Speaker 1: Hey, guys, welcome to the Joy one to one podcast. Okay,
Speaker 1: imagine this for a second. You're a kid and you
Speaker 1: love dancing so much that you go into a competition
Speaker 1: called so you think you can dance, and you're nervous
Speaker 1: and your palms are sweaty, and you get out on
Speaker 1: stage and you wind up finishing twentyeth Okay, what would
Speaker 1: you say to yourself?
Speaker 2: Huh?
Speaker 1: I wonder if this is for me? I wonder if
Speaker 1: I should keep doing this. Well, my next guest didn't
Speaker 1: just keep doing that. My next guest wound up on
Speaker 1: Broadway and was Tony nominated. My next guest wound up
Speaker 1: in a musical, A Steven Spielberg musical, nominated for an
Speaker 1: Academy Award, and won the Oscar. How about that. Ariana
Speaker 1: Debos is the person who I am talking about. She
Speaker 1: is an actress who grew up with a single mom,
Speaker 1: loving dance. She danced since she was three, and she
Speaker 1: was one of those people who knew what her calling was.
Speaker 1: Imagine knowing so much that no matter how many times
Speaker 1: people hit you down, no matter how many times someone
Speaker 1: said no, not you, there are nineteen other people better
Speaker 1: than you at this dance competition. Imagine that you come back,
Speaker 1: and imagine that you get Tony nominated and you are
Speaker 1: Oscar nominated and you win the Oscar. I mean, there
Speaker 1: are so many people who are in that category. They
Speaker 1: don't win earlier in life, but as life rolls on,
Speaker 1: their winnings come. So this is a fascinating conversation about resilience,
Speaker 1: about bouncing back, about what is possible, about the heights
Speaker 1: you can reach. All of these things Ariana Debos possesses.
Speaker 1: So I hope you enjoyed this conversation. First of all,
Speaker 1: I'm so happy to have you here.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 1: I met you many many years ago on the Today
Speaker 1: Show when you were just kind of breaking out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you've since become Tony nominated, Oscar winner and all the things.
Speaker 1: But I want to just hit on something you just said.
Speaker 1: You went on a solo vacation, and that to me
Speaker 1: stands out because it takes courage, it takes moxie. I think,
Speaker 1: did it for you, Like, tell me why you wanted
Speaker 1: to take a solo vacation and what that did for you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I'd never been on one, yeah, and
Speaker 2: I was I'm thirty five now, so I would have
Speaker 2: been thirty four. Yeah, and I was like, this feels crazy. Yeah.
Speaker 2: And I had this realization right before I decided to
Speaker 2: go there was like, all I've done is work. I
Speaker 2: don't know that ever ever really taken a proper vacation. Like,
Speaker 2: I'm someone who believes in me time, and I believe
Speaker 2: in finding those tools to help yourself unwind. And I
Speaker 2: have them, but not outside of the context of what
Speaker 2: it is I need to do for myself in order
Speaker 2: to be able to keep working.
Speaker 1: So this is fill the tank to work. Fill the tank,
Speaker 1: fill the tank to work. Got it? Okay?
Speaker 2: And I was like, I need to go fill the
Speaker 2: tank to live. So I was like, I'm gonna go
Speaker 2: to Greece.
Speaker 1: So you got a ticket, I got it, got a hotel.
Speaker 2: I got a hotel, and like walked around Athens.
Speaker 1: Okay, first you check into your hotel. There you are
Speaker 1: in your room. You're hungry, yes, So do you go downstairs?
Speaker 1: Do you go to a restaurant? Oh?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 2: I go for a walk for well, I opened the
Speaker 2: bottle of rosece.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: I ordered to be in my room and I had
Speaker 2: a little many many moment for myself and then I
Speaker 2: went for my nice little stroll and what was that
Speaker 2: like fabulous? Well, it's the area was great, but it's
Speaker 2: just taking the architecture and energy. And I was like,
Speaker 2: I will have this panic op the gorgeous like and
Speaker 2: then you I bopped into just a lovely restaurant that
Speaker 2: I don't know the name of, but it looked so
Speaker 2: beautiful and idyllic and the people couldn't have been more lovely.
Speaker 4: So you sat enjoyed me out and I literally just said,
Speaker 4: I'll have the special And it was this family cabbage
Speaker 4: recipe with this beautiful lemon sauce on it.
Speaker 1: Oh God, that sounds so good with sit with a
Speaker 1: book with headphones, with anything, or.
Speaker 2: Is it just you that particular evening, it was just
Speaker 2: me and I forced myself to like listen to the
Speaker 2: space I was in and not be afraid of people
Speaker 2: making eye contact, or not being afraid of having a conversation,
Speaker 2: or not being afraid of the fact that I don't
Speaker 2: speak Greek.
Speaker 1: You know, that's so cool. Was were you anxious or
Speaker 1: did you just kind of fall into it?
Speaker 2: I fell into it, Like I think it's natural to
Speaker 2: have a little bit of anxiety, but I am a
Speaker 2: naturally curious person and I'm very curious as an artist,
Speaker 2: so I just needed to sort of reacc climate. I'm like,
Speaker 2: I'm in a new space. It's okay for you to
Speaker 2: feel the nerves of newness. Like there. That made sense
Speaker 2: to me, and I love that.
Speaker 1: You never know what can happen. You just sparked a
Speaker 1: memory for me, which is so interesting. So when I
Speaker 1: was working at a small station in Florida, I had
Speaker 1: just broken up with my boyfriend. I was like, ah,
Speaker 1: So I decided I was just going to drive from
Speaker 1: Fort Myers n Apriles, which was my place, and I just
Speaker 1: drove to I was going to drive to the key.
Speaker 1: So I came to the first key, Key Largo, and
Speaker 1: I found a hotel and I checked in and for
Speaker 1: some reason, I won't forget it. I was like, I
Speaker 1: took a shower in the beautiful everything, the beautiful towels
Speaker 1: and all this stuff, and I went and by then
Speaker 1: it was late. It was almost like eleven at night,
Speaker 1: So I'm going to go for a walk. I went
Speaker 1: for a walk. There was a fishing boat and they
Speaker 1: said we're going. It was a full moon and they
Speaker 1: said we're going on a midnight fishing thing. Will you
Speaker 1: come we need one more to round out this group.
