WEBVTT - Ep124: These Feminists Is For Everybody feat. Marzy 0:00:00.360 --> 0:00:02.559 If you're listening to this right now, that that means 0:00:02.600 --> 0:00:06.440 this podcast is now available on Audio Mac. It's a 0:00:06.480 --> 0:00:09.240 free music and podcast streaming out that lets you stream 0:00:09.320 --> 0:00:13.880 and download the hottest albums, mix tapes, songs, playlists, and 0:00:14.200 --> 0:00:17.400 podcast along with their own exclusive ship. Discover the best 0:00:17.440 --> 0:00:19.919 songs by browsing the trending page. Check out the library 0:00:19.920 --> 0:00:22.880 of carefully curated playlists, and there's one for every mood 0:00:22.880 --> 0:00:25.640 that you could have. Take your favorite songs and podcasts 0:00:25.680 --> 0:00:28.680 offline to save your data and listen wherever you are, 0:00:28.840 --> 0:00:31.840 the train, the plane. It's all there for you. Here 0:00:31.880 --> 0:00:34.960 to move music Forward. Available now on the App Store 0:00:35.040 --> 0:00:40.760 and Google Play. Enjoy the show. Hey everybody, this is 0:00:40.760 --> 0:00:44.800 Wheezy and today's episode is super fucking important for a 0:00:44.840 --> 0:00:48.520 few reasons. So I feel like every time I'm out 0:00:48.560 --> 0:00:51.159 and about, someone will tell me they know me and 0:00:51.200 --> 0:00:54.520 congratulate me, and they'll tell me they don't listen, especially 0:00:54.520 --> 0:00:57.800 like men, because they don't agree with what we talk about. 0:00:58.480 --> 0:01:00.880 And you know, you've actually had a guy like last 0:01:00.960 --> 0:01:02.920 night say to me at Max Fish, y'all be on 0:01:03.000 --> 0:01:05.000 that like feminist ship. I don't even you know, I 0:01:05.000 --> 0:01:07.640 don't be on that ship like that. So if you've 0:01:07.680 --> 0:01:10.600 maybe felt that way or you're confused about feminism, today's 0:01:10.640 --> 0:01:13.680 for you. Today's for breaking down whatever bullshit you thought 0:01:13.720 --> 0:01:17.480 feminism was. Feminism is the advocacy of women's rights on 0:01:17.880 --> 0:01:20.680 the basis of, you know, equality of the sexes. And 0:01:21.000 --> 0:01:23.920 it's not the idea that like TV and society has 0:01:23.959 --> 0:01:27.920 made where like bitches are hella butch or hating men 0:01:28.360 --> 0:01:31.080 or lifting up their skirts to show a bush like 0:01:31.120 --> 0:01:32.640 the White girls was doing on TV. I don't know 0:01:32.640 --> 0:01:34.640 if y'all saw that ship, but they were wilding. I 0:01:34.640 --> 0:01:37.119 don't have one of those. I don't actually have hair 0:01:37.160 --> 0:01:39.720 on my pussy as an act of feminism. But I 0:01:39.760 --> 0:01:42.560 am a feminist and all of those things don't define me. 0:01:42.800 --> 0:01:44.240 So I don't want you guys to think that that 0:01:44.319 --> 0:01:49.000 bullshit standard that you know has like propaganda has made 0:01:49.120 --> 0:01:52.880 around feminism is what we are, you know. So during 0:01:52.880 --> 0:01:55.000 this hour, we're gonna break some of those myths down 0:01:55.120 --> 0:01:58.280 and basically teach you how to make this world a 0:01:58.320 --> 0:02:00.600 better place. If you have a pussy, if you're friends 0:02:00.600 --> 0:02:03.280 with someone with a pussy, if you fuck pussy, and 0:02:03.360 --> 0:02:08.600 if you came out of one. So everybody, everybody, everybody 0:02:08.680 --> 0:02:11.480 everybody came out of pussy. Um, well that was a 0:02:11.520 --> 0:02:13.920 really nice prelude to the show. Wait, everyone didn't come 0:02:13.960 --> 0:02:15.239 out of pussy. I came out of stomach. Now that 0:02:15.240 --> 0:02:17.560 I thought about it, you're so annoying. Why do you 0:02:17.600 --> 0:02:22.160 fucking got it well out of well, if you wasn't 0:02:22.160 --> 0:02:24.480 a womb bitch, if you wasn't a womb listen that 0:02:24.520 --> 0:02:27.600 pussy got sucked and that's where I'm here. UM. So yeah, 0:02:27.639 --> 0:02:30.760 I'm excited about this week's episode. Guys. UM, once again, 0:02:30.760 --> 0:02:34.320 this is horrible decisions. I'm your girl, Mandy B. I'm wheezy, 0:02:34.400 --> 0:02:38.760 and we do UM have a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful guest today. UM. 0:02:38.800 --> 0:02:42.360 Before we get started, though, UM, I did want to 0:02:42.400 --> 0:02:46.000 just open up really, uh, just just shortly about what's 0:02:46.000 --> 0:02:48.160 been going on with me. Um, this is gonna be 0:02:48.400 --> 0:02:50.120 we I know we got a lot to go through. UM, 0:02:50.160 --> 0:02:53.720 but Um, as you guys saw on Instagram and it 0:02:53.720 --> 0:02:56.280 meant a lot to me. UM, I have been going 0:02:56.320 --> 0:02:59.600 through anxiety more than I have ever been. As you 0:02:59.600 --> 0:03:01.960 guys know, I'm quitting my job soon, and so I 0:03:01.960 --> 0:03:05.920 think like the closer that I get to leaving my job. Look, 0:03:06.040 --> 0:03:08.640 see I can't even talk about this, bro, It's so bad, 0:03:10.200 --> 0:03:13.200 It's really bad. Um but I didn't want to bring 0:03:13.200 --> 0:03:15.520 this on air because it meant a lot to me. Um. 0:03:15.560 --> 0:03:17.639 I made a post about my anxiety and what's been 0:03:17.639 --> 0:03:19.679 going on, and it's it's not only with my job, 0:03:19.720 --> 0:03:21.839 but even with my weight. I'm having your thing now. 0:03:22.320 --> 0:03:25.960 Um but I but I asked you guys to send 0:03:25.960 --> 0:03:28.280 me some books on how to deal with this. I've 0:03:28.280 --> 0:03:30.840 never had anxiety in my whole life. I've quit jobs 0:03:30.840 --> 0:03:33.639 like nothing. I always felt like I can get like somebody. 0:03:33.840 --> 0:03:35.480 I just always felt things would fall into place. And 0:03:35.520 --> 0:03:37.480 I don't know why now, at a space where I 0:03:37.520 --> 0:03:40.520 am in the best place of my life, why I 0:03:40.600 --> 0:03:42.840 have this much anxiety. People are scared to fail when 0:03:42.840 --> 0:03:46.200 they do, I'm so scared but of that, and I like, 0:03:46.200 --> 0:03:48.839 like I said, my way, I'm now wanting to lose more. 0:03:48.960 --> 0:03:50.960 Like I'm just having a lot of anxiety everything in 0:03:51.000 --> 0:03:53.200 my life. Um but I wrote a lot of books. 0:03:53.760 --> 0:03:56.680 I wrote, I wrote, I wrote to ask about books. Look, 0:03:56.720 --> 0:03:58.880 this is how like I'm so flustered, like I'm getting 0:03:58.880 --> 0:04:00.800 hot talking about this something kind trying not to cry. 0:04:00.840 --> 0:04:05.080 But wheezy, Um, I guess saw that I was requesting these, 0:04:05.120 --> 0:04:08.200 saw my post about my anxiety, and I got home 0:04:08.560 --> 0:04:11.880 yesterday to a book in my mailbox UM and it 0:04:11.920 --> 0:04:13.920 was The Four Agreements, which is a book that a 0:04:14.000 --> 0:04:16.839 lot of people said that I should read, UM and 0:04:16.880 --> 0:04:19.360 it was one that I was going to purchase. UM. 0:04:19.440 --> 0:04:21.920 And literally I went on Live and was like, which 0:04:21.920 --> 0:04:24.080 one of my friends did this? So I hit my homegirl, Jazz, 0:04:24.120 --> 0:04:25.760 I hit my mama, I hit everybody. I didn't think 0:04:25.760 --> 0:04:28.440 it was because we haven't been in a good space, 0:04:28.480 --> 0:04:31.440 but I called her yesterday after receiving it, UM, and 0:04:31.480 --> 0:04:33.840 it just really meant a lot, Like to receive that 0:04:34.200 --> 0:04:36.719 for any of you guys going through anxiety. If you 0:04:36.720 --> 0:04:41.560 guys have any UM advice or suggestions, they're gonna say, 0:04:41.600 --> 0:04:45.760 therapy be great. I think Mandy wants to anything else everything. UM. 0:04:45.800 --> 0:04:47.719 So I'm reading books. I'm doing that. And so the 0:04:47.720 --> 0:04:49.520 reason I got that book and like, right, so Mandy 0:04:49.600 --> 0:04:52.120 and I we were arguing this week. We're like just 0:04:52.839 --> 0:04:55.039 three weeks. Well we're trying to like figure out you know, 0:04:55.040 --> 0:04:57.680 we're both out to quit, so like delegating how this 0:04:57.760 --> 0:05:01.680 will work is and we're both really perfectionist, you know. 0:05:01.720 --> 0:05:04.200 I didn't even realize until my therapist said it to me. 0:05:04.800 --> 0:05:08.560 He's like, both of you have curated a tour alone. 