00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:34,440
Speaker 3: I'm and yeah, in spurts are periods of my life

469
00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:37,920
Speaker 3: where I am all about ryacause it's just so fun

470
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:39,920
Speaker 3: when you're in a different city and you're just wanting

471
00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:41,520
Speaker 3: to hook up and nothing more serious.

472
00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:44,080
Speaker 5: It's perfect tool, oh the best, and you can like

473
00:18:44,119 --> 00:18:46,480
Speaker 5: I've seen guys from high school that like I had

474
00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:49,359
Speaker 5: a crush on, or I've seen like my favorite actors

475
00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:51,160
Speaker 5: and that it's it's good.

476
00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:54,040
Speaker 3: On that note, we're gonna take a break, Dylan, and

477
00:18:54,119 --> 00:18:55,720
Speaker 3: we'll be right back with Dylan mulvaney.

478
00:18:56,119 --> 00:18:58,639
Speaker 2: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, right into us at

479
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:02,280
Speaker 2: Dear Chelsea Podcast gmail dot com. We'd love to hear

480
00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:04,960
Speaker 2: your questions for any juicy story you'd like advice on.

481
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:08,000
Speaker 2: But this week we're especially looking for questions about parenting.

482
00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:10,040
Speaker 2: So if you are a parent and have problem children,

483
00:19:10,119 --> 00:19:12,160
Speaker 2: please write in and tell us your story at Dear

484
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:17,360
Speaker 2: Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com.

485
00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:20,440
Speaker 1: And we're back with Dylan mulvaney. Catherine, are we ready

486
00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:21,240
Speaker 1: to rumble today?

487
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:24,000
Speaker 2: We are so ready to rumble. We've got our callers

488
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:28,320
Speaker 2: hanging out, We've got questions, and our first question comes

489
00:19:28,359 --> 00:19:32,320
Speaker 2: from Audrey, I think this fits very much into what

490
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:36,760
Speaker 2: you were talking about with dating and dating guys are girls, so,

491
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:40,479
Speaker 2: Audrey says, Hi, Chelsea, I'm a twenty two year old

492
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:41,720
Speaker 2: trans woman from the South.

493
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:43,080
Speaker 4: I have a doozy for you.

494
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:45,560
Speaker 2: I've been with a man for four years and we

495
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:48,440
Speaker 2: got together a couple months into my transition. I love

496
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:51,040
Speaker 2: him and he is my best friend, but I've recently

497
00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:54,280
Speaker 2: come to the realization that I'm attracted to women. I

498
00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:56,520
Speaker 2: think I just made myself believe I was attracted to

499
00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:59,240
Speaker 2: men because I liked how validated and feminine it made

500
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:02,120
Speaker 2: me feel to dat man. But I've come to realize

501
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,800
Speaker 2: my femininity is just as valid being with a man

502
00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:07,840
Speaker 2: or a woman. After thinking about all of this, my

503
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:11,080
Speaker 2: attraction to men has gone way down. It's like once

504
00:20:11,119 --> 00:20:13,400
Speaker 2: I discovered the truth, my brain wouldn't let me see

505
00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:16,240
Speaker 2: men the same. My attraction for women is now greater

506
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:18,199
Speaker 2: than it is to men. Should I tell him I

507
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,919
Speaker 2: want to experiment with women. Should we break up? I

508
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:22,520
Speaker 2: don't want to hurt my best friend that I love

509
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:25,280
Speaker 2: so much, but I want to make some changes. Audrey

510
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:27,680
Speaker 2: Dylan Well.

511
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:31,399
Speaker 5: I think it's very common for trans people to expand

512
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:37,159
Speaker 5: their sexuality, you know, after a gender identity shift, because

513
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:40,040
Speaker 5: I think once you unlock one part of yourself, you're like,

514
00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:42,640
Speaker 5: oh my gosh, there's this Why would I limit myself?

515
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:42,879
Speaker 2: You know?

516
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:45,520
Speaker 5: It's like I think we put sort of parameters on

517
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:48,280
Speaker 5: ourselves and once you open one floodgate, you're like, fuck it.

518
00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:51,480
Speaker 5: And I think that's kind of what happened with me,

519
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:53,199
Speaker 5: is like as far as like, oh, why am I

520
00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:56,240
Speaker 5: limiting myself? But I also think and it sounds like

521
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:59,359
Speaker 5: it's more so just based on her attraction women in

522
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:02,080
Speaker 5: less of like her disdain for men, because I more

523
00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:05,080
Speaker 5: so I'm like, Wow, this grass isn't greener because I

524
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:07,000
Speaker 5: had never been with straight men before and now I

525
00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:09,920
Speaker 5: have and it's actually not the it's not amazing.

526
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:13,680
Speaker 3: Yes, gay men, I knows, it's not amazing, And that's

527
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:16,080
Speaker 3: why so many women are becoming la.

528
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:18,760
Speaker 4: Life lesbian friends make that change.

529
00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:20,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's totally normal.

530
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:23,160
Speaker 5: And then like in getting really serious really fast, which

531
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:27,520
Speaker 5: they getting really serious with women, And I think for

532
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:31,199
Speaker 5: Audrey it sounds like maybe if there's nothing going on

533
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:34,280
Speaker 5: with the relationship that feels toxic or unsafe and she

534
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:38,080
Speaker 5: still really does enjoy this person, it sounds like maybe

535
00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:40,960
Speaker 5: an open relationship might yeah, the option.

536
00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:42,720
Speaker 3: If he's if he's going to be open for that,

537
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:44,720
Speaker 3: But I really don't think you have a choice. Like,

538
00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:47,199
Speaker 3: when you love someone and you respect them, it is

539
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:49,840
Speaker 3: really kind of imperative that you are honest with them. Oh,

540
00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:52,960
Speaker 3: absolutely so, Like either way, I mean, if he's not

541
00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:55,520
Speaker 3: open to it, you'll find out right away. But either way,

542
00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:58,120
Speaker 3: you need to be honest about your desires and see

543
00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:01,280
Speaker 3: how and give him the opportunity to say yay or

544
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:02,359
Speaker 3: if he rejects it, and.

545
00:22:02,359 --> 00:22:04,680
Speaker 5: Then you have a decision to make right Catherine, did

546
00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:08,480
Speaker 5: she write specifically that she's met another woman that's kind

547
00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:10,000
Speaker 5: of interesting to her yet? No?

548
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:12,320
Speaker 2: Huhuh, just I think in general.

549
00:22:12,119 --> 00:22:14,200
Speaker 5: Well, that's a good timing situation. You know, it sounds

550
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:17,000
Speaker 5: like a conversation with the boyfriend or you know, the

551
00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:19,600
Speaker 5: man friend that to see how he feels, you know,

552
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:21,800
Speaker 5: about what this relationship could look like.

553
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:23,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you should definitely address it.

554
00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:24,120
Speaker 4: Though.

555
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:28,200
Speaker 3: It's good practice to address these uncomfortable conversations as early

556
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:30,439
Speaker 3: as you can because life is filled with them, and

557
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:32,760
Speaker 3: the better you are at being honest and upfront and

558
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:36,760
Speaker 3: direct without it being acrimonious or screaming or yelling, like

559
00:22:37,119 --> 00:22:40,080
Speaker 3: the more evolved you become and the better skilled you

560
00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:42,880
Speaker 3: are to actually handle difficult situations.

561
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:47,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know, Audrey is only twenty two, so

562
00:22:47,359 --> 00:22:50,359
Speaker 2: like very young, just starting to experience these things. And

563
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:53,119
Speaker 2: she also mentioned best friend a couple of times, and

564
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:56,480
Speaker 2: there's maybe some examination there of you know, our relationships

565
00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:58,560
Speaker 2: change over time, and maybe you do feel about this

566
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:02,719
Speaker 2: guy more than he's a friends than a real partner, right,

567
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:04,919
Speaker 2: you know, or maybe the romantic feelings of shit and

568
00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:06,040
Speaker 2: gen Z.