Speaker 1: So I went and I remember I was like it
Speaker 1: was midnight. The moon was so bright, it was like
Speaker 1: it was light on the water. We were fishing. The
Speaker 1: first fish got a bud light or whatever.
Speaker 2: Fierce.
Speaker 1: Well, we came back to shore. They set up a
Speaker 1: barbecue and they grilled the fish that we caught, And
Speaker 1: I remembered thinking, what an awesome option. Yeah, sometimes trying
Speaker 1: something new is the best. What did you learn about
Speaker 1: yourself or was there something that came out from this
Speaker 1: adventure for you?
Speaker 2: It was a really good reminder that I'm capable of
Speaker 2: doing things on my own, Yeah, and being fully independent.
Speaker 1: Yes, you know.
Speaker 2: I think it's the higher I've traveled of the ischelons
Speaker 2: of entertainment. It's like you're it's just kind of how
Speaker 2: it feels. So your teams get bigger, you have more
Speaker 2: people working on your behalf, and and it is in
Speaker 2: theory really great to have other people doing so many
Speaker 2: things for you so that you can just focus on
Speaker 2: the craft. But I can be fully honest and acknowledging
Speaker 2: like kind of made me a little lazy.
Speaker 1: It's a very good observation.
Speaker 2: I was like, ooh, and I even and to this day,
Speaker 2: even post that trip, I like really check myself on
Speaker 2: when I'm starting to lay back right let other people
Speaker 2: make decisions for you, Yeah, because it's really it's.
Speaker 1: More than just doing it. It's like making decisions about
Speaker 1: your life for you.
Speaker 2: Yes, being an active participant in the life that you
Speaker 2: are creating, in the career that you want to have.
Speaker 2: Like it's such a nice notion to think that you know,
Speaker 2: there's overnight success and then you know it just sort
Speaker 2: of magically continues to happen. It doesn't. It takes a
Speaker 2: lot of work. And I do my best work when
Speaker 2: I'm aligned, like spiritually and living truly living and going
Speaker 2: out and experiencing the spontaneity of life helps me stay aligned.
Speaker 1: I love all of this. I love your story from
Speaker 1: its inception, from the beginning, and I try to imagine
Speaker 1: you as a three year old who loves dance, You
Speaker 1: and your mom, the two of you kind of against
Speaker 1: the world. What was it like being part of that
Speaker 1: duo of you and your mom.
Speaker 2: I was the greatest. It was just the greatest. I mean,
Speaker 2: we really had to rely on each other in different ways,
Speaker 2: and in my childhood, I don't know that I was
Speaker 2: fully cognizant of what that was. I just knew that
Speaker 2: this was my mom and we had a special relationship,
Speaker 2: and she was supposed to take care of me. But
Speaker 2: I did learn how to take care of her too,
Speaker 2: whether that be energetically or just her teaching me how
Speaker 2: to do my chores and me participating was part of
Speaker 2: me helping to take care of her, and I loved that.
Speaker 2: I loved that part of it. And even when things
Speaker 2: were tough, because there were plenty of moments in our
Speaker 2: life together that were exceptionally challenging, we always found a
Speaker 2: way through, and we found the way through together.
Speaker 1: What made it challenging? What were the challenging bits?
Speaker 2: You know, my mom was a public school teacher, so
Speaker 2: finances weren't always abundant, even though they should be. Please
Speaker 2: pay our educators and please let them actually teach something
Speaker 2: besides those really and authentic textbooks. But I digress and dance,
Speaker 2: or at least the kind of dance I was doing,
Speaker 2: you know, studio Dancing at a studio was expensive, and
Speaker 2: so I was really blessed, We were really blessed that
Speaker 2: there were people that came into the path who would
Speaker 2: would help us whether that be. You know. I remember
Speaker 2: the day I walked into a dance stat of numer
Speaker 2: and I met the owner and there was a television
Speaker 2: that was playing the tape, Oh my god, the VHS
Speaker 2: tape the guys. It's VHS tape of their recital from
Speaker 2: the last year. And I was staring at it and
Speaker 2: they were doing a number to that song Devil in
Speaker 2: the Blue Dress, which I don't know if young people
Speaker 2: should really be dancing that song because they were very
Speaker 2: very young. But I started figuring out the steps.
Speaker 1: Oh, watching this.
Speaker 2: Watching it, and in about ten minutes, I had figured
Speaker 2: out how to do a timestep. And I was five.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's I learned. Was not normal for
Speaker 2: a five year old. And she talked to me and
Speaker 2: she was like, had you ever learned to do that before?
Speaker 2: I was like, no, I just did it right then.
Speaker 2: And she turned to my mind. She was like, I
Speaker 2: would like to help you. I would like to teach her,
Speaker 2: and so, you know, they essentially kind of scholarshiped me,
Speaker 2: and that was the beginning of me learning what uh
Speaker 2: not what generosity looked like, you know, because she just
Speaker 2: wanted to help help me learn. Her name was Doriy
Speaker 2: Lightham Benners. Yeah, she was my first sort of introduction
Speaker 2: of generosity. I believe she's still living in New Vern,
Speaker 2: North Carolina. Cool.
Speaker 3: Cool.
Speaker 1: Did you have music in your house?
Speaker 3: Like? How?
Speaker 1: What do you mean that came to you? Still trying
Speaker 1: to comprehend. Is that just something inside you that just come.