0:05:09.160 --> 0:05:11.880 Like you're literally telling me your friends are checking people in, 0:05:12.040 --> 0:05:14.760 but you've sold out in all these cities twelve shows 0:05:14.800 --> 0:05:18.880 like and thirtainment bit. He's like, how can you not 0:05:19.000 --> 0:05:22.760 expect to feel so much ownership when it comes to 0:05:23.400 --> 0:05:25.560 now having a team. You let power go and you 0:05:25.560 --> 0:05:28.560 guys have held all your power and so now you're 0:05:28.560 --> 0:05:31.440 gonna bud heads because you both care about this brand 0:05:31.440 --> 0:05:33.520 so much. So like, you know, I really wanted to 0:05:33.520 --> 0:05:36.640 send the book because I feel like when I'm angry 0:05:36.680 --> 0:05:39.240 with my friends, I mean like like, if you call me, 0:05:39.240 --> 0:05:42.600 I'm here right and me and Manny may not be besties, 0:05:43.000 --> 0:05:45.960 but we still have this business and I don't want 0:05:45.960 --> 0:05:47.480 your head space to be fucked up or you'd be 0:05:47.520 --> 0:05:50.479 anxious about Like literally I call her crying and she 0:05:50.560 --> 0:05:55.080 was idea. Now I'm like, just I've been crying every 0:05:55.160 --> 0:05:57.080 day and I don't know why. Like I was literally 0:05:57.120 --> 0:05:59.720 fucking watching TV, which I was watching Real Housewives of 0:06:00.000 --> 0:06:02.520 All make and it's the first five minutes I'm just 0:06:02.560 --> 0:06:06.640 watching in my eyes are just getting are you pregnant. 0:06:08.040 --> 0:06:10.080 First off, a bitch can't even get dick right now, okay, 0:06:10.120 --> 0:06:13.720 because I keep missing my dick appointment. Look at I'm 0:06:13.760 --> 0:06:16.040 am I pregnant, don't you Darren? If I was on 0:06:16.120 --> 0:06:22.600 a watch voice that ship is coming out episode? Yeah, no, 0:06:22.680 --> 0:06:25.560 we got an episode coming up. But the thing is like, yeah, like, 0:06:25.800 --> 0:06:28.680 even when fighting, I think that you and I haven't 0:06:28.720 --> 0:06:32.600 done this because like we're so this is so much 0:06:32.640 --> 0:06:35.320 about our personalities and our chemistry, so it is hard 0:06:35.360 --> 0:06:37.159 to fight into an episode and to come out good. 0:06:37.440 --> 0:06:39.680 I'm like, Okay, well, what's a gesture to social body? 0:06:39.800 --> 0:06:42.320 Like I know that we're not agreeing on one thing 0:06:42.400 --> 0:06:46.080 right now, like professional ship, but like this relationship should 0:06:46.120 --> 0:06:48.600 still be okay. And that's what I'm like basically trying 0:06:48.640 --> 0:06:52.320 to do with the future of us when we argue, 0:06:52.480 --> 0:06:55.599 really make it just that workship, but not get angry 0:06:55.640 --> 0:06:58.200 with Mandy. You know what I'm saying. I'm mad about 0:06:58.200 --> 0:07:01.080 how Mandy wants something done, but I can't be mad 0:07:01.120 --> 0:07:04.000 at you. Like it's just we're disagreeing on the work project. 0:07:04.080 --> 0:07:06.680 I've done it my whole life with working right, So 0:07:06.680 --> 0:07:09.160 it's like, why do we get so personal? And I'm 0:07:09.240 --> 0:07:11.680 like really trying my best to like separate. I love 0:07:11.720 --> 0:07:14.200 that you're trying to separate that bitch. My therapist also 0:07:14.320 --> 0:07:16.360 so good because i'd be trying to be all business. 