1
00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:15,520
Speaker 1: So I wanted to talk about what has just come

2
00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:18,599
Speaker 1: to me to be three ms, just because not because

3
00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:20,560
Speaker 1: I thought of it ahead of time, but just because

4
00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:23,680
Speaker 1: the three things I want to talk about are ms.

5
00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:27,840
Speaker 1: One is men, like I want to give men advice

6
00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:30,640
Speaker 1: because we're always talking about what women should do, and

7
00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:32,760
Speaker 1: I don't want to be so blanket and saying that

8
00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:35,320
Speaker 1: men are clueless. But I do think that many men

9
00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:37,159
Speaker 1: are clueless. I'll just be the one to say that.

10
00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:39,400
Speaker 1: So I want to get and women are clueless too,

11
00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:41,720
Speaker 1: but men are clueless. So I want to give some

12
00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:46,080
Speaker 1: tips to men on dating and relationships. I want to

13
00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:51,559
Speaker 1: talk about possibly merging, like blending families, like merging you

14
00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:54,520
Speaker 1: know how important it is to own property together, or

15
00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:58,320
Speaker 1: like kids merging how different people handle that.

16
00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:00,240
Speaker 2: So I want to talk about men.

17
00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:04,959
Speaker 1: Merging, and money like which is similar to merging, Like

18
00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:07,040
Speaker 1: how you deal with money. And everyone has a different

19
00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:09,479
Speaker 1: approach to money, and it doesn't really matter if one

20
00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:12,240
Speaker 1: person's even if both people are wealthy, they could have

21
00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:16,880
Speaker 1: too drastically different ways of approaching money. Someone could be frugal,

22
00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:19,680
Speaker 1: someone could be a spender like some people gift giving

23
00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:20,760
Speaker 1: is their love language.

24
00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:22,000
Speaker 2: Some people will spend millions of.

25
00:01:21,959 --> 00:01:24,760
Speaker 1: Dollars on real estate, but no money on clothes, Like

26
00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:27,480
Speaker 1: there's just there're just money as a whole bag of

27
00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:31,880
Speaker 1: you know, a bag, a whole bag of money. So

28
00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:33,760
Speaker 1: what is exciting to you about these three times?

29
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:33,800
Speaker 3: Like?

30
00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:34,800
Speaker 2: What do you want to talk about? First?

31
00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:36,960
Speaker 1: We could talk about men, like giving that what are

32
00:01:36,959 --> 00:01:40,040
Speaker 1: you interested in? Oh my gosh, they're all yes, I'd

33
00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:42,399
Speaker 1: love to talk about men. I'm I'm I love all

34
00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:43,200
Speaker 1: three topics.

35
00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:47,840
Speaker 3: I'm so excited to address some tips from the Playbook

36
00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:51,680
Speaker 3: of Women that I constantly hear. And this applies to

37
00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:54,680
Speaker 3: all men across every decade, no matter what their age is,

38
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:58,520
Speaker 3: where they live, what their ethnicity is, whatever their life

39
00:01:58,560 --> 00:01:59,120
Speaker 3: page is.

40
00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:01,680
Speaker 2: It's it's literally a universal theme.

41
00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:04,400
Speaker 3: What I always hear complaints about people when they meet

42
00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:06,640
Speaker 3: people before they come to selective search, of course, but.

43
00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:10,240
Speaker 2: Ongoing, all right, frustrations that men need some tips. Let's

44
00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:11,480
Speaker 2: play tennis. Let's go.

45
00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:15,560
Speaker 1: You come up with one thing about men that they

46
00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:17,639
Speaker 1: that they a tip like that. We have to not

47
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:20,799
Speaker 1: like it has to be like prescriptive because men are

48
00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:22,720
Speaker 1: not going to we cannot thrown on. We have to

49
00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:24,960
Speaker 1: go like, this is a tip we can discuss it.

50
00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:26,440
Speaker 1: Then I'll give what I think a tip. I don't

51
00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:28,320
Speaker 1: even have any in my mind, but I'm sure i'll

52
00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:31,080
Speaker 1: come right away. So yeah, I have so give a

53
00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:34,600
Speaker 1: tip for men that men like need to know and

54
00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:37,200
Speaker 1: must do in dating and or relationships.

55
00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:40,160
Speaker 2: They need to be a man with the plan. They

56
00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:41,600
Speaker 2: need to plan.

57
00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:45,080
Speaker 3: And schedule ahead. Is if you think about a woman

58
00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:47,320
Speaker 3: who they ask them out. They need to also tell

59
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:50,079
Speaker 3: us where where we're going so we know what to wear.

60
00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:55,200
Speaker 3: But they need to first plan the date. They can't

61
00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:57,400
Speaker 3: just have not have a reservation. They have to have

62
00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:02,360
Speaker 3: the right time. Ask someone about is there food energies,

63
00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:05,080
Speaker 3: cuisine preferences. They just need to have a plan and

64
00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:06,160
Speaker 3: be thoughtful about it.

65
00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:09,480
Speaker 1: Okay, So I'm going to challenge that, not just for

66
00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:12,200
Speaker 1: the sake of it, but explain an experience of mind.

67
00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:14,600
Speaker 1: So I was in the Hampton this summer and someone

68
00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:16,200
Speaker 1: wanted to have a plan with me, and they asked me,

69
00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:18,960
Speaker 1: do you want to get together Saturday night? And they

70
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:21,720
Speaker 1: didn't really have a plan and said, I don't know

71
00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:24,000
Speaker 1: if they said what do you want to do or something,

72
00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:26,880
Speaker 1: I don't remember, but they weren't from the Hamptons.

73
00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:30,280
Speaker 2: But we're staying there for like three weeks.

74
00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:32,360
Speaker 1: And by the way, someone not from somewhere can do research,

75
00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:35,960
Speaker 1: can ask people, et cetera. But I believe and have

76
00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:42,000
Speaker 1: come to realize that they probably were worried that like

77
00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:44,839
Speaker 1: I would definitely know better, and maybe because of who

78
00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:48,000
Speaker 1: I am and that I'm like savvy or seem like

79
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,680
Speaker 1: a certain type of person, that they were going to

80
00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:52,920
Speaker 1: just like fire a random shot and come up with

81
00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:55,480
Speaker 1: something and that either wouldn't be good enough or that

82
00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:56,560
Speaker 1: it wouldn't be.

83
00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:58,240
Speaker 2: Like a good idea.

84
00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:01,000
Speaker 1: And I said, in the text, which I know you

85
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,200
Speaker 1: guys always talk about leaning into your feminine energy, it's

86
00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:07,400
Speaker 1: ceter I said, whatever the text was, I was like,

87
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:11,280
Speaker 1: are you hesitating because you're not from here?

88
00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:12,320
Speaker 2: Do you need some help?

89
00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:16,480
Speaker 1: And he was like, I haven't been here in years.

90
00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:21,799
Speaker 1: And I said, okay, well, here are a couple of choices.

91
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,560
Speaker 1: This place is there, and this is the vibe. This

92
00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:26,560
Speaker 1: is a situation where you could go on a boat.

93
00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:27,920
Speaker 1: I had to have this membership on a boat and

94
00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:30,200
Speaker 1: go and you can take the early plan or this

95
00:04:30,279 --> 00:04:32,960
Speaker 1: other thing. And he was like, I think we do

96
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,599
Speaker 1: the early plan on the boat. So I was kind

97
00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:38,440
Speaker 1: of the one who had the plan, but I am

98
00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:42,080
Speaker 1: a person that believes it. In a relationship, best idea wins.

99
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:46,400
Speaker 1: So in many cases, I'm the one who makes the plan,

100
00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:50,160
Speaker 1: but I require something else from the other person. Like

101
00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:52,719
Speaker 1: I relace the track, they like rock the flow. They

102
00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:54,159
Speaker 1: have to figure ou how we're getting there. They have

103
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:55,880
Speaker 1: to do them. If there's a map before hiking, like

104
00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:57,760
Speaker 1: we're going on a trail, they figure it out.

105
00:04:57,760 --> 00:04:59,920
Speaker 2: But I'll be like, let's go hiking this.

106
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:03,760
Speaker 3: This is more universal advice for what I hear constantly

107
00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:07,280
Speaker 3: from thousands and thousands of people saying, it's not attractive.

108
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,359
Speaker 3: That guy might be attractive to you because you know

109
00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:11,560
Speaker 3: who he is and you already know he's a desirable person.

110
00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:14,720
Speaker 3: It's not attractive if someone doesn't put care into the

111
00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:17,200
Speaker 3: beginning of the date, and if they don't know the place,

112
00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,560
Speaker 3: it's fair to either do research or say what is

113
00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:22,320
Speaker 3: your preferences. Some people don't want to date in their

114
00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:25,240
Speaker 3: exact town because they don't want the whole community to

115
00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:27,320
Speaker 3: know their business, so it might be the next town over.

116
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:28,839
Speaker 2: They want to go date somewhere else.

117
00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:31,720
Speaker 3: But I do think the overall tip to men should

118
00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:34,960
Speaker 3: start with they need to do the hunting. They need

119
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:39,159
Speaker 3: to put thought into it. No high quality woman wants

120
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,320
Speaker 3: a guy that's half asked that doesn't put a plan

121
00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:41,760
Speaker 3: or thought.

122
00:05:41,839 --> 00:05:44,440
Speaker 1: Okay, let's revise it because if we're writing a book together,

123
00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:46,960
Speaker 1: let's fill in the blank. So let's say a person

124
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:52,760
Speaker 1: should have the intention for a plan, but if they

125
00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:55,800
Speaker 1: are still assertive and know what they don't know, they

126
00:05:55,839 --> 00:05:58,240
Speaker 1: find a way that the other person knows that they

127
00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:01,320
Speaker 1: have a plan, or that they that their intention is

128
00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:05,440
Speaker 1: to have a plan, that they may not. Actually, they

129
00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:07,120
Speaker 1: may think they might not have the best idea and

130
00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:08,599
Speaker 1: that the person they're talking to, you might have a

131
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:09,040
Speaker 1: better idea.

132
00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:10,919
Speaker 2: So be collaborative if necessary.

133
00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:14,080
Speaker 3: Right, So let's revise it to be a good communicator

134
00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:16,680
Speaker 3: and be thoughtful to say, do you want me to

135
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:20,520
Speaker 3: take the lead of making some suggestions or or do

136
00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:23,120
Speaker 3: you have a certain place or idea that you'd have?

137
00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:23,800
Speaker 2: All right?

138
00:06:23,839 --> 00:06:26,680
Speaker 1: So chapter one is the intention for a plan, but

139
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:31,120
Speaker 1: the potential collaboration in the plan, correct.

140
00:06:30,839 --> 00:06:32,240
Speaker 2: All right, So that's a big thing.

141
00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:34,120
Speaker 1: All right, So that's good, So we work together. Well,

142
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,320
Speaker 1: that was good. That's good because, by the way, Barbie,

143
00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:39,000
Speaker 1: I've dated a lot more than you, so you have

144
00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:41,400
Speaker 1: been an expert at a higher level, you have a

145
00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:44,480
Speaker 1: texture that comes together where you're like a teacher of it.

146
00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:47,160
Speaker 2: But I'm like out there in the field and you're saying.

147
00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:48,719
Speaker 1: Don't get so drunk, and I'm getting black act drunk

148
00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:50,400
Speaker 1: sometimes with still ending up with the person like you're

149
00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:51,880
Speaker 1: trying to give totally gut level.

150
00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:53,440
Speaker 2: Yes, so yeah, all right.

151
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:55,960
Speaker 3: We were talking about how men need this this advice

152
00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,640
Speaker 3: because I don't think there's anyone giving them this advice.

