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Speaker 1: Welcome to Jay dot M, a production of I Heart Radio.

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Speaker 1: Ladies and Gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen, you have walked in

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Speaker 1: on a conversation. Okay, you walked in on the conversation

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Speaker 1: with Roy Wood Jr. Okay, your lady on the stats?

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Speaker 1: Would you lay down the stats? I mean, he's the

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Speaker 1: ultimate black man. Y'all mad him? Y'all know it from Alabama.

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Speaker 1: Y'all know every time you turn on Comedy Central, you'll

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Speaker 1: be like, wait, is the man owned Comedy Central? Because

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Speaker 1: he being on all contacts of the day. Uh, y'all

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Speaker 1: know the man got a big stand up coming out

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Speaker 1: October twenty nine. Y'all know the man is funny, but

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Speaker 1: he means what he says and what he says got

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Speaker 1: a lot to do with who we are. And I

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Speaker 1: would say more, but I just want Roy Wood to talk.

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Speaker 1: So Froy Wood Jr. Welcome to J dot M. Well,

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Speaker 1: thank you all for having me. I like, and I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna be honest and this isn't even like me like,

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Speaker 1: shoot no bullshit at y'all. I appre create the space

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Speaker 1: that you all have created where I feel like I

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Speaker 1: could be a little comfortable. I can say some ignorant

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Speaker 1: ship and you can talk about some real ship as well,

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Speaker 1: because you know, you know, sometimes you get on these

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Speaker 1: podcasts and tell us, tell us about Twitter. I love

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Speaker 1: start for you. I understand you were you were a DJ.

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Speaker 1: Like they picked one line from your bio. Interesting, so

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Speaker 1: you started in radio right, you did radio DJ. I'm like, no,

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Speaker 1: that's not what the sing I wish I could see

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Speaker 1: this show. I got to add that to your intro,

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Speaker 1: like Corey were the only prank call radio guy who

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Speaker 1: actually made it to the limps that would listen, you

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Speaker 1: know what, they'll do it. They'll be like, so, I

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Speaker 1: understand you did prank phone calls from two thousand and

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Speaker 1: one and now you're on the Daily Show. Bitch you

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Speaker 1: talking to? Who is you talking to? Sometimes? I do

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Speaker 1: wish you could say that during it in you like,

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Speaker 1: who who are you talking to? Right now? It's it's

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Speaker 1: so wild, but it's it is a blessing to be

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Speaker 1: able to be on the Daily Show and like, I'm

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Speaker 1: thankful that Trevor lets me do some stuff that like

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Speaker 1: speaks to black issues, like because I'm I'm the comedian

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Speaker 1: that's pro black. But you don't realize until after the

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Speaker 1: show and I'd already said everything to you on some

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Speaker 1: on some sneaky and ship like I don't have I

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Speaker 1: don't have the the charisma of Dick Gregory, and I

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Speaker 1: don't have the goal of Paul Mooney to just to

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Speaker 1: just comeing upper cut the motherfucker named mouth out to

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Speaker 1: gate white folks stop up, like I can't do. That's

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Speaker 1: that's the nuance of Negro culture. Yeah, but it's just

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Speaker 1: wilder because you know, when I started, like I was,

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Speaker 1: you know, you're nineteen, you ain't talking about ship. All

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Speaker 1: my els was about my roommates eating my food and

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Speaker 1: all of this stuff. And then as I got into

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Speaker 1: my thirties, and then when I had a child, like

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Speaker 1: you start realizing, I having my son at thirty eight,

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Speaker 1: that I'm forty two, he's five. Do the math, and

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Speaker 1: that's when you start realizing, Okay, this world is fucked.

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Speaker 1: How do I help fix it? What can I do

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Speaker 1: to contribute to that? And I look back at my parents,

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Speaker 1: and you know, my pops was a civil rights journalist.

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Speaker 1: My dad, you know, from the fifties in South African

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Speaker 1: riots and Zimbabwe and Vietnam and Chicago race rides, like

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Speaker 1: all of that ship my pops was there on the

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Speaker 1: front lines and doing news commentary. And it's wild because

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Speaker 1: I look at my career now and it's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm just doing what he was doing. But I'm just

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Speaker 1: trying to be funny, like I at least have the

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Speaker 1: luxury of being able to laugh at some of it,

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Speaker 1: because it wasn't funny to him. Right, So let me

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Speaker 1: explain something. So you had Joyce the educator, and you

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Speaker 1: had a father who was a civil rights and journalist.

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Speaker 1: What's your dad name, roy Wood Senior Morehouse College from

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Speaker 1: and my mom is Florida and m and she was

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Speaker 1: amongst the first black students to integrate Delta State University

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Speaker 1: in Mississippi as well, so white university black and then

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Speaker 1: went to another That's why they made me go to

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Speaker 1: family Like, yo, you want to know some this is

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Speaker 1: some other Jedi mind tricks ship that black college parents do.

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Speaker 1: My senior year in high school, they just put a

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Speaker 1: list of black colleges on the fridge and it was

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Speaker 1: like pick one of them. There was there was no

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Speaker 1: other conversation about what you want to major in? What

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Speaker 1: do you want to I don't think my parents ever

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Speaker 1: really asked me what I wanted to be when I

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Speaker 1: grow up. Like, there was a conversation about an astronaut

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Speaker 1: and middle school that my mama saw how much space

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Speaker 1: camp calls, so she taught me out of it. Everybody

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Speaker 1: wanted to go to space camp after watching that eighties

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Speaker 1: movie about space Kim with the black dude from the

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Speaker 1: ton Yeah. So I ended up at I ended up

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Speaker 1: at Florida in there. Man, that's and you know, that

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Speaker 1: ended up being the right situation for me. But that's

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Speaker 1: kind of where where it all started. It's just as

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Speaker 1: wild because I did morning radio Ricky Smiley. What happened?

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Speaker 1: Ricky Smiley left Birmingham to go to Dallas to start

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Speaker 1: his syndicated joint that he's got today, and I came

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Speaker 1: in behind Rick and I just started co hosting and turning,

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Speaker 1: buying donuts whatever while up on the road. And so

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Speaker 1: I just did that, and then I just did stand

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Speaker 1: up on the road and just every year you get

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Speaker 1: a chance to skip a level approve yourself. I believe

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Speaker 1: pretty much in any whatever the industry is, you get

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Speaker 1: two to three times a year to impress somebody that

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Speaker 1: could help influence you and get you up to the

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Speaker 1: next level. So all you need to do is nail

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Speaker 1: one or two of those opportunities, and so you get

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Speaker 1: enough TV and that grows and it grows and it grows,

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Speaker 1: and then next thing you know, you've got two hour

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Speaker 1: specials in the third on the way. Yeah, yeah, I

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Speaker 1: did radio. Yeah, inspirations of all of us radio people

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Speaker 1: just then inspiration. I love that you were talking about

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Speaker 1: how you you're you're forty two were the same age

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Speaker 1: just for another week though, because I'll be forty three

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Speaker 1: at the end of the week. But oh so you're

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Speaker 1: a little sat looking anyway you can slander us later.

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Speaker 1: I know I'm married to Scorpio. I have been married

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Speaker 1: to one for twenty three years, sir, So I know

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Speaker 1: y Sagittarius to accept marriage? Oh my god, yes, because

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Speaker 1: honey is an I'm close. But just talking about being

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Speaker 1: a father to a little little and then how how

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Speaker 1: that that part of your journey was, you know, really

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Speaker 1: important about how you kind of poached your art and

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Speaker 1: tell us about, like I want to know a little

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Speaker 1: bit more about just some of the great possibilities around

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Speaker 1: being a father at this point in your life, and

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Speaker 1: how that's different from if you had maybe chosen to

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Speaker 1: be a Dad earlier on in the process, like, how

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Speaker 1: how does that work? I think old Dad's got the wisdom.

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Speaker 1: Young Dad's got the time. You know. We're like, I don't.

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Speaker 1: I'm not around as much. Like it's it's high tight

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Speaker 1: low tip right. We're like, if I'm prepping for an hour,

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Speaker 1: there's a four there's a four month run where I'm

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Speaker 1: gone consistently three to four days a week. And that

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Speaker 1: ship was cute when he was two and three, and

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Speaker 1: now he's five. So I'm missing ship, and I don't

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Speaker 1: want to miss ship. So it's about capitalizing on the

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Speaker 1: time we have together. So I try to be a

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Speaker 1: lot more intentional when I'm in town, to the point

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Speaker 1: where like, and it's embarrassing to say, but I have

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Speaker 1: to make sure that because I'm so default me, like,

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Speaker 1: you're so default selfish by the time in your late

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Speaker 1: thirties you have a kid, you have to go, oh

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Speaker 1: nah on me got karate on Thursday, he got tennis

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Speaker 1: on Friday. I'm gonna pull up because he needs to

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Speaker 1: at least see me there every now and then, because

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Speaker 1: I think that helps, you know a little bit. The

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Speaker 1: thing that I struggle with though, and this is kind

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Speaker 1: of I guess where wisdom comes into play. And I

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Speaker 1: think this is where I'm better than being at a

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Speaker 1: younger as a younger father, is that you've had time

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Speaker 1: to really evaluate how you were raised and what was

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Speaker 1: good or bad. Because the first thing that I, at

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Speaker 1: least I ain't speak everybody when I had my when

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Speaker 1: I had my son, the first thing I did was

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Speaker 1: audited every relationship, every interaction I had with my father,

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Speaker 1: and then after my father, every interaction with grown men

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Speaker 1: after that. My dad died when I was sixteen in

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Speaker 1: high school, so he was one of them cats in

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Speaker 1: the streets a little bit. I'll say that from a

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Speaker 1: work standpoint set a great example from a father's standpoint.

