1 00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:06,120 Speaker 1: Hey, this Sandy, and welcome to Stuff I Never told 2 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:21,080 Speaker 1: your production of I Heart Radios. How Stuff works as 3 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:25,000 Speaker 1: we record this episode and as you are listening to it, 4 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:28,479 Speaker 1: if you're listening to it when it comes out into 5 00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:32,440 Speaker 1: your feed. UM, Mother's Day is approaching in the United 6 00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:36,720 Speaker 1: States and so I thought we would have our classic 7 00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:41,239 Speaker 1: update on Mother's Day. And as some of you know, 8 00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:45,440 Speaker 1: I one of the things I first did when I 9 00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:48,720 Speaker 1: got this job, of one of my prior things that 10 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:51,640 Speaker 1: I was working on was UM I was the producer 11 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:54,920 Speaker 1: of Stuff I Never told you videos. We used to 12 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:58,320 Speaker 1: have a YouTube show and I highly recommend checking it 13 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:00,800 Speaker 1: out if you if you haven't already. But one of 14 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:05,720 Speaker 1: the my favorite videos that we ever did was on 15 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:11,680 Speaker 1: the history of Mother's Day. And UM, because I love 16 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:18,119 Speaker 1: horror movies and m the old co host and creator 17 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:21,160 Speaker 1: stuff on the utility she she loves like reality shows, 18 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:23,400 Speaker 1: we did a really fun I think it was fun 19 00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:26,280 Speaker 1: mashup of like horror and reality show and it was 20 00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:32,160 Speaker 1: called Pine Holidays. This story is really really interesting and 21 00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:37,640 Speaker 1: UM I I recommend checking it out. And another thing 22 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:41,720 Speaker 1: I wanted to bring in here is that UM I 23 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:46,200 Speaker 1: also work on another podcast called Savor and one of 24 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:50,320 Speaker 1: the earlier episodes we did in our series and the 25 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:53,840 Speaker 1: show was um on brunch and Mother's Days, the second 26 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:57,240 Speaker 1: biggest day for brunch in the United States, and it 27 00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:00,640 Speaker 1: all started out as this whole like Bubba, give the 28 00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:04,680 Speaker 1: mother a day off from cooking and cleaning, and it's 29 00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:09,480 Speaker 1: just still still a very popular tradition for for people 30 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:13,440 Speaker 1: to take their mother's out for brunch. Also, I do 31 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:16,400 Speaker 1: want to recognize that this day can be difficult and 32 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:20,120 Speaker 1: triggering for people who have maybe not the best relationships 33 00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:23,240 Speaker 1: with their moms UM or don't have moms in their lives, 34 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:26,120 Speaker 1: or for people who want children but cannot have them. 35 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:29,360 Speaker 1: We see you and we're thinking about you. I hope 36 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:32,480 Speaker 1: that you enjoy this classic episode about the history of 37 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:39,799 Speaker 1: Mother's Day. Welcome to Stuff Mom Never Told You from 38 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:47,200 Speaker 1: how Stuffworks dot Com. Hello, and welcome to the podcast. 39 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:51,600 Speaker 1: I'm Kristen and I'm Caroline, and happy upcoming Mother's Day 40 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:55,520 Speaker 1: to all of our mother's listening and to my mother 41 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:59,840 Speaker 1: even though she's not listening yet. Same here. UM. I 42 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:04,440 Speaker 1: was so surprised that even though Stuff Mom Never Told 43 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:08,520 Speaker 1: You has been in existence in podcast land since two 44 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:14,880 Speaker 1: thousand nine, we've never done an episode on Mother's Day. Crazy, 45 00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:18,840 Speaker 1: I know. So no time like the present, right, because 46 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:22,400 Speaker 1: Mother's Day is right around the corner. And let's start 47 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:24,760 Speaker 1: with just a snapshot of Mother's day to day and 48 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:29,720 Speaker 1: then talk about where Mother's Day came from, because it's fabulous. 49 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:34,760 Speaker 1: It's yeah, really interesting origins and a really grumpy originator. Yes, 50 00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:38,080 Speaker 1: So just to give you an idea of how big 51 00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:41,720 Speaker 1: Mother's Day is today. In two thousand eleven, in the 52 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:47,040 Speaker 1: United States alone, spending was expected to reach sixteen point 53 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:50,560 Speaker 1: three billion dollars, with the average adults spending more than 54 00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:53,160 Speaker 1: a hundred and forty dollars on gifts, according to the 55 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:57,120 Speaker 1: National Retail Federation, which one forty dollars on gifts makes 56 00:03:57,160 --> 00:04:00,160 Speaker 1: me feel like a very cheap daughter. Yeah, I go 57 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:04,120 Speaker 1: big on her birthday and Christmas. Mother's Day is more like, 58 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:07,160 Speaker 1: let's just get together. Yeah, more the more the quality 59 00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:10,040 Speaker 1: time kind of gift. Yeah. And two thirds of Americans 60 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:12,640 Speaker 1: will celebrate Mother's Day with flowers, and more than thirty 61 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:14,560 Speaker 1: percent will celebrate with jewelry. And I'm like, who are 62 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:17,520 Speaker 1: these people who can afford to buy jewelry? Maybe it's 63 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:20,200 Speaker 1: like crafty jewelry that they get it a local shop 64 00:04:20,279 --> 00:04:24,560 Speaker 1: like macaroni noodle bracelets. Right as a twenty nine year old, 65 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:26,480 Speaker 1: I'm sure I could do that for my mother and 66 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:29,680 Speaker 1: she'd appreciate it. It is also, in addition to being 67 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:33,560 Speaker 1: very popular for Flora's, it is the year's most popular 68 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:36,240 Speaker 1: holiday for dining out, because that's the whole thing about 69 00:04:36,279 --> 00:04:40,240 Speaker 1: Mother's Day. Don't let mom cook right. Someone else cook 70 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:44,080 Speaker 1: right one day off, Lady, it won't be dad. Nope, 71 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:45,960 Speaker 1: it's going to be somebody at a restaurant, because about 72 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:49,960 Speaker 1: seventy five million US adults were expected to dine out 73 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:53,279 Speaker 1: in according to the National Restaurant Association. And what else 74 00:04:53,279 --> 00:04:55,240 Speaker 1: do we do her mom on Mother's Day? We give 75 00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:58,480 Speaker 1: her a card, because you know, we want to let 76 00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:02,520 Speaker 1: someone else express some kind sentiment. It's the number three 77 00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:06,599 Speaker 1: holiday for card exchange, behind Christmas and Valentine's Day, according 78 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:10,320 Speaker 1: to Hallmark. And just to give you a hint at 79 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:15,800 Speaker 1: how grumpy the Mother's Day founder was about all of 80 00:05:15,839 --> 00:05:19,400 Speaker 1: this stuff that we do for Mother's Day these days, 81 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:22,440 Speaker 1: she once said, a printed card means nothing except that 82 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:24,320 Speaker 1: you are too lazy to write to the woman who 83 00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:28,080 Speaker 1: has done more for you than anyone in the world. 