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Speaker 1: Yeah, we want to know, like, where's the kindness in

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Speaker 1: your chest? And okay, can you bring your focus back

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Speaker 1: to the fact that, like your hands feel safe, learning

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Speaker 1: that like your body is a resource as well, so like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: your heart is racing, but your body at the same

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Speaker 1: time as a resource, and so where does your body

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Speaker 1: feel safe? Can you connect those things? Hi, guys, and

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Speaker 1: welcome back to You Need Therapy Podcast. I am your

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Speaker 1: host Cat and today we are going into the depths

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Speaker 1: of that thing that we all probably have or had

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Speaker 1: at some point, but we might not have known it

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Speaker 1: until all of a sudden, everybody's talking about it these days.

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Speaker 1: Dunt dun dun dun dune. Anxiety. Anxiety. It is the

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Speaker 1: thing that I didn't know was really my life until

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Speaker 1: I was twenty two and I was sitting in the

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Speaker 1: classroom learning about anxiety and I'm like, oh, so, like

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Speaker 1: the way my mind works isn't normal, isn't the way

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Speaker 1: we're supposed to be? Something's not right? Okay, this all

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Speaker 1: makes sense now. Today me and my friend Megan, which

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Speaker 1: this is the last episode Megan actually co host with me,

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Speaker 1: So it's like kind of bitter sweet, but um, we

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Speaker 1: go into what what anxiety is and what how it

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Speaker 1: affects us and how to kind of heal and find

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Speaker 1: some help with it. And again, these are starting conversations.

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Speaker 1: So if this is hitting you and you're like, oh, whoa,

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Speaker 1: You're like me when I was in school, being like,

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Speaker 1: oh I have that, then I really suggest you, guys

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Speaker 1: reaching out and getting some help around this. We cover

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Speaker 1: in some of our Q and A episodes how to

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Speaker 1: get help and find a therapist, and so if that

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Speaker 1: seems like something that's hard or scarier, you don't even

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Speaker 1: know where to start, right, like how do I even

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Speaker 1: start finding a therapist? Listen to those episodes and hopefully

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Speaker 1: that will be helpful to you. I'm excited for you

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Speaker 1: to hear this because it's been helpful for me in

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Speaker 1: my life to learn about this topic as well. And

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Speaker 1: as always, you can follow me on Instagram at at

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Speaker 1: cat dot de fata. You can follow the podcast at

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Speaker 1: at you Need Therapy Podcast, and you can join our

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Speaker 1: self Love Club, which is a newsletter I signed out

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Speaker 1: every Monday with the new episodes. You can sign up

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Speaker 1: for that on our website at You Need Therapy podcast

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Speaker 1: dot com. I hope you guys enjoy this and get

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Speaker 1: something out of it, and I also hope you have

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Speaker 1: a wonderful rest of your week, whatever day of the

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Speaker 1: week you're on, and hopefully be connecting with you guys

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Speaker 1: somewhere on the interweb soon. Here's my conversation with Megan

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Speaker 1: today we have I don't like it's almost like a

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Speaker 1: beginner's guy. Are you doing a beginner's guy to anxiety? So, um,

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Speaker 1: I thought we both thought it would be important to

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Speaker 1: talk about just generally anxiety because one, it is the

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Speaker 1: most common emotional um disorder that there is, and I

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Speaker 1: mean it's all over social media. Everybody has anxiety. There's

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Speaker 1: a lot of memes and stuff about it. And at

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Speaker 1: the same time, I don't know if people really get

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Speaker 1: what it is, what's happening, how to help it, and

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Speaker 1: that it can be really serious. So we just want

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Speaker 1: to take you through kind of all of those things,

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Speaker 1: and um I also put out a question on my

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Speaker 1: Instagram about like, what do you want to know? So

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Speaker 1: we're going to kind of explain over arching what anxiety

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Speaker 1: is and all that stuff, and then at the end,

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Speaker 1: if we haven't answered all those questions that I got,

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Speaker 1: we're going to go through some of them and answer them.

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Speaker 1: Kind of like on on the fly and thank you

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Speaker 1: guys for sending the questions because there are some good

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Speaker 1: ones and um, I really appreciate that. So that being said,

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Speaker 1: I know in my experience, I have a lot of

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Speaker 1: anxiety high anxiety, and have it my whole life, yet

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Speaker 1: didn't realize I had it till I was UM and

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Speaker 1: Megan has her own experience with anxiety very much because

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Speaker 1: we're both seven being six. Yeah, so I mean we

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Speaker 1: have a lot of fun and have a lot of anxiety. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but I think for me and I took off for

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Speaker 1: me to piece it together. But I remember being like, wait,

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Speaker 1: what not? I guess it was I imagined that that

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Speaker 1: was normal for me to feel that way and there's

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Speaker 1: really nothing I can do about it. I didn't think

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Speaker 1: there was anything wrong with me. I just felt like

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Speaker 1: everybody feels like this and everybody has these thoughts and

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Speaker 1: everybody worries like this. Oh I never thought that, well,

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Speaker 1: I guess, so I don't know. I was like, this

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Speaker 1: is Yeah, I think it was so like so visceral

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Speaker 1: in my body all the time. Like so, I mean

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Speaker 1: with anxiety is so much like a adrenaline. Um that Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean I got really good at managing you met

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Speaker 1: anxiety with you know, alcohol and downers and anything I

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Speaker 1: could like do to like dampen it um, and then

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Speaker 1: that probably made it worse. Yeah, because that's the thing.

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Speaker 1: That's what I tell clients even I'm like, you can,

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Speaker 1: you know, go drink. I guess I wouldn't promote it,

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Speaker 1: but it's like might work for like a little bit,

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Speaker 1: but it's going to actually be worse when you like

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Speaker 1: start sobering up um or like same thing if you're

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Speaker 1: using different drugs not as prescribed. So yes, which let's

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Speaker 1: put the caveat now, so you guys know what you're

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Speaker 1: getting into. If you have struggle with anxiety or you

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Speaker 1: know somebody who struggles with anxiety, this is also good

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Speaker 1: for you to It's so helpful to understand what's going

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Speaker 1: on with somebody who don't judge them. And if somebody

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Speaker 1: is doing the work to kind of manage or cope

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Speaker 1: or heal some of their their stuff around anxiety, it

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Speaker 1: most likely is going to get a little bit worse

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Speaker 1: before it's going to get a deaf better, I mean

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Speaker 1: with anything, right, but especially this because you have to

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Speaker 1: like sit through the crap before it's it's the coping

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Speaker 1: that we're going to talk about is a longer term

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Speaker 1: solution that will last longer, but takes longer to work

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Speaker 1: and also takes more effort to implement, like learning how

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Speaker 1: to manage and it's not even just managed. We were

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Speaker 1: talking a little bit before we got on here, like

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Speaker 1: I really feel like I lived the majority of my

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Speaker 1: life with an anxiety level of like an eight or nine, um,

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Speaker 1: and through a lot of my own healing work. I

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Speaker 1: mean it's like three or four. I told Katherine I'd

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Speaker 1: be like in the hospital with the panic attack if

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Speaker 1: I still have that level of anxiety mixed with this

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Speaker 1: season of life. Um. And so yeah, it's not like

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Speaker 1: it can get better if you're in it for the

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Speaker 1: long haul. Yeah yeah. And one. Okay, so we're gonna

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Speaker 1: go through this and talk about what it is and

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Speaker 1: all that. What we're not going to do today is

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Speaker 1: talk about all the different anxiety disorders. That would take

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Speaker 1: a very long time. And also what I don't want

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Speaker 1: this to be is like a way for you to

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Speaker 1: self diagnose, Like go talk to somebody and they're going

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Speaker 1: to help you through that more because sometimes you need

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Speaker 1: to talk about your symptoms for somebody else to kind

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Speaker 1: of like categorize them. Always not therapy, So go to therapy,

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Speaker 1: I go to therapy. Or yeah, so we're talking to

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Speaker 1: a professional round net so we're not gonna and also

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Speaker 1: don't google it like go again, go talk to somebody. Um. So, UM,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna talk about generally, but we're not going to

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Speaker 1: go through all of those specific things. Maybe one day

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Speaker 1: we'll do an episode on panic attacks or something like that,

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Speaker 1: but today we're just talking about anxiety as a whole.

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Speaker 1: So panic attacks so just an aside, I can't tell

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Speaker 1: you the number of people that come into my office

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Speaker 1: after they've had a panic attack because it's like I'm fine,

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Speaker 1: especially athletes. I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.

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Speaker 1: I went to the hospital because I thought I was

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Speaker 1: having a heart attack and they said I had I

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Speaker 1: have anxiety. I had a panic attack, but I thought

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Speaker 1: everything was fine. Um, and I think I'm always like, yeah, God,

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Speaker 1: you're here, and clearly you have a lot of a

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Speaker 1: lot of stuff going on in fine. Yeah that's not fine.