569
00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:10,160
Speaker 5: Is so fluid with their with everything, And I think

570
00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:12,640
Speaker 5: that my advice to her would be, like, don't try

571
00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:14,879
Speaker 5: to put a label on what this attraction is for

572
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:18,200
Speaker 5: you until you do a little experimenting and you put

573
00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:21,680
Speaker 5: your you know, like you might like being with women

574
00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:24,199
Speaker 5: more than you expected, or it might not. But I

575
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:27,600
Speaker 5: think in the meantime, having this conversation with the guy

576
00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:30,679
Speaker 5: and going from there, because I don't think anyone in

577
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:33,560
Speaker 5: that age group is going to be judgy.

578
00:23:34,359 --> 00:23:37,000
Speaker 3: I also think it's a great time in your life

579
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:40,280
Speaker 3: to be experimenting with your femininity. Like I liked what

580
00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:42,639
Speaker 3: you said in her letter about like she's realizing that

581
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:45,400
Speaker 3: her femininity isn't reliant upon a male presence.

582
00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:47,440
Speaker 4: I did get a little nervous.

583
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:50,120
Speaker 5: I thought about, you know, being with the woman, would

584
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:52,560
Speaker 5: that make me feel like I had to like step

585
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:56,000
Speaker 5: up and put on sort of these like masculine qualities.

586
00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:58,919
Speaker 5: But it's never been that way. And I think that

587
00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:02,560
Speaker 5: as long as it's giving you dysphoria, it can be

588
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:07,199
Speaker 5: really beautiful because a woman honoring a trans woman's existence,

589
00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:10,120
Speaker 5: like in a romantic relationship, is really special.

590
00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:12,879
Speaker 1: What ended up happening with you and this older woman

591
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:16,200
Speaker 1: or this this woman, you were just the mama bird,

592
00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:16,920
Speaker 1: the mama bird.

593
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:19,040
Speaker 4: Sorry you did not we kissed, but then I think

594
00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:21,680
Speaker 4: it was then you were urgitated. Well, then I asked you.

595
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:23,399
Speaker 5: I asked her. I was like, well, how do we

596
00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:26,439
Speaker 5: go from cute to fuckable? And she was like, you

597
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:27,679
Speaker 5: need to have more sex? And I was like, how

598
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:29,720
Speaker 5: do you know I'm not having more sex? And she

599
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:31,520
Speaker 5: was like, well are you? And I was like no.

600
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:35,199
Speaker 5: And so I think it was kind of like doctor's

601
00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:38,200
Speaker 5: order situation. And then I'll circle back, you know.

602
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:42,080
Speaker 3: With like SOD two weeks after you've told me some

603
00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:44,920
Speaker 3: it sounds like your your pairing skills are great.

604
00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:47,280
Speaker 1: Well, I mean I've been on a roll late. I

605
00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:50,320
Speaker 1: mean I've hoped up, I've made I've actually set three

606
00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:51,960
Speaker 1: people up in the last six months.

607
00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:55,040
Speaker 4: Maybe find me. I could go with the man, Okay, but.

608
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:56,680
Speaker 1: Like I gotta think, I gotta start thinking.

609
00:24:56,880 --> 00:25:00,760
Speaker 4: Gety to sixty, thirty to sixty, yeah kind of range.

610
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:03,600
Speaker 1: Is that way older? Though I like older too.

611
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:07,760
Speaker 4: I want somebody very sure of themselves, successful tall.

612
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:09,159
Speaker 1: I could see you with an older man.

613
00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:12,480
Speaker 4: Actually, first I'm the first wife. No, I'm third wife vibes,

614
00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:13,360
Speaker 4: and then he's my first.

615
00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:15,840
Speaker 1: Husband, especially with like, what's the way you're vibing?

616
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:16,000
Speaker 7: Now?

617
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:17,600
Speaker 1: I know you're dressed to go to the theater, right.

618
00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:18,920
Speaker 4: No, I wear this all the time.

619
00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:22,840
Speaker 5: You never know what's sixty year old man you're gonna

620
00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:24,680
Speaker 5: meet on the streets of New York on his way

621
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:26,200
Speaker 5: home from Wall Street.

622
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,040
Speaker 1: On his way home from his podcast, think about.

623
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:30,640
Speaker 4: What Wall Street was? Oh God, that's my one condition.

624
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:34,920
Speaker 5: No men podcast unless it's something really boring talking about

625
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:35,840
Speaker 5: money management.

626
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:40,360
Speaker 1: Okay, Catherine, money man.

627
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:43,640
Speaker 2: Our next color is Jerry Jerry?

628
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:45,919
Speaker 1: Is is it Jerry Seinfeldt?

629
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:47,480
Speaker 2: It's not Jerry Seigne.

630
00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:48,680
Speaker 1: He's always calling in.

631
00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:52,520
Speaker 2: I can't keep him off the long No Jerry is

632
00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:55,919
Speaker 2: calling in from Chicago, and Jerry uses pronouns fave M.

633
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:59,040
Speaker 2: You're Chelsea. I'm a forty two year old non binary

634
00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:02,080
Speaker 2: gender queer person and assigned mail at birth. But if

635
00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:04,040
Speaker 2: you knew me in my day today, you would only

636
00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:07,000
Speaker 2: know this from my stand up. That's because certain open

637
00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:09,919
Speaker 2: mics are the only place I feel safe dressing or

638
00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:13,440
Speaker 2: acting feminine, probably because I can claim that I'm just joking.

639
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:17,400
Speaker 2: I don't enforce my pronouns at work because after numerous attempts,

640
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:19,879
Speaker 2: I've lost hope. When I see a cute blouse, I

641
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:22,320
Speaker 2: will always talk myself out of buying it, and when

642
00:26:22,359 --> 00:26:24,960
Speaker 2: I do muster the courage to wear quote women's clothes

643
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:27,280
Speaker 2: out of the house, part of me still feels a

644
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:30,640
Speaker 2: little strange. My stand up hobby has been a great

645
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:32,960
Speaker 2: way to cope. I joke that I've always looked like

646
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:34,800
Speaker 2: a daddy but talk like a mommy, and how it

647
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:37,520
Speaker 2: unnecessarily confuses people. But I know this is just a

648
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:40,359
Speaker 2: band aid on the real problem. I hate to admit it,

649
00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:42,639
Speaker 2: but I'm so ready to give up and conform again.

650
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:45,600
Speaker 2: Ever since I had to I don't know, ever since

651
00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:47,439
Speaker 2: I had to stop being a lawyer for my health.

652
00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:50,720
Speaker 2: Confronting anyone about any issue, big or small has triggered

653
00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:53,480
Speaker 2: my fight or flight response, and mine is usually freeze.

654
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:56,159
Speaker 2: And I feel so lonely because the only people my

655
00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:59,400
Speaker 2: age coming out as non binary are celebrities like JVN

656
00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:02,159
Speaker 2: or Sam Smith. If when you wore a jumpsuit in

657
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:04,560
Speaker 2: one of your specials, Chelsea, I bought a jumpsuit tour

658
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:06,960
Speaker 2: to my open mics. Everyone who went up after me

659
00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:09,080
Speaker 2: made fun of it, and I didn't even care because

660
00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:11,080
Speaker 2: I kind of felt like I was channeling your confidence.

661
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:14,040
Speaker 2: Maybe I'm hoping you can work your magic on this problem.

662
00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:17,080
Speaker 2: I honestly don't see a solution to You're devoted, but

663
00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:20,760
Speaker 2: not in a creepy way. Fan Jerry Vevam hi je

664
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:22,920
Speaker 2: Jerry will join us here perfect.

665
00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:28,199
Speaker 1: Oh what a conundrum it is really just it's just

666
00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:30,680
Speaker 1: brutal hew in these streets, I know.

667
00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:33,360
Speaker 3: I mean, it's just so hard to even be what

668
00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:35,639
Speaker 3: people expect of you, and then you want to be

669
00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:37,760
Speaker 3: something that people don't expect, and then you have to

670
00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:41,040
Speaker 3: con You're consumed with what other people think, and I

671
00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:43,679
Speaker 3: hate that. I hate that everyone is so consumed with

672
00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:46,720
Speaker 3: what other people think and how they're going to view

673
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:49,000
Speaker 3: them and how you get rid of that. People are

674
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,159
Speaker 3: always like, how are you so confident? I'm like, I

675
00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:53,880
Speaker 3: don't feel like I'm that confident, but I just I'm

676
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:56,399
Speaker 3: not interested in negative opinions about me.