153
00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:01,240
Speaker 3: So I think it's really important to know that if

154
00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:03,719
Speaker 3: you don't know a guy from Adam and you are

155
00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:07,560
Speaker 3: only able to evaluate him on his actions, if he

156
00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:11,760
Speaker 3: doesn't have the thoughtfulness to be a good communicator or

157
00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:13,800
Speaker 3: at least have an idea of a plan.

158
00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:16,200
Speaker 2: You can't just go somewhere on a Saturday night. The

159
00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:19,239
Speaker 2: average person can't and get and have a meal.

160
00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:22,360
Speaker 1: You're effectively saying that someone has to appear to be

161
00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:25,400
Speaker 1: making effort, which is interesting because it's literally the first

162
00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:27,680
Speaker 1: thing that you say that a man wants from a

163
00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:29,760
Speaker 1: woman in her appearance, and that she took care to

164
00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:31,240
Speaker 1: come to the date. The guy's about to pay for

165
00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:34,880
Speaker 1: a date in traditional systems, and she's showing up and

166
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:38,080
Speaker 1: she made efforts, so you're effectively It doesn't really matter

167
00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:41,240
Speaker 1: about the content, it's about the delivery.

168
00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:43,960
Speaker 2: It's the effort. It's putting the effort into it.

169
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:46,960
Speaker 1: So it's really more about the effort than correct calling

170
00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:48,880
Speaker 1: it a man with a plan. But the effort is

171
00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:50,920
Speaker 1: what it is. So let's say E for effort for

172
00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:53,000
Speaker 1: number one. We've even taken it deeper. All right, men,

173
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:54,240
Speaker 1: that's great.

174
00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:58,800
Speaker 3: Okay, So under the whole theme of effort, I do

175
00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:02,600
Speaker 3: think that hygie and sometimes is overlooked and I don't

176
00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:05,200
Speaker 3: know what it is, but we hear this from people

177
00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:08,080
Speaker 3: go on dates on apps all the time that say

178
00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:11,920
Speaker 3: they didn't put an effort, like they're they have Noah's hair,

179
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:16,120
Speaker 3: they have ear here, their eyebrows were bushy, they had

180
00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:19,160
Speaker 3: something on their shirt, they all the different things, so

181
00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:21,720
Speaker 3: like it's really important as a man.

182
00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:23,080
Speaker 2: That's interesting.

183
00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:25,239
Speaker 1: So we're saying, so this is good because we're opening

184
00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:28,040
Speaker 1: it up even bigger that it's effectively effort.

185
00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:30,679
Speaker 2: It's effectively effort. Okay, so that's great.

186
00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:33,880
Speaker 3: It's women are dolling up right, like we're putting an effort,

187
00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:37,560
Speaker 3: and we always hear that it. Men appreciate when we

188
00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:40,280
Speaker 3: put an effort for a date, and women are saying

189
00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:42,959
Speaker 3: the same thing about men, like make sure that you're

190
00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:43,760
Speaker 3: putting an effort.

191
00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:45,920
Speaker 2: Make sure that your version of dolling.

192
00:08:45,679 --> 00:08:49,560
Speaker 3: Up, which is take a shower, look presentable, make sure

193
00:08:49,559 --> 00:08:52,280
Speaker 3: that your nails are clean. It sounds so basic and like,

194
00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:55,679
Speaker 3: who what wouldn't be doing? It's a deal. We're are

195
00:08:55,679 --> 00:08:59,640
Speaker 3: not dirty. Yeah, I heard from my daughters all the

196
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:02,439
Speaker 3: way to people all ages that have gone on dates

197
00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:04,720
Speaker 3: prior of course to us fixing them up, of just

198
00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:07,960
Speaker 3: people that are just not showing the effort. So I

199
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:10,840
Speaker 3: think through hygiene head to toe that you put an effort.

200
00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:14,520
Speaker 1: It's true because I've also found that like once a

201
00:09:14,559 --> 00:09:16,719
Speaker 1: guy's locked in and really likes you, then all of

202
00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:19,360
Speaker 1: a sudden he's like you're finding that he's manscaping because

203
00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:22,320
Speaker 1: he's like sort of more intentional and more into the effort.

204
00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:23,720
Speaker 2: So that's good because we made a.

205
00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:27,360
Speaker 1: Blanket general category called effort that involves your appear effort

206
00:09:27,559 --> 00:09:31,080
Speaker 1: and involves the plan that is flexible in its nature

207
00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:32,679
Speaker 1: based on who you're dealing with him where you are.

208
00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:36,360
Speaker 3: Okay, so give me another one, I would say, effort

209
00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:38,400
Speaker 3: on the date. So you want to make sure that

210
00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:42,080
Speaker 3: you're not well. First effort in following up to make sure,

211
00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:43,960
Speaker 3: like the day before the date, looking forward to seeing

212
00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:46,160
Speaker 3: you tomorrow, just something where they know it's confirmed if

213
00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:47,800
Speaker 3: it was scheduled before.

214
00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:51,680
Speaker 2: I love that. So effort is a big giant bucket.

215
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:55,080
Speaker 1: And then you're going into effort into the plan, into

216
00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:59,760
Speaker 1: the appearance, and then into the communication about what you're

217
00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:02,320
Speaker 1: yes the intention and also that you're excited.

218
00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:06,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, it just sets the tone like you took the time,

219
00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:09,720
Speaker 3: you care. You have to almost treat it. I mean

220
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,800
Speaker 3: it's more important than a business meeting because it's your

221
00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:14,000
Speaker 3: personal life, but it's like you have to treat it

222
00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:17,640
Speaker 3: as how you would attack a business meeting right or

223
00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:19,920
Speaker 3: something you'd go after that you really want, you have

224
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,040
Speaker 3: the strategic plan, it's the same thing. It's putting in

225
00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:24,800
Speaker 3: the effort to showing that you care, you're looking forward

226
00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:25,160
Speaker 3: to it.

227
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:29,520
Speaker 2: That quick text before the day before as well as

228
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:31,160
Speaker 2: after the date.

229
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:33,880
Speaker 3: I think it's important to say like, had a great

230
00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:35,839
Speaker 3: time or let me know when you get home safe.

231
00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:36,960
Speaker 2: That's a big pro tip.

232
00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:41,160
Speaker 3: So on the date you want to be plugged in engaging,

233
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:46,520
Speaker 3: be interesting and interested. So it's not a monologue. It's

234
00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:50,000
Speaker 3: a dialogue. It's not an interrogation. It's just a nice

235
00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:53,120
Speaker 3: back and forth, staying in the moment, having great conversation.

236
00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:56,800
Speaker 3: It's also being thoughtful, like if she seems cold by babies,

237
00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:59,280
Speaker 3: saying like to the manager, can you turn down the air?

238
00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:02,679
Speaker 3: Or was talking making sure that she feels like you're

239
00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:05,280
Speaker 3: she's being heard, understood.

240
00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:06,559
Speaker 2: And that you're being attended to her needs.

241
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:10,520
Speaker 1: Also, I would say then, like I don't want to

242
00:11:10,559 --> 00:11:13,720
Speaker 1: be a coworker with this person, meaning I don't want

243
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:16,000
Speaker 1: to be involved in the process of like the tables

244
00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:18,040
Speaker 1: at two top and between two other people that I'm

245
00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:20,040
Speaker 1: the one who's like, that's a little weird. Like I

246
00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:21,720
Speaker 1: was out with a guy that he was gonna accept

247
00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:24,560
Speaker 1: with me who is public and doesn't need people to

248
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:27,439
Speaker 1: my left and my right listening. You know, I'm in

249
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,840
Speaker 1: a two top against the wall, and like then there's

250
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:32,000
Speaker 1: two people on either side of me, you know, like,

251
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:32,520
Speaker 1: and I'm.

252
00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:33,040
Speaker 2: Like so key.

253
00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:35,079
Speaker 1: I had to say hey, like and I felt like

254
00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:37,280
Speaker 1: I was now being the man like to say, so

255
00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:39,600
Speaker 1: what table was it? I had a guy once do

256
00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:42,560
Speaker 1: advance work, like he walked in earlier, he went to

257
00:11:42,559 --> 00:11:44,520
Speaker 1: see what the table. As he came back, he texted

258
00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:45,200
Speaker 1: me that I should.

259
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,720
Speaker 2: Go on another entrance. There were a lot of people there.

260
00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:49,520
Speaker 1: Now that doesn't usually apply to most people, but as

261
00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:52,600
Speaker 1: knowing who I was, he had done some research on

262
00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:55,120
Speaker 1: who he was with, and he didn't want me to

263
00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:56,920
Speaker 1: walk into a crowded entrance and it to be all

264
00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:58,080
Speaker 1: weird that I was going on a date and it

265
00:11:58,120 --> 00:11:58,560
Speaker 1: was public.

266
00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:02,360
Speaker 3: So it shows such respect and such thoughtfulness. They could

267
00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:05,800
Speaker 3: get there fifteen minutes earlier. Talk to the hostess, say hey,

268
00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:09,280
Speaker 3: I'd love a corner table. Obviously in advance to ask

269
00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:11,680
Speaker 3: for a corner table, ask for a four top somewhere

270
00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:14,760
Speaker 3: private is great. But again, know your audience and know

271
00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:17,439
Speaker 3: what's a great ambience where you can actually hear each

272
00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:18,040
Speaker 3: other talking.

273
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:35,040
Speaker 1: What about men who always like to sit facing the door,

274
00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:37,160
Speaker 1: But isn't that the better seat and you're supposed to

275
00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:39,400
Speaker 1: give the woman the seat facing out of It really

276
00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:40,679
Speaker 1: doesn't matter, does it matter?

277
00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:41,520
Speaker 2: I don't think it matters.

278
00:12:41,559 --> 00:12:43,800
Speaker 3: The biggest thing is that you're not distracted by your

279
00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:46,400
Speaker 3: head is on a swivel where you're looking at every

280
00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:47,640
Speaker 3: other person but your date.

281
00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:49,080
Speaker 2: Same with the phone.

282
00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:50,840
Speaker 3: If you have kids and you need to keep your

283
00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:54,040
Speaker 3: phone out, turn it upside down, maybe call your kids before,

284
00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:56,320
Speaker 3: just letting them know that you're going into a meal,

285
00:12:56,679 --> 00:12:57,840
Speaker 3: and only call if need be.

286
00:12:58,240 --> 00:12:59,960
Speaker 1: I don't think you should turn it upside don't think

287
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:01,079
Speaker 1: I don't think it should be on the table.

288
00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:04,440
Speaker 3: Well, I'm saying upside down because sometimes people will put

289
00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:06,280
Speaker 3: it upside it and might not be appropriate to see

290
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:06,959
Speaker 3: what's coming in.

291
00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:08,679
Speaker 1: No, I'm saying, but I don't even think it should

292
00:13:08,679 --> 00:13:10,600
Speaker 1: be on the table, because that's fine, except for some

293
00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:12,120
Speaker 1: people might say it is the first time they have,

294
00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:13,920
Speaker 1: like a babysitter, or might be nervous about that.

295
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,240
Speaker 3: So it compromise is turning it down. But I agree,

296
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:18,000
Speaker 3: if possible, don't put.

297
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:18,440
Speaker 2: It on the table.

298
00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:20,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I but with that kind of thing

299
00:13:20,559 --> 00:13:22,240
Speaker 1: called the restaurant, I think you have to go old

300
00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:22,960
Speaker 1: school there too.

301
00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:25,319
Speaker 3: The other thing is is that you, yeah, you don't

302
00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:27,480
Speaker 3: want to make sure you're on the phone. Look in

303
00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:29,200
Speaker 3: business mode. I don't care what business deal you have

304
00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:31,040
Speaker 3: to do. Everything can wait a couple hours. Like this

305
00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:33,480
Speaker 3: is an important you have to show that it's a

306
00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:36,320
Speaker 3: priority and that you're like engaged in your conversation. So

307
00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:39,360
Speaker 3: I do think giving someone that the view is nice,

308
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,360
Speaker 3: but if it might be better to have the worse

309
00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:43,440
Speaker 3: views so you're not distracted by seeing what's around you

310
00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:45,520
Speaker 3: as well and can be more engaged.

