1 00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:03,840 Speaker 1: This is the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast 2 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:04,680 Speaker 1: with iHeartRadio. 3 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:08,959 Speaker 2: Hey, guys, welcome to the Almost Sais podcast. Today we 4 00:00:09,119 --> 00:00:13,800 Speaker 2: are joined by one of Bachelor Nations. Happily ever after 5 00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:16,759 Speaker 2: Noah and Abigail are here. They're going to tell us, 6 00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:23,720 Speaker 2: hopefully about their wedding next month, and Abigail's new book 7 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:25,840 Speaker 2: that's coming out, and of course we're going to try 8 00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:29,560 Speaker 2: to get some dirt from Noah about his brother Aaron's 9 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:31,600 Speaker 2: stint on The Bachelorette. 10 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:33,320 Speaker 3: Hey, guys, welcome. 11 00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:34,760 Speaker 4: Thanks guys for having us. 12 00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:39,239 Speaker 3: Howdy howdy you guys. It's really fun to see the 13 00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:42,440 Speaker 3: two of you, because I do feel like, coming out 14 00:00:42,479 --> 00:00:45,839 Speaker 3: of Paradise, you're one of the last couples that I 15 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:51,839 Speaker 3: can vividly remember making it work after Paradise, and now 16 00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:53,440 Speaker 3: that Paradise is gone, we don't have a lot of 17 00:00:53,479 --> 00:00:56,400 Speaker 3: other couples to celebrate, so I'm really glad that you 18 00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:59,200 Speaker 3: came here to talk to us. Abigail, you obviously have 19 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:02,279 Speaker 3: been working really hard on this new project, and that's 20 00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:05,399 Speaker 3: where I want to kick it off. You have this 21 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:10,400 Speaker 3: incredible book, your memoir coming out. How much time did 22 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:13,440 Speaker 3: you put into like making this book happen. 23 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,640 Speaker 4: Yeah, so The Deaf Girl is about three years in 24 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:19,720 Speaker 4: the making. It's just a lot of work that goes 25 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:21,640 Speaker 4: into a book that I just didn't really know about 26 00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:23,920 Speaker 4: going into it. But yeah, it took my mom and 27 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,320 Speaker 4: I about three years to kind of think about what 28 00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:28,959 Speaker 4: angle we wanted to do and just putting the words 29 00:01:28,959 --> 00:01:32,200 Speaker 4: on the pages, and it just came out I think 30 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:35,600 Speaker 4: two weeks ago now. So we just busy. We did 31 00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:38,360 Speaker 4: a little book tour and trying to do that while 32 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:41,400 Speaker 4: you know, finishing up planning the wedding was a lot 33 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:44,120 Speaker 4: this month. But now I was just really proud of 34 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:47,280 Speaker 4: the book and hopefully I can reach people going through 35 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:49,600 Speaker 4: a similar thing that my mom and I went through. 36 00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:52,200 Speaker 4: That was kind of the biggest goal with The Deaf Girl. 37 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:55,800 Speaker 2: Can you explain how you decided to have your mom's 38 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:59,400 Speaker 2: perspective about having a child who is death in the book. 39 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:03,440 Speaker 4: Yeah, So during that season kind of when that was airing, 40 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:06,720 Speaker 4: I felt like the questions were pretty split. I think 41 00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:09,000 Speaker 4: half of the people were really curious about just my 42 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:13,360 Speaker 4: experience of culplor implant hearing loss. But most of the 43 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:16,840 Speaker 4: questions I felt like, we're actually from parents of little 44 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:20,720 Speaker 4: kids that just got the diagnosis. They are just so lost, 45 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:24,680 Speaker 4: so confused, just so many questions, a lot worries, and 46 00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:27,040 Speaker 4: so I just thought my mom's perspective would be really 47 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:29,880 Speaker 4: valuable in that sense of just hearing from somebody that 48 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:32,440 Speaker 4: has been through it, and I guess in a way 49 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:35,560 Speaker 4: is on the other end of it. I think just 50 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:38,400 Speaker 4: having that kind of support in the book, we just 51 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:41,239 Speaker 4: felt like it would be really beneficial for those families. 52 00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:45,960 Speaker 3: The title is striking. I think when you read it 53 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:50,359 Speaker 3: the Deaf Girl. What made you title this the deaf Girl? 54 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:53,040 Speaker 3: Because I know you've also talked publicly about how that 55 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:59,040 Speaker 3: phrasing or categorization of you maybe for a long time 56 00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:01,680 Speaker 3: with some that you stayed away from. So why do 57 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:03,720 Speaker 3: you call it then the thing that you were most 58 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:05,000 Speaker 3: you know, pushing back on. 59 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:08,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a little ironic, but you know, I think 60 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:12,760 Speaker 4: just growing up I just never really identified as being deaf. 61 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:15,120 Speaker 4: It just was the title that I just didn't really 62 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:18,120 Speaker 4: well partly identified with, just because growing up I always 63 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:21,440 Speaker 4: thought the deaf community was the sign language community, and 64 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:24,440 Speaker 4: I don't use sign language, and so I just never 65 00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:27,720 Speaker 4: fully identified with it. And then combined with just kind 66 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:30,400 Speaker 4: of going on the show I think that was kind 67 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:33,760 Speaker 4: of my first taste of feeling tokenized, I think in 68 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:36,760 Speaker 4: a sense of just people you know, referring to me 69 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:40,080 Speaker 4: as the deaf girl, calling me fraugile and all these things, 70 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:42,119 Speaker 4: and kind of just a lot of stereotypes around kind 71 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:45,840 Speaker 4: of disability and dating. And so when coming up with 72 00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:48,600 Speaker 4: the title, I definitely wanted something catchy, So I think 73 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:50,880 Speaker 4: it did the job there. But I think also with 74 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:53,600 Speaker 4: just the goal of you know, this is a label, 75 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,680 Speaker 4: but if you open up the book, there's, you know, 76 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:58,680 Speaker 4: so much more that goes on behind the label, And 77 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:00,720 Speaker 4: so I just really wanted to encourage people just to 78 00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:03,800 Speaker 4: you know, see the title, have questions, and then open 79 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:05,960 Speaker 4: it up and realize that, you know, it's so much 80 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:09,280 Speaker 4: more than, you know, just the label that other people 81 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:13,120 Speaker 4: try to assign to you. 82 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:16,719 Speaker 2: Noah, how is it? Is there any difference being in 83 00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:20,039 Speaker 2: a relationship with somebody who is deaf them being a 84 00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:21,680 Speaker 2: relationship with somebody who is. 85 00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:26,160 Speaker 5: Not none at all? It's totally the same. No, I'm 86 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:30,599 Speaker 5: just kidding. There are obviously there are. There are definitely differences. 87 00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:35,120 Speaker 5: And for us it's interesting because I feel like a 88 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:38,679 Speaker 5: lot of stuff we go out of our way to 89 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:41,200 Speaker 5: talk about it and then it just becomes not a 90 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:44,279 Speaker 5: big deal. That's kind of how we approach dating and 91 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:49,200 Speaker 5: deafness and all the ins and outs. There's a lot 92 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:51,159 Speaker 5: of things I would have never thought about. That's part 93 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:54,359 Speaker 5: of what I did like about the book is, you know, 94 00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:58,040 Speaker 5: I've a background in nursing. I've been around you know, 95 00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:00,680 Speaker 5: deaf people before, quote unquote, so I kind of had 96 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:04,359 Speaker 5: it all figured out right, But reading the book is 97 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:08,160 Speaker 5: a whole different view of life to me, even with 98 00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:12,080 Speaker 5: you know, a medical background and so, you know, a difference, 99 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:16,640 Speaker 5: like a small difference is I have to repeat myself 100 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:21,080 Speaker 5: multiple times. That's not something that's normal i'd say from 101 00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:25,640 Speaker 5: a previous relationship. But this person, actually, you know, loves 102 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:28,920 Speaker 5: so I have no problem repeating myself. But yeah, I'll 103 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:31,360 Speaker 5: say the same thing five times over or in the morning. 