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Speaker 1: Welcome back to Alchemy this. I'm your host, Kevin Pollock, Yes,

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Speaker 1: the award winning actor, author, and film director. What's that?

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Speaker 1: Thank you? No? Just the check? Thanks. Please try and

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Speaker 1: stay with me, folks. Throughout my career, I've been fortunate

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Speaker 1: enough to see my fair share of true alchemy. By definition,

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Speaker 1: alchemy is quote when a person transforms or creates something

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Speaker 1: through a seemingly magical process of my dear tater tots

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Speaker 1: and tight or titmass. Like I said, I've been witnessed

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Speaker 1: to the stuff on several occasions. An example, you asked,

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Speaker 1: sure they're gonna be like that? Let's see. Oh there's one.

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Speaker 1: The carpenters never built nothing except sweet swait me a second.

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Speaker 1: The point, folks, is that an idea hit me between

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Speaker 1: the eyes, right through the back of my head, and

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Speaker 1: I thought, what have I brought together the right creative

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Speaker 1: people and force them to make sh it up based

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Speaker 1: on my own twisted, demented ideas. Then I could offer

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Speaker 1: a podcast of this seemingly magical process. I would call

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Speaker 1: it alchemy like that again, you son of a bitch,

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Speaker 1: and I'll take the sign down. M Well, after three

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Speaker 1: months of tinkering, I'm so very proud to welcome you,

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Speaker 1: dear dear friends, new episode six. I'll welcoming this. Let's

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Speaker 1: meet our aclomist, shall we? In no particular order to

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Speaker 1: say hello to Joey Greer Greer, Alma Tree. Why can't

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Speaker 1: Jimmy crack corn? And I don't care? I said, I

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Speaker 1: don't care. Next, it's Christol Varado. Hey, Chris, do you

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Speaker 1: believe in miracles because I'm looking at one right now.

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Speaker 1: Oh yes, then yes, which brings us to the funniest

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Speaker 1: of them all when that's the ragling. But what's the

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Speaker 1: last ship gift? The last ship gift you received for Christmas? Um?

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Speaker 1: Oh no, oh no oh. Jeannie drew my name and

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Speaker 1: she picked something from last year's list that was absolutely

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Speaker 1: now I already have the ice bucketing at Genie looked

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Speaker 1: the wrong email. I was hoping you would actually mention

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Speaker 1: someone by name and you did. Uh. And what would

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Speaker 1: a super team like this be without Mr James? Hey James,

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Speaker 1: can I call you Jimmy Lynn? U linn sounds like okay, yeah, sure, okay, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you can call me Jimmy Lynn. Finally, last, but straight

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Speaker 1: to hell in a handbag if you think at least

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Speaker 1: Mr Craig at Craig a law. If ushers were horrors,

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Speaker 1: beggars would pay through the nose. That's exactly right, always

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Speaker 1: through the nose. Let's get to our first scene, shall we.

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Speaker 1: We take you first to just an average day at

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Speaker 1: the White House. That's right, Pennsylvania Avenue, the White House,

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Speaker 1: present day. We take your first to the press room,

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Speaker 1: where yet another new press secretary, but Asa Ragland, takes

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Speaker 1: questions from the group of press. Um. Before we get started,

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Speaker 1: a reminder, a press sector I'm in. You need to

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Speaker 1: scoot up, sir. There's a microphone like a foot to

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Speaker 1: your left. I'll get over there. You know what, I

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Speaker 1: feeling great and the whole one I wanted to say,

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Speaker 1: if I may, being a press secretary is not like

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Speaker 1: being a regular secretary for the record, Okay, big difference.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, I'm important over here over here, please er

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Speaker 1: it's bindful, bindful. Yes, with the funny hates. I love

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Speaker 1: your funny hat. Those bare ears. These are bare ears,

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Speaker 1: that's right, that's right, high they're hi Donny Carter pants worldwide. Um,

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Speaker 1: does the President prefer corduroy or linen pants? Oh? Great question,

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Speaker 1: um the president? Next question, question very four word fan

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Speaker 1: that just said it. I liked his just for future

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Speaker 1: notice for all you guys that are trying to get

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Speaker 1: me to pick you. I like the way this guy

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Speaker 1: did it because he said it like a period at

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Speaker 1: the end and side like a question. Question go ahead?

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Speaker 1: Uh yeah, I guess that is strange to say question

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Speaker 1: with an exclamation point. Uh. I'm miss bimble bimble, I'll

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Speaker 1: welcome to the job. Thank you, I love it and

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Speaker 1: I am fully qualified. I'm a Roger catchatorian Washington Post?

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Speaker 1: What what? What the hell is going on here? What?

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Speaker 1: Washington Post? That was? How you do guys do reel

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Speaker 1: the news or fake news? We do real news. The

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Speaker 1: president is often called it fake news. However, we are

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Speaker 1: all shouldn't talk to you? Next question, Yes, it's pimple, pimple, pimple.

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Speaker 1: How are you doing? I just walked in here and

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Speaker 1: I figured out to ask a couple of hot takes

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Speaker 1: from if you don't mind. Uh so number one single

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Speaker 1: not single pro for you? Hell yeah? Um? I love

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Speaker 1: the dress let see through, I love the heels, everything

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Speaker 1: about it. I'm vibing with question number two. I guess

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Speaker 1: it's number two or three? Last track me you later.

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Speaker 1: Tonight wine cheese inappropriate? Okay, question question that guy Roger

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Speaker 1: catch Toorian what Washington Post? Who was that guy? I

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Speaker 1: don't know, but he's really not a reporter. Don that

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Speaker 1: He just came in and flirted with you for it

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Speaker 1: was like it was like a meat cute. Do you

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Speaker 1: guys like romantic comedies? I do, but that's neither here

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Speaker 1: nor there. I love them, and I've always wanted, you know,

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Speaker 1: to find someone like that, because I found a relationship

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Speaker 1: to Haspenny many many times. But I've never had one

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Speaker 1: that started in a cute way. And maybe that's what's bad.

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Speaker 1: Maybe that's what's bad. I've got a photography, I've got

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Speaker 1: a next question, Yes, New York Times What New York

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Speaker 1: Times dog hands? The president has two options to Dale

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Speaker 1: North Griff should be an easy choice. Then next question,

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Speaker 1: Miss Pimple, I still have this photograph. It's a picture

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Speaker 1: of you in miss universe. Yes it is. Is that

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Speaker 1: your previous job? I mean it wasn't a job. So

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Speaker 1: what other credentials do you have to be? What other

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Speaker 1: credentials do you have? Oh? Excuse me, um, everyone look

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Speaker 1: at the sexiest pig in the room. Yeah, yes, how big?

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Speaker 1: How big is Earth? Right? Well, we all respect the

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Speaker 1: president of America. Earth is bigger than America. What's bigger

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Speaker 1: than earth? You idiots the universe? Thank you, qualified um,

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Speaker 1: thank you for saying it correctly. I don't have a question.

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Speaker 1: I have a statement. It's just in mhm, Miss Pimple

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Speaker 1: finds love you were with the other guy. I'm a journalist.

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Speaker 1: I write what I see, and I see what I know.

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Speaker 1: What do you know? I know that this this is special.

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Speaker 1: R is going on here. Let me say something. Let

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Speaker 1: me say something that I knew right when she was

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Speaker 1: speaking that I was gonna love her forever. And yeah,

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Speaker 1: I funked up in the past. Yeah I sucked up. Okay,

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Speaker 1: but I'm gonna make a change now. Okay. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: do whatever I can to make you right and to

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Speaker 1: get the president to get three four five terms so

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Speaker 1: you could always be press secretary. Come here, ever your work.