0:07:16.440 --> 0:07:20.080 I just wrote her an email on strictly business. She 0:07:20.160 --> 0:07:23.440 wrote me back forty paragraphs and everything started with I 0:07:23.480 --> 0:07:25.320 feel like I feel like and I'm like, man, but 0:07:25.480 --> 0:07:27.400 we're just trying to talk about business and you're bringing 0:07:27.400 --> 0:07:29.160 in our relationship. I just want to talk about business 0:07:29.240 --> 0:07:31.480 right now. But there is I feel like trying to 0:07:31.520 --> 0:07:36.360 find that lot. I like it. I'm taking it all out. 0:07:36.800 --> 0:07:41.080 Here's the thing, Like, I'm super emotional and I feel 0:07:41.160 --> 0:07:44.800 like Mandy. Okay, I had to be that person, But 0:07:44.880 --> 0:07:48.600 what are your signs? Girl? We didn't. We did a 0:07:48.600 --> 0:07:53.000 whole guy day, but the pisces I'm a libra. Okay, okay, 0:07:53.160 --> 0:07:56.080 why were you thinking in your head? No, No, I 0:07:56.160 --> 0:07:58.400 just wanted I just wanted to see because that that 0:07:58.440 --> 0:08:03.960 helped me a little bit. For me. I want her 0:08:04.000 --> 0:08:06.280 to understand because like, yeah, I want her business to work. 0:08:06.320 --> 0:08:08.880 But you have to remember, like, my feelings are super 0:08:08.880 --> 0:08:11.240 invested in a lot of this ship, right so to me, 0:08:11.320 --> 0:08:13.480 I'll be like give them ships out. But if my 0:08:13.560 --> 0:08:17.280 feelings aren't good with her, I can't do business. Like 0:08:17.320 --> 0:08:19.160 if I walk into the office and someone comes an 0:08:19.200 --> 0:08:21.680 attitude of me fucking done, it ruins everything. And see, 0:08:21.680 --> 0:08:24.440 to me, I've learned like we if we have a 0:08:24.480 --> 0:08:26.480 common goal at work. And I've played sports my whole 0:08:26.520 --> 0:08:28.440 life as well, so there's been people that I hate 0:08:28.440 --> 0:08:32.000 playing basketball with or I did the relay on track, 0:08:32.080 --> 0:08:34.839 and so there's all these relationships that I've had where 0:08:35.320 --> 0:08:37.480 my nigga once we have something to come to like, 0:08:37.559 --> 0:08:39.560 let's just talk about that, take your personal ship out 0:08:39.600 --> 0:08:41.760 of it. And I've always taken personal ship out of it. 0:08:42.200 --> 0:08:44.040 I just got a job and didn't have to interact. 0:08:44.080 --> 0:08:46.080 That's different. That's why I could have sex and still 0:08:46.120 --> 0:08:49.040 not become I've never had a job like this. Me 0:08:49.120 --> 0:08:51.520 and you, if we don't click, our ship doesn't work period. 0:08:51.960 --> 0:08:53.680 Like you because you being your feelings, I know you're 0:08:53.840 --> 0:08:58.959 coming to a bitch. Okay, let's talk about feminism. Are 0:08:59.000 --> 0:09:01.920 you Are you straight? Because I don't want to hit 0:09:01.960 --> 0:09:03.959 on you and make you feel uncomfortable, but you're beautiful Yea. 0:09:04.080 --> 0:09:06.320 Our guests, if you listen, I know you'll be listening 0:09:06.320 --> 0:09:08.160 to us. Y'all gotta watch this whole No, you're not 0:09:08.200 --> 0:09:11.920 a story. Okay, y'all, I'm not gonna restrain me like 0:09:12.400 --> 0:09:17.679 bell hooks right now. Okay. Like, so, we have a 0:09:17.720 --> 0:09:19.920 guest in the studio. Guys, her name is Mars. Can 0:09:19.960 --> 0:09:22.120 you go ahead and introduce yourself to our audience? Hi, 0:09:22.400 --> 0:09:27.240 Mars love Joy. Um, yeah, I think I'm I was 0:09:27.280 --> 0:09:29.040 thinking about this in the shower. I was like, they're 0:09:29.040 --> 0:09:33.480 gonna have me try to introduce myself about He asked me, like, 0:09:33.720 --> 0:09:36.160 who is she? And I'm like, yo, I don't know. 0:09:36.280 --> 0:09:40.480 I just know she's feminists flying, this is us feeding. 