1 00:00:02,880 --> 00:00:11,080 Speaker 1: This is t pod. Hey guys, welcome back to this 2 00:00:11,119 --> 00:00:14,159 Speaker 1: week's Teddy Teapod. I felt like it was fitting that 3 00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:18,680 Speaker 1: maybe we get into the discussion of bullying, cyber bullying, 4 00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:21,639 Speaker 1: social media bullying, all those type of things because of 5 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:25,000 Speaker 1: what's been going on in my world this last couple 6 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:28,080 Speaker 1: of weeks. I mean, of course, there has been so 7 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:31,200 Speaker 1: much love and so many great comments, but within those 8 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:34,280 Speaker 1: great comments, there are some things that people say that 9 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:39,319 Speaker 1: are just so brutal, and you know, whether it's they 10 00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:42,880 Speaker 1: wish that I died or wishing harm on my kids, 11 00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:47,080 Speaker 1: I think it really just should remind us all that, 12 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:50,960 Speaker 1: like we don't always know what everybody's going through, and 13 00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:53,440 Speaker 1: in the world of social media, in the world of 14 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:58,240 Speaker 1: so many unknowns, we've got to just take a moment 15 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:00,800 Speaker 1: to like, if we don't know what's but he's going on, 16 00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:03,680 Speaker 1: what's going on in somebody's world, take back a moment 17 00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:07,200 Speaker 1: and say, like, maybe I shouldn't say that, Maybe I 18 00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:11,000 Speaker 1: don't actually wish this stranger dead, Maybe I don't wish 19 00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:14,039 Speaker 1: this karma on their kids. Like around the same time 20 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:17,800 Speaker 1: people are saying karmically, we hope something happens to your children. 21 00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:21,919 Speaker 1: You know, my daughter is getting neurosurgery, or my son's 22 00:01:21,959 --> 00:01:25,399 Speaker 1: broken his thumb or whatever it may be. And I am, like, 23 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:27,759 Speaker 1: you know, trying my heart is not to break down 24 00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:30,600 Speaker 1: and be the strongest parent that I can, but also 25 00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:34,200 Speaker 1: trying to be this balance of being myself on social 26 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:36,800 Speaker 1: media and saying like here, I am sharing the good, 27 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:39,480 Speaker 1: the bad, and the ugly of myself, but like, also, 28 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:43,080 Speaker 1: you're really hurting my feelings and I don't know you, 29 00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:46,399 Speaker 1: And you know, it's been a really like sad week 30 00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:52,600 Speaker 1: with Chad Chadwick Boseman's passing away. And I remember back 31 00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:55,680 Speaker 1: when he was doing Black Panther or there was an 32 00:01:55,720 --> 00:02:00,320 Speaker 1: Instagram photo or something and it was people commenting on 33 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:03,880 Speaker 1: his weight loss, and and the fact that people would 34 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:08,040 Speaker 1: would comment on something they have no idea about. It's 35 00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:11,200 Speaker 1: just heartbringing, especially with what we know now. And I'm 36 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:14,720 Speaker 1: not comparing our situations in any way. I'm only comparing 37 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:20,079 Speaker 1: it to the world of being virtually online and not 38 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:23,680 Speaker 1: knowing all the information. We've got to take a look 39 00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:26,400 Speaker 1: at ourselves. We've got to be able to say, when 40 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:29,200 Speaker 1: I say this to somebody's face, could I live with 41 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:32,040 Speaker 1: myself saying this to somebody's face? And what would I 42 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:36,119 Speaker 1: do if somebody actually said this to my face? Um? 43 00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:38,080 Speaker 1: And so because of that, I'm going to bring on 44 00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:41,120 Speaker 1: a specialist today to talk about how we can protect 45 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:43,440 Speaker 1: our children's from cyber bullying and give us a lot 46 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:46,600 Speaker 1: of useful information. I'm also going to have Rebecca Black on, 47 00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:50,960 Speaker 1: which I'm beyond excited about. She knows this world of 48 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:55,440 Speaker 1: cyber bullying beyond and I'm excited to dig into it. 49 00:02:55,520 --> 00:03:07,200 Speaker 1: And thanks you guys for listening. Are you guys now? 50 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:10,040 Speaker 1: I'm so excited to get on. Josh Oaks, who has 51 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:13,720 Speaker 1: smart Social dot Com. He has a background at Disney 52 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:17,720 Speaker 1: and a love for all things technology. Josh combines both 53 00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:21,959 Speaker 1: to help teens and tweens use social media as a 54 00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:26,440 Speaker 1: portfolio of positive accomplishments. How cool is that Josh travels 55 00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:30,160 Speaker 1: the nation speaking to over thirty thousand students each year 56 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:35,280 Speaker 1: sharing tips to create positive online activity. To me, that 57 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:38,280 Speaker 1: is a game changer because so often we are seeing 58 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:41,680 Speaker 1: negative activity when it comes to our teens and tweens. So, Josh, 59 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:43,520 Speaker 1: just to kind of catch you up to date, you know, 60 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:47,280 Speaker 1: I'm on a you know reality show that the Good, 61 00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:49,120 Speaker 1: the Bad, and the Ugly, and it's one of the 62 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:52,800 Speaker 1: things that comes with the packages. What people say, and 63 00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:54,840 Speaker 1: what I always say is like, listen, I think you 64 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:57,320 Speaker 1: should definitely have your favorites, the ones that you don't 65 00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:59,480 Speaker 1: like as much, whatever it is. But I never want 66 00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:02,920 Speaker 1: anybody you to wish harm on somebody else. And and 67 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:06,040 Speaker 1: something that was recently starting is I started to get 68 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:09,400 Speaker 1: messages not only saying to me, um, you know, I 69 00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:12,400 Speaker 1: hope you die Teddy, more along the lines of like 70 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:16,359 Speaker 1: because of you, karma happened, and that's why your daughter 71 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:20,600 Speaker 1: daughter needed neurosurgery, or you know, I hope something happens 72 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:23,880 Speaker 1: to your kids as payback for what happened on the show. 73 00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:28,039 Speaker 1: And it really started leading me thinking about ways to 74 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:31,000 Speaker 1: protect our kids. You know, yes, I can protect them 75 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:33,120 Speaker 1: through my social media. Most of the time, the people 76 00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:36,440 Speaker 1: messaging need these things don't have any followers. It's like 77 00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:40,440 Speaker 1: a dog as the Instagram photo, and if I block them, 78 00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:43,000 Speaker 1: then somebody with a similar name will start saying the 79 00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:46,000 Speaker 1: same types of things. So, you know, I think it's 80 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:47,560 Speaker 1: people with a lot of time on their hands that 81 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:51,039 Speaker 1: are just kind of unhappy. But I want as my 82 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:53,240 Speaker 1: kids get older, you know, like my kids already are 83 00:04:53,279 --> 00:04:55,360 Speaker 1: like can we can we be on TikTok. Can we 84 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:58,320 Speaker 1: do that? I'm like, no, you know, but what is 85 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:01,080 Speaker 1: the healthy boundary is that you can set as a 86 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:05,279 Speaker 1: family without creating fear, but also creating you know, a 87 00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:09,640 Speaker 1: successful relationship with social media. Yeah, that's a great question. 88 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:12,359 Speaker 1: And so first of all, sorry that people are harsh 89 00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:14,359 Speaker 1: to you online. We have a couple of rules that 90 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:17,960 Speaker 1: I'd love to tell my quick backstory for one second, 91 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:21,080 Speaker 1: how I was bullied if I may, and and how 92 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:24,880 Speaker 1: that might help you, um teddy. Many years ago, I 93 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:28,440 Speaker 1: ran for city council in Hermosa Beach, California, which is 94 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:31,280 Speaker 1: where they filmed the original Baywatch many years ago. And 95 00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:33,479 Speaker 1: it was gorgeous and I was the youngest person on 96 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:35,680 Speaker 1: the ballot. I was running against people who are all 97 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:39,719 Speaker 1: twice my age about and um in in the race. 98 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,640 Speaker 1: In the campaign, I set out to knock on more 99 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:44,760 Speaker 1: doors than anyone else. I was positive. But there were 100 00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:49,760 Speaker 1: two people that blogged negatively about every candidate. And I 101 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:51,479 Speaker 1: reached out to him and said, hey, you're you're being 102 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:54,719 Speaker 1: negative online about every candidate. Can we meet? You don't 103 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:57,240 Speaker 1: have to vote for me, but I think you might 104 00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:59,880 Speaker 1: like me and respect me. Can we sit down the cough. 105 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:02,520 Speaker 1: They wrote back to Teddy and said, no, we don't 106 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:04,400 Speaker 1: want to meet you, but we're going to continue to 107 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:06,680 Speaker 1: blog negatively about you and we don't want to meet you. 108 00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:09,520 Speaker 1: And and there's a couple of things that happened, Teddy. 109 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:12,200 Speaker 1: And this is why I'm one of the forefront people 110 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:13,960 Speaker 1: in this space right now, is because number one, it 111 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,600 Speaker 1: hurts an adult. And if it hurts an adult, that 112 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:19,320 Speaker 1: bad that people won't want to meet you, but they'll 113 00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:21,920 Speaker 1: say terrible things to you as they've done to you 114 00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:25,960 Speaker 1: or about your family or anything else. It hurts. Guess 115 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:28,760 Speaker 1: how much that hurts a child. It's really bad. The 116 00:06:28,839 --> 00:06:31,640 Speaker 1: second thing is it starts to change our Google results. 117 00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:35,640 Speaker 1: As these people were blogging, they would people I would meet. Um. 118 00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:38,679 Speaker 1: I think I knocked on two thousand and fifteen doors 119 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:40,200 Speaker 1: over the course of a couple of months, just like 120 00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:43,719 Speaker 1: do the door knocking, and I ended up. Um. It 121 00:06:43,839 --> 00:06:46,120 Speaker 1: wasn't a partisan race, it was just it is either 122 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:48,200 Speaker 1: right fit for that it was. It was a nonpartisan race. 123 00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:50,920 Speaker 1: So people just genuinely either liked me or didn't and 124 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:54,039 Speaker 1: they always were very kind. But one of the things 125 00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:56,200 Speaker 1: that also did is it changed my Google results because 126 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:58,800 Speaker 1: after you would meet me and see my little thing, 127 00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:01,560 Speaker 1: and I had a whole crew of people helping me. 128 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:04,760 Speaker 1: They would go to Google to search and learn more 129 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:07,120 Speaker 1: about me, and these I didn't want these other people 130 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,840 Speaker 1: coming up in my Google results. So those two important 131 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:13,520 Speaker 1: things in my background. The bullying hurts even adults, as 132 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:17,760 Speaker 1: you know, and it changes our online footprint for future 133 00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:22,000 Speaker 1: opportunities and everything else, which is so important. Now, may 134 00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:25,720 Speaker 1: I give you a couple of ideas. Yes. So one 135 00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:27,720 Speaker 1: of the things that we find most important and that 136 00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:30,160 Speaker 1: I did when I was being bullied, was I had 137 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:33,160 Speaker 1: friends read the comments. I stopped reading the comments for 138 00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:35,680 Speaker 1: a while because I was way too sensitive, I learned, 139 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:39,280 Speaker 1: and it wasn't good for me to keep doing what 140 00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:41,360 Speaker 1: I needed to do. So I had a bunch of 141 00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:43,160 Speaker 1: friends read the comments and then they were to report 142 00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:45,160 Speaker 1: back to me. They were almost my proxy. They'd go, 143 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:47,600 Speaker 1: all right, so this person is just really angry, and 144 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:49,920 Speaker 1: this and this and this and these people are great. 