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Speaker 1: Today if up by accidentally turning myself in.

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Speaker 2: From manner mad.

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Speaker 1: But there has been a manner in this room?

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Speaker 2: Who done it? Who done it? Okay, how do you

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Speaker 2: accidentally do that?

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Speaker 1: Uh? You know? Your your wife acting up? And then

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Speaker 1: you're like, I want the estate to myself, and the

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Speaker 1: butler's conveniently around the corner right, push her down the stairs,

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Speaker 1: right dead, and then you blame it on the butler. Right.

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Speaker 1: Your whole family comes and they're like, what the hell happened?

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Speaker 1: You're like, well, the butler did it. And the butler's like,

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Speaker 1: I did no such thing. Missus. Theodore was my love

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Speaker 1: and my darling, and we had a secret affair for

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Speaker 1: forty three years. And then you're mad. You kill the butler. Oh,

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Speaker 1: the butler dead down the stairs. The body of the

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Speaker 1: of your wife isn't even gone. Butler dead next to

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Speaker 1: the on top of the wife. Yeah, new suspicions mounting. Wow,

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Speaker 1: your family, and it's like, okay, you must be the

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Speaker 1: killer the butler, your wife. You're done. You throw yourself

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Speaker 1: down the stairs three for three stairs, three people zero

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Speaker 1: and then you turn yourself in, turn yourself in dead.

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Speaker 2: Ghosts.

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Speaker 3: I see I was a ghost he thought he was

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Speaker 3: going to McDonald's and he said, I want a burger.

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Speaker 3: He actually drove to the police station and said, I

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Speaker 3: did a mad Oh Sprat's not again.

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Speaker 1: No, my dyslexia strikes once more.

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Speaker 2: I thought police said McDonald's.

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Speaker 1: This happened a few years ago. I was driving a

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Speaker 1: quiet residential neighborhood late at night, trying to get to

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Speaker 1: a friend's house. Everyone on the streets had their garbage

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Speaker 1: recycling bends out, and one was knocked over with everything

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Speaker 1: spilling out. I tried to dodge it, but I felt

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Speaker 1: my car go over a bump. As I looked in

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Speaker 1: the rear view mirror, I see something that looks like

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Speaker 1: an animal who immediately star And as soon as I

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Speaker 1: open the door, I am hit by the smell of

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Speaker 1: a skunk. Oh god, skunk smells no good.

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Speaker 2: Have you smelled skunk before? Have you not? No? Do

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Speaker 2: they not?

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Speaker 1: Do they have skunks in Florida?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 2: You know, I don't know if they do or don't.

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Speaker 2: But I've just evaded. I've evaded.

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Speaker 1: Well, I've like, I've like definitely, I mean a dozen times.

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Speaker 2: Maybe, Wow, that's a lot.

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Speaker 1: Although although, all right, maybe I'm rewriting some history right now,

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Speaker 1: because history. Yeah, like my parents whenever they would like

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Speaker 1: smell skunk stuff, like, oh wow, there's a skunk in

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Speaker 1: the area again. But what if it was just a weed,

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Speaker 1: like some really like skunk weed.

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Speaker 3: And you because you have to talk in code, right,

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Speaker 3: you can't just say to your kid like, here's some marijuaa.

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Speaker 2: I guess weed you can kind of get away with.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, but my parents didn't want me to know

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Speaker 1: what weed. I was sheltered. They don't know what some skunk, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: some skunk, Like how many times is it actually a skunk?

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Speaker 1: And how many times is it weed? Dude? Now like, no, no,

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I'm time to go back into the timeline and they

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Speaker 3: out damn this whole whiteboard.

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Speaker 1: Wow, Like I'm just coming to that realization now, okay,

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Speaker 1: all right, anyway.

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Speaker 3: While sam reevaluates his entire childhood, he's going to tell

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Speaker 3: you the story.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, all right. I immediately stop and as soon as

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Speaker 1: I open the door, I him hit by the smell

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Speaker 1: of a skunk. Once I confirm it's dead, I get

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Speaker 1: back in my car and start freaking out. I've never

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Speaker 1: hit anything before, and the idea that I just killed

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Speaker 1: something in cord blood hits me hard. I call my

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Speaker 1: friend to tell him I'll be a little bit late,

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Speaker 1: and as soon as he picks up, I start bawling

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Speaker 1: my eyes out. I try to tell him what happened

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Speaker 1: as best I can while crying. My friend asks if

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Speaker 1: I want him to call someone, and I say yes.

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Speaker 1: I'm thinking he means the city or whoever you call

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Speaker 1: to report roadkill. I tell him exactly where I am

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Speaker 1: and he tells me to stay put and he'll call

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Speaker 1: me right back.

