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Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you need

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Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please

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Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter.

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Speaker 1: This could be your letter. We could be reading it

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Speaker 1: live on the air. You never know, it could be yours.

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Speaker 1: So write us, Okay, So write us right yeah, buckalo

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Speaker 1: you hold on tight. We got it for you. Here

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Speaker 1: it is Strawberry Letter. Thank you, nephew. Subject, what's so

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Speaker 1: darned funny? Okay, Dear Stephen Shirley, I've been married for

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Speaker 1: eighteen years and I'm dating a younger lady on the side.

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Speaker 1: I know what you're thinking, but my wife stopped having

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Speaker 1: sex with me two years ago, and she got smart

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Speaker 1: during an argument and told me I could do whatever

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Speaker 1: I needed to do on the side because she didn't

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Speaker 1: want me anymore. It hurt like heck, but I moved

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Speaker 1: on and met someone new. My side chick is married,

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Speaker 1: but she and her husband have been living apart for

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Speaker 1: four years. I'm fifty five and my girlfriend is thirty five.

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Speaker 1: She's tall and thick with a tiny waist. It was

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Speaker 1: love at first sight, and I wanted nothing more than

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Speaker 1: to make her mind. We didn't rush into sex because

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Speaker 1: I haven't been with another woman since I met my

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Speaker 1: wife twenty two years ago. When we finally had sex recently,

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Speaker 1: I admitted I was nervous. She thought it was sweet,

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Speaker 1: and she jokingly said she'd take good care of me.

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Speaker 1: When I kissed her neck, she giggled. When I rubbed

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Speaker 1: her skin, she giggled. Every new position she giggled. I

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Speaker 1: thought I was showing out, but every few seconds she giggled.

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Speaker 1: I looked down at her. She had tears in her

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Speaker 1: eyes from all the laughing. I asked her what was

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Speaker 1: so darned funny, and she said she can tell I

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Speaker 1: have been married a long time. I was offended, but

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Speaker 1: I played it off and I let her take control.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't expecting what came next, and she had me

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Speaker 1: holding on for dear life. I got caught up in

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Speaker 1: her long legs and couldn't breathe at one point. Since

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Speaker 1: that night, she's been teasing me about wanting more. I

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Speaker 1: don't have the confidence to do it again. Am I

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Speaker 1: out of my league here? Or should I keep trying? Okay,

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Speaker 1: let me get this straight. Let me just get this straight.

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Speaker 1: For a second, you are asking, you were asking Steve

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Speaker 1: and I to help you be a better lover for

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Speaker 1: your side piece. Okay, I mean, is it over over

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Speaker 1: between you and your wife? And I guess according to

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Speaker 1: you it is. But you guys did try to make it.

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Speaker 1: You didn't try to make it work anymore after this,

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Speaker 1: right because your wife practically gave you away when she

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Speaker 1: said she didn't want you anymore and for you to

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Speaker 1: do whatever you needed to do on the side that

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Speaker 1: was like a permanent hall pass. I'm sure that hurt,

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Speaker 1: like you said it did, and it's been two years.

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Speaker 1: So what I don't get is why you guys didn't

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Speaker 1: just get a divorce. I mean, do you still do

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Speaker 1: things together? You just don't have sex. It sounds pretty complicated.

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Speaker 1: You're legally married but living single, and this sounds like

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Speaker 1: it's working for you. I mean, you must have some

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Speaker 1: sort of understanding or arrangement going on here, and your

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Speaker 1: girlfriend must too. I don't know. Anyway, fast forward to

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Speaker 1: the sidepiece. You may not have a confidence to do

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Speaker 1: it again, but she sure wants you to do it again.

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Speaker 1: She wants you to do it again with her, so

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Speaker 1: that should gets your self esteem, your confidence up a

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Speaker 1: bit right. Obviously she crushed your ego with all the

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Speaker 1: giggles and everything, but she didn't stop. She didn't leave you,

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Speaker 1: she didn't make fun of you. She didn't even tell

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Speaker 1: you to go back to your wife. So she's obvious.

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Speaker 1: She obviously liked something about you, and maybe she can

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Speaker 1: teach you a few things. So now the ball's in

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Speaker 1: your court. What are you gonna do? Steve? Who girl?

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Speaker 1: This letter here? What is so damn funny? Well, I'm

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Speaker 1: the man for this letter right here. Nice try, Shelly,

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Speaker 1: good Christian answers. They ain't what this letter is about.