104 00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:34,719 Speaker 5: She won't have her quicklar im plane on. That's an adjustment. 105 00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:37,000 Speaker 5: I gotta go find her around the house, you know, 106 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:40,559 Speaker 5: text her, see where she's at. But it's little things 107 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:45,159 Speaker 5: like that that I guess could be seen as an inconvenience, 108 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:48,920 Speaker 5: but kind of throughout the day and it's a back 109 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:52,599 Speaker 5: and forth, they're not that huge. I'd say, there's like 110 00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:57,320 Speaker 5: some safety things and some like considerations that I would 111 00:05:57,360 --> 00:06:00,920 Speaker 5: have never thought because I've never been deaf. But it's 112 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:03,280 Speaker 5: one of those things that obviously having a book is 113 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:05,159 Speaker 5: like a cheat code because I get a glimpse into 114 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:08,360 Speaker 5: her life. But it's one of those things that you 115 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:11,680 Speaker 5: just kind of slowly, I don't know, adapt to, I 116 00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:13,200 Speaker 5: guess without thinking about it. 117 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:27,240 Speaker 3: Building on Ashley's question a bit, I know when I 118 00:06:27,279 --> 00:06:31,039 Speaker 3: wrote my book, my wife read it, and there was 119 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:35,400 Speaker 3: just so much that she learned about me by reading it, 120 00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:38,280 Speaker 3: and stuff I didn't realize that she didn't know, or 121 00:06:38,279 --> 00:06:40,200 Speaker 3: maybe just like I hadn't, I forgot to tell her 122 00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:42,760 Speaker 3: or never thought about telling her or whatever. No, what 123 00:06:42,839 --> 00:06:44,599 Speaker 3: are some things that stood out to you when you 124 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:49,080 Speaker 3: read the book that were new to you after being 125 00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:52,159 Speaker 3: together for now? How many years have you? Guys dated? Four? Three? 126 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:55,359 Speaker 3: Three and a half Yeah, three and a half, so 127 00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:57,560 Speaker 3: three and a half years together. You feel like you 128 00:06:57,600 --> 00:07:01,320 Speaker 3: know everything. But I'm sure there's some stuff that popped up. 129 00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:06,560 Speaker 5: I mean, most of it, honestly, was the childhood. You know, 130 00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:10,640 Speaker 5: everyone everyone thinks they live a very unique life, and 131 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,160 Speaker 5: then you hear about someone else's life. You're like Okay, 132 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:17,680 Speaker 5: there are similarities, but there's also some stark differences. So 133 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:20,160 Speaker 5: I think a lot of hers was U. 134 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:23,120 Speaker 4: Said, Paradise a little bit too, You learned somethings. 135 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:27,400 Speaker 5: Yeah, And my perception of like why I'm on Paradise 136 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:31,880 Speaker 5: thinking to myself, Okay, this is pretty back, Like this 137 00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:33,840 Speaker 5: is an obvious thing. I say I love you, you say 138 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:36,360 Speaker 5: you love me. We're both happy, we both like each other. 139 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:39,760 Speaker 5: We you know, get married and live happily ever after. 140 00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:43,680 Speaker 5: But I never even until honestly, until reading the book, 141 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:47,600 Speaker 5: I never even thought of how different her experience was 142 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:52,480 Speaker 5: than mine. Just just the things like me thinking, Okay, 143 00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:56,239 Speaker 5: this chick doesn't want to talk, whereas her she's like, okay, 144 00:07:56,280 --> 00:08:01,320 Speaker 5: I'm trying to figure out who's talking. You're not even 145 00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:05,160 Speaker 5: facing me, You're drinking of mimosa, looking at you know, 146 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:08,640 Speaker 5: a bird talking to me casually. It's like there's all 147 00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:12,600 Speaker 5: these things that I never even thought could contribute to 148 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:16,440 Speaker 5: her not being outspoken or whatever, you know, the thought was. 149 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:19,560 Speaker 5: So it was kind of like her experience on Paradise 150 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:24,120 Speaker 5: made more sense to me. The hardships with her mom's 151 00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:27,600 Speaker 5: perspective and Rachel and you know, this was an age 152 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:31,520 Speaker 5: without the Internet, I kind of just assume everyone's treated well, 153 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:34,200 Speaker 5: you know, we all love each other, but that's not 154 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:37,120 Speaker 5: the case. You know, I've met so many girls on 155 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:40,559 Speaker 5: the book tour that specifically asked about dating and how 156 00:08:40,559 --> 00:08:44,000 Speaker 5: hard it's been, and you'd think, oh, okay, everyone's life 157 00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:46,840 Speaker 5: experience isn't the same as mine. So it's just a 158 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:49,640 Speaker 5: lot of different I guess, lenses that I would have 159 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:55,319 Speaker 5: never thought of unless I, like you said, specifically asked her, 160 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:58,960 Speaker 5: which that's a very nuanced or weird thing to specifically ask. 161 00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:02,560 Speaker 5: So it was kind of cool getting that perspective, but 162 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:05,160 Speaker 5: it was, you know, a lot of different perspective that 163 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:06,000 Speaker 5: I had never thought of. 164 00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:07,720 Speaker 2: That's super interesting. 165 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:13,040 Speaker 3: Writing a book is always a massive undertaking an Abigail, 166 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:15,800 Speaker 3: I know this is one that was obviously near and 167 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:19,200 Speaker 3: dear to your heart. Did you find it difficult, like 168 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:23,560 Speaker 3: remembering some of the ways that you were mistreated or 169 00:09:23,679 --> 00:09:25,920 Speaker 3: some of the ways that you felt like an outsider 170 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:30,560 Speaker 3: as a child, and then even going on paradise remembering that, 171 00:09:30,679 --> 00:09:33,200 Speaker 3: like I don't want to call it an insecurity maybe, 172 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:35,920 Speaker 3: but just like that inner dialogue that you're having where 173 00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:37,640 Speaker 3: it's like, I don't know if Noah's actually into me 174 00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:40,400 Speaker 3: because he has his back turned to me and he's 175 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:43,440 Speaker 3: not really talking to me. Was it hard to relive 176 00:09:43,679 --> 00:09:46,520 Speaker 3: any of these moments as you put it on paper? 177 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:50,080 Speaker 4: Yeah, so, I mean definitely, like the early childhood stuff 178 00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:52,200 Speaker 4: that was hard to remember. So I think that's why 179 00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:55,200 Speaker 4: having my mom's perspective was really valuable and bringing her in. 180 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,400 Speaker 4: And then with like the show and Paradise, I think 181 00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:02,960 Speaker 4: both of those were difficult, but I think much needed 182 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:06,199 Speaker 4: to work through because I think I had just always 183 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:09,440 Speaker 4: felt like how I acted on the shows in the 184 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:12,400 Speaker 4: sense of just having kind of that inner dialogue and 185 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:16,839 Speaker 4: feeling of like, you know, I didn't fully enjoy that experience. 186 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:20,200 Speaker 4: You know, why is that or why did I react 187 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,960 Speaker 4: that way when mad or Noah did those things, and 188 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,960 Speaker 4: just unpacking a lot of that, and I think just 189 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:28,439 Speaker 4: even past my disability, I think it was just a 190 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:30,959 Speaker 4: lot of like dating tendencies as well, and just trying 191 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:34,120 Speaker 4: to figure out, Okay, I'm feeling a certain way about this, 192 00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:36,439 Speaker 4: but it's like therapy. It's like, Okay, I gotta work 193 00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:38,240 Speaker 4: through it. I got to unpack all the layers and 194 00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:41,000 Speaker 4: really dive deep and try to figure out Okay, why 195 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:42,800 Speaker 4: did I respond that way or why was I feeling 196 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:46,040 Speaker 4: that way in the underlying issue, And so that was 197 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:48,680 Speaker 4: something I've never really had to do before. I think 198 00:10:48,679 --> 00:10:50,480 Speaker 4: the show was the first time I really ever had 199 00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:53,480 Speaker 4: to like talk about my feelings out loud, So there's 200 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:57,320 Speaker 4: that element, and then writing the book alone, having to 201 00:10:57,440 --> 00:11:01,520 Speaker 4: do that on a different magnitude really uncomfortable at first, 202 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:04,560 Speaker 4: but I'm really proud that I did it. But that 203 00:11:04,679 --> 00:11:07,640 Speaker 4: was definitely one of I think the uncomfortable moments was 204 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:10,840 Speaker 4: just laying all of that out there and just kind 205 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:13,280 Speaker 4: of letting people digest it however they want to and 206 00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:16,880 Speaker 4: their perspectives on it. But so far it's been it's 207 00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:20,360 Speaker 4: been good. I'm only gone kind feedback, so that's good. 208 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:24,280 Speaker 5: I will say. It has been cool to watch it 209 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:27,640 Speaker 5: go from which I didn't really know she was intent 210 00:11:27,679 --> 00:11:31,080 Speaker 5: on writing a book until I started to see, you know, 211 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:33,280 Speaker 5: she's done so many meetings with her mom. Who's this 212 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:37,000 Speaker 5: other lady I should probably ask questions? So it's cool 213 00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:40,480 Speaker 5: to see it transform from you know, a passion project 214 00:11:40,559 --> 00:11:45,000 Speaker 5: getting the story out with her mom's perspective, to seeing 215 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:47,720 Speaker 5: a little bit of the reaction from the deaf community, 216 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:51,439 Speaker 5: the non deaf community people and it taking on its 217 00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:55,880 Speaker 5: whole kind of own thing. When all of it started 218 00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:59,160 Speaker 5: was try to like figure out what her life story 219 00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:01,800 Speaker 5: was with her mom and get it out there for people. 