WEBVTT - A simple path to time abundance 0:00:03.000 --> 0:00:09.240 Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning. 0:00:10.560 --> 0:00:16.200 This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's 0:00:16.239 --> 0:00:19.119 episode is going to be a slightly longer one, but 0:00:19.239 --> 0:00:22.480 instead of interviewing a fascinating guest about how they take 0:00:22.520 --> 0:00:25.560 their days from great to awesome, I'm going to talk 0:00:25.600 --> 0:00:28.080 about some ways that I try to take my days 0:00:28.120 --> 0:00:30.720 from great to awesome and that I hope will be 0:00:30.760 --> 0:00:35.279 helpful for you as well. Longtime listeners know that I've 0:00:35.320 --> 0:00:38.040 spent the past three years working on a book called 0:00:38.320 --> 0:00:42.400 Big Time, A Simple Path to Time Abundance. That book 0:00:42.520 --> 0:00:45.559 is on sale this week. If you enjoy the tips 0:00:45.600 --> 0:00:48.320 on this show, I hope you will consider picking up 0:00:48.360 --> 0:00:52.040 a copy, and to pique your interest, I thought i'd 0:00:52.080 --> 0:00:55.200 share what I have learned about time while writing the 0:00:55.200 --> 0:00:58.040 book and some of the practices from the book that 0:00:58.080 --> 0:01:03.400 I've adopted that I think helped make my life better. First, 0:01:03.960 --> 0:01:07.039 just so people know where I'm coming from, my life 0:01:07.160 --> 0:01:10.760 sometimes bears a bit of a resemblance to a circus, 0:01:11.600 --> 0:01:14.319 though I have learned to embrace that for reasons we'll 0:01:14.319 --> 0:01:19.000 talk about soon. I have five kids, ranging from ages 0:01:19.040 --> 0:01:21.920 six to eighteen, and four of whom are still living 0:01:21.920 --> 0:01:25.280 at home. My husband and I both work and both 0:01:25.400 --> 0:01:30.000 travel for work. We have all the usual complement of activities, 0:01:30.319 --> 0:01:35.280 play dates, community events during the week. I'm recording this episode. 0:01:35.319 --> 0:01:39.880 For instance, my Tuesday afternoon resembled one of those multi 0:01:39.920 --> 0:01:43.720 person acrobatic tricks you might see in a circus. For 0:01:43.880 --> 0:01:46.200 various reasons, we've needed to move the six year old 0:01:46.200 --> 0:01:48.400 from taking the bus home from school to getting picked 0:01:48.440 --> 0:01:51.280 up at school. We have a nanny who helps us 0:01:51.280 --> 0:01:53.840 after school, so that is fine. She can usually pick 0:01:53.920 --> 0:01:56.800 him up, but then this means she can't drive the 0:01:56.880 --> 0:01:59.680 other kids places from about three point thirty to four 0:01:59.720 --> 0:02:03.640 pm on weekdays. So on Tuesdays, my eleven year old 0:02:03.680 --> 0:02:06.720 son has a pottery class at three forty five that 0:02:06.800 --> 0:02:10.880 he absolutely loves. This past Tuesday, I was going back 0:02:10.960 --> 0:02:13.560 and forth with another podcast that wanted to interview me 0:02:14.000 --> 0:02:16.840 about the schedule and what would work. They offered me 0:02:16.919 --> 0:02:21.520 three pm or six pm. Now, normally I would have 0:02:21.600 --> 0:02:24.120 just grabbed three pm, after all, it's during the workday, 0:02:24.720 --> 0:02:27.040 but then I remembered I would need to drive the 0:02:27.080 --> 0:02:30.440 eleven year old, so I took the six pm. But 0:02:30.520 --> 0:02:33.239 of course then I realized that we had an alto 0:02:33.400 --> 0:02:35.919 sax lesson that would usually be running from five forty 0:02:35.919 --> 0:02:39.239 five to six thirty on Tuesdays, and a trombone lesson 0:02:39.320 --> 0:02:42.919 running from six thirty to seven. The house was not 0:02:43.000 --> 0:02:46.160 going to be quiet during this window. The good news 0:02:46.760 --> 0:02:50.040 our garage is detached from the house. That's an upside 0:02:50.080 --> 0:02:52.720 of an older home, it turns out. So I made 0:02:52.840 --> 0:02:56.320 a mini recording studio out there and it all worked. 