1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:01,840 Speaker 1: Even if you're like, well, I'm lost, I don't really 2 00:00:01,840 --> 00:00:04,080 Speaker 1: have a goal, I don't have a purpose. That's fine, 3 00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:05,880 Speaker 1: that's you know, it takes a long time to find 4 00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:07,600 Speaker 1: those things. But I think you focus on the things 5 00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:11,119 Speaker 1: you can control and you actually do them. I'm personally 6 00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:14,280 Speaker 1: delusional optimist. I'm convinced they'll lead you to that thing. 7 00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:15,040 Speaker 1: Are those things? 8 00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:33,200 Speaker 2: Hey, everybody, EMILYA Badi here. You are listening to Hurdle, 9 00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:36,600 Speaker 2: a wellness focused podcast. Reconnect with everyone from your favorite 10 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:40,720 Speaker 2: athletes to top experts and industry CEOs about their highest hies, 11 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:44,800 Speaker 2: toughest moments, and everything in between. We all go through 12 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:47,600 Speaker 2: hurdles in life, and my goal through these discussions is 13 00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:50,680 Speaker 2: to empower you to better navigate yours and move with 14 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:53,680 Speaker 2: intention so that you can stride towards your own big 15 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,960 Speaker 2: potential and of course, have. 16 00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:57,920 Speaker 3: Some fun along the way. 17 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:03,320 Speaker 2: We are back for our our fourth episode, Time flies 18 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:06,679 Speaker 2: when you're having fun in this week's Turning the Page series. 19 00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:10,240 Speaker 2: The annual Turning the Page series is when I sit 20 00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:13,920 Speaker 2: down with some of your favorite guests from the last 21 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,040 Speaker 2: three sixty five to chat about what lessons. 22 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:18,320 Speaker 3: They're bringing with them into the new year. 23 00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:22,440 Speaker 2: Each guest gives us some highlights from their past year. 24 00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:24,959 Speaker 2: They offer up a word they're focusing on in the 25 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:28,440 Speaker 2: new year, and then share some advice on how to 26 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:32,600 Speaker 2: move through the next fifty two weeks with grace and. 27 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:33,959 Speaker 3: A positive outlook. 28 00:01:34,319 --> 00:01:37,960 Speaker 2: So far this week, I have chatted with Kira Demato, 29 00:01:38,319 --> 00:01:44,360 Speaker 2: Minaje Das, and Kirsten Ferguson, and today I add Case Kenny, 30 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:49,880 Speaker 2: mindfulness expert and podcast host of the show New Mindset, 31 00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:55,240 Speaker 2: who dis to the roster. You all loved him the 32 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:58,600 Speaker 2: first time he was on Hurdle, so I was ecstatic 33 00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:04,960 Speaker 2: to reconnect with the super inspirational guy for this week's series. 34 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:08,919 Speaker 2: In today's episode, Case and I chat about his new 35 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:12,840 Speaker 2: life development in which he moved to Miami and what 36 00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:17,240 Speaker 2: he has his mindset on no pun intended for the 37 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:22,480 Speaker 2: next year. We talk about the importance of establishing healthy boundaries, 38 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:25,600 Speaker 2: and we also chat about how all of us have 39 00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:31,079 Speaker 2: the opportunity to define and shape what happiness looks for. 40 00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:32,519 Speaker 3: Us as individuals. 41 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:37,760 Speaker 2: Case also talks about the importance of not getting way 42 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:41,799 Speaker 2: too settled into any one routine and offer some. 43 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:46,000 Speaker 3: Insight on habit formation that I know you are going 44 00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:47,040 Speaker 3: to find pretty interesting. 45 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:51,640 Speaker 2: Loved again this convo, and I'm really appreciating all of 46 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:55,160 Speaker 2: your feedback on this week's series. I'd love to see 47 00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:58,519 Speaker 2: you tag the show on Instagram if you are tuning in, 48 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:01,120 Speaker 2: share it with a friend, And while you're at it, 49 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:05,280 Speaker 2: make sure to read it in Apple Podcasts. If you 50 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:07,280 Speaker 2: aren't doing so yet, make sure you're following along with 51 00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:10,360 Speaker 2: Hurdle over on social It's at Hurdle podcast. I myself 52 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:13,720 Speaker 2: am over at Emily a Body And if you are 53 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:16,960 Speaker 2: not yet subscribed to the Weekly Hurdle, the newsletter that 54 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:19,480 Speaker 2: comes out every single Friday, the link to do that 55 00:03:19,919 --> 00:03:24,280 Speaker 2: is also in the show notes. With that, let's get 56 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:27,839 Speaker 2: to hurdling. 57 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:31,560 Speaker 3: Today. 58 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:34,960 Speaker 2: I am sitting back down with Case Kenny. He's a 59 00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:37,200 Speaker 2: mindfulness expert and podcast host. 60 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:37,800 Speaker 3: How you doing. 61 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:41,000 Speaker 1: I'm amazing, How are you doing? Thanks for having me again. 62 00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:44,400 Speaker 2: By the way, of course, I'm so happy to have 63 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:46,560 Speaker 2: you back here. I'm happy to be able to catch up. 64 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:49,960 Speaker 2: I know a lot has been going on in your world. 65 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:51,320 Speaker 2: How is Miami treating you? 66 00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:54,640 Speaker 1: It's amazing. Yeah, I mean I've been here for like 67 00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:58,080 Speaker 1: a week and a half, but it's just very surreal. 68 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:01,840 Speaker 1: Having grown up in the Midwest and then spent the 69 00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:05,240 Speaker 1: past like twelve winters in the Midwest. It's just very 70 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:09,480 Speaker 1: weird to have a very warm, tropical winter. So so far, 71 00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:13,920 Speaker 1: so good. It's making me very like motivated and energetic, 72 00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:18,080 Speaker 1: which is different from anyone you ask in the Midwest 73 00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:20,600 Speaker 1: how the winter makes you feel. So I'm very grateful. 74 00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:26,160 Speaker 2: Well, catch us up to speed. Why Miami, what's been 75 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:27,839 Speaker 2: going on? Give us the four one one? 76 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:33,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, So I moved here with my girlfriend and basically, 77 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,000 Speaker 1: I mean basically for us for me, like it was 78 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,719 Speaker 1: the same mindset. It was like, you know, our leases 79 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:40,679 Speaker 1: were coming up in Chicago, Like we wanted new places anyway, 80 00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:44,200 Speaker 1: and we were like, what is the opposite of Chicago 81 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:47,440 Speaker 1: that we could do, you know, for a temporary amount 82 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:49,880 Speaker 1: of time, definitely in Midwestern and I'll be back, but 83 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:52,520 Speaker 1: I wanted to see, like what would the opposite of 84 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:56,520 Speaker 1: Chicago be. I'm very big on like like mixing things up, 85 00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:58,520 Speaker 1: and like the exercise I always like to do is like, 86 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:00,320 Speaker 1: what is the opposite of what I've been doing, What 87 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:02,360 Speaker 1: is the opposite of my routine, what is the opposite 88 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:04,280 Speaker 1: of how I've been thinking? And let's just try it. 89 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:08,240 Speaker 1: Let's just go for it and that landed on Miami. 90 00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:10,320 Speaker 1: I feel like that's the opposite of Chicago in the 91 00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:14,280 Speaker 1: winter at least. And yeah, that's pretty much it. We're 92 00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:16,720 Speaker 1: fortunate to find a place down here that is really 93 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:20,400 Speaker 1: really nice on South Beach and was furnished and six 94 00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:24,240 Speaker 1: month lease, so it was very it was perfect. And 95 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:27,000 Speaker 1: you know, I've coupled a bunch of other objectives while 96 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:29,960 Speaker 1: I'm down here, including finishing up my existing book, which 97 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:32,440 Speaker 1: is coming out in January, and then writing another one 98 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:35,520 Speaker 1: which is coming out late next year. So just feeling 99 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:38,719 Speaker 1: very energized to do something different and kind of do 100 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:41,080 Speaker 1: a nice reset and you know, at a time in 101 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:43,680 Speaker 1: life where I can and I'm grateful for that and 102 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:46,560 Speaker 1: I recognize that, and yeah, it just seemed like a 103 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:48,479 Speaker 1: really good opportunity. And we drove down here, so it 104 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:50,320 Speaker 1: was like a road trip. It was you know a 105 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:52,640 Speaker 1: lot of shocks to the system. I feel like COVID 106 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:55,760 Speaker 1: and you know, from twenty twenty to twenty twenty through 107 00:05:55,839 --> 00:05:58,360 Speaker 1: today was kind of just the same, the same, the same. 108 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,839 Speaker 1: So this is a really good opportunity to just you know, 109 00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:02,000 Speaker 1: do different. 110 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:06,160 Speaker 2: I love that exercise ask myself, what's the like complete 111 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,159 Speaker 2: opposite of whatever situation. 