220 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:03,720 Speaker 5: So it has been really cool to see it take 221 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:06,760 Speaker 5: its own sort of form, whatever that is. You know, 222 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:10,160 Speaker 5: who knows, but it has been cool to see. 223 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:11,480 Speaker 3: That's super fun. 224 00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:14,920 Speaker 2: Getting off the topic a little bit and still talking 225 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:18,959 Speaker 2: about Paradise, you guys are one of quite a bit 226 00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:22,080 Speaker 2: of couples who have come off Paradise and ended up 227 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:27,520 Speaker 2: getting engaged off the show, and you're getting married next month. 228 00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:32,800 Speaker 2: Now that we're a little bit removed from it, can 229 00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:34,480 Speaker 2: you guys let us in a little bit on how 230 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:38,000 Speaker 2: the breakup went down on Paradise, Like was it really legit? 231 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:41,440 Speaker 2: Because like we're all, you know, we get it here. 232 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:46,640 Speaker 2: Sometimes they're like, well, if you can't propose to her tomorrow, 233 00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:48,520 Speaker 2: then you better break up with her today. 234 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:53,680 Speaker 4: I so that was, like them a long question we 235 00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:55,880 Speaker 4: got even in person when people would like come up 236 00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:58,040 Speaker 4: to us after Paradise, they were life, it is the 237 00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:02,760 Speaker 4: breakup real? And yes, the breakup was very real. Like 238 00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:05,360 Speaker 4: that was a big shot to me. I really thought 239 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:07,320 Speaker 4: we were going to leave Paradise together, and it was 240 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,000 Speaker 4: one of those things I'm writing the book when I 241 00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:12,200 Speaker 4: went back and obviously watching the show back, I was like, Okay, 242 00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:14,400 Speaker 4: I really should not have been that surprised that it 243 00:13:14,559 --> 00:13:17,920 Speaker 4: was coming. And I think for a few reasons. So 244 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:20,640 Speaker 4: I think the biggest one is we told producers from 245 00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:23,480 Speaker 4: day one that we were not going to get engaged 246 00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:26,320 Speaker 4: on the show. That was just something that Yeah, I 247 00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:29,640 Speaker 4: think that was just something that we had talked about 248 00:13:29,679 --> 00:13:31,400 Speaker 4: because we had the first date and that was something 249 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:33,280 Speaker 4: that we had talked about, you know, kind of what 250 00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:36,880 Speaker 4: your goal of paradise is, and we were taking it seriously. 251 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:40,440 Speaker 4: But I just think the idea of an engagement after 252 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:42,640 Speaker 4: two weeks really scared us, and so we just said, 253 00:13:42,679 --> 00:13:44,240 Speaker 4: we're just going to take that pressure off. We're just 254 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,840 Speaker 4: going to get to know each other. So I don't 255 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:49,200 Speaker 4: know if maybe that was like an angle that the 256 00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:53,920 Speaker 4: producers maybe saw with us, and then just a lack 257 00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:57,560 Speaker 4: of communication. I mean, you guys saw he said I 258 00:13:57,600 --> 00:14:02,240 Speaker 4: love you. I'm TuS misheard. Last didn't think he intended 259 00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:04,920 Speaker 4: to say it because we had a conversation saying that 260 00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:08,800 Speaker 4: we weren't gonna feel rush to say I Love You again, 261 00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:12,240 Speaker 4: taking things slow and he said it out left field. 262 00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:14,520 Speaker 4: So it was just so many like things that we 263 00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:16,760 Speaker 4: just could not be on the same page about. And 264 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:19,000 Speaker 4: I think a big part of that was the show's 265 00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:22,000 Speaker 4: timing of everything, like it's just like, Okay, this is 266 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,600 Speaker 4: the week of I Love you, this is the week 267 00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:28,800 Speaker 4: of fantasy suites, and I think we just we're got it. Yeah, 268 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:32,640 Speaker 4: he just really struggled. I think, keep up with that 269 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:35,880 Speaker 4: timeline while trying to figure out, okay, do we really 270 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:38,480 Speaker 4: like each other? Is the elements of paradise and so 271 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:40,760 Speaker 4: all of it was very real. But I think that's 272 00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:43,680 Speaker 4: why it was really easy for us to reconnect afterwards. 273 00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:45,520 Speaker 4: And I think people get hung up on that of 274 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:49,640 Speaker 4: Danielle saying he said that you were his person, how 275 00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:51,960 Speaker 4: can you get back together with him? And part of me, 276 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:55,240 Speaker 4: it's like, the thing is, it's the show's elements, Like 277 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:58,720 Speaker 4: we might not be each other's people on the show 278 00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:01,440 Speaker 4: in that element, is really hard to find somebody that 279 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:05,280 Speaker 4: you match up perfectly with in that environment. You know, 280 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:08,040 Speaker 4: it works for some couples, but it didn't work for us. 281 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:11,120 Speaker 4: And but I think once you take away the show element, 282 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:14,840 Speaker 4: it was really easy for us to get back together. 283 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:18,440 Speaker 4: So yeah, that's kind of if that answers the question. 284 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:23,120 Speaker 5: For me, it was no, it was definitely real. I 285 00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:25,280 Speaker 5: get made fun of because I like would disappear to 286 00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:28,080 Speaker 5: the beach and walk around, and I think it was 287 00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:31,080 Speaker 5: actually uh beca. I had a good conversation with Becca. 288 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:34,200 Speaker 5: I was out there journaling and She's like, dude, what 289 00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:37,400 Speaker 5: am I doing here? And I'm like, dude, I feel you. 290 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:43,160 Speaker 5: And I was so perplexed because I had this little 291 00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:47,560 Speaker 5: inkling of there's something special, but it was like always 292 00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:51,440 Speaker 5: so like so close and then not quite and it 293 00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:53,720 Speaker 5: was so close and then not quite. So for like 294 00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:58,480 Speaker 5: the I love you in real life, if I said 295 00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:01,640 Speaker 5: I love you and the girl was just kind of 296 00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:05,080 Speaker 5: like yeah, that would be kind of like okay, what 297 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:07,520 Speaker 5: was that? So that for me was like the final 298 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:10,920 Speaker 5: things weren't working out, but I wanted them to. So 299 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:12,880 Speaker 5: it got to a point where it was like is 300 00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:17,760 Speaker 5: it me forcing? Like am I forcing this just because 301 00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:19,400 Speaker 5: I have a little feeling? And then you have the 302 00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:23,800 Speaker 5: show element the producers and she was slow and I 303 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:27,000 Speaker 5: was pretty gung host. So once I made the decision 304 00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:29,480 Speaker 5: like all right, this is not it, I don't care 305 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:31,760 Speaker 5: if I look bad, I just need to get it 306 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:35,320 Speaker 5: out and go home. Like That's kind of the point 307 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:37,640 Speaker 5: that I got to where it's like there's no going back. 308 00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:40,600 Speaker 5: At that point, I was just so done with kind 309 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:43,720 Speaker 5: of everything. I was just tired, you know. I'm like, 310 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:46,800 Speaker 5: I wanted to work out, but it's not working out. 311 00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:50,120 Speaker 5: So for after the show, it was easy because I'm 312 00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:52,640 Speaker 5: like this, I can totally control. You know. We went 313 00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:55,520 Speaker 5: out to a cabin in Oregon with no cell phone 314 00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:58,760 Speaker 5: service and it's just us, and if we can't get along, 315 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:02,400 Speaker 5: just us, it's that's a pretty good answer. There's nobody 316 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:07,040 Speaker 5: to blame, you know for that. So after it was 317 00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:09,360 Speaker 5: perfect because it was just like, all right, what was that? 318 00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:13,080 Speaker 5: Is there still any feeling here? Let's figure it out. 319 00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:15,879 Speaker 5: But at the time, it's just the emotions were so high, 320 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:18,520 Speaker 5: but they were at different places that it just didn't 321 00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:19,000 Speaker 5: match up. 322 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:21,760 Speaker 2: What was that conversation like when you decided to go 323 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:22,399 Speaker 2: to the cabin? 