84 00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:33,320 Speaker 1: Anna Jarvis, founder of Mother's Day. As I mean, I 85 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:35,520 Speaker 1: guess I could break out the crayons and make my 86 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:40,640 Speaker 1: own with construction paper, yeah and stickers. Now, Sally would 87 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:42,960 Speaker 1: be super excited if I did that. She she kept 88 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:46,040 Speaker 1: my baby teeth, so she'd probably keep a construction paper card. 89 00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:49,479 Speaker 1: Maybe you could work the baby into the card or 90 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:54,360 Speaker 1: tape them on or some kind of a bracelet. Yes. Now, 91 00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:57,080 Speaker 1: the US is not the only country, of course, to 92 00:05:57,160 --> 00:06:01,160 Speaker 1: celebrate Mother's Day. Different countries around the world have their 93 00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:06,239 Speaker 1: own forms of Mother's Day celebrations. Yeah. On the Arab calendar, 94 00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:09,200 Speaker 1: Mother's Day falls on March twenty one, to loosely come 95 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:12,719 Speaker 1: inside with the start of spring. And in Panama it's 96 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:16,240 Speaker 1: on December eight, when the Catholic Church honors the Virgin Mary. 97 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:20,560 Speaker 1: August twelve in Thailand is the birthday of Queen Syricuit, 98 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:22,840 Speaker 1: regarded as the Mother of all ties, and that is 99 00:06:22,839 --> 00:06:25,159 Speaker 1: when they celebrate Mother's Day as well. Yeah, and there 100 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:29,719 Speaker 1: are a number of countries that deem International Women's Day 101 00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:33,440 Speaker 1: as their default Mother's Day and do all sorts of 102 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:37,360 Speaker 1: nice things for mothers and women alike. Now, for our 103 00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:41,760 Speaker 1: British listeners, though mothering Sunday is when it all goes down. 104 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:44,600 Speaker 1: This is a centuries old celebration on the fourth Sunday 105 00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:48,560 Speaker 1: of Lent, and it began as a spring Sunday designated 106 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:52,359 Speaker 1: for people to visit their area's main cathedral or mother church, 107 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:57,200 Speaker 1: which led to family reunions, which led to the British 108 00:06:57,279 --> 00:07:01,240 Speaker 1: version of Mother's Day. In this a Sian tradition was 109 00:07:01,279 --> 00:07:05,800 Speaker 1: revived by Constance Smith, who was inspired by Anna Jarvis, 110 00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:09,080 Speaker 1: who started Mother's Day in the United States, and one 111 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:13,400 Speaker 1: of the traditions um associated with Mothering Sunday slash Mother's 112 00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:18,040 Speaker 1: Day and Brittain is giving a siminal cake to your mom. 113 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:22,600 Speaker 1: And siminal cakes look delicious. They're a light fruit cake 114 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:30,840 Speaker 1: with marzi pan layer. Oh no, I think marzipan. It's 115 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:33,640 Speaker 1: like it's got to be the worst thing in the universe. 116 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:35,720 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. But my mother, you know, 117 00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:38,360 Speaker 1: I've said, she flies to Germany and she'll bring me 118 00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:41,320 Speaker 1: marzipan candy from Germany, and it's like the most disappointing 119 00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:43,280 Speaker 1: thing because it's like, oh chocolate, Yeah, you bit into it, 120 00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:46,800 Speaker 1: You're like, oh god, it tastes like furniture polosh. I've 121 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,080 Speaker 1: never had marsy pan. A lot of people like it. 122 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:53,440 Speaker 1: I my palate cannot handle the marzipan. Perhaps I should 123 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:56,720 Speaker 1: not make my siminal cake from my mother. I don't 124 00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:59,240 Speaker 1: want to stop you. I'm just saying, maybe taste at first. 125 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:02,360 Speaker 1: All right, Well, I have a feeling we're gonna get 126 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:06,200 Speaker 1: a lot of listener. I'm sorry. No, it's okay to 127 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:10,200 Speaker 1: eat your own marzipan or not. But let's get back 128 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:14,840 Speaker 1: to the United States and to the origin of Mother's Day, 129 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:17,080 Speaker 1: which you could also call a tale of two Anna's 130 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:19,920 Speaker 1: I coined that I think I'm gonna write a book 131 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:24,000 Speaker 1: about it. Um In eighteen sixty eight, Anna Jarvis the 132 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:28,480 Speaker 1: Elder organized a Mother's Friendship Day in Grafton, West Virginia, 133 00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:31,760 Speaker 1: to reunite family separated during the Civil War. It was 134 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:35,880 Speaker 1: not intended as a celebration of your mother, but as 135 00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:39,680 Speaker 1: a vehicle for organized social and political action by all mothers. 136 00:08:39,679 --> 00:08:41,560 Speaker 1: So it wasn't so much like let's sit down and 137 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:43,800 Speaker 1: eat brunch and talk about how awesome you are for 138 00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:46,160 Speaker 1: raising me, But it was like, you know, let's get 139 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:50,719 Speaker 1: together and build our community. Jarvis and other women organized 140 00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:53,439 Speaker 1: picnics and other events to go along with Mother's Friendship 141 00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:58,040 Speaker 1: Day as pacifist events to unite former foes. And on 142 00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:01,600 Speaker 1: top of this, Anna Jarvis the Elder, who was a 143 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:06,240 Speaker 1: pacifist obviously and an activist, also organized Mother's Work Days 144 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:10,239 Speaker 1: to improve sanitation and prevent deaths from disease bearing insects 145 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:14,360 Speaker 1: and seepage of polluted water. And her early Mother's Day 146 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:17,720 Speaker 1: work clubs also tended to wounded soldiers of both sides 147 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:22,959 Speaker 1: during the Civil War, and Mother's Day connections with war 148 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:27,960 Speaker 1: is going to come up