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Speaker 1: Hey, John, you're under arrest. Oh no, don't do it.

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Speaker 1: I'm an og okay Storytime podcast host. I don't care.

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Speaker 1: I'm making sure that you stay here for the next

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Speaker 1: two minutes. All right, I'll be detained for the two

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Speaker 1: more minutes before we get into this episode. Yeah, we

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Speaker 1: got some ads coming up. Just stick around. Stick around.

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Speaker 2: I discovered a decade old family secret and it ruined me.

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Speaker 1: Are you adopted?

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Speaker 2: I'm thirty nine years old. I was born in Europe

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Speaker 2: and moved to a different country when I was about

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Speaker 2: three years old with my mom after my parents divorced.

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Speaker 2: They had been married for well over ten years. I

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Speaker 2: never knew my father because my mom hated talking about him.

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Speaker 2: I heard there was cheating involved and that he didn't

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Speaker 2: want to pay alimony. By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 2: Cheap Data sixty eighty nine And if you want to

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Speaker 2: submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay

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Speaker 2: Storytime Supreddit. I'm Carly, I'm Dakota, and we're here to

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Speaker 2: give good advice goofully. But we don't have all the answers.

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Speaker 2: We only know what we would do, So let us

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Speaker 2: know what you would do in the comments. I thought

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Speaker 2: you were gonna do the whole thing.

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Speaker 1: No, just no, just a second.

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Speaker 2: And Ophie says she had a really hard time raising

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Speaker 2: me on her own, and I've always felt very bad

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Speaker 2: for her. I've been giving her my salary since I

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Speaker 2: started working after finishing high school up until today, just

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Speaker 2: to help out. She's now seventy years old and can't work,

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Speaker 2: so I always do my best to be there for

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Speaker 2: her in any way possible. Fourteen years ago, I got

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Speaker 2: a message on Facebook from someone carrying my last name.

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Speaker 2: She said she was my sister from another mother and

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Speaker 2: that she would love to speak with me.

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Speaker 1: Come on, missed opportunity, sister from another mister. Duh, what

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Speaker 1: are you doy?

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Speaker 2: I told my mom, and she immediately got upset and

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Speaker 2: told me not to answer her, so I didn't. My

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Speaker 2: uncle was aware of this and was really interested in

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Speaker 2: me speaking with my father, but my mom got super

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Speaker 2: upset and told him it wasn't his place.

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Speaker 1: We left it at that, bro, where's your rebellious streak?

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Speaker 2: Fast forward to this morning, I wake up and my

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Speaker 2: uncle sends me a screenshot from my sister's Facebook page

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Speaker 2: mourning the passing of our father. I called my uncle

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Speaker 2: and said, wow, what news. I never got to meet

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Speaker 2: or speak with him, and now I'll never have that

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Speaker 2: opportunity either. It was sad. I was crying a little bit.

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Speaker 2: Not because I was sad that I don't have a

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Speaker 2: father anymore, or because I never had a father figure

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Speaker 2: in my life, but because of the disappointment. He never

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Speaker 2: called me, never wished me a happy birthday. Nothing. It

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Speaker 2: was just a very disappointing moment. Then my uncle threw

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Speaker 2: something shocking at me. He said, I have to check

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Speaker 2: if he was even my biological father. I asked him

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Speaker 2: where that came from. He didn't really know what to say.

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Speaker 2: He just mentioned that my sister once said something about it,

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Speaker 2: and he wasn't sure. I decided that the best thing

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Speaker 2: to do, against my mother's wishes, was to send a

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Speaker 2: message to my sister and speak with her again.

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Speaker 1: R you're thirty nine. You don't need to go mother,

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Speaker 1: may I. You can just do it. You're thirty nine, Mother, may.

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Speaker 2: I reach out to my sister.

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Speaker 1: Mother, who's probably now giving the context of the story.

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Speaker 1: He's been lying to me my entire life about who

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Speaker 1: my father is. Can I talk to somebody.

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Speaker 2: Who do we think it is?

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Speaker 1: Greg? Yes, that dude was laying it down Greg all

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Speaker 1: the time, back in the eighties.

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Speaker 2: Greg on that dance floor.

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Speaker 1: Whoa evacuate?

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Speaker 2: Evacuate the dance floor? She answered me right away. I

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Speaker 2: asked her if we could talk, and I called her

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Speaker 2: mind you. I had never spoken with her in my

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Speaker 2: entire life, and she lives on the other side of

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Speaker 2: the world. We were both crying on the phone to

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Speaker 2: one another. She was crying because she was very close

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Speaker 2: to him and just lost him. I cried because of

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Speaker 2: the whole emotion around speaking with her, never having him

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Speaker 2: on my life, the whole roller emotions. She was very

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Speaker 2: mature and told me it was a delicate topic. When

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Speaker 2: I mentioned how disappointed I was in him, she asked

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Speaker 2: me what I knew. I just told her I knew

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Speaker 2: that he wasn't around and that was it. She told

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Speaker 2: me to basically speak with my mother again to get

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Speaker 2: all the answers. I knew that wasn't going to happen,

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Speaker 2: so I told her she could tell me what I

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Speaker 2: was unaware of. She said that he's basically not my

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Speaker 2: biological father and that's why he was not interested in

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Speaker 2: having me around.

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Speaker 1: Unbelievably cruel of your terrible mother to keep this information

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Speaker 1: from you and instead let you think your father was

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Speaker 1: just neglecting you your whole life. Very bad on her part.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure your mom has redeemable qualities, but that is

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Speaker 1: the most selfish, damaging thing I can think of.

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Speaker 2: That's it. After you're like mourning his and everything too,

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Speaker 2: or mourning his passing.

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Speaker 1: And it's not like, oh, we can't just can't tell

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Speaker 1: you're forty thirty nine, but you're old enough. Party, you're

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Speaker 1: old enough to be told the truth. You should have

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Speaker 1: been told decades ago. And that's one hundred percent on

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Speaker 1: your mom. And honestly, like, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I'm curious about the like the how they live on

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Speaker 2: the opposite sides of the world. Yeah, like did you

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Speaker 2: move or did you guys?

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Speaker 1: Like did you move or did they move and life.

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Speaker 2: Or was it literally just like your mom used to

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Speaker 2: live there and you never did there was.

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Speaker 1: No one around to tell you the truth either.

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Speaker 2: Like sounds like uncle knew the whole time too. She

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Speaker 2: told me that when they were together, they were unable

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Speaker 2: to get pregnant, and my mother had an affair with

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Speaker 2: someone who worked for him. That person is my biological father.

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Speaker 2: I've been crying for hours now, because my mom never

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Speaker 2: said anything to me, and she probably never will either.

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Speaker 2: It's funny because we always wondered where I got my

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Speaker 2: light eyes from, as both parents have brown eyes and

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Speaker 2: I got green eyes. But I still don't know if

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Speaker 2: this is actually true. She said that after I was born,

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Speaker 2: he stopped paying alimony once he found out. It's supposedly

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Speaker 2: written in some records somewhere with an attorney that already

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Speaker 2: passed away, but nobody knows where that record is these days. However,

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Speaker 2: on the birth certificate, he's written as my father. If

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Speaker 2: it's true, it would make a lot of sense as

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Speaker 2: to why my mother hated talking about him. She was

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Speaker 2: hiding that he's not my biological father. If it's not

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Speaker 2: true and he is my biological father and they got

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Speaker 2: it wrong all these years, then I just know that

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Speaker 2: my mom didn't want anything to do with him. The

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Speaker 2: problem is I'll never get the answers from my mother.

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Speaker 2: I can't even tell her I know all this because

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Speaker 2: she gets upset at every little thing and stops talking

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Speaker 2: to everyone if she doesn't like something.

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Speaker 1: Dude, your mom sucks. I can say that because she's

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Speaker 1: not my mom, But your mom sucks.

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Speaker 2: She's done that to me many times in my life,

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Speaker 2: and I don't think I can bear having that happen again.

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Speaker 1: That's emotional abuse.

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Speaker 2: She's already older, so I don't want to make her

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Speaker 2: that upset. But it's a really messed up situation. And

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Speaker 2: now I'm just sitting here trying to understand if I

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Speaker 2: had a father that didn't care for me, or if

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Speaker 2: I don't know who the heck my father is. We

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Speaker 2: have an update.

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Speaker 1: You need to confront your mother. I don't care how

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Speaker 1: upset she would get, At whatever level of upset she'd be,

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Speaker 1: would be one thousand percent her own fault for having

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Speaker 1: hid the truth from you your entire life instead of

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Speaker 1: telling you who your actual father is. How selfish and

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Speaker 1: horrible of her to make you think you've been neglected

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Speaker 1: by your father your whole life. Now you don't even

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Speaker 1: know who your father is. She probably kept him out

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Speaker 1: of your life as well to maintain the illusion.

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Speaker 2: I think i'd go to uncle first and be like, hey, listen,

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Speaker 2: I don't know some things. I know you know some things.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to my mom. Tell me everything.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, tell me everything.

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Speaker 2: I'll keep your name out of it.

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Speaker 1: Gather as much info as possible, so you can be like,

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Speaker 1: I know this. You cannot fool me. I know this

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Speaker 1: is a thing. I know it's a fact. Tell me

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Speaker 1: what's going on, and if you don't tell me, I'm

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Speaker 1: cutting you out. Boom, take control of the situation.

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Speaker 2: We have an update. You know anything else? H yes,

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Speaker 2: update my entire life. I believed one man was my father.

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Speaker 1: But it was two men.

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Speaker 2: Even though he wasn't in my life. I grew up

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Speaker 2: with stories about him being successful and wealthy, that he

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Speaker 2: once gave my mom a glamorous life before their divorce.

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Speaker 2: I always clung to those stories because my real upbringing

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Speaker 2: with my mom was financially hard and unstable. Growing up,

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Speaker 2: I had all their wedding and family photos. I looked

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Speaker 2: at his face for years. In my mind, he never

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Speaker 2: aged because I only saw him frozen in those pictures.

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Speaker 2: That image was always the anchor for where I came from,

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Speaker 2: even if we didn't have a relationship. Alongside the glamorous stories,

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Speaker 2: my mom also told me there were a lot of

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Speaker 2: hardships in that marriage. She never went into detailed stories,

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Speaker 2: but she always bashed him and said he was horrible

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Speaker 2: to her behind closed doors. So I grew up with

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Speaker 2: this strange mix a father I imagined as successful and impressive,

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Speaker 2: but who was also painted as a monster in many ways. Supposedly,

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Speaker 2: the man I grew up believing was my father only

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Speaker 2: gave me his last name so I wouldn't grow up

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Speaker 2: with a different last name. This completely shattered me. The

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Speaker 2: man I thought abandon me may not have been my

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Speaker 2: father at all, and now I may never know who

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Speaker 2: my real biological father is. Here's another layer. My husband

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Speaker 2: had actually reached out who I thought was my sister

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Speaker 2: about three months ago while we were visiting family overseas.

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Speaker 2: I didn't know this at the time. He decided we

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Speaker 2: should have a relationship or acknowledgment of some sort, so

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Speaker 2: he messaged her without telling me. Once I finally spoke

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Speaker 2: with her myself about the passing, I later shared the

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Speaker 2: news with him, and that's when he admitted that he

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Speaker 2: had known for months. She had shared with him the

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Speaker 2: same news months ago. He said he hadn't been able

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Speaker 2: to carry it much longer and felt relieved that it

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Speaker 2: was finally out in the open. He was too afraid

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Speaker 2: to tell me as it was such a sensitive topic.

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Speaker 1: Then why the why'd you go digging? Why'd you go

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Speaker 1: digging my guy. You should have said that. Ah, everyone

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Speaker 1: is like letting you down right now, Opie, Why would

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Speaker 1: your husband not tell you? This is unbelievable.

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Speaker 2: Also, I went back and checked. We don't know if

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Speaker 2: OPI's male or female?

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Speaker 1: Right, I don't He didn't say that. I don't think she.

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Speaker 2: Just said I am thirty five or thirty nine.

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Speaker 1: Why would you do that? Like, imagine you find out

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Speaker 1: Kean's dad's not his dad. How long do you keep

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Speaker 1: that a secret from him?

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Speaker 2: I don't even think i'd go reaching out to his

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Speaker 2: family without him knowing. Yeah, that's already like a giant's

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Speaker 2: past boundary.

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Speaker 1: Yes, you'd be in the loop, he'd be in the loop.

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Speaker 1: Why were you not in the loop?

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Speaker 2: Especially because if your husband comes out and is like,

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Speaker 2: I don't want you to do that, you don't do it,

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Speaker 2: Like that's weird to go just their family. When it

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Speaker 2: came time to face my mom, I couldn't bring myself

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Speaker 2: to ask her directly. I've always been scared to confront

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Speaker 2: her because she gets upset about everything, twists conversations, and

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Speaker 2: always puts herself in the victim role. So my husband

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Speaker 2: took the step and asked her on my behalf. Her

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Speaker 2: response was heartbreaking. As soon as they hung up, she

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Speaker 2: called me immediately. She cried, got upset, and then said

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Speaker 2: she doesn't know. She said maybe could be. I don't

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Speaker 2: think so no clear answer. Instead, she turned it into

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Speaker 2: how we do things behind her back, claiming that I

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Speaker 2: don't love her, that I embarrassed her and myself, that

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Speaker 2: I have no compassion. Yeah, your mom sucks. She told

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Speaker 2: me things like you don't have a mother anymore, threatened

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Speaker 2: to sell her apartment and move away, and said she

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Speaker 2: wants no relationship with my husband at all moving forward.

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Speaker 2: I tried to explain my part, but nothing helped. I

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Speaker 2: tried to tell her that I wanted to know my identity,

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Speaker 2: where I came from, but she was too focused on herself.

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Speaker 1: Oh oh, pu sweet thing, you're just trapped in the cycle,

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Speaker 1: she said.

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Speaker 2: My husband came to her all strong and fierce, which

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Speaker 2: he told me he didn't. I gave her a few

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Speaker 2: hours and then texted her that I love her, and

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Speaker 2: then I'm sorry she feels this way. I really tried

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Speaker 2: to show compassion, even though I was very hurt myself,

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Speaker 2: and it felt like she wasn't considering me what I

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Speaker 2: need or what I want to clarify, but it still

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Speaker 2: didn't get through to her. She said she will need

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Speaker 2: my help with doctor's appointments and other things that she's

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Speaker 2: too old to handle. But that would be it in

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Speaker 2: terms of communication. Can you imagine being like, I refuse

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Speaker 2: to talk to you anymore. You're not my child anymore,

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Speaker 2: but I'm a little too old to schedule my doctor's appointments,

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Speaker 2: So like, we are gonna talk for those things, but

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Speaker 2: I nothing else.