677
00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:58,440
Speaker 4: Do you ever feel like you might have a sheathe

678
00:27:58,720 --> 00:27:59,320
Speaker 4: in your bio?

679
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:03,240
Speaker 1: Something like that is happening? Wow, something like that.

680
00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:06,520
Speaker 4: Coming out episode? Hi, Jerry, Oh, I love you already.

681
00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:07,880
Speaker 4: I'm Dylan, by the way.

682
00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:09,399
Speaker 1: Dylan Mulvaney's our special guest.

683
00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:13,040
Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah, no, I'm familiar. I've seen your your videos

684
00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:14,280
Speaker 8: on TikTok and really moving.

685
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:15,680
Speaker 1: Okay, talk to us.

686
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:19,639
Speaker 3: So you're feeling pretty like low and not able to

687
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:20,680
Speaker 3: express yourself.

688
00:28:21,040 --> 00:28:25,920
Speaker 8: I can't enjoy being feminine because there's just always like

689
00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:27,400
Speaker 8: a fear attached to it.

690
00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:30,359
Speaker 5: And you did say, you know, you wore that jumpsuit,

691
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:33,560
Speaker 5: which I'm so obsessed with already, But you said that

692
00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:36,080
Speaker 5: other people commented negatively about it.

693
00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:37,600
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, But I.

694
00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:40,640
Speaker 8: Mean that wasn't so much generated so much as like,

695
00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 8: oh yeah, or you off to like construction work or something.

696
00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:45,479
Speaker 4: I think it's iconic.

697
00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:48,479
Speaker 5: My worry for you is that I don't want you

698
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:51,560
Speaker 5: to use stand up as a way to self deprecate

699
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:54,080
Speaker 5: about yourself, because I think a lot of comedy can

700
00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:57,520
Speaker 5: go in that direction, and especially if the crowds you're

701
00:28:57,520 --> 00:29:02,360
Speaker 5: performing for are more of the straight or taurus crowd.

702
00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:04,680
Speaker 5: What I really want you to try to focus on

703
00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:08,680
Speaker 5: is finding those like specifically queer or trans or non

704
00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:12,280
Speaker 5: binary open mics, because that's where you can make, you know,

705
00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:15,040
Speaker 5: light of a situation without having to be the butt

706
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:18,080
Speaker 5: of every single joke. And I got back in a

707
00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:21,080
Speaker 5: stand up recently since I had, you know, transitioned, and

708
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:24,240
Speaker 5: I found myself in these rooms where they were only

709
00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:27,800
Speaker 5: laughing when I was putting myself really down or you know,

710
00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:29,880
Speaker 5: referring back to myself as a gay man or what

711
00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:32,200
Speaker 5: like it. And I think, as much as it might

712
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:35,080
Speaker 5: feel good to get that laugh, I just don't want you,

713
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:38,840
Speaker 5: especially in such a sensitive time where you are truly

714
00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:42,320
Speaker 5: finding your true self, and I don't want it to

715
00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:44,960
Speaker 5: hinder that in any way. I want you to protect yourself.

716
00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:48,360
Speaker 5: And I also I went by day then Pronounce for

717
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:52,240
Speaker 5: about a year and three months before I fully transitioned,

718
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:55,120
Speaker 5: and I just wanted to confirm with you, like it

719
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:58,760
Speaker 5: can be so lonely because people some people just don't

720
00:29:58,800 --> 00:29:59,080
Speaker 5: get it.

721
00:29:59,320 --> 00:29:59,719
Speaker 4: What do you think.

722
00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:04,640
Speaker 1: I think that you have to I understand and I can't.

723
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:07,440
Speaker 3: You know, I haven't been through this myself, but I

724
00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:11,800
Speaker 3: think it's really important to have strong conversations with yourself

725
00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:15,000
Speaker 3: every single day about who you are and what you're

726
00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:16,840
Speaker 3: putting out there, you know what I mean, so that

727
00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:20,480
Speaker 3: you have confidence in your decision making and that other

728
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:22,920
Speaker 3: people aren't having such an impact on the way that

729
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:27,240
Speaker 3: you feel about yourself. You're not looking for their validation.

730
00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:31,080
Speaker 3: You have the desire to express your feminine side that

731
00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:33,080
Speaker 3: has nothing really to do with any of them, and

732
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:36,080
Speaker 3: if they don't like it, that's also not your problem.

733
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:38,000
Speaker 3: You need to go where the light is, you know

734
00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:40,040
Speaker 3: what I mean, like the people that love you, the

735
00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:42,800
Speaker 3: people that understand you, and when you're on stage. I

736
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:44,880
Speaker 3: agree with what Dylan said, Listen, a lot of comedy

737
00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:47,840
Speaker 3: is self deprecating. I'm self deprecating, but I think it's

738
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:51,640
Speaker 3: important to recognize the difference between making fun of yourself

739
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:55,160
Speaker 3: to fit in versus making fun of yourself because.

740
00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:57,560
Speaker 5: You already love that part of yourself and it's safe

741
00:30:57,880 --> 00:30:59,479
Speaker 5: territory to make light of.

742
00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:03,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, it seems like you're missing a chunk of self love,

743
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:05,960
Speaker 3: and if I were going to give you any advice,

744
00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:09,360
Speaker 3: I would say to fill yourself up every single day

745
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:12,320
Speaker 3: before you leave the house, whether that's with like affirmations,

746
00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:15,720
Speaker 3: a gratitude journal, or looking in the mirror and telling

747
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:18,200
Speaker 3: yourself that you're a fucking rock star, that you're beautiful,

748
00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:21,320
Speaker 3: that you're kind, that you're capable, and that you're intelligent.

749
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:25,560
Speaker 3: And keep having these ongoing conversations with yourself because I know, Dylan,

750
00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:27,960
Speaker 3: you had to do that for a very long time too.

751
00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:31,280
Speaker 5: Oh, it can be so lonely and still, you know,

752
00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:34,160
Speaker 5: Like I think what was sad was when I did

753
00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:37,360
Speaker 5: transition back onto the binary. In some ways, it was

754
00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:39,760
Speaker 5: like a little bit of relief because people at least

755
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:42,680
Speaker 5: knew where to put me or what you know, where

756
00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:46,120
Speaker 5: to slot me. And just don't give into that pressure

757
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:50,480
Speaker 5: right now, because I want you to put yourself in spaces,

758
00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:55,160
Speaker 5: whether that's queer bars or open mics or meetup groups,

759
00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:58,440
Speaker 5: activities that like you know one hundred percent that the

760
00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:01,480
Speaker 5: people there are going to honor your puns, They're going

761
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:05,600
Speaker 5: to complement your fun, feminine outfits. Find someone to go

762
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:08,480
Speaker 5: shopping with that you feel really safe and is going

763
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:11,239
Speaker 5: to like make you feel euphoric. I know dating can

764
00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:15,400
Speaker 5: also be really tricky, but you've got to oh my gosh, honey,

765
00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:19,240
Speaker 5: I don't I fucking know it. And you have to

766
00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:24,280
Speaker 5: right now prioritize your identity and not your comedy career,

767
00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:28,880
Speaker 5: not relationships, not And this is your time to really explore,

768
00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:32,600
Speaker 5: because if you don't go all the way into whatever

769
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:35,600
Speaker 5: it is you're interested in or what you are looking

770
00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:38,000
Speaker 5: to find, you might shut yourself off from a lot

771
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:38,880
Speaker 5: of beautiful things.

772
00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:41,280
Speaker 1: Do you have a small community there in Chicago that's

773
00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:42,240
Speaker 1: separate from your work?

774
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:45,560
Speaker 4: Not really, I need to look harder.

775
00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:48,080
Speaker 5: Right I think it can be expensive, but I know

776
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:51,800
Speaker 5: Second City and the Groundlings, and you know, there's a

777
00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:55,440
Speaker 5: bunch of comedy theaters there that have a bunch of classes,

778
00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:58,520
Speaker 5: and I imagine that they attract some queer folks. And

779
00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:02,560
Speaker 5: although that's not, you know, necessarily a queer meetup by

780
00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:04,880
Speaker 5: any means, I do think that there might be some

781
00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:07,560
Speaker 5: really cool, safe people there to get to know, and

782
00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:10,320
Speaker 5: especially like you might not need group therapy, but I

783
00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:12,840
Speaker 5: think a group laugh can be a great thing.