324 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:26,000 Speaker 5: So yeah, where you at? 325 00:17:31,359 --> 00:17:33,320 Speaker 4: No, it was a little bit more classy than that. 326 00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:35,840 Speaker 4: He texted me when we were flying out. So we 327 00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,359 Speaker 4: actually had to stay an extra day, I think, just 328 00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:41,639 Speaker 4: to film some follow up interviews and stuff. So I 329 00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:44,000 Speaker 4: actually didn't fly until two days after the break up, 330 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,560 Speaker 4: and he sent me a text at the airport, I 331 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:50,159 Speaker 4: think Jess, a very neutral text of Jess, I'm so 332 00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:51,760 Speaker 4: sorry that it had to play out. 333 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:53,240 Speaker 5: That way, blah blah blah. 334 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:56,359 Speaker 4: But you know, I was feeling a certain type of things, 335 00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:59,520 Speaker 4: and of course I'm calling him out, and he just said, 336 00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:01,680 Speaker 4: can we have a phone call and just kind of 337 00:18:01,720 --> 00:18:03,680 Speaker 4: house things out. So we did have a long phone 338 00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:06,720 Speaker 4: call when I landed in New York because I was 339 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:09,960 Speaker 4: living there at the time, and then kind of texted 340 00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:11,720 Speaker 4: a little bit for a few days, but there was 341 00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:14,480 Speaker 4: just no, oh, we're about together. It was kind of 342 00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:16,600 Speaker 4: like a situation ship at that point. I was like, 343 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:19,120 Speaker 4: I can't do that. When the show's about to air, 344 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:21,680 Speaker 4: you break up with me, Like that's just taking me back. 345 00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:25,360 Speaker 5: And I was thinking that, but I'm like I want 346 00:18:25,359 --> 00:18:27,360 Speaker 5: to see, like I just want to see what's there. 347 00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:30,000 Speaker 5: But I can't fully commit to this after because if 348 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:32,840 Speaker 5: I say you're not my person and then the following 349 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:35,840 Speaker 5: week I get back with you and then we break up. Also, 350 00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:37,560 Speaker 5: it's like, okay, bro, what are you doing? 351 00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:40,560 Speaker 4: This is so I know, yeah, I said, we can't 352 00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:42,880 Speaker 4: talk anymore, like we just need to take space kind 353 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:43,200 Speaker 4: of thing. 354 00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:43,800 Speaker 5: I think. 355 00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:48,159 Speaker 4: We took two days and he texted me and said, 356 00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:50,679 Speaker 4: I want to fly out. I want to come see you. 357 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,399 Speaker 4: I want to see you make this work. And I 358 00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:57,000 Speaker 4: said bet, and he came out to Oregon and it 359 00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:59,040 Speaker 4: was just a really good trip. Like I think that's 360 00:18:59,119 --> 00:19:01,639 Speaker 4: just like what we need. It was just two people, 361 00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:06,720 Speaker 4: no producers, no agenda, just are we compatible and. 362 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:08,560 Speaker 5: We're to start with the basics. 363 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:11,320 Speaker 2: No, I love it. That's all you have to do 364 00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:13,040 Speaker 2: is not talk to him for a few days. Then 365 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:15,760 Speaker 2: I'll call you like I must see you. 366 00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:20,439 Speaker 3: Yes, now you're definitely compatible. You do have a wedding 367 00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:24,280 Speaker 3: coming up. This is a really really exciting thing to 368 00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:27,800 Speaker 3: talk about because I think Bachelor Nation has been eagerly 369 00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:30,720 Speaker 3: awaiting the day of your wedding. Now ninety people have 370 00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:37,600 Speaker 3: been invited, and this is where my curiosity spiked. How 371 00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:40,520 Speaker 3: because I just remember this time when I was getting married. 372 00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:45,240 Speaker 3: How did you guys decide on ninety people? And how 373 00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:47,600 Speaker 3: in the world are you telling people or they're not 374 00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:49,240 Speaker 3: getting the invite, You're not even telling them, they're just 375 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:51,960 Speaker 3: not getting invited. How did you kind of filter it down? 376 00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:55,240 Speaker 5: I actually called people and told them they weren't getting invited. 377 00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:58,959 Speaker 3: Wow, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa Are you serious? 378 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:00,840 Speaker 2: Thank you for that? See headline. 379 00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:05,679 Speaker 5: Wait, I think that way we're at your wedding. 380 00:20:06,359 --> 00:20:09,120 Speaker 2: He had four hundred because he couldn't say no to anyone. 381 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:10,960 Speaker 3: I had one eighty. 382 00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:14,359 Speaker 5: Okay, that's a good in between. That's what our conversation 383 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:18,920 Speaker 5: was because I'm from Tulsa and my whole family's from here, 384 00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:21,200 Speaker 5: and she's got friends here. So it was like, Okay, 385 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:25,359 Speaker 5: if we do just all the bros and all of 386 00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:29,359 Speaker 5: our friends, it's like it's going to be five hundred people, 387 00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:33,560 Speaker 5: and we'd like to do people that we've actually spent 388 00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:36,000 Speaker 5: time with in the last both of us in the 389 00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:37,200 Speaker 5: last three years. 390 00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:40,200 Speaker 4: So we definitely wanted a smaller wedding. But he's won 391 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:44,439 Speaker 4: of ten eleven siblings, so his family alone is already 392 00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:49,480 Speaker 4: just Busea's no, yeah, yeah. So the smallest that we 393 00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:52,359 Speaker 4: could get it would be fifty and that would just 394 00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:54,600 Speaker 4: be family. Of course, we wanted our friends there, so 395 00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:57,360 Speaker 4: we got it to ninety. So that was the smallest 396 00:20:57,359 --> 00:20:59,920 Speaker 4: we could keep it while getting everyone that we have 397 00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:02,280 Speaker 4: a lot of time together and that was the requirement. 398 00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:04,399 Speaker 4: We said, people can't come to twenty if they haven't 399 00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:06,600 Speaker 4: met both of us. So we're not doing plus ones. 400 00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:10,880 Speaker 4: We're not inviting that I died because it or you know, 401 00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:12,880 Speaker 4: anything like that. We're not meeting people for the first 402 00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:13,800 Speaker 4: time on our wedding. 403 00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:16,879 Speaker 5: What's that Billie Eilish bad Guys song? That's kind of 404 00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:21,320 Speaker 5: what it was. It was like, Okay, unless we know him, 405 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,400 Speaker 5: it's going to be a lot of awkward conversations of 406 00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:26,919 Speaker 5: me I did. I called some of my friends and 407 00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:30,280 Speaker 5: basically said, YO, love you. You're not invited, but I 408 00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:34,040 Speaker 5: love you. Let's hang out soon, which she thought was weird. 409 00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:36,679 Speaker 5: I thought it was necessary. It's just we made a 410 00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:40,040 Speaker 5: hard cut off where it's like, Okay, I hope we 411 00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:42,800 Speaker 5: It's our wedding, so that's all we care about is 412 00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:45,960 Speaker 5: our wedding. I hope it's not such a big deal 413 00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:48,720 Speaker 5: that people aren't invited, that we're not friends. That's kind 414 00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:50,800 Speaker 5: of weird. But it's going to be under one hundred 415 00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:51,720 Speaker 5: people regardless. 