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Speaker 1: You don't have a mother anymore, you have an elderly

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Speaker 1: Medicare client that you need to set appointments for.

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Speaker 2: It's almost like maybe we should just get to do

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Speaker 2: someone that can help with that then, because I'm not

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Speaker 2: your kid anymore, you said it not me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. It's I'd be like uncle, your

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Speaker 1: brother can help you, someone else can help you. I'm

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Speaker 1: not gonna help you with anything. You can have somebody

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Speaker 1: else help you.

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Speaker 2: I feel devastated. I may never know the truth about

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Speaker 2: who my biological father is DNA to. Can we just

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Speaker 2: do a test for that, so you're only gonna know

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Speaker 2: the results though, if your father or someone related to

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Speaker 2: your father has also done the test. Since in the database.

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Speaker 2: There was like a big spurt though, of everybody doing

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Speaker 2: those tests, so I feel like like semi good odds.

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Speaker 1: Maybe I still never did one of those you've never

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Speaker 1: done one boom. They can't get us.

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Speaker 2: My mom won't talk about it and seems more focused

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Speaker 2: on being the victim than supporting me. She uses silence

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Speaker 2: as punishment and acts as if I committed a crime

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Speaker 2: for even asking. Prior to posting this, she texted me

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Speaker 2: to say I must tell my husband never to contact

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Speaker 2: her again. She claimed that we had made fun of

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Speaker 2: her for months while she cooked for us and did

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Speaker 2: everything with love, and that we were laughing behind her back,

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Speaker 2: which isn't true. I told her already that I had

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Speaker 2: no idea my husband had spoken to her months ago.

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Speaker 2: She repat again that between me and her there should

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Speaker 2: only be basic contact, help when she needs something, and

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Speaker 2: maybe the occasional good morning or a good night. This

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00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:13,040
Speaker 2: is devastating because we have always been close and I

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Speaker 2: used to share everything with her.

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Speaker 1: It's just so clearly like one of the most toxic relationships.

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Speaker 1: And I guarantee you if you actually decide to be

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Speaker 1: the one to cut everything off, she will come scrambling

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Speaker 1: back to you. She will beg and plead and cry

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Speaker 1: and moan and yell, and what you know, she'll do

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Speaker 1: anything to try to get you to come back, because

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Speaker 1: now that wasn't her decision. She didn't have the power.

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Speaker 1: You had the power. You took it back. As soon

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Speaker 1: as you take the power away from her, she can't

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Speaker 1: stand it. But I don't know. I really think that

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Speaker 1: you need to go no contact with your mother if

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Speaker 1: this is how she's gonna react to having lied to

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Speaker 1: you for the entirety of your life and then now

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Speaker 1: it's your fault and you're the bad one.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree. Don't just keep contact to like make

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Speaker 2: her medical appointmance.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, No, her brother can do that, someone else can

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00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:09,720
Speaker 1: do that, she can hire a service to do it.

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Speaker 2: She told me that one day I'll regret all of

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00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:15,600
Speaker 2: this and she will never forgive us, and that she

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00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:18,960
Speaker 2: wants to live alone with no connection to us. I

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00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:22,440
Speaker 2: feel devastated and heartbroken. I may never know the truth

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00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:26,640
Speaker 2: about who my biological father is. My mom refuses to

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Speaker 2: talk about it and has now pulled away from me

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Speaker 2: almost completely. I ordered a DNA test. I don't know

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Speaker 2: if it'll show me any clarity as both men are

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Speaker 2: almost from the same area in Europe, so I am

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Speaker 2: more focused about her now. My question is how do

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00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:44,080
Speaker 2: I move forward from here therapy. I know how stubborn

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00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:46,680
Speaker 2: she can be, and if she excess someone from her life,

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Speaker 2: there is no second chances. That's the end of that story.

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Speaker 1: I expose my dad's affairs to protect my mom, but

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Speaker 1: she turned on me instead.

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Speaker 2: How dare you tell me about the affairs?

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Speaker 1: I am eighteen female, living with my parents and my

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Speaker 1: three siblings sixteen female, fourteen male, and nine male, and

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Speaker 1: my dad's mother. My parents have always been strict and

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00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,600
Speaker 1: I always felt they were too harsh. They never understood

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00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,480
Speaker 1: me or respected my privacy. I can't move out even

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Speaker 1: after turning eighteen because it isn't normal in our family

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Speaker 1: and I'm not capable of doing so. Anyway. Well, if

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00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:24,760
Speaker 1: that's the case, then honestly, it doesn't really matter if

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00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:28,000
Speaker 1: you're allowed to or not because you can't, but if

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00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,200
Speaker 1: you want to, you should work to get to the

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00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:33,080
Speaker 1: point where you can. By the way this comes from

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00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:34,880
Speaker 1: you use your Mary Dark twenty two and if you

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Speaker 1: want to submit your own stories, go to the r

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Speaker 1: slash Okay storytime subreddit. I'm Dakota. I'm Carly and we

335
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:41,360
Speaker 1: are are to give you a good advice, goofy, but

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00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:42,760
Speaker 1: we don't have all the answers. We only know what

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00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:44,080
Speaker 1: we would do, So if you would do something different,

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00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:47,280
Speaker 1: let us know in the comments. As Op says, my

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00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:50,440
Speaker 1: dad is the head of our family. I am the legs,

340
00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:53,640
Speaker 1: my mother is the arms, and my siblings are the

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00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:58,360
Speaker 1: internal organs. Everyone respects my dad and fears him because

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00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:00,640
Speaker 1: he's always been strict and stubborn in his decisions.

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Speaker 2: Ah, respect and fear great combination.

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00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:07,080
Speaker 1: A great way to rule. We couldn't say no to him.

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00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:09,360
Speaker 1: My mother is the kind of woman with the mindset

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00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:12,199
Speaker 1: that her husband is everything for her. Even though she

347
00:17:12,359 --> 00:17:15,640
Speaker 1: is soft, sometimes she obeys whatever my dad tells her.

348
00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:17,879
Speaker 1: It's clear that she loves him, or she wouldn't be

349
00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:20,119
Speaker 1: working so hard every day to raise four kids and

350
00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,800
Speaker 1: take care of her annoying mother in law who has

351
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:26,200
Speaker 1: dementia and a crappy personality. Oh, it's just really sad.

352
00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:28,440
Speaker 1: I just want to make it clear that even though

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00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:31,640
Speaker 1: my parents are strict, controlling, and overprotective, they love all

354
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:34,640
Speaker 1: of us very much and deeply care for us, even

355
00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:37,600
Speaker 1: if they're not the ones to say it themselves. Now

356
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,479
Speaker 1: that you know the family dynamic, Here's what happened in

357
00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:43,400
Speaker 1: twenty twenty three. I was going through my dad's phone.

358
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Speaker 1: He had two WhatsApps, the normal one and the business one,

359
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:49,480
Speaker 1: which he uses because he's a businessman and owns a company.

360
00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:53,480
Speaker 1: I opened the business WhatsApp and it was password protected.

361
00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:56,719
Speaker 1: I got more curious, and since most of his passwords

362
00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:59,399
Speaker 1: were the same, I tried it and unlocked it. Just

363
00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:01,320
Speaker 1: to be clear I was on his phone because in

364
00:18:01,359 --> 00:18:04,000
Speaker 1: our house we were never allowed phones. I got my

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00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,960
Speaker 1: first and current phone at eighteen, so I was using

366
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:09,440
Speaker 1: my dad's at the time. In the WhatsApp, there were

367
00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:12,080
Speaker 1: some normal texts regarding work, but the one on top

368
00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:15,240
Speaker 1: had a Malaysian girl's picture and the name was saved

369
00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:17,359
Speaker 1: with a heart. I opened the chat and read it

370
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:21,640
Speaker 1: back in horror, holding back gags. The girl had sent

371
00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:27,440
Speaker 1: my dad's spicy photos and videos. There were flirting texts,

372
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:29,439
Speaker 1: a lot of them, and it had been going on

373
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Speaker 1: for months. That's pretty rough to find as a teen.

374
00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:35,560
Speaker 1: I think I would maybe just take my dad's phone

375
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Speaker 1: and slam it into the ground and be like, Dad,

376
00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:41,240
Speaker 1: I dropped your phone. Yeah, I don't know what's on it.

377
00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:43,040
Speaker 1: I dropped it. I don't want to deal with that.

378
00:18:43,359 --> 00:18:46,120
Speaker 1: I had a rush of anxiety. I put his phone back,

379
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:49,720
Speaker 1: ran to my room and cried for hours. I didn't

380
00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:52,840
Speaker 1: know what to do, so I decided to tell my mother.

381
00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:55,639
Speaker 1: I got her alone, sat her down, and nervously said

382
00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:58,120
Speaker 1: I wanted to tell her something. She looked me right

383
00:18:58,119 --> 00:18:59,959
Speaker 1: in the eye and said, if it's about a guy,

384
00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:04,200
Speaker 1: I swear to God, I said it's not. I mean, well,

385
00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:07,160
Speaker 1: it is about her guy, it's about her husband. Why

386
00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:08,840
Speaker 1: would your mom say, if it's about a guy, I

387
00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:09,440
Speaker 1: swear to God.

388
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:10,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're eighteen.

389
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:13,600
Speaker 1: Well I think in this they're younger than eighteen.

390
00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:16,159
Speaker 2: This is before Yeah, when your rules in your family.

391
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:17,200
Speaker 2: I'm slightly judging.

392
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:21,280
Speaker 1: So here we get you. I said, it's not parentheses.

393
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:24,439
Speaker 1: I've never dated because my parents are very highly against it.

394
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:27,919
Speaker 1: Then I hesitantly told her everything. She was shocked and

395
00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:30,879
Speaker 1: asked me to show her the text and pictures. I did,

396
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,200
Speaker 1: and she kind of lashed out at me. Why'd you

397
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,119
Speaker 1: go through his phone? This is why I tell you

398
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:36,840
Speaker 1: to study hard so you don't end up like this.

399
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:39,959
Speaker 1: You don't study, never touch his phone again. I'll handle it.

400
00:19:40,119 --> 00:19:42,800
Speaker 1: Never speak of this to anyone again, I said, okay.

401
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:45,159
Speaker 1: I felt relieved that the burden was off me. A

402
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:47,159
Speaker 1: few days later, my mom told me that it was

403
00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:50,280
Speaker 1: none of my concern and it was work related. Foreign

404
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:52,120
Speaker 1: people are just like that.

405
00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:57,679
Speaker 2: She said, girl, what what a crazy thing? Has he

406
00:19:57,760 --> 00:20:00,520
Speaker 2: been telling her? That this? That you're her mom?

407
00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:01,040
Speaker 1: Is so?

408
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:03,840
Speaker 2: Like? No, that's like totally normal.

409
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:08,040
Speaker 1: Dude, Pop's got your mom brainwashed right now, get the

410
00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:11,080
Speaker 1: all out of hero P. Try to tell your siblings

411
00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:14,439
Speaker 1: this is not normal as well. And I don't know,

412
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:16,919
Speaker 1: You've got a lot of responsibility on your shoulders right

413
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:19,640
Speaker 1: now for yourself and for your siblings. But I'm gonna

414
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:22,159
Speaker 1: break this to you right now. Based on everything I'm reading,

415
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:26,440
Speaker 1: your parents are not treating you very well.

416
00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:28,440
Speaker 2: Not at all, or each other very well.

417
00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:32,600
Speaker 1: Yeah. My mother isn't illiterate, but she isn't much interested

418
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:35,240
Speaker 1: in technology. I knew my dad had told her lies,

419
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:37,439
Speaker 1: and I wanted to tell her, but I chose not to.

420
00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:40,320
Speaker 1: I checked his phone again and nothing was there. I

421
00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:43,240
Speaker 1: thought that was it, But then a year later I

422
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:45,680
Speaker 1: went through his phone again and it was a different

423
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:49,440
Speaker 1: girl from the USA. He called her cat and had

424
00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:51,680
Speaker 1: flirted with her from the text. He went to the

425
00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:54,040
Speaker 1: USA a few months later and met up with her.

426
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,840
Speaker 1: She even came to our country and he met up

427
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:59,520
Speaker 1: with her, but this time the girl was really uninterested

428
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:01,920
Speaker 1: and did want anything to do with him. I could

429
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:03,919
Speaker 1: tell from the dry texts.

430
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:07,080
Speaker 2: Oh, doesn't even have game.

431
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:11,199
Speaker 1: Dad can't even rise them up, dude, How embarrassing. He

432
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:13,560
Speaker 1: had even asked her if he could stay at her house,

433
00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:16,359
Speaker 1: to which she denied and said she only has a room.

434
00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:19,280
Speaker 1: My father shamelessly said he would sleep on the couch

435
00:21:19,359 --> 00:21:22,960
Speaker 1: with a suggestive emoji. I was disgusted. I once again

436
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:24,600
Speaker 1: didn't know what to do, so I just deleted the

437
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:27,080
Speaker 1: chat permanently from his phone, along with the number. I

438
00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:29,520
Speaker 1: thought maybe he would get the hint and stop the

439
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:32,560
Speaker 1: guilt ate me inside. As I never told anyone about this.

440
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:34,399
Speaker 1: I thought that was the end, and I started to

441
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:37,720
Speaker 1: forget it and began being normal with my father until

442
00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:40,920
Speaker 1: he decided to prove what a shameless jerk he is.

443
00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:44,439
Speaker 2: I don't like your dad, and I think he's the worst.

444
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:47,800
Speaker 1: Yeah. Two days ago, I was going through his phone again.

445
00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:50,800
Speaker 1: I do have my phone, I just don't trust him.

446
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:53,639
Speaker 1: To my shock, he had a dating app. It was

447
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:56,359
Speaker 1: similar to Tinder, quite common in my country. I just

448
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,520
Speaker 1: want to pause here and say, oh, Pee, this is

449
00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:01,800
Speaker 1: none of your responsibility. You don't have to continually check

450
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:05,120
Speaker 1: your father. You can already just sew my dad's kind

451
00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:08,280
Speaker 1: of a scumbag. My dad's been cheating on my mom.

452
00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:11,640
Speaker 1: I'm going to remove myself from the situation. I tried

453
00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:13,280
Speaker 1: to tell my mom about it, and she said, oh,

454
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:14,880
Speaker 1: that's just how Malaysians are.

455
00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:17,960
Speaker 2: I feel like OP is trying to just look out

456
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:22,120
Speaker 2: for their mom a bunch. It is not your responsibility.

