Speaker 1: Hi, all, we have some exciting news to share. Paramount
Speaker 1: Plus has turned Burden of Guilt into a docuseries. You
Speaker 1: will get to meet the people involved, You'll hear from
Speaker 1: the people who have never spoken before, and you get
Speaker 1: to see where the story took place. We are so
Speaker 1: proud and excited to share it with you. You can
Speaker 1: stream it right now on Paramount Plush. Right next, witness,
Speaker 1: please stay called Tracy Rain. You raise your right hand
Speaker 1: from You're listening to a trial which took place in
Speaker 1: nineteen ninety seven. A beautiful twenty seven year old blonde
Speaker 1: woman named Tracy raimes on the stand.
Speaker 2: Because you pull a microphone just over the closer to you.
Speaker 1: Hi, good O. You said you live in Savannah.
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: Do you have any children?
Speaker 2: Yes? I do? How many children?
Speaker 1: I have two children. Tracy was impeccably dressed with perfectly
Speaker 1: quaffed hair, but her appearance was deceiving. She grew up
Speaker 1: on the poverty line and was exposed to extreme abuse.
Speaker 1: The prosecutor asked why she had worked so hard to
Speaker 1: see this case brought to trial. It was a search
Speaker 1: for truth.
Speaker 2: I realized that something bad had happened, and it was
Speaker 2: to correct that bad.
Speaker 1: Thing, A bad thing did happen. When she was just two,
Speaker 1: Tracy Riquel's brother Matthew died. He was only four months old.
Speaker 1: There were many accounts as to what occurred, but her
Speaker 1: family chucked it up to a tragedy and life moved on.
Speaker 1: So what was your brother's death? Described as? What did
Speaker 1: they tell you?
Speaker 2: So? When I was growing up, I was always told
Speaker 2: that Matthew died at crib death, that he slipped between
Speaker 2: the bars and fell on the floor. I had this
Speaker 2: idea of what I thought I knew. I was twenty five.
Speaker 2: I had finally gotten the records sent to me.
Speaker 1: These were the hospital records from the day of his death.
Speaker 1: They contained all the details she was desperate to know.
Speaker 2: I remember waiting for those documents on a daily basis.
Speaker 2: It was a bright sunny day. I was downstairs in
Speaker 2: the living room. I had to get them open as
Speaker 2: fast as I could, and that's when the world caved
Speaker 2: in around me. I wasn't prepared for what they said.
Speaker 2: It states child was thrown from crib. My sister, Oh,
Speaker 2: hold on, did I do this? Is this everybody trying
Speaker 2: to protect me?
Speaker 1: Imagine just imagine seeing a report that says you were
Speaker 1: the reason someone died. Tercy Riquel is a kind and
Speaker 1: caring person. She couldn't picture hurting a baby ever, even
Speaker 1: by accident. Yet there it was, in black and white.
Speaker 2: Child drawn from crib.
Speaker 1: My sister Tracy saw in writing that she had thrown
Speaker 1: her little brother out of his crib? Was that true?
Speaker 1: Could she have done this or did something much more
Speaker 1: sinister happen? My name is Nancy Glass. I'm an investigative reporter.
Speaker 1: I've covered some of the most notorious crimes in US history.
Speaker 1: I've interviewed Jeffrey Dahmer in prison. I practically lived at
Speaker 1: the courthouse for a year covering the OJ Simpson trial.
Speaker 1: But even after being close to evil time after time,
Speaker 1: this is the story that has affected me more than
Speaker 1: any other. This is Burden of Guilt, Episode one, Age
Speaker 1: of Innocence. Tracy changed her name several years back to
Speaker 1: Tracy Riquel, so you will hear her referred to as
Speaker 1: both Tracy and Tercy Riquel in this podcast, especially since
Speaker 1: many of the people we speak to remember her from
Speaker 1: her younger years. I'll explain why she made that change
Speaker 1: later in the series, but out of respect for her,
Speaker 1: I will only refer to her as Tracy Riquel from
Speaker 1: here on out. This series talks about crime, domestic abuse,
Speaker 1: and homicide, but it's so much more than a true
Speaker 1: crime story. It's a real account of survival, resilience, and justice.