416 00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:53,680 Speaker 4: But I don't think we know four hundred people, So 417 00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:56,159 Speaker 4: I don't know how you got four hundred people that. 418 00:21:56,800 --> 00:22:00,840 Speaker 2: He has a lot of connections in life's Fred's quick, 419 00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:01,720 Speaker 2: you know it does. 420 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:04,800 Speaker 4: Did you talk to everybody at your wedding when there's 421 00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:05,680 Speaker 4: four hundred people? 422 00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:09,280 Speaker 3: I did? We did, I think, talk to every single person, 423 00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:14,720 Speaker 3: which made it absolutely exhausting. I actually find it incredibly 424 00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:17,760 Speaker 3: admirable of you to call up the people that weren't 425 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:19,000 Speaker 3: good bye, thank you. 426 00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:21,439 Speaker 5: That's what I was hoping they would think. 427 00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:24,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, No, I think it is great, and I like 428 00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:25,879 Speaker 2: your rule that is like, if we haven't seen you 429 00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:29,639 Speaker 2: in three years, you're not obviously invited. And what I 430 00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:32,320 Speaker 2: did is yeah, we had, of course, like people there 431 00:22:32,359 --> 00:22:34,600 Speaker 2: that I had never met before from Jared's side, but 432 00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:37,000 Speaker 2: we were just like, I'm not meeting anyone for the 433 00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:39,520 Speaker 2: first time, so I'm going to say hi to my people, 434 00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:41,000 Speaker 2: You're gonna say hi to yours, but I'm not going 435 00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:43,280 Speaker 2: to like good, I'm not going over to your side. 436 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:47,200 Speaker 2: Your side, Yeah, because we had that's how we had 437 00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:50,119 Speaker 2: the room split up, like my friends and family, his 438 00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:52,320 Speaker 2: friends and family, and it was like, I'm not going 439 00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:54,320 Speaker 2: to waste time saying hello to people that I've never 440 00:22:54,359 --> 00:22:55,919 Speaker 2: met or have met like once or twice. 441 00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:57,560 Speaker 3: Why would I waste time talking to people that my 442 00:22:57,640 --> 00:22:59,560 Speaker 3: husband loves you? 443 00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:02,360 Speaker 2: Know, like obviously his family and people he cares about, 444 00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:05,480 Speaker 2: and friends that I have met before and love, but 445 00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:08,960 Speaker 2: not the right people, like not his cousins that he 446 00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:13,080 Speaker 2: really doesn't Yeah, actually. 447 00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:18,640 Speaker 5: He just hasn't met. I would have loved us all 448 00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:22,360 Speaker 5: to have hung out more before, but it's like, okay, yeah, but. 449 00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:24,920 Speaker 3: What about Bachelor Nations. So there are some Bachelor Nation 450 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:27,720 Speaker 3: people who made the cut. It was easy for them 451 00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:28,800 Speaker 3: to meet you in the last three and a half 452 00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:30,440 Speaker 3: years because some of them are on the same show 453 00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:34,800 Speaker 3: when you met. So how did you decide from Bachelor 454 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:37,119 Speaker 3: Nation who was coming and who wouldn't be. 455 00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:39,960 Speaker 4: I mean it's kind of the same requirement, which is 456 00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:44,000 Speaker 4: whoever we have maintained a relationship with post filming. I 457 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:46,120 Speaker 4: think we have a lot of friends in bastfor Nation, 458 00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:49,000 Speaker 4: but I think it's only a smaller group that we've 459 00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:50,639 Speaker 4: seen consistently outside of. 460 00:23:52,440 --> 00:24:02,000 Speaker 5: Like with just us, we have some guys from my season, Ivan, DeMar, Blake, Zach. 461 00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:07,880 Speaker 5: I maintained pretty close with them. Joe's coming because Serena. 462 00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:09,040 Speaker 5: We like Serena a lot. 463 00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:12,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, Like we don't like Joe though, huh. 464 00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:14,200 Speaker 5: But he's a good plus one great. 465 00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:17,560 Speaker 2: Time because I just saw Joe and Serena and they 466 00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:20,359 Speaker 2: were like, oh, we have Abigail Noah's wedding next and 467 00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:24,000 Speaker 2: so for you to delay just in naming Joe on 468 00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:27,280 Speaker 2: your list right there was really that's so good because 469 00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:31,960 Speaker 2: I actually believe that Noah thinks of him as a 470 00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:33,439 Speaker 2: plus one that he's met before. 471 00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:34,800 Speaker 3: Yeah. 472 00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:37,920 Speaker 5: Yeah, I like that with them, and they do a 473 00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:41,080 Speaker 5: lot of fun. We we do love them, So it's 474 00:24:41,119 --> 00:24:44,040 Speaker 5: it's the same criteria Thomas and Becca. We got to 475 00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:45,640 Speaker 5: spend a lot of time with them when we lived 476 00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:48,479 Speaker 5: in San Diego, and we're we have like a packed 477 00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:54,880 Speaker 5: a babysitting packed for when we have kids. So we're excited. 478 00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:55,960 Speaker 5: We're excited. 479 00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:58,479 Speaker 3: It's uh, it's gonna be a good group. And I 480 00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:02,439 Speaker 3: always love a little Joe raz because he deserves it 481 00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:06,600 Speaker 3: and he can handle it, and he handles it very hilariously. 482 00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:14,440 Speaker 3: Now to transition completely to kind of that wedding day, Noah, 483 00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:16,760 Speaker 3: how much involvement have you had in the planning process 484 00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:18,320 Speaker 3: before I ask these questions. 485 00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:21,800 Speaker 5: I'm a smart man and I got a wedding planner 486 00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:27,159 Speaker 5: in the group chat. I've done all the meetings, but 487 00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:31,320 Speaker 5: you know, I don't care about the color of the flowers. Yeah, 488 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:34,400 Speaker 5: the so for we have a lot of meetings, I'll 489 00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:36,800 Speaker 5: pop in for the things that I care about, which 490 00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:41,600 Speaker 5: is music, good food, and I wanted to make sure 491 00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:43,359 Speaker 5: we had lemon and cucumber water. 492 00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:46,840 Speaker 3: Let's go. That's nice. I like that of it. 493 00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:51,040 Speaker 5: Like I chime in on the details, like, oh yeah. 494 00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:52,280 Speaker 3: Sounds good. Okay. 495 00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:54,720 Speaker 2: Because it was ninety people, were you guys able to 496 00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:58,199 Speaker 2: put it together relatively quickly? Because I remember Abigail, it 497 00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:00,360 Speaker 2: was like, I feel like this spring that you said 498 00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:02,280 Speaker 2: on Instagram that you were like, oh, we don't have 499 00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:03,960 Speaker 2: a date. We haven't really started planning. Then all of 500 00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:06,560 Speaker 2: a sudden, you gotta yeah. 501 00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:08,240 Speaker 4: So we actually didn't start planning, I want to say 502 00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:11,800 Speaker 4: until spring. It was one of those things we got 503 00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:13,760 Speaker 4: engaged and then we started working on our house, and 504 00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:15,560 Speaker 4: so we just kind of kept putting it off because 505 00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:17,680 Speaker 4: the home projects and everything. We said, when the house 506 00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:20,480 Speaker 4: is done, we'll get married, and then spring rolled around 507 00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:22,440 Speaker 4: we were like, okay, this house is no, we're close 508 00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:25,320 Speaker 4: to being done. Done, the house will never be done. Okay, 509 00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:28,040 Speaker 4: let's play on the wedding. Let's take a break. And 510 00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:31,920 Speaker 4: with ninety people, it was easier just because we are 511 00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:35,600 Speaker 4: communic communicating with those people a lot more than I think, 512 00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:38,479 Speaker 4: like it extended guest list, so I think just figuring 513 00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:43,000 Speaker 4: out who can come, who can getting them in Oklahoma too, 514 00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:45,399 Speaker 4: I feel like it's easier than like California, Like vendors 515 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:48,720 Speaker 4: aren't booked crazy far in the bands, Like there's just 516 00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:52,520 Speaker 4: a lot more but it's not as competitive, I guess. 517 00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,159 Speaker 4: So we were able to book everything that we wanted 518 00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:58,040 Speaker 4: and then also just having a really good wedding planner 519 00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:00,360 Speaker 4: definitely helped us. 520 00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:03,639 Speaker 5: There's a common theme that I'm learning with us is 521 00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:07,760 Speaker 5: things don't go, but when they go, they go fast. 522 00:27:08,359 --> 00:27:10,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's how you guys operate. 