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Speaker 1: I always wanted to have like a cupcake store, or

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Speaker 1: or maybe even a whole line of cupcake stores. And

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Speaker 1: then this opportunity to present its health question. Every national

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Speaker 1: park is on fire? What is happening to this country?

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Speaker 1: Everything's on fire? Next question? We take you now to

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Speaker 1: a different room in the White House where Jared Kushner

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Speaker 1: is meeting with his new attorney. Okay, things don't look good.

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Speaker 1: Things don't look good. Jared, I think they look I

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Speaker 1: think they're fine. I think they're fine. You know, I've

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Speaker 1: been your lawyer for for two years. Now was the

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Speaker 1: first time I've heard you talk. But so this is good.

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Speaker 1: This is good that we're having a conversation. Yeah. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean you've been with You've been my lawyer for

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Speaker 1: two years. This is the first time we're actually like hanging, hanging,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Yeah, Well, I'm not here

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Speaker 1: to hang. I'm here because you know, you might get subpoena.

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Speaker 1: It subpoena supon him. Man, you want to look cry, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'll take a pample most catch Okay, Wow, it's warm.

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Speaker 1: Uh yeah, I caught me off guard. All right, all right,

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Speaker 1: Well let me ask you a question. Man, why don't

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Speaker 1: you ever give me a call when we were to hangout.

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Speaker 1: Why is it always bad news, bad news, bad news

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Speaker 1: from you? Oh? Because you you may have created, you

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Speaker 1: may have committed multiple felony in what capacity if you

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Speaker 1: want to talk legal ease in your capacity as advisor

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Speaker 1: to the president, and as a member of the not

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Speaker 1: the cabinet. But you know I'm up there, dude, I'm

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Speaker 1: up there, dude. Well, your security clearance got revoked, so

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Speaker 1: you you're know you're only on a secret clearance. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but check this out. Look at this, dude, Look at

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Speaker 1: this bow. I've been shooting bows lately. Man, check this out.

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Speaker 1: Will you shoot? You shoot arrows from the boats. But yeah, legally, legally,

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Speaker 1: here we go, here we go. Don't point that at me.

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Speaker 1: All right. I'm just saying, man, I'm saying. I'm saying,

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Speaker 1: there's more to me than just like committing crimes or

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Speaker 1: whatever you think I'm doing. Man, Okay, well, we've got

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Speaker 1: to go over your testimony. They're gonna ask you about Russia.

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Speaker 1: They're gonna ask you a best dude, I got nothing

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Speaker 1: to hide, Okay, ask me. Oh I'm so sorry, Mr Kushner.

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Speaker 1: We just burned all those documents you wanted. What do

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Speaker 1: you want to do with um? Send them to Ivanka

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Speaker 1: Plava Ivanka. I don't know either. By okay, so you

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Speaker 1: burned a bunch of documents. Yeah boom booms, xam out

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Speaker 1: of here as I out of mind. Okay, Well that

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Speaker 1: that's not good, and that there's gonna be multiple copies

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Speaker 1: of those documents. Killed his bear, dude, I killed his bear. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: somebody needs to come in and clean that up. No,

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Speaker 1: not not not looks like a fresh kill. Oh, do

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Speaker 1: it this morning? Did it? This morning? I had him,

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Speaker 1: I had hm shipped here and then I beat him up.

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Speaker 1: All right, So ask me a question, cho okay, at

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Speaker 1: at what point were you made aware of the uh,

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Speaker 1: the connection between Russia and your father and like years ago? Dude? Okay,

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Speaker 1: well that's not good. But that's not good. That your

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Speaker 1: new years ago? But so okay, um, did you know

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Speaker 1: years ago that you loved your wife? I'm thrice divorced,

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Speaker 1: So okay, but see that's not good. Now, that's not good.

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Speaker 1: Let's be that's not good. Let's be honest, dude. Let's

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Speaker 1: be honest. Hey, you ever you ever? Have you ever

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Speaker 1: tasted bald eagle? That I have a tasted bald eagle? No,

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Speaker 1: I'm a pesctarian. Open your mouth all right? M mmmm

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Speaker 1: okay is that good? Or is that good? I'm getting

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Speaker 1: mostly feathers. That's part of the deal. All right, Well more,

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Speaker 1: come on, give me another question, man, uh, okay, to

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Speaker 1: what extent. Uh, is your wife aware of these? Uh? Allegations?

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Speaker 1: To come on, dude, listen, you've been divorced three times.

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Speaker 1: She's very aware. She's aware of everything I do. I'm

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Speaker 1: more of everything she does. We have an open communication.

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Speaker 1: Thus we have a good relationship. Man. Okay, I think

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Speaker 1: it's best at this time that you remain silent. No,

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Speaker 1: you can't silence the man, you know what I mean. Okay,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna talk now, all right, Jared, Jared's gonna put

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Speaker 1: himself out there. And that's right, that's right. You know,

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Speaker 1: for too long, you know, I was, I'm a real

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Speaker 1: estate guy, you know what I mean. And I looked

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Speaker 1: it up on my Wikipedia right before we started this,

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Speaker 1: and uh, uh, you know, I'm done being I'm done

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Speaker 1: being quiet. I want to talk. I want to talk

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Speaker 1: to you. I'm well, you can talk to me, absolutely,

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Speaker 1: That's what I'm here for. But I'm man, I have

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Speaker 1: to advise you to not make any public statements. Okay,

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Speaker 1: you know radio silence quiet on on Twitter. I'm not

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Speaker 1: I'm not ashamed of who I am. Give me one secon.

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Speaker 1: We now take you to another part of the White

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Speaker 1: House two of the official President's speech writers and their

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Speaker 1: brainstorming for the upcoming State of the Union. I just

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Speaker 1: put whatever you're gonna say whatever. I feel like what

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Speaker 1: we need to do is set him up for success

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Speaker 1: or it doesn't matter, man it who gives a ship

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Speaker 1: he's gonna say whatever. Listen, let's just go out. Let's

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Speaker 1: just go and get funked up again. And then like

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Speaker 1: cares man Greg, Yeah, there's gonna be another president after him.

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Speaker 1: Do you want a job as a speechwriter? Or now

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Speaker 1: you believe that there's gonna be another president? This isn't funny, Kurt.

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Speaker 1: I don't we need I don't out of the zero

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Speaker 1: humor in anything anymore. I don't enjoy shit. Okay, it

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Speaker 1: shows because you were wearing sweatpants to the White House. Hey,

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Speaker 1: I'm dressed in in khaki color, so I guess it

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Speaker 1: counts their tam sweatpants. Sure, we don't have much time.

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Speaker 1: The president needs a State of the Union speech. Let's

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Speaker 1: set him up for success. Use it. Come in, guys,

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Speaker 1: where are we we need words? Half way done? You

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Speaker 1: want us to spoil the surprise? Just give you one sentence.

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Speaker 1: They need something now, Okay, Okay, we gotta right here,

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Speaker 1: go funk yourself. Okay, that's what we got, some asshole.

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Speaker 1: That's not that's not exactly what's what? Greg? What? I

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Speaker 1: think we should just do what you're good at. Let's

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Speaker 1: give him a lot of come in. Do you guys

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Speaker 1: see a bear in here? Huh? What? Mr Kushner has

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Speaker 1: had some bears released into the White House. Now we

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Speaker 1: have him to kill Jesus, Well, close the door. Don't

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Speaker 1: see a bear. Don't kill us for Jared. Lock the door, Greg, Jesus, Well,

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Speaker 1: it might be a bear. It might be a bear.