Speaker 1: It's taken us two years to put it together because
Speaker 1: it's that hard, it's that dramatic, and most importantly, it's
Speaker 1: taken twenty five years for Tracy Riquel to be able
Speaker 1: to tell her story. I went to see her at
Speaker 1: her home in Colorado. She lives on a heavily protected
Speaker 1: military base. We sat outside, so it's a little noisy.
Speaker 1: Do you just sit and enjoy the few.
Speaker 2: I can only see the very top of it from
Speaker 2: my house, but I'm under Shyanne Mountain, you know wargames,
Speaker 2: the movie Nora At That's where we are. It's all
Speaker 2: beautiful there.
Speaker 1: This place has everything her soul needs, peace, tranquility and
Speaker 1: beauty and a garden. But there's also everything her head needs. Fences,
Speaker 1: uniforms and protection.
Speaker 2: I mean those are yeah, that's just the little pilot's
Speaker 2: training over there at the Air Force Condemy.
Speaker 1: Really, yeah, that's them.
Speaker 2: That's their touch and goes.
Speaker 1: Tercy Riquelt is a veteran. She served in the Army
Speaker 1: for two years. She has lived all over Hawaii, Colorado, Alabama,
Speaker 1: different states, cities and bases. To her home is where
Speaker 1: her family is. She's a wife, a mother, and a grandmother.
Speaker 1: Against all odds, she has created a stable and comfortable
Speaker 1: life for herself and her family with her husband, Bart,
Speaker 1: who is still on active duty.
Speaker 2: Because I'm with him, I don't feel terrified. I don't
Speaker 2: feel as vulnerable. I feel safe. I guess that's the
Speaker 2: easiest way to say it, right, Yeah, I feel safe.
Speaker 2: I think we're that coupled now that when you see
Speaker 2: pictures of us, we've start to look like each other,
Speaker 2: like people look like their dogs. Sometimes are their dogs
Speaker 2: look like them? And then you see people, I think
Speaker 2: that's where we are, and you've got to the same
Speaker 2: little querks. Now.
Speaker 1: I love hearing the way she talks about her husband.
Speaker 1: It's really special. When I see her life in Colorado
Speaker 1: and hear about her family. It makes me smile because
Speaker 1: the odds were so stacked against her.
Speaker 2: If I decide something's gonna be, something's gonna be. I'm
Speaker 2: a pretty annoyingly tenacious If I believe something has to happen,
Speaker 2: that it's going to happen.
Speaker 1: Well, that's the theme of all of this, isn't it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, I guess it is.
Speaker 1: Before I went to Colorado, I had been fascinated by
Speaker 1: Tracy Roquel's story for almost a decade. A few years
Speaker 1: ago we started corresponding, and I have spent the last
Speaker 1: four years getting to know her. We come from such
Speaker 1: different backgrounds, yet we do have so much in common,
Speaker 1: like our love for gardening and poodles and cooking and
Speaker 1: our kids. Of course, Tracy Riquel is in a safe
Speaker 1: place now and any pain is well hidden, but her
Speaker 1: road was a long and difficult one. Now at times
Speaker 1: the story can be difficult to hear, but please stick
Speaker 1: with me. After seeing hospital records that said Tracy Riquel
Speaker 1: was responsible for her four month old baby brother's death,
Speaker 1: it was a reckoning. The night Matthew died also happens
Speaker 1: to be her very first memory.
Speaker 2: At the time. I didn't understand what all the lights
Speaker 2: and sirens are, and I don't really have a memory
Speaker 2: of an emotional state at that point, just asking what
Speaker 2: they were doing. Were you scared? I was terrified.
Speaker 1: She has flashbacks some images of herself in a car.
Speaker 2: I remember it being a dark green el Camino. I
Speaker 2: remember standing up in the seat with my arms around
Speaker 2: that headrest and looking around at all the sirens everywhere,
Speaker 2: and Jan saying they're trying to help Matthew.
Speaker 1: Jan Is Jan Barry Sablin, Tracy Riquel's father. Matthew, a
Speaker 1: four month old baby, was hurt and needed serious medical attention.
Speaker 1: Journalist Jill Jordan Cedar explains how the sequence of events
Speaker 1: started with Tracy, Raquel and her mother.
