WEBVTT - Investing In Your Mental Wealth featuring Charlamagne tha God 0:00:00.280 --> 0:00:13.039 H how many things are different since we met, since 0:00:13.680 --> 0:00:17.680 before the pandemic, how my life has changed, and how 0:00:17.720 --> 0:00:20.560 a lot of people's life and how things that you 0:00:20.600 --> 0:00:25.440 didn't realize were so important really the important thing, right, 0:00:25.640 --> 0:00:28.520 it's not just your career, and it's not just you know, 0:00:28.600 --> 0:00:32.080 how you show up at work, it's just it's really 0:00:32.159 --> 0:00:34.000 the words that come out of your mouth and how 0:00:34.040 --> 0:00:41.760 you live your life. Bobby, I'm so excited that we're 0:00:41.800 --> 0:00:45.800 talking to Charlemagne that God today. Well you're excited, I'm 0:00:45.880 --> 0:00:48.199 I'm kind of nervous and I've met him and he 0:00:48.320 --> 0:00:50.440 was so nice. But I don't know why. I'm not 0:00:50.600 --> 0:00:55.040 usually nervous, but I just know he's so opinionated and 0:00:55.160 --> 0:00:57.480 so strong, and I just, you know, want I want 0:00:57.520 --> 0:01:00.280 to make sure that we're not boring him. I'm nervous 0:01:00.280 --> 0:01:02.240 about interviewing him a bit too, though, because he's an 0:01:02.280 --> 0:01:06.839 amazing interviewer obviously, like he does what we're doing basically 0:01:06.880 --> 0:01:09.000 all day long, and so I don't even know how 0:01:09.040 --> 0:01:12.080 going to get a question straight because I feel like 0:01:12.080 --> 0:01:14.280 he's probably been asked to everything a million times over. 0:01:14.400 --> 0:01:17.240 But I'm still so excited to hear from him and 0:01:17.360 --> 0:01:19.240 hear what he's got to say about the important things. 0:01:19.400 --> 0:01:21.720 So here we go. I can't wait to dive in 0:01:21.760 --> 0:01:29.120 and see what he has to say. Hey, Charlemagne, how 0:01:29.160 --> 0:01:32.759 are you Bobby here? How are you Bobby? What's happening? Um? 0:01:32.800 --> 0:01:35.160 You know, a lot too much to go over on 0:01:35.200 --> 0:01:37.440 this podcast. We'll have to follow up on our dinner 0:01:37.920 --> 0:01:40.160 and have a nice cocktail and then I'll tell you everything. 0:01:40.520 --> 0:01:44.080 I'm let me, let me. Yeah. So if you remember, 0:01:44.120 --> 0:01:47.760 we met at our friend Elvis Durand's wedding a couple 0:01:47.800 --> 0:01:50.000 of years ago, and you know, it was really fun 0:01:50.040 --> 0:01:52.360 meeting you, and I am now on my heart and 0:01:52.360 --> 0:01:54.720 I wanted to, you know, to see if I could 0:01:54.760 --> 0:01:57.120 get you on this podcast, and thank you to your bosses. 0:01:57.200 --> 0:01:59.640 They somehow talked you into it, so thank you. We 0:01:59.720 --> 0:02:03.160 had to, Paul. I'm happy to be and meet on 0:02:03.320 --> 0:02:06.720 Julie who is my co host, and just you'll get 0:02:06.760 --> 0:02:10.520 to know us because I don't do any research and 0:02:10.600 --> 0:02:13.080 just come up with whatever comes into my head. And 0:02:13.160 --> 0:02:16.640 she spends days and days and every article that she 0:02:16.680 --> 0:02:18.880 could kind of tell me everything that's going on. So 0:02:19.200 --> 0:02:22.800 that's us. Hi, it's so nice to meet you, Charlemagne. 0:02:22.840 --> 0:02:25.200 I'm such a fan, and I've been doing a deep 0:02:25.240 --> 0:02:28.200 dive into your work the past few days, so I 0:02:28.200 --> 0:02:30.160 can nerd out on anything with you right now. But 0:02:30.200 --> 0:02:31.960 it's so good to meet you. Thank you so much 0:02:32.000 --> 0:02:35.520 for making the time. I'm happy to be Yeah. Well, 0:02:35.560 --> 0:02:38.040 you're very busy man, so we appreciate it. Thank you 0:02:38.160 --> 0:02:41.160 for having Yeah. Well, the first thing is, since probably 0:02:41.200 --> 0:02:43.680 a lot of my audience might not be as familiar 0:02:43.720 --> 0:02:46.120 with you as the rest of the world is, and 0:02:46.160 --> 0:02:48.680 I could spend an hour going through your history and 0:02:48.720 --> 0:02:51.320 I've listened. I have listened to the Bob Pittman podcast, 0:02:51.320 --> 0:02:53.480 which is one of my favorites. But couldn't you tell 0:02:53.560 --> 0:02:55.880 everyone a little bit about you? And I'm just so 0:02:55.919 --> 0:03:02.200 curious what you're going to say. Um, that's a broad question. Uh. 0:03:02.600 --> 0:03:10.040 I am a father, I am a husband, Um, I 0:03:10.080 --> 0:03:17.359 am a great friend, and I am multi media personality. 