1 00:00:01,280 --> 00:00:04,640 Speaker 1: Hello, Hey there, Hi, Hi. What's your name? Him is 2 00:00:04,760 --> 00:00:06,960 Speaker 1: Jai Jai Ji? 3 00:00:08,360 --> 00:00:08,559 Speaker 2: Yes? 4 00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:10,280 Speaker 1: How old are you? 5 00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:12,680 Speaker 3: Ji? I'm twenty two? 6 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,560 Speaker 1: Rock and roll Ji. What's what's going on? How you doing? 7 00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:20,800 Speaker 3: I don't I know, man. I think you saw what 8 00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:24,720 Speaker 3: I said in my text message. But over the past 9 00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:30,440 Speaker 3: two years I've lost over forty thousand dollars just from 10 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:37,600 Speaker 3: wanting to wanting to buy people's affection. I guess because 11 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:40,080 Speaker 3: I didn't really have a good time making I didn't 12 00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:42,920 Speaker 3: really have an opportunity making Brighton's growing up, so I 13 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,440 Speaker 3: thought that was the best possible way to do it. 14 00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:44,760 Speaker 3: I guess. 15 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:46,280 Speaker 2: Mmmm. 16 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:52,680 Speaker 1: Okay, so tell me, I guess, go ahead and start 17 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:55,800 Speaker 1: telling me about this from from whatever angle you want 18 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:56,279 Speaker 1: to start at. 19 00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:04,360 Speaker 3: Okay. So, two years ago, I had received a trust 20 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:09,840 Speaker 3: from my grandmother, who I'm pretty sure was like patient 21 00:01:09,959 --> 00:01:16,040 Speaker 3: zero of COVID. That's neither here nor there. Yeah, I 22 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:20,360 Speaker 3: received the trust of just under one hundred thousand dollars 23 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:21,959 Speaker 3: that was supposed to be going to. 24 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:23,840 Speaker 4: School, and. 25 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:28,960 Speaker 3: It didn't. Over forty to fifty thousand dollars of it 26 00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:34,600 Speaker 3: actually went into just fribble as shit and making a 27 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:37,120 Speaker 3: whole bunch of friends through Tinder, and all bunch of 28 00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:41,759 Speaker 3: friends that I don't know didn't really have the best 29 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:45,400 Speaker 3: intention for me, and I wanted to keep them around 30 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:50,080 Speaker 3: by buying them gifts and taking them on strips. And 31 00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:55,640 Speaker 3: now none of those friends are still my friends. So 32 00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:58,240 Speaker 3: I don't really know how much that was worth. 33 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:05,880 Speaker 1: And how long have you been using trying to use 34 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:07,040 Speaker 1: money to make friends? 35 00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:13,520 Speaker 3: And I got that money. I had grown up very poor, 36 00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:16,320 Speaker 3: and so the most money that I've ever had to 37 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:21,840 Speaker 3: myself was the four thousand dollars COVID stimulus check, and 38 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:26,040 Speaker 3: I didn't really spend that money well either, And so 39 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:32,880 Speaker 3: when I got this humungo check of seventy three thousand dollars, no, 40 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:35,239 Speaker 3: it's kind of it's kind of game over, I guess. 41 00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:41,640 Speaker 1: So did you have friends growing up? 42 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:47,960 Speaker 3: I wasn't really allowed to. I had a dad who 43 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:53,639 Speaker 3: would basically ostracized me and not allow me to hang 44 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:55,600 Speaker 3: out with any people that I had anything in contact 45 00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:59,960 Speaker 3: or common with, and it put me in a situation 46 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:06,240 Speaker 3: and where even now I'm way more sociable. But it's 47 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:10,960 Speaker 3: kind of like, I don't know how to maintain these friendships, 48 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:13,639 Speaker 3: especially if I don't want to spend money on them. 49 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:16,040 Speaker 3: Because I know that that's the only way that's kind 50 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:17,200 Speaker 3: of worked in the past. 51 00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:21,840 Speaker 1: Hmm. Do you do you still keep in touch with 52 00:03:21,919 --> 00:03:24,079 Speaker 1: your dad? Do you do you know why he did that? 53 00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:31,000 Speaker 3: So, my dad is currently in a hospice for a 54 00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:38,120 Speaker 3: knock sic brain injury. He developed alcoholism and he had 55 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:41,800 Speaker 3: a massive code problem and he fell into a coomo 56 00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:44,000 Speaker 3: because of it and came out not being able to 57 00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:47,960 Speaker 3: speak or feed himself or talk very well. So I 58 00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:49,920 Speaker 3: can go visit him and ask to try to ask 59 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,480 Speaker 3: him why he did all that, but he probably wouldn't 60 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:53,640 Speaker 3: be able to give me a good answer. 61 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:58,600 Speaker 1: So do you at this moment have any friends? At 62 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:00,360 Speaker 1: this moment, do you have any people who you would 63 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:01,200 Speaker 1: consider your friend? 64 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:10,000 Speaker 3: I have a lot of boyfriends, but I I'm I 65 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:17,080 Speaker 3: seek out Uh, I guess only romantic relationships. I don't 66 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:21,800 Speaker 3: really speak out. I guess just friendships. I don't really 67 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:24,680 Speaker 3: know how to do that. Any friends that I did have, 68 00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:26,440 Speaker 3: I don't really do anymore. 69 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:34,840 Speaker 2: M hmm. 70 00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:39,520 Speaker 1: This might be a sensitive question, but and you don't 71 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:40,800 Speaker 1: have to answer if you want. But do you do 72 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:43,760 Speaker 1: you like like in the same way that you feel 73 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:45,640 Speaker 1: like you know you can only get people to be 74 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,440 Speaker 1: friends with you if you pay them. Do you do 75 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:48,559 Speaker 1: you feel that way about sex? 76 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:59,080 Speaker 3: No, not particularly. I wouldn't say so. I kind of 77 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:03,040 Speaker 3: just do it because I can and I know that 78 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:03,520 Speaker 3: it's easy. 79 00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:04,680 Speaker 1: Okay. 80 00:05:07,839 --> 00:05:08,239 Speaker 2: Mmmm. 81 00:05:08,839 --> 00:05:10,200 Speaker 1: Why do you feel like you have an easier time 82 00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:11,599 Speaker 1: with that than with making friends? 83 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:20,840 Speaker 3: Because it's way more I guess mutually beneficial. I don't know, 84 00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:28,280 Speaker 3: Like I it's just easier to talk people into wanting 85 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:32,080 Speaker 3: to do this with me instead of, you know, carrying 86 00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:36,960 Speaker 3: out a whole long term friendship where we're just kind 87 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:39,080 Speaker 3: of talking to each other and nothing's really happening. That's 88 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:40,280 Speaker 3: just the way that works in my mind. I know 89 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:43,960 Speaker 3: that's not like realistically healthy, but like that's just how 90 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:48,000 Speaker 3: it's been because I've only been shown that, you know. 91 00:05:48,839 --> 00:05:51,640 Speaker 1: Mm hmmmm. All right, So you have a lot of boyfriends, 92 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:54,480 Speaker 1: but no like actual friends, and you're you said you're 93 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:58,600 Speaker 1: twenty two? Yes, Uh, what do you do? Are you 94 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:00,160 Speaker 1: in school or you door? 95 00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:07,800 Speaker 3: I was in school. I lost my job right before Christmas, 96 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:14,840 Speaker 3: and I actually recently just moved skates to escape from 97 00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:18,840 Speaker 3: a pretty pretty bad relationship. So I'm kind of just 98 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:21,440 Speaker 3: lingering in a new state right now. 99 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:24,960 Speaker 1: Oh, so you're in a new state, and do you 100 00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:27,040 Speaker 1: do you know anybody in this state? Do you have 101 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:30,080 Speaker 1: any family there? Or are you totally alone? 102 00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:35,520 Speaker 3: I'm staying with family the place where I was living previously, 103 00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:37,320 Speaker 3: I didn't know anyone there, so I guess it's a 104 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:38,440 Speaker 3: little bit of a better situation. 105 00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:48,240 Speaker 1: Mm hmmmmmmm. So I mean, why do you feel like 106 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:51,799 Speaker 1: you can only make friends by giving them money? 107 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:57,920 Speaker 3: Because I, like, I know real estate that I'm I 108 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,200 Speaker 3: don't want to sound like vain, but I know I'm 109 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:04,520 Speaker 3: a really cool person, Like any single time where I 110 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:07,560 Speaker 3: go out to an event, everyone shouldnd to me. But 111 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:11,000 Speaker 3: I think it's the thing where just based on my 112 00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:16,960 Speaker 3: development and based on an autism diagnosis, where I feel 113 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:24,080 Speaker 3: like I cannot maintain these genuine, like non transactional relationships. 