yet again. And another notable 149 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:31,920 Speaker 1: woman who helped kick off this Mother's Day movement was 150 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:35,679 Speaker 1: Julia Ward how whose name might ring a bell because 151 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:39,000 Speaker 1: she wrote Battle Him of the Republic. And in eighteen 152 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:43,199 Speaker 1: seventy two, that Boston poet, pacifist and suffragist established a 153 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:46,480 Speaker 1: day for mothers and peace, not long after the Franco 154 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:51,439 Speaker 1: Prussian War. So from the very beginning uh Mother's Day 155 00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:55,760 Speaker 1: before it really crystallized when Anna Jarvis the Younger started it, 156 00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:59,800 Speaker 1: it was really rooted in peace efforts. Yeah. In eighteen 157 00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:04,240 Speaker 1: seventy Julia Ward Howe wrote the Mother's Day Proclamation? Shall 158 00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:07,720 Speaker 1: I read a little bit of it? We women of 159 00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:10,480 Speaker 1: one country will be too tender to those of another 160 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:13,199 Speaker 1: country to allow our sons to be trained to injure 161 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:16,520 Speaker 1: theirs from the bosom of a devastated earth. A voice 162 00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:21,040 Speaker 1: goes up with our own. It says, disarm, disarm. So 163 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:26,880 Speaker 1: good dramatic reading, thank you, uh so yeah, very pacifist roots. 164 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:32,480 Speaker 1: And when Anna Jarvis the elder dies, Anna Junior picks 165 00:10:32,559 --> 00:10:36,199 Speaker 1: up the torch and she decides that her mother obviously 166 00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:41,640 Speaker 1: was quite a lady and deserved some honor. Right. Anna 167 00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:45,719 Speaker 1: Junior persuaded churches in Grafton and Philadelphia to dedicate their 168 00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:48,640 Speaker 1: services to mothers on the second Sunday in May of 169 00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:51,760 Speaker 1: nineteen o eight, And she had really decided back a 170 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:54,280 Speaker 1: year before that a special day was needed to honor 171 00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:59,800 Speaker 1: mother's sacrifices. Um it was quickly adopted people, people got 172 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,880 Speaker 1: find it relatively quickly for a new holiday, and in 173 00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:08,560 Speaker 1: en President Woodrow Wilson recognized Mother's Day. In the first 174 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:12,320 Speaker 1: decades of the holiday, it was celebrated by a church service, 175 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:16,480 Speaker 1: and during the church service you'd wear carnations read from 176 00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:19,640 Speaker 1: a mother who's alive or white for one who has passed. 177 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:22,360 Speaker 1: They would even hand out awards for the oldest or 178 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:24,760 Speaker 1: newest mothers and for the mother of the most children, 179 00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:30,040 Speaker 1: But Jarvis really wanted it to be something personal where 180 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:34,560 Speaker 1: you celebrate your mother, which is why Mother's Day is 181 00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:40,360 Speaker 1: mother apostropheus, not Mother's apostrophe. Yeah, she clearly thought her 182 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:43,079 Speaker 1: mother was wrong on that count. Let's not celebrate all, 183 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:45,960 Speaker 1: let's just celebrate ours, celebrate yours. Yeah, she you know, 184 00:11:46,559 --> 00:11:50,040 Speaker 1: just something, just a quiet day with your mom. And 185 00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:53,080 Speaker 1: the reason why it's in May, it's because she originally 186 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:57,760 Speaker 1: wanted it to happen on her mom's birthday, I believe, 187 00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:00,920 Speaker 1: but they couldn't get together a special church service soon enough, 188 00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:05,000 Speaker 1: so they had to push it, and Father's Day lagged 189 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:08,920 Speaker 1: way behind behind. Um. It was not officially recognized f 190 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:13,400 Speaker 1: y I until nineteen seventy two, when all Richard Nixon 191 00:12:13,559 --> 00:12:18,199 Speaker 1: signed it into law. People weren't pushing that quite as 192 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:21,680 Speaker 1: hard as Mother's Day, but so you know, we mentioned 193 00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:23,920 Speaker 1: that it. It gained a lot of traction early on 194 00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:27,920 Speaker 1: and and really picked up speed. But the evolution of 195 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:32,599 Speaker 1: Mother's Day did not make Anna happy. She was horrified 196 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:36,400 Speaker 1: by the rapid commercialization of the holiday and spent years 197 00:12:36,679 --> 00:12:39,559 Speaker 1: writing letters to the President about how Mother's Day retailers 198 00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:42,600 Speaker 1: should be stopped yeah. One of the reasons why Mother's 199 00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:47,200 Speaker 1: Day quickly became so popular was because retailers were like, whoa, 200 00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:50,200 Speaker 1: we just got a new holiday that people are going 201 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:53,320 Speaker 1: to need to buy a lot of things for, and 202 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:57,439 Speaker 1: Jarvis had none of that. In for instance, she crashed 203 00:12:57,480 --> 00:13:01,840 Speaker 1: a confectioner's convention in Philadelphia, right, And two years later 204 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:04,520 Speaker 1: she crashed a crushed a convention of the American War 205 00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:07,920 Speaker 1: mothers who used Mother's Day to fundraise and was arrested 206 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:14,720 Speaker 1: for disturbing the peace. Oh, just disturbing the peace, pacifist woman, 207 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:19,040 Speaker 1: oh dear um. And in ninety four she succeeded in 208 00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:22,600 Speaker 1: keeping the Post Office from using Mother's Day on a 209 00:13:22,679 --> 00:13:25,680 Speaker 1: three cent stamp in honor of the painting whistlers. Mother, 210 00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:28,920 Speaker 1: I mean, Jervis really did not want Mother's Day going 211 00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:32,040 Speaker 1: so big. Yeah, And in ninety four she went so 212 00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:36,040 Speaker 1: far as to distribute thousands of celluloid flower buttons to 213 00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:38,679 Speaker 1: churches and schools, asking that they'd be sold or given 214 00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:42,120 Speaker 1: away in the hope that it would decrease the Mother's 215 00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:45,120 Speaker 1: Day demand for fresh cut flowers and reduce the floral 216 00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:48,800 Speaker 1: industries profits. She was like, you know, you were going 217 00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:52,000 Speaker 1: to stay home you're gonna go to church, you're gonna 218 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:54,200 Speaker 1: wear your carnation. We're gonna sit around the table, and 219 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:55,880 Speaker 1: you're gonna tell your mother how much you love her. 220 00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:58,440 Speaker 1: And by God, if you buy her anything, I will 221 00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:01,760 Speaker 1: bring the wrath of Anna Jarvis down on you. If 222 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:05,840 Speaker 1: that card is not homemade, my goodness. But the thing is, 223 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:10,400 Speaker 1: it's interesting that it spun out of control in a 224 00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:15,040 Speaker 1: way so quickly. Why why did it catch on? Because 225 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:16,880 Speaker 1: you know, it's just it's a holiday. I mean, it 226 00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:20,240 Speaker 1: took until nineteen seventy two for Father's Day to be 227 00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:24,840 Speaker 1: officially recognized, but all of a sudden, from nine seven 228 00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:29,000 Speaker 1: to you know, a decade later, people are going wild 229 00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:32,760 Speaker 1: about it. Well, you know, we live in a big world, Kristen. 