Speaker 3: That day, Kathy and Tracy went on an errand Jan
Speaker 3: was at home babysitting little Matthew. When they return, Jan
Speaker 3: came to the door, blocked her entry, and asked her
Speaker 3: to retrieve something from the car. Kathy did that and
Speaker 3: Tracy went inside the apartment. When Cathy comes back, she
Speaker 3: goes into the bedroom finds Tracy in the crib, Matthew
Speaker 3: on the floor, eyes out of focus, looking in a
Speaker 3: world of trouble. At that point, j says that Tracy
Speaker 3: has caused Matthew to fall out of the crib, hit
Speaker 3: his head and is really chastising Tracy. Jan spanks Tracy
Speaker 3: and scolds her for what she's just done. Cathy said, look,
Speaker 3: there's something wrong with Matthew. We've got to get him
Speaker 3: to the emergency room and they leave.
Speaker 1: They raised the baby to North Side Hospital. The staff
Speaker 1: took X rays and realized he needed more care than
Speaker 1: they could provide. He was transferred by ambulance to the
Speaker 1: Cab Medical Center. As Matthew was evaluated, extended family began
Speaker 1: to gather outside the hospital. Kathy's sisters and grandparents hovered
Speaker 1: close by Uncle butch Jan's older brother paced in the
Speaker 1: parking lot.
Speaker 2: He said, I arrived at the emergency room and you
Speaker 2: were sitting on a concrete slab where ambulances pull up.
Speaker 1: Little Tracy Riquel had no idea what was going on,
Speaker 1: but Matthew was in dire condition. He had extensive skull fractures,
Speaker 1: brain bruising, and his pupils were fixed and dilated. Doctors
Speaker 1: felt they needed to perform surgery to give him a
Speaker 1: chance to survive. Kathy signed the paperwork giving permission, but
Speaker 1: it was of no use. Before midnight, Matthew died. Racy
Speaker 1: Riquell lost her baby brother. The next paper Kathy would
Speaker 1: sign would be a release for the county coroner to
Speaker 1: perform an autopsy and permission for Matthew's body to be
Speaker 1: sent to a funeral home, but after he died, Matthew
Speaker 1: just wasn't mentioned much. Tracy Riquel, of course, was always
Speaker 1: aware of him because of the memories of that night,
Speaker 1: but the family didn't do much to keep his memory
Speaker 1: alive or to memorialize him. You told me a story
Speaker 1: about a very scary car ride when you were a
Speaker 1: little kid. Will you tell that story?
Speaker 2: I mean, I was seven. I was in the car
Speaker 2: with Kathy and she said, day after tomorrow is Matthew's birthday.
Speaker 2: And I just had this child like remark of you
Speaker 2: don't take me to the cemetery of everyday speak to
Speaker 2: you. It's funny. I can remember exactly where we were on
Speaker 2: the road and next to the highway. And her reaction
Speaker 2: was shocked.
Speaker 1: Shocked about what that you would even mention him.
Speaker 2: You're exactly right. Her and Jan were together then, and
Speaker 2: she went home and had a complete fit. She told Jan,
Speaker 2: and he beat me terribly. He really enjoyed the belt,
Speaker 2: the wrong end of the belt.
Speaker 1: He beat you with a belt. Yes.
Speaker 2: He wanted to ensure that I didn't talk about Matthew
Speaker 2: again to her, so I didn't.
Speaker 1: Although she was too young to articulate a desire to
Speaker 1: honor her brother. She craved a connection her father. Jan
Speaker 1: wasn't interested in the least except in teaching her a lesson.
Speaker 2: And I guess some people think we all got whoopings
Speaker 2: with belts back in the day or whatever. But it
Speaker 2: wasn't like that. It wasn't disciplined. It was don't ever
Speaker 2: talk about this kid, you know.
Speaker 1: And all this time we've been talking, you have never
Speaker 1: referred to Kathy and Jan as mom and dad. Why not?
Speaker 2: I don't think genetics makes you a parent, So now
Speaker 2: I don't refer to them as a mother and a father.
Speaker 2: They weren't that. They weren't parents to me. They were monstrous.
Speaker 1: Tracy Riquel's parents had a long, complicated relationship dating back
Speaker 1: to their childhoods. Jan Barry Sandlin and Kathy Ahman had
Speaker 1: grown up into Cab County, Georgia. Even decades later, Kathy
Speaker 1: would admit she had been in love with Jan since
Speaker 1: she was twelve years old. One look at Jan's teenage
Speaker 1: photo you could see something in him. Confidence maybe, or
Speaker 1: maybe over confidence is more like it. He had a
Speaker 1: handsome face in charisma even as a teenager. Reporter Jill
Speaker 1: Jordan cedar.