114 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:26,640 Speaker 3: I feel like I have to as soon as I 115 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:28,280 Speaker 3: become friends with someone, I have to give them a 116 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:30,400 Speaker 3: gift just to validate, oh, this is how much I 117 00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:32,840 Speaker 3: appreciate you. And then when I never return and get 118 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:35,240 Speaker 3: that in return, it's like maybe I need to give 119 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:38,480 Speaker 3: them another gifts just so they know really how much 120 00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:42,800 Speaker 3: I appreciate them, And then it just it's I don't 121 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:44,880 Speaker 3: I don't really get the logic behind it. It's just 122 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:51,239 Speaker 3: how it works in my head and obviously not working. 123 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:58,000 Speaker 1: So you're initiating giving these people money very early on 124 00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:00,000 Speaker 1: in the relationship. You're giving these gifts. 125 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:07,239 Speaker 3: I guess, yeah, like maybe maybe like two to three 126 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:12,640 Speaker 3: weeks after we first become friends. Especially with people that 127 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:16,680 Speaker 3: I'm dating, it's immediate I'll start getting them gifts. 128 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:18,840 Speaker 1: I was going to ask, does this carry is this 129 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:21,760 Speaker 1: does this activity carry over into like all these boyfriends 130 00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:22,559 Speaker 1: that you're talking about. 131 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:26,760 Speaker 3: Oh, absolutely absolutely. I've probably the majority of the money 132 00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:29,280 Speaker 3: that I've spent has been on boyfriends. 133 00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:30,840 Speaker 2: Hm. Hm. 134 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:35,120 Speaker 1: And you know I asked her already, but I'll ask 135 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:37,880 Speaker 1: you again and maybe we can like examine it a 136 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:43,800 Speaker 1: bit deeper. But like, why do you think you need 137 00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:44,320 Speaker 1: to do this. 138 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:51,400 Speaker 3: Just for the sake of I guess, not being alone. 139 00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:55,360 Speaker 3: I don't know, Like like right now, I was just 140 00:08:55,640 --> 00:08:59,120 Speaker 3: hopping on your screen because I've been just sitting in 141 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:02,839 Speaker 3: my apartment for the past like five days, just like 142 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:06,400 Speaker 3: wanting someone to talk to without having to reach out 143 00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:08,760 Speaker 3: to them first, or you know, just have them and 144 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:12,120 Speaker 3: be like, hey, you know done thinking about you. That 145 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:16,760 Speaker 3: hasn't happened. And so I feel like I have to 146 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:20,439 Speaker 3: just I have to give people reasons to want to 147 00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:29,079 Speaker 3: talk to me, which isn't too cool, motherfucker. I just 148 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:30,839 Speaker 3: I just want people to hang out with me without 149 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:32,040 Speaker 3: having to ask for it first. 150 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:37,240 Speaker 1: Mmm. So, so there's a lot of I want to 151 00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:40,120 Speaker 1: talk about that whole thing, but but I guess i'd 152 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:43,040 Speaker 1: focus for now on like the money thing. Like, do 153 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:47,319 Speaker 1: you do you have a specific example of a relationship. 154 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,920 Speaker 1: Let's start with platonically, do you have a specific like 155 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:53,599 Speaker 1: tell me tell me about the last friendship that you 156 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:59,520 Speaker 1: got into, that you you started to that you know 157 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:02,040 Speaker 1: was going going well, and because it was going well, 158 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:04,000 Speaker 1: you started to feel like, oh I need to buy 159 00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:06,559 Speaker 1: them stuff, Like tell me about a specific one, like 160 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:07,199 Speaker 1: the last time. 161 00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:08,680 Speaker 5: Yeah. 162 00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:12,439 Speaker 3: So it was when I had first moved to Houston. 163 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:15,360 Speaker 3: That was a place that I just moved from, and 164 00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:20,480 Speaker 3: I had this really really close friend that I originally 165 00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:25,120 Speaker 3: met online and then we started talking more in person 166 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:28,240 Speaker 3: and we just became best friends. We hung out every 167 00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:32,520 Speaker 3: single day, and I had saved them from a whole 168 00:10:32,559 --> 00:10:36,040 Speaker 3: bunch of really bad situations considering their mental health whatever. 169 00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:40,920 Speaker 3: But one day I decided that I wanted to make 170 00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:43,240 Speaker 3: a road trip to Austin, which is like a three 171 00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:47,960 Speaker 3: hour drive, and I was like, you know, I usually 172 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:51,880 Speaker 3: go alone on road trips, but I asked my friend 173 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:54,360 Speaker 3: if they wanted to come, and that was kind of 174 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:57,559 Speaker 3: a big deal because I usually never invite people out 175 00:10:57,559 --> 00:11:00,320 Speaker 3: on trips like that. And there's you know, my post 176 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:03,760 Speaker 3: a friend went up and I had to come along. 177 00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:10,360 Speaker 3: I buy essentially every single every single thing on the trip. 178 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:13,520 Speaker 3: I got food, I get any toilet trees that they needed. 179 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:17,840 Speaker 3: I bought the Airbnb, I bought the tickets for all 180 00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:22,599 Speaker 3: of the events that we went to. And when I 181 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:26,079 Speaker 3: asked them, I was like, you know, why did you 182 00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:28,319 Speaker 3: decide to come with me if you don't really have 183 00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:32,760 Speaker 3: any money to do anything with And they were like, 184 00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:36,400 Speaker 3: I mean, honestly, i've been to Austin in a while. 185 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:37,880 Speaker 3: You're just kind of give me a free ride to 186 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:40,720 Speaker 3: Austin and I just wanted to take it. I'm like, Damn, 187 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,559 Speaker 3: that sucks. You didn't even want to gome to like 188 00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:46,199 Speaker 3: experiences with me. You just wanted to like come and 189 00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:49,800 Speaker 3: just fuck off, Like I'm just kind of here like 190 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:51,280 Speaker 3: like a free carpool. 191 00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:51,840 Speaker 1: I guess. 192 00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:57,160 Speaker 3: So, yeah. I had bought them so many gifts on 193 00:11:57,240 --> 00:12:02,440 Speaker 3: that trip. I had probably bought like, maybe over five 194 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:04,520 Speaker 3: hundred dollars with this stuff just on that trip. And 195 00:12:04,559 --> 00:12:06,360 Speaker 3: the trip is only like a day. It was a 196 00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:11,240 Speaker 3: it was a six hour round trip. But yeah, that 197 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,320 Speaker 3: was the one that ends out most in my mind. 198 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:19,400 Speaker 3: That was probably the first instance. And yeah, mm hm. 199 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:21,439 Speaker 2: Hm hmm. 200 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:24,960 Speaker 1: And this is something that's happened to you a few times. 201 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:34,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, mm hmmm. No, I was gonna say, I was. 202 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:36,760 Speaker 3: I know that I'm just getting myself into these situations 203 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:41,839 Speaker 3: because I tend to hang out with pretty pretty much 204 00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:45,199 Speaker 3: the same kind of people. But those are just the 205 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:46,160 Speaker 3: kind of people that I like. 206 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:50,800 Speaker 1: So tell when when you when you tell me, tell 207 00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:53,199 Speaker 1: me what do you mean by those kinds of people? 208 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:53,679 Speaker 2: What are the what? 209 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:55,079 Speaker 1: Who are those kinds of people? 210 00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:58,959 Speaker 3: I hang out at a lot of punk clubs. I 211 00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:03,320 Speaker 3: hang out at a lot of a lot of music 212 00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:07,319 Speaker 3: venue is comedy clubs. I was friends with a lot 213 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:12,120 Speaker 3: of comedians And the nice thing about hanging out with 214 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:14,160 Speaker 3: a lot of comedians is that they always need coke, 215 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:16,000 Speaker 3: and so I would always be the one who bade 216 00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:20,080 Speaker 3: them coke, just so I couldn't want them to fill 217 00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:20,600 Speaker 3: on their set. 218 00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:21,000 Speaker 2: You know. 219 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:26,240 Speaker 3: That's kind of fucked up. But yeah, that's just generally 220 00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:28,520 Speaker 3: people who have issues already. 221 00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:30,959 Speaker 1: Let me ask you this before we keep going. Do 222 00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:32,120 Speaker 1: you have a real therapist? 