0:09:40.760 --> 0:09:44.120 Rihanna follows her, she said, we are. That's only what 0:09:44.160 --> 0:09:45.880 she said. I said, who is she? She's like, well, 0:09:45.960 --> 0:09:50.960 Rihanna follows her. So she's like what it is like, 0:09:51.040 --> 0:09:53.960 it's funny when you find someone who's like it ain't 0:09:53.960 --> 0:09:55.960 like you have millions of followers anything, right, but that 0:09:56.080 --> 0:09:58.600 like all these industry people follow and you're super chill 0:09:58.679 --> 0:10:00.559 and there's not like you're You're not a singer, you're 0:10:00.600 --> 0:10:03.840 not an actor. So you're right, Look, she does everything 0:10:04.240 --> 0:10:06.800 we don't know, So tell us what what do you 0:10:06.840 --> 0:10:09.080 do or why are you known? Because you do have 0:10:09.120 --> 0:10:13.959 a blue check? Right, no, chick, Okay, so what is 0:10:14.000 --> 0:10:16.079 it that you do? Um, I don't think they want 0:10:16.120 --> 0:10:18.240 me to have a blue check? Say that ship, but 0:10:18.280 --> 0:10:20.240 what are you gonna have one for a bit? That's 0:10:20.240 --> 0:10:23.440 the thing. Well I do. So I started when I 0:10:23.440 --> 0:10:26.040 graduated high school. I started doing music and I was 0:10:26.120 --> 0:10:30.760 like full for is doing like rapping singing. Yeah, so 0:10:30.800 --> 0:10:34.920 I had a little music like moment like open for Erica. 0:10:38.120 --> 0:10:42.280 That's not a little music, Okay, it was popping. But 0:10:42.320 --> 0:10:47.240 then I quickly realized, like I had to really now 0:10:47.280 --> 0:10:50.120 I was young. I was like eighteen nineteen, and like 0:10:50.480 --> 0:10:54.400 being that young around a whole bunch of men, grown 0:10:54.440 --> 0:10:57.040 men moving in this music industry for a long time, 0:10:57.160 --> 0:11:00.360 like trying to make me like a sex and bowl 0:11:00.440 --> 0:11:02.880 and I wasn't there at that, Like I was like 0:11:03.000 --> 0:11:06.160 super humble or like I wasn't gonna like left Eye 0:11:06.240 --> 0:11:10.400 Missy Elliott, you know, like I was on that so 0:11:10.559 --> 0:11:14.560 um so it just had to learn a lot through that. 0:11:14.920 --> 0:11:18.080 And but in that like I like all of my 0:11:18.160 --> 0:11:21.679 friends were making music, and I knew that eventually my 0:11:21.679 --> 0:11:24.680 friends were going to blow up and like be superstars 0:11:24.760 --> 0:11:38.760 like not not re read but Nicknaked, Um but so 0:11:38.760 --> 0:11:40.920 so that's how I started and I was acting and 0:11:40.960 --> 0:11:43.440 so a lot of people know me from that and 0:11:43.480 --> 0:11:50.800 then um, just like being in every fashion week. No, no, 0:11:51.000 --> 0:11:53.280 are you working for a magazine? Right? So my husband 0:11:53.280 --> 0:11:57.959 has Office magazine and like I help with that. But um, 0:11:58.000 --> 0:11:59.880 but yeah, so I've been and I grew up my 0:12:00.040 --> 0:12:03.120 the link like being like a child model and stuff 0:12:03.160 --> 0:12:06.000 like that. So I've been in this kind of industry 0:12:06.000 --> 0:12:09.200 and I think you know that's why, and that's I'm 0:12:09.240 --> 0:12:12.559 sorry the creative industry that you keepep going. But I'm 0:12:12.559 --> 0:12:15.320 also just really glad that you've kind of had that 0:12:15.920 --> 0:12:19.400 in in the industry because we're talking about feminism and 0:12:19.440 --> 0:12:21.240 being in the space where we're at now with the 0:12:21.240 --> 0:12:23.240 Me Too movement, Time's Up and all of that thing, 0:12:23.600 --> 0:12:26.400 um and all of the people in the industry coming 0:12:26.400 --> 0:12:28.560 out and saying how women are treated and what is 0:12:28.559 --> 0:12:32.120 expected of women um at these young ages from girl 0:12:32.200 --> 0:12:33.600 groups and all of that. So you kind of have 0:12:33.640 --> 0:12:35.000 an in in that. So I'm excited to kind of 0:12:35.040 --> 0:12:38.559 even touch on that. Um, do you want Yeah, I 0:12:38.960 --> 0:12:41.280 only have a few more questions. I want to know. 0:12:41.559 --> 0:12:44.560 I honestly would stand you and your man like for 0:12:44.600 --> 0:12:46.520 at least fucking when did you get married a year ago? 0:12:46.920 --> 0:12:51.320 We got married October teventeen. Damn, I've been fucking following 0:12:51.320 --> 0:12:55.720 you that long. Yo, y'all. Win was crazy. You had 0:12:55.760 --> 0:13:00.120 a cage on your face, and Ship, I was like, in, 0:13:00.240 --> 0:13:02.600 you know, he got the little year old look. You know, 0:13:02.640 --> 0:13:06.280 I stand for a little's way. So I wanted to discuss, like, 0:13:06.360 --> 0:13:09.160 so you met your husband, you seem very pro black. 