WEBVTT - Quarantine Slump 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:04.960 Hell I Suck a Dating with Dengler, Dared Haven and 0:00:05.080 --> 0:00:12.560 I Heart Radio podcast. Hey, welcome to whatever this podcast 0:00:12.640 --> 0:00:15.240 is called, help I Suck at Dating. I'm Jared Haven, 0:00:15.280 --> 0:00:18.599 of course, joined by Dean Angler. Dean, how are you Jared? Wow? 0:00:18.640 --> 0:00:20.759 What a great introduction that was. Thanks so much. Not 0:00:20.840 --> 0:00:22.479 my best. Hey, thanks for having me on your podcast. 0:00:22.520 --> 0:00:24.400 I really appreciate it. You know, it's always an honored 0:00:24.400 --> 0:00:25.800 to be here every week. I don't know why you 0:00:25.880 --> 0:00:27.639 asked me to keep coming back as a guest, but 0:00:28.720 --> 0:00:31.240 you know I'll keep coming as long as you keep asking. 0:00:31.440 --> 0:00:33.320 You're the true talent of this podcast. So we have 0:00:33.360 --> 0:00:35.600 a great podcast coming up for you from the guests 0:00:35.600 --> 0:00:38.839 of the brand new show, UH let me get the 0:00:38.840 --> 0:00:43.440 title right. It is UH You, Me and My Ex, 0:00:43.520 --> 0:00:46.559 which starts airing on t l C Sundays at ten pm. 0:00:46.640 --> 0:00:50.919 It's John April, John's ex wife Lauren and Roy April's 0:00:50.920 --> 0:00:53.600 ex husband. It's very confusing. I'll watch the first episode. 0:00:53.600 --> 0:00:56.280 If you like these types of shows, you're gonna like 0:00:56.360 --> 0:00:59.760 this show. It's just a bunch of x is P 0:01:00.080 --> 0:01:02.959 who've been divorced living under one household and then then 0:01:02.960 --> 0:01:07.039 put cameras in there. And drama ensues. It's actually quite entertaining. Um. 0:01:07.080 --> 0:01:09.040 I'm excited to have them later on in the podcast 0:01:09.040 --> 0:01:12.880 and talk about the first episode. But first I wanted 0:01:12.920 --> 0:01:15.759 to get to something that we didn't finish last week, Dean, 0:01:16.560 --> 0:01:20.360 which was a New York Times article. UM, let me 0:01:20.400 --> 0:01:23.040 just bring it up here. Sorry. UM, It's it's Monday, people, 0:01:23.040 --> 0:01:26.000 so usually we record on Fridays. It's Monday. I'm all 0:01:26.040 --> 0:01:28.959 over the place. Dean looks like he just woke up. 0:01:29.000 --> 0:01:32.240 Easton looks like a disheveled version of himself. We're all 0:01:32.280 --> 0:01:34.480 over the place today. It's a Monday. But here it 0:01:34.600 --> 0:01:36.640 is for the record. Let's let the record. Let's let 0:01:36.680 --> 0:01:39.840 the record stay for a second. That it's nine thirty 0:01:39.840 --> 0:01:42.680 in the morning where most of us are, but it's 0:01:42.720 --> 0:01:44.880 twelve thirty in the afternoon where you are, So you 0:01:44.959 --> 0:01:47.200 should you have less of an excuse to be a 0:01:47.200 --> 0:01:49.800 little scatter brained at the moment. Oh, I have no excuse. 0:01:50.000 --> 0:01:53.880 But I'm still going to just make excuses because that's 0:01:53.920 --> 0:01:56.200 what I do. So it's hard to point out. I 0:01:56.240 --> 0:01:58.680 appreciate it. The New York Times article that we talked 0:01:58.680 --> 0:02:01.960 about last week, seven ways to reset your relationship we 0:02:02.000 --> 0:02:05.320 only got through the first two, and just to reiterate 0:02:05.360 --> 0:02:07.880 what we were talking about, experts were saying, couples can 0:02:07.920 --> 0:02:10.760 emerge from the pandemic because hopefully we're getting past this 0:02:10.880 --> 0:02:13.720 thing stronger than ever by learning from the past and 0:02:13.760 --> 0:02:17.480 looking forward towards the future. Quote. During this time, couples 0:02:17.480 --> 0:02:19.920 may have been spending about as much time with each 0:02:19.919 --> 0:02:22.920 other as they would normally be stretched out across a 0:02:23.000 --> 0:02:26.800 two or three year period, says Bryce dejone A, a 0:02:26.800 --> 0:02:30.919 clinical psychologist in Portland. Uh Quote. She goes on to say, 0:02:31.000 --> 0:02:35.280 and they've had to occupy multiple roles that have been 0:02:35.320 --> 0:02:39.320 previously filled by others, like friends, which is nearly impossible. 