223 00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:35,400 Speaker 3: I just wanted to talk to you. 224 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,400 Speaker 1: What do they say about this? 225 00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:43,719 Speaker 3: They kind of tell me what I'm already kind of 226 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:47,200 Speaker 3: explaining out loud to myself. I know that I'm getting 227 00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:51,480 Speaker 3: myself into these situations and I shouldn't. If it's a 228 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:54,439 Speaker 3: if it's a friendship that's purely transactional, it's not a 229 00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:58,319 Speaker 3: real friendship. And you know, I totally, I totally understand that. 230 00:13:58,559 --> 00:14:03,400 Speaker 3: But I would rather lose a shit ton of money 231 00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:05,199 Speaker 3: than not be able to talk to people. 232 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:07,719 Speaker 4: So I don't know. 233 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:10,280 Speaker 3: It's it's it's working, but it's not really doing what 234 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:10,800 Speaker 3: he needs to do. 235 00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:15,559 Speaker 1: So I mean I have I have some thoughts on this. 236 00:14:15,679 --> 00:14:17,599 Speaker 1: If if if they if it would be helpful to you? 237 00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:19,400 Speaker 2: Sure? 238 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:24,600 Speaker 1: So, I mean your therapist is is right, Like obviously 239 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:29,280 Speaker 1: you know the way that you're going about doing this 240 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:34,880 Speaker 1: is not is not great. So I would I would 241 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:40,240 Speaker 1: think about all of this stuff differently, because like you're 242 00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:43,040 Speaker 1: lonely and you want to be around more people and 243 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:46,720 Speaker 1: you want to have positive relationships, Like every human being 244 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:53,120 Speaker 1: on the fucking planet Earth, right, And you're going about 245 00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:56,720 Speaker 1: it by being like, well, okay, what is within my 246 00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:04,080 Speaker 1: ability to make friends? Which is a great which is 247 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:08,280 Speaker 1: a phenomenal way to think about that problem. You're just 248 00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:12,480 Speaker 1: answering that question in a fucked up way. You're answering 249 00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:15,400 Speaker 1: that question by going, you know what I can do. 250 00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:17,960 Speaker 1: I can buy people things and I can spend a 251 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,000 Speaker 1: bunch of money on them, and I could take them 252 00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:22,280 Speaker 1: to trips, and I can do this, and I can 253 00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:25,560 Speaker 1: do that. And the way in which you're answering that 254 00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:28,400 Speaker 1: question just continues to fuck you over time and time again. 255 00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:32,280 Speaker 1: And you're smart and you and you know that, so 256 00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:35,320 Speaker 1: I would I guess if I were you, And I'm 257 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:37,920 Speaker 1: I'm really thinking about your situation because it's an interesting 258 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,720 Speaker 1: one and one that you know, I've strugg we all 259 00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:44,880 Speaker 1: struggle with with loneliness and wanting to take it into 260 00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:46,400 Speaker 1: our own hands and fixing it. 261 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:50,760 Speaker 3: Sorry, can I ask in what way is it interesting? 262 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:56,040 Speaker 3: Like how? I don't know. Obviously I haven't been in 263 00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:59,840 Speaker 3: any other position other than mine, but like I would 264 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:04,200 Speaker 3: think that people kind of generally do the same thing. 265 00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:09,240 Speaker 1: I don't know, Well, when you well, people people kind 266 00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:11,160 Speaker 1: of generally do the same thing in the sense that 267 00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:15,200 Speaker 1: people have the people kind of generally always have. People 268 00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:17,200 Speaker 1: have those same desires that you have. They want to 269 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:19,960 Speaker 1: have friends, and they want to feel loved and they 270 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,200 Speaker 1: want to feel appreciated. 271 00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:28,160 Speaker 3: Okay, sure I got that, But I guess. 272 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,640 Speaker 1: I guess in answering the question again and tell me 273 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:32,960 Speaker 1: if any of this resonates with you, But in answering 274 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:37,560 Speaker 1: the question of what is within my power to get 275 00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:43,640 Speaker 1: to the point where I'm having better social interactions, I 276 00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:48,560 Speaker 1: would answer that question differently, and I would go, well, 277 00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:51,520 Speaker 1: what is what's cool about me? Like, you know, I 278 00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:56,120 Speaker 1: go to these punk shows, and I have this mobility 279 00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:58,200 Speaker 1: to go up and start talking. I go to these 280 00:16:58,240 --> 00:17:00,600 Speaker 1: comedy shows, I go out, I leave my house. 281 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:01,280 Speaker 3: I have the. 282 00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:05,520 Speaker 1: Ability to go up to people and strike up a conversation. 283 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,720 Speaker 1: And I have the ability to show interest to other people. 284 00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:12,840 Speaker 1: And I'm funny and I'm cool, and I'm presenting the 285 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:18,119 Speaker 1: best sides of myself and I'm you know, being attentive 286 00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:21,560 Speaker 1: to people, and I'm putting myself out there. And actually 287 00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:23,440 Speaker 1: I like a lot of what you're doing, Like like 288 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:27,200 Speaker 1: you're you're solving your problem by putting yourself out there. 289 00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:30,560 Speaker 1: You know, it only becomes a problem when you start 290 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:33,280 Speaker 1: to like overextend to this point where you feel like 291 00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:36,720 Speaker 1: that's not enough, and so you have to throw in 292 00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:40,800 Speaker 1: money and gifts and whatnot. And I guess I you know, 293 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:43,720 Speaker 1: I'm not a real therapist. I'm just speeling here, but 294 00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:46,399 Speaker 1: I guess it seems like it all comes back to 295 00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:49,760 Speaker 1: this thing of like, how do you feel like you're enough? 296 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:51,000 Speaker 2: Uh? 297 00:17:51,119 --> 00:17:54,800 Speaker 1: And that's a that's a crazy journey of building your 298 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:58,040 Speaker 1: self esteem to get yourself to a point where you're like, oh, 299 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:02,480 Speaker 1: I'm enough. I don't need to buy people coke to 300 00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:04,840 Speaker 1: get them to like me. And by the way, you 301 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:07,560 Speaker 1: have and on this on this phone call, you expressed 302 00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:09,800 Speaker 1: this to be you. You said it you you have 303 00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:12,760 Speaker 1: it in you. You said, I know I'm a cool person. 304 00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:14,720 Speaker 1: I know I'm fun to be around, like you have, 305 00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:15,480 Speaker 1: you have it in you. 306 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:19,040 Speaker 3: That's the thing. That's the thing though, is that like, yes, 307 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:21,960 Speaker 3: I am absolutely cool with going out to an event 308 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:25,280 Speaker 3: and talking to people, but most of the most of 309 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:27,399 Speaker 3: the time when I do that, I'm drunk. I'm fucking 310 00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:29,240 Speaker 3: ship based. I don't know how to talk to people 311 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:32,000 Speaker 3: on like just a base to base level? Like what 312 00:18:32,119 --> 00:18:33,920 Speaker 3: am I supposed to talk about? Like I know that 313 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:35,600 Speaker 3: we're at an event, like you could just kind of 314 00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:37,840 Speaker 3: talk about the event, but like outside of that, what 315 00:18:38,359 --> 00:18:40,520 Speaker 3: what the book? Like? All I really know is like 316 00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:42,560 Speaker 3: someone asking me if I want to go do a 317 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:46,520 Speaker 3: bump in the bathroom. We're gonna talk about. 318 00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:48,560 Speaker 1: That, Okay, Jiji, I'm gonna I'm gonna tell you this. 319 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:50,920 Speaker 1: I really, I swear to God if you take anything 320 00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:53,119 Speaker 1: away from this conversation. And I mean this, I'm not 321 00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:56,520 Speaker 1: saying this to like be cute. I I mean this, JII. 322 00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:59,879 Speaker 1: If you can do these things while you're fucked up, 323 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:04,080 Speaker 1: if you can be confident and strike up conversations with 324 00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:07,879 Speaker 1: folks and feel yourself and whatnot while you're fucked up, 325 00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:11,080 Speaker 1: I swear to God you can do it sober and 326 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:16,800 Speaker 1: I don't. And you're gonna have to try and succeed 327 00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:20,120 Speaker 1: for you to believe that you can. But I really, 328 00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:23,560 Speaker 1: I mean that I think you can. Have you ever tried. 