457
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:25,080
Speaker 2: But at the same time, I think i'd be kind

458
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:27,440
Speaker 2: of like, how did you not believe him the first time?

459
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:29,639
Speaker 2: Like I'm gonna get you proof that this isn't like

460
00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:32,680
Speaker 2: just a Malaysian thing, huh again.

461
00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:34,840
Speaker 1: And we're removed from a situation, so it's way easier

462
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:36,399
Speaker 1: for us to be like, oh, this is what you

463
00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:40,080
Speaker 1: should do, but don't you really You need to completely

464
00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:44,280
Speaker 1: only worry about yourself, worry about building yourself up, because

465
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:46,800
Speaker 1: I guarantee you, if your parents are discontrolling, they are

466
00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:48,760
Speaker 1: probably going to be controlling in that they don't want

467
00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:51,000
Speaker 1: you to leave, because then you can be useful to them.

468
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:53,520
Speaker 1: When you're at the house, you can do things. You

469
00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:56,320
Speaker 1: can probably get money that you're probably giving money from

470
00:22:56,359 --> 00:22:59,200
Speaker 1: whatever job you have is probably going back to them

471
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:03,960
Speaker 1: in some way degree. So save up, make a financial plan.

472
00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:06,920
Speaker 1: There's plenty of resources out there to learn about how

473
00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:09,960
Speaker 1: to do that, and maybe find you know a friend,

474
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:13,919
Speaker 1: a roommate, something, make a plan together. Get out of your.

475
00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:15,240
Speaker 2: House, get out.

476
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:18,760
Speaker 1: I just wanted to give my dad the benefit of

477
00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:21,320
Speaker 1: the doubt and think maybe he doesn't have a profile,

478
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:24,600
Speaker 1: but he did. Maybe he didn't text anyone. He did.

479
00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:27,920
Speaker 1: He had texted five different women. It's a different thing

480
00:23:28,119 --> 00:23:31,480
Speaker 1: that he was rejected by all of them. Good job women.

481
00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:34,399
Speaker 1: I am absolutely devastated. Now I have no idea what

482
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:36,840
Speaker 1: to do. I deleted the app and his profile, but

483
00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:39,280
Speaker 1: I can't just let it be anymore. It hurts me

484
00:23:39,359 --> 00:23:41,480
Speaker 1: so much to see how he doesn't respect my mother

485
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:45,040
Speaker 1: or our family. My mother works so hard for him.

486
00:23:45,359 --> 00:23:47,679
Speaker 1: It would break her and take away her reason to

487
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:49,840
Speaker 1: get up and do anything. So I don't want to

488
00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:53,000
Speaker 1: tell her anything this time. I want to talk directly

489
00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:55,840
Speaker 1: about this to my father. I want to tell him

490
00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:58,919
Speaker 1: that I know everything, and I am a thing disappointed

491
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:02,120
Speaker 1: in him. Always says to me that I'm so immature

492
00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:03,880
Speaker 1: and that I need to grow up, and I can't

493
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:06,600
Speaker 1: effing wait to throw his words back at him. I've

494
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:09,320
Speaker 1: had enough. I have to take a stand for my mother,

495
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:14,200
Speaker 1: my siblings, and myself. And there's an update. I don't

496
00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:17,159
Speaker 1: know if it's gonna go. Well.

497
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:19,680
Speaker 2: I'm worried about you doing that. I don't think it's

498
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:21,520
Speaker 2: the wrong thing to do if you really want to

499
00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:25,239
Speaker 2: do it, but I don't like how you've described your

500
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:28,160
Speaker 2: father as handling things, so this does worry me. Yeah.

501
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:31,119
Speaker 1: Update, Well, I talked to my dad about it, and

502
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:34,920
Speaker 1: I can't effing believe this pathetic excuse of a man. One,

503
00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:37,800
Speaker 1: I'm just letting it be. I'm never gonna touch his

504
00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:40,520
Speaker 1: phone again. Two, he gave me the same BS he

505
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:43,639
Speaker 1: gave my mom a few years ago. That's a USA app.

506
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:46,240
Speaker 1: I need it for my business. If it was that

507
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:49,040
Speaker 1: kind of app, I wouldn't have it. He thinks I'm

508
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:51,120
Speaker 1: freaking dumb. He was mad at me for going through

509
00:24:51,119 --> 00:24:53,240
Speaker 1: his phone, but I just threw in, you go through

510
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:56,919
Speaker 1: mine all the time. I'm devastated right now. Honestly, I

511
00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:59,920
Speaker 1: did see this as a possibility. I kind of expected

512
00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:02,960
Speaker 1: but it still hurts. I don't think I can ever

513
00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:06,240
Speaker 1: trust my father like before or be close to him anymore.

514
00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:09,040
Speaker 1: But at least now he knows that I know, so

515
00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:11,639
Speaker 1: maybe he can stop doing what he's doing. I just

516
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:12,080
Speaker 1: give up.

517
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:14,119
Speaker 2: He's not gonna stop.

518
00:25:14,359 --> 00:25:16,920
Speaker 1: He's not gonna stop, and that's okay. It's not your fault,

519
00:25:17,359 --> 00:25:20,000
Speaker 1: nor is it your responsibility. Again, it's time to focus

520
00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:22,680
Speaker 1: on ourselves. I'm just gonna let it be. I did

521
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:25,040
Speaker 1: what I could, and we have some comments here. Comment

522
00:25:25,119 --> 00:25:27,359
Speaker 1: number one, your mother is a lost cause. You just

523
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:29,919
Speaker 1: gotta leave that alone. Just take her example and do

524
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:33,400
Speaker 1: not follow her way. Do the complete opposite of your mother.

525
00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:37,080
Speaker 1: Be resolute in your boundaries. Oh P replies fair enough,

526
00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:40,000
Speaker 1: But to be clear, I do love both my parents,

527
00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:42,879
Speaker 1: no matter how their personalities are, and I guess I

528
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:45,919
Speaker 1: sympathize with my mother as a woman. I'd never forgive

529
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:48,600
Speaker 1: if someone cheated on me. And yeah, you can still

530
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:52,680
Speaker 1: love your parents, but don't be around for all this.

531
00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:54,720
Speaker 1: You can love them, time to.

532
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:57,600
Speaker 2: Remove yourself from at least this specific situation.

533
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:00,760
Speaker 1: Comment two says you can love people and not like

534
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:02,879
Speaker 1: them or like what they do, but there's also a

535
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:06,040
Speaker 1: measure of respect, respect for themselves, and respect for the

536
00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:09,560
Speaker 1: people around them. Your dad especially doesn't respect his family

537
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:14,280
Speaker 1: at all. A third comment says, ouch, yeah, this sucks.

538
00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:16,280
Speaker 1: You're caught right in the middle of everything as you

539
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:19,040
Speaker 1: are the oldest sibling and female. I know that you

540
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:20,800
Speaker 1: feel like you need to be the one who has

541
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:23,320
Speaker 1: to take a stand for everyone. I get it because

542
00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:26,960
Speaker 1: I was there too, but you really don't. This is

543
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:30,280
Speaker 1: your parents' mess and as such you probably won't be

544
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:33,600
Speaker 1: able to change much of anything. My best advice is

545
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:35,760
Speaker 1: to sit down with both parents at the same time

546
00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:38,560
Speaker 1: and tell them both how you feel. It will be

547
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:41,480
Speaker 1: terribly awkward, but it will get you out of the

548
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:44,720
Speaker 1: middle and get how you feel off your chest. It

549
00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:48,600
Speaker 1: will also show your dad that you are decidedly not immature.

550
00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:52,880
Speaker 1: And that is the end of that story. Hey it's Sam.

551
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:55,000
Speaker 1: We'll get back to the stories. But here's three minutes

552
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:56,399
Speaker 1: of ads from our sponsors.

553
00:26:56,800 --> 00:27:01,480
Speaker 2: My cousin ruined Easter and tor are family apart.

554
00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:04,280
Speaker 1: The Easter bunny costume was all wrong, wasn't it.

555
00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:06,719
Speaker 2: That's exactly what it was, And they hid the eggs

556
00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:07,720
Speaker 2: in the wrong spot.

557
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:11,919
Speaker 1: They hid the eggs in the freezer, frozen eggs.

558
00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:16,080
Speaker 2: This happened last Easter, and my family is still divided.

559
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:18,919
Speaker 2: I'm a twenty four year old woman and I have

560
00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:22,320
Speaker 2: eight younger cousins. I get along well with all of them,

561
00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:25,960
Speaker 2: except the thirteen year old, who will call Chris. Chris

562
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:29,840
Speaker 2: is an only child and very spoiled. My aunt doesn't

563
00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:32,520
Speaker 2: have many rules for him and doesn't really care what

564
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:36,320
Speaker 2: he does. By the way, this comes from booters Scooter

565
00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:40,440
Speaker 2: fifty five. I'm so happy I got to say that.

566
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:43,200
Speaker 2: And if you want us to make your own stories,

567
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:45,439
Speaker 2: go to the r slash okay storytime subreddit. But you

568
00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:47,639
Speaker 2: better have a fun name like that one. And I'm Carly,

569
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:50,920
Speaker 2: I'm Dakota, and we're here to give good advice. Goofully,

570
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:54,000
Speaker 2: But we don't have all the answers. We only know

571
00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:56,000
Speaker 2: what we would do, So let us know what you

572
00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:59,960
Speaker 2: would do in the comments. And Opie says he also

573
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:03,280
Speaker 2: so has some anger issues. If things don't go his way,

574
00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:10,119
Speaker 2: he throws tantrums, growls, and even gets physical. When we

575
00:28:10,119 --> 00:28:13,400
Speaker 2: play video games and he doesn't win, he starts growling

576
00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:16,760
Speaker 2: and swearing. We have to take the controller away from

577
00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:19,440
Speaker 2: him like a little kid, which causes my aunt to

578
00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:22,400
Speaker 2: yell at us and make us turn the game off

579
00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:25,880
Speaker 2: because it upsets Chris. For the past few years, I've

580
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:28,800
Speaker 2: thrown an Easter egg hunt for my two youngest cousins,

581
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:31,840
Speaker 2: who were three and five when I started. The first

582
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:34,879
Speaker 2: two years, Chris and my aunt didn't come, so I

583
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:37,800
Speaker 2: didn't have any issues and the kids loved it. This year,

584
00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:41,240
Speaker 2: they came down and I was debating whether to include Chris.

585
00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:44,080
Speaker 2: I asked my mom what she thought, and she suggested

586
00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:47,440
Speaker 2: that since Chris was too old, instead of excluding him,

587
00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:49,960
Speaker 2: I could make him a goodie bag and have him

588
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:52,240
Speaker 2: help me hide the eggs. I thought this was a

589
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:54,560
Speaker 2: good idea, since he's much older than the other two

590
00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:57,720
Speaker 2: and doesn't know limits very well. I didn't want to

591
00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:00,240
Speaker 2: find him throwing a tantrum if things didn't go his

592
00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:02,720
Speaker 2: way fair the day of the egg hunt, I gently

593
00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:04,880
Speaker 2: told him the hunt was for the younger kids and

594
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:07,560
Speaker 2: that he could help me hide the eggs. I mentioned

595
00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:09,920
Speaker 2: I had a goodie bag for him inside, but he

596
00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:13,760
Speaker 2: threw a huge fit. He started getting physical, broke a

597
00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:17,440
Speaker 2: bunch of the eggs, and wrecked one of the easter baskets.

598
00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:20,160
Speaker 2: When I told him to stop, my aunt got involved

599
00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:22,720
Speaker 2: and gave me an earful She said I shouldn't have

600
00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:26,560
Speaker 2: excluded Chris and that I owed him an apology. Your

601
00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:29,200
Speaker 2: son shouldn't have gotten physical over an Easter egg hunt.

602
00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:31,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, my god, what are we talking about? Your son

603
00:29:32,040 --> 00:29:34,760
Speaker 1: went on a rampage. Do you know how many tantrum

604
00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:39,440
Speaker 1: rampages I went on at the age of thirteen zero zero.

605
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:42,040
Speaker 2: I was gonna say goose egg, but in this case

606
00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:42,880
Speaker 2: easter egg.

607
00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:47,960
Speaker 1: Yes, egg, I went on egg number of tantrum outbursts.

608
00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:50,240
Speaker 1: And this is, to be clear, really not his fault.

609
00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:53,600
Speaker 1: It's probably just a behavioral issue. Young little teenage brains

610
00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:56,240
Speaker 1: can be very complicated, especially now that they're just pumped

611
00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:59,280
Speaker 1: full of digital media all the time, so it's something

612
00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:00,000
Speaker 1: to be addressed.

613
00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:02,320
Speaker 2: Sounds like it's a known issue, though, So maybe his

614
00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:05,360
Speaker 2: mom should have been getting him help for it.

615
00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:09,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, possible. Instead, Mom's like, nah, my kid's perfect, Then

616
00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:10,800
Speaker 1: you all have the problem.

617
00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:13,920
Speaker 2: I refused, saying that, if anything, he owed me an

618
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:17,880
Speaker 2: apology for wrecking everything. They left, and my family is split.

619
00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:20,200
Speaker 2: Some say I was in the right and my aunt

620
00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:23,600
Speaker 2: needs to start disciplining him, but others say I should

621
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:26,160
Speaker 2: have just put him in the egg hunt to avoid drama.

622
00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:27,600
Speaker 2: So am I the a hole?

623
00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:30,640
Speaker 1: To be clear, it wasn't your freaking idea not to

624
00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:32,120
Speaker 1: put him in the egg hunt? Right?

625
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:35,280
Speaker 2: She had come with the proposition that he was too old.

626
00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:39,360
Speaker 2: Op oh p he or Opie's mom. They discussed it.

627
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:42,360
Speaker 1: I thought this was his mom, I thought, so, I

628
00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:45,640
Speaker 1: guess not. No, So okay, it was it Because I

629
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:47,440
Speaker 1: was so confused because I thought it was Chris's I

630
00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:51,560
Speaker 1: asked my mom, Okay, okay, and yeah. He suggested that

631
00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:54,320
Speaker 1: to be fair, just to have him do the Easter

632
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:55,560
Speaker 1: egg hunt, not.

633
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:57,640
Speaker 2: After he throws a fit and breaks everything. Right, But

634
00:30:57,760 --> 00:31:01,200
Speaker 2: I can like a quick call up your aunt, text

635
00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:04,160
Speaker 2: over to Chris or someone, Hey, I know you're thirteen

636
00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:06,240
Speaker 2: or your son's thirteen. Do you think he'd want to

637
00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:07,560
Speaker 2: be in an egg hunt? Or do you think he'd

638
00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:08,760
Speaker 2: want to help me hide the eggs?