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Speaker 1: There a couple of holes. So you start figuring out,

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Speaker 1: all right, well, how do I fix that? How do

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Speaker 1: I close that hole and make sure that that that

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Speaker 1: doesn't continue? You know, like it's weird when you're black

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Speaker 1: and you have some level of success where you're essentially

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Speaker 1: the cycle breaker and your family and that's ship with

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Speaker 1: no fucking hand, But do that ship? Dog? Come on?

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Speaker 1: How do you? How do you? How do you fix that?

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Speaker 1: And then it also exposed traumas I didn't even know

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Speaker 1: I had with my pops until I had a kid,

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Speaker 1: because you don't even realize the you don't realize the

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Speaker 1: holes that your parents had until you have a kid,

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Speaker 1: and then you're trying to plug You're trying to do

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Speaker 1: this like it's like, oh, fuck, he wasn't there. He

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Speaker 1: missed that? Well fuck yeah, well wait a minute. Can't

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Speaker 1: be mad at him right now? With the boy, I

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Speaker 1: gotta be happy because I'm like something as simple as

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Speaker 1: playing catch with my son. I took my son. I

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Speaker 1: don't know if he'll stick with it. He seemed like

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Speaker 1: he hate the ship, but I took him to baseball

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Speaker 1: camp over the I don't think he's gonna stick with

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Speaker 1: this ship. But just the act of playing catch with

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Speaker 1: my son something I've never experienced conversely with my own father,

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Speaker 1: and it sucked me up for a second, more real

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Speaker 1: talk after the break. Have you also done into why

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Speaker 1: your father wasn't that way? Did you know your grandfather

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Speaker 1: and what kind of father your grandfather was? No, So

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Speaker 1: let me tell you how COVID was a blessing. I

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Speaker 1: did finding your roots um last year well over the

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Speaker 1: old skip gates. Oh you made it, congratulations because it

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Speaker 1: was COVID and most of the people he wanted was

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Speaker 1: too scared to get on the plane. I was like,

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Speaker 1: we gotta get some local celebrities. I know, I was

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Speaker 1: far down the listen, listen, I'm aware of my star

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Speaker 1: staff and I am not at the top of let's

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Speaker 1: see where he's from. But it's COVID. So you gotta

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Speaker 1: funk with me and the right one perfect time in

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Speaker 1: a way that you don't even know. I understand you,

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Speaker 1: deep deep deep down to the ball does ps Now.

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Speaker 1: I will go back and watch that episode because I

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Speaker 1: don't be watching. It really opened me up too, because

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Speaker 1: I only have one living grandparents. I'm closer to my

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Speaker 1: mom's side to my dad's side. I've only met two

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Speaker 1: relatives on my dad's side outside of half siblings period,

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Speaker 1: full stop. In my entire life, I never met grandparents

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Speaker 1: and my aunt's cousins. None of them don't know him.

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Speaker 1: I get it. I get a Facebook message from a

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Speaker 1: wood about once every seven and eight years. I'll give

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Speaker 1: them credit. They don't even hit me up for money,

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Speaker 1: Like that's how much I don't talk. Amen, Amen. But

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Speaker 1: the ones that I know, they've told me everything they

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Speaker 1: could tell me. And so there was this so skip

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Speaker 1: told me this thing. I don't even think he made

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Speaker 1: it in the show, but this is what sucked me up,

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Speaker 1: and this is what like reconstituted everything with me and

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Speaker 1: my father. My father walked with a limp his whole life.

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Speaker 1: He had a hit replacement when he was thirteen. So

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Speaker 1: he's walking to girl home from school. This isn't funny,

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Speaker 1: but it's kind. He's walking to girl home from school

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Speaker 1: like his crush or whatever the fun. And let's just

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Speaker 1: say he's a sophomore in high school and one of

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Speaker 1: them singers with the varsity jackets comes over and pulls

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Speaker 1: my father's girl just straight on some I just took

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Speaker 1: your chick, nigga, What what you gonna do? Come with me, baby,

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Speaker 1: get away from them, and she fucking left. She left

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Speaker 1: with another man in front of my dad. My dad's

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Speaker 1: crushed walked off with another dude. They go to W's

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Speaker 1: the street and she dropped a book or something normalless

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Speaker 1: she dropped something, and my father, being a gentleman or

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Speaker 1: whatever the fun, goes out into the street to get

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Speaker 1: her book to give it back to her, and he

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Speaker 1: gets hit by a car shatters his hip right there.

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Speaker 1: So that right there what I figure is that is

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Speaker 1: what my father carried with him for the rest of

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Speaker 1: his life, and that informed his relationship, perception of women,

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Speaker 1: and his perception of how to treat women. Of course,

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Speaker 1: that bitch. So when you start looking at unpacked trauma,

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Speaker 1: I'm going, Oh, that motherfucker never went to therapy. I mean,

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Speaker 1: what is therapy? Then? What is therapy to a baby boomer? Truthfully? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: like what I'm saying. So when you look at that,

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Speaker 1: it re it reconstituted a lot of everything. Also from

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Speaker 1: finding your roots, I learned that my father lost his

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Speaker 1: father when he was four years old. To this day,

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Speaker 1: nobody knows how he left and never came home. In Georgia,

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Speaker 1: we already know that's a legion and this is this

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Speaker 1: is um nineteen, late twenties, early thirties, Georgia. And then

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Speaker 1: they moved to Chicago. So it was never discussed in

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Speaker 1: our family. How he died was never discussed, who he

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Speaker 1: was was never discussed. And so and then I started thinking,

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Speaker 1: on the fucking show, I go, well, who the fund

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Speaker 1: did his mama date after him? Who were his role models,

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Speaker 1: who were his examples? Who and I had and I

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Speaker 1: to this day and I will die never knowing the

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Speaker 1: answer to that question. So when you find out that

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Speaker 1: type of ship, you got a grade a little bit

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Speaker 1: of it on the curve, And it made it easier

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Speaker 1: for me to go into fatherhood without a chip on

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Speaker 1: my shoulder. Yes, because everybody, because at first you one

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Speaker 1: had a chip. And and how do you deal with

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Speaker 1: being mad at of motherfucker has been dead since? Ain't

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Speaker 1: nothing you can do right there, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: So you just gotta go your father. Some people can

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Speaker 1: do that. I love how you discussed this in terms

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Speaker 1: of the generational trauma aspect, and would really stick out

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Speaker 1: to me is when you talked about how sharing a

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Speaker 1: beautiful moment with your child actually is a trigger for you.

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Speaker 1: So I think that's a real important peace for parents

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Speaker 1: and just for people in general. How a joyous occasion

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Speaker 1: if it was absent somehow in your life, that even

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Speaker 1: though you're in the moment, that you can actually be

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Speaker 1: experiencing joy and deep pain at the same time. Jealousy, listen,

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Speaker 1: and easy, very easy to self sabotage because you're not

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Speaker 1: accustomed to the joy. It's like, how how dare I

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Speaker 1: be heavy? My daddy wasn't happy? You know, but or

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Speaker 1: or my child or how is it fair that my

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Speaker 1: child gets something that I didn't I didn't get. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I bet myself. Where people deliberately deny their kids stuff

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Speaker 1: because they didn't get it and they think they turned

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Speaker 1: out fine. It's like, now, you turned out okay in

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Speaker 1: spite of it, but maybe don't give him a hug

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Speaker 1: like the thing. My advice to anybody though, that's like

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Speaker 1: dealing with that type of ship. The what I found

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Speaker 1: most that I enjoy find if you got a parent

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Speaker 1: that you got head beef with or still have beef with,

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Speaker 1: figure out the one thing that you enjoyed with them

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Speaker 1: and do that with your child, and then you'll feel

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Speaker 1: connected to your parents in a positive way. So the

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Speaker 1: best experiences I ever had with my father were traveling.

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Speaker 1: I cannot tell you where we were going. I cannot

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Speaker 1: tell you that that's none of that ship, but in

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Speaker 1: the car, on the train, and the plane, just being

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Speaker 1: in that space, because that's when he was the most

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Speaker 1: normal and the most base level, and I got the

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Speaker 1: most regular interaction out of him that wasn't like tense.

294
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Speaker 1: I remember the year before he died, I got my

295
00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:18,800
Speaker 1: learners permit at fifteen and my pops was doing his

296
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Speaker 1: jazz show on commentary show. But at this point the

297
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Speaker 1: cancer was kind of starting to creep up on him.

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Speaker 1: So he's he's losing strength, but still strong enough to

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Speaker 1: do radio. He was doing a morning news show at

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Speaker 1: Alabama State. So every Saturday morning I would drive him

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Speaker 1: to Montgomery because for me it was oh, I get

302
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Speaker 1: to drive on the freeway, and for him it was oh,

303
00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:42,520
Speaker 1: I gotta show for It was perfect. So every Saturday,

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Speaker 1: for you know, our up our back, we was in

305
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Speaker 1: the car and I just remember, I just remember fifteen

306
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Speaker 1: hour car rides to Chicago, like I just those things.

307
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Speaker 1: Like my dad. Before we moved to Birmingham, my mom

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Speaker 1: and I was still living in Memphis. It's like second grade,

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Speaker 1: and my dad was coming back and forth like every

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Speaker 1: weekend to see us. And he had a fucking CB

311
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Speaker 1: radio in his car, and he taught me how to

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Speaker 1: talk to truckers and we would just ride down how

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Speaker 1: are we seventy eight? Back to Birmingham and just talk

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Speaker 1: to strangers on a fucking radio. And I thought it

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Speaker 1: was the coolest, wildest sucking thing. And that's that's low

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Speaker 1: kis prank call one point oh, because you're just working,

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Speaker 1: talking to strangers and ship. So so with my boy.