145 00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:52,000 Speaker 1: You should follow up with them. And they made it 146 00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:55,920 Speaker 1: super easy for me. They were my filter and hearing 147 00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:58,440 Speaker 1: it from them the negative stuff didn't hurt me because 148 00:07:58,440 --> 00:08:01,120 Speaker 1: they were my bff. They were one of my friends. 149 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:03,520 Speaker 1: And that's something that I know Joe Rogan does. He goes, 150 00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:05,520 Speaker 1: I don't even read the comments. I have my buddy 151 00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:07,680 Speaker 1: Jamie go in there and read them. Right, whether you 152 00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:09,560 Speaker 1: like Joe or not. I listen to a few of things. 153 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:12,720 Speaker 1: It's pretty interesting. But that's a person that has a message, 154 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:15,080 Speaker 1: that interviewed some of the world's most interesting people and 155 00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:21,280 Speaker 1: decides not to read the comments of the stuff. Um, 156 00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:23,280 Speaker 1: and he's able to keep a clear head. So that's 157 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:26,040 Speaker 1: one idea is to have somebody else read them, report 158 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:29,120 Speaker 1: back only if they're important, or feedback, you know, and 159 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:32,600 Speaker 1: then a couple other things to um, I don't know. 160 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:34,040 Speaker 1: What do you think about that? Do you have somebody 161 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:36,360 Speaker 1: in your life that could do that well? For me? 162 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:39,320 Speaker 1: I think yes, of course. And on show day I 163 00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:42,720 Speaker 1: don't read the comments because I just know, like you know, 164 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:44,560 Speaker 1: I couldn't even keep up with that. You know, there 165 00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:46,840 Speaker 1: is somebody that can monitor and look for me, you know, 166 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:52,160 Speaker 1: if I if I wanted, but I wonder for a child, 167 00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:54,760 Speaker 1: for a kid, what are you going to say to 168 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:57,440 Speaker 1: your parents or your friends, like, Hey, I'm really getting 169 00:08:57,440 --> 00:09:01,240 Speaker 1: bullied online? Can you read my comments for me? That's 170 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:04,240 Speaker 1: where it really strikes home for me. To even have 171 00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:09,360 Speaker 1: to open up and say it's happening concerns me for kids. 172 00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:12,880 Speaker 1: So we have a couple of rules here at our organization, 173 00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:16,679 Speaker 1: at smart Social dot com. The number one safety app 174 00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:19,360 Speaker 1: in the world, the only safety app that's really going 175 00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:22,360 Speaker 1: to protect your kids, is going to be that healthy 176 00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:25,720 Speaker 1: dialogue that you have with your children. And another important 177 00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:29,080 Speaker 1: note is so that means starting that dialogue early and 178 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:32,920 Speaker 1: often about what's happening online, what they see, that they 179 00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:36,160 Speaker 1: can come to you with no judgment whatsoever and tell 180 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:39,320 Speaker 1: you anything. You won't get mad, You'll listen, You'll learn. 181 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:41,719 Speaker 1: You want to be on all the same apps as them, 182 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:44,319 Speaker 1: because they shouldn't be able to go connect with seven 183 00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:47,440 Speaker 1: billion other people on Snapchat or TikTok or anything else 184 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:50,760 Speaker 1: without you being there. But one of the most important 185 00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:53,400 Speaker 1: things is that dialogue that happens first being on every 186 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,600 Speaker 1: one of the apps or kids are on, and then 187 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,840 Speaker 1: next having that open conversation. It is not a one 188 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:01,319 Speaker 1: and done, as we tell parents parents. Instead it's a 189 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:05,720 Speaker 1: rather than um one ninety minute session talking to your 190 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:09,680 Speaker 1: kids about that. It's one minute little discussions. Over the 191 00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:13,559 Speaker 1: course of a year or two years, continually doing that 192 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:15,800 Speaker 1: and that's that's gonna be the hardest part. And the 193 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:18,560 Speaker 1: reason for that is young kids don't have a vocabulary 194 00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:21,000 Speaker 1: about how to deal with this stuff. And if we 195 00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:23,080 Speaker 1: give our kids a phone, and if a lot of parents, 196 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,240 Speaker 1: here's what they tell me, Teddy, they say, oh, when 197 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:27,520 Speaker 1: I'm ready for my kid to get a phone, then 198 00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:29,280 Speaker 1: I'll have that talk the day that I give it 199 00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:33,160 Speaker 1: to them. And unfortunately, that's like saying, hey, when I'm 200 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,240 Speaker 1: ready for you to learn how to drive, I'll hand 201 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:37,440 Speaker 1: you the keys and I'll give you the crash course 202 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:41,439 Speaker 1: in thirty seconds or sixty minutes. How to drive No, no, no. 203 00:10:41,679 --> 00:10:44,760 Speaker 1: Learning how to not have road rage happens a decade 204 00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:47,880 Speaker 1: before you that right, seeing if right, if you if 205 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:51,120 Speaker 1: you have an angry uncle that's always screaming at people, 206 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:54,280 Speaker 1: you will you are more inclined to become like that person. 207 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:57,320 Speaker 1: So what we tell people is way before you think 208 00:10:57,360 --> 00:10:59,800 Speaker 1: you need to have that talk, have that talk. But 209 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,640 Speaker 1: where they get a device, uh talk about if they 210 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:04,800 Speaker 1: see something inappropriate online, they can always come to you 211 00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:08,200 Speaker 1: or a trusted adult. Well I have a question. Um, 212 00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:11,240 Speaker 1: you know, sometimes you'll hear stuff and it's a hoax 213 00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:13,160 Speaker 1: or it's whatever, like I forget what it was, maybe 214 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:15,599 Speaker 1: like a year ago. They were saying that if you 215 00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:17,960 Speaker 1: were watching YouTube kids, all of a sudden this like 216 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:22,680 Speaker 1: ghostly woman characters coming up and get telling your kids 217 00:11:22,679 --> 00:11:28,400 Speaker 1: subliminal messages. Did you hear about this? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, 218 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:31,120 Speaker 1: so but then you wonder, like is that stuff true? 219 00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:33,280 Speaker 1: Then all the kids start talking about it, and like, 220 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:36,440 Speaker 1: none of my kids have any of their own social 221 00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:39,560 Speaker 1: media or tablets or anything that they personally own, but like, 222 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:42,920 Speaker 1: for example, there is like a forty five minute window 223 00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:45,760 Speaker 1: a day where they want to play roadblocks with their 224 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:49,000 Speaker 1: friends where they get on zoom calls and they roadblocks together. 225 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:52,200 Speaker 1: And now what they've started asking, which I know nothing about, 226 00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:56,480 Speaker 1: is Fortnite. And so I was on a call with 227 00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:59,520 Speaker 1: other parents for a school thing and I asked, I said, 228 00:11:59,559 --> 00:12:01,480 Speaker 1: to your kids to play roadblocks, and half of them 229 00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:04,400 Speaker 1: were like, absolutely not. We heard terrible things about roadblocks. 230 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:07,600 Speaker 1: I asked my kids, I'm like, your chats off right 231 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:10,760 Speaker 1: there like yes, And I'm like, so how is roadblocks? 232 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:13,440 Speaker 1: Like are you talking to strangers? Are you doing? And 233 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:15,920 Speaker 1: they're like no, But I, as a parent, I don't 234 00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:18,720 Speaker 1: really know what roadblocks is. I know they love it, 235 00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:21,440 Speaker 1: so how do you protect your kids and that capacity 236 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:24,600 Speaker 1: as well. Yeah, it's such a good question. I'm actually 237 00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:27,520 Speaker 1: pulling up. We have we have some really interesting stuff. 238 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:29,280 Speaker 1: So those of you who are listening right now, what 239 00:12:29,559 --> 00:12:32,160 Speaker 1: is fortnite? Let's step back for just a hot sec. 240 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:35,280 Speaker 1: Any app your kids are on, you've got to be 241 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:38,200 Speaker 1: there before they're atting Teddy. Let's look at an app 242 00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:41,360 Speaker 1: or a website like a park. If I were to 243 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:43,160 Speaker 1: ask you, hey, would you like to take your kids 244 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:45,680 Speaker 1: to Central Park in New York? You'd be like, that's beautiful, 245 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:48,360 Speaker 1: what's the weather like? Okay, awesome, It's a great place. 246 00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:50,920 Speaker 1: But if I had then asked you, hey, would you 247 00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:55,319 Speaker 1: feel comfortable leaving your younger kids alone in Central Park 248 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:58,800 Speaker 1: in New York alone as it's getting dark? You'd probably 249 00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:01,840 Speaker 1: rethink that a little a bit. Nothing against Central Park, 250 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:04,400 Speaker 1: it's just it's a place where lots of other people 251 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:06,520 Speaker 1: can interact with your kids, and if you haven't gone 252 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:08,800 Speaker 1: to that park with your kids the first few times, 253 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:10,760 Speaker 1: they won't know what to do or who not to 254 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:13,400 Speaker 1: talk to, and all kinds of things. Fortnite is the 255 00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:15,920 Speaker 1: same thing. In fact, everything is the same. You've got 256 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,360 Speaker 1: to be there with your kids when they're younger, and 257 00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:25,120 Speaker 1: know how that park looks at daytime, nighttime, who's on there, 258 00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:27,880 Speaker 1: how it works, and what might be dangerous for your kids. 259 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:30,800 Speaker 1: So Fortnite, for all of you listening right now, it's 260 00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:35,120 Speaker 1: a multiplayer shooting game available on console, PC, Android, It 261 00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:37,760 Speaker 1: really everywhere that you could get an app. It's there 262 00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:39,880 Speaker 1: even on the web sort of. As many as a 263 00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:42,880 Speaker 1: hundred players can join in a single round, and players 264 00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:46,760 Speaker 1: fight each other with guns until only one player is 265 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:50,520 Speaker 1: left and the other are critically injured or dead. Now, 266 00:13:50,559 --> 00:13:53,280 Speaker 1: there's been some studies that come out. There's a couple 267 00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:55,599 Speaker 1: of things that are really dangerous. Number one, there's a 268 00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:58,880 Speaker 1: lot of chatting in their teddy um. If you ever think, 269 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,720 Speaker 1: or if any of the listeners right now ever say, oh, 270 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:04,360 Speaker 1: my son is he's right there in the corner. He's fine, 271 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:07,240 Speaker 1: he's safe. He's just got this headset on. He's just 272 00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:09,640 Speaker 1: chatting with his friends. He's not in the corner of 273 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:12,480 Speaker 1: the room. He's a million miles away, chatting with people 274 00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:16,120 Speaker 1: who are using four letter words, chatting with people who 275 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:18,160 Speaker 1: do not love him as much as you do, and 276 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:20,920 Speaker 1: talking with people who might want to move him from 277 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:24,960 Speaker 1: Fortnite over to Snapchat or over to Instagram, or over 278 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:28,800 Speaker 1: to something else where they can chat offline and the 279 00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:31,320 Speaker 1: parents won't know. And so that's one of the biggest 280 00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:34,440 Speaker 1: things is if your kids are wearing a headset, dive in, 281 00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:36,760 Speaker 1: pop in every once in a while, go into your 282 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:41,040 Speaker 1: kids world and come back out and no, let them 283 00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:46,680 Speaker 1: know that the wisdom that mom has extends into Fortnite, 284 00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:50,800 Speaker 1: extends into Minecraft, and that if they see anything that 285 00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:53,040 Speaker 1: they should come and talk to you, and also that 286 00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:55,000 Speaker 1: they should behave on a way that is also just 287 00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:58,560 Speaker 1: like what mom does in real life. Okay, and what 288 00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:02,400 Speaker 1: about Roadblocks? Do you know my about that? Yeah? Roadblocks? 