1 00:00:00,520 --> 00:00:02,800 Speaker 1: Hey guys, I'm Kaylie Shore and this is too much 2 00:00:02,840 --> 00:00:19,440 Speaker 1: to say it out you. Okay, So before we even 3 00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:22,000 Speaker 1: get started on this week's episode, I want to, um 4 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:24,919 Speaker 1: give a trigger warning. We're going to be discussing, um, 5 00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:30,880 Speaker 1: sexual assault and consent and the lines arounding it abuse whatnot. 6 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:33,519 Speaker 1: So if that is not for you this week, that 7 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:38,560 Speaker 1: is totally fine, absolutely understand. I will see you next week. Now, 8 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:41,159 Speaker 1: for those of you who are comfortable going on this ride, 9 00:00:41,159 --> 00:00:44,040 Speaker 1: about as comfortable as one can be talking about sticky 10 00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:48,599 Speaker 1: situations and subjects like this, UM, here we go. So 11 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:52,520 Speaker 1: I wanted to discuss the idea of toxic feminism. UM. 12 00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:55,640 Speaker 1: I think it's something that's permeated the cause. I think 13 00:00:56,160 --> 00:01:00,840 Speaker 1: it's something that affects women, UM and especially groups of women. 14 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:03,680 Speaker 1: And I see a lot of it on the internet 15 00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:06,000 Speaker 1: and I've also felt a lot of it personally. And 16 00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:09,760 Speaker 1: it is in some situations it can be just as 17 00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:13,880 Speaker 1: detrimental to our cause as actual misogyny and you know, 18 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:19,760 Speaker 1: UM supporting the patriarchy. It's it's this particular type of 19 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:26,360 Speaker 1: feminism that involves things like hypocrisy or not inclusion including minorities, 20 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:30,839 Speaker 1: or virtue signaling or just you know, muddying the cause 21 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:34,039 Speaker 1: and muneying the you know, being a bad example of 22 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:36,839 Speaker 1: what a feminist is. Because the thing is, if you're 23 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:39,560 Speaker 1: fighting for a cause that not everybody's on board with, 24 00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:46,080 Speaker 1: I think it's your responsibility to not be not feed 25 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:48,960 Speaker 1: into the stereotypes that the opposing side thinks you are. 26 00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:53,000 Speaker 1: So if you're a feminist, don't be a fucking man hater. 27 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:56,160 Speaker 1: You know, mssandry is a real thing. That's actually something 28 00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:58,760 Speaker 1: that people confuse with feminism very often, as far as 29 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:02,720 Speaker 1: people you know, on the opposed inside who aren't feminists. Um, 30 00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:06,040 Speaker 1: the Merriam Webster definition is simply the advocacy of women's 31 00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:08,280 Speaker 1: rights on the basis of the equality of the sexiest. 32 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:14,560 Speaker 1: That's it. That's literally, and it is not saying. There's 33 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:16,640 Speaker 1: also a quote by Tom Robbins which I'm sure you 34 00:02:16,639 --> 00:02:19,639 Speaker 1: could argue a lot of these things are like opinions 35 00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:21,440 Speaker 1: I have, So don't take any of this as like, 36 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:24,560 Speaker 1: you know, I'm just trying to discuss something and you know, 37 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:26,280 Speaker 1: I'm gonna this is kind of a hard topic to 38 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:28,880 Speaker 1: talk about, so just take everything I say with a 39 00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:31,040 Speaker 1: little bit of a gram assualt. But there's a quote 40 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:34,160 Speaker 1: that may not apply to everything, but I do like it, 41 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:37,600 Speaker 1: and it's by Tom Robbins, and it basically says equality 42 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:42,640 Speaker 1: is not treating different people equally, it's treating different people differently. 43 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:47,680 Speaker 1: And I think that's very accurate. Like the point is 44 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:53,320 Speaker 1: like by including um, you know, like like affirmative action. 45 00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:57,799 Speaker 1: If you're talking about colleges making it a point to 46 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:02,520 Speaker 1: admit more minority students, Well, yeah, we have to do 47 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:05,960 Speaker 1: that because we're we're correcting for the years of privilege 48 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,720 Speaker 1: that they don't have. You know, like two generations back, 49 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:12,920 Speaker 1: there's very few black people who went to Harvard, so 50 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,840 Speaker 1: you don't have those generations of you know, that's how 51 00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:18,079 Speaker 1: you can into schools like that, you know, So it's 52 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:21,440 Speaker 1: just correcting that. And that's that's equality is trying to 53 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:24,600 Speaker 1: give these same opportunities by treating them differently than you're 54 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:27,440 Speaker 1: treating white people. So that's a little bit of a sidebar, 55 00:03:27,560 --> 00:03:30,400 Speaker 1: but I like that quote and I think it's um 56 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:34,600 Speaker 1: really applies to what my personal, you know, interpretation of 57 00:03:34,639 --> 00:03:38,160 Speaker 1: feminism is. And feminism has done a lot. I think 58 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:41,800 Speaker 1: that it helps men just as much as it helps women. Um, 59 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:46,360 Speaker 1: there's a lot when you talk about toxic masculinity. It's 60 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:50,640 Speaker 1: not immediately attacking men. It's not saying, you know, all 61 00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:52,960 Speaker 1: men are bad and toxic and whatnot. It's just that 62 00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:58,080 Speaker 1: our society has widely embraced this concept of masculinity that 63 00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:03,440 Speaker 1: hurts men. It allows them or it forbids them from feeling, 64 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:08,920 Speaker 1: it forbids them from expressing their emotions and even more. 65 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:13,120 Speaker 1: And like, also on the topic of sexual assault, the 66 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:16,880 Speaker 1: way that we view the like men who are assaulted 67 00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:20,599 Speaker 1: is so different than women, and it's really fucked up 68 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:23,800 Speaker 1: because men are victims of sexual assault too. And you know, 69 00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:27,839 Speaker 1: like let's say, um, there's a there's a TV show 70 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:32,720 Speaker 1: called a Teacher on FX and um it's about a 71 00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:37,160 Speaker 1: high school student who like has a quote unquote relationship 72 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:39,320 Speaker 1: with his teacher, but in retrospect he realizes that he 73 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:42,799 Speaker 1: was like heavily groomed and actually assaulted by her, and 74 00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:45,200 Speaker 1: everybody in the show when he goes to college and 75 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:46,880 Speaker 1: they know who he is because I saw him in 76 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:49,440 Speaker 1: the news, they're like, oh my god, he banged your teacher, 77 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:54,040 Speaker 1: and like he's like yeah, and then he's like, well, actually, 78 00:04:54,279 --> 00:04:56,880 Speaker 1: you know kind of kind of was was raped by her, 79 00:04:56,960 --> 00:05:00,320 Speaker 1: but sure, you know, and like it's just complet eatly 80 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:03,800 Speaker 1: he's not. And then even the teacher is like kind 81 00:05:03,839 --> 00:05:07,120 Speaker 1: of fetishized by men that she goes on dates with 82 00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:10,320 Speaker 1: when she gets out of prison, and really she's a pedophile. 