0:02:39.360 --> 0:02:41.920 So as many couples pledged back into reality, it's a 0:02:41.919 --> 0:02:45.640 good opportunity to reset the relationship we talked about the 0:02:45.680 --> 0:02:49.880 first two. Number one is doing a relationship review, which 0:02:49.880 --> 0:02:52.520 is having to sit down with your partner, assess what 0:02:52.639 --> 0:02:54.600 has worked over the past year and a half throughout 0:02:54.600 --> 0:02:58.120 the pandemic, what hasn't worked, and try to work on 0:02:58.200 --> 0:03:01.360 your work on your weaknesses while reving your strengths. Just 0:03:01.440 --> 0:03:04.080 like the New Engla Patriots. Dude Number two, voice your 0:03:04.120 --> 0:03:07.080 appreciation perhaps over the past year you haven't felt like 0:03:07.120 --> 0:03:10.160 giving compliments to your partner, but positive feedback is important. 0:03:10.160 --> 0:03:12.880 We talked about Dean, how you are a great, great 0:03:12.919 --> 0:03:16.200 person when it comes to compliments because you just compliment 0:03:16.240 --> 0:03:23.239 everybody so well. And number three build in time apart. 0:03:24.000 --> 0:03:27.079 This is interesting. Make sure that each partner builds some 0:03:27.200 --> 0:03:31.320 alone time into their day, even if it's a short walk. 0:03:31.440 --> 0:03:33.839 What are your thoughts about that having some personal time 0:03:33.880 --> 0:03:38.160 to yourself. I've I've advocated for a time apart, specifically 0:03:38.360 --> 0:03:42.200 in relationships, for as long as I can freaking remember, 0:03:42.440 --> 0:03:44.760 and I still to this day. Kalen and I've been 0:03:44.800 --> 0:03:47.080 together for you know, over two years now, and there 0:03:47.120 --> 0:03:49.360 are still times where it's like, Okay, you know, we 0:03:49.480 --> 0:03:53.440 just spent two weeks literally by each other's side every 0:03:53.640 --> 0:03:56.280 waking moment. Now let's you know, I'm going to go 0:03:56.360 --> 0:03:58.880 off in the van for five days. I'll see when 0:03:58.880 --> 0:04:00.600 I get back. And it's psych a good way to 0:04:00.600 --> 0:04:03.520 like reset. It's not because like I'm sick of her 0:04:03.760 --> 0:04:05.800 or she's sick of me, or we're sick of each other. 0:04:06.000 --> 0:04:08.000 It's just it's just a good thing to get out 0:04:08.080 --> 0:04:10.840 and you know, kind of like be on your own 0:04:10.880 --> 0:04:12.360 for a little bit. I think it's an important thing 0:04:12.360 --> 0:04:14.440 that people don't really tend to do it as much anymore. 0:04:14.600 --> 0:04:16.800 What do you think about it? No, I completely agree. 0:04:16.839 --> 0:04:20.280 I think you just become accustomed to way things are 0:04:20.320 --> 0:04:22.279 and you don't prioritize yourself. And when we talked about 0:04:22.360 --> 0:04:24.680 numerous times on this podcast, but there has to be moments, 0:04:24.680 --> 0:04:26.479 even in your relationship where you just kind of have 0:04:26.520 --> 0:04:29.280 to be alone. You know, I'm never tired of Ashley. 0:04:29.279 --> 0:04:31.960 It's probably one of our best attributes in our relationship 0:04:32.040 --> 0:04:34.440 where there honestly hasn't been a time where I thought 0:04:34.480 --> 0:04:36.800 to myself, I need to be away from Ashley right now. 0:04:37.400 --> 0:04:40.480 But being away from her actually right now she's down 0:04:40.520 --> 0:04:42.279 in Virginia visiting her parents, and I'm in the Rhode 0:04:42.279 --> 0:04:46.200 Island right now. It's been actually quite um nice to 0:04:46.400 --> 0:04:50.920 just have some alone time. And you know, I miss 0:04:51.080 --> 0:04:53.480 I miss my wife, you know, so it's a really nice, 0:04:53.520 --> 0:04:55.440 like you said, reset to have that I think is 0:04:55.920 --> 0:04:59.240 very important and there's nothing wrong with saying to your partner, Hey, 0:04:59.279 --> 0:05:01.520 I'm just gonna you know, I'm gonna