1 00:00:00,760 --> 00:00:03,880 Speaker 1: All right, guys, welcome into another rewind episode of Disgrace, 2 00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:07,840 Speaker 1: and this one is on Amy Winehouse's originally released back 3 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:12,080 Speaker 1: on May fourteenth, twenty nineteen. And I remember the day 4 00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:14,920 Speaker 1: I recorded this episode. It was a day after I 5 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:17,840 Speaker 1: can't recall if it was the day after the Oscars 6 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:22,560 Speaker 1: or the day after the the Grammys, but just in 7 00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:26,279 Speaker 1: this weird world that we live in. Coincidentally, one of 8 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:31,240 Speaker 1: my friends, Anthony Rossimondo, had just won in either an 9 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:35,560 Speaker 1: Oscar or Grammy won both for the song Shallow, which 10 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:40,919 Speaker 1: he co wrote with Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper and Andrew 11 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:44,800 Speaker 1: Wyatt from Mike Snow And I remember just being really 12 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:47,520 Speaker 1: happy for him and completely blown away. And I knew 13 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:50,720 Speaker 1: that Anthony had a connection because Anthony was briefly in 14 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:56,640 Speaker 1: the Libertines he replaced Pete Tarti after that whole thing 15 00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:59,400 Speaker 1: went down, and he was friends with Carl and he 16 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:03,360 Speaker 1: was part of the scene that gave birth to Amy Winehouse. 17 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:06,440 Speaker 1: So I happily went back into the script before I 18 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:08,800 Speaker 1: recorded it, and I included a little shout out for Anthony, 19 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:10,440 Speaker 1: which I thought would be fun for the listeners. So 20 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:13,080 Speaker 1: you'll hear that little nugget in this episode. Plus what 21 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:15,560 Speaker 1: you'll also hear in this episode is a lot about 22 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:18,640 Speaker 1: that that actual UK kind of what we would call 23 00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:22,800 Speaker 1: now ind sleas but wasn't really called that then scene 24 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:27,760 Speaker 1: where Amy Winehouse came out of fascinating look into that world. 25 00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:30,199 Speaker 1: I love this episode. I hope you do as well. 26 00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:32,160 Speaker 1: Get back at me six one seven, nine oh six 27 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:34,200 Speaker 1: six sixty three eight let me know what you guys think. 28 00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:52,040 Speaker 1: Disgraceland is a production of Double Elvis. The stories about 29 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:56,120 Speaker 1: Amy Winehouse are insane. She drank her weight in alcohol, 30 00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:59,840 Speaker 1: brazenly hit on Prince Harry, tied herself off to main 31 00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:03,920 Speaker 1: more heroin than nineteen seventy six Keith Richards, and tied 32 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:07,040 Speaker 1: herself to a boy named Blake who is the baddest 33 00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:11,880 Speaker 1: of bad influences. Amy was also at times inspired and 34 00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:16,760 Speaker 1: most always musically speaking, at least inspiring. And Amy Winehouse 35 00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:19,720 Speaker 1: made great music. That music you heard at the top 36 00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:22,600 Speaker 1: of the show that wasn't great music that was a 37 00:02:22,639 --> 00:02:26,640 Speaker 1: preset loop from my melotron called Melo Tango Flash Flash 38 00:02:26,639 --> 00:02:30,800 Speaker 1: Flash BK one. I played you that loop because I 39 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:34,280 Speaker 1: can't afford the license for sexy back by Justin Timberlake 40 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:37,320 Speaker 1: and why would I play you that specific slice of 41 00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:38,920 Speaker 1: rapture inspired cheese? 42 00:02:38,919 --> 00:02:41,760 Speaker 2: Could I afford it? Because that was. 43 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:45,000 Speaker 1: The number one song in America on October twenty seven, 44 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:47,760 Speaker 1: two thousand and six, And that was the day that 45 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:52,040 Speaker 1: Amy Winehouse released Back to Black, her smash second album, 46 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:55,000 Speaker 1: an album that would skyrocket her to superstart him and 47 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:57,880 Speaker 1: make her an easy mark for both the paparazzi and 48 00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:01,959 Speaker 1: her demons, a suffocating reality that would kill the very 49 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:04,160 Speaker 1: thing inside of her that pushed. 50 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:05,720 Speaker 2: Her to make music in the first place. 51 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:11,440 Speaker 1: On this episode, a mellow tango electro Cheese, a fleeting 52 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:34,079 Speaker 1: muse in Amy Winehouse. I'm Jake Brennan and this is Disgraceland. 53 00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:44,040 Speaker 1: Her eyes were open as she walked down the sidewalk 54 00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:48,440 Speaker 1: at Jason Camden Square, but they were far away, distant 55 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:52,040 Speaker 1: they may as well have been closed. Amy Winehouse saw 56 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:54,120 Speaker 1: none of the chaos around her as she made her 57 00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:57,480 Speaker 1: way down the London street from Holly Arms, her local, 58 00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:01,600 Speaker 1: to her flat. Around the way, the cameras there flash 59 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:05,280 Speaker 1: the intrusive shouts from members of the paparazzi and their commands. 60 00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:07,760 Speaker 2: Do this, don't do that? How's redg When was. 61 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:09,760 Speaker 1: The last time he saw Blake, When are we getting 62 00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:14,400 Speaker 1: new music? To Amy, it was white noise. As disruptive 63 00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:17,720 Speaker 1: as it was, she could no longer register it. She'd 64 00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:20,240 Speaker 1: walk down the street and affect her on thousand yard 65 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:23,920 Speaker 1: junkie stare. It wasn't difficult. She'd done her time in 66 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:26,599 Speaker 1: the shooting gallery. Even if she was off smack, and 67 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:29,159 Speaker 1: even if she was drunk, she knew how to project 68 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:34,000 Speaker 1: the gaze. Amy would trick herself into thinking about something else. Music, 69 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:37,560 Speaker 1: Always music. She'd watch her voice as if the sound 70 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:40,360 Speaker 1: of it was a physical thing that could be tracked visually. 71 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:42,800 Speaker 2: Amy would take a melody. 72 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:45,400 Speaker 1: Sometimes one of her own, something she was working on 73 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:48,760 Speaker 1: these days. It was usually a classic from the Torch Songbook, 74 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:51,680 Speaker 1: from one of the jazz grades she admired and studied, 75 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:55,960 Speaker 1: Saravaon or Tony Bennett, and Amy would imagine that melody 76 00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:58,960 Speaker 1: passing over her lips and rising up into the sky, 77 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:03,520 Speaker 1: flow freely, without the limitations of this cruel world. It 78 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:06,640 Speaker 1: would move with ease around the clouds from left to right, 79 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:10,919 Speaker 1: slinking and sliding over the imagined bars of some cosmic scale, 80 00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:14,359 Speaker 1: a sonic manifestation of the emotion welling up inside of 81 00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:17,560 Speaker 1: it a heavily mascarred vision board, like one of those 82 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:21,080 Speaker 1: transparent acetate sheets the music school teachers would place on 83 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:25,039 Speaker 1: old viewfoil projectors, layered over the reality of the unwonted 84 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:28,520 Speaker 1: fame that complicated her world, the same world she tottered 85 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:32,000 Speaker 1: through alternately on four inch heels and in bloody ballerina shoes. 