784
00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:15,560
Speaker 2: I would like to ask one piece of advice on

785
00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:18,320
Speaker 2: behalf of Jerry, so as far as like the outfit

786
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:22,440
Speaker 2: goes right, Jerry is you know, channeling Chelsea and while

787
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:25,240
Speaker 2: wearing like a Chelsea type outbit with the jumpsuit. But

788
00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:28,880
Speaker 2: is there a way that Jerry can preempt those sorts

789
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:31,000
Speaker 2: of jokes when they do come up and sort of

790
00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:34,040
Speaker 2: like talk about how they look fabulous, like before anybody

791
00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:36,280
Speaker 2: else comes up and makes a big deal about it.

792
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:39,080
Speaker 3: I have a friend, a comedian friend named Michael Folk

793
00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:41,760
Speaker 3: who dresses like he likes to dress like a woman,

794
00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:44,680
Speaker 3: and he goes by they them he's non binary, and

795
00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:46,560
Speaker 3: he sometimes wears dresses sometimes.

796
00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:47,960
Speaker 4: They like to wear dresses.

797
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:50,960
Speaker 3: They like to wear dresses, Thank you. They like to

798
00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:55,479
Speaker 3: wear dresses, and they have a great attitude about it

799
00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:57,800
Speaker 3: because it's just part of who they are. They're not

800
00:33:57,920 --> 00:34:02,080
Speaker 3: ever explaining themselves, and if anyone does probe or lean in,

801
00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:06,440
Speaker 3: they're just like there's no question, Like there's such a

802
00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:10,800
Speaker 3: confidence about what they're doing that there's no question And

803
00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:13,760
Speaker 3: it doesn't matter because you can't be doing this looking

804
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:17,040
Speaker 3: for everybody's approval. It's outside of a lot of people's

805
00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:20,400
Speaker 3: comfort zones. Again, that is not your problem. That is

806
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:23,000
Speaker 3: their problem. That is their issue. Let people figure out

807
00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:25,279
Speaker 3: how they're going to talk to you, you know, and

808
00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:28,839
Speaker 3: you can't expect everybody to like fall in place with

809
00:34:28,920 --> 00:34:31,120
Speaker 3: what you know how you want to identify, because it's

810
00:34:31,120 --> 00:34:32,040
Speaker 3: so out of touch with them.

811
00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:35,480
Speaker 1: But you have every right to identify however you want.

812
00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:39,280
Speaker 3: So you've got to like really instill in yourself whatever

813
00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:42,479
Speaker 3: confidence you were able to come up with, to say,

814
00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:44,799
Speaker 3: this is who I am, this is what I'm gonna do,

815
00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:46,320
Speaker 3: and you're gonna either love.

816
00:34:46,239 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 1: Me or you're gonna hate me, and neither one of

817
00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:49,320
Speaker 1: those things are my problem.

818
00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:50,360
Speaker 4: Amen.

819
00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:53,839
Speaker 3: And I think when you really do lean into who

820
00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:57,080
Speaker 3: you are and what your desires are, there is a

821
00:34:57,239 --> 00:35:02,360
Speaker 3: magnetic field that you kind of create around you that

822
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:06,120
Speaker 3: attracts like minded people because you're living out loud in

823
00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:06,919
Speaker 3: a brave way.

824
00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:10,120
Speaker 5: Yes, And when you start vetting some of those people out,

825
00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:12,600
Speaker 5: I think that makes room for the good ones to

826
00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:15,520
Speaker 5: come in because what I did early on were I

827
00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:18,840
Speaker 5: could you can sometimes just tell when people you know

828
00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:21,600
Speaker 5: are if they're not catching up with your pronouns after

829
00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:24,279
Speaker 5: you know, months of years of knowing you, or if

830
00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:27,840
Speaker 5: they're making snide comments about your outfits or whatever that

831
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:32,040
Speaker 5: might be. That's when you start hitting the sort of

832
00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:35,399
Speaker 5: do not disturb button on that friendship because that then

833
00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:37,880
Speaker 5: expands for more people to come in.

834
00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:40,799
Speaker 3: Absolutely, I believe that to be true for sure. It's

835
00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:43,759
Speaker 3: about creating your own magnetic field. And the more you

836
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:45,920
Speaker 3: are true to yourself, the more you shine, the more

837
00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:49,160
Speaker 3: abuiliant you can be. I know I had to throw

838
00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:51,319
Speaker 3: that in there because it's really the right descriptor. You know,

839
00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:53,239
Speaker 3: you want to be a ball all of light, like.

840
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:56,080
Speaker 4: Teach people how to treat you right.

841
00:35:56,120 --> 00:35:59,160
Speaker 5: Even I remember with my family, you know, we took

842
00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:00,800
Speaker 5: a little bit of time. I'm a part and I

843
00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:03,719
Speaker 5: had to have some real tough conversations, but they got

844
00:36:03,719 --> 00:36:06,000
Speaker 5: it when they realized how important these things were.

845
00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:10,040
Speaker 3: To huh and again, and this is repetitive, which I'm

846
00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:14,080
Speaker 3: very good at. You can't rely on other people's reactions

847
00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:16,840
Speaker 3: to you to fill your cup up. That is not

848
00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:19,439
Speaker 3: how you get your cup filled. That is an inside job.

849
00:36:19,680 --> 00:36:22,279
Speaker 3: You have to fulfill yourself. You have to fill yourself up.

850
00:36:22,719 --> 00:36:24,600
Speaker 3: I mean sometimes you can have somebody fill you up.

851
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:27,480
Speaker 3: Hopefully one day's time that will happen for you. And

852
00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:31,000
Speaker 3: I love to get filled up. But on this notion,

853
00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:34,960
Speaker 3: it is it is a you know, it's your self employed.

854
00:36:35,080 --> 00:36:36,960
Speaker 3: You have to take care of your own happiness, and

855
00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:40,040
Speaker 3: once you have that, then nobody can take that from you,

856
00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:42,520
Speaker 3: no matter what their reactions. Do you are and no

857
00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:45,279
Speaker 3: matter what their judgment is. And the more comfortable you

858
00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:48,640
Speaker 3: are with yourself, the more uncomfortable people become around you.

859
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:52,920
Speaker 3: What she said, Okay, problem solved. Problem solved.

860
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:56,920
Speaker 2: Well, we have another color joining us shortly, and we

861
00:36:56,960 --> 00:36:59,520
Speaker 2: had a bit of a curveball. This coller is l K?

862
00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:02,440
Speaker 1: Is that el King? Is she calling in again from

863
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:03,600
Speaker 1: her last episode?

864
00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:05,200
Speaker 2: I mean, I wouldn't put it past her.

865
00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:07,240
Speaker 3: I love el King. She and I have been texting,

866
00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:10,239
Speaker 3: have you? Oh yeah, yeah, I'd like her attitude. She's

867
00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:13,280
Speaker 3: a country so she was on the podcast last year.

868
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:16,759
Speaker 2: Elk says, I'm a thirty seven year old divorce This

869
00:37:16,840 --> 00:37:19,120
Speaker 2: takes a turn, so stick with me here. I'm a

870
00:37:19,160 --> 00:37:22,239
Speaker 2: thirty seven year old divorce lesbian living in Alabama. I've

871
00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:24,880
Speaker 2: managed Mede, a lovely woman by Happenstance, who is in

872
00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:28,040
Speaker 2: all regards a ten. We've become fast friends and I'm

873
00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:31,080
Speaker 2: digging the friendship. But damn am I into her? I

874
00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:33,320
Speaker 2: find myself stumbling over my words and acting like a

875
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:36,360
Speaker 2: child with a crush. This is not normal territory for me.

876
00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:39,080
Speaker 2: I'm usually much more confident and direct, but this woman

877
00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:41,480
Speaker 2: is special. I know she had a tough breakup and

878
00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:43,560
Speaker 2: maybe the last year, and I also know when we

879
00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:46,120
Speaker 2: met in February she mentioned she hasn't been interested in

880
00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:49,480
Speaker 2: dating since the breakup. What do I do continue building

881
00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:52,120
Speaker 2: the friendship or make my intentions known while I ruin

882
00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:54,080
Speaker 2: the friendship? If I tell her my feelings and she's

883
00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:56,160
Speaker 2: not feeling it, I just don't know what to do.