0:02:56.880 --> 0:03:00.720 But you know, the layers of different contingencies are just 0:03:00.840 --> 0:03:05.560 sometimes a bit intense. So I will not claim that 0:03:05.639 --> 0:03:09.560 my life is some sort of minimalist simple thing. It 0:03:09.680 --> 0:03:15.400 simply can't be. But that is okay. A complex life 0:03:16.120 --> 0:03:22.320 isn't inevitably chaotic. Turns out that chaos and complexity are 0:03:22.480 --> 0:03:26.360 not the same thing at all. Time is big enough 0:03:26.720 --> 0:03:30.679 for whatever matters to us, and even amid the complexity, 0:03:30.720 --> 0:03:34.000 there are all kinds of strategies we can use that 0:03:34.040 --> 0:03:38.400 can make life feel calm and time feel more spacious. 0:03:39.480 --> 0:03:42.320 So in today's episode, I'm going to talk about a 0:03:42.360 --> 0:03:46.360 few of my favorite strategies that I learned while writing 0:03:46.400 --> 0:03:51.080 Big Time. The first is that to run a good circus, 0:03:51.800 --> 0:03:56.280 you really need to know where the time is going. Now, 0:03:56.320 --> 0:04:00.120 I have tracked my time for eleven straight years. Yes, 0:04:00.680 --> 0:04:02.960 I know how I have spent every half hour for 0:04:03.040 --> 0:04:05.960 the last eleven years of my life. I promise you 0:04:06.360 --> 0:04:10.440 no one else needs to do that. But I do 0:04:10.480 --> 0:04:12.840 think it's a good idea to track your time for 0:04:12.880 --> 0:04:15.640 a week. A week will give you a fairly good 0:04:15.680 --> 0:04:19.560 sense of where your time truly goes. I find that 0:04:19.680 --> 0:04:23.719 time tracking keeps me accountable and helps to cement memories. 0:04:24.440 --> 0:04:28.479 The memory part is especially fun. I can look back 0:04:28.520 --> 0:04:31.520 on say a Monday evening from six years ago, and 0:04:31.600 --> 0:04:33.839 see what I was up to, like playing out in 0:04:33.880 --> 0:04:38.840 the yard with kids who were a lot younger than I. 0:04:38.880 --> 0:04:42.520 Feel like I have more time because I can see 0:04:42.520 --> 0:04:46.320 my time quite clearly. I see how much time is 0:04:46.360 --> 0:04:48.720 required for the things I have to do, and how 0:04:48.760 --> 0:04:51.480 much time is available for the things I want to do. 0:04:52.720 --> 0:04:56.520 But this was just my general belief before writing Big Time, 0:04:56.600 --> 0:04:59.760 and my impression from what other people had told me 0:05:00.240 --> 0:05:04.960 about tracking their time. Of course, anecdotes mean nothing on 0:05:05.000 --> 0:05:08.599 their own, so for Big Time, I decided to look 0:05:08.680 --> 0:05:13.560 more systematically at time tracking. I had two hundred and 0:05:13.560 --> 0:05:17.560 seventy nine people track their time for a week. I 0:05:17.640 --> 0:05:22.760 asked them various questions designed to measure time satisfaction before 0:05:23.160 --> 0:05:27.479 and after the week they tracked. What I found is 0:05:27.480 --> 0:05:32.880 that people's time satisfaction levels rose significantly after they tracked 0:05:32.880 --> 0:05:37.000 time for one hundred and sixty eight hours. Indeed, agreement 0:05:37.040 --> 0:05:41.280 with the statement generally I have enough time for the 0:05:41.320 --> 0:05:45.839 things I want to do rose twenty five percent in 0:05:46.160 --> 0:05:50.080 just one week. Now. I think there are a few 0:05:50.120 --> 0:05:54.159 reasons for this. An obvious one is that time tracking 0:05:54.200 --> 0:05:58.560 inspired better time choices. People didn't want to document a 0:05:58.680 --> 0:06:02.160 three hour YouTube bin on their time logs, so they 0:06:02.240 --> 0:06:06.760 chose more fulfilling leisure time activities and thus felt better 0:06:06.760 --> 0:06:09.919 about their time. But I don't think