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Speaker 1: That's wait, don't open the door. That's the first thing

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Speaker 1: that god damn bear would say. I'm so ready to die. Hey,

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Speaker 1: Melanie Bible believe recently in love? Um, how is the speech?

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Speaker 1: He coming? Great? You want to hear some of the

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Speaker 1: lines from love to poop is poop and your poop.

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Speaker 1: That's some of the stuff we got work. That's not

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Speaker 1: that he's joking. So why don't you tell that to

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Speaker 1: everybody when you go up there? And I'm not going

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Speaker 1: to say that to Okay, have a great day. Oh no,

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna have a great You got it, you

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Speaker 1: got it, Okay, don't hit me. I'm sorry. I thought

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Speaker 1: there was a bug on you? There was no Well

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Speaker 1: then I guess you're just a pattern on a dress.

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Speaker 1: It's not a bug. I hit you too. Get out?

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Speaker 1: Can we work with speech? Can we get it to work?

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Speaker 1: Close to or lock the door, Craig lock. You do

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Speaker 1: a a lot of concerts, right, A lot of what concerts?

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Speaker 1: That's what you're always doing every day? Yes, your party thing.

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Speaker 1: Let's do with you, work with good. Let's write him

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Speaker 1: some hype man stuff. He's gonna be like, come in, hey, guys,

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Speaker 1: Steve Bannon. Um, oh my god, smells like ship I left.

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Speaker 1: I left a sex harness in. Here is what this is? Yeah, yeah, here,

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Speaker 1: you can use it if you want it. Actually, we'll

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Speaker 1: keep it, thank you, okay, see Steve alright later, guys.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, we take you now to another undisclosed location.

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Speaker 1: The President's secret representative meets with her Russian counterpart to

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Speaker 1: discuss the current and future agenda for the Russian Nothing

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Speaker 1: is off the table, are you? Here's it going? It's

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Speaker 1: good to see you, don't It's great to see you two,

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Speaker 1: great to be seen. So what are we talking about?

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Speaker 1: That's what I want to know too. I can talk

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Speaker 1: in riddles. Two vast off the table. Everything's off the table.

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Speaker 1: Every table is empty. We can put anything we want

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Speaker 1: on the table. Back, let's put something on the table.

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Speaker 1: I think we understand. Put some bread sticks. Well, all

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Speaker 1: garden guys, thank you. These are bottomless. That's right, that's right.

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Speaker 1: It's as much as you like. Okay, okay, Adrian quarters,

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Speaker 1: I'll have a long island. Okay, what do your vodkas?

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Speaker 1: We just have one Italian vodka? If one Italian vodka. Okay,

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Speaker 1: Oh you're not gonna hear and this, honey, Okay, I'll

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Speaker 1: take a bottle. Okay, okay, Basil, what are we working

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Speaker 1: with here? Bread sticks are so good, they're delicious. Watch

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Speaker 1: out that you can't. You just want them in a

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Speaker 1: little bosamic is so good? So steel? Steel? Steel? Is

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Speaker 1: that what you want? You know? What? Can I be

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Speaker 1: perfectly honest? I don't know what's in it for either

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Speaker 1: of us? Can I be honest as well? Absolutely? That's

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Speaker 1: what it seems like to me too. But then, also,

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Speaker 1: what are we getting? You know? What's anybody getting? It's

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Speaker 1: just we do this once a week, we meet the

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Speaker 1: olive garden. We we whisper a vague promises one another

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Speaker 1: but what we what are we getting? Rights? One a

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Speaker 1: joyous day? Life's good fortune sure to come your way.

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Speaker 1: Come on, sit back and just relax before you're played

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Speaker 1: the Italian way. We're so glad you came to sell, right?

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Speaker 1: What does today a happy birthday? There's no big deal.

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Speaker 1: You're gonna yepier, miss you great? Yes, let's start with

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Speaker 1: the amuse miss You're okay, you're excused. You're excuse you,

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Speaker 1: you're you're excused. So uh, that's love the agenda as

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Speaker 1: far as I know it from the guy himself, I

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Speaker 1: mean I can't make heads or tail of it. He

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Speaker 1: likes what we're doing. Well, let's take a look at

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Speaker 1: those notes. Okay, yeah here, sorry, y'all, mind watching my

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Speaker 1: child as I used to rest him. Yes, absolute, okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna leve him right here and I'll be right back. Okay.

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Speaker 1: Oh can I have anything? No, you cannot. That was

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Speaker 1: his as his birthday? Please stop? Do you think my

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Speaker 1: dear as it's so good? Okay, one long island in

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Speaker 1: one bottle of thank you? M can you get under

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Speaker 1: the table. I'm okay, allay, I'm going to the table.

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Speaker 1: Thank you. It smells like it's because his feet down there. Look,

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Speaker 1: how do we know this kid is not your to

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Speaker 1: spy on us? Oh? Are you suggesting, Jessica, You've been made,

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Speaker 1: You've been made. Get out, get out. I'm trying to

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Speaker 1: get away. Hey, hey, stamp on it, steps, smash it. Yes,

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Speaker 1: it's an average Sunday at Elvis's Little Chapel. Several couples

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Speaker 1: wait their turn. Oh man, I have no doubt that

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Speaker 1: this is the right call. When I saw you, I

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Speaker 1: thought to myself, what do you think? Okay? Okay? And

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Speaker 1: I thought to myself after you came up to me, Okay,

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Speaker 1: this is gonna be good. Are you guys? You guys next? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we're in line. Okay, are you trying to cut No?

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Speaker 1: We just had with We have a three pm appointment time.

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Speaker 1: Oh cool. Yeah, you can reserve online and get your appointment.

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Speaker 1: Oh I didn't know that. I didn't know that. Okay, Well,

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Speaker 1: it's congratulations. Than congratulations you all getting married as well. Yeah, forever,

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Speaker 1: what about you guys? Forever? Congratulations to you two. We're

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Speaker 1: still in line ahead of you. That's fine. We have

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Speaker 1: not we're not being It feels like you're being a yours.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna kick your fucking ass. Hey, all right, do

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Speaker 1: you know whom I don't want? Oh it's a world

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Speaker 1: champion mm A fighter. Oh he's a world champion. M

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Speaker 1: m A fighter. Sounds like you got a stutter. Alright, everybody,

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Speaker 1: good news is we got ourselves two couples to get

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Speaker 1: married here, and it looks like we've got two witnesses.

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Speaker 1: Are you guys prepared to witness each other's weddings? I

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Speaker 1: will not be witnesses. I don't know. I'm not this

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Speaker 1: son of a bit. Well, somebody needs to be a

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Speaker 1: witness in this situation. You'll be the witness. I'm being

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Speaker 1: the priest. I'm the king, the King, I'm the king. Wait,

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Speaker 1: you didn't know they came down here to get married.

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Speaker 1: But it's the Elvis thing. I'm a preacher and i'm

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Speaker 1: Elvis Press. Wait, baby, you don't know about Elvis Presley.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what that is. Yeah, this is Sunday's

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Speaker 1: little Elvis Presley at church. I want to say thank

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Speaker 1: you for keeping your anger intact. You didn't lose it,

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Speaker 1: and I appreciate that. Look the strength that I have,

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Speaker 1: the power that I have to kill a man, that's

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Speaker 1: a powerful thing. Yeah, and I don't want to use

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Speaker 1: that on just anyone. I love you. What do you

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Speaker 1: hetero talking about over there? All right? Well, you guys,

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Speaker 1: both couples follow me, follow me down this year a

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Speaker 1: part of me after after you. It's a real narrow

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Speaker 1: hallway here. Get your hands off my wife future wife's wait,

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Speaker 1: thank you, king, that's mine. I like that kicking your

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Speaker 1: shin there, bubble, Hey, don't do back off, n I'll

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Speaker 1: kick you, all right. Which one are you couples? Is first?

