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Speaker 1: I'm Bradley Johnson. What's one eight hundred duy away. Not

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Speaker 1: getting behind the wheel after drinking is the best choice,

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Speaker 1: But if you're pulled over, the next best choice it's

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Speaker 1: to call one eight hundred duy away. In today's phone tap,

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Speaker 1: I call a dad of an elementary school student to

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Speaker 1: let him know that our Halloween costume policy is about

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Speaker 1: to change. We're not going to allow any outfits that

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Speaker 1: might be deemed offensive to other cultures and clearsing pirates

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Speaker 1: who have a long, proud history. And the best part

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Speaker 1: is I already know the dad believes the school is

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Speaker 1: already over the top and being too politically correct, So

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Speaker 1: this conversation should send him right over the edge at least,

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Speaker 1: I hope. In your phone tap right now, it's the twenties. Hello, Hi,

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Speaker 1: I'm calling from elementary school. I'm looking to speak with Nick. Hi. Yes,

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Speaker 1: this is him. Hi, Nick, my name is Darvin Schlong.

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Speaker 1: I'm an administrator at your son's school. How are you

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Speaker 1: doing today? Hi? I'm good? How are you too bad? Listen?

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Speaker 1: I'm calling all the parents to see if they received

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Speaker 1: the flyer that we sent home last week regarding Halloween.

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Speaker 1: You know, I actually don't think I saw anything. Oh well, good,

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Speaker 1: I'm glad I caught you. So, as you know, in

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Speaker 1: previous years here, we let the kids dress up as

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Speaker 1: whatever they want on October thirty first, and we call

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Speaker 1: it Autumnal dress Up Day because we don't we don't

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Speaker 1: like to use the H word, right right, some people

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Speaker 1: are offended by that. Yeah, anything to avoid Halloween. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but some kids still dressed up as witches or ghosts

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Speaker 1: and that did offend some people. Okay, this year, all

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Speaker 1: the costumes need to be preapproved by me before they

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Speaker 1: can be seen on the school grounds. That way, we

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Speaker 1: don't have any costumes that could be offensive, all right,

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Speaker 1: Can I actually just be a little honest that it

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Speaker 1: just like you're going a little too far in the

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Speaker 1: attempt of not being offensive to anyone. And it's it's Halloween,

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Speaker 1: you know. No, no, we can't say that word. Is

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Speaker 1: not Halloween. It's Autumnal dress up day, to day that

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Speaker 1: we dress up in autumn for fun. Okay, So regardless

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Speaker 1: of your feelings, we have to do it the way

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Speaker 1: we have to do it. So what is your son

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Speaker 1: going to be dressing up as for Autumnal dress Up Day? Well,

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Speaker 1: for Halloween, my son will be dressing up as a pirate. Ooh,

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Speaker 1: that is not a good choice. I'm sorry, that's a

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Speaker 1: great choice. What do you want to be the pirate? Well,

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Speaker 1: that could be offensive to a lot of people. We

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Speaker 1: can't have that here at our school. I'm sorry. Pirates,

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Speaker 1: Oh many people, some of our children may have pirate ancestors,

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Speaker 1: and we need to be sensitive the pirate ancestors. Why

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Speaker 1: is that like even a thing? Wow? Now, I maybe

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Speaker 1: I understand why your son is a little insensitive to

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Speaker 1: our pirate friends. Listen, wearing an eyepatch or speaking with

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Speaker 1: exaggerated rs could really have a negative impact on the

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Speaker 1: other kids. So no pirates for autumnal dress up day?

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Speaker 1: Are you joking? This is unbelievable. Well, maybe you could

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Speaker 1: send him as a Pittsburgh Pirate from the Major League

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Speaker 1: baseball team. You're a school. You should be encouraging creativity

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Speaker 1: and encouraging well open minded spaces. Creativity, creativity as long

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Speaker 1: as it doesn't offend. So go wild, go crazy, be

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Speaker 1: whatever you want to be, and just make sure that

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Speaker 1: nobody can be offended by it. Okay, Okay, so you're

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Speaker 1: you're telling me that my son can't even be a pirate.