it's just that. 0:06:10.960 --> 0:06:14.520 I think the deeper reason is that seeing where the 0:06:14.560 --> 0:06:19.800 time goes helps us rewrite our stories. Many of us 0:06:19.839 --> 0:06:23.599 are telling ourselves quite negative stories about our time, like 0:06:24.160 --> 0:06:27.159 I'm working around the clock, I never sleep, I never 0:06:27.200 --> 0:06:31.919 see my family, I have no free time whatsoever. But 0:06:33.040 --> 0:06:37.320 even if you work long hours, you probably don't work 0:06:37.360 --> 0:06:41.800 around the clock. If you have a bad night, that 0:06:41.880 --> 0:06:44.839 doesn't mean all seven nights of the week or just 0:06:44.880 --> 0:06:50.080 as terrible. You probably do see your family. Indeed, even 0:06:50.120 --> 0:06:53.320 people who work long hours are pleasantly surprised at how 0:06:53.360 --> 0:06:57.320 much family time makes it onto the time logs. I'm 0:06:57.320 --> 0:07:01.000 willing to bet that you also have some free time. 0:07:02.040 --> 0:07:04.600 It might not be as much as you want, but 0:07:04.680 --> 0:07:09.480 it isn't zero either. Whether it is spent well or 0:07:09.560 --> 0:07:12.760 not is up to you. That is the nature of 0:07:12.800 --> 0:07:18.320 discretionary time. But for just about everyone there is at 0:07:18.400 --> 0:07:24.720 least some time. It is there. When you see all this, 0:07:25.640 --> 0:07:30.400 you start to see that life is pretty reasonable. Maybe 0:07:30.440 --> 0:07:33.360 you want to change some things. I mean, many of 0:07:33.440 --> 0:07:35.160 us look at our time logs and want to change 0:07:35.160 --> 0:07:39.600 a few things, but we are generally talking tweaks, not 0:07:39.880 --> 0:07:45.160 a total lifestyle overhaul. Seeing where the time goes makes 0:07:45.240 --> 0:07:49.400 us happier with our time. If you track your time, 0:07:50.400 --> 0:07:55.440 I think you will find the same thing. So another 0:07:55.520 --> 0:07:59.000 idea from Big Time that I am embracing is that 0:07:59.120 --> 0:08:04.720 I am the master of a three ring circus. When 0:08:04.760 --> 0:08:07.960 people say my life is a circus, they tend to 0:08:08.040 --> 0:08:11.560 mean it is chaotic. But I think this is a 0:08:11.600 --> 0:08:18.600 slander against circuses. A circus is incredibly well organized. All 0:08:18.640 --> 0:08:22.200 the acts happen when they are supposed to happen. Tricks 0:08:22.320 --> 0:08:29.360 are executed with split second precision. We should aspire for 0:08:29.440 --> 0:08:32.400 life to be like a circus. As I think of 0:08:32.440 --> 0:08:35.920 myself as the ring master, I also like to picture 0:08:35.920 --> 0:08:42.280 that the circus of my life has three rings, career, relationships, self. 0:08:43.480 --> 0:08:46.360 A good ring master knows what is going on in 0:08:46.400 --> 0:08:50.960 all three rings at all times. Perhaps a bigger act 0:08:51.040 --> 0:08:53.360 is currently going on in one than the others, but 0:08:53.400 --> 0:08:56.480 there are highlights in all three, and a good ring 0:08:56.559 --> 0:09:01.760 master keeps her eye on all of them. Now, the 0:09:01.800 --> 0:09:03.920 best way to keep on top of all of this 0:09:04.080 --> 0:09:07.480 is to have a designated weekly planning time, when you 0:09:07.520 --> 0:09:10.199 look at what is most important in all three rings 0:09:10.200 --> 0:09:12.839 of the circus and make sure that you have worked 0:09:12.840 --> 0:09:17.840 out the logistics. I have always liked my weekly planning ritual, 0:09:18.679 --> 0:09:22.280 but as my life has grown more complex, I have 0:09:22.400 --> 0:09:26.400 found that I almost come to crave it. I look 0:09:26.559 --> 0:09:30.560 forward to Thursday mornings, which is when I now sit 0:09:30.640 --> 0:09:36.360 down with my planner and my calendar and think, what 0:09:36.400 --> 0:09:38.360 do I need to do to make progress on my 