Speaker 2: I've always loved music. We played music in our home
Speaker 2: all the time, and we were living with my grandmother,
Speaker 2: and that would have been like pre five. There was
Speaker 2: a lot of a lot of Roddy McDowell. I don't
Speaker 2: know if you've ever heard of Ronnie McDowell, but he
Speaker 2: was heavily influenced by Elvis. So he had a lot
Speaker 2: of Ronnie McDowell, a lot of Elvis, a lot of
Speaker 2: anything from the Motown record label. Yeah, a lot of
Speaker 2: sixties music, a lot of beach music. So I loved
Speaker 2: like big sounds, and I love strings, and I love harmonies,
Speaker 2: and I like, you know, this sounds so crazy, But
Speaker 2: when we would go visit my great grandmother, who was
Speaker 2: alive until I was about I think I think I
Speaker 2: must have been in seventh grade. So I was very
Speaker 2: grateful to have that relationship with her. Her name was
Speaker 2: Lorena Wheeler Henry, and she was a fabulous lady. But
Speaker 2: we would go visit her at her house in Atkinson,
Speaker 2: North Carolina, and nine times out of ten on Sundays
Speaker 2: there were reruns of Lawrence Well playing, and I really,
Speaker 2: like I should have known, I was queer. I really
Speaker 2: loved watching all the beautiful ladies dance and it wasn't
Speaker 2: of course, it wasn't American Bandstand, but I also loved that. Yes,
Speaker 2: like I realized, or in my adulthood, I realized that's
Speaker 2: where I began to love just watching people dance and
Speaker 2: the joy it brought them and how comfortable they felt
Speaker 2: and they moved, yeah, when they moved, And I loved
Speaker 2: watching how their dresses moved or or I'd ask questions
Speaker 2: like why is she wearing that she can't move her legs.
Speaker 2: It's a little too tight.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, exactly. So for you to go on the show,
Speaker 1: so you think you can dance and to come in
Speaker 1: you made it through the first round, but you were
Speaker 1: I think you were eliminated.
Speaker 2: Oh, eliminated first week host.
Speaker 1: It was awesome. So here's my question, because a lot
Speaker 1: of people who might have faced that elimination no matter
Speaker 1: what the competition or whatever it was, would have thought,
Speaker 1: you know what, maybe this was something in my head
Speaker 1: that I was good at. But in reality, there are
Speaker 1: already nineteen other kids were better than me on this
Speaker 1: one single show. How am I gonna make it? Yet
Speaker 1: you go on to be Tony nominated and win an Oscar?
Speaker 1: So at that moment, why did you continue?
Speaker 2: That is such a good question. It's never been posed
Speaker 2: to me like that, because I knew I was good,
Speaker 2: Like that is actually the long and the short of it.
Speaker 2: I knew I was good. This just wasn't my room.
Speaker 2: And if I'm really honest, kind of from the jump
Speaker 2: like it was something I really wanted to try and
Speaker 2: to pursue. And you know, like my mom would like
Speaker 2: always say, against my better judgment, I let her go,
Speaker 2: but she knew I needed to try. Uh huh. But
Speaker 2: I think as grateful as I am for that experience,
Speaker 2: I'm grateful for it in so many other ways because
Speaker 2: my instincts were kind of blaring from the moment I
Speaker 2: got to Los Angeles and I really liked the contestants
Speaker 2: and everything, but there was just something about that space
Speaker 2: for me that I was never able to relax, and
Speaker 2: I was always sitting forward, and now that I've continued
Speaker 2: my spiritual journey, I realized that's my instincts like kicking in,
Speaker 2: trying to tell me this may not be for me, right,
Speaker 2: isn't It's okay, this isn't your room, and that's all right.
Speaker 2: It will be a room for someone else.
Speaker 1: What was the first room that fit right for you
Speaker 1: that you were like, this is right, this is exactly right.
Speaker 2: I was in New York, I was nineteen, and I
Speaker 2: walked in, mind you, I didn't accept this job, but
Speaker 2: I walked in to audition for a non equity production
Speaker 2: of a chorus line and Bioorcally was conducting the auditions,
Speaker 2: and I couldn't have been more alive. I was sweating,
Speaker 2: I was I was just feeling like I dance so
Speaker 2: big and I've never felt more like It's funny because
Speaker 2: I wanted to say unstoppable, but it's not the same
Speaker 2: as in Vincent, But in that moment, I felt larger
Speaker 2: than lie why.
Speaker 1: Did you turn it down? Well?
Speaker 2: I got offered to bring it on the musical.
Speaker 1: Oh well, okay, and.
Speaker 2: I realized it was like I had it was the
Speaker 2: first time as a new adult because I considered myself
Speaker 2: a new adult where I had to use my critical
Speaker 2: thinking skills, and I really weighed what each job could
Speaker 2: bring me, and the reality of the situation was Bringing
Speaker 2: On presented an opportunity for even more growth because Bring
Speaker 2: It On had never had a Broadway production, And not
Speaker 2: only would I get to learn from an incredible director
Speaker 2: choreographer who felt like a new age Fossy, you know,
Speaker 2: Andy blancam Mueller, but I would get to work to
Speaker 2: help create a musical that might have a life after this.
Speaker 2: So I'd get to learn how to make a musical,
Speaker 2: participate and collaborate, and it potentially had even more job
Speaker 2: opportunity than this one show that I love so much
Speaker 2: and I still have yet to actually do a professional
Speaker 2: production of it could offer me at that time, and
Speaker 2: it was really hard. It was really hard to say no,
Speaker 2: I'm not going to go do a course signed with Bioercley.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 2: Part of me is like, what were you thinking?
Speaker 1: Wow? But look how your path was just right. I mean,
Speaker 1: you talk about your spiritual journey a couple of times,
Speaker 1: which is clearly your north star. It guides you. There
Speaker 1: are things pulling you. I'm sure it's like money convenience.
Speaker 1: This seems like a good thing by all those check boxes.
Speaker 1: And then there's our gut, which I think sometimes can
Speaker 1: mislead you because it's filled with all of your past
Speaker 1: mistakes too. You're like, I don't know't want that again. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but you have some other your spirits guiding you. So
Speaker 1: how do you decide? How does your spirit help you,
Speaker 1: you know, kind of navigate the road.
Speaker 2: You know, it's funny. Have you ever seen that movie
Speaker 2: Fools Russian?
Speaker 1: I haven't.
Speaker 2: Yes, I was like, it's a deep cut. I know
Speaker 2: you've seen this movie. But Salma's character talks a lot
Speaker 2: about signs, like she's very, very Catholic. But she's like, no,
Speaker 2: the signs are everywhere. It's a sign. And I used
Speaker 2: to think that I was just being like really superstitious.
Speaker 2: But my spirituality, of course, comes comes from a practice,
Speaker 2: whether it mean meditation or writing. And like I do, yes,
Speaker 2: I'm queen of a crystal. I have them all over
Speaker 2: my home, and I give myself the time to truly
Speaker 2: like heal, and like when I dance, I see and
Speaker 2: I see in colors and I feel in colors. And
Speaker 2: that's all part of my spirit thing that I got
Speaker 2: going on. I don't know, but there are signs everywhere.