639
00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:10,480
Speaker 1: Yeah? Truly, that's all it takes.

640
00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:13,880
Speaker 2: Yeah. Side note, Chris's dad left when Chris was born

641
00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:16,080
Speaker 2: and hasn't been in the picture for years. We have

642
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:18,160
Speaker 2: an update, You got anything else? Should we just dive in?

643
00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:23,400
Speaker 2: Let's freaking go First, I'm gonna clarify some things. The

644
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:26,520
Speaker 2: cutoff age for egg hunts in my family is ten years.

645
00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:30,040
Speaker 2: The eggs I was using were solid chocolate mini eggs,

646
00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:34,280
Speaker 2: hollow chocolate eggs, and solid Reese's Pieces eggs. I only

647
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:37,240
Speaker 2: told him to stop and didn't do anything more because

648
00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:39,920
Speaker 2: I was terrified of making my aunt mad, but she

649
00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:44,160
Speaker 2: ended up being mad anyway. So we all think Chris

650
00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:46,400
Speaker 2: might be on the spectrum, but my aunt says he's

651
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:49,160
Speaker 2: a perfectly normal kid and won't get him tested. My

652
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:51,719
Speaker 2: cousins and I are fine. My other aunt said they

653
00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:54,240
Speaker 2: won't be coming over if Chris is there. My grandma

654
00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:56,880
Speaker 2: gave Chris his mom an ultimatum to either get Chris

655
00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:59,920
Speaker 2: tested or they'll be cut off and excluded from all family. Yes,

656
00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:03,800
Speaker 2: my aunt refused, so they were cut off. Thanksgiving is

657
00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:06,400
Speaker 2: coming up and my mom wants to invite them. I

658
00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:08,959
Speaker 2: told her not to since all they do is cause drama,

659
00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:11,320
Speaker 2: and my other aunt and her kids won't come if

660
00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:14,280
Speaker 2: Chris is there, but she said she can't just exclude them.

661
00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:17,720
Speaker 2: Chris's mom also tried to blackmail me, saying that my

662
00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:20,320
Speaker 2: siblings and other cousins are the only thing that Chris

663
00:32:20,400 --> 00:32:22,880
Speaker 2: has close to siblings. I called her out on his

664
00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:25,880
Speaker 2: behavior and said she needs to start being a parent

665
00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:28,800
Speaker 2: and disciplining him. She told me to mind my own

666
00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:31,440
Speaker 2: business and stop telling her how to parent her kid.

667
00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:34,040
Speaker 2: I don't know if they're coming for Thanksgiving. My mom

668
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:36,960
Speaker 2: has her heart set on inviting them, but everyone else

669
00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:39,560
Speaker 2: is saying not to. And we have another update. Will

670
00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:40,640
Speaker 2: this dive right into that one?

671
00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:41,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's get it.

672
00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:44,840
Speaker 2: My grandma found out that my mom was still planning

673
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:48,000
Speaker 2: on inviting my aunt who will call Lucy and Chris

674
00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:51,200
Speaker 2: to Thanksgiving. She called my mom saying if she invited them,

675
00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:54,240
Speaker 2: she and my grandpa wouldn't come. She told my other

676
00:32:54,320 --> 00:32:56,960
Speaker 2: aunts and uncle and they all agreed that if Chris

677
00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:59,960
Speaker 2: and Aunt Lucy are there, they won't come. My other

678
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:02,560
Speaker 2: her aunt who will call Bella, called my mom saying,

679
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:05,440
Speaker 2: if you invite Lucy and Chris, we aren't coming. Chris

680
00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:08,600
Speaker 2: hurt my kids and scared them. My kids don't feel

681
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:12,280
Speaker 2: comfortable or safe around him. My mom was crushed. I

682
00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:15,000
Speaker 2: asked why she wanted to invite Aunt Lucy and Chris

683
00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:17,760
Speaker 2: so badly. My mom said that her sister has always

684
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:20,960
Speaker 2: been difficult and that she feels guilty excluding her and

685
00:33:21,080 --> 00:33:24,000
Speaker 2: Chris since his dad isn't in the picture. She feels

686
00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:25,920
Speaker 2: bad that he doesn't have a dad in his life.

687
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:28,520
Speaker 2: Then my mom said she was going to secretly invite

688
00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:30,440
Speaker 2: my aunt and Chris and not tell the others.

689
00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:32,840
Speaker 1: Now, it's a terrible idea.

690
00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:35,600
Speaker 2: Bad idea. Go around your mom and tell them. I

691
00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:37,800
Speaker 2: told my mom it was a bad idea and would

692
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:40,560
Speaker 2: cause even more drama. She said she didn't care, and

693
00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:43,479
Speaker 2: that if she's hosting, she gets to choose who to invite.

694
00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:45,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then people get to choose if they want

695
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:46,120
Speaker 1: to come or not.

696
00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:48,720
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, you can invite whoever you want, but you

697
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:51,400
Speaker 2: need to deal with the consequences of inviting Chris and Lucy,

698
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:53,400
Speaker 2: is that no one else is coming.

699
00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:55,400
Speaker 1: Or that they're going to show up, and then they

700
00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:57,480
Speaker 1: have to deal with the oh they just they're here.

701
00:33:57,560 --> 00:34:00,960
Speaker 1: Well now everyone's leaving. Yeah, and it's gonna feel even

702
00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:03,520
Speaker 1: worse than having not been invited in the first place.

703
00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:03,960
Speaker 2: Yep.

704
00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:06,560
Speaker 1: So, god dang it, your mom needs to sit down

705
00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:08,120
Speaker 1: with your sister and have like a heart to heart

706
00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:11,760
Speaker 1: and be like, look, your kid needs help. And I'm

707
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:14,000
Speaker 1: not saying this to put you down. I just want

708
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:15,600
Speaker 1: your kid to get the help he needs so that

709
00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:18,319
Speaker 1: we can be a family again. Because this is ridiculous.

710
00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:21,400
Speaker 2: Yeah. Now I'm debating whether to tell my other relatives

711
00:34:21,440 --> 00:34:24,080
Speaker 2: what my mom is planning or say nothing and pray

712
00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:26,640
Speaker 2: she doesn't go through with it. My mom is really

713
00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:29,400
Speaker 2: hard headed, so I know there will be no talking

714
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:29,920
Speaker 2: her out of this.

715
00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:33,120
Speaker 1: I have another update me Personally, I wouldn't say anything

716
00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:35,080
Speaker 1: and I'd be like, this is not my mess to

717
00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:37,759
Speaker 1: deal with. I'm gonna let my mom take point on

718
00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:40,360
Speaker 1: this and deal with all of the repercussions herself.

719
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:42,759
Speaker 2: It depends how involved you want to be, because if

720
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:44,640
Speaker 2: you do tell them, you're involved.

721
00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:47,440
Speaker 1: Now, yeah, I personally don't want anything to do with it,

722
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:51,440
Speaker 1: but yeah, I wouldn't like being ambushed. But either way,

723
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:53,480
Speaker 1: I feel like she's just all your mom needs to

724
00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:54,480
Speaker 1: be the one taking points on this.

725
00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:57,160
Speaker 2: It's also going to depend on like how far are

726
00:34:57,200 --> 00:35:00,000
Speaker 2: these relatives coming from, because if they're coming like states away,

727
00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:02,440
Speaker 2: it's a long drive that I might be more inclined

728
00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:04,920
Speaker 2: to be like, hey, before you make the long drive

729
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:08,800
Speaker 2: out here. Other option, everyone shows up, everyone sees that

730
00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:12,880
Speaker 2: Chris and Lucy are there, everyone goes somewhere else. I

731
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:15,720
Speaker 2: ended up telling my relatives what my mom was planning.

732
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:16,040
Speaker 1: Uh.

733
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:18,759
Speaker 2: Oh, they agreed not to tell her they knew and

734
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:21,880
Speaker 2: are planning on hosting a different Thanksgiving dinner at my

735
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:26,040
Speaker 2: grandma's house, which I'm really looking forward to. Okay, now

736
00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:30,080
Speaker 2: this is where things really went wrong. No, that they

737
00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:30,960
Speaker 2: already went wrong.

738
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:32,719
Speaker 1: Hopie, we're going wronger.

739
00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:36,920
Speaker 2: The other day, my grandma invited me, my siblings, and

740
00:35:37,120 --> 00:35:40,400
Speaker 2: cousins out for a pool day. She didn't invite Chris

741
00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:42,759
Speaker 2: since she cut off contact with my aunt at the

742
00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:46,040
Speaker 2: end of last month. The day was fun and drama free.

743
00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:49,279
Speaker 2: The next day, however, my aunt was blowing up our

744
00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:52,520
Speaker 2: phones and cussing us out. Somehow she found out about

745
00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:56,400
Speaker 2: the pool day and was livid that we didn't include Chris.

746
00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:59,080
Speaker 2: I'm guessing my mom told her since she's the only

747
00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:01,959
Speaker 2: one who still talks to my aunt. My aunt even

748
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:05,800
Speaker 2: called my grandma and threatened her because she didn't include Chris.

749
00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:09,800
Speaker 2: This made my aunt Bella and Uncle Greg go off

750
00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:13,200
Speaker 2: on her, calling her entitled and saying it's no wonder

751
00:36:13,280 --> 00:36:15,359
Speaker 2: Chris turned out the way he did. They told her

752
00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:17,920
Speaker 2: she needs help, and then until she gets help for

753
00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:21,120
Speaker 2: her and Chris, they don't want her around. They said

754
00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:23,839
Speaker 2: they'd go no contact and get a restraining order if

755
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:27,279
Speaker 2: she keeps pestering them. My aunt Lucy then doubled down

756
00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:31,160
Speaker 2: and sent everyone pictures of Chris crying, saying you made

757
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:34,080
Speaker 2: him so sad. He cried because he wasn't included. Everyone

758
00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:36,239
Speaker 2: ended up blocking her except my mom.

759
00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:39,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a real scumbag move to probably first of all,

760
00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:43,279
Speaker 1: explain to Chris that he was excluded and why he

761
00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:45,440
Speaker 1: was excluded, because Chris would have never known, so you

762
00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:48,200
Speaker 1: had to explain to him as his mother. And then,

763
00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:51,239
Speaker 1: in his emotional distress, you take a picture of it

764
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:53,760
Speaker 1: and use it to try to manipulate the other members

765
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:56,160
Speaker 1: of your family. You're a scumbag, and it really just

766
00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:58,399
Speaker 1: goes to show you don't care about Chris. You care

767
00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:01,120
Speaker 1: more about I don't know, some sense of just like

768
00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:05,239
Speaker 1: being involved or or being right. I don't know what

769
00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:07,480
Speaker 1: you care about, but you clearly don't care about your

770
00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:08,240
Speaker 1: son Greed.

771
00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:11,799
Speaker 2: My aunt then went off on me, saying it must

772
00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:14,640
Speaker 2: have been my idea to exclude Chris and that I'm

773
00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:17,440
Speaker 2: a terrible cousin. She said, if I didn't exclude him

774
00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:19,680
Speaker 2: from the egg hunt, none of this would have happened.

775
00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:22,719
Speaker 2: I told her that all this happened because she refused

776
00:37:22,719 --> 00:37:25,240
Speaker 2: to get Chris help. I said it wasn't my fault.

777
00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:27,560
Speaker 2: No one wanted to be around him, and that if

778
00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:30,040
Speaker 2: she got him tested and the help he needs, then

779
00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:32,680
Speaker 2: maybe we'd want to be around him. I told her

780
00:37:32,719 --> 00:37:35,520
Speaker 2: she needs to start being a parent and disciplining him.

781
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:38,840
Speaker 2: She told me to back off and mine my own business.

782
00:37:39,239 --> 00:37:42,120
Speaker 2: I ended up blocking her as well. Then my mom

783
00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:46,200
Speaker 2: went off on me for being disrespectful towards her sister.

784
00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:48,360
Speaker 1: Don't worry, your mom's just got some kind of complex

785
00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:50,600
Speaker 1: with her sister. Disregard this entirely.

786
00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:52,799
Speaker 2: I told her I was done being treated like the

787
00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:55,399
Speaker 2: bad guy, and that I was tired of my aunt

788
00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:59,239
Speaker 2: burining me and blaming me for everything. My mom said

789
00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:03,000
Speaker 2: I better start respecting my aunt and that family stick together.

790
00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:06,279
Speaker 2: I left and things have been very tense since. The

791
00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:08,720
Speaker 2: rest of my family says my aunt is at fault.

792
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:11,920
Speaker 2: They're still doing the other Thanksgiving at my Grandma's and

793
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:14,799
Speaker 2: won't tell my aunt or my mom because they know

794
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:17,960
Speaker 2: my mom will tell my aunt and more drama will happen.

795
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:22,759
Speaker 2: I'm so stressed right now and dreading Thanksgiving. We have

796
00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:23,640
Speaker 2: another update.

797
00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:25,840
Speaker 1: Any other thoughts, Yeah, I don't know.

798
00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:28,160
Speaker 2: I don't tell them. I'm assuming she's op. He's going

799
00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:29,600
Speaker 2: to Grandma Thanksgiving.

800
00:38:29,840 --> 00:38:31,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, that sucks to have to be in that position

801
00:38:31,680 --> 00:38:33,840
Speaker 1: of like, now you have to keep a secret from

802
00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:36,839
Speaker 1: your mom. Yeah, and your aunt and your kid.

803
00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:39,239
Speaker 2: It's just it sucks, and your mom coming at you

804
00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:43,200
Speaker 2: for the it's just not fair. Update four. I sat

805
00:38:43,239 --> 00:38:45,560
Speaker 2: down and had a talk with my mom. I said

806
00:38:45,719 --> 00:38:48,160
Speaker 2: I was tired of being treated like the bad guy

807
00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:51,399
Speaker 2: and blamed for my aunt's behavior. I said it felt

808
00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:54,759
Speaker 2: like she was always choosing my aunt over me, and

809
00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:56,839
Speaker 2: it hurt when she blew up at me. My mom

810
00:38:56,920 --> 00:38:59,600
Speaker 2: apologized for blowing up at me and forcing me to

811
00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:02,399
Speaker 2: keep in contact with my aunt. She said I could

812
00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:04,760
Speaker 2: block my aunt if I wanted, and that her sister

813
00:39:04,920 --> 00:39:07,080
Speaker 2: was out of line for yelling at me. She said

814
00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:10,200
Speaker 2: she just felt guilty and stressed about everything. I asked

815
00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:12,640
Speaker 2: her why she felt guilty, and she said she feels

816
00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:15,200
Speaker 2: bad that Chris doesn't have a father figure in his

817
00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:17,800
Speaker 2: life and that her sister isn't a very good parent.