0:03:17.480 --> 0:03:23.560 So that's radio, television, podcast, you know, books, and whatever 0:03:23.600 --> 0:03:28.360 other platform voices can be heard. You know nowadays not 0:03:28.480 --> 0:03:32.480 so much social media only because a lot of all 0:03:32.520 --> 0:03:35.600 of the content that you know, I do, whether it's radio, 0:03:35.640 --> 0:03:38.600 whether it's television, whether it's podcast, it ends up on 0:03:38.640 --> 0:03:41.000 social media anyway. So I don't feel the need to, 0:03:41.720 --> 0:03:44.640 you know, be a social media personality as well. Like 0:03:44.680 --> 0:03:48.400 a lot of people, how could you possibly find the time? 0:03:48.440 --> 0:03:52.400 You have four daughters? Is that correct? Well, beautiful princesses, 0:03:52.760 --> 0:03:57.120 that's right, well, beautiful princess and ranging from ages two 0:03:57.160 --> 0:04:00.480 months I think three months to thirteen is all right? Yeah, 0:04:00.640 --> 0:04:07.120 thirteen and now the oldest thirteen, six three and six months. 0:04:07.160 --> 0:04:11.720 That's amazing. Wow, with your beautiful wife, with my beautiful wife. 0:04:11.720 --> 0:04:13.920 And it's it's so interesting being a father because it's 0:04:13.960 --> 0:04:19.080 just like every day you get questions that you don't 0:04:19.120 --> 0:04:23.240 even bother to see what the answers are, Like, I 0:04:23.279 --> 0:04:25.880 have no idea why now right now in our house 0:04:25.960 --> 0:04:30.280 we don't talk about Bruno. I have no idea you'd 0:04:30.320 --> 0:04:36.240 never talked about Bruno. Made the mistake of finally asking 0:04:36.320 --> 0:04:39.080 earlier this after, like why don't we talk about Bruno? 0:04:39.160 --> 0:04:43.159 And it was like no, like no, no, no, we 0:04:43.200 --> 0:04:47.400 don't talk about Bruno. I'm like, okay, Bobby, that's a 0:04:47.600 --> 0:04:49.920 that's an en content reference, Bobby. I don't know if 0:04:49.960 --> 0:04:52.320 you know about in content because you don't have little 0:04:52.320 --> 0:04:55.640 ones at home, so I don't I have three sons, Charlemagne, 0:04:55.720 --> 0:04:58.400 who you know two are married, one is on his 0:04:58.480 --> 0:05:01.200 way up, and U a couple of daughter in laws 0:05:01.240 --> 0:05:06.280 and soon a granddaughter. So I'm looking forward to the girls. Yeah, 0:05:06.320 --> 0:05:09.479 I'm pretty sucked. But you know, this podcast is not 0:05:09.560 --> 0:05:13.599 about all your amazing you know work you do and 0:05:13.640 --> 0:05:16.880 all the givebacks and you know, your opinions and just 0:05:16.960 --> 0:05:21.440 the powerfulness of everything. It's really called the important things 0:05:21.520 --> 0:05:25.039 because I would love to hear like how things have 0:05:25.120 --> 0:05:29.080 changed in the past couple of years. Especially, Oh man, 0:05:29.440 --> 0:05:33.479 that's a great question. Um. You know for me, that's 0:05:33.480 --> 0:05:36.440 why when you ask me who am I at this 0:05:36.520 --> 0:05:38.919 point in my life, that's what I really see myself 0:05:39.000 --> 0:05:42.159 as a father, a husband, a great friend. Everything else 0:05:42.240 --> 0:05:47.480 comes after that. And you know, um, I started, I 0:05:47.520 --> 0:05:53.920 started going on this journey of like healing, of self 0:05:53.960 --> 0:05:59.480 exploration probably like five was six years ago, and that included, 0:05:59.520 --> 0:06:04.520 but wasn't limited to, you