0:09:38.440 --> 0:09:42.160 professional goals next week? What do I need to do 0:09:42.200 --> 0:09:44.840 to make progress on the goals I have for relationships 0:09:44.880 --> 0:09:49.520 with friends and family? What is most important for my 0:09:49.640 --> 0:09:55.280 own physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional health. I also look 0:09:55.320 --> 0:09:58.360 at the things that are already on my calendar for 0:09:58.400 --> 0:10:00.840 the upcoming week. Even if that I don't rise to 0:10:00.880 --> 0:10:04.000 the level of being a top priority, do I have 0:10:04.040 --> 0:10:08.120 a plan for dealing with all these things. This is 0:10:08.160 --> 0:10:10.440 when I sort out the logistics for something like the 0:10:10.559 --> 0:10:14.320 Tuesday afternoon with the driving and the podcast recording and 0:10:14.360 --> 0:10:19.760 the music lesson that way, I am not blindsided by 0:10:19.840 --> 0:10:23.679 any of it. I am not suddenly remembering on Tuesday 0:10:23.760 --> 0:10:26.760 that the house will be loud. I am not racing 0:10:26.840 --> 0:10:28.920 over to the garage trying to find a good spot, 0:10:29.840 --> 0:10:31.640 because I had looked at my week ahead of time 0:10:32.320 --> 0:10:34.959 and thought about it, and so I had already built 0:10:35.000 --> 0:10:37.760 in time earlier on Tuesday to scope out the garage 0:10:38.400 --> 0:10:43.520 and make sure there was something that would work acoustically. Now, 0:10:43.559 --> 0:10:45.960 there is another part to this circus metaphor that we 0:10:46.000 --> 0:10:48.920 have talked about here on before Breakfast before, which is 0:10:48.960 --> 0:10:52.360 the importance of a net. I used to think that 0:10:52.400 --> 0:10:55.119 a net is a net, but as I have interviewed 0:10:55.160 --> 0:10:58.280 circus performers, I have come to learn that a net 0:10:58.320 --> 0:11:01.440 has to be exactly where the performers think it should be. 0:11:02.400 --> 0:11:07.120 They train themselves to land properly in the net. They 0:11:07.200 --> 0:11:10.080 certainly don't plan to land there during a performance, but 0:11:10.200 --> 0:11:14.840 the net can't be an afterthought. And so as I 0:11:14.880 --> 0:11:17.280 am trying to make my life feel more calm and 0:11:17.320 --> 0:11:21.839 time feel more spacious, I spend some time thinking about 0:11:21.880 --> 0:11:24.959 what I will do if things go wrong. I build 0:11:25.000 --> 0:11:29.920 an extra time I work ahead. That way, if something 0:11:30.040 --> 0:11:32.720 big comes up on a Tuesday and displaces what I 0:11:32.800 --> 0:11:35.960 plan to do on that Tuesday, there is somewhere to 0:11:36.040 --> 0:11:40.720 put the spill over. Everything stays on track, and the 0:11:40.760 --> 0:11:44.800 circus keeps humming along. There is no need to feel 0:11:44.920 --> 0:11:48.800 rushed and frantic. And when you don't feel rushed and frantic, 0:11:49.760 --> 0:11:55.400 time can feel a lot more abundant. We're going to 0:11:55.440 --> 0:11:58.160 take a quick ad break and then I'll be back 0:11:58.280 --> 0:12:09.480 with more tips from Big Time. Well, I am back 0:12:09.679 --> 0:12:12.760 talking a few tips from my new book, Big Time, 0:12:13.280 --> 0:12:18.199 A Simple Path to Time Abundance. So a third strategy 0:12:18.280 --> 0:12:21.640 for making time feel bigger and making time feel more 0:12:21.679 --> 0:12:26.360 spacious is to actually try to do big things in 0:12:26.400 --> 0:12:31.880 your time. Big things are quite doable in small enough steps, 0:12:32.679 --> 0:12:34.800 but when you do big things, you feel like the 0:12:34.880 --> 0:12:38.640 kind of person who has the time to do big things. 