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Speaker 1: I think we're first? Alright, that sounds good. We have

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Speaker 1: a three thirty appointment. We are standing right here. Good news, guys.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna do this at the same time. Then, I

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Speaker 1: don't think so. I don't think so. Alright, there's what

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Speaker 1: we're gonna do. We're gonna do halfar's up top and

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Speaker 1: in the middle of there is we're gonna cut out.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna do ours to finish it up, and then

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Speaker 1: if you've got time, we'll finish there's up. But I

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Speaker 1: don't think we're gonna have time. Yeah, And what I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna step away right on second

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Speaker 1: and taking to the Elvis impersonator meeting with his agent

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Speaker 1: about the future prospects to get away from the church

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Speaker 1: and get some gags. I'm sorry, I can't do this anymore.

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Speaker 1: These guys just say they don't have any respect for

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Speaker 1: the Gary. You're hot right now, Baby, you're hot right now. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: But if I'm so hot, then why am I sitting

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Speaker 1: in here marrying couples that don't even know that they're

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Speaker 1: here for Elvis weps. We're just getting you. We're getting

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Speaker 1: you warmed up for the big time. I need to

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Speaker 1: be singing. I practiced singing. I'm all sugar, Gary, Gary, Gary.

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Speaker 1: When I met you three and a half years ago

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Speaker 1: at that karaoke bar and you saying blue suede shoes,

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Speaker 1: I knew. I knew you were the one. Well, yeah,

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Speaker 1: and they know I got But I've been in such

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Speaker 1: a stagnes situation here. This church is definitely keeping me back. Listen.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to just marry people. I want to perform.

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Speaker 1: You couldn't perform, and let's be wearing cool clothes and

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Speaker 1: doing dance. You're gonna be doing all that. Who to

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Speaker 1: talk about one ext your thing? Though, Baby, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: need Oh, I don't think so. I'm sorry having a

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00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:15,960
Speaker 1: hard time making hands meat with thet you're getting right now. Look,

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Speaker 1: you gotta lose it all before you gain it up,

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Speaker 1: all right, you gotta give before you take. Hey, baby's work. Oh,

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Speaker 1: it's a it's a we're good, We're good. You are

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Speaker 1: sitting down real quick. Oh it's gonna be hard with this.

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Speaker 1: Tell me, Oh well, why don't even sit in the

382
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Speaker 1: couch stand? There's playing a room on the couch. Wow.

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Speaker 1: So did you tell him? Yeah? I told him I

384
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:43,439
Speaker 1: needed to make more mone I stood up for us.

385
00:23:45,359 --> 00:23:48,479
Speaker 1: I'm looking and it turns out I'm going to invest

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Speaker 1: some of our money, more of our paycheck every Gary,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to hear the rest of all you're

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00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:59,320
Speaker 1: gonna say, Gary, I mean, it's a good thing. He

389
00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:03,560
Speaker 1: just he's gonna take ten extra percent and he's going

390
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:07,960
Speaker 1: to get and then we're pretty much gonna get that.

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Speaker 1: I'm not a practice audience. Okay, I'm your wife, Leo Jason.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to see you guys. Good to see you guys.

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Speaker 1: As my best eminem impersonator, you gotta lose yourself in

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Speaker 1: the music, still on top of it, and how you

395
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:28,720
Speaker 1: feeling with your impersonations? I feel like people really stared

396
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Speaker 1: at me the last gig that I went to with

397
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Speaker 1: my own rim glasses, and uh when I started singing

398
00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:36,840
Speaker 1: watching the Detectives and Allison, they would just stand like

399
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:39,240
Speaker 1: it was weird somehow. Look, they've never seen an Elvis

400
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:42,040
Speaker 1: called Stello impersonator before. Oh is that who you were?

401
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:46,160
Speaker 1: Is that who you were? I'm an Elvis impersonating? Yeah? Alright, guys, listen,

402
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:50,320
Speaker 1: I got really big news, really big news. There's a

403
00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:53,240
Speaker 1: convention coming in town. All right, I'm saying the convention

404
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:57,800
Speaker 1: about conventions. It is the convention convention. Better lose yourself

405
00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:00,520
Speaker 1: than the music, That's right, That's what I'm thinking. So

406
00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:05,320
Speaker 1: added this convention, all conventions become conventions. Do you understand

407
00:25:05,359 --> 00:25:10,440
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. I'm talking countrywide, worldwide, right, universe wide.

408
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:13,480
Speaker 1: We're going to the top, guys, pump it up? And

409
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Speaker 1: who's that? What's that? What was that one? It's as

410
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:18,199
Speaker 1: called Stello? So are you still doing that one? Can?

411
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Speaker 1: You can? You can? You give me a range of

412
00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:23,360
Speaker 1: something else? You know, what's really hot right now with people? Um?

413
00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:30,640
Speaker 1: What's hot with people right now? I can? Okay, you're great.

414
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:33,840
Speaker 1: It was great something for Jason Okay, why why do

415
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:42,080
Speaker 1: you try Jackie Kennedy? Can you Jackie Kennedy? No? Guy? Oh?

416
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:44,880
Speaker 1: What's all this blood all over my pink dress? Okay,

417
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:47,200
Speaker 1: that's good, that's good. I got a piece of brain

418
00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:51,240
Speaker 1: on it. Okay, good guys. Car conventions like trying to conventions,

419
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:55,560
Speaker 1: Rain conventions, motor cycle conventions. They're all gonna be here,

420
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:58,159
Speaker 1: and they all need people who look like celebrities. It

421
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:01,520
Speaker 1: sounds like a flea market. Same agent now meets with

422
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:08,080
Speaker 1: a Jennifer Lawrence impersonator. Wow, I'm sorry I fell coming in.

423
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:13,760
Speaker 1: Denise very relatable. Yeah, I know, Denise, that's like your thing.

424
00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:17,679
Speaker 1: It is my thing right now. It's client an agent.

425
00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:22,760
Speaker 1: I don't even think I'm pretty. That's kind of the thing.

426
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:30,359
Speaker 1: You're not that pretty, Denise. Wow. Wow, wait till I

427
00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:40,280
Speaker 1: sell my squad your family. I'm still in character. Denise,

428
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:43,879
Speaker 1: you're not attractive. I heard. I heard that. I'm trying

429
00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:47,160
Speaker 1: to not hear it. You have a huge family. Yeah,

430
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:51,440
Speaker 1: your squad they need money, they need what's about to

431
00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:55,840
Speaker 1: happen in here? Why are the doors locked? I need

432
00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:58,560
Speaker 1: you to do something. I need to do something. They

433
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:01,359
Speaker 1: have to kill someone. I need you to kill somebody

434
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:05,000
Speaker 1: I knew it. Look at me, Look at me? You

435
00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:08,639
Speaker 1: know Jason, the English guy who has impressions? Oh, the

436
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:12,640
Speaker 1: Elvis Costello guy. Yeah, that's what he says, he does.

437
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:15,199
Speaker 1: It's kind of written on his jacket. Now I need

438
00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:20,600
Speaker 1: you to kill him? Why another one, Jason? Yeah? Another one?

439
00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:27,360
Speaker 1: WHOA sorry, lady? H yeah, I just took a page

440
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:30,159
Speaker 1: out of my Silver Windings playbook. It's me Jennifer Lawrence.