0:13:09.640 --> 0:13:12.400 I am very pro black, Yeah, but I don't. I don't. 0:13:12.400 --> 0:13:13.880 I don't know you, right, So you seemed very pro 0:13:14.000 --> 0:13:16.360 black from your Instagram I'm watching and then I was like, oh, Ship, 0:13:16.520 --> 0:13:18.720 but your man's find the book. They get married, it's 0:13:18.760 --> 0:13:20.960 do pass wedding. Like, how has it been for you 0:13:21.040 --> 0:13:25.320 with interracial relationship? Like have you had one before? Not really? 0:13:25.360 --> 0:13:28.280 Like I like funked around with some white boys in 0:13:28.320 --> 0:13:33.640 the past before, but like not really um like Filipino 0:13:33.920 --> 0:13:37.760 Latino black like that. I never like had a real 0:13:37.880 --> 0:13:41.760 white man. So I kind of want to dig into 0:13:42.000 --> 0:13:45.280 not not dig into it too much. But so I 0:13:45.320 --> 0:13:47.319 had this um. I was a part of this conversation 0:13:47.320 --> 0:13:50.320 on the grapevine UM, and it was about kind of 0:13:51.760 --> 0:13:54.400 people who are pro black, like the Childish Gambino and 0:13:54.440 --> 0:13:58.079 all these people, and then you are all the time 0:13:58.160 --> 0:14:01.240 you are with someone who's white. Does like, how do 0:14:01.360 --> 0:14:04.160 how does that work? Like I can't imagine myself as 0:14:04.200 --> 0:14:06.559 being someone who's pro black and I'm all here from 0:14:06.559 --> 0:14:09.720 my kings, and then I marry a white man, um, 0:14:09.760 --> 0:14:11.280 And I think the same with Childish Game, you know, 0:14:11.360 --> 0:14:13.440 you do everything for the black community, the same with 0:14:13.600 --> 0:14:16.640 um who's Jordan Peel. All of these people are so 0:14:16.679 --> 0:14:19.040 pro black, and then you're with a white woman and 0:14:19.080 --> 0:14:21.560 in your case, like, how does that work? And why? 0:14:21.880 --> 0:14:25.120 I think? I think, first of all, like it's transparency. 0:14:25.360 --> 0:14:28.720 I think, you know, like for me, like I'm not 0:14:28.720 --> 0:14:32.120 trying to hide anything, you know, and I didn't like 0:14:32.480 --> 0:14:35.360 even Virgil, you know, like there's these men who like 0:14:35.480 --> 0:14:38.680 these black men who like it kind of seems like 0:14:38.760 --> 0:14:43.080 they're like hiding their partners in a sense, their white partners. 0:14:43.120 --> 0:14:46.400 And so that's one thing. But also like as a 0:14:46.480 --> 0:14:50.320 black woman, just my history and like an our history 0:14:50.360 --> 0:14:53.400 of like being like you know, even going back from 0:14:53.440 --> 0:14:57.240 ancestry and like you know, being brought here to this 0:14:57.360 --> 0:15:00.480 country and like being told what we can can't do 0:15:00.560 --> 0:15:02.280 and how we can use our bodies and when we 0:15:02.280 --> 0:15:06.440 can use our bodies and all of and just like 0:15:07.040 --> 0:15:09.840 being in that space like for a black woman, like 0:15:09.960 --> 0:15:11.800 I feel like I can do whatever the funk I 0:15:11.840 --> 0:15:15.800 want to do and like and whoever I love and 0:15:15.800 --> 0:15:18.840 whoever I choose to love and whoever I'm with like that, 0:15:19.960 --> 0:15:23.480 Like now y'all are giving my husband power like, oh, 0:15:23.600 --> 0:15:26.680 she can't be pro black because of this person, and 0:15:26.760 --> 0:15:29.640 like and so like, and I feel like damn, like 0:15:29.840 --> 0:15:32.080 I here, I am doing work in my community. Here, 0:15:32.120 --> 0:15:35.480 I am being transparent. Here, I am speaking about all 0:15:35.520 --> 0:15:38.320 of these things. Yet y'all are based in me off 0:15:38.360 --> 0:15:41.280 of who I'm with, that to me is not pro black. 