523 00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:15,080 Speaker 4: Apparently, Yeah twenty was quit, but it was a lot. 524 00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:17,240 Speaker 4: So that's why we're just so ready for the wedding 525 00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:19,680 Speaker 4: to be here. And like we are just not planners. 526 00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:24,040 Speaker 4: We don't enjoy planning, so it's definitely been outside of 527 00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:27,280 Speaker 4: our comfort zone planning a wedding, but we're very excited 528 00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:27,520 Speaker 4: for it. 529 00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:30,920 Speaker 3: But just yeah, soak up the day. I can't say 530 00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:34,120 Speaker 3: I was like absolutely ecstatic for the wedding day because 531 00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:38,040 Speaker 3: I was more anxious about the event, but it was 532 00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:39,840 Speaker 3: It will go down as one of the most fun 533 00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:43,720 Speaker 3: days I've ever had, and so make it fun. It's 534 00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:47,440 Speaker 3: kind of a night that you don't get judged because 535 00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:49,800 Speaker 3: it's your day. You can do whatever you want, and 536 00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:53,600 Speaker 3: so we just went all out. It was great. I 537 00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:56,920 Speaker 3: hope this wedding is something that you two look back 538 00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:59,800 Speaker 3: on with a big old smile. But obviously you guys 539 00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:02,320 Speaker 3: are already smiling because your relationships in such a good place. 540 00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:05,240 Speaker 3: So I hope to not ruin anything in your relationship 541 00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:07,359 Speaker 3: with this question, but I want to shoot it to 542 00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:11,600 Speaker 3: Abigail first. Abigail, you heard or you knew that Noah's 543 00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:14,600 Speaker 3: brother was going to be going on the Bachelorette this year. 544 00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:17,679 Speaker 3: You know his brother obviously fairly well, there's a lot 545 00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:19,040 Speaker 3: of them. I don't know how you know them all. 546 00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:23,000 Speaker 3: Were you confident that he was going to show up 547 00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:27,480 Speaker 3: and show out well or were you nervous about how 548 00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:29,360 Speaker 3: he was going to be on the show, knowing him 549 00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:32,480 Speaker 3: before the show started, trying. 550 00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:34,040 Speaker 4: To start some family job right before no. 551 00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:38,720 Speaker 3: I said, I have no interest in that, but if 552 00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:40,640 Speaker 3: you do, that's good for our podcast, so I don't 553 00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:41,320 Speaker 3: mind it either. 554 00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:44,560 Speaker 4: Yeah, So with Aaron, when he said he was going 555 00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:46,760 Speaker 4: on the show, I was really excited for him, and 556 00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:51,240 Speaker 4: I thought he would do really well on it. Jess. 557 00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:54,280 Speaker 4: I think he's a good looking guy, He's very charismatic, 558 00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:57,560 Speaker 4: and I think he, out of the three of us, 559 00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:01,480 Speaker 4: I think is the most open in terms of having 560 00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:05,320 Speaker 4: kind of those deep conversations, like moving quickly doesn't scare him. 561 00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:07,560 Speaker 4: I think just some of the elements of the show 562 00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:09,960 Speaker 4: I think can be off putting for people, like being 563 00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:14,920 Speaker 4: proposed that proposing at the end the timeline everything, I 564 00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:17,120 Speaker 4: was like, no, I think he can handle all of 565 00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:21,520 Speaker 4: that and handle it really well. Watching it back, I 566 00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:26,400 Speaker 4: think there were things that we didn't really expect from him. 567 00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:28,640 Speaker 4: He was pretty tight lift when he came home, and 568 00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:31,760 Speaker 4: so I was thinking, you know, he probably just had 569 00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:33,960 Speaker 4: an average experience, maybe just didn't hit it off with 570 00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:36,760 Speaker 4: her super well. And then watching it back and seeing 571 00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:42,360 Speaker 4: his storyline and everything, I was not expecting it. I 572 00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:45,360 Speaker 4: was not expecting it. But I think he ended up 573 00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:47,840 Speaker 4: being right at the end of the day. But I 574 00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:50,680 Speaker 4: think to this day, we still don't really know what 575 00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:53,960 Speaker 4: Devin did in the house that trying to all the 576 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:57,640 Speaker 4: guys off from him. We still don't know that, But 577 00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:01,720 Speaker 4: he ended up being right. So I us he knew. 578 00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:03,320 Speaker 5: Something that we thought. 579 00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:06,440 Speaker 3: That's interesting that you say that. I haven't thought of 580 00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:09,960 Speaker 3: it that way. Revisionist history is interesting when at the 581 00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:12,960 Speaker 3: time we're like, hey, he's just being a jerk to Devon, 582 00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:16,440 Speaker 3: and then the show gets done, we see the behaviors 583 00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:18,640 Speaker 3: of Devon here as of recent and we go, well, 584 00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:22,120 Speaker 3: maybe he was trying to tell us something, or maybe 585 00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:25,080 Speaker 3: he was pointing at something that we just didn't know 586 00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:26,600 Speaker 3: at the time as viewers. 587 00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:30,880 Speaker 2: He definitely got vibes. He was probably pretty intuitive about him. 588 00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:34,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's interesting that people are going, hey, maybe 589 00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:36,200 Speaker 3: we should reconsider it. 590 00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:40,160 Speaker 2: Aaron is though he is. He's out there saying I'm right, 591 00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:40,560 Speaker 2: I'm right. 592 00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:44,400 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, So he's out there saying he's right. He's 593 00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:47,360 Speaker 3: validating himself. Does he feel validated at this point, Like, 594 00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:50,160 Speaker 3: does it feel like he is being validated or is 595 00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:53,000 Speaker 3: it kind of now just lost cause. 596 00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:57,400 Speaker 4: I think he definitely feels very validated. I think it's 597 00:30:57,440 --> 00:30:59,440 Speaker 4: what those things like we were talking about. He probably 598 00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:02,240 Speaker 4: wishes he got that validation when the show was aired 599 00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:05,240 Speaker 4: or when he was on the show. And you know, 600 00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:07,720 Speaker 4: Devin does something to piss Jhen off and she sends 601 00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:11,760 Speaker 4: him home but I think he's happy that he's validated, 602 00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:14,520 Speaker 4: but I don't think he's happy at how it ultimately 603 00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:17,440 Speaker 4: went down. I mean, just the stuff that Devin did 604 00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:19,640 Speaker 4: post show and the things that have come out about him. 605 00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:22,760 Speaker 4: I just think that's a whole nother ballpark, and I'm 606 00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:25,920 Speaker 4: not rooting for that. He's not saying yes, like did 607 00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:28,720 Speaker 4: all that, like I win kind of thing. I think 608 00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:32,000 Speaker 4: it's more just I knew something was off about that guy, 609 00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:35,280 Speaker 4: and I feel very validated knowing that it was that off, 610 00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:36,479 Speaker 4: if that makes sense. 