311
00:13:45,559 --> 00:13:47,679
Speaker 2: Depending on I'll take it to the next level.

312
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:49,600
Speaker 1: I don't think when you get back from the bathroom,

313
00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:51,679
Speaker 1: the man should have, like had the urgency it'll pick

314
00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:53,240
Speaker 1: up his phone and look at it. So when you're

315
00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:55,720
Speaker 1: walking back to the table, he's looking at the phone.

316
00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:56,600
Speaker 2: I don't like that.

317
00:13:57,160 --> 00:13:59,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, I want him to be thinking about how great

318
00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:02,000
Speaker 1: the data is present, looking around, eating, eating a piece

319
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:02,400
Speaker 1: of bread.

320
00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:03,480
Speaker 2: I'm not interested.

321
00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:05,840
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not interested in like he rushed to

322
00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:07,440
Speaker 1: get on the phone and second I went to the bathroom.

323
00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:11,199
Speaker 3: No, no, no, But if he forever is he should send

324
00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:13,440
Speaker 3: you a text saying I'm on a date with the

325
00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:15,680
Speaker 3: hottest woman tonight, or how did.

326
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:17,440
Speaker 2: I get so lucky? Right? I did that well because

327
00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:17,880
Speaker 2: you said that?

328
00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:21,080
Speaker 3: Or something yeah cute sexy like flirty text because that's

329
00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:21,960
Speaker 3: kind of fun place.

330
00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:23,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, but yeah, I think phone needs to be off.

331
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:26,960
Speaker 3: But if you are sending a text communication before the

332
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:31,400
Speaker 3: date or after, you got to make sure you're being

333
00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:34,320
Speaker 3: mindful of your spelling. It's such a turn off when

334
00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:37,160
Speaker 3: people spell things wrong, and especially with autocorrect, it's even

335
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:38,640
Speaker 3: send the wrong text.

336
00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:41,600
Speaker 1: Wow, or the name wrong. I've had my name spelled wrong. Yeah,

337
00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:43,400
Speaker 1: you guy have to be thoughtful about things like that.

338
00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:46,160
Speaker 1: Just again paying attention to the little things. But here's

339
00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:51,000
Speaker 1: an advanced move that most men unfortunately mess up someone

340
00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:52,080
Speaker 1: or the dates.

341
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:54,920
Speaker 3: Over ubers are being ordered if you're not sharing a

342
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:59,280
Speaker 3: car together, and sometimes people will leave the dates without

343
00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:02,160
Speaker 3: waiting for the woman's Uber. And I think it's such

344
00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:06,400
Speaker 3: a class act. It happens all the time. What it's

345
00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:09,600
Speaker 3: such a class act to wait until the uber arrives.

346
00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:11,800
Speaker 2: I would literally never speak to the person again.

347
00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:12,120
Speaker 1: Never.

348
00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:14,480
Speaker 2: Back in the day, there was a cab and then

349
00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:15,200
Speaker 2: you could slide.

350
00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:17,600
Speaker 3: The gentleman could slide at twenty to the cab driver

351
00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:19,080
Speaker 3: saying make sure she gets home safe.

352
00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:20,480
Speaker 2: Nowadays, if someone's.

353
00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:22,640
Speaker 1: Going I mean, I don't thinking her own Uber and

354
00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:23,320
Speaker 1: paying for it either.

355
00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:26,320
Speaker 3: By the way, well, there's really no other there's not

356
00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:28,360
Speaker 3: a mechanism where you could gift an uber.

357
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:31,040
Speaker 1: There's you can't call an uber for something. Yes, you

358
00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:33,160
Speaker 1: can put in your own Uber account their two address

359
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:36,560
Speaker 1: could but they you could do that. Yeah, of course

360
00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:38,400
Speaker 1: they're sharing, but then you're sharing an Uber.

361
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:41,000
Speaker 2: No they're Uber. Oh you can't have two ubers going

362
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,680
Speaker 2: at the same time. You could for you and a kid.

363
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,160
Speaker 2: You call an uber, then you call it another ruber.

364
00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:47,440
Speaker 2: Now I see you're saying, so you first, first you

365
00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:49,520
Speaker 2: call for them, and then you call that for you. Yeah.

366
00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:52,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, most people just or most people are okay with

367
00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:56,040
Speaker 3: their having their ordering their own uber because what if

368
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,720
Speaker 3: they don't want the person to know where they're going

369
00:15:57,800 --> 00:15:59,040
Speaker 3: or their address or whatever.

370
00:15:58,840 --> 00:15:59,200
Speaker 2: It could be.

371
00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:03,880
Speaker 3: But I think it's very polite to wait, and it

372
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:05,680
Speaker 3: is a pro tip because a lot of people don't

373
00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:08,800
Speaker 3: have that. I think they're just ignoring you. They don't

374
00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:10,280
Speaker 3: know that that's not a polite thing to do. It's

375
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:11,360
Speaker 3: always waits, So.

376
00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:13,800
Speaker 1: No wonder everybody fails miserably because we're still on the

377
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,480
Speaker 1: first date. Is the man ordering for the woman? Because

378
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:18,200
Speaker 1: I've seen it both ways, what would you like and

379
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,600
Speaker 1: then you say it? Or he asks what you would

380
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,400
Speaker 1: like and then he orders for you. I do think

381
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:24,760
Speaker 1: that's a nice note that something a girl would tell

382
00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:27,480
Speaker 1: their girlfriend. It's not necessary, but I think it's a

383
00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:29,040
Speaker 1: nice thing. He finds out what you want. He's not

384
00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:31,640
Speaker 1: just saying we'll both have the blah. But I like

385
00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:33,680
Speaker 1: and I also think there should be a collaboration so

386
00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:35,600
Speaker 1: you can find it if the person is a sharer,

387
00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:38,160
Speaker 1: because I'm a sharer and I like to say, like,

388
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:39,200
Speaker 1: what do we want to get?

389
00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:41,480
Speaker 3: But that's so fun, that's part of the whole thing.

390
00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:43,920
Speaker 3: That's what I think that bond Like, let's share.

391
00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:44,600
Speaker 2: How about this?

392
00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:45,080
Speaker 1: Yeah?

393
00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:45,520
Speaker 2: I love it?

394
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:45,840
Speaker 1: Yeah?

395
00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:48,200
Speaker 2: Like or like I was thinking of getting to this.

396
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:49,920
Speaker 2: Do you like that? Because you could have a bite,

397
00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:50,440
Speaker 2: like you don't have.

398
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,080
Speaker 1: To push your thing on them or vice versa, but

399
00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:57,760
Speaker 1: collaborating and like what you're getting because it's interactive and

400
00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:59,160
Speaker 1: food's a great conversation piece.

401
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:00,640
Speaker 2: Why would it you And.

402
00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:02,600
Speaker 3: You could be playful for whatever reason you're not a

403
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:05,920
Speaker 3: share to say good because they'll have more more for

404
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:08,480
Speaker 3: me or something like that if they're not. But it

405
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,919
Speaker 3: is good to make it a fun experience because it

406
00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:13,000
Speaker 3: does bond you and it's kind of a happy thing

407
00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:13,840
Speaker 3: to talk about too.

408
00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:15,439
Speaker 2: It's like an icebreaker.

409
00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:18,320
Speaker 1: Mine is always awkward because I always have to say

410
00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:20,639
Speaker 1: I'm allergic to fish, and it has to get out

411
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,639
Speaker 1: of the way fast because if a guy might be

412
00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:24,879
Speaker 1: interested in kissing me, a third of the menu is

413
00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:25,720
Speaker 1: off limits for him.

414
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, right, So that so that's a whole that's it

415
00:17:28,320 --> 00:17:30,520
Speaker 3: could be playful on how you you know, spin that

416
00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:32,520
Speaker 3: as well, how you present that one hundred percent.

417
00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:34,720
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm just letting you know I'm definitely alerted

418
00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:35,080
Speaker 1: to fish.

419
00:17:35,119 --> 00:17:36,080
Speaker 2: So good.

420
00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:38,080
Speaker 1: So you're two minutes in, you're like, in the event

421
00:17:38,119 --> 00:17:40,680
Speaker 1: that we might kiss, fish is off the table. It's

422
00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:42,560
Speaker 1: not right, no, but it's kind of a fun thing

423
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:44,720
Speaker 1: because they know they have to navigate around that menu

424
00:17:45,359 --> 00:17:47,600
Speaker 1: and fast. And then I feel so selfish, like for

425
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,000
Speaker 1: the rest of their life, like if they want to

426
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,199
Speaker 1: be with me, they now cannot order fish at restaurants.

427
00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:54,000
Speaker 2: Like it's a big sacrifice for people. You're worth it.

428
00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:55,800
Speaker 2: So it's all good, Okay.

429
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:59,919
Speaker 3: The other thing that's important is so now you're leave

430
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:04,200
Speaker 3: the date and you could say it's very uncomfortable when

431
00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:07,280
Speaker 3: a guy asks a woman out for another date, because

432
00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:09,760
Speaker 3: sometimes people will polite and say yes when they don't

433
00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:12,040
Speaker 3: want to. So unless you really are vibing and you

434
00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:16,000
Speaker 3: already feel like it's kind of known that both people

435
00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:18,800
Speaker 3: want it, it's so much better to say you could say.

436
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:19,800
Speaker 2: I had such a wonderful time.

437
00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:21,280
Speaker 3: I hope to see you again, but not going in

438
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:23,919
Speaker 3: say detail and like assertive about it.

439
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,439
Speaker 2: Not like let's do this again. I'm around on Thursday.

440
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:30,480
Speaker 1: That's a great note because it's like putting the contract

441
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:33,119
Speaker 1: on the other person. You'd rather be like, get the

442
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:34,919
Speaker 1: vibe of if they also had a nice time, and

443
00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:37,159
Speaker 1: then you tomorrow you say it or you call.

444
00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:39,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, I had a wonderful time. I hope we could

445
00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:41,399
Speaker 3: do this again. Just something chill, but not putting the

446
00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:42,840
Speaker 3: pressure where they have to answer it.

447
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:44,840
Speaker 2: It leaves a little bit of a mystery.

448
00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:47,000
Speaker 3: But I do think it's nice to say, well, you

449
00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:49,679
Speaker 3: text me when you got home safe, because it shows

450
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:51,080
Speaker 3: that you care and you want to make sure they

451
00:18:51,119 --> 00:18:52,000
Speaker 3: get home safe.

452
00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:54,760
Speaker 2: And I think it's really a gentleman act to say,

453
00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:56,719
Speaker 2: like tex to me when you get home. Mind you, well,

454
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:57,800
Speaker 2: let's take a step further.

455
00:18:57,920 --> 00:18:59,960
Speaker 1: Even if you don't like the woman, why not say

456
00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:02,720
Speaker 1: that just you have a good representation you don't like

457
00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:03,119
Speaker 1: the woman.

458
00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:05,520
Speaker 3: It is so nice. That's the other thing, Like the

459
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:08,800
Speaker 3: ghosting has to stop. It is unbelievable. I know why

460
00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:11,160
Speaker 3: people do it. They don't want to hurt somebody's feelings,

461
00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:13,600
Speaker 3: so they would rather say I'm back with an ax

462
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:16,920
Speaker 3: or I just met someone, but it's not true. It's

463
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:18,960
Speaker 3: just they're not interested and they don't want to hurt

464
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:21,639
Speaker 3: someone's feelings. But they're gonna hurt someone's feelings more, and

465
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:23,840
Speaker 3: they're gonna make themselves look like an asshole by not

466
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:28,440
Speaker 3: following up. It's so much more attractive and just high

467
00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:31,760
Speaker 3: class to say I said a wonderful time tonight on

468
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:33,240
Speaker 3: text or the next day.