818
00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:20,400
Speaker 2: I told her I understood. I also told her I

819
00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:23,320
Speaker 2: was worried that she could end up excluded from gatherings

820
00:39:23,560 --> 00:39:25,959
Speaker 2: like my aunt. She said she was planning on going

821
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:28,399
Speaker 2: low contact with my aunt. I asked if she told

822
00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:30,919
Speaker 2: my Aunt about the pool day, and she admitted she did.

823
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:33,200
Speaker 2: She said she didn't see a problem with it and

824
00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:35,919
Speaker 2: thought my Aunt knew. She didn't think my Aunt would

825
00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:39,759
Speaker 2: go nuclear over it. She apologized again, and I forgave her.

826
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:43,480
Speaker 2: We had an intervention yesterday with my Aunt. When she arrived,

827
00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:47,760
Speaker 2: she wasn't happy, but my grandparents asked her to please listen.

828
00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:50,960
Speaker 2: Everyone told her they were worried for Chris and his

829
00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:54,200
Speaker 2: future and that they didn't like how things had become

830
00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:57,520
Speaker 2: and how far the family was being pulled apart. They

831
00:39:57,640 --> 00:40:00,439
Speaker 2: also asked my aunt why she was so against getting

832
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:03,640
Speaker 2: Chris tested. She said she was worried that everyone would

833
00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:06,360
Speaker 2: see him differently and that he would lose his friends.

834
00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:09,440
Speaker 1: Oh my god, wake up and smell the roses, girl.

835
00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:13,000
Speaker 1: They already look at him differently, and he's already lost

836
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:17,040
Speaker 1: all of his cousins because of your refusal to help him.

837
00:40:17,239 --> 00:40:20,160
Speaker 2: Right. My Grandma told her that it could help Chris

838
00:40:20,239 --> 00:40:22,600
Speaker 2: and make things easier for both of them in the

839
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:25,560
Speaker 2: long run. My Aunt thought about it, and she agreed

840
00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:26,360
Speaker 2: to get him tested.

841
00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:27,240
Speaker 1: Good.

842
00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:30,040
Speaker 2: She said she was sorry for the drama Chris caused

843
00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:32,759
Speaker 2: during the Easter egg hunt, and she even made Chris

844
00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:36,440
Speaker 2: apologize to me and my younger cousins. My aunt also

845
00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:38,600
Speaker 2: agreed that she would start being a better parent.

846
00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:40,239
Speaker 1: Good things are happening like this.

847
00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:46,160
Speaker 2: I like that a lot. I'm so happy. Intervention good, good, good,

848
00:40:46,520 --> 00:40:48,960
Speaker 2: A little bit left. My Aunt Bella said she was

849
00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:51,880
Speaker 2: proud of her for stepping up. My grandma said she

850
00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:55,000
Speaker 2: was happy that everyone was getting along again. The topic

851
00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:57,920
Speaker 2: of Thanksgiving came up, and my Grandma said she'd host

852
00:40:58,080 --> 00:41:02,040
Speaker 2: and that everyone was invited in, including Aunt Lucy and Chris.

853
00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:05,800
Speaker 2: Everyone is excited and looking forward to it. I'm happy

854
00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:08,480
Speaker 2: my family is back to normal and there isn't any

855
00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:11,880
Speaker 2: stress anymore. Everyone is glad my aunt is finally stepping

856
00:41:11,960 --> 00:41:14,480
Speaker 2: up and being a parent and getting Chris the help

857
00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:16,640
Speaker 2: he needs. Yes, the end of that story.

858
00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:21,279
Speaker 1: My wife's lockdown affair ruined our family, but now I'm

859
00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:22,560
Speaker 1: the happiest I've ever been.

860
00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:25,480
Speaker 2: Well, that's not how you're supposed to quarantine.

861
00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:29,240
Speaker 1: My ex wife and I were together for eighteen years,

862
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:32,600
Speaker 1: married for eleven, with two kids aged seven and twelve.

863
00:41:32,719 --> 00:41:35,080
Speaker 1: She wasn't in a good place because of the lockdown,

864
00:41:35,120 --> 00:41:38,799
Speaker 1: her life had changed completely. She's an outgoing person with

865
00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:42,840
Speaker 1: many outdoor activities. Acting lessons that's an indoor activity. Dance

866
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:46,760
Speaker 1: lessons usually also an indoor activity. Going out with friends.

867
00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:48,879
Speaker 1: Either or she needed that.

868
00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:51,520
Speaker 2: Stuff, didn't we all though?

869
00:41:51,960 --> 00:41:55,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think everyone cheated on their partner just because.

870
00:41:55,560 --> 00:41:58,239
Speaker 2: They liked outdoor indoor activity.

871
00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:02,200
Speaker 1: Yeah. By the way, this comes from user Purkis And

872
00:42:02,239 --> 00:42:03,719
Speaker 1: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

873
00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:06,480
Speaker 1: the our slash Okay storytime suburb. I'm Dakota, I'm Krly,

874
00:42:06,719 --> 00:42:08,720
Speaker 1: and we are here to give you good advice. Goofly,

875
00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:10,319
Speaker 1: But we don't have all the answers. We only know

876
00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:12,120
Speaker 1: what we would do, so if you would do something different,

877
00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:14,560
Speaker 1: let us know in the comments. As Op says, her

878
00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:18,600
Speaker 1: social battery charged with people. I'm the opposite. My social

879
00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:21,919
Speaker 1: battery drains when I'm around people. We were fined that way.

880
00:42:22,280 --> 00:42:24,719
Speaker 1: She had her activities. I had my gaming nights and

881
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:29,360
Speaker 1: on weekends we saw people. Everything was balanced until lockdown.

882
00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:32,880
Speaker 1: No more acting lessons, no more dance, no more parties.

883
00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:35,439
Speaker 1: She was trapped in the house and with work from home,

884
00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:38,320
Speaker 1: she didn't see anyone except me and the boys for months.

885
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:41,440
Speaker 1: Then lockdown lifted a little and we could see people again.

886
00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:44,799
Speaker 1: We helped the friend move, and that's where she saw

887
00:42:44,840 --> 00:42:48,279
Speaker 1: an acquaintance. There was a spark. I think she saw

888
00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:51,840
Speaker 1: a way to be free, so to speak. Again. On

889
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:54,759
Speaker 1: January thirty first, twenty twenty one, she fell in love

890
00:42:54,880 --> 00:42:58,200
Speaker 1: with another guy. That's when she started to trick me.

891
00:42:59,440 --> 00:43:02,480
Speaker 1: She invited her side piece and the friend we helped

892
00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:05,600
Speaker 1: move for dinner. While I chatted with our friend, she

893
00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:11,399
Speaker 1: was in another room making out with him. What YO

894
00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:16,640
Speaker 1: the same time? Yoh, you're being very kind to your

895
00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:21,399
Speaker 1: ex I hope ex wife NS. Yeah, you're being very

896
00:43:21,520 --> 00:43:26,480
Speaker 1: kind to your ex wife. Wow. She invited him several

897
00:43:26,560 --> 00:43:29,440
Speaker 1: times for game nights, always with another friend, so I

898
00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:33,560
Speaker 1: didn't suspect anything. This went on until April, when out

899
00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:35,279
Speaker 1: of the blue, she told me she wasn't in love

900
00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:38,439
Speaker 1: with me anymore. She still liked me. I was still

901
00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:41,680
Speaker 1: her best friend, her first love, the father of her children,

902
00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:45,920
Speaker 1: but not her lover anymore. I proposed seeing a therapist

903
00:43:45,960 --> 00:43:48,160
Speaker 1: to get their to sort things out. I even offered

904
00:43:48,200 --> 00:43:49,960
Speaker 1: to move out and find a rental while we tried

905
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:53,439
Speaker 1: to make things work. She accepted two weeks later, while

906
00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:56,120
Speaker 1: on a short vacation with her family. I discovered the truth.

907
00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:59,479
Speaker 1: She had a notification late at night while sleeping next

908
00:43:59,480 --> 00:44:01,600
Speaker 1: to me. The light on her phone annoyed me, so

909
00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:03,680
Speaker 1: I grabbed it to turn it off. It was a

910
00:44:03,719 --> 00:44:08,400
Speaker 1: WhatsApp message from Sheila saying good night my love, in

911
00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:11,600
Speaker 1: response to a selfie saying good night, I love you.

912
00:44:12,280 --> 00:44:14,520
Speaker 1: I read a few messages, thinking it must be a mistake.

913
00:44:14,680 --> 00:44:19,640
Speaker 1: Then I saw a selfie of Sheila that effing man,

914
00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:23,640
Speaker 1: lots of pictures of them together, heart emojis everywhere. My

915
00:44:23,760 --> 00:44:28,640
Speaker 1: heart stopped. What was happening. Seconds later, she woke up

916
00:44:28,680 --> 00:44:31,400
Speaker 1: and frantically searched for her phone. I told her I

917
00:44:31,440 --> 00:44:34,400
Speaker 1: saw the messages and I knew she was cheating. She

918
00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:38,400
Speaker 1: started crying and I cheered her up. I still couldn't

919
00:44:38,400 --> 00:44:40,960
Speaker 1: believe what I saw. She was so sad. I had

920
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:43,520
Speaker 1: to do something. We spoke a little and I told

921
00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:46,000
Speaker 1: her to act like nothing happened until we were home

922
00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:50,560
Speaker 1: without the kids. Monday comes, we head back home. The

923
00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:53,040
Speaker 1: kids are still around, so we can't discuss it. But

924
00:44:53,120 --> 00:44:55,799
Speaker 1: I had access to her Google account. I checked your

925
00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:59,520
Speaker 1: location history. She spent almost every lunch in a park

926
00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:02,800
Speaker 1: with him. She spent the afternoon of our youngest birthday

927
00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:05,480
Speaker 1: with him at a spa after telling me she couldn't

928
00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:07,920
Speaker 1: get the day off. She spent nights with him when

929
00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:12,200
Speaker 1: she told me she was with a friend. So many lies. Yeah, so,

930
00:45:12,360 --> 00:45:14,040
Speaker 1: I don't know what to call this.

931
00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:17,040
Speaker 2: You married of the earth.

932
00:45:17,400 --> 00:45:20,800
Speaker 1: Like I guess. At some point her brain just broke

933
00:45:21,120 --> 00:45:24,440
Speaker 1: and she was like, the only way I can feel

934
00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:27,880
Speaker 1: alive is to lie to the person who cares the

935
00:45:27,920 --> 00:45:28,640
Speaker 1: most about me.

936
00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:33,480
Speaker 2: Uh, your wife sucks and I'm so sorry.

937
00:45:33,880 --> 00:45:36,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think honestly, after all of the lies and deception,

938
00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:39,320
Speaker 1: it's divorce. O'clock. It's divorce o'clock.

939
00:45:39,840 --> 00:45:41,439
Speaker 2: He he look at the time.

940
00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:47,279
Speaker 1: Oh oh, it's uh, it says divorce. She wanted me

941
00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:50,640
Speaker 1: out of our house to make space for him. While

942
00:45:50,640 --> 00:45:54,080
Speaker 1: he was building their house. I saw bits and pieces

943
00:45:54,080 --> 00:45:56,839
Speaker 1: of chats where he showed her the plans. These are

944
00:45:56,880 --> 00:45:59,400
Speaker 1: the bedrooms for the kids, and what do you think

945
00:45:59,440 --> 00:46:02,480
Speaker 1: of this table? Oh my god, Oh my god. She

946
00:46:02,560 --> 00:46:05,560
Speaker 1: was gonna move in with him. I was fuming. I

947
00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:09,719
Speaker 1: wanted the full truth, so I blackmailed her. Um, either

948
00:46:09,760 --> 00:46:12,600
Speaker 1: you show me the WhatsApp messages and tell me everything,

949
00:46:12,719 --> 00:46:16,040
Speaker 1: or I publish a Facebook status identifying every friend we

950
00:46:16,160 --> 00:46:19,560
Speaker 1: have in common to announce that she was leaving because

951
00:46:19,600 --> 00:46:20,879
Speaker 1: she cheated on me with him.

952
00:46:21,400 --> 00:46:23,319
Speaker 2: Okay, so let's not do that.

953
00:46:23,640 --> 00:46:27,360
Speaker 1: Actually, no, I'm actually I'm for that. Let's get MESSI.

954
00:46:27,880 --> 00:46:29,600
Speaker 1: She knew I would do it, so she told me.

955
00:46:30,080 --> 00:46:33,880
Speaker 1: She showed me everything. I didn't remove her from the house,

956
00:46:34,080 --> 00:46:37,440
Speaker 1: but I did remove her from the bedroom. After I

957
00:46:37,520 --> 00:46:40,839
Speaker 1: regained composure, we talked. I told her I wanted her

958
00:46:40,880 --> 00:46:43,080
Speaker 1: out as soon as possible, but we couldn't tell the

959
00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:46,319
Speaker 1: boys yet. The oldest had important tests coming up, and

960
00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:48,719
Speaker 1: I knew he would be so devastated it could ruin

961
00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:51,560
Speaker 1: his school year. These tests would determine if he could

962
00:46:51,600 --> 00:46:54,839
Speaker 1: go to a sort of junior high school. She spent

963
00:46:54,880 --> 00:46:57,360
Speaker 1: her nights in our spare bedroom, waking up early to

964
00:46:57,400 --> 00:46:59,600
Speaker 1: be ready before the kids every morning so they wouldn't

965
00:46:59,640 --> 00:47:03,239
Speaker 1: realize we didn't share a room. On July first, she

966
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:05,799
Speaker 1: left the house to rent something while the kids were

967
00:47:05,800 --> 00:47:08,840
Speaker 1: in summer camp. We told them when they came back.

968
00:47:09,239 --> 00:47:11,480
Speaker 1: Since then, they spend a week with me, then a

969
00:47:11,480 --> 00:47:16,320
Speaker 1: week with her and the side. Peace. We are at peace,

970
00:47:17,080 --> 00:47:19,960
Speaker 1: no war between us. I hate all the lies, but

971
00:47:20,120 --> 00:47:23,640
Speaker 1: I can't hate her for falling in love. We're still friends,

972
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:26,160
Speaker 1: but I don't trust her anymore. I can't say I'm

973
00:47:26,160 --> 00:47:30,160
Speaker 1: feeling fine, but I'm mostly okay. I've got good friends around.