83 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:14,160 Speaker 1: And so it's like toxic masculinity hurts men just as 84 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:15,680 Speaker 1: much as it hurts women, because it's like, well, why 85 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:17,400 Speaker 1: wouldn't he want to have sex with her? That's like 86 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:22,680 Speaker 1: a conquest, that's whatever. And it's really sad because I 87 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:26,520 Speaker 1: know men who have been it's actually assaulted, and it 88 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:30,040 Speaker 1: works with them just as much as it does with women. However, 89 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:35,680 Speaker 1: we have a massive support system just by the nature 90 00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:38,960 Speaker 1: of of being around other women. But how many guys 91 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:42,080 Speaker 1: feel comfortable talking to their guy friends about that, especially 92 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:44,919 Speaker 1: when their guy friends might just be like, oh, that's true, 93 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:47,560 Speaker 1: and and that's exactly what happened in the show when 94 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:50,000 Speaker 1: it was a really accurate representation of something like that. 95 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:53,919 Speaker 1: So some of the specific types of toxic feminism that 96 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:59,400 Speaker 1: I've seen are you know, I'm gonna be talking about 97 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:03,080 Speaker 1: specifically some some female friendships I've had in the past 98 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:08,719 Speaker 1: where um, they have taken the side of the abuser. 99 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,680 Speaker 1: That's something I have a very low tolerance for um 100 00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:14,880 Speaker 1: someone to speak pretty strongly, But I'm mostly referring to 101 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:19,560 Speaker 1: like the experience that I've had with that, and I 102 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:23,000 Speaker 1: think a lot of girls have. If you've been in 103 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:28,119 Speaker 1: a toxic relationship or an abusive one both usually both 104 00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:31,400 Speaker 1: um and you know, talking to other women and not 105 00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:34,960 Speaker 1: being believed or having it kind of waved away because 106 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:37,680 Speaker 1: that's the last place you expect that to happen. So 107 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:40,000 Speaker 1: if you can finde in a friend and you tell 108 00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:44,080 Speaker 1: them something about a guy and they're like really, like, 109 00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:47,200 Speaker 1: he's never been like that? To me, it's it's the 110 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:50,320 Speaker 1: worst because you went there thinking it's a safe space. 111 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:57,400 Speaker 1: But also in my experience, it's not. The women I've 112 00:06:57,440 --> 00:07:00,760 Speaker 1: seen do that are the same ones who where the 113 00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:03,479 Speaker 1: pussy hats and go to the you know, women's march 114 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:06,960 Speaker 1: and have a blast and post all these instagrams and 115 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:11,280 Speaker 1: like are constantly like going off on Twitter. I am 116 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:14,520 Speaker 1: someone who constantly goes off on Twitter. Okay, I'm not 117 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:17,400 Speaker 1: saying that that's like inherently a negative thing, but it's 118 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:19,080 Speaker 1: like if you're going to do that back at the 119 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:23,040 Speaker 1: funk Up, you know, and uh yeah, it's like the 120 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:26,520 Speaker 1: memes of like the girls holding hands and being like 121 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:30,120 Speaker 1: her sixth sense, it's not your failure. And then meanwhile, 122 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:34,080 Speaker 1: you know, they turned around and they talk about everybody 123 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:38,080 Speaker 1: who's their competition, and it's like, just like pick one, 124 00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:41,320 Speaker 1: either be shitty or don't be shitty, Like you can't. 125 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:45,480 Speaker 1: You can't instruct other people on how to be a 126 00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:49,000 Speaker 1: feminist and try to like be a leader and talk 127 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:51,240 Speaker 1: about it like you know what you're talking about, and 128 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:54,160 Speaker 1: then absolutely not practice what you preach, and truthfully, it 129 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:56,680 Speaker 1: comes off as really preachy, Like this particular type of 130 00:07:56,720 --> 00:08:00,880 Speaker 1: person comes off as really preachy and patre nizing, and 131 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:03,600 Speaker 1: then they are absolutely not putting it into practice. So 132 00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:07,240 Speaker 1: it's like and if anybody knows them and they're you 133 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:10,320 Speaker 1: know again on the opposing side, they're going to see 134 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:12,360 Speaker 1: that person and be like, well, you're not living like that. 135 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:17,240 Speaker 1: That's like so stupid feminism is bullshit, and then we're 136 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:22,320 Speaker 1: continually set back. Um. I think there's a lot of 137 00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:29,120 Speaker 1: hypocrisy on like within toxic feminism, a lot of um 138 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:32,840 Speaker 1: for example, okay, this is something that that piste me 139 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:36,440 Speaker 1: off when it happened, but um, you know, there's the 140 00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:40,840 Speaker 1: whole Believe Women movement, and that was a result of 141 00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:44,160 Speaker 1: me too. Um, I'm going to share some some facts 142 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:47,120 Speaker 1: and figures because I think this is important. Um, when 143 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:53,040 Speaker 1: it comes to rape and sexual assault, people often immediately 144 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:55,040 Speaker 1: go to like the side of the skeptic being like, 145 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:58,560 Speaker 1: well did that happen, like you know what, what were 146 00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:00,920 Speaker 1: the circumstances around it it? Or like I need I 147 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:03,560 Speaker 1: need to know, like you know, oh, I've never seen 148 00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:06,480 Speaker 1: them be like that whatever, And you know, I've been 149 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:09,040 Speaker 1: guilty of that as well. And truthfully, it was a 150 00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:12,800 Speaker 1: lot more guilty of being skeptical about people's stories before 151 00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:16,120 Speaker 1: I was sexually assaulted. So after having that happened, I 152 00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:19,439 Speaker 1: was like, Oh, people don't bring people don't make this up. 153 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:23,240 Speaker 1: They don't. They don't do that. And um, it's actually 154 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:27,439 Speaker 1: like a fact. It's very very few, very very few 155 00:09:27,559 --> 00:09:32,200 Speaker 1: false reports of rape occur. Um. They estimate the number 156 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:36,560 Speaker 1: to be between two percent and at max ten percent. 157 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:40,480 Speaker 1: But the following studies are the most reliable, and this 158 00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:43,040 Speaker 1: is what they say. So A multi sided study of 159 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:46,199 Speaker 1: eight US communities including two thousand and fifty nine cases 160 00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:49,200 Speaker 1: of sexual assault, found a seven point one percent rate 161 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:52,640 Speaker 1: of false reports. A study of a d thirty six 162 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:56,120 Speaker 1: sexual assault cases in Boston from two thousand and seven 163 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:59,360 Speaker 1: found a five point nine percent right of false reports 164 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:05,920 Speaker 1: and and using qualitative and quantitative wow Bigwards analysis researchers 165 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:08,480 Speaker 1: studied eight and twelve reports of sexual assault from two 166 00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:11,000 Speaker 1: thousand to two thousand three and found a two point 167 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:14,920 Speaker 1: one percent rate of false reports. And also another thing 168 00:10:15,679 --> 00:10:19,720 Speaker 1: is how do you even prove it? That's that's the 169 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:22,320 Speaker 1: reason why I believe women became a phrase is it's 170 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:25,640 Speaker 1: like you don't always have evidence, you know, I mean, 171 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:29,080 Speaker 1: the point is that it happened. You know, most rapes 172 00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:32,640 Speaker 1: were just when you were alone with somebody, and you 173 00:10:32,679 --> 00:10:34,240 Speaker 1: know that person is probably not going to be quick 174 00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:37,400 Speaker 1: to confess, and even if they do, it doesn't mean anything. 175 00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:42,800 Speaker 1: I mean, to be completely honest, guys, UM, I press 176 00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:48,000 Speaker 1: charges against somebody. Um, after that happened because I had 177 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:54,480 Speaker 1: heard that Um he was out there being really weird 178 00:10:54,559 --> 00:10:56,920 Speaker 1: to other women. And you have a four day window. 