884
00:37:56,680 --> 00:37:59,240
Speaker 2: And then so el K reached out today and said

885
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:01,120
Speaker 2: she's had a bun stuff kind of come up in

886
00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:03,359
Speaker 2: therapy and this is like still sort of a part

887
00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:05,640
Speaker 2: of her story, but is taking a bit of a

888
00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:07,680
Speaker 2: back seat. So I thought we could talk a little

889
00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:10,600
Speaker 2: bit about multiple things kind of going on in our

890
00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:13,760
Speaker 2: lives at once. But Elk says, I wrote in about

891
00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:15,480
Speaker 2: having a crush and I looked forward to talking to

892
00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:18,239
Speaker 2: you about that. However, since first writing in, I've had

893
00:38:18,239 --> 00:38:21,160
Speaker 2: some major developments in therapy, one of them being a

894
00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:24,040
Speaker 2: slow uncovering of childhood trauma. I've lost both my parents

895
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:27,200
Speaker 2: since twenty twenty, and my last grandparent passed last month.

896
00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:29,640
Speaker 2: I'm unsure if part of me was protecting the elders

897
00:38:29,680 --> 00:38:31,719
Speaker 2: in my life. But it seems something in my brain

898
00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:35,280
Speaker 2: unlocked after my grandmother passed. How do I maintain my job,

899
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:38,280
Speaker 2: myself and my sanity as I work through these muddy waters.

900
00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:42,040
Speaker 2: Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, Elka, so a

901
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:42,760
Speaker 2: lot to unpack.

902
00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:47,520
Speaker 1: Hi father, Hi ay, Hi cutie?

903
00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:49,040
Speaker 4: How are you fucking handler?

904
00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:50,080
Speaker 1: And good are you.

905
00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:53,359
Speaker 4: Fucking lover?

906
00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:55,840
Speaker 1: This is Dylan mulvaney, our special guest today.

907
00:38:56,120 --> 00:39:01,000
Speaker 4: Ah Hi Lka nas, nice to meet you.

908
00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:04,040
Speaker 3: Nice to meet you too. What a beautiful big smile

909
00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:05,960
Speaker 3: you have on your face. I love it.

910
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:07,120
Speaker 1: Thank you.

911
00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:09,839
Speaker 3: First of all, what's going on with the girl? Are

912
00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:12,680
Speaker 3: you still just totally took a back seat.

913
00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:15,080
Speaker 6: I mean she's a friend and I was looking forward

914
00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:16,600
Speaker 6: to talking to you about that. I was kind of

915
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:19,040
Speaker 6: in that like giddy, like you know, I felt like

916
00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:23,040
Speaker 6: a little kid, like just kind of tickled. And then

917
00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:26,000
Speaker 6: it was like I'm in therapy, like working on some

918
00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:28,719
Speaker 6: stuff and just like out of nowhere, therapy just like

919
00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:31,600
Speaker 6: hit me like a truck and was like, no, you

920
00:39:31,719 --> 00:39:33,480
Speaker 6: got more important things to think about.

921
00:39:34,320 --> 00:39:37,239
Speaker 3: Okay, Well this is all good, okay, because this is

922
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:37,640
Speaker 3: all good.

923
00:39:37,640 --> 00:39:39,359
Speaker 1: It's better that therapy took a front seat.

924
00:39:39,400 --> 00:39:41,799
Speaker 3: That's a good sign because it is it needs to

925
00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:45,400
Speaker 3: take a front seat before any real, normal, healthy relationships happen.

926
00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:49,480
Speaker 3: Therapy is the is what you do to have normal, healthy,

927
00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:54,280
Speaker 3: happy relationships. Especially well, let me say this, I think

928
00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:56,799
Speaker 3: that when you're with the second question you asked, which is,

929
00:39:56,800 --> 00:39:59,040
Speaker 3: how do you remain connected to your work and be

930
00:39:59,120 --> 00:40:02,000
Speaker 3: productive and and be engaged in all the things that

931
00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:05,960
Speaker 3: life requires from you while you're going through therapy. And

932
00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:10,280
Speaker 3: the answer to that is easily, because you are doing

933
00:40:10,320 --> 00:40:12,759
Speaker 3: the work that that is going to make you an

934
00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:16,600
Speaker 3: even more whole person and an even more healthy person.

935
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:19,000
Speaker 3: So all of these things that you have going on

936
00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:22,319
Speaker 3: while you're going to therapy actually complement your therapy because

937
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:25,520
Speaker 3: you're doing it while you're facing all of your responsibilities.

938
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:27,520
Speaker 3: And while so all of it is good, you can

939
00:40:27,560 --> 00:40:29,719
Speaker 3: do all of it at the same time. Therapy is

940
00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:31,959
Speaker 3: not meant to like you're supposed to take two years

941
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:34,480
Speaker 3: off from life. I mean only people can do that,

942
00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:37,560
Speaker 3: you know, like I did that because you know why.

943
00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:40,120
Speaker 1: But you know what I mean, that's not really nice.

944
00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:47,520
Speaker 3: That's awesome, but yeah, not relatable, not relatable at all.

945
00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:53,719
Speaker 3: But really, but but the other great thing about going

946
00:40:53,719 --> 00:40:55,880
Speaker 3: to therapy while you're living your life is that you

947
00:40:55,920 --> 00:40:59,359
Speaker 3: can integrate your therapy and what you learn into your

948
00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:02,439
Speaker 3: life in real time. Whereas I took two years off

949
00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:04,160
Speaker 3: just to go to therapy and travel.

950
00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:04,960
Speaker 1: So when I was.

951
00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:07,000
Speaker 3: Done with therapy, I'm like, how do I match all

952
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:09,279
Speaker 3: of this stuff into my life when I'm working? So

953
00:41:09,360 --> 00:41:12,640
Speaker 3: you actually have an advantage that you don't even really see, sure,

954
00:41:12,719 --> 00:41:16,680
Speaker 3: because you're going to be incorporating the things you learn

955
00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:18,759
Speaker 3: as you're living your life in a real way.

956
00:41:19,120 --> 00:41:25,399
Speaker 1: Sure, sure going to therapy weekly? Like yeah, do miss right? Well,

957
00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:26,480
Speaker 1: no don't you shouldn't.

958
00:41:26,520 --> 00:41:29,200
Speaker 3: I mean hopefully you know you'll go and then at

959
00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:31,719
Speaker 3: a certain point you'll be like, Okay, you know, I

960
00:41:31,719 --> 00:41:34,760
Speaker 3: can take a break or I'm ready for a relationship.

961
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:38,560
Speaker 3: It also sounds very healthy that you recognized that this

962
00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:42,280
Speaker 3: crush you had is not as important as you dealing

963
00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:43,480
Speaker 3: with your childhood issues.

964
00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:45,040
Speaker 1: Yeah that's healthy.

965
00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:47,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, because if you were more still focused on that

966
00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:49,319
Speaker 3: while you were doing this, it would mean that you

967
00:41:49,520 --> 00:41:51,279
Speaker 3: had your priorities a little bit out of whack.

968
00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:52,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was.

969
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:54,880
Speaker 6: I was focused on the kind of the stuff that

970
00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:56,719
Speaker 6: was coming up, and I was like, oh, ships talked

971
00:41:56,719 --> 00:42:00,840
Speaker 6: with Chelsea Handler about a crush. I don't want to

972
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:03,320
Speaker 6: come out to Chelsea, but it doesn't feel as important

973
00:42:03,320 --> 00:42:03,960
Speaker 6: to talk about.

974
00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:07,880
Speaker 3: I think sometimes people make up problems to call in.

975
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:10,319
Speaker 3: They're like, uh, what color should I paint my I'm

976
00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:10,760
Speaker 3: like what?

977
00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:14,600
Speaker 4: And did you do? You just lost some loved ones too.

978
00:42:15,160 --> 00:42:18,440
Speaker 6: Yeah, I lost my mom in twenty twenty and my

979
00:42:18,560 --> 00:42:19,920
Speaker 6: dad in twenty twenty two.

980
00:42:20,280 --> 00:42:21,560
Speaker 4: I'm so sorry for your loss.