86 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:37,960 Speaker 1: Simpler times. School was out, reality was in, and it 87 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:41,240 Speaker 1: was a mind fuck of the highest order. Celebrity was 88 00:05:41,279 --> 00:05:44,679 Speaker 1: a twenty four to seven invasion. It scared away the muse. 89 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:48,039 Speaker 1: Before success, the Muse was like a desperate barback at 90 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:52,520 Speaker 1: last call, just there, eager and easy. But after success, 91 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:57,239 Speaker 1: the mews became elusive. Every so often, Amy would corner 92 00:05:57,279 --> 00:05:59,720 Speaker 1: the mus and when she did, she'd wrap her tattooed 93 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:02,520 Speaker 1: fingers around his throat, push his chin up in a 94 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:04,400 Speaker 1: way that gave her access to the part of the 95 00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:07,360 Speaker 1: neck below the crux of the jaw, just under the ear. 96 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:10,400 Speaker 1: She'd press her lips to his tight skin, and like 97 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:14,120 Speaker 1: a vampire, let her hot breath penetrate. The moment she 98 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:16,920 Speaker 1: could feel the Muse giving in to her, sliding one 99 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,560 Speaker 1: hand to the small of her back, palming her head 100 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:21,880 Speaker 1: with the other, pressing the tips of his fingers to 101 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:24,640 Speaker 1: massage her scalp gently, while she moved her lips and 102 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:28,440 Speaker 1: tongue about his neck. When the sweat started, she knew 103 00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:31,600 Speaker 1: he was hers. Her heart would swell. She could feel 104 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:37,560 Speaker 1: herself smiling, laughing, swooning inside, feeling that old feeling, inspired, celebratory, 105 00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:39,919 Speaker 1: in need of a drink, And she'd turned to the 106 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:42,080 Speaker 1: bar for a quick pull on her pipe, and then 107 00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:46,680 Speaker 1: back to the mews, and he'd be gone in his place, 108 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:49,080 Speaker 1: the light of a thousand suns flashing and popping in 109 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:52,520 Speaker 1: her face, blinding her, pushing her blood to boil, ratcheting 110 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:55,000 Speaker 1: up her anxiety, backing her into her corner, leaving her 111 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,440 Speaker 1: little room to think, to create, to feel, to love. 112 00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:01,479 Speaker 1: So sighting her songs across the sky was a tactic, 113 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:04,840 Speaker 1: a defense mechanism, a way to block out the paparazzi 114 00:07:04,839 --> 00:07:08,200 Speaker 1: in a way to stay rooted in creativity. Sometimes it worked, 115 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:11,840 Speaker 1: most times it didn't. Today was working, so Amy was happy, 116 00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:14,679 Speaker 1: a wry smiled, turning up the ends of her lips 117 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:18,200 Speaker 1: as she walked on by, and the Camden summer air 118 00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:21,200 Speaker 1: cooled her skin, and the bustle of early evening was 119 00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:23,920 Speaker 1: kicking in time for Amy to head home from the pub. 120 00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:27,960 Speaker 1: Nighttime was not the right time, not for Amy. Too 121 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:32,320 Speaker 1: much temptation, too slippery a slope wasn't always this way, though, 122 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:35,840 Speaker 1: Amy Winos used to own Camden nightlife in her own 123 00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:39,120 Speaker 1: couldn't care less kind of way. Camden nightlife itself was 124 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:41,800 Speaker 1: a different thing then as well. It was the epicenter 125 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:47,119 Speaker 1: of cool. The Northwest London neighborhood, with its markets, record 126 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:49,800 Speaker 1: stores and bookshops, was home to a bar called The 127 00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:53,320 Speaker 1: End that hosted a party on Monday nights called Trash. 128 00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:58,160 Speaker 1: Earl Alkin, the visionary DJ host who launched Trash, revolutionized 129 00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:01,080 Speaker 1: the UK nightclub scene with the honor to find music 130 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:05,160 Speaker 1: he spun and the performers he booked. Trash propelled British 131 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:08,320 Speaker 1: club culture beyond tired britpop. And it's where those two 132 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:11,400 Speaker 1: star crossed lovers, the electric guitar and the big beat, 133 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:15,400 Speaker 1: the slutty electronic big Beat, finally said bucket and jumped 134 00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:18,480 Speaker 1: into sack together. The club's demise is too close in 135 00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:21,280 Speaker 1: the rear view, but in years to come, music nerds 136 00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:23,000 Speaker 1: who write about this sort of thing will come to 137 00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:26,560 Speaker 1: recognize that Trash was as influential as the Matinees at 138 00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:29,840 Speaker 1: CBGB or the Velvet rope line at Studio fifty four. 139 00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:34,520 Speaker 1: In the early two thousands, electronic music was no longer laying, 140 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:39,240 Speaker 1: more precisely, its offshoot, electroclash was the height of cool. 141 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:41,720 Speaker 1: If you were one of those people who thought drum 142 00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:45,120 Speaker 1: machines are pre programmed or triggered, drums had quote unquote 143 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:48,600 Speaker 1: no soul, you were either old, out of touch, or both. 144 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:50,920 Speaker 1: If you were lucky enough to make it past the 145 00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:53,280 Speaker 1: fashion police at the door and into trash on a 146 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:56,280 Speaker 1: Monday night, what you found, writhing on the dance floor 147 00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:59,320 Speaker 1: to the angular guitars and filthy beats of the Raptures, 148 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:02,680 Speaker 1: House of jail Lovers or LCD sound systems Losing My 149 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:06,120 Speaker 1: edge was the sound of the new Millennium, an urgent, 150 00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:09,720 Speaker 1: sexier rock and roll in the embodiment of soul, a 151 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:14,199 Speaker 1: jam dance floor of stone sauced, sweaty, sexy twenty somethings, 152 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:16,640 Speaker 1: some of them were about to write the future of 153 00:09:16,679 --> 00:09:21,280 Speaker 1: pop music. Trash was basically a rehearsal space for the Libertines, 154 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:24,360 Speaker 1: the scruffy London indie band that defined rock and roll 155 00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:28,120 Speaker 1: for a large swath of British teens, acts like the Strokes, 156 00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:31,360 Speaker 1: Kings of Leon, White Stripes, Peaches and Star Making dj 157 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:34,320 Speaker 1: On the Make Mark Ronson, all hung out at Trash, 158 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:39,000 Speaker 1: all artists whose influence is felt widely in today's popular music. 159 00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:42,439 Speaker 1: As I write this the morning after the sixty first 160 00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:46,679 Speaker 1: Annual Grammy Awards, Mark Ronson and Anthony Rosimondo, the touring 161 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:50,040 Speaker 1: guitarist who replaced Pete Doharty and the Libertines, are busy 162 00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:52,600 Speaker 1: sleeping off the high of winning the Grammy Award for 163 00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:54,760 Speaker 1: Best Song for Lady Gaga's Shallow. 164 00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:56,640 Speaker 2: How's That for influence? 165 00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:01,239 Speaker 1: Also in the crowded Trash On the regular Amy Winehouse, 166 00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:03,840 Speaker 1: she could be seen crushed up against the stage of 167 00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:08,640 Speaker 1: early Libertine's performances at Trash and Trash's promiscuous air genre 168 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:11,600 Speaker 1: bending music programming can be heard on her Mark Ronson 169 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:15,520 Speaker 1: co produced second album, and of course, Trash is where 170 00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:21,080 Speaker 1: she met Blake Blake Fielder. Their love was instant, hot, impassioned, 171 00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:23,360 Speaker 1: and like most of what would come to define their 172 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:28,360 Speaker 1: future relationship. Elicit Amy and Blake were both seeing other people, 173 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:31,720 Speaker 1: but significant others could not significantly tamp down their lust 174 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:36,160 Speaker 1: for one another It was all consuming and for Amy inspiring. 175 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:39,840 Speaker 1: Blake was amuse. The love he brought to the party 176 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,719 Speaker 1: was compelling. The drugs he brought to the party were 177 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:48,400 Speaker 1: another story entirely. Coke, speed, pills, heroin, and crack were 178 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:53,280 Speaker 1: all in play, and they played against Amy's inspiration. Her demons, 179 00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:56,720 Speaker 1: always just to touch below the surface, were easily called 180 00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:59,720 Speaker 1: into action to speed her descent into the grimy, addictive 181 00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:05,040 Speaker 1: und that a new boyfriend trafficked did Blake Fielder, mover, shaker, 182 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:08,440 Speaker 1: drama maker, roving gambler with the rambling tongue in the 183 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:13,360 Speaker 1: far away eyes, thief, junkie in the future, Mister Amy Winehouse, 184 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:34,560 Speaker 1: Wu Tang, Clan Shangri, Las Salt and Peppa and Donnie 185 00:11:34,559 --> 00:11:37,920 Speaker 1: Hathaway all ended up on the mix, the mix playing 186 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:41,959 Speaker 1: on repeat in Amy Winehouse's head. These artists and more 187 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:45,680 Speaker 1: singed to Amy Winehouse. Their musical influence on her was 188 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:48,800 Speaker 1: both obvious and subtle, depending on who you were talking about. 