know, therapy, you know, meditation, um, 0:06:04.600 --> 0:06:07.560 a lot, a lot a lot more just you know, 0:06:07.640 --> 0:06:12.560 seeking what what what my what my true purpose here is? 0:06:12.640 --> 0:06:14.679 Even though I always felt like it was service to others, 0:06:14.720 --> 0:06:16.320 but it was kind of like, you know, what did 0:06:16.360 --> 0:06:19.680 that mean? And I just knew it started with me, 0:06:19.880 --> 0:06:21.680 you know, and Michael Jackson said, you know, I'm looking 0:06:21.680 --> 0:06:23.120 at the man in the mirror. I'm asking him to 0:06:23.240 --> 0:06:25.880 change his ways. You know, no message could be any clear. 0:06:25.880 --> 0:06:27.039 If you want to make the word a better place, 0:06:27.080 --> 0:06:28.360 you got look in the mirror and make a change. 0:06:28.400 --> 0:06:31.479 So I started with me, and so by the time 0:06:31.520 --> 0:06:37.599 the pandemic came around, I honestly truly don't know what 0:06:37.760 --> 0:06:40.520 I would have done with myself if I hadn't started 0:06:40.560 --> 0:06:44.040 that self exploration, you know, a few years prior, because 0:06:44.040 --> 0:06:46.240 I think, you know, when the pandemic happened, a lot 0:06:46.279 --> 0:06:49.760 of us were forced to be still and we didn't 0:06:49.800 --> 0:06:53.360 like what we saw. You know, we didn't like what 0:06:53.520 --> 0:06:56.000 we were telling ourselves. You know, we were a lot 0:06:56.040 --> 0:06:58.680 of us were forced to deal with ourselves, you know, 0:06:58.800 --> 0:07:03.080 for the first time. But for me, man, it just 0:07:03.160 --> 0:07:07.080 made me realize even more so, what's what's more important. 0:07:07.080 --> 0:07:10.239 So that's when that circle that you have trimmed down 0:07:11.480 --> 0:07:15.040 right for your own mental well being, that's when, during 0:07:15.040 --> 0:07:19.320 the pandemic, that strucle turned to a dot like like 0:07:19.440 --> 0:07:21.840 it was just like a straight up dot. And it 0:07:21.920 --> 0:07:25.760 was almost like the people I saw that year, literally, 0:07:25.800 --> 0:07:28.000 the people I saw that year, I'm talking about the 0:07:28.000 --> 0:07:31.080 the few people I saw that year literally are the 0:07:31.120 --> 0:07:34.880 people that I know I want to be around, you know, 0:07:35.000 --> 0:07:36.720 for the for for the rest of my life. And 0:07:36.760 --> 0:07:42.040 it's been very difficult, you know, even readjusting back to 0:07:42.080 --> 0:07:44.920 the world because I don't really want to go nowhere. 0:07:46.040 --> 0:07:48.240 I like being with my daughters. I like being with 0:07:48.360 --> 0:07:51.280 my wife, I like, you know, doing things amongst each other, 0:07:51.440 --> 0:07:54.600 like I don't. I don't really care about anything else 0:07:54.640 --> 0:07:57.239 at this point when you ask me what's important, Yes, 0:07:57.280 --> 0:08:00.760 definitely family, definitely, you know, great friends, and you know, 0:08:00.880 --> 0:08:05.480 definitely just constantly, you know, getting connected to that that 0:08:05.480 --> 0:08:08.400 that God and and for me, when the pandemic hit 0:08:08.520 --> 0:08:11.840 and I literally could take everything on my entire calendar 0:08:12.120 --> 0:08:14.600 and just delete it, it was one of the most 0:08:14.640 --> 0:08:17.720 freeing things I've ever been through. And I'm I'm kind 0:08:17.760 --> 0:08:20.360 of going through, probably in a smaller way what you are. 0:08:20.720 --> 0:08:22.880 They're all coming back and I feel like I got 0:08:22.920 --> 0:08:25.080 this baseball bat. Do you want to speak at this thing? 0:08:25.200 --> 0:08:27.960 Do you want to do this? Like? You can't do 0:08:28.000 --> 0:08:31.080 it all? Right? So how are you How are you 0:08:31.080 --> 0:08:33.880 making your decisions right now? Because you've seemed to be 0:08:33.920 --> 0:08:36.280 taking on more and more well, I think business wise, 0:08:36.320 --> 0:08:39.600 I'm doing things that I that I genuinely want to do. 0:08:39.840 --> 0:08:43.040 I'm not doing things because you know, there's money involved. 