0:12:39.120 --> 0:12:41.200 And that's a good story to go through life with 0:12:42.679 --> 0:12:45.400 For instance, this year, I am listening to all the 0:12:45.440 --> 0:12:50.000 works of Mozart. Mozart wrote a lot of music, but 0:12:50.040 --> 0:12:53.760 he also died fairly young at age thirty five, so 0:12:54.240 --> 0:12:57.520 it is a finite amount of music. I have been 0:12:57.520 --> 0:13:00.400 listening to about thirty to sixty minutes of his music 0:13:00.440 --> 0:13:04.040 each day, going through his work chronologically based on the 0:13:04.080 --> 0:13:07.680 list in Wikipedia. I just have it going on in 0:13:07.720 --> 0:13:10.400 the background or while I'm driving around in the car. 0:13:11.480 --> 0:13:14.480 It's not too much each day, I can tell you 0:13:14.520 --> 0:13:16.720 from my time logs. I am definitely in the car 0:13:16.840 --> 0:13:20.560 for more than thirty minutes a day, but it doesn't 0:13:20.640 --> 0:13:24.400 have to be too much each day because daves keep passing, 0:13:25.200 --> 0:13:27.160 and there are three hundred and sixty five days in 0:13:27.200 --> 0:13:31.040 a year, and so I know that if I continue 0:13:31.040 --> 0:13:34.040 at this pace, I will make it through the entirety 0:13:34.120 --> 0:13:38.640 of Mozart's catalog by the end of December. So it 0:13:38.720 --> 0:13:42.240 goes for many things in life. While writing Big Time, 0:13:42.400 --> 0:13:46.040 I interviewed people doing all sorts of projects, like seeing 0:13:46.080 --> 0:13:51.200 all of America's national parks, walking a pilgrimage route, listening 0:13:51.240 --> 0:13:55.679 to the entire Bible as an audiobook, learning Latin, and 0:13:55.720 --> 0:14:00.920 so forth. These are all very big undertakings. But if 0:14:00.920 --> 0:14:04.439 you break any big thing down into small enough steps, 0:14:05.360 --> 0:14:08.400 then each day it feels about as simple as brushing 0:14:08.400 --> 0:14:11.880 your teeth. Most of us don't feel much resistance to that. 0:14:12.679 --> 0:14:15.280 Brushing teeth is easy and just takes a tiny bit 0:14:15.320 --> 0:14:18.760 of time. So if you want to build anything big 0:14:18.920 --> 0:14:23.200 into your life, break it down into small enough bits 0:14:23.880 --> 0:14:28.240 that it feels easy, like it's just a bit of time. 0:14:29.760 --> 0:14:33.560 That's how I read War and Peace a few years ago. 0:14:33.720 --> 0:14:37.560 This fourteen hundred plus page epic is big, there's no 0:14:37.640 --> 0:14:40.680 other way to describe it. But it also contains three 0:14:40.760 --> 0:14:45.040 hundred and sixty one extremely short chapters. I read one 0:14:45.160 --> 0:14:48.240 chapter a day, which usually took me five to ten minutes. 0:14:49.120 --> 0:14:54.200 Hardly worth commenting on, but the difference between nothing and 0:14:54.360 --> 0:15:00.120 just a little more than nothing is cumulatively great. I 0:15:00.120 --> 0:15:04.280 finished War and Peace on December twenty seventh, just as 0:15:04.320 --> 0:15:09.240 the calendar said I would. When you do something big, 0:15:10.160 --> 0:15:14.000 it changes the story you tell yourself about your time. 0:15:15.240 --> 0:15:17.520 If you have time to read War and Peace, then 0:15:17.560 --> 0:15:21.320 you can't be starved for time. You have tons of time, 0:15:22.120 --> 0:15:24.800 as evidence by the fact that you read War and Peace. 0:15:25.800 --> 0:15:27.720 Of course, it only took a few minutes a day 0:15:27.800 --> 0:15:31.240 to read, But we don't need to dwell on that. Instead, 0:15:31.280 --> 0:15:35.440 we can just enjoy the feeling of big time and 0:15:35.440 --> 0:15:42.160 what big Time makes possible. So another strategy I am 0:15:42.200 --> 0:15:46.760 adopting for making time feel more abundant is to embrace 0:15:47.200 --> 0:15:50.760 the golden hours. This is truly one of my favorite 0:15:50.800 --> 0:15:55.560 strategies from Big Time. People often talk about the golden years, 0:15:55.600 --> 0:15:59.640 that is the time after working when retirees can enjoy 0:15:59.680 --> 0:16:03.680 family in leisure. We get a