Speaker 3: Jan and Kathy had known each other for a long time,
Speaker 3: since sixth and seventh grade, through elementary school into high school.
Speaker 3: She found him charming. He was a cutup, sort of
Speaker 3: the class clown. He was very popular, very mischievous, had
Speaker 3: a lot of the girls after him, and she was
Speaker 3: one of them.
Speaker 1: Jackie Wilson knew Jan Sandland's family growing up. A few
Speaker 1: of her girlfriends had crushes on him in school.
Speaker 4: Jan didn't mind showing how much he cared about somebody
Speaker 4: whenever he did care for but he was also demanding
Speaker 4: and domineering and expected whatever he stand to go.
Speaker 1: In the early nineteen seventies, it wasn't unusual for couples
Speaker 1: to get married right after high school. Although Jan and
Speaker 1: Kathy eventually married, they took a circuitous route with other
Speaker 1: partners first. Now, this is going to be tricky, so
Speaker 1: if you're multitasking, and I know I do that when
Speaker 1: I listened to podcasts, lean in for this. In high school,
Speaker 1: Kathy wanted to be with Jan.
Speaker 2: He came from a bad name, bad family, so she
Speaker 2: wasn't allowed to be with him.
Speaker 1: But obviously she found a way because when she was fifteen,
Speaker 1: she became pregnant by Jan and her mother found out.
Speaker 1: You told me about something very traumatic that happened to
Speaker 1: Kathy around that time.
Speaker 2: What was it? Her mother, my grandmother told her that
Speaker 2: someone was going to come and just check to make
Speaker 2: sure that the baby and the pregnancy was okay, and
Speaker 2: the woman I actually came to do an illegal abortion.
Speaker 2: They didn't tell her what was going on.
Speaker 1: Since Kathy was forbidden to date Jan, she found another
Speaker 1: boy with a better reputation Publicly.
Speaker 2: She dated this really nice boy, Ted Golder through high school,
Speaker 2: but at the same time, she was seeing Jan on
Speaker 2: the side the whole time. And then when Ted was drafted,
Speaker 2: she found out she was pregnant with me. She was
Speaker 2: in the army, and then he went off to war.
Speaker 1: Despite her marriage to Ted, Kathy still carried a torch
Speaker 1: for Jan and continued to see him on the side.
Speaker 1: How did Kathy ultimately end her relationship with Ted.
Speaker 2: She had sent him a Dear John letter while he
Speaker 2: was deployed over in Vietnam saying, this is not your child,
Speaker 2: It's Jane's child. I don't love you, I'm in love
Speaker 2: with him.
Speaker 1: And it was true. Kathy wanted Jan, and she knew
Speaker 1: the baby wasn't Ted's Ted was willing to forgive Kathy
Speaker 1: and raise the baby with her, but Kathy wasn't interested.
Speaker 1: That baby was Tracy Riquel. Soon after, however, Kathy found
Speaker 1: out that Jan married another woman, a pretty brunette named
Speaker 1: Nancy Tikeeter. With Jan now married, Kathy reconciled with Ted,
Speaker 1: and during that reconciliation they conceived Matthew. Just a month
Speaker 1: after Matthew's birth, Jan's wife, Nancy, tragically committed suicide, and
Speaker 1: suddenly Kathy's true love was free. It was only weeks
Speaker 1: after Nancy's death before Jan found comfort with Kathy, who
Speaker 1: had open arms waiting. Ted Golder was forgotten and Jan
Speaker 1: moved in with Kathy, Tracy Riquel, and baby Matthew. They
Speaker 1: lived together as a family.
Speaker 2: They were on some honeymoon phase for two days, and
Speaker 2: then there was enormous amounts of violence.
Speaker 1: The house was chaos. There was drug abuse and booze.
Speaker 1: Jackie Wilson saw the debauchery firsthand.
Speaker 4: I know for a fact that Jan sniff BLEUW because
Speaker 4: I sain it with my own eyes that I know.
Speaker 4: I know that he took pills, but I don't know
Speaker 4: what kind of pills. I know he drank alcohol like
Speaker 4: it was water.