189 00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:52,000 Speaker 1: But the one trait they all shared that Amy picked 190 00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:55,280 Speaker 1: up on and never put down was their command of voice. 191 00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:58,320 Speaker 1: Say what you will about Wu Tang, the Changrilas Salt 192 00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:00,760 Speaker 1: and Peppa and Donnie Hathaway. But when they were doing 193 00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:03,800 Speaker 1: their thing, each ascended to the head of their respective packs, 194 00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:06,120 Speaker 1: and it was because of the command of their music, 195 00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:14,520 Speaker 1: specifically over their voices. Amy Winehouse was a top notched vocalist, 196 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:17,800 Speaker 1: sure a jazz singer. As her hero Tony Bennett said 197 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:20,800 Speaker 1: of her, she sang the right way. He was right 198 00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:23,800 Speaker 1: hearing that quote. It's easy to think that he's talking 199 00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:26,720 Speaker 1: about her technique. And when we talk about vocal technique, 200 00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:29,880 Speaker 1: physicality and God given gifts figure heavy into the equation 201 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:34,800 Speaker 1: with the other component emotions just as important, but perhaps 202 00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:37,400 Speaker 1: more crucial, as what the singer chooses to do with 203 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:41,360 Speaker 1: that emotion. Like an actor, Singers make choices, and no 204 00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:45,439 Speaker 1: pop singer in modern history chose more wisely than Amy Winehouse. 205 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:49,560 Speaker 1: She transported herself in order to connect the lyrics she sang, 206 00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:53,560 Speaker 1: whether they were standards sung previously by jazz or motown giants, 207 00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:55,800 Speaker 1: or whether they were written by her. And if they 208 00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:58,199 Speaker 1: were written by her, you can bet they were drawn 209 00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:02,200 Speaker 1: from a place of deep experience, usually pain. She would 210 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:05,080 Speaker 1: thoroughly search for an emotion before committing her voice to 211 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:08,240 Speaker 1: it in song, and the result was a stunning command 212 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:12,160 Speaker 1: over her instrument. Her voice as strong as Jimi Hendrick's 213 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:14,520 Speaker 1: command over his guitar or Keith Moons over his kit, 214 00:13:14,679 --> 00:13:17,880 Speaker 1: or pick your iconic analogy. Amy Winos could match it. 215 00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:21,040 Speaker 1: But to make a great record, it takes more than 216 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:24,120 Speaker 1: just that command and that power and that technique. It 217 00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:27,720 Speaker 1: takes something even more special. It takes a song, a 218 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:30,520 Speaker 1: hit song with a lyric that is hardwired to the 219 00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:33,720 Speaker 1: singer's heart, where the singer is such a reliable narrator, 220 00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:37,480 Speaker 1: and the lyric, despite its simplicity, is compelling because of 221 00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:42,480 Speaker 1: its authenticity. When a lyric has that combination simplicity, authenticity, 222 00:13:42,559 --> 00:13:45,320 Speaker 1: emotion point of view, it has the power to stop 223 00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:48,199 Speaker 1: the world from spinning and make listeners say to themselves, 224 00:13:48,559 --> 00:13:51,640 Speaker 1: oh yeah, du and then sprint to the Internet or 225 00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:54,400 Speaker 1: record stores or wherever people get their music to listen 226 00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:58,719 Speaker 1: to it over and over and over again. And that's 227 00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:01,559 Speaker 1: what Amy Weinhouss Brings Out single did with the lyric. 228 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:06,520 Speaker 1: They tried to make me go to rehab and I said, no, no, no, 229 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:11,280 Speaker 1: of course you did. Look at you, big Ronnie spector beehive, 230 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:15,760 Speaker 1: black mascara for days, tattoos, skinny like a cokespoon, teeth 231 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:18,600 Speaker 1: fucked up in that sexy English way, and no kidding 232 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:20,880 Speaker 1: you said, no, no, no, you have hearts to break, 233 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:23,720 Speaker 1: bars to close, charts to top and more and more 234 00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:25,840 Speaker 1: songs to write for us about that son of a 235 00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:26,960 Speaker 1: bit who messed you up? 236 00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:28,080 Speaker 2: What's his name? 237 00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:30,760 Speaker 1: That dude with the rolled up fred Perry Sleeves who 238 00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:32,920 Speaker 1: constantly looks either hungover or wasted. 239 00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:35,000 Speaker 2: You're muse, you say, Blake? 240 00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:41,720 Speaker 1: Amy Winos had a hit and her new husband, Blake Fielder, 241 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,320 Speaker 1: was very much along for the ride, though the ride 242 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:47,520 Speaker 1: began over a bumpy road. In the beginning, Amy and 243 00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:50,280 Speaker 1: Blake had significant others, and when they seemed to have 244 00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:53,000 Speaker 1: finally committed to each other, Blake bailed and went back 245 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:57,360 Speaker 1: to his girlfriend. Amy was heartbroken, but she was also inspired. 246 00:14:57,920 --> 00:15:00,760 Speaker 1: She opened an emotional vein and order her heart out 247 00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:03,240 Speaker 1: into her lyrics and onto tape. And when her Blake 248 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:07,800 Speaker 1: inspired batch of songs was finally released, Amy's first single, Rehab, 249 00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:11,000 Speaker 1: shot up the charts in both the UK and the States, 250 00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:14,880 Speaker 1: launching her second album, the Mark Ronson co produced Back 251 00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:19,120 Speaker 1: to Black up the charts. Amy took America by storm 252 00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:21,760 Speaker 1: first with the star turning performance on The Late Show 253 00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:25,040 Speaker 1: with David Letterman, where she and her excellent borrowed backing 254 00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:29,360 Speaker 1: band Brooklyn's dap Kings announced her arrival with authority from 255 00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:31,400 Speaker 1: There Radio, or what was left of it at the 256 00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:33,920 Speaker 1: time in two thousand and seven, along with the Internet, 257 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:37,320 Speaker 1: got fully behind the single, and with Amy's arresting punk 258 00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:40,040 Speaker 1: rock by way of girl group good Looks and quick Wit, 259 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:45,040 Speaker 1: the press and the tabloids were immediately intrigued. Suddenly Amy 260 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:48,320 Speaker 1: Winehouse was everywhere, and before it was all said and done, 261 00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:51,200 Speaker 1: Back to Black would win five Grammy Awards and become 262 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:53,720 Speaker 1: the second biggest selling album of all time in the 263 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:59,320 Speaker 1: UK and go on to sello combined twelve million copies worldwide. 264 00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:04,200 Speaker 1: But was success comes stress superstar level stress. Amy Winehouse 265 00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:07,240 Speaker 1: now had a shit ton of responsibilities and all she 266 00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:09,200 Speaker 1: wanted to do was get back to life in campent 267 00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:12,720 Speaker 1: with Blake, drink get high, which with Blake and Toe 268 00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:15,360 Speaker 1: was now a preferred way of passing time, and write 269 00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:19,280 Speaker 1: new songs, but she faced extensive touring performing songs she 270 00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:22,440 Speaker 1: had already gotten tired of performing. The reluctant pop star 271 00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:25,880 Speaker 1: was thrust into the music industry marketing machine and tasked 272 00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:29,960 Speaker 1: with winning over audiences through TV appearances, interviews, and photoshoots. 