329 00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:25,480 Speaker 1: Have you ever tried going out and not drinking but 330 00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:29,600 Speaker 1: still summoning the confidence that is that is within you? Okay, 331 00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:32,720 Speaker 1: It's not the alcohol that gave you that confidence. That's 332 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:35,280 Speaker 1: part of who you are as a person. You're an extrovert, 333 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:38,119 Speaker 1: you know how to talk to people. Have you tried 334 00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:40,560 Speaker 1: summoning those things without getting sucked up? 335 00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:45,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure, I've tried it. I'm currently on like 336 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,280 Speaker 3: a sober journey right now. 337 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:48,000 Speaker 1: Okay. 338 00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:52,800 Speaker 3: But the thing is is that like when I go 339 00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:55,200 Speaker 3: out to an event and I'm like, Okay, I'm not 340 00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:58,320 Speaker 3: going to drink anything for a couple of hours, and 341 00:19:58,359 --> 00:20:01,040 Speaker 3: then I get super nervous and I get so anxious, 342 00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:02,960 Speaker 3: and I'm like, I just think it's like one beer, 343 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:05,359 Speaker 3: like just chill out, just like a little bit, and 344 00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:07,639 Speaker 3: then it turns into like two lemon drops and then 345 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:08,440 Speaker 3: green tea shops. 346 00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:15,359 Speaker 1: So concerning, Well, look, I mean, first of all, continue 347 00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:17,320 Speaker 1: going to see your what does your does your therapist 348 00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:20,159 Speaker 1: say anything else? Because I have more thoughts about this, 349 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:23,080 Speaker 1: But I'm curious what legitimate mental health professionals have to 350 00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:24,160 Speaker 1: say about your situation. 351 00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:27,680 Speaker 3: I mean, they kind of just think it resonates from 352 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:32,479 Speaker 3: not being able to do all that fundamental shit growing up, 353 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:34,520 Speaker 3: just being able to know how to talk to people 354 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:35,439 Speaker 3: just in school. 355 00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:38,480 Speaker 4: But like. 356 00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:43,719 Speaker 3: She always tells me that I'm doing way better than 357 00:20:44,359 --> 00:20:46,920 Speaker 3: probably anyone else would be doing in my situation because 358 00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:50,359 Speaker 3: I'm actually making the stops to actually be able to 359 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:53,159 Speaker 3: fix it instead of being like, oh what was me? Like, 360 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:57,520 Speaker 3: you know right, but I don't know, Like it's still 361 00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:01,040 Speaker 3: like I'll get into really high phases where it's like 362 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:03,000 Speaker 3: it's so easy just to go out and be like, 363 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:06,399 Speaker 3: you know, this is nothing, and then to start doing 364 00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:09,520 Speaker 3: it for a while like that anxiety just starts hitting 365 00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:12,560 Speaker 3: me again, and I'm like, I don't know if I 366 00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:14,520 Speaker 3: don't know if I'm really presenting what I want to present, 367 00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:16,880 Speaker 3: and I just kind of regress and I just kind 368 00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:19,639 Speaker 3: of stay inside and don't want to do any of 369 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:20,400 Speaker 3: that shit anymore. 370 00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:23,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, by the way, I fully agree. By the way, 371 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:29,320 Speaker 1: I agree heavily with your your therapist right because I'm 372 00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:32,520 Speaker 1: not gonna I don't want to play pretend. But I mean, 373 00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:34,160 Speaker 1: I guess that's what I fucking do, is I play 374 00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:38,560 Speaker 1: pretend therapists anyway? You know it from it sounds to 375 00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:43,399 Speaker 1: me like, uh, yeah, you know, you were put in 376 00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:46,320 Speaker 1: a fucked up situation that caused some problems for you, 377 00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:49,400 Speaker 1: and you're like you are you really are doing great. 378 00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:52,639 Speaker 1: I mean, like like that the fact that you're taking 379 00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:57,399 Speaker 1: it upon yourself to go out and make friends, right, 380 00:21:57,560 --> 00:21:59,520 Speaker 1: Like some people they do they just go woe with me, 381 00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:01,440 Speaker 1: and they said at home and they and they just 382 00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:05,639 Speaker 1: won't fucking do it. Like even though like obviously obviously 383 00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:07,480 Speaker 1: it'd be great if you if you did it without 384 00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:10,520 Speaker 1: getting sucked up. But uh, just the fact that you're 385 00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:13,480 Speaker 1: trying and putting effort towards it, I do. I agree 386 00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:15,439 Speaker 1: with her that that you're doing a lot better than 387 00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:16,840 Speaker 1: most people in your situation. 388 00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:18,879 Speaker 3: Would appreciate it. 389 00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:28,040 Speaker 1: So, I mean, all right, so you go out to 390 00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:30,200 Speaker 1: the what okay, tell me this. You've been in the 391 00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:32,720 Speaker 1: hot You you're the kind of person and this is 392 00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:34,040 Speaker 1: the kind This kind of person I want to be 393 00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:36,399 Speaker 1: is someone who can just go out by themselves to 394 00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:38,840 Speaker 1: a thing and start talking to people and making friends. 395 00:22:39,119 --> 00:22:41,879 Speaker 1: You are that kind of person. That's all that you do. 396 00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:42,879 Speaker 1: Why have you? 397 00:22:43,119 --> 00:22:45,200 Speaker 4: Why have you so strange to me? 398 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:46,200 Speaker 3: Why have you? 399 00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:48,600 Speaker 1: Why have you been at home for five days? What's 400 00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:50,440 Speaker 1: what's keeping you at home for the past five days? 401 00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:51,920 Speaker 4: Oh? 402 00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:55,680 Speaker 3: I don't know, it's cold. I live in Denver. I 403 00:22:55,720 --> 00:23:00,359 Speaker 3: don't want to go out time, okay, but like I could, Like, 404 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:04,600 Speaker 3: there's there's probably so many events that I probably go 405 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:07,880 Speaker 3: to that maybe I might be interested in. That's another thing. 406 00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:10,000 Speaker 3: I just don't like this city. Don't want to have 407 00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:12,000 Speaker 3: to talk to people in this city. I'm excited for 408 00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:15,160 Speaker 3: you to come because maybe I'll be able to talk 409 00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:19,000 Speaker 3: to people at your show y who are like generally 410 00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:23,800 Speaker 3: like minded. But like anywhere else, it's it's kind of 411 00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:27,960 Speaker 3: like pulling teeth talking to people out here. So that's 412 00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:28,679 Speaker 3: another thing too. 413 00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:36,119 Speaker 1: Well, it's it's really and and you you do have 414 00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:39,640 Speaker 1: an interesting situation because I mean, I talk to people 415 00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:41,360 Speaker 1: on this show all the time, and I feel I've 416 00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:43,360 Speaker 1: taught I talked about it in my fucking documentary about 417 00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:50,560 Speaker 1: being lonely and whatnot, and like you're really like doing it, 418 00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:52,320 Speaker 1: like like you're really doing the thing that a lot 419 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:53,680 Speaker 1: of people won't do. It's just to go out. But 420 00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:57,160 Speaker 1: but you have this problem that you're talking about where 421 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:02,200 Speaker 1: for some reason in you, I guess you, and don't 422 00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:04,320 Speaker 1: don't let me put words in your mouth, but it 423 00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:07,440 Speaker 1: sounds like for some reason, you feel like even though 424 00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:10,800 Speaker 1: you know that you're cool and sociable and and and 425 00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:15,520 Speaker 1: like worthy of being somebody's friend, like you, you still 426 00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:17,840 Speaker 1: have this whatever fucking thing in your brain that makes 427 00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:19,280 Speaker 1: you be like, no, that's not enough. I got to 428 00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:20,200 Speaker 1: buy them cocaine. 429 00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:21,600 Speaker 2: Yeah. 430 00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:23,120 Speaker 3: Absolutely. 431 00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:27,480 Speaker 1: I mean like I mean like, like, let's think about 432 00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:29,400 Speaker 1: that first self, what is that? What do you think 433 00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:29,800 Speaker 1: that is? 434 00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:34,840 Speaker 4: I I don't know. 435 00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:38,040 Speaker 3: That's that's kind of difficult. Like I just feel like 436 00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:41,480 Speaker 3: I have to provide, Like I I like, I know 437 00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:45,000 Speaker 3: that I'm I'm funny, I know that I'm pretty, I'm 438 00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:49,880 Speaker 3: nice to look at, But like I feel like that's 439 00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:51,960 Speaker 3: kind of where it ends, Like I don't I feel 440 00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:56,600 Speaker 3: I know that I have this really interesting personality where 441 00:24:58,000 --> 00:24:59,480 Speaker 3: I feel like I'm talking about my own ass, but 442 00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:01,359 Speaker 3: like it's true, like I know that there's things to 443 00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:07,120 Speaker 3: me that interesting. But yeah, it's it's just like where 444 00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:09,359 Speaker 3: does it. Like it's it's gonna stop somewhere and then 445 00:25:09,359 --> 00:25:11,720 Speaker 3: they're gonna stop finding me interesting. And so I have 446 00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:13,840 Speaker 3: to be like, oh no, wait, hold on, I'll get 447 00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:15,359 Speaker 3: you this people. 