289 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:06,000 Speaker 1: So Roadblocks and Minecraft very similar in that you can 290 00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:08,320 Speaker 1: build stuff, you can chat with people, you can play 291 00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:10,840 Speaker 1: your own games. It's a whole virtual world where you 292 00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:12,960 Speaker 1: can get sucked in and spend a lot of time. 293 00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:18,400 Speaker 1: Number One, predators are everywhere your kids are at. So 294 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:21,440 Speaker 1: if there are not predators that were a hoodie, there 295 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:24,280 Speaker 1: in some weird little tiny chat room that your kids 296 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:28,080 Speaker 1: don't hang out, and predators go to where your children 297 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:31,040 Speaker 1: might be. So they're definitely on Roadblocks and Minecraft. Even 298 00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:33,320 Speaker 1: though those companies contact me all the time saying no, 299 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:36,520 Speaker 1: they're not. We have they are, right, I mean, because 300 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:39,320 Speaker 1: that's where they want to go. Second, there's a lot 301 00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:41,800 Speaker 1: of chat features that are just a hundred percent available 302 00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:43,960 Speaker 1: usually unless you want to turn it off or make 303 00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:46,880 Speaker 1: sure it's a closed room with just your friends, your 304 00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:50,480 Speaker 1: kids friends from the classroom. So that's why it's so 305 00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:53,560 Speaker 1: important to know who your kids are talking to, know 306 00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:56,320 Speaker 1: what room they're in. Pop in while you're cooking dinner 307 00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:58,480 Speaker 1: or whatever, pop back out, give them a little bit 308 00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:00,800 Speaker 1: of freedom, then pop back in again so that there 309 00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:12,960 Speaker 1: you're aware of everything that's going on in that room. 310 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:16,000 Speaker 1: I've noticed a lot, you know, granted we're pretty much 311 00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:18,920 Speaker 1: on on lockdown here still in l A. But like 312 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:22,920 Speaker 1: when I when we are doing things like you know, 313 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,760 Speaker 1: I was talking earlier, how I was sitting you know, 314 00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:28,680 Speaker 1: socially distanced of course, but at a pool and I saw, 315 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:31,480 Speaker 1: you know a couple of things happening. You know, either 316 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:36,440 Speaker 1: kids that were still very very young posing provocatively you 317 00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:40,280 Speaker 1: know for their Instagram, or kids that instead of playing 318 00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:43,960 Speaker 1: with their friends or their siblings or whomever they were with, 319 00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:47,240 Speaker 1: I don't know, they are spending the entire time doing 320 00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:51,560 Speaker 1: TikTok videos like what is the overall what does that 321 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:53,720 Speaker 1: look like? Like? When I was younger, we didn't have 322 00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:55,640 Speaker 1: We didn't have any of that. It was like our 323 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,200 Speaker 1: parents were like, go outside and play, ride your bike. 324 00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:01,200 Speaker 1: Figure it out. If we wanted pictures, we had a 325 00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:05,439 Speaker 1: couple of like maybe those little polaroid cameras, you know that, 326 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:07,439 Speaker 1: Like I have a couple of pictures that we like 327 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,959 Speaker 1: laugh at. Or we'd go to like the place at 328 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:12,359 Speaker 1: the mall where you take pictures with your friends. But 329 00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:16,119 Speaker 1: that was it. There wasn't this type of you know, 330 00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:19,520 Speaker 1: early I don't even know how to explain it, but 331 00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:22,800 Speaker 1: like where you're you don't want to take away somebody's 332 00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:29,280 Speaker 1: like expression, but also like you're you're too young for this. Yeah, okay, 333 00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:33,000 Speaker 1: So tip number one, if if I may um, the 334 00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:34,679 Speaker 1: best way to get if you want to rule your 335 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,880 Speaker 1: kids eyes, the best way to get them to roll 336 00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:40,240 Speaker 1: their eyes is tell them what your childhood was like. Right, 337 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:42,760 Speaker 1: you and I are like, yeah, but at weddings in 338 00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:44,800 Speaker 1: the in the TV show Friends, I was watching Friends 339 00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:47,760 Speaker 1: last night, they said, where's all the disposable cameras? Right? 340 00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:50,160 Speaker 1: Remember at weddings they used to do that, you take pictures. 341 00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:53,120 Speaker 1: We don't do that anymore. We don't need those right, 342 00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:54,960 Speaker 1: But the best way to rule a kid's eyes. We've 343 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:57,760 Speaker 1: learned this from principles at schools as we travel across 344 00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:00,240 Speaker 1: the country or used to is a principle it up 345 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:02,160 Speaker 1: there and go in my day, and then the kids 346 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:06,080 Speaker 1: will go okay, disconnect, but rather instead um, one of 347 00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:08,560 Speaker 1: the most important things is to kind of just learn 348 00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:10,920 Speaker 1: from the students. Now, I'd say the tip number one 349 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:14,280 Speaker 1: is really know the screen time that your kids are using. 350 00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:16,479 Speaker 1: There's a screen time feature built and I teach this 351 00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:19,400 Speaker 1: in my webinars. There's a screen time feature to all 352 00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:22,080 Speaker 1: your listeners that's built into the iPhone. And if you 353 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:24,080 Speaker 1: guys have an iPhone, all you do is you click 354 00:18:24,119 --> 00:18:27,400 Speaker 1: on the settings button in your iPhone and as soon 355 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,879 Speaker 1: as you click on that, you can then scroll down 356 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:33,480 Speaker 1: to the screen time feature. If you don't have that on, parents, 357 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:36,000 Speaker 1: make sure you turn that on so that you can 358 00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:40,320 Speaker 1: monitor your own thing. It's important to monitor how much 359 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,439 Speaker 1: we're using this so that we can adjust that and 360 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:45,000 Speaker 1: make sure it doesn't take from our day. For you 361 00:18:45,119 --> 00:18:47,520 Speaker 1: Android users, you click on your settings and you go 362 00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:50,879 Speaker 1: down to digital well Being and that's just like screen time. 363 00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:54,680 Speaker 1: You can turn it on. Parents, if you haven't tethered 364 00:18:55,119 --> 00:18:59,280 Speaker 1: your kids phone to your phone, that's something to do. 365 00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:01,240 Speaker 1: Don't let your kids to run free. If you have 366 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:03,600 Speaker 1: an Android, parents, make sure your kids have an Android. 367 00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:05,960 Speaker 1: You can do what's called family Link. If you have 368 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:09,160 Speaker 1: an iPhone, get your kids an iPhone and you can 369 00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:12,480 Speaker 1: use the parental controls and tether them. We have a 370 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:14,800 Speaker 1: whole course on that at smart Social dot com in 371 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:18,320 Speaker 1: our program or v i P Very Informed Parent program. 372 00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:21,480 Speaker 1: But by tethering them together, you're gonna be able to 373 00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:23,600 Speaker 1: see how much screen time your kids have When they 374 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:26,320 Speaker 1: should go to bed, the phone starts shutting down, and 375 00:19:26,359 --> 00:19:28,800 Speaker 1: that keep helps them to sleep better because there's no 376 00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:30,959 Speaker 1: blue light going into their mind and all that stuff. 377 00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:34,880 Speaker 1: But really important to just first monitor how much their 378 00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:38,640 Speaker 1: online and then you can, using those screen time features, 379 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:41,560 Speaker 1: turn off a few apps. Okay, you get thirty minutes 380 00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:45,520 Speaker 1: a day of TikTok or fifteen minutes, and it's between 381 00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:48,239 Speaker 1: these hours and it can't be this close to bed. 382 00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:50,160 Speaker 1: There's there's a you can kind of create a little 383 00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:53,240 Speaker 1: plan for your family. And then this is the bad 384 00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:56,400 Speaker 1: guy right the the when everybody all the listeners right now, 385 00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:58,840 Speaker 1: the phone and the timers the bad guy. You set 386 00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:02,359 Speaker 1: those rules. Before you do that, you do need to 387 00:20:02,359 --> 00:20:04,720 Speaker 1: have an important conversation with your kids so that it's 388 00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:08,359 Speaker 1: not just jail time. Instead it's an agreement. And for 389 00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:11,119 Speaker 1: that anybody can go to the web for free and 390 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:14,480 Speaker 1: google social media agreement. You have to come up with 391 00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:17,720 Speaker 1: what is this relationship going to look like between our 392 00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:20,359 Speaker 1: phones and mom and the kids, right, And that way 393 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:22,359 Speaker 1: mom doesn't feel like the bad guy all the time. 394 00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:26,160 Speaker 1: And so a social media agreement is crucial. And then 395 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:30,000 Speaker 1: tethering the phones so that you can figure out what 396 00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:32,439 Speaker 1: healthy amount of time online is. And I know that 397 00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:36,199 Speaker 1: doesn't exactly answer your TikTok, but that's giving us some 398 00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:39,119 Speaker 1: healthy boundaries so it's not taking over your entire life. 399 00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:41,840 Speaker 1: Because every here's the problem. If you went into the 400 00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:45,320 Speaker 1: kitchen and you told your younger kids teddy and you said, hey, kids, 401 00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:48,000 Speaker 1: don't touch that hot stove. What do you think they 402 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,879 Speaker 1: want to do? They're gonna touch it. But if you 403 00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:54,480 Speaker 1: instead said all right, if you said don't get on TikTok, 404 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,840 Speaker 1: they're gonna want TikTok. But if you said, hey, let's 405 00:20:56,840 --> 00:21:00,040 Speaker 1: talk about your future career, your college, your plans. So 406 00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:01,600 Speaker 1: what what do you want to do? Okay, how are 407 00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:04,399 Speaker 1: we gonna get you to shine online? Our company's motto, 408 00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:07,879 Speaker 1: so that you can then someday get there. Great. Now, 409 00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:09,679 Speaker 1: how do we use that device with a purpose instead 410 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,480 Speaker 1: of a pastime? So now, as an example, in the kitchen, 411 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,800 Speaker 1: hey are you hungry tonight? And your kid goes, yeah, great, 412 00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:19,040 Speaker 1: We're gonna make some amazing spaghetti and a salad and everything. 