miniature version of this 0:16:03.880 --> 0:16:08.120 every weekday evening during what I call our golden hours, 0:16:08.800 --> 0:16:13.440 the time after work and before bed. This is often 0:16:13.560 --> 0:16:16.600 the bulk of the leisure time people have during the week, 0:16:17.280 --> 0:16:21.760 but these hours are incredibly hard to use well. People 0:16:21.760 --> 0:16:28.080 are tired, we are out of energy and out of sorts. Still, 0:16:28.200 --> 0:16:30.880 I think it is possible to make choices that allow 0:16:30.960 --> 0:16:35.280 us to feel like these hours actually happened. And when 0:16:35.320 --> 0:16:38.480 we feel like these hours actually happened, we feel like 0:16:38.520 --> 0:16:42.760 we have a lot more time in our lives. The 0:16:42.880 --> 0:16:47.640 key is to set one small intention each day for 0:16:47.760 --> 0:16:51.160 something you want to do during your golden hours. We 0:16:51.200 --> 0:16:55.160 are talking about thirty minutes here. Your intention should be 0:16:55.200 --> 0:16:59.640 something that is not work, and is not housework or 0:16:59.640 --> 0:17:03.240 the physical care of family members, and is something you 0:17:03.240 --> 0:17:08.280 would genuinely look forward to doing. Now that I am 0:17:08.320 --> 0:17:11.040 thinking about this, I try to put something on my 0:17:11.160 --> 0:17:15.640 to do list each day for my golden hours. What 0:17:15.920 --> 0:17:19.160 fun thing would I like to do tonight? It can 0:17:19.200 --> 0:17:23.480 truly be just thirty minutes. Often it's that I like 0:17:23.520 --> 0:17:26.960 to spend thirty minutes doing a puzzle or reading a book. 0:17:28.119 --> 0:17:30.600 Some people like to sit outside or go for a walk, 0:17:31.160 --> 0:17:33.439 make a special treat for dessert, call a friend, do 0:17:33.520 --> 0:17:36.640 a hobby. Maybe in fall, it's sitting by a fire pit. 0:17:37.359 --> 0:17:39.960 Maybe it's looking up at the stars or watching the sunset. 0:17:40.960 --> 0:17:43.800 We do what we call toade time in my family, 0:17:44.400 --> 0:17:51.959 which stands for time outside after dinner. Everyone is happier outside. 0:17:52.160 --> 0:17:55.159 It really doesn't have to be much. But when I 0:17:55.320 --> 0:17:57.920 had people try this out for a week as part 0:17:57.960 --> 0:18:03.399 of writing Big Time, a sense of time satisfaction rose significantly. 0:18:04.560 --> 0:18:09.000 Interestingly enough, when people started setting golden hour intentions, they 0:18:09.160 --> 0:18:12.960 also started getting better sleep. It turns out that a 0:18:13.000 --> 0:18:15.280 lot of people stay up late in order to get 0:18:15.320 --> 0:18:18.920 some me time in their schedules. But if you build 0:18:18.960 --> 0:18:23.080 in thirty minutes of me time somewhere else during the evening. 0:18:23.920 --> 0:18:25.919 You won't need to stay up so late to get it. 0:18:26.760 --> 0:18:31.000 And this can make all of time feel better. I 0:18:31.040 --> 0:18:32.879 know I have been finding this to be true in 0:18:32.920 --> 0:18:35.840 my life. When I sit down and do a puzzle 0:18:35.920 --> 0:18:40.960 instead of scrolling, I feel like my evening actually happened. 0:18:41.960 --> 0:18:44.280 There is something memorable in there, or at least more 0:18:44.280 --> 0:18:48.359 memorable than our electronic hobbies. And I can go to 0:18:48.400 --> 0:18:51.080 bed when I need to go to bed, No need 0:18:51.119 --> 0:18:55.080 to borrow time from the next day. We're going to 0:18:55.119 --> 0:18:57.600 take one more quick ad break and then I will 0:18:57.640 --> 0:19:08.280 be back with more tips from Big Time. Well, I 0:19:08.320 --> 0:19:12.080 am back talking tips from my new book, Big Time, 0:19:12.480 --> 0:19:16.679 a Simple Path to Time Abundance. The last strategy I 0:19:16.720 --> 0:19:19.000 want to talk about today that helps make me feel 0:19:19.000 --> 0:19:24.240 like time is more spacious is to say some judicious yesses. 