Speaker 1: It was no longer a charming teenage romance. The couple's
Speaker 1: attachment evolved into a rough adult relationship, and Tracy Riquel
Speaker 1: was exposed to most of it.
Speaker 2: I remember Jan and Kathy were at Jan's mother's apartment
Speaker 2: and there was this huge domestic situation that was going on.
Speaker 2: She was screaming bloody murder and he was beating her up,
Speaker 2: and his mother was yelling at her.
Speaker 1: And where were you?
Speaker 2: I was sitting outside and there were people walking on
Speaker 2: the sidewalk across the street, looking and obviously taking notice.
Speaker 2: Nobody did anything.
Speaker 1: Keep in mind Tracy Raquel was observing these acts a
Speaker 1: small child.
Speaker 2: She would put her through horrible beatings and rapes, but
Speaker 2: she would say, it's the love of my life. It's
Speaker 2: loved my life. It was one of these things that
Speaker 2: I didn't understand.
Speaker 1: But she had something inside her that was very strong.
Speaker 4: Even measures buttons and makes buttonholes.
Speaker 1: She found ways to seek refuge from the toxic, dysfunctional
Speaker 1: environment that surrounded her.
Speaker 2: Here's the story.
Speaker 1: To quiet the noise, just be a kid.
Speaker 2: I would get two cookies in milk and I could
Speaker 2: watch the Brady Bunch.
Speaker 1: Yes, She watched the family all of America embraced, and
Speaker 1: she dreamed, it.
Speaker 2: Is escape watching that family work. It was hope. It
Speaker 2: was hopeful, That's what it was. It was hopeful.
Speaker 1: Despite her escapism, Tracy Roquel was haunted by the loss
Speaker 1: of her baby brother. He was a ghost, an ever
Speaker 1: present ghost. Let me describe him to you. I'm looking
Speaker 1: at a photo of him at four months old. He's
Speaker 1: wearing a blue pinafore with a white starched collar. He's
Speaker 1: got a little tuft of hair on top of his head,
Speaker 1: and he has this wide eyed look. There's baby fat.
Speaker 1: The little ones start getting wrinkles around the wrists and
Speaker 1: folds around the neck. He was adorable. Tracy Roquel didn't
Speaker 1: attend Matthew's funeral, but relatives shared details with her over
Speaker 1: the years.
Speaker 2: Matthew was buried in Alabama. Our family is stretched from
Speaker 2: Alabama to Georgia, so with a lot of people. I
Speaker 2: was told that the procession from the chair to the
Speaker 2: grave side for Matthew, that Kathy and Jan were in
Speaker 2: the hearse.
Speaker 3: They did say that the vault that Matthew was in
Speaker 3: was iron coffin, that Jan had paid for.
Speaker 1: The funeral was strange. Jan and Kathy displayed odd behavior
Speaker 1: on the way to the cemetery on what should have
Speaker 1: been one of the hardest and most painful days of
Speaker 1: their lives.
Speaker 2: They pulled into McDonald's and went and through a drive.
Speaker 1: Through to order food in the middle of being in
Speaker 1: a funeral procession. Yes, their dead baby lay in a
Speaker 1: coffin in the back of their car, but that didn't
Speaker 1: stop them.
Speaker 2: And they pulled over and stopped and ate before they
Speaker 2: proceeded to the graveside to barry Matthew.
Speaker 1: What was your family's reaction to that?
Speaker 2: It was explained to me that everybody was just mortified.
Speaker 2: Grandmothers and great grandmothers and aunts were just sobbing in tears.
Speaker 1: After matthew death, Kathy couldn't cope.
Speaker 2: Kathy's attempted to aside. A couple of months after Matthew died.
Speaker 1: She took Tracy Raquel onto the balcony of their apartment
Speaker 1: and then, right in front of her own two year
Speaker 1: old child, Kathy climbed up on the railing and jumped
Speaker 1: jumped right off the two story balcony.
Speaker 2: She said she sat me there so that the police
Speaker 2: would find me. I think she broke both legs in
Speaker 2: both arms.
Speaker 1: It was only two floors, so Kathy survived, but was
Speaker 1: badly injured, immobilized. Jan couldn't be counted on, and Tracy Raquel,
Speaker 1: a toddler, was thrust into the caretake a role. It
Speaker 1: was mind blowing.