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Speaker 1: Um okay, so what is anxiety? I believe that what

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Speaker 1: I believe anxieties misunderstood slash not understood like I think

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Speaker 1: people will talk about it, but like it's kind of

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Speaker 1: put in this box with depression and anxiety, anxiety and depression,

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Speaker 1: and people can understand kind of depression, they know it's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you're sad and whatever, and they can kind of understand anxiety,

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Speaker 1: Oh they're they're nervous or whatever. But it's it really

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Speaker 1: is more than that, and so a more of a

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Speaker 1: blanket kind of like definition ish of anxiety. It's the

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Speaker 1: mind and body's reaction to stressful, dangerous, or unfamiliar situations.

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Speaker 1: So it's like a sense of uneasiness, distress, or dread

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Speaker 1: that you would feel for a significant event. Um, you

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Speaker 1: can have just like situational anxiety, and at the same time,

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Speaker 1: you it can be a certain level of suffering that

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Speaker 1: like lasts for I mean periods of time. Like you

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Speaker 1: can have this chronic type of anxiety, which is is

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Speaker 1: very different. And so that chronic anxiety where you always

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Speaker 1: feel this uneasiness, that's where it gets into this place

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Speaker 1: where it can be super unhelpful and debilitating and and

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Speaker 1: it gets in that space of Okay, you need some

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Speaker 1: long term help treatment whatever the shorter term you also,

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Speaker 1: I mean, we can also need help for that with

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Speaker 1: situational At the same time, there can be helpful anxiety

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Speaker 1: as much as there can be unhelpful. And I'll speak

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Speaker 1: for me of if I didn't have anxiety over when

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Speaker 1: I was in school, or even like a certain level

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Speaker 1: of anxiety over this podcast or work or anything, I

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Speaker 1: don't think I would the things I would be doing

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Speaker 1: would be as good because anxiety is a form of fear,

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Speaker 1: and fear helps us lean into the things that are

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Speaker 1: important to us and we care about. And if I

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Speaker 1: don't have anxiety over something, not to a debilitating level,

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Speaker 1: but if I don't have some level anxiety over some things,

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to put effort into them. Yeah, Like,

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Speaker 1: it's really helpful to have anxiety around things you care about,

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Speaker 1: And I think that's the biggest thing to begin, like

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Speaker 1: even distinguishing between yourself. Like sometimes even me with me,

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Speaker 1: I get into like, oh gosh, I can't believe in

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Speaker 1: feeling anxious, and I have to be like, man, hey,

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Speaker 1: it's normal that you have this, Like you have some

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Speaker 1: like anxiety, you're feeling all these things in your body

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Speaker 1: because you really care about this event. But then I

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Speaker 1: also think about like, um, when I was playing golf.

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Speaker 1: I mean I before every time before I played, I

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Speaker 1: mean the whole six hours I was playing, like shortness

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Speaker 1: of breath, so anxious, Like I felt like I was

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Speaker 1: always on the verge of tears, just unbelievable anxiety. And

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Speaker 1: it would be like I would try to tell myself,

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Speaker 1: like you're just hitting this little white ball around, but

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Speaker 1: it was so much bigger than that, because there was

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Speaker 1: so much going on in my life that I was

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Speaker 1: so afraid of and then trying to like fix it

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Speaker 1: through golf. And it's like, okay, that level, And like

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Speaker 1: when you get into like having to use substances to

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Speaker 1: manage your anxiety, that should be like a huge red

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Speaker 1: flag of like this is not working. But I love

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Speaker 1: how you're talking about, like some level of anxiety is

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Speaker 1: really helpful. Like if we didn't feel anxiety about crossing

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Speaker 1: the street, like we wouldn't look both ways and use

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Speaker 1: a cross wall right. And I think what you're saying

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Speaker 1: is important too, because for some people, Okay, so all

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Speaker 1: this example of me running um, like your example of

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Speaker 1: playing golf, when I would in my eating disorder, when

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Speaker 1: I an exerguis addiction, would run these races, I would

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Speaker 1: get so much anxiety about around them. But it wasn't

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Speaker 1: because I really, really really I mean, I love running,

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Speaker 1: But it wasn't because I love running it was important

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Speaker 1: to me. It was because I needed to get a

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Speaker 1: st in time or place in the race so I

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Speaker 1: would get this like admiration and affirmation to fix these

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Speaker 1: other things in my life. So that's where it's like, Okay, yeah,

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Speaker 1: the anxiety to an extent did help me run faster,

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Speaker 1: but I didn't need that because when it comes down

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Speaker 1: to it, I don't really care how fast I run. However,

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Speaker 1: when I'm in grad school and I have a big

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Speaker 1: case presentation coming up, I have anxiety about doing a

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Speaker 1: good job because I really wanted to learn and become

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Speaker 1: a good therapist. And so that wasn't about me like

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Speaker 1: fixing who I was. That was more about me becoming

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Speaker 1: who I truly want to be. And that was helpful

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Speaker 1: because if I didn't care about the case presentations, I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't have learned what I learned. And that's what you're saying.

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Speaker 1: It is like the anxiety around golf that wasn't making

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Speaker 1: you a better golfer because you wanted to be a

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Speaker 1: better golfer, was making me so much worse, and like

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Speaker 1: people are like, I don't understand. You know, everybody seems

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Speaker 1: to love golf, maybe not our listeners, but I don't

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Speaker 1: understand how you like, don't just love it, it's amazing whatever.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, Look, I was not playing golf, like play golf.

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Speaker 1: I was trying to shoot a score that told me

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Speaker 1: that I belonged, that I was lovable, that I mattered,

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Speaker 1: that I was worthy. And I'm like, have you ever

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Speaker 1: tried to swing a club? Like when you're trying to swing,

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Speaker 1: like to earn your worth, Like it's really hard, which

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Speaker 1: is sort of like what you're saying about running. And

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Speaker 1: then we have all that going on, which is where

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Speaker 1: the therapy comes in because no pill and I'm not

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Speaker 1: like for organs medicine. I'm just saying, no pill is

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Speaker 1: going to solve the fact that I didn't think I

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Speaker 1: was worthy or lovable. Yes, And as much as like

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Speaker 1: my anxiety around school was helpful at times, I think

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Speaker 1: a lot of you listening will probably relate to the

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Speaker 1: fact it can be really harmful too, because if we're

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Speaker 1: using school to gain that affirmation and belonging by getting

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Speaker 1: certain grades in order to feel loved, it's the same thing.

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Speaker 1: So I think you always have to ask yourself, like

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Speaker 1: why do I care about this? So it can be

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Speaker 1: helpful if that's in a space that UM is rooted in,

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Speaker 1: like truth and knowing your value. UM. So I know

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Speaker 1: a lot of people were asking, like, how is what's

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Speaker 1: between good anxiety and bad anxiety? And um, that's kind

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Speaker 1: of that in a nutshell. So like a good chucking

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Speaker 1: question is like is this anxiety or what I'm feeling

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Speaker 1: in my body like helping me to plan and prepare um.

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Speaker 1: And then if it is, it's like awesome, great, But

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Speaker 1: then if it's like way too far, then we've gone

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Speaker 1: into the like not helpful. Yeah, and ask yourself to

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Speaker 1: when when thinking about your own anxiety, Um, what is

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Speaker 1: it either taking from you or giving to you? So

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Speaker 1: anxiety can keep us from doing the things that we

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Speaker 1: actually want to do with our lives, like it can

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Speaker 1: prevent you from doing things that you actually enjoy. Also

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Speaker 1: can prevent you from doing very mundane things like crossing

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Speaker 1: the street, getting in an elevator, be in your house

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Speaker 1: like all of these, getting out of your bed. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And so I think a really good question to ask

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Speaker 1: is what is this is this helping me do something

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Speaker 1: or is this making it impossible for me to think

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Speaker 1: I can do something? And also I thought this was

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Speaker 1: interesting and I think I have feelings about this. Women

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Speaker 1: are more likely than men to be diagnosed with the

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Speaker 1: anxiety disorder. However, I don't think we have it more

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Speaker 1: than men. I just think men aren't talking about it.

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Speaker 1: I'm telling you, like, there are some men that I'm like,

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Speaker 1: that person has so much anxiety, but like word naming it,

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Speaker 1: and these are not people in my office, these are

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Speaker 1: just people in my life. But we call it with men,

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Speaker 1: we call it all these different things, um versus. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: women are so quick to go or be diagnosed as

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Speaker 1: anxiety and men it's like, oh, he's just this or that.