974
00:47:30,200 --> 00:47:32,640
Speaker 1: I love my kids and they love me too. I'm

975
00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:36,120
Speaker 1: still single, but I feel ready to meet someone. On

976
00:47:36,160 --> 00:47:39,799
Speaker 1: her side. Apparently things are not quite so fine. But

977
00:47:40,200 --> 00:47:42,160
Speaker 1: that's not my problem. As long as the kids are

978
00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:45,040
Speaker 1: okay and there is an update, yeah, emphasis on, as

979
00:47:45,080 --> 00:47:46,160
Speaker 1: long as the kids are okay.

980
00:47:46,440 --> 00:47:54,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm like, wow, wow, how awful she is, like

981
00:47:54,400 --> 00:47:57,279
Speaker 3: in your own house, really weirdly to just have like

982
00:47:58,320 --> 00:48:02,239
Speaker 3: fake game nights so she can be in the other room.

983
00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:06,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, and just make out with this dude. She didn't

984
00:48:06,280 --> 00:48:08,719
Speaker 1: fall in love with him. She got infatuated with an

985
00:48:08,760 --> 00:48:11,480
Speaker 1: idea that she could escape her own life by becoming

986
00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:13,160
Speaker 1: engrossed in someone else's.

987
00:48:13,360 --> 00:48:16,000
Speaker 2: She thinks that's gonna give her the freedom from being

988
00:48:16,040 --> 00:48:17,440
Speaker 2: trapped in her house and it's not.

989
00:48:19,120 --> 00:48:22,200
Speaker 1: Yep. Well, this week has been one of the best

990
00:48:22,200 --> 00:48:27,160
Speaker 1: weeks of my life. I received the divorce papers this Monday, huzzah.

991
00:48:27,920 --> 00:48:30,799
Speaker 1: They'll be signed by the end of the month. Wednesday,

992
00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:34,040
Speaker 1: I made some cooking and sent pictures to a bunch

993
00:48:34,080 --> 00:48:36,880
Speaker 1: of friends. One of these friends, fairly new in my circle,

994
00:48:36,920 --> 00:48:40,279
Speaker 1: commented about how good it looked. I invited her over

995
00:48:40,320 --> 00:48:43,960
Speaker 1: as a joke, Well kind of. I have a crush,

996
00:48:44,280 --> 00:48:46,120
Speaker 1: but she's far younger than me, so I thought she'd

997
00:48:46,160 --> 00:48:46,840
Speaker 1: stay a friend.

998
00:48:47,360 --> 00:48:49,600
Speaker 2: She give you dead end? You know what you are doing?

999
00:48:49,800 --> 00:48:52,120
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think after being married for so long,

1000
00:48:52,160 --> 00:48:54,560
Speaker 1: you probably do, like completely lose your ability to do

1001
00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:55,240
Speaker 1: this kind of stuff.

1002
00:48:55,280 --> 00:48:58,080
Speaker 2: But like, I had a crush, so I invited over

1003
00:48:58,480 --> 00:48:59,640
Speaker 2: just as a friend.

1004
00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:05,280
Speaker 1: Though, yeah, just as haha. Ah, what if I'd cooked

1005
00:49:05,280 --> 00:49:08,920
Speaker 1: for you every night and you lived here. She came

1006
00:49:08,960 --> 00:49:11,640
Speaker 1: over to eat with me. We talked and it felt

1007
00:49:11,680 --> 00:49:15,200
Speaker 1: so natural. Everything clicked. We were at the right place

1008
00:49:15,239 --> 00:49:16,920
Speaker 1: at the right time. She stayed the night with me.

1009
00:49:17,040 --> 00:49:22,520
Speaker 1: We talked, cuddled, talked, and slept a little. Update number two, Hey,

1010
00:49:22,640 --> 00:49:25,480
Speaker 1: I met an incredible girl and we spent an incredible

1011
00:49:25,520 --> 00:49:28,680
Speaker 1: week together. But as I stated, she's far younger, and

1012
00:49:28,719 --> 00:49:31,120
Speaker 1: she got scared she couldn't find her place in my

1013
00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:34,400
Speaker 1: life with the kids and all I understand perfectly, and

1014
00:49:34,480 --> 00:49:37,319
Speaker 1: we're friends. We understand each other, and I'm glad I

1015
00:49:37,360 --> 00:49:40,360
Speaker 1: met her. It was such an ego boost and showed

1016
00:49:40,360 --> 00:49:42,239
Speaker 1: me that I can be happy with someone again, and

1017
00:49:42,280 --> 00:49:44,640
Speaker 1: that was one of the most important things I needed.

1018
00:49:45,360 --> 00:49:49,439
Speaker 1: And most of all, I am finally divorced. That's it.

1019
00:49:49,880 --> 00:49:51,960
Speaker 1: I received the paper signed by the judge on Monday,

1020
00:49:51,960 --> 00:49:53,400
Speaker 1: and all of a sudden, I feel so light and

1021
00:49:53,520 --> 00:49:57,080
Speaker 1: so free. But that's not all, you cheeky little bugger.

1022
00:49:57,160 --> 00:50:00,000
Speaker 1: You just told us that was it. Now you're safe.

1023
00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:05,920
Speaker 1: That's not at all that goodness. Oh, I'm really taking

1024
00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:08,360
Speaker 1: my life into my own hands. I realize now that

1025
00:50:08,400 --> 00:50:11,719
Speaker 1: I've always placed my ex first and almost never did

1026
00:50:11,719 --> 00:50:16,520
Speaker 1: anything for me. Third update on July first. It's been

1027
00:50:16,560 --> 00:50:20,160
Speaker 1: a year since she left home and frankly, it didn't

1028
00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:23,120
Speaker 1: matter to me. At first. I thought it would affect

1029
00:50:23,160 --> 00:50:27,080
Speaker 1: me somehow, but nope, nothing. It was a day like

1030
00:50:27,120 --> 00:50:30,439
Speaker 1: any other. I'm glad that I'm over this. We're still

1031
00:50:30,480 --> 00:50:33,239
Speaker 1: no contact except for the boys, and it's working well.

1032
00:50:33,680 --> 00:50:35,400
Speaker 1: She tried a few times to talk to me about

1033
00:50:35,440 --> 00:50:38,479
Speaker 1: other stuff happening to her, but she realized I didn't care,

1034
00:50:39,040 --> 00:50:39,880
Speaker 1: so she stopped.

1035
00:50:40,360 --> 00:50:42,719
Speaker 2: Good for you, dude, Yeah, that's the best way to

1036
00:50:42,760 --> 00:50:45,680
Speaker 2: go about it, too, Like, oh cool, I really don't

1037
00:50:45,680 --> 00:50:47,359
Speaker 2: care about your life. You cheated on me.

1038
00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:50,319
Speaker 1: Yeah. I imagine she's reaching out trying to be like God,

1039
00:50:50,400 --> 00:50:52,680
Speaker 1: things have been hard, like I don't know like things are,

1040
00:50:52,960 --> 00:50:56,040
Speaker 1: and you're just like, yeah, what cool. I'm sorry. I

1041
00:50:56,160 --> 00:50:57,920
Speaker 1: was in the other room with the phone on speaker.

1042
00:50:57,960 --> 00:50:58,600
Speaker 1: What did you say?

1043
00:50:59,239 --> 00:51:02,160
Speaker 2: Oh, you're gonna tell me again? No? I actually I

1044
00:51:02,200 --> 00:51:04,080
Speaker 2: really didn't care. I'll leave the room again.

1045
00:51:05,400 --> 00:51:07,759
Speaker 1: So I don't know anything about her life, and I'm

1046
00:51:07,800 --> 00:51:10,520
Speaker 1: cool with that. As for me, I got my tattoo.

1047
00:51:11,440 --> 00:51:14,280
Speaker 1: It's amazing and I can't wait to have the others.

1048
00:51:14,440 --> 00:51:17,240
Speaker 1: I'm hooked. It's like I'm taking control of myself, my body,

1049
00:51:17,280 --> 00:51:20,040
Speaker 1: and my mind again. I'm screaming too the world who

1050
00:51:20,080 --> 00:51:23,240
Speaker 1: I really am as myself, not as part of a couple.

1051
00:51:23,400 --> 00:51:28,040
Speaker 1: And there's another update. Good for uop, it is all good.

1052
00:51:28,440 --> 00:51:32,120
Speaker 1: I'm liking this. So since the last update, I finished

1053
00:51:32,120 --> 00:51:39,840
Speaker 1: and published my first book, Oh oh, brah, book titled

1054
00:51:39,920 --> 00:51:42,080
Speaker 1: How to Move On from Your Terrible.

1055
00:51:41,719 --> 00:51:43,200
Speaker 2: Ex Through Tattoos.

1056
00:51:43,320 --> 00:51:46,919
Speaker 1: I'm close to finishing the second one now. Ooh. I've

1057
00:51:46,960 --> 00:51:49,800
Speaker 1: been contacted by local journalists to talk about my book.

1058
00:51:49,920 --> 00:51:50,480
Speaker 2: Yeah you have.

1059
00:51:50,880 --> 00:51:53,080
Speaker 1: I'm now the only owner of my house and paying

1060
00:51:53,160 --> 00:51:55,479
Speaker 1: less for the mortgage. Yeah you are I've been given

1061
00:51:55,480 --> 00:51:56,439
Speaker 1: a raise at my job.

1062
00:51:56,600 --> 00:51:57,120
Speaker 2: Yeah you were.

1063
00:51:57,560 --> 00:52:00,120
Speaker 1: I thought that my ex wife was the one, but now, oh,

1064
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:02,640
Speaker 1: I see. I was in such a toxic relationship that

1065
00:52:02,680 --> 00:52:05,560
Speaker 1: I was blind. The fact that she cheated and left

1066
00:52:05,680 --> 00:52:07,640
Speaker 1: me was maybe one of the best things that could

1067
00:52:07,640 --> 00:52:12,640
Speaker 1: have happened. I found the love of my life. Ooh,

1068
00:52:12,719 --> 00:52:13,800
Speaker 1: this is so good.

1069
00:52:14,400 --> 00:52:15,560
Speaker 2: Ophe.

1070
00:52:16,080 --> 00:52:18,839
Speaker 1: We met on multiple occasions, but never really talked until

1071
00:52:18,880 --> 00:52:20,960
Speaker 1: one evening when my best friend called to invite me

1072
00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:24,880
Speaker 1: to a show. He invited her too. He played Cupid

1073
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:27,120
Speaker 1: leaving the phone call, so the two of us kept

1074
00:52:27,200 --> 00:52:28,560
Speaker 1: talking and we have an.

1075
00:52:28,480 --> 00:52:30,919
Speaker 2: Easy, bitsy little bit of story left here.

1076
00:52:31,440 --> 00:52:35,360
Speaker 1: I don't even have anything to say other than it, Yeah, your.

1077
00:52:35,239 --> 00:52:40,040
Speaker 2: Life sounds pretty great, Opie. Ye look at you doing

1078
00:52:40,040 --> 00:52:40,399
Speaker 2: the thing.

1079
00:52:40,640 --> 00:52:46,360
Speaker 1: If I had the airhorn, I'd go boo. She is

1080
00:52:46,400 --> 00:52:49,439
Speaker 1: all I needed, all I wanted. We have so much

1081
00:52:49,480 --> 00:52:53,319
Speaker 1: in common. It's incredible how compatible we are. We love

1082
00:52:53,360 --> 00:52:56,600
Speaker 1: the same music, the same movies, the same food. She's

1083
00:52:56,680 --> 00:52:59,879
Speaker 1: kind and caring. I didn't know that someone could take

1084
00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:02,160
Speaker 1: care of me the same way I take care of her.

1085
00:53:02,520 --> 00:53:05,279
Speaker 1: I'm not used to it, but I like it. I

1086
00:53:05,360 --> 00:53:08,920
Speaker 1: feel so good. I lived my life one day at

1087
00:53:08,920 --> 00:53:11,359
Speaker 1: a time, trying to be there for my kids when

1088
00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:13,480
Speaker 1: they were home and trying to survive the week when

1089
00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:17,080
Speaker 1: they were not. Now I see a future, a future

1090
00:53:17,120 --> 00:53:20,120
Speaker 1: full of love and laughter and all the best things

1091
00:53:20,160 --> 00:53:25,640
Speaker 1: in life. And that's the end of that story. Yeah, yeah,

1092
00:53:25,800 --> 00:53:29,760
Speaker 1: you know what. Thank you Op's terrible ex for cheating

1093
00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:33,480
Speaker 1: on him so he could become the best version of himself.

1094
00:53:33,760 --> 00:53:36,600
Speaker 2: I love a little happy ending, and.

1095
00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:40,279
Speaker 1: That is the end of that story. John here og host.

1096
00:53:40,360 --> 00:53:42,040
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to these stories, but a quick

1097
00:53:42,080 --> 00:53:44,080
Speaker 1: three minute break from hops from our sponsors.

1098
00:53:44,360 --> 00:53:48,439
Speaker 2: My wife cheated and now uses our kids to keep

1099
00:53:48,480 --> 00:53:49,360
Speaker 2: me from leaving.

1100
00:53:49,640 --> 00:53:53,560
Speaker 1: That should be illegal. I want to put her in jail.

1101
00:53:53,800 --> 00:53:57,200
Speaker 2: I'm forty five male and my wife is forty female.

1102
00:53:57,520 --> 00:54:02,440
Speaker 2: We've been married for nine years and together for about fifteen.

1103
00:54:03,160 --> 00:54:06,840
Speaker 2: We have two beautiful kids, a son seven and a

1104
00:54:06,960 --> 00:54:10,160
Speaker 2: daughter four. By the way, this comes from moving on

1105
00:54:10,320 --> 00:54:13,280
Speaker 2: fifteen and if you want us to meet your own stories,

1106
00:54:13,320 --> 00:54:15,239
Speaker 2: go to the r slash Okay storytime sub reread it.

1107
00:54:15,320 --> 00:54:16,360
Speaker 1: I'm Carly, I'm.

1108
00:54:16,280 --> 00:54:19,480
Speaker 2: Dakota, and we're here to give good advice. Goofully, but

1109
00:54:19,560 --> 00:54:21,960
Speaker 2: we don't have all the answers. We only know what

1110
00:54:22,040 --> 00:54:24,200
Speaker 2: we would do such the way you would do in

1111
00:54:24,239 --> 00:54:28,040
Speaker 2: the comments, and Opie says. We met while living abroad,

1112
00:54:28,320 --> 00:54:31,439
Speaker 2: got married, had kids, and decided to move to her

1113
00:54:31,480 --> 00:54:35,040
Speaker 2: country about two years ago to be closer to her parents.