273 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:33,280 Speaker 1: Worst of all, what came with all that was increased 274 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:36,080 Speaker 1: interest from the tabloid press and the burgeoning age of 275 00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:39,280 Speaker 1: social media. She was under more scrutiny than ever, and 276 00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:44,160 Speaker 1: stress the fuck out about it. Amy was sometimes insecure 277 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:47,080 Speaker 1: about her looks, her weight, and even her talent, and 278 00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:50,880 Speaker 1: when she felt insecure, she got destructive. After fleeing a 279 00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:53,600 Speaker 1: photo shoot in tears because she didn't, as she said, 280 00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:57,040 Speaker 1: feel pretty enough, She managed to find some courage after 281 00:16:57,040 --> 00:16:59,560 Speaker 1: a fortifying bottle or three of champagne. 282 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:00,880 Speaker 2: Drinking through her. 283 00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:03,600 Speaker 1: Work days was the way she coped. Eating was something 284 00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:06,800 Speaker 1: other people did. Her body suffered. She no longer filled 285 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:09,320 Speaker 1: out her form fitting pin up girl dresses, and sometimes 286 00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:12,280 Speaker 1: joked that she used every eating disorder available to her 287 00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:15,440 Speaker 1: as a means of maintaining her figure. As her body 288 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:19,320 Speaker 1: got smaller and eventually frailer, her hair got bigger, her 289 00:17:19,359 --> 00:17:23,400 Speaker 1: makeup more dramatic, she hoped the artifice would create some distance. 290 00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:26,880 Speaker 1: Telegraphed to her fans and detractors alike that what really 291 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:27,920 Speaker 1: mattered was the music. 292 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:30,320 Speaker 2: Success for Amy. 293 00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:35,119 Speaker 1: Winehouse was not what she expected. It was problematic. Amy 294 00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:38,120 Speaker 1: blamed many of her problems on her daddy issues. Mitch 295 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:41,040 Speaker 1: Winehouse had not only left her mother Janice, when Amy 296 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,840 Speaker 1: was nine, he'd also brought around to the house the 297 00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:46,080 Speaker 1: woman he'd been having an affair with for most of 298 00:17:46,119 --> 00:17:49,400 Speaker 1: Amy's young life, beginning when she was just two years old, 299 00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:52,640 Speaker 1: in effect shoving his love life and rejection of them 300 00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:56,920 Speaker 1: into their faces. Amy craved her father's attention. She still 301 00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:59,760 Speaker 1: looked up to him and wanted his approval. But underlying 302 00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:03,520 Speaker 1: that sense of abandonment and rejection were behavioral problems that 303 00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:07,280 Speaker 1: she'd shown since she was a toddler. She suffered from depression, 304 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,399 Speaker 1: it may have been bipolar, and she was put on 305 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:12,800 Speaker 1: a mood stabilizing drug in an attempt to control her symptoms. 306 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:16,480 Speaker 1: Most often, though, she took her anger out on herself. 307 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:20,040 Speaker 1: She began cutting at age nine, just little lines and 308 00:18:20,119 --> 00:18:23,320 Speaker 1: cross hatchet and marks so tiny you could barely see them, 309 00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:25,560 Speaker 1: but they were there, and they gave her a kind 310 00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:28,439 Speaker 1: of release. They gave her a sense of control. However, 311 00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:32,240 Speaker 1: fleeting as an adult, she still cut herself. It was 312 00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:35,159 Speaker 1: something she and Blake had done separately as children, and 313 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:40,320 Speaker 1: now they did it together. Romantic cut cut cuts the 314 00:18:40,359 --> 00:18:43,680 Speaker 1: little blood a little more blood, then the shame and 315 00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:47,320 Speaker 1: the scars. She cut herself to punish herself, to punish Blake. 316 00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:50,280 Speaker 1: At the same time, she began to depend more and 317 00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:52,600 Speaker 1: more on Blake, a man who could barely take care 318 00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:55,920 Speaker 1: of himself, to support her emotionally, to take care of her. 319 00:18:56,560 --> 00:19:00,000 Speaker 1: Blake was her man, her muse, her mess. A hard 320 00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:03,240 Speaker 1: drug user, he brought heroin and crack into the relationship, 321 00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:06,760 Speaker 1: but Amy was in some passive victim. She embraced his 322 00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:12,240 Speaker 1: world of drugs wholeheartedly. When she was using drugs and drinking, 323 00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:15,480 Speaker 1: Amy lacked self control, and then again, why should she 324 00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:18,600 Speaker 1: control herself? She was Amy Winehouse. You never knew which 325 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:20,879 Speaker 1: Amy you were gonna get. She could be funny and 326 00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:24,600 Speaker 1: flamboyant or fucked up in fidgety. At the Q Awards 327 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:26,920 Speaker 1: in two thousand and six, where you two received yet 328 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:30,159 Speaker 1: another award of some kind, Amy was there, sitting in 329 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:33,800 Speaker 1: the audience. She got antsy as Bono droned on. He 330 00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:37,280 Speaker 1: literally would not shut up. Amy wanted to drink, She 331 00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:39,600 Speaker 1: wanted to smoke, and her feet hurt, her hair itched. 332 00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:44,240 Speaker 1: She wanted to leave. Jesus Bono, will you ever fucking 333 00:19:44,359 --> 00:19:47,720 Speaker 1: shut up? She shouted it came out loud in her 334 00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:52,919 Speaker 1: heaviest Cockney accent. Heads turned, people shushed. Bono glared she 335 00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:54,919 Speaker 1: could give a shit about pissing off Bono, and she 336 00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:57,679 Speaker 1: didn't mind making a scene either. She wanted out. Award 337 00:19:57,720 --> 00:20:02,159 Speaker 1: shows weren't her thing, am a girl from Camden. Festivals 338 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:05,399 Speaker 1: were more to her taste. At the Wireless Festival, she 339 00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:08,320 Speaker 1: was in her element. She hit the vip bar. She 340 00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:11,480 Speaker 1: was feeling right in her short yellow halter dress, peep toast, 341 00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:15,240 Speaker 1: the littles, mile high beehive, and signature red lipstick. She 342 00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:18,240 Speaker 1: looked around backstage to see who was worthy of her attention. 343 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:22,080 Speaker 1: As jay Z began his set, Amy noticed the A 344 00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:26,080 Speaker 1: listers who were surrounding her, the magnificent Beyonce, that smug 345 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:29,480 Speaker 1: little snob Gwyneth Paltrow, and the has been twins Kate 346 00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:32,920 Speaker 1: Moss and Madonna. But Amy wasn't interested in any of them. 347 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:36,040 Speaker 1: She at her sights set on an unsuspecting and officially 348 00:20:36,119 --> 00:20:39,679 Speaker 1: single royal Prince Harry or Prince hot Ginge as he 349 00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:42,679 Speaker 1: was dubbed in the tabloids. He was captivating in all 350 00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:45,720 Speaker 1: of his royal glory. Amy watched a vibe to h 351 00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:48,399 Speaker 1: to the izo. He raised his hands to the anthem, 352 00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:51,880 Speaker 1: as did his dozen or so bodyguards, and suddenly they 353 00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:55,359 Speaker 1: were on high alert because Camden's tattooed Rose was rolling 354 00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:58,640 Speaker 1: up on the Prince. The crack addled songstress, the Great 355 00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:01,320 Speaker 1: Amy Winehouse herself was barrowing. 356 00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:01,680 Speaker 2: Right at him. 357 00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:04,879 Speaker 1: Paparazzi swarmed around her as she moved toward where Harry 358 00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:06,399 Speaker 1: sat at the side of the stage. 359 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:08,240 Speaker 2: Oi ariy, she called. 360 00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:10,959 Speaker 1: He'd never met her, and he wasn't exactly planning on 361 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:12,080 Speaker 1: doing that now either. 362 00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:15,400 Speaker 2: What was she doing? My god, she was coming closer. Oh, 363 00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:17,640 Speaker 2: oi Ary, It's me Amy. 364 00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:21,080 Speaker 1: At this point, security rained down on her and promptly 365 00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:25,159 Speaker 1: apprehended her. Prince Harry remained embarrassed but polite as she 366 00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:29,280 Speaker 1: was dragged off by her handlers and then by security. 