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Speaker 1: And a lot of times men's anger, men's anxiety can

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Speaker 1: come out as anger, which makes sense because rage age

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Speaker 1: it's like the impaired version of fear. And people are

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Speaker 1: always like, no wages anger, And I'm like, yeah, it

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Speaker 1: has some anger in it, but it really is more

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Speaker 1: fear base totally Okay. So I also had a lot

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Speaker 1: of questions, which we're going to answer this anyway, about

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Speaker 1: what is going on inside of our body when we

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Speaker 1: have anxiety, Like I want to know, like what is

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Speaker 1: firing up in there? And basically I think I said

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Speaker 1: this already, but this is your body's natural go to

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Speaker 1: response to stress. So what is actually going on inside

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Speaker 1: of you? So your threat defense system kind of gets activated,

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Speaker 1: which is that fight flight freeze situation, um. And so

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Speaker 1: what's happening inside of your body, whether it's at one

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Speaker 1: time super super concentrated or it's more like stable throughout,

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Speaker 1: is that a flood of chemicals and hormones, adrenaline, cortisol,

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Speaker 1: all those stress hormones are coming into your system. Now,

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Speaker 1: your threat defense system, like that fight flatter freeze is

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Speaker 1: actually created to help you. But this becomes a problem

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Speaker 1: because if it prolongs, or if it's getting activated when

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Speaker 1: like there's actually not a threat, then it kind of

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Speaker 1: like screws up that whole like wiring for you because

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Speaker 1: most of the time that's helping you prepare to respond

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Speaker 1: to a situation that is dangerous, but generally getting into

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Speaker 1: an elevator isn't dangerous, and so it's kind of triggering

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Speaker 1: those like it's matching up and marrying like fearful things

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Speaker 1: that aren't actually scary. Um, which yeah, I think. I

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Speaker 1: had a therapist one time tell me that I was

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Speaker 1: addicted to my anxiety, and I was like, I wanted

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Speaker 1: to rage. I heard, what do you mean? This is

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Speaker 1: not fun to be addicted to? But I think she's

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Speaker 1: really onto something because I don't. It wasn't a choice.

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Speaker 1: I was not like choosing to be addicted to my anxiety.

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Speaker 1: But also because so much because of all the stuff

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Speaker 1: you're talking about, like your heart rates going up, you're

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Speaker 1: super on alert, all these things. It's anxiety is very stimulating. Um.

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Speaker 1: I know there's been times in my life where I've

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Speaker 1: not had so much anxiety, and I'm like, I'm a

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Speaker 1: little bored. Well, think about like adrenaline. Adrenaline is like that.

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Speaker 1: I mean you went scardving, you like that kind of stuff.

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Speaker 1: When you have anxiety, your body is kind of creating

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Speaker 1: and putting out more adrenaline. I'm the same way. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I'm bored. It's really like no, I'm just not anxious. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And that is the cool thing about our bodies and

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Speaker 1: just like how we are wired. Like even though it

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Speaker 1: doesn't feel good to be addicted to anxiety or have

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Speaker 1: a lot of anxiety, in some ways it is your body,

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Speaker 1: helping you stay alert, stimulated, all these things. It's just

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Speaker 1: like you have a light, like light, a light is great,

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Speaker 1: but like if you're trying to go to sleep, you

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Speaker 1: want to be able to turn the light off, and

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Speaker 1: so similarly, it's like anxiety can be helpful in some situations,

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Speaker 1: but if you can't ever turn the switch off, not

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Speaker 1: that it's that simple, then it's really debilitating. Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: also we're going to talk abou what it actually feels like.

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Speaker 1: But the important thing to remember is that it can

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Speaker 1: feel very different depending on who you are. So it's

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Speaker 1: not a one size fits all. My anxiety looks different

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Speaker 1: than Megan's, like the person next. It's alway it can

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Speaker 1: look different. I mean there's general things that happen, but

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Speaker 1: I don't want you to think, well, my anxiety doesn't

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Speaker 1: look like they're so I probably don't have it where

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Speaker 1: it's not as bad or it gets to look very different,

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Speaker 1: because anxiety can feel like butterflies in your stomach, and

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Speaker 1: then it can feel like you're going to throw up.

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Speaker 1: It can be nauseous. Or it doesn't mean that one

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Speaker 1: is worse than another, or one deserves attention and one doesn't,

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Speaker 1: and similarly like to how people present on the outside.

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Speaker 1: Like sometimes people will look at people inside or even me, like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you don't look anxious, because we have this idea that

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Speaker 1: I guess an anxious person is like jittery and flighty

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Speaker 1: and all this stuff. But freeze though, Yeah, because I

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Speaker 1: like fight flight or freeze, I'm I will go towards

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Speaker 1: the freeze thing, which means it's like it's all trapped inside.

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Speaker 1: And so even other symptoms. Just because somebody doesn't look anxious,

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Speaker 1: I mean we talk with all its time. Just because

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Speaker 1: somebody doesn't look like they haven't eating disorder, look like

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Speaker 1: this or that doesn't mean they aren't suffering, because sometimes

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Speaker 1: anxiety can really look like not being able to sleep

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Speaker 1: or not being able to concentrate. It's so hard to

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Speaker 1: concentrate when you have anxiety because you're always thinking about

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Speaker 1: everything except what you're actually doing. When somebody can have

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Speaker 1: because in anxiety and other these were talking about general symptoms,

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Speaker 1: but an increased heart rate, you can sit here and

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Speaker 1: have I can beat my heart could be pounding, you

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Speaker 1: can't see it like, and some people will react to

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Speaker 1: that being like my heart is bracing, and some people

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Speaker 1: will be like how do I get this to stop

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Speaker 1: inside of their head? So those are just some general

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Speaker 1: overarching symptoms like heart rate, breathe, a rapid breathing, restlessness,

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Speaker 1: trouble concentrating, the difficulty falling asleep. And then now we're

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Speaker 1: going to look at those the effects that actually happened

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Speaker 1: to the body, which I think a lot of you

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Speaker 1: were wondering. So let's go. We'll go system by system. Um,

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Speaker 1: I think we think this is all all just in

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Speaker 1: our head and it's just affecting the way we think.

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Speaker 1: But anxiety actually affects the whole body. And and that's again,

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Speaker 1: mental health affects your whole body. And I think a

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Speaker 1: lot of times that gets mis misconstrued or they're just sadder,

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Speaker 1: they're just this, or I'm like no, but it actually

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Speaker 1: affects every single part of your body. And like a

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Speaker 1: healthy mind and like thinking process and thought process has

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Speaker 1: so much impact in the way that the rest of

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Speaker 1: your body functions. And so when we go to a

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Speaker 1: doctor and we present with certain um symptoms in our body,

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Speaker 1: a lot of times they will good doctors, which my doctor,

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Speaker 1: who were tired, I'm so sad, will refer you to

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Speaker 1: a therapist before they give you medication, not because they

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Speaker 1: don't want to help you, but because let's say you're

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Speaker 1: what is the word what's the word for? Yes, like

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00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:57,640
Speaker 1: your stomach, paint or like all of that could be associated. Yeah,

399
00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:00,359
Speaker 1: maybe there's something not going on through something, but also

400
00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:02,480
Speaker 1: like what's going on in in your life right now? I

401
00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:04,600
Speaker 1: remember I went to the doctor. I think I was

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00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:07,560
Speaker 1: in grad school, and I was just I had presented

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00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:11,520
Speaker 1: with more symptoms of I think at that time, like depression,

404
00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:14,280
Speaker 1: but I didn't know that, like I also had anxiety.

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Speaker 1: And she gave me a therapist card and she said,

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Speaker 1: go see this head therapies I know. And I was like,

407
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:22,280
Speaker 1: at that point, I really just wanted to get over

408
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Speaker 1: with and I didn't really understand all this stuff. But

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Speaker 1: I was like, and you're giving me one for they yes,

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Speaker 1: I was like, you were making me do more work.

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Speaker 1: It ended up being great, and so I went to

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Speaker 1: this therapist and it really, I mean, my all of

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Speaker 1: that stuff shifted after I did some work, and like

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Speaker 1: I never had to go on medication. Now did it

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00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:44,520
Speaker 1: shift in like one or two sessions? Cat totally? Yeah, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's how if you don't get better, And like the

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00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:52,200
Speaker 1: first session you probably should see a different therapist. Definitely, No,

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Speaker 1: it was and actually, like I think I saw her

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Speaker 1: for maybe six months and then I had to see

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Speaker 1: somebody else and things slowly started. But I think to shift.

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Speaker 1: But I think that I felt very empowered in the

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Speaker 1: sense that, oh, there's actually not something wrong with the

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Speaker 1: way my body is working. So anyway, so let's go

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Speaker 1: system by systems. So central nervous system. Long term anxiety

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Speaker 1: and panic attacks can cause your brain again to release

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00:23:20,119 --> 00:23:23,720
Speaker 1: the stress hormones on a regular basis. So think about

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Speaker 1: how your body was created to be and created to work, well,

428
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:30,919
Speaker 1: it's going to release the stress hormones when they're needed.