1114
00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:38,759
Speaker 2: I work remotely, so it wasn't a big deal. I

1115
00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:43,080
Speaker 2: developed a Devil's lettuce regular use as a coping method

1116
00:54:43,360 --> 00:54:46,200
Speaker 2: for work stress, and thought the move would help me

1117
00:54:46,280 --> 00:54:49,879
Speaker 2: break the habit. It worked. I've been clean for two

1118
00:54:49,920 --> 00:54:52,719
Speaker 2: years and don't even want to smell this stuff anymore.

1119
00:54:53,320 --> 00:54:55,560
Speaker 2: Moving to a new country where you don't speak the

1120
00:54:55,640 --> 00:54:59,000
Speaker 2: language has been tough. While I've been learning, I'm not

1121
00:54:59,160 --> 00:55:01,600
Speaker 2: at a level where I can speak with people I meet.

1122
00:55:02,080 --> 00:55:04,839
Speaker 2: This has caused me to feel pretty isolated since I

1123
00:55:04,920 --> 00:55:08,239
Speaker 2: don't have a social network here. My wife has a

1124
00:55:08,320 --> 00:55:11,360
Speaker 2: large circle of friends, so she doesn't feel the isolation

1125
00:55:11,480 --> 00:55:14,279
Speaker 2: that I do. For the most part, I thought our

1126
00:55:14,320 --> 00:55:17,080
Speaker 2: marriage was good, although after the kids were born I

1127
00:55:17,160 --> 00:55:21,200
Speaker 2: became neglectful of her. In December twenty twenty three, my

1128
00:55:21,320 --> 00:55:24,239
Speaker 2: wife went for an operation while I was away with

1129
00:55:24,280 --> 00:55:27,080
Speaker 2: my son. When we got back about a week later,

1130
00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:31,000
Speaker 2: she started complaining about chest pains. I tried to help,

1131
00:55:31,080 --> 00:55:35,040
Speaker 2: thinking it could be wind or indigestion, but she pushed

1132
00:55:35,040 --> 00:55:37,759
Speaker 2: me away and told me to leave her alone. I

1133
00:55:37,920 --> 00:55:40,200
Speaker 2: checked on her during the night. It turned out she

1134
00:55:40,280 --> 00:55:43,920
Speaker 2: had a bad chest infection, which she got treated. She

1135
00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:46,719
Speaker 2: had always gone out to meet friends in the evenings,

1136
00:55:46,880 --> 00:55:51,080
Speaker 2: but after this she started doing it more often. In January,

1137
00:55:51,200 --> 00:55:54,520
Speaker 2: she went out and got home at three am. This

1138
00:55:54,640 --> 00:55:57,160
Speaker 2: bothered me since she'd never come home this late before.

1139
00:55:57,840 --> 00:56:01,080
Speaker 2: She started becoming distant with me, and I found out

1140
00:56:01,120 --> 00:56:03,720
Speaker 2: that one of her friends was a married man having

1141
00:56:03,800 --> 00:56:04,960
Speaker 2: trouble in his marriage.

1142
00:56:05,040 --> 00:56:09,719
Speaker 1: Oh hey, what color is that flag? Kids? Can we

1143
00:56:09,760 --> 00:56:13,319
Speaker 1: all see what color that flag is?

1144
00:56:13,719 --> 00:56:15,000
Speaker 2: Can you tell me what color?

1145
00:56:15,160 --> 00:56:20,719
Speaker 1: That is? The color of her chair? Of my curtain? Red?

1146
00:56:22,040 --> 00:56:23,879
Speaker 3: Raw red?

1147
00:56:24,520 --> 00:56:27,359
Speaker 2: H This made me suspicious, and I did all the

1148
00:56:27,360 --> 00:56:31,360
Speaker 2: things a suspicious partner does, checked her phone and tractor

1149
00:56:32,239 --> 00:56:35,640
Speaker 2: during my investigation. Now, o PI, I'm gonna pause her

1150
00:56:35,680 --> 00:56:39,040
Speaker 2: fast because another another little little thing that you could

1151
00:56:39,080 --> 00:56:41,759
Speaker 2: do first, to have a conversation.

1152
00:56:42,480 --> 00:56:45,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, but we start with conversation.

1153
00:56:45,520 --> 00:56:47,520
Speaker 2: Uh, but no, we skip that part. And that's that's

1154
00:56:47,520 --> 00:56:49,080
Speaker 2: fine at this point because I know the title and

1155
00:56:49,120 --> 00:56:52,120
Speaker 2: I don't really care about her at the moment. During

1156
00:56:52,120 --> 00:56:55,080
Speaker 2: my investigation, I found out that she'd been going to

1157
00:56:55,160 --> 00:56:59,000
Speaker 2: the parking lot of the guy's workplace. After more digging,

1158
00:56:59,239 --> 00:57:02,280
Speaker 2: I discovered they had been making out in the car.

1159
00:57:03,440 --> 00:57:05,799
Speaker 2: I told her she needed to stop seeing him, and

1160
00:57:05,840 --> 00:57:09,320
Speaker 2: she said that she had, but I found out she hadn't.

1161
00:57:10,000 --> 00:57:12,480
Speaker 2: I also made it clear I was uncomfortable with her

1162
00:57:12,520 --> 00:57:15,520
Speaker 2: going out with these friends, to which she said, do

1163
00:57:15,560 --> 00:57:17,880
Speaker 2: we need to get divorced so I can be free?

1164
00:57:18,600 --> 00:57:21,600
Speaker 1: Oh? Wow, that's the moment where I go, Okay, yeah,

1165
00:57:21,680 --> 00:57:22,920
Speaker 1: we can do that. Goodbye.

1166
00:57:23,240 --> 00:57:25,800
Speaker 2: Sorry he didn't feel didn't know you feel so tied

1167
00:57:25,880 --> 00:57:27,680
Speaker 2: down in this relationship.

1168
00:57:27,360 --> 00:57:29,440
Speaker 1: So you can be free to what make out with

1169
00:57:29,640 --> 00:57:34,680
Speaker 1: other people? Sorry, I lose what are we talking about?

1170
00:57:34,800 --> 00:57:37,720
Speaker 2: She then started saying we should separate or divorce because

1171
00:57:37,720 --> 00:57:41,480
Speaker 2: she wasn't happy and hadn't been happy for fifteen years wow,

1172
00:57:41,800 --> 00:57:44,920
Speaker 2: which she later changed to ten whatever. She said she

1173
00:57:44,960 --> 00:57:47,240
Speaker 2: didn't want to do marriage counseling, and then I should

1174
00:57:47,280 --> 00:57:50,280
Speaker 2: do counseling on my own. She said a lot of

1175
00:57:50,320 --> 00:57:53,240
Speaker 2: other things over the last few months. I don't fulfill

1176
00:57:53,280 --> 00:57:58,080
Speaker 2: her emotionally, mentally or physically. I repulse her. I don't

1177
00:57:58,120 --> 00:58:00,440
Speaker 2: make her happy, I don't listen to her. I put

1178
00:58:00,480 --> 00:58:02,920
Speaker 2: her down I don't bring out the best in her.

1179
00:58:03,120 --> 00:58:07,160
Speaker 2: I'm controlling and that if it wasn't this guy, it

1180
00:58:07,160 --> 00:58:08,600
Speaker 2: would just be another guy.

1181
00:58:09,440 --> 00:58:09,840
Speaker 1: Wow.

1182
00:58:10,320 --> 00:58:13,080
Speaker 2: I've always tried to support her and everything she does.

1183
00:58:13,440 --> 00:58:16,920
Speaker 2: I've never stopped her from going out or interrogated her

1184
00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:20,240
Speaker 2: about where she's been or who she's been with. Only

1185
00:58:20,320 --> 00:58:22,520
Speaker 2: now that I know about the affair have I become

1186
00:58:22,560 --> 00:58:25,760
Speaker 2: more aware of things. When she said we should separate

1187
00:58:25,840 --> 00:58:28,600
Speaker 2: or divorce, she offered to help me find a flat

1188
00:58:28,640 --> 00:58:31,600
Speaker 2: in her country so we could co parent. I said

1189
00:58:31,600 --> 00:58:34,200
Speaker 2: if that happened, I'd leave the country since there would

1190
00:58:34,200 --> 00:58:36,880
Speaker 2: be nothing keeping me here apart from the kids, and

1191
00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:40,480
Speaker 2: we'd co parent long distance. This angered her, and she

1192
00:58:40,640 --> 00:58:43,200
Speaker 2: tried to use the kids to force me to stay.

1193
00:58:43,760 --> 00:58:46,360
Speaker 2: When that didn't work, she agreed to marriage counseling.

1194
00:58:47,080 --> 00:58:50,800
Speaker 1: Oh no, don't fall for that. If this is not

1195
00:58:50,880 --> 00:58:51,400
Speaker 1: going to work.

1196
00:58:51,920 --> 00:58:54,320
Speaker 2: We've had a few sessions and I've been working on

1197
00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:57,880
Speaker 2: my issues. Apparently I'm too dependent on her, which I

1198
00:58:57,920 --> 00:59:01,600
Speaker 2: don't think I am. I just have no social circle here,

1199
00:59:01,640 --> 00:59:04,920
Speaker 2: but I'm making friends slowly. I have been neglectful, but

1200
00:59:05,120 --> 00:59:07,800
Speaker 2: if she was that unhappy, she should have divorced me

1201
00:59:08,040 --> 00:59:09,520
Speaker 2: rather than having an affair.

1202
00:59:09,480 --> 00:59:11,600
Speaker 1: Or I don't know, had a single conversation with you

1203
00:59:11,640 --> 00:59:14,160
Speaker 1: about it before she goes and makes out and has

1204
00:59:14,200 --> 00:59:15,480
Speaker 1: an affair with some other dude.

1205
00:59:15,520 --> 00:59:18,120
Speaker 2: Because I'm also like, if your partner is moving to

1206
00:59:18,320 --> 00:59:23,000
Speaker 2: your home country who doesn't speak the language, one, hopefully

1207
00:59:23,240 --> 00:59:26,440
Speaker 2: they're trying to learn the language. But in that process

1208
00:59:26,480 --> 00:59:29,800
Speaker 2: of them trying to learn, like you kind of have

1209
00:59:29,960 --> 00:59:32,560
Speaker 2: to be there to help them understand what's going on,

1210
00:59:32,840 --> 00:59:36,120
Speaker 2: And like why wasn't why is an op going out

1211
00:59:36,160 --> 00:59:37,800
Speaker 2: when she goes out with her friends, Like why are

1212
00:59:37,840 --> 00:59:41,560
Speaker 2: those not kind of becoming a gateway to becoming O

1213
00:59:41,680 --> 00:59:45,000
Speaker 2: piece friends too? Yeah, he doesn't know anybody, and that

1214
00:59:45,040 --> 00:59:47,240
Speaker 2: seems like a pretty easy one to be like, oh

1215
00:59:47,240 --> 00:59:48,840
Speaker 2: my god, you don't know anyone, and I know these

1216
00:59:48,880 --> 00:59:51,000
Speaker 2: pretty cool people that you want to meet them, and

1217
00:59:51,040 --> 00:59:51,479
Speaker 2: like I.

1218
00:59:51,480 --> 00:59:55,200
Speaker 1: Have a friend, they can be your friends unless you

1219
00:59:55,360 --> 00:59:57,440
Speaker 1: just hate him, Like at least give.

1220
00:59:57,320 --> 01:00:01,680
Speaker 2: It a go. You know, you know, I have been neglectful,

1221
01:00:01,840 --> 01:00:04,560
Speaker 2: But if she was that unhappy, she should have divorced

1222
01:00:04,600 --> 01:00:08,160
Speaker 2: me rather than having an affair. She shows no remorse

1223
01:00:08,320 --> 01:00:10,800
Speaker 2: and has said she doesn't want to work on the marriage.

1224
01:00:11,480 --> 01:00:13,880
Speaker 2: I think she thought the counseling would force me to

1225
01:00:13,880 --> 01:00:17,160
Speaker 2: stay in her country if we divorced, but the counselor

1226
01:00:17,200 --> 01:00:20,320
Speaker 2: said it's my choice. I don't want to leave my kids.

1227
01:00:20,480 --> 01:00:23,760
Speaker 2: But I get the impression that even with counseling, this

1228
01:00:23,840 --> 01:00:26,960
Speaker 2: situation won't improve. Yes, she already told you it wouldn't it.

1229
01:00:27,160 --> 01:00:28,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm being.

1230
01:00:28,520 --> 01:00:32,120
Speaker 2: Hit with the constant barrage of verbal and emotional abuse.

1231
01:00:32,680 --> 01:00:36,800
Speaker 2: My self esteem has taken a significant hit, and she

1232
01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:39,880
Speaker 2: still speaks with the affair partner, although she denies it.

1233
01:00:40,400 --> 01:00:43,240
Speaker 2: In our third session, she said she would feel better

1234
01:00:43,320 --> 01:00:45,320
Speaker 2: if I wasn't in the same bed with her, so

1235
01:00:45,400 --> 01:00:48,800
Speaker 2: I'm now on the sofa. After the last session, she

1236
01:00:48,920 --> 01:00:50,960
Speaker 2: started telling me I'd have to get a bed in

1237
01:00:51,080 --> 01:00:54,240
Speaker 2: my office, which signals to me that this isn't temporary.

1238
01:00:54,880 --> 01:00:58,480
Speaker 2: I'm starting to think there's no chance for reconciliation. I've

1239
01:00:58,520 --> 01:01:01,320
Speaker 2: reached out to a lawyer to under stand my rights.

1240
01:01:01,640 --> 01:01:03,680
Speaker 2: I'm quite happy for her to keep the house in

1241
01:01:03,720 --> 01:01:06,680
Speaker 2: her country since we have another house we rent in

1242
01:01:06,720 --> 01:01:10,600
Speaker 2: my country, so I just moved there depasy. I've heard

1243
01:01:10,640 --> 01:01:12,840
Speaker 2: the advice that I should separate and stay here for

1244
01:01:12,880 --> 01:01:15,600
Speaker 2: the kids, but I won't be happy here, which will

1245
01:01:15,640 --> 01:01:18,760
Speaker 2: probably affect them. How far away are your countries though,

1246
01:01:18,760 --> 01:01:21,920
Speaker 2: because I bet long flights may also affect them. But

1247
01:01:22,000 --> 01:01:23,440
Speaker 2: I do agree if you guys got the house in

1248
01:01:23,480 --> 01:01:26,040
Speaker 2: your home one then could also be a cool chance

1249
01:01:26,080 --> 01:01:28,720
Speaker 2: for your kids to get to know your friends and

1250
01:01:28,760 --> 01:01:29,320
Speaker 2: family there.