179 00:10:57,000 --> 00:11:00,200 Speaker 1: This is my experience with reporting, right, UM, you have 180 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:02,280 Speaker 1: a four day window to decide if you want to 181 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:06,920 Speaker 1: press charges and to get your rape kit done. UM. 182 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:09,760 Speaker 1: I asked around after it happened to a couple of 183 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:11,520 Speaker 1: friends and have been like, hey, UM, have you ever 184 00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:14,040 Speaker 1: heard anything about this guy and they were like, oh 185 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:15,840 Speaker 1: my god, Yeah, he did this super weird thing to 186 00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:17,880 Speaker 1: my friend a couple of weeks ago, or like he 187 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:20,840 Speaker 1: was like stalking her or whatever. And I was like, okay, cool, 188 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:25,640 Speaker 1: So I don't necessarily want to do this, especially because 189 00:11:25,679 --> 00:11:27,760 Speaker 1: you know, um, if it goes to trial, it could 190 00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:30,520 Speaker 1: end up in tabloids because of the nature of my 191 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:35,040 Speaker 1: job and my personal business could be everywhere. And I 192 00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:36,600 Speaker 1: was like, I don't want to do this. I don't 193 00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:42,120 Speaker 1: know if you know, going to trial would um make 194 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,199 Speaker 1: me feel any better. The only thing that made me 195 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:48,800 Speaker 1: feel better was therapy and you know, my close friendships 196 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:52,679 Speaker 1: and you know time. Um. But I was like, I'm 197 00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:54,080 Speaker 1: not going to let him get away with this ship, 198 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:58,480 Speaker 1: especially if he's out there doing it to other women. Um. 199 00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:03,439 Speaker 1: But he confessed to it in a text message um 200 00:12:03,559 --> 00:12:07,320 Speaker 1: the next day, and um, we also sent me flowers 201 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:08,840 Speaker 1: the next day. That was the most fucked up thing 202 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:10,840 Speaker 1: I think has ever happened to me. And there's a 203 00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:13,400 Speaker 1: lot of fund up things, but um, the morning after 204 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:16,400 Speaker 1: it happened, he sent flowers to my fucking house, Like 205 00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:20,360 Speaker 1: who's were able to reade? And he texted me and 206 00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:22,800 Speaker 1: confessed and So when I did my police report four 207 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:27,960 Speaker 1: days later, I had an incredibly of invasive UM rape 208 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:32,640 Speaker 1: kit done, which if you've had one done or you 209 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:35,480 Speaker 1: have heard about it on CSI or whatnot, it's like, 210 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:39,400 Speaker 1: you know, you just had something traumatic happen, and then 211 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:41,600 Speaker 1: all of a sudden, everybody's poking around and it's like 212 00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:46,680 Speaker 1: really really awful, and like, no girl wants to fucking 213 00:12:46,679 --> 00:12:48,880 Speaker 1: go through that. Why would you lie about it? You know? 214 00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:52,840 Speaker 1: And so I have all of this I have. You know, 215 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:58,120 Speaker 1: there's there's DNA evidence, there's a confession, and it's been 216 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:01,959 Speaker 1: been over two years and um, nothing's come of it. 217 00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:05,640 Speaker 1: I talked to the detective twice and it's literally in 218 00:13:05,679 --> 00:13:10,360 Speaker 1: the report that there's like written evidence and of a confession, 219 00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:13,240 Speaker 1: which is just crazy. So like that's how broken the 220 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:18,359 Speaker 1: system is. And I think, like, I have a confession 221 00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:21,240 Speaker 1: and it hasn't even gone, like it hasn't even progressed. 222 00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:22,640 Speaker 1: They told me that I wasn't gonna get my right 223 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:25,600 Speaker 1: kit back for six months because that they were so 224 00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:28,960 Speaker 1: backed up. And the only reason I reported was because 225 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:32,400 Speaker 1: I was like, this guy's out there right now doing 226 00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:35,640 Speaker 1: shit like this, And the scariest thing for me is 227 00:13:35,679 --> 00:13:38,760 Speaker 1: you know, I've done my healing and I've i've you know, 228 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:41,160 Speaker 1: done therapy, and I'm at a place where I'm comfortable 229 00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:44,079 Speaker 1: talking about it now. I wasn't for a really long time. 230 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:45,920 Speaker 1: But the only reason I can do this episode is 231 00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:49,720 Speaker 1: because I'm comfortable as comfortable as one can be talking 232 00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:55,320 Speaker 1: about it. Um. But the thing that that makes me 233 00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:59,000 Speaker 1: the most upset now is like, how many more girls 234 00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:02,400 Speaker 1: has he done that too? Since I reported it? And 235 00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:04,600 Speaker 1: that's the only reason I did it. I didn't do 236 00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:08,040 Speaker 1: it for attention like people think that women report it for. 237 00:14:08,559 --> 00:14:10,640 Speaker 1: I didn't do it for money like people think women 238 00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:14,280 Speaker 1: report it for. I didn't do it too sully his 239 00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:17,840 Speaker 1: reputation like people think women do it for. I only 240 00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:23,480 Speaker 1: did it to protect other women. And I was not 241 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:26,960 Speaker 1: very successful in that, So thank you to the National 242 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:30,800 Speaker 1: Police Department. And yeah, it's really fucked up anyways. So 243 00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:33,640 Speaker 1: all I can do is just you know. But I 244 00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:38,480 Speaker 1: also have warned girls I know who've hung out around 245 00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:42,080 Speaker 1: this guy that you know, to watch out. And I 246 00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:44,440 Speaker 1: had told one of my friends because I was like, Hey, 247 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:46,400 Speaker 1: I saw you with this guy on Instagram. Just wanted 248 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:48,960 Speaker 1: to give your heads up, like whatever, because there and 249 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,000 Speaker 1: I had gotten really close and she told me this 250 00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:53,800 Speaker 1: story about something really fucking horrific he did to her 251 00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:55,880 Speaker 1: that was really sketchy and it didn't necessarily go as 252 00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:59,320 Speaker 1: far as my situation, but it's still awful, and I 253 00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:01,720 Speaker 1: was just like, he's just out here just doing this 254 00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:04,640 Speaker 1: and getting away with it, and it's incredibly frustrating. So 255 00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:09,840 Speaker 1: all of that being said, false reports are so rare, 256 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:14,000 Speaker 1: and they are so much closer like and also like 257 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:18,000 Speaker 1: as far as inconsistencies in a victim statement, you're just 258 00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:20,480 Speaker 1: you've just been traumatized and it's really hard to remember, 259 00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:23,240 Speaker 1: and a lot of times alcohol was involved, but like 260 00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:27,240 Speaker 1: you know, when something bad happened, and also the arguments 261 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:30,400 Speaker 1: made like well like maybe like she just regretted it 262 00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:34,120 Speaker 1: after or like maybe it was just like a miscommunication 263 00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:38,400 Speaker 1: or whatever, and coming from the like, I've talked to 264 00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:40,440 Speaker 1: so many of my friends about this, So this might 265 00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:43,760 Speaker 1: not be everybody's experience, but every girl I've talked to 266 00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:46,720 Speaker 1: that I'm close friends with, like, if you have been 267 00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:49,920 Speaker 1: sexually active in your twenties and you drink alcohol, you 268 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,240 Speaker 1: have had a weird encounter where you've woken up the 269 00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:55,200 Speaker 1: next morning and you've been like I wish I hadn't 270 00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:59,800 Speaker 1: done that. That's fucking different. That is different than you 271 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:04,960 Speaker 1: saying no and no again and no again and then 272 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:09,280 Speaker 1: them doing it and you're saying no and them not stopping. 