469
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:34,280
Speaker 2: I've given it more thought.

470
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:36,720
Speaker 3: I really I feel more of a friendship than a

471
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,760
Speaker 3: romantic connection, and I'm really holding up for that. We

472
00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:42,040
Speaker 3: both deserve that. Whoever gets you a super lucky I

473
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:44,040
Speaker 3: wish you all the best. It's just such a class act.

474
00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:45,000
Speaker 3: Go with the truth.

475
00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:48,120
Speaker 1: I said to a guy that was I was set

476
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:50,320
Speaker 1: up with. I said to a guy that yeah, I said,

477
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:52,800
Speaker 1: I don't remember what I said. I said something like,

478
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,240
Speaker 1: you call it a couple times, you want to go

479
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:56,119
Speaker 1: out again, you're dragging it out. I just said I

480
00:19:56,119 --> 00:20:00,520
Speaker 1: think you're amazing, and I eventually said not then, But

481
00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:03,679
Speaker 1: you know, I might know someone who's interesting. I'm not

482
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:05,320
Speaker 1: sure if it's a fit, but I think you're wonderful,

483
00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:07,200
Speaker 1: and anyone's lucky to just what you said.

484
00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:10,200
Speaker 2: They have a human being and you get a good reputation.

485
00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:12,399
Speaker 1: You don't know who you might set up, but you

486
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:13,760
Speaker 1: don't know that maybe they might set you up with

487
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:15,600
Speaker 1: their best friend. Once they meet someone, they may keep

488
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:18,439
Speaker 1: you in mind. There's no reason to burn a bridge

489
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:19,240
Speaker 1: and be a jerk.

490
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:22,560
Speaker 3: Correct If you're a class act. They're going to say,

491
00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:24,600
Speaker 3: oh my gosh, I'm so bummy. He doesn't like me,

492
00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:27,040
Speaker 3: but he's such a great guy. And they're gonna think

493
00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:28,639
Speaker 3: of a girlfriend saying he doesn't like me, but he

494
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:30,000
Speaker 3: might like you and he's such a good guy.

495
00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:32,560
Speaker 2: But if they someone thinks that you're in a relationship,

496
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:33,000
Speaker 2: you just.

497
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:36,720
Speaker 3: Totally cut yourself off from other opportunities and you're also lying.

498
00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:39,040
Speaker 2: And it's just it's you don't need to do that.

499
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:42,080
Speaker 3: Just get back to someone promptly, takes two seconds, as

500
00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:45,119
Speaker 3: in a text, say something warm, that's a sincere compliment,

501
00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:45,920
Speaker 3: and done.

502
00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:46,400
Speaker 2: It's over.

503
00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:50,600
Speaker 3: Then making somebody feel hurting their feelings and like it's painful.

504
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:51,920
Speaker 2: It's not necessary.

505
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not necessary, and you could cut them loose

506
00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:55,439
Speaker 1: real fast and a nice one.

507
00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:57,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's good. Karma points to do the right thing.

508
00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:59,600
Speaker 3: And just treat people how you want to be treated.

509
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:03,080
Speaker 3: Literally goes back down to kindergarten right of how you

510
00:21:03,119 --> 00:21:03,800
Speaker 3: want to be treated.

511
00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:06,840
Speaker 2: Treat people with that same kindness and that way, when it.

512
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:08,760
Speaker 3: Happens to you, you'll realize that you hope that that

513
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:11,240
Speaker 3: person would have handled it better themselves, like how you

514
00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:12,439
Speaker 3: are handling other people.

515
00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:15,320
Speaker 1: Well, same thing with business or a job interview when

516
00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:17,159
Speaker 1: someone just says like, it's not right, we're going with

517
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:17,720
Speaker 1: another person.

518
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:20,200
Speaker 2: Why leave you twisting in the wind for two weeks?

519
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:21,600
Speaker 2: So listen? So this works.

520
00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:25,800
Speaker 1: Also, I've had one person on an app say to

521
00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:30,960
Speaker 1: me that you match and you were texting I met someone,

522
00:21:31,119 --> 00:21:32,960
Speaker 1: I think I'm going to give it a go, et cetera.

523
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:35,159
Speaker 2: And you're like, great, good for you. You're cheering for them.

524
00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:35,840
Speaker 2: They're on an app.

525
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:38,200
Speaker 1: Yeah you don't even know them, but you're like yet

526
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:40,080
Speaker 1: versus like ghosting you and texting.

527
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:41,320
Speaker 2: And then this has happened to me.

528
00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:45,639
Speaker 1: I was out on the second date with someone that

529
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,560
Speaker 1: I really liked and there was another very good looking

530
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:51,720
Speaker 1: guy there and I happened to run into fun oddly enough,

531
00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:56,560
Speaker 1: a matchmaker, and she reached out to me later and

532
00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:59,160
Speaker 1: said to me that that other guy, the guy number

533
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:01,320
Speaker 1: one was it was it was the second date the

534
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:03,760
Speaker 1: other guy. She was like, that guy is a real

535
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:07,399
Speaker 1: catch and he's interested in you, and I'd like to

536
00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:09,439
Speaker 1: connect you. Now. I wasn't sure if guy number one

537
00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:10,840
Speaker 1: was a player, if I was gonna be into him.

538
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:13,600
Speaker 1: I was still wide open, so I was like, great,

539
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:17,080
Speaker 1: Guy number two was in fact a catch. She says

540
00:22:17,119 --> 00:22:19,240
Speaker 1: to me, he wants your number and he wants to

541
00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:19,959
Speaker 1: get together with you.

542
00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:21,879
Speaker 2: I look him up. He seems he's go.

543
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:26,280
Speaker 1: Looking, he's single, all the things. So now it took

544
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:28,560
Speaker 1: like for days, might have been a week. I was like,

545
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:30,280
Speaker 1: he never reached out. She was like, oh, I think

546
00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:33,560
Speaker 1: he's with his family. This is happening, blah blah blah. Okay, bye,

547
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:35,639
Speaker 1: and he had my number because she had connected the

548
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:40,639
Speaker 1: two of us. Finally he texted me. And now, mind you,

549
00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:42,760
Speaker 1: things had accelerated with the guy that I was on

550
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:44,320
Speaker 1: a second date with. Maybe by this time we had

551
00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:45,880
Speaker 1: been to like five days, and I was like, really

552
00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:47,200
Speaker 1: into him. You could be into somebody.

553
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:51,160
Speaker 2: That might be him calling right now literally talking about

554
00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:52,120
Speaker 2: you right now. Call you back.

555
00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:54,360
Speaker 1: I'm on the podcast, but not you, but the guy

556
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:58,439
Speaker 1: I'll call you back. So so I was on like

557
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:04,159
Speaker 1: fifth day with him, and this other guy texted me

558
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:08,840
Speaker 1: and said, hey, I think you're amazing and I'm really sorry.

559
00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:11,159
Speaker 1: He owes me nothing. The only thing that happens we

560
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:13,359
Speaker 1: were in a group text. He's interested, he's supposed to

561
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:15,600
Speaker 1: call me. I don't know him from Adam. He says,

562
00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:20,200
Speaker 1: I'm really sorry I didn't reach out sooner. I reconnected

563
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:22,520
Speaker 1: with my ex and I really don't know what's going

564
00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:25,280
Speaker 1: to happen, but I would like to give this a shot.

565
00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:27,120
Speaker 2: And I've said good for you.

566
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:30,480
Speaker 1: I hope it works out, and I said, so interesting

567
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:33,440
Speaker 1: when I met you that night. But when I saw

568
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:35,359
Speaker 1: you that night, I was actually on the second day

569
00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:37,920
Speaker 1: it was someone and now I think it's heating up

570
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:40,560
Speaker 1: a little bit. And so that was like a very

571
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:42,440
Speaker 1: like we were both cheering. We didn't even know each other,

572
00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:44,320
Speaker 1: but we were cheering for each other and it was

573
00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:45,560
Speaker 1: like classy.

574
00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:49,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, so nice. That's how more people need to do that.

575
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:52,560
Speaker 3: It's because that way, if whatever reason doesn't work out

576
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:55,320
Speaker 3: for him or you, you can reach out and the

577
00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:58,159
Speaker 3: call will be so highly regarded because you ended it

578
00:23:58,160 --> 00:23:58,600
Speaker 3: with a bow.

579
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:01,080
Speaker 2: There's just a nice experience. How you do anything. It

580
00:24:01,119 --> 00:24:03,119
Speaker 2: is how you do everything. So be but that should

581
00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:03,960
Speaker 2: be the norm.

582
00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:07,320
Speaker 1: Be classy and every aspect of it, whether it works,

583
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:10,160
Speaker 1: doesn't work, like her, don't like her, attracted, aren't attracted.

584
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:12,840
Speaker 1: Even if you're supposed to text her, you follow through.

585
00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:14,840
Speaker 1: Even if you're not going, you fall through. Even if

586
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:16,359
Speaker 1: you go, you don't like it, you fall through. If

587
00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:18,359
Speaker 1: you go, you like it, you fall through. Do the

588
00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:20,360
Speaker 1: right thing the whole way through. You get it.

589
00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:24,000
Speaker 2: It's it's smart. That's a great come back to and

590
00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:26,240
Speaker 2: no one knows that. No one knows that. Okay.

591
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:30,320
Speaker 3: Other thing pro tips on dates be everyone has their

592
00:24:30,359 --> 00:24:33,320
Speaker 3: antenta up of how the way staff has treated right.

593
00:24:33,359 --> 00:24:35,719
Speaker 3: It's just like the little things like don't treat anyone

594
00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:40,400
Speaker 3: like the help. It's the total turn off on the date.

595
00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:43,639
Speaker 3: You don't want to grill someone about their ex especially

596
00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:45,600
Speaker 3: in a first date, like I know, sometimes it could

597
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:47,800
Speaker 3: be like more of a biography date where you're catching

598
00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:50,320
Speaker 3: up on all aspects of life, but it's so much

599
00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:53,120
Speaker 3: more attractive, like in time you'll hear about people's pasts

600
00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:56,199
Speaker 3: and things like that, but just stay focused on the present,

601
00:24:56,359 --> 00:24:58,200
Speaker 3: Like there's so many things to talk about besides having

602
00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:01,159
Speaker 3: to just talk about who else they date or tales

603
00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:01,679
Speaker 3: from X.

604
00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:03,240
Speaker 2: It goes negative.

605
00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:05,760
Speaker 3: The biggest thing is talk about like be happy, Like

606
00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:08,560
Speaker 3: don't complain about your kids, don't complain about.

607
00:25:08,359 --> 00:25:09,439
Speaker 2: You now be happy.

608
00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:13,400
Speaker 1: Yes, but I will say this, it is often unavoidable

609
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:17,719
Speaker 1: based on questions to not get into some version of

610
00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:19,760
Speaker 1: what you came from. But I would I'm going to

611
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:23,000
Speaker 1: color that in the lines and say, be vague, but

612
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:26,119
Speaker 1: in a way that moves this conversation forward in a

613
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:28,520
Speaker 1: positive way, Like I think that was just a situation

614
00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:30,840
Speaker 1: where I might have needed a little bit more freedom,

615
00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:33,520
Speaker 1: and I'm looking for someone who you know, kind of

616
00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:34,800
Speaker 1: is a little more alive.

617
00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:36,679
Speaker 2: So you're kind of talking about your experts.

618
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:38,960
Speaker 1: You're not like Joe used to take me out for

619
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:41,760
Speaker 1: dinner and we had anticitize.

620
00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:42,480
Speaker 2: It's not like that.

621
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:45,560
Speaker 1: It's a little more positive. You're paying it forward. I

622
00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:48,520
Speaker 1: think you have to reference the past to be in reality.