981
00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:25,080
Speaker 5: I think that thank you know, while you're navigating the

982
00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:28,200
Speaker 5: grief and the new sort of therapy of it all,

983
00:42:28,440 --> 00:42:30,280
Speaker 5: I still want you to be able to find the joy,

984
00:42:30,719 --> 00:42:33,799
Speaker 5: because sometimes we go zero to one hundred, especially in

985
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:37,719
Speaker 5: something that's so intense as mental health can be, and

986
00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:40,400
Speaker 5: we go in that direction, we forget to be silly,

987
00:42:40,440 --> 00:42:43,000
Speaker 5: we forget to be in love, we forget to treat

988
00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:47,640
Speaker 5: ourselves to the frivolous things. So I actually am kind

989
00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:51,960
Speaker 5: of pro you still, you know, maybe not as heavily

990
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:54,719
Speaker 5: engaging a crush, but sometimes having a crush is really

991
00:42:54,719 --> 00:42:56,919
Speaker 5: fun and can kind of help you take your mind

992
00:42:56,920 --> 00:43:00,279
Speaker 5: off serious things and not to disassociate and put all

993
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:02,799
Speaker 5: your eggs in that basket. But I like to think

994
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:05,120
Speaker 5: of dating kind of as like an iPhone game, well

995
00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:07,920
Speaker 5: because so much of it is, you know, swiping, but

996
00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:10,319
Speaker 5: you know, just that thing that I'm like, oh, I

997
00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:12,360
Speaker 5: don't have that much. You know, i already did my

998
00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:14,280
Speaker 5: therapy for the day, I've already had a good cry.

999
00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:16,680
Speaker 5: What can we do next? Let's try to fuck someone.

1000
00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:19,400
Speaker 5: But I actually wanted to ask you. I wanted to

1001
00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:21,799
Speaker 5: ask you about this friendship thing because I've been in

1002
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:24,840
Speaker 5: that situation too, where you know you're you're friends with

1003
00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:27,319
Speaker 5: someone and you think, oh, maybe this could be more,

1004
00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:29,480
Speaker 5: but it can be a little awkward about trying to

1005
00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:32,480
Speaker 5: get there. Do you think there's are you the kind

1006
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:35,960
Speaker 5: of person that would be willing to, you know, say something,

1007
00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:38,160
Speaker 5: or do you think you would need a really clear sign?

1008
00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:40,120
Speaker 1: I think I would need.

1009
00:43:40,600 --> 00:43:43,480
Speaker 6: I mean, I don't have any problems being direcked. But

1010
00:43:43,560 --> 00:43:45,279
Speaker 6: at the same time, it was the first time, like

1011
00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:48,200
Speaker 6: in my adulthood, where I got kind of like like

1012
00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:50,560
Speaker 6: that giddy just like kind of stupid.

1013
00:43:51,120 --> 00:43:53,840
Speaker 3: You know, the best, the best feeling in the world

1014
00:43:54,320 --> 00:43:56,879
Speaker 3: is that is really truly just like.

1015
00:43:56,880 --> 00:43:59,000
Speaker 6: I am now, I'm just bumbling over my words, just

1016
00:43:59,000 --> 00:43:59,319
Speaker 6: like I.

1017
00:43:59,320 --> 00:44:02,360
Speaker 4: Don't know you don't want to. You don't want to

1018
00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:04,200
Speaker 4: ruin the friendship. So what do you what do you

1019
00:44:04,239 --> 00:44:06,799
Speaker 4: say to somebody who like, well, what is the what

1020
00:44:06,920 --> 00:44:07,399
Speaker 4: is the vibe?

1021
00:44:07,440 --> 00:44:09,359
Speaker 3: Break it down a little bit more specifically, what has

1022
00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:10,680
Speaker 3: been been the vibe of late?

1023
00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:14,120
Speaker 6: We don't live in the same town, so I haven't

1024
00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:16,600
Speaker 6: hung out with her in person, and so I mean

1025
00:44:16,960 --> 00:44:20,880
Speaker 6: it's a newer friend. I don't think she doesn't strike

1026
00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:24,080
Speaker 6: me as really interested in anything right now, not just

1027
00:44:24,120 --> 00:44:25,480
Speaker 6: with me, but like in general.

1028
00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:28,399
Speaker 1: But I don't know if I'm reading that wrong or not.

1029
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:31,200
Speaker 3: Well, I think that I think the important takeaway from

1030
00:44:31,239 --> 00:44:34,680
Speaker 3: this is you're getting yourself healthy and you're creating like

1031
00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:37,400
Speaker 3: a better version of you that that will be like

1032
00:44:37,480 --> 00:44:40,160
Speaker 3: the a net result after this therapy. It's gonna make

1033
00:44:40,160 --> 00:44:42,799
Speaker 3: you sexier, it's gonna make you everything better, and you're

1034
00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:44,800
Speaker 3: gonna and then you're gonna be in a better place

1035
00:44:44,880 --> 00:44:46,520
Speaker 3: and maybe she'll be in a different place and you

1036
00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:48,640
Speaker 3: can pursue that down the road. But I think your

1037
00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:51,600
Speaker 3: focal point should just be you right now. And it

1038
00:44:51,640 --> 00:44:54,600
Speaker 3: sounds like you're doing that and that's that's only good.

1039
00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:56,799
Speaker 3: That is only good. Nothing bad is going to come

1040
00:44:56,800 --> 00:44:59,320
Speaker 3: out of that you're gonna get through your therapy sessions.

1041
00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:00,959
Speaker 3: Some are going to be true and some are gonna

1042
00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:03,240
Speaker 3: be less tricky, but you're gonna go through the gamut

1043
00:45:03,280 --> 00:45:05,479
Speaker 3: of emotions and when you come out on the other side,

1044
00:45:05,480 --> 00:45:07,799
Speaker 3: you're gonna be a better person. You're gonna be a better,

1045
00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:10,520
Speaker 3: fuller version of yourself. And and I love that you

1046
00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:12,920
Speaker 3: said you're direct. Most people can't fucking be direct, so

1047
00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:14,480
Speaker 3: great you have that advantage too.

1048
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:17,200
Speaker 1: I'm an m eatee too, so you could just.

1049
00:45:17,160 --> 00:45:18,840
Speaker 3: Go up to her and be like, I like pussy?

1050
00:45:18,880 --> 00:45:22,239
Speaker 3: Do you like mine? You know, it's simple when the

1051
00:45:22,280 --> 00:45:22,879
Speaker 3: time is right.

1052
00:45:23,040 --> 00:45:24,200
Speaker 4: You ever said that to someone?

1053
00:45:24,280 --> 00:45:26,480
Speaker 1: Do I like pussy? Do I? Do you like pussy?

1054
00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:33,160
Speaker 4: Do you like mine? Said very I said it like

1055
00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:34,239
Speaker 4: it wasn't the first time.

1056
00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:40,399
Speaker 5: It's all I'm saying, Okay, you want pussy, go get it.

1057
00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:44,960
Speaker 4: Oh fuck, my mom can't listen to this one.

1058
00:45:45,360 --> 00:45:47,440
Speaker 1: I was just thinking about my sisters. I was like,

1059
00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:50,320
Speaker 1: they're gonna be anyway.

1060
00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:53,160
Speaker 3: You're a You're a love, You're a joyful and happy

1061
00:45:53,200 --> 00:45:55,240
Speaker 3: and I'm happy for you and you're gonna be fine.

1062
00:45:55,360 --> 00:45:57,600
Speaker 1: And yeah, keep doing what you're doing.

1063
00:45:58,040 --> 00:46:02,839
Speaker 6: Thanks Chelsea, Love you Okay, love you, thanks so much.

1064
00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:08,759
Speaker 1: Oh cute. Her accent reminds me a fortune themestir.

1065
00:46:08,719 --> 00:46:09,319
Speaker 4: I love it.

1066
00:46:10,960 --> 00:46:13,239
Speaker 2: Well, let's take a quick break and we can wrap

1067
00:46:13,320 --> 00:46:14,080
Speaker 2: up with a quickie.

1068
00:46:14,200 --> 00:46:16,520
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, take a break and we'll be right back

1069
00:46:16,560 --> 00:46:18,240
Speaker 3: to wrap up with Dylan mulvaney.