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Speaker 3: Oh no, this this guy is overreacting. He'd rain over

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Speaker 3: a skunk.

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Speaker 2: It happens.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it happens. You don't need to call anyone.

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Speaker 2: He's just bawling his eyes out.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. Less than ten minutes go by, and

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Speaker 1: I hear sirens shortly after, police pull him behind me.

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Speaker 1: Ambulance and fire arrive shortly after. Now it's close to

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Speaker 1: one am and people are starting to come out of

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Speaker 1: their houses and the street is packed. Police officers are

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Speaker 1: telling me to roll down my windows and look around

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Speaker 1: my car. Paramedics and firefighters are doing the same thing.

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Speaker 1: Bear in mind the horrendous smell they're all dealing with.

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Speaker 1: They get to my window, and I'm still crying but

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Speaker 1: extremely confused. So I start to tell them what happened,

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Speaker 1: and they and they keep asking where is he?

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Speaker 2: Where's the skunk?

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Speaker 1: Where's the body? I get out and point to the skunk,

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Speaker 1: and then all hell breaks with God. They start yelling

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Speaker 1: at me, asking if I'm branking them and telling me

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Speaker 1: I committed a crime. Between their just disparagement, I realized

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Speaker 1: that they were responding to a homicide.

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Speaker 3: You're telling me it wasn't like the president skunk that

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Speaker 3: he just imagined, Like the CIA comes like you have

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Speaker 3: killed the President's secret skunk.

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Speaker 1: You are imagining it's like, you know, like how the

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Speaker 1: turkey gets pardoned by the government, like a skunk get

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Speaker 1: pardons by the government, and she just killed the pardon skunk. Dude, dude,

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Speaker 1: you can't kill a pardon skunk. Between their disparagements, I

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Speaker 1: realized they were spunning through a homicide. I called my

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Speaker 1: friend and realized that he thought I killed someone, and

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Speaker 1: so he goes and instantly calls the police, like he

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Speaker 1: doesn't even like confirm to check. Dude, You're just like, Yo,

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Speaker 1: my friend just killed someone, pick her up, arrest her.

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Speaker 1: Some friend. Dang, some friend, bro.

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Speaker 2: Real just gets stitches, okay.

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Speaker 1: In my distress state, all he could make out was

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Speaker 1: oh my god, I hit him. He's dead, Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: and lots of crying and swearing. The mix up had

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Speaker 1: to be explained to everyone around, including the neighbors that

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Speaker 1: came outside. Police were pissed off and gave me a

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Speaker 1: very long lecture, but ultimately decided not to charge me

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Speaker 1: the kicker. One of the neighbors heard the story and

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Speaker 1: gave me an odd look and said, the skunk's been

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Speaker 1: there a few hours. They already left the message about it.

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Speaker 1: The bump was from the spilled recycling. The police get

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Speaker 1: mad again and eventually killed me to leave. So you

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Speaker 1: didn't even kill a skunk.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: All in all, it was a valuable learning experience to

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Speaker 1: text when I'm crying instead of calling.

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Speaker 2: You just can't you can't overreact that. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but it's a skunk, bro.

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Speaker 3: But also the friend, dude, honestly, friend, what is the friend?

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Speaker 1: I think the friend has it out for opie, like

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Speaker 1: to all the police and say, yeah, my friend just

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Speaker 1: murdered someone, like without asking any if I called.

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Speaker 3: You in that like same fashion, Like what would you

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Speaker 3: do would you call the police on me?

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Speaker 1: I would ask like what's actually going on and what happened?

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Speaker 2: Who is the person?

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Speaker 1: What do you want me to do?

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Speaker 3: Also, it's like I just killed like like it sounded

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Speaker 3: the friends I said like, oh he's dead.

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Speaker 2: He's dead. It's like who's dead? Like what can you

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Speaker 2: make out? Like what's yeah? What's the situation?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, give me more contacts? Right, he's dead police, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Like I would ask you like what you wanted to do?

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Speaker 1: And then like also it's reported as a homicide. It's

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Speaker 1: not even like a hit and run or like an

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Speaker 1: like manslaughter, Like the friend is like, Yo, my friend

152
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Speaker 1: just murdered someone, not even like it was an accident,

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Speaker 1: like that friend has it out for you.

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Speaker 3: I wonder if I wonder if maybe it was a

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Speaker 3: game of telephone where it's like the person that killed

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Speaker 3: the skunk told him and there's like, oh, he like

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Speaker 3: he hit someone or something, and then that person goes

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Speaker 3: and calls the police and they're like, oh he killed someone. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: And then they came out with you're right, the friend

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Speaker 3: is suspicious.

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Speaker 1: Friend is suspicious. Friend does not have your best intentions

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Speaker 1: as hard leave him, leave them