611 00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:40,680 Speaker 5: I had a little bit of the same because I 612 00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:44,880 Speaker 5: did not have any love, no love for Noah for 613 00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:48,280 Speaker 5: the first week or two when it started airing for Noah, 614 00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:49,800 Speaker 5: Noah me for you. 615 00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:54,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, you mean on your Bachelorette season when I was on. 616 00:31:54,520 --> 00:31:58,280 Speaker 5: And then mine, I had the privilege for it to 617 00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:03,560 Speaker 5: turn mid season and then like, oh okay, this whole 618 00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:06,840 Speaker 5: no eventit thing, here's what we're seeing. So I actually 619 00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:10,520 Speaker 5: mine was a different situation, whereas Eron's it's like now 620 00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:12,680 Speaker 5: the show's done and now he's trying to focus on, 621 00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:15,560 Speaker 5: you know, the military and everything, to where it's like 622 00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:18,440 Speaker 5: it's after the fact. It would have been great then 623 00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:21,920 Speaker 5: or to use then, you know, or anything like that 624 00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:24,960 Speaker 5: to maybe get him out and get more time with 625 00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:26,760 Speaker 5: Jen sort of thing. And it was after the fact, 626 00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:30,440 Speaker 5: so now it's like he's definitely feeling vindicated for it, 627 00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:34,160 Speaker 5: but it only stirs up more because Jen's ended up 628 00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:38,920 Speaker 5: being the most hurt from it because Devin ended up being, 629 00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:42,160 Speaker 5: you know, completely different than she thought. But it would 630 00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:44,400 Speaker 5: have been nice, I think he thought to have during 631 00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:47,200 Speaker 5: the show, but he's not mad after the fact. 632 00:32:57,800 --> 00:33:02,200 Speaker 2: So on your season, they they had you. I'm just 633 00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:05,280 Speaker 2: going to say, maybe the producers lightly suggested that you 634 00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:08,360 Speaker 2: should hand Bennett a book or was it No, it 635 00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:11,600 Speaker 2: was Bennett handed you a book. Yeah, Bennett handed you 636 00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:15,360 Speaker 2: a book about emotional intelligence? Was that correct? And then 637 00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:18,520 Speaker 2: because that was like his thing, he was so intelligent. 638 00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:25,040 Speaker 2: And then on this season we know that it was 639 00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:29,480 Speaker 2: a producer move that they had Aaron give Devin a 640 00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:33,200 Speaker 2: book because we know the book was actually fake, Like 641 00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:36,560 Speaker 2: they literally had him give a fake book because the 642 00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:37,480 Speaker 2: sluice out there. 643 00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:39,760 Speaker 5: We got to the bottom of it. 644 00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:42,560 Speaker 2: We did, because there's bachelor sluice that said that this 645 00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:44,920 Speaker 2: book didn't exist. Okay, tell us everything. 646 00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:50,040 Speaker 5: The Four Pillars book self help book, MS sorry, four Agreements. 647 00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:51,480 Speaker 3: Oh, I know the Four Agreements. 648 00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:52,840 Speaker 5: Yeah, that's what it was. 649 00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:55,680 Speaker 2: So it's part of that book or is that book 650 00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:59,360 Speaker 2: different if they put a different cover on it because 651 00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:04,960 Speaker 2: they didn't. Ah, still, well, thanks for bringing light to 652 00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:05,680 Speaker 2: the situation. 653 00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:07,040 Speaker 3: That makes sense. 654 00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:11,600 Speaker 4: We brought light so trying to get DEVI in the 655 00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:13,960 Speaker 4: Four Agreements. 656 00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:15,880 Speaker 3: And they don't have the rights to it. Just like 657 00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:17,960 Speaker 3: a painting, they have to cover up on the show. 658 00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:20,239 Speaker 3: They can't get the rights, it's too expensive, and so 659 00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:22,160 Speaker 3: they covered up and do it that way. Yeah, that 660 00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:22,680 Speaker 3: makes sense. 661 00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:26,960 Speaker 2: Okay, okay, okay, So was there a conversation was like, oh, 662 00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:29,880 Speaker 2: your brother had this book handed to him, now, like 663 00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:31,280 Speaker 2: you should hand it over. 664 00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:34,920 Speaker 5: To somebody else. I think Aaron and I are similar 665 00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:37,399 Speaker 5: to where when I was on I was like, Okay, 666 00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:41,160 Speaker 5: I'm not going to go look for trouble, but I'm 667 00:34:41,239 --> 00:34:43,480 Speaker 5: sure as heck not going to back down if it 668 00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:44,399 Speaker 5: comes my way. 669 00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:45,440 Speaker 2: Okay, so that's me. 670 00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:47,880 Speaker 5: Yeah, And so for me, I was going to go 671 00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:49,840 Speaker 5: out of my way to give something to Bennett. But 672 00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:53,120 Speaker 5: if Bennett felt the nerve to do something, then sure. 673 00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:56,680 Speaker 5: I think it was a similar situation to where Aaron 674 00:34:57,640 --> 00:35:00,920 Speaker 5: he's not gonna not do something if somebody to him sideways. 675 00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:03,480 Speaker 5: I think I know him pretty well enough to where 676 00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:07,040 Speaker 5: it's the perfect candidate for that to happen. 677 00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:10,520 Speaker 4: But I really don't think he was put it two 678 00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:13,720 Speaker 4: and tune together that Noah had given a book until 679 00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:17,000 Speaker 4: after that and then watching it play out that way. 680 00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:20,640 Speaker 3: Oh, the producers are sitting there being like yes, yes. 681 00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:23,960 Speaker 5: In the moment, he's more like, all right, how do 682 00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:26,359 Speaker 5: I like? I don't want to look like a dick here, 683 00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:30,160 Speaker 5: but this guy's interrupting, you know, with ice cream, And 684 00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:32,480 Speaker 5: then it was like, okay, what do I do? Then 685 00:35:32,520 --> 00:35:35,960 Speaker 5: you hear people like dude, he has no awareness, give 686 00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:39,000 Speaker 5: him a book. And he's like, dude, give him a book. 687 00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:40,040 Speaker 3: Yeah. 688 00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:44,560 Speaker 5: I really don't think he was thinking, ooh, play on, 689 00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:45,600 Speaker 5: this is going to be a nice thing. 690 00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:47,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, so he wasn't aware. 691 00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:48,520 Speaker 3: I to be. 692 00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:51,600 Speaker 2: I didn't remember. I didn't remember that scene of you 693 00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:53,840 Speaker 2: guys until it was brought to my attention that a 694 00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:55,040 Speaker 2: similar thing had happened with you. 695 00:35:55,239 --> 00:35:55,520 Speaker 3: Ben. 696 00:35:55,640 --> 00:35:57,920 Speaker 2: Did remember you remembered right off the bat. 697 00:35:57,800 --> 00:36:00,239 Speaker 3: I think I told you you did. I was like, wow, 698 00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:01,520 Speaker 3: that's some impressive. 699 00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:05,360 Speaker 5: That was a bizarre situation. If you put yourself in 700 00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:07,560 Speaker 5: that situation. That's a bizarre situation. 701 00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:11,400 Speaker 3: It's a very weird situation. Speaking of weird situations, is 702 00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:16,080 Speaker 3: Bennett invited to the wedding? 703 00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:19,080 Speaker 5: I have no hate for Bennett because I see, I 704 00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:22,920 Speaker 5: see Senor Bennet has a baby now, so I still 705 00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:26,439 Speaker 5: he's still chirps. Also get comments and I'll chur back, 706 00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:28,480 Speaker 5: but I have no hate for you. 707 00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:35,400 Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, Well, your brother is just a prime candidate 708 00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:40,239 Speaker 2: for Paradise and it's coming back, So what's the encouragement 709 00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:43,400 Speaker 2: level there? And like how would you prep them? 710 00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:46,560 Speaker 4: So the timing would have to be really like just 711 00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:48,960 Speaker 4: perfect because he is doing his military stuff and it's 712 00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:53,040 Speaker 4: around the time of Paradise. If he gets the opportunity, 713 00:36:53,239 --> 00:36:56,520 Speaker 4: I am team Aaron going on Paradise. I think he 714 00:36:57,120 --> 00:37:00,440 Speaker 4: can handle all the elements of Paradise feeling, and I 715 00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:03,279 Speaker 4: think he really wants to meet his person and it 716 00:37:03,360 --> 00:37:06,880 Speaker 4: works for us. So I'm definitely team do Paradise. If 717 00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:08,719 Speaker 4: the opportunity works out. 718 00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:14,440 Speaker 5: Yeah, I'd say fly at sixteen's go to Paradise. If 719 00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:16,360 Speaker 5: it was held up next to each other, he should 720 00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:20,440 Speaker 5: fly up sixteens because also, you left the show because 721 00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:22,880 Speaker 5: he said that, So it's like, yeah, stick with that. 722 00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:25,400 Speaker 5: But if the timing was nice, I would love to 723 00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:29,759 Speaker 5: see a similar I liked Paradise because you can be 724 00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:34,239 Speaker 5: your own villain if you want. You can choose one 725 00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:36,799 Speaker 5: girl to kick it off, and if you say you're 726 00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:39,160 Speaker 5: gonna stay with her, stay with her and bounce around. 