1070
00:46:22,040 --> 00:46:26,280
Speaker 2: And we're back, are back, So one last little question

1071
00:46:26,560 --> 00:46:30,200
Speaker 2: to wrap up. Kara is in her thirties and she

1072
00:46:30,320 --> 00:46:33,600
Speaker 2: writes in and says, Dear Chelsea, A situation I've been

1073
00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:35,840
Speaker 2: dealing with lately is one of my best friends is

1074
00:46:35,880 --> 00:46:39,440
Speaker 2: single and longing for someone special. I'm newly married, so

1075
00:46:39,480 --> 00:46:42,040
Speaker 2: it's difficult for me to give dating advice without sounding

1076
00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:44,879
Speaker 2: lame and tone deaf. I remember being the only one

1077
00:46:44,880 --> 00:46:47,240
Speaker 2: of my single friends before I met my now husband,

1078
00:46:47,400 --> 00:46:52,640
Speaker 2: surrounded by married friends constantly hearing don't worry, you'll find someone. Honestly,

1079
00:46:52,719 --> 00:46:54,960
Speaker 2: it got annoying after a while, and it didn't help.

1080
00:46:55,560 --> 00:46:57,040
Speaker 2: I do not want to come off that way to

1081
00:46:57,120 --> 00:46:59,200
Speaker 2: my friend and want to support her in any way

1082
00:46:59,239 --> 00:47:01,920
Speaker 2: while she looks for quote the one my friend is

1083
00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:04,120
Speaker 2: one of the coolest people I have ever met. We're

1084
00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:06,560
Speaker 2: both out doorsy and she does pottery and other art

1085
00:47:06,600 --> 00:47:10,040
Speaker 2: and is incredibly talented. Most importantly, she has a huge

1086
00:47:10,080 --> 00:47:12,360
Speaker 2: heart that I know would be appreciated by the right person.

1087
00:47:12,719 --> 00:47:15,080
Speaker 2: She's been going on dates that seem promising at first,

1088
00:47:15,160 --> 00:47:17,280
Speaker 2: and then after a couple dates, they end up acting weird,

1089
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:19,880
Speaker 2: and I think it's discouraged her quite a bit. She

1090
00:47:19,920 --> 00:47:22,200
Speaker 2: always asks what's wrong with her when it isn't her

1091
00:47:22,239 --> 00:47:25,400
Speaker 2: at all. It's just men being men. It takes everything

1092
00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:27,360
Speaker 2: in me to stop myself from finding these men and

1093
00:47:27,360 --> 00:47:29,280
Speaker 2: beating the shit out of them for being so stupid

1094
00:47:29,280 --> 00:47:31,759
Speaker 2: and hurting one of the best people I know. I

1095
00:47:31,800 --> 00:47:33,400
Speaker 2: don't want her to give up when I know she

1096
00:47:33,440 --> 00:47:36,000
Speaker 2: wants a partner for life and a family. If any

1097
00:47:36,040 --> 00:47:37,799
Speaker 2: of your listeners happen to be a straight man who

1098
00:47:37,880 --> 00:47:40,400
Speaker 2: loves art, the outdoors, and who isn't an asshole, then

1099
00:47:40,440 --> 00:47:42,880
Speaker 2: do I have the woman for you? Until then? What

1100
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:45,520
Speaker 2: advice would you give my friend if you were me, Kara.

1101
00:47:46,400 --> 00:47:48,879
Speaker 3: It doesn't have to be that kind of pat that's

1102
00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:51,400
Speaker 3: so meaningless to be like, you're going to find your person,

1103
00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:52,560
Speaker 3: You're going to find someone.

1104
00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:54,040
Speaker 1: There's so nothing in that.

1105
00:47:54,600 --> 00:47:57,520
Speaker 3: What I think is is just to keep motivating your

1106
00:47:57,520 --> 00:48:00,160
Speaker 3: friend to keep trying to keep going out there. To

1107
00:48:00,520 --> 00:48:02,759
Speaker 3: meet men that you might think are appropriate for her,

1108
00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:04,440
Speaker 3: or if you do meet a guy that you're like,

1109
00:48:04,480 --> 00:48:07,440
Speaker 3: oh wait, actually do it and encourage your other friends,

1110
00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:09,480
Speaker 3: if you have other friends in your friend group, to

1111
00:48:09,560 --> 00:48:12,200
Speaker 3: do the same for her in supporting her to meet

1112
00:48:12,239 --> 00:48:14,200
Speaker 3: that guy. I know, whenever my friends try to set

1113
00:48:14,239 --> 00:48:17,360
Speaker 3: me up, I find I'm I well, actually, let me

1114
00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:20,040
Speaker 3: take that back. Some of my friends when they want

1115
00:48:20,040 --> 00:48:23,279
Speaker 3: to set me up my good, close friends, then that's

1116
00:48:23,320 --> 00:48:25,960
Speaker 3: okay because they know me well enough and they are

1117
00:48:26,040 --> 00:48:27,880
Speaker 3: close friends, and you have every right just to be

1118
00:48:27,920 --> 00:48:31,040
Speaker 3: as encouraging and as uppy as possible about it.

1119
00:48:31,080 --> 00:48:33,759
Speaker 5: And I loved that she even pitched her friends, you know,

1120
00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:36,239
Speaker 5: her friend to people. She's like, if anybody's looking, now,

1121
00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:37,719
Speaker 5: that's a cool friend, right, that's so.

1122
00:48:37,880 --> 00:48:39,480
Speaker 4: That right there is the energy.

1123
00:48:39,760 --> 00:48:42,840
Speaker 5: My favorite thing when like a friend of mine, I

1124
00:48:42,880 --> 00:48:44,720
Speaker 5: don't love the whole you're gonna find someone.

1125
00:48:44,960 --> 00:48:47,400
Speaker 4: I love the how the fuck are you still single?

1126
00:48:47,480 --> 00:48:48,560
Speaker 4: Like that's fucking crazy.

1127
00:48:48,760 --> 00:48:51,719
Speaker 5: I like when there's sort of this energy of like, well,

1128
00:48:51,719 --> 00:48:53,840
Speaker 5: that's just fucking why, Like because I do that a

1129
00:48:53,840 --> 00:48:55,480
Speaker 5: lot with them, my other single friends, where.

1130
00:48:55,320 --> 00:48:56,600
Speaker 4: It's like how is this possible?

1131
00:48:56,760 --> 00:49:00,279
Speaker 5: Like we're so hot and fun and so maybe kind

1132
00:49:00,280 --> 00:49:02,880
Speaker 5: of like leaning into that a little bit, you know,

1133
00:49:03,080 --> 00:49:07,960
Speaker 5: build her confidence up in herself, in her personality and

1134
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:11,480
Speaker 5: her looks, and make her feel like the fullest version

1135
00:49:11,480 --> 00:49:14,439
Speaker 5: of herself as a friend, rather than putting so much

1136
00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:17,200
Speaker 5: emphasis on the what she's.

1137
00:49:16,960 --> 00:49:18,719
Speaker 4: Going to be like when she has a relationship.

1138
00:49:18,880 --> 00:49:21,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, and and making it dating fun and being an

1139
00:49:21,680 --> 00:49:24,680
Speaker 3: energetic Like when you look at the subject matter of dating,

1140
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:27,840
Speaker 3: it can be depleting if you have that attitude, it

1141
00:49:27,880 --> 00:49:30,600
Speaker 3: can be exhausting, right, or it could be fun and

1142
00:49:30,719 --> 00:49:34,239
Speaker 3: hopeful and happy. And I think as a friend, you

1143
00:49:34,280 --> 00:49:36,719
Speaker 3: sound like you really care about your friend. So you're

1144
00:49:36,800 --> 00:49:38,880
Speaker 3: the person to keep her bolstered up, you know what

1145
00:49:38,960 --> 00:49:42,480
Speaker 3: I mean, keep her going and and be energized when

1146
00:49:42,480 --> 00:49:44,960
Speaker 3: she's on a date. And if it's disappointing, okay, that's okay,

1147
00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:45,799
Speaker 3: Well that's out of the way.

1148
00:49:45,880 --> 00:49:47,000
Speaker 1: Let's get to the next one.