429
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:35,200
Speaker 1: When you have long term anxiety, then your body gets

430
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:40,080
Speaker 1: used to always releasing them and so then that kind

431
00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:42,960
Speaker 1: of messes up the system and this will, I mean,

432
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:46,680
Speaker 1: this can create tons of symptoms, some of them being headaches, dizziness,

433
00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:49,600
Speaker 1: and depression because you're getting these hormones when you actually

434
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:52,040
Speaker 1: don't need them, and it's kind of it's getting in

435
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:54,640
Speaker 1: the way of what your body actually needs to be

436
00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:57,800
Speaker 1: putting out or taking in. It just messes up the

437
00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:00,280
Speaker 1: system and how it's supposed to work. Any thoughts, it

438
00:24:00,359 --> 00:24:03,760
Speaker 1: sounds like you covered it there. Yeah, and then like

439
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:08,280
Speaker 1: we have cardiovascular system, so this is probably the one

440
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:11,160
Speaker 1: that's most common, like people having an increased heart rate,

441
00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:15,760
Speaker 1: heart palpitations, chest pain. Um. I know, even like with

442
00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:19,399
Speaker 1: panic attacks, people almost always talk about chest pain. I

443
00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:23,160
Speaker 1: feel like I'm having a heart attack. Um, So that's

444
00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:26,080
Speaker 1: going on there. And you know, I'll ask clients a lot.

445
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:28,720
Speaker 1: I'll watch like their chest to see how they're breathing,

446
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:30,959
Speaker 1: but also you can tell a lot about heart rate

447
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:33,200
Speaker 1: and I'm like, are you breathing right now? And they're

448
00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:37,560
Speaker 1: like so anxious even there. It's like being aware that

449
00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:40,360
Speaker 1: that's happening and coming back to noticing like how are

450
00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:44,280
Speaker 1: you breathing, like slowing down, um, that sort of thing.

451
00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:48,879
Speaker 1: And honestly, I've had and you've said this already, so

452
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:51,040
Speaker 1: many clients being like I went to the hospital thinking

453
00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:55,000
Speaker 1: as of having a heart attack, and that you can

454
00:24:55,320 --> 00:25:02,440
Speaker 1: long term, untreated anxiety can actually cause heart issues and anxiety. Yeah.

455
00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:05,520
Speaker 1: We can laugh about it and like make some jokes

456
00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:08,200
Speaker 1: about how like we all have anxiety blah blah blah,

457
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,679
Speaker 1: but if you really do have anxiety, like if you

458
00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:14,040
Speaker 1: don't take care of it, it can actually create issues

459
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:17,480
Speaker 1: that you wouldn't have otherwise. Yeah, And we're not trying

460
00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:21,680
Speaker 1: to give you anxiety about your anxiety, are we just

461
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:25,520
Speaker 1: just encouraging Like this is I mean I always picture

462
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:29,520
Speaker 1: like a almost like a wire that's burned or something

463
00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:33,000
Speaker 1: like that. With anxiety, it's like you've you get to this,

464
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:36,680
Speaker 1: You're like running your system on overdrive like for so much,

465
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:39,080
Speaker 1: um that it just like it is eventually going to

466
00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:43,200
Speaker 1: burn out at some rate. Yeah, um, and then we'll

467
00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:46,040
Speaker 1: go to So this is I feel like one of

468
00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:52,000
Speaker 1: the the biggest digestives digestive system say that you say

469
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:57,760
Speaker 1: that digestive digestive system. It's a lot of like anyway, um,

470
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:03,760
Speaker 1: so like stomach aches, nausea, diarrhea, all those digestive issues.

471
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:06,240
Speaker 1: I mean, this is kind of might feel like uncomfortable

472
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:09,720
Speaker 1: for you to hear, but your anxiety can make you

473
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:15,520
Speaker 1: go the bathroom more. And I definitely believe this. And

474
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:20,040
Speaker 1: it is also said in research that IBS is a

475
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:23,880
Speaker 1: lot of times caused by anxiety. And IBS is a

476
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:28,760
Speaker 1: very debilitating disorder. What would you call it, Yeah, I

477
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:31,560
Speaker 1: mean it's the ability to live with Yeah, and in

478
00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:35,160
Speaker 1: the same realm autoimmune disorders, I think I have somebody

479
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:37,199
Speaker 1: close to me that has I'm sure we all do.

480
00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:39,879
Speaker 1: We'll have people closest have autoimmune and it's like the

481
00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:42,919
Speaker 1: doctors tell them like, oh, it's because, like you know,

482
00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:46,800
Speaker 1: stress makes it worse. And even in that, I'm like, gosh,

483
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:48,680
Speaker 1: I wish they could just say a little bit more

484
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:53,520
Speaker 1: because sure, like yes, everyday stress of like work in

485
00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:57,159
Speaker 1: life and whatever, it does make it worse. But the

486
00:26:57,200 --> 00:27:00,480
Speaker 1: part they're really missing is it's really probably more national

487
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:04,679
Speaker 1: difficulties and I mean relational with other people in relationship

488
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:08,240
Speaker 1: with yourself. That's actually what they're trying to say when

489
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:10,280
Speaker 1: they say stress versus like I have a lot of

490
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:13,720
Speaker 1: tasks to do. And that's really where the therapy comes in.

491
00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:16,800
Speaker 1: Is like I've seen people with you know, different things,

492
00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:19,600
Speaker 1: try to like fix their schedule and do this and

493
00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:21,800
Speaker 1: do that, which is great, but then a lot of

494
00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:23,920
Speaker 1: the stress they're carrying in their body has a lot

495
00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:26,800
Speaker 1: more to do with relationship, right, Because I mean We've

496
00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:29,239
Speaker 1: said this so many times, but your feelings don't go

497
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:32,280
Speaker 1: away if you hide them. They just get put in

498
00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:34,760
Speaker 1: the wrong places. And this is a perfect example of

499
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:38,240
Speaker 1: your feelings just get shoved in the wrong places. So yeah,

500
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:40,840
Speaker 1: maybe nobody knows that you're at war with yourself and

501
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:44,320
Speaker 1: your identity, but okay, your body, your body knows, and

502
00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:46,960
Speaker 1: now you have ibs or now you have hives, or

503
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:49,160
Speaker 1: now you have this, or now you have that, and

504
00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:53,200
Speaker 1: that's actually what is going on. Think about the war

505
00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:56,720
Speaker 1: with yourself as energy and if you're trying to hide that,

506
00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:59,760
Speaker 1: that energy is spiraling somewhere, and those are those hormones.

507
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:02,760
Speaker 1: Those hormones are spiraling somewhere in places that they're not

508
00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:06,400
Speaker 1: supposed to be. I love, love love that you say that,

509
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:08,800
Speaker 1: because yeah, I wish, I guess I wish if I

510
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:11,399
Speaker 1: have any doctors out there that work with autoimmune instead

511
00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:14,119
Speaker 1: of telling people that it's stressed, maybe like talk about

512
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:16,880
Speaker 1: more of like yeah, the war with yourself or like hey,

513
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:19,639
Speaker 1: you don't have any boundaries and that actually very stressful

514
00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:22,600
Speaker 1: and creates a war and causes you to be sick.

515
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:26,600
Speaker 1: Like our bodies are so smart that they don't let

516
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:30,560
Speaker 1: us just get away with this stuff. Yeah, yes, so

517
00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:33,080
Speaker 1: I do want to say this just around like your

518
00:28:33,119 --> 00:28:35,480
Speaker 1: actual immune system, because I think this one was more

519
00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:39,080
Speaker 1: surprising when I was learning about it, that anxiety actually

520
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:42,200
Speaker 1: weakens our ability to I mean in all of these areas,

521
00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:45,280
Speaker 1: but like generally weakens our ability to take care of ourselves,

522
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:48,200
Speaker 1: which I mean in the what we're in now, it's

523
00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:52,000
Speaker 1: all the immune compromised um individuals out there, Like this

524
00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:54,600
Speaker 1: is making it worse, like with coronavirus. But now I

525
00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:56,880
Speaker 1: feel like I'm like kind of beating a dead horse,

526
00:28:56,920 --> 00:29:01,760
Speaker 1: but saying beating a fed horse cat Peter, Oh my god,

527
00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:10,960
Speaker 1: I just take an example. I'm sorry, I just jumped

528
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:15,600
Speaker 1: on you. Never Yeah, So there is a list if

529
00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:18,240
Speaker 1: you want to laugh like so much, I will send

530
00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:21,200
Speaker 1: it to you. Of like Peter has rearranged things, so

531
00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:25,320
Speaker 1: instead of killing two birds with one stone, it's feeding

532
00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:29,880
Speaker 1: two birds with one stone. But also like that is

533
00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:32,960
Speaker 1: very kind of like the feeding of fed horse, but

534
00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:36,240
Speaker 1: that's not that also reframes it is that it's not

535
00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:39,920
Speaker 1: a bad thing unless her doesn't need to be anyway.

536
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 1: Horse in normal functioning, when your body goes into this

537
00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:50,120
Speaker 1: threat response, it is very helpful and it helps your

538
00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:55,560
Speaker 1: body respond appropriately. Now normally when that happened, you're even

539
00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:57,480
Speaker 1: your immune system can get a little bit of a

540
00:29:57,520 --> 00:30:01,480
Speaker 1: boost as your ex what's the X, I want to say,

541
00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:05,720
Speaker 1: exporting expertiting. I don't know when you're giving off more

542
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:10,200
Speaker 1: more of these hormones. So that's like with normal stress

543
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:14,000
Speaker 1: and anxiety. Now normal stress and anxiety, after that event

544
00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:17,240
Speaker 1: or whatever is over, you go back to normal functioning.