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Speaker 1: You know, this is a stupid thing to brag about,

319
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Speaker 1: but I am very proud of it. My son is

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Speaker 1: a gold status flyer with Delta Wow. He has his

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Speaker 1: own You're traveling dog train. We're getting on this train.

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Speaker 1: We're ridding all over New York City. We're gonna take

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Speaker 1: this ferry and just do loops back and forth to

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Speaker 1: Staten Island with no destination. Like we're taking the amtrack

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Speaker 1: down south twenty eight hours in a sleep pecar. Because

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Speaker 1: to me here some of that ship he'll remember. You

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Speaker 1: might not remember playing catch, but you're gonna remember twenty

328
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Speaker 1: eight hours on a shaky ass and track. You ain't

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Speaker 1: gonna forget that. So those moments and it's gonna balance

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Speaker 1: out those things that see every child, I don't care

331
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Speaker 1: how intentional the parrot, every child gonna have a great

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Speaker 1: and that eight hours that's gonna balance out the great.

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Speaker 1: Feel me, I was thinking the same thing's gonna be

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Speaker 1: a barely traveler to everybody. Forgive me. I don't mean

335
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,440
Speaker 1: the mama talk to you, but I got a whole

336
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Speaker 1: two year old so baby. When he pulled out the

337
00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:41,000
Speaker 1: conversation on the ship. I didn't do right as I

338
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:44,959
Speaker 1: don't talk to Who are you talking to? You're not

339
00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:48,320
Speaker 1: talking to me? Is this some mother broad in the room.

340
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Speaker 1: That's your mother? I don't. I don't know who you're

341
00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:55,760
Speaker 1: talking to, but I love. What's wild is that I've

342
00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:58,800
Speaker 1: gotten um. So we don't whip my child. I got

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Speaker 1: whipped until the grade when my mom figured out that

344
00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:10,480
Speaker 1: psychological punishment is better than physical. And so when like

345
00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:12,679
Speaker 1: I don't know, my son was three or something, and

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00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:14,640
Speaker 1: my mom was telling him like, don't don't do that.

347
00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:17,600
Speaker 1: Don't do that, boy, and she was like faking like

348
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Speaker 1: she was gonna hit im, like a mama, we don't

349
00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:21,800
Speaker 1: even raise hands. We can't even I don't do that,

350
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:25,840
Speaker 1: and start walking through why we thought that and all

351
00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:27,800
Speaker 1: of that ship, and it was fine. And then one

352
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:31,040
Speaker 1: day out the blue, like years later, like like two

353
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Speaker 1: three years later, my mama just came up to me,

354
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Speaker 1: one day, you okay, inspite of what happened up the boy.

355
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Speaker 1: She thought I wasn't whipping the boy because of some

356
00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:51,000
Speaker 1: ship that happened to me. And I'm like, no, Mama,

357
00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:53,320
Speaker 1: mask wasn't was justified. We almost got a victor. Because

358
00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:59,000
Speaker 1: I almost burned down the comp up that justified as Oh,

359
00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:01,840
Speaker 1: she probably felt so much. Said, I just say, we

360
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:04,159
Speaker 1: read some ship and we just want to try something differently.

361
00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:06,240
Speaker 1: Because the thing about whipping your child, you can always

362
00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:09,200
Speaker 1: start it, like if he's fifteen, I can just swing

363
00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:13,160
Speaker 1: on him. Let's see, let's see what happens without the whippings,

364
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:16,040
Speaker 1: and let's see how far we can go with this.

365
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:19,639
Speaker 1: And if he's still wilding, then I'll beat your glass

366
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Speaker 1: because you're still a black man. Yes, I do, because

367
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Speaker 1: that's the beauty of being forty to having a child.

368
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,719
Speaker 1: See you got the wisdom, you know. I have to

369
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Speaker 1: say that the conversations before the spankings were much worse

370
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Speaker 1: than the actual spankings. The conversations like please beat me,

371
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Speaker 1: because you made me feel like I know I was wrong.

372
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Speaker 1: Please beat me? Only got a couple. I got about

373
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Speaker 1: four good ones. And then after that I was remember mom,

374
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Speaker 1: and she was two feet shorter, just swinging up. My

375
00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:02,680
Speaker 1: mom was as cold with it. My mom would take

376
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Speaker 1: my Nintendo tapes but leave the Nintendo in my room,

377
00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:11,480
Speaker 1: so I just stare at it. Yeah, yeah, that's educator

378
00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:14,320
Speaker 1: for a mother, right there. Is She would take my

379
00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:17,880
Speaker 1: baseball glove. And she knew that I had the type

380
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:21,520
Speaker 1: of coaches where if you show up without your glove,

381
00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:25,119
Speaker 1: you run the entire practice. You don't get to You

382
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:29,400
Speaker 1: did not bring stuff to play baseball, so you don't

383
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:31,480
Speaker 1: get to play baseball. So you're gonna run. And so

384
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:34,040
Speaker 1: my mama knew if if she took my glove, I

385
00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:38,240
Speaker 1: just had to run. Other people do to work. Yeah,

386
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:41,080
Speaker 1: So for two hours every day in the Alabama heat

387
00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:46,560
Speaker 1: from three thirty pm, Tom, I'm running. We love your

388
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:52,320
Speaker 1: mom that you won't do that again. She wouldn't give it,

389
00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:54,800
Speaker 1: and she wouldn't give it to me. That's a wonderful

390
00:22:54,920 --> 00:23:01,199
Speaker 1: choice she hit with that. I know what to do

391
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:05,080
Speaker 1: with you, sir. Yo. With black kids, man, you can't

392
00:23:05,359 --> 00:23:07,600
Speaker 1: you threaten to tell their coach. That's worse than telling

393
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:12,119
Speaker 1: their dad. I had no want your suicides and whatnot.

394
00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:18,480
Speaker 1: I understand. Now we're gonna take a quick break and

395
00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:30,800
Speaker 1: then we'll be right back. We all know there's a

396
00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:34,120
Speaker 1: whole lot of implications around black children and discipline, and

397
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:36,639
Speaker 1: I think everybody on this call is aware of the

398
00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:38,840
Speaker 1: ways that we are as a community trying to really

399
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:42,560
Speaker 1: work through how that looks now I know I had

400
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:45,440
Speaker 1: to do it. But the point is we know that

401
00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:49,160
Speaker 1: we're having different conversations with ourselves about these kinds of things.

402
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:51,560
Speaker 1: But it doesn't mean that everything we learned was wrong.

403
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:55,280
Speaker 1: It just means that we're doing what we're doing with

404
00:23:55,320 --> 00:24:00,719
Speaker 1: a consideration around things that our parents didn't consider and

405
00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:04,560
Speaker 1: we're geting space. Yeah, we're giving space for things that

406
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:06,959
Speaker 1: they didn't give space for or that they didn't know

407
00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:09,959
Speaker 1: to give space for. So that's and didn't have time.

408
00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:13,639
Speaker 1: They not have the time to give space for. Everybody

409
00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:15,600
Speaker 1: write that down so you don't keep offending your parents

410
00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:17,520
Speaker 1: because they're like, so everything I taught you that ain't

411
00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:19,639
Speaker 1: no good in the mother I was, I baby. My

412
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:22,760
Speaker 1: mom never spake to me. I I received maybe one

413
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:26,760
Speaker 1: physical interaction with my mother when I was fourteen, and

414
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:31,320
Speaker 1: I did deserve it. But how how did discipline happened

415
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:32,960
Speaker 1: in the house? Because I'm sure that wasn't the only

416
00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:36,840
Speaker 1: Oh no, that wasn't It wasn't the only whipple bull offence.

417
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:39,960
Speaker 1: But truthfully, my mom literally just talked to me a lot.

418
00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:43,960
Speaker 1: She had a relationship with us that she was actually

419
00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:47,680
Speaker 1: be rated for. We we really did have a friendship.

420
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:50,680
Speaker 1: She just talked to us a lot, and it wasn't

421
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:54,119
Speaker 1: even like a situation where she had to say anything

422
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:57,640
Speaker 1: particular to us other than that these are my expectations,

423
00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:00,000
Speaker 1: and like this is how things are going to work

424
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:02,439
Speaker 1: around here. Like if you don't do this, it's not

425
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:04,520
Speaker 1: gonna work for you, it's not gonna work for me.

426
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:06,639
Speaker 1: And let me just say this. I tried this with

427
00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:09,520
Speaker 1: I have six children. I tried this with my children.