go along for 0:05:01.520 --> 0:05:05.840 a little while, take a walk. I'm gonna go, you know, 0:05:05.920 --> 0:05:07.760 to a store, do whatever. You need to do to 0:05:07.760 --> 0:05:09.680 just kind of get out reset your mind. I think 0:05:09.680 --> 0:05:12.760 it's really healthy. Number four in this seven ways to 0:05:12.800 --> 0:05:16.679 reset your relationship take time to connect. Having less sex 0:05:16.800 --> 0:05:19.520 these days, it's not just you. A recent online survey 0:05:19.600 --> 0:05:23.200 of one thousand and fifty nine adults about their intimate 0:05:23.240 --> 0:05:26.800 lives by the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University revealed that 0:05:26.880 --> 0:05:31.520 over of participants reported a decline in the quality of 0:05:31.560 --> 0:05:36.480 their sex lives since the pandemic began. Um, this might 0:05:36.520 --> 0:05:38.520 be a little t M I D. But I don't know. 0:05:38.520 --> 0:05:41.240 If you'd like to, I'll you. I want you to 0:05:41.279 --> 0:05:48.400 feel at first declined sex life. Um, I guess we'll 0:05:48.640 --> 0:05:52.880 definitely during the pandemic it was, you know, a lot 0:05:52.920 --> 0:05:57.520 of just lounging sweatpants. We didn't really try to dress 0:05:57.640 --> 0:06:00.159 up for each other. You know, there'd be may be 0:06:00.279 --> 0:06:04.520 days in there where I wouldn't bathe. So it was 0:06:04.600 --> 0:06:07.880 just not a sexy time in our lives. So I guess, yeah, 0:06:07.960 --> 0:06:09.880 if I was answering this survey, I would say we 0:06:09.880 --> 0:06:11.839 were one of the participants with report, you know, who 0:06:12.200 --> 0:06:16.680 had a decline in our sex lives. Um, but as 0:06:16.800 --> 0:06:19.200 we've been very open and honest about we've been trying 0:06:19.240 --> 0:06:22.400 to conceive, so that has ramped things back up again. 0:06:23.080 --> 0:06:25.800 But definitely during the pandemic it was not a priority, 0:06:25.839 --> 0:06:28.240 which actually caused I'm not going to say issues, but 0:06:28.760 --> 0:06:31.120 you know, we had conversations about it because Ashley was 0:06:31.200 --> 0:06:33.320 very honest and saying like, hey, I need you to 0:06:33.360 --> 0:06:35.640 make me feel more sexy, and I'm like, no, I'm 0:06:37.040 --> 0:06:40.479 very attracted to you. It's just you know, there's it's 0:06:40.520 --> 0:06:43.520 just as you know, Dean, like when you don't work out, 0:06:43.600 --> 0:06:45.719 when you're not feeling good about yourself, it makes you 0:06:45.839 --> 0:06:47.800 it makes your sex drive go down. And so I 0:06:47.880 --> 0:06:49.920 think that happened to a lot of people in the pandemic, 0:06:49.960 --> 0:06:53.760 where they didn't feel good about themselves and sex went down, 0:06:53.920 --> 0:06:56.279 and then it just snowballed into like, oh my god, 0:06:56.320 --> 0:06:58.720 it's been three weeks since we've had sex, and and 0:06:58.760 --> 0:07:02.560 so I don't know any thoughts about it. Yeah, I mean, 0:07:02.600 --> 0:07:04.240 I mean, it's funny to hear you talk about it 0:07:04.480 --> 0:07:06.800 so candidly. I appreciate it. I think that we've talked 0:07:06.800 --> 0:07:08.520 about it on the podcast a little bit in the past, 0:07:08.520 --> 0:07:10.800 but I'm I'm very much in the same boat as you, 0:07:11.040 --> 0:07:13.400 and uh, it's it's a weird thing to talk about. 0:07:13.920 --> 0:07:15.880 I talked about with my friends like privately all the time, 0:07:15.880 --> 0:07:18.320 but now I discuss it publicly on this it's always 0:07:18.320 --> 0:07:20.240 just funny to say, and it's very funny too. It's 0:07:20.320 --> 0:07:23.320 basically exactly what you said to Caitlin. Caitlin voiced her 0:07:23.320 --> 0:07:25.920 concerns just like Ashley did to you, And my response 0:07:26.080 --> 0:07:28.400 is like, I's like, do you see, like how out 0:07:28.400 --> 0:07:30.120 of shape I am. I look in the mirror and 0:07:30.120 --> 0:07:32.600 I see myself and I'm like completely repulsed by the 0:07:32.600 --> 0:07:35.640 person looking back at me. Like it's just like, you know, pandemic. 