112 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:08,960 Speaker 3: I'm in right now. 113 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:12,320 Speaker 2: I also feel as though, I mean, I guess geographically 114 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:16,960 Speaker 2: it's a little bit more complicated, but to think about like, 115 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:19,599 Speaker 2: well why not now, Like why does something need to 116 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:22,360 Speaker 2: be how it is just because it's always been this way? 117 00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:24,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it's the ultimate question. I mean, the 118 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:27,159 Speaker 1: idea of the opposite. I actually have a whole chapter 119 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:28,839 Speaker 1: in my new book and it's something I talk a 120 00:06:28,839 --> 00:06:32,039 Speaker 1: lot about on the podcast. It's actually I actually stole 121 00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:35,520 Speaker 1: the idea from Seinfeld. If you watch Seinfeld. It was 122 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:39,040 Speaker 1: basically this thing where George was like frustrated with his life. 123 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:40,400 Speaker 1: He's like, man, I just feel like I'm doing the 124 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,440 Speaker 1: same thing and it's not really working. I have all 125 00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:44,720 Speaker 1: these goals and these things, and it's just not working. 126 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,320 Speaker 1: And he was like, if every thought I've had to 127 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:51,160 Speaker 1: date has been wrong, maybe then the opposite would be right. 128 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:53,760 Speaker 1: And then he starts just being absurd. He would he'd 129 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:55,719 Speaker 1: walk up to women and be like, Hi, my name's George. 130 00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:57,800 Speaker 1: I'm unemployed and I live with my parents. And it 131 00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:00,440 Speaker 1: like started to work for him, kind of like absurd, 132 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:04,320 Speaker 1: absurdest humor and the fact that you know, he has 133 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:07,520 Speaker 1: conditioned himself just to be wrong about everything, and you know, 134 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:11,160 Speaker 1: the opposite, no matter how absurd or outlandish or you know, 135 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:13,560 Speaker 1: just weird, turns out to be right for him. And 136 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:15,800 Speaker 1: you know, I'm not saying that myself or anyone in 137 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:18,760 Speaker 1: general who has found themselves in routine or habit or 138 00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:22,200 Speaker 1: comfort is wrong, but I just think there's always value 139 00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:27,160 Speaker 1: in questioning that. And you know, questioning certainty. I think 140 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:29,920 Speaker 1: the idea of certainty is is good in life. Is 141 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:32,000 Speaker 1: great to go out and find clarity and certainty, but 142 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,480 Speaker 1: it could also be dangerous if you accept it for 143 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:36,920 Speaker 1: long enough, then you lull yourself into a pattern and 144 00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:40,200 Speaker 1: then you wake up four years later and you're like, oh, man, 145 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:42,520 Speaker 1: I've been I've been sitting in this in this comfort. 146 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:44,400 Speaker 1: So you know, for me, it's always just you know, 147 00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:47,040 Speaker 1: a good gut check of like, am I continuing to 148 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:49,840 Speaker 1: go along a path that is growing me, that is 149 00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:52,720 Speaker 1: challenging me, that is introducing new things into my life, 150 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:55,760 Speaker 1: that is enabling me to be curious. And if the 151 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:57,520 Speaker 1: answer is no, then I think, yeah, let's find some 152 00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:00,440 Speaker 1: ways to introduce some new variables. I don't always suggest 153 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:02,760 Speaker 1: packing up, moving across the country, but I think there's 154 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:05,320 Speaker 1: many different ways, and you know, for myself, it just 155 00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:08,160 Speaker 1: presented an opportunity to do that in a somewhat big 156 00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:11,040 Speaker 1: way for myself. And you know, it feels good. It 157 00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:12,640 Speaker 1: feels good. You know, it's a privilege to be able 158 00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:15,720 Speaker 1: to do that, of course, but I think it's always 159 00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:17,760 Speaker 1: it's always a good idea to challenge yourself on what 160 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:19,520 Speaker 1: you know to be true and do it yearly. I 161 00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:20,840 Speaker 1: mean we're at the end of the year right now. 162 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:23,320 Speaker 1: Now is a great time to do an exercise like that. 163 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:25,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely, definitely. 164 00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:28,560 Speaker 2: I you know, when we when we take a look 165 00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:32,080 Speaker 2: back at twenty twenty two, and can I tell you 166 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:34,240 Speaker 2: at the tournament New Year, I am always like. 167 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:36,280 Speaker 3: Are we going to twenty four? Are we on twenty three? 168 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:38,200 Speaker 3: Like what's happening here? 169 00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:41,480 Speaker 2: But when you look back the past three sixty five, 170 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:44,200 Speaker 2: what would you say some of the biggest lessons you 171 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:46,400 Speaker 2: learned have been It's. 172 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:49,560 Speaker 1: The ultimate self help topic, right about how we assign 173 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:54,000 Speaker 1: our life's happiness to external goals and validation. Right we say, oh, 174 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:56,640 Speaker 1: I'll be happy once I have a partner. I'll be 175 00:08:56,679 --> 00:08:58,559 Speaker 1: happy once I earn one hundred thousand dollars, I'll be 176 00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:01,200 Speaker 1: happy once I'm Forbes dittering under thirty, Like, we set 177 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:03,480 Speaker 1: these external goals, which are good goals, of course, but 178 00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:07,240 Speaker 1: then we align our internal happiness to that goal. And 179 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,839 Speaker 1: it's the ultimate human trap, right where we're looking at 180 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:13,480 Speaker 1: achievement in success, and we're correlating that to our ability 181 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:16,080 Speaker 1: to be happy, to be fulfilled, to be at peace, 182 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:18,760 Speaker 1: whatever our inner goal is. And you know, I think 183 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:21,280 Speaker 1: I learned this year that if that's the case, and 184 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:25,439 Speaker 1: you allow yourself to do that, you can potentially always 185 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:28,120 Speaker 1: be waiting. You could always always be waiting, because what 186 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:30,280 Speaker 1: we naturally do is we just move the finish line. 187 00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:32,400 Speaker 1: Once you earn one hundred thousand dollars, well, then you 188 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:34,960 Speaker 1: start having one hundred thousand dollars problems, which means you 189 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:36,400 Speaker 1: need to make two hundred thousand and so on and 190 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:38,600 Speaker 1: so forth. Once you find your partner, well then it's 191 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:40,760 Speaker 1: about getting engaged, and then it's about getting married, and 192 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:42,480 Speaker 1: then it's about kids and so on and so forth. 193 00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:45,319 Speaker 1: We're always going to set another goal that will then 194 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:48,560 Speaker 1: align our happiness to. And I've just realized, you know, 195 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:51,520 Speaker 1: I'm never one to say that, you know, happiness is 196 00:09:51,559 --> 00:09:56,360 Speaker 1: a choice that feels rather cold and not empathetic to 197 00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:58,840 Speaker 1: you know, life that can be unfair to certain people. 198 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:01,199 Speaker 1: So I I don't want to say that, but I 199 00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:04,560 Speaker 1: have learned that there's a certain practicality to deciding I 200 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:06,720 Speaker 1: have everything I need right now to be happy. And 201 00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:09,360 Speaker 1: I realized that this year, and I've just really challenged 202 00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:11,720 Speaker 1: myself to say, what do I need to be happy? 203 00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:14,559 Speaker 1: And do I have it? And then the majority of circumstances, 204 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:16,880 Speaker 1: it's yes, I do have it. And I'm just very 205 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:19,959 Speaker 1: motivated by the idea of I don't ever want to 206 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,800 Speaker 1: look back and say, like, I spent too long waiting 207 00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:26,000 Speaker 1: to decide to be happy. And I just realized that 208 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:28,440 Speaker 1: this year. You know, we've got a lot more control 209 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:32,120 Speaker 1: in our inner life than we assume because we're so 210 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:35,360 Speaker 1: inclined to attach it to our outer life. And you know, 211 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:37,920 Speaker 1: I've spent a lot of time this year being intentional 212 00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:40,440 Speaker 1: about saying I have everything I need to be happy. 213 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:42,760 Speaker 1: And here's why. You call that gratitude whatever you want, 214 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:44,760 Speaker 1: but that was a big lesson for me this. 215 00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:46,000 Speaker 3: Year, definitely. 216 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:50,520 Speaker 2: And you said before, you know, author working on finishing 217 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:53,800 Speaker 2: book one then starting book two, how does it make 218 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:55,559 Speaker 2: you feel to be at this point in your life 219 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:59,560 Speaker 2: where this is a you know, part of the multi 220 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:00,480 Speaker 2: hyphen it right. 221 00:11:01,679 --> 00:11:04,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it's wild too, because I mean, I up 222 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:07,800 Speaker 1: until this time last year, so it's been a full 223 00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:11,480 Speaker 1: year now, I worked a job I worked for almost 224 00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:15,319 Speaker 1: ten years in advertising and sales, and that was my reality. 