Speaker 2: Yeah too. And I don't think that. I don't think
Speaker 2: that that it's convoluted to believe in that. But when
Speaker 2: my my solar plexus start going off, yeah, and my
Speaker 2: instincts kick in, and I also see the universe show
Speaker 2: me something, or play a song for me, or show
Speaker 2: me a photo of this thing that I'm thinking about
Speaker 2: bringing back to life. And I'm walking down the street
Speaker 2: and I have a meeting tomorrow. I'm like, that's a sign.
Speaker 1: That's what I was looking for.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was like, I just needed that that quick
Speaker 2: affirmation that that that I'm this is the right choice
Speaker 2: for me in this moment.
Speaker 1: I'm on the right pan.
Speaker 2: I'm on the right pan.
Speaker 1: Did that work for the Donna Summer Musical?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, oh yeah. She was just showing up everywhere.
Speaker 2: Couldn't escape her, didn't want to either, but yeah, her,
Speaker 2: her her songs, her call it her canon. The Summer
Speaker 2: Cannon kept just playing and I I mean, sure, there's
Speaker 2: the algorithm these days, and like your phone is listening
Speaker 2: to you probably, and it's very scary. But even just
Speaker 2: when I was out and about, i'd walk into a
Speaker 2: restaurant and that's what was playing.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So have jobs always come knocking. I feel like
Speaker 1: you're turning down things. You're following your wisdom. A lot
Speaker 1: of people have a handout saying, you know, I need
Speaker 1: this now or I'm in a dry spell. Did you
Speaker 1: ever have periods where you weren't working and it's not
Speaker 1: there's no shame in no. I I haven't had that.
Speaker 2: I can only think of one period of time. But
Speaker 2: I actively chose to take a break for a second.
Speaker 2: And it was between my second Broadway.
Speaker 1: Show and my third what were those two?
Speaker 2: Motown and Pippin' And it was around the time this
Speaker 2: is twofold go with me here?
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: So when I was doing Motown, I also realized there
Speaker 2: was something else in me that I wanted to explore.
Speaker 2: Because I was like, oh, I have this is a
Speaker 2: wonderful job. I'm learning so much. But I also was like,
Speaker 2: I think there's more in the tank. I think I
Speaker 2: have more to offer to I had chosen to start
Speaker 2: doing shows like I just off the whim emailed I
Speaker 2: believe was Joe's pub I don't know. In my brain,
Speaker 2: I thought it was a really great idea, and I
Speaker 2: was like, Hi, my name is Ario out to both
Speaker 2: and I would really like to play a show in
Speaker 2: your venue. Can you please let me know what you
Speaker 2: have available, just full out ask for what I wanted.
Speaker 2: What happened they responded were like, here's all of our availability.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. So yeah, so you went to Joe's Pub.
Speaker 2: So I played Joe's Pub and I would have and
Speaker 2: the experience of it was so thrilling but also terrifying
Speaker 2: because I was like, what was I thinking? I actually
Speaker 2: have to put butts in seats? How am I going
Speaker 2: to do that? I don't have a following, like and
Speaker 2: it was different because like Instagram and the followers of
Speaker 2: it all hadn't really taken off yet.
Speaker 1: So you were playing Joe's Pub, but.
Speaker 2: I was playing Joe's Pub, and I was figuring out, like, oh,
Speaker 2: I have to go and talk to people. I have
Speaker 2: to promote myself. And I realized that. I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: I'm highly uncomfortable with that.
Speaker 1: I don't how did that go as an experience and
Speaker 1: what was the like, what was a show at Joe's.
Speaker 2: It was fun, It was really fun. It was kind
Speaker 2: of all over the place, and that's looking back on it,
Speaker 2: I was like, well, that is kind of in line
Speaker 2: with me and my taste, Like I have very eclectic
Speaker 2: taste in music. We did a version of Oh my God,
Speaker 2: what was It? That also feels like so many years ago.
Speaker 2: But we did a Anina Simone tune and it was
Speaker 2: me and three of my friends, and I deliberately wanted
Speaker 2: us all to be so different. But then I also
Speaker 2: turned around and did a version of Annie Lennox is
Speaker 2: why all? I just put it all in the show.
Speaker 1: When you lin Manuel was a huge influence on you,
Speaker 1: and I think you said somewhere like it was so
Speaker 1: fun to see someone who was wildly successful and also kind.
Speaker 1: I mean, you knew that those two things could coach.
Speaker 2: They can't exist. They really can't.
Speaker 1: See someone who showed you that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well he's a ball of sunshine, you know. And
Speaker 2: he's just like this big adult nurse, And I think
Speaker 2: that helps them both hold on to his joy and
Speaker 2: his curiosity. That doesn't mean things don't get challenging for him.
Speaker 2: I know they have in the past, but it's just
Speaker 2: I think watching him navigate his own stardom and maintain
Speaker 2: his own sense of self and creativity and find new
Speaker 2: ways to kind of double down on his relationships, like
Speaker 2: his friendships, Like that's has been very inspirational to me
Speaker 2: to because it's challenging because you're walking your own journey,
Speaker 2: because it can feel very isolating when you're having a
Speaker 2: moment of success and people do what people do, and
Speaker 2: sometimes your success makes him uncomfortable, or sometimes people shift
Speaker 2: how they behave around you, or perhaps something shifting in you.
Speaker 1: It could be in all of those things.
Speaker 2: But he's kind of I think he'd be uncomfortable being
Speaker 2: called a north Star, but he's definitely like an inspiration
Speaker 2: point that you can do these things and it be okay.
Speaker 1: When Steven Spielberg calls yeah and says, hey, Ariana DeVos,
Speaker 1: we'd like you to be in West Side Story. We
Speaker 1: want you to play Anita, the role made famous by
Speaker 1: Rita Morano. That's a big That was a big.
Speaker 2: Ass Yeah did you say I just did the I
Speaker 2: still gulp really big and my eyes get very strange.
Speaker 2: Don't do crazy.
Speaker 1: That phone call? I mean that was a life changer.