230 00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:36,680 Speaker 1: It can be scary sometimes and when changes happen, people 231 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:41,760 Speaker 1: tend to hold on to old things from the past 232 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:45,720 Speaker 1: that make them feel comfortable, like their mom's right, literally, 233 00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:49,960 Speaker 1: like their moms. Not that moms are old things. Yes, 234 00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:54,120 Speaker 1: we don't mean to make anybody upset, but during this 235 00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:59,600 Speaker 1: changing world, Mother's Day appealed to profoundly conservative values around 236 00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:02,600 Speaker 1: women roles in the family at a time when they're 237 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:06,560 Speaker 1: being challenged by the new woman, this new woman who 238 00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:11,080 Speaker 1: drank alcohol and war makeup. Yeah. I mean that was 239 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:14,400 Speaker 1: flying directly in the face of Victorian era cult of 240 00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:19,640 Speaker 1: motherhood that really built up a woman's entire identity in 241 00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:23,680 Speaker 1: her role as a mother and lee Eric Schmidt, who 242 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:27,320 Speaker 1: wrote Consumer Rights The Buying and Selling of American Holidays, 243 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:31,080 Speaker 1: wrote that in the nineteen tens and twenties and often thereafter, 244 00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:34,200 Speaker 1: mothers say served as a kind of solace for many 245 00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:38,280 Speaker 1: American Christians, Protestants and Catholics alike who feared that that 246 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:43,520 Speaker 1: new womanhood was threatening the very institution of motherhood, domesticity, 247 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:47,960 Speaker 1: and the family. So basically this was a way that 248 00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:52,960 Speaker 1: you know, some more conservative people saw to bring focus 249 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:56,280 Speaker 1: back to this role of the woman in the home 250 00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:59,480 Speaker 1: taking care of the kids in her rightful place. They 251 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:01,800 Speaker 1: would say, yeah. And at the time, a lot of 252 00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:04,000 Speaker 1: people were saying, you know, this was as people were 253 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:07,800 Speaker 1: moving to cities, clustering in in urban locations, away from 254 00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:11,040 Speaker 1: their families. And at the time in nineteen fifteen, Susan 255 00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:14,360 Speaker 1: Tracy Rice, in her book Get Ready for It Mother's 256 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:18,600 Speaker 1: Day It's history, origin, celebration, spirit, and significance as related 257 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:21,560 Speaker 1: in pros and verse, says that the holiday is needed 258 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:25,480 Speaker 1: because of the growing lack of tender consideration for mothers 259 00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:30,000 Speaker 1: among worldly minded, busy, grown up children. So if that 260 00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:32,520 Speaker 1: wasn't a guilt trip, I don't know what was. Well. 261 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:35,760 Speaker 1: The ultimate irony with a lot of this and and 262 00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:38,480 Speaker 1: how it really gains team is that even though it 263 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:45,000 Speaker 1: roots back to these women and their pacifism, it's ultimately 264 00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:49,760 Speaker 1: war propaganda in World War One that helps launch it 265 00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:55,120 Speaker 1: into this huge national thing. In World War One, mothers 266 00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:58,840 Speaker 1: were organizing for peace and they were not very interested 267 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:02,040 Speaker 1: in helping the war effort. And this is something historically 268 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:05,320 Speaker 1: with women, um, you know, being more active in peace 269 00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:08,680 Speaker 1: movements and especially moms who don't want to see their 270 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:11,439 Speaker 1: children going off to war and possibly being killed. But 271 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:14,919 Speaker 1: the government ended up using propaganda to show that real 272 00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:18,160 Speaker 1: mothers quote unquote knew the true love for their country 273 00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:22,880 Speaker 1: and their sons meant sacrificing their children. And in nineteen eighteen, 274 00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:26,040 Speaker 1: General Pershing said he wanted every soldier an officer to 275 00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:28,960 Speaker 1: write a letter home on Mother's Day to quote carry 276 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:32,160 Speaker 1: back our courage and our affection onto the patriotic women 277 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:35,400 Speaker 1: whose love and prayers inspire us and cheer us on 278 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:38,960 Speaker 1: to victory, which I'm sure Anna Jarvis would have just 279 00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:41,359 Speaker 1: I don't even know what she would have should have 280 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:45,480 Speaker 1: burned Pershing's house down or something and sprinkled it with 281 00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:51,359 Speaker 1: the celluloid flower button um be highly flammable. Yeah, they 282 00:17:51,560 --> 00:18:03,960 Speaker 1: melt it would cover it in a weird coating anyway. Yeah, 283 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:08,600 Speaker 1: so Mother's Day, you know, relatively new holiday. Father's Day 284 00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:11,840 Speaker 1: did not catch on as quickly. One holiday that people 285 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:15,600 Speaker 1: tried to get instituted that ended up fizzling out it 286 00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:18,600 Speaker 1: was Parents Day, and it's something that fizzled out and 287 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:22,280 Speaker 1: continued to fizzle out throughout the twentieth century. Yeah, people 288 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:26,040 Speaker 1: have tried really hard to cram Parents Day down our throats. Nope, 289 00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:28,439 Speaker 1: we are not having it for whatever reason. In the 290 00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:33,040 Speaker 1: early nineteen twenties is New York radio personality Robert Spiro, 291 00:18:33,119 --> 00:18:37,680 Speaker 1: who I think was called Uncle Bob, sponsored the first gathering, 292 00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:40,280 Speaker 1: but it ended up fizzling out after nineteen thirty nine 293 00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:45,320 Speaker 1: when he retired from organizing it. And one of the 294 00:18:45,359 --> 00:18:48,679 Speaker 1: big reasons why Parents Day never caught on was because 295 00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:53,640 Speaker 1: it didn't have much support among retailers because they're like, hey, listen, 296 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,159 Speaker 1: we got Mother's Day and we're gonna have a Father's Day. 297 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,399 Speaker 1: That's two days people have to buy things. If you 298 00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:01,560 Speaker 1: cram it in a one day, we lose some profits. 