413 00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:21,439 Speaker 1: I'm gonna show you how to use the stove. That 414 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:23,399 Speaker 1: sharp knife over there, I'm gonna show you how to 415 00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:25,120 Speaker 1: use it to cut the tomatoes and all this stuff. 416 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:27,360 Speaker 1: I'm gonna show you all this stuff. We're gonna work 417 00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:30,479 Speaker 1: together because our goal is this, and we're gonna use 418 00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:32,440 Speaker 1: the stuff that you might think is dangerous. I'm gonna 419 00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:34,600 Speaker 1: show you the purpose behind them. And then at a 420 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:37,080 Speaker 1: young age, they're learning, oh this is cool, but you 421 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:39,240 Speaker 1: have to have that shining star. What do you want 422 00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:41,800 Speaker 1: to do? And schools are talking about this less teddy, 423 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,720 Speaker 1: I gotta be honest. Social media is the hotbed because 424 00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:47,520 Speaker 1: kids don't have a purpose in our opinion, and I 425 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:51,040 Speaker 1: have a two hundred and thirty episodes on our podcast, 426 00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:56,439 Speaker 1: The Smart Social Podcast psychologists, counselor's therapist, teachers all agree 427 00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:58,359 Speaker 1: with us. As soon as you start talking about what 428 00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:01,520 Speaker 1: do you want to do with your career call edge internship, 429 00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:05,120 Speaker 1: then kids have a purpose instead of just giving him 430 00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:08,159 Speaker 1: a Ferrari that's a an eight hundred dollar ferrari in 431 00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:11,320 Speaker 1: their pocket. That's an iPhone that becomes a pastime that 432 00:22:11,359 --> 00:22:14,240 Speaker 1: gets him in trouble. Yeah, I mean, I I noticed. 433 00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:17,680 Speaker 1: Even So I have a stepdaughter, she's amazing, and she 434 00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:20,680 Speaker 1: has She got a phone early because she goes back 435 00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:23,600 Speaker 1: and forth between our house and her mom's house, so 436 00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:26,720 Speaker 1: of course, so she can have open communication. Um, she 437 00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:28,800 Speaker 1: ended up getting a new one and she had her 438 00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:33,400 Speaker 1: leftover one, and so my daughter Slate became obsessed with 439 00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:35,560 Speaker 1: wanting to get her phone. Can I have a phone? 440 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:38,960 Speaker 1: Bell has a phone? Phone? The phone? No, you can't 441 00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:42,080 Speaker 1: have the phone. You can't have a phone. So regardless, 442 00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:44,320 Speaker 1: for about two weeks, she asked every single day about 443 00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:47,200 Speaker 1: the phone. I kept telling her, no, she still doesn't 444 00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:49,119 Speaker 1: have the phone. Every couple of days she'll stick her 445 00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:51,920 Speaker 1: foot in again and ask for the phone. I don't 446 00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:54,880 Speaker 1: even know the appropriate age that you give a trial 447 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:57,280 Speaker 1: the phone, because I didn't have a phone. I know 448 00:22:57,400 --> 00:22:59,159 Speaker 1: that we're gonna roll our eyes about like what I 449 00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:01,040 Speaker 1: did as a kid, But like, what do you think 450 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:04,000 Speaker 1: the appropriate age to give in and say, okay, you 451 00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:06,120 Speaker 1: can't have a phone, because in my mind, you don't 452 00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:09,040 Speaker 1: need a phone. Slate one, we're not going anywhere too. 453 00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:11,320 Speaker 1: I give you your tablet time when you're allowed to 454 00:23:11,359 --> 00:23:13,760 Speaker 1: have it at the three? Like who are you calling? 455 00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:18,280 Speaker 1: These are all really good questions. So I've got a 456 00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:20,600 Speaker 1: couple of ideas. So I'm just kind of pulling up 457 00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:23,040 Speaker 1: when should my kid get a phone? That's a really 458 00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:26,560 Speaker 1: good question. Uh. First of all, parents, you decide when 459 00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:30,960 Speaker 1: you're the experts. But our professional recommendation is that zero 460 00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:34,080 Speaker 1: to ten, there's no phone, right, they're borrowing yours, they're 461 00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:37,119 Speaker 1: doing other stuff. I know if parents are separated or divorced, 462 00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:40,240 Speaker 1: that does something weird. I have a solution for you 463 00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:42,840 Speaker 1: if you need it. But then at age ten you're 464 00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:44,960 Speaker 1: gonna think this is young eight to ten. It's a 465 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:48,159 Speaker 1: cell phone safety contract with your kids, because you have 466 00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:50,840 Speaker 1: to say before you get it, this is what's going 467 00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:55,159 Speaker 1: to happen. And also parents, and as you know, teddy um, 468 00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:58,640 Speaker 1: when your kids go over to their friends houses, their 469 00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:02,280 Speaker 1: parents always have an extra zombie phone. It's an extra 470 00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:05,159 Speaker 1: old phone that fires up on WiFi. We call it 471 00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:08,359 Speaker 1: a zombie phone because the heart of a phone usually 472 00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:10,960 Speaker 1: is connecting to a T and T Verizon or T Mobile, 473 00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:14,120 Speaker 1: but it'll fire up on on WiFi and let your 474 00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:17,440 Speaker 1: kid borrow it while they're over there to set up 475 00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:20,719 Speaker 1: a Snapchat and TikTok account. And that's why you have 476 00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:23,640 Speaker 1: to have an agreement with your kids, a dialogue. Your 477 00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:25,920 Speaker 1: kids are doing nothing wrong if they set up a 478 00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:28,800 Speaker 1: new account if you haven't warned them about that yet, 479 00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:31,040 Speaker 1: so it really goes back over to the parents. But 480 00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:33,639 Speaker 1: zero to ten, no phone, if you can avoid it. 481 00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:36,760 Speaker 1: Let the kid be a kid a little bit longer 482 00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:39,520 Speaker 1: ted if you can not understand about the divorce thing. 483 00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:43,880 Speaker 1: But ages ten to thirteen is time for um, some 484 00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,680 Speaker 1: kind of a phone alternative of first phone. And kids 485 00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:48,680 Speaker 1: are gonna hate a flip phone. They're gonna roll their 486 00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:51,159 Speaker 1: eyes and hate you. And that's okay, you are a 487 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:53,280 Speaker 1: normal human being. But it could be something like a 488 00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:57,800 Speaker 1: GAB wireless phone is spelled g A B B wireless um, 489 00:24:57,840 --> 00:24:59,840 Speaker 1: And that is a dummy phone. In fact, I have 490 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:02,480 Speaker 1: one right here. This is a gab wireless phone everybody 491 00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:05,320 Speaker 1: listening right now. Looks just like an iPhone and it 492 00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:08,040 Speaker 1: runs on the Android operating system, but they kind of 493 00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:11,080 Speaker 1: watered it down. It's what's called a first phone. There's 494 00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:13,080 Speaker 1: a new one called pin Wheel that's out here soon 495 00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:18,280 Speaker 1: as well. And this phone only has contacts. It has 496 00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:21,000 Speaker 1: text messaging that doesn't send pictures as of the time 497 00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:24,280 Speaker 1: of this video. It has a camera, and it has 498 00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:26,800 Speaker 1: an FM radio, and it lets you call your parents, 499 00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,720 Speaker 1: text your parents, but and it but it doesn't let 500 00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:32,440 Speaker 1: you text images. So it's a good first phone because 501 00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:36,240 Speaker 1: your kid won't be bold. Yeah, and and Teddy, here's 502 00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:39,680 Speaker 1: why this is huge. Um, So ten to thirteen, maybe 503 00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:42,720 Speaker 1: fourteen years old? Is this first phone right and we'll 504 00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:45,280 Speaker 1: call it a water down smartphone. It gives them all 505 00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:48,400 Speaker 1: the features that they want, but it doesn't allow them 506 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:52,119 Speaker 1: to get download any apps, so there's no social media 507 00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:54,720 Speaker 1: on this phone. The average use time, I'm gonna pull 508 00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:57,120 Speaker 1: this out of nowhere. I'm guessing the average use time 509 00:25:57,200 --> 00:25:59,640 Speaker 1: is about fifteen minutes a day for a kid because 510 00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:01,960 Speaker 1: they want to text and then they go put it down. 511 00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:06,000 Speaker 1: Like me, I've communicated, I'll put it down. Um And 512 00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:10,760 Speaker 1: then age fourteen before fourteen, Please everybody please consider being 513 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:14,159 Speaker 1: very careful before buying your kids a smartphone like an 514 00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:18,480 Speaker 1: iPhone or an Android. You are connecting your kids with 515 00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:21,639 Speaker 1: seven billion other people. So what we would recommend is, 516 00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:23,600 Speaker 1: if you are going to give your kid a smartphone 517 00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:27,639 Speaker 1: at fourteen, go six months to a year without social 518 00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:30,119 Speaker 1: media apps installed. I know your kids are gonna hate me, 519 00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:33,040 Speaker 1: blame it on me, It's okay. And then at age fifteen, 520 00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:35,560 Speaker 1: that's gonna give you the chance to do something where 521 00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:39,080 Speaker 1: it's a smartphone and allowing them now because they're tethered 522 00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:42,360 Speaker 1: to your phone, because now you can control it now, 523 00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:45,760 Speaker 1: allowing to download with your permission, and you log in 524 00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:49,720 Speaker 1: to Snapchat, Instagram or TikTok or something that you approve 525 00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:52,920 Speaker 1: that you also have an account on your their follower 526 00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:56,000 Speaker 1: and you have their pass code and their password, so 527 00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:58,040 Speaker 1: you can get into their phone and into their account 528 00:26:58,119 --> 00:27:02,080 Speaker 1: if something happens. Now I've got to go into the 529 00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:07,800 Speaker 1: world of YouTube. So here's the next thing. My kids 530 00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:11,400 Speaker 1: also have started to ask can we watch these YouTube 531 00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:13,520 Speaker 1: So it's only on YouTube, kids, but like, can we 532 00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:17,119 Speaker 1: watch these YouTube videos? And it's like, I don't know. 533 00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:19,720 Speaker 1: It almost looks like a fifty I'm watching with them 534 00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:22,040 Speaker 1: just kind of see and but it'll be like either 535 00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:24,479 Speaker 1: kids play like when they were into l O L dolls, 536 00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:28,080 Speaker 1: like an adult almost playing with l L dolls, or 537 00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:30,400 Speaker 1: this happening. And I always would just be like, let's 538 00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:34,359 Speaker 1: watch this or let's do that. But what how do 539 00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:38,080 Speaker 1: you really know what's okay in regards to the YouTube. 