0:07:35.720 --> 0:07:38.400 Let you go, let your body go. You've been eating worse, 0:07:38.480 --> 0:07:41.320 You've been working out less, You've been you know, like 0:07:41.360 --> 0:07:43.160 you said, bathing less. I mean, I you know, that's 0:07:43.200 --> 0:07:45.040 always just kind of I don't I don't really bathe 0:07:45.040 --> 0:07:48.160 as it is anyways. Um, but yeah, it's bad. It's 0:07:48.160 --> 0:07:50.360 just all kind of compiles and and has become this 0:07:50.400 --> 0:07:52.240 perfect storm. And it's nothing to do with anyone else. 0:07:52.280 --> 0:07:55.480 It's really it's actually gotten so bad, not so bad, 0:07:55.600 --> 0:07:58.200 but like it made me so curious, I guess to 0:07:58.240 --> 0:07:59.800 the point where I'm like I just I actually just 0:08:00.080 --> 0:08:02.720 or a testosterone testing kit. I'm like, do I have 0:08:02.760 --> 0:08:05.960 low testosterone? Um? But I do think once I get 0:08:05.960 --> 0:08:07.520 back in the gym and start working out again and 0:08:07.600 --> 0:08:10.200 like start being more confident in my appearance as I 0:08:10.280 --> 0:08:13.239 used to be, things will kind of return back to normal. 0:08:13.320 --> 0:08:16.760 But but yeah, it's it's it's definitely like a funny 0:08:16.840 --> 0:08:20.000 situation to be in. I'm very curious about this testosterone kit. 0:08:20.120 --> 0:08:22.560 You have to let us know if your testosterone levels 0:08:22.560 --> 0:08:26.160 are normal, low or high. Well, yeah, I definitely will. 0:08:26.200 --> 0:08:28.840 And the funny thing is, right after I ordered it, 0:08:28.840 --> 0:08:31.560 it kind of made me recall this experience I had 0:08:31.560 --> 0:08:33.680 in college where I was driving around with my best 0:08:33.720 --> 0:08:36.560 friend and we came across the testoster and testing center 0:08:36.840 --> 0:08:39.720 and I was just distinctly remember the conversation. He was like, Dean, 0:08:39.720 --> 0:08:41.320 you should go get tested for a low teed. We 0:08:41.320 --> 0:08:42.640 are you just talking about how you thought you had 0:08:42.640 --> 0:08:44.920 low testosterone? So this might be a thing that I've 0:08:44.960 --> 0:08:47.079 just had since college or my entire life, or it 0:08:47.200 --> 0:08:51.160 just isn't completely like in my head thing. Um, I 0:08:51.240 --> 0:08:53.400 feel like I don't know, I feel like we're kind 0:08:53.440 --> 0:08:58.040 of groomed culturally through social media and movies and television 0:08:58.400 --> 0:09:02.520 to like as guys be like, if you're not craving 0:09:02.559 --> 0:09:04.960 sex at all times of the day, then there's something 0:09:04.960 --> 0:09:07.160 wrong with you. And I feel like like I've absorbed 0:09:07.160 --> 0:09:09.439 that in a in a negative way, and I'm like, well, 0:09:09.480 --> 0:09:12.120 I like, I don't really ever crave sex. There's never 0:09:12.120 --> 0:09:14.600 a moment where I'm like, my instincts are taking over 0:09:14.640 --> 0:09:17.400 and i have to like swipe everything off this counter 0:09:17.480 --> 0:09:19.280 and like, you know, take calein and do that. It's 0:09:19.320 --> 0:09:22.400 just I've never been that person. Um, and I enjoy that. 0:09:22.440 --> 0:09:24.559 I'm not that person. I've never really been motivated by 0:09:24.559 --> 0:09:26.760 this kind of stuff. So, uh, you know, I think 0:09:26.760 --> 0:09:28.679 society has kind of tricked me into thinking that I 0:09:28.760 --> 0:09:32.200 should be, you know, a little bit more sexually motivated. Um. 0:09:32.240 --> 0:09:33.760 So I don't know, Yeah, I'll just know what the 0:09:33.800 --> 0:09:36.079 results say. Though, No, I agree with you. When Ashley 0:09:36.080 --> 0:09:39.360 and I first got together because again being very candid, 0:09:40.160 --> 0:09:43.280 Ashley obviously was a virgin for a very long time, 0:09:43.320 --> 0:09:46.640 and so it was definitely, you know, a learning curve 0:09:46.760 --> 0:09:48.920 for for her and for both of us kind of 0:09:48.920 --> 0:09:52.040 