623
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:51,680
Speaker 3: I try if someone's asked, it's more of an elevator

624
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:55,120
Speaker 3: speech where you land the ending, where you're not going

625
00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:57,040
Speaker 3: on and on and talking about where's the focus of

626
00:25:57,080 --> 00:26:00,639
Speaker 3: the conversation. If anything, it's two to three sentences and ends,

627
00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:04,000
Speaker 3: like I wish him all the best, and we're both

628
00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:06,560
Speaker 3: and I'm looking forward to being my person.

629
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:10,040
Speaker 1: It's not talking to it, but that's different. I'm saying

630
00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:13,000
Speaker 1: the way it informs the present, Like, you know, what

631
00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:15,560
Speaker 1: were you were together for four years? Oh?

632
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:16,000
Speaker 2: Interesting?

633
00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:19,040
Speaker 1: Why you didn't why you broke off your engagement? That's relevant.

634
00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:21,040
Speaker 1: A person is also looking for rest less, so you

635
00:26:21,119 --> 00:26:22,720
Speaker 1: might be like, he lived far.

636
00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:23,680
Speaker 2: It was really hard.

637
00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:25,200
Speaker 1: I think it was amazing. I wish him the best.

638
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:27,439
Speaker 1: To your point, I'm looking for something a little closer.

639
00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:30,520
Speaker 1: I'm looking for someone younger. I didn't want young kids. Whatever,

640
00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:33,200
Speaker 1: if it informs this situation, it can help this person

641
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:33,800
Speaker 1: learn about you.

642
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:35,240
Speaker 2: I think you can talk about the.

643
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:38,160
Speaker 1: Past, but you're not trash talking somebody never And you're

644
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:40,600
Speaker 1: also not romanticizing your ex.

645
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:43,480
Speaker 2: Correct, and you're not romanticizing. You're not trash shocking.

646
00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:45,760
Speaker 3: But you're also not making it the focus of the conversation,

647
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:49,040
Speaker 3: not therapy. Yeah, it's now you wanted to be like,

648
00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:51,080
Speaker 3: I mean to explain it from a contact standpoint, but

649
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:53,520
Speaker 3: then you're moving on and talking about other things.

650
00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:55,359
Speaker 1: No, and you don't use it as a license to

651
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 1: keep going back to it because you did it once.

652
00:26:58,000 --> 00:26:58,719
Speaker 2: Yes, you know what I mean.

653
00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:00,200
Speaker 1: You said it once you got away with it. You're

654
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:03,000
Speaker 1: not now talking about Rob for two hours, right for sure?

655
00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:05,520
Speaker 2: Okay, So now let's say you go on a date.

656
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:07,520
Speaker 3: You have a great date, you have good follow up,

657
00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:10,320
Speaker 3: she got home safe, you're setting your texting.

658
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:12,920
Speaker 2: I'd love to see you again. What works for you? Well,

659
00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:14,280
Speaker 2: hold on before we even do that.

660
00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:16,800
Speaker 1: I don't think enough people say thank you on the

661
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:18,880
Speaker 1: date either I know where you're going, and I don't

662
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:21,080
Speaker 1: think the bill comes thank you so much it was

663
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:24,280
Speaker 1: so amazing, like, or you look nice like.

664
00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:28,680
Speaker 2: I think compliments are not given enough in general. Genuine

665
00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:30,960
Speaker 2: compliments should be given one hundred percent.

666
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:34,359
Speaker 1: Even about a car, you're clothes like you could go

667
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:36,840
Speaker 1: into a mansion. Don't act like you're not jaded just

668
00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:38,479
Speaker 1: because you know the person's rich or hasn't. I that's

669
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:42,200
Speaker 1: a nice wild like, be complimentary in every way. Everybody's insecure,

670
00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:42,960
Speaker 1: That's what I think.

671
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:45,920
Speaker 3: And it could be physical compliments, it could be compliment

672
00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:48,720
Speaker 3: with what someone said, but it is really nice to

673
00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:51,880
Speaker 3: be complimented. It also does let people's guard down, like, Okay,

674
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:55,160
Speaker 3: that person likes what they're seeing, so it is.

675
00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:59,000
Speaker 2: A reinforcement reinforcement amazing.

676
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:02,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's good. But the other thing is after a date,

677
00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:05,960
Speaker 3: I would say the next day. And this is more

678
00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:08,359
Speaker 3: for women, but it is nice for a woman to

679
00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:10,719
Speaker 3: send a text saying, thank you so much. I had

680
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:13,160
Speaker 3: a really nice time at dinner to thank you, because

681
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:15,679
Speaker 3: men don't hear that enough and that gives buying signals

682
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:17,680
Speaker 3: for them to make the next move.

683
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,280
Speaker 1: Yes, but I'm gonna revise that. I'm gonna say that

684
00:28:20,359 --> 00:28:21,080
Speaker 1: night now the next day.

685
00:28:21,119 --> 00:28:22,359
Speaker 2: You like it? You like it that night, you know

686
00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:24,360
Speaker 2: because the next day is a new day.

687
00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:26,200
Speaker 1: And the girl feels like she's being a little desperate

688
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:28,719
Speaker 1: and if a guy is that gameplay or insecur at all,

689
00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:30,000
Speaker 1: he might think she's doing that.

690
00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:32,840
Speaker 2: And I think that night it doesn't count. It's like,

691
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:33,919
Speaker 2: so let's revise it.

692
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:36,399
Speaker 3: That that night when they're when the guy says, do

693
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:39,080
Speaker 3: me favor, tell me you get home safe, she sends

694
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:42,200
Speaker 3: a text saying I got home safe and thanks for dinner.

695
00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:44,520
Speaker 1: But maybe he didn't say that because he might not.

696
00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:47,600
Speaker 1: You Still it still counts. It's that night, thanks so much,

697
00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:48,600
Speaker 1: that was really fun.

698
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:49,960
Speaker 2: Have this say to do that?

699
00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:53,520
Speaker 3: Yes, it's it goes a class act and then the

700
00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:55,520
Speaker 3: biggest thing is though the guy has to go back

701
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:59,240
Speaker 3: to having a plan, because you can't wait weeks and

702
00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:02,400
Speaker 3: have a lull. A guy might really like someone but

703
00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:04,880
Speaker 3: then think, oh, I'm busy, I'm gonna wait two weeks.

704
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:07,680
Speaker 2: I've got this. But a woman is not going to

705
00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:10,400
Speaker 2: put up with a guy that's not keeping momentum, making

706
00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:13,560
Speaker 2: an effort and making sure that they're setting time to

707
00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:16,160
Speaker 2: see someone again. It signals they're either.

708
00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:19,200
Speaker 3: Dating too many people, or they're not really interested, or

709
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:20,800
Speaker 3: there's they're dating someone else.

710
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:23,640
Speaker 1: Okay, so let's make it this because I think, yes,

711
00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:26,720
Speaker 1: a new plan, but I think that let's call it

712
00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:28,880
Speaker 1: within the next two to three days.

713
00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:31,000
Speaker 2: The man should express interest for the next plan.

714
00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:32,680
Speaker 1: He may not know his exact calendar, he may have

715
00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:34,920
Speaker 1: a custody schedule, but he should be like, I would

716
00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:37,160
Speaker 1: really like to get together again. Let me get back

717
00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:39,280
Speaker 1: to you with my cat. There should be some the

718
00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:41,760
Speaker 1: ball has moved forward in some way with intention.

719
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:45,920
Speaker 2: Correct, he is expressing his intention to want to see someone.

720
00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:48,600
Speaker 3: But if he says I'll go back to a couple

721
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:50,640
Speaker 3: of days, he needs to get back in a couple days.

722
00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:54,160
Speaker 3: He is to be like the person that he says

723
00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:55,880
Speaker 3: he's going he has to do what he says he's

724
00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:58,400
Speaker 3: going to do, because he's also not attractive if he

725
00:29:58,440 --> 00:29:59,880
Speaker 3: says he's going to do something and then he does,

726
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:01,600
Speaker 3: and like I'll get back to you on Wednesday and

727
00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:04,360
Speaker 3: now it's Friday. That's that's not cool.

728
00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:07,680
Speaker 1: No, he also can't say on the let's say we

729
00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:10,520
Speaker 1: went out on Saturday and it's the Monday, let's get together.

730
00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:14,160
Speaker 1: You're getting together Saturday, and he's completely silent until Saturday

731
00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:17,800
Speaker 1: at four o'clock afternoon. That is you get insecure. He

732
00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:21,240
Speaker 1: forgot there needs to be a thread between.

733
00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:24,680
Speaker 3: Right, the day before is amazing to say, looking forth

734
00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:28,000
Speaker 3: seeing tomorrow night and remember to tell the person where

735
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:29,280
Speaker 3: they're going so they know how.

736
00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:32,200
Speaker 1: To dress facts, because what am I wearing? My wearing

737
00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:34,680
Speaker 1: jeans and it's like a casual place is a dressy?

738
00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:37,400
Speaker 1: Are we eating outside or walking a lot where I

739
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:39,960
Speaker 1: have to be careful what shoes I'm wearing. I'm always

740
00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:42,080
Speaker 1: starting you might have a plan that day. Also, just

741
00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:44,240
Speaker 1: women get anxiety. They just want to know something to

742
00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:46,680
Speaker 1: like make a plan even we need I know, calms

743
00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:47,160
Speaker 1: us down.

744
00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:50,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, we need to know because we're planning our outfit.

745
00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:51,959
Speaker 3: Like days and the second you ask us out, we're

746
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:53,800
Speaker 3: planning our outfit, like what are we gonna wear.

747
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:55,880
Speaker 2: And what you're doing that day and time to get home.

748
00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:58,880
Speaker 3: It's not loose correct, So that is like a big

749
00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:01,320
Speaker 3: thing that guys need to do is have a little

750
00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:04,400
Speaker 3: bit more. But I do think that it's I mean,

751
00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:07,280
Speaker 3: if I was a guy, I would have the best

752
00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:11,400
Speaker 3: restaurants already, like on lockdown, like a month in advance,

753
00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:13,880
Speaker 3: so you have great ideas and options so that when

754
00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:16,880
Speaker 3: you are making a date, you have great tables even reserved,

755
00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:19,920
Speaker 3: or a great or experiences, whether it's a concert or

756
00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:21,000
Speaker 3: do cool fun things.

757
00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:22,720
Speaker 2: It just requires planning.

758
00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:26,600
Speaker 3: If you think about you know, Christmas time, most people

759
00:31:26,680 --> 00:31:28,400
Speaker 3: know to get the best resort and to get the

760
00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:31,760
Speaker 3: best of everything, you need to plan a year in

761
00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:35,680
Speaker 3: advance to know what you're doing next Christmas time, right,

762
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:37,640
Speaker 3: So it's the same thing. If you want to have

763
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:41,320
Speaker 3: the best experiences or if you care about ambiance, you

764
00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:43,560
Speaker 3: care about making sure that you have something.

765
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:46,840
Speaker 2: The more you could plan in advance is so attractive.

766
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:48,640
Speaker 3: And if you know that if you don't have a date,

767
00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:51,480
Speaker 3: you cancel it within the timeframe to cancel the reservation.

768
00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:55,560
Speaker 3: But there's nothing wrong with being that strategic and proactive

769
00:31:55,600 --> 00:31:57,640
Speaker 3: and putting and also putting to the universe, like I'm

770
00:31:57,640 --> 00:31:59,680
Speaker 3: going to go on some really great dates and making

771
00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:00,880
Speaker 3: some great reservations.

772
00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:05,040
Speaker 1: I have a big one because I have gotten feedback

773
00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:08,320
Speaker 1: from so many men on this. Now I'm like thought

774
00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:10,920
Speaker 1: of as funny, so we're gonna put that to the side.