299 00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:04,160 Speaker 1: So they weren't having it, and it just never caught 300 00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:10,760 Speaker 1: on enough to become a true social movement. But Anna Jarvis, oh, yes, 301 00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:15,160 Speaker 1: might have been one of the reasons why Spiro kicked 302 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:19,680 Speaker 1: it off to begin with. Yeah, Spiro's New York Committee 303 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:22,399 Speaker 1: for the Celebration of Mother's Day not Parents Day Mother's 304 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:25,320 Speaker 1: Day was prevented from sponsoring a Mother's Day parade and 305 00:19:25,359 --> 00:19:30,359 Speaker 1: meeting at the City College of New York. Why because 306 00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:34,399 Speaker 1: Anna Jarvis, the younger by then widely recognized as the 307 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:37,040 Speaker 1: founder of Mother's Day and the president of the Philadelphia 308 00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:41,240 Speaker 1: based Mother's Day International Association, put a halt to his festivity, 309 00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:44,360 Speaker 1: saying that Spiro had no right to hold a parade 310 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:47,800 Speaker 1: or even celebrate because it was her holiday. Yeah it was, 311 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:51,040 Speaker 1: I mean, because she was seriously trying to keep it 312 00:19:51,119 --> 00:19:55,320 Speaker 1: from getting any bigger, and so spiit was like, oh, Okay, 313 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,119 Speaker 1: you don't want me to have this Mother's Day celebration, 314 00:19:57,440 --> 00:20:00,639 Speaker 1: I'm gonna make my own holiday called Parents Day. And 315 00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:04,600 Speaker 1: he wasn't alone. Um, Henry Woodward Hulbert had urged a 316 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:08,000 Speaker 1: Home Day in nineteen sixteen to honor the whole family, 317 00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:13,120 Speaker 1: and then in the publisher of Parents Magazine, George Hecked 318 00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:17,760 Speaker 1: pushed for Parents Day as well. Um and back then, interestingly, 319 00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:21,800 Speaker 1: for Parents Magazine, the readership was both men and women. 320 00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:26,840 Speaker 1: But when in nine Spiro started to step down from 321 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:31,160 Speaker 1: organizing Parents Day, the Parents Magazine publisher ended up citing 322 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:34,399 Speaker 1: more with Mother's Day because by that point the readership 323 00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:38,280 Speaker 1: was skewing female right, So whatever you got to do 324 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:42,480 Speaker 1: for circulation, Hecked. So the Parents Day movement gained momentum 325 00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:45,000 Speaker 1: in the nineteen thirties after a New York State assemblyman 326 00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:47,880 Speaker 1: introduced a bill to establish the holiday, but like we said, 327 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,520 Speaker 1: it just never gained traction. They never got more than 328 00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:53,720 Speaker 1: about twenty thousand people coming to these big events in 329 00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:56,760 Speaker 1: New York. And it's interesting to look at whether it's 330 00:20:56,800 --> 00:21:00,600 Speaker 1: an attack on mother's because at different points in history, 331 00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:04,119 Speaker 1: mothers have been accused of making sons soft and for 332 00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:07,360 Speaker 1: smothering their children, and oftentimes, like around World War One, 333 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:11,879 Speaker 1: if soldiers weren't very successful, mothers were blamed for, you know, 334 00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:16,080 Speaker 1: making them too soft as they grew up. The Parents 335 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:20,160 Speaker 1: Day campaign actually reached its zenith during the Depression, when 336 00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:23,359 Speaker 1: women were regularly blamed for men's problems. Yeah. A lot 337 00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:26,439 Speaker 1: of times. The high unemployment among the guys was, you know, 338 00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:30,840 Speaker 1: blamed on women for I guess, costing too much money, 339 00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:34,560 Speaker 1: having too many children, all those shoes. Yeah. Um. In 340 00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:39,160 Speaker 1: one Spiro announced that the annual celebration of Parents Day 341 00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:44,560 Speaker 1: would be held in Central Park on Mother's Day. Come on, Spiro, Yeah, 342 00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:46,879 Speaker 1: he said, it's a reminder that both parents should be honored, 343 00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:50,000 Speaker 1: and you shouldn't divide love and affection because it weakens 344 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:52,720 Speaker 1: the home. You should honor both parents, and even had 345 00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:57,200 Speaker 1: a slogan a kiss for mother, a hug for Dad. Yeah. 346 00:21:57,240 --> 00:21:59,960 Speaker 1: But even though they had a catchy slogan and indeed 347 00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:03,800 Speaker 1: turnouts at Central Park. Um, it just like we said, 348 00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:07,000 Speaker 1: it never really caught on. Once he stepped down in 349 00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:12,040 Speaker 1: ninety nine, the entire thing just sort of fizzled out. Notably, 350 00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:15,240 Speaker 1: President Clinton did declare the last Sunday in July to 351 00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:17,879 Speaker 1: be Parents Day. Um, and he didn't use any kind 352 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:22,680 Speaker 1: of gendered rhetoric. But again, I don't I don't think 353 00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:25,439 Speaker 1: I've heard of anyone who celebrates parents Day no, And 354 00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:27,800 Speaker 1: then it's it's just interesting to see how something that 355 00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:30,840 Speaker 1: seems so innocent, like a holiday where you celebrate your parents, 356 00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:33,160 Speaker 1: can be so political. Because there was Clinton who didn't 357 00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:35,399 Speaker 1: use any gender rhetoric like we said, and you know, 358 00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:38,400 Speaker 1: made it a very inclusive holiday that you know, could 359 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:41,840 Speaker 1: celebrate any number of types of families. And then George W. 360 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,919 Speaker 1: Bush used a Parents Day Declaration to promote quote unquote 361 00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:47,680 Speaker 1: traditional families and all of the political hullabaloo that comes 362 00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:53,080 Speaker 1: along with that. So because by traditional you mean heterosexual 363 00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:56,879 Speaker 1: mom plus dead and right, it was definitely used as 364 00:22:56,880 --> 00:23:00,359 Speaker 1: a platform of sorts for his views. So, oh, I 365 00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:02,600 Speaker 1: guess we might as well just stick with Mother's Day 366 00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:05,600 Speaker 1: and Father's Day so that nobody gets angry. Now. I 367 00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:09,359 Speaker 1: did like how in the article for Bitch magazine called 368 00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:12,840 Speaker 1: parent Trapped by Erica freak Or, she traces the history 369 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:15,679 Speaker 1: of Mother's Day. She points out that in nineteen sixty, 370 00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:19,840 Speaker 1: the Society for the Appreciation and Preservation of Spouses, which 371 00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:23,040 Speaker 1: that sounds like a fun society, called for Mother's Day 372 00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:26,320 Speaker 1: to be moved to February and extended to a whole week. 373 00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:29,960 Speaker 1: I'm not sure why they wanted it to be in February. 