448 00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:17,080 Speaker 1: Just so you don't lose your interest in me, or 449 00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:20,119 Speaker 1: you know, can we flip the script for a second. 450 00:25:20,359 --> 00:25:23,040 Speaker 1: These people like this friend, this friend who you took 451 00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:29,600 Speaker 1: to Austin who wasn't really that cool anyway, Like, did 452 00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:32,440 Speaker 1: you do you like these people? Do you find these 453 00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:33,360 Speaker 1: people interesting. 454 00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:37,159 Speaker 3: I love them. I think they're so interesting. That's the 455 00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:39,879 Speaker 3: main reason why I hang out with y. I hung 456 00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:42,080 Speaker 3: out with them as much as I did every single 457 00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:44,880 Speaker 3: person that spent it like such a such and such 458 00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:47,320 Speaker 3: amount of money on. I thought they was the coolest 459 00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:49,840 Speaker 3: person on earth and there was. They were just my 460 00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:51,840 Speaker 3: favorite person, and I just felt like I had to 461 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:53,239 Speaker 3: like prove that to them. 462 00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:55,000 Speaker 1: Mm hmmm hmm. 463 00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:04,720 Speaker 3: This is another thing I had that kind of reminds 464 00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:11,200 Speaker 3: me of something. So probably maybe a year after I 465 00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:14,000 Speaker 3: had stopped talking to the friend that I took to Austin, 466 00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:19,840 Speaker 3: I went to Channel five was on tour at the time, 467 00:26:20,119 --> 00:26:22,040 Speaker 3: and they were in Houston and they were having like 468 00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:27,000 Speaker 3: a little after party at this comedy club and they 469 00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:29,960 Speaker 3: never ended up showing up, but I went just to 470 00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:32,080 Speaker 3: see if they ended up showing up, and that friend 471 00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:36,560 Speaker 3: was also there, and there was just something inside me 472 00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:40,280 Speaker 3: that like, I'm never the type to want to start confrontations, 473 00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:43,800 Speaker 3: but it was just like I was being controlled, Like 474 00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:46,080 Speaker 3: I was just I just got up and walked over 475 00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:48,840 Speaker 3: to them, and I was just like I could tell 476 00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:50,359 Speaker 3: that they were just scared of me. 477 00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:54,040 Speaker 1: The friend, the friend that you brought to Austin with 478 00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:54,840 Speaker 1: you was there. 479 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:59,800 Speaker 3: Yes, Yeah, I could tell that they were scared. They 480 00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:01,960 Speaker 3: got so scared. They told me that they didn't even 481 00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:05,959 Speaker 3: recognize me. They're they're much bigger than me, They're much 482 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:09,600 Speaker 3: taller or bigger, and they kind of just shrunk under me. 483 00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:12,800 Speaker 3: And that made me feel good as hell. That made 484 00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:16,320 Speaker 3: me feel so good. But that makes me feel evil too, 485 00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:20,159 Speaker 3: because I don't know what I did be like to 486 00:27:20,359 --> 00:27:22,480 Speaker 3: make them have that reaction just to seeing me after 487 00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:25,480 Speaker 3: all that time, but made me feel like shit. So 488 00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:27,120 Speaker 3: it was nice to feel make them feel like shait 489 00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:31,640 Speaker 3: for this a little bit, I guess. Mmmmmm, I don't 490 00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:32,960 Speaker 3: really know why I brought that up, but I just 491 00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:35,040 Speaker 3: kind of no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I I. 492 00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:39,840 Speaker 1: Don't know, Jay, I'm really I'm really thinking about this, 493 00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:45,359 Speaker 1: and I'm really uh like every like like this is 494 00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:50,720 Speaker 1: such a weird situation because everything's there like clearly, like 495 00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:55,480 Speaker 1: like I guess you would think like, oh, this comes 496 00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:58,920 Speaker 1: from like low self esteem, but you know, like you 497 00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:01,639 Speaker 1: clear but clearly you you recognize all of the things 498 00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:03,919 Speaker 1: that are positive and good about yourself because you've been 499 00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:09,600 Speaker 1: talking about them and are aware of them. So I'm 500 00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:11,520 Speaker 1: just really trying to figure out. And also you have 501 00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:13,960 Speaker 1: these like social skills that are really hard to develop. 502 00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:16,680 Speaker 1: So I'm like, what the what is it that is 503 00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:20,440 Speaker 1: like this? What is the block that's making it so 504 00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:23,640 Speaker 1: that you you feel like I feel needs to spend 505 00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:24,280 Speaker 1: money on people? 506 00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:28,520 Speaker 3: I just got mad imposter syndrome. I already know that 507 00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:35,280 Speaker 3: that's the main thing, but like, yeah, it's a very 508 00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:37,520 Speaker 3: weird situation. It doesn't really make sense in my mind. 509 00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:42,440 Speaker 3: Like anyone else, probably if they were in my exact 510 00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:46,120 Speaker 3: same status range, they probably have the most amount of friends. 511 00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:49,120 Speaker 3: But it's just so difficult for me. I don't understand. 512 00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:49,720 Speaker 3: I don't know. 513 00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:54,480 Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Is there anything else here that you're that 514 00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:56,600 Speaker 1: your therapist said that is helpful that you want to 515 00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:57,000 Speaker 1: bring up? 516 00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:07,800 Speaker 3: Don't uh, I don't know. Don't look for what you 517 00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:12,560 Speaker 3: want to see in yourself and others. I guess like, yeah, 518 00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:14,960 Speaker 3: that was that was the main thing. Like I met 519 00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:17,640 Speaker 3: all these really cool people who were everything that I 520 00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:20,680 Speaker 3: wanted to be musicians, comedians, stand ups. 521 00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:24,000 Speaker 1: Whatever about that, Well, tell me more about that. They're 522 00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:25,560 Speaker 1: everything that you want to What do you want to be? 523 00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:28,600 Speaker 3: I want to be an entertainer, like I want to 524 00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:31,400 Speaker 3: be I want to be known by everyone and known 525 00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:35,360 Speaker 3: by no one at the same time. You know, it's 526 00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:38,600 Speaker 3: that's just it's just it comes up to me as 527 00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:41,600 Speaker 3: like the prime of confidence, the prime of self esteem, 528 00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:44,280 Speaker 3: I guess is you being able to put yourself in 529 00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:50,240 Speaker 3: front of all these people without any any worries about 530 00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:52,160 Speaker 3: it because you know that you're you're doing something for 531 00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:53,080 Speaker 3: them at the end of the day. 532 00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:55,880 Speaker 1: That's what I would you have to you got to understand. 533 00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:57,600 Speaker 1: And you know this for saying the comedians and musicians 534 00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:02,880 Speaker 1: are some of the most u self esteem motherfuckers out there. 535 00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:05,720 Speaker 3: Yeah, no, no, I totally. I've seen it. I've seen 536 00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:08,360 Speaker 3: it first pance. But like just being able to put 537 00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:11,600 Speaker 3: on that facade just for a little bit, mm hmm, 538 00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:15,240 Speaker 3: is is just what It's just so appealing to me, 539 00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:19,240 Speaker 3: Like just being able to put on a mask just 540 00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:19,960 Speaker 3: for a little bit. 541 00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:23,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, when well, when you go do the open mic, well, 542 00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:24,560 Speaker 1: when you go to the Commis shows, you ever do 543 00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:28,200 Speaker 1: like open mics? Yeah, I don't know. 544 00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:31,800 Speaker 3: I I did a few because my friend was running it, 545 00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:36,400 Speaker 3: and I don't know. I I just I don't know. 546 00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:38,760 Speaker 3: If I'm not good at writing material, I'm kind of 547 00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:43,400 Speaker 3: a funnier person on you know, on off a dime. 548 00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:47,480 Speaker 3: But I mean, obviously anything that I practiced with I'll 549 00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:50,840 Speaker 3: get better at. But it's just I don't know. I 550 00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:52,360 Speaker 3: feel like a lot of people just have an inherent 551 00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:56,360 Speaker 3: talent for it, and uh, it's kind of discouraging when 552 00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:57,520 Speaker 3: I don't see that out of myself. 