273 00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:13,720 Speaker 1: Those are different things, and the former can be kind 274 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:19,480 Speaker 1: of traumatizing as well, but like it's different, you know, 275 00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:23,440 Speaker 1: it's different, and um, there's you know, rape and sexual 276 00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:27,400 Speaker 1: assault and sexual harassment is a giant spectrum. But you know, 277 00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:30,600 Speaker 1: girls know the difference. They know when something's hostile, and 278 00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:34,400 Speaker 1: they know when something's just like messy, you know, just 279 00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:37,560 Speaker 1: kind of awkward, Like you know the difference and in 280 00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:40,720 Speaker 1: your body knows the difference. So it's like nobody's lying 281 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:57,440 Speaker 1: about it. So all of that being said, um god, 282 00:16:58,040 --> 00:16:59,800 Speaker 1: I'm drinking a seltzer water of them and need a 283 00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:02,680 Speaker 1: glad the one after this one. Um, all of that 284 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:07,000 Speaker 1: being said, women who don't believe other women are trash. 285 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:10,640 Speaker 1: And you don't have to take like everybody's fucking word 286 00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:13,440 Speaker 1: for it at face vale. You don't have to immediately 287 00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:16,480 Speaker 1: like jump down a guy's throat, like obviously there's still 288 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:19,560 Speaker 1: two to of people who were lying, but the vast 289 00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:23,080 Speaker 1: majority of women aren't. They aren't at all, and so 290 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:26,000 Speaker 1: especially if like one of your friends tells you, why 291 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,359 Speaker 1: would your friend fucking lie to you? Like, just do 292 00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:33,600 Speaker 1: the math. Okay, there's a there's that max a ten 293 00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:36,119 Speaker 1: percent chance they're lying to you. And if you're friends 294 00:17:36,119 --> 00:17:38,800 Speaker 1: with somebody, you probably wouldn't know by then if they 295 00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:41,720 Speaker 1: were a liar or not. So do the math there, 296 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:45,119 Speaker 1: and then it just goes down more and more. And 297 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:47,439 Speaker 1: so like if you take the time to go to 298 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:49,680 Speaker 1: your friend and say like, hey, like I just wanted 299 00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:52,679 Speaker 1: to warn you about this guy, or you tell us 300 00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:54,560 Speaker 1: you're just telling a story, You're like, hey, this happened 301 00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:56,840 Speaker 1: to me, Like how sad is this? And they're just like, wow, 302 00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:59,320 Speaker 1: that's so weird, Like he's just never been that way 303 00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:01,240 Speaker 1: around me. It's like, well, yeah, have you ever been 304 00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:06,000 Speaker 1: like drunk in his house with them alone? No? Okay, cool, 305 00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:10,080 Speaker 1: that's why it hasn't happened to you. And especially that 306 00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:16,639 Speaker 1: happened to me a lot after I um was physically 307 00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:20,359 Speaker 1: abused by this guy that I was dating, and I 308 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:24,679 Speaker 1: had some really fucking close friends, like my best friends 309 00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:30,640 Speaker 1: on the planet, like matching tattoo best friends. And actually 310 00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:35,720 Speaker 1: there were three people present when it happened so there 311 00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:38,520 Speaker 1: was no question that I was lying or not. Like 312 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:41,800 Speaker 1: they were there, they heard it happen from the other room. 313 00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:45,000 Speaker 1: It was like, what, what more evidence do you need? 314 00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:49,359 Speaker 1: And like they still ended up choosing this guy, And 315 00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:52,160 Speaker 1: that was a really hard thing for me to accept 316 00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:56,080 Speaker 1: because I lost all these friends to the person who 317 00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:58,560 Speaker 1: had been most awful to me on the planet, and 318 00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:01,240 Speaker 1: I didn't understand it. And then what I didn't understand 319 00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:05,760 Speaker 1: was them posting all these feminist memes during the Me 320 00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:10,280 Speaker 1: Too movement and and saying things like believe women and like, well, 321 00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:14,359 Speaker 1: you know, your friends with a fucking abuser, like you 322 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:17,280 Speaker 1: hang out with them? What are you? What are you 323 00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:21,159 Speaker 1: trying to say? And that's just that's fucking toxic feminism 324 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:25,880 Speaker 1: and you know, oh my god, it's just it's really hard. 325 00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:28,240 Speaker 1: And so that's a you know, virtue signaling. And maybe 326 00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:30,440 Speaker 1: it comes from a place of guilt. Maybe they know 327 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,360 Speaker 1: that they've been awful to other women and so they 328 00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:36,479 Speaker 1: feel the need to like overcorrect it on social media. 329 00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:38,840 Speaker 1: But I swear to God, if I have to see 330 00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:43,040 Speaker 1: somebody like these women posting this ship, it's got big 331 00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:47,320 Speaker 1: pick me girl, like pick me energy, like big pick 332 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:51,159 Speaker 1: me energy, and I don't know what it is. I 333 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:55,600 Speaker 1: did see somebody comment on my song Amy Um and 334 00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:59,400 Speaker 1: say a quote that was like, abusers are just as 335 00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:05,360 Speaker 1: good at manipulating their character witnesses as they are their victims. 336 00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:09,040 Speaker 1: So I mean there's some people in that situation with 337 00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:12,080 Speaker 1: my ex boyfriend that I look at and I'm like, Okay, 338 00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:16,520 Speaker 1: you were most likely a victim of this too, um, 339 00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:18,320 Speaker 1: And that gives me a little bit more empathy, but 340 00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:23,080 Speaker 1: like not really a whole lot, you know, but it's 341 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:26,440 Speaker 1: just like, don't call yourself a feminist that you know, Like, 342 00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:28,760 Speaker 1: if you're gonna be a pick me girl, don't call 343 00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:34,879 Speaker 1: yourself a feminist. And um. I also had another situation 344 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:39,720 Speaker 1: where my friend was Um started dating this guy and 345 00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:45,800 Speaker 1: some really dark energy started to omit from him, and 346 00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:50,840 Speaker 1: I started to recognize some patterns that I've seen before. 347 00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:53,919 Speaker 1: At That's the hard thing is like when you go 348 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:58,160 Speaker 1: through some trauma and you suspect people of it moving forward, 349 00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:01,480 Speaker 1: people will be like, well, you're just a cool It's like, no, 350 00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:05,120 Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm not looking for the worst and everybody. 351 00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:07,879 Speaker 1: I just recognized the red flags a lot fucking faster 352 00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:10,879 Speaker 1: because I have to protect myself so I noticed some 353 00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:13,639 Speaker 1: red flags. And around that time that was happening, I 354 00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:19,400 Speaker 1: heard a story about, um, this this guy being involved 355 00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:25,600 Speaker 1: in like a sexual assault situation. And I had kind 356 00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:29,560 Speaker 1: of drifted apart from this friend, but I told another friend, Hey, um, 357 00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:32,640 Speaker 1: allegedly I cannot stress something down to use the word allegedly, 358 00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:36,560 Speaker 1: but I was like, allegedly this guy did this. Just 359 00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:42,000 Speaker 1: keep an eye out for um, anything that you see happening. 