374 00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:31,720 Speaker 1: I don't know if they were like, let's just coincide 375 00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:35,600 Speaker 1: it with Valentine's Day and take a week off when 376 00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:38,080 Speaker 1: it's cold anyway, but yeah, they were like, the husband 377 00:23:38,119 --> 00:23:40,240 Speaker 1: should do all of the chores that the that the 378 00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:43,240 Speaker 1: wife normally does during that week. Well, okay, that is 379 00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:45,560 Speaker 1: a great point about the whole thing of you know, 380 00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:50,159 Speaker 1: we celebrate Mother's Day by relinquishing her chore duty in 381 00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:53,000 Speaker 1: a lot of ways. And so there was a study 382 00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:55,719 Speaker 1: published in Gender Issues in two thousand and eight that 383 00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:59,440 Speaker 1: looked at how Mother's Day in Father's Day tend to 384 00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:05,320 Speaker 1: re in force these traditional there's that word again, gender roles. Yeah, 385 00:24:05,359 --> 00:24:08,639 Speaker 1: on Mother's Day, families spent more time celebrating. Mothers are 386 00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:10,679 Speaker 1: more likely to receive gifts than fathers to you on 387 00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:14,280 Speaker 1: Father's Day, and families are more likely to celebrate and 388 00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:18,720 Speaker 1: go out. But why is it more recognized? Perhaps they 389 00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:22,040 Speaker 1: write the greater importance placed on motherhood, or because of 390 00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:25,320 Speaker 1: the centrality of motherhood to women's identity, or maybe the 391 00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:27,919 Speaker 1: family perceives that mothers want more attention or are more 392 00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:31,640 Speaker 1: willing to accept and are even more appreciative of that attention. 393 00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:34,080 Speaker 1: Because they point out like you know, like, like I 394 00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:38,879 Speaker 1: just said that idea that motherhood is central to women's identity, 395 00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:41,400 Speaker 1: but Father's Day isn't important and didn't catch on. It's 396 00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:45,840 Speaker 1: fast because fatherhood is not essentral to men's identities, right. 397 00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:50,000 Speaker 1: And whereas Mother's Day is associated with giving mom a 398 00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:52,800 Speaker 1: day off from her chores, father's Day is more associated 399 00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:56,320 Speaker 1: with dad getting a day off from work so that 400 00:24:56,359 --> 00:24:58,639 Speaker 1: he can hang out with his kids, right, or go 401 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:03,239 Speaker 1: fishing or whatever whatever it is that men do. Who knows, um. 402 00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:04,840 Speaker 1: But so, like you said, you know, mothers are more 403 00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:07,280 Speaker 1: likely to report they're relieved of chores on the holiday, 404 00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:10,080 Speaker 1: which is a good thing, right right, kind of well, 405 00:25:10,119 --> 00:25:13,280 Speaker 1: it does highlight the fact that they are normally the 406 00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:16,840 Speaker 1: woman's responsibility. And then the whole eating out thing. You know, 407 00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:19,640 Speaker 1: we mentioned at the top of the podcast that everybody 408 00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:22,200 Speaker 1: goes out to eat on Mother's Day. That just emphasized 409 00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:25,200 Speaker 1: that the fact that cooking is again part of this 410 00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:28,320 Speaker 1: gendered identity as a mother. They also point out the 411 00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:33,480 Speaker 1: fact that maybe women aren't doing really rewarding work around 412 00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:36,520 Speaker 1: the home that they're being relieved from, so it's They 413 00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:39,240 Speaker 1: also point out that the routine nature of women's daily 414 00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:42,440 Speaker 1: chores might make it easier for someone to take them 415 00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:44,560 Speaker 1: on in her place for a day, like, okay, well, 416 00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:48,119 Speaker 1: women can't take on men's work, but men can share, 417 00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:51,680 Speaker 1: you know, load the dishwasher one night. Kristen wouldn't let him. 418 00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:57,160 Speaker 1: Y'all know how I'm particular about my dishwasher being organized. 419 00:25:57,320 --> 00:26:01,199 Speaker 1: It's sadly true. Um. But the sad thing was that 420 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:05,080 Speaker 1: these researchers found was that mothers did not enjoy their 421 00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:09,560 Speaker 1: Mom's Day celebrations as much as dad's did. And their 422 00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:13,000 Speaker 1: theory was that maybe it's because motherhood is still considered 423 00:26:13,359 --> 00:26:18,080 Speaker 1: a woman's primary identity and vocation, and mother's expectations might 424 00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:21,800 Speaker 1: be too high for this one magical day off, whereas, 425 00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:25,679 Speaker 1: like you said, the man's identity is not so closely 426 00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:29,440 Speaker 1: tied to whether or not he has kids, so he's 427 00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:31,480 Speaker 1: less invested in Father's Day. He's like, oh, yeah, okay, 428 00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:33,720 Speaker 1: this is cool, and so his expectations might be a 429 00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:37,639 Speaker 1: little bit lower for that fishing trip or playing catch 430 00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:42,920 Speaker 1: or working on the car, mowing the lawn, being sweaty, 431 00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:47,560 Speaker 1: hey brownie man. Anyway, So looking at chores, though traditional 432 00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:51,199 Speaker 1: mothers quote unquote traditional mothers who weren't relieved of chores 433 00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:54,920 Speaker 1: on Mother's Day. We're unhappier than those who were. Okay, 434 00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:58,800 Speaker 1: makes sense, but relief from chores did not affect quote 435 00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:02,280 Speaker 1: unquote mo etern mothers. And they write that it could 436 00:27:02,359 --> 00:27:05,280 Speaker 1: be that traditional mothers have a heavier