Speaker 1: It was And did you were like you said? With Courseline,
Speaker 1: that's been made, there's a big shoes. It's a lot
Speaker 1: people have preconceived notions. Was there any part of you
Speaker 1: that was thinking, I don't know.
Speaker 2: Oh, I was terrified of this, absolutely terrifying for so
Speaker 2: many different reasons. But there also was something intuitively there
Speaker 2: as well, Like my instincts were alarm bells in the
Speaker 2: right way, like, girl, don't miss the exit. Take the exit,
Speaker 2: you need to take this exit, you need to take
Speaker 2: that phone call, you need to say yeah. Because I
Speaker 2: had fought it, I've talked about that a lot, like
Speaker 2: I didn't want to audition. I didn't want to, but
Speaker 2: then once I got there, I was like, man, this
Speaker 2: feels really right. Yeah, okay, so all of these things
Speaker 2: that I'm afraid of, clearly I need to experience that experience.
Speaker 2: And it's funny, I realized now it takes a lot
Speaker 2: of courage, and courage is not the absence of fear,
Speaker 2: but there's something bigger than it, you know, Like that
Speaker 2: is really courage, and I'm very proud that I was
Speaker 2: courageous enough to do it, to walk the path. But
Speaker 2: you know, it's also it's very hard to say, noticed Stevens.
Speaker 2: He's very persuasive, So was hesive with you honestly at
Speaker 2: that point, Like I had had a long well what
Speaker 2: I what felt like a long audition process, and we'd
Speaker 2: just had a very long final callback day and so
Speaker 2: I'd spent all day with him, and I felt like
Speaker 2: we kind of had found we found away with each other.
Speaker 2: How do you find a way with Steven Spielburg. But
Speaker 2: I felt good about my experience of him. And when
Speaker 2: I got that phone call, I was at a nail salon,
Speaker 2: so I wasn't really in a space to be like,
Speaker 2: absolutely not. I actually really was in a space to
Speaker 2: have conversation. But I just remember him talking and I
Speaker 2: remember him saying, I would like I would like to
Speaker 2: ask you to be may Anita. And I never forgot
Speaker 2: that he asked me to do it. Yeah, as opposed
Speaker 2: to telling me I was going to be it for him.
Speaker 1: That's so interesting.
Speaker 2: That felt very different to me. And of course I
Speaker 2: said yes, and I'm very glad I said yes. But
Speaker 2: that was that was crazy.
Speaker 1: Wow, a phone call at the nail salon.
Speaker 2: At the nail salon, okay, and I've really just gone
Speaker 2: because I'd been so busy trying to prep for my
Speaker 2: big final callback that my I was doing the Donna
Speaker 2: Semma musical at the time, and my nails were like Ratty. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and I felt like there have been a lady in
Speaker 2: the front row who kept staring at my ratty nails
Speaker 2: and I was like, cool, I can't do that. So
Speaker 2: I was in between shows at the nail salon, just
Speaker 2: trying not to be judged.
Speaker 1: So you were auditioning while you were doing a musical.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: By the way, for anybody who knows, doing a musical
Speaker 1: or anything on Broadway is screwling.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean it's eight shows a week. It's two on
Speaker 1: Wednesday and two on Saturday, Is that right?
Speaker 2: Yeah, normally you can. Then there are some crazy shows
Speaker 2: that are like you're gonna do a five show weekend.
Speaker 2: You're gonna do a two show Saturday, two shows Sunday,
Speaker 2: and then you're gonna cap it off with a Monday
Speaker 2: show too.
Speaker 1: Wow. But just imagine the time, energy and effort and
Speaker 1: heart for someone who loves with their craft so much.
Speaker 1: It goes into it. So in between that you were auditioning,
Speaker 1: you get that gig. So fast forward to you're a Wow,
Speaker 1: everyone's talking about you. How crazy are you? On the
Speaker 1: Today Show? We're like, girl, ah, you're so excited to
Speaker 1: see you as an Oscar nominee. Than an Oscar winner.
Speaker 1: You have an Academy award. Wait what I know?
Speaker 2: I know, hi bananas.
Speaker 1: What happened to your life as a result of that
Speaker 1: Academy award? Did it shift?
Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah?
Speaker 1: How so?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it shifted in lots of positive ways. And
Speaker 2: I think some of the greatest things that happened to
Speaker 2: us also rip us apart too joyfully. But uh, it'll
Speaker 2: show you where your foundations are not so solid.
Speaker 1: Yeah, tell me about that. That's very interesting.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I and it's funny. I meditate on it a lot,
Speaker 2: not just that like moment in time, but just about
Speaker 2: how these exceptionally joyful things like winning an Oscar can
Speaker 2: be so euphoric. But it also, at least in regards
Speaker 2: to my own experience, and invited a lot of opinion.
Speaker 2: I had to go through the process of kind of
Speaker 2: understanding that success can make you change if you let it.
Speaker 2: I worked very hard to try and keep my own,
Speaker 2: my own compass, very strong and very clear. But that
Speaker 2: doesn't mean that everyone around you has the best intentions.
Speaker 2: And when you're a loyalist like I am, sometimes it's
Speaker 2: very hard to cut chords. But I've also learned in
Speaker 2: my adulthood that you can cut chords lovingly, but that
Speaker 2: it was really challenging, and there was a moment where
Speaker 2: my own compass felt really cloudy, and I was like,
Speaker 2: why am I doing these things? Why am I saying
Speaker 2: yes to this job? What was the point of that?
Speaker 2: Why did I think that and not be and that
Speaker 2: sort of It's interesting because I think you can question
Speaker 2: why you said yes to something in the immediate and
Speaker 2: you can also question it in the aftermath because how
Speaker 2: our business is built. You can make the thing and
Speaker 2: then it takes time for it to come out, and
Speaker 2: not everything is going to be received how you receive
Speaker 2: it in your heart, and that's okay. I actually am
Speaker 2: someone who has made a lot of peace with that.