225 00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:18,160 Speaker 1: That was, you know, that is how you define yourself, 226 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:20,520 Speaker 1: the ability to be a good salesperson. I was a 227 00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:24,319 Speaker 1: regional sales vice president at an advertising technology company. That 228 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:27,559 Speaker 1: was how I defined myself. It's it's I'm still wrapping 229 00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:29,760 Speaker 1: my head around the fact that I get to make 230 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:33,319 Speaker 1: a living from what's in my heart and soul and 231 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:37,000 Speaker 1: creative output. And you know, for me, that's writing books, 232 00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:40,600 Speaker 1: it's creating music, it's making a products, it's it's writing, 233 00:11:40,679 --> 00:11:43,600 Speaker 1: it's creating. And it's a wild world to say that's truly, 234 00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:46,640 Speaker 1: and it's such a departure from how I used to 235 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:51,200 Speaker 1: think of how I look viewed success and fulfillment. So 236 00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:53,040 Speaker 1: it's amazing. It's amazing to be like, all right, what 237 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,840 Speaker 1: am I going to do today? And it's something creative, 238 00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:58,120 Speaker 1: like what a gift. It's not like oh I got 239 00:11:58,120 --> 00:11:59,800 Speaker 1: to do this P and L spreadsheet or I got 240 00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:02,520 Speaker 1: to make ten cold calls like I've done that, and 241 00:12:02,559 --> 00:12:04,640 Speaker 1: I have so much respect for that, But I get 242 00:12:04,679 --> 00:12:06,920 Speaker 1: to do the opposite of that now and it's a 243 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:09,960 Speaker 1: crazy privilege and it's so very fulfilling. 244 00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:15,559 Speaker 2: Yeah, for someone who may find themselves in this new 245 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:19,240 Speaker 2: year going through a period of transition, maybe it is 246 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:22,760 Speaker 2: within a job or a career move, or perhaps they 247 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:25,839 Speaker 2: too are looking to relocate to a new city. 248 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:27,720 Speaker 3: You talked about how we identify. 249 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:31,960 Speaker 2: What advice would you have to anyone who finds themselves 250 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:33,800 Speaker 2: in that big period of transition? 251 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:38,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you know, I talk a lot about 252 00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:41,160 Speaker 1: like what my motivation is in life and how it's 253 00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:45,000 Speaker 1: kind of evolved. Like I used to be someone you say, like, 254 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,679 Speaker 1: what do you want in life? Case? And I would say, 255 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:48,439 Speaker 1: I just want to be happy. And I think that's 256 00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:51,079 Speaker 1: a great goal, but it's it could be a very 257 00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:55,240 Speaker 1: confusing goal because what is happiness? How do you control happiness? 258 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:59,000 Speaker 1: You can't. Happiness is the ultimate random thing in life. 259 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:01,520 Speaker 1: It's so many variables at play, and you can make 260 00:13:01,559 --> 00:13:04,720 Speaker 1: the decision to our previous point to be happy, but 261 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:07,079 Speaker 1: ultimately there's a lot of things that are out of 262 00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:09,320 Speaker 1: your control that prevent you from being happy. So I've 263 00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:11,000 Speaker 1: kind of switched my goal in life from I want 264 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,920 Speaker 1: to be happy to I want to be proud of myself. 265 00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:17,040 Speaker 1: That's big for me, and that's something I can always control. 266 00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:19,440 Speaker 1: Right The way that you say you're proud of yourself 267 00:13:19,559 --> 00:13:22,320 Speaker 1: or not is likely about what you're willing to try. 268 00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:25,360 Speaker 1: It's not always the result. It's certainly part of it, 269 00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:27,920 Speaker 1: but in most cases you're proud of yourself for the 270 00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:30,160 Speaker 1: effort you put forth and hopefully it gives you the 271 00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:33,679 Speaker 1: result you want. But ultimately that's that point of proof, 272 00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:36,520 Speaker 1: which is your willingness to try. So I'm very focused 273 00:13:36,559 --> 00:13:38,520 Speaker 1: on that, and I think when it comes to transitions 274 00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:41,200 Speaker 1: in life, it's the ultimate time to push yourself to 275 00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:44,520 Speaker 1: be uncomfortable, to be awkward, to be weird through the 276 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:47,160 Speaker 1: lens of am I proud of myself in this moment, 277 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:49,280 Speaker 1: and then you can take it a step further. I'm 278 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:52,839 Speaker 1: very motivated by the idea of regret in life, not 279 00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:55,560 Speaker 1: as something to run from or be afraid of, but 280 00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:57,640 Speaker 1: you know, it's this thing that you can never change. 281 00:13:57,679 --> 00:14:00,319 Speaker 1: So the exercise that I encourage a lot of people 282 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:02,160 Speaker 1: to do is to look at yourself and say, what 283 00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:04,880 Speaker 1: don't I want to regret. If you're in that period 284 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:08,000 Speaker 1: of transition, it's amazing. That means opportunity, That means you 285 00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:10,200 Speaker 1: can go left if you've been going right, and vice versa, 286 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:12,240 Speaker 1: it's amazing. Might be a good time to say, what 287 00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:15,640 Speaker 1: don't I want to regret? Verbalize that as best you can, 288 00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:18,400 Speaker 1: and then start doing actions that align with it, actions 289 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:20,840 Speaker 1: that make you proud of yourself. And I think that 290 00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:23,760 Speaker 1: transition will be really well served because you're you're really 291 00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:28,800 Speaker 1: getting to the core of what makes you insert adjective there, happy, fulfilled, 292 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:31,920 Speaker 1: at peace, confident, whatever it is that you're trying to pursue. 293 00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:36,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, although you're you know, now in this place where 294 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:38,440 Speaker 2: you get to wake up every day and be creative, 295 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:41,680 Speaker 2: you really feel like you're you know, following your passions 296 00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:45,440 Speaker 2: and designing this life. What would you say has been 297 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:48,280 Speaker 2: one of the most difficult hurdles that you've had to 298 00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:51,440 Speaker 2: overcome in twenty twenty two? 299 00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:56,440 Speaker 1: Man, I mean, I will say not to harp on 300 00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:59,600 Speaker 1: the practicality of you know, quitting a job, but that 301 00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:03,120 Speaker 1: has been and that has been a big just mentality difference, 302 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:05,240 Speaker 1: Like not only did I quit a job, but I 303 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:08,280 Speaker 1: quit a career. You know, I left behind a decade 304 00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:12,920 Speaker 1: of building my network and rolodex and skill sets and 305 00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:14,600 Speaker 1: you know, I let a team and all that kind 306 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:16,680 Speaker 1: of stuff, So I left that behind. But you know, 307 00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:23,400 Speaker 1: switching from you know, corporate person to solo preneur, artists, creative, 308 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:25,880 Speaker 1: whatever however you like to refer to yourself, it's it's 309 00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:28,200 Speaker 1: a big mentality switch. You know, there's a lot more 310 00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:32,600 Speaker 1: pressure associated with it. There's no guaranteed paycheck, there's nothing's guaranteed. 311 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:37,600 Speaker 1: Your ability to achieve is based on your ability to achieve. 312 00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:41,840 Speaker 1: And you know, thet think about, you know, the corporate world. 313 00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:44,960 Speaker 1: You hear things like quiet quitting. It's because it's easy 314 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,160 Speaker 1: to make a living, get paid, you know, feel decent 315 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:50,080 Speaker 1: about yourself and not really stress yourself out. But when 316 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:53,240 Speaker 1: it comes to switching to something that is inherently one 317 00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:56,880 Speaker 1: on one, solo preneur or you know, that is the 318 00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:59,160 Speaker 1: that comes from your heart and your soul and your 319 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:01,960 Speaker 1: ability to be created, it's just a different type of pressure. 320 00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:03,760 Speaker 1: And I welcome it and I love it, but it's 321 00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:06,760 Speaker 1: just different. It's very I would say, it's much more rewarding, 322 00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:09,120 Speaker 1: but there's also a lot of pressure on yourself. And 323 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:11,560 Speaker 1: it took me about the first eight months of this 324 00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:13,720 Speaker 1: year to really wrap my head around that and not 325 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:15,680 Speaker 1: beat myself up when I have a bad day or 326 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:17,760 Speaker 1: a bad month, or I don't achieve something that I 327 00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:20,320 Speaker 1: wanted and not think that, oh I made the wrong 328 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,840 Speaker 1: choice or something like that. So I'm robbing, you know, 329 00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:26,560 Speaker 1: still evolving through that, but it's just been a big 330 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:28,840 Speaker 1: mentality shift. But at the end of the day, it's 331 00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:31,200 Speaker 1: just show me that the power that we all have 332 00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:34,320 Speaker 1: to set a goal to move towards it, to feel doubt, 333 00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:39,040 Speaker 1: but to move forward anyway despite that feeling. And you know, 334 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:41,000 Speaker 1: I'm proud of myself for that, in line with what 335 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:41,680 Speaker 1: we're talking about. 336 00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:46,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I'll never forget probably in the first 337 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:49,000 Speaker 2: year or so when I went out on my own 338 00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:51,320 Speaker 2: and I was freelancing. This is before I had even 339 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:53,720 Speaker 2: started the show, but I remember being in the back 340 00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:56,160 Speaker 2: of my friend's jeep going to the Hamptons and thinking 341 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:58,720 Speaker 2: to myself, like, if these checks that were supposed to 342 00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:01,680 Speaker 2: be here last week don't hit my bank account within 343 00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:04,240 Speaker 2: like the next forty eight hours, Like I'm not entirely 344 00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:06,920 Speaker 2: sure how I'm going to pay my rent. 345 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,600 Speaker 3: And I'll never forget about that. 346 00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:11,000 Speaker 2: Like pit in my stomach feeling because I knew that 347 00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:15,480 Speaker 2: I never wanted to experience it ever again. So these 348 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:19,200 Speaker 2: hardships and these kind of like awakening moments, they help 349 00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:23,320 Speaker 2: us figure out how to become a better version of ourselves. 