428
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:14,680
Speaker 1: It worked with three out of six numbers. It worked

429
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:19,200
Speaker 1: with bad at all. I had to shift it adjust

430
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:22,320
Speaker 1: with the other three. So, like I say this again,

431
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:26,679
Speaker 1: our parents be onto something. It's just a matter of

432
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:29,600
Speaker 1: us kind of figure out what works for our children

433
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:33,679
Speaker 1: and giving ourselves, let's say, like a nice little shark

434
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:39,119
Speaker 1: cutie plate of things to choose from in order, what right,

435
00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:41,680
Speaker 1: in order for what we're gonna do to to help

436
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:44,840
Speaker 1: them learn and understand consequences. Man, I thought it with

437
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:56,240
Speaker 1: Chakudi Chicuni plate. I love it. Chacudi so good. My

438
00:25:56,280 --> 00:26:00,359
Speaker 1: girl though, and watching how she interacts with that child,

439
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:04,399
Speaker 1: she has far more compassion than me. And I know,

440
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:08,400
Speaker 1: like that's something that I just generally did not receive

441
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:12,879
Speaker 1: growing up. And I know, hang on because I know

442
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:15,280
Speaker 1: one of you folks in Birmingham is listening right now,

443
00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:17,600
Speaker 1: and you're gonna take this clip and send it to

444
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:20,119
Speaker 1: my mom and snitch and say that I said that

445
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:22,600
Speaker 1: my mama didn't love me. And that's not what I'm

446
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:29,280
Speaker 1: sucking saying, right Yo. When I start talking about family

447
00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:31,760
Speaker 1: on these podcasts, it gets back to my mom. I'm

448
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:33,480
Speaker 1: just telling you right now. So I have to be

449
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:40,720
Speaker 1: very specific about my mom showed love through action and

450
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:42,879
Speaker 1: providing me because she was always working, and she was

451
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:45,879
Speaker 1: always in grad school or law school or a master's degree,

452
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:48,040
Speaker 1: something that kept her out until eight pm, and I

453
00:26:48,119 --> 00:26:52,880
Speaker 1: was a latch key. I never felt unloved with my son.

454
00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:56,399
Speaker 1: What I noticed in watching his interactions with his mama,

455
00:26:57,359 --> 00:26:58,919
Speaker 1: I see my girl walking to room with him and

456
00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:01,400
Speaker 1: hold him, and that you a different child to her

457
00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:04,000
Speaker 1: than he is to me. So on the nights where

458
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:06,800
Speaker 1: I am stern with her, stern with him, I have

459
00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:08,960
Speaker 1: to do what she does after the fact and kind

460
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:16,120
Speaker 1: of come back in, all right, you won't, you won't

461
00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:18,080
Speaker 1: watch something you know you're not a black black mama

462
00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:19,720
Speaker 1: beach and then go you want send me. I have

463
00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:23,280
Speaker 1: to do the equivalent, which for me at our house.

464
00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:24,919
Speaker 1: After I've been stern with him and put him in

465
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:26,960
Speaker 1: time out and he's cried, I have to come back

466
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:30,280
Speaker 1: in this room. Uh, you want to watch munster truck

467
00:27:30,359 --> 00:27:35,600
Speaker 1: racing in the count to make sure that he feels

468
00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:41,080
Speaker 1: like physical love, like an embrace of a man. I

469
00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:43,000
Speaker 1: didn't wonder that, So I don't even know how to

470
00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:47,720
Speaker 1: do it. But all right, I've watched enough episodes of

471
00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:56,920
Speaker 1: black Woke, the shows US whatever. Yes, yes, I support

472
00:27:56,960 --> 00:28:02,520
Speaker 1: black creators. Black crea. Meant to say wrong and feel

473
00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:04,400
Speaker 1: it in Sorry, y'all, I didn't mean to say that.

474
00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:08,280
Speaker 1: But so it's things like that where I'm trying to

475
00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:12,240
Speaker 1: do things that I never got and you're trying to

476
00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:15,160
Speaker 1: almost in a way, you're doing your impersonation of what

477
00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:18,960
Speaker 1: you think a good parent is because it's not your default,

478
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:22,800
Speaker 1: you know. But I'm happy to do it like you

479
00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:24,480
Speaker 1: just you have to put a hat on like it's

480
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:26,520
Speaker 1: a job. This is the job requirement if I don't

481
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:30,399
Speaker 1: want him going around hidden, And I also want him

482
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:32,639
Speaker 1: to know that it's okay to be in his feelings

483
00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:34,399
Speaker 1: and feel a certain way, like that's the one thing.

484
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:36,880
Speaker 1: Oh my god, my girl's great at that ship. Sure,

485
00:28:37,119 --> 00:28:39,560
Speaker 1: it's okay to feel that way, and when you feel better,

486
00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:42,800
Speaker 1: come back in the room and let us and when

487
00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:45,320
Speaker 1: you're ready to be around people, get like it's that

488
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:49,800
Speaker 1: ship where I'm like, if you don't requine and doing

489
00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:54,400
Speaker 1: out of here, but they're doing it. That's my default.

490
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:56,640
Speaker 1: My default is get the funk on out of here

491
00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:59,760
Speaker 1: with that wine. But she goes go away and feel

492
00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:02,960
Speaker 1: that it's okay, and you can return when you don't

493
00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:09,240
Speaker 1: feel that way. There's two ways. If they had the

494
00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:12,600
Speaker 1: combination in the parent unit. I'm so glad that the

495
00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:18,000
Speaker 1: gag is the approaches. One thing. Ship still could go left,

496
00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:24,440
Speaker 1: like right, like Angel was saying earlier, all the things

497
00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:27,000
Speaker 1: that we're attempting to do with our children and trying

498
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:29,959
Speaker 1: to be better people, you know, being wokeity, you know,

499
00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:32,719
Speaker 1: or attempting to be you know, like, the ship can

500
00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:37,080
Speaker 1: still go left. It's like everybody's gonna need therapy. Period.

501
00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:40,000
Speaker 1: It could. But at the same time, because you life,

502
00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:45,040
Speaker 1: life goes left, right you therapy, Yeah, you can't. You're

503
00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:47,120
Speaker 1: still a good daughter. But you're still a good daughter.

504
00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:52,680
Speaker 1: Sometimes that's okay. Sometimes you know, I still you know,

505
00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:55,240
Speaker 1: I still struggle with some things, you know, like I

506
00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:57,480
Speaker 1: told you guys like my mom really stopped working it

507
00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:00,400
Speaker 1: when I was fourteen, and it forced need to be

508
00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:02,400
Speaker 1: an adult. It forced me to go to work and

509
00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:06,720
Speaker 1: pay bills and figure stuff out. And that I that's

510
00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:09,960
Speaker 1: probably why I work so much, probably why I have

511
00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:14,880
Speaker 1: so many jobs. But what I the difference I'll say

512
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:19,120
Speaker 1: with my kid is that I realized how important our

513
00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:23,680
Speaker 1: quality time is and how is the little stuff is

514
00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:27,320
Speaker 1: the walks, it's the you know, it's playing records in

515
00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:30,560
Speaker 1: the library and you know, talking about music because that's

516
00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:34,080
Speaker 1: what he loves to do, you know, so going places

517
00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:36,240
Speaker 1: that he wants to go. That that's you know, a

518
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:39,640
Speaker 1: soul of balancing act. Really really, So let me ask

519
00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:44,360
Speaker 1: you a question since you're further down the parenting assembly

520
00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:48,280
Speaker 1: lined in me. I have a similar outlook on work

521
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:52,920
Speaker 1: so my father. In times where my parents were arguing

522
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:55,840
Speaker 1: about money, I chose to work because I didn't want

523
00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:58,080
Speaker 1: to be the child to bug them for ten dollars

524
00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:01,360
Speaker 1: for the field trip or the thirty dollars for the

525
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:06,840
Speaker 1: Nintendo tape or whatever. So so I started working at fourteen.

526
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:11,880
Speaker 1: I would rake yards around the neighborhood ten dollars front yard,

527
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:15,720
Speaker 1: fifteen front and back. And that rolled into selling sodas

528
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:19,960
Speaker 1: at at Alabama games and basking Robbins and Subway, and

529
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:23,600
Speaker 1: I worked at like just always two jobs while still

530
00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:26,280
Speaker 1: going to class and to the point where my mom

531
00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:28,479
Speaker 1: would kind of give me a little bit of ease

532
00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:31,240
Speaker 1: on being a C student. Then when my pop stopped

533
00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:33,200
Speaker 1: my seeing my dad was one of them. My my

534
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:36,040
Speaker 1: daddy was so black. He didn't pay taxes because the

535
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:38,280
Speaker 1: black man didn't have a right to vote. That was

536
00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:43,960
Speaker 1: going to expire whatever whatever. So my daddy said and

537
00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:46,560
Speaker 1: tell us a law, I'm not paying taxes. So when

538
00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:49,680
Speaker 1: my daddy died, the I R S said, we're gonna

539
00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:55,239
Speaker 1: need his house. We're gonna need to get all them cars, right,

540
00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:59,160
Speaker 1: give them cars about it. So I had to work

541
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:01,520
Speaker 1: to help my mom the lights on my senior year.

542
00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:05,360
Speaker 1: So when I started doing stand up, I knew what

543
00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:07,800
Speaker 1: it was like like. Being broke didn't scare me anymore

544
00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:10,800
Speaker 1: because I had been without and I knew how to hustle.

545
00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:15,760
Speaker 1: So that was always the constant thing, like even now

546
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:18,200
Speaker 1: to this day, when the pandemic hit. Yeah, I'm on

547
00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:20,920
Speaker 1: the Daily Show, but oh ship, you're telling me there's

548
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:23,600
Speaker 1: a world out there where comedy clubs could be no

549
00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:27,360
Speaker 1: longer exist. I bet I'm gonna get this our special together.

550
00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:30,560
Speaker 1: I'm gonna start to fucking podcasts. I'm gonna sucking sell

551
00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:34,960
Speaker 1: two shows. I'm a right like, my brain just started

552
00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:39,760
Speaker 1: fucking going dog. And now I have this child, and

553
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:43,680
Speaker 1: I have to decide how do you teach it? Because

554
00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:46,760
Speaker 1: the thing that you can't teach my I got to

555
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:48,560
Speaker 1: give credit to my homie Tommy John again for this.