0:19:25.400 --> 0:19:30.719 These yeses can help us be open to serendipity. So 0:19:30.840 --> 0:19:33.919 if you read a lot of productivity literature and trust me, 0:19:34.560 --> 0:19:37.560 I do you know that a key tenant is that 0:19:37.600 --> 0:19:43.320 we should all say no more often. And I understand 0:19:44.480 --> 0:19:50.480 expectations are infinite. Time is finite. We are always choosing 0:19:51.640 --> 0:19:55.040 choose well. Bonus points if you know which of my 0:19:55.160 --> 0:20:00.000 books that statement is from. Many people feel over skied 0:20:00.359 --> 0:20:03.760 in their lives, and I don't want anyone spending time 0:20:03.800 --> 0:20:08.800 on things that aren't meaningful or enjoyable for ourselves or 0:20:08.840 --> 0:20:12.399 the people we care about. But if you think about it, 0:20:12.440 --> 0:20:16.639 you soon see that almost all new opportunities, adventures, and 0:20:16.680 --> 0:20:22.840 relationships come out of saying yes. After all, if you 0:20:22.920 --> 0:20:27.359 knew about something great, you'd already be doing it. New 0:20:27.359 --> 0:20:31.760 things come from talking to someone new, following up, putting 0:20:31.800 --> 0:20:36.119 some effort in, and seeing where things go. That is 0:20:36.160 --> 0:20:40.600 really the whole reason this show exists. I got an 0:20:40.640 --> 0:20:44.040 email in the fall of twenty eighteen from a publicist 0:20:44.080 --> 0:20:47.320 at my publisher asking if I wanted to talk about 0:20:47.720 --> 0:20:51.400 elevating and monetizing my Best of Both Worlds podcasts that's 0:20:51.440 --> 0:20:53.879 the other one I have. She said it might be 0:20:53.920 --> 0:20:57.639 a refresher of stuff I already knew, but I agreed 0:20:57.640 --> 0:21:00.720 to a conversation, and then it became came clear that 0:21:00.760 --> 0:21:03.679 this was not actually about Best of Both Worlds, but 0:21:03.720 --> 0:21:06.600 that my publisher had an agreement with a podcast network 0:21:06.600 --> 0:21:11.120 about trying to launch some new shows. More conversations revealed 0:21:11.160 --> 0:21:14.080 that the network wanted to launch a show of short 0:21:14.119 --> 0:21:21.760 episodes about productivity tips. After many iterations, iHeartMedia launched this 0:21:21.920 --> 0:21:26.959 show as Before Breakfast in early twenty nineteen. We've been 0:21:26.960 --> 0:21:30.679 around for seven years now. We get millions of downloads 0:21:30.680 --> 0:21:34.960 a year. Absolutely none of that was obvious from the 0:21:34.960 --> 0:21:39.440 first email, which I might not have answered if I'd 0:21:39.480 --> 0:21:43.439 been swamped or trying to say no to more things. 0:21:44.960 --> 0:21:48.679 In general, I think saying yes makes life more interesting, 0:21:49.119 --> 0:21:51.240 and I try to do this in my personal life too. 0:21:51.880 --> 0:21:54.480 So last spring is part of writing Big Time. I 0:21:54.560 --> 0:21:58.200 decided to go on a three week yes quest where 0:21:58.240 --> 0:22:01.040 I would say yes to things that sound did interesting. 0:22:01.960 --> 0:22:04.439 In this part of that, I wound up swimming with 0:22:04.520 --> 0:22:09.120 sharks in Hawaii. My oldest son really wanted to do 0:22:09.200 --> 0:22:13.040 this as part of our families already planned vacation to Oahu. 0:22:13.840 --> 0:22:16.280 He asked me to go with him and wisely timed 0:22:16.400 --> 0:22:20.760 this request to my yes quest. Now. I will tell 0:22:20.800 --> 0:22:24.440 you I don't particularly like going out in small boats 0:22:24.520 --> 0:22:27.560 on big waves. It makes me seasick. I also don't 0:22:27.600 --> 0:22:29.920 like sitting in cold water for long periods of time. 0:22:29.960 --> 0:22:34.720 I get cold very easily. And sharks I was going 0:22:34.760 --> 0:22:38.840 to be swimming with sharks. That's a little bit anxiety producing. 