350 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:26,560 Speaker 2: Do you have any hurdle moments, so to speak, from 351 00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:29,399 Speaker 2: this past year that comes to mind when you think 352 00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:33,359 Speaker 2: about the lessons that you have been learning as a solopreneur. 353 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:39,840 Speaker 1: Absolutely, I mean, I it's been a whirlwin the past 354 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:42,199 Speaker 1: two years and then this past year in particular. I 355 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:45,119 Speaker 1: mean I made some business mistakes this past year for sure. 356 00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:51,119 Speaker 1: Like I started a brand this past year, which was 357 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,280 Speaker 1: it was a candle brand, and I'm still very proud 358 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:57,680 Speaker 1: of it, unbothered dot Com. And you know, a lot 359 00:17:57,680 --> 00:17:59,760 Speaker 1: went into it. I never launched a candle before, never 360 00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:03,640 Speaker 1: made you factured a campbell before, and I learned a lot. 361 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:05,280 Speaker 1: You know, it kind of missed the mark as far 362 00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:08,919 Speaker 1: as business metrics go. And you realize you sink you know, 363 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,879 Speaker 1: six figures into something. You know, you can't just snap 364 00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:14,280 Speaker 1: your fingers and get your money back. And I and 365 00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:16,080 Speaker 1: I learned that the hard way. I learned a lot 366 00:18:16,119 --> 00:18:18,639 Speaker 1: about like e commerce and and you know, business building 367 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:21,679 Speaker 1: and inventory and and all all the things that I 368 00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:24,760 Speaker 1: didn't really have experience with before that I learned firsthand. 369 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:26,960 Speaker 1: And you know it's easy. It's you make a mistake 370 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,240 Speaker 1: at work, you don't close a deal at your sales job. 371 00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:30,639 Speaker 1: You know, you get up and you go to the 372 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:32,680 Speaker 1: next one, no harm, no foul, because you've got people 373 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:35,320 Speaker 1: backing you, and you know you've got you've got that job. 374 00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:37,800 Speaker 1: But you know, you sink money into something that doesn't work. 375 00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:39,639 Speaker 1: You know, it's not like you just move on to 376 00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:41,080 Speaker 1: the next one. You need to figure out how to 377 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:44,399 Speaker 1: pivot and and do things right. And yeah, and I 378 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:46,280 Speaker 1: think I think I've also learned a lot. It's you know, 379 00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:50,640 Speaker 1: when it comes to solopreneuring and creatorship and authorship, you're 380 00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:53,800 Speaker 1: always building for the future. Like I started writing this 381 00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:56,800 Speaker 1: book that I'm releasing in January, I started writing this 382 00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:59,840 Speaker 1: back in April this past year. So you know, it's 383 00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:01,919 Speaker 1: a it's an eight month saga before you see a 384 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,760 Speaker 1: single cent when it comes to income. And you've just 385 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:07,280 Speaker 1: really got to learn to believe in yourself. And that's 386 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,400 Speaker 1: a struggle for me, even though I'm the guy who 387 00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:11,880 Speaker 1: talks a lot about confidence and self esteem and things 388 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:15,040 Speaker 1: like that. I feel the imposter syndrome rear its head 389 00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:18,639 Speaker 1: all day every day, and especially in the face of 390 00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:20,640 Speaker 1: you know, you've got to build a product, you've got 391 00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:22,919 Speaker 1: to build a book, You've got to build something for 392 00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:26,919 Speaker 1: months before you see the ROI on it, and you know, 393 00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:30,719 Speaker 1: I've accepted that. And there's periods of time to your 394 00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:32,320 Speaker 1: point where you're like, oh, man, if I don't get 395 00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:33,480 Speaker 1: this or I don't get that, I don't know what 396 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:35,639 Speaker 1: I'm going to do. But you know that doubt is 397 00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:37,600 Speaker 1: part of the game. And you know, I really like 398 00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:40,600 Speaker 1: the word despite because you could feel all those things, 399 00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:43,040 Speaker 1: but you move forward despite it, and that's always a reason, 400 00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:44,680 Speaker 1: you know, to be proud of yourself. It's a reason 401 00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:47,600 Speaker 1: that I'm proud of myself for continuing to move forward. 402 00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:50,720 Speaker 2: In those moments when you don't feel so shiny and 403 00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:54,280 Speaker 2: you are like trying to think long term, how do 404 00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:56,520 Speaker 2: you keep showing up and stay of off burnout? 405 00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:00,679 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a great question because I'm not great at it. 406 00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:04,760 Speaker 1: If I'm honest, I'm always always working. And it's like 407 00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:07,680 Speaker 1: even this book that I'm I'm done with now because 408 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:10,880 Speaker 1: it's coming out in you know, four weeks, I'm already 409 00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:13,040 Speaker 1: moving on to the next one, and I don't have to. 410 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:16,720 Speaker 1: I really don't have to. I should probably chill. So 411 00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:18,919 Speaker 1: I don't have a great answer. I'm working on that. 412 00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:22,040 Speaker 1: I'm working on, trying to find a better balance. You know. 413 00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:24,919 Speaker 1: The thing that does give me some respite from that, 414 00:20:25,119 --> 00:20:30,240 Speaker 1: certainly is the ability to practice gratitude in journaling. That's 415 00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:32,040 Speaker 1: a big way that I could actually kind of audit 416 00:20:32,119 --> 00:20:34,840 Speaker 1: my life and instead of always focusing on the things 417 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:38,000 Speaker 1: that I lack or the things that I'm building towards, 418 00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:40,160 Speaker 1: doing an inventory of what I have accomplished. I've done 419 00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:43,120 Speaker 1: some great things this year, certainly, certainly amidst the things 420 00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:45,480 Speaker 1: that I haven't achieved yet. So I think trying to 421 00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:48,199 Speaker 1: remind myself of that space of what I've gained, of 422 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:52,080 Speaker 1: what I've learned, of how I've grown. Reminding myself of 423 00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:54,000 Speaker 1: that does take some of the pressure off and be like, 424 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,800 Speaker 1: you know what, I can take today off, I can 425 00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:57,680 Speaker 1: take the week off, you know, I can. I can 426 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,360 Speaker 1: still accomplish what I want to do, and a bit 427 00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:03,720 Speaker 1: kinder and gentler to myself. So I think that'll always 428 00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:05,600 Speaker 1: be a struggle for me. I think it's a struggle 429 00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:08,520 Speaker 1: for anyone who is type or you know, has that 430 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:11,280 Speaker 1: kind of hustle mentality. But I think balance, finding a 431 00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:14,359 Speaker 1: balance that works for you is is the key to 432 00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:18,560 Speaker 1: you know, not suffering burnout. But I think it's probably 433 00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:21,639 Speaker 1: the ultimate relatable topic for anyone who is creative or 434 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:22,400 Speaker 1: an entrepreneur. 435 00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:27,399 Speaker 2: Yeah for for that tip, to reflect on some of 436 00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:29,520 Speaker 2: your other wins from the year, I feel like that's 437 00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:33,720 Speaker 2: probably something that many of us may struggle with making 438 00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:36,600 Speaker 2: the time for right, Especially in the heat of a 439 00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:39,679 Speaker 2: moment when things aren't going as you'd hoped, it's easy 440 00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:43,080 Speaker 2: just to let that negative talk sink in so to 441 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:45,040 Speaker 2: get to a point where you're like, Okay, things might 442 00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:47,879 Speaker 2: not be going as I want them to at this moment, 443 00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:50,679 Speaker 2: but like, let's just take a beat and remember like 444 00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:53,800 Speaker 2: I am capable. I did X and Y, and I 445 00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:55,679 Speaker 2: am better for doing those things. 