360 00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:44,080 Speaker 1: I don't really want to tell her. I don't think 361 00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:46,240 Speaker 1: I need to involve myself that I want someone to 362 00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:49,119 Speaker 1: have this information in case things start to go south 363 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:53,480 Speaker 1: and you know, like what he allegedly is capable of 364 00:21:53,800 --> 00:22:00,400 Speaker 1: and whatnot. And like women without the whisper network, there's 365 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:03,000 Speaker 1: so many like that's the only way you can avoid 366 00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:05,600 Speaker 1: this horrible ship is like the whisper work. And that's 367 00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:10,320 Speaker 1: that's women telling other women when somebody's sketchy or when 368 00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:12,240 Speaker 1: somebody is a rapist. You know, like even if you 369 00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:13,840 Speaker 1: just get a weird vibe from somebody and you went 370 00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:15,240 Speaker 1: on a date with them and they said some fucked 371 00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:19,120 Speaker 1: up ship too, you know you actually were raped by them. 372 00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:23,040 Speaker 1: That's that's the whisper network is so necessary. So I 373 00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:26,320 Speaker 1: will always reserve my right as a woman to tell 374 00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:29,040 Speaker 1: another woman when I heard something bad like that, and like, 375 00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:32,679 Speaker 1: could it be untrue? Yes, there's about a two percent 376 00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:37,239 Speaker 1: chance that it's untrue, so you know, and I use 377 00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:40,080 Speaker 1: the word allegedly, so anyway, so I tell her this, 378 00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:41,639 Speaker 1: and I was like, just you know, keep this in 379 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:43,280 Speaker 1: the back of your mind if you because you're the 380 00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:48,080 Speaker 1: only person around now who can recognize this behavior, and 381 00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:50,879 Speaker 1: you know, keep her safe because I can't know because 382 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:56,159 Speaker 1: we're not friends. And apparently it's just turned around and 383 00:22:56,200 --> 00:23:00,600 Speaker 1: like told the guy and now like I it's just 384 00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:04,960 Speaker 1: crazy to me. And then these girls are the people 385 00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:08,639 Speaker 1: who are on social media talking about me too, talking 386 00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:13,160 Speaker 1: about believe women and all of this stuff. And it's like, okay, well, 387 00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:15,560 Speaker 1: you can't just believe women when it's convenient for you, 388 00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:19,280 Speaker 1: Like you can't just think rape is not a women's issue. 389 00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:22,600 Speaker 1: Rape is not a women's issue. It's a men's issue. 390 00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:25,840 Speaker 1: Women aren't doing anything wrong, it's the men who are 391 00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:30,560 Speaker 1: doing it. And also, you know women, let's say it's 392 00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:33,160 Speaker 1: the abuser's problem. That's what I'm trying to say. It's 393 00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:35,960 Speaker 1: not a victim's issue. It is an abuser's problem, and 394 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:39,920 Speaker 1: the abusers can be men and women. But just from 395 00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:42,200 Speaker 1: not trying to make a sweeping generalization, but just from 396 00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:45,119 Speaker 1: like a you know, percentage standpoint, I believe that the 397 00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:49,359 Speaker 1: percentage of UM perpetrators that our male it's like in 398 00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:54,200 Speaker 1: the nineties. It's like, so just saying that, I don't wanna, 399 00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:55,679 Speaker 1: you know, I want to be careful with the language 400 00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:58,480 Speaker 1: I use here, but you know, it's a it's a 401 00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:02,560 Speaker 1: men's issue, and it's the thing we need to be 402 00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:05,600 Speaker 1: teaching people is in self defense and like how to 403 00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:08,160 Speaker 1: protect yourself and all of that. Like I mean, obviously 404 00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:10,920 Speaker 1: we have to, but we shouldn't be having to, because 405 00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:13,960 Speaker 1: we should be teaching men not to rape. And the 406 00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:17,400 Speaker 1: only way you're going to get past that is if 407 00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:21,000 Speaker 1: you acknowledge that you might know a fucking rapist, you 408 00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:24,280 Speaker 1: might be friends with one, you might have dated one. 409 00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:28,040 Speaker 1: Like these guys aren't just lurking in the corners like 410 00:24:28,119 --> 00:24:32,440 Speaker 1: fucking creeps and you know, waiting to rape a girl 411 00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:34,560 Speaker 1: in an alley with a gun to her head. That's 412 00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:38,879 Speaker 1: not what they're doing. They're charming and charismatic. I mean, 413 00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:41,639 Speaker 1: hello Ted Bundy, you know, and a lot of them 414 00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:45,680 Speaker 1: are narcissistants. So they're really good at at being charming 415 00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:50,080 Speaker 1: and winning people over. They have friends, they have sisters, 416 00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:54,359 Speaker 1: they have girlfriends, they go to church. They're not these 417 00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:57,720 Speaker 1: like masked figures that you know. And you hear this 418 00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:00,000 Speaker 1: all the time, like when you hear guys talk about 419 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:02,640 Speaker 1: it and they're like, there's nobody worse than a fucking rapists, 420 00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:04,480 Speaker 1: Like I would fucking kill a guy, blah blah blah. 421 00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:07,360 Speaker 1: And it's like the image that people have in their 422 00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:10,480 Speaker 1: heads of a rapist is a guy in a scheme 423 00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:14,400 Speaker 1: mask with a gun, and it's simply not that. It's 424 00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:17,600 Speaker 1: a guy in chelsea boots and an urban outfitter sweater 425 00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:21,240 Speaker 1: who bought you a glass of wine and then put 426 00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:24,160 Speaker 1: something in it. You know, Like that's what it is, 427 00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:28,679 Speaker 1: and we need to acknowledge that. And so by knowing 428 00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:31,080 Speaker 1: a guy and hearing these accusations and just because you're 429 00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:32,960 Speaker 1: friends with him, you're like, oh, well, you know, I've 430 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,240 Speaker 1: never seen him be like that. Of course you haven't 431 00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:39,240 Speaker 1: seen him be like that. Of course you haven't. It's 432 00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:43,040 Speaker 1: so upsetting, and like that just sets that sets the 433 00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:46,639 Speaker 1: whole thing back so far, and you don't need to 434 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:50,720 Speaker 1: blindly believe people. But I'm telling you from looking at 435 00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:54,920 Speaker 1: the fucking statistics, there's a two percent chance that this 436 00:25:54,960 --> 00:26:00,440 Speaker 1: person is lying a two percent chance, so nine percent 437 00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:03,639 Speaker 1: of you should believe them. And you're not going to 438 00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:07,520 Speaker 1: get evidence, like I'm sorry, there's no video of it. 439 00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:09,520 Speaker 1: If there was, what you want to watch it? No, 440 00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:13,120 Speaker 1: but that like you're not gonna get the answers. Also, 441 00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:15,640 Speaker 1: it's not the victim's responsibility to provide you with answers 442 00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:21,040 Speaker 1: and describe to you what you know went down. Just anyways, 443 00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:23,600 Speaker 1: so fucked up. So that's how I feel about that. 444 00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:29,520 Speaker 1: Um onto the next topic. Um. Another side of toxic 445 00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:35,280 Speaker 1: feminism is not including minorities, whether that's women of color 446 00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:39,560 Speaker 1: or you know, trans women. There's a lot of like that. 447 00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:45,960 