0:22:39.720 --> 0:22:43.760 But the truth is I had no real reason to 0:22:43.800 --> 0:22:46.560 say no, and since I was trying to say yes 0:22:46.600 --> 0:22:51.399 to things, we did it. And yes, it was a 0:22:51.440 --> 0:22:57.480 little nerve wracking, but it was also such a memorable experience. 0:22:58.560 --> 0:23:03.399 Sharks are magic. So is a day when a teenager 0:23:03.680 --> 0:23:07.359 wants to spend time with you. On the way back 0:23:07.440 --> 0:23:10.960 from swimming with those sharks, our boat past some whales 0:23:11.560 --> 0:23:16.119 surfacing in Hawaii's waters. Talk about a bonus seeing those 0:23:16.359 --> 0:23:19.480 I mean, I remember that for sure, and that definitely 0:23:19.480 --> 0:23:22.480 wouldn't have happened for me if I hadn't said yes 0:23:23.320 --> 0:23:27.159 to something outside my comfort zone. Now, I know we 0:23:27.200 --> 0:23:30.680 can't say yes to everything, but one way to think 0:23:30.720 --> 0:23:33.719 about this is that, in general, we want to spend 0:23:34.000 --> 0:23:37.240 less time doing things that we need to talk ourselves into. 0:23:38.400 --> 0:23:41.359 You are not initially excited, but you start going, well, 0:23:41.400 --> 0:23:43.720 you know it won't be too hard, it might look 0:23:43.760 --> 0:23:46.840 good on my resume. This is how we fill our 0:23:46.880 --> 0:23:49.840 lives with things that are a five or a six 0:23:50.320 --> 0:23:53.440 on a ten point scale of excitement. This is how 0:23:53.480 --> 0:23:56.040 we start to feel overscheduled with things we don't really 0:23:56.119 --> 0:23:58.920 want to do, and we feel like we can't take 0:23:58.960 --> 0:24:04.240 on anything else. Where you want to sit up and 0:24:04.359 --> 0:24:09.480 pay attention is when you start talking yourself out of something. 0:24:10.680 --> 0:24:13.760 You are initially excited, but then you start telling yourself 0:24:13.760 --> 0:24:16.760 that the logistics are going to be complicated. Maybe it 0:24:16.840 --> 0:24:18.920 is outside your comfort zone, you'll have to call in 0:24:18.960 --> 0:24:21.919 a favor from a friend, your partner, or a colleague. 0:24:22.119 --> 0:24:28.600 But that initial excitement is telling you can probably figure 0:24:28.640 --> 0:24:32.399 everything else out. So I try to say yes to 0:24:32.480 --> 0:24:36.000 interesting things because I know that it is doing interesting 0:24:36.160 --> 0:24:40.720 things that makes time feel big and abundant, not cutting 0:24:40.800 --> 0:24:47.280 things out adding them in. Yes, it might be counterintuitive, 0:24:48.240 --> 0:24:53.000 but I promise you it's true. There are a great 0:24:53.080 --> 0:24:56.639 many more practical strategies in Big Time for falling in 0:24:56.680 --> 0:24:59.920 love with your schedule and feeling like time is bigger 0:25:00.119 --> 0:25:03.760 enough for all the wonderful things you want to do. 0:25:04.920 --> 0:25:07.200 If you enjoy this show, I hope you will pick 0:25:07.280 --> 0:25:10.520 up a copy and check it out. If you do, 0:25:11.359 --> 0:25:14.520 please let me know what you think. You can always 0:25:14.560 --> 0:25:21.040 reach me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. In 0:25:21.080 --> 0:25:27.240 the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's 0:25:27.320 --> 0:25:37.320 to making the most of our time. Thanks for listening 0:25:37.359 --> 0:25:41.800 to Before Breakfast If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, 0:25:42.119 --> 0:25:51.440 you can reach me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. 0:25:51.560 --> 0:25:55.639 Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts 0:25:55.640 --> 0:26:00.240 from iHeartMedia, please visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or 0:26:00.280 --> 0:26:02.119 wherever you listen to your favorite shows.