446 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,720 Speaker 1: It's yeah, it's it's a gratitude exercise to do that. 447 00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:01,399 Speaker 1: And also, like I find a lot of power in 448 00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:06,159 Speaker 1: like mindful logic, Like we're very quick to be like, 449 00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:08,879 Speaker 1: oh man, things aren't going well, Like oh boy, like 450 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:11,159 Speaker 1: I am approaching a cliff or something like that, right, 451 00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:15,280 Speaker 1: because we're very aware of like failures and missteps and delays. Right, 452 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:17,720 Speaker 1: it's very easy to be like, you know, point those 453 00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:20,440 Speaker 1: things out, and you know, we can very easily say, man, 454 00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:23,240 Speaker 1: things were going well and now they're not going well, 455 00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:25,840 Speaker 1: and it's very easy to find evidence to support that. 456 00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:27,879 Speaker 1: And if but if that's the case, why can't we 457 00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:31,120 Speaker 1: also apply the same logic in a very optimistic manner 458 00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:32,760 Speaker 1: to the flip side of that, That is, if, like 459 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:34,600 Speaker 1: I do this exercise a lot of that. If life 460 00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:37,040 Speaker 1: can go from one hundred to zero very quickly, right, 461 00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:39,520 Speaker 1: life can go from being in a relationship to being 462 00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:41,879 Speaker 1: broken up with to selling a ton of books to 463 00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:45,040 Speaker 1: not selling any books, right, one hundred to zero. If 464 00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:47,159 Speaker 1: we know that that is true, and we have proof 465 00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:49,040 Speaker 1: of that, why can't we believe that we could also 466 00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:51,879 Speaker 1: go from zero to one hundred just as fast. You know, 467 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:53,840 Speaker 1: who's to say that tomorrow can't be the day where 468 00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:57,239 Speaker 1: you meet someone new, where you finally kickstart new you know, 469 00:22:57,280 --> 00:22:59,800 Speaker 1: new sales, where you come up with a brilliant idea. 470 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:03,320 Speaker 1: Like that type of logical optimism is what keeps me 471 00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:06,520 Speaker 1: in the game when those negative moments creep up. And 472 00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:09,200 Speaker 1: it's logically based because we could find we got to 473 00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:11,720 Speaker 1: push ourselves, but we could find evidence to support both. 474 00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:13,960 Speaker 1: We could find evidence that says, here's where life has 475 00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:16,639 Speaker 1: gone from good to bad. We could also find evidence 476 00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:18,640 Speaker 1: that says, here's where life went from bad to good, 477 00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:20,840 Speaker 1: and why can't we focus on that instead of the 478 00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:24,000 Speaker 1: negative thoughts which are normal, which are natural. So I 479 00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:26,040 Speaker 1: find a lot of power and an exercise like that. 480 00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:33,160 Speaker 2: Taking a break from today's episode to talk to you 481 00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:36,520 Speaker 2: about the sponsors for this series. 482 00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:41,280 Speaker 3: First up, Whoop January is here. 483 00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:43,359 Speaker 2: Which means that most of you out there have just 484 00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:47,120 Speaker 2: started working on some sort of goal for twenty twenty three. 485 00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:48,119 Speaker 3: Personally. 486 00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:51,240 Speaker 2: In my toolbox are a lot of things, but one 487 00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:54,600 Speaker 2: of my favorites is my Whoop Now. Whoop is a 488 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:58,880 Speaker 2: fitness tracker that monitors all the conventional fitness metrics you'd expect, 489 00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:04,520 Speaker 2: but alsoizes in tracking personalized recovery and sleep data. Think 490 00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:06,960 Speaker 2: of it as a coach on your wrist, providing you 491 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:10,440 Speaker 2: with detail the breakdowns of your sleep and recovery, along 492 00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:14,320 Speaker 2: with how you can improve both. It also suggests personalized 493 00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:18,879 Speaker 2: daily activity levels based on that recovery. 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When you look 526 00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:31,400 Speaker 2: back on the past three sixty five, have you adopted 527 00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:34,880 Speaker 2: any new habits or routines that have really served you? 528 00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:41,840 Speaker 1: Actually random ones that I'm still trying to figure out, 529 00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:45,359 Speaker 1: Like what the big, large, big picture impact has been like, 530 00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:49,879 Speaker 1: for one, finishing what I start. I've always been pretty 531 00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:51,760 Speaker 1: bad at like starting a bunch of things and then 532 00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:54,359 Speaker 1: not finishing them. And then also this sounds really silly, 533 00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:57,679 Speaker 1: but like not eating all my food, like leaving like 534 00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:00,239 Speaker 1: a little bit behind. And I don't know what it 535 00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:01,800 Speaker 1: was about that, but this past year I was like, 536 00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:04,560 Speaker 1: that's ridiculous. Like if I'm gonna, you know, eat a 537 00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:07,360 Speaker 1: salad or eat a meal, I'm gonna eat the whole thing. 538 00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:10,800 Speaker 1: And I just started to do that and it's been 539 00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:14,280 Speaker 1: a it's been helpful mentality wise. And I don't know, 540 00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:15,960 Speaker 1: it's such a weird thing, and I don't know why 541 00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:17,879 Speaker 1: I thought of that on the spot, but you know, 542 00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:20,080 Speaker 1: you think about like where pride comes from and self 543 00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:22,280 Speaker 1: esteem comes from. It comes from doing the things you 544 00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:26,040 Speaker 1: say you're going to do, or at least acknowledging why 545 00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:28,760 Speaker 1: you're changing your mind or why you're pivoting. You certainly 546 00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:30,760 Speaker 1: don't need to start everything you finish that the greatest 547 00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:33,000 Speaker 1: ability in life is to decide you no longer want 548 00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:36,679 Speaker 1: to do that, but actually addressing that and holding yourself 549 00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:39,679 Speaker 1: accountable for it. And I think this past year, I 550 00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:42,159 Speaker 1: think maybe it was, you know, moving in a direction 551 00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:43,800 Speaker 1: of quitting my job and doing this. It just like 552 00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:48,000 Speaker 1: supercharged my accountability for myself, which now that I've leaned 553 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,720 Speaker 1: into it has kind of supercharged my self esteem and 554 00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:53,159 Speaker 1: my confidence because I hold myself accountable and I do 555 00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:55,200 Speaker 1: what I say I'm going to do, even if it's awkward, 556 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:57,840 Speaker 1: even if it's embarrassing, whatever it is, And it's just 557 00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:01,600 Speaker 1: really helped me lean into discomfort. Maybe that's what I've 558 00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:04,760 Speaker 1: taken from this past year. But yeah, I would say 559 00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:05,720 Speaker 1: that's been really helpful for me. 560 00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:11,239 Speaker 2: Have you tried to adopt another habit or routine that 561 00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:12,639 Speaker 2: you just couldn't make stick. 562 00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:16,439 Speaker 1: I mean I've tried to be a morning person for years. 563 00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:21,600 Speaker 1: I've just never never had it work. But may I 564 00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:24,320 Speaker 1: don't know, maybe Miami it'll be helpful. There's something about 565 00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:26,439 Speaker 1: trying to wake up early in Chicago that is just 566 00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:32,400 Speaker 1: like it's not biologically possible. Yeah, I'd struggle with that one. 567 00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:35,199 Speaker 2: Especially in the winter. Yeah, I mean talk about a 568 00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:38,560 Speaker 2: major difference here. We're talking opposite. It's Chicago and Miami. 569 00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:40,600 Speaker 2: I'd say that if there's a chance that you could 570 00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:43,160 Speaker 2: be a morning person anywhere, it probably is where you 571 00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:44,280 Speaker 2: are now exactly. 572 00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:46,240 Speaker 1: Yeah. If you could do it here, you know you 573 00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:48,080 Speaker 1: could do it here. Yeah, So maybe that maybe that'll 574 00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:50,360 Speaker 1: be my goal. Actually I made it my intention this week. 575 00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:51,880 Speaker 1: I was going to sit down and really start thinking 576 00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:54,760 Speaker 1: about the new year and goals to set because I 577 00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:57,520 Speaker 1: was actually I have I brought with me my notepad 578 00:28:57,520 --> 00:28:59,320 Speaker 1: that I wrote goals on from last year, and I 579 00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:03,000 Speaker 1: always fall short of the goals that I set for myself. 580 00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:06,240 Speaker 1: I always set them really really monstrously high, and I 581 00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:08,640 Speaker 1: usually do that on purpose, not to like disappoint myself, 582 00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:11,040 Speaker 1: but just to like really think big. So I was 583 00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:13,480 Speaker 1: looking forward to later this week, the sitting down seeing 584 00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:16,040 Speaker 1: where I fell short, but then doing what we're describing 585 00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:18,360 Speaker 1: here of doing the flip side of that and showing 586 00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:21,080 Speaker 1: myself where I did show up and using that to, 587 00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:24,360 Speaker 1: you know, continue to show myself the value of discomfort 588 00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:28,080 Speaker 1: and falling short and staying motivated. I think my biggest fear, 589 00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:31,520 Speaker 1: alongside of what I referenced earlier and regret, is like 590 00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:33,960 Speaker 1: I never want to get comfortable, like I want to 591 00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:35,560 Speaker 1: be at peace. I don't want to be that person 592 00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:38,760 Speaker 1: who is never satisfied. But I think, you know, getting 593 00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:41,200 Speaker 1: too comfortable. I call that living in the gray of life, 594 00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:43,320 Speaker 1: which is where you're just kind of going through the motions. 