441
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:35,760
Speaker 1: Jennifer Lawrence, very famous. You look older, that's what the

442
00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:41,440
Speaker 1: camera smooth's interesting. Oh yeah, you look completely different. Oh

443
00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:50,359
Speaker 1: my gosh, are you the real Elvis Costello? I do?

444
00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:57,120
Speaker 1: I do conventions to Jackie Kennedy? Have you ever wanted

445
00:27:57,160 --> 00:28:00,359
Speaker 1: to be seduced? Have I ever wanted to be duced?

446
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:04,760
Speaker 1: Is that a thing that would interest you? We're also conversely?

447
00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:10,360
Speaker 1: Are you very strong? If I was looking into tactics?

448
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:15,840
Speaker 1: He drink this? We don't outside drinks. That's all right, mate,

449
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:17,879
Speaker 1: She clearly has a drink for me. All right, you

450
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:21,800
Speaker 1: can excuse yourself. I work here, so do I in

451
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:24,920
Speaker 1: a way. It's delicious. What is it? What is this?

452
00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:28,280
Speaker 1: Go away waiter? No I have I'm a bartender. I

453
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:30,480
Speaker 1: have to be here well, then you should we move.

454
00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:35,400
Speaker 1: I don't know. I thought the customer was always right. Yeah,

455
00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:47,640
Speaker 1: but I drink this ship's real good fireball and poison.

456
00:28:49,080 --> 00:29:01,920
Speaker 1: Oh Tom, Tom, Oh, last name Stevenson. Are you tending

457
00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:06,200
Speaker 1: out drinks? Oh? I'm Jennifer Lawrence. Whoa cool pick your

458
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:23,360
Speaker 1: boys in up your car? Seen three where that same

459
00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:28,600
Speaker 1: female impersonator, Well, the female who impersonates Jennifer Lawrence is

460
00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:33,280
Speaker 1: in prison and she's meeting with the new therapist. Oh

461
00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:37,080
Speaker 1: it's not good. No, it's not great. It's not good.

462
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:41,280
Speaker 1: Look at me. I've already been sentenced. I know, I'm

463
00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:45,360
Speaker 1: looking at you. You say you've been sentenced. That's on

464
00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:51,000
Speaker 1: the outside. How long have you been locked up on

465
00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:54,520
Speaker 1: the inside. I mean I've been here two and a

466
00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:58,280
Speaker 1: half weeks. Denise, you know what I mean? How long

467
00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:04,280
Speaker 1: have you been locked in? Side? I? Um? I mean

468
00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:08,840
Speaker 1: everything was like fine until it wasn't. Were you always

469
00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:17,320
Speaker 1: like like, were you always unattractive? Okay okay, um no,

470
00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:19,960
Speaker 1: And everybody always used to stop me because they thought

471
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:22,000
Speaker 1: I looked just like Jennifer Lawrence. If you would look

472
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,920
Speaker 1: at my file on the first page, you see that

473
00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:28,920
Speaker 1: that's a picture of the real Jennifer exactly, and I

474
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:33,239
Speaker 1: made sure they included that, how eerie isn't it her

475
00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:37,640
Speaker 1: head in my head? How similar eerie? It could almost

476
00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:41,840
Speaker 1: make a person mad. You're on death row, correct, Denise.

477
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:45,280
Speaker 1: You don't have much time. I mean they said it

478
00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:48,160
Speaker 1: could take a while. I've heard they're pushing for a

479
00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:52,480
Speaker 1: quick death for you. What I'm trying to get to

480
00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:55,560
Speaker 1: is what can we do now to put your insides

481
00:30:55,800 --> 00:31:00,120
Speaker 1: at ease? Or they inject you with a lethal the

482
00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:04,040
Speaker 1: ghost of something I don't I really don't like bringing

483
00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:09,760
Speaker 1: that up. Um, I mean, I'm bummed out about everything, obviously.

484
00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:12,200
Speaker 1: Why are you working in a prison? Are you the

485
00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:15,960
Speaker 1: worst therapist? You want to ask questions? I'm happy to

486
00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:18,400
Speaker 1: answer that here. Why don't you sit here? Then? I'd

487
00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:23,520
Speaker 1: love to Oh, it's why am I working in a prison?

488
00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:31,240
Speaker 1: That's right, Well, I wasn't fit for the put my

489
00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:36,080
Speaker 1: gun down, sudden, leave your desk door open, officer. I'm

490
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:38,760
Speaker 1: not an officer. I'm a therapist. Have you ever seen

491
00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:43,320
Speaker 1: the Hunger Games? Yes? I was pretty great in that. Huh?

492
00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:50,040
Speaker 1: Are you hungry? I don't want it either? Hungry? Pull it?

493
00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:56,640
Speaker 1: Pull a fucking tuggar, pull trigger because I don't like

494
00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:58,840
Speaker 1: it here, and I don't like myself. Put it back

495
00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:03,960
Speaker 1: in my mouth, give it, give it? Okay, like that

496
00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:07,560
Speaker 1: to put it down. You're you're a nice guy. What

497
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:11,080
Speaker 1: about you? I'm bad And that's going to end today's session.

498
00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:24,080
Speaker 1: We now take you to the old board hearing. Hello, Tyler,

499
00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:31,680
Speaker 1: you're here. We you're here again. You are a multiple

500
00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:36,080
Speaker 1: murderer at your upper parole again. But we just want

501
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:38,760
Speaker 1: to know if you've rehabilitated yourself since the last time

502
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:41,440
Speaker 1: we saw you. I think I feel better. I think

503
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:44,520
Speaker 1: I feel a lot better. One thing, I don't dream

504
00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:49,000
Speaker 1: about anymore. I don't dream about the bunnies anymore. You're

505
00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:51,360
Speaker 1: not dreaming about the bunnies. Okay. These are the same

506
00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:56,720
Speaker 1: bunnies that told you to kill Okay, Well, that's good.

507
00:32:57,080 --> 00:33:03,480
Speaker 1: That's that's sorry. I was distracted and that what's the matter, Gene,

508
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:06,200
Speaker 1: nothing's matter. Don't make this about me. I'm glad to

509
00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:08,840
Speaker 1: hear you're not dreaming about those bunnies anymore. Body. That's good.

510
00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:17,640
Speaker 1: M My roommate is sleeping right, Okay, good, that's progress.

511
00:33:17,680 --> 00:33:19,360
Speaker 1: Just to know that they're letting you have a roommate,

512
00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:23,640
Speaker 1: you know, that's great. You'd killed previous cellmate. It took

513
00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:28,800
Speaker 1: his face. You took his face. We don't need to

514
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:31,720
Speaker 1: have this meeting. Yeah, would you take me home and

515
00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:34,920
Speaker 1: make me your boy? Tyler? I can't do that. You're

516
00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:39,320
Speaker 1: gonna stay here forever? Okay? Okay, do you mind if

517
00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:41,920
Speaker 1: I stay in your house as a boy. I'm Tyler.

518
00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:46,920
Speaker 1: I'm gonna stick with very much, very much. Hi, guys,

519
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:50,560
Speaker 1: we have your next prisoner. We'll see Tyler. Okay, you

520
00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:52,720
Speaker 1: can start dreaming about the bunnies. It's not gonna matter,

521
00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:59,080
Speaker 1: all right. I'm just I don't know how many more

522
00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:01,000
Speaker 1: times I'm going to be up for parole and really

523
00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:05,640
Speaker 1: hoping this goes well. They legalized cannabis in California, so

524
00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:10,600
Speaker 1: maybe we could just let my charges um drop? Would

525
00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:14,040
Speaker 1: that we could? Um? Okay? Smart? And I've pulled it up?

526
00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:18,520
Speaker 1: Is that you know? You know that's right? Shmarnin. What

527
00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:21,120
Speaker 1: is what is the derivation of that? I believe it's Irish?