Speaker 2: But what I'm specifically talking about that sensation is I
Speaker 2: would make the decision to do something and then suddenly
Speaker 2: I was like hmm, but I didn't have the courage
Speaker 2: to say, you know what, actually I'm wrong. Actually, let
Speaker 2: me let me course correct. I didn't do it instead
Speaker 2: because I had this notion of and also it's something
Speaker 2: that I learned from childhood, like you honor your commitments
Speaker 2: and you see it through. You said you were going
Speaker 2: to do something you need to do it. But I
Speaker 2: do think there are these moments in your life where
Speaker 2: honoring your commitments. You have to honor your commitment to yourself. Yes,
Speaker 2: you know, yes, and that is that's tricky sometimes.
Speaker 1: So after an Oscar, when do all the scripts come
Speaker 1: rolling off the truck? Do people come up and say
Speaker 1: how about this? How about this? How about this?
Speaker 3: Or?
Speaker 1: Which is so funny because I interviewed Halle Berry not
Speaker 1: too long ago, and she said, when she won her Oscar,
Speaker 1: she said, she sort of thought that was going to happen. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and she said, and it didn't and she was surprised.
Speaker 1: So everybody's got a different experience what was yours.
Speaker 2: I did have opportunity, however, I would say I got
Speaker 2: offered a lot of what I felt like, we're limiting
Speaker 2: parts because I was known for, you know, the conversation
Speaker 2: around my words. Season had a lot to do with
Speaker 2: my own identity. I was offered a lot of queer parts,
Speaker 2: a lot of lesbian parts, a lot of which there's
Speaker 2: nothing wrong with that that it's great. I love us.
Speaker 2: I was offered, you know, many Spanish speaking roles, even
Speaker 2: though I spoke very openly about being a noose Kid. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I was like, I it and I love the language,
Speaker 2: but my journey with the language I'm learning. Maybe I'm
Speaker 2: not ready to do that for myself. So but what
Speaker 2: that showed me was they were paying attention to the conversation,
Speaker 2: but I hadn't teach them about my artistry. Even though
Speaker 2: I think Westside Story is one of the best examples
Speaker 2: of my own artistry and what I'm capable of it,
Speaker 2: I I don't know that I received opportunities that were
Speaker 2: always holy. How do you say wholly appropriate for my talent.
Speaker 2: I'm not someone who only wants to make movie musicals,
Speaker 2: but I'm not an artist that wants to play characters
Speaker 2: that have walked paths so closely to my own identity.
Speaker 1: They would you?
Speaker 2: Yeah, Otherwise what's the fun of being an actor?
Speaker 3: Ye?
Speaker 2: Like, I learned from my craft every day, and if
Speaker 2: there's if I'm playing parts that are just basically me
Speaker 2: joining up myself, honestly, I can go teach dance. Something
Speaker 2: I'm contemplating and Debbie Allen, any openings, I.
Speaker 1: Like your just how you navigate life just from listening.
Speaker 1: I'm listening to the work part, but the other parts
Speaker 1: so fascinating. To me, So, how do you start and
Speaker 1: end your day? I feel like the book ends of
Speaker 1: a day are pretty important. How you're gonna how the
Speaker 1: stuff in between goes? So what do you do? Tell me?
Speaker 2: I feel like good question.
Speaker 1: What do I do? Open your eyes?
Speaker 2: I open my eyes. I take five deep breaths. That
Speaker 2: that is something that's become very important to me to
Speaker 2: assess the state of my physical body.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: And I try to very deliberately put my feet on
Speaker 2: the ground to ground myself. And that is really the
Speaker 2: morning ritual. I grab a daily stone. I love that
Speaker 2: and I walk around the house with it in my
Speaker 2: morning and just like feel its energy as I'm doing
Speaker 2: my little chores. That's the morning.
Speaker 1: Are you a coffee person, water person.
Speaker 2: Tea person. I'm a tea person. I do have at
Speaker 2: least two cups of tea in the morning.
Speaker 1: Black.
Speaker 2: I like black tea. Wow, I'm so strange. Everything's fine, okay.
Speaker 2: I I try not to immediately grab electronics sometimes it's inevitable.
Speaker 2: But if I can have, if I can safeguard a
Speaker 2: little chunk of time that is electronics free, that's great.
Speaker 2: But my evening, I think is more interesting to me.
Speaker 2: I go for a walk. And I love sunset and
Speaker 2: sundown because I feel like as the sun is setting
Speaker 2: sort of, it tells it's telling me to chill out too.
Speaker 2: And it's become very important to me to like stay
Speaker 2: in tune with nature. I mean, given everything that's going
Speaker 2: on in the world, the best thing I can do
Speaker 2: for myself is to try and stay in tune with her, right,
Speaker 2: So that's very sacred to me. And then I do
Speaker 2: love a tea at night. I love my Moon Brew
Speaker 2: Vitamin Sleepy gummies and I take those at least two
Speaker 2: hours before I day and then sleep. I sleep right
Speaker 2: through the night. Good.
Speaker 1: I know this is not an ad.
Speaker 2: Are I love them gummies? Jesus sorry?
Speaker 1: Are you an early riser?
Speaker 2: Depends? I'm in a cycle right now where I love sleep.
Speaker 2: Oh good, Okay, Like I love sleep.
Speaker 3: But.
Speaker 2: Like post, if I'm coming off of a work trip,
Speaker 2: nine times out of ten for the next month, I
Speaker 2: will probably be up around five point forty five.
Speaker 1: Let's talk about the Carlisle. Oh yeah, where you're going
Speaker 1: to be performing Joe's Pup. You called up and said, hey,
Speaker 1: pick me, and they were like, well sure. Carlisle is
Speaker 1: one of those iconic New York spots that people have
Speaker 1: played there, from Sinatra all just through all of them.
Speaker 1: Tell me about you and the Carlisle and what you're
Speaker 1: going to be doing and what that's about.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm really jazzed about it. Yeah, I said it.
Speaker 2: I'm jazzed. It's the type of venue I've always wanted
Speaker 2: to play. There's something very romantic about the Carlisle to me,
Speaker 2: And it's funny I think about this just came to me,
Speaker 2: but it's a truth. Like Anita had her American dream,
Speaker 2: like her version of the American dream, and I realized,
Speaker 2: like part of my American dream was like playing a
Speaker 2: place like the Carlisle. Like that's what I could like
Speaker 2: imagine for myself, and I wanted to like it'd be
Speaker 2: a smaller spot, it'd be like moody and wear my
Speaker 2: pretty dress. Now, when I was first dringing that dream,
Speaker 2: I had no idea I'd have an undercut and break
Speaker 2: that would.