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Speaker 1: This ain't about no can your madge workout? Could y'all

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Speaker 1: talking through the y'all still do things together? That is

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Speaker 1: not what this is about. Oh, I have found the

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Speaker 1: secret in this letter. The subject is what is so

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Speaker 1: damn funny? That's what this letter about. The hell you

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Speaker 1: laughing at, That's what the letter is about. I'm in

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Speaker 1: here with all, I'm giving it all I got. The

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Speaker 1: hell is so damn funny. So now let's talk about

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Speaker 1: this because here what happened? This man been married for

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Speaker 1: eighteen years, you're dating this younger girl on the side,

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Speaker 1: you know, and I ain't gonna talk to China. I

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Speaker 1: know you know what you're thinking. But my wife stopped

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Speaker 1: having set for me two years ago. She got smart

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Speaker 1: in an argument told me I could do what hell

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Speaker 1: I need to do on the side because she won't

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Speaker 1: meet no more. Okay, now I'm will show you something.

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Speaker 1: It hurt like hell, but I move on and I

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Speaker 1: met somebody knew my side chick is married. Now this

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Speaker 1: is critical information now, but she and her husband had

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Speaker 1: been living apart for four years. So now let's let's

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Speaker 1: do the math. Hill his man been married eighteen years.

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Speaker 1: His wife told him two years ago she don't want

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Speaker 1: to have sex. We know, told him to get something

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Speaker 1: on the side, Gonna do what he want to do.

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Speaker 1: He meets his side chick that what that is married,

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Speaker 1: but has been living apart from her man for four years.

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Speaker 1: I'm fifty five, My girlfriend thirty five. She tall and

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Speaker 1: thick with a tiny waist. Love at first sight. I

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Speaker 1: wanted nothing more to make her mind. She ain't rushing

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Speaker 1: this sex because I hadn't been seeing a woman since

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Speaker 1: I met my wife twenty two years ago. Another key

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Speaker 1: piece of information. Here we go when we finally had

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Speaker 1: sex recently, I admitted I was nervous when we finally

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Speaker 1: had sex. I was nervous. She thought it was sweet,

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Speaker 1: and she said jokingly she would take good care of me.

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Speaker 1: That's not that's a warning. That wasn't. Actually, that was

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Speaker 1: a warning. When I kissed her neck, she giggled. When

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Speaker 1: I rubbed her skin, she giggled. Every new position she giggled.

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Speaker 1: I thought I was showing out, but every few seconds

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Speaker 1: she giggled. I looked down at her. She had tears

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Speaker 1: in her eyes from all it laughing. I asked her,

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Speaker 1: what was so damn funny? Hold on, hold that thought, Steve.

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Speaker 1: We'll have part two of your response coming up in

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Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after the hour. You're gonna find out

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Speaker 1: what's so darned funny when we come back right after this.

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Speaker 1: You're listening, all right? Come on, Steve, let's recap today's

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Speaker 1: strawberry letter. The subject is is what's so done funny? Now?

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Speaker 1: I'm never taking this long down in the letter. I'm

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Speaker 1: three fourth through with the letter before I have made

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Speaker 1: a point. But let me just do a recap so

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Speaker 1: you can understand this fifty five year old man. It's

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Speaker 1: dating a thirty three year old chick on the side

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Speaker 1: from his wife, who he's been married to eighteen years,

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Speaker 1: but for the past two years they haven't had sex.

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Speaker 1: She told him go do it. He won't. She don't

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Speaker 1: want him anymore. The side chick has been living separate

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Speaker 1: from her husband, separated for four years. He met her

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Speaker 1: long legs, smallways, pretty face, fell in love at first sight,

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Speaker 1: wanted her, but he hadn't had sex with another woman

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Speaker 1: in eighteen twenty two years. She said, it's okay, I

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Speaker 1: take care of you. I consider it at a warning,

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Speaker 1: but he don't know that because he been with nobody

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Speaker 1: else in twenty two years. He kissed on the next

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Speaker 1: she started laughing. He rubber skin, She started laughing, touch

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Speaker 1: her feet, laughing. Every time he flipped to a new position,

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Speaker 1: she laughing. He looked down. She got tears in her

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Speaker 1: eyes from all the laughing. I asked her what was

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Speaker 1: so damn funny? And she could said, She said, I

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Speaker 1: can tell you've been married a long time. Well, the

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Speaker 1: question of the letter is what is so damn funny?

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Speaker 1: And the answer, you, your asswer, is what she laughing at?

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Speaker 1: I tell you what's so damn funny? First of all.