1251
01:01:29,760 --> 01:01:31,800
Speaker 1: It's true, it's pros and cons.

1252
01:01:31,920 --> 01:01:34,480
Speaker 2: I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Advice

1253
01:01:34,600 --> 01:01:36,720
Speaker 2: is appreciated, and we have an update.

1254
01:01:37,520 --> 01:01:41,160
Speaker 1: Definitely leave your wife Lee, you cheated on you and

1255
01:01:41,640 --> 01:01:44,160
Speaker 1: like doesn't really care to fix it.

1256
01:01:44,600 --> 01:01:48,360
Speaker 2: Leave her and already said she'd do it again with

1257
01:01:48,640 --> 01:01:50,120
Speaker 2: any man that she met.

1258
01:01:50,320 --> 01:01:53,640
Speaker 1: And said she was like unhappy for ten years, which

1259
01:01:53,680 --> 01:01:56,480
Speaker 1: is quite a long time to keep your mouth absolutely

1260
01:01:56,520 --> 01:02:00,200
Speaker 1: shut and not talk about any of you issues. Genius.

1261
01:02:01,400 --> 01:02:04,600
Speaker 1: I think just consider the kids. Is the good? Is

1262
01:02:04,640 --> 01:02:07,120
Speaker 1: the golden egg? Move here, consider the kids. Do it's

1263
01:02:07,720 --> 01:02:09,920
Speaker 1: you know, do right by the kids, but also direct

1264
01:02:10,040 --> 01:02:10,640
Speaker 1: right by yourself.

1265
01:02:10,680 --> 01:02:11,680
Speaker 2: Do right by your kids.

1266
01:02:12,720 --> 01:02:13,120
Speaker 1: I don't know.

1267
01:02:13,840 --> 01:02:17,280
Speaker 2: Update. I've started planning for divorce since the situation hasn't

1268
01:02:17,280 --> 01:02:20,600
Speaker 2: improved and I don't see that it will. I've confronted

1269
01:02:20,640 --> 01:02:23,920
Speaker 2: my wife about the sleeping arrangements and lack of intimacy.

1270
01:02:24,360 --> 01:02:27,680
Speaker 2: She thinks that because other married people sleep in separate rooms.

1271
01:02:27,880 --> 01:02:30,960
Speaker 2: It's okay that we do too, and we should just

1272
01:02:31,000 --> 01:02:35,000
Speaker 2: continue to cohabitate and co parent. During this argument, I

1273
01:02:35,120 --> 01:02:37,800
Speaker 2: was called evil and told I should think about what's

1274
01:02:37,840 --> 01:02:41,040
Speaker 2: important to me, the implication being that the kids should

1275
01:02:41,080 --> 01:02:45,760
Speaker 2: be important, and spicy sleep and intimacy aren't. She's obviously

1276
01:02:45,800 --> 01:02:48,320
Speaker 2: happy with the situation because she gets to carry on

1277
01:02:48,400 --> 01:02:51,480
Speaker 2: living her life as if nothing's wrong, gets to go

1278
01:02:51,560 --> 01:02:54,560
Speaker 2: out whenever she wants, since I'm here with no social

1279
01:02:54,600 --> 01:02:57,880
Speaker 2: life to look after the kids, and probably because it

1280
01:02:57,920 --> 01:03:00,880
Speaker 2: makes it easier to contact her a fair partner, even

1281
01:03:00,920 --> 01:03:03,240
Speaker 2: though she says she has ended it with him, which

1282
01:03:03,320 --> 01:03:07,520
Speaker 2: I don't believe. While getting paperwork together, I found an

1283
01:03:07,560 --> 01:03:11,640
Speaker 2: in date pregnancy test. Although I probably shouldn't read much

1284
01:03:11,640 --> 01:03:14,040
Speaker 2: into it for my own mental health, it does make

1285
01:03:14,080 --> 01:03:16,480
Speaker 2: me think that her affair may have been more than

1286
01:03:16,600 --> 01:03:17,160
Speaker 2: just kissing.

1287
01:03:17,320 --> 01:03:20,680
Speaker 1: Oh we didn't already assume that. Yeah, I'm sorry, I

1288
01:03:20,800 --> 01:03:23,040
Speaker 1: was operating under that assumption.

1289
01:03:23,840 --> 01:03:26,520
Speaker 2: Also, for her to leave a pregnancy test where OPI

1290
01:03:26,600 --> 01:03:29,560
Speaker 2: found it presumably pretty easy wild.

1291
01:03:30,080 --> 01:03:32,240
Speaker 1: Maybe she's trying to manipulate him to get him to stay.

1292
01:03:32,440 --> 01:03:35,919
Speaker 2: Maybe I've got a lawyer's appointment booked for Friday, where

1293
01:03:35,920 --> 01:03:39,280
Speaker 2: I'll clarify the divorce process and start thinking about how

1294
01:03:39,360 --> 01:03:43,919
Speaker 2: to divide assets, savings, and pension. I'll also check how

1295
01:03:44,000 --> 01:03:47,520
Speaker 2: international custody arrangements work and see if I can do

1296
01:03:47,640 --> 01:03:50,400
Speaker 2: some or all of this through a mediator to cut

1297
01:03:50,440 --> 01:03:52,600
Speaker 2: down on fees. Next step will be to end the

1298
01:03:52,640 --> 01:03:55,760
Speaker 2: rental agreement, pack up my things and get them shipped.

1299
01:03:55,800 --> 01:03:58,480
Speaker 2: Since I really don't want to be in this toxic environment.

1300
01:03:58,840 --> 01:04:01,240
Speaker 2: With regards to the kids, I don't think it's good

1301
01:04:01,240 --> 01:04:03,480
Speaker 2: to have them see their father unhappy all the time,

1302
01:04:03,960 --> 01:04:06,600
Speaker 2: and to be honest, the way she's behaving, I think

1303
01:04:06,640 --> 01:04:09,400
Speaker 2: she'll try to accuse me of something. It's going to

1304
01:04:09,440 --> 01:04:12,560
Speaker 2: be hard leaving the kids, but life doesn't always turn

1305
01:04:12,600 --> 01:04:15,240
Speaker 2: out the way you think it will. I'll probably only

1306
01:04:15,240 --> 01:04:17,880
Speaker 2: see them on their birthdays and holidays, but I don't

1307
01:04:17,920 --> 01:04:19,000
Speaker 2: see a way around that.

1308
01:04:19,720 --> 01:04:23,600
Speaker 1: Update too, Okay, talk to a lawyer about getting around that.

1309
01:04:24,440 --> 01:04:26,880
Speaker 1: Low key sounds like you don't really care about that,

1310
01:04:27,120 --> 01:04:28,200
Speaker 1: but that's just an assumption.

1311
01:04:28,680 --> 01:04:31,480
Speaker 2: The last couple of sentences before that, I was convinced

1312
01:04:31,520 --> 01:04:35,440
Speaker 2: you did. But update too. The divorce is officially underway.

1313
01:04:35,760 --> 01:04:39,200
Speaker 2: Negotiations have started with my wife mostly hiding behind her

1314
01:04:39,280 --> 01:04:42,120
Speaker 2: lawyer and using the kids as a shield to keep

1315
01:04:42,160 --> 01:04:44,439
Speaker 2: the current house. I also thought you were just giving

1316
01:04:44,480 --> 01:04:45,040
Speaker 2: her that house.

1317
01:04:45,720 --> 01:04:46,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, I Wasn't that the plan?

1318
01:04:47,000 --> 01:04:48,400
Speaker 2: Give her that house and you have the house in

1319
01:04:48,440 --> 01:04:49,000
Speaker 2: your country.

1320
01:04:49,320 --> 01:04:49,960
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1321
01:04:50,040 --> 01:04:53,240
Speaker 2: I've instructed my lawyer that if that's the reasoning, then

1322
01:04:53,320 --> 01:04:55,480
Speaker 2: by the same logic I should keep the house in

1323
01:04:55,560 --> 01:04:57,760
Speaker 2: my home country so I can have a place to

1324
01:04:57,800 --> 01:05:01,480
Speaker 2: host the children when they visit. Suggested a direct swap,

1325
01:05:01,800 --> 01:05:04,640
Speaker 2: we each keep one of the houses. Her lawyer has

1326
01:05:04,640 --> 01:05:07,680
Speaker 2: been mostly silent on that, while being very vocal about

1327
01:05:07,760 --> 01:05:10,040
Speaker 2: her staying in the current house for the kid's sake.

1328
01:05:10,200 --> 01:05:13,280
Speaker 2: Of course, she also tried to push for a percentage

1329
01:05:13,280 --> 01:05:16,720
Speaker 2: of my salary as child support, but I pushed back

1330
01:05:16,920 --> 01:05:19,479
Speaker 2: and my lawyer agreed that she was asking for too much.

1331
01:05:20,040 --> 01:05:23,400
Speaker 2: He offered a lower figure, and now we're working towards

1332
01:05:23,400 --> 01:05:27,000
Speaker 2: a realistic amount. He had a solid idea pays slightly

1333
01:05:27,040 --> 01:05:30,360
Speaker 2: more in January and August when school starts, and set

1334
01:05:30,360 --> 01:05:33,040
Speaker 2: a lower amount the rest of the year. A lot

1335
01:05:33,080 --> 01:05:36,320
Speaker 2: of this feels more like a power play than genuine cooperation,

1336
01:05:36,720 --> 01:05:40,960
Speaker 2: something I expected, but it still stings. That said, I've

1337
01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:44,760
Speaker 2: stayed calm, strategic, and focused on the long game. I've

1338
01:05:44,800 --> 01:05:48,760
Speaker 2: made a conscious choice not to react emotionally anymore, and

1339
01:05:49,000 --> 01:05:51,800
Speaker 2: that's been a big shift for me. I'm preparing to

1340
01:05:51,840 --> 01:05:55,080
Speaker 2: move back to my home country soon. There's still plenty

1341
01:05:55,120 --> 01:05:57,800
Speaker 2: to sort out, but I've realized I need to be

1342
01:05:57,920 --> 01:06:01,400
Speaker 2: in an environment where I can rebuild and grow, not

1343
01:06:01,560 --> 01:06:05,440
Speaker 2: one where I'm constantly on edge. It's not easy walking away,

1344
01:06:05,960 --> 01:06:09,720
Speaker 2: especially with kids involved, but staying in a toxic space

1345
01:06:09,880 --> 01:06:13,320
Speaker 2: helps no one. The kids remain my top priority.

1346
01:06:13,400 --> 01:06:13,880
Speaker 1: Okay good.

1347
01:06:14,360 --> 01:06:16,520
Speaker 2: I thought hard to stay close to them and will

1348
01:06:16,560 --> 01:06:17,360
Speaker 2: continue to do so.

1349
01:06:17,520 --> 01:06:18,040
Speaker 1: Okay good.

1350
01:06:18,280 --> 01:06:21,800
Speaker 2: I'll be seeing them during school holidays, calling regularly, and

1351
01:06:21,840 --> 01:06:24,080
Speaker 2: doing everything I can to show them that even if

1352
01:06:24,120 --> 01:06:27,640
Speaker 2: their parents aren't together, they still have a loving present father.

1353
01:06:27,880 --> 01:06:31,320
Speaker 1: Okay good. I was so worried, and now my worries

1354
01:06:31,440 --> 01:06:38,520
Speaker 1: are delayed, delayed, satiated, My worries are no more. I

1355
01:06:38,520 --> 01:06:41,080
Speaker 1: think you do care about your kids. Uh.

1356
01:06:41,400 --> 01:06:44,560
Speaker 2: But yeah, I'm glad that you're also worried about your

1357
01:06:44,640 --> 01:06:45,160
Speaker 2: kids too.

1358
01:06:45,560 --> 01:06:50,920
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think good move. Not reacting emotionally anymore. Not

1359
01:06:51,000 --> 01:06:55,360
Speaker 1: really much you know you can do outside of just

1360
01:06:55,480 --> 01:06:58,920
Speaker 1: trying to prioritize, you know, your your own peace throughout

1361
01:06:58,960 --> 01:06:59,680
Speaker 1: this process.

1362
01:07:00,120 --> 01:07:03,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, the lawyer stuff sounded like, obviously her lawyer's gonna

1363
01:07:03,680 --> 01:07:06,400
Speaker 2: be way more worried about her. Ya, So that makes sense.

1364
01:07:06,680 --> 01:07:09,520
Speaker 1: Well, bag lawyers going to be bag lawyers. You know,

1365
01:07:09,600 --> 01:07:12,640
Speaker 1: statistically it's been a lawyer. I think that the professions

1366
01:07:12,680 --> 01:07:18,160
Speaker 1: with the most sociopaths are lawyer, police officer, and teacher

1367
01:07:18,720 --> 01:07:19,760
Speaker 1: because of the power.

1368
01:07:22,000 --> 01:07:27,120
Speaker 2: Anyway, Yeah, Interest, We've had some real heart to heart

1369
01:07:27,160 --> 01:07:29,920
Speaker 2: moments lately, and I know they feel the love. The

1370
01:07:30,040 --> 01:07:33,440
Speaker 2: gym has become an anchor for me, given me structure,

1371
01:07:33,560 --> 01:07:37,120
Speaker 2: focus and a positive outlet. I've also been working hard

1372
01:07:37,160 --> 01:07:39,960
Speaker 2: to detach from the drama and focus on building the

1373
01:07:40,000 --> 01:07:43,040
Speaker 2: next chapter of my life. There is still a long

1374
01:07:43,160 --> 01:07:46,360
Speaker 2: road ahead, but mentally and emotionally, I'm in a much

1375
01:07:46,360 --> 01:07:49,760
Speaker 2: stronger place than I was seven months ago. One thing

1376
01:07:49,800 --> 01:07:52,400
Speaker 2: that I've had to accept is that the affair wasn't

1377
01:07:52,440 --> 01:07:56,760
Speaker 2: my fault. It was her choice and hers alone. That

1378
01:07:56,880 --> 01:08:00,680
Speaker 2: is the end of that story. Okay, it was never

1379
01:08:00,800 --> 01:08:01,440
Speaker 2: your fault.

1380
01:08:01,720 --> 01:08:01,959
Speaker 1: Never.

1381
01:08:02,920 --> 01:08:06,200
Speaker 2: You were never the one that caused that affair. That's

1382
01:08:06,240 --> 01:08:07,280
Speaker 2: her craziness.