Speaker 1: Be my go to.
Speaker 2: But I couldn't feel more like in my body like
Speaker 2: I'm a very and even from the awards circuit to now,
Speaker 2: I feel like I've lived so many lives. So I'm
Speaker 2: excited to be playing the carlat a moment where I
Speaker 2: can bring the fullness of that life if I so
Speaker 2: choose to, which I will, because that's part of what
Speaker 2: makes me a good artist. But I'm excited to experiment
Speaker 2: marked the great Mark G. Meadows is going to be
Speaker 2: my music director. He's so fabulous. We did a moment
Speaker 2: at the Freely Fest, which is a very cool music
Speaker 2: festival that celebrates the First Amendment and the freedoms that
Speaker 2: it protects, especially for artists. But we sang Strange Fruit.
Speaker 2: He helped me put together a beautiful arrangement of Strange
Speaker 2: Fruit to talk about the importance of not only the song,
Speaker 2: but that moment in time and how it's That song
Speaker 2: is one of the greatest I think examples of how
Speaker 2: government interference can display into artistry. However, I digress. I
Speaker 2: absolutely fell in love with him, and so we're putting
Speaker 2: together a lovely jazz trio and I'm still deciding my
Speaker 2: set list. So if you have, if you have requests,
Speaker 2: I am all ears, but I'm sort of excited to
Speaker 2: kind of take it down and storytell a little bit.
Speaker 2: But also I'm in a space where I just want
Speaker 2: to put my feelings in the song.
Speaker 1: Oh I love it. September twenty ninth, By the way,
Speaker 1: September twenty night, we open.
Speaker 2: We played through October third.
Speaker 1: Oh you do. That's a good night.
Speaker 2: Five nights at the Carlos.
Speaker 1: That's a big deal. That's a big deal. You're also
Speaker 1: Scarpetta is another thing you got cooking. You and Jamie
Speaker 1: Lee Curtis have a vibe.
Speaker 2: We do best.
Speaker 1: What is Tell me about that relationship because Scarpetta involves
Speaker 1: Nicole kidman Jamie Lee Curtis, who's been pushing for this
Speaker 1: product forever, and you pop up in this and Jamie
Speaker 1: Lee was tapping you. Tell me about about your relationship
Speaker 1: with her.
Speaker 2: Well, our relationship sort of started when I handed her
Speaker 2: her Oscar, which sounds so crazy, insane, because the only reason, yeah,
Speaker 2: the only reason I was Therapi was because I've won
Speaker 2: a year prior. Things you don't, things you only dream
Speaker 2: of saying. But yeah, our relationship stems from that moment.
Speaker 2: And we met that night, and like you go through
Speaker 2: the backstage and like it's cool. I got to witness
Speaker 2: someone else go through what I went through in the
Speaker 2: immediacy after winning an Oscar, and I just it was
Speaker 2: so special to watch her walk that path, and I
Speaker 2: think she walked it really beautifully and bravely, and I
Speaker 2: just enjoyed her spirit, you know. And as we've gotten
Speaker 2: to know each other's like, she's lived quite the life.
Speaker 2: She's exceptionally why as she is joyful. The amount of
Speaker 2: joy that woman puts out in the world is really something,
Speaker 2: even when she may be feeling not so great. And
Speaker 2: I was like, we recognize that in each other at times.
Speaker 2: Is that you can still be a beacon of light,
Speaker 2: because sometimes putting more light into the world can help
Speaker 2: you refill your cup as it's happening. But that's where
Speaker 2: that originates. Nicole, Jamie and I make up this really
Speaker 2: cute little family trio of women Italian women. I don't know,
Speaker 2: but watch the show. It's pretty fun. And Jamie Lee
Speaker 2: Curtis plays my mother, Nicole Kidman plays my aunt. The
Speaker 2: show is called Scarpetta. Nicole Kidman plays Scarpetta. Everybody, Let's
Speaker 2: keep it real. Nicole Is does that another show. But
Speaker 2: it's so fun to hang out with these women and
Speaker 2: learn from them, and I look at it as another
Speaker 2: learning opportunity.
Speaker 1: I feel like you. I feel like a good trait
Speaker 1: you have is you are a good Picker like you
Speaker 1: pick good people.
Speaker 2: In your story.
Speaker 1: Picker's not broken. But I think having being able to
Speaker 1: select good people in your circle is one of the
Speaker 1: most important things you'll do. It is like, I mean,
Speaker 1: I feel like I pick good friends and I and
Speaker 1: I know my life is going to be good because
Speaker 1: of that. I make sure that the people who are
Speaker 1: in my orbit. And they say, you know, like you're
Speaker 1: the sum total of the five people you spend the
Speaker 1: most time with. So choose your friends wisely. Who is
Speaker 1: your two am phone call?
Speaker 2: Oh, three people just came to mind, which is great,
Speaker 2: lucky you. I consider them all best friends. One would
Speaker 2: be my best friend from high school who was my
Speaker 2: prom date. His name Jonathan. I have a friend Lauren,
Speaker 2: who is a budding Broadway producer, and she's brilliant and
Speaker 2: we've known each other for maybe four years, but we
Speaker 2: have the same birthday, oh, and a connection and a
Speaker 2: connection we really get each other. And then my friend Morgan,
Speaker 2: who I met on Scarpetta. Actually, isn't that.
Speaker 1: So, by the way, I love these kind of friendships. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because you can make dear friends all through life. It
Speaker 1: doesn't it doesn't have to be your childhood friend. Or
Speaker 1: your friends from school or whatever, or even your first job.
Speaker 2: It's funny. I have dear friends from every chapter of
Speaker 2: my life. I was just watching the new Jennifer Garner
Speaker 2: TV show, and it feels like she chose friends from
Speaker 2: different chapters of her life while she's going through this
Speaker 2: big life moment. And I'll tell you what, there's nothing
Speaker 2: like a big life moment. When my mom passed. The
Speaker 2: people that were around me, and there were really five
Speaker 2: dominant people, those are my people.
Speaker 1: When was your mom the proudest of you?