0:15:42.400 --> 0:15:44.560 So so I've had a lot of time to think 0:15:44.560 --> 0:15:47.800 about those things. But also like I never thought I 0:15:47.920 --> 0:15:50.280 was gonna like be with a white man like I 0:15:50.440 --> 0:15:56.880 always I always and I always like the way I 0:15:56.960 --> 0:15:59.840 envisioned my children, like my mom and dad are black, 0:16:00.040 --> 0:16:03.240 like like the way I envisioned my children are. You know, 0:16:03.440 --> 0:16:05.440 I was gonna have a little brown baby like so 0:16:05.600 --> 0:16:10.160 like that, you know. But also I'm I was in 0:16:10.200 --> 0:16:12.560 the space like and it's so crazy to be in 0:16:12.600 --> 0:16:15.600 the engine engine room because like before I met my husband, 0:16:15.640 --> 0:16:18.360 I was dating Prodigy and like this was his main 0:16:19.160 --> 0:16:24.960 this is where he works out of was Um and 0:16:25.000 --> 0:16:27.880 so like I was, I just I was in the 0:16:28.000 --> 0:16:32.160 space where like you know, I've I've tried, like I've 0:16:32.160 --> 0:16:36.040 had these like dated women, dated men, like different races, 0:16:36.040 --> 0:16:37.840 Like I've never even been that type of person to 0:16:37.960 --> 0:16:40.520 like really trip on like on what like you could 0:16:40.560 --> 0:16:43.480 line all my people up like their sex, like their 0:16:43.520 --> 0:16:47.440 gender is different, they look different, Like it's all like that, 0:16:47.640 --> 0:16:49.720 do you guys dentify his buying Caeer my home girl 0:16:49.840 --> 0:16:51.880 just says, all my niggas like they put two point oh, 0:16:51.920 --> 0:16:54.120 three point oh, they're like all these niggas are brothers. 0:16:54.200 --> 0:16:56.920 Like all the guys I did would look alike, Like 0:16:56.960 --> 0:16:59.480 I have a type so here that you're able to 0:16:59.560 --> 0:17:02.840 like say like listening to type, though I don't think 0:17:03.120 --> 0:17:05.120 I don't think so either. I mean I think when 0:17:05.119 --> 0:17:07.240 it's a fetish, like you know, that's the bad thing. 0:17:07.280 --> 0:17:09.359 But I mean that I don't have a type of 0:17:09.800 --> 0:17:12.720 well my type really color, but they kind of are 0:17:12.760 --> 0:17:15.800 the same. Like creative dudes. I like tall dudes. I 0:17:15.880 --> 0:17:19.040 like tattoos. I like folk niggas. I love when they're 0:17:19.040 --> 0:17:22.560 like yo, my feministion to ah, that's always been like 0:17:22.800 --> 0:17:25.240 white or black, they're always kind of the same. You know, 0:17:25.720 --> 0:17:28.120 my name is different. I feel like, but I feel 0:17:28.160 --> 0:17:31.200 like when it becomes toxic to you and you're just 0:17:31.280 --> 0:17:34.520 like you're just resisting against it, kind of like that 0:17:34.600 --> 0:17:37.280 quote that you brought up, you know, like pretending to 0:17:37.359 --> 0:17:40.760 be happy in these spaces, like I think I was 0:17:40.800 --> 0:17:42.840 at a time I had my best one of my 0:17:42.880 --> 0:17:45.720 best closest friends have passed away, and then like I 0:17:45.760 --> 0:17:49.000 was dating Simon and I was like, nah, I'm not 0:17:49.040 --> 0:17:52.159 doing anything, like my whole life just changed. But he 0:17:52.320 --> 0:17:54.680 was like, no, I'm gonna stick around. And I think 0:17:54.720 --> 0:17:58.880 like being able to receive love like whenever it comes, 0:17:58.920 --> 0:18:02.959 however it comes, I think that is really important. And 0:18:03.000 --> 0:18:05.280 I think you know a lot of people kind of 0:18:05.320 --> 0:18:08.160 like you said, like you have this idea of what 0:18:10.280 --> 0:18:13.120 what love