Speaker 2: I remember days later she was on the couch in
Speaker 2: this pretty much full body cast, yelling at me, telling
Speaker 2: me how to scramble eggs. So that's the first time
Speaker 2: I scrambled eggs because she didn't do it.
Speaker 1: Can you imagine scrambling eggsit two? It's hard to fathom.
Speaker 1: Kathy became more dependent on Tracy Riquel for other adult
Speaker 1: tasks as well.
Speaker 2: I was buying cigarettes for her when I was five, all.
Speaker 1: By yourself as a little kid. Why do you think
Speaker 1: she did that.
Speaker 2: Your electricity gets hut off or your water gets cut off,
Speaker 2: and you send your child to stand in line with
Speaker 2: a bunch of adults who are paying their bills because
Speaker 2: you don't have enough courage to stand in there and
Speaker 2: pay her own white bill.
Speaker 1: Kathy didn't want to stand in line because her bills
Speaker 1: were being paid late. That's why she sent her daughter
Speaker 1: to do it. I have this image of this little
Speaker 1: blonde child reaching up to a cashier with a money
Speaker 1: order and then asking in a tiny voice, please can
Speaker 1: I have a pack of Virginia Slims. It all feels surt.
Speaker 1: As time went on, life presumed. Nobody seemed to talk
Speaker 1: much about what happened to Matthew. He was just there
Speaker 1: one day and then he wasn't. A few years after
Speaker 1: Matthew died, Kathy and Jan had another son. He was
Speaker 1: named Jason. Tracy Raquel had a new, younger brother, but
Speaker 1: another baby in the house did nothing to quell the violence.
Speaker 2: I guess chaotic people do chaotic things, so lots of
Speaker 2: violence and abuse. We would be settled somewhere from the
Speaker 2: time I was a little child, and he would just
Speaker 2: show up in the middle of the night and throw
Speaker 2: us on the street.
Speaker 1: Where would you guys go?
Speaker 2: We spent lots of time just sleeping on a park
Speaker 2: bench just wherever. One time, I think I was seven
Speaker 2: or so, he showed up in the middle of the
Speaker 2: night and beat the door down and beat her up
Speaker 2: really bad, and took Jason.
Speaker 1: But Tracy Riquel could hardly look to her mom for comfort.
Speaker 2: Kathy was equally as bad as Jan, just in a
Speaker 2: different way.
Speaker 1: In what way.
Speaker 2: I was in the first grade and got gom in
Speaker 2: my hair. Her answer to that was just to shave
Speaker 2: my head and then send me to school.
Speaker 1: Wow, that story hit me in the gut. And when
Speaker 1: Tercy Raquel first told me this, my thought was, didn't
Speaker 1: anybody else notice or try to intervene.
Speaker 2: My aunt Jane is Kathy's older sister. She's the oldest
Speaker 2: of the five of them. It's my understanding that she
Speaker 2: and my grandfather tried very desperately to take me away
Speaker 2: from Kathy shortly after Matthew died. The system just wouldn't
Speaker 2: allow it. So I think you do what you can
Speaker 2: do when you can, and that's what they did.
Speaker 1: But her family was also fearful of offering shelter to Kathy.
Speaker 1: They believed Kathy would always take Jan back and they
Speaker 1: would put themselves in harm's way for nothing. No one
Speaker 1: wanted to be on the receiving end of Jan's rage,
Speaker 1: only to find Kathy back in the same situation days later.
Speaker 1: When Jan threw Kathy and the two kids on the street,
Speaker 1: she would take the kids two motels and then Jan
Speaker 1: would show up. It was a cycle. So as a child,
Speaker 1: Tracy Riquel was basically homeless. Her life was completely erratic,
Speaker 1: going through her day avoiding what emotional or physical landmind
Speaker 1: she could step on. Next, her mother was beaten down,
Speaker 1: broken and her dad well, there was another side to
Speaker 1: Jan Sandlin that I haven't shared yet. Her father was
Speaker 1: involved in criminal activity.
Speaker 2: He was connected to an organized crime group in the South.
Speaker 1: She was even a witness to some of it.
Speaker 2: I must before. At the time, I remember for all
Speaker 2: of these men being in this apartment living room and
Speaker 2: they were making a plan. There were guns everywhere, and
Speaker 2: they were getting ready to do something.