556
00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:51,800
Speaker 1: How do you teach poverty to a child that doesn't

557
00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:53,520
Speaker 1: grow up in it? How do you give them that hunger?

558
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:56,320
Speaker 1: Because I don't know if I want my kids to work,

559
00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:59,000
Speaker 1: but I know that part of my values and part

560
00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:02,520
Speaker 1: of my character came from working. It's also the only

561
00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:04,600
Speaker 1: time you get to be around adults who don't have

562
00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:09,160
Speaker 1: governance over you, So you get to interact with with

563
00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:11,800
Speaker 1: grown folks and really see how the world. Like I

564
00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:14,280
Speaker 1: really think everybody should work in a restaurant. At some

565
00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:17,080
Speaker 1: point you seventeen, you're working with thirty eight year old

566
00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:21,280
Speaker 1: men and veterans and old pie It's just every possible

567
00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:24,120
Speaker 1: type of person you'll meet in this world comes through

568
00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:28,360
Speaker 1: a restaurant. And so I don't know how to put

569
00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:31,960
Speaker 1: that in my boy without it being something that feels

570
00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:35,000
Speaker 1: forced or whatever. Like, you know, how do you teach

571
00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:37,360
Speaker 1: them the value of work but not want them to

572
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:41,040
Speaker 1: become a workaholic. I can give you this one perspective.

573
00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:45,520
Speaker 1: I'm sure Asia has six. Uh, I can give you

574
00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:48,280
Speaker 1: this one. I'm pretty sure that I've mentioned this on

575
00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:51,760
Speaker 1: the podcast at least once before, but I think it's

576
00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:55,000
Speaker 1: a really good choice to use your fuse box. That's

577
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:58,280
Speaker 1: exactly what it is. To use that. When you're going

578
00:33:58,360 --> 00:34:01,200
Speaker 1: to leave, and you're son knows that you're gonna leave,

579
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:03,320
Speaker 1: and he doesn't want you to, You're gonna have to

580
00:34:03,320 --> 00:34:06,600
Speaker 1: make a hard choice and don't leave. I know, don't

581
00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:10,520
Speaker 1: leave or turn that fuse box off everything except your

582
00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:12,560
Speaker 1: refrigerator because you don't want your food to go bad

583
00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:16,440
Speaker 1: and spend the day with no electricity whatsoever. And when

584
00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:19,759
Speaker 1: it's time to eat, you eat cold sandwiches. When it's

585
00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:22,080
Speaker 1: time to watch a movie, you get already for it,

586
00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:25,319
Speaker 1: but the TV doesn't work. If he wants to play

587
00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:28,120
Speaker 1: a video game or something, so get all ready for it,

588
00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:30,840
Speaker 1: but the t but it doesn't come on. By the

589
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:33,840
Speaker 1: time the end of the night was up, and it

590
00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:37,760
Speaker 1: was candles everywhere. My son, you know, he said, Mommy,

591
00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:41,080
Speaker 1: we can't the pool is cold, the TV doesn't work.

592
00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:44,960
Speaker 1: We we ate sandwiches for dinner. You know why why

593
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,560
Speaker 1: can't we do the stuff that we like to do.

594
00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:51,440
Speaker 1: I said, well, mommy doesn't work, I can't pay for electricity.

595
00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:55,560
Speaker 1: I like that when you make it tangible for them,

596
00:34:56,320 --> 00:35:01,759
Speaker 1: they can understand that one thing begat to another. And

597
00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:04,319
Speaker 1: when I work, I can buy you clothes. I can

598
00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:06,240
Speaker 1: buy your shoes. I could take you to the places.

599
00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:09,800
Speaker 1: I could do the things when I don't, I can't.

600
00:35:10,160 --> 00:35:12,120
Speaker 1: It made it really tangible for him. And he asked

601
00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:13,799
Speaker 1: me to go to work tomorrow. Can you go to

602
00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:19,840
Speaker 1: work tomorrow, Maria, Yes, I can, Yes, I can. So

603
00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:23,759
Speaker 1: do you what you want him to work? If he

604
00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:28,000
Speaker 1: came home and said I had a job, yes, well

605
00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:30,359
Speaker 1: that's a whole conversation because we we talked about poop

606
00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:33,360
Speaker 1: putts and that is that is like a great fear

607
00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:37,560
Speaker 1: for I think for a lot of black women, black man.

608
00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:42,120
Speaker 1: If you do not want your shall your your son

609
00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:45,160
Speaker 1: to grow up to be a pool putt leaving on

610
00:35:45,239 --> 00:35:48,080
Speaker 1: the you know, sleeping in the basement, talking about kennis girl,

611
00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:50,759
Speaker 1: spending night you know, come on, I borrow the car

612
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:53,000
Speaker 1: all that ship? Do? You don't want that? You want

613
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:55,479
Speaker 1: someone to who you know, supposed to raise these people

614
00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:58,000
Speaker 1: so they could fly, you know, and be self sufficient

615
00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:01,200
Speaker 1: and have a desire for some thing that can afford

616
00:36:01,239 --> 00:36:03,439
Speaker 1: them the kind of lifestyle that they want to have

617
00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:07,200
Speaker 1: to wait and most most of us want electricity. Yeah,

618
00:36:07,239 --> 00:36:10,120
Speaker 1: I mean so a j k. You answered, I'm curious

619
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:12,360
Speaker 1: because there's a part of the Roy's question about not

620
00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:15,439
Speaker 1: becoming a workaholic. So how do you because because jil

621
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:17,400
Speaker 1: you got the beginning of the question, but then the

622
00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:22,600
Speaker 1: other part, like the workaholic part, how do you do that? Well,

623
00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:24,520
Speaker 1: I mean, if you really want me to be honest,

624
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:28,759
Speaker 1: I mean my kids, my kids experienced that light situation

625
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:33,839
Speaker 1: and it wasn't a joke, so, you know, not not

626
00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:38,680
Speaker 1: specifically the lights, but like when certain things couldn't happen

627
00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:42,720
Speaker 1: because because there was a big recession that happened before

628
00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:46,960
Speaker 1: before right before Obama came into office, we did not

629
00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:49,960
Speaker 1: work for four months and I was pregnant at the time,

630
00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:52,200
Speaker 1: so there was a lot of we can't do that,

631
00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:55,759
Speaker 1: this can't happen because mom and dad would typically be

632
00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:58,560
Speaker 1: on the road and we are not so certain things

633
00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:01,520
Speaker 1: that would happen, those things couldn't happen. So my older

634
00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:06,000
Speaker 1: children experience that in real time what it's like to

635
00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:09,800
Speaker 1: have parents in the entertainment industry, but also understand that

636
00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:13,200
Speaker 1: that's a real job, and that that job is not

637
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:15,400
Speaker 1: just because you see your parents on TV or you

638
00:37:15,440 --> 00:37:17,560
Speaker 1: see X, Y and Z doesn't mean that they don't

639
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:19,640
Speaker 1: have bills or they don't have like a real life

640
00:37:19,680 --> 00:37:24,960
Speaker 1: that's supported by real, actual action work work. And so

641
00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:27,840
Speaker 1: they experienced that early on. It. So you see the

642
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:31,320
Speaker 1: difference in my younger children as opposed to my older children.

643
00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:34,440
Speaker 1: All my older children worked in high school. All of

644
00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:37,000
Speaker 1: them worked. They all had jobs. I have a senior

645
00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:41,520
Speaker 1: right now who who works. Um, they all understand this

646
00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:44,320
Speaker 1: because they wanted to get jobs for the very reason

647
00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:46,240
Speaker 1: you wanted to get a job. It's like, my parents

648
00:37:46,239 --> 00:37:49,759
Speaker 1: have six kids, they have multiple businesses. I don't want

649
00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:51,239
Speaker 1: to have to come to my parents every time I

650
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:52,919
Speaker 1: want to go hang out with my friends, or every

651
00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:55,160
Speaker 1: time I want a pair of sneakers, or every time

652
00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:58,080
Speaker 1: I want something to X, Y and Z. But what that,

653
00:37:58,239 --> 00:38:01,920
Speaker 1: what what happens is why communicateation is so important, is

654
00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:05,959
Speaker 1: that you don't want them deciding the reason in their

655
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:10,920
Speaker 1: mind based on your circumstances that you haven't communicated, because

656
00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:13,920
Speaker 1: what that causes is that then they start to believe

657
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,960
Speaker 1: something that might not really be true. I don't want

658
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:18,759
Speaker 1: to bother my parents because they can't afford it. Well,

659
00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:21,160
Speaker 1: how the funk you know I can't afford it. I can.

660
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:24,440
Speaker 1: I might be able to, but you're you're you're creating

661
00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:28,120
Speaker 1: a pathology and your probably you know, you're creating something

662
00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:31,840
Speaker 1: in yourself that's not necessary. So that's why the communication

663
00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:35,760
Speaker 1: between parent and child is so important, and the way

664
00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:38,839
Speaker 1: that you talk about your professional life and the way

665
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:42,759
Speaker 1: you talk about adulting even with your young children, so

666
00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:45,359
Speaker 1: that their perception is not always the perception of a child.

667
00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:48,320
Speaker 1: So let's keep it real. Things you perceived as a child,

668
00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:50,759
Speaker 1: you take them into your adulthood, and those are the

669
00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:53,400
Speaker 1: way you perceive them as an adult. You carry a

670
00:38:53,480 --> 00:38:57,640
Speaker 1: child's perception into your adulthood, and then it then dictates

671
00:38:57,680 --> 00:39:01,600
Speaker 1: how you adult. Jesus. So I want my children to

672
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:05,839
Speaker 1: understand how to take their child perspective and the reality

673
00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:10,080
Speaker 1: and create something that they can then use to anchor

674
00:39:10,120 --> 00:39:14,160
Speaker 1: how they live their lives. Well, I have to say that.