1149
00:49:47,120 --> 00:49:48,919
Speaker 3: The more people she says no to or that say

1150
00:49:48,920 --> 00:49:50,640
Speaker 3: no to her, the closer she is to finding the

1151
00:49:50,680 --> 00:49:52,200
Speaker 3: person that she is going to want to spend more

1152
00:49:52,200 --> 00:49:55,799
Speaker 3: time with. So I think she's very very lucky to

1153
00:49:55,800 --> 00:49:57,520
Speaker 3: have a friend like you, and you can just be

1154
00:49:57,640 --> 00:50:00,600
Speaker 3: an even better friend by helping her through this and

1155
00:50:00,600 --> 00:50:03,080
Speaker 3: not looking at her being single as some sort of

1156
00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:06,520
Speaker 3: losing a game. There's benefits to being single and being

1157
00:50:06,520 --> 00:50:09,400
Speaker 3: in this phase looking for your love too. This is

1158
00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:12,279
Speaker 3: an exciting part while you're looking. It's like, you know,

1159
00:50:12,440 --> 00:50:15,000
Speaker 3: enjoy the journey, not the result of the journey. That's

1160
00:50:15,080 --> 00:50:17,400
Speaker 3: kind of hard to do when you don't understand or

1161
00:50:17,440 --> 00:50:20,359
Speaker 3: you haven't been through it and understand. Oh yes, it

1162
00:50:20,440 --> 00:50:22,440
Speaker 3: is about the way that you're getting there. It's not

1163
00:50:22,520 --> 00:50:23,800
Speaker 3: always about the end result.

1164
00:50:24,160 --> 00:50:26,680
Speaker 5: So or give them, you know, a constructive piece of

1165
00:50:26,719 --> 00:50:29,920
Speaker 5: advice of like how you found someone or what worked

1166
00:50:29,920 --> 00:50:31,919
Speaker 5: for you, or you know, like back in the day,

1167
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:33,360
Speaker 5: however long ago that was.

1168
00:50:33,880 --> 00:50:34,719
Speaker 4: I think that can be.

1169
00:50:34,840 --> 00:50:37,600
Speaker 5: Like my my best friend Lily will often you know,

1170
00:50:37,680 --> 00:50:40,200
Speaker 5: give me Like we'll go out and you know, I'll

1171
00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:42,319
Speaker 5: start talking someone's ear off that I think is hot,

1172
00:50:42,320 --> 00:50:44,560
Speaker 5: and she's like, pull back, pull back, and like.

1173
00:50:44,560 --> 00:50:47,239
Speaker 4: That kind of stuff. I think that's fun. I think

1174
00:50:47,280 --> 00:50:48,560
Speaker 4: that's what I'd like to hear.

1175
00:50:49,320 --> 00:50:51,000
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I want to watch you on a date

1176
00:50:51,080 --> 00:50:52,000
Speaker 1: and see what happens.

1177
00:50:52,520 --> 00:50:54,680
Speaker 4: The car and it goes it gets in a wreck

1178
00:50:54,800 --> 00:50:57,200
Speaker 4: real fast, right into a base. Oh I do have

1179
00:50:57,239 --> 00:50:59,239
Speaker 4: a place though I like to go dance to get

1180
00:50:59,280 --> 00:51:01,200
Speaker 4: Davey Wayne's Hollywood.

1181
00:51:00,680 --> 00:51:02,800
Speaker 1: Oh Davy Wade' I haven't been there, And I point.

1182
00:51:02,640 --> 00:51:04,759
Speaker 5: To the hottest person the dance floor. We just make

1183
00:51:04,840 --> 00:51:06,640
Speaker 5: out to Abbits. You're gonna love it.

1184
00:51:07,680 --> 00:51:08,200
Speaker 4: Watch out.

1185
00:51:08,800 --> 00:51:10,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, Chelsea. I love what you said about, like not

1186
00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:12,920
Speaker 2: the person you're gonna wind up with, but the person

1187
00:51:12,920 --> 00:51:14,719
Speaker 2: you want to spend more time with. Like I love

1188
00:51:14,800 --> 00:51:17,280
Speaker 2: looking at it that way. It's just about finding somebody

1189
00:51:17,280 --> 00:51:19,840
Speaker 2: you like being around. And I think also like, don't

1190
00:51:19,840 --> 00:51:22,399
Speaker 2: forget for caraa like, don't forget to like go out

1191
00:51:22,440 --> 00:51:24,960
Speaker 2: and be girlfriends together, Like did your husband go do

1192
00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:27,440
Speaker 2: some fun things together? And also like maybe read her

1193
00:51:27,480 --> 00:51:30,400
Speaker 2: this beautiful letter that you wrote about her and how

1194
00:51:30,480 --> 00:51:32,560
Speaker 2: much you love her. That will be a shot in

1195
00:51:32,560 --> 00:51:32,879
Speaker 2: the arm.

1196
00:51:33,360 --> 00:51:34,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, Yeah.

1197
00:51:34,880 --> 00:51:37,920
Speaker 3: That Dad wraps up our episode of Dear Chelsea. Next

1198
00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:41,040
Speaker 3: up is Dylan's podcast called One Hour with Dylan An

1199
00:51:41,040 --> 00:51:42,279
Speaker 3: Hour with Down.

1200
00:51:42,239 --> 00:51:47,320
Speaker 1: Dylan Darwin Darwin or Dylan Darwin The Dylan Hour.

1201
00:51:47,760 --> 00:51:49,359
Speaker 4: Chelsea Handler will be singing.

1202
00:51:49,080 --> 00:51:51,480
Speaker 1: On it, and I'll be there performing live music.

1203
00:51:51,640 --> 00:51:53,959
Speaker 4: I can't wait to ask you your favorite Broadways show.

1204
00:51:54,320 --> 00:51:58,759
Speaker 1: Oh, I can't wait to tell you I love you,

1205
00:51:58,840 --> 00:52:03,520
Speaker 1: Dylan mulvaney, I love we love you. Thank you everyone.

1206
00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:10,480
Speaker 3: Do do do do drum roll, Catherine please, Chelsea Handler abroad.

1207
00:52:10,680 --> 00:52:12,640
Speaker 1: Abroad is my European tour.

1208
00:52:13,080 --> 00:52:17,200
Speaker 3: So I'm coming to obviously find a husband abroad.

1209
00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:18,920
Speaker 1: I need to get.

1210
00:52:18,760 --> 00:52:21,920
Speaker 3: The help out of this fucking country and it's not

1211
00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:25,080
Speaker 3: as easy as you think. So I'm coming to Rekuvic,

1212
00:52:25,200 --> 00:52:29,080
Speaker 3: I'm coming to Dublin. I'm coming to the UK. I'm

1213
00:52:29,120 --> 00:52:33,600
Speaker 3: coming to Brussels, Paris, Belfast in May and June. I'm

1214
00:52:33,600 --> 00:52:41,080
Speaker 3: coming to Oslo, Stockholm, to Copenhagen, Manchester, London, Glasgow, New Zurich, Vienna.

1215
00:52:41,280 --> 00:52:45,680
Speaker 3: I've never ever been to Vienna, Berlin, Barcelona and Lisbon.

1216
00:52:46,600 --> 00:52:49,720
Speaker 1: I'm coming abroad is abroad.

1217
00:52:49,560 --> 00:52:51,400
Speaker 2: That sounds like fun. I'm going to go see you abroad.

1218
00:52:51,800 --> 00:52:53,920
Speaker 7: I know I want to go see me abroad and

1219
00:52:54,120 --> 00:52:59,160
Speaker 7: there all be, there all be upcoming Vegas States, April eighteenth,

1220
00:52:59,239 --> 00:53:03,359
Speaker 7: July fifth, August thirtieth, November one and twenty nine at

1221
00:53:03,440 --> 00:53:05,520
Speaker 7: the Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas.

1222
00:53:05,760 --> 00:53:08,360
Speaker 2: Do you want advice from Chelsea? Write into Dear Chelsea

1223
00:53:08,360 --> 00:53:12,000
Speaker 2: podcast at gmail dot com. Find full video episodes of

1224
00:53:12,040 --> 00:53:15,120
Speaker 2: Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea pod.

1225
00:53:15,719 --> 00:53:19,600
Speaker 2: Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive

1226
00:53:19,600 --> 00:53:22,120
Speaker 2: producer Catherine Law and be sure to check out our

1227
00:53:22,160 --> 00:53:26,239
Speaker 2: merch at Chelseahandler dot com