775
00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:17,200
Speaker 1: But as what happens with me is men are like

776
00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:22,120
Speaker 1: dying to make me laugh, Like they find when I'm laughing,

777
00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:25,760
Speaker 1: like it really is a bigger ego boost. And saying

778
00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:28,760
Speaker 1: they're handsome, they have a big peanut, Like it doesn't matter.

779
00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:31,480
Speaker 2: What you're rich, you're perfect, you're smart. Smart is a

780
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:31,880
Speaker 2: big one.

781
00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:34,480
Speaker 1: Making someone feel like a man and validated and all

782
00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:38,040
Speaker 1: that stuff. But like I would say this is for women,

783
00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:43,240
Speaker 1: but just an insight into men, And like the humor

784
00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:45,680
Speaker 1: has to be found in the date by both parties,

785
00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:48,080
Speaker 1: so give us to men too, Like the humor in

786
00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:51,200
Speaker 1: the date is critical. It could literally make the difference.

787
00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:54,760
Speaker 1: Everybody wants to laugh, everybody wants to think something is funny,

788
00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:57,440
Speaker 1: and so finding the humor in the date to me

789
00:32:57,800 --> 00:33:03,040
Speaker 1: for me is absolutely critical. So for example, I remember

790
00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:07,160
Speaker 1: asking a guy I asked a guy what his worst

791
00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:10,120
Speaker 1: dating story has been like, and I told my worst

792
00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:12,240
Speaker 1: like Hall of Fame bad. And then I said to

793
00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:15,880
Speaker 1: him rate it, rate mine, and he said forrest and

794
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:19,760
Speaker 1: holy shit, for what the hell is yours? And he

795
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:22,000
Speaker 1: told me the crazy story and we were crying laughing.

796
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:27,480
Speaker 1: But he felt like very validated and very you know,

797
00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:29,360
Speaker 1: it felt like a big man on campus because he

798
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:31,240
Speaker 1: had like a big, good, funny story.

799
00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:32,600
Speaker 2: So bring in the nuts.

800
00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:34,920
Speaker 1: Guys are guys, and guys are animals, so you can't

801
00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:37,320
Speaker 1: be too serious with them. And this is more for women,

802
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:40,239
Speaker 1: but it's for both because I want like men to

803
00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:42,360
Speaker 1: know too the like the playfulness is on both sides.

804
00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:43,640
Speaker 2: The humor is on both sides.

805
00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:45,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was just about to say, if people don't

806
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:48,640
Speaker 3: feel like they're funny, then go lean in on playful,

807
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:50,920
Speaker 3: because I think the biggest thing is don't be so

808
00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:53,000
Speaker 3: stereily we're just talking about work, or we're just talking

809
00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:57,040
Speaker 3: about like the mundane things. Find the situational humor, have

810
00:33:57,120 --> 00:33:58,760
Speaker 3: a good exchange of his stories.

811
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:00,280
Speaker 2: Everybody can be funny.

812
00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:04,960
Speaker 1: They don't have to be traditionally funny the way that

813
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:09,160
Speaker 1: they dryly respond to someone funny. I'll be with Guys

814
00:34:09,160 --> 00:34:11,879
Speaker 1: that are never would never be called funny, but they're

815
00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:15,080
Speaker 1: funny around me because of like their reaction of something

816
00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:16,040
Speaker 1: I would do, Like.

817
00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:18,279
Speaker 2: So it's a quick wit. It's like their response, it's

818
00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:19,400
Speaker 2: like how they're It.

819
00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:21,440
Speaker 1: Could be dry, it could be nothing, but it's funny

820
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:23,319
Speaker 1: because because of the way, like there can't be two

821
00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:24,440
Speaker 1: clowns in the circus.

822
00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:26,040
Speaker 2: Like it could also just be good banter.

823
00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:28,480
Speaker 3: It's just the biggest point is just make sure you're

824
00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:31,840
Speaker 3: being playful with each other where you're like engaging with

825
00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:32,239
Speaker 3: each other.

826
00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:48,919
Speaker 1: I'd like to talk about the pen pal. I don't

827
00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:52,200
Speaker 1: want to be a pen pal, like not for five minutes.

828
00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:52,960
Speaker 2: I really don't.

829
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:54,640
Speaker 1: It's called I had a great time. If you meet

830
00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:57,520
Speaker 1: that's so funny. I just ate a cheeseburger. Send me

831
00:34:57,560 --> 00:34:58,680
Speaker 1: a picture of a cheeseburger.

832
00:34:58,960 --> 00:34:59,839
Speaker 2: Lol. My dog.

833
00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:01,680
Speaker 1: First of all, I don't give a shit about your

834
00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:03,239
Speaker 1: dog all day long. There's a guy who I knew

835
00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:05,440
Speaker 1: from twenty years ago who still is in love with me.

836
00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:07,680
Speaker 1: I don't even care about his dog now. I don't

837
00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:09,920
Speaker 1: want to see pictures of your dog. I'm not interested.

838
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:13,640
Speaker 1: I am so emphatic. This could be my biggest one

839
00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:17,319
Speaker 1: of all time and someone that you introduced me to. Remember, like,

840
00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:21,080
Speaker 1: I don't want a fucking pen pal. Let's move the board.

841
00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:23,359
Speaker 2: We're doing it. We're not something. Text me later.

842
00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:27,000
Speaker 1: Move the You should keep in touch and correspond, like,

843
00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:31,399
Speaker 1: I hope your day is going well. That's fine because

844
00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:32,880
Speaker 1: you already have a plan on the board. You know

845
00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:35,880
Speaker 1: you have a plan. Hope your day's going well, gorgeous

846
00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:37,719
Speaker 1: day out here. Once you have a plan, you can

847
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:40,600
Speaker 1: be a light pen pal and then yeah, look forward

848
00:35:40,719 --> 00:35:43,680
Speaker 1: seeing you Saturday. That's like the utter light pen pal.

849
00:35:43,719 --> 00:35:46,080
Speaker 1: But I'm not looking for a pen pald year. Well.

850
00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:49,000
Speaker 2: I think it's like, yeah, until your until your relationship.

851
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:50,640
Speaker 2: It's it's it's the point.

852
00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:52,799
Speaker 3: Of you want to make sure you're not over communicating

853
00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:55,200
Speaker 3: and becoming clingy and needy.

854
00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:57,040
Speaker 2: It's just not attractive.

855
00:35:57,080 --> 00:36:01,719
Speaker 1: I like, I'm referring to the casualness of we're now penthals.

856
00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:03,920
Speaker 1: We don't even have a on the board, right no

857
00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:06,120
Speaker 1: no oh yeah yeah, that's like a no no that

858
00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:06,960
Speaker 1: should not exist.

859
00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:09,279
Speaker 2: I think everybody does that.

860
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:13,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, look, I'm always like people don't mind readers.

861
00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:15,319
Speaker 3: They don't know, so maybe there's things you need to

862
00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:19,279
Speaker 3: shit say, like before like setting a date. I don't know,

863
00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:21,640
Speaker 3: you might need to say something if that happens, if

864
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:25,600
Speaker 3: someone's listening to the thing. Because some people do like

865
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:29,359
Speaker 3: it and they like the bonding and getting to know someone,

866
00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:31,040
Speaker 3: so I think it's more of a personal thing. But

867
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:34,480
Speaker 3: I think that it's when you're writing novels and you're texting.

868
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:36,440
Speaker 3: I think the biggest thing is like text should be

869
00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:40,560
Speaker 3: about small things, not about bonding and communicating. It's more

870
00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:44,440
Speaker 3: about logistics or confirming or setting a cute, flirty, warm text.

871
00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:47,359
Speaker 3: It shouldn't be novels or mundane things like you said

872
00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:48,600
Speaker 3: about I just ate cheeseburger.

873
00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:50,560
Speaker 2: Here's a picture of my cheeseburger. Look my dad.

874
00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:52,480
Speaker 3: My dog's doing the cues thing. Un till you're in

875
00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:54,600
Speaker 3: a relationship that it makes sense. But I agree it

876
00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:58,720
Speaker 3: should just be curbed. I also think before you know someone,

877
00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:02,160
Speaker 3: you should not be saying pictures like shirtless pictures or

878
00:37:02,239 --> 00:37:05,160
Speaker 3: asking people send me a pic of you. I think

879
00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:08,360
Speaker 3: it's just really distasteful. If you're on an app, you

880
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:11,120
Speaker 3: already saw each other's photos. There's no reason to send more,

881
00:37:11,719 --> 00:37:13,640
Speaker 3: and it could be just a total turn off.

882
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:15,839
Speaker 2: It's like tacky. I think it's just.

883
00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:18,800
Speaker 1: I think text needs to be used as a tool,

884
00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:23,120
Speaker 1: just something I can rely on, that weakness that you're

885
00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:25,759
Speaker 1: relying on your back and forth now you're like in

886
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:29,440
Speaker 1: a dialogue, nor like it shouldn't be like a crutch,

887
00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:31,840
Speaker 1: like just a bridge to get us to when I

888
00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:33,040
Speaker 1: feel like I'm gonna ask.

889
00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:35,520
Speaker 2: You out again. I don't like that. It really bothers me.

890
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:39,520
Speaker 1: And I've had a situation where a relationship that ended

891
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:42,400
Speaker 1: up being great could have not worked because of it

892
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:45,799
Speaker 1: because I was like, put some fun, put that, And

893
00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:47,720
Speaker 1: it could be something going on with the person where

894
00:37:48,719 --> 00:37:50,399
Speaker 1: they're going to do a bad divorce, they're with their kids,

895
00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:52,640
Speaker 1: and they're not sharing with you why it's happening.

896
00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:54,839
Speaker 2: But you're there, You're like, this guy doesn't even what

897
00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:55,439
Speaker 2: does he think?

898
00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:58,239
Speaker 1: And it's a very bad communication tool and you have

899
00:37:58,280 --> 00:38:00,920
Speaker 1: to find a confident way to break through it to

900
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:05,160
Speaker 1: be like I really like you. This communication style isn't

901
00:38:06,080 --> 00:38:08,480
Speaker 1: isn't working from you. You have to like pat it and

902
00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:11,320
Speaker 1: you have to dip it in frosting, and you can't

903
00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:14,080
Speaker 1: you know, you can't say something rude like I don't

904
00:38:14,080 --> 00:38:15,000
Speaker 1: want to be your pem popcas.

905
00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:17,560
Speaker 2: It could turn someone up. It's very hard to land.

906
00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:20,640
Speaker 1: And because people say stop texting and back and then

907
00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:22,319
Speaker 1: they'll call you, it doesn't work like that. If you

908
00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:24,319
Speaker 1: don't text. It's the new communication. So if you don't

909
00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:26,160
Speaker 1: text them back, they're going to think you don't like them.

910
00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:29,360
Speaker 1: You have to find a way to verbalize to them.

911
00:38:29,680 --> 00:38:31,600
Speaker 1: And we're back to women again, because that's who we are.

912
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:34,680
Speaker 1: You have to find a way to verbalize to them

913
00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:39,120
Speaker 1: that it's not your favorite communication style at this stage.

914
00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:41,319
Speaker 1: Better to maybe get on the phone or make a plan,

915
00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:42,719
Speaker 1: like you have to get the words up.

916
00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:45,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think there's a way to say where you

917
00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:48,839
Speaker 3: could again like kiss punch, but it's more like you

918
00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:51,920
Speaker 3: have to be You do have to maybe sugarcoat it,

919
00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:55,760
Speaker 3: but it is important. If it's a pet peeve of somebody's,

920
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:58,319
Speaker 3: it's important to say, hey, I like you, but this

921
00:38:58,360 --> 00:39:01,360
Speaker 3: communication I'm not a texture. So looking forward to setting

922
00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:04,160
Speaker 3: a date or like if someone's texting it, you just

923
00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:06,000
Speaker 3: are like I want to now start my night, or

924
00:39:06,040 --> 00:39:09,360
Speaker 3: like I can't do this. I always just say to

925
00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:11,760
Speaker 3: putting my phone down, have a great night or something

926
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:14,360
Speaker 3: like that, or about about to drive talk you know,

927
00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:17,319
Speaker 3: have a great night. Something that signals okay, we're done

928
00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:19,680
Speaker 3: with this chain because people will just keep going on

929
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:19,920
Speaker 3: and not.