545
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:22,960
Speaker 1: When you have repeated or chronic anxiety, your body never

546
00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:26,680
Speaker 1: gets that signal to go back to normal. This is

547
00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:29,560
Speaker 1: actually going to weaken your immune system, which is going

548
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:34,520
Speaker 1: to because your immune system is on overdrive, so it

549
00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:37,680
Speaker 1: doesn't have time to relax or rebuild or do anything.

550
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:40,880
Speaker 1: And so you're actually going to become more vulnerable to

551
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:45,120
Speaker 1: I mean, coronavirus or just in general like being sick

552
00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:50,320
Speaker 1: or illnesses and so um oh, and like vaccines, getting

553
00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:55,240
Speaker 1: vaccines won't work so as well, what as well vaccines

554
00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:57,600
Speaker 1: as well? Yeah, sorry again I'm not trying to give

555
00:30:57,600 --> 00:30:59,920
Speaker 1: you anxiety over your anxiety, but I think that if

556
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:03,080
Speaker 1: also to look at, like if I'm somebody who is

557
00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:08,240
Speaker 1: actually gets sick very easily and often, I would want

558
00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:10,960
Speaker 1: you to look at like, do I live in a

559
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:14,560
Speaker 1: state of like maybe this like baseline fear that I

560
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:17,920
Speaker 1: think is manageable. You might not know that that's not normal.

561
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:20,960
Speaker 1: I think that's maybe an experience that I had. I

562
00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:24,080
Speaker 1: didn't know this like fear or this level of worry

563
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:28,800
Speaker 1: or stress wasn't normal. And until I realized that, like, oh,

564
00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:31,680
Speaker 1: this is causing issues in my life and we don't

565
00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:35,120
Speaker 1: we don't look at I don't think the general population

566
00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:37,800
Speaker 1: looks at some of these issues we just talked about

567
00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:42,920
Speaker 1: with heart problems, um, the digestive issues and like immune

568
00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:47,160
Speaker 1: system as symptoms of an anxiety disorder. Yeah, And I

569
00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:49,600
Speaker 1: hear people all the time say like kind of what

570
00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:51,640
Speaker 1: you're saying, Like, I didn't know I had anxiety, And

571
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:54,160
Speaker 1: actually when I found out that I did, that there

572
00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:57,560
Speaker 1: was a name for everything I was experiencing, it brought

573
00:31:57,560 --> 00:32:00,440
Speaker 1: a lot of relief because then it's like, this is

574
00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:04,840
Speaker 1: what's going on, and actually there is there are solutions

575
00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:07,040
Speaker 1: and things you can do to make it better. Yeah,

576
00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:09,920
Speaker 1: And then do you want to talk about the last one? Yeah?

577
00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:12,400
Speaker 1: And I mean I love I think my favorite part

578
00:32:12,400 --> 00:32:15,280
Speaker 1: about talking about anxiety is not just the symptom like

579
00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:19,680
Speaker 1: when we talk about respiratory system, but they're like symptoms

580
00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:25,240
Speaker 1: being shortness of breath, um, rapid breathing, shallow breathing. You know,

581
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:28,280
Speaker 1: it can cause a lot of problems even there, and

582
00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:32,560
Speaker 1: I think that's my favorite place to talk about the breathing,

583
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:35,400
Speaker 1: because that is where I found the most healing. M

584
00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:39,120
Speaker 1: I remember when I was playing golf, everybody says breathe like,

585
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:41,760
Speaker 1: because you do have this short, shallow breath. I mean

586
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:43,720
Speaker 1: you can see it and you probably look for it

587
00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:45,880
Speaker 1: to when I'm when you're with a client, because I'm

588
00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:49,280
Speaker 1: watching how they're breathing. Um. But when I was playing golf,

589
00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:54,200
Speaker 1: I would always breathe like. And actually that puts your

590
00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:56,680
Speaker 1: body into like more of a fight or flight response

591
00:32:56,920 --> 00:33:00,800
Speaker 1: because you're forcing so much air into your lungs UM.

592
00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:03,400
Speaker 1: And I'm like, gosh, if somebody I feel anxious now

593
00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:06,720
Speaker 1: after just doing that, if somebody would have told me sooner,

594
00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:10,160
Speaker 1: like taught me box breathing, which we'll get into, but

595
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:14,120
Speaker 1: essentially it is like counting three breath three seconds in,

596
00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:16,960
Speaker 1: holding for three seconds three seconds out, or whatever you

597
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:20,360
Speaker 1: want to do in terms of the time. It would

598
00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:25,680
Speaker 1: have spared me so much like um struggle and stress

599
00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:30,200
Speaker 1: and pain. And I mean I think that generally, my

600
00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:36,240
Speaker 1: perception is that people can attach that like, yeah, you're

601
00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:39,080
Speaker 1: breathing has to do with anxiety. But what you're saying

602
00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:41,400
Speaker 1: is like when people like breathe, breath, breath, that's not

603
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:45,080
Speaker 1: that helpful. Yeah, breathe in a in a certain type

604
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:49,920
Speaker 1: of way. Yeah. Um so there's kind of like going

605
00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:52,360
Speaker 1: through the body. Now we get to talk about the

606
00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:56,040
Speaker 1: fun part, which is hopefully if you're listening to this.

607
00:33:56,120 --> 00:33:57,760
Speaker 1: I know a lot of people ask for, like I

608
00:33:57,800 --> 00:34:02,640
Speaker 1: need coping strategies. Again, I want to reiterate that these

609
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:07,400
Speaker 1: strategies are strategies that work the best. These are the

610
00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:11,200
Speaker 1: the best tools to help manage and cope and hey,

611
00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:14,680
Speaker 1: and may not make your anxiety disappear, but it will

612
00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:19,040
Speaker 1: help you cope with it. They are not going to

613
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:22,359
Speaker 1: work a lot of times the first time perfectly, definitely not,

614
00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:26,400
Speaker 1: and they aren't going to be quick fixes. But again

615
00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:33,680
Speaker 1: these are long term solutions. Um So. One always awareness,

616
00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:36,880
Speaker 1: So like recognizing that you have anxiety and that the

617
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:40,480
Speaker 1: feelings you're having aren't normal and you shouldn't have to

618
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:43,879
Speaker 1: live with I think that's the first thing, So identifying

619
00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:47,160
Speaker 1: that you have it, and then also maybe looking at

620
00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:50,560
Speaker 1: which is very helpful, looking at when do you feel

621
00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:53,520
Speaker 1: like it starts? When do you feel like what do

622
00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:56,279
Speaker 1: you think it comes up around? Like what are your triggers?

623
00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:59,759
Speaker 1: So that can be that's different for everybody. So I'm

624
00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:03,279
Speaker 1: not to list a bunch of triggers, but um, I

625
00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:06,879
Speaker 1: take some time to notice, like and sometimes it's hard

626
00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:10,239
Speaker 1: because we don't really I want to bring attention to

627
00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:12,080
Speaker 1: the anxiety, but we don't want to bring so much

628
00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:14,480
Speaker 1: attention that it just continues to grow and grow and grow.

629
00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:17,200
Speaker 1: But what can you do? A check in with yourself

630
00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:19,600
Speaker 1: when you wake up, like where are you at one

631
00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:22,400
Speaker 1: to attend? What's it like? Then when you're at work,

632
00:35:22,719 --> 00:35:25,520
Speaker 1: what's it like? Afterwards? You know, like start doing these

633
00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:28,799
Speaker 1: check ins of like what's happening for me? And maybe

634
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:30,680
Speaker 1: even for a week, write it down so you can

635
00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:34,200
Speaker 1: see if there's a pattern. Yes, this is also something

636
00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:37,440
Speaker 1: I would recommend doing with a therapist because they, I

637
00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:40,160
Speaker 1: will say, like, therapists can really help you see things

638
00:35:40,160 --> 00:35:43,040
Speaker 1: that you wouldn't see yourself, even if you were working

639
00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:45,839
Speaker 1: through some anxiety workbook on your own, doing some self help.