getting to know each other, and so, uh, it was 0:09:52.320 --> 0:09:55.520 it was weird because she would sometimes get a little 0:09:55.520 --> 0:09:57.880 annoyed at me because she would have a difficult time, 0:09:58.640 --> 0:10:01.439 uh during some moments. And then she's like, but you're like, 0:10:01.679 --> 0:10:03.600 you're supposed to want to have sex like every five 0:10:03.640 --> 0:10:06.560 minutes you're a guy, and it's like, I don't think 0:10:06.600 --> 0:10:08.520 that's I think that's a little bit of a myth 0:10:08.640 --> 0:10:10.760 ash because I feel like a lot of my guy 0:10:10.840 --> 0:10:14.240 friends like they might put this appearance on like they 0:10:14.240 --> 0:10:15.880 want to have sex all the time, but I really 0:10:15.920 --> 0:10:19.160 don't think they do. And like, for someone like me, 0:10:19.240 --> 0:10:21.160 I'm I'm similar to you, Deane, where it's like I 0:10:21.200 --> 0:10:23.720 need you know, it's not like hey, I'm just ready 0:10:23.760 --> 0:10:26.160 to go like I need some you know, warming up 0:10:26.200 --> 0:10:28.320 to some four play in there. It's a it's a 0:10:28.400 --> 0:10:31.920 nice little added touch. Uh. So anyway we're being really 0:10:31.960 --> 0:10:35.800 Candidate number five, going to a party is some way 0:10:35.920 --> 0:10:38.760 a way to reset your relationship. Seeing your significant other 0:10:38.840 --> 0:10:43.559 at an event dressed up, being witty perhaps can renew 0:10:43.880 --> 0:10:46.240 your own attraction, which is something, of course I agree with. 0:10:46.280 --> 0:10:48.360 Anytime we go to events and Ashley dresses up and 0:10:48.400 --> 0:10:51.400 she's wearing a dress and heels and like, oh yeah, yeah, 0:10:51.480 --> 0:10:53.760 you're looking good, especially when she's at an event or 0:10:53.800 --> 0:10:56.079 wearing some sort of get together and she's on her 0:10:56.120 --> 0:11:00.000 own and she's socializing with other people and making people 0:11:00.000 --> 0:11:04.040 will feel good about themselves. Like, that's a very attractive 0:11:04.520 --> 0:11:08.320 trait for you know, something I find extremely attractive. You 0:11:08.320 --> 0:11:10.040 think that's reciprocated. Do you think she finds you more 0:11:10.080 --> 0:11:13.920 attractive to see you in your element? Because I think 0:11:14.000 --> 0:11:16.040 I'm more attractive in my element. You know, when I'm 0:11:16.080 --> 0:11:18.040 more in a when I'm in a scenario that I 0:11:18.040 --> 0:11:21.120 feel very comfortable, and I feel like I give off 0:11:21.280 --> 0:11:24.640 this this confidence, in this sex appeal that isn't there 0:11:24.720 --> 0:11:29.000 when I'm in other scenarios that I am very uncomfortable with. Yeah, 0:11:29.320 --> 0:11:31.439 we kind of have that dynamic. I think Caylin is 0:11:31.480 --> 0:11:33.600 a little more introverted than Ashley as though, So there's 0:11:33.600 --> 0:11:36.600 a lot of social settings we get into as a couple. Uh. 0:11:36.640 --> 0:11:38.160 And I don't want to say like I'm tasked with 0:11:38.280 --> 0:11:41.640 carrying the two of us through the conversations, but sometimes 0:11:41.960 --> 0:11:43.719 she'll like pull me aside afterwards and say like, thank 0:11:43.720 --> 0:11:47.559 you so much for not giving me like like essentially 0:11:47.559 --> 0:11:49.600 for being like thank you for handling that conversation because 0:11:49.640 --> 0:11:51.400 I wasn't in the mood to to talk with anyone, 0:11:51.440 --> 0:11:53.000 and she's like that was very nice to be like that, 0:11:53.360 --> 0:11:55.080 Like that was kind of like her her version of 0:11:55.400 --> 0:11:57.480 being attracted to that. I guess. Uh, And that's the 0:11:57.480 --> 0:11:59.960 only find too, because time I get into a conversation, 0:12:00.320 --> 0:12:02.880 especially when it's her and I together, it's like, I 0:12:02.920 --> 0:12:05.040 don't want there to be any fluffing. Let's just get 0:12:05.440 --> 0:12:08.080 get the conversation over with, move on with their lives 0:12:08.640 --> 0:12:11.240 and and go to the