930
00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:23,879
Speaker 1: I also, it doesn't matter and you can get through it.

931
00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:27,440
Speaker 1: But if it goes on too long, but the person

932
00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:32,480
Speaker 1: has a very long delay in texting you back, it's

933
00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:36,960
Speaker 1: a problem. You'll see how they text their kids. You'll

934
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:39,360
Speaker 1: see that they are texters. And I'll tell you something,

935
00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:44,160
Speaker 1: whether it's Steve Cohen or Mark Cuban or the most

936
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:49,279
Speaker 1: successful people in the world, you know, text me back immediately.

937
00:39:49,719 --> 00:39:54,680
Speaker 1: People that are successful and smart and secure text back immediately.

938
00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:57,239
Speaker 1: It's the way of twenty twenty four. It's extremely rare.

939
00:39:57,280 --> 00:40:00,640
Speaker 1: You're an adoctor, You're you're taking a NAT like it's

940
00:40:00,719 --> 00:40:03,799
Speaker 1: late night. Yes, obviously people don't have a phone attached them,

941
00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:07,480
Speaker 1: but people do text back. And I've only found this

942
00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:10,360
Speaker 1: because I found that the people that don't then later

943
00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:12,880
Speaker 1: somehow you jolt it, you get in a relationship, but

944
00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:15,279
Speaker 1: then they're texting you every second like it's kind of

945
00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:19,239
Speaker 1: a scam. You're either playing a game or something's going on.

946
00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:21,319
Speaker 1: It's just it's a it's a flag. It may not

947
00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:23,080
Speaker 1: be pinking, may it be read. It is a flag.

948
00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:26,239
Speaker 1: So men, set your intention, set your pace from the

949
00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:28,840
Speaker 1: beginning whatever it's going to be, but you can't be

950
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:31,200
Speaker 1: haphazard about it because it becomes a signal and a

951
00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:34,360
Speaker 1: sign Yeah, and I agree, then it's game plan, Like

952
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:35,920
Speaker 1: wait a minute, you were sting to me before and

953
00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:39,400
Speaker 1: you always texted me, and now there's all these lulls

954
00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:41,840
Speaker 1: and it does make it like it does you know,

955
00:40:42,160 --> 00:40:44,920
Speaker 1: our intends are up and we're smarter than that, so

956
00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:47,040
Speaker 1: it is important to not play games.

957
00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:50,080
Speaker 2: And same with love bombing. I think the same thing implies.

958
00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:55,880
Speaker 1: What about establishing, defining and communicating what your communication style is,

959
00:40:56,520 --> 00:40:59,240
Speaker 1: so at least someone understands you could be a doctor

960
00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:01,600
Speaker 1: and you like, I don't really text a lot during

961
00:41:01,640 --> 00:41:04,880
Speaker 1: the day. There are exceptions like or I you know

962
00:41:05,040 --> 00:41:07,000
Speaker 1: something like that, or I really am not good on

963
00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:08,719
Speaker 1: text some people.

964
00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:09,560
Speaker 2: During the day. I'm not.

965
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:12,319
Speaker 3: I think it's the same thing, Like it's just communicating

966
00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:14,640
Speaker 3: and just being upfront by saying one thing that's important

967
00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:16,960
Speaker 3: for you to know about me. I don't text during

968
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:19,160
Speaker 3: the day, yeah, Or I'm not a big textor I

969
00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:22,680
Speaker 3: don't love that kind of communication. And there's a playful

970
00:41:22,719 --> 00:41:24,360
Speaker 3: way you could say that to someone, whether on a

971
00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:28,120
Speaker 3: date or in a text to say, so love that

972
00:41:28,120 --> 00:41:30,040
Speaker 3: you're reaching out, but I'm so much better. I'm so

973
00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:32,120
Speaker 3: much more of a phone girl, or I just I

974
00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:34,520
Speaker 3: prefer just setting a plan and getting to know you better.

975
00:41:35,040 --> 00:41:37,160
Speaker 2: Or when when I'm with my kids, I'm not I

976
00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:37,680
Speaker 2: don't text.

977
00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:40,400
Speaker 1: So something that just gives you something, Yeah, because we

978
00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:41,160
Speaker 1: listen to everything.

979
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:43,400
Speaker 2: So I think that's good. You said love bombing.

980
00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:48,200
Speaker 3: I just think it's still a thing, and I don't

981
00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:52,440
Speaker 3: know if people are just over using that label, but

982
00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:55,320
Speaker 3: I think what happens is someone might genuinely be excited

983
00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:58,719
Speaker 3: about someone or they like that phase, like the adrenaline

984
00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:01,239
Speaker 3: rush of love bombing, and then when it settles into

985
00:42:01,239 --> 00:42:05,319
Speaker 3: the real thing, then they exit out. So I just

986
00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:07,440
Speaker 3: think that people have to be really careful, like you said,

987
00:42:07,480 --> 00:42:10,200
Speaker 3: set the stage of your intention, because if you can't

988
00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:15,120
Speaker 3: keep up with that pace, we're gonna notice that there's

989
00:42:15,160 --> 00:42:18,320
Speaker 3: a shift in your communication style or in yours.

990
00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:19,600
Speaker 2: It's it's not gonna end.

991
00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:22,320
Speaker 1: Well, that's a good note, but even otherwise. There was

992
00:42:22,360 --> 00:42:24,040
Speaker 1: a guy this summer that I went out with and

993
00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:26,759
Speaker 1: he loved bogged me immediately, and it turned me off.

994
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:28,480
Speaker 1: Now I don't believe that he was right. I mean

995
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:29,560
Speaker 1: I know that he wasn't right for me, and I

996
00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:32,279
Speaker 1: wouldn't have ended up with him, but there was such

997
00:42:32,280 --> 00:42:34,560
Speaker 1: a vibe on it that it was like dick and

998
00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:37,919
Speaker 1: it put on me. Like he'd be like, oh, hey,

999
00:42:38,719 --> 00:42:41,480
Speaker 1: good morning or something, and I'd be like, I didn't

1000
00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:44,960
Speaker 1: really sleep well and he'd say, oh, well, usually when

1001
00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:47,920
Speaker 1: you meet, when Cupid's arrow hits, you would have a

1002
00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:51,680
Speaker 1: good night's sleep, like assigning to me that I'm supposed

1003
00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:53,319
Speaker 1: to feel a certain weight based on that we had

1004
00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:54,960
Speaker 1: gone out for a good date. And then I felt like,

1005
00:42:55,160 --> 00:42:57,920
Speaker 1: almost like emotionally attacked. It was like subtle, but it

1006
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:01,200
Speaker 1: was like yeah, and I'm like, yeah, no, I just

1007
00:43:01,320 --> 00:43:02,600
Speaker 1: you know, I just haven't had a good night to

1008
00:43:02,640 --> 00:43:04,839
Speaker 1: be like ooh, someone's not great in the morning. Like

1009
00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:07,640
Speaker 1: it was almost like assigning all this stuff to me,

1010
00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:09,440
Speaker 1: and it really turned me off. It was like I

1011
00:43:09,480 --> 00:43:12,880
Speaker 1: felt like someone was like suffocating me so fast. It

1012
00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:14,640
Speaker 1: was like a different version of love vom me. He

1013
00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:17,080
Speaker 1: wasn't like, let's one vacation, and he wasn't to me

1014
00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:19,319
Speaker 1: to keep saying that, but yeah, just like put his

1015
00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:21,560
Speaker 1: own shit on me, and I was like, get off,

1016
00:43:21,640 --> 00:43:23,800
Speaker 1: you're on my jock it's too much.

1017
00:43:24,400 --> 00:43:29,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, too much, too fast, over communicating. Oversharing is a turnoff.

1018
00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:32,319
Speaker 3: It just it sounds like he was just giving you shit,

1019
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:34,560
Speaker 3: like he was trying to be funny and it wasn't funny.

1020
00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:35,480
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1021
00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:36,879
Speaker 2: I had two guys like that too.

1022
00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:38,560
Speaker 1: That like you got on the phone one time, We

1023
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:41,840
Speaker 1: did FaceTime one time, then like, okay, I'm going.

1024
00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:43,279
Speaker 2: Into a meeting. We just talked for fifteen minutes and

1025
00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:44,719
Speaker 2: he'd be like, I'm going into a meeting. Okay, great.

1026
00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:46,759
Speaker 1: Then the minute he's out, he's texting me we haven't

1027
00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:47,880
Speaker 1: been on a date. You're like, I don't want to

1028
00:43:47,920 --> 00:43:48,560
Speaker 1: talk to you all day.

1029
00:43:48,560 --> 00:43:50,719
Speaker 2: I don't know yet. It's weird. That's why it's so

1030
00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:53,040
Speaker 2: much better when you know someone it's not the date.

1031
00:43:53,239 --> 00:43:53,800
Speaker 2: I agree.

1032
00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:57,239
Speaker 3: It's almost like sometimes people get insecure when you don't

1033
00:43:57,239 --> 00:43:59,160
Speaker 3: when someone doesn't want to do that. But I always

1034
00:43:59,239 --> 00:44:02,560
Speaker 3: try to educate that when you meet someone, it's more

1035
00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:06,719
Speaker 3: healthy when there's a real connection between two people and

1036
00:44:06,719 --> 00:44:10,560
Speaker 3: then it's a natural communication out of their relationship versus

1037
00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:12,240
Speaker 3: just falsely wanting to.

1038
00:44:12,360 --> 00:44:14,959
Speaker 2: Have a communication with somebody. It's like a placeholder.

1039
00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:18,120
Speaker 1: Well, I think it's like people are dying for a relationship,

1040
00:44:18,160 --> 00:44:21,280
Speaker 1: so they won't watch a relationship like you start talking

1041
00:44:21,280 --> 00:44:23,759
Speaker 1: to them. It's the opposite of like ghosting. It's like

1042
00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:26,640
Speaker 1: immediately we're now in a relationship. We had a good correspondence,

1043
00:44:26,719 --> 00:44:29,520
Speaker 1: or we texted right now in each other's lives fully

1044
00:44:29,520 --> 00:44:31,680
Speaker 1: in some way, or even after a date, like we

1045
00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:34,279
Speaker 1: had a good date, congratulations, Like we're not in a

1046
00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:36,600
Speaker 1: relationship the day after because you were attracted to me

1047
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:40,040
Speaker 1: because I look hot, because you're successful and smart, Like

1048
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:42,280
Speaker 1: does it You can't like rush a relationship.

1049
00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:43,279
Speaker 2: We're not in a relationship.

1050
00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:47,799
Speaker 3: No, And I think that that's great to show the confidence,

1051
00:44:48,320 --> 00:44:51,000
Speaker 3: not the arrogance, but the confidence of just let it

1052
00:44:51,040 --> 00:44:53,520
Speaker 3: be a slow burn. No one needs to be in

1053
00:44:53,520 --> 00:44:56,560
Speaker 3: a hurry, because when it's reeks of desperation, when you're

1054
00:44:56,600 --> 00:44:58,920
Speaker 3: pushing and pressing so so much.

1055
00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:03,680
Speaker 1: That's the word. This would be under the desperation category.

1056
00:45:03,880 --> 00:45:05,400
Speaker 2: And that's anick. Yeah.

1057
00:45:05,880 --> 00:45:10,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, the glove buttoning is desperate. Pushing your program is desperate.