Speaker 1: The term TURF is trans exclusionary radical feminism. Believe the ARST. 448 00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:51,400 Speaker 1: It's radical, but it's you know, this like vagina power thing, 449 00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:53,720 Speaker 1: and it's like, well, you know, maybe they don't have one. 450 00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:57,800 Speaker 1: But the truth is, like there's a there's a scale 451 00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:01,320 Speaker 1: of privilege here right at the end of the day, Like, yes, 452 00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:04,679 Speaker 1: I'm a woman and I grew up poor and so 453 00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:08,920 Speaker 1: I don't have wealthy privilege or male privilege. But I'm 454 00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:12,320 Speaker 1: still fucking white. I'm still white. It's still white privilege 455 00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:15,679 Speaker 1: all the time. You know, nobody clutches their person when 456 00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:18,120 Speaker 1: I walked by them in a store. I've never not 457 00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:21,520 Speaker 1: gotten a job because they looked at my last name 458 00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:25,639 Speaker 1: and thought I sounded Latina. You know, I just have 459 00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:31,080 Speaker 1: never happened. Nobody's assumed I was a legal immigrant, which 460 00:27:31,119 --> 00:27:33,199 Speaker 1: is a real joke because I'm actually both my parents 461 00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:35,719 Speaker 1: are immigrants, So it's like, but I'm white, so nobody 462 00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:40,359 Speaker 1: questions that. And so it's just absolutely insane when you 463 00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:43,760 Speaker 1: see these white feminists and like that, this archetype of 464 00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:46,560 Speaker 1: a toxic feminist that I'm painting is so many people 465 00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:49,480 Speaker 1: I've seen. It's like all of these little symptoms I'm 466 00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:52,680 Speaker 1: describing to you, it's like they all hold hands and 467 00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:55,320 Speaker 1: come together to make this just giant archetype of a 468 00:27:55,359 --> 00:28:00,920 Speaker 1: horrible woman. And so like, not acknowledgeing that black women 469 00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:04,679 Speaker 1: have it worse than we do is fucked up. Not 470 00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:07,040 Speaker 1: acknowledging that Asian women have it worse than we do. 471 00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:09,400 Speaker 1: There's so many things that happened in these minority communities 472 00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:11,239 Speaker 1: that just simply would not happen to me. Because I'm 473 00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:14,840 Speaker 1: white or at least have a way lesser chance of 474 00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:19,720 Speaker 1: happening to me. Um. Native American women, I mean, the 475 00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:24,359 Speaker 1: statistics surrounding rape and murder in Native American communities of 476 00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:29,639 Speaker 1: women is baffling. And like trans women are, I believe 477 00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:36,480 Speaker 1: the um the highest percentage of likelihood to be murdered 478 00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:42,000 Speaker 1: of anybody on the planet by like, you know, adjusting 479 00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:44,040 Speaker 1: the numbers to considering that, you know, like I think 480 00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:46,640 Speaker 1: there's I mean, obviously there's less trans people than there 481 00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:50,560 Speaker 1: are six gender people, obviously, but like adjusting it just 482 00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:54,680 Speaker 1: by nature of existing. And I have UM one trans friend, 483 00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:58,240 Speaker 1: and the thing about her is like I have trans 484 00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:01,440 Speaker 1: friends who are trans men, meaning they are female to male, 485 00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:03,800 Speaker 1: and then I have transparence who are male to female. 486 00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:07,920 Speaker 1: So for those of you who don't know, trans trans 487 00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:11,920 Speaker 1: men means that they are ultimately now they're ultimately a man, 488 00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:14,720 Speaker 1: and then trans woman meets there ultimately now a woman, 489 00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:18,320 Speaker 1: and so that's what you refer to them as UM. 490 00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:24,600 Speaker 1: But trans people are going to face like prejudice and 491 00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:30,680 Speaker 1: UM be harassed at just completely disproportionate rates. But trans 492 00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:36,080 Speaker 1: women not only do they have transphobia against them, they 493 00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:41,280 Speaker 1: also have misogyny, and so it's like they're getting treated 494 00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:45,040 Speaker 1: so fucking bad. And then black trans women are like, 495 00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:48,240 Speaker 1: I mean, there's the privileged scale and they're like at 496 00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:50,720 Speaker 1: the bottom, and it's so fucking sad. And so if 497 00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:52,920 Speaker 1: you're going to make a cause or make a case 498 00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:55,720 Speaker 1: for feminism and you're gonna post your memes and you're 499 00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:58,840 Speaker 1: gonna use your hashtags and you're gonna re share your 500 00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:03,680 Speaker 1: stories and you know whatever, you got to include everybody, 501 00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:09,280 Speaker 1: because the patriarchy affects trans women to super like affects 502 00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:12,440 Speaker 1: women of color. It's not just white girls. I mean, 503 00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:16,040 Speaker 1: like compared to what a lot of my friends have gone, 504 00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:20,440 Speaker 1: like have gone through that are minorities, Like I'm a 505 00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:22,320 Speaker 1: life's been a walk in the park, and my life 506 00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:24,239 Speaker 1: has not been a fucking walk in the park, you know. 507 00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:28,840 Speaker 1: And like so it's just it's absolutely insane to get 508 00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:31,560 Speaker 1: on your soapbox and then leave out all the people 509 00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:33,600 Speaker 1: who need to be protected the most. And it actually 510 00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:36,640 Speaker 1: reminds me a whole fucking lot of the suffragette movement, 511 00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:41,280 Speaker 1: not song suffragetes, but the getting women to vote, because 512 00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:46,080 Speaker 1: black women helped white women get the vote on the 513 00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:50,160 Speaker 1: assumption and like, you know, agreement that women white women 514 00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:52,880 Speaker 1: would then after they got the right to vote, help 515 00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:56,000 Speaker 1: black women get the vote right to vote, and they didn't. 516 00:30:56,040 --> 00:30:58,320 Speaker 1: They fucking didn't. Black women put in the work and 517 00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:00,800 Speaker 1: did all of this ship just for somebody else to 518 00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:04,040 Speaker 1: get the right to vote. Not every woman was allowed 519 00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:08,480 Speaker 1: to vote when the Suffragettes, you know, when that happened, 520 00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:10,160 Speaker 1: which is only a hundred years ago, which is crazy 521 00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:13,080 Speaker 1: because it was not that fucking long ago. For less 522 00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:16,080 Speaker 1: than half of our country's history, women have been able 523 00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:19,680 Speaker 1: to vote. Like, let's just talk about that. And well 524 00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:22,200 Speaker 1: let's not because I'll just come upon another tangent, but 525 00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:25,640 Speaker 1: let's just let that one simmer. And so it's like 526 00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:27,959 Speaker 1: you have to lift these people up and you have 527 00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:43,600 Speaker 1: to protect them, and people get so fucking annoyed when you, like, 528 00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:47,800 Speaker 1: I always hear this argument where it's like, oh my god, 529 00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:51,040 Speaker 1: people who men straight? Why can't we just say women? 530 00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:54,120 Speaker 1: It's like, well, a lot of a lot of um 531 00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:58,720 Speaker 1: says gender women don't men stright because um, I don't know, 532 00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:02,000 Speaker 1: they're they have menopas or they're like you know, so 533 00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:06,080 Speaker 1: it's like kind of weird to just use blanket statements. 