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Speaker 1: That's why your wife told you she laughing at your

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Speaker 1: little sex moves, and she laughing at all the little

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Speaker 1: stuff you trying. That's why your wife told you two

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Speaker 1: years ago, don't touch her, no damn more. And you

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Speaker 1: can go do what you wanna do, because your ass

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Speaker 1: ain't frying. No bacon up in here like I like

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Speaker 1: mine extra crispy, and you in here serving up all

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Speaker 1: this raw ass bacon. Your grief ain't even hot. So

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Speaker 1: now then she to put you out. Now, you gotta

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Speaker 1: look at who you're dating. This woman had to put

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Speaker 1: this thing only. And you don't know what to do now,

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Speaker 1: you said in the letter, I was offended and played

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Speaker 1: it off, and I let her take control. I wasn't

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Speaker 1: expecting what came next. She had me holding on for

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Speaker 1: dear life. I got caught up in her long legs

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Speaker 1: and couldn't breathe at one point, NA wanna know what

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Speaker 1: happened right there. That's why she been separated for four years,

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Speaker 1: because she too much you, too much for one man,

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Speaker 1: but not enough for two. That's a beer with her song.

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Speaker 1: She in her bone crushing men walking, break it off.

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Speaker 1: You getting stuff happening to you? You ain't never had before.

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Speaker 1: You scared you in that scared she in that too much.

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Speaker 1: She over experienced. That's why her husband had left her

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Speaker 1: for four years. He's somewhere trying to pull hisself together.

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Speaker 1: Your wife don't want you because you don't know what

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Speaker 1: your ass is doing. You fifty five. I don't know

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Speaker 1: what made you think you could do this, thirty five

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Speaker 1: year old girl. Your wife didn't want it no more.

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Speaker 1: She don't want it now. This is what this letters about. Dog.

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Speaker 1: So now listen to me. You said since that night,

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Speaker 1: she's been teasing me about wanting more. I don't have

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Speaker 1: a confidence to do it again. And I'm am I

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Speaker 1: out of my league here? Or should I keep trying? Now?

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Speaker 1: Problem way out your knee. You're a bit off moting.

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Speaker 1: You can choot and you can't choot baby girl because

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Speaker 1: the baby girl is a man eater. She's a man

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Speaker 1: she's a man eater. Yeah see, they wrote songs about

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Speaker 1: everything back then. You did in love with a man either,

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Speaker 1: and you ain't got nothing to eat called your ass

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Speaker 1: is inadequate, you sing o't? Are you all that old

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Speaker 1: baby kissing on the net? She don't want that rubbing

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Speaker 1: her skin flip over and watch this. You let her

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Speaker 1: take control. She locked your mucke ass up. You didn't

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Speaker 1: know where I can't read what you do. Ay me,

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Speaker 1: this is too much. Let it go stop, let it

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Speaker 1: go check your punk asser. Yeah, now listen to me.

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Speaker 1: This is ain't not gonna work out for you. Dog.

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Speaker 1: You need to stop this right now. Now, what you're

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Speaker 1: gonna have to do is you're gonna have to do

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Speaker 1: some practice. But you're fifty five. You ain't got any

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Speaker 1: tank what you had, so now you gotta do selective practice.

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Speaker 1: That's something I read a long time ago that a

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Speaker 1: man has a certain amount of pleasure explosions, let's call

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Speaker 1: it uh huh in his lifetime. At fifty five, you

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Speaker 1: are on the cusp of running a little low on

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Speaker 1: the number you got left, so you need to be

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Speaker 1: most selective. The man eater is gonna snatch yours from you,

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Speaker 1: and you ain't gonna have none left you already. Sorry,

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Speaker 1: the two women you've been with laughing. Your wife then

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Speaker 1: told you to get somebody on the side because she

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Speaker 1: don't even want it, no bo. And now the man

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Speaker 1: eat it an h up one time and said let's

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Speaker 1: just try it again, and you ain't got the confidence

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Speaker 1: you sho doing. She's doing everything, She's doing everything. He

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Speaker 1: ain't doing nothing. All right here in the corner skin

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Speaker 1: he trimmling and shook the blanket over in the corner

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Speaker 1: and pull it over his little naked head bollet just

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Speaker 1: sucking his thumb. I don't know what to did. Post

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Speaker 1: your comments on today Strawberry Letter and Steve Harve and

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Speaker 1: check out the Strawberry Letters podcast on demand now coming

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Speaker 1: up at forty six minutes that to the hour. We

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Speaker 1: got Junior up now with Sports Talk. Right after this,

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Speaker 1: you're listening to the Stave Harvey Morning Show