0:08:43.160 --> 0:08:46.520 I'm doing like like I have a podcast network because 0:08:46.520 --> 0:08:49.520 I'm really into you know, assisting people and getting their 0:08:49.600 --> 0:08:54.120 voices out. You know, I have a company with Audible, 0:08:54.160 --> 0:08:56.319 you know, myself and Kevin hardcoll S pH. It is 0:08:56.360 --> 0:08:59.680 the same thing. It's where we're allowing black creators to 0:08:59.679 --> 0:09:02.040 get their voices and get their get their stories out. 0:09:02.320 --> 0:09:06.240 And so it's like, yeah, everything I do is things 0:09:06.240 --> 0:09:09.560 that I want to do far as work is concerned, 0:09:09.559 --> 0:09:11.760 which makes it not feel like work, you know, it's 0:09:11.800 --> 0:09:15.240 the extracurricular things like you know, I'm going to Norfolk 0:09:15.280 --> 0:09:18.240 State this week, Um to go talk to a school? 0:09:19.320 --> 0:09:21.760 Is it a lot to get on a plane and 0:09:21.880 --> 0:09:25.760 fly to Virginia knowing I'd rather be taking my daughter 0:09:26.000 --> 0:09:28.760 to cheerleading or actually it's on Thursday, so she doesn't 0:09:28.800 --> 0:09:30.199 have cheer leading practice, so which is one of the 0:09:30.280 --> 0:09:33.040 reasons that makes me be like Okay, cool, I can 0:09:33.240 --> 0:09:35.719 you know, get away for a second. But would I 0:09:35.800 --> 0:09:38.400 rather be picking her up from school? Yeah? Would I 0:09:38.520 --> 0:09:40.760 rather be sitting around the house on a Thursday afternoon? 0:09:40.800 --> 0:09:43.760 Thursday night with my family. Yes, but I'm gonna go 0:09:43.840 --> 0:09:47.400 to Norfolk State and give it myself just enough, talk 0:09:47.440 --> 0:09:50.760 to these students and come back. So to your point, Bobby, yeah, 0:09:50.800 --> 0:09:53.440 it's just easy to say no. I'm a noe person. 0:09:53.679 --> 0:09:55.959 I never would say no before because I also had 0:09:56.000 --> 0:09:58.920 this like imposter syndrome. So I felt like, you know, 0:09:58.960 --> 0:10:02.520 if I didn't keep my hand and everything or cheap 0:10:02.640 --> 0:10:06.200 my face, you know, seen everywhere, then it would be 0:10:06.240 --> 0:10:07.959 like all of this would get taken away from me. 0:10:08.000 --> 0:10:10.320 And it's just like, no, what's for me is for me. 0:10:11.679 --> 0:10:15.680 So you've got two books right now, right, and best 0:10:15.679 --> 0:10:19.480 selling books of course. Yeah, you've got your radio show. 0:10:20.640 --> 0:10:24.160 You've got your podcast network m You've got a late 0:10:24.280 --> 0:10:27.800 night comedy show, Yeah, late night show on Comedy Central 0:10:28.120 --> 0:10:30.320 called The Guys on his True He's got an imprint. 0:10:30.679 --> 0:10:33.120 I think I got a book in print with Simon 0:10:33.120 --> 0:10:35.719 and Shuston. So we put out a couple of We 0:10:35.800 --> 0:10:37.760 put out my friend Tamika Mallory and she put out 0:10:37.760 --> 0:10:39.440 her book State of Emergency, How to Win in the 0:10:39.440 --> 0:10:42.120 Country we built last year and I need a Copax. 0:10:42.280 --> 0:10:44.319 She put out a book called Shallow Waters, A love 0:10:44.400 --> 0:10:47.880 Letter to Miya last year as well, and uh, where 0:10:47.880 --> 0:10:50.160 do we buy those hats? You have? You sell your 0:10:50.200 --> 0:10:53.320 merch Oh, this is actually a friends. This is my 0:10:53.360 --> 0:10:56.439 man l Doom. He has the line called my God 0:10:56.559 --> 0:11:00.240 Versus My Enemies, and you know all his merchants said 0:11:00.240 --> 0:11:02.520 stuff like covered by God, or it says my God 0:11:02.640 --> 0:11:05.040 versus my Enemies, and I I love it just because 0:11:05.080 --> 0:11:07.960 I love those those affirmations because that's how I feel like. 0:11:07.960 --> 0:11:11.120 I feel like I'm divinely protected and I've always felt 0:11:11.120 --> 0:11:13.000 like that. I feel like that since I was a 0:11:13.040 --> 0:11:15.280 little a little kid. You know, my mom grew up 0:11:15.280 --> 0:11:17.280 with Jehovah Witt and she's still a jehova with this now. 0:11:17.360 --> 0:11:21.120 My grandmother was a Baptist, so it's like faith. You know, 0:11:21.400 --> 0:11:23.720 religion was always something that was a part of our 0:11:23.760 --> 0:11:26.760 our household. I'm more spiritual now than I am religious. 