534 00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:08,640 Speaker 1: I mean, like especially when it's like I mean, I 535 00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:11,760 Speaker 1: posted a picture one time several years ago on National 536 00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:15,040 Speaker 1: Women's Day, and it was like of ovaries wearing boxing gloves, 537 00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:18,760 Speaker 1: and I think somebody said something to me about it, 538 00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:20,920 Speaker 1: and it wasn't in like an annoying way, like they weren't. 539 00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:24,400 Speaker 1: They were just like, you know, not all women have ovaries, 540 00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:27,600 Speaker 1: and yeah, some of them don't because they weren't born 541 00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:30,240 Speaker 1: with them because they were born male, and some of 542 00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:32,800 Speaker 1: them don't because they had surgeries. My mom, I think 543 00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:35,640 Speaker 1: my mom gave birth to meet with one ovary. So 544 00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:37,680 Speaker 1: it's just like, okay, yeah, maybe let's not use that 545 00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:40,920 Speaker 1: as a symbol for what being a woman means, you know, 546 00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:44,040 Speaker 1: And like I understand that some people view that as semantics, 547 00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:47,760 Speaker 1: but it's still like just why, why, why do we 548 00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:54,600 Speaker 1: need to co opt that? And so I also think, um, 549 00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:58,880 Speaker 1: a huge part of toxic feminism is refusing and this 550 00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:01,880 Speaker 1: is kind of a different, a different side of toxic feminism. 551 00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:06,400 Speaker 1: I would say that this is UM heading towards mssandry, 552 00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:10,840 Speaker 1: which again is misogyny, but towards men. Hatred of men. 553 00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:19,000 Speaker 1: UM not acknowledging men suffering as a result of the patriarchy, 554 00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:24,719 Speaker 1: Like I was talking about earlier men being rape victims, Um, 555 00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:28,280 Speaker 1: they just don't get taken seriously and women don't get 556 00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:30,640 Speaker 1: taken seriously, and so how seriously do you think men 557 00:33:30,680 --> 00:33:33,480 Speaker 1: are taken? People like fucking laugh at them sometimes when 558 00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:37,680 Speaker 1: they talk about this and think they're kidding, like and 559 00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:40,840 Speaker 1: and men not being able to express their emotion and 560 00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:44,560 Speaker 1: a lot of the you know, I mean when you 561 00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:47,440 Speaker 1: think about think about like the asshole dudes that you 562 00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:49,720 Speaker 1: know who are like constantly getting in bar fights and 563 00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:53,440 Speaker 1: are like awful to their partners and stuff, and then 564 00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:56,440 Speaker 1: think about their dads if you know who their dads are, 565 00:33:57,040 --> 00:34:00,560 Speaker 1: and think about how their dats treated them, like their 566 00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:05,240 Speaker 1: fathers did their sons a disservice by perpetuating toxic masculinity, 567 00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:07,520 Speaker 1: and then it's just a cycle that never ends. And 568 00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:11,560 Speaker 1: like men are affected just as much by it. I 569 00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:15,640 Speaker 1: think women are probably affected on a larger and more scale. 570 00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:18,719 Speaker 1: But like every man is affected by toxic masculinity and 571 00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:23,759 Speaker 1: has things that he can't do or express or you know, 572 00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:27,360 Speaker 1: I mean guys painting their nails and people calling them gay, 573 00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:30,319 Speaker 1: like you know, what's just self expressions? Like what the 574 00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:32,840 Speaker 1: funk you're just painting your nails. It's this hard surface 575 00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:34,960 Speaker 1: on your body that you can decorate if you feel 576 00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:37,600 Speaker 1: like It's like it's like not that different than tattoos, 577 00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:42,520 Speaker 1: just body decoration. Calm the funk down. UM. But yeah, 578 00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:45,479 Speaker 1: I think that the largest way that that comes into 579 00:34:45,480 --> 00:34:50,920 Speaker 1: play is um, you know, especially with sexual assault cases 580 00:34:51,239 --> 00:34:54,400 Speaker 1: UM that are reported by men. UM. And then another 581 00:34:54,440 --> 00:35:00,799 Speaker 1: thing is not acknowledging the roles that women play, Like 582 00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:03,080 Speaker 1: I said, like women holding back the cause by being 583 00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:06,880 Speaker 1: a bad example of feminism and being a hypocrite or 584 00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:09,040 Speaker 1: saying absurd things on the internet that are going to 585 00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:12,759 Speaker 1: get people riled up and are just absolutely not what 586 00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:14,560 Speaker 1: we need to be focusing on. I see that a 587 00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:16,439 Speaker 1: lot as well. I'm like, really, that's what you're gonna 588 00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:20,279 Speaker 1: worry about, Like you're gonna make some of them. Like 589 00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:22,799 Speaker 1: I don't want to go into it because I just 590 00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:24,840 Speaker 1: don't want to argue with people on the internet anymore 591 00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:28,000 Speaker 1: than I already do. But there's a lot of things 592 00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:31,359 Speaker 1: that I see people freaking out about and going on 593 00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:36,960 Speaker 1: long rants about how awful something is and how we 594 00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:39,480 Speaker 1: need to fix that, and it's like, well, maybe we 595 00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:41,320 Speaker 1: and we need to fix the pay gap for herst 596 00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:43,160 Speaker 1: or like maybe we need to fix the whole like 597 00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:46,080 Speaker 1: trans women getting murdered thing first, Like maybe we could 598 00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:49,880 Speaker 1: like discuss the usage of a word later after we 599 00:35:50,040 --> 00:35:53,440 Speaker 1: fix the fact that people are dying, Like let's do 600 00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:57,000 Speaker 1: that first, and then we'll do all all of that. 601 00:35:57,080 --> 00:35:58,640 Speaker 1: So it's like ship like that. I feel like hold 602 00:35:58,719 --> 00:36:02,960 Speaker 1: us back because then people who oppose the cause can 603 00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:07,240 Speaker 1: take one little thing that some feminists somewhere said, twist 604 00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:09,520 Speaker 1: it and make that seem like that's our entire argument. 605 00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:11,359 Speaker 1: And I think I hope that all of you all 606 00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:14,520 Speaker 1: have an idea in your head of what I'm talking about, 607 00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:18,480 Speaker 1: like an example, because I'm not saying one out loud 608 00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:20,960 Speaker 1: because I just again don't want to fight but um 609 00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:28,719 Speaker 1: any more than I already do. So I think you 610 00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:31,280 Speaker 1: have to ask yourself, and I wish that these women 611 00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:34,000 Speaker 1: would ask themselves why are you a feminist? Are you 612 00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:37,600 Speaker 1: a feminist because social media tells you to be? Are 613 00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:39,920 Speaker 1: you a feminist because you want to go to the 614 00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:42,960 Speaker 1: Women's march and we're matching hat with everybody? Are you 615 00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:48,240 Speaker 1: a feminist because you know your mom told you to be? 616 00:36:48,239 --> 00:36:50,440 Speaker 1: Because you need to come up with your own reason 617 00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:55,480 Speaker 1: for being a feminist. Mine is that I work in 618 00:36:55,680 --> 00:37:01,200 Speaker 1: an industry where women are disproportionately discriminated against to the 619 00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:03,719 Speaker 1: point where and we have no HR system to back 620 00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:06,080 Speaker 1: it up, but to the point where I once had 621 00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:09,759 Speaker 1: a record label executive, one of the top ones at 622 00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:13,320 Speaker 1: one of the top labels in Nashville say to my manager, 623 00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:16,200 Speaker 1: Kaylee is a superstar, but I can't sign her because 624 00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:20,800 Speaker 1: she's a woman. And imagine that happening at any other company. 