595 00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:45,520 Speaker 1: I never want to do that. I always want to 596 00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:47,080 Speaker 1: find a way to push myself, even if it has 597 00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:49,000 Speaker 1: nothing to do with business. It could be, you know, 598 00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:51,880 Speaker 1: I got really competitive this year about you know, rowing 599 00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:53,440 Speaker 1: on the ERG and what I could do in a 600 00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:55,440 Speaker 1: one k, just random things, and you know, I want 601 00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:56,960 Speaker 1: to set more goals for myself like that. 602 00:29:57,560 --> 00:29:59,680 Speaker 2: When it comes to goal setting, you brought up this, 603 00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:02,360 Speaker 2: and obviously turn of the New year a tot time 604 00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:05,680 Speaker 2: talk about it. Maybe not a best practice tip is 605 00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:07,880 Speaker 2: like setting goals that are so big that you doubt 606 00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:10,880 Speaker 2: that you can accomplish them. But what advice would you 607 00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:14,600 Speaker 2: bring into the mix for anyone else setting goals now 608 00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:15,640 Speaker 2: for twenty twenty three. 609 00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:19,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's like a bespoke case, Kenny One. Not everyone 610 00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:20,720 Speaker 1: responds to the same. 611 00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:22,840 Speaker 3: Kind of I don't hate it. I don't hate it. 612 00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:25,600 Speaker 2: I don't know if it's practical advice for everyone, but yeah, I. 613 00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:28,240 Speaker 3: Admire the h I admire the passion and drive there. 614 00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:30,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I'm I respond really well to like 615 00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:32,600 Speaker 1: tough guy talk, like come on, like that kind of stuff. 616 00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:35,360 Speaker 1: Not everyone does, so totally recognize that. I don't know. 617 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:37,640 Speaker 1: I mean I would just say in general, like we 618 00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:41,080 Speaker 1: need a why behind goals, Like why are you setting 619 00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:43,600 Speaker 1: that certain goal? Why is it your goal? Is it 620 00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:45,960 Speaker 1: someone else's goal? Are you setting it because you saw 621 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:48,480 Speaker 1: someone else do it and they're happy or they appear happy, 622 00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:51,360 Speaker 1: and therefore you want to emulate their happiness. I suppose 623 00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:53,240 Speaker 1: that's fine. I mean, like, who are we to you know, 624 00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:56,960 Speaker 1: you know, not follow suit from someone else or not 625 00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:59,200 Speaker 1: be inspired by someone else. But I think it really 626 00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:01,320 Speaker 1: behooves us when we set a goal to have a 627 00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:04,200 Speaker 1: strong why behind that goal. Why are we striving for 628 00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:07,920 Speaker 1: that thing? Where? How does it speak to us on 629 00:31:07,960 --> 00:31:11,400 Speaker 1: an individual level? I think that's really really important. I mean, 630 00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:14,360 Speaker 1: you talk to anyone you need a why in general 631 00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:17,240 Speaker 1: in life the power of why, of course, but I 632 00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:20,000 Speaker 1: think practically when it comes to goals, goals that might 633 00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:23,160 Speaker 1: be driven by metrics or numbers or accomplishments, cut and 634 00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:26,280 Speaker 1: dry things, we need a why behind it to keep going. 635 00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:30,800 Speaker 1: Otherwise we're just borrowing someone else's goal and then maybe 636 00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:32,880 Speaker 1: we accomplish it and we're like, well, this didn't really 637 00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:36,320 Speaker 1: offer me much in the way of happiness, fulfillment, whatever 638 00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:38,959 Speaker 1: adjective it is. So I think it really benefits us 639 00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:43,280 Speaker 1: to do that. One of the exercises that I really 640 00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:45,959 Speaker 1: recommend people do is I caught an exercise of I'm 641 00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:49,400 Speaker 1: the kind of person who and instead of setting you know, 642 00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:52,880 Speaker 1: arbitrary goals like I want to be confident, successful, happy, 643 00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:55,880 Speaker 1: you describe yourself with verb statements I'm the kind of 644 00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:59,360 Speaker 1: person who blank, and you complete them with verb statements 645 00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:02,400 Speaker 1: that would make you happy fulfilled, confident, like I'm the 646 00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:04,560 Speaker 1: kind of person who does what they say they're going 647 00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:06,320 Speaker 1: to do. I'm the first kind of person who volunteers 648 00:32:06,320 --> 00:32:08,240 Speaker 1: to go first, so on and so forth. Set goals 649 00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:11,160 Speaker 1: like that, or at least use language to describe yourself 650 00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:13,120 Speaker 1: in that way, and I find that to be much 651 00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:16,320 Speaker 1: more personal and gives you a why or you know, 652 00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:19,040 Speaker 1: empowers you to find a why as opposed to just 653 00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:21,160 Speaker 1: you know, setting goals because it's what you see on 654 00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:23,120 Speaker 1: the internet or it's what you see other people doing. 655 00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:26,200 Speaker 2: I love that because think of it like I'm the 656 00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:28,680 Speaker 2: kind of person who volunteers to go first. It's like 657 00:32:28,720 --> 00:32:30,960 Speaker 2: you can follow that up and ask yourself, like, what 658 00:32:31,280 --> 00:32:33,160 Speaker 2: how would that make you feel if that's the kind 659 00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:35,560 Speaker 2: of person that you were right, So being able to 660 00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:38,200 Speaker 2: bring feeling into that so that you can truly envision 661 00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:40,280 Speaker 2: what it would feel like, what it would be like 662 00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:43,680 Speaker 2: to be the kind of person that you're imagining yourself 663 00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:43,880 Speaker 2: to be. 664 00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:47,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, Yeah, I mean a visualization exercise like that, 665 00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:50,080 Speaker 1: for one, is really helpful because it gets past the 666 00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:52,680 Speaker 1: superficial how does it make you feel? Why is that 667 00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:55,840 Speaker 1: feeling important to you? How does that feeling evolve? You, 668 00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:58,680 Speaker 1: so on and so forth. And I think it helps 669 00:32:58,680 --> 00:33:01,960 Speaker 1: take your power back because in setting goals like I 670 00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:05,320 Speaker 1: want to be happy, you're gonna that life is going 671 00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:08,080 Speaker 1: to threaten that goal massively. How do we come back 672 00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:11,040 Speaker 1: to a place where where where we don't allow randomness 673 00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:14,400 Speaker 1: and bad luck and you know, ill intent people threaten 674 00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:16,440 Speaker 1: that when we come back to our power, that's our 675 00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:18,960 Speaker 1: ability to volunteer, to go first, to show up on time, 676 00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:21,480 Speaker 1: to do the little things, to embrace awkwardness, so on and 677 00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:23,920 Speaker 1: so forth. And you know, we're talking a lot about 678 00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:27,360 Speaker 1: the theme here of pride and willingness and discomfort, and 679 00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:29,360 Speaker 1: those are all things that we can control. And I 680 00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:32,760 Speaker 1: think our goals should reflect that amidst goals where we 681 00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:35,080 Speaker 1: just you know, throw our hands to the wind and say, 682 00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:37,160 Speaker 1: all right, I'm just going to go for this. But 683 00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:39,560 Speaker 1: I think doing that allows you to really hone in 684 00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:41,920 Speaker 1: on the feelings that are important to you. And I 685 00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:43,720 Speaker 1: think even if you're like, well, I'm lost, I don't 686 00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:46,160 Speaker 1: really have a goal, I don't have a purpose. That's fine, 687 00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:47,960 Speaker 1: that's you know, it takes a long time to find 688 00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:49,680 Speaker 1: those things. But I think you focus on the things 689 00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:53,200 Speaker 1: you can control, and you actually do them. I'm personally 690 00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:56,400 Speaker 1: delusional optimist, but I'm convinced they'll lead you to that thing. 691 00:33:56,440 --> 00:33:57,160 Speaker 1: Are those things? 692 00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:00,000 Speaker 2: Focus on the things that you can control A lot 693 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:02,239 Speaker 2: a lot of the time in your writing and on 694 00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:06,680 Speaker 2: social media, you touch a lot on the concept of boundaries. 695 00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:09,960 Speaker 2: For someone whose goal in twenty three is to be 696 00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:14,200 Speaker 2: better at upkeeping their boundaries, what advice do you have 697 00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:15,320 Speaker 2: for them? 698 00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:17,520 Speaker 1: Oh? Boy? I mean, I would just come back to 699 00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:20,280 Speaker 1: the one word that I think is the enemy of boundaries, 700 00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:24,560 Speaker 1: and that's disappointment. Right. The reason that we throw our 701 00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:27,919 Speaker 1: boundaries to the win, we let people mistreat us, walk 702 00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:31,200 Speaker 1: over us, whatever. It is not necessarily big bad words, 703 00:34:31,239 --> 00:34:34,200 Speaker 1: but just situations where we don't have those boundaries in 704 00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:36,440 Speaker 1: places because we don't want to disappoint people. You know, 705 00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:39,920 Speaker 1: maybe we're people pleasers, Maybe we don't like confrontation, maybe 706 00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:43,839 Speaker 1: we don't like awkwardness. Who does? But I think we 707 00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:47,239 Speaker 1: need to realize the power of disappointing people. I know 708 00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:49,000 Speaker 1: it sounds weird that I'm like, you got to go 709 00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:51,719 Speaker 1: out and disappoint people, But I think about growth in life, 710 00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:54,399 Speaker 1: and frankly, I think about the idea of like show 711 00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:57,959 Speaker 1: me the receipts right receipts, or didn't happen if you're 712 