367 00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:34,679 Speaker 1: Sometimes Amy had things under control. Other times she did not, 368 00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:36,919 Speaker 1: and that was the case. On the night Amy had 369 00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:40,120 Speaker 1: been invited by a friend to a children's production of Cinderella. 370 00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:43,400 Speaker 1: The friend was starring as Prince Charming. By the time 371 00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:46,360 Speaker 1: Amy arrived, she was feeling the fight rise up in her. 372 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:49,199 Speaker 1: She wanted to embarrass her friend just a little. She 373 00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:51,639 Speaker 1: wanted attention, She wanted to be funny to be loved. 374 00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:54,919 Speaker 1: She wanted to disrupt to her. She wanted the glass 375 00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:57,439 Speaker 1: slipper to tat her around him, to break to cut. 376 00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:01,320 Speaker 1: She wanted she needed the prince. He needed to be Cinderella. 377 00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:07,080 Speaker 1: She was Cinderella. Fuck Sindus, She screamed, marry me, Prince 378 00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:11,400 Speaker 1: johnming me. The little kids in the audience were confused, 379 00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:16,080 Speaker 1: the parents shocked, the theater manager beside himself. Amy got 380 00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:17,679 Speaker 1: up out of her seat and was walking up and 381 00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:20,879 Speaker 1: down the aisles, trying to take charge with minimal embarrassment 382 00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:23,840 Speaker 1: with the theater manager approached, A low voice in her 383 00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:24,600 Speaker 1: ear said. 384 00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:27,480 Speaker 2: Please come with me, Miss Winehouse. She pulled away. 385 00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:30,359 Speaker 1: We have a private VIP seating area where you'd be 386 00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:31,159 Speaker 1: more comfortable. 387 00:22:31,359 --> 00:22:34,159 Speaker 2: He continued, politely, the fuck I'm coming with you. 388 00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:37,200 Speaker 1: A couple of security guards intervened to escort her out 389 00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:39,480 Speaker 1: of the building. She said she needed to use the 390 00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:41,840 Speaker 1: bathroom first, but that was just deployed to hit the 391 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:44,560 Speaker 1: bar again. She wabbled toward the bathroom and then made 392 00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:46,720 Speaker 1: a break to a small service bar in the hallway. 393 00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:49,440 Speaker 2: To the tuxedo bartender, she said. 394 00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:52,720 Speaker 1: I want a vodka, Miss Winehouse, wouldn't a glass of 395 00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:56,240 Speaker 1: water be and then that's when she hit him, the bartender, 396 00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:59,239 Speaker 1: an open handed smack right in his face, then a 397 00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:04,639 Speaker 1: closed fist. Then Amy attacked for real, flailing arms and legs, scratching, 398 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:08,800 Speaker 1: kicking the bartender about twice her size, tried restraining Amy, 399 00:23:09,119 --> 00:23:11,880 Speaker 1: and that's when the lubetons connected straight with his balls. 400 00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:15,560 Speaker 1: The full security team managed to get Amy under control. 401 00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:18,720 Speaker 1: Her bodyguard promised she'd report herself to the police in 402 00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:21,320 Speaker 1: the morning. No one had called the cops, but someone 403 00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:23,879 Speaker 1: tipped off the press, and as she left the theater, 404 00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:29,280 Speaker 1: the paparazzi was in full effect. Flash flash flash, an 405 00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:33,520 Speaker 1: endless barrage of intrusive cameras and questions, Amy, what happened? 406 00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:36,520 Speaker 1: When's the next record coming out? Is it ever coming out? 407 00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:40,040 Speaker 2: Amy? Why are you so skinny? What did you smoke tonight? Amy? 408 00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:42,399 Speaker 2: Where is Blake? Is he cheating on you? When are 409 00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:44,399 Speaker 2: you going to rehab? Amy? Amy? 410 00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:48,920 Speaker 1: Amy, Amy, Amy, Amy An She looked up through her tangle, hair, 411 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:52,879 Speaker 1: hid undone, a mess, one shoe in her hand, one lost, 412 00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:56,400 Speaker 1: her bare feet, stepping unsteadily through the cold winter night. 413 00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:59,960 Speaker 1: She had just one question for the theater manager, the cop, 414 00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:04,520 Speaker 1: her husband, her father, her fans, the tabloid sleazy followed 415 00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:08,000 Speaker 1: her one question, just who the fuck do you think 416 00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:08,400 Speaker 1: you are? 417 00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:12,760 Speaker 2: We'll be right back after this, word word word. 418 00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:19,800 Speaker 1: Blake Fielder decided on one more drink, right after he 419 00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:22,720 Speaker 1: decided on one last line of coke, and after that 420 00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:25,600 Speaker 1: he decided that maybe another line was in order, and 421 00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:28,399 Speaker 1: of course, then another drink, and then a line, and 422 00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:30,919 Speaker 1: then a drink, and then a bump, and then more drink, 423 00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:33,719 Speaker 1: then a lick of his index finger and a swipe 424 00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:35,760 Speaker 1: across the top of the bathroom sink for what was 425 00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:38,760 Speaker 1: left of the blow, then a shot to dull the 426 00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:41,600 Speaker 1: realization that he had no more coke. He exited the 427 00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:44,159 Speaker 1: bathroom and bobbed his head manically to the song from 428 00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:47,600 Speaker 1: Pulp blasting through the club speakers at ear shattering volume, 429 00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:50,879 Speaker 1: and then he sucked his gums, pulled out his empty 430 00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:53,240 Speaker 1: bindle from his sticky jean pocket right there in the 431 00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:56,359 Speaker 1: dance floor, and pressed it into his nostrils inhaling hard 432 00:24:56,400 --> 00:25:00,159 Speaker 1: but getting nothing. Back to the bar, another shot, and 433 00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:02,879 Speaker 1: then a failed attempt at calling his guy. Dude was 434 00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:06,520 Speaker 1: nowhere when he needed him, and Jarvis Cocker really needed 435 00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:09,840 Speaker 1: to tone it the fuck down, Blake was annoyed and 436 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:13,040 Speaker 1: coke or no coke that Macbeth was bumping. The bar 437 00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:16,600 Speaker 1: had survived two World Wars and even typhoid, but Blake 438 00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:19,000 Speaker 1: and his drinking buddy were about to give the place 439 00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:21,720 Speaker 1: a run for its money and open a very unsavory 440 00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:25,680 Speaker 1: chapter in their own lives. They were jacked up, shouting 441 00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:28,000 Speaker 1: at no one in particular and banging on their table, 442 00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:31,000 Speaker 1: and most everyone tried ignoring them, but the crowd at 443 00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:34,439 Speaker 1: the upmarket establishment was getting tired of their cocaine fueled 444 00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:37,879 Speaker 1: cooligan bullshit, stoned out of their minds, and pissed that 445 00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:40,160 Speaker 1: there was no more coke. Blake and his friend were, 446 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:43,160 Speaker 1: by all accounts, ready to blow their tops. Live wires, 447 00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:45,719 Speaker 1: hot mics, build out and bound to blow, and they 448 00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:49,400 Speaker 1: were scaring the customers. At last, the bar runner, affable 449 00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:53,280 Speaker 1: and impeccably dressed, stepped up to their table and informed. 450 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:54,800 Speaker 2: Them that it was time to pay up and go home. 451 00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:57,840 Speaker 1: When he escorted Blake and his boy to the door, 452 00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:00,320 Speaker 1: the pair grabbed the bartender and dragged him out side 453 00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:03,040 Speaker 1: by his suit jacket. Blake's boy threw him to the ground. 454 00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:05,399 Speaker 1: He and Blake then viciously kicked the man in the 455 00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:08,240 Speaker 1: head as he curled into a bloody fetal position. One 456 00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:11,000 Speaker 1: kick to the face the sound of cracking bone. The 457 00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:12,640 Speaker 1: bartender's cheekbone busted. 