553 00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:03,000 Speaker 1: M Yeah, there's a there's a lot going on here. 554 00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:06,840 Speaker 1: But uh, I when's the next time You've been in 555 00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:08,640 Speaker 1: your house for five days? You haven't gone out, you 556 00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:10,200 Speaker 1: haven't spoken to anyone. 557 00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:12,400 Speaker 3: Or just like, I mean, it's probably it hasn't been 558 00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:16,120 Speaker 3: like maybe it may have been like maybe two or 559 00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:17,440 Speaker 3: three days, probably not five days. 560 00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:19,880 Speaker 1: Okay, Well are you would you be willing to go 561 00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:20,480 Speaker 1: out again? 562 00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:20,920 Speaker 2: Well? 563 00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:23,560 Speaker 1: What's today, Thursday, tomorrow's Friday night? Would you be willing 564 00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:26,240 Speaker 1: to go out again and try again? But this time 565 00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:29,000 Speaker 1: just make it a point of like nothing of like 566 00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:32,240 Speaker 1: I'm gonna do it, but I'm not. I'm at least 567 00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:36,560 Speaker 1: this time, I'm not gonna get fucked up. Yeah, but 568 00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:38,520 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna give it to and I'm not gonna 569 00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:40,600 Speaker 1: give into my impulses and I'm gonna see what happens. 570 00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:44,200 Speaker 3: That's hard, but yeah, I can try to make a 571 00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:45,160 Speaker 3: promise to myself. 572 00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:53,360 Speaker 1: Mm hmm, because yeah, all you need is I mean, 573 00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:57,880 Speaker 1: if you're so like, you're so close. That's the thing is, 574 00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:00,400 Speaker 1: it's just so close, you know. And all you need 575 00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:03,440 Speaker 1: is like like a little bit of evidence that like, oh, okay, 576 00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:07,040 Speaker 1: this idea that I need to buy people things to 577 00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:10,640 Speaker 1: get them to like me is is all in my head. 578 00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:15,080 Speaker 1: Let me get a little bit of evidence that that 579 00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:19,120 Speaker 1: this is all in my head. And I don't know 580 00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:23,239 Speaker 1: if I don't know if fixing uh whatever trauma and uh, 581 00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:27,600 Speaker 1: you know, a mental wiring is is as easy as that. 582 00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:30,160 Speaker 1: But it seems like a good place to start, Like 583 00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:32,920 Speaker 1: let me just go out make a friend at night, 584 00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:36,160 Speaker 1: start talking to someone, which I know I can do 585 00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:40,200 Speaker 1: because I know I'm a sociable, cool person. And let 586 00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:44,400 Speaker 1: me do it without alcohol because the alcohol, you know, obviously, 587 00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:46,920 Speaker 1: yeah alcohol makes you a little bit more confident, but 588 00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:49,920 Speaker 1: but you don't but you don't need it. That's that's it. 589 00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:55,440 Speaker 1: That shit's within you, you know. So so I guess 590 00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:58,600 Speaker 1: if there's any homework from this phone call, it's like, 591 00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:03,160 Speaker 1: go out, go out, do your thing, but just try 592 00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:05,120 Speaker 1: not to get fucked up and trying not to buy anyone, 593 00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:08,720 Speaker 1: you know, cocaine or movie tickets. 594 00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:11,960 Speaker 3: All right, I'll try my best. 595 00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:20,560 Speaker 1: What's your nick, ji Ji? Is there anything else, like 596 00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:23,840 Speaker 1: any other aspect of this that you want to talk about, 597 00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:28,520 Speaker 1: or any anything else you wanted to run buy me 598 00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:32,120 Speaker 1: or any any any other any stuff before we go? 599 00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:35,160 Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know. The other thing that I 600 00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:37,600 Speaker 3: said in my text mesice to you was because I 601 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:41,760 Speaker 3: think all this kind of like, uh sparked up because 602 00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:45,640 Speaker 3: I electrocuted myself at school, nearly burnt the school down, 603 00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:50,240 Speaker 3: and I think ever since then, like it's just kind 604 00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:53,520 Speaker 3: of like I guess rewired my brain a little bit. 605 00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:55,240 Speaker 3: I feel like if I hadn't done that, I would 606 00:33:55,240 --> 00:33:57,560 Speaker 3: have been like a normal sociable human being. 607 00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:02,760 Speaker 1: But wait, do you feel like because you burned the 608 00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:03,400 Speaker 1: school down? 609 00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:07,960 Speaker 3: You No, I didn't actually burn it down. I cause 610 00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:11,840 Speaker 3: an I caused an electrical fire. I nearly burned the 611 00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:15,760 Speaker 3: school down, but UH didn't. 612 00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:17,600 Speaker 2: So but I. 613 00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:23,799 Speaker 3: Was in probably two thousand and six, So you feel 614 00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:24,000 Speaker 3: like that. 615 00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:26,719 Speaker 1: And you feel like that's still as as what about that? 616 00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:28,360 Speaker 1: Do you feel like it's still lingering today? 617 00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:33,920 Speaker 3: The faring to my nerves? I don't know, I had, 618 00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:40,960 Speaker 3: I had electrical current shot through my body and I 619 00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:44,479 Speaker 3: brought out the power in the entire school for maybe 620 00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:45,640 Speaker 3: like six hours. 621 00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:52,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, but like and it gave and you feel like 622 00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:54,840 Speaker 1: that gave you like reverse superpowers. 623 00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:58,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it kind of like made me a 624 00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:01,400 Speaker 3: little r worded just a little bit. It kind of 625 00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:02,839 Speaker 3: doled me down a little bit. 626 00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:05,440 Speaker 1: Okay, all right, Well. 627 00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:07,920 Speaker 3: You know when you you know, when people go to 628 00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:10,920 Speaker 3: conversion camps like shock the gay out. I feel like 629 00:35:11,040 --> 00:35:14,000 Speaker 3: it shocked the sociability out of me. Ever since then, 630 00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:16,400 Speaker 3: I've just been kind of stupid interesting. 631 00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:22,520 Speaker 1: Well, well, look that's not true, right like you, It's 632 00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:26,239 Speaker 1: not It's not fucking true. Giy, this is not fucking true. 633 00:35:26,239 --> 00:35:28,440 Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm not Andrew Huerman. I don't know 634 00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:32,120 Speaker 1: how things work in the body. But but that's not true. 635 00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:38,279 Speaker 1: So got go Tomorrow's Friday night. Go out, don't get 636 00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:42,080 Speaker 1: fucked up, don't buy anyone any fucking things, and just 637 00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:45,520 Speaker 1: just see see how you feel just just talking to people, 638 00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:47,000 Speaker 1: no attachments. 639 00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:51,120 Speaker 3: I'll turn up respectfully, I'll try my best. 640 00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:53,719 Speaker 1: Okay, all right, is there anything else you want to 641 00:35:53,719 --> 00:35:55,160 Speaker 1: say to the people of the computer before we go? 642 00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:55,440 Speaker 2: Ji? 643 00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:02,080 Speaker 3: He should love have a wonder full day. You can 644 00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:06,839 Speaker 3: find me on Instagram at T tests. Love you so much. 645 00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:08,120 Speaker 3: Thank you guys for listening. 646 00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:15,960 Speaker 4: P test t t e E p e F no tests, 647 00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:19,520 Speaker 4: but like test oh P. 648 00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:26,200 Speaker 1: Pests Yes, p E E T e s t F. 649 00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:30,840 Speaker 1: That's actually kind of a cool Instagram name. Thank you 650 00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:33,000 Speaker 1: for calling j gat Blessed you have a the rest 651 00:36:33,040 --> 00:36:40,200 Speaker 1: of the night. That was interesting. Hm, I hope she 652 00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:42,360 Speaker 1: does it. It's funny. I talked to her for a 653 00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:44,440 Speaker 1: pretty long time. We talked for like thirty five minutes, 654 00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:47,400 Speaker 1: and uh, sometimes I do I did feel at the 655 00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:50,800 Speaker 1: end of that call that it started with we we 656 00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:53,480 Speaker 1: went through that whole problem, and I do think I 657 00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:56,239 Speaker 1: kind of just ended it by saying, well, hey, why 658 00:36:56,239 --> 00:36:59,520 Speaker 1: don't you just not do that? And it's like, yeah, 659 00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:04,360 Speaker 1: thanks by that's fantastic advice from the therapy gecko. But 660 00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:07,440 Speaker 1: I don't know, hopefully that was helpful in some way, 661 00:37:07,480 --> 00:37:12,120 Speaker 1: shape or form. Yeah, I felt with her like all 662 00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:15,480 Speaker 1: this like everything was there, like she she had an 663 00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:20,160 Speaker 1: awareness of like who she was and and the positive 664 00:37:20,239 --> 00:37:23,440 Speaker 1: qualities that she had, but there was just some fucking 665 00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:26,400 Speaker 1: mental block And I don't know with doing these with 666 00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:28,880 Speaker 1: with having these conversations and doing these things. There's just 667 00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:30,360 Speaker 1: a lot of things where I'm like, I don't know 668 00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:34,520 Speaker 1: how to how to overcome that thing. But whatever, I 669 00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:38,719 Speaker 1: hope that that that brief call with a gecko was 670 00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:45,759 Speaker 1: helpful in some way shape or form. Hello, Hey, what's up? 671 00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:48,400 Speaker 2: Dog? What's up? 672 00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:49,799 Speaker 1: What's your name? 673 00:37:51,239 --> 00:37:51,520 Speaker 2: Seth? 674 00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:54,760 Speaker 1: Seth? Seth? How can I get you today? 