Speaker 1: Jan was focused on the task at hand, and when
Speaker 1: Kathy objected, Jan got her out of his way.
Speaker 2: They had a protest about something, and he locked her
Speaker 2: in a tiny little closet while they went did their
Speaker 2: I don't know, robbery, whatever they were doing.
Speaker 1: How long was she stuck in there?
Speaker 2: She would be able to tell you how many hours
Speaker 2: she stayed in that closet, but a long time. And
Speaker 2: there was also this this Cat County police officer was
Speaker 2: murdered and Kathy said, yeah, he killed that police officer.
Speaker 2: She didn't even know his name.
Speaker 1: There were rumors that Jan was involved in the murder
Speaker 1: of the officer. Only twenty four years old. The young
Speaker 1: police officer had been shot execution style while working at
Speaker 1: a part time security job.
Speaker 2: But Kathy said he killed that police officer and then
Speaker 2: we drove to Alabama and for the Guynilite.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you more about his story later in the series.
Speaker 1: It seems like there was never a moment of stability.
Speaker 1: Tracy Riquel has vivid memories of Jan breaking into the
Speaker 1: house and kidnapping her and Jason as a way to
Speaker 1: get a Kathy. Jan had a special affinity for Jason
Speaker 1: because he knew for certain that Jason was his son.
Speaker 2: I believe that Jan is the personality type that's very primal.
Speaker 2: I only take care of my own, so to speak.
Speaker 1: In Jane's mind, Tracy Riquel's paternity was a little more
Speaker 1: dubious considering the overlapping relationships Kathy had with Jan and
Speaker 1: her first husband, Ted Gold. But Tracy Riquel was useful
Speaker 1: to Jan in one way, used her to look after
Speaker 1: her younger brother. She has a memory that plays almost
Speaker 1: like a short film. In her mind. Jan had kidnapped
Speaker 1: her and her brother Jason.
Speaker 2: When it was time for Jason to take a nap,
Speaker 2: he would put us both in there and we would
Speaker 2: take a nap, and I had this little girl, and
Speaker 2: she knew what was going on. She knew that he
Speaker 2: had kidnapped us or taken us, that this was a
Speaker 2: violent situation.
Speaker 1: The little neighbor girl started coming to the bedroom window
Speaker 1: every day at lunchtime to try and help Tracy, Raquel
Speaker 1: and Jason escape.
Speaker 2: And I would be like, okay, I can do this.
Speaker 2: I could pick him up and hand him down there.
Speaker 1: Did you have a plan.
Speaker 2: This place was at the end of the decab airport
Speaker 2: and my uncle Steve worked at the airport. I just
Speaker 2: thought if I took get him out, I could run him.
Speaker 1: Down this rudway and we'd be fought.
Speaker 2: But I was so afraid I was going to hurt him.
Speaker 1: She had already lost her younger brother, Matthew. She couldn't
Speaker 1: bear the thought of doing anything that would harm Jason.
Speaker 1: We tried every day for about two weeks, and then
Speaker 1: what happened.
Speaker 2: The police came. One day, This nice policewoman came and
Speaker 2: took my hand and he was arrested and off we went.
Speaker 1: It sounds like a disconnect, but here's what happened. The
Speaker 1: police showed up because justice had finally caught up with
Speaker 1: Jan in the spring of nineteen eighty one, ten years
Speaker 1: after Jan and Kathy got together. He was going to prison.
Speaker 2: He drove to Panama City committed armed robbery and a
Speaker 2: gas station or comedience or something like that, and then
Speaker 2: got into a shootout on Panama City Beach with the
Speaker 2: Panama City Police Department, and then he was arrested and
Speaker 2: sentenced in Florida. And I understand it was like twenty
Speaker 2: five to life.
Speaker 1: He had done time for crimes like forgery and breaking
Speaker 1: and entering, but this conviction would be the one to
Speaker 1: put him out of their lives.
Speaker 2: I thought for sure everything was going to be great.
Speaker 1: Life would be great without jam.
Speaker 2: Sometimes you just don't see the forest for the trees.
Speaker 1: Kathy didn't physically abuse Tracy Riquel, but the relationship was
Speaker 1: broken dysfunctional. Kathy was a battered woman and couldn't see
Speaker 1: much beyond her own pain to offer any love or
Speaker 1: comfort to her daughter.