0:11:26.760 --> 0:11:30.000 But I just recognized that there's something else out there 0:11:30.080 --> 0:11:34.040 that's greater than me. And you know, I've I've felt 0:11:34.679 --> 0:11:38.760 that's something that higher presence on numerous occasions. And you've 0:11:38.760 --> 0:11:41.800 talked about your tough I won't say childhood, but you're 0:11:41.840 --> 0:11:44.120 tough middle school, like when you were getting in trouble 0:11:44.440 --> 0:11:47.280 from having such strict parents that must have been quite 0:11:47.280 --> 0:11:50.120 intense for them. Well, it was interesting because you know, 0:11:50.400 --> 0:11:54.000 I've always said I'm the perfect balance of ratchetness and righteousness, 0:11:54.000 --> 0:11:56.480 and when I look at my parental dynamic, that's the 0:11:56.520 --> 0:11:59.440 same thing. Like my mother was the righteous one, my 0:11:59.520 --> 0:12:02.760 dad was direction you know, but my dad was just 0:12:02.840 --> 0:12:06.880 a man trying to do his best. Um. You know, 0:12:07.480 --> 0:12:10.319 when I first started going to therapy, you know, I 0:12:10.720 --> 0:12:13.240 was going for my anxiety, am about to depression. But 0:12:13.240 --> 0:12:16.800 then I realized like I had some like really serious 0:12:17.520 --> 0:12:22.480 father issues, right because um, it's it felt like my 0:12:22.640 --> 0:12:27.160 father would discipline me for for for not knowing things 0:12:27.240 --> 0:12:31.160 he didn't teach me, you know. And there's no such 0:12:31.240 --> 0:12:35.080 thing as just becoming a man. There's no such thing 0:12:35.120 --> 0:12:38.880 as just becoming a woman like those who came before 0:12:39.040 --> 0:12:41.840 us have to and still certain things in us. So 0:12:41.920 --> 0:12:44.599 you can't get mad at me, you know, because I 0:12:44.679 --> 0:12:47.199 just got my license at sixteen and I ran to 0:12:47.280 --> 0:12:51.719 stop sign if I'm following you literally and you ran 0:12:51.840 --> 0:12:53.800 to stop sign I'm just doing what Dad he did, 0:12:54.440 --> 0:12:57.160 you know that got me smacked in the face when 0:12:57.200 --> 0:13:00.680 I was younger, Right, But it's just like I'm following you. 0:13:00.880 --> 0:13:03.240 So I just realized I had so much you know, 0:13:04.240 --> 0:13:08.160 resentment built up because I didn't really get like the 0:13:08.360 --> 0:13:11.600 love I think that a young man probably needs from 0:13:11.640 --> 0:13:14.160 his his his dad, like you know, back then, I 0:13:14.160 --> 0:13:15.800 co forty three. So I grew up in the time 0:13:15.800 --> 0:13:19.480 where it was like, you didn't hug the boys. You know, 0:13:19.640 --> 0:13:23.160 you didn't kiss the boys. You send the boys out 0:13:23.200 --> 0:13:24.800 to work, and you know, you make them go cut 0:13:24.840 --> 0:13:26.600 the grass and you punch them in their chest if 0:13:26.600 --> 0:13:28.760 they crying like and you don't you tell them don't 0:13:28.800 --> 0:13:30.800 cry like things like that, and you don't even realize 0:13:31.040 --> 0:13:33.280 you're doing that, and you're raising a generation of sociopath 0:13:33.760 --> 0:13:36.360 you're teaching young men, you know, how not to feel. 0:13:36.480 --> 0:13:39.800 So you know, in therapy, I had a lot of 0:13:39.840 --> 0:13:42.920 resentment towards him. But then you know, with me talking 0:13:42.960 --> 0:13:47.319 about my issue with you know, mental health, he started 0:13:47.360 --> 0:13:49.920 opening up to me and it was like the holidays. 