540 00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:42,680 Speaker 1: So here's what I would do. First. YouTube is a 541 00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:47,320 Speaker 1: mixed bag because anyone can create content, and that content 542 00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:50,439 Speaker 1: is usually designed to get your kids addicted. Remember the 543 00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:54,080 Speaker 1: unboxing things or they just unboxing everything. Remember those eggs 544 00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:57,280 Speaker 1: five years ago. They go, oh, here's a kinder egg 545 00:27:57,440 --> 00:27:59,560 Speaker 1: or whatever it is and pop it open. Kids love 546 00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:04,160 Speaker 1: that YouTube. If YouTube wins and the influencers win, here's 547 00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:06,960 Speaker 1: what they get. They get your your kid's eyeballs for 548 00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:09,600 Speaker 1: a long time, so they can run multiple ads during 549 00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:12,879 Speaker 1: the video. And that's what they want from a business standpoint, 550 00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:15,479 Speaker 1: they want your kid to be hooked. So I've got 551 00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:18,120 Speaker 1: a couple of tips on how to remove that. Number One, 552 00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:21,240 Speaker 1: know what influences your kids are following. Some of them 553 00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:23,840 Speaker 1: might throw inappropriate language in there, and you don't want 554 00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:27,080 Speaker 1: them Subliminally teaching something to your kid that you don't approve. 555 00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:30,200 Speaker 1: So yes, you can watch a Blippy video right. A 556 00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:33,760 Speaker 1: lot of kids are younger kids and nephews. Blippy. He's 557 00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:36,480 Speaker 1: he has suspenders, it's pretty funny. Here's how a dump 558 00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:41,040 Speaker 1: truck works, and it's hilarious. But follow that influencer. As 559 00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:43,480 Speaker 1: long as it's a Blippy video, you can watch it right, 560 00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:47,040 Speaker 1: because other videos will pop up from other people and 561 00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:51,760 Speaker 1: it looks like it's maybe another Marvel character, but that 562 00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:55,720 Speaker 1: person is talking to your kids in a way that's inappropriate. 563 00:28:56,320 --> 00:29:01,880 Speaker 1: Number two, if your student is on their actual phone 564 00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:06,120 Speaker 1: in the actual YouTube app. We have a few techniques. 565 00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:08,680 Speaker 1: I give these away for free in our In our 566 00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:11,239 Speaker 1: next webinar, which is September one, I believe it is, 567 00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:18,040 Speaker 1: we teach the hidden secrets of YouTube, TikTok, Snapchat, Instagram, iPhone, Netflix, 568 00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:22,800 Speaker 1: and an Android. That's six I think there's seven. In YouTube, 569 00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:26,280 Speaker 1: you can actually turn off the auto play feature. You 570 00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:28,920 Speaker 1: can also do this in Netflix. The auto play feature 571 00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:31,280 Speaker 1: is kind of cool. And I tell students this, Hey, 572 00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:34,600 Speaker 1: you are in charge of the next video you watch, 573 00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:38,440 Speaker 1: and I want to make sure that the AutoPlay features off, 574 00:29:38,560 --> 00:29:41,120 Speaker 1: so that way you're not sitting there and and YouTube 575 00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:45,880 Speaker 1: is is deciding your next video. When AutoPlay features off, 576 00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:49,240 Speaker 1: it just plays the video and then your kids can 577 00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:52,960 Speaker 1: have the choice, because right now it's a mind game, Teddy, 578 00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:55,360 Speaker 1: it's a mind game. These smart producers in TV. You 579 00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:57,680 Speaker 1: know how they hook us with their preview on coming 580 00:29:57,760 --> 00:30:00,719 Speaker 1: up or next on the Bachelor. I mean you're you're 581 00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:02,880 Speaker 1: basically going, oh, I have to I have to skip 582 00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:06,680 Speaker 1: through these commercials and stay with it because there's this drama. Well, 583 00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:09,480 Speaker 1: YouTube producers and people are smart, and every app is 584 00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:12,160 Speaker 1: just like a TV producer. They're going coming up next, 585 00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:15,120 Speaker 1: and they get you hooked with a free preview or 586 00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:17,680 Speaker 1: a video or something funny. So what we do is 587 00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:21,520 Speaker 1: we try and turn off that addictive nature of auto play. 588 00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:23,880 Speaker 1: You can do it also on Netflix if you go 589 00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:26,560 Speaker 1: to Netflix dot com. And Netflix is huge, we all 590 00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:30,240 Speaker 1: know that it's in almost every single household. You can parents, 591 00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:35,000 Speaker 1: don't share your password of Netflix password with your kids 592 00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:37,160 Speaker 1: because when you go to Netflix dot Com, not on 593 00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:38,680 Speaker 1: the app. You have to do this. On Netflix dot 594 00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:41,600 Speaker 1: Com you can go in and adjust Little Billies or 595 00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:45,239 Speaker 1: Sally's age requirement of they can only watch things up 596 00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:48,880 Speaker 1: to why seven or why thirty or whatever that their ages. 597 00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:51,720 Speaker 1: You can also un checked two major boxes, and I 598 00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:54,760 Speaker 1: teach all this in our free webinar. Thousands of parents 599 00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:57,880 Speaker 1: have taken this five star reviews and it teaches you 600 00:30:57,920 --> 00:31:01,520 Speaker 1: how to un check these two boxes. One is auto play, 601 00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:04,600 Speaker 1: and it just changes the game. On Netflix, you go whoa, 602 00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:09,080 Speaker 1: because then your kids aren't hooked into scrolling past Ozark 603 00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:11,960 Speaker 1: and it's going look coming up next. It's just all 604 00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:14,600 Speaker 1: this stuff is less enticing. They get to decide what 605 00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:18,240 Speaker 1: they're gonna pick rather than emotionally getting involved in the preview. 606 00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:20,960 Speaker 1: That's a hard thing to teach your kids is the 607 00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:24,400 Speaker 1: preview looks good and you're not allow that's not for you. Well, 608 00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:27,280 Speaker 1: I also want to give any parents that heads up. 609 00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:31,720 Speaker 1: Even if your kids can't write or spell, they can 610 00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:35,040 Speaker 1: still find stuff on YouTube because the other like this 611 00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:37,240 Speaker 1: was a couple of months ago, but my son is 612 00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:40,560 Speaker 1: obsessed with wrestling, loves wrestling, anything to do with wrestling. 613 00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:43,960 Speaker 1: He was having his tablet time, thankfully he was. We 614 00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:47,400 Speaker 1: were together in the same room and I hear him 615 00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:51,320 Speaker 1: talk into the phone the best of John Cena. So 616 00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:55,280 Speaker 1: at first I'm like, okay, that seems fine, he's trying 617 00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:56,920 Speaker 1: to see that he's you know, he wants to see 618 00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:59,440 Speaker 1: a wrestling match. But then I start seeing his face 619 00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:02,880 Speaker 1: and it's like this confused look on his space and 620 00:32:03,320 --> 00:32:06,960 Speaker 1: like what And I'm like, what's happening Cruis? And I 621 00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:10,000 Speaker 1: went over and it was a kissing scene between him 622 00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:14,200 Speaker 1: and whomever his girlfriend was on the reality show he 623 00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:18,720 Speaker 1: was on. So like, even though you think things are 624 00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:20,680 Speaker 1: going okay, are my kids can't type with my kids? 625 00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:23,360 Speaker 1: Can't you know whatever it may be, they're able to 626 00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:27,960 Speaker 1: have acts and that's on YouTube kids. Yeah, um yeah. 627 00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:30,960 Speaker 1: So really the moral of the story is be where 628 00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:34,000 Speaker 1: your kids are at every app they want to download, 629 00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:36,480 Speaker 1: know that it's a new park. Go there first. Would 630 00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:40,200 Speaker 1: I would? I would go there first without your kids 631 00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:42,840 Speaker 1: and download the app and get to know it, because 632 00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:45,880 Speaker 1: that way the pressure isn't on Teddy. You're not saying, well, 633 00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:48,880 Speaker 1: let's look get it together up. I don't like this Snapchat. 634 00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:51,440 Speaker 1: It's inappropriate. By the way, parents, if you give your 635 00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:53,760 Speaker 1: eleven year old Snapchat, there is a part in it 636 00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:57,040 Speaker 1: that you cannot turn off that is designed only for 637 00:32:57,080 --> 00:32:59,920 Speaker 1: college students. It's called the Explore feature. And you're like, oh, 638 00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:02,080 Speaker 1: all just turn off parts of the app. No, no, no, 639 00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:06,080 Speaker 1: that's not how it works. That's that's unfortunately. You get 640 00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:08,080 Speaker 1: all the app or none of the app. You can 641 00:33:08,120 --> 00:33:10,240 Speaker 1: limit the time that kids use it by using that 642 00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:13,000 Speaker 1: tim or feature that we talked about. But there are 643 00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:16,280 Speaker 1: parts of every app that you must know about. We 644 00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:19,000 Speaker 1: have something in our webinar dent Free. We teach you 645 00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:22,760 Speaker 1: how to turn off the map feature in Snapchat. It's 646 00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:26,440 Speaker 1: called snap map. It is a part of Snapchat that 647 00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:29,960 Speaker 1: predators used to check kids. It's the most creepy thing 648 00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:32,200 Speaker 1: you've ever seen. We teach you in four or five 649 00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:35,440 Speaker 1: clicks how to turn it off. Moms are emailing us, going, 650 00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:39,040 Speaker 1: I had no idea people could see where my daughter lived. 651 00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:42,719 Speaker 1: They can not only follow her and be uh there, 652 00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:45,280 Speaker 1: friends are not following. Followers are not friends, but it 653 00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:47,360 Speaker 1: looks like on there all these are all my friends. 654 00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:51,040 Speaker 1: They're not sorry to interrupt you if you even have 655 00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:54,000 Speaker 1: a like. For example, I have Snapchat on my phone. 656 00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:57,200 Speaker 1: I don't use Snapchat, can use it even if you're 657 00:33:57,240 --> 00:34:00,240 Speaker 1: not showing Snapchat. But it's just on your phone. People 658 00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:03,440 Speaker 1: still it can usually track you quite often. Yeah, so 659 00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:05,800 Speaker 1: I'll teach you offline how to turn that off. Parents 660 00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:08,080 Speaker 1: know about snap map, you can go google that or 661 00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:09,680 Speaker 1: you can go to smart social dot com. Take our 662 00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:12,799 Speaker 1: free webinar. It's amazing. We we help people all over 663 00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:16,360 Speaker 1: the world in multiple continents. How there's a there's a 664 00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:19,600 Speaker 1: few hidden features. And as we it's not social media 665 00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:22,239 Speaker 1: is bad, it's how to navigate it. We get in 666 00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:25,120 Speaker 1: kind of a car together and we drive down the 667 00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:26,880 Speaker 1: road and we go look at that, and look at that, 668 00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:29,840 Speaker 1: and we just we make it more comfortable by going 669 00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:33,400 Speaker 1: into the jungle together in a safe vehicle, looking at 670 00:34:33,440 --> 00:34:35,919 Speaker 1: each one of these apps. And and to finish off 671 00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:38,640 Speaker 1: on like a positive note. So our kids are starting 672 00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:42,240 Speaker 1: school next week via zoom. That's you know, no in person. 673 00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:44,560 Speaker 1: What is a good way to kind of get our 674 00:34:44,640 --> 00:34:48,879 Speaker 1: kids excited about you know, the positives of being able 675 00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:52,480 Speaker 1: to interact on Zoom or whatever the program is that 676 00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:54,560 Speaker 1: you're gonna they're gonna be doing their schoolwork on with 677 00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:58,560 Speaker 1: their peers. First, have a little bit of a um 678 00:34:58,719 --> 00:35:02,240 Speaker 1: have your behavioral discussion in with them. Hey, when mommy's 679 00:35:02,239 --> 00:35:04,319 Speaker 1: on the phone in the back or someone or you're 680 00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:06,880 Speaker 1: not talking, feel free to mute yourself. Tell your kids 681 00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:10,239 Speaker 1: mute yourself. It's just gonna keep them a little bit safer. UM, 682 00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:12,640 Speaker 1: let the teacher know if somebody is inappropriate to you, 683 00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:16,640 Speaker 1: have a talk about bullying and zoom it happens. Um, 684 00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:19,880 Speaker 1: when to mute yourself, How to support the teacher and 685 00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:23,120 Speaker 1: help the teacher? How to smile? You have no idea 686 00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:25,640 Speaker 1: on our podcast as we do this, how many kids 687 00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:28,360 Speaker 1: are just sitting there and and they're just like leaning 688 00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:32,000 Speaker 1: back with no posture. Right now is the time to 689 00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:37,399 Speaker 1: practice in person posture, positive smile, trying your best, take 690 00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:39,440 Speaker 1: a break, Let's go outside and go on a walk 691 00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:42,480 Speaker 1: during your things. And I know it's it's crazy right now, 692 00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:45,080 Speaker 1: it's not fun, but we're gonna get through this together. 693 00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:47,520 Speaker 1: But now is the time to treat it like it's 694 00:35:47,719 --> 00:35:50,719 Speaker 1: in class, almost like a little job. Interview your kids 695 00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:53,600 Speaker 1: are how do we use this with a purpose instead 696 00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:57,080 Speaker 1: of just like I have to instead of I get 697 00:35:57,120 --> 00:35:59,640 Speaker 1: to be on Zoom? What could we do and maybe 698 00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:01,799 Speaker 1: listen to your kids? Give them what are the three 699 00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:03,600 Speaker 1: things you want to accomplish today that you want to 700 00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:05,400 Speaker 1: learn me? Do you want to become a Zoom expert? 701 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:09,520 Speaker 1: Do you want to answer five questions? Right? Let your 702 00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:12,200 Speaker 1: kids decide you might get some creativity out of them, 703 00:36:12,239 --> 00:36:14,680 Speaker 1: and you know what, it's good to let them speak up. 704 00:36:14,719 --> 00:36:16,879 Speaker 1: This is a tough time for everybody. Kids don't want 705 00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:19,120 Speaker 1: to stay home all the time. They kind of want 706 00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:22,759 Speaker 1: to go to school. So getting them to set some 707 00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:26,359 Speaker 1: goals and hearing from them usually is a good thing. 708 00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:29,400 Speaker 1: I love that, And I know for sure something that 709 00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:31,839 Speaker 1: they said on our class call that really resonated with 710 00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:36,160 Speaker 1: me was, guys, make sure your kids show up to class, 711 00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:39,400 Speaker 1: even though it's virtual, fully dressed, not in their pajamas, 712 00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:42,320 Speaker 1: had eaten well, like the same way you would actually 713 00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:45,160 Speaker 1: send them to school, because if they just roll out 714 00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:47,239 Speaker 1: of bed and they're just eating a bar while they 715 00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:49,759 Speaker 1: start their first thing, it doesn't set the tone for 716 00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:51,560 Speaker 1: the day. And I think that really makes a lot 717 00:36:51,560 --> 00:36:53,520 Speaker 1: of sense because I know when I wake up and 718 00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:55,680 Speaker 1: I immediately get on a conference call and I'm just 719 00:36:55,719 --> 00:36:58,359 Speaker 1: like going through the motion, it's never as good as 720 00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:00,560 Speaker 1: when I get up by, you know, on a walk, 721 00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:03,680 Speaker 1: have my breakfast, take some time, take a shower, or 722 00:37:03,719 --> 00:37:06,280 Speaker 1: you know, whatever it may be. Whatever your morning machine 723 00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:08,680 Speaker 1: is gonna be with your kids, I think is such 724 00:37:08,719 --> 00:37:10,960 Speaker 1: a game changer. So like set that from the beginning 725 00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:13,319 Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be perfect, and just like you know, 726 00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:15,640 Speaker 1: drop offs at school don't have to be perfect. But 727 00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:18,080 Speaker 1: if we set the tone for the day and we 728 00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:21,160 Speaker 1: set the expectations, our kids aren't going to be shocked 729 00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:26,600 Speaker 1: at the end. Yeah. I am so grateful to speaking 730 00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:29,480 Speaker 1: with you today. Thank you so much for so much 731 00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:32,160 Speaker 1: good information. How do people find you? And I mean 732 00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:34,120 Speaker 1: I'm going to have to listen to some of these 733 00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:36,919 Speaker 1: webinars now, Yeah, so they go to smart social dot com. 734 00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:39,160 Speaker 1: We have an awesome parent webinar that is really going 735 00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:42,480 Speaker 1: to teach you, as I said, Teddy, the hidden secret 736 00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:44,680 Speaker 1: inside of TikTok that they don't want you to know, 737 00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:48,840 Speaker 1: the hidden secret of Snapchat, Instagram, Netflix. We show you 738 00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:51,600 Speaker 1: step by step how to set this up, and we 739 00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:55,200 Speaker 1: give you some iPhone features that are are game changing 740 00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:57,799 Speaker 1: and some Android stuff smart social dot com. We also 741 00:37:57,800 --> 00:38:00,160 Speaker 1: have an educator webinar. Schools are trying to get us 742 00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:02,920 Speaker 1: together and they're doing great. We support our teachers. We 743 00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:06,160 Speaker 1: have seven safety tips on really how to promote safety 744 00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:09,800 Speaker 1: at home and at school on campus during this virtual 745 00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:13,520 Speaker 1: learning thing. So it's all available at smart social dot com. 746 00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:15,919 Speaker 1: Thank you so much. It's so nice talking to today. 747 00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:27,960 Speaker 1: I really appreciate it. I am super pumped to talk 748 00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:32,240 Speaker 1: to Rebecca Black today about cyber bullying, all types of bullying. 749 00:38:32,480 --> 00:38:36,279 Speaker 1: She has gone through so much in her years of 750 00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:41,120 Speaker 1: becoming like a YouTube sensation, huge musical star. Like I'm 751 00:38:41,160 --> 00:38:44,640 Speaker 1: sure you guys all know the song Friday. I listened 752 00:38:44,680 --> 00:38:47,520 Speaker 1: to it five days ago and it's still stuck in 753 00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:51,120 Speaker 1: my head. And I remember feeling the same way back 754 00:38:51,239 --> 00:38:53,200 Speaker 1: when I listened to it the first time. She is 755 00:38:53,239 --> 00:38:55,920 Speaker 1: such a great artist and gone through so much, so 756 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:58,239 Speaker 1: I think I really would love her tools for a 757 00:38:58,400 --> 00:39:01,560 Speaker 1: younger audience on how how to deal with this constant 758 00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:06,120 Speaker 1: bullying that's happening online or even in school. So I'm 759 00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:09,000 Speaker 1: so excited to have you on one. It is the 760 00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:11,319 Speaker 1: second that I found out that you're coming on. I 761 00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:14,080 Speaker 1: really listened to some of your music and now it 762 00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:16,920 Speaker 1: is stuck in all of our my kids and my 763 00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:21,080 Speaker 1: head NonStop. I'm like, what is it about your songs 764 00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:23,440 Speaker 1: that immediately get stuck in your head? One, you have 765 00:39:23,480 --> 00:39:26,600 Speaker 1: a beautiful voice, because I also stalked your Instagram and 766 00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:29,839 Speaker 1: you're just sitting there singing like with your guitar, and 767 00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:32,360 Speaker 1: I was like, this is incredible. But like two, it 768 00:39:32,440 --> 00:39:35,680 Speaker 1: is such a talent to have a song or to 769 00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:38,920 Speaker 1: have to play something, and it really resonates with you. 770 00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:42,200 Speaker 1: And like I am thirty nine years old, and like 771 00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:44,640 Speaker 1: my kids are seven and five and all of us 772 00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:47,080 Speaker 1: like we have to be like stop you, you have 773 00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:50,440 Speaker 1: a problem now. But I would love to like hear 774 00:39:50,520 --> 00:39:53,960 Speaker 1: the history on like how everything went down, and just 775 00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:56,400 Speaker 1: talk to you a little bit about bullying, cyber bullying 776 00:39:56,480 --> 00:40:01,880 Speaker 1: in general and like all this craziness. Yeah, got what 777 00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:05,719 Speaker 1: a crazy I guess almost ten years it's been. Um 778 00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:08,839 Speaker 1: so I got started. I got I had a very 779 00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:14,880 Speaker 1: on a unexpected, kind of unprecedented at the time, start 780 00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:18,879 Speaker 1: into I guess the industry at the time. I guess 781 00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:22,239 Speaker 1: I kind of started into an industry that also barely existed, 782 00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:26,239 Speaker 1: which was, you know, now kind of this massive online 783 00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:29,600 Speaker 1: influencer world where there's YouTubers and people getting their start 784 00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:32,600 Speaker 1: off of I mean you see on TikTok, like seventy 785 00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:35,319 Speaker 1: thousand people going viral on TikTok every day. Back then, 786 00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:38,120 Speaker 1: it just really happened, you know. Back then it was 787 00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:41,880 Speaker 1: like two boys at their grandparents house, like Charlie that 788 00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:44,960 Speaker 1: my finger, like one of the first viral videos or 789 00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:48,040 Speaker 1: I don't know. It was just so random and and 790 00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:51,399 Speaker 1: kind of so much less of what it is now. 791 00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:54,799 Speaker 1: And I was thirteen, and I grew up a kid 792 00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:58,319 Speaker 1: who loved to perform my group, a kid who did 793 00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:02,400 Speaker 1: everything from the musical theater or to like patriotic singing 794 00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:05,760 Speaker 1: groups and just kind of whatever I could do to 795 00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:09,440 Speaker 1: get that part of me out into the world just 796 00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:13,440 Speaker 1: because it was what I loved. And Friday was this 797 00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:16,480 Speaker 1: song that was just kind of meant to be like 798 00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:20,680 Speaker 1: another experiment of that that would exist in like my 799 00:41:20,719 --> 00:41:24,680 Speaker 1: little bubble in Anaheim, and that my grandparents would see 800 00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:27,200 Speaker 1: maybe if it reached that far. And uh, it ended 801 00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:32,319 Speaker 1: up blowing up hugely, massively, way more so than it 802 00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:34,719 Speaker 1: ever should have or that I thought it could have. 803 00:41:35,239 --> 00:41:38,680 Speaker 1: So yeah, it ended me up in to a place 804 00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:42,440 Speaker 1: where I was thirteen and had hundreds of millions of 805 00:41:42,440 --> 00:41:46,040 Speaker 1: people not only kind of coming into my bubble but 806 00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:49,080 Speaker 1: giving me really stark opinions of what they thought about 807 00:41:49,080 --> 00:41:50,440 Speaker 1: me and kind of what I should do for the 808 00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:52,720 Speaker 1: rest of my life. And some of them were positive, 809 00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:55,640 Speaker 1: a lot of them were negative. Uh, And it really 810 00:41:56,440 --> 00:42:01,080 Speaker 1: changed I mean, it changed my life obviously. Uh. And 811 00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:04,040 Speaker 1: it really shaped me, for better and for worse, into 812 00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:08,520 Speaker 1: the person that I am today. So so yeah, I 813 00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:11,480 Speaker 1: mean you even ended up having to be homeschooled, right 814 00:42:11,719 --> 00:42:15,920 Speaker 1: because it was just relentless. It was. It was crazy. 815 00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:20,000 Speaker 1: I mean, it wasn't necessarily solely because of of everything 816 00:42:20,040 --> 00:42:22,000 Speaker 1: going on. There was there was a lot. There was 817 00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:25,440 Speaker 1: a lot happening. I had parents that had no idea 818 00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:27,600 Speaker 1: what they were doing. I don't come from a family 819 00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:31,040 Speaker 1: who was, you know, experienced in in this world at all, 820 00:42:31,120 --> 00:42:34,720 Speaker 1: their veterinarians. So I was just trying to figure out 821 00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:37,120 Speaker 1: what to do. And so I did. I did go 822 00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:41,440 Speaker 1: into homeschooling for a while, and uh, I went back 823 00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:45,160 Speaker 1: into high school later on. And what would you say, 824 00:42:45,280 --> 00:42:47,960 Speaker 1: what advice would you give to parents who maybe have 825 00:42:48,120 --> 00:42:50,480 Speaker 1: kids who are wanting to be in YouTube or wanting 826 00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:53,000 Speaker 1: to start a music career or whatever it may be. 827 00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:55,120 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm worried for my kids to even like 828 00:42:56,120 --> 00:42:58,360 Speaker 1: look at my TikTok, because then they start wanting to 829 00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:00,400 Speaker 1: do it and I'm like, oh my gosh, this is craziness, 830 00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:04,120 Speaker 1: and people comment these terrible things. What advice would you 831 00:43:04,160 --> 00:43:06,480 Speaker 1: give to parents who are in this situation where their 832 00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:09,680 Speaker 1: kids are wanting to, you know, be artistic and put 833 00:43:09,719 --> 00:43:12,520 Speaker 1: themselves out there, but you don't really know how to 834 00:43:12,560 --> 00:43:16,200 Speaker 1: handle I'm not the world's most like you know, well 835 00:43:16,600 --> 00:43:18,959 Speaker 1: versed when it comes through TikTok or YouTube or any 836 00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:22,160 Speaker 1: of those types of things. I know how to do Instagram, 837 00:43:22,239 --> 00:43:25,759 Speaker 1: but like that's it. Yeah, yeah, And that's the thing. 838 00:43:25,840 --> 00:43:30,680 Speaker 1: I mean, the Internet is changing so fast every single 839 00:43:30,840 --> 00:43:34,160 Speaker 1: day that nobody knows what is going on, nobody knows 840 00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:36,000 Speaker 1: what to do with any of this. I still feel 841 00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:38,400 Speaker 1: like when TikTok first came out, I felt like I 842 00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:41,120 Speaker 1: was a grandma trying to figure out something. This is 843 00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:44,520 Speaker 1: what I do. I think one thing that I heard 844 00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:48,239 Speaker 1: my parents, specifically my mom say all the time growing up, 845 00:43:48,600 --> 00:43:50,279 Speaker 1: as she was trying to handle it the best she could, 846 00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:53,959 Speaker 1: It's like there's just no handbook, there's no lessons, there's 847 00:43:53,960 --> 00:43:57,879 Speaker 1: nowhere to go to ask questions. It just kind of 848 00:43:57,880 --> 00:44:01,759 Speaker 1: felt like, you know, making it up as as she went, 849 00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:04,720 Speaker 1: that's all she could really do and and try to 850 00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:07,680 Speaker 1: protect me as best says as she could. And I 851 00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:12,400 Speaker 1: think that I can't imagine how scary it must be 852 00:44:12,520 --> 00:44:15,160 Speaker 1: as a parent. I don't have that experience, you know, 853 00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:16,840 Speaker 1: when your kid is starting to go through it. And 854 00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:18,840 Speaker 1: of course where we live in a time now where 855 00:44:18,880 --> 00:44:24,520 Speaker 1: everybody all so many kids want this like really cool 856 00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:27,640 Speaker 1: idea of being really kind of big in their circle 857 00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:30,560 Speaker 1: or having this online moment, which it can turn out 858 00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:35,040 Speaker 1: to be a positive thing. But I think as a parent, 859 00:44:35,280 --> 00:44:41,200 Speaker 1: the best advice I could give is try to understand 860 00:44:41,320 --> 00:44:43,160 Speaker 1: this world like you are a kid as best as 861 00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:46,200 Speaker 1: you can, because when you know it, it will make 862 00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:49,839 Speaker 1: so much more sense to you. Um, because a kid 863 00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:52,759 Speaker 1: is on here, like on TikTok. I'm on TikTok like 864 00:44:53,440 --> 00:44:56,520 Speaker 1: way more than I should, or or YouTube or like Instagram. 865 00:44:56,520 --> 00:45:01,319 Speaker 1: It all exists and it consumes us. But I just 866 00:45:02,160 --> 00:45:06,319 Speaker 1: I just think that being as kind of with it 867 00:45:06,360 --> 00:45:08,879 Speaker 1: as possible will help you understand it and then help 868 00:45:09,280 --> 00:45:12,120 Speaker 1: your kid, you know, get through it emotionally. That is 869 00:45:12,160 --> 00:45:15,440 Speaker 1: the biggest also thing as well. It's like I understand 870 00:45:15,480 --> 00:45:18,759 Speaker 1: that once somebody kind of gets their start or get 871 00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:21,319 Speaker 1: something really I don't know, something that gets a lot 872 00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:24,040 Speaker 1: of attention, it can be really exciting, um and there's 873 00:45:24,040 --> 00:45:26,880 Speaker 1: a lot of opportunity, But your kid is not an 874 00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:29,640 Speaker 1: opportunity for you. You know, a kid is just trying 875 00:45:29,640 --> 00:45:33,240 Speaker 1: to go through their own thing. And is there something 876 00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:36,759 Speaker 1: now that's still like when they say something to you 877 00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:38,799 Speaker 1: that it's still just like hits home and hurts you. 878 00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:40,920 Speaker 1: Or have you been one of those people that can 879 00:45:40,960 --> 00:45:46,360 Speaker 1: block out the noise or how do you handle it now? Uh, 880 00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:49,879 Speaker 1: it's an up and down. I've definitely come a long way. 881 00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:52,200 Speaker 1: I think where I went wrong for a while was 882 00:45:52,320 --> 00:45:55,080 Speaker 1: trying to convince myself that nothing bothered me. I did 883 00:45:55,120 --> 00:45:57,360 Speaker 1: that for a long time, and what happens is you 884 00:45:57,440 --> 00:46:01,080 Speaker 1: just like build up this huge pile of resentment underneath 885 00:46:01,080 --> 00:46:03,600 Speaker 1: the massive rug that one day you're gonna have to 886 00:46:03,600 --> 00:46:07,840 Speaker 1: pick up that rug and deal with it. Um. I 887 00:46:07,920 --> 00:46:11,600 Speaker 1: just try to be patient with myself and and kind 888 00:46:11,640 --> 00:46:15,440 Speaker 1: of I think when I let myself realize, like, wow, 889 00:46:15,560 --> 00:46:19,440 Speaker 1: anybody who would be getting this many opinions about themselves, 890 00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:22,920 Speaker 1: you know, or this many kind of thoughts into their world, 891 00:46:22,920 --> 00:46:25,920 Speaker 1: this would be hard for any single person. And if 892 00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:29,560 Speaker 1: it wasn't, that would be concerning. I mean, it's incredible. 893 00:46:29,640 --> 00:46:32,840 Speaker 1: I know how I feel, as you know, an adult, 894 00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:35,920 Speaker 1: when it happens to me, or when it happens you 895 00:46:35,920 --> 00:46:38,239 Speaker 1: know somebody says something like you know, carm is gonna 896 00:46:38,239 --> 00:46:40,280 Speaker 1: get you through your kids or whatever it is, whatever 897 00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:43,120 Speaker 1: the like recent attack is going to be. I know 898 00:46:43,239 --> 00:46:45,920 Speaker 1: how I feel. I can't even imagine being thirteen years 899 00:46:45,920 --> 00:46:49,400 Speaker 1: old trying to process that. Yeah, so what what what 900 00:46:49,480 --> 00:46:52,560 Speaker 1: advice would you give to kids who are getting this 901 00:46:52,880 --> 00:46:54,920 Speaker 1: getting this heat, or getting this hate or getting this 902 00:46:55,080 --> 00:46:59,759 Speaker 1: like whatever type of information to kind of deal with it? 903 00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:04,640 Speaker 1: What got you through? It's it's so hard and and 904 00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:08,400 Speaker 1: that is the thing that I guess I would have 905 00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:12,560 Speaker 1: told myself, um, back back when I was going through it, 906 00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:16,560 Speaker 1: because I mean, when you're thirteen, is it's one of 907 00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:19,120 Speaker 1: the worst ages. You know, it's not it can be 908 00:47:19,160 --> 00:47:21,880 Speaker 1: the best, but it just it's really hard. You're so tender, 909 00:47:21,920 --> 00:47:23,759 Speaker 1: and you're getting to that point where you feel like 910 00:47:24,160 --> 00:47:27,000 Speaker 1: you know everything and you should know everything, and everyone 911 00:47:27,040 --> 00:47:29,840 Speaker 1: around you seems to have it figured out and you're all, 912 00:47:29,880 --> 00:47:33,200 Speaker 1: I mean, middle school is just weird. Um. I guess 913 00:47:33,239 --> 00:47:36,840 Speaker 1: I wish I would have been able to just be 914 00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:39,279 Speaker 1: a little bit more forgiving with myself. I think I 915 00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:42,759 Speaker 1: was really really hard on myself for um, feeling like 916 00:47:42,800 --> 00:47:45,600 Speaker 1: I was just constantly messing up and feeling like I 917 00:47:45,640 --> 00:47:48,520 Speaker 1: wasn't doing anything right or the way that I should 918 00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:51,920 Speaker 1: be doing it. And that's the point of being thirteen, Like, 919 00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:54,239 Speaker 1: that's the point of being a teenager or a young 920 00:47:54,360 --> 00:47:57,080 Speaker 1: person or anyone at all. And at any point in 921 00:47:57,120 --> 00:47:59,440 Speaker 1: your life is you're gonna mess up. You're gonna do 922 00:47:59,520 --> 00:48:01,400 Speaker 1: things that you're not going to do or that you 923 00:48:01,440 --> 00:48:04,520 Speaker 1: wouldn't do in your future world. But that is how 924 00:48:04,560 --> 00:48:09,200 Speaker 1: you get to you and it's okay. Just be kind 925 00:48:09,239 --> 00:48:12,240 Speaker 1: and forgiving and also whatever you do, it's a thirteen 926 00:48:12,320 --> 00:48:14,080 Speaker 1: year old in high school at any point in your 927 00:48:14,080 --> 00:48:16,520 Speaker 1: life is just not going to define you as long 928 00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:18,279 Speaker 1: as you don't like it's not a long term I 929 00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:23,080 Speaker 1: mean anything from year to year, just constantly a shifting um. 930 00:48:23,120 --> 00:48:25,360 Speaker 1: And did you ever get to the point where you 931 00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:29,080 Speaker 1: just wouldn't look at comments? Yeah? Yeah, Or I would 932 00:48:29,120 --> 00:48:32,800 Speaker 1: look at comments and feel nothing. And that was probably 933 00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:36,800 Speaker 1: the worst time, because when somebody would say something kind 934 00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:39,439 Speaker 1: or something positive or something that is nice to take 935 00:48:39,480 --> 00:48:42,600 Speaker 1: in because there's a balance with it all, I couldn't 936 00:48:42,600 --> 00:48:46,600 Speaker 1: do it, and so I saw only people that thought 937 00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:48,960 Speaker 1: the worst of me, and I was unable to kind 938 00:48:48,960 --> 00:48:51,280 Speaker 1: of let anything go to come in, which is important 939 00:48:51,280 --> 00:48:54,840 Speaker 1: as well, especially as a young person. I agree, and 940 00:48:54,960 --> 00:48:57,600 Speaker 1: I could see myself doing the same thing now, Like 941 00:48:57,880 --> 00:49:00,440 Speaker 1: I'll get a bunch of nice comments and then something, well, 942 00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:02,719 Speaker 1: somebody will say something to me that I'm like what, 943 00:49:03,280 --> 00:49:05,279 Speaker 1: and I'll comment to the negative and I'm like, what 944 00:49:05,320 --> 00:49:08,319 Speaker 1: are you doing? Like just block that person and keep 945 00:49:08,360 --> 00:49:12,160 Speaker 1: it moving, like I've now taken so much like pride 946 00:49:12,160 --> 00:49:14,920 Speaker 1: and being like block You're done, you know, like this 947 00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:18,239 Speaker 1: is an unnecessary comment. I mean, like why would you 948 00:49:18,280 --> 00:49:22,800 Speaker 1: say this to a stranger? And throughout like your time 949 00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:25,640 Speaker 1: and being in the spotlight and like as you're getting 950 00:49:25,640 --> 00:49:29,160 Speaker 1: older and not older, but as you're no longer thirteen 951 00:49:29,680 --> 00:49:31,640 Speaker 1: and you've met you know, I know you performed with 952 00:49:31,719 --> 00:49:34,239 Speaker 1: Katy Perry once, Like did you ever have any other 953 00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:37,000 Speaker 1: people in the music industry give you any like really 954 00:49:37,040 --> 00:49:45,919 Speaker 1: sound advice on? Yeah, yeah I did. Um. I will 955 00:49:46,040 --> 00:49:50,359 Speaker 1: never forget the conversation I had with actually Katy Perry 956 00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:53,400 Speaker 1: like early on, and I'll always just be so appreciative 957 00:49:53,440 --> 00:49:56,560 Speaker 1: of not only her, but just people like her who 958 00:49:57,200 --> 00:49:59,719 Speaker 1: uh can see a kid for what they are, which 959 00:49:59,760 --> 00:50:01,960 Speaker 1: is just a child who needs a little bit of 960 00:50:02,840 --> 00:50:09,120 Speaker 1: love and uh and she she really emphasize the importance 961 00:50:09,160 --> 00:50:13,240 Speaker 1: of a family and the people who are your home 962 00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:17,040 Speaker 1: and it can be really difficult in I don't even 963 00:50:17,080 --> 00:50:20,160 Speaker 1: think in just the entertainment industry, but in so many 964 00:50:20,840 --> 00:50:23,520 Speaker 1: aspects of our world nowadays to let something come in 965 00:50:23,600 --> 00:50:27,880 Speaker 1: between that, UM, and especially as as as a kid 966 00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:30,279 Speaker 1: and as someone young who's trying to figure it out, 967 00:50:30,320 --> 00:50:33,359 Speaker 1: if you can hold close to that relationship with your 968 00:50:33,400 --> 00:50:37,520 Speaker 1: family and UM, I guess kind of not forget about 969 00:50:37,560 --> 00:50:41,800 Speaker 1: that aspect of yourself outside of whatever else is happening. UM, 970 00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:45,960 Speaker 1: that can be really important and really helpful. So yeah, 971 00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:49,000 Speaker 1: when it first started happening to you, did you immediately 972 00:50:49,040 --> 00:50:51,680 Speaker 1: like have that conversation with your parents or did you 973 00:50:51,760 --> 00:50:54,680 Speaker 1: feel like nervous to have the conversation. I'm trying to 974 00:50:54,840 --> 00:50:58,600 Speaker 1: get to a place of being thirteen and saying like, wow, 975 00:50:58,600 --> 00:51:00,640 Speaker 1: would I have had that? I know, like if I 976 00:51:00,680 --> 00:51:02,840 Speaker 1: got in a fight with somebody like in school, or 977 00:51:02,840 --> 00:51:04,719 Speaker 1: an argument or somebody said something to me, I don't 978 00:51:04,719 --> 00:51:07,640 Speaker 1: know that I necessarily would have told my parents. So 979 00:51:07,680 --> 00:51:09,920 Speaker 1: I'm curious how it works in the world of social 980 00:51:09,960 --> 00:51:13,200 Speaker 1: media when it happens. Oh god, I know, I mean 981 00:51:13,680 --> 00:51:18,279 Speaker 1: looking at today and what kids are kind of now 982 00:51:18,320 --> 00:51:20,960 Speaker 1: dealing with, where not only do you see someone go viral, 983 00:51:21,080 --> 00:51:23,120 Speaker 1: you see a kid go viral and then immediately they 984 00:51:23,160 --> 00:51:25,359 Speaker 1: have a record label and they have this going on 985 00:51:25,360 --> 00:51:26,960 Speaker 1: and this going on, and it's like, how did this 986 00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:30,760 Speaker 1: just turn into a booming industry within a week? UM, 987 00:51:30,800 --> 00:51:35,800 Speaker 1: That I can't even imagine. But I think, uh, in 988 00:51:36,160 --> 00:51:41,160 Speaker 1: my case, I'm lucky to have had parents who, uh, 989 00:51:41,480 --> 00:51:44,799 Speaker 1: not only who I had a really close relationship with, 990 00:51:44,960 --> 00:51:48,560 Speaker 1: specifically with my mom, who again wanted to protect me, 991 00:51:48,719 --> 00:51:52,719 Speaker 1: like as her kid before anything else. UM. And that 992 00:51:52,960 --> 00:51:58,400 Speaker 1: was really helpful and and I think um just helped 993 00:51:58,440 --> 00:52:02,279 Speaker 1: me experience my age years a bit as as I 994 00:52:02,280 --> 00:52:06,359 Speaker 1: should and and and hopefully would have still UM. But 995 00:52:06,440 --> 00:52:10,760 Speaker 1: I think the most important conversations were acknowledging the mistakes 996 00:52:10,760 --> 00:52:13,560 Speaker 1: that there were because we were all trying our best, 997 00:52:13,640 --> 00:52:17,200 Speaker 1: and parents I know everywhere are always, you know, hopefully 998 00:52:17,239 --> 00:52:19,040 Speaker 1: trying their best to do the right thing, and sometimes 999 00:52:19,080 --> 00:52:21,080 Speaker 1: it it doesn't turn out the way that you wanted to. 1000 00:52:21,320 --> 00:52:23,760 Speaker 1: I think my parents probably felt a lot of guilt 1001 00:52:23,840 --> 00:52:26,120 Speaker 1: as well for kind of feeling maybe a little bit 1002 00:52:26,160 --> 00:52:29,360 Speaker 1: responsible for letting me kind of out to the wolves. 1003 00:52:29,960 --> 00:52:32,440 Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, when I decided 1004 00:52:32,480 --> 00:52:34,319 Speaker 1: that this was something I wanted to do long term 1005 00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:38,399 Speaker 1: and was a passion of mine. Um. They also knew 1006 00:52:38,440 --> 00:52:40,279 Speaker 1: how to kind of let me go and do it, 1007 00:52:40,520 --> 00:52:43,799 Speaker 1: um without overprotecting me, If that makes sense. Figure it 1008 00:52:43,800 --> 00:52:46,799 Speaker 1: out a little bit. Oh yeah, is there anything you 1009 00:52:46,800 --> 00:52:52,400 Speaker 1: would have done differently now knowing what can be? Then? Oh? God, Um, 1010 00:52:52,440 --> 00:52:57,279 Speaker 1: a lot of things I wouldn't have worn. But no, 1011 00:52:57,440 --> 00:53:00,040 Speaker 1: I mean I think I just would have been and 1012 00:53:00,239 --> 00:53:03,919 Speaker 1: kinder to myself and more forgiving to myself. And then 1013 00:53:04,520 --> 00:53:07,320 Speaker 1: we've talked a lot about like the negative of social 1014 00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:09,680 Speaker 1: media and of bullying and all these types of things. 1015 00:53:10,320 --> 00:53:12,719 Speaker 1: What would you say is like the most positive? I 1016 00:53:12,719 --> 00:53:15,600 Speaker 1: mean you the fact that you could wake up an 1017 00:53:15,640 --> 00:53:19,000 Speaker 1: overnight have like to I mean, what was it like 1018 00:53:19,040 --> 00:53:21,239 Speaker 1: two d thousand views in one night or something like? 1019 00:53:21,480 --> 00:53:24,839 Speaker 1: It's incredible and shows testament to like how talented you are. 1020 00:53:26,200 --> 00:53:28,960 Speaker 1: What do you think all the positives of social media are? 1021 00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:33,000 Speaker 1: And like how can people use it in a positive way? Yeah? 1022 00:53:33,120 --> 00:53:35,319 Speaker 1: I think there are a lot of positives to it, 1023 00:53:35,360 --> 00:53:39,360 Speaker 1: and especially seeing the way that the Internet has changed 1024 00:53:39,440 --> 00:53:42,319 Speaker 1: from the time where I kind of first started in 1025 00:53:42,360 --> 00:53:48,440 Speaker 1: two now there's been so many good outcomes. Um, I 1026 00:53:48,480 --> 00:53:52,600 Speaker 1: think as a younger generation, obviously you see so many 1027 00:53:52,640 --> 00:53:55,400 Speaker 1: more people now so aware of what's going on in 1028 00:53:55,440 --> 00:53:57,600 Speaker 1: the world, and so aware of what's happening to each 1029 00:53:57,600 --> 00:54:00,040 Speaker 1: other and how we're treating each other, and kind of 1030 00:54:00,080 --> 00:54:03,200 Speaker 1: the things that we've accepted as as always being the 1031 00:54:03,239 --> 00:54:06,080 Speaker 1: way that they were now being changed for something better. 1032 00:54:06,360 --> 00:54:09,920 Speaker 1: I think that's really cool and what I what I 1033 00:54:09,960 --> 00:54:14,279 Speaker 1: try to do now more than anything, is add to 1034 00:54:14,400 --> 00:54:19,360 Speaker 1: that kind of I feel like online we're seeing the 1035 00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:23,040 Speaker 1: potential of a community that's building in in a positive 1036 00:54:23,040 --> 00:54:26,920 Speaker 1: way for good and for the betterment of other people. Obviously, 1037 00:54:26,960 --> 00:54:29,319 Speaker 1: everybody knows about cancel culture and how it can kind 1038 00:54:29,320 --> 00:54:32,680 Speaker 1: of go a little too far, um, But I think 1039 00:54:32,719 --> 00:54:39,399 Speaker 1: that it's there's something hopeful in this kind of well 1040 00:54:39,400 --> 00:54:42,120 Speaker 1: intended thinking, rather than the Internet just becoming this like 1041 00:54:42,440 --> 00:54:46,880 Speaker 1: very dark rabbit hole of just people being awful to 1042 00:54:46,920 --> 00:54:48,799 Speaker 1: each other. There's still a lot of work to be done, 1043 00:54:48,880 --> 00:54:52,279 Speaker 1: and people are still awful, and people are still kind 1044 00:54:52,320 --> 00:54:57,080 Speaker 1: of using the anonymity of it all to get out 1045 00:54:57,360 --> 00:55:00,440 Speaker 1: there whatever they have going on in their lives. Um. 1046 00:55:00,440 --> 00:55:03,520 Speaker 1: But I do like seeing more and more everyday young 1047 00:55:03,640 --> 00:55:07,000 Speaker 1: people kind of getting involved on what will hopefully become 1048 00:55:07,040 --> 00:55:09,799 Speaker 1: the right side of history. Um, whether it be in 1049 00:55:09,800 --> 00:55:13,000 Speaker 1: a larger way or in just their own communities, and 1050 00:55:13,080 --> 00:55:15,799 Speaker 1: do you feel like you talk about it with your 1051 00:55:15,880 --> 00:55:18,399 Speaker 1: following now, Like are you like are you an open 1052 00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:20,320 Speaker 1: book about it, or like this bothers me or this 1053 00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:22,200 Speaker 1: sorts my feelings or any of those things are do 1054 00:55:22,200 --> 00:55:24,239 Speaker 1: you kind of just like keep it, you know, keep 1055 00:55:24,280 --> 00:55:26,879 Speaker 1: it close to the heart and kind of have your 1056 00:55:26,960 --> 00:55:31,480 Speaker 1: outside showing and your inside. I try to. I try 1057 00:55:31,480 --> 00:55:36,320 Speaker 1: to have a balance. I see people who are open 1058 00:55:36,600 --> 00:55:39,279 Speaker 1: with every single thing happening in the moment, and that's 1059 00:55:39,320 --> 00:55:42,319 Speaker 1: what works for them. Um. But what I what I've 1060 00:55:42,360 --> 00:55:46,200 Speaker 1: found works for me and for my audience is I 1061 00:55:46,280 --> 00:55:49,520 Speaker 1: try to observe what's going on in my own world 1062 00:55:49,960 --> 00:55:53,200 Speaker 1: and learn from it, and then once it's happened, share 1063 00:55:53,280 --> 00:55:56,480 Speaker 1: what I've learned, rather than just kind of living it 1064 00:55:56,520 --> 00:56:00,480 Speaker 1: all out online. I guess if that makes sense. UM. 1065 00:56:00,600 --> 00:56:03,239 Speaker 1: For example, like coming to terms of my own sexuality 1066 00:56:03,360 --> 00:56:05,600 Speaker 1: was something that I knew I wanted to talk about 1067 00:56:05,640 --> 00:56:08,880 Speaker 1: the second I identified it, but I waited until I 1068 00:56:08,880 --> 00:56:12,160 Speaker 1: had really gone through so many conversations with myself and 1069 00:56:12,200 --> 00:56:15,560 Speaker 1: with people that I really trusted, with people in the community, 1070 00:56:15,800 --> 00:56:18,719 Speaker 1: with just making sure that I was being I think 1071 00:56:18,719 --> 00:56:21,640 Speaker 1: there's a certain responsibility when you have a platform, whether 1072 00:56:21,760 --> 00:56:25,000 Speaker 1: you'd like to admit it or not. Um, but I 1073 00:56:25,440 --> 00:56:30,320 Speaker 1: do really think that honesty, more and more honesty is 1074 00:56:30,320 --> 00:56:32,840 Speaker 1: is going to be important from from people like like 1075 00:56:32,920 --> 00:56:34,759 Speaker 1: the both of us, from people who have It doesn't 1076 00:56:34,800 --> 00:56:36,919 Speaker 1: matter how many followers you have, whether you have ten 1077 00:56:37,040 --> 00:56:40,880 Speaker 1: or ten thousand or ten million, everybody's got a platform, 1078 00:56:40,920 --> 00:56:43,280 Speaker 1: and the honesty is what will kind of break down 1079 00:56:43,320 --> 00:56:48,120 Speaker 1: this like what seems like unachievable perfect world that still 1080 00:56:48,120 --> 00:56:51,319 Speaker 1: exists on Instagram, the glossy version of everybody has like 1081 00:56:51,440 --> 00:56:54,880 Speaker 1: my life is better than yours that Instagram creates. Well, 1082 00:56:54,920 --> 00:56:56,680 Speaker 1: I think that's huge, and I think that's really good 1083 00:56:56,680 --> 00:56:59,440 Speaker 1: advice what you said, like you think it through instead 1084 00:56:59,440 --> 00:57:02,640 Speaker 1: of having like kick reaction, where like you're going to 1085 00:57:02,680 --> 00:57:05,319 Speaker 1: say something just in the moment and then go wow, 1086 00:57:05,360 --> 00:57:08,120 Speaker 1: I didn't actually think this is so I know that 1087 00:57:08,120 --> 00:57:10,759 Speaker 1: that has when I'm tweeting or anything like that the 1088 00:57:10,800 --> 00:57:14,280 Speaker 1: shows on, if I'm immediately responding, I'm probably not gonna 1089 00:57:14,320 --> 00:57:17,080 Speaker 1: love my response. But if I like watch the show 1090 00:57:17,160 --> 00:57:20,320 Speaker 1: prepare then tweet, you know, like I have it organized, 1091 00:57:20,520 --> 00:57:23,360 Speaker 1: then I feel like I'm less likely to say something 1092 00:57:23,360 --> 00:57:27,400 Speaker 1: that I regret and more like, I actually this is 1093 00:57:27,440 --> 00:57:31,320 Speaker 1: how I feel. Um, how do I know you have 1094 00:57:31,560 --> 00:57:35,120 Speaker 1: like your recent singles out? How do people find you 1095 00:57:35,160 --> 00:57:37,720 Speaker 1: get more information on you? Listen to your recent songs, 1096 00:57:37,800 --> 00:57:41,360 Speaker 1: give us all the deep Yeah, I mean I it's 1097 00:57:41,360 --> 00:57:44,000 Speaker 1: been a it's been a crazy, weird, weird year, but 1098 00:57:44,960 --> 00:57:47,720 Speaker 1: I have really been honestly. The one thing that has 1099 00:57:47,720 --> 00:57:50,680 Speaker 1: gotten me through it, other than many many hours on 1100 00:57:50,720 --> 00:57:54,360 Speaker 1: TikTok is uh is writing and music. I put out 1101 00:57:54,360 --> 00:57:58,040 Speaker 1: a few singles um earlier this year called Closer and 1102 00:57:58,040 --> 00:58:01,240 Speaker 1: and Sweetheart, and people can find them everywhere. You listen 1103 00:58:01,280 --> 00:58:07,400 Speaker 1: to music wherever you want, Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, whatever. Right, 1104 00:58:07,440 --> 00:58:11,520 Speaker 1: all right, and then your Instagram is miss Rebecca Black. Right, 1105 00:58:11,840 --> 00:58:14,560 Speaker 1: It's Rebecca Black. That's it. You guys have to go. 1106 00:58:14,880 --> 00:58:16,920 Speaker 1: You have such a beautiful voice, you have such a 1107 00:58:16,920 --> 00:58:18,840 Speaker 1: great heart, And I think this is such a good 1108 00:58:18,840 --> 00:58:22,120 Speaker 1: message to put out there, like fight for your dreams. 1109 00:58:22,160 --> 00:58:24,440 Speaker 1: Like also know like you can talk to your parents 1110 00:58:24,440 --> 00:58:26,960 Speaker 1: and be open with what's going on. And if you 1111 00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:29,640 Speaker 1: are a parent listening to this podcast right now, talk 1112 00:58:29,680 --> 00:58:33,560 Speaker 1: to your kids about what they're doing. Get yourself involved, 1113 00:58:33,800 --> 00:58:36,040 Speaker 1: and if they're not involving you, it might mean that 1114 00:58:36,120 --> 00:58:41,440 Speaker 1: something's wrong. Yeah, that's perfectly said. Thank you so much, Betty, 1115 00:58:41,920 --> 00:58:47,400 Speaker 1: thank you so much for coming on. Well, guys, I 1116 00:58:47,440 --> 00:58:50,080 Speaker 1: hope you took in as much from this episode as 1117 00:58:50,160 --> 00:58:53,080 Speaker 1: I did. I know speaking to Rebecca and Josh, we're 1118 00:58:53,120 --> 00:58:55,880 Speaker 1: both eye opening to me a lot of good reminders 1119 00:58:55,880 --> 00:58:59,280 Speaker 1: for myself, but also for our kids and what the 1120 00:58:59,320 --> 00:59:01,440 Speaker 1: world is they're growing up in. I think social media 1121 00:59:01,480 --> 00:59:04,440 Speaker 1: can be such a positive, but if we don't handle 1122 00:59:04,480 --> 00:59:06,840 Speaker 1: it right, it can also be such a negative. I 1123 00:59:06,880 --> 00:59:10,880 Speaker 1: appreciate you guys tuning in and please continue to send 1124 00:59:10,880 --> 00:59:13,520 Speaker 1: me your topics. I want to be on the pulse 1125 00:59:13,560 --> 00:59:15,480 Speaker 1: of what you guys want to hear, what you want 1126 00:59:15,520 --> 00:59:17,600 Speaker 1: to talk about. I try my best to be an 1127 00:59:17,600 --> 00:59:20,040 Speaker 1: open book for you guys and talk to you about 1128 00:59:20,080 --> 00:59:21,840 Speaker 1: everything that's going on in my life. But I want 1129 00:59:21,880 --> 00:59:23,480 Speaker 1: to know what's going on in your life and the 1130 00:59:23,560 --> 00:59:26,479 Speaker 1: topics you want me to dig into. So please either 1131 00:59:26,560 --> 00:59:29,640 Speaker 1: send us a d M at um Teddy T Pot 1132 00:59:29,760 --> 00:59:32,080 Speaker 1: or send us an email at Teddy at Teddy t 1133 00:59:32,240 --> 00:59:35,480 Speaker 1: pot dot com. Thank you so much, thanks for listening. 1134 00:59:35,880 --> 00:59:39,160 Speaker 1: Subscribe to Teddy tea Pot on her radio or wherever 1135 00:59:39,280 --> 00:59:40,440 Speaker 1: you listen to podcasts.