528
00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:23,720
Speaker 1: But I haven't seen my family since I was under reage.

529
00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:28,560
Speaker 1: I've been in jail a long time. It seems silly.

530
00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:30,920
Speaker 1: When I see the once in a while they give

531
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:34,920
Speaker 1: me a newspaper. It seems pretty common to people smoke. Well,

532
00:34:34,960 --> 00:34:36,839
Speaker 1: the good news is you're up for parole, so maybe

533
00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:40,040
Speaker 1: we don't have to talk about right. I'm sorry, I'm

534
00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:44,120
Speaker 1: just all nervous because every every time I um, it's

535
00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:48,600
Speaker 1: just I feel maybe it's your attitude. Barnon, I'm sorry, Okay,

536
00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:51,600
Speaker 1: I'll just be quiet. You dark, Yes, Martin, you were

537
00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:56,839
Speaker 1: you were found with two grams of marijuana in that's true.

538
00:34:56,960 --> 00:35:01,840
Speaker 1: That's pretty bad stuff. Yeah, that's pretty bad stuff. Do

539
00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:04,520
Speaker 1: you agree that that's pretty bad stuff? It's awful. I

540
00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:08,800
Speaker 1: am so sorry. I'm so sorry. Were you pushing that

541
00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:12,680
Speaker 1: refer on the other kids? It was honestly, I honestly

542
00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:15,640
Speaker 1: was sharing it for free with my friends at the time,

543
00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:18,319
Speaker 1: for free to get them hooked, to get them hooked

544
00:35:18,360 --> 00:35:22,520
Speaker 1: on the reefer. You, we were all smoking it together.

545
00:35:22,719 --> 00:35:25,840
Speaker 1: We were seeing it was a gang, a gang, and

546
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:28,000
Speaker 1: so you want to get out to smoke more. Refer

547
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:29,880
Speaker 1: That's not what I said. I said that we were

548
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:31,880
Speaker 1: doing it for three years ago. You said it's legal now,

549
00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:36,000
Speaker 1: so you think it's okay. It was weird to lead

550
00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:39,200
Speaker 1: with it was legal. You just think that means the

551
00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:41,400
Speaker 1: rules would be different now if I was caught with

552
00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:43,800
Speaker 1: the same thing. Yes, guys, we have your next presidenters,

553
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:46,719
Speaker 1: so you gotta make a decision. Okay, back in solitary,

554
00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:52,520
Speaker 1: smart yeah, yeah, yeah, what it do? Shoot him up?

555
00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:57,279
Speaker 1: Shoot him up? What's up, cutie, poe y dog? How

556
00:35:57,400 --> 00:35:59,719
Speaker 1: do Bingo? It's great to see you again. This one's

557
00:35:59,719 --> 00:36:02,960
Speaker 1: always all right, MC Bengo. What's that? What's up? Are

558
00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:10,680
Speaker 1: you looking good? Thanks? Many? Get over here? So strong,

559
00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:16,000
Speaker 1: you're strong. Just give you a looking thank you? Yeah,

560
00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:19,880
Speaker 1: I make it myself here. Well that's industrious. Make a

561
00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:22,920
Speaker 1: market okay, make it a marked yeah yeah yeah, yea

562
00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:25,960
Speaker 1: yeah yeah. So so Bengo, did you enjoy the improvements

563
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:31,080
Speaker 1: we made to the prison gym? Yes, yeah, yeah I did.

564
00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:36,719
Speaker 1: I did. I'm still getting those uh those blisters so well.

565
00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:39,760
Speaker 1: I was thinking maybe check this out. Maybe we wouldn't

566
00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:46,680
Speaker 1: have to adjust the barbells if you, Josh, you are

567
00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:50,960
Speaker 1: so fun fun. Yeah. Look, I don't lie to you.

568
00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:53,359
Speaker 1: I don't I don't like to you. Guys. I gotta

569
00:36:53,360 --> 00:36:56,080
Speaker 1: tell you one quick thing, one quick thing this morning.

570
00:36:57,200 --> 00:36:59,480
Speaker 1: Uh in the mess hall. Think about it before you

571
00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:03,160
Speaker 1: say it. We really want you in the mess hole. Um.

572
00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:06,480
Speaker 1: I was disrespected. I was disrespected, and I'm a man

573
00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:12,040
Speaker 1: of respect. And I put a tray to a guard's face. Okay,

574
00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:17,239
Speaker 1: but but but but but he's still alive. Okay, there's

575
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:20,200
Speaker 1: one from columb A. One from columb I mean, you're

576
00:37:20,239 --> 00:37:23,560
Speaker 1: in here. It seems like a big misunderstanding because you

577
00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:27,879
Speaker 1: told us last week when you were up the cookies, uh,

578
00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:30,839
Speaker 1: that you know it wasn't what it looked like. Yeah,

579
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:33,239
Speaker 1: and that's the thing other most prisoners is what it

580
00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:35,560
Speaker 1: looks like. No, no, no, no, that's the thing with me.

581
00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:38,319
Speaker 1: I learned it here. Don't judge. Don't judge a book.

582
00:37:38,719 --> 00:37:40,359
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? When I slaughtered that family

583
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:43,480
Speaker 1: on the outside, Yeah, they said I slaughtered, right, I

584
00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:46,080
Speaker 1: sent I sent him, I sent him to God. Do

585
00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:48,960
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? I can't wait to think

586
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:52,920
Speaker 1: of hello from You're gonna have a you have another appointment?

587
00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:57,320
Speaker 1: Who are you? I'm one of the new parolee assistants.

588
00:37:57,520 --> 00:37:59,759
Speaker 1: I'm just that it's such a revolving door with these

589
00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:07,840
Speaker 1: new parole that somebody running around he's a prisoner. His

590
00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:19,640
Speaker 1: name is Tenny. He's killing everybody, said Locker said. Is

591
00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:22,480
Speaker 1: that a beat? The doors being well? Press play on

592
00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:25,279
Speaker 1: the mixtape. Hey guys say it's Uh, I guess I'm

593
00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:31,080
Speaker 1: locked heating with you guys. I'm Timmy. Tenny looks a

594
00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:37,680
Speaker 1: lot like Tyler. Tyler. Am I talking to Tenny now?

595
00:38:37,760 --> 00:38:43,920
Speaker 1: Or am I talking to Tyler? Tenny? Ty Tyler's here too, Okay, Tyler,

596
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:46,879
Speaker 1: stay in there, Tyler, talk to the rabbits. Just talk

597
00:38:46,920 --> 00:38:52,800
Speaker 1: to the rabbits. Okay. We respect you, We respect you, Tenny.

598
00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:58,439
Speaker 1: Please please. Tyler is nuts, okay, and I'm doing everything

599
00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:01,560
Speaker 1: that can to keep him, but he's he keeps popping up.

600
00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:03,520
Speaker 1: I'm gonna needs you to to start kissing right now.

601
00:39:03,719 --> 00:39:08,120
Speaker 1: What that's gonna It's gonna calm Tyler down where we're

602
00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:11,920
Speaker 1: each another relationship. We've never even had a chemistry like that.

603
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:13,640
Speaker 1: I mean, I think of him like a brother. I

604
00:39:13,719 --> 00:39:19,480
Speaker 1: want to come out. Stay in there, Tylor. Okay, um this,

605
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:22,560
Speaker 1: do it? Do it? Do it? Do it? Do it?