675 00:37:56,040 --> 00:38:01,320 Speaker 2: No fucking way. I've got a big issue going on 676 00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:01,759 Speaker 2: right now. 677 00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:06,279 Speaker 1: Let's hear about it. Let's see, let's let's talk about it. 678 00:38:06,719 --> 00:38:14,080 Speaker 2: I love one girl for who she is and another 679 00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:16,279 Speaker 2: for who she is, but for what she's got. 680 00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:22,879 Speaker 1: Okay, tell me more. 681 00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:27,640 Speaker 2: One girl works for FedEx with me. Another one works 682 00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:32,400 Speaker 2: for Warner Brothers Studios in makes is going to make 683 00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:40,280 Speaker 2: a lot of money. Okay, I don't know who to choose. 684 00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:48,200 Speaker 1: Okay, how did you meet? Tell me how you met 685 00:38:48,239 --> 00:38:48,800 Speaker 1: these girls? 686 00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:51,960 Speaker 2: Facebook? Uh? 687 00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:52,400 Speaker 3: Like? 688 00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:54,200 Speaker 1: How on Facebook? 689 00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:58,640 Speaker 2: Uh? Facebook? Dating and friendship? 690 00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:02,440 Speaker 1: Okay? When when you meet a woman on Facebook who 691 00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:06,040 Speaker 1: tells you that she has a lot of money, well 692 00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:09,600 Speaker 1: you have to verify whether or not she's a real 693 00:39:09,719 --> 00:39:10,560 Speaker 1: human being. 694 00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:16,000 Speaker 2: Right, And I did. I made her verify where she 695 00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:22,200 Speaker 2: works because being where I live, working for Warner Brothers. 696 00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:24,440 Speaker 2: Seems fucking impossible. 697 00:39:25,239 --> 00:39:27,600 Speaker 1: Have you met these two women in person? 698 00:39:29,040 --> 00:39:32,160 Speaker 2: Uh? Yes? 699 00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:35,400 Speaker 1: I feel like that should be a simple answer, no question, 700 00:39:37,640 --> 00:39:38,160 Speaker 1: yes and. 701 00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:40,600 Speaker 2: Other stuff. 702 00:39:43,760 --> 00:39:45,759 Speaker 1: What do you I just asked if you had Have 703 00:39:45,840 --> 00:39:47,280 Speaker 1: you met these two girls in person? 704 00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:48,480 Speaker 2: Yes? 705 00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:51,640 Speaker 1: Okay, I did ask if you had sex with them? 706 00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:54,800 Speaker 3: I know? 707 00:39:57,040 --> 00:40:00,719 Speaker 1: But uh yeah, okay? Are you are you? 708 00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:00,920 Speaker 3: Like? 709 00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:01,080 Speaker 2: What? 710 00:40:01,320 --> 00:40:03,000 Speaker 1: What's what's the story with that? How long have you 711 00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:03,680 Speaker 1: been like? 712 00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:04,040 Speaker 3: Uh? 713 00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:04,920 Speaker 2: Well? 714 00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:06,040 Speaker 1: Do they know about each other? 715 00:40:07,719 --> 00:40:07,919 Speaker 2: Yes? 716 00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:10,799 Speaker 1: All right? How long have you been involved with each 717 00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:11,080 Speaker 1: of them? 718 00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:15,000 Speaker 2: Uh? Two three months? 719 00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:20,319 Speaker 1: Okay? And both are they are? And both of them? 720 00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:22,080 Speaker 1: How do they Okay, so they both know about each other? 721 00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:24,120 Speaker 1: How do they feel about the existence of each other 722 00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:24,800 Speaker 1: in your lives? 723 00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:32,080 Speaker 2: Negative? Okay, one feels better than the other. 724 00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:36,960 Speaker 1: Okay. And so you're asking me which of these girls 725 00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:39,080 Speaker 1: you should go with based on like one of them 726 00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:40,240 Speaker 1: makes a lot of money? 727 00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:48,440 Speaker 2: No, which one I should really go just go with? 728 00:40:50,200 --> 00:40:51,839 Speaker 1: Okay? Well? 729 00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:54,960 Speaker 2: Which I love both of them? 730 00:40:56,360 --> 00:40:56,759 Speaker 4: M hmm. 731 00:40:57,840 --> 00:41:04,040 Speaker 2: One of them is more comfortable, one room provides more luxury. 732 00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:10,600 Speaker 1: So you're trying to get this. If I if I 733 00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:13,759 Speaker 1: were you, I wouldn't factor how much money either of 734 00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:18,240 Speaker 1: these women make into your decision unless that's just always 735 00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:20,200 Speaker 1: been your dream to be a trophy husband. 736 00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:27,200 Speaker 2: It's not. It's more I've been the one always doing 737 00:41:27,239 --> 00:41:32,759 Speaker 2: a lot of ship, the cooking, the cleaning everything. One 738 00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:38,120 Speaker 2: has her issues, doesn't have her kids. One has her 739 00:41:38,239 --> 00:41:43,840 Speaker 2: kids and likes to do the cooking and cleaning. 740 00:41:44,560 --> 00:41:46,200 Speaker 1: All right, So let me ask you this. If you're 741 00:41:46,239 --> 00:41:52,520 Speaker 1: gonna be, if you're gonna be, uh, the sugar, the 742 00:41:52,840 --> 00:41:57,239 Speaker 1: trophy husband to this multimillion dollar Warner Brothers executive, what 743 00:41:57,400 --> 00:41:59,080 Speaker 1: what are you going to bring to the table that's 744 00:41:59,120 --> 00:42:00,560 Speaker 1: gonna make her want to spoil you? 745 00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:08,040 Speaker 2: That's the exact question I asked myself, because she says, 746 00:42:09,120 --> 00:42:11,280 Speaker 2: you don't have to do anything, just be yourself. 747 00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:14,239 Speaker 1: Are you a cool guy? 748 00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:19,880 Speaker 2: Yeah? The reason why she says she loves me is 749 00:42:19,920 --> 00:42:21,120 Speaker 2: because I am who I am. 750 00:42:24,480 --> 00:42:26,200 Speaker 1: Okay, so you know this one for three months and 751 00:42:26,280 --> 00:42:27,279 Speaker 1: you guys are already in love. 752 00:42:29,160 --> 00:42:32,200 Speaker 2: I'm in love with both of them and you've. 753 00:42:32,120 --> 00:42:37,640 Speaker 1: Known both of them three months? Yeah, Okay? 754 00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:39,480 Speaker 2: Do you both love me for who I am? 755 00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:40,440 Speaker 3: Do you? 756 00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:41,239 Speaker 2: Well? 757 00:42:41,320 --> 00:42:43,480 Speaker 1: Congratulations? Not many people can say that. 758 00:42:48,840 --> 00:42:52,719 Speaker 2: Yeah, but one is also talking to another guy, the 759 00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:58,480 Speaker 2: other one that's not well off, and it sucks. 760 00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:02,800 Speaker 1: I'm very confused. I'm I still want to get to 761 00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:07,960 Speaker 1: the bottom of why you are so in intrigued with 762 00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:09,560 Speaker 1: how much money this woman makes. 763 00:43:11,200 --> 00:43:14,719 Speaker 2: I wasn't. I loved her for who she was when 764 00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:18,200 Speaker 2: we started talking. I started talking to one that was 765 00:43:18,239 --> 00:43:21,560 Speaker 2: supposed to be a friend, and then she confessed her 766 00:43:21,680 --> 00:43:24,120 Speaker 2: love to me while I was talking to this girl 767 00:43:24,160 --> 00:43:27,080 Speaker 2: that was supposed to be doing and I confessed my 768 00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:32,640 Speaker 2: love back, and I became an argument, and I stepped 769 00:43:32,719 --> 00:43:38,640 Speaker 2: talking to this other girl for five days and we 770 00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:45,480 Speaker 2: sorry what We had sex every day and then I 771 00:43:45,680 --> 00:43:49,960 Speaker 2: ended it when this other girl, or sorry the other 772 00:43:50,080 --> 00:43:55,239 Speaker 2: girl goes Hey, So my boss decides to surprise me 773 00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:59,520 Speaker 2: with a free trip to the Bahamas because she whispered 774 00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:08,440 Speaker 2: what broa mm hmm, and then I it's sorry. I 775 00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:13,399 Speaker 2: did ask for proof, and she provided me with every 776 00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:17,080 Speaker 2: little bit of proof, and we are going to the Bahamas. 777 00:44:17,719 --> 00:44:20,640 Speaker 1: You asked her for proof that she works at Warner Brothers. 778 00:44:22,120 --> 00:44:25,400 Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I mean where I live, that's unheard of. 779 00:44:27,160 --> 00:44:28,480 Speaker 1: Where do you live? What state? 780 00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:30,040 Speaker 2: Iowa? 781 00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:34,440 Speaker 1: Iowa? You asked her for like you said, I don't like. 782 00:44:34,520 --> 00:44:35,919 Speaker 1: She said she works for Warner Brothers, And you said, 783 00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:39,120 Speaker 1: I don't believe you send me an email from your 784 00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:40,160 Speaker 1: Warner Brothers address. 785 00:44:42,080 --> 00:44:45,560 Speaker 2: Uh, sort of. I wanted proof that she worked for 786 00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:51,400 Speaker 2: Warner Brothers because why where we live something like that 787 00:44:51,840 --> 00:44:55,880 Speaker 2: isn't a job here, okay? And I didn't believe her, 788 00:44:56,440 --> 00:44:58,719 Speaker 2: So I was like, well, I want proof that you 789 00:44:58,840 --> 00:45:01,800 Speaker 2: actually do work for one Brothers. And she sent me 790 00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:05,400 Speaker 2: her past coode information. 791 00:45:07,480 --> 00:45:09,360 Speaker 1: She sent you her past code information. 792 00:45:10,760 --> 00:45:11,000 Speaker 2: Yep. 793 00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:16,040 Speaker 1: Is that sensitive information. 