458 00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:13,600 Speaker 2: A kick to his. 459 00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:16,560 Speaker 1: Eye and his eye socket shattered. A brutal kick to 460 00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:18,640 Speaker 1: one side of his jaw and then to the other 461 00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:21,600 Speaker 1: side of his face, and the bartender was barely conscious 462 00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:26,040 Speaker 1: when all was said and done. After multiple surgeries, the 463 00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:29,160 Speaker 1: bartender had to have his face fitted with metal plates 464 00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:32,080 Speaker 1: to make it look like a face again. In His 465 00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:36,200 Speaker 1: destroyed eye socket was reconstructed with titanium mesh was used 466 00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:38,959 Speaker 1: to hold his eye in place. His jaw, once it 467 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:41,520 Speaker 1: was reattached to his skull, was held together with a 468 00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:45,359 Speaker 1: metal bolt. Not ten men down like Roger Moore, just 469 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:47,800 Speaker 1: one man. The two coked up idiots kicked the shit 470 00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:50,800 Speaker 1: out of for no good reason. And there's a name 471 00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:53,720 Speaker 1: for that kind of beating in English criminal law. It's 472 00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:57,280 Speaker 1: called an assault of grievous bodily harm with intent or 473 00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:02,359 Speaker 1: GBH for short. At Brooke Crown Court, Blake Fielder was 474 00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:06,200 Speaker 1: brought before the Honorable Judge David Radforth, who told Blake 475 00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:10,679 Speaker 1: that his behavior was quote gratuitous cowardly and I should 476 00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:15,960 Speaker 1: you not a disgrace unquote, Blake incredibly said, but Judge, 477 00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:18,399 Speaker 1: I were write pissed at the time. The judge, he 478 00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:21,359 Speaker 1: thought Fielder was a pathetic swine, shook his head in disbelieve. 479 00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:24,760 Speaker 1: Blake began to worry about the prospect of serious jail time. 480 00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:29,080 Speaker 1: Within a few months, Blake was falling down and pulling 481 00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:32,560 Speaker 1: Amy along with him every chance he got together. Hand 482 00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:35,960 Speaker 1: in hand. They were aspiraling worse. They were constantly in 483 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:39,600 Speaker 1: the news and tabloids. They were busted for cannabis in Norway, 484 00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:43,440 Speaker 1: and Amy's embarrassing gig at the MTV European Music Awards 485 00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:47,440 Speaker 1: did nothing for her public image. Then, as if all 486 00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:50,440 Speaker 1: of it wasn't bad enough, a video of Amy's smoking 487 00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:54,120 Speaker 1: crack surfaced on the internet as she was devastated, and 488 00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:56,919 Speaker 1: to top that, Blake had tried to avoid jail for 489 00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:59,719 Speaker 1: the beating by offering the victim two hundred thousand pounds 490 00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:02,280 Speaker 1: to I am up. Blake had been found out and 491 00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:04,639 Speaker 1: been made for the bribe. The jig was up and 492 00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:06,600 Speaker 1: there was no way around it. He was heading to 493 00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:10,359 Speaker 1: jail for twenty seven months. So before shipping off to prison, 494 00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:14,040 Speaker 1: he decided it was time to lay low. He and 495 00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:17,520 Speaker 1: Amy holed up in their place in Camden, where they drank, smoked, 496 00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:21,119 Speaker 1: and snorted themselves into daily stoopors. The dull base of 497 00:28:21,119 --> 00:28:26,440 Speaker 1: Wu tang in the streets, bouncing constantly in the background, cocaine, ketamine, ecstasy. 498 00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:30,160 Speaker 1: Amy washed it all down with stella, red wine and vodka. 499 00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:33,359 Speaker 1: She and Blake shut the world out because the world 500 00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:37,680 Speaker 1: was dangerous. People were fucking parasites. They alone would save 501 00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:40,040 Speaker 1: each other. They had to stay together. They were all 502 00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:44,800 Speaker 1: they had. The knock on the door came out of nowhere. 503 00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:48,000 Speaker 1: Amy and Blake were asleep. The knocks then graduated at 504 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:51,120 Speaker 1: full on banging and shouting. Amy and Blake stirred in 505 00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:57,360 Speaker 1: their bed. Bang bang, bang, silence. Police open up, more silence, 506 00:28:57,440 --> 00:29:02,200 Speaker 1: more banging, then one, two, and finally one big bang. 507 00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:05,720 Speaker 1: The door miraculously held its own, and then the crowbars 508 00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:08,200 Speaker 1: came out, a crack and the sound of iron rubbing 509 00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:10,800 Speaker 1: up against concrete. Amy shot out of bed as if 510 00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:14,040 Speaker 1: from a nightmare. Blake her mouth was parched and her 511 00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:18,320 Speaker 1: throat was sore. This is the police open up. Fuck 512 00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:23,600 Speaker 1: Blake bleary eyed, but instantly propelled by adrenaline. Amy's husband 513 00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:26,400 Speaker 1: sprang up from the bed, stumbled over empty bottles and 514 00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:29,880 Speaker 1: overflowing ashtrays, and peered through the curtains. Down in the 515 00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:32,520 Speaker 1: street were dozens of police, a fleet of panda cars, 516 00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:34,680 Speaker 1: and a couple of paddy wagons. The cops at the 517 00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:37,200 Speaker 1: door with their crowbars proceeded to dig in and tug 518 00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:38,080 Speaker 1: at the sides. 519 00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:38,520 Speaker 2: Of the doorframe. 520 00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:42,600 Speaker 1: Amy leaped to the window, panicking, hyperventilating blake. 521 00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:45,880 Speaker 2: He grabbed it by the wrist. We gotta go now. 522 00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:49,320 Speaker 1: He shoved himself into his crumpled jeans, grabbed his hat, phone, 523 00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:49,920 Speaker 1: and smokes. 524 00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:50,840 Speaker 2: He nabbed an. 525 00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:52,720 Speaker 1: Extra t shirt that he would later tie around his 526 00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:55,360 Speaker 1: neck to ease the sting from the long scratch marks 527 00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:59,120 Speaker 1: that angrily scored his flesh from cheeks to chest. Amy 528 00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:01,320 Speaker 1: pulled on a skirt from the floor and stepped into 529 00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:04,640 Speaker 1: her filthy ballet slippers. In tears, she pushed up her 530 00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:07,680 Speaker 1: battered beehive. It toppled over and pulled on her scalp. 531 00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:10,680 Speaker 1: The hair extensions had torn away the hair at her temples, 532 00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:13,720 Speaker 1: where there were now two large, raw looking bald spots. 533 00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:16,600 Speaker 1: Much of her hair was broken, and the towering hive 534 00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:19,280 Speaker 1: now covered what had once been healthy, lustrous locks. 535 00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:22,040 Speaker 2: Her arms and legs were scratched and bruised. 