0:13:50.040 --> 0:13:52.200 It was it was Thanksgiving around two thousand and eighteen, 0:13:52.240 --> 0:13:54.080 and he told me that you know, he had been 0:13:54.120 --> 0:13:56.760 in therapy, you know, two and three times a week 0:13:56.800 --> 0:13:59.439 for years, and you know he was on tend to 0:13:59.480 --> 0:14:02.719 twelve DIF medications for his mental health. He tried to 0:14:02.800 --> 0:14:05.080 kill himself thirty years ago, and all of that was 0:14:05.120 --> 0:14:07.400 an eye opener for me. But you didn't know any 0:14:07.440 --> 0:14:09.880 of That's how you came forward with your own journey, 0:14:10.360 --> 0:14:12.880 none of that zero. I remember telling my mom, asked 0:14:13.040 --> 0:14:14.679 my mom, like, you know, Dad was dealing with all 0:14:14.679 --> 0:14:16.160 of that, and she was like, I thought he was 0:14:16.200 --> 0:14:18.800 just playing crazy to get a check, you know, but 0:14:18.920 --> 0:14:21.600 he really was dealing with his own issues. And that 0:14:21.640 --> 0:14:23.920 gave me a lot of grace with him, and it 0:14:24.080 --> 0:14:26.600 just let me realize, like you know, he was just 0:14:26.640 --> 0:14:29.000 the man out here trying to do his best, human 0:14:29.040 --> 0:14:31.200 trying to do his best, like we all. How did 0:14:31.280 --> 0:14:34.760 you come to therapy? Then? How did you decide to 0:14:34.840 --> 0:14:38.240 start doing accenter? You wrote the book about your struggle 0:14:38.240 --> 0:14:42.720 with anxiety, um, but was sort of the the pushing point, 0:14:42.760 --> 0:14:45.280 I suppose for the final point that you were like, 0:14:45.320 --> 0:14:47.120 this is something I really need to do for myself. 0:14:47.160 --> 0:14:49.000 If you didn't have that example in her family or 0:14:49.040 --> 0:14:52.000 around you always knew that it was something I had 0:14:52.040 --> 0:14:56.840 to do, only because you know, the the anxiety and 0:14:56.880 --> 0:15:00.520 the depression never got better. Like I first I diagnosed 0:15:00.560 --> 0:15:04.600 with anxiety in two thousands in and it was after 0:15:04.760 --> 0:15:06.840 a life of panic attacks and you know, feeling like 0:15:06.880 --> 0:15:08.320 I'm having a heart attacks and having to go to 0:15:08.360 --> 0:15:10.280 the hospital to check in the emergency room. And then 0:15:10.680 --> 0:15:13.080 this one moment I had a panic attack. I had 0:15:13.120 --> 0:15:15.360 just gotten fired for the fourth time from radio. I 0:15:15.440 --> 0:15:17.880 moved back from New Jersey, was living back home with 0:15:17.960 --> 0:15:20.360 my mom in South Carolina. My now wife was back 0:15:20.400 --> 0:15:22.920 home living with her parents. Our daughter was like one 0:15:23.040 --> 0:15:26.280 or two years old, and like, I really had one 0:15:26.280 --> 0:15:28.240 of those panic attacks where I thought I was gonna die, 0:15:28.360 --> 0:15:30.400 and like the hospital, the doctor just told me, like, 0:15:30.640 --> 0:15:33.120 your your heart is fine, and then you know, I'm 0:15:33.120 --> 0:15:35.480 describing what I experienced and he said it's not I 0:15:35.520 --> 0:15:37.080 mean like you had an anxiety attack. He said, you 0:15:37.080 --> 0:15:39.040 stuffed from anxiety. And I was like, not that I 0:15:39.080 --> 0:15:40.400 know of, and he was like, I just happened to 0:15:40.400 --> 0:15:43.160 you before. And I'm like, yeah several times in my life. 0:15:43.200 --> 0:15:44.800 And I was like, are you stretched out about anything? 0:15:44.800 --> 0:15:48.600 And I'm like, hell yeah, everything in my in my mind, 0:15:48.640 --> 0:15:50.880 I'm like, as long as I get another gig, I'll 0:15:50.880 --> 0:15:53.640 be fine. And next gig I got was the Breakfast 0:15:53.640 --> 0:15:56.480 Club and then you know, he started that in late 0:15:56.520 --> 0:16:01.720 two thousands ten and I've experienced more success than I've 0:16:01.720 --> 0:16:03.400 ever had in my life. I'm making more money and 0:16:03.440 --> 0:16:06.000 I've ever had in my life. And I'm not happy, 0:16:06.360 --> 0:16:09.040 Like I'm still dealing with anxiety, still dealing with the depression. 