794 00:45:20,080 --> 00:45:23,520 Speaker 2: To a point, but it's not enough to get her 795 00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:29,000 Speaker 2: in trouble. What do you do? I work for FedEx? 796 00:45:30,160 --> 00:45:30,480 Speaker 1: Okay? 797 00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:32,160 Speaker 3: Are you? 798 00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:34,520 Speaker 1: Is the plan to marry this woman and quit your 799 00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:36,560 Speaker 1: job and be like a house husband. 800 00:45:38,360 --> 00:45:40,120 Speaker 2: That's what she tells me she wants me to be. 801 00:45:41,120 --> 00:45:41,880 Speaker 1: How do you feel about that? 802 00:45:44,640 --> 00:45:51,160 Speaker 2: I mean great, I've met her kids, I met her. 803 00:45:56,040 --> 00:46:02,879 Speaker 1: Okay, Uh, I mean it's I mean, look, it really 804 00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:05,680 Speaker 1: sounds it really sounds like you want to go with 805 00:46:05,760 --> 00:46:07,280 Speaker 1: the woman who makes more money. 806 00:46:10,760 --> 00:46:15,360 Speaker 2: In a way, but there's a huge difference between the 807 00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:15,920 Speaker 2: two of them. 808 00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:17,920 Speaker 3: What is that. 809 00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:25,560 Speaker 2: She likes to cook and clean and be a housewife 810 00:46:26,080 --> 00:46:30,759 Speaker 2: and that's something I've never had, like happiness. Like I said, 811 00:46:30,800 --> 00:46:31,759 Speaker 2: I've been the one to. 812 00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:35,239 Speaker 1: Wait a minute. So this, This woman, the cooking woman 813 00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:39,040 Speaker 1: wants to This woman wants to cook and clean for 814 00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:44,040 Speaker 1: you and be the sole income owner of the house 815 00:46:44,120 --> 00:46:47,000 Speaker 1: as well, while you literally do nothing. 816 00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:53,920 Speaker 2: No, that's that's not it. I like a woman that 817 00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:57,040 Speaker 2: wants to help cook and clean. I've always cooked and clean. 818 00:46:58,080 --> 00:47:02,560 Speaker 2: I want to share that and do both at the 819 00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:06,480 Speaker 2: same time. I mean, have you ever been the one 820 00:47:06,520 --> 00:47:09,680 Speaker 2: in a relationship to always cook and clean everything up? 821 00:47:10,719 --> 00:47:14,200 Speaker 1: So you want to share the cooking and cleaning with 822 00:47:14,320 --> 00:47:22,439 Speaker 1: her while she makes all of the money. No, what's 823 00:47:22,480 --> 00:47:28,120 Speaker 1: your idea? What's what's what's your name again, Seth, Seth, Seth? 824 00:47:28,160 --> 00:47:30,239 Speaker 1: What's your ideal situation here? 825 00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:33,480 Speaker 2: Happiness? 826 00:47:34,239 --> 00:47:36,040 Speaker 1: Okay? What's gonna make you the most happy? 827 00:47:40,520 --> 00:47:41,880 Speaker 2: Enjoying life with someone? 828 00:47:42,680 --> 00:47:44,840 Speaker 1: Okay? Which of these women do you think you're gonna 829 00:47:45,680 --> 00:47:46,879 Speaker 1: enjoy life with more? 830 00:47:51,239 --> 00:47:54,200 Speaker 2: The other one? Because I mean, I told the story 831 00:47:54,239 --> 00:47:55,040 Speaker 2: about the other girl. 832 00:47:56,360 --> 00:47:57,759 Speaker 1: You haven't told the story. What's the story? 833 00:48:00,080 --> 00:48:06,759 Speaker 2: So she okay, both of them has three kids, one 834 00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:12,760 Speaker 2: has all three, one doesn't. The other one that works 835 00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:19,719 Speaker 2: kind of with me since we're both FedEx people. She 836 00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:26,200 Speaker 2: lost her kids due to a lot of bad things. 837 00:48:26,880 --> 00:48:31,680 Speaker 2: I'm not gonna tell her story. Right here. She had 838 00:48:31,719 --> 00:48:37,360 Speaker 2: to Forcelly kind of give up her rights to her kids, okay, 839 00:48:37,520 --> 00:48:42,319 Speaker 2: for their safety. Okay, the other one didn't, so there's 840 00:48:42,440 --> 00:48:45,680 Speaker 2: limited time that she can spend with her kids. The 841 00:48:45,719 --> 00:48:46,919 Speaker 2: other one has her kids. 842 00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:56,080 Speaker 1: This, uh, Facebook dating sounds exactly like the place that 843 00:48:56,200 --> 00:48:57,400 Speaker 1: I anticipated would be. 844 00:49:01,040 --> 00:49:01,480 Speaker 2: Horrible. 845 00:49:03,160 --> 00:49:08,160 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say anything further than that. Well, all right, man, 846 00:49:08,200 --> 00:49:10,200 Speaker 1: I mean, god, damn, I asked you this question and 847 00:49:10,320 --> 00:49:12,759 Speaker 1: you answered it immediately, so you know you don't need 848 00:49:12,840 --> 00:49:13,919 Speaker 1: my help. Go with your gut. 849 00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:17,160 Speaker 3: I mean, so. 850 00:49:19,120 --> 00:49:22,040 Speaker 2: This girl, I was saying both of them at the 851 00:49:22,080 --> 00:49:24,160 Speaker 2: same time for a month and a half. 852 00:49:25,120 --> 00:49:25,440 Speaker 1: Uh huh. 853 00:49:26,960 --> 00:49:29,000 Speaker 2: I ended it with one of them. 854 00:49:30,120 --> 00:49:33,239 Speaker 1: Oh, which you already ended it with one of these girls. 855 00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:42,000 Speaker 2: This sort of space, Well, we don't. Well. One of 856 00:49:42,239 --> 00:49:44,319 Speaker 2: the one I ended it with asked me to come 857 00:49:44,360 --> 00:49:46,600 Speaker 2: over one night, and I was like, all right, fuck it. 858 00:49:47,760 --> 00:49:51,360 Speaker 2: I was drunk, but then I said, we can't do 859 00:49:51,480 --> 00:49:52,160 Speaker 2: this again. 860 00:49:53,360 --> 00:49:58,719 Speaker 1: Dude, listen, okay, and and h I don't know which 861 00:49:58,760 --> 00:50:00,480 Speaker 1: I don't know, first of all, don't know if. I 862 00:50:00,520 --> 00:50:02,160 Speaker 1: don't know if either of these two women are real. 863 00:50:02,160 --> 00:50:03,880 Speaker 1: I don't actually know if you're real. And if this 864 00:50:04,040 --> 00:50:08,840 Speaker 1: is some kind of AI generated Facebook dating advertisements. But 865 00:50:09,200 --> 00:50:10,759 Speaker 1: if I were if I were, if I were you, 866 00:50:11,320 --> 00:50:13,400 Speaker 1: if I were you, I would I mean would just 867 00:50:13,480 --> 00:50:15,719 Speaker 1: pick something and dive into it. Because the longer you 868 00:50:15,840 --> 00:50:21,480 Speaker 1: spend sitting on the fence and uh, you know, postulating 869 00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:27,600 Speaker 1: about these two, you're just gonna waste time. And I 870 00:50:27,680 --> 00:50:30,160 Speaker 1: don't I don't know. This whole thing is super Uh 871 00:50:30,800 --> 00:50:35,320 Speaker 1: it's kind of weird to me. But you know, do 872 00:50:35,440 --> 00:50:36,400 Speaker 1: whatever makes you happy. 873 00:50:36,480 --> 00:50:36,600 Speaker 4: Man. 874 00:50:36,640 --> 00:50:40,359 Speaker 1: I know that that's a platitude, but it sounds as though, 875 00:50:41,760 --> 00:50:44,319 Speaker 1: again when I asked you how you felt, you had 876 00:50:44,360 --> 00:50:47,000 Speaker 1: a gut reaction. So I mean, if I were you, 877 00:50:47,040 --> 00:50:48,440 Speaker 1: I would go with that gut reaction. 878 00:50:53,239 --> 00:50:56,480 Speaker 2: That that's what I plan going with. Mm hmm. 879 00:50:57,800 --> 00:51:00,120 Speaker 1: But also, I mean, think about all the things that 880 00:51:00,160 --> 00:51:03,120 Speaker 1: you can do with with this woman's money and with 881 00:51:03,239 --> 00:51:05,520 Speaker 1: her influence too, because I was going to say, you should, uh, 882 00:51:06,040 --> 00:51:07,560 Speaker 1: you should ask her if she's going to make the 883 00:51:07,640 --> 00:51:10,640 Speaker 1: next Batman movie not suck, because I walked out of 884 00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:13,520 Speaker 1: the to let her know that. Yeah, I walked out 885 00:51:13,560 --> 00:51:14,239 Speaker 1: of the first one. 886 00:51:14,360 --> 00:51:17,759 Speaker 2: So I'm hoping that she didn't have that much influence. 887 00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:19,120 Speaker 2: She has a little bit. 888 00:51:19,520 --> 00:51:24,000 Speaker 1: What's your Name's what's your name one more time, Seth, Seth, 889 00:51:24,080 --> 00:51:25,320 Speaker 1: is there anything else you want to say to the 890 00:51:25,400 --> 00:51:26,680 Speaker 1: people of the computer before we go? 891 00:51:28,400 --> 00:51:31,440 Speaker 2: Go watch Akaman two? Because that helps her revenue. 892 00:51:33,600 --> 00:51:36,480 Speaker 1: That helps her revenue, and it also uh trickles down 893 00:51:36,560 --> 00:51:44,000 Speaker 1: to you apparently. Yeah, take care, Seth, thanks for calling. Hey, 894 00:51:44,239 --> 00:51:50,200 Speaker 1: thank you, folks. Go sign up for Facebook Dating. Use 895 00:51:50,239 --> 00:51:54,200 Speaker 1: the coupon use the code SETH for ten percent off 896 00:51:54,360 --> 00:51:59,920 Speaker 1: super Likes Facebook Dating super Likes. Hello, folks, it's Lyle here. 897 00:52:00,480 --> 00:52:03,799 Speaker 1: That's the end of this episode. But get this, I'm 898 00:52:03,880 --> 00:52:08,600 Speaker 1: releasing a bonus episode this week. That's right, an entire 899 00:52:09,160 --> 00:52:12,560 Speaker 1: extra hour of the podcast that you can listen to 900 00:52:12,760 --> 00:52:16,920 Speaker 1: by becoming a premium member of Therapy Gecko over at 901 00:52:17,040 --> 00:52:21,880 Speaker 1: Therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. Supercast subscribers get access 902 00:52:21,920 --> 00:52:25,759 Speaker 1: to bonus episodes. They get a completely ad free podcast 903 00:52:25,880 --> 00:52:28,640 Speaker 1: feed of the regular show, they get recordings from my 904 00:52:28,800 --> 00:52:32,360 Speaker 1: live shows, members only streams, and they help support my 905 00:52:32,480 --> 00:52:36,000 Speaker 1: ability to continue doing this podcast. So here's a clip 906 00:52:36,280 --> 00:52:39,480 Speaker 1: from this week's members only bonus episode. 907 00:52:39,800 --> 00:52:41,600 Speaker 3: I'm a free I just got a suit. 908 00:52:41,719 --> 00:52:43,839 Speaker 5: It's like a head and the tail and I'm very 909 00:52:43,880 --> 00:52:44,360 Speaker 5: proud of it. 910 00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:45,280 Speaker 3: It's awesome. 911 00:52:45,480 --> 00:52:48,120 Speaker 1: All right, Frost, let's get into it. How's the crazy 912 00:52:48,200 --> 00:52:50,480 Speaker 1: monkey suit? Sex? That's what everyone wants to know. 913 00:52:51,719 --> 00:52:53,719 Speaker 5: I don't want to sweat too much in it, you know, 914 00:52:54,080 --> 00:52:56,600 Speaker 5: because I want to keep it nice. But once I 915 00:52:56,680 --> 00:53:01,440 Speaker 5: get a few more suits, I'll probably delegate one for 916 00:53:02,520 --> 00:53:03,800 Speaker 5: the hot steaming. 917 00:53:04,120 --> 00:53:05,919 Speaker 1: So you are trying to get to the point where 918 00:53:05,920 --> 00:53:09,200 Speaker 1: you have a few monkey suits and one of them 919 00:53:09,320 --> 00:53:12,320 Speaker 1: is specifically for sex. Yeah, just a few, you know, 920 00:53:12,760 --> 00:53:14,760 Speaker 1: that's a good idea. I should, I should. I should 921 00:53:14,800 --> 00:53:16,920 Speaker 1: set aside one of my Gecko suits for that. 922 00:53:17,760 --> 00:53:21,120 Speaker 5: Oh yeah, but you only have one though, right dude? 923 00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:22,800 Speaker 1: When you said oh yeah, just now, you kind of 924 00:53:22,840 --> 00:53:26,080 Speaker 1: slipped into a little I don't even know what that was, 925 00:53:26,200 --> 00:53:26,759 Speaker 1: but it was something. 926 00:53:28,080 --> 00:53:28,279 Speaker 2: Yeah. 927 00:53:29,239 --> 00:53:29,680 Speaker 3: Is that good? 928 00:53:31,320 --> 00:53:34,200 Speaker 1: Well? Anyway, if you want to hear this full conversation, 929 00:53:34,360 --> 00:53:36,560 Speaker 1: you can sign up to become a premium member at 930 00:53:36,760 --> 00:53:41,359 Speaker 1: Therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com or find the link 931 00:53:41,520 --> 00:53:46,719 Speaker 1: in the episode description that's therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. 932 00:53:47,120 --> 00:53:49,719 Speaker 1: All right, I have nothing else to say. 933 00:53:52,080 --> 00:53:55,160 Speaker 3: On the line making nine. 934 00:53:56,120 --> 00:54:00,239 Speaker 5: Goes he's teaching you loud in the movie line, it's 935 00:54:00,280 --> 00:54:00,320 Speaker 5: not 936 00:54:00,600 --> 00:54:01,920 Speaker 1: Really an expert