536 00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:24,120 Speaker 1: Her eye liner ran down her face as if she 537 00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:25,880 Speaker 1: had been left out for a week in the rain. 538 00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:29,560 Speaker 2: Boom, boom, boom. 539 00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:32,840 Speaker 1: Determined to penetrate the apartment the police had tossed aside 540 00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:34,840 Speaker 1: the crowbars in favor of a battering ram. 541 00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:36,600 Speaker 2: There was one thing left to do. 542 00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:42,800 Speaker 1: Run dirty, crusty, battle Wounded, hungover and still high, the 543 00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:45,520 Speaker 1: two managed to launch themselves down the back stairs like 544 00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:48,160 Speaker 1: a tweaked up Bonnie and Clyde. They hauled off to 545 00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:50,400 Speaker 1: a rode behind the house and held the cab. 546 00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:53,280 Speaker 2: They were gone. 547 00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:56,160 Speaker 1: The heavy door finally cracked away off its frame and 548 00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:59,480 Speaker 1: fell backward into the house. Boots trampled into the regal 549 00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:02,680 Speaker 1: three store residents. The rooms would have been beautiful if 550 00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:05,840 Speaker 1: you ignored the debauched party scene, the empties and the trash, 551 00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:08,720 Speaker 1: and the smell of vomit. Even the seasoned cops had 552 00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:11,280 Speaker 1: to admit that it was pretty bleak. And while the 553 00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:14,000 Speaker 1: raid was really about the warrant for Blake's arrest for 554 00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:17,440 Speaker 1: the brad, the police had reasonably expected to find drugs, 555 00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:20,640 Speaker 1: but Amy and Blake had finished them off, and they 556 00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:23,680 Speaker 1: poked around through the bottles, boxes and ash trays, the 557 00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:26,320 Speaker 1: piles of clothes and clumps of hair, and the floor 558 00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:28,960 Speaker 1: was sticky, and the tabletops were covered with a variety 559 00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:31,880 Speaker 1: of crack pipes and wads of crumpled tinfoil, but no 560 00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:37,320 Speaker 1: actual drugs. Amy and Blake had made it to North 561 00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:39,800 Speaker 1: London to the apartment of a friend, and they were 562 00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:42,840 Speaker 1: on the run and they had a hide. Meanwhile, their 563 00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:46,040 Speaker 1: paranoia was at full tilt. Had their friends sold them 564 00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:49,440 Speaker 1: out to the paparazzi or worse, called the cops? Was 565 00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:53,400 Speaker 1: the flat bugged? Had the cops already planted evidence? Amy 566 00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:55,960 Speaker 1: had a bad feeling maybe they should move on and 567 00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:58,960 Speaker 1: get out away from their friend's apartment. And was she 568 00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:01,400 Speaker 1: really a friend anyway, or was she just like the 569 00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:02,760 Speaker 1: rest of them not to get her? 570 00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:04,480 Speaker 2: And Blake fuck her? 571 00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:06,800 Speaker 1: Look how she looked at us when we arrived, like 572 00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:10,880 Speaker 1: we're common criminals. Well we're not, we're Amy and Blake. 573 00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:13,120 Speaker 1: And who the fuck are you? And who are you 574 00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:15,640 Speaker 1: on the phone with just then? And who are you calling? 575 00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:19,200 Speaker 1: And then the doors of the apartment broke in with 576 00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:21,840 Speaker 1: no warning. The police were in Amy's friends flat and 577 00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:25,360 Speaker 1: seconds before Amy could react, they grabbed Blake and handcuffed him. 578 00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:30,920 Speaker 1: Amy was beside herself, crying violently and hanging on to Blake, Baby, 579 00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:32,480 Speaker 1: I love you and I'll be fine. 580 00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:35,520 Speaker 2: That sort of thing. She wouldn't be fine, not at all. 581 00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:39,880 Speaker 1: After Blake's arrest, Amy's publicist made a statement saying that 582 00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:43,440 Speaker 1: Amy was recovering from exhaustion and asked that the public 583 00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:46,440 Speaker 1: and the media respect her privacy like that was ever 584 00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:50,800 Speaker 1: going to happen. Recovering from exhaustion, also known as going 585 00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:55,320 Speaker 1: to rehab, was something that Amy badly needed. Her family, friends, 586 00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:58,080 Speaker 1: and record label urged her to enter her facility in 587 00:32:58,200 --> 00:33:02,080 Speaker 1: Essex to come off of the drugs and ooze. Alcohol 588 00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:05,200 Speaker 1: was Amy's true demon, and sea sawing on and off 589 00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:08,160 Speaker 1: it increased the chance that she could die during detox 590 00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:11,920 Speaker 1: or retoks. The booze, rather than what she smoked or snorted, 591 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:15,520 Speaker 1: brought the worst havoc on her tiny body. However, her 592 00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:18,840 Speaker 1: heavy cigarette smoking led to a diagnosis of emphysema in 593 00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:21,520 Speaker 1: two thousand and eight. She was only twenty four years old. 594 00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:25,880 Speaker 1: Alone at rehab, Amy was desperate to see Blake. While 595 00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:29,240 Speaker 1: visits were prohibited, he managed to get to her one time, 596 00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:31,920 Speaker 1: he brought her a tiny package, and later, during one 597 00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:35,160 Speaker 1: of her daily screenings, doctors found heroin in her system. 598 00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:37,920 Speaker 1: Did Blake bring her the drugs out of love or 599 00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:41,880 Speaker 1: something else? He himself was a drug to her, her protector, 600 00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:45,320 Speaker 1: her soother, her muse, so much so that when Blake 601 00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:48,680 Speaker 1: was incarcerated, Amy moved to a different rehab center just 602 00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:51,440 Speaker 1: to be close to him. But in two thousand and eight, 603 00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:54,520 Speaker 1: at the insistence of both sets of their parents, Amy 604 00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:57,840 Speaker 1: and Blake divorced. Blake signed the papers while he was 605 00:33:57,880 --> 00:33:59,880 Speaker 1: still in jail, and Amy had it off to say 606 00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:03,280 Speaker 1: Lucia to quit heroin and quit Blake once. 607 00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:17,040 Speaker 3: And for all. 608 00:34:19,360 --> 00:34:22,880 Speaker 1: The doctor was sterned, cross looking, but with empathy in 609 00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:26,319 Speaker 1: his eyes. There is none of the normal condescension, just 610 00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:31,600 Speaker 1: seriousness and concern. Amy's family listened intently while Amy slept 611 00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:35,080 Speaker 1: off the strain of her latest overdose in the adjacent room. 612 00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:38,680 Speaker 1: The doctor's words were, no surprise, She'll die if she 613 00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:42,240 Speaker 1: has another overdose. Do you understand me? Amy will die 614 00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:45,520 Speaker 1: with the amount of cocaine, crack, heroin and alcohol in 615 00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:48,279 Speaker 1: her system. It's a miracle she's not in a coma. 616 00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:52,440 Speaker 1: You get lucky this time she's a petite girl. The 617 00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:56,040 Speaker 1: message was clear. Amy Winehouse's family needed to make their 618 00:34:56,120 --> 00:34:59,520 Speaker 1: rock star daughter go to rehab and actually rehabilitate, or 619 00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:03,480 Speaker 1: she would be dead before her twenty eighth birthday. No, no, 620 00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:07,439 Speaker 1: no would not be an acceptable answer. So Amy checked 621 00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:10,160 Speaker 1: herself in at the Priory Clinic in London and made 622 00:35:10,160 --> 00:35:13,200 Speaker 1: a go of it. It was May twenty eleven and 623 00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:16,080 Speaker 1: she needed to get ready for her European shows happening 624 00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:19,000 Speaker 1: that summer. But when she checked back out, she found 625 00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:24,000 Speaker 1: herself uninspired. In semi sobriety, living clean was boring, There 626 00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:27,120 Speaker 1: was no inspiration for new music. Playing her hits was 627 00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:31,240 Speaker 1: also boring and utter drag no excitement. But the bills 628 00:35:31,280 --> 00:35:34,560 Speaker 1: needed to be paid rehab a and cheap, so dates 629 00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:38,360 Speaker 1: were booked, including her big comeback show in Belgrade. Amy 630 00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:42,040 Speaker 1: reluctantly agreed. The money was too good, but she dreaded 631 00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:45,920 Speaker 1: the thought of playing the shows now sober and without Blake. 632 00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:49,240 Speaker 1: She couldn't see herself up there prattling on about rehab 633 00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:53,560 Speaker 1: and torched love without alcohol, without her muse. The first 634 00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:57,239 Speaker 1: show was a disaster, with her anxiety through the roof beforehand, 635 00:35:57,440 --> 00:35:59,800 Speaker 1: Amy took to a bottle of wine to calmer nurse. 