625 00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:24,040 Speaker 1: Imagine that happening on Wall Street, someone saying out loud 626 00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:28,240 Speaker 1: comfortably and this also was another woman. Imagine somebody saying, 627 00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:30,680 Speaker 1: you know, this person is the best fit for the 628 00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:33,319 Speaker 1: job and they're incredible, but I can't hire them because 629 00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:36,879 Speaker 1: they're a woman. That's a lawsuit in Nashville. That's called 630 00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:41,000 Speaker 1: the industry. And so I grew up thinking that feminism 631 00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:45,880 Speaker 1: was a bad thing. Um I remember saying. I remember 632 00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:48,399 Speaker 1: being the girl in high school who would be like, yeah, 633 00:37:48,440 --> 00:37:50,239 Speaker 1: I just think, don't really consider me the whole of 634 00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:52,960 Speaker 1: feminist like and just like like guyants like what like 635 00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:54,919 Speaker 1: I was big pick me girl energy. But I also 636 00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:58,360 Speaker 1: went to a church where women weren't allowed to preach 637 00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:02,839 Speaker 1: or get behind the pulpit or anything like that. And um, 638 00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:06,000 Speaker 1: neither of my parents really reinforced sexist ideals. But I 639 00:38:06,080 --> 00:38:07,960 Speaker 1: learned a lot from the church and from going to 640 00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:11,960 Speaker 1: a private school where you know, our outfits were policed 641 00:38:12,120 --> 00:38:16,080 Speaker 1: and um, just a lot of you know, women belong 642 00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:19,160 Speaker 1: at home with the children and are responsible for men's 643 00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:21,960 Speaker 1: sexuals and like that was where I learned how to 644 00:38:22,239 --> 00:38:25,040 Speaker 1: you know, be a docile while behaved woman. And then 645 00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:27,800 Speaker 1: I moved to Nashville and I was like, oh my god, 646 00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:31,800 Speaker 1: this is really fucking bad. This is actual discrimination and wow, 647 00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:35,000 Speaker 1: nobody's exaggerating. It is actually awful. And so that was 648 00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:37,080 Speaker 1: like what turned me into a feminist. And then also, 649 00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:41,000 Speaker 1: you know, all the bad things that have happened to me, 650 00:38:41,719 --> 00:38:44,279 Speaker 1: I just want them to happen to as few other 651 00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:49,240 Speaker 1: women as possible. Um, and that's why I talked about 652 00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:54,720 Speaker 1: this stuff. That's why I, you know, utilize the whisper network. 653 00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:59,080 Speaker 1: That's why I pressed charges, no matter how unsuccessful. The 654 00:38:59,080 --> 00:39:02,040 Speaker 1: whole thing was, Um, who knows, I might get a 655 00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:04,719 Speaker 1: call one day, but the fucking oh my god, the 656 00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:08,319 Speaker 1: detective was like hey, so like I went over to 657 00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:10,439 Speaker 1: his house, and um, I called him a few times 658 00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:12,320 Speaker 1: he didn't answer, but I went over to the address 659 00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:14,719 Speaker 1: that you gave me and he didn't answer, so, um, 660 00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:16,319 Speaker 1: we're just waiting to get in touch. And I was like, 661 00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:20,440 Speaker 1: you can't like send a letter. She's like, well, I 662 00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:23,520 Speaker 1: like to, you know, just show up and like kind 663 00:39:23,560 --> 00:39:27,399 Speaker 1: of um, get their initial reaction because typically it's more 664 00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:30,040 Speaker 1: successful when it comes to confessions. And I was like, okay, 665 00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:33,040 Speaker 1: but we already have a confession, so why And then 666 00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:34,319 Speaker 1: I was like, well, what time did you go over there? 667 00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:37,360 Speaker 1: She's like, um, like nine thirty or ten pm. And 668 00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:39,480 Speaker 1: I was like, of course he's not home. He's out. 669 00:39:39,760 --> 00:39:42,920 Speaker 1: He's out sucking over some other woman, you know, Like sorry, 670 00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:47,279 Speaker 1: that's how this guy spends his Friday nights. And she 671 00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:49,080 Speaker 1: was like, well, I only worked the night shift, so 672 00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:52,160 Speaker 1: that's the only time I can go by. I'm like, so, 673 00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:54,120 Speaker 1: if you report your rape at night, you get a 674 00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:56,000 Speaker 1: detective who works at night, and you get a detective 675 00:39:56,080 --> 00:39:58,520 Speaker 1: that only works at night. How fucking weird is that 676 00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:02,520 Speaker 1: the system's broken? And I just want to use my 677 00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:07,000 Speaker 1: voice to share that, um and try to help other 678 00:40:07,040 --> 00:40:10,920 Speaker 1: women avoid these situations and help these men be held accountable, 679 00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:15,920 Speaker 1: because that was what was most frustrating about my sexual 680 00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:20,040 Speaker 1: assault was. He woke up the next day, sent me flowers, 681 00:40:20,120 --> 00:40:22,640 Speaker 1: went about his day, and I woke up the next 682 00:40:22,680 --> 00:40:27,000 Speaker 1: day on my birthday actually, um, it was my twenty 683 00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:30,000 Speaker 1: five birthday. UM. I woke up the next the morning 684 00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:35,320 Speaker 1: after to the flowers and I, UM, I was starting 685 00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:38,799 Speaker 1: up all day and just crying and I couldn't get 686 00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:45,759 Speaker 1: out of bed. I didn't understand how physically it affects you, um, 687 00:40:45,800 --> 00:40:48,840 Speaker 1: when you've been assaulted, and it wasn't. It wasn't. I 688 00:40:48,920 --> 00:40:51,640 Speaker 1: didn't believe women or thought people were exaggerating. It's just 689 00:40:51,680 --> 00:40:55,440 Speaker 1: that I had no concept how bad it was until 690 00:40:55,440 --> 00:40:58,759 Speaker 1: it happened to me, and then I was like, I 691 00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:01,840 Speaker 1: believe women. Nobody makes this up. This is not a 692 00:41:01,840 --> 00:41:04,200 Speaker 1: fucking story that you want to make up. And if 693 00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:07,320 Speaker 1: you do, oh yeah. I think maybe the most toxic 694 00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:09,160 Speaker 1: kind of feminist is a woman who lies about being 695 00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:13,760 Speaker 1: raped because you are just reinforcing. You're just giving people 696 00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:16,319 Speaker 1: a reason like if those two to ten percent of 697 00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:18,680 Speaker 1: women who were lying didn't exist, we wouldn't have this 698 00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:22,440 Speaker 1: fucking problem. So that takes the cake for the worst 699 00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:26,200 Speaker 1: kind of toxic feminist. Anyways, this is a long, heavy episode, 700 00:41:26,239 --> 00:41:29,399 Speaker 1: but I you know, I choose the topics based on 701 00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:33,000 Speaker 1: what I'm most upset about, and this is what I 702 00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:35,120 Speaker 1: was also said about this week. So we'll lighten it 703 00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:37,520 Speaker 1: up next week. But thank you guys so much for listening. 704 00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:39,600 Speaker 1: If you made it through this episode, it's heavy one. 705 00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:44,080 Speaker 1: I'd love to hear your thoughts. UM. If you guys 706 00:41:44,239 --> 00:41:47,759 Speaker 1: want to text me, I have this awesome app where 707 00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:54,320 Speaker 1: I can text back. It's so my numbers nine two six. Also, 708 00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:57,080 Speaker 1: my Twitter d ms are open, my Instagram dms are open. 709 00:41:57,200 --> 00:41:59,040 Speaker 1: Sometimes it's hard for me to keep up with but 710 00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:01,640 Speaker 1: if you need somebody to talk to, I am as 711 00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:05,000 Speaker 1: here as I possibly can be. UM, but there's lots 712 00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:07,759 Speaker 1: of places you can reach out to for help, and 713 00:42:07,840 --> 00:42:11,600 Speaker 1: I've put um some organizations in the description. If any 714 00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:14,680 Speaker 1: of you are dealing with this, You're not alone. And UM, 715 00:42:15,080 --> 00:42:17,399 Speaker 1: I'm sending you all of my love. Thank you guys 716 00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:19,759 Speaker 1: so much for listening. I'm Kaylie Shore and this is 717 00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:33,239 Speaker 1: too much to say. Asking questions it out of you