0:16:09.760 --> 0:16:12.960 I'm feeding my ego and getting caught up in being 0:16:13.000 --> 0:16:16.800 the radio star and I'm out here. You know, I 0:16:16.840 --> 0:16:20.360 got married to my wife in and I loved I 0:16:20.440 --> 0:16:22.000 loved her, and I'm glad that I did. But I 0:16:22.040 --> 0:16:25.040 wasn't doing right by her. You know, I was out 0:16:25.040 --> 0:16:26.760 in the streets with a bunch of different women. You know, 0:16:26.800 --> 0:16:28.880 I wasn't doing right. I just and and and in 0:16:28.920 --> 0:16:33.320 my mind, I was becoming my father. I was making 0:16:33.360 --> 0:16:36.640 the same mistakes I saw my father make with my mom. 0:16:36.960 --> 0:16:39.840 And I it was that was really causing my anxiety 0:16:39.880 --> 0:16:41.040 to go through the rou because you know, I spent 0:16:41.120 --> 0:16:44.320 my whole life trying not to be like him, you know, 0:16:44.760 --> 0:16:48.080 only to realize I'm becoming, you know, just like him. 0:16:48.160 --> 0:16:51.840 And so thank god, I just knew a lot of 0:16:51.920 --> 0:16:53.800 people who were in there, Like it was a lot 0:16:53.840 --> 0:16:57.040 of people around me, especially you know, the women around me, 0:16:57.320 --> 0:16:59.360 and like, like, guy, I have guy friends who were 0:16:59.400 --> 0:17:02.120 a couple of like two two main guy friends who 0:17:02.120 --> 0:17:03.720 are in therapy, who I used to hear him talk 0:17:03.760 --> 0:17:06.000 about therapy a lot, and I was just ask him 0:17:06.119 --> 0:17:09.800 questions and no, two thousand and sixteen, I just finally 0:17:09.840 --> 0:17:12.440 decided to go. It was actually after I had finished 0:17:13.240 --> 0:17:15.880 my first book. My first book came out in ten, 0:17:15.880 --> 0:17:18.359 but when I finished my first book sometime in early 0:17:19.960 --> 0:17:22.520 you know, I had a lot of questions about myself, 0:17:23.560 --> 0:17:25.200 you know, And that's what I think sometimes writing the 0:17:25.240 --> 0:17:26.960 book will do, Like you have a lot of questions 0:17:26.960 --> 0:17:30.120 about yourself because you can explain your story and tell 0:17:30.200 --> 0:17:33.400 your story. But now that you're older and you're looking back, 0:17:33.440 --> 0:17:35.040 you're like, well, why did I react that way to 0:17:35.160 --> 0:17:38.439 this and why did I move like that in this situation? 0:17:38.520 --> 0:17:40.960 And so I started going to therapy around you know, 0:17:41.840 --> 0:17:45.119 seen just because I needed it and because I had 0:17:45.160 --> 0:17:48.320 people around me who were We're just talking about it. 0:17:48.680 --> 0:17:51.560 You're so incredibly brave, you know, I mean honestly to 0:17:51.600 --> 0:17:53.159 put everything out there, and I know you do it 0:17:53.200 --> 0:18:14.240 because you know it helps people. So I'm just curious, like, 0:18:14.320 --> 0:18:15.800 what are some of the things you do? Is it 0:18:15.840 --> 0:18:21.359 a medication? Is it meditation? Is it you know, positive affirmations? 0:18:21.400 --> 0:18:24.440 Like what is it that makes the biggest difference. Well, 0:18:24.600 --> 0:18:26.720 first it was just therapy, and to be honest with 0:18:26.760 --> 0:18:30.719 your therapy, therapy drove me. I don't like to use 0:18:30.760 --> 0:18:34.399 the word crazy with therapy. Therapy left me more confused, 0:18:35.480 --> 0:18:39.240 you know than anything. They just yeah, in the beginning, 0:18:39.280 --> 0:18:41.560 when I first started therapy, it just was like was 0:18:41.560 --> 0:18:44.760 peeling back all these layers. But I started having more 0:18:44.840 --> 0:18:48.440 questions and answers. You can stir a lot of stuff 0:18:48.520 --> 0:18:53.040 up when you start. Sure, oh man did it? And 0:18:53.119 --> 0:18:57.000 then um, you know, later I started adding other practices. 