640
00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:48,759
Speaker 1: It is we just ask questions that normally wouldn't be

641
00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:51,520
Speaker 1: asked and sit with you and allow you to struggle

642
00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:54,200
Speaker 1: and think through it. And so if you have found

643
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:55,640
Speaker 1: that you have anxiety and you're like, I don't know

644
00:35:55,640 --> 00:35:57,479
Speaker 1: what my triggers are or I want to learn about

645
00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:01,319
Speaker 1: when this comes up, talk to something and just the

646
00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:03,919
Speaker 1: if we even go back to attachment, which we've talked

647
00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:06,839
Speaker 1: about in so many other episodes, the therapists like, there

648
00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:09,680
Speaker 1: are so many studies and different things that if you're

649
00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:12,400
Speaker 1: sitting within you know, I don't know how many feet,

650
00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:15,360
Speaker 1: but in the same room as somebody who's who isn't

651
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:19,640
Speaker 1: having anxiety, who's grounded and regulated like you, your system

652
00:36:19,680 --> 00:36:23,040
Speaker 1: can actually adapt to theirs. And so it's not just

653
00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:26,080
Speaker 1: like I mean anxiety workbooks and books and podcasts and

654
00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:29,319
Speaker 1: all this stuff is so helpful and like nothing can

655
00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:31,719
Speaker 1: quite match like what it's like to actually go and

656
00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:34,480
Speaker 1: sit with somebody who can be with you, be present

657
00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:37,560
Speaker 1: with you, help you regulate, help you breathe, help you

658
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:41,680
Speaker 1: do all these things. So I would like, I want

659
00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:44,200
Speaker 1: you to go through. Can you explain the square breathing

660
00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:46,680
Speaker 1: because that is something that in my world was like,

661
00:36:46,760 --> 00:36:49,960
Speaker 1: oh man, yeah, I still have anxiety from the deep

662
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:52,920
Speaker 1: breath that I just took. You need to do some

663
00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:58,040
Speaker 1: square breathing. Probably, um, because yeah, so much people and

664
00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:01,359
Speaker 1: good like good spirits and trying to be helpful say like, oh,

665
00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:03,160
Speaker 1: you just need to breathe, You just need to breathe,

666
00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:06,319
Speaker 1: and it's like, yes, you do need to breathe, but

667
00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:08,920
Speaker 1: like in certain ways I always think about you know,

668
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:10,600
Speaker 1: I feel like on movies and stuff, you see the

669
00:37:10,600 --> 00:37:13,359
Speaker 1: person breathing into the paper bag, and I'm like, oh,

670
00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:15,680
Speaker 1: I don't think that's so much about the bag as

671
00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:17,680
Speaker 1: it is that it keeps people from taking like a

672
00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:22,480
Speaker 1: huge breath um, and so square breathing. There's all different

673
00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:24,279
Speaker 1: types of ways to do it. I think one of

674
00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:27,600
Speaker 1: the most popular is like five seven five, So you're

675
00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:31,560
Speaker 1: breathing in counting to five, holding for like seven, and

676
00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:37,480
Speaker 1: then breathing out counting five. Don't that feels like so

677
00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:40,080
Speaker 1: many numbers, so it's also like holding my breath for

678
00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:43,080
Speaker 1: too long. Yeah, So I I personally just do like

679
00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:46,080
Speaker 1: three three, three because it's easy and I was taught

680
00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:49,040
Speaker 1: four four four, okay, So yeah, you can find and

681
00:37:49,120 --> 00:37:52,799
Speaker 1: that's great. Like also knowing your own body like this

682
00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:56,360
Speaker 1: is not like here's the prescription of like four or

683
00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:59,400
Speaker 1: four three three three or five five five, you know whatever,

684
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:02,359
Speaker 1: or five of them five, um, so you can play

685
00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:04,160
Speaker 1: around with it. I think the biggest thing is that

686
00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:09,440
Speaker 1: you're like counting breathing in slowly um and then holding

687
00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:14,640
Speaker 1: and then breathing out in a way that like feels repetitive. Um.

688
00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:16,960
Speaker 1: That's why I'm telling people, like when we're working on

689
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:19,880
Speaker 1: healing anxiety, it's you would not do anything that you

690
00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:22,720
Speaker 1: wouldn't do with a baby, like to self sue the baby.

691
00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:27,960
Speaker 1: So we want predictable, consistent patterns, kind patterns whenever we're

692
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:31,120
Speaker 1: doing anything. So even in your breathing, it's like three

693
00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:34,480
Speaker 1: or four breasts in as you count, hold three or

694
00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:38,120
Speaker 1: four breasts out as you count, like being kind like

695
00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:39,799
Speaker 1: thinking about what it would be like if you were

696
00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:43,000
Speaker 1: doing that with the child. Yeah, And I think that

697
00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:45,680
Speaker 1: one of the most eye opening experiences I had about

698
00:38:45,719 --> 00:38:49,200
Speaker 1: how much your breath um affects the rest of that

699
00:38:49,239 --> 00:38:51,960
Speaker 1: your the function of your body is when I was

700
00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:55,799
Speaker 1: training as an adventure therapist. UM, when I worked at

701
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:58,040
Speaker 1: a treatment center, I we had to do this thing

702
00:38:58,040 --> 00:39:00,160
Speaker 1: called the Leap of Faith, which a lot if you

703
00:39:00,200 --> 00:39:04,239
Speaker 1: have seen it or no. Also it's called the quantum leave. Basically,

704
00:39:04,520 --> 00:39:06,719
Speaker 1: when you you climb up you get harnessed him, but

705
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:09,440
Speaker 1: you climb up this really tall telephone pole and then

706
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:13,240
Speaker 1: at the top there's like a one square foot block

707
00:39:13,320 --> 00:39:15,799
Speaker 1: that you have to stand up on and then you

708
00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:19,480
Speaker 1: you jump off and it's very high. Well, the telephone

709
00:39:19,480 --> 00:39:21,799
Speaker 1: pole will will kind of move a little bit as

710
00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:24,439
Speaker 1: you're climbing. It's like not as steady as you would

711
00:39:24,440 --> 00:39:27,279
Speaker 1: want it to be, and so the pole shakes, and

712
00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:30,239
Speaker 1: like you also are shaking because of the anxiety. Your

713
00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:32,960
Speaker 1: whole body is shaking. And you'll notice like that people

714
00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:36,360
Speaker 1: stop breathing or they are breathing really really like fast,

715
00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:41,000
Speaker 1: and what happened and what As a therapist, one of

716
00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:42,799
Speaker 1: the main things I did to get them up to

717
00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:45,879
Speaker 1: the top is just to like sit with them and

718
00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:50,399
Speaker 1: talk very kindly and slow and calm and remind them

719
00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:52,640
Speaker 1: to breathe, so like breathe, and then I would like

720
00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:57,040
Speaker 1: breathe with them. And it was insane. So the poll

721
00:39:57,080 --> 00:39:58,719
Speaker 1: could be like I wish you guys could see a video,

722
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:00,640
Speaker 1: but the pole could be like shaking back and forth,

723
00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:03,560
Speaker 1: like crazy like shaking. It would look like there's like

724
00:40:03,680 --> 00:40:06,120
Speaker 1: rapid like wind. And as soon as they would come

725
00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:07,799
Speaker 1: to a place where they would kind of like have

726
00:40:07,920 --> 00:40:12,560
Speaker 1: this steady breath, the pole would just stop and their bodies.

727
00:40:12,719 --> 00:40:15,479
Speaker 1: Think about when you get nervous, my hands will start

728
00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:18,640
Speaker 1: to shake, well, their legs and their arms and everything

729
00:40:18,640 --> 00:40:20,680
Speaker 1: would start to shake, and when they would bring that

730
00:40:20,719 --> 00:40:25,239
Speaker 1: breath in, like everything got still. And that is just

731
00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:28,440
Speaker 1: like such a perfect picture of how much your breath

732
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:31,480
Speaker 1: is controlling how all of these other functions in your

733
00:40:31,480 --> 00:40:35,759
Speaker 1: body are working. And I mean it was insane. We

734
00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:39,560
Speaker 1: should do like you need therapy group leap of faith. Yeah,

735
00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:41,920
Speaker 1: that would be so fun. And I love when you're

736
00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:44,839
Speaker 1: mentioning that story you're talking about you were with them,

737
00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:48,120
Speaker 1: you were helping them breathe, Like if you cannot do

738
00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:51,600
Speaker 1: this stuff on your own, like no ship, you know,

739
00:40:51,719 --> 00:40:53,800
Speaker 1: because if you could do it on your own, you would.

740
00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:56,799
Speaker 1: And so I also just want to, like as a

741
00:40:56,800 --> 00:40:59,120
Speaker 1: message of kindness, say like we're telling you all these

742
00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:02,000
Speaker 1: things that you can do, and in some ways, like

743
00:41:02,120 --> 00:41:04,440
Speaker 1: I believe in you and believe that you can implement

744
00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:07,200
Speaker 1: some of these into your life. But again it comes

745
00:41:07,239 --> 00:41:10,719
Speaker 1: back to like we need therapy, but we also need

746
00:41:11,040 --> 00:41:13,719
Speaker 1: relationship and people that are kind that can help us

747
00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:17,480
Speaker 1: start to do this again, like we wouldn't hopefully we

748
00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:20,440
Speaker 1: wouldn't yell and punish a child who doesn't know how

749
00:41:20,480 --> 00:41:24,640
Speaker 1: to sell soothe. We would ideally teach them in a

750
00:41:24,719 --> 00:41:27,960
Speaker 1: kind way. So like I just like how your your

751
00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:30,840
Speaker 1: voice got softer, cat like you were slower, Like I

752
00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:33,799
Speaker 1: could just feel the empathy and compassion like in your

753
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:37,040
Speaker 1: voice as you're talking to this other person, which is

754
00:41:37,040 --> 00:41:39,480
Speaker 1: like the point of therapy that you could get that

755
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:42,160
Speaker 1: from a therapist and then you could learn to internalize

756
00:41:42,239 --> 00:41:44,319
Speaker 1: that voice for yourself, so then you can talk to

757
00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:48,680
Speaker 1: yourself like that. Yeah, and so that's one. That's one coping.