chore burden to 437 00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:08,960 Speaker 1: begin with, or the chores are becoming less tied to 438 00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:12,800 Speaker 1: the identities of non traditional women, so the acknowledgement might 439 00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:14,840 Speaker 1: be less important. It might be like, we're all chipping 440 00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:17,320 Speaker 1: in around the house. It doesn't matter so much that 441 00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:19,800 Speaker 1: you're filling the dishwasher for a day. Yeah, And they 442 00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:22,840 Speaker 1: and they used traditional versus modern. These researchers did to 443 00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:27,639 Speaker 1: delineate between women whose work was really just central to 444 00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:31,399 Speaker 1: the home and women who worked more outside of the home. 445 00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:36,159 Speaker 1: And they also looked at um couples that were more 446 00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:39,560 Speaker 1: egalitarian to see if that had any influence on their 447 00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:43,360 Speaker 1: the gendered aspects of their Mother's versus Father's Day celebrations. 448 00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:46,919 Speaker 1: And it really didn't seem to make any difference. So 449 00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:51,240 Speaker 1: what would Anna Jarvis think about all this? If you 450 00:27:51,359 --> 00:27:54,840 Speaker 1: leave the house on Mother's Day for anything but church, 451 00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:58,360 Speaker 1: no good, God help you. I wonder if she liked 452 00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:02,439 Speaker 1: Siminal Cake and mar se Pan. Mars Pans just probably 453 00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:04,760 Speaker 1: thinks that Seminal Cake and marz Pan is too happy, 454 00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:10,040 Speaker 1: too indulgent. Yeah, it's tied to too many bakery profits perhaps, 455 00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:14,480 Speaker 1: um but okay, so we there's some people have some 456 00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:18,080 Speaker 1: trouble with those, uh you know, those those generals being 457 00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:21,000 Speaker 1: just reinforced and reinforced every year on Mother's Day and 458 00:28:21,040 --> 00:28:24,680 Speaker 1: Father's Day. Although I gotta say, if I had kids, 459 00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:27,200 Speaker 1: I look forward to Mother's Day. I look forward to 460 00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:29,760 Speaker 1: any day that someone wants to take me out for food. 461 00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:35,240 Speaker 1: You know, I just look forward to food in general. 462 00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:38,880 Speaker 1: Speaking of a low expectations. All you have to do 463 00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:40,520 Speaker 1: is put food in front of my face, and I'm 464 00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:43,120 Speaker 1: pretty happy about it. Just bring me like a stack 465 00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:49,560 Speaker 1: of sandwiches on crunchy bread, leave me alone. So you're 466 00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:51,600 Speaker 1: you're a little more cut up for Father's Day. Yeah, 467 00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:53,760 Speaker 1: probably sounds like stead of working on the car, I'm 468 00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:56,120 Speaker 1: working on the sandwich. But yeah, I'm sure. And none 469 00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:58,560 Speaker 1: of this is a call to end Mother's Day. But 470 00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:03,240 Speaker 1: it is fascinating to see how the holiday began and 471 00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:07,120 Speaker 1: how it's really saddened. It's founder and a Jarvis she 472 00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:09,680 Speaker 1: would be horrified at the fact that it is now 473 00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:14,440 Speaker 1: a sixteen billion dollar holiday. Oh yeah, and she would 474 00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:16,200 Speaker 1: be so angry with me because I'm going to go 475 00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:19,480 Speaker 1: buy my mother some flowers. I'm making the macaroni pasta bracelet. 476 00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:22,600 Speaker 1: I don't know what you're talking about, but what do 477 00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:26,360 Speaker 1: mothers want? Because the thing is Jarvis might have been 478 00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:30,760 Speaker 1: onto something about the whole not spending money on mom 479 00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:36,120 Speaker 1: because according to a poll conducted by Mother Company, Yes 480 00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:40,360 Speaker 1: that is a business, they found that what women want 481 00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:45,840 Speaker 1: for Mother's Day, it's just well behaved children. Yeah. Of 482 00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:48,880 Speaker 1: the women polled said well behaved kids was what they wanted, 483 00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:53,200 Speaker 1: only three percent said they wanted a purchased gift like roses, chocolate, 484 00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:55,640 Speaker 1: or brunch. And I'm like, who are you people buy 485 00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:59,800 Speaker 1: me brunch any day of the week for any meal. Yeah, 486 00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:03,000 Speaker 1: they want the well behaved kids, followed by time to themselves, 487 00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:05,160 Speaker 1: a homemade card or then yeah, the stuff that you 488 00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:08,560 Speaker 1: can spend money on. So maybe you should pay more 489 00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:12,200 Speaker 1: attention to old Jarvis. I guess I don't know. I'm 490 00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:14,600 Speaker 1: looking at this. I think this applies more to people 491 00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:17,960 Speaker 1: with young children, because I know my mother wants me 492 00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:20,080 Speaker 1: to move back in with her like, that's how much 493 00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:21,920 Speaker 1: she wants me to be at the house. So I 494 00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:25,240 Speaker 1: don't think she wants more time to herself on Mother's Day. Yeah, yeah, 495 00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:27,440 Speaker 1: that's true. That's true. I'm sure. I'm sure that the 496 00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:31,080 Speaker 1: entire experience of Mother's Day is much different when you 497 00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:34,520 Speaker 1: when you have smaller children. Yeah, in the house. Well, 498 00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:36,680 Speaker 1: so let's hear from listeners now about your best Mother's 499 00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:38,760 Speaker 1: Day or maybe your worst. What do you really want 500 00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:41,680 Speaker 1: that you never get? Are you Are you in search 501 00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:45,280 Speaker 1: of time to yourself, some quiet time? Are you looking 502 00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:48,600 Speaker 1: for reference alert? Are you looking for it like a 503 00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:51,680 Speaker 1: Claire Huxtable room to yourself, like what her husband built 504 00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:53,880 Speaker 1: her on The Cosby Show? Is that what you want 505 00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:55,800 Speaker 1: in your life? I would just like to be friends 506 00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:57,680 Speaker 1: with Claire Huxtable. Yeah, that would be a good Mother's 507 00:30:57,760 --> 00:31:01,000 Speaker 1: Day present. Brunch with Claire Huxtable for a Mother's Day 508 00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:03,800 Speaker 1: I'd be pretty cool. Well, right to us mom Stuff 509 00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:06,440 Speaker 1: at Discovery dot comm is where you can send your emails. 