606
00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:25,800
Speaker 1: Is this good? Do you like this? I do? Welcome

607
00:39:26,160 --> 00:39:32,560
Speaker 1: to your therapy session? All right? Thank you? Um, I

608
00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:36,600
Speaker 1: see you were you were rejected for Pearl. I don't

609
00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:38,480
Speaker 1: understand why. I just feel like there's a lot of

610
00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:41,799
Speaker 1: people that get out on on worse crimes than mine.

611
00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:45,680
Speaker 1: I feel uncairly judged, But do you think it's your

612
00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:48,560
Speaker 1: concern what others think about you, all right? I mean

613
00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:51,799
Speaker 1: you tell me you're the you're the near your business. See,

614
00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:54,640
Speaker 1: I just feel like, can I be completely honest? Hey,

615
00:39:54,719 --> 00:39:56,520
Speaker 1: this is an honest room, you see. That's all right there?

616
00:39:57,280 --> 00:40:01,480
Speaker 1: Oh that's nice, that's very motivational. Yeah, I am unfairly judged,

617
00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:06,319
Speaker 1: and I think you have a smug, asshole face. Now

618
00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:08,440
Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm every I don't even know

619
00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:10,359
Speaker 1: if I'm gonna be alive for the next parole hearing.

620
00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:13,040
Speaker 1: But I'll tell you I just wanted to get out.

621
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:16,160
Speaker 1: I wanted to maybe see trees. I haven't seen a tree.

622
00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:19,000
Speaker 1: Or do you do a therapy session between that prison

623
00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:25,560
Speaker 1: therapist and his therapist? Don't, Janice? Don't? Okay, I get it,

624
00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:29,399
Speaker 1: Dr Janice, Do you get it? Because it doesn't seem

625
00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:31,360
Speaker 1: like you get it. We're doing the same thing again

626
00:40:31,480 --> 00:40:33,080
Speaker 1: because I know what you're going to say before you're

627
00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:34,439
Speaker 1: gonna say you don't know what I'm going to say.

628
00:40:35,320 --> 00:40:41,560
Speaker 1: Let's try Okay, one, two, three, Banana Cake, I've proved

629
00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:44,920
Speaker 1: myself right again, and as your superior therapist, I have

630
00:40:45,080 --> 00:40:47,400
Speaker 1: to say things are not looking good. Is that right?

631
00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:50,360
Speaker 1: You're not helping anyone. You say you got into this

632
00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:52,839
Speaker 1: to help people, and yet you're telling me about people

633
00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:58,160
Speaker 1: you broke down time and again. And how's that unhelpful? Janice? Okay, Scott, listen,

634
00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:02,200
Speaker 1: it's Dr Scott No in my office. I'm the doctor

635
00:41:02,719 --> 00:41:07,359
Speaker 1: and you're just Scott. Okay, point taken. Now you say,

636
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:13,040
Speaker 1: point taken, Point taken. Point taken. Now, Um, we all

637
00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:16,799
Speaker 1: know you're a therapist in prison because you're very bad therapist.

638
00:41:16,960 --> 00:41:23,120
Speaker 1: I'm the baddest, the worst, You're the worst. Point taken.

639
00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:31,080
Speaker 1: How does that feel? Um? Not great? I can I

640
00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:35,560
Speaker 1: keep a loaded gun in my desk. It's just prison regulation, sure,

641
00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:39,160
Speaker 1: but I often hope that dramatizing. Don't make this about

642
00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:41,520
Speaker 1: the drama. Make this about the truth. That is what

643
00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:44,040
Speaker 1: you do, Scott. You need to start making this about

644
00:41:44,080 --> 00:41:48,200
Speaker 1: the truth. Okay, Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, excuse me.

645
00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:52,200
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm gonna watch. I'm just moderating, pretend like

646
00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:55,680
Speaker 1: I'm not here. I'm just gonna watch your moderating. I've

647
00:41:55,719 --> 00:41:57,719
Speaker 1: gotten the promotion. It's pretty big deal. I don't want

648
00:41:57,719 --> 00:41:59,000
Speaker 1: to make a big deal out of it here. I'm

649
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:03,920
Speaker 1: just gonna watch your therapy, Scott, doctor Scott Clarence, and

650
00:42:03,960 --> 00:42:06,080
Speaker 1: this is just clearance. He's not a doctor, but apparently

651
00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:10,560
Speaker 1: you got that. I'm a professor, Oh, professor Clarence. Pleasure,

652
00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:13,200
Speaker 1: but pretend I'm not here. I'm just watching. I can.

653
00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:16,960
Speaker 1: You have a great personality. Thank you, thank you. It

654
00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:19,759
Speaker 1: is a huge head. Actually, you have like a movie

655
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:22,879
Speaker 1: stars head. Actually, why don't I just observe you too,

656
00:42:22,920 --> 00:42:27,360
Speaker 1: I'll moderate this. No, no, no, no jerk. What do

657
00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:29,719
Speaker 1: you guys do? Yeah, we circle jerk. We're standing the

658
00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:32,040
Speaker 1: circle and jerk each other off. You wouldn't understand because

659
00:42:32,040 --> 00:42:35,879
Speaker 1: you're a woman anyway, So I'm where where are we? Well,

660
00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:37,959
Speaker 1: I don't know where you guys were because I wasn't

661
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:40,880
Speaker 1: in the room. And now we take you to that

662
00:42:41,160 --> 00:42:46,040
Speaker 1: therapist and her therapist back Craig, So how's how's everything going?

663
00:42:47,239 --> 00:42:50,160
Speaker 1: They sent clearance into moderate and I said a circle

664
00:42:50,239 --> 00:42:52,440
Speaker 1: jerk thing that got reported to HR and things are

665
00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:55,320
Speaker 1: not good right now? Okay, did they start circle jerking? No,

666
00:42:55,440 --> 00:42:57,200
Speaker 1: they just talked about it. They explained it to me.

667
00:42:57,480 --> 00:42:59,400
Speaker 1: I didn't know. I thought it was a phrase, but

668
00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:02,200
Speaker 1: it's a thing, And I mean I stole them a

669
00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:04,560
Speaker 1: little that's a thing, and people do it to each other.

670
00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:06,160
Speaker 1: I thought they would just you wouldn't know because you're

671
00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:11,359
Speaker 1: a woman, right, has everything going with that? Mob boss? Um?

672
00:43:11,480 --> 00:43:16,880
Speaker 1: Not great? Really killing people? Like what's going on? This

673
00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:21,239
Speaker 1: is therapy? You? Look? Why are you so giddy? You

674
00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:23,680
Speaker 1: just think it's cool that you're seeing a mob boss.

675
00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:26,359
Speaker 1: I'm not seeing a mom Well, I mean you're seeing

676
00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:29,080
Speaker 1: him as a patient, yes, but I mean you're probably

677
00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:30,920
Speaker 1: have feelings for him to like what's going on there?

678
00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:34,239
Speaker 1: I don't have feelings for him. You're excited by the

679
00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:40,400
Speaker 1: dangers going on. Stop it you vicariously excited? Feel What

680
00:43:40,520 --> 00:43:43,240
Speaker 1: are you You're not taking notes? What are you drawing?

681
00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:51,439
Speaker 1: That looks like that's just a private doodle. It looked

682
00:43:51,480 --> 00:43:58,920
Speaker 1: like it involved me. What's not? Are you writing a

683
00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:04,120
Speaker 1: graphic novel? Helped me? Huh? Look, most of the time

684
00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:05,759
Speaker 1: I barely pay attention to you know, I've just been

685
00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:10,719
Speaker 1: working on the graphic novel, Nathan. Yes, that's how I

686
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:19,200
Speaker 1: see you. Tail is weird, but it's powerful. It looks

687
00:44:19,239 --> 00:44:23,280
Speaker 1: special and then there's a circle jerk during the page.