727 00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:42,279 Speaker 5: But you can kind of make what you want. There's 728 00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:45,120 Speaker 5: more options, there's more guys and stuff like that. So 729 00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:48,080 Speaker 5: I think if the timing was nice, I would love 730 00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:50,399 Speaker 5: to see Aaron go on Paradise because he I think 731 00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:52,359 Speaker 5: he would have a lot of fun and I think 732 00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:54,359 Speaker 5: he would get a different you'd get a different view 733 00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:57,880 Speaker 5: of him which is way less serious and way less 734 00:37:57,960 --> 00:38:04,760 Speaker 5: book givy Baby shredded. So it's like, okay, yeah he should. 735 00:38:04,880 --> 00:38:06,879 Speaker 3: He should go on the beach. Anybody has a six pack? 736 00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:08,719 Speaker 3: I always just say go on the beach, Like if 737 00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:11,319 Speaker 3: anything else, just take get your moment. Yeah, yeah, get 738 00:38:11,360 --> 00:38:11,840 Speaker 3: your moment. 739 00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:12,800 Speaker 4: Take it. 740 00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:16,080 Speaker 3: Uh, speaking of books, doesn't have a six pack? 741 00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:19,120 Speaker 5: We we do have a six pack. 742 00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:23,120 Speaker 3: What we do have just a few minutes here with 743 00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:26,160 Speaker 3: you to turn them back around. Abigail. Why we're here 744 00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:29,120 Speaker 3: and what we started with is your book that's out now, 745 00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:32,440 Speaker 3: The Deaf Girl. Uh, first question, where can people find it? 746 00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:35,640 Speaker 4: You can find The Duck Girl on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, 747 00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:38,839 Speaker 4: and Target. And I also did the audio book as well, 748 00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:39,960 Speaker 4: and that's on Audible. 749 00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:43,040 Speaker 3: The hardest thing I've ever done was the audible book. 750 00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:46,960 Speaker 3: Reading it was awful. It took me so long. It 751 00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:49,240 Speaker 3: was so frustrating. I don't know if you had that experience. 752 00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:52,000 Speaker 3: It was harder than writing the book. For those like 753 00:38:52,280 --> 00:38:53,840 Speaker 3: week the week that I recorded. 754 00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:55,120 Speaker 5: You should try it death. 755 00:38:55,719 --> 00:38:57,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, that would add an element. 756 00:38:57,840 --> 00:39:00,200 Speaker 4: It felt like Feasterpy all over again because I do 757 00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:04,400 Speaker 4: struggle to say certain words correctly, and there were a 758 00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:06,799 Speaker 4: lot of those words and so he there's a lot 759 00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:07,560 Speaker 4: of retakes. 760 00:39:07,480 --> 00:39:09,920 Speaker 5: You should touch on. One of the things they kept 761 00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:15,000 Speaker 5: in the audio book is some of the incorrect words 762 00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:17,680 Speaker 5: or flow. That's not what you would expect from perfect 763 00:39:17,719 --> 00:39:19,759 Speaker 5: audiobook because that is sort of how it is. 764 00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:23,799 Speaker 4: We're just understanding. I think they were like, Okay, you're 765 00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:26,480 Speaker 4: a death, We're not going to be super critical about it. 766 00:39:26,560 --> 00:39:28,360 Speaker 2: So it's imperfect authentic. 767 00:39:28,520 --> 00:39:31,759 Speaker 5: I like that authentic, better authentic. 768 00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:34,879 Speaker 3: Genuine and authentic. Final question for you before I threw 769 00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:38,200 Speaker 3: it back to Ashley Abigail. When somebody reads the book, 770 00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:41,479 Speaker 3: they closed the book, what do you hope they get 771 00:39:41,520 --> 00:39:42,360 Speaker 3: out of the book? 772 00:39:43,840 --> 00:39:46,719 Speaker 4: I just the biggest thing I wanted is just to 773 00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:50,480 Speaker 4: provide comfort and just feeling like you're not alone in this, 774 00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:53,279 Speaker 4: because I think when you kind of read my mom's perspective, 775 00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:55,759 Speaker 4: she fell very alone at the time. It was such 776 00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:58,240 Speaker 4: a new thing. She didn't know anybody would call her implants, 777 00:39:58,280 --> 00:40:00,440 Speaker 4: so she didn't really know where to start. And then 778 00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:03,960 Speaker 4: kind of my perspective is trying to navigate, you know, 779 00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:07,000 Speaker 4: all their situations in middle school, high school, college to 780 00:40:07,080 --> 00:40:09,520 Speaker 4: show and just feeling like the only person in the 781 00:40:09,520 --> 00:40:11,360 Speaker 4: world that knows what I'm going through is my sister 782 00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:13,880 Speaker 4: because she also has a hearing loss, and so I 783 00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:16,480 Speaker 4: think just trying to whoever picks up the book if 784 00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:19,759 Speaker 4: they're in a similar situation. Just knowing that there are 785 00:40:19,800 --> 00:40:22,360 Speaker 4: people out there, you know, like me, like other people 786 00:40:23,280 --> 00:40:26,800 Speaker 4: that have a very shared experience. And that was something 787 00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:29,560 Speaker 4: that I'm really appreciated on the book tour, was just 788 00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:32,520 Speaker 4: seeing all the people that have culplar implants and it 789 00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:35,440 Speaker 4: just is like an unspoken language that connect us, like 790 00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:38,000 Speaker 4: we could just talk for hours about all of our 791 00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:42,120 Speaker 4: shared experiences, and I kind of forgot how comforting that feels, 792 00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:44,880 Speaker 4: just to know that somebody out there knows exactly what 793 00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:46,680 Speaker 4: it feels like when you were so tired of listening 794 00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:48,960 Speaker 4: at the end of the day, or how embarrassing it 795 00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:50,800 Speaker 4: is when your battery dies. You know, it just seems 796 00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:53,239 Speaker 4: like that. So that's kind of the biggest thing that 797 00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:54,800 Speaker 4: I want it with the book is just for people 798 00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:58,399 Speaker 4: to feel like, you know, you have somebody going through 799 00:40:58,440 --> 00:40:59,520 Speaker 4: the exact same thing. 800 00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:03,360 Speaker 2: Well, speaking of shared experiences, do you have a friendship 801 00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:03,840 Speaker 2: with Daisy? 802 00:41:03,880 --> 00:41:04,120 Speaker 5: Now? 803 00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:08,600 Speaker 4: We're acquaintances. I know we've connected on social media. I've 804 00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:11,040 Speaker 4: not actually gotten a chance to meet her in person, 805 00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:14,000 Speaker 4: but that was one thing I also really appreciated about 806 00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:16,799 Speaker 4: Daisy sharing her story. And something I always tried to 807 00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:20,400 Speaker 4: emphasize with hearing loss is it really is a spectrum 808 00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:22,880 Speaker 4: at the end of the day. Everyone's experience is just 809 00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:25,160 Speaker 4: so different with it. And I know she has a 810 00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:27,399 Speaker 4: cool firm plan as well, but she has a very 811 00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:31,880 Speaker 4: different experience. She lost her hearing later in life and 812 00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:35,799 Speaker 4: had to figure out well. I thought it was just 813 00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:38,879 Speaker 4: another really cool reminder of you know, you have two 814 00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:43,160 Speaker 4: people maybe try to label the same, but her story 815 00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:46,040 Speaker 4: is also really fascinating. But no I have not gotten 816 00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:47,879 Speaker 4: a chance to meet her in person yet. 817 00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:51,240 Speaker 2: All right, guys, well, thank you so much for giving 818 00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:54,319 Speaker 2: us your time, especially at such a busy point of 819 00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:57,279 Speaker 2: your life. We really appreciate it and just wants you 820 00:41:57,360 --> 00:41:59,360 Speaker 2: need the best wedding day of all time. 821 00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:01,920 Speaker 4: Thank you, thanks for having us. 822 00:42:02,120 --> 00:42:05,719 Speaker 5: Appreciate you guys, last long and Abby, Ben, thank you 823 00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:07,200 Speaker 5: for getting my name right this time? 824 00:42:07,840 --> 00:42:08,839 Speaker 3: What I do last time? 825 00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:10,480 Speaker 2: What did you do last time? 826 00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:11,359 Speaker 3: You did an. 827 00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:13,320 Speaker 5: Interview with Nate Michelle right before. 828 00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:17,759 Speaker 3: That makes sense and that left a bad taste in 829 00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:21,000 Speaker 3: your mouth. Noah, I'm sorry. I apologize and. 830 00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:22,879 Speaker 4: To bring it up. 831 00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:27,319 Speaker 3: This is the new start to something special, Noah, Abigail again. 832 00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:30,360 Speaker 3: You can get The Deaf Girl pretty much wherever you 833 00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:33,600 Speaker 3: can get books, but Barnes and Noble you said Amazon 834 00:42:34,040 --> 00:42:37,640 Speaker 3: and the third one you said, target the Deaf Girls out. 835 00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:41,080 Speaker 3: Now make sure you go check it out. Appreciate you both, 836 00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:41,799 Speaker 3: Thanks for coming on. 837 00:42:42,719 --> 00:42:44,000 Speaker 4: Thanks guys, Hie. 838 00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:48,600 Speaker 1: Follow the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast on 839 00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:51,839 Speaker 1: iHeartRadio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.