next place. So, uh, it's 0:12:11.320 --> 0:12:13.360 kind of nice that, you know, we're both on the 0:12:13.440 --> 0:12:15.959 same page of just like, let's get sober with you. 0:12:15.960 --> 0:12:19.680 You guys balance each other off pretty well. Yeah. Number six, 0:12:20.040 --> 0:12:23.800 rediscover your playful side. If there was ever a time 0:12:23.840 --> 0:12:28.880 to surprise ourselves and our partner with the new and unexpected, 0:12:29.440 --> 0:12:33.120 it is right now. Uh. Yeah, you have to be 0:12:33.160 --> 0:12:37.960 playful sometimes, like we're talking about, relationships can get stagnant 0:12:38.040 --> 0:12:41.640 and get stale. You need to kind of, you know, 0:12:41.840 --> 0:12:43.760 spice it up. I think a lot of people forget 0:12:43.800 --> 0:12:45.840 that they have to put effort into a relationship and 0:12:45.840 --> 0:12:48.800 that when you're with someone you get complacent and you 0:12:48.960 --> 0:12:51.480 forget oh well, I need to put some sort of 0:12:51.520 --> 0:12:54.920 effort into you know, for lack of a better way 0:12:54.920 --> 0:12:58.000 of saying it, rediscovering our playful side because the relationship 0:12:58.040 --> 0:13:00.440 is supposed to be fun. Well, let's ask you this, 0:13:00.480 --> 0:13:05.200 what was the last playful thing you did for Ashley? Well, 0:13:05.400 --> 0:13:08.600 damn it, Dean, I didn't expect to answer that. Uh, 0:13:08.679 --> 0:13:11.840 what is the last playful thing? I don't know. I 0:13:11.880 --> 0:13:14.760 also think what what's playful in my mind is not 0:13:14.880 --> 0:13:21.760 playful in ashes Um, damn what is the last? Oh man, 0:13:21.800 --> 0:13:28.240 I'm a terrible husband. Um, I don't know. Like I always, like, 0:13:28.480 --> 0:13:30.240 you know, when she wakes up. I always wake her 0:13:30.320 --> 0:13:32.680 up in bed and like cuddle with her for a 0:13:32.760 --> 0:13:36.440 minute and like tickle her arm. Um, it's never long 0:13:36.559 --> 0:13:38.400 enough because she always complains when I walk away because 0:13:38.400 --> 0:13:40.240 I only do it for like maybe two or three minutes. 0:13:40.280 --> 0:13:42.800 But then like we'll always like play with Lois in 0:13:42.840 --> 0:13:47.079 the bed and have like a little family moment um, 0:13:47.200 --> 0:13:49.400 usually in the morning, sometimes before we go to bed. 0:13:49.520 --> 0:13:51.920 So that's probably like the most playful thing I've done. 0:13:52.120 --> 0:13:55.920 Probably not good enough, but little Hey, as long as 0:13:55.920 --> 0:13:58.040 she's happy, that's what that's all that matters. It's doesn't 0:13:58.040 --> 0:14:00.320 matter whether we think it's enough or not. It's others. 0:14:00.320 --> 0:14:04.080 She thinks it's good enough. I guess she's happy, and yeah, 0:14:04.320 --> 0:14:07.360 I would imagine she's Oh she's happy. Damn. She tells 0:14:07.360 --> 0:14:10.920 me she's happy. I'm happy too, So hopefully we're both. Yeah, 0:14:11.200 --> 0:14:14.760 that's all that matters. One of the things that my father, 0:14:14.840 --> 0:14:18.320 for all of his shortcomings as a as a husband 0:14:18.400 --> 0:14:20.720 and the father, one thing he did a lot when 0:14:20.720 --> 0:14:22.240 I was a kid, I noticed was he would bring 0:14:22.240 --> 0:14:25.680 my mom flowers basically, like at least once a week. 0:14:25.720 --> 0:14:27.680 He would always like come home with a bouquet of 0:14:27.680 --> 0:14:29.960 flowers for her. And so that's kind of something that 0:14:30.000 --> 0:14:31.960 I think I've taken. I don't buy them once a 0:14:31.960 --> 0:14:34.160 week for Caitlin, but I do try to at least, like, 0:14:34.240 --> 0:14:37.240 you know, once every couple of months or however many 0:14:37.280 --> 0:14:39.960 times show up with like a just like just a 0:14:40.040 --> 0:14:42.600 random bouquet flowers, just be like, you know what, you're great, 0:14:42.720 --> 0:14:45.520 You're special to me, and here are some flowers for you. 0:14:46.320 --> 0:14:48.960 That's very nice. That's like my one thing. But I 0:14:48.960 --> 