758
00:41:49,719 --> 00:41:51,960
Speaker 1: I do want to say that we're gonna say talk

759
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:55,480
Speaker 1: about like a couple. Don't just pick one, like you're

760
00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:58,520
Speaker 1: going to need multiple. So breathing is one thing, but

761
00:41:58,640 --> 00:42:00,720
Speaker 1: I don't want you to stop at breathing. There's other things,

762
00:42:00,760 --> 00:42:04,120
Speaker 1: and most of these things involve other humans, which I'm

763
00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:06,919
Speaker 1: glad you did say that. Do you want to keep

764
00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:10,440
Speaker 1: going through these? Yeah? I think even like the next

765
00:42:10,480 --> 00:42:15,080
Speaker 1: one that I'll go to is yoga. Um, And part

766
00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:17,480
Speaker 1: of it is like again, I had to learn in

767
00:42:17,520 --> 00:42:19,759
Speaker 1: my own journey when I would be really anxious, the

768
00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:21,719
Speaker 1: first thing I would do is go, like try to

769
00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:23,840
Speaker 1: go running or go to cross fit or do something

770
00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:26,520
Speaker 1: like that. There's nothing wrong with any of those things

771
00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:30,719
Speaker 1: except for the fact that they like increase the adrenaline

772
00:42:30,719 --> 00:42:34,040
Speaker 1: in your body. And so you're trying to decrease the

773
00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:37,200
Speaker 1: like calm your system down, and then you're going to

774
00:42:37,280 --> 00:42:40,759
Speaker 1: go running, um, which does the exact opposite. And I

775
00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:42,759
Speaker 1: know running can be soothing for people and that sort

776
00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:45,440
Speaker 1: of thing, but UM, when I think about something that

777
00:42:45,520 --> 00:42:48,480
Speaker 1: might be more helpful when you're in the midst of anxiety,

778
00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:51,279
Speaker 1: it's like, yeah, can you go to yoga? Can you

779
00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:54,840
Speaker 1: go to like a gentle flow, not like this power flow,

780
00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:58,400
Speaker 1: even though that's still helpful because you are practicing your

781
00:42:58,440 --> 00:43:03,080
Speaker 1: breath there. There's also like trauma sensitive yoga for people

782
00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:05,040
Speaker 1: who have had a lot of trauma, and I've had

783
00:43:05,080 --> 00:43:08,400
Speaker 1: clients really love that UM. And so I would say

784
00:43:08,520 --> 00:43:11,000
Speaker 1: yoga has been a big part of my own practice,

785
00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:16,440
Speaker 1: and specifically slow kind yoga. I also love some power yoga.

786
00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:19,480
Speaker 1: I'd love to work out hard, um. But when we're

787
00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:22,759
Speaker 1: thinking about ways to calm the system, and even in

788
00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:25,480
Speaker 1: this pandemic, I've done so much yoga from home. And

789
00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:27,680
Speaker 1: I used to not like yoga from home, but I've

790
00:43:27,680 --> 00:43:30,880
Speaker 1: gotten really into it. So in those times, can you

791
00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:34,120
Speaker 1: put on some sort of video on YouTube and do

792
00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:36,880
Speaker 1: some yoga? And I hear all the time, like I

793
00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:39,680
Speaker 1: hate yoga it's so born and so this. But what

794
00:43:39,719 --> 00:43:42,880
Speaker 1: you're doing again, you are training your body to be

795
00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:45,120
Speaker 1: able to slow down your training. So at first you

796
00:43:45,239 --> 00:43:47,200
Speaker 1: might hate it. Of course you're going to hate it. Yeah,

797
00:43:47,239 --> 00:43:49,759
Speaker 1: and so you're training your body to slow down and

798
00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:52,560
Speaker 1: that is a good thing. It's yoga is one of

799
00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:57,160
Speaker 1: the top like coping mechanisms for anxiety. Not because it

800
00:43:57,200 --> 00:43:59,960
Speaker 1: doesn't work, and I will I want to speak to

801
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:03,160
Speaker 1: because exercise, I mean, exercise in general is a coping strategy.

802
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:07,600
Speaker 1: You have to we say exercise. I really want to

803
00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:11,440
Speaker 1: say movement, but we say that because it's not one thing.

804
00:44:11,800 --> 00:44:16,000
Speaker 1: And yes, running for me, running is very helpful because

805
00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:18,400
Speaker 1: I am at a place where I can go run

806
00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:21,360
Speaker 1: and I don't. My body doesn't produce as much adrenaline

807
00:44:21,360 --> 00:44:24,600
Speaker 1: when I run, because it is like meditation. Running is

808
00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:27,839
Speaker 1: a bilateral stimulation. I can get in a groove. You're

809
00:44:27,840 --> 00:44:31,759
Speaker 1: listening to a podcast like yeah, and it's it is

810
00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:35,160
Speaker 1: a type of form of meditation for me. I'm not

811
00:44:35,280 --> 00:44:38,920
Speaker 1: like sprinting. My heart rate doesn't get as which I

812
00:44:39,120 --> 00:44:41,799
Speaker 1: um looked the other day because I started wearing my

813
00:44:41,840 --> 00:44:43,640
Speaker 1: Apple watch again and I was like, I want to

814
00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:46,080
Speaker 1: see the difference between like when I run, and like

815
00:44:46,120 --> 00:44:48,719
Speaker 1: when I do like a hit workout or something, and

816
00:44:48,719 --> 00:44:51,360
Speaker 1: it's like my heart rate is lower when I'm running,

817
00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:55,160
Speaker 1: But that works for me. I would never suggest somebody

818
00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:58,080
Speaker 1: who doesn't run to like, when you're anxious, go running,

819
00:44:58,239 --> 00:45:01,520
Speaker 1: Like no, that's going to shoot them through the So

820
00:45:01,640 --> 00:45:05,120
Speaker 1: again like exercise, but an exercise that kind of more

821
00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:10,240
Speaker 1: like a meditation experience for you, speaking of also guided

822
00:45:10,280 --> 00:45:13,000
Speaker 1: imagery and meditation. So if you can't go to a

823
00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:16,000
Speaker 1: therapist every time you're anxious, like, there are so many

824
00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:19,719
Speaker 1: apps on your phone from you can do a five

825
00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:26,200
Speaker 1: minute meditation, an hour meditation, that stuff. I mean, speaking

826
00:45:26,239 --> 00:45:29,360
Speaker 1: from me, I hate it, and I can't say that

827
00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:32,520
Speaker 1: it doesn't work. Yeah, but there I can think of

828
00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:35,239
Speaker 1: this one time specifically. I don't know. I do lay

829
00:45:35,239 --> 00:45:38,040
Speaker 1: on my floor a lot. I'm like, people get on

830
00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:42,040
Speaker 1: me because I really believe against wearing shoes in the house.

831
00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:43,640
Speaker 1: But I think it's because I love to lay on

832
00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:46,640
Speaker 1: the floor so much so and because I need everything

833
00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:51,320
Speaker 1: to be so cleansed. But I remember this one time specifically,

834
00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:54,600
Speaker 1: I was having so much anxiety. I laid on my floor.

835
00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:57,960
Speaker 1: I put a weighted blanket on top of me. And

836
00:45:58,280 --> 00:46:02,640
Speaker 1: I like found on YouTube like just a guided inner

837
00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:05,359
Speaker 1: child meditation. I think I literally was just youtubeing like

838
00:46:06,440 --> 00:46:09,560
Speaker 1: meditation for anxiety or something or maybe for inner child.

839
00:46:09,960 --> 00:46:12,279
Speaker 1: And I just laid there with my blanket and did

840
00:46:12,280 --> 00:46:16,480
Speaker 1: this like YouTube thing. And I don't know if it helped,

841
00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:20,360
Speaker 1: but I think so I did help. Yeah, it definitely helped.