510 00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:10,160 Speaker 1: You can always facebook us or tweet us at Mom's 511 00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:13,800 Speaker 1: Stuff podcast. And we're gonna read a couple of your letters. 512 00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:29,320 Speaker 1: But first and now back to our letters. I have 513 00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:35,920 Speaker 1: one here from Anne about our Administrative Assistants episode. She says, Hello, 514 00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:39,160 Speaker 1: Hello Anne. I'm a fairly new fan of your podcast, 515 00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:41,400 Speaker 1: and after listening to your show on secretaries, I felt 516 00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:44,400 Speaker 1: the need to chime in. My very first grown up 517 00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:46,959 Speaker 1: job out of college was as an executive assistant at 518 00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:49,840 Speaker 1: a local advertising website. So far, it has been my 519 00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:52,920 Speaker 1: only experience in a secretarial position, and so far it 520 00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:55,240 Speaker 1: has also been the only job where I saw sexism 521 00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:58,400 Speaker 1: in action. However, I feel like that particular brand of 522 00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:00,640 Speaker 1: sexism had more to do with the industry I was 523 00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:04,400 Speaker 1: working in nightlife advertising, then with how I was treated 524 00:32:04,480 --> 00:32:07,440 Speaker 1: as not only the sole employee in a secretarial position, 525 00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:10,000 Speaker 1: but also the only female staff member for at least 526 00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:12,520 Speaker 1: half the time I was employed there. Some examples of 527 00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:14,880 Speaker 1: the sort of sexism I ran into were one time 528 00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:17,160 Speaker 1: when my boss decided the winner of tickets to a 529 00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:20,440 Speaker 1: water park Memorial Day party by looking only the female 530 00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:22,920 Speaker 1: entrance up on Facebook and picking the one who looked 531 00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:26,560 Speaker 1: best in a swimsuit. Or how answering the office phone 532 00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:29,640 Speaker 1: became my responsibility because the same boss said it would 533 00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:32,080 Speaker 1: be better to have a woman's voice answering the phone. 534 00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:35,120 Speaker 1: Apparently it was supposed to be more friendly. There was 535 00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:38,719 Speaker 1: also no shortage of clients asking for scantily clad, busty 536 00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:42,080 Speaker 1: ladies to adorn their event poster, many of which I 537 00:32:42,120 --> 00:32:44,960 Speaker 1: had to approve and pick up at the printers. Though 538 00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:48,240 Speaker 1: for the record, I never was asked to get anybody coffee. 539 00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:51,520 Speaker 1: So thanks for the story, Anne. Well, I've got one 540 00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:56,840 Speaker 1: here from Madison and she is studying in Morocco right now. 541 00:32:56,840 --> 00:33:00,960 Speaker 1: She's a gender studies major and and she writes, I 542 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:02,680 Speaker 1: know this is digging way back into the past, but 543 00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:05,560 Speaker 1: I wanted to write you about your cat calling podcast. 544 00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:08,360 Speaker 1: I was really listening to it because I'm in Morocco 545 00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:11,080 Speaker 1: right now and the cat calls are out of control here. 546 00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:13,440 Speaker 1: It's a sign of masculinity to be able to cat 547 00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:16,360 Speaker 1: call in at least three languages, and men seem to 548 00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:18,080 Speaker 1: have nothing better to do than make some kind of 549 00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:20,360 Speaker 1: comment or just leer at you as you walk by. 550 00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:22,440 Speaker 1: I have been cat called as I walked through the market, 551 00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:25,240 Speaker 1: from bicycles, cars, while walking home, and once from a 552 00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:28,840 Speaker 1: dump truck by men of varying ages as in age 553 00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:32,280 Speaker 1: eight up to about sixty. Although it's predominantly young men 554 00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:35,000 Speaker 1: that do it. It has nothing to do with being Western, 555 00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:38,360 Speaker 1: it happens to Moroccan women as well. It really boils 556 00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:41,080 Speaker 1: down to women being second class citizens here. I've talked 557 00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:43,120 Speaker 1: to Moroccans about it, and a few have acknowledged that 558 00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:46,040 Speaker 1: it's wrong, and certainly none of the women appreciate it. 559 00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:48,680 Speaker 1: One man had the audacity to tell a room full 560 00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:51,880 Speaker 1: of women that he cat calls because women like it. He, however, 561 00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:54,840 Speaker 1: did say that if someone cat calls his sister or girlfriend, 562 00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:59,240 Speaker 1: he thinks it's wrong. There's an interesting disconnect here. We 563 00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:02,360 Speaker 1: can in no respond to the street harassment here. That's 564 00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:04,800 Speaker 1: just not done, and we are more likely to get 565 00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:08,200 Speaker 1: aggressive responses. This is also not something that is a 566 00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:10,799 Speaker 1: matter of public discourse, and it has such a deep 567 00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:14,480 Speaker 1: rooted cultural ties that it's hardly thought of as an issue. 568 00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:19,719 Speaker 1: So thanks for writing in from Morocco and um, yeah, 569 00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:24,160 Speaker 1: I can imagine that that would get very exhausting getting 570 00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:27,279 Speaker 1: around there. Um So thanks to everyone too who has 571 00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:31,400 Speaker 1: written into mom Stuff at Discovery dot com. 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That's right, 578 00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:51,960 Speaker 1: Stuff I've Never Told You has a brand new YouTube channel. 579 00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:56,560 Speaker 1: It's YouTube dot com slash stuff Mom Never told You. 580 00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:59,239 Speaker 1: And while you're at it, you should check out our 581 00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:02,400 Speaker 1: podcast pals Josh and Chuck from Stuff You Should Know 582 00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:04,960 Speaker 1: because they're on YouTube as well. They're at YouTube dot 583 00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:09,120 Speaker 1: com slash Stuff You Should Know, so lots to do. 584 00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:11,720 Speaker 1: Check us all out, and if you still have time, 585 00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:14,560 Speaker 1: head over to our website, it's how Stuff Works dot 586 00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:21,760 Speaker 1: com for more on this and thousands of other topics. 587 00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:31,680 Speaker 1: Is it how Stuff Works dot com