0:14:50.320 guess I could get better at it to you, right, 0:14:50.320 --> 0:14:52.040 maybe we should take this as a wake up call 0:14:52.080 --> 0:14:55.520 for us to just improve at our our playfulness and 0:14:55.560 --> 0:14:58.040 our surprisings. I know, as I'm talking about it. I'm 0:14:58.040 --> 0:15:01.120 realizing all of my shortcomings. And last, but not least, 0:15:01.200 --> 0:15:04.640 number seven is to make plans. Making plans together, such 0:15:04.680 --> 0:15:08.520 as a vacation, a home renovation project, or even just 0:15:08.560 --> 0:15:12.560 swinging by a new restaurant, activates our brains craving for 0:15:12.720 --> 0:15:15.440 novel experiences. I don't think this is probably an issue 0:15:15.480 --> 0:15:16.960 with you. I feel like you and Camlon probably do 0:15:17.000 --> 0:15:22.000 a bunch of different stuff together, new new things together. Yeah. Actually, 0:15:22.040 --> 0:15:23.800 even just tonight we're in l A, but we're going 0:15:23.840 --> 0:15:26.120 to get a hotel room up in a Westlake village 0:15:26.200 --> 0:15:29.440 for the night. For some reason. That's just weird and 0:15:29.480 --> 0:15:31.760 that doesn't make sense that there's no reason to do it. 0:15:31.760 --> 0:15:33.600 It's just we're just gonna go do it, you know, 0:15:34.200 --> 0:15:38.800 just experience, you know, making plains plans together. It's it's great. 0:15:38.960 --> 0:15:42.640 Activates the brains craving for novel experiences. Dean. That's what 0:15:42.680 --> 0:15:44.440 you guys are doing. You guys are doing the good, 0:15:44.480 --> 0:15:47.440 the good things in relationships. Well, there's I mean, there's 0:15:47.480 --> 0:15:51.000 something to be said about novel experiences too, because the reason, 0:15:51.080 --> 0:15:52.560 you know, how like you get older and older and 0:15:52.600 --> 0:15:56.680 you feel like time goes faster and faster. It's because 0:15:57.040 --> 0:15:59.760 you are. You get so used to doing things that 0:15:59.800 --> 0:16:01.760 you're brain just kind of like goes into autopilot mode 0:16:01.760 --> 0:16:03.320 and it's like, oh, I've done this so many times. 0:16:03.360 --> 0:16:05.600 I don't have to really focus on anything right now, 0:16:05.840 --> 0:16:08.359 and so your life just gotta starts slipping on by. 0:16:08.440 --> 0:16:10.240 And there's a way to combat that, and it's by 0:16:10.280 --> 0:16:12.960 consistently doing new things and like making your brain kind 0:16:12.960 --> 0:16:14.960 of like unconsciously have to be like, oh, this is 0:16:14.960 --> 0:16:18.520 not uh, something I've experienced before. So it's life down 0:16:18.520 --> 0:16:20.640 a little bit. And it's true because when I think about, 0:16:20.920 --> 0:16:23.600 you know, timing things, I'm like, oh, when did this happen? 0:16:23.640 --> 0:16:27.840 When did that happened? I usually timeframe things by either 0:16:27.920 --> 0:16:31.760 vacations I've taken or new experiences I've done. It's like, oh, yeah, 0:16:31.800 --> 0:16:34.400 well we went to you know, Florida in two thousand 0:16:34.480 --> 0:16:38.400 and eleven, and then we went to you know, Italy 0:16:38.520 --> 0:16:42.200 and two thousand eighteen nineteen. So that is interesting because 0:16:42.400 --> 0:16:46.160 I never I'm never like, oh, yeah, we uh we 0:16:46.320 --> 0:16:50.440 got coffee uh in two thousand and twelve. So it's 0:16:50.440 --> 0:16:52.960 always new experiences that I look back upon and really 0:16:53.000 --> 0:16:56.840 like kind of make the markings in my life, you know. Okay, 0:16:56.840 --> 0:17:00.480 speaking speaking speaking of there's probably a place to have 0:17:00.520 --> 0:17:04.159 this conversation. But your honeymoon, you and actually went to Italy, right, yeah, 0:17:04.240 --> 0:17:07.480 Italy Increase. It was amazing. Wait, that's actually hilarious. So 0:17:07.520 --> 0:17:09.280 Caitlin and I are planning a trip, well that plan 0:17:09.440 --> 0:17:12.160 she's planning a trip for the end of summer early 0:17:12.200 --> 0:17:14.600 autumn to Italy in Greece. So we need to pick 0:17:14.600 --> 0:17:18.040 your brain at some point. And u is the most 0:17:18.040 --> 0:17:21.960 beautiful place on earth. So yeah, I've been to Santorini. 