675
00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:16,840
Speaker 1: You know, we talk about this to it. You know,

676
00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:20,560
Speaker 1: my kid and I we grew up in total different ways,

677
00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:25,160
Speaker 1: so it's important for me. Like I grew up in

678
00:39:25,239 --> 00:39:30,320
Speaker 1: a row home with one bathroom and Jed has never

679
00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:32,880
Speaker 1: had a house or lived in the house with one bathroom.

680
00:39:33,239 --> 00:39:35,960
Speaker 1: So I feel like we don't we can't relate in

681
00:39:36,239 --> 00:39:39,080
Speaker 1: these areas like you had to, you know, go after

682
00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:41,920
Speaker 1: Uncle Dave. You know, if he doesn't smell to join up.

683
00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:44,080
Speaker 1: You know, you had to. You had to deal with

684
00:39:44,120 --> 00:39:47,000
Speaker 1: people and and live with people and be patient and

685
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:49,840
Speaker 1: figure out other ways. You know, Grandma had the pea bucket.

686
00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:53,400
Speaker 1: You know, you gotta make it work. And he doesn't.

687
00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:56,839
Speaker 1: He doesn't relate to me in that way. So it's

688
00:39:56,880 --> 00:40:02,440
Speaker 1: important for me to say no sometimes. You know, I

689
00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:05,040
Speaker 1: figure out when you know, when's the right time to say.

690
00:40:05,160 --> 00:40:09,360
Speaker 1: But I have to say no sometimes, not because because

691
00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:12,280
Speaker 1: I can't do it. Because if you can't have everything,

692
00:40:12,680 --> 00:40:16,200
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. That's this real life. You can't

693
00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:21,560
Speaker 1: have everything all the time. Dog, And I love you

694
00:40:21,719 --> 00:40:24,440
Speaker 1: enough to try to prepare you for the nose. What

695
00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:26,840
Speaker 1: you're gonna do. You're gonna have a tantrum. You're gonna

696
00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:30,120
Speaker 1: fall out, You're gonna be mad. How are you gonna

697
00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:35,560
Speaker 1: deal with nor something else? Homi? I love you, don't

698
00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:40,200
Speaker 1: be corny and don't be no damn, but I can't.

699
00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:48,600
Speaker 1: Let's figure we have to serious for me, Like I

700
00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:51,879
Speaker 1: have to figure out another way. If you want the thing,

701
00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:54,680
Speaker 1: then here's the job that you have to do in

702
00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:58,040
Speaker 1: order to get the thing. I'm required to take care

703
00:40:58,080 --> 00:41:00,279
Speaker 1: of your needs. I'm not required to get it all

704
00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:06,920
Speaker 1: you want? Nice? Love you, legal with him. We'll be

705
00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:21,400
Speaker 1: back after the break. Is this the first time we

706
00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:27,000
Speaker 1: did What's on your heart? And we don't even Nope,

707
00:41:27,239 --> 00:41:29,920
Speaker 1: not at all. We just pulled down at all. This

708
00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:33,480
Speaker 1: this damno episode is a what's on your heart? Right now?

709
00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:37,120
Speaker 1: Since we are here and we've been having this awesome conversation,

710
00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:42,680
Speaker 1: Roy Wood Jr. What's on your heart? I would say

711
00:41:42,719 --> 00:41:46,880
Speaker 1: the importance of going to therapy. I have enjoyed it. Uh,

712
00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:49,960
Speaker 1: how do you know when you have anxiety or you

713
00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:52,319
Speaker 1: just don't like being around my fus no more? What's

714
00:41:52,360 --> 00:41:58,279
Speaker 1: the difference the difference in that? Because I'm starting there

715
00:41:58,719 --> 00:42:02,080
Speaker 1: and I don't know if it's COVID paranoia or if

716
00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:04,719
Speaker 1: it's or if just being locked up for a year

717
00:42:05,560 --> 00:42:08,880
Speaker 1: just made me not like anything more than thirty people.

718
00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:12,040
Speaker 1: I just get and you've been talking a lot, Like

719
00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:14,399
Speaker 1: how about this, You've been talking a lot this year.

720
00:42:14,520 --> 00:42:16,879
Speaker 1: Sometimes you just don't feel like talking on your regular time,

721
00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:23,040
Speaker 1: Like I'm like talking to podcasts. That's a lot staying

722
00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:37,200
Speaker 1: in those days with a microphone, comedy show talking commentary. Um, yeah,

723
00:42:37,280 --> 00:42:42,400
Speaker 1: that's that's been on my heart. I mean, definitely figuring

724
00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:47,560
Speaker 1: out how to fucking raise this child, Like I get

725
00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:49,800
Speaker 1: something I'm trying to do, Like I'm trying to prepare

726
00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:55,480
Speaker 1: them for the police conduct conversation. You know, he's five,

727
00:42:57,600 --> 00:43:01,880
Speaker 1: he's five. I think I saw seven year old arrested

728
00:43:01,920 --> 00:43:04,920
Speaker 1: and a six year old was handcuffed in the last year,

729
00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:12,240
Speaker 1: so I know that that is inevitable fing But for now,

730
00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:15,879
Speaker 1: what I tried to do is teach him. Dogs are

731
00:43:15,880 --> 00:43:19,239
Speaker 1: like people in the sense that they are unpredictable and

732
00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:23,120
Speaker 1: many are friendly, but if you do it right, you

733
00:43:23,160 --> 00:43:28,640
Speaker 1: can guess which way their emotions are going. So in

734
00:43:28,760 --> 00:43:32,319
Speaker 1: teaching him how to read dogs, I'm hopefully teaching him

735
00:43:32,440 --> 00:43:35,600
Speaker 1: how to move around people that he's unsure of, you

736
00:43:35,680 --> 00:43:39,359
Speaker 1: know what I mean? And that goes you know, it's

737
00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:41,800
Speaker 1: bigger than the police, but it starts with the police

738
00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:45,120
Speaker 1: as far as I'm concerned. But just in terms of hey, man,

739
00:43:45,239 --> 00:43:49,359
Speaker 1: move slow, no crazy movements, no loud noises, you know,

740
00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:55,359
Speaker 1: like just anytime, like I haven't been in some weird situations,

741
00:43:55,680 --> 00:43:59,120
Speaker 1: you know, when when with a gun, sometimes poliee, sometimes

742
00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:01,279
Speaker 1: not police, but they had a gun and that was

743
00:44:01,400 --> 00:44:06,080
Speaker 1: enough for you. You have my undivided attention and figuring

744
00:44:06,080 --> 00:44:10,839
Speaker 1: out how to move safely through those spaces. So that's

745
00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:13,520
Speaker 1: probably the biggest thing that's on my mind. And if

746
00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:17,239
Speaker 1: there's anything that detaches me from moments with him that

747
00:44:17,320 --> 00:44:20,920
Speaker 1: are pure and in the present, it's knowing how finite

748
00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:25,640
Speaker 1: they are, and just you know, well, this ship is

749
00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:31,040
Speaker 1: gonna be over not too three y. Nobody's gonna see

750
00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:33,799
Speaker 1: him as this young cute kid any more. They're gonna

751
00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:36,520
Speaker 1: see him as a young shoplifter. So let me going

752
00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:41,400
Speaker 1: in and preprell don't don't touch stuff in the store. Dog.

753
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:48,160
Speaker 1: And it's like giving him the confidence of a king,

754
00:44:48,320 --> 00:44:52,160
Speaker 1: but also knowing how to move around people who don't

755
00:44:52,200 --> 00:44:56,960
Speaker 1: see him as such and not losing his confidence. You know,

756
00:44:57,040 --> 00:44:58,719
Speaker 1: I don't want him to think he's a poop put

757
00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:01,000
Speaker 1: but you need to know how to move around my

758
00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:07,520
Speaker 1: fucker's I think you are right that that that storm

759
00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:11,480
Speaker 1: constantly festers off the coast of my consciousness. It hasn't

760
00:45:11,840 --> 00:45:16,919
Speaker 1: reached shore yet, but mhm, we do best we can

761
00:45:17,880 --> 00:45:21,000
Speaker 1: about it. Well. As a as a black woman who

762
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:24,480
Speaker 1: has had this conversation with both her sons, her twenty

763
00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:27,440
Speaker 1: two year old son and I have an eleven year

764
00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:32,239
Speaker 1: old who just crossed over from that cute being like

765
00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:35,959
Speaker 1: a fourth thread right from qute to threat. I will

766
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:39,719
Speaker 1: say this that the conversation that I had with my

767
00:45:39,840 --> 00:45:41,960
Speaker 1: eleven year old is very different from the one I

768
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:47,520
Speaker 1: had with his brother. My experience with his brother was

769
00:45:48,080 --> 00:45:52,200
Speaker 1: Tradmon Martin, but my experience with my eleven year old

770
00:45:52,280 --> 00:45:56,000
Speaker 1: was Tummy and Rice. And so the level of fear

771
00:45:56,239 --> 00:45:59,600
Speaker 1: and what it is that fueled the conversation with him

772
00:45:59,680 --> 00:46:03,640
Speaker 1: was just from different circumstances. So with my little one,

773
00:46:03,719 --> 00:46:06,839
Speaker 1: what I try to explain to him was this, there