Speaker 2: Oh? Man? She was proud of me my whole life.
Speaker 2: I think she was proud every day that I survived,
Speaker 2: you know, in a world that can be so big,
Speaker 2: up against people who feel different or who are described
Speaker 2: as different, she was proud of the life I was living.
Speaker 2: That doesn't mean we didn't have our moments, of course,
Speaker 2: because that's mothers and daughters. But she was proud of
Speaker 2: what how I was walking through the world. I think
Speaker 2: she was shockedish when I you rewind, If you rewind
Speaker 2: in like freees frame on her face, you can see it.
Speaker 2: Who I remember hugging her and she was like, you
Speaker 2: got to get up there?
Speaker 1: Were you able? You said that there were struggles. What
Speaker 1: was the what was the funnest thing you got to
Speaker 1: do for your mom in terms of physically giving her something?
Speaker 2: Oh well, and she was someone who like didn't really
Speaker 2: want gifts, Like she wasn't really like that.
Speaker 1: That's not her language.
Speaker 2: It wasn't her language. Oh my gosh. It was more
Speaker 2: trips for us like that we out to a space
Speaker 2: where it's like I couldn't give her a gift that
Speaker 2: would really like encompass the moment, but I could give
Speaker 2: her an experience. And she was my date. Was she
Speaker 2: was my dake to the Oscars. But she had the
Speaker 2: most fun at HAMILTONI night when Hamilton won a lot
Speaker 2: of Tony's and we went to the after party and
Speaker 2: lor she Anda Jabos was living her whole life. She
Speaker 2: was dancing with Common. Pretty sure she was flirting with Common.
Speaker 2: Sorry if he was with somebody, but she was having
Speaker 2: a great time. She was like, that's Mariska Hartitaine then
Speaker 2: for sorry sake, But at some point we were all
Speaker 2: dancing and Marisia like said hi to my mom, and
Speaker 2: she was like this is great.
Speaker 1: I like this.
Speaker 2: Like she had a good time wherever she went, and
Speaker 2: that was the greatest.
Speaker 1: Well, I see all that. So she did good. So
Speaker 1: last question before we go, I always asked my guests,
Speaker 1: what's bringing you joy these days?
Speaker 2: The little things. The little things are bringing me joy
Speaker 2: these days, honestly, like every day that I get to
Speaker 2: wake up and open my eyes and take five breaths,
Speaker 2: that brings me such joy, the walks, noticing the flowers,
Speaker 2: like it really is. The ordinary things.
Speaker 1: To singing bring you joy.
Speaker 2: Of course it does. Sing and I've catched myself doing
Speaker 2: it without realizing I'm doing it.
Speaker 1: Like you did in here when we're.
Speaker 2: Like to me, singing now is talking like I will.
Speaker 2: I do this with my friends. Sometimes I don't realize
Speaker 2: I'm singing a song that I'm singing them a song
Speaker 2: that describes how I feel about them.
Speaker 1: Oh, sing me a song.
Speaker 2: You are so beautiful to me. I love you.
Speaker 1: I thank you for that, all right, Arianni. Since you
Speaker 1: and I are on the same kind of zen, We're
Speaker 1: both in this kind of zen sphere. I have an
Speaker 1: app called Joy one on one, in a company called
Speaker 1: Joy one on one, and we have a lot of
Speaker 1: great practitioners. So Blana Snow is gonna just bring us home.
Speaker 1: We've just got three minutes, so we're all going to
Speaker 1: chill out together. Should we try it?
Speaker 2: We should?
Speaker 1: Okay, let's try.
Speaker 3: My name is Wana Snow, and today I'm going to
Speaker 3: show you an evidence based breathwork practice that is proven
Speaker 3: to help you regulate your nervous system when you are
Speaker 3: in a high pressure moment, and it's called a psychological sigh.
Speaker 3: It's very simple and very powerful. You breathe into the
Speaker 3: nose two times and you'll exhale it out once through
Speaker 3: the mouth. Are you ready to try it with me?
Speaker 3: Breathe into your nose and then again and then sigh out.
Speaker 3: Let's try that again, breathing into the nose.
Speaker 2: Keep going so you can go slower.
Speaker 1: You don't have to go fast.
Speaker 3: In fact, I find that going slower helps our body
Speaker 3: catch up to the information our body's nervous system communicates
Speaker 3: through breath. So when we do a sigh as an
Speaker 3: exhale as a.
Speaker 1: Relief, it tells.
Speaker 3: Our brain and body that we are okay, that we're safe,
Speaker 3: and that we can let go. And that's why so
Speaker 3: often when we feel relief, we have a.
Speaker 1: Sigh of relief.
Speaker 3: So let's try it again together, breathing into the nose
Speaker 3: and again. I find that breathing out with a sound
Speaker 3: of relief has an.
Speaker 1: Extra working power.
Speaker 3: There's something about sound that also communicates to our brain
Speaker 3: and body that we have even more relief than we thought.
Speaker 3: Try it again, breathing into the nose and again.
Speaker 2: Let's do it one more time.
Speaker 3: This time, as you exhale, not only do you do
Speaker 3: a sigh of relief, but you'll also release it with
Speaker 3: your mouth with a sound, and then you will let.
Speaker 1: Your body feel the relief.
Speaker 2: Just like that.
Speaker 3: I want to try it together, breathing into the nose
Speaker 3: and again. Ah, it feels so much better. This is
Speaker 3: a practice that you can do in the moment. This
Speaker 3: is a practice. You can go to the bathroom, you
Speaker 3: can go to the corner and do it. Nobody notices
Speaker 3: or recognizes that it's a practice to relax your nervous system, and.
Speaker 1: Those that do they'll say, oh, good, idea, I should
Speaker 1: do it too.
Speaker 3: It's a beautiful, easy release for tension and stress, and
Speaker 3: it is proven to soften your body, release your tension,
Speaker 3: and help get you back into a rest and digest state.
Speaker 3: I hope this was helpful for you today, and I
Speaker 3: hope that you'll come back to this often whenever you
Speaker 3: need it. All right, I'll see you next time.
Speaker 1: Malana Snow, I'm so good. Love you girl, Love you.
Speaker 1: Thanks for doing that with me.
Speaker 2: I mustay I mistake