0:18:57.080 --> 0:18:58.400 I have to think. I have to thank my good 0:18:58.400 --> 0:19:02.840 friend Debbie Brown. You know, Debbie Brown is a she's 0:19:02.880 --> 0:19:06.160 really big in the mindfulness space. She works for you know, Chobra, 0:19:06.480 --> 0:19:11.080 works with Chobra. And she just kept telling me. She 0:19:11.240 --> 0:19:13.760 was like, you know, therapy is good. I'm glad that 0:19:13.880 --> 0:19:15.239 this is After a couple of years, they like, I'm 0:19:15.240 --> 0:19:17.560 glad you you know, been in therapy. But you know, 0:19:17.600 --> 0:19:20.520 now you really got to start, you know, doing some 0:19:20.600 --> 0:19:25.160 things to actually heal, some practices that actually heal. And 0:19:25.160 --> 0:19:28.720 then that's when you know, the meditation started coming into place. 0:19:29.000 --> 0:19:31.960 Do you meditate every day? I tried to, you know, 0:19:32.080 --> 0:19:36.080 especially in the morning, right before work. Um, that's when 0:19:36.160 --> 0:19:38.800 things like you know, you know, building your altar int 0:19:38.800 --> 0:19:42.680 the house and you know, saging yourself from smudging yourself. 0:19:42.720 --> 0:19:45.199 That's when that's when all of that stuff started, you know, 0:19:45.280 --> 0:19:47.680 to come into play. That's when you know, different plant 0:19:47.720 --> 0:19:50.399 based medications started come started and coming into play. I 0:19:50.400 --> 0:19:53.080 never took anything prescribed by the doctor. You know. I 0:19:53.840 --> 0:19:58.000 do things like CBD. You know, I've even tried psychedelics 0:19:58.040 --> 0:20:02.600 like shrooms and the therapeutics therapy say micro doc Yeah, 0:20:02.600 --> 0:20:05.960 that microdocing always seems so interesting, but it's not legal 0:20:06.000 --> 0:20:08.480 in New Jersey. So you know, I know people in 0:20:08.520 --> 0:20:12.280 California that swear by it and you could get it prescribed. 0:20:12.640 --> 0:20:15.800 You know, I'm someone that doesn't do well with a 0:20:16.200 --> 0:20:20.199 mind altering substances. I do my best with vodka truthfully, 0:20:20.200 --> 0:20:22.720 to kind of called me down. I mean, you know 0:20:22.840 --> 0:20:27.120 that's what works for me. You know, everyone is different. Chemistry. Yeah, 0:20:27.119 --> 0:20:29.760 but there's a lot of research coming out with m 0:20:29.840 --> 0:20:33.200 D m A and Paul Simon. There's a lot of trials, 0:20:33.280 --> 0:20:36.920 and I think it's pretty near getting through clinical trials 0:20:36.920 --> 0:20:39.240 to mainstream some of the stuff for therapeutic use and 0:20:39.359 --> 0:20:42.600 especially for trauma for like deep trauma work. I don't 0:20:42.600 --> 0:20:44.880 know how I feel about it yet I've done it. 0:20:44.880 --> 0:20:46.840 It's not like I did not enjoy it, you know, 0:20:47.160 --> 0:20:50.359 it was cool. I just it's a part of me 0:20:50.400 --> 0:20:53.679 that just does not want to have to go to 0:20:53.840 --> 0:20:58.199 any any drug plant based otherwise. You know, when I'm 0:20:58.200 --> 0:21:00.800 when I'm in that space, you know, I rather you know, 0:21:00.840 --> 0:21:02.520 figure out a way to get there on my own. 0:21:02.600 --> 0:21:05.159 Like I like ground, especially when it's warm out, you know, 0:21:05.200 --> 0:21:08.680 take your shoes off and just go walk walk through 0:21:08.720 --> 0:21:11.600 your yard. You know. I have a sacred purpose coach, 0:21:12.000 --> 0:21:14.600 you know, named YadA y'allbo, and you know, we laugh 0:21:14.640 --> 0:21:16.720 and joke and we have this one called face down 0:21:16.720 --> 0:21:19.440 gass up, and it's like you take your shirt off 0:21:19.760 --> 0:21:23.679 and you lay belly down on the grass, you know, 0:21:23.760 --> 0:21:25.359 when the sun is out, and just lay there and 0:21:25.440 --> 0:21:28.679 put your face against the grass field Earth's heartbeat like 0:21:29.280 --> 0:21:32.119 stuff like that. I'm I'm really a tree hugger, Like 0:21:32.160 --> 0:21:37.080