looks like and in your mind, and if 0:18:13.119 --> 0:18:15.600 it doesn't pan out like that, if you keep on 0:18:15.600 --> 0:18:18.240 trying to force it to be like that, then you're 0:18:18.280 --> 0:18:20.639 not going to be happy. I really like that what 0:18:20.760 --> 0:18:22.879 you just said, because someone said to me once like 0:18:23.880 --> 0:18:28.480 recently with dating two people, right, troublesque kind of relationship 0:18:28.520 --> 0:18:32.560 going on and she was like, well, if it doesn't 0:18:32.600 --> 0:18:35.840 work out, like then maybe a proof that troubles aren't successful. 0:18:35.840 --> 0:18:38.640 And I was like, what, Like, I've had love, I've 0:18:38.680 --> 0:18:41.760 had broken up with people, and I considered them successful relationships. 0:18:42.200 --> 0:18:45.200 Not every ending. I've had successful jobs that I've ended, 0:18:45.640 --> 0:18:49.040 you know, like not every ending is means that it failed, 0:18:49.800 --> 0:18:52.280 you know, Like I am happy with the love I'm 0:18:52.320 --> 0:18:54.800 receiving right now if it ends up growing into something cool. 0:18:54.800 --> 0:18:58.600 If it doesn't cool, like I'm really a fan of leaving, 0:18:58.640 --> 0:19:01.600 Like things just happen where they those too, And what 0:19:01.640 --> 0:19:03.760 you were saying about people have an idea of marriage. 0:19:04.240 --> 0:19:06.520 I'm curious to know because you were like I told him, 0:19:06.560 --> 0:19:09.840 Nah was it casual? Like how did it start? How 0:19:09.880 --> 0:19:11.840 did I was dating start? Yeah? Like do you feel 0:19:11.840 --> 0:19:15.879 like you knew when you knew? I was like this 0:19:15.920 --> 0:19:18.960 will be a little summer fling or something like I 0:19:19.040 --> 0:19:24.159 was not. I wasn't looking for and we are we 0:19:24.240 --> 0:19:28.320 are believe it's real. So but you know I had 0:19:28.680 --> 0:19:30.840 like I was like I was dating Prodigy and like 0:19:30.920 --> 0:19:34.359 we had a great like we were friends before and 0:19:34.520 --> 0:19:37.600 we had a great like it was it was one 0:19:37.640 --> 0:19:41.119 of those like really fiery passionate, this is amazing. But 0:19:41.200 --> 0:19:43.919 then we crashed and burn type relationship, you know, And 0:19:43.960 --> 0:19:46.639 so I was coming off of that um. Two thousand 0:19:46.680 --> 0:19:50.000 sixteen like was a horrible year for me personally, Like 0:19:50.080 --> 0:19:52.120 I lost a lot of people, and my grandfather died, 0:19:52.160 --> 0:19:54.159 one of my best friends died. Like, so I was 0:19:54.200 --> 0:19:56.960 in this space where I was like, funk everybody every same. 0:19:57.240 --> 0:20:01.520 A year later, we'd so we start like we pretty 0:20:01.600 --> 0:20:04.040 much like we're like, okay, we're boyfriend and girlfriend now. 0:20:04.200 --> 0:20:09.399 October two thousand and sixteen, he proposed. April two thousand seven, 0:20:09.800 --> 0:20:15.919 I got pregnant. I got I got pregnant like into August, 0:20:16.080 --> 0:20:18.560 and then that October we got married. And then that 0:20:18.640 --> 0:20:23.320 next April we had the baby. Wow, happens that fast? 0:20:23.560 --> 0:20:27.800 Where my niggat I falling? You've been you've been telling 0:20:27.800 --> 0:20:30.960 Bobby No, oh no that's gonna stay. I'm sorry. I 0:20:31.000 --> 0:20:32.880 don't actually have a Bobby at all, Like I don't 0:20:32.880 --> 0:20:35.040 have none of what I'm saying. By no, that's what 0:20:35.080 --> 0:20:37.560 I'm saying. I have no white men even I mean 0:20:37.720 --> 0:20:42.600 not even mixed with white. Like weally met at a party, 0:20:43.000 --> 0:20:44.720 Like we met at one of his party. Is that 0:20:44.840 --> 0:20:48.359 my like my black homeboy invited, like you know, so 0:20:48.400 --> 0:20:51.800 it was I'm going that you got a very good 0:20:51.880 --> 0:20:54.320 like if no one's ever been a white guy, like 0:20:54.720 --> 0:20:57.720