1058
00:45:10,480 --> 00:45:13,880
Speaker 1: Too many plans too soon is desperate. Too much correspondence

1059
00:45:13,960 --> 00:45:18,080
Speaker 1: is desperate, too much. Check all of that. That's exactly yeah, right,

1060
00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:20,760
Speaker 1: So not to be trusted, No, well.

1061
00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:23,439
Speaker 3: That's the thing is it just I think that it's

1062
00:45:23,440 --> 00:45:26,560
Speaker 3: like shows the pattern of insecure and not a healthy

1063
00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:31,400
Speaker 3: dynamic of a relationship. And sometimes men just can't be alone,

1064
00:45:31,840 --> 00:45:33,719
Speaker 3: so they just want to do that because they need

1065
00:45:33,719 --> 00:45:34,640
Speaker 3: to be your relationship.

1066
00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:36,760
Speaker 2: But that's not healthy and that's not healthy for the person.

1067
00:45:36,880 --> 00:45:39,600
Speaker 3: So make sure that you just take the time to

1068
00:45:39,640 --> 00:45:43,880
Speaker 3: be thoughtful and again, like just operate with being authentic

1069
00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:45,839
Speaker 3: and not just in a hurry, because it is such

1070
00:45:45,840 --> 00:45:46,440
Speaker 3: a turnoff.

1071
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:50,000
Speaker 2: Okay, so let's talk about I call it manic.

1072
00:45:50,560 --> 00:45:54,879
Speaker 1: So I've been in two different scenarios where I think

1073
00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:58,000
Speaker 1: it's like real and it is real. I don't think

1074
00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:01,440
Speaker 1: it's really it's real equally as real as one another.

1075
00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:06,480
Speaker 1: And in one scenario, you fall for a person very

1076
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:09,239
Speaker 1: not that quickly, but in a reasonable couple of months,

1077
00:46:09,320 --> 00:46:13,680
Speaker 1: let's say. But it doesn't feel manic. It feels like

1078
00:46:13,719 --> 00:46:16,760
Speaker 1: you're going deeper into a yoga post or massaging or needing.

1079
00:46:17,120 --> 00:46:20,600
Speaker 1: And in other scenarios it's equally as like, oh my god,

1080
00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:21,239
Speaker 1: this is it.

1081
00:46:21,719 --> 00:46:24,879
Speaker 2: But it feels manic. You feel like you're a little exasperated, you.

1082
00:46:24,800 --> 00:46:27,719
Speaker 1: Feel like you can't breathe, you feel like a little anxiety,

1083
00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:30,880
Speaker 1: you're waking up that has felt for me like something

1084
00:46:30,960 --> 00:46:33,480
Speaker 1: that's not It doesn't mean it's not real, but it's

1085
00:46:33,520 --> 00:46:37,080
Speaker 1: not sustainable. So there are two ways to start like something,

1086
00:46:37,120 --> 00:46:40,520
Speaker 1: because you can't just say I know, I was out

1087
00:46:40,560 --> 00:46:41,919
Speaker 1: to deal with people who were hed it for twenty

1088
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:44,000
Speaker 1: years the other night that in three months two and

1089
00:46:44,040 --> 00:46:45,960
Speaker 1: a half months got engaged and they've been together for

1090
00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:47,319
Speaker 1: twenty years. So I'm not going to be here to

1091
00:46:47,360 --> 00:46:51,560
Speaker 1: criticize fast. But yeah, it just worked. They got on

1092
00:46:51,640 --> 00:46:52,040
Speaker 1: the road.

1093
00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:53,600
Speaker 2: It was healthy. It just happened.

1094
00:46:53,640 --> 00:46:57,440
Speaker 1: But they weren't like lunatics manic love bombing come to

1095
00:46:57,520 --> 00:46:58,240
Speaker 1: Vegas tomorrow.

1096
00:46:58,560 --> 00:47:01,200
Speaker 2: They just loved being with you each other. They folded

1097
00:47:01,239 --> 00:47:01,640
Speaker 2: it in.

1098
00:47:02,160 --> 00:47:04,160
Speaker 1: It was like layering a sauce where it just you

1099
00:47:04,239 --> 00:47:05,280
Speaker 1: keep folding in the ingredients.

1100
00:47:05,280 --> 00:47:09,040
Speaker 2: It keeps working something versus like Manic out of the

1101
00:47:09,120 --> 00:47:11,880
Speaker 2: Gate love bonding. We're doing everything. You can never be apart.

1102
00:47:12,080 --> 00:47:14,879
Speaker 1: We're imprinted on each other where one person I've done

1103
00:47:14,920 --> 00:47:17,280
Speaker 1: it and it's very different in the result.

1104
00:47:17,719 --> 00:47:19,520
Speaker 2: I think, again, that's a very personal thing.

1105
00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:22,360
Speaker 3: But I think to know yourself and know what works

1106
00:47:22,400 --> 00:47:24,840
Speaker 3: better for you and how your reaction to it, you

1107
00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:26,799
Speaker 3: have to listen to your gut with something like that,

1108
00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:30,160
Speaker 3: and it could be the right person but the wrong pace,

1109
00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:32,399
Speaker 3: and then it could just be a conversation like, hey,

1110
00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:35,640
Speaker 3: I like to go slow and steady. I truly believe

1111
00:47:35,760 --> 00:47:39,120
Speaker 3: dating through the seasons is so important because it's one

1112
00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:42,320
Speaker 3: thing to have great few dates and the chemistry is

1113
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:44,719
Speaker 3: off the charts and you like literally can't wait to

1114
00:47:44,800 --> 00:47:47,600
Speaker 3: Ripischli's close off and you're into it. It's another thing

1115
00:47:47,680 --> 00:47:51,000
Speaker 3: when someone shows that they're a good partner, when they

1116
00:47:51,360 --> 00:47:54,000
Speaker 3: think of you and they're thoughtful and they're doing things

1117
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:57,480
Speaker 3: that they're not selfish, and all that plays out through time,

1118
00:47:57,560 --> 00:48:00,760
Speaker 3: and you can't rush that, so be in a hurry

1119
00:48:00,800 --> 00:48:03,560
Speaker 3: to know is this my person? It's just like, let's

1120
00:48:03,600 --> 00:48:06,160
Speaker 3: just see what happens is we're having so much fun

1121
00:48:06,239 --> 00:48:09,319
Speaker 3: figuring it out, but you can't be Sometimes you want

1122
00:48:09,320 --> 00:48:11,799
Speaker 3: to know so bad is this my person? But you

1123
00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:15,640
Speaker 3: won't know until the situations of let's see what happens,

1124
00:48:15,640 --> 00:48:17,960
Speaker 3: how we treat each other, how we deal with conflicts,

1125
00:48:17,960 --> 00:48:19,880
Speaker 3: how we deal with navigating everything.

1126
00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:23,640
Speaker 1: I'm like a step sooner saying, if you feel like

1127
00:48:23,680 --> 00:48:27,319
Speaker 1: you're driving without breaks, you probably are, Like I've done

1128
00:48:27,360 --> 00:48:29,120
Speaker 1: that in a wrong relationship. Like a bad boy, where

1129
00:48:29,120 --> 00:48:31,520
Speaker 1: you feel like you're driving about breaks. I've also done

1130
00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:33,799
Speaker 1: it with someone that's great, but it's the way that

1131
00:48:33,880 --> 00:48:36,320
Speaker 1: you feel. And you've talked about how someone makes you feel,

1132
00:48:36,600 --> 00:48:38,759
Speaker 1: even if it's you feel good, but it feels a

1133
00:48:38,800 --> 00:48:39,960
Speaker 1: little exasperating.

1134
00:48:40,360 --> 00:48:41,840
Speaker 2: Something needs to comp down.

1135
00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:44,680
Speaker 3: Is what I'm saying, because I mean is silence Again,

1136
00:48:44,680 --> 00:48:48,480
Speaker 3: there's so much pressure from society, like your girlfriend's like

1137
00:48:48,880 --> 00:48:51,880
Speaker 3: your family. You have to silence all the noise of

1138
00:48:51,920 --> 00:48:54,960
Speaker 3: everyone like liking this person, like fan clubbing them, and

1139
00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:57,279
Speaker 3: being like, how do I feel and how is this

1140
00:48:57,320 --> 00:48:58,280
Speaker 3: person making me feel?

1141
00:48:58,320 --> 00:49:01,240
Speaker 2: And what do I need to communicate different or better?

1142
00:49:01,400 --> 00:49:02,960
Speaker 3: Or what do I need from this person that I'm

1143
00:49:02,960 --> 00:49:05,400
Speaker 3: not getting to be able and then communicate because no

1144
00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:08,520
Speaker 3: one's a mind reader. But it's like, but if you

1145
00:49:08,760 --> 00:49:11,359
Speaker 3: keep it going, then you shame on you because you're

1146
00:49:11,360 --> 00:49:15,040
Speaker 3: allowing it to happen. Well, I think it's regulating yourself,

1147
00:49:15,040 --> 00:49:17,280
Speaker 3: but also to your point, I.

1148
00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:19,560
Speaker 2: Think it could be regulating other person.

1149
00:49:20,200 --> 00:49:24,000
Speaker 1: Yes, and we get so excited and then we're reading

1150
00:49:24,080 --> 00:49:26,600
Speaker 1: them off a resume of things that we think are

1151
00:49:26,640 --> 00:49:28,840
Speaker 1: going to sound impressive and I don't even meet it

1152
00:49:28,840 --> 00:49:32,040
Speaker 1: in a superficial way, Oh my god, he's so great

1153
00:49:32,080 --> 00:49:34,879
Speaker 1: with his kids or his dog or you know, he's

1154
00:49:34,920 --> 00:49:36,640
Speaker 1: a doctor or whatever the thing is.

1155
00:49:36,680 --> 00:49:38,200
Speaker 2: And you're like reading the resume.

1156
00:49:38,320 --> 00:49:41,280
Speaker 1: And I've done that so many times versus like getting

1157
00:49:41,280 --> 00:49:43,719
Speaker 1: in touch with yourself to see what you feel. And

1158
00:49:43,760 --> 00:49:47,040
Speaker 1: it's very easy to do because things look shiney and

1159
00:49:47,080 --> 00:49:50,840
Speaker 1: they're exciting. But like every new car has that smell

1160
00:49:50,920 --> 00:49:54,359
Speaker 1: and then it fades, So I think that's really critical. Ye,

1161
00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:56,840
Speaker 1: And so men men need to do that too, And

1162
00:49:56,880 --> 00:50:00,960
Speaker 1: that's kind of connected to love bombing and regulation and

1163
00:50:00,960 --> 00:50:02,880
Speaker 1: coming in and getting all excited and you're right. I

1164
00:50:02,920 --> 00:50:06,160
Speaker 1: do notice with men they come in really hot. Sometimes

1165
00:50:06,200 --> 00:50:08,920
Speaker 1: we got the quiplication and this, and they get excited

1166
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:11,720
Speaker 1: and you're right, then the new car smell is gone.

1167
00:50:11,960 --> 00:50:12,160
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1168
00:50:12,160 --> 00:50:15,319
Speaker 3: The ones they land you, their communication style changes there

1169
00:50:15,320 --> 00:50:17,239
Speaker 3: all of a sudden, they want to they have other

1170
00:50:17,320 --> 00:50:19,680
Speaker 3: plans with their guy friends or their kids, other things.

1171
00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:22,960
Speaker 3: So it's just more about again taking the time to

1172
00:50:23,239 --> 00:50:26,239
Speaker 3: know what you know you're worth, enjoy getting to know

1173
00:50:26,280 --> 00:50:28,239
Speaker 3: that person, and if it's not right for you, then

1174
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:31,239
Speaker 3: don't stay too long just because it looks good to

1175
00:50:31,280 --> 00:50:36,080
Speaker 3: everybody else, because if you're miserable behind closed doors. It's

1176
00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:56,680
Speaker 3: a long, hard life