0:17:22.000 --> 0:17:25.320 It's just it's just so crowded. Yes, but I mean 0:17:25.880 --> 0:17:30.800 depending on we also went in when was our wedding August, 0:17:30.800 --> 0:17:32.920 so we went well, I guess we went late August, 0:17:33.040 --> 0:17:36.640 so that is probably high vacation time, and it was crowded, 0:17:36.640 --> 0:17:38.800 but it wasn't crazy. And the hotel that we stayed at, 0:17:39.119 --> 0:17:41.919 I think it was called East West or West East, 0:17:42.119 --> 0:17:46.400 one of those two, and it was beauty full. Uh. 0:17:46.440 --> 0:17:49.159 And it was probably like a ten minute drive to 0:17:49.640 --> 0:17:52.119 you know, the main area where you see all the 0:17:52.119 --> 0:17:55.560 pictures from Santorini. Uh, dude, pick our brain, man, There's 0:17:55.600 --> 0:17:57.200 so many places we can get I'm not even joking, 0:17:57.240 --> 0:17:59.160 Ashley and I will give you all of our recommendations. 0:17:59.200 --> 0:18:02.959 The place that was that we absolutely loved. So my 0:18:02.960 --> 0:18:05.520 big question marks we have are around Italy. Will ask 0:18:05.520 --> 0:18:08.760 you about Italy more so Thanase. But yeah, we stayed across. 0:18:08.840 --> 0:18:11.680 We stayed in Positano, but like across from Positano, because 0:18:11.680 --> 0:18:15.600 Positano is beautiful. But you like you talk about crowds, 0:18:15.680 --> 0:18:21.200 that place is packed. But we stayed like across from Positano. 0:18:21.440 --> 0:18:23.399 So we had to take a boat there which was cool, 0:18:23.520 --> 0:18:26.359 and our our hotel resort was like much more quiet. 0:18:26.560 --> 0:18:28.800 It was great. Anyhow, we don't have to talk about 0:18:28.840 --> 0:18:31.080 this all the time to make people jealous. I am 0:18:31.119 --> 0:18:32.879 excited to travel once again. But we do have some 0:18:32.960 --> 0:18:34.679 very special guests that are coming up right now from 0:18:34.720 --> 0:18:38.159 the brand new t l c SU series You Me 0:18:38.400 --> 0:18:42.400 and My Ex Sundays at ten pm. It is John, April, 0:18:42.600 --> 0:18:46.679 John's ex wife Lauren, and Roy, who is April's ex husband, 0:18:46.680 --> 0:18:49.520 and they all live on the same street together and 0:18:49.680 --> 0:18:53.159 they all hang out together, and they're all divorced but 0:18:53.200 --> 0:18:57.280 now dating each other and there's kids involved. It's pretty crazy. 0:18:57.520 --> 0:18:59.320 But before we go to break, Jared, I want to 0:18:59.359 --> 0:19:03.639 talk to you about this story that's been making headlines 0:19:03.640 --> 0:19:05.440 and started interrupt you there, but we have to talk 0:19:05.480 --> 0:19:10.520 about it. It's Nick Cannon and he is going crazy. 0:19:10.680 --> 0:19:13.520 He you know, I'm gonna have a testofsterone, but Nick 0:19:13.520 --> 0:19:15.960 Cannon absolutely not. So he just had a seventh child. 0:19:16.520 --> 0:19:18.560 Tell me the story, Jared, because I I am so 0:19:18.640 --> 0:19:20.359 flabbergast about what's going on. I might not even be 0:19:20.359 --> 0:19:22.240 put at my head around it. Tell me what's going on. Well, listen, 0:19:22.280 --> 0:19:25.159 it was just Father's Day, so let's do a Father's 0:19:25.240 --> 0:19:29.600 Day tribute to Nick Cannon who just had who was 0:19:29.680 --> 0:19:34.600 having his seventh baby. So he posted about it. Uh, 0:19:34.680 --> 0:19:36.800 you know, he's obviously the host of the mess singer 0:19:37.440 --> 0:19:43.200 um so his his girlfriend is named Alyssa and they 0:19:43.280 --> 0:19:49.840 said that they're pregnant with Nick's seventh child. He had 0:19:50.160 --> 0:19:55.080 three babies in less than a year. That's crazy. He 0:19:55.119 --> 0:20:00.879 has three babies with Brittany Bell. They have Powerful Queen Cannon, 0:20:01.440 --> 0:20:05.520 who's six months old. They have son Golden Cannon, who's four, 0:20:06.040 --> 0:20:10.040