688
00:44:25,200 --> 00:44:27,959
Speaker 1: But that's what it looks like. That's future reference. Yeah,

689
00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:30,560
Speaker 1: so we got a hundred cities. Okay, we're gonna do

690
00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:32,560
Speaker 1: a whole press to for you. It's gonna be fantastic.

691
00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:35,400
Speaker 1: People love this, okay, Okay, Mind of the Killer. This

692
00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:37,840
Speaker 1: is a fantastic graphic. Now. People gonna go nuts for

693
00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:40,239
Speaker 1: this thing. Okay. So just yeah, So just know that

694
00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:42,880
Speaker 1: through all this and everything that's gonna be gonna hit

695
00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:44,080
Speaker 1: a lot of bumps, a lot of a lot of

696
00:44:44,160 --> 00:44:47,360
Speaker 1: different creeks as they're called. So just just stay the

697
00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:51,200
Speaker 1: courser at their psychology. You know, people, people are gonna

698
00:44:51,200 --> 00:44:52,279
Speaker 1: try to talk with you, you know what I mean,

699
00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:53,520
Speaker 1: trying to get in your head, try and take some

700
00:44:53,560 --> 00:44:56,040
Speaker 1: stuff out of your wallet. Don't let it happen, all right, Okay,

701
00:44:56,080 --> 00:44:57,799
Speaker 1: Well that's that's why I hired you. That's it. Okay,

702
00:44:57,800 --> 00:45:00,520
Speaker 1: I'm the muscle around here. Please have a sea. We're

703
00:45:00,680 --> 00:45:03,400
Speaker 1: very happy that you made time for us, you know,

704
00:45:04,480 --> 00:45:06,919
Speaker 1: that's one way to put it. Well, I really didn't

705
00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:09,880
Speaker 1: have a choice. I read your book and I got

706
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:13,719
Speaker 1: a couple of questions. M He gave names at the

707
00:45:13,880 --> 00:45:16,879
Speaker 1: end there, and my name happened to be one of them.

708
00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:21,359
Speaker 1: So my question to you is when's the last time

709
00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:25,879
Speaker 1: you talk to your family? Your wife, that. This morning,

710
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:28,040
Speaker 1: I said goodbye to my wife. Yeah, would you like

711
00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:31,840
Speaker 1: to talk to her again? Yeah? I wouldn't. I'll go

712
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:36,120
Speaker 1: get a really quick bring her rent. What. I just

713
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:39,560
Speaker 1: think there's a few corrections that the book that needs

714
00:45:39,600 --> 00:45:42,080
Speaker 1: to be made. What's going on? What just happened? To?

715
00:45:42,200 --> 00:45:47,240
Speaker 1: Shut up? Shut up and stand there, Dale. I'm so sorry, Ethan.

716
00:45:47,320 --> 00:45:49,960
Speaker 1: What is happening now? I wrote a graphic novel about

717
00:45:49,960 --> 00:45:52,560
Speaker 1: one of my patients having an affair with a mop boss.

718
00:45:53,239 --> 00:45:56,879
Speaker 1: What with with Mr Massa peak Away? Here? Mr Massa

719
00:45:56,920 --> 00:46:02,960
Speaker 1: peak ahead of the Massa Peakway family. Oh you Nat,

720
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:05,400
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, Gail Nathan. I didn't mean to bring

721
00:46:05,480 --> 00:46:07,560
Speaker 1: you into this. The last time he talked you a

722
00:46:07,600 --> 00:46:10,720
Speaker 1: little boy? Timmy? When when was the last time? Bringing

723
00:46:11,800 --> 00:46:13,960
Speaker 1: this morning? I said goodbye this morning, I said goodbye

724
00:46:13,960 --> 00:46:21,520
Speaker 1: to hey, Oh Tammy, Tammy. I'm so sorry. Candy bars,

725
00:46:21,600 --> 00:46:27,440
Speaker 1: they have skinners. They have two puppy dogs. I'm so crazy.

726
00:46:27,560 --> 00:46:30,160
Speaker 1: Don't give my kids sugar. You can't handle that much sugar,

727
00:46:33,480 --> 00:46:35,360
Speaker 1: you know? I like I like abrut. The puppies like

728
00:46:35,400 --> 00:46:38,439
Speaker 1: your lick stuff ause I like lick stuff too. He's

729
00:46:38,480 --> 00:46:40,920
Speaker 1: not supposed to have a puppy. He has allergies. What

730
00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:46,080
Speaker 1: are you doing? Go get a few chocolate puppies. Monsters, monsters.

731
00:46:47,560 --> 00:46:49,640
Speaker 1: This is worse than I Drew. I want to thank

732
00:46:49,680 --> 00:46:51,840
Speaker 1: you very much for joining us. Right to us is

733
00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:56,080
Speaker 1: always at your name here at Alchemy. This let's say

734
00:46:56,120 --> 00:46:59,320
Speaker 1: goodbye around the table, starting with James Heeney. James, thanks again,

735
00:46:59,560 --> 00:47:01,959
Speaker 1: thanks for me. If you'd like some more James Heeney,

736
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:03,840
Speaker 1: you can go to the real James Heney on YouTube

737
00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:05,920
Speaker 1: or check out Bear Supply at the west Side Comedy

738
00:47:05,960 --> 00:47:08,239
Speaker 1: Theater on the second and fourth Wednesdays every month. And

739
00:47:08,320 --> 00:47:11,080
Speaker 1: if we don't well then you're gonna miss out. Alrighty,

740
00:47:11,360 --> 00:47:13,719
Speaker 1: Vanessa Ragling, what do you got? You can check out

741
00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:17,920
Speaker 1: Dynasty Diypewriter Dynasty dipwriter dot com. It's a new beautiful

742
00:47:18,280 --> 00:47:21,440
Speaker 1: venue for comedy music for Ian Mare. You can find

743
00:47:21,520 --> 00:47:24,360
Speaker 1: us on Instagram. And Done is a dipwriter. Such a

744
00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:27,399
Speaker 1: great venue. Joey career. Second up what James said. Bear

745
00:47:27,440 --> 00:47:29,839
Speaker 1: Supply nine o'clock, second and fourth Wednesday at west Side

746
00:47:29,840 --> 00:47:33,719
Speaker 1: Comedy Theater at Jebby Grieber on Instagram. Pictures of my

747
00:47:33,800 --> 00:47:37,880
Speaker 1: feet check it out. One last request Joey as a

748
00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:42,919
Speaker 1: follow up for next show. Yeah pants, Okay, that's cool. Great.

749
00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:46,440
Speaker 1: Kakowski at Kaikowski on Twitter spelled just like it sounds.

750
00:47:46,760 --> 00:47:52,680
Speaker 1: Kakowskiski just rolls up the tongue and the pen. Christov Varano,

751
00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:54,440
Speaker 1: bring us home. You know what? I want to read?

752
00:47:54,480 --> 00:47:57,200
Speaker 1: Some more traffic to my website now if people haven't

753
00:47:57,200 --> 00:48:00,319
Speaker 1: been there to year. So that's www dot Chris dash

754
00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:03,959
Speaker 1: alvarda dot com. You see the other one was taken

755
00:48:04,400 --> 00:48:09,640
Speaker 1: to see years of different headshots I've taken Rafael. Let's

756
00:48:09,680 --> 00:48:14,719
Speaker 1: all say his name together, shall we? You can find

757
00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:18,600
Speaker 1: a match. DJ Decide Project. Thank you, DJ Decide Project.

758
00:48:18,719 --> 00:48:23,359
Speaker 1: Until next time. An is always Alchemy Man