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Speaker 1: I mean, like, this is ridiculous. He can be whatever

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Speaker 1: he wants to be. No, he can't be he wants

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Speaker 1: to be a pirate. You're not letting him be that. No,

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Speaker 1: the only other costume we have is Superman. Oh, oh boy,

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Speaker 1: I can tell you a lot that's wrong with that one. No,

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Speaker 1: that's not approved either. I'm sorry? How is that one

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Speaker 1: not approved? That is the one Halloween costume that everyone

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Speaker 1: has been Well, let's focus on the name. I mean,

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Speaker 1: first of all, Superman. No, shouldn't it be super Person?

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Speaker 1: Probably Superperson? Okay, it's Superman. That's the character name. Why

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Speaker 1: is that offensive? Well, and that is a very offensive name. Okay,

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Speaker 1: we shouldn't be putting gender labels on our superheroes. But

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Speaker 1: that's the character's name. It is his name. But we

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Speaker 1: don't know who he identifies as, do we? He identifies

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Speaker 1: as a man, a Superman. Well, that's the title they

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Speaker 1: gave him. That's not the title he gave himself. Nobody

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Speaker 1: ever asked him. I look back at all those comics.

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Speaker 1: Nobody once asked him who he identifies with. They just

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Speaker 1: slapped a label on him, and all of a sudden,

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Speaker 1: he's superman. He might not have even identified as a

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Speaker 1: man or a woman. He might have identified as a goat.

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Speaker 1: He might have wanted to be super goat and he

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Speaker 1: should have been able to be. Oh, I see so

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Speaker 1: super goat. So my son could go as supergoat and

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Speaker 1: that would be fine with you. Wellman, no, he wouldn't

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Speaker 1: be able to go as supergoat. Unfortunately, there are a

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Speaker 1: lot of goats who don't have superpowers, and they could

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Speaker 1: probably be a little offended at that. Let me ask

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Speaker 1: you a question, sir. Let me ask you a question.

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Speaker 1: What the heck can he go ask who? That is

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Speaker 1: a good question, and I was hoping you were asking.

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Speaker 1: I've got a great idea for all of the students

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Speaker 1: this year. How about you have him dress up as

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Speaker 1: a scary student. But it's a scary student. Well, I'm

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Speaker 1: glad you asked. It's just his normal school attire and

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Speaker 1: he does his work and then goes home. But we

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Speaker 1: get to college. Well you say it's scary, it could be.

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Speaker 1: So I want all the students this year just to

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Speaker 1: go as students. That way, nobody's feelings get hurt. You

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Speaker 1: know what, You're a total in the soul. Yeah, you're

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Speaker 1: exactly right, because this is actually Jewbil from Brook and

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Speaker 1: Jewel in the morning doing a phone tap on you.

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Speaker 1: Your brother Robert set you up. What are you talking about?

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Speaker 1: Is this a school? No, this isn't the school. It's

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Speaker 1: a joke. Your brother said that you were complaining about

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Speaker 1: your son's school being two PC, so he wanted me

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Speaker 1: to mess with you. Oh my god, are you kidding me? No,

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Speaker 1: I think it's okay if your kid goes to school

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Speaker 1: as a pirate. Good. I mean, personally, I'm offended, but

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Speaker 1: you can let him go as a pirate if you

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Speaker 1: want to. I mean it's ridiculous, right, I mean, it's

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Speaker 1: absolutely iculous. What kind of schools will do that. It

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Speaker 1: is ridiculous that kids will dress up as pirates at school.

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Speaker 1: That is uncalled wake up every morning with jehol fun

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Speaker 1: tabs weekday mornings on the twenties, Holy on removing ninety

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Speaker 1: two point five. I gotta come