00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:02,279 Speaker 1: not disappointing people. Occasionally in life, I struggle to really 713 00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:04,600 Speaker 1: see your growth, Right, I think about my life, like 714 00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:07,080 Speaker 1: the times where I've grown. I'm like, man, I grew 715 00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:10,200 Speaker 1: through that, Like that was a clear example of how 716 00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:12,239 Speaker 1: I grew. It was times where I had to let 717 00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:14,880 Speaker 1: someone down or disappoint someone, whether that was you know, 718 00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:18,279 Speaker 1: a relationship with someone or a business partner or a 719 00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:20,920 Speaker 1: friend or something like that. We need to stand up 720 00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:24,080 Speaker 1: for ourselves. We can say no and still be a kind, loving, 721 00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:28,000 Speaker 1: compassionate person. And I think sometime the key to being like, 722 00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:29,400 Speaker 1: all right, I'm just going to do this. I'm going 723 00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:31,799 Speaker 1: to do this even though it's awkward, even though it's confrontational, 724 00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:35,360 Speaker 1: is realizing that there's power and disappointing other people and 725 00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:37,840 Speaker 1: it's beneficial for both of you. Right, you know, standing 726 00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:39,920 Speaker 1: up for yourself means you're standing up for yourself, but 727 00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:41,879 Speaker 1: it also means you're being honest with someone else. You're 728 00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:44,759 Speaker 1: not biting your tongue because you want to avoid awkwardness. 729 00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:47,799 Speaker 1: So I would say that just like try to like 730 00:35:47,840 --> 00:35:50,440 Speaker 1: close your eyes and zoom out and see the value 731 00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:55,240 Speaker 1: of a boundary, and don't you know, shy away from 732 00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:58,760 Speaker 1: the verb which is necessary, which is disappointment, And maybe, 733 00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:00,480 Speaker 1: you know, try to put yourself in a position to 734 00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:03,160 Speaker 1: really see the upside of it compassionately, both for you 735 00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:05,480 Speaker 1: and whoever you might have to disappoint in your life. 736 00:36:06,239 --> 00:36:11,560 Speaker 2: So powerful that concept of knowing that saying no one 737 00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:14,800 Speaker 2: time doesn't make you a bad person, I think, again 738 00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:18,640 Speaker 2: echoing your sentiments here about disappointment, we just, you know, 739 00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:20,759 Speaker 2: we want to do the best that we can in 740 00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:23,400 Speaker 2: our life to seek and pursue happiness. 741 00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:25,640 Speaker 3: And probably if you're a good person, you know not 742 00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:26,720 Speaker 3: upset others. 743 00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:30,680 Speaker 2: So knowing that saying no does not firmly make you 744 00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:33,560 Speaker 2: a bad person, And that's a hard lesson to learn, 745 00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:35,920 Speaker 2: but once you got it, you'll likely be able to 746 00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:39,160 Speaker 2: better own the power of your own no. 747 00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:42,319 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, no is such a and it's a 748 00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:45,520 Speaker 1: powerful word to exactly what you said, and it's always 749 00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:48,480 Speaker 1: going to be accompanied by self doubt. Oh man, maybe 750 00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:50,440 Speaker 1: I shouldn't have said no. What if I didn't say no? 751 00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:52,880 Speaker 1: So on and so forth. But again, coming back to 752 00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:55,440 Speaker 1: the theme that keeps popping up your pride, If you 753 00:36:55,480 --> 00:37:00,879 Speaker 1: ever say no and it was awkward or embarrassing or confrontational, 754 00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:03,080 Speaker 1: it probably means you did the right thing, because if 755 00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:05,120 Speaker 1: it wasn't, that means you're staying in a comfort zone. 756 00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:08,120 Speaker 1: And we know where comfort zones can lead you. So again, 757 00:37:08,239 --> 00:37:11,319 Speaker 1: just trying to rewire ourselves to see the value of 758 00:37:11,320 --> 00:37:14,280 Speaker 1: discomfort and see that as a foundation for being proud 759 00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:16,319 Speaker 1: of yourself and our goal. I really do think our 760 00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:18,799 Speaker 1: goal should be proud of ourselves. And even if we're 761 00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:20,719 Speaker 1: proud of ourselves, but we still have other things that 762 00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:23,160 Speaker 1: we don't know. I think the more you hone in 763 00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:27,560 Speaker 1: on doing things, saying things that make you proud of yourself, 764 00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:29,560 Speaker 1: the more those other things are going to start to 765 00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:32,200 Speaker 1: become more clear. You know, I think the puzzle pieces 766 00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:32,880 Speaker 1: will come together. 767 00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:36,279 Speaker 3: What are you most looking forward to in the new year? 768 00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:41,080 Speaker 1: Ooh, I would say, I mean practically writing, like I've 769 00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:43,160 Speaker 1: just fallen in love with the process, and you know, 770 00:37:43,239 --> 00:37:45,359 Speaker 1: my ability to do that, I've kind of you know 771 00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:47,640 Speaker 1: this the past couple of years, I was really on 772 00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:50,160 Speaker 1: the edge of who's case Kenny. Is he an entrepreneur? 773 00:37:50,719 --> 00:37:53,600 Speaker 1: Is he an author? Is he an influencer? And the 774 00:37:53,719 --> 00:37:55,200 Speaker 1: answer is I just want to write, and I just want 775 00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:58,160 Speaker 1: to share my love of certain topics with people, and 776 00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:01,719 Speaker 1: also music. I'm leaning more into music for this coming year, 777 00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:04,440 Speaker 1: so i'd say just the ability just to really be 778 00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:09,920 Speaker 1: one hundred percent creative case and to really optimize optimize 779 00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:12,360 Speaker 1: my life around that, and to do it in a 780 00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:16,680 Speaker 1: in a beautiful environment. I'm very very much looking forward 781 00:38:16,719 --> 00:38:18,359 Speaker 1: to continuing to do that. 782 00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:19,480 Speaker 3: Love that. 783 00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:23,000 Speaker 2: All Right, We've got a couple of rapid fires before 784 00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:25,600 Speaker 2: I ask you the final question. We good here, yes, 785 00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:29,680 Speaker 2: so let's do it. First favorite movie of twenty two The. 786 00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:31,640 Speaker 1: Only movie I saw, Okay, the only movie I saw 787 00:38:31,719 --> 00:38:34,040 Speaker 1: in theaters this year was that new murder mystery The 788 00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:37,279 Speaker 1: Onion with Daniel Craig that was in theaters. I saw 789 00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:39,719 Speaker 1: it over over Thanksgiving break with my brother, so I'll 790 00:38:39,760 --> 00:38:40,120 Speaker 1: say that. 791 00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:42,280 Speaker 3: It was seeing. 792 00:38:42,719 --> 00:38:44,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, it was good. I mean, I like a good 793 00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:46,120 Speaker 1: murder mystery and it was clever and I got to 794 00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:48,880 Speaker 1: see you with my brother and that was nice bonding experience. 795 00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:51,080 Speaker 1: What a cheesy yetser. But yeah, I'm like, I don't 796 00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:52,960 Speaker 1: really like do a whole lot of Netflix and stuff, 797 00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:56,480 Speaker 1: so which is good? But yeah, say solid movie? 798 00:38:56,600 --> 00:39:00,680 Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, favorite podcast you added to your rotation this 799 00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:01,840 Speaker 2: year that isn't yours. 800 00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:05,920 Speaker 1: I do have an answer for that one. I would 801 00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:09,239 Speaker 1: say the this is random coming for me because you 802 00:39:09,239 --> 00:39:11,480 Speaker 1: would think that I would say, like self development. I 803 00:39:11,560 --> 00:39:15,200 Speaker 1: like listening to Andrew Schultz and the Flagrant podcast. It's 804 00:39:15,239 --> 00:39:17,719 Speaker 1: just a bunch of comedians chopping it up, but I 805 00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:20,560 Speaker 1: really like it because you have these guys who are comedians. 806 00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:22,759 Speaker 1: They are there to roast each other and talk shit 807 00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:25,040 Speaker 1: and not be serious. But it's really cool to see 808 00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:28,520 Speaker 1: their ability to get serious amidst not being serious. And 809 00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:31,719 Speaker 1: they're men too, and they can get really sensitive and real. 810 00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:34,440 Speaker 1: So I just really like it. It just really inspires me that, 811 00:39:34,680 --> 00:39:37,600 Speaker 1: you know, there's many sides to men, and you could 812 00:39:37,640 --> 00:39:42,080 Speaker 1: be an emotional, loving dude and also you know, you know, 813 00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:43,520 Speaker 1: you can be in touch with your feelings and also 814 00:39:43,560 --> 00:39:45,440 Speaker 1: be a man man and a masculine man. So I 815 00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:46,400 Speaker 1: really like that podcast. 816 00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:51,280 Speaker 2: Any favorite personal podcast episodes that you'd recommend to someone 817 00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:53,120 Speaker 2: who may be new to yours. 818 00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:57,200 Speaker 1: Well, I'm on episode four fifty one, so I've certainly 819 00:39:57,239 --> 00:39:58,000 Speaker 1: done a bunch of this here. 820 00:39:58,080 --> 00:39:58,400 Speaker 3: I don't know. 821 00:39:58,560 --> 00:40:00,680 Speaker 1: I would say listen to episode four four hundred. That 822 00:40:00,760 --> 00:40:03,640 Speaker 1: was kind of my like recap for the year, and 823 00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:06,120 Speaker 1: I basically talked about how I'm leaning into how my 824 00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:09,680 Speaker 1: life feels instead of how it looks kind of similar 825 00:40:09,719 --> 00:40:11,359 Speaker 1: to what we're talking about here, and you know, it's 826 00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:13,560 Speaker 1: a topic I'm very passionate about. It's episode four. 827 00:40:13,440 --> 00:40:15,040 Speaker 3: Hundred, Episode four hundred. 828 00:40:15,120 --> 00:40:18,080 Speaker 2: Okay, do you have a favorite meal from the last year, 829 00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:21,080 Speaker 2: either because the meal was absolutely delicious or the environment 830 00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:22,799 Speaker 2: slash company was outstanding? 