774
00:46:06,880 --> 00:46:10,480
Speaker 1: are just ways of you just being. You exist and

775
00:46:10,520 --> 00:46:14,080
Speaker 1: you're and you're okay to exist in whatever way you

776
00:46:14,160 --> 00:46:17,160
Speaker 1: feel that you want to exist, or what you have

777
00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:22,440
Speaker 1: to understand is that just existing normal things that you

778
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:30,040
Speaker 1: would do normal things, cry, get upset, misunderstand do anything

779
00:46:30,360 --> 00:46:33,239
Speaker 1: that those things can be misconstrued because of the way

780
00:46:33,280 --> 00:46:36,759
Speaker 1: other people are taught. So you have to understand there's

781
00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:41,040
Speaker 1: no way you cannot exist, there's no way. You just

782
00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:44,200
Speaker 1: have to be aware of the way your existence is

783
00:46:44,320 --> 00:46:47,440
Speaker 1: viewed by other people and how they do things and

784
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:50,600
Speaker 1: how they decide to do things. And it's just it's

785
00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:55,400
Speaker 1: a very unfair, horrible conversation that we should never have

786
00:46:55,520 --> 00:46:58,680
Speaker 1: to have with our sons, or our daughters for that matter,

787
00:46:58,719 --> 00:47:01,160
Speaker 1: because I had the same versation with my daughters. I

788
00:47:01,200 --> 00:47:05,040
Speaker 1: want to make that clear that girls get attacked by

789
00:47:05,120 --> 00:47:08,919
Speaker 1: police too, but that the thing is that helping them

790
00:47:08,920 --> 00:47:12,600
Speaker 1: to understand that balance is really damn near impossible because

791
00:47:12,640 --> 00:47:15,160
Speaker 1: this is a toxic situation. Your child should not be

792
00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:17,440
Speaker 1: able to manage it. That's the fact. That's the fact.

793
00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:21,279
Speaker 1: Your child should not be able to have to manage this.

794
00:47:21,960 --> 00:47:24,440
Speaker 1: And so the more that they understand it it's outside

795
00:47:24,440 --> 00:47:26,799
Speaker 1: of them, I think, the better they can handle it,

796
00:47:27,200 --> 00:47:30,160
Speaker 1: the more that they understand that, yes, there's some things

797
00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:32,640
Speaker 1: that you could do that might make the situation turn

798
00:47:32,719 --> 00:47:34,920
Speaker 1: a certain way, but you need to understand this is

799
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:38,160
Speaker 1: way outside of you. It's so way outside of you

800
00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:42,239
Speaker 1: that really you could act a hundred percent perfect and

801
00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:51,520
Speaker 1: this could still happen. Yep, you h h. In the meantime,

802
00:47:51,560 --> 00:47:55,160
Speaker 1: we get to play catch straight and you get to

803
00:47:55,239 --> 00:47:59,839
Speaker 1: tickle and giggle and have and be silly and make

804
00:48:00,040 --> 00:48:08,680
Speaker 1: real cheese sandwiches and because they're funds. Miss it. I

805
00:48:08,840 --> 00:48:13,240
Speaker 1: miss him, He's I missed him. He's like, I really

806
00:48:13,280 --> 00:48:15,680
Speaker 1: I really funk with Jet, Like I really fun with him,

807
00:48:15,680 --> 00:48:18,480
Speaker 1: Like I like that kid. I love him absolutely, but

808
00:48:18,520 --> 00:48:25,080
Speaker 1: I like him. He's cool, he's dope. Yeah. I think

809
00:48:25,120 --> 00:48:27,800
Speaker 1: that's that's one of the goals too, to have a

810
00:48:27,880 --> 00:48:32,760
Speaker 1: kid that you actually like. Yeah, yeah, that other people

811
00:48:33,160 --> 00:48:38,879
Speaker 1: that you love like too, you know. Yeah, he got

812
00:48:38,880 --> 00:48:44,680
Speaker 1: a good village Roy's he's very considerate. Yeah yeah, you know.

813
00:48:44,760 --> 00:48:48,080
Speaker 1: And that's that's the other thing that I think that

814
00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:50,560
Speaker 1: he has that I didn't have growing upside, you know,

815
00:48:51,680 --> 00:48:55,320
Speaker 1: my girl side, her whole family, these new girls zoom

816
00:48:55,400 --> 00:49:01,160
Speaker 1: call every Sunday like this love. Yeah, people on a call,

817
00:49:01,400 --> 00:49:05,480
Speaker 1: all but four people in each twenty boxes for three

818
00:49:05,800 --> 00:49:10,359
Speaker 1: people in each box. They were you want to give

819
00:49:10,440 --> 00:49:15,960
Speaker 1: him some of his love coming off the side, Like

820
00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:22,040
Speaker 1: he gets a level of joy and togetherness that I

821
00:49:22,120 --> 00:49:24,480
Speaker 1: never experienced just because you know, my mom's side, we

822
00:49:24,480 --> 00:49:27,920
Speaker 1: were all close, but everybody was just just do another

823
00:49:27,920 --> 00:49:31,000
Speaker 1: ship and you didn't have the gifted technology either to

824
00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:33,680
Speaker 1: bring it together every way. You know that we three

825
00:49:33,719 --> 00:49:36,520
Speaker 1: way just got invented in the eighties. Like he was

826
00:49:36,560 --> 00:49:40,120
Speaker 1: doing good to get four people on a call. So yeah,

827
00:49:40,160 --> 00:49:42,600
Speaker 1: he he has a good village. He definitely has a

828
00:49:42,640 --> 00:49:48,080
Speaker 1: good village. And I'm just I'm blessed that there's enough

829
00:49:48,120 --> 00:49:52,760
Speaker 1: people around when I'm not around, because because the challenge

830
00:49:53,320 --> 00:49:55,760
Speaker 1: as a parent is how how do you remain present

831
00:49:55,840 --> 00:50:00,080
Speaker 1: and also provide, you know, and COVID gave us, you know,

832
00:50:00,200 --> 00:50:03,640
Speaker 1: the gifts to be at home over but you know

833
00:50:03,719 --> 00:50:05,279
Speaker 1: now it's trying to get back out on this road.

834
00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:06,960
Speaker 1: That's why I'm trying to write more so I don't

835
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:10,239
Speaker 1: have to like go out like that and I don't

836
00:50:10,239 --> 00:50:12,759
Speaker 1: want to be on the road forty weeks a year.

837
00:50:13,200 --> 00:50:16,439
Speaker 1: I say it again, it's coming back to you, Roy,

838
00:50:16,520 --> 00:50:18,920
Speaker 1: but I'm gonna tell you because you're here, so I

839
00:50:18,960 --> 00:50:21,600
Speaker 1: gotta share it with you. This is my belief. I

840
00:50:21,600 --> 00:50:24,000
Speaker 1: could be wrong, but this is what I truly, truly

841
00:50:24,040 --> 00:50:27,759
Speaker 1: believe about life. The twenties are for working hard, the

842
00:50:27,760 --> 00:50:31,040
Speaker 1: thirties are for working smart, the forties are for working

843
00:50:31,120 --> 00:50:34,600
Speaker 1: how you want to, The fifties are for working when

844
00:50:34,920 --> 00:50:38,240
Speaker 1: you want to, and the sixties are for working if

845
00:50:38,880 --> 00:50:41,560
Speaker 1: you want to. I think it's a it's a good

846
00:50:41,640 --> 00:50:47,600
Speaker 1: manual for exist like that. I like that. Yeah, well,

847
00:50:47,800 --> 00:50:50,640
Speaker 1: well I'm definitely getting into how I'm definitely I'm gonna say,

848
00:50:50,640 --> 00:50:52,440
Speaker 1: what's your ultimate? Roy Like, what you what do you?

849
00:50:52,520 --> 00:50:54,480
Speaker 1: What do you wanted? What do you want? What's your ultimate?

850
00:50:55,280 --> 00:50:57,520
Speaker 1: I don't know. Man, I'm driving in Fall. I've been

851
00:50:57,600 --> 00:50:59,680
Speaker 1: driving in Fall since now. It just seemed like whatever

852
00:50:59,719 --> 00:51:03,200
Speaker 1: you want thing. It just you know, it just seems

853
00:51:03,239 --> 00:51:07,839
Speaker 1: like I never had plans beyond two to three years strategic,

854
00:51:08,400 --> 00:51:11,879
Speaker 1: you know where, Like I'm just to a point where

855
00:51:11,920 --> 00:51:15,360
Speaker 1: I feel like I have like a five year Like, Okay,

856
00:51:15,360 --> 00:51:17,320
Speaker 1: if I can get this show in this show greenlit,

857
00:51:17,360 --> 00:51:19,160
Speaker 1: then I can turn into a studio deal and then

858
00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:22,279
Speaker 1: I can create more content and get these other people on.

859
00:51:22,480 --> 00:51:26,319
Speaker 1: But like ideally to build a production house and get

860
00:51:26,360 --> 00:51:35,160
Speaker 1: more content started. The pipe Dream. Pipe Dream is a

861
00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:39,880
Speaker 1: film and television production studio in Birmingham, maybe Huntsville, but

862
00:51:40,960 --> 00:51:44,040
Speaker 1: there's so many hurdles. There's a lot of political hurdles

863
00:51:44,080 --> 00:51:47,080
Speaker 1: to getting film and television advanced in the state of Alabama.

864
00:51:47,840 --> 00:51:50,200
Speaker 1: But the only way that's going to happen is if

865
00:51:50,239 --> 00:51:54,040
Speaker 1: you have good content to be created in that region.