636 00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:03,720 Speaker 1: She drank it fast, the entire bottle, and then another, 637 00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:06,640 Speaker 1: and by the time she appeared on stage in front 638 00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:10,680 Speaker 1: of two hundred thousand people, she was legless, so drunk 639 00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:14,520 Speaker 1: that she was completely unable to perform. The crowd booed 640 00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:17,680 Speaker 1: Amy off stage. It's difficult to watch the video of 641 00:36:17,719 --> 00:36:20,640 Speaker 1: this performance and to see such a commanding artist completely 642 00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:24,000 Speaker 1: out of control, unable to do anything. Really, she can 643 00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:27,640 Speaker 1: barely stand, never mind sing. She flirts with the backup singers, 644 00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:31,080 Speaker 1: who somehow maintain an air of professionalism and politely chase 645 00:36:31,120 --> 00:36:33,640 Speaker 1: her away from their mics, hoping to drive her to 646 00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:36,120 Speaker 1: her own, to grab it with their spidery fingers and 647 00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:39,760 Speaker 1: unleash that tortured voice into it, the voice that almost 648 00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:42,960 Speaker 1: a quarter million people had turned up to see. But 649 00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:45,920 Speaker 1: instead she just sits down on the drum riser and 650 00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:48,239 Speaker 1: watches the show as if she's not even a part 651 00:36:48,239 --> 00:36:52,160 Speaker 1: of it. Totally defeated, spent, and when news hit of 652 00:36:52,239 --> 00:36:54,440 Speaker 1: the show, or the lack thereof the rest of the 653 00:36:54,440 --> 00:37:02,040 Speaker 1: tour was canceled, Amy headed home back to Kempen. Amy's 654 00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:05,440 Speaker 1: feet hurt. If it wasn't the arches from the tight heels. 655 00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:08,640 Speaker 1: Then it was the soules from her near soulless ballerina shoes. 656 00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:12,200 Speaker 1: She weaved her way through the paparazzi, the glare of 657 00:37:12,239 --> 00:37:14,320 Speaker 1: their flashes, the annoyance of their shouting. 658 00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:16,200 Speaker 2: She tried hard to keep the. 659 00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:19,160 Speaker 1: Song in her sight, but the muse was gone, and 660 00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:23,040 Speaker 1: so was the song. Her heart sunk. She felt that 661 00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:26,440 Speaker 1: pole in her chest and her mouth water slightly. She 662 00:37:26,520 --> 00:37:29,280 Speaker 1: knew there was vodka in the house. She'd drank tonight 663 00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:31,520 Speaker 1: to dull the pain, and tomorrow get back on the wagon. 664 00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:34,080 Speaker 2: But tonight, tonight. 665 00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:36,320 Speaker 1: She'd get fucked up and fuck around with some music, 666 00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:39,000 Speaker 1: try to get something out and onto tape, or at 667 00:37:39,080 --> 00:37:42,280 Speaker 1: least onto paper. She wabbled up the stairs to her place, 668 00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:46,239 Speaker 1: leaving the soul sucking paparazzi behind on the sidewalk vultures. 669 00:37:48,560 --> 00:37:51,320 Speaker 1: She headed to the kitchen, grabbed the vodka, popped the top, 670 00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:54,600 Speaker 1: and began pulling straight from the bottle. Then she hit 671 00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:57,240 Speaker 1: her bedroom. She wanted to play drums, get her blood 672 00:37:57,280 --> 00:38:02,640 Speaker 1: and creative juices flowing, with the alcohol coursing through her 673 00:38:02,719 --> 00:38:06,000 Speaker 1: veins and feeling hot and restless, hitting the sticks on 674 00:38:06,080 --> 00:38:07,840 Speaker 1: the stretched skins would be a release. 675 00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:10,359 Speaker 2: There were things she needed to do. 676 00:38:11,360 --> 00:38:13,440 Speaker 1: Her heart beat like the wings of a bird in 677 00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:16,759 Speaker 1: a cage, trapped, and there were calls and texts she 678 00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:21,240 Speaker 1: needed to return. Her phone was somewhere. When her living 679 00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:24,279 Speaker 1: bodyguard complained about the noise, she traded the sticks for 680 00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:28,719 Speaker 1: jazz brushes. She drank more vodka. There the music was back, 681 00:38:29,080 --> 00:38:32,040 Speaker 1: sort of. She could sense it pulling on her heart. 682 00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:34,720 Speaker 1: There was something she needed to write down. Her guitar 683 00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:37,879 Speaker 1: was somewhere. She moved on to some wine she had 684 00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:41,160 Speaker 1: stashed away. There was a song flowing through her. She 685 00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:44,920 Speaker 1: could feel it now. The rhythm got slower, jazzier, softer. 686 00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:49,640 Speaker 1: The beat was intoxicating. She could feel herself slowing down. 687 00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:52,680 Speaker 1: She could feel her anxiety drifting, the pulse of her 688 00:38:52,719 --> 00:38:55,799 Speaker 1: heart slowing to match the fading rhythm inside of her. 689 00:38:56,840 --> 00:38:57,879 Speaker 2: She let it take her down. 690 00:38:58,040 --> 00:39:00,640 Speaker 1: She stopped playing, but could still hear this long beat, 691 00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:03,719 Speaker 1: or maybe she could just feel it. Finally, she could 692 00:39:03,719 --> 00:39:06,840 Speaker 1: feel something. She was alive, or so she thought. The 693 00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:09,719 Speaker 1: beat slowed down even more. She put her hands to 694 00:39:09,800 --> 00:39:15,640 Speaker 1: her heart. Calmer, now slow, so slow, so slow. She 695 00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:18,120 Speaker 1: slipped down to the floor off of the drumstool to 696 00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:20,440 Speaker 1: her knees, leaning over to her bed to pull the 697 00:39:20,480 --> 00:39:22,880 Speaker 1: down comforter off of it and onto her frail and 698 00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:26,600 Speaker 1: now freezing body in one slow mow fell swoop. The 699 00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:29,839 Speaker 1: beat sounded like it was underwater. Now she could see 700 00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:32,520 Speaker 1: the notes floating around the room, along with the feathers 701 00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:37,279 Speaker 1: from the roughled comforter. They drifted slow, slow, slow, through 702 00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:40,480 Speaker 1: the lamp lay in time with the drowning beat. Ever 703 00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:44,040 Speaker 1: so softly, she let herself fall further and further away 704 00:39:44,120 --> 00:39:53,600 Speaker 1: from the mews, until eventually she was gone. Thousands of 705 00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:57,560 Speaker 1: mourners with flowers, candles, teddy bears, bottles of Southern comfort, 706 00:39:57,600 --> 00:40:00,839 Speaker 1: and packs of smokes, some wearing pin up dresses, some 707 00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:04,279 Speaker 1: in sharp suits, most in tears, stood in front of 708 00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:09,160 Speaker 1: thirty Camden Place to pay their respects. Alone, addicted, and 709 00:40:09,239 --> 00:40:11,600 Speaker 1: perhaps most damning, uninspired. 710 00:40:12,040 --> 00:40:13,279 Speaker 2: Their Amy had left them. 711 00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:18,840 Speaker 1: She also left them her voice, her incredible voice altogether 712 00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:23,439 Speaker 1: too soon, Amy Winos was dead at twenty seven years old, 713 00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:35,160 Speaker 1: which is a disgrace. I'm Jake Brennan in this this Disgraceland. 714 00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:46,920 Speaker 1: Disgraceland was created by Yours Truly and is produced in 715 00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:50,360 Speaker 1: partnership with Double Elvis. Credits for this episode can be 716 00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:53,760 Speaker 1: found on the show notes page at disgracelaandpod dot com. 717 00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:57,200 Speaker 1: If you're listening as a Disgraceland All Access member, thank 718 00:40:57,239 --> 00:40:58,239 Speaker 1: you for supporting the show. 719 00:40:58,320 --> 00:40:59,920 Speaker 2: We really appreciate it. 720 00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:02,239 Speaker 1: If not, you can become a member right now by 721 00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:06,919 Speaker 1: going to disgracelampod dot com slash Membership. Members can listen 722 00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:10,759 Speaker 1: to every episode of disgracelam ad free, Plus you'll get 723 00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:15,600 Speaker 1: one brand new exclusive episode every month, weekly unscripted bonus episodes, 724 00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:19,560 Speaker 1: special audio collections, and early access to merchandise and events. 725 00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:24,520 Speaker 1: Visit disgracelampod dot com slash membership for details, Rate and 726 00:41:24,560 --> 00:41:27,120 Speaker 1: review the show, and follow us on Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, 727 00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:31,080 Speaker 1: and Facebook at disgracelampod and on YouTube at YouTube dot 728 00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:34,960 Speaker 1: com slash at disgracelampod Rock a roller. 729 00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:40,399 Speaker 3: He then, all. 730 00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:42,279 Speaker 1: Right, guys, thanks for checking out this rewind episode on 731 00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:43,120 Speaker 1: Amy Winehaus. 732 00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:43,799 Speaker 2: What did y'all think? 733 00:41:43,880 --> 00:41:46,040 Speaker 1: Six one seven nine oh six six six three eight, 734 00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:47,839 Speaker 1: Let your voice be heard, Give me a call, send 735 00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:50,040 Speaker 1: me a text, let me know your thoughts on this story. 736 00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:52,680 Speaker 1: Get a new episode coming up on slipknot in the 737 00:41:52,680 --> 00:41:56,280 Speaker 1: feed New episode comes up right now, don't go anywhere