831 00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:26,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, I would say, I mean, I would say very specifically, 832 00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:29,640 Speaker 1: there's a restaurant in Chicago called Sunda, which is a 833 00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:32,279 Speaker 1: you know, it's a sushi fusion place, and I'm a 834 00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:37,120 Speaker 1: very simple eater. I'm like a mashed potatoes Midwesterner, but 835 00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:39,719 Speaker 1: there's something special about that place. Like I've had so 836 00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:43,160 Speaker 1: many like firsts there, like from getting into sales and 837 00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:45,960 Speaker 1: taking clients there at my thirtieth birthday to all these 838 00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:49,279 Speaker 1: different things, and it's always just been a meal that 839 00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:53,800 Speaker 1: reminds me of like friendship and growth in those things. 840 00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:56,640 Speaker 1: It's just the smell of it. Anytime I smell that smell, 841 00:40:56,800 --> 00:40:59,000 Speaker 1: like it just takes me back, very nostalgic. So I 842 00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:01,759 Speaker 1: would say that would say that in particular that restaurant 843 00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:03,680 Speaker 1: that answers. 844 00:41:03,320 --> 00:41:05,040 Speaker 3: Your question totally totally. 845 00:41:05,160 --> 00:41:09,920 Speaker 2: And then lastly, any like favorite online or in person 846 00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:13,400 Speaker 2: interactions this year that really stand out there. 847 00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:16,640 Speaker 1: This is just a random one that maybe answers the question. 848 00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:18,880 Speaker 1: I was walking. I previously when I was in Chicago, 849 00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:20,959 Speaker 1: I'd walked around a ton. I live downtown. I would 850 00:41:20,960 --> 00:41:23,000 Speaker 1: take a lot of my little quotes around downtown Chicago 851 00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:25,840 Speaker 1: on Whacker Drive. I would listen to music and just 852 00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:28,240 Speaker 1: walk around kind of as a as a wellness tactic, 853 00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:30,000 Speaker 1: but also just to get pictures and whatnot. And this 854 00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:32,399 Speaker 1: one time this past year, I was walking and this 855 00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:35,000 Speaker 1: woman passed me and she didn't say anything. She just 856 00:41:35,120 --> 00:41:37,920 Speaker 1: waved at me and held up her phone to me, 857 00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:40,120 Speaker 1: and she was listening to my podcast as I walked 858 00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:42,600 Speaker 1: by her. And I just thought that was a really 859 00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:45,680 Speaker 1: cool moment, particularly in Chicago where I have a you know, 860 00:41:45,719 --> 00:41:48,480 Speaker 1: a large following, But it was just cool to see 861 00:41:48,520 --> 00:41:51,759 Speaker 1: the like to see real life in digital converge. I 862 00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:54,319 Speaker 1: think it's very easy to you know, sit online and 863 00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:56,799 Speaker 1: make content and do this and do that and kind 864 00:41:56,800 --> 00:41:59,719 Speaker 1: of disconnect yourself from reality. But it's cool. It's so 865 00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:02,800 Speaker 1: cool to see my ability or anyone's ability to create 866 00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:05,560 Speaker 1: something of value online and see it get out into 867 00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:08,960 Speaker 1: the real world and have people you know, truly benefit 868 00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:11,160 Speaker 1: from it. So I would say that experience and then, 869 00:42:11,239 --> 00:42:13,840 Speaker 1: you know, definitely over the past year, I remember I 870 00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:17,520 Speaker 1: did get one rather startling DM from someone who you know, 871 00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:19,960 Speaker 1: they were sharing their life story and talking about how 872 00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:21,439 Speaker 1: you know, they were on the verge of like hurting 873 00:42:21,480 --> 00:42:23,760 Speaker 1: themselves and you know, having these thoughts, and they listened 874 00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:26,440 Speaker 1: to my podcast and something I said at random and 875 00:42:26,480 --> 00:42:29,080 Speaker 1: offhand comment they you know, they said it saved their life, 876 00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:32,359 Speaker 1: which crazy absurd thing to over hear. But I think 877 00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:34,600 Speaker 1: it just shows the value not of me. It's not 878 00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:37,399 Speaker 1: about me, just the value that we all have as 879 00:42:37,560 --> 00:42:40,799 Speaker 1: regular people to share what's helped us, and we never 880 00:42:40,920 --> 00:42:43,239 Speaker 1: know how it could help someone else, even if we 881 00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:45,680 Speaker 1: think it's such a basic thing, you never know how 882 00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:48,399 Speaker 1: it could help someone else. So, you know, it really 883 00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:51,200 Speaker 1: just inspired me to see the way that our words 884 00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:54,960 Speaker 1: to our fellow humans can be helpful, or not just helpful, 885 00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:58,000 Speaker 1: but life changing in a positive way. So say, between 886 00:42:58,040 --> 00:43:01,439 Speaker 1: those two human those two digit to human interactions, we're 887 00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:02,560 Speaker 1: just really inspiring for me. 888 00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:06,279 Speaker 2: Yeah, And to that point, what you're saying. You never 889 00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:09,640 Speaker 2: know the timing of what you're saying. It could totally 890 00:43:09,680 --> 00:43:12,840 Speaker 2: be something that I've said to myself a thousand times before, 891 00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:15,000 Speaker 2: but to hear someone else say it at just that 892 00:43:15,120 --> 00:43:18,000 Speaker 2: right time can totally make all of the difference. 893 00:43:18,880 --> 00:43:21,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's why I'm not afraid of a good cliche nowadays, 894 00:43:21,400 --> 00:43:23,080 Speaker 1: because I used to be like, oh, I can't say 895 00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:25,399 Speaker 1: you know a certain cliche in the podcast, But now 896 00:43:25,760 --> 00:43:28,840 Speaker 1: I realized that there's truth behind cliche. And sometimes to 897 00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:32,120 Speaker 1: your exact point, you've heard it, you've heard it thirty times, 898 00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:34,840 Speaker 1: but that thirty first time you're like whoa, and something 899 00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:36,680 Speaker 1: clicks and it could be the same for someone else. 900 00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:38,520 Speaker 1: So I really believe. 901 00:43:38,239 --> 00:43:41,440 Speaker 2: In that final question here case right now, you have 902 00:43:41,600 --> 00:43:44,799 Speaker 2: an opportunity, knowing what you know, to offer yourself a 903 00:43:44,840 --> 00:43:49,520 Speaker 2: piece of advice. At the beginning of twenty twenty two, 904 00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:52,640 Speaker 2: what do you tell yourself? 905 00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:56,120 Speaker 1: I would say, in line with what I'm really excited 906 00:43:56,160 --> 00:43:59,160 Speaker 1: to release next year, is just this idea of labels 907 00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:03,240 Speaker 1: we can and not give ourselves labels that are unfair 908 00:44:03,280 --> 00:44:06,920 Speaker 1: to us. That a label like too loud, too quiet, 909 00:44:07,040 --> 00:44:10,000 Speaker 1: to this, to that those are labels that we have 910 00:44:10,200 --> 00:44:12,960 Speaker 1: conditioned ourselves to think are accurate for us, but they 911 00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:15,319 Speaker 1: really are not. And I think the second that we 912 00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:20,040 Speaker 1: can learn to not give ourselves those labels is the 913 00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:22,360 Speaker 1: second that we could actually truly step into what makes 914 00:44:22,520 --> 00:44:24,919 Speaker 1: us great. You know, if we're like, oh, I'm too loud, 915 00:44:24,960 --> 00:44:27,680 Speaker 1: I'm too extra, I'm to this, I'm to that, that's 916 00:44:28,040 --> 00:44:32,880 Speaker 1: not our true selves speaking. That is fear of being judged. 917 00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:36,480 Speaker 1: That's whatever we've learned in the media. That's pain that 918 00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:38,359 Speaker 1: was given to us in the past. And I think 919 00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:41,480 Speaker 1: words are so powerful. And the second that we just 920 00:44:41,760 --> 00:44:46,440 Speaker 1: arbitrarily and as reaction robots assign labels to ourselves, that's 921 00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:48,319 Speaker 1: the second we start to like dull who we really 922 00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:51,080 Speaker 1: are and live in the gray. And I just think 923 00:44:51,120 --> 00:44:53,759 Speaker 1: it really benefits us moving into the new year, just 924 00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:57,480 Speaker 1: blank slate with the labels we give ourselves, both in 925 00:44:57,520 --> 00:45:00,200 Speaker 1: our inner life and in our life, what label we 926 00:45:00,239 --> 00:45:02,080 Speaker 1: think other people are going to give us. And I 927 00:45:02,080 --> 00:45:04,680 Speaker 1: think if we can learn to push back on those, 928 00:45:04,880 --> 00:45:07,400 Speaker 1: we can really lean into what makes us great. I 929 00:45:07,480 --> 00:45:09,680 Speaker 1: used to think I was too sensitive, right, like, who's 930 00:45:09,680 --> 00:45:12,920 Speaker 1: this guy writing quotes about love on the internet? But 931 00:45:12,960 --> 00:45:15,239 Speaker 1: I've leaned into and I realized that's my superpower. But 932 00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:17,480 Speaker 1: if I leaned into that label that I was tempted 933 00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:20,160 Speaker 1: to give myself that people have given me, I never 934 00:45:20,160 --> 00:45:22,160 Speaker 1: would have gotten to this place. And it's just a word. 935 00:45:22,200 --> 00:45:24,320 Speaker 1: It's just one word, and we do it so often. 936 00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:27,520 Speaker 1: So I would just really encourage people, myself included, to 937 00:45:27,680 --> 00:45:30,960 Speaker 1: push back on those words, those labels, and give ourselves 938 00:45:31,040 --> 00:45:33,880 Speaker 1: ones that are more accurate that really give us credit 939 00:45:33,920 --> 00:45:35,880 Speaker 1: for who we are and what we're capable. 940 00:45:35,480 --> 00:45:38,240 Speaker 3: Of, push back on the labels. 941 00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:40,720 Speaker 2: Case so happy that we were able to reconnect again 942 00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:44,040 Speaker 2: for the show. Tell us how do the hurdlers follow 943 00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:46,520 Speaker 2: along with you? What's the name of your upcoming book? 944 00:45:46,640 --> 00:45:47,560 Speaker 2: We want all the info. 945 00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:51,440 Speaker 1: Thank you so much. This is a great time. Frankly, 946 00:45:51,480 --> 00:45:53,839 Speaker 1: it kind of kickstarted my own thinking about the new 947 00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:57,239 Speaker 1: year and looking back. So I appreciate it. Emily, Yeah, 948 00:45:57,280 --> 00:45:59,320 Speaker 1: so I mean for me in case dot canan Instagram 949 00:45:59,440 --> 00:46:03,960 Speaker 1: you mindset whodas podcast. The name of the book is 950 00:46:04,040 --> 00:46:07,120 Speaker 1: That's Bold of You and it's coming out in January. 951 00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:10,720 Speaker 1: It's a book about being bold shocker. So very excited 952 00:46:10,719 --> 00:46:11,959 Speaker 1: for that, and thank you so much. 953 00:46:12,280 --> 00:46:15,160 Speaker 2: I'm am I'm over at Hurdle Podcast and at EMILYA. Boddi, 954 00:46:15,280 --> 00:46:18,040 Speaker 2: another hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next time.