Speaker 2: When I was fourteen years old, I was very ill
Speaker 2: and ended up in the hospital and they diagnosed me
Speaker 2: with a seizure disorder.
Speaker 1: It was just done. What did you mean you were done?
Speaker 2: There was no way out. There's nowhere to go. I
Speaker 2: just really didn't want to be in that environment. I
Speaker 2: didn't know how to get out. There was just not help.
Speaker 1: So she saved thirty days of a medication tagridol, an
Speaker 1: anti convulsiant drug, and she took it all at once.
Speaker 2: At the time, I thought I'd be with Matthew, or
Speaker 2: I'd be in some better place. He's kind of hokey now,
Speaker 2: but at the time it seemed like there was probably
Speaker 2: something far better than what was going on.
Speaker 1: She figured a month's worth of the tablets would have
Speaker 1: been enough to kill her, and it should have.
Speaker 2: I woke up to Kathy standing over me, shaking my face, saying,
Speaker 2: oh my god, what have you done now?
Speaker 1: That is not the reaction you'd expect from a mother
Speaker 1: who just discovered her daughter had attempted suicide.
Speaker 2: And all I could think was, Wow, I'm really still here.
Speaker 1: It's remarkable that she survived. Maybe it was luck, maybe
Speaker 1: it was fate. Perhaps she was destined for a greater purpose.
Speaker 1: There was a lot of wrong at Tracy Raquel's childhood,
Speaker 1: enough to break anyone, but for Racy Raquel, her upbringing
Speaker 1: only in still build a strong sense of right and
Speaker 1: wrong and something with those medical records did not seem right.
Speaker 2: It stays child was thrown from crib by sister. Rather
Speaker 2: than just looking at my own abuse and suffering, I
Speaker 2: took on this whole full thing. I'm going to find
Speaker 2: out what happened to Matthew.
Speaker 1: On the next episode A Burden of Guilt, Tracy Raquel
Speaker 1: persuades an investigator to look into Matthew's debt.
Speaker 2: In someone of great important just the child that died.
Speaker 4: It's terrible, yeah, but why would I take it?
Speaker 2: But Tracy said some things that intrigued.
Speaker 1: Me, and later this season There's no way in hell
Speaker 1: that this child died from being pushed out of a crib.
Speaker 1: I'm Nancy Glass. That's all coming up on Burden of Guilt.
Speaker 1: Stay tuned for Burden of Guilt, the documentary coming in
Speaker 1: twenty twenty four only on Paramount Plus. If you would
Speaker 1: like to reach out to the Burden of Guilt team,
Speaker 1: email us at Burden of Guiltpod at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: That's Burden of Guilt Pod at gmail dot com. If
Speaker 1: you or someone you know is worried about maltreatment or
Speaker 1: suspect that a child is being abused or neglected, call
Speaker 1: the Child Help National Child Abuse Hotline. You can call
Speaker 1: or text one eight hundred four a child that's one
Speaker 1: eight hundred four two two four four five three. One
Speaker 1: way to show support is by subscribing to our show
Speaker 1: on Apple Podcasts and don't forget to rate and review
Speaker 1: Burden of Guilt. Five star reviews go a long way.
Speaker 1: A big thank you to all of you who are listening,
Speaker 1: and also be sure to check us out and follow
Speaker 1: us on Instagram at Glass Podcasts, Burden of Guilt is
Speaker 1: a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass Entertainment Group,
Speaker 1: in partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show is hosted and
Speaker 1: executive produced by me Nancy Glass, written and produced by
Speaker 1: Carrie Hartman and Andrea Gunning. Also produced by Ben Fetterman
Speaker 1: and associate producer Kristin Melchiori. Our iHeart team is Ali
Speaker 1: Perry and Jessica Crincheck. Special thanks to Tracy Riquel Burns
Speaker 1: and her husband Bart. Audio editing and mixing by Matt Delvecchio.
Speaker 1: Burden of Guilt's theme composed by Oliver Baines. Music library
Speaker 1: provided by my Music and For more podcasts from iHeart,
Speaker 1: visit the iHeartRadio app Apple podcasts, or wherever you get
Speaker 1: your podcasts, Stay tuned for Burden of Guilt, the documentary,
Speaker 1: coming in twenty twenty four and airing only on Paramount
Speaker 1: Plus
Speaker 2: Okay,