842
00:46:20,520 --> 00:46:22,799
Speaker 1: It was definitely more helpful than like spinning around in

843
00:46:22,840 --> 00:46:26,399
Speaker 1: anxiety that makes you think of this is so long ago,

844
00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:28,960
Speaker 1: but my one of my friends, my best friend got

845
00:46:29,480 --> 00:46:32,840
Speaker 1: one of my best friendual college who got married probably

846
00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:35,640
Speaker 1: so long ago, but I went to her. She was

847
00:46:35,640 --> 00:46:37,600
Speaker 1: an elementary streets an elementary school teacher, and I went

848
00:46:37,600 --> 00:46:40,960
Speaker 1: to her school and did this guided imagery for kids,

849
00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:43,560
Speaker 1: and it was a metaphor. I was like fully on

850
00:46:43,600 --> 00:46:45,520
Speaker 1: the cloud and like her kids were. I think they

851
00:46:45,560 --> 00:46:48,239
Speaker 1: had like a lot of um some of them had

852
00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:52,080
Speaker 1: behavioral issues. They just were rowdy kids. And so anyway

853
00:46:52,160 --> 00:46:53,680
Speaker 1: I went to I think I would have done that

854
00:46:53,719 --> 00:46:56,000
Speaker 1: the week of her wedding. And then the morning of

855
00:46:56,040 --> 00:46:59,640
Speaker 1: her wedding, she was anxious and like kind of as

856
00:46:59,800 --> 00:47:02,279
Speaker 1: as it happens the day of your wedding, and she's

857
00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:05,719
Speaker 1: like Katherine, can we go lay on the cloud. We

858
00:47:05,760 --> 00:47:08,799
Speaker 1: went upstairs and like her bedroom when I put the

859
00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:11,000
Speaker 1: thing on and we laid there and like it helped.

860
00:47:12,280 --> 00:47:14,719
Speaker 1: It helps, And I think just guided imagery. I just

861
00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:16,760
Speaker 1: I love it when you can't go to a place

862
00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:19,520
Speaker 1: that's more calming, like you can create it. And there

863
00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:22,040
Speaker 1: are some really great apps, the column app headspace. I

864
00:47:22,080 --> 00:47:25,239
Speaker 1: think that one of those apps is free right now

865
00:47:25,480 --> 00:47:28,600
Speaker 1: because of the pandemic. And then the last one will

866
00:47:28,640 --> 00:47:34,759
Speaker 1: say sleep hygiene. Your body needs sleep, your body needs

867
00:47:34,800 --> 00:47:38,080
Speaker 1: to rest. That is a need that your body has,

868
00:47:38,239 --> 00:47:41,320
Speaker 1: and it is talked about this on Instagram the other day.

869
00:47:41,560 --> 00:47:44,879
Speaker 1: Productive for you to not be productive all of the time,

870
00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:48,399
Speaker 1: sleep is going to be your friends. So if you're

871
00:47:48,400 --> 00:47:50,240
Speaker 1: like I can survive off for four hours of sleep,

872
00:47:51,640 --> 00:47:55,480
Speaker 1: maybe I don't know, but really like, are you surviving

873
00:47:55,640 --> 00:47:58,000
Speaker 1: or you like living your life? Because I don't want

874
00:47:58,040 --> 00:48:02,200
Speaker 1: you to be surviving your whole life. And I understand

875
00:48:02,239 --> 00:48:04,760
Speaker 1: for so many people sleep can be especially if you're anxious,

876
00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:07,279
Speaker 1: can also be a really difficult thing. For me, I've

877
00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:09,480
Speaker 1: always been able to just sleep so much because my

878
00:48:09,520 --> 00:48:12,680
Speaker 1: anxiety wears me out and then I'm just so tired. Um,

879
00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:14,800
Speaker 1: But I also have a lot of empathy and compassion

880
00:48:14,920 --> 00:48:17,400
Speaker 1: for people who do have a hard time sleeping, and

881
00:48:17,440 --> 00:48:19,319
Speaker 1: so there are a lot of things that you can

882
00:48:19,360 --> 00:48:22,640
Speaker 1: also learn to help sleep and help your sleep get

883
00:48:22,680 --> 00:48:24,680
Speaker 1: better and get easier, which we don't we're not going

884
00:48:24,719 --> 00:48:29,399
Speaker 1: to go into. But I know that that I want

885
00:48:29,440 --> 00:48:34,080
Speaker 1: to know what you do, what you suggest, because I, UM,

886
00:48:34,080 --> 00:48:37,080
Speaker 1: when my anxiety gets worse based on like situations and

887
00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:41,080
Speaker 1: were like life events, I like literally cannot sleep, and

888
00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:45,080
Speaker 1: so something that actually helped so much was want to

889
00:48:45,120 --> 00:48:48,960
Speaker 1: sound machine, but also putting lavender on my feet. I

890
00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:51,840
Speaker 1: really don't understand that. I will just go out and

891
00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:54,960
Speaker 1: say I don't really know a lot of the stuff

892
00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:57,920
Speaker 1: behind all of these essential oils. I just know that

893
00:48:57,960 --> 00:49:00,560
Speaker 1: they work. And lavender on my don't know what it

894
00:49:00,600 --> 00:49:03,480
Speaker 1: is about my foot. It might just be really soothing

895
00:49:03,600 --> 00:49:06,359
Speaker 1: for you to like, Yeah, I think that's the other thing.

896
00:49:06,760 --> 00:49:10,719
Speaker 1: But doing I will put like a cooling face mask

897
00:49:10,800 --> 00:49:12,920
Speaker 1: on before I go to bed, I will put it

898
00:49:13,320 --> 00:49:16,880
Speaker 1: cool like a calming sound machine sound on, and I'll

899
00:49:16,920 --> 00:49:21,200
Speaker 1: put lavender on my feet and then it is very helpful. Yeah,

900
00:49:21,400 --> 00:49:25,080
Speaker 1: I I think like those are awesome suggestions. I think

901
00:49:25,120 --> 00:49:27,880
Speaker 1: the other one is like, um, if you are like

902
00:49:27,960 --> 00:49:30,480
Speaker 1: tossing and turning in your bed. Get get out of

903
00:49:30,520 --> 00:49:33,239
Speaker 1: your bed, um, and go somewhere else for a little bit,

904
00:49:33,280 --> 00:49:35,879
Speaker 1: and come back and try again so that your bed

905
00:49:36,120 --> 00:49:38,520
Speaker 1: still continues to be like this place where you believe

906
00:49:38,600 --> 00:49:41,160
Speaker 1: you can sleep. I really, personally what works for me

907
00:49:41,360 --> 00:49:44,720
Speaker 1: is the confidence method. I'm basically like, I'm a great sleeper.

908
00:49:44,960 --> 00:49:46,799
Speaker 1: I know I can go to sleep. The other day,

909
00:49:46,840 --> 00:49:49,000
Speaker 1: I was having anxiety about like I wonder if I'm

910
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:50,680
Speaker 1: not going to be able to sleep before the wedding,

911
00:49:51,160 --> 00:49:52,799
Speaker 1: and I just kind of came back to me, and

912
00:49:52,840 --> 00:49:55,440
Speaker 1: You're a great sleeper. You've always been able to sleep,

913
00:49:55,920 --> 00:49:58,640
Speaker 1: and so it's like really also believing like this is

914
00:49:58,640 --> 00:50:01,040
Speaker 1: going to go well for you. And then yeah, like

915
00:50:01,080 --> 00:50:04,239
Speaker 1: if you doing soothing things, whether that's oils or sound

916
00:50:04,280 --> 00:50:06,719
Speaker 1: machine or a shower before you go to bed, or

917
00:50:07,160 --> 00:50:09,520
Speaker 1: you know, making your bed like a really happy place

918
00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:13,000
Speaker 1: and having nice sheets and all that stuff. Um. The

919
00:50:13,040 --> 00:50:14,759
Speaker 1: only other thing I was going to add in terms

920
00:50:14,800 --> 00:50:18,080
Speaker 1: of like healing and things that can help with anxiety

921
00:50:18,280 --> 00:50:22,400
Speaker 1: is somatic work. And all somatic means is body. Like

922
00:50:22,440 --> 00:50:26,000
Speaker 1: you're focusing on the body. Um. And I think Katherine

923
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:28,359
Speaker 1: and I were talking about that before we jumped on here,

924
00:50:28,400 --> 00:50:31,520
Speaker 1: but that has been the most helpful thing for me

925
00:50:31,600 --> 00:50:36,160
Speaker 1: with healing my anxiety is working with a somatic therapist.

926
00:50:36,280 --> 00:50:39,200
Speaker 1: So you can also ask like, hey, do you do

927
00:50:39,239 --> 00:50:42,000
Speaker 1: this to your therapist and what that is and most

928
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:44,239
Speaker 1: people are so resistant to it is a lot of

929
00:50:44,280 --> 00:50:47,480
Speaker 1: like noticing what's happening in your body. So like I'll

930
00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:49,920
Speaker 1: go to an entire session and all will do really

931
00:50:50,040 --> 00:50:53,480
Speaker 1: is like what do you notice in your body? Like, um, okay,

932
00:50:53,640 --> 00:50:56,520
Speaker 1: tightness in my chest? And then it's so interesting. I

933
00:50:56,560 --> 00:50:59,759
Speaker 1: don't know if I've told you this, but I've really

934
00:50:59,760 --> 00:51:02,600
Speaker 1: had to learn through getting trained in somatic work that

935
00:51:02,760 --> 00:51:06,480
Speaker 1: like you don't actually bring your focus to where the

936
00:51:06,600 --> 00:51:