866
00:51:54,760 --> 00:51:57,840
Speaker 1: And the only people that are going to create content

867
00:51:57,920 --> 00:52:00,400
Speaker 1: in that region are people that are of that region.

868
00:52:00,840 --> 00:52:03,840
Speaker 1: And there ain't many people of Alabama that have enough

869
00:52:04,200 --> 00:52:08,960
Speaker 1: power to get anything greenlit. So whether I want to

870
00:52:09,120 --> 00:52:12,880
Speaker 1: or not, it's on me because nobody else is gonna

871
00:52:12,920 --> 00:52:16,320
Speaker 1: fucking do it. And like there's a couple of people,

872
00:52:16,560 --> 00:52:18,840
Speaker 1: like when I Comedy Central gave me a pilot in

873
00:52:20,880 --> 00:52:25,160
Speaker 1: Jefferson County Probation, where I played a probation officer, which

874
00:52:25,360 --> 00:52:28,080
Speaker 1: is loosely based on my situation when I was nineteen,

875
00:52:28,120 --> 00:52:31,160
Speaker 1: I got popped for stealing some credit cards and so

876
00:52:31,760 --> 00:52:35,440
Speaker 1: I had a probation officer that was Hella, just Hella

877
00:52:35,600 --> 00:52:38,920
Speaker 1: nice and letting me travel and still do stand up

878
00:52:39,440 --> 00:52:43,839
Speaker 1: during that time. And that's not the norm. In fact,

879
00:52:43,920 --> 00:52:47,400
Speaker 1: it's not even it's against the rules truth be told.

880
00:52:47,480 --> 00:52:52,920
Speaker 1: So it was just a show reimagining, like like when

881
00:52:52,960 --> 00:52:55,080
Speaker 1: you look at the way crime is portrayed in television,

882
00:52:55,239 --> 00:52:59,640
Speaker 1: right to catch the criminal. It's a courtroom show to

883
00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:02,240
Speaker 1: send the criminal jail, or it's the criminal in jail,

884
00:53:02,480 --> 00:53:05,320
Speaker 1: like those are the three those are the three aspects

885
00:53:05,360 --> 00:53:10,440
Speaker 1: of crime. There's never any discussion or exploration on restorative

886
00:53:10,480 --> 00:53:14,280
Speaker 1: justice or what restitution looks like and what that journey

887
00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:18,799
Speaker 1: is back into society for said criminal. So it's it's

888
00:53:18,840 --> 00:53:22,600
Speaker 1: a show that's got some some layers of you know,

889
00:53:22,719 --> 00:53:26,200
Speaker 1: my own woke it he woke if you will. But

890
00:53:27,280 --> 00:53:29,040
Speaker 1: to be able to a shot that in Alabama was

891
00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:31,799
Speaker 1: a blessing, Like that's a fucking hell, Mary from your

892
00:53:31,840 --> 00:53:34,839
Speaker 1: own ten yard line, and we got that bitch green

893
00:53:34,920 --> 00:53:37,600
Speaker 1: lit and we got it shot and we hired again.

894
00:53:37,640 --> 00:53:42,200
Speaker 1: It showed me what's possible in the state Alabama. And

895
00:53:42,280 --> 00:53:48,640
Speaker 1: so that's that hasn't left my mind. Wood Jr. I

896
00:53:48,760 --> 00:53:52,400
Speaker 1: like to save people whole man, friend, I know we

897
00:53:52,520 --> 00:53:57,399
Speaker 1: just met, but to run try to me for yeah, man,

898
00:53:57,600 --> 00:54:02,640
Speaker 1: from from from my perspective, peers that one thing begets

899
00:54:02,680 --> 00:54:08,000
Speaker 1: another in your life pretty obviously from your parenting, from

900
00:54:08,040 --> 00:54:12,160
Speaker 1: your parents and who they were to who you are now,

901
00:54:12,640 --> 00:54:16,040
Speaker 1: how you're trying to raise your son. Um, you're the

902
00:54:16,200 --> 00:54:18,879
Speaker 1: jobs that you've created at the jobs that you've had

903
00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:23,359
Speaker 1: the fact that you still have this deep appreciation and

904
00:54:23,400 --> 00:54:26,680
Speaker 1: respect for where you come from. All of those things.

905
00:54:27,719 --> 00:54:31,000
Speaker 1: You have to just start seeing it. Go take little trips,

906
00:54:31,040 --> 00:54:33,560
Speaker 1: look on Zello all the time, you know, and look

907
00:54:33,600 --> 00:54:37,399
Speaker 1: at buildings that are available or land that's available. Uh,

908
00:54:37,840 --> 00:54:41,239
Speaker 1: start talking about it more and more. Draw you all

909
00:54:41,280 --> 00:54:47,080
Speaker 1: your ideas out, and truly, sincerely, it will come into fruition.

910
00:54:47,239 --> 00:54:49,360
Speaker 1: That's not a myth. That's not you know. I'm not

911
00:54:49,400 --> 00:54:51,600
Speaker 1: trying to sell your pipe dream. I know I'm smiling,

912
00:54:51,600 --> 00:54:57,200
Speaker 1: but I smile alt. I'm just saying. I'm just saying

913
00:54:57,680 --> 00:55:00,440
Speaker 1: I will be very very happy to visit your studio

914
00:55:00,640 --> 00:55:08,919
Speaker 1: and hopefully you will give me a job. As a job,

915
00:55:09,080 --> 00:55:12,759
Speaker 1: I also use a job as well. I have six children. Yeah,

916
00:55:12,920 --> 00:55:15,400
Speaker 1: and I'll just tell you somebody shows I created to

917
00:55:15,440 --> 00:55:17,640
Speaker 1: them a production. Let's just go. I'm like, we all

918
00:55:17,719 --> 00:55:24,040
Speaker 1: look and Danzler is an excellent writer as well as St. Clair. No.

919
00:55:24,160 --> 00:55:25,920
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, bring them kids on set. We'll

920
00:55:25,920 --> 00:55:28,840
Speaker 1: put them in work. They will take you up on that.

921
00:55:28,960 --> 00:55:32,480
Speaker 1: They will take you up on that job. They like jobs.

922
00:55:32,480 --> 00:55:34,040
Speaker 1: That's what I'm trying to tell you. That's what I'm

923
00:55:34,040 --> 00:55:36,719
Speaker 1: trying to told you gotta show them better than that.

924
00:55:37,200 --> 00:55:41,439
Speaker 1: But yeah, man, I've really enjoyed this conversation. Sorry, as

925
00:55:41,520 --> 00:55:44,839
Speaker 1: we appreciate this was this was dope, man. This is

926
00:55:44,880 --> 00:55:46,920
Speaker 1: this y'all. Y'all all right man, it's a good time

927
00:55:46,960 --> 00:55:52,000
Speaker 1: see friends and family out here in this world. Thank

928
00:55:52,040 --> 00:55:54,839
Speaker 1: you so much for listening to Jay dot Il the Podcast.

929
00:55:55,480 --> 00:55:59,799
Speaker 1: Definitely appreciate you and the opportunity to share stories. That's

930
00:56:00,000 --> 00:56:04,799
Speaker 1: our conversation as well as inspiration. That's our should. Love

931
00:56:04,840 --> 00:56:26,400
Speaker 1: you so much. Talk to you later. Hi, if you

932
00:56:26,480 --> 00:56:29,799
Speaker 1: have comments on something we said in this episode called

933
00:56:29,920 --> 00:56:33,279
Speaker 1: eight six six, Hey, Jill, if you want to add

934
00:56:33,320 --> 00:56:37,399
Speaker 1: to this conversation that's eight six six nine five four

935
00:56:37,640 --> 00:56:40,360
Speaker 1: five five, don't forget to tell us your name and

936
00:56:40,400 --> 00:56:44,000
Speaker 1: the episode you're referring to. You might just hear your

937
00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:47,759
Speaker 1: message on a future episode. Thank you for listening to

938
00:56:47,880 --> 00:56:52,239
Speaker 1: Jill Scott Presents Jay dot Il the Podcast. This podcast

939
00:56:52,360 --> 00:56:55,680
Speaker 1: is hosted by Jill Scott, Laya st Clair, and Age

940
00:56:55,800 --> 00:56:59,640
Speaker 1: grad and Danceller. It's executive producers are Jill Scott, Shawn

941
00:56:59,719 --> 00:57:03,600
Speaker 1: g and Brian Calhoun's produced by Lawya st Clair and

942
00:57:03,880 --> 00:57:06,759
Speaker 1: me Eves, Jeff Coke, the editing and sound design for

943
00:57:06,760 --> 00:57:14,560
Speaker 1: this episode we're done by Christina Larenger. I also notified

944
00:57:14,680 --> 00:57:16,320
Speaker 1: Roy that he has to be a special type of

945
00:57:16,400 --> 00:57:23,000
Speaker 1: man to be invited to this podcast, Black women and

946
00:57:23,160 --> 00:57:29,160
Speaker 1: respect black women and Black women women. As a man

947
00:57:29,280 --> 00:57:33,640
Speaker 1: that was birthed by black women, do y'all holds that voice?

948
00:57:34,480 --> 00:57:38,640
Speaker 1: I love it. J dot Ill is a production of

949
00:57:38,800 --> 00:57:42,840
Speaker 1: I heart Radio. For more podcasts from I heart Radio,

950
00:57:43,240 --> 00:57:47,640
Speaker 1: visit the i heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever

951
00:57:47,760 --> 00:57:49,520
Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows.