1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:03,279 Speaker 1: My girlfriend didn't want to open her gift, so I 2 00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:06,480 Speaker 1: opened it for her. My girlfriend recently had a birthday. 3 00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:08,920 Speaker 1: We had a small get together at our apartment, but 4 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:12,240 Speaker 1: my girlfriend feels uncomfortable opening gifts in front of people 5 00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:15,360 Speaker 1: because the pressure, and all of her friends know that 6 00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:19,599 Speaker 1: she opened them privately that evening. By the way, this 7 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:22,120 Speaker 1: comes from a throwaway account on the r slash okay 8 00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:26,720 Speaker 1: storytime subreddit, so submit your stories there well. Two days later, 9 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:30,560 Speaker 1: my parents' gift arrived. My parents are on the wealthy 10 00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:35,400 Speaker 1: side and brought her a designer handbag she had been 11 00:00:35,479 --> 00:00:39,839 Speaker 1: openly admiring the last time we visited. They had purchased 12 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:42,320 Speaker 1: the bag that weekend and had been saving it for 13 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:45,839 Speaker 1: her birthday. She responded a thank you before she opened 14 00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:48,879 Speaker 1: it and would let them know when she did. The 15 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:52,760 Speaker 1: box sat at our dresser for about two days before 16 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:55,960 Speaker 1: my parents sent a text wondering if she had opened 17 00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:59,040 Speaker 1: it yet. I asked her when she would open the gift, 18 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:00,000 Speaker 1: and she just shrugged. 19 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:01,560 Speaker 2: He said soon. 20 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:05,679 Speaker 1: I was also really excited to see her open this gift. 21 00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:09,840 Speaker 1: I knew that it would be something that she really wanted. 22 00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:14,639 Speaker 1: A few more days passed, my parents checked in again, 23 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,399 Speaker 1: about whether she had opened the gift. 24 00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:17,160 Speaker 2: At this point, my. 25 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,240 Speaker 1: Girlfriend came to me and asked if I could tell 26 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:22,360 Speaker 1: my parents a back off, and she was feeling too 27 00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:25,800 Speaker 1: much pressure around opening the gift and it was making 28 00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:30,080 Speaker 1: her not want to open it really quick. Pausing here, 29 00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:32,400 Speaker 1: how long is too long to not open a gift? 30 00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:37,720 Speaker 1: Like a couple minutes? Aren't you curious to what is 31 00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:41,839 Speaker 1: it inside? I don't get I don't get that get 32 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:42,440 Speaker 1: this at all. 33 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:44,440 Speaker 2: Not I don't understand myself. 34 00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:47,800 Speaker 3: I could see how someone would be uncomfortable, maybe if 35 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:50,080 Speaker 3: it's a spectacle or whatever in front of other people. 36 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:53,280 Speaker 3: But after and he's like, hey, this is something I 37 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,120 Speaker 3: know you really want, you'd be like, oh, I want 38 00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:56,680 Speaker 3: to receive the thing. 39 00:01:56,840 --> 00:02:02,320 Speaker 1: Also, honestly, red flag if you're getting If you feel 40 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:05,480 Speaker 1: too much pressure to open up a present within a 41 00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:09,679 Speaker 1: couple of daytime period when you are alone, I don't 42 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:13,280 Speaker 1: know if you can deal with the pressures of life together. Honestly, 43 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:18,800 Speaker 1: I feel like not a resilient person. 44 00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:20,520 Speaker 2: I'll stand with you on that. 45 00:02:20,680 --> 00:02:24,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe that is too judgmental, but then again, that 46 00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:28,400 Speaker 1: is a little bit of this show. Is I admit 47 00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:31,200 Speaker 1: that I have never really understood this and I told 48 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:33,960 Speaker 1: her that I didn't get why she wouldn't open it. 49 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:38,000 Speaker 1: My parents weren't there, and all it would require is 50 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:40,800 Speaker 1: a thank you text at the very least to acknowledge it. 51 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:43,440 Speaker 1: To me, it was the exact same as our friends 52 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:46,400 Speaker 1: leaving the party before opening her gifts. She got really 53 00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:50,160 Speaker 1: frustrated with me and said, you just don't get how 54 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:58,880 Speaker 1: uncomfortable it makes me. Symphasis, do you like if you 55 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:01,680 Speaker 1: order a package on Amazon? Do you just not open 56 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:04,560 Speaker 1: any of them? But like Jeff, you just don't understand. 57 00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:07,760 Speaker 3: I think also the main thing here in all seriousness, 58 00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:10,600 Speaker 3: is that, like she could have said at least thank you, 59 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:11,760 Speaker 3: I don't know if there's something going. 60 00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:14,919 Speaker 1: She did say thank you when she received the package 61 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:17,959 Speaker 1: and said I will update you when I've opened it. 62 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:21,359 Speaker 2: Then I think it's like just lie and just say 63 00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:24,240 Speaker 2: I love the thing. Yeah, it was so great. It 64 00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:25,600 Speaker 2: was what I wanted. I don't know. 65 00:03:25,919 --> 00:03:29,079 Speaker 1: Yeah, actually no, I don't think you should lie. But 66 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:32,320 Speaker 1: about a week after the gift arrived, my parents texted 67 00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:36,440 Speaker 1: me outside of our group chat and asked if she 68 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:39,840 Speaker 1: liked the bag. I told them she still had not 69 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:44,960 Speaker 1: opened the gift. A week later, I let her go 70 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:48,080 Speaker 1: let her go, Would you break up? 71 00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:51,960 Speaker 2: Anthony? I mean, like, where does that come from? Like 72 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:56,560 Speaker 2: deep security? Is that? Yeah? Like you're only making it 73 00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:58,720 Speaker 2: like you're just not going to ever open the gift. 74 00:03:58,840 --> 00:03:59,200 Speaker 2: I guess. 75 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:01,640 Speaker 3: So it feels like, yeah, there's something big that like 76 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:04,360 Speaker 3: we're not cluted on here or or op for that. 77 00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:09,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think therapy therapy. I told them she still 78 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:13,840 Speaker 1: had not opened the gift. They asked me if they 79 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:17,760 Speaker 1: made her uncomfortable, which I guess the answer would be yes, 80 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:21,880 Speaker 1: by just giving her a gift if they have overstepped 81 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:24,680 Speaker 1: in any way or something. They've gotten her gifts before 82 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:27,400 Speaker 1: that they that have never gone over like this. I 83 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:29,800 Speaker 1: truly did not understand why she was not opening it, 84 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:32,840 Speaker 1: and at this point I thought it was borderline rude 85 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:38,000 Speaker 1: to not open it and acknowledge the gift. So she 86 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:42,839 Speaker 1: went out with her friends yesterday evening and I opened 87 00:04:42,839 --> 00:04:46,719 Speaker 1: the box for her, displayed the bag on the dresser 88 00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:50,279 Speaker 1: so the pressure of opening it was removed and we 89 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:52,000 Speaker 1: could just move on. 90 00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:59,000 Speaker 2: My man is a hero. Gosh, dang hero taken a bullet. 91 00:04:59,680 --> 00:04:59,960 Speaker 2: I am. 92 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:03,400 Speaker 3: I'm gonna throw a very quick absolute hail Mary conspiracy theory. 93 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:07,839 Speaker 3: Oh please do she is sleeping with his bother, and 94 00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:10,560 Speaker 3: she is like, I need to remove myself from any 95 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:11,960 Speaker 3: communication or connection there. 96 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:13,200 Speaker 2: I said it, We'll see if it happens. 97 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:17,880 Speaker 1: It's a hail Mary, a thick, juicy update, so there 98 00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:21,680 Speaker 1: is enough words than this to maybe have that be true. 99 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:25,279 Speaker 1: I really thought I was doing her a favor and 100 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:30,440 Speaker 1: ending this awkward situation. Well, when she got home and 101 00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:36,200 Speaker 1: saw it, she was pissed. She said she had guessed 102 00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:39,599 Speaker 1: it was the bag she had wanted and felt awkward 103 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:42,400 Speaker 1: knowing it was an expensive gift and she did not 104 00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:45,719 Speaker 1: feel comfortable opening it up yet. I tried to explain 105 00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:48,040 Speaker 1: that she was being a bit rude putting it off, 106 00:05:48,279 --> 00:05:50,960 Speaker 1: but she said it was more rude of me to 107 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,760 Speaker 1: open it for her. We went to bed shortly after, 108 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,839 Speaker 1: and she was very short with me in the morning. 109 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:59,800 Speaker 1: The bag is still sitting on the dresser where I 110 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:03,320 Speaker 1: so am I the A hole? We have some relevant 111 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:08,680 Speaker 1: comments with some responses from OPU, and we have an update. 112 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:12,000 Speaker 1: But what do we think is op the A hole? 113 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,400 Speaker 2: No, I'm just gonna happen right here. 114 00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:20,839 Speaker 4: She thinks her feeling uncomfortable is more important than him 115 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:26,440 Speaker 4: feeling uncomfortable with his family and the embarrassment that he's 116 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:29,960 Speaker 4: going through having to tell his parents that she still 117 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:31,240 Speaker 4: hasn't open this gift. 118 00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:33,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think so too. 119 00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:35,640 Speaker 3: In a relationship, you kind of have to like both 120 00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:38,159 Speaker 3: come to the table and it could be like, oh, hey, 121 00:06:38,279 --> 00:06:40,480 Speaker 3: like please explain more what was making comfortable to make 122 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,240 Speaker 3: Maybe I can hear learn something I didn't know, and 123 00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:44,760 Speaker 3: she's like, hey, you know, maybe that was rude of 124 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:47,320 Speaker 3: me to you know, your parents got me this very 125 00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:49,760 Speaker 3: expensive get instead of like putting it off. It's like 126 00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:53,520 Speaker 3: maybe at least like saying thank you. I don't know, 127 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,200 Speaker 3: like anything. 128 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:59,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's I why why is she uncomfortable? Does 129 00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:02,599 Speaker 1: she feel like she's indebted because of this expensive gift 130 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:03,640 Speaker 1: to the parents or something. 131 00:07:03,839 --> 00:07:05,440 Speaker 2: Well, she is sleeping with his father. 132 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:09,279 Speaker 1: That we do know that there's one thing we know 133 00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:18,000 Speaker 1: if we really read between the lines, John's not confusing them. 134 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:23,400 Speaker 1: He's enlightening those Yeah, I don't know. I think I 135 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:26,960 Speaker 1: think what you said, Anthony really makes sense too. I 136 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:33,840 Speaker 1: think John, I feel like there's this idea of not 137 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:36,440 Speaker 1: really coming to the table at all in the relationship. 138 00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:39,640 Speaker 1: It doesn't seem like she's listening to how she's he's 139 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:45,680 Speaker 1: feeling so let's go into the comments. Let's do it 140 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:48,760 Speaker 1: so Commoner says, not the a hole. If my girlfriend 141 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:51,640 Speaker 1: wouldn't open my parents' gift, I would tell her that 142 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:55,080 Speaker 1: I will tell my parents to never gift anything to 143 00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:57,960 Speaker 1: her if it makes her so uncomfortable that it affects 144 00:07:57,960 --> 00:08:01,760 Speaker 1: my relationship and she doesn't deserve anything from them, but 145 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:04,840 Speaker 1: because she doesn't appreciate it, I. 146 00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:05,680 Speaker 2: Kind of agree with that. 147 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,440 Speaker 1: Then will return the gift to my parents or to 148 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:10,720 Speaker 1: store it if the parents don't need it, and tell 149 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:14,400 Speaker 1: them big thanks for trying. I would also require an 150 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:18,600 Speaker 1: explanation for what exactly is happening in my girlfriend's mind 151 00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:22,080 Speaker 1: and why she felt anxious, so in the future I 152 00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:24,680 Speaker 1: could protect her mind, or if she can't explain it 153 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:27,720 Speaker 1: and keeps acting like an ungrateful brat in other instances, 154 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:31,560 Speaker 1: than just drop her. I love how how it's like 155 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:34,959 Speaker 1: we could be super kinder and understand her inner mind, 156 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:39,560 Speaker 1: or we could just dumber and not in the cool way, 157 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:42,959 Speaker 1: not in the way the internet's using like she brat. Yeah, 158 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:45,360 Speaker 1: not the cool, not the cool breat the whack bread, 159 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:48,199 Speaker 1: the whack bret. I hate people who create problems out 160 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:51,280 Speaker 1: of nothing, and this is a problem sucked out of 161 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:54,120 Speaker 1: her finger. It's very hard to live with such people, 162 00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:56,400 Speaker 1: as they will create drama from pretty much everything, which 163 00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:57,640 Speaker 1: is kind of what we were saying in the beginning. 164 00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:02,040 Speaker 1: Seems like a red flag kind of human OPI responds, dude, 165 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:05,959 Speaker 1: way too much. She's not ungrateful, and she's not a brat. 166 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:09,560 Speaker 1: And then Commander says, I put money down that your 167 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:13,520 Speaker 1: girlfriend has some kind of untreated OCD, and Opie responds, 168 00:09:13,559 --> 00:09:15,440 Speaker 1: You're not the first person to have said this. A 169 00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:17,560 Speaker 1: few of our mutual friends have commented on some of 170 00:09:17,559 --> 00:09:21,080 Speaker 1: her tendencies common with OCD. Could you elaborate? Don't think 171 00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:24,400 Speaker 1: either of us would have associated it with our perception 172 00:09:24,559 --> 00:09:27,880 Speaker 1: of OCD. And comment to responded, has your relationship been 173 00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:31,600 Speaker 1: good recently for any fights or perceived slights? I'm wondering 174 00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:33,880 Speaker 1: if maybe she felt it was wrong to accept a 175 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:37,280 Speaker 1: gift from them because of something related to your relationship. 176 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:40,199 Speaker 1: Small things like this often go a bit deeper than 177 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:46,880 Speaker 1: you would expect, like maybe doing your dad. Opi responds, downvoted. 178 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:50,040 Speaker 1: A few comments have suggested this, but with full sincerity, 179 00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:53,200 Speaker 1: our relationship is great. We are very in love. Clearly 180 00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:56,320 Speaker 1: I blundered here, but I don't think she was avoiding 181 00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:59,800 Speaker 1: opening it because of a problem with our relationship. There 182 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:03,960 Speaker 1: is a big fat, juicy update the next day. But John, 183 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:07,560 Speaker 1: what do you like, do you do you agree with 184 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:11,880 Speaker 1: what Op's saying here? Is like, uh, she was avoiding, 185 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,640 Speaker 1: Like He's like, oh no, there's not a problem with 186 00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:14,319 Speaker 1: our relationship. 187 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:16,000 Speaker 2: Yeah. I think. 188 00:10:16,559 --> 00:10:18,960 Speaker 3: Look, maybe I think it is possible it's not a 189 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:21,920 Speaker 3: problem with the relationship. But I don't know what that 190 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:25,000 Speaker 3: commenter's relationship with OCD or what what they what they 191 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:28,280 Speaker 3: know is. But is there potentially something here that perhaps 192 00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:31,559 Speaker 3: she is even unaware of, and it's and like I 193 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:34,760 Speaker 3: feel like OP going that one commenter put it perfectly, 194 00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:37,120 Speaker 3: I want to understand to know how to protect you 195 00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:37,880 Speaker 3: in the future. 196 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:39,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that. 197 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:42,240 Speaker 3: Is like, hey, like, please, I I I honestly don't 198 00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:45,360 Speaker 3: understand yet, Please help me understand it. Maybe there's something 199 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:47,599 Speaker 3: deeper in maybe some way I can help or to 200 00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:48,120 Speaker 3: avoid this. 201 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:48,560 Speaker 2: In the future. 202 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:51,640 Speaker 1: But I think the idea that there like isn't anything 203 00:10:51,679 --> 00:10:56,480 Speaker 1: wrong is I think that that's gonna make more problems 204 00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:59,439 Speaker 1: like this coming out. I think you gotta understand, like 205 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:00,960 Speaker 1: you said, you gotta understand the mind. 206 00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:04,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it's like, hey, fair enough to not 207 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:07,559 Speaker 3: like try to pin the the issue on any one person. 208 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,960 Speaker 3: It's like, hey, there seems to be an issue here. Yeah, 209 00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:12,080 Speaker 3: and that's deeper than the surface. 210 00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:17,480 Speaker 4: I think it's just a form of procrastination. It's like 211 00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:21,440 Speaker 4: having to do with the reactions thing at the birthday party. 212 00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:24,040 Speaker 4: She doesn't want to feel pressure to react a certain 213 00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:26,240 Speaker 4: way to somebody giving her a gift. Yeah, And I 214 00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:30,560 Speaker 4: think she's sort of fearing what reactions she'll have to 215 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:33,880 Speaker 4: give for this gift, and so she's just kind of 216 00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:34,720 Speaker 4: putting it off. 217 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:38,320 Speaker 1: Maybe because the gift is so big she has to 218 00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:39,920 Speaker 1: like she's feeling like, oh, I have to give a 219 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,959 Speaker 1: big reaction, and like that's so so much pressure to 220 00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:46,679 Speaker 1: give the reaction I feel is warranted of such an 221 00:11:46,679 --> 00:11:47,400 Speaker 1: expensive gift. 222 00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:50,120 Speaker 2: But I do think that's something that just needs to 223 00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:52,520 Speaker 2: be worked on. 224 00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:55,920 Speaker 4: And the reaction of I can't believe you opened the 225 00:11:56,000 --> 00:12:00,360 Speaker 4: gift isn't very justified because like, from his perspective, she's 226 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:02,679 Speaker 4: never going to open the gift. Yeah at this rate, 227 00:12:02,679 --> 00:12:04,880 Speaker 4: it's been a week, Yeah, and so what else are 228 00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:05,360 Speaker 4: you going to do. 229 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:09,400 Speaker 3: It's that effect of like, uh, you'll go down this 230 00:12:09,679 --> 00:12:11,920 Speaker 3: you'll go, you know, out of your apartment down the 231 00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:14,120 Speaker 3: street to the pizza shop to get a slice of pizza, 232 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:17,839 Speaker 3: but just bringing your recycling, you know, outside your doors, Like, oh, 233 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:20,760 Speaker 3: it's too much where there's like a like a mental 234 00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:23,120 Speaker 3: thing there where you're kind of mental block bigger in 235 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:24,360 Speaker 3: our heads. I could totally see that. 236 00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:32,000 Speaker 1: But there is a update also really quick with what 237 00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:35,600 Speaker 1: Reddit says. Reddit says, everyone's the able here. Everyone sucks here. 238 00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:40,880 Speaker 1: So h update. I wasn't planning on updating, but there 239 00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:43,360 Speaker 1: were some things in the comments I wanted to address. 240 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:48,160 Speaker 1: Most importantly, my girlfriend and I are still together, which 241 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:49,240 Speaker 1: is I guess good. 242 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:53,719 Speaker 3: Hey we made it twenty four hours, not once, congratulations, 243 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:54,520 Speaker 3: not once. 244 00:12:54,559 --> 00:12:56,760 Speaker 1: Did it cross my mind she was avoiding the gift 245 00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:58,840 Speaker 1: because she wanted to break up with me. We've been 246 00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:02,040 Speaker 1: together for three years and are in a loving relationship. 247 00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:04,680 Speaker 2: Dang. Reddit was like, dude, she's. 248 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:08,680 Speaker 1: Gonna break up with you, which is honestly something I 249 00:13:08,679 --> 00:13:09,600 Speaker 1: didn't even think about. 250 00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:13,679 Speaker 2: It kind of makes sense. Wow, you take sense to 251 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:14,400 Speaker 2: break up with her? 252 00:13:14,679 --> 00:13:17,320 Speaker 1: No, Like, all right, If if she was planning on 253 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:19,560 Speaker 1: breaking up with him and she got a super expensive 254 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,080 Speaker 1: gift for the parents, then it would be like, I 255 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:23,520 Speaker 1: don't want to open this up because I'm going to 256 00:13:23,559 --> 00:13:27,080 Speaker 1: break up with you in a bit, which totally. 257 00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:28,240 Speaker 2: Why do you totally make sense? 258 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:30,719 Speaker 3: Think about that Reddit got us, that it got us, 259 00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:31,760 Speaker 3: Reddit won us zero. 260 00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:34,600 Speaker 1: I f'd up in this situation, but we'll get through it. 261 00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:37,520 Speaker 1: I was raised in a polite, always say thank you, 262 00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:40,200 Speaker 1: send a thank you card kind of way, which it 263 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:42,640 Speaker 1: seems other people in the comments can relate to. But 264 00:13:42,679 --> 00:13:44,880 Speaker 1: my parents were in no way bombarding us with text 265 00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:46,920 Speaker 1: or harassing her over this gift. We have a group 266 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,040 Speaker 1: chat together, and they just sent a follow up text 267 00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:52,079 Speaker 1: every other day or so, just wondering if she had 268 00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:56,000 Speaker 1: opened it. They are definitely nosy Midwestern parents, but we 269 00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:58,160 Speaker 1: both know they were not coming from a place of 270 00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:01,679 Speaker 1: negativity or blame or in any way trying to pressure 271 00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:05,800 Speaker 1: her into something. They were genuinely excited to have been 272 00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:08,880 Speaker 1: able to provide this gift for her. They have a 273 00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:12,960 Speaker 1: great relationship. Yes, my girlfriend has expressed this comfort around 274 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:16,040 Speaker 1: opening gifts before, but not in a way that indicated 275 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:18,439 Speaker 1: she doesn't like receiving them. She told me she just 276 00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:21,280 Speaker 1: hates the pressure of reacting a certain way in front 277 00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:24,120 Speaker 1: of people, and also thinks it can be awkward for 278 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:27,480 Speaker 1: other gift givers. Usually, if someone gives her something, she 279 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:30,680 Speaker 1: opens it as soon as she is in private. On 280 00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:33,560 Speaker 1: her birthday, I left her a gift by the bed 281 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:35,240 Speaker 1: and went to get breakfast. When I came back, she'd 282 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:37,720 Speaker 1: opened it and was happy with it. That's why I 283 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:39,720 Speaker 1: was so confused as to why she has not opened 284 00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:42,920 Speaker 1: this gift. As effed up as it sounds, I really 285 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:45,560 Speaker 1: did think I was helping by opening the gift. Comments 286 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:48,120 Speaker 1: have helped me realize where I went wrong. But I 287 00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:51,200 Speaker 1: never had the intention of manipulating her, or coercing her 288 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:54,520 Speaker 1: or controlling her. A dang read it. I admit that 289 00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:56,880 Speaker 1: I let my own desire to see her joy at 290 00:14:56,880 --> 00:15:00,400 Speaker 1: the gift overshadow the true intention. When we return home 291 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,960 Speaker 1: from work yesterday, we sat down together to work it 292 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:08,440 Speaker 1: all out. Good communication, starting with me apologizing for ruining 293 00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:11,160 Speaker 1: her gift. She told me she had called my parents 294 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,640 Speaker 1: on her lunch break and thanked them. She told me 295 00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:16,960 Speaker 1: she had a feeling they'd gotten her the bag after 296 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:20,120 Speaker 1: she'd been talking about it, and was both excited and 297 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:22,920 Speaker 1: anxious about the cost. She said by the time the 298 00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:25,280 Speaker 1: package arrived, she had gotten her hopes up and felt 299 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:29,200 Speaker 1: guilty of potential disappointment if she opened it and it 300 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:32,080 Speaker 1: wasn't the bag, and that her anxiety around it continued 301 00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:35,400 Speaker 1: to build up as it sat there. Wow, that is 302 00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:39,120 Speaker 1: That is an interesting case of anxiety where it's like, 303 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,480 Speaker 1: I want this to be what it is, and it 304 00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:43,400 Speaker 1: is what it is, but if it's not what it is, 305 00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:44,280 Speaker 1: I'm going to be sad. 306 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:47,000 Speaker 2: That is not what it is Shroudinger's bag. I was 307 00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:48,240 Speaker 2: gonna say that. 308 00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:53,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, she apologized to me for not being able to 309 00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:56,880 Speaker 1: communicate that clearly beforehand. I do understand this, and I 310 00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,200 Speaker 1: know that I jumped the gun a bit. We also 311 00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:02,720 Speaker 1: talked a bit about neurodivergence, and I appreciate everyone who 312 00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:06,600 Speaker 1: posted about their experience with anxiety autism OCD. It's not 313 00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:09,520 Speaker 1: the first time she has been told she has autistic 314 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:14,000 Speaker 1: or OCD tendencies, though at the moment she's unsure if 315 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:17,520 Speaker 1: she wants to move forward with getting a diagnosis, and 316 00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:19,760 Speaker 1: you should also move forward with joining us on the 317 00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:24,480 Speaker 1: live every weekday three PMPST come on over. But that 318 00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:25,520 Speaker 1: is where it ends. 319 00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:31,600 Speaker 3: Wow, okay, kind of is this resolved? 320 00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:36,720 Speaker 1: This feels on the like on the way to getting resolved. 321 00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:40,000 Speaker 1: I think what we've discovered and maybe what op knows 322 00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:43,440 Speaker 1: is probably a lot of anxiety that she's dealing with 323 00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:47,520 Speaker 1: and potentially OCD or it seems like more OCD than 324 00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:53,360 Speaker 1: autistic tendencies, but definitely maybe at least anxiety and maybe 325 00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:55,720 Speaker 1: now she can go to a bit of therapy. As 326 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:58,760 Speaker 1: Christin foilhat she needs quite a bit of therapy. 327 00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:01,520 Speaker 3: It seems like it was me possibly a little sprinkling 328 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,760 Speaker 3: of like everything we said. It's like the anxiety and 329 00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:07,000 Speaker 3: pressure of like of the gift and the procrastination maybe 330 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:07,280 Speaker 3: she had. 331 00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:09,040 Speaker 2: There's some neurodivertent things going on. 332 00:17:11,359 --> 00:17:13,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay, but at least they got to a place 333 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:16,320 Speaker 1: where they were communicating, which I am hyped about. 334 00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:17,320 Speaker 2: Which I'm hyped about. 335 00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:20,200 Speaker 3: It seems like they have communicated and it's it's like 336 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,919 Speaker 3: like maybe she might investigate further, so like the communication 337 00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:24,320 Speaker 3: is like ining. 338 00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:29,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, And Cassie f says, the only thing that would 339 00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:31,919 Speaker 1: make the update better would have been telling us she 340 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:32,920 Speaker 1: would go to therapy. 341 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:36,760 Speaker 2: That would be good. True. The commitment, the commitment, that's 342 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:39,400 Speaker 2: what we need. We need commitment from these people. Commitment 343 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:41,040 Speaker 2: like opening a bag. 344 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:43,679 Speaker 1: Like opening a bag, dude, imagine we're both opening a 345 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:47,439 Speaker 1: bag like I can't I whenever I get Amazon package, 346 00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:48,800 Speaker 1: I'm just so excited. 347 00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:51,040 Speaker 2: Oh, immediately Christmas. 348 00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:53,320 Speaker 3: I went close shopping this weekend, as we just talked 349 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:54,440 Speaker 3: about previously. 350 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:57,520 Speaker 2: Immediately changed into the clothes. Yeah, there's no waiting. I 351 00:17:57,560 --> 00:17:59,280 Speaker 2: don't want to play. I got a toy. I want 352 00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:02,800 Speaker 2: to play with it now. Exactly when when? When? 353 00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:05,960 Speaker 1: When it was Christmas, I would go down like every 354 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:09,359 Speaker 1: couple hours to check with the presence we're there, and 355 00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:11,800 Speaker 1: then I would just kind of like like I would 356 00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:13,800 Speaker 1: before my parents woke up. I would just shake all 357 00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:16,600 Speaker 1: of them. Is inside it's too good? 358 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,560 Speaker 2: Yea, But I couldn't open I didn't want to open it. 359 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:20,040 Speaker 2: But I want to shake them. I want to get 360 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:21,879 Speaker 2: I want to get a little knowledge of what's inside. 361 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:22,040 Speaker 2: You know. 362 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:26,639 Speaker 1: But yeah, that is where that story ends. But we 363 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:27,639 Speaker 1: got another story for you. 364 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:31,080 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, we do. We got another story. Let's see 365 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:32,159 Speaker 2: how low it goes. 366 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:35,520 Speaker 3: My boyfriend made fun of my music taste, so I 367 00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:37,800 Speaker 3: called him out in front of his friends. How So, 368 00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:41,160 Speaker 3: let's find out a little background. We've been going out 369 00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:44,840 Speaker 3: since high school and we have a very jokey relationship, 370 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:48,520 Speaker 3: like your relationship is a joker, poking fun for the 371 00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:51,679 Speaker 3: most Poking fun for the most part isn't out of 372 00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:53,840 Speaker 3: the question, though if one of us says we aren't 373 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:56,040 Speaker 3: comfortable with one of the jokes, then the other makes 374 00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:58,919 Speaker 3: an efforts uh not to make it again for the 375 00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:02,440 Speaker 3: most part, or context coming. Speaking of context, this comes 376 00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:06,360 Speaker 3: from May Jailer in bel Air from the arslagh Okay 377 00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,720 Speaker 3: story times. I read it drop your stories there. So 378 00:19:09,119 --> 00:19:11,800 Speaker 3: I've been a bit of an obsessive fan of the 379 00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:15,159 Speaker 3: music artist since I was fourteen. No free sponsors or 380 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:19,359 Speaker 3: for no sponsors, run a delay that's a dope name. 381 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:23,200 Speaker 3: I have more than one tattoo inspired by this artist 382 00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:26,879 Speaker 3: and her aesthetic. Wow, do we have more people with 383 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:29,359 Speaker 3: tattoos of us than delra? 384 00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:33,119 Speaker 1: We only want one okop to knowledge to our knowledge, 385 00:19:33,119 --> 00:19:35,439 Speaker 1: there could be more if anyone has one. Put it 386 00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:39,639 Speaker 1: in the tattoo chat in the hobby section of our discords. 387 00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:41,880 Speaker 3: Top of the discord sound off over there, or get 388 00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:44,480 Speaker 3: a new tattoo and make us happy. So I have 389 00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:47,800 Speaker 3: seen her in concert multiple times, I own more marks 390 00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:50,439 Speaker 3: than I can say, and have run several different fan 391 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:53,919 Speaker 3: accounts devoting to her during this time. I understand this 392 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,679 Speaker 3: is weird. I try not to bring it up in 393 00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:59,240 Speaker 3: everyday conversation because I'm aware it is weird. Most people 394 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,639 Speaker 3: who know me in do not know this about me, 395 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:04,040 Speaker 3: and only my best friend and boyfriend know about my 396 00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:04,720 Speaker 3: fan accounts. 397 00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:06,399 Speaker 2: I don't think it's too weird. 398 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:08,840 Speaker 1: Fan accounts unless it's like erotic fanfic or something. 399 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:10,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, but I feel like a big like, oh, I'm 400 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:12,919 Speaker 2: a big fan. Yeah. I think that's okay. I think 401 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:13,720 Speaker 2: it's okay. 402 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:16,560 Speaker 3: I am not the person who is annoying in large 403 00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:19,520 Speaker 3: groups about it anymore. There was a learning curve when 404 00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:21,320 Speaker 3: I was in high school. But losing friends is a 405 00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:22,720 Speaker 3: great motivator to fix yourself. 406 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:23,080 Speaker 2: Damn. 407 00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:25,439 Speaker 1: She talked about Lana del Rey so much that she 408 00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:26,720 Speaker 1: lost friends over it. 409 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:32,000 Speaker 2: Yeah. WHOA, that's dedication, is Yeah, that's dedication. 410 00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:35,720 Speaker 3: My boyfriend has on and off made jokes about that 411 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:36,600 Speaker 3: since we got together. 412 00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:39,120 Speaker 2: Admittedly, when imever I bring it up. 413 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:42,000 Speaker 3: That it makes me feel insecure and unsafe expressing myself 414 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:44,520 Speaker 3: around him. He stops for a while, but he always 415 00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:47,639 Speaker 3: starts up again, and it just bothers me. I can't 416 00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:50,359 Speaker 3: fully explain it, but it makes me feel like the 417 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:53,639 Speaker 3: things that I like, are somehow inherently bad, and that 418 00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:56,359 Speaker 3: he wants me to stop having this interest because he 419 00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:57,919 Speaker 3: doesn't see value in it. 420 00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:02,240 Speaker 1: WHOA, that is a pretty deep analysis of it, and 421 00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:04,360 Speaker 1: there's a potential for it to be right. 422 00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:09,640 Speaker 4: Oh, you mean people shouldn't be obsessed with Lena Ray No? 423 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:11,359 Speaker 2: I mean that, I mean. 424 00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:15,800 Speaker 1: No, no, I mean that she potentially could be right 425 00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:17,359 Speaker 1: that her boyfriend might think. 426 00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:19,399 Speaker 2: That that being a man of more on in de 427 00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:20,560 Speaker 2: lay is too much. 428 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, it might be that, I think, I like because 429 00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:25,440 Speaker 1: there's like this old Russian saying, or it's like there's 430 00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:27,840 Speaker 1: a joke in every joke, And it could be that 431 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:31,920 Speaker 1: he's he's rising on her so much because he really 432 00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:34,639 Speaker 1: doesn't think it is a valuable interest to have and 433 00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:36,000 Speaker 1: might think it's a little weird. 434 00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:38,119 Speaker 2: There's a joke in every joke. 435 00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:41,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, where it's like basically like within if you're making 436 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:44,159 Speaker 1: a joke about something, there's a little bit of truth 437 00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:44,640 Speaker 1: in there. 438 00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:48,399 Speaker 2: So why isn't it there's a there's a truth in every. 439 00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:50,760 Speaker 1: Joke because if you say a joke in every joke, 440 00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:54,000 Speaker 1: it's almost like it's like a too negatives equal to positive, 441 00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:55,880 Speaker 1: So it's like you're joking about part of the joke, 442 00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:57,439 Speaker 1: which means it's part of it is true. 443 00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:02,760 Speaker 3: I never thought that ron Adel Bay fan groups could 444 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:04,600 Speaker 3: ever have gotten this deep, but here we are. 445 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,080 Speaker 2: This is okay story tom ladies and gentlemen. 446 00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:11,480 Speaker 3: So now he's never said that explicitly that he doesn't 447 00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:14,639 Speaker 3: see value in it, but that's how he makes me feel. 448 00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:17,359 Speaker 3: An example, I had been clearing the dishes and listening 449 00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:19,600 Speaker 3: to her music when he came into the kitchen and 450 00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:22,600 Speaker 3: started singing along in the most high pitched, off key 451 00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:26,480 Speaker 3: falsetto voice I have ever heard before busting up and 452 00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:29,600 Speaker 3: turning it off and saying something like, I don't see 453 00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:30,960 Speaker 3: why you listen to this crap. 454 00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:37,320 Speaker 1: I think he might really not like the interest. That's 455 00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:41,280 Speaker 1: a lot a lot. That would be like John. That 456 00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:45,119 Speaker 1: would be like me listening to Kendrick and just being like, like, 457 00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:52,560 Speaker 1: my name is Kendrick. Yeah, how do you feel angry? 458 00:22:53,400 --> 00:23:02,000 Speaker 2: I would say, who's Kendrick? Get them just kidding? I 459 00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:02,840 Speaker 2: will spare you today. 460 00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:05,439 Speaker 3: So now this was one of the times that I 461 00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:08,560 Speaker 3: told him he had hurt my feelings. He apologized, explained 462 00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:11,040 Speaker 3: that he had only meant it as a lighthearted joke 463 00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:13,399 Speaker 3: and that he didn't care what kind of music I 464 00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:16,040 Speaker 3: listened to. I don't really get mad over this. It 465 00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:18,879 Speaker 3: more just hurts my feelings. I have thoughts on this 466 00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:22,639 Speaker 3: that are coming up soon. They too contact out of 467 00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:24,560 Speaker 3: the way. We were out at dinner with his friends 468 00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:26,679 Speaker 3: and their girlfriends, and I had left to go to 469 00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:29,560 Speaker 3: the bathroom and come back to him showing them a 470 00:23:29,680 --> 00:23:34,080 Speaker 3: video on his phone, and the audio was familiar right away. 471 00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:37,560 Speaker 3: It was a performance from over a decade ago that 472 00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:44,919 Speaker 3: was panned pretty universally. That was panned pretty universally banned. Yeah, 473 00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:48,200 Speaker 3: I'm guessing that's like kind of hated universally. 474 00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:48,600 Speaker 2: I don't know. 475 00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:51,000 Speaker 3: They were all laughing, and he made a lot of 476 00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:53,159 Speaker 3: jokes until he noticed that I had gone quiet. I 477 00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:55,320 Speaker 3: actually think I know what they're talking about. There was 478 00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:58,040 Speaker 3: an SNL performance. I think of Lena Delray like years ago, 479 00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:01,040 Speaker 3: where her singing was like completely off key or something. 480 00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:03,240 Speaker 3: Oh really, I think so, I think I'm remembering that. 481 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:06,240 Speaker 3: I'm a big Bondle Deel Bay fan over here. So 482 00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:09,159 Speaker 3: till he noticed I had gone quiet and said to 483 00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:12,680 Speaker 3: lighten up. I tried to smile, but he wouldn't drop 484 00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:15,399 Speaker 3: it and said, I don't like your music either, but 485 00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:16,959 Speaker 3: I would never make fun of you for it. 486 00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:17,840 Speaker 2: You know that. 487 00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:20,359 Speaker 3: It was a very quiet meal and ride home and 488 00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:22,919 Speaker 3: he is now barely talking to me. Two of the 489 00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:25,919 Speaker 3: girlfriends there said I made everything awkward, and then I 490 00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,960 Speaker 3: was being unfair because we always made jokes with each other. 491 00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:32,119 Speaker 3: Am I the a hole? There's relevant comments. There is 492 00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:35,800 Speaker 3: a fat, juicy update two months later. Two months later, 493 00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:39,240 Speaker 3: but we have to stop here real quick. First off, 494 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:41,000 Speaker 3: is OPI the a hole. 495 00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:47,920 Speaker 1: For saying that, Yes, it seems like she reached a 496 00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:52,280 Speaker 1: little bit of a breaking point. Maybe yeah, but generally 497 00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:55,960 Speaker 1: I don't think it is. And I understand she reached 498 00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:58,639 Speaker 1: a breaking point, but generally the best way to communicate 499 00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:00,720 Speaker 1: is not in like a public setting out of like 500 00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:05,439 Speaker 1: a case of anger. I think if you feel transgressed, 501 00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:12,959 Speaker 1: the ideal situation is to talk about it privately. Yeah, 502 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:16,800 Speaker 1: there's a there's this quote that I heard recently from 503 00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:19,080 Speaker 1: I think it was from the show that we went 504 00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:22,159 Speaker 1: to the red carpet That wasn't a red carpet, but 505 00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:25,560 Speaker 1: he was like, he was like, praise in public discipline 506 00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:28,800 Speaker 1: in private, And I kind I kind of mess with that. 507 00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:30,720 Speaker 2: Kind of a bar, kind of a bar kind of 508 00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:31,080 Speaker 2: a bar. 509 00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:34,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that everyone's a little bit the a 510 00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:39,640 Speaker 3: hole here because of him constantly ragging her and then 511 00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:42,720 Speaker 3: her kind of like snapping back that hard, which again 512 00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:44,640 Speaker 3: I think she reached a breaking point. But it's like, okay, 513 00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:47,680 Speaker 3: better down in private. I have a question for you two. 514 00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:50,720 Speaker 3: I feel like, and there's got to be some sort 515 00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:52,520 Speaker 3: of golden rule or something with this. I feel like 516 00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:55,960 Speaker 3: in every relationship, if it's you know, you get deep enough, 517 00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,320 Speaker 3: you have years years in the game of a relationship, 518 00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:02,280 Speaker 3: each side will have some thing where they don't fully understand, 519 00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:04,919 Speaker 3: like they're like, Okay, maybe I don't think it's that 520 00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:07,399 Speaker 3: big of a deal, but because I love you and 521 00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:09,600 Speaker 3: I respect you, and I want you to feel valued 522 00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:14,240 Speaker 3: and have your feelings validated, I am absolutely one thousand 523 00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,960 Speaker 3: percent on board with you know in this case, you know, 524 00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:20,679 Speaker 3: not making fun of Lona del Rey. You know, maybe 525 00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:23,879 Speaker 3: maybe I don't fully get it, and maybe Opie doesn't 526 00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:26,399 Speaker 3: fully get it, but like he should still respect his 527 00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:27,520 Speaker 3: girlfriend's feelings. 528 00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:32,200 Speaker 1: And also like she is such a big fan. Yeah, 529 00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:35,040 Speaker 1: like it's it's kind of identity. Yeah, exactly. I was 530 00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:36,800 Speaker 1: about to say that it's like a core part of 531 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:40,920 Speaker 1: her identity, and I think because it's a core part 532 00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:44,399 Speaker 1: of her identity, it hurts a lot more when he 533 00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:47,440 Speaker 1: makes fun of it. And I don't know if he 534 00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:53,640 Speaker 1: is realizing how much that artist means to her, And 535 00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:55,480 Speaker 1: I think that that might be a blind spot on 536 00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:55,880 Speaker 1: his part. 537 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:59,680 Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't think he's behaving necessarily. Well, I don't 538 00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:02,960 Speaker 4: think you should make fun of anything that your partner 539 00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:07,800 Speaker 4: likes in a group setting. Yeah, like at the expense 540 00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:10,720 Speaker 4: of your partner. It's not like, huh, this it's so 541 00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:15,520 Speaker 4: funny that she has this obsession with bonileel Day, Like, 542 00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:16,719 Speaker 4: isn't that so funny? 543 00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:17,240 Speaker 2: Uh huh. 544 00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:22,679 Speaker 4: But it's not that it's like she's like she's dumb 545 00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:23,800 Speaker 4: for thinking that way. 546 00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:26,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, kind of, because imagine if any of. 547 00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:30,760 Speaker 3: Our partners just like crapping on our biggest musical influences, 548 00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:32,840 Speaker 3: that would. 549 00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:34,120 Speaker 2: That would rub me the wrong. 550 00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:37,959 Speaker 1: Way, Yeah, a lot, especially because I feel like music 551 00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:40,560 Speaker 1: often is so much more than just like, oh I 552 00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:43,560 Speaker 1: like this song. It's like this artist helped me get 553 00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:46,600 Speaker 1: through a time of my life, or this artist inspired 554 00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:49,720 Speaker 1: me to in some ways become who I am today. 555 00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:52,000 Speaker 1: I think there's like a lot of people that that 556 00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:54,800 Speaker 1: feel like that I'm sure you feel like that about 557 00:27:54,880 --> 00:28:00,359 Speaker 1: some of your artists, and I feel like I just 558 00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:03,840 Speaker 1: don't think the boyfriend understands that, and definitely a little 559 00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:06,719 Speaker 1: bit the A hole. I don't think OP is the 560 00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:10,600 Speaker 1: A hole, but I do think maybe she handled it 561 00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:15,959 Speaker 1: in a way that wasn't the most elegant solution, So 562 00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:18,640 Speaker 1: like tinge of a hole, but like I think justified 563 00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:19,000 Speaker 1: a whole. 564 00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:22,840 Speaker 4: I justified in that, like he's apparently done this before, 565 00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:25,239 Speaker 4: and maybe in her mind the only way to get 566 00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:27,720 Speaker 4: him to stop is to sort of expose it at 567 00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:31,040 Speaker 4: the source when it's happening, to sort of make him 568 00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:33,240 Speaker 4: feel that sort of oh, you have to drop it 569 00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:36,399 Speaker 4: because they mentioned that, Like, yeah, I tell him, and 570 00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:38,959 Speaker 4: then two months later he does it again. Yeah, And 571 00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:41,920 Speaker 4: so if that just keeps happening, then we have seen 572 00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:42,400 Speaker 4: that before. 573 00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:46,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, but there's some relevant comments that might have some 574 00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:50,640 Speaker 3: relevant context. Virtual Equivalent twenty seven says, not the a hole. 575 00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:53,920 Speaker 3: Isn't it interesting how someone says or does something hurtful 576 00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:57,280 Speaker 3: and once the other person reacts badly, they start going 577 00:28:57,280 --> 00:28:59,040 Speaker 3: on about how it was just a joke and you're 578 00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:00,200 Speaker 3: a bore for not getting it. 579 00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:02,000 Speaker 2: Jokes are supposed to be funny. 580 00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:03,880 Speaker 3: You told him several Yeah, so if you're gonna if 581 00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:06,680 Speaker 3: you're gonna torture someone, and at least make it witty. 582 00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:10,000 Speaker 3: You told him several times you are not comfortable with 583 00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:12,920 Speaker 3: him poking at your favorite artist, which is understandable. He 584 00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:15,000 Speaker 3: promises he won't do it anymore, and then he breaks 585 00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:17,160 Speaker 3: his promise time and time again. He knows how it 586 00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:19,480 Speaker 3: bothers you, and he just doesn't care. And the fact 587 00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:22,040 Speaker 3: that you have fan accounts and tattoos inspired by your 588 00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:27,320 Speaker 3: favorite artist doesn't justify him disrespecting your wishes and Boeing 589 00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:30,840 Speaker 3: three sixty seven eighty says, I read these and do 590 00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:34,320 Speaker 3: not understand why the OP is with their partner. It's 591 00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:37,920 Speaker 3: so obviously grossly disrespectful. I wonder how bad her self 592 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:39,920 Speaker 3: esteem must be to put up with this for even 593 00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:45,000 Speaker 3: a second. Going straight for the jugular, there's a bystander. 594 00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:48,560 Speaker 3: This guy's an ass. Do yourself a favor and move 595 00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:52,400 Speaker 3: on super quick before we get into this juicy update. 596 00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:55,800 Speaker 3: Two months later h two months later, number one OP, 597 00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:56,080 Speaker 3: he was. 598 00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:56,960 Speaker 2: Judge, not the Ahle. 599 00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:01,520 Speaker 3: Number two. Do we think there's gonna be a breakup? 600 00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:02,440 Speaker 3: Anthony Sam? 601 00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:07,200 Speaker 1: I feel like if she recognizes her self worth then potentially, 602 00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:10,720 Speaker 1: but it also it's like, you know, we don't understand 603 00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:14,080 Speaker 1: the whole context of relationship. Maybe everything is great outside 604 00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:17,760 Speaker 1: of this one thing, but if this is the embodiment, 605 00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:20,880 Speaker 1: it's of their relationship. And like she says, they have 606 00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:23,560 Speaker 1: a culture of in the relationship of making fun of 607 00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:25,920 Speaker 1: each other, it might just be that it's a little 608 00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:27,280 Speaker 1: toxic too. 609 00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:29,920 Speaker 2: And so if it's a little toxic and. 610 00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:33,840 Speaker 1: They're just kind of not uh, there's a culture of 611 00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:36,240 Speaker 1: basically putting each other down for the things that they're 612 00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:39,960 Speaker 1: genuinely interested in. That is not a relationship that you 613 00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:43,120 Speaker 1: should be in unless there's serious work done. 614 00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:43,920 Speaker 2: Anthony. 615 00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:46,480 Speaker 4: You know, I want to know if these people are 616 00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:51,080 Speaker 4: actually funny, you know, because they're saying they're joking around, 617 00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:55,280 Speaker 4: but like a good joke almost never like hurts any 618 00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:59,400 Speaker 4: specific person's like feelings. It's like, like that's not a 619 00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:02,400 Speaker 4: joke that it's just like you being insecure, you know, 620 00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:05,760 Speaker 4: like a joke can lift people up but also sort 621 00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:07,680 Speaker 4: of nag somebody because if it's. 622 00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:09,480 Speaker 3: Done, the presumption is if it's done the right way, 623 00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:10,800 Speaker 3: everyone's laughing. 624 00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:11,880 Speaker 2: Together, yeah, everybody. 625 00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:14,400 Speaker 4: If everybody's not laughing and then it's not a good 626 00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:16,920 Speaker 4: joke unless you're trying to be a controversial on a 627 00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:20,680 Speaker 4: like stand up comedy stage, you know, a better com 628 00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:28,480 Speaker 4: I just don't think the jokeiness justifies the hurt feelings. 629 00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:33,400 Speaker 3: I think I agree, But two months later, a lot 630 00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:35,800 Speaker 3: of people private messaged me and helped me work through 631 00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:43,680 Speaker 3: everything regarding mine now x oh boom, good done, good 632 00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:46,440 Speaker 3: neat though, including being a shoulder to cry, and when 633 00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:48,680 Speaker 3: I realized it wasn't going to work out, and I 634 00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:50,680 Speaker 3: guess I felt I owed them an update if they 635 00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:53,320 Speaker 3: were interested. Not to mention the great advice I received 636 00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:55,920 Speaker 3: in the comments on the original post, I am deeply 637 00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:58,240 Speaker 3: thankful for so many of them. A few in particular 638 00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:00,880 Speaker 3: who disagreed with my take also helped me to see 639 00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:03,200 Speaker 3: where he may have been coming from and helped me 640 00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:04,720 Speaker 3: to figure out how I was going to talk to 641 00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:08,600 Speaker 3: him about everything. So I did apologize for bringing it 642 00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:11,320 Speaker 3: up publicly. I know that many people disagreed with me 643 00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:14,360 Speaker 3: that I should, but personally, I've always been the type 644 00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:17,320 Speaker 3: to want to handle any grievances I may have with 645 00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:22,160 Speaker 3: a loved one privately, literally exactly what Sam was saying earlier, 646 00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:25,000 Speaker 3: rather than publicly, and I didn't like the fact that 647 00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:27,520 Speaker 3: I allowed myself to break that rule around his friends. 648 00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:28,040 Speaker 2: Less. 649 00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:30,160 Speaker 3: He thanked me for that, but didn't really want to 650 00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:31,920 Speaker 3: dig into why he felt the need to make a 651 00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,120 Speaker 3: joke out of it. I asked if it was because 652 00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:37,240 Speaker 3: I had been bringing up her slash for music more 653 00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:40,760 Speaker 3: than usual due to her being more active in the 654 00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:44,760 Speaker 3: media currently, but he denied this. Still, I continue to press, 655 00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:47,480 Speaker 3: explaining that we needed to move past this one way 656 00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:50,080 Speaker 3: or another, because if he continued to mock Slash ridicule 657 00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:53,200 Speaker 3: my interests, it was going to make me slowly resent him, 658 00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:57,040 Speaker 3: something I really didn't want but couldn't deny what happen 659 00:32:57,400 --> 00:32:59,280 Speaker 3: if he continued to act like a bully. 660 00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:01,560 Speaker 2: That's some direct communication. 661 00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:07,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, we're getting to the roof a boundairy boundairees well, 662 00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:11,360 Speaker 3: let's squeeze the teat of truth here from these boundaries. Eventually, 663 00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:16,400 Speaker 3: after a lot of pressure, the teat of truth was squeezztraw. 664 00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:19,280 Speaker 2: He explained that. 665 00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:21,680 Speaker 3: This had all started because he had complained to his 666 00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:26,000 Speaker 3: friends privately about me last year during the lead up 667 00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:28,240 Speaker 3: to her new album release. 668 00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:30,400 Speaker 2: And they didn't like. 669 00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:32,440 Speaker 3: The fact that I was a fan of this artist 670 00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:36,720 Speaker 3: and made some political assumptions about her based on her 671 00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:39,640 Speaker 3: lyrical content from over ten years ago. 672 00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:42,120 Speaker 2: This is the plot is thickening. 673 00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:44,640 Speaker 1: I'm not a fan, but I'm gonna analyze all of 674 00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:48,160 Speaker 1: her songs in the last ten years and see what 675 00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:49,960 Speaker 1: her political affiliations might be. 676 00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:53,520 Speaker 3: They're putting together the Lana del Rey exposed video, but 677 00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:56,760 Speaker 3: just for the friend group. They are not even for clicks. 678 00:33:56,880 --> 00:33:59,560 Speaker 3: I feel like they're they're kind of fans in a way. 679 00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:02,280 Speaker 3: They're they're they're haters, but they're they're they're a fan 680 00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:02,760 Speaker 3: of hating. 681 00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:06,800 Speaker 2: Jealousy is just love and hate at the same time. Whoah, 682 00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:13,239 Speaker 2: don't quote me on that. Well too late, guys. I'm 683 00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:20,080 Speaker 2: it's not like a summer but it's a bar okay, John, 684 00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:24,080 Speaker 2: It's not is that it is. 685 00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:28,719 Speaker 3: It is being taken from currently the most alleged surface 686 00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:36,160 Speaker 3: level a rapper currently in the game, but Drake. So 687 00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:38,520 Speaker 3: they were talking about all of this based on her 688 00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:41,400 Speaker 3: lyrical content from over ten years ago, teasing the boyfriend 689 00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:45,480 Speaker 3: for having a wanna be trad wife girlfriend, which I 690 00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:49,520 Speaker 3: have also heard about Wanda what she has made some 691 00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:51,520 Speaker 3: I think like even outside of the music, some like 692 00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:57,160 Speaker 3: more like conservative, like traditional woman values or something something 693 00:34:57,200 --> 00:35:01,839 Speaker 3: along those lines like like what like uh like in 694 00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:04,120 Speaker 3: the veins of like, oh, the woman should stay at 695 00:35:04,160 --> 00:35:06,880 Speaker 3: home and like do that not like her songs, not 696 00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:10,520 Speaker 3: literally that, but kind of people thought she had that kind. 697 00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:12,719 Speaker 2: Of vibe about her. But the people thought, I don't 698 00:35:12,719 --> 00:35:14,359 Speaker 2: even know what it was about. But I have heard 699 00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:16,120 Speaker 2: that sentiment about. 700 00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:19,200 Speaker 4: Her women should stay at home while I make a 701 00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:23,680 Speaker 4: million dollars during the country, yes, and performing as an 702 00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:24,520 Speaker 4: independent woman. 703 00:35:24,719 --> 00:35:25,800 Speaker 2: And people didn't like that. 704 00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:28,640 Speaker 4: That doesn't make sense to kind of have mean no, 705 00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:31,120 Speaker 4: but I don't know if that's actually how she feels. 706 00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:33,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't. I literally don't even know what it 707 00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:36,440 Speaker 3: was they said that caused the sentiment. I only have 708 00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:37,480 Speaker 3: heard that sentiment. 709 00:35:37,560 --> 00:35:39,279 Speaker 2: It could be that she's like wandering. 710 00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:41,720 Speaker 1: It could be like, you know how like country singers 711 00:35:41,719 --> 00:35:43,960 Speaker 1: were like, bom, I'm in the back of mount truck 712 00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:49,200 Speaker 1: and like and like trying to pander to uh, like 713 00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:51,879 Speaker 1: like a certain demographic that they are not a part of. 714 00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:54,240 Speaker 2: While they're driving a lamb. Yeah, while they're driving a lamba. 715 00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:56,800 Speaker 1: It could be that could be just like totally pandering 716 00:35:56,840 --> 00:35:58,920 Speaker 1: to Gardner's specific audience. 717 00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:02,239 Speaker 3: That's true because I would say her general audience is 718 00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:07,759 Speaker 3: not that, or at least it's a it's missignment with 719 00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:11,680 Speaker 3: I digress. They were teasing my boyfriend for having a 720 00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:13,680 Speaker 3: want to be tried wife, girlfriend, and other things that 721 00:36:13,719 --> 00:36:16,520 Speaker 3: he was resentful of, including but not limited to, asking 722 00:36:16,560 --> 00:36:18,880 Speaker 3: if I had daddy issues or if I had a 723 00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:24,240 Speaker 3: history of sleeping with older men. I am heavily sanitizing 724 00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:26,839 Speaker 3: the language used because some of it what was said 725 00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:32,480 Speaker 3: was disgusting. Honestly, I'm like, cut out the friends. That 726 00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:33,919 Speaker 3: is a crazy assumption to make. 727 00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:40,080 Speaker 2: They're friends, right? Or another his friends right? Yes? Yeah? Yeah? 728 00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:42,480 Speaker 2: Are they her friends too? Not sure? 729 00:36:43,239 --> 00:36:46,240 Speaker 3: So basically it boiled down to him trying to shame 730 00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:49,920 Speaker 3: me into not liking the artist anymore so he wouldn't 731 00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:53,319 Speaker 3: have to deal with his friends anymore, rather than just 732 00:36:53,360 --> 00:36:58,600 Speaker 3: shutting them down. Now I feel like I finally arrived 733 00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:03,160 Speaker 3: at the truth, which is whack whack. But I couldn't 734 00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:06,040 Speaker 3: be in a relationship like that. I just couldn't. The 735 00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:08,360 Speaker 3: fact that every time I had felt awful about myself 736 00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:10,640 Speaker 3: and my interest for the past year and just thought 737 00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:14,040 Speaker 3: I was being oversensitive to a joke, it was actually 738 00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:18,120 Speaker 3: the point to make me feel bad. It destroyed any 739 00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:19,520 Speaker 3: hope I had for the relationship. 740 00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:21,680 Speaker 2: I won't lie. I've been pretty heartbroken. 741 00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:24,799 Speaker 3: The breakup was shortly after the first post, and I've 742 00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:28,600 Speaker 3: just gotten around to updating. So yeah, no big blowout 743 00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:31,919 Speaker 3: with dramatics, no secret affair or anything. Just a man 744 00:37:32,120 --> 00:37:34,400 Speaker 3: trying to make me feel small because he didn't know 745 00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:37,920 Speaker 3: how to tell his friends the piss off. Boring but 746 00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:40,320 Speaker 3: depressing a f. 747 00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:43,960 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Op, that sucks, but also good good for 748 00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:45,640 Speaker 1: you because you need to leave this good for you. 749 00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:49,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I think that was the move. 750 00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:51,239 Speaker 3: That's true, that the truth was exposed, and good on 751 00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:55,600 Speaker 3: Op for continuing to drive down communication lane. 752 00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:57,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, which she arrived at her destiny. 753 00:37:57,280 --> 00:38:02,279 Speaker 1: Like again, probably in writing this out she realized how 754 00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:05,520 Speaker 1: bad it was, like, I I love that that that's 755 00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:07,719 Speaker 1: kind of like what it takes to recognize you're in 756 00:38:07,719 --> 00:38:08,520 Speaker 1: a bad situation. 757 00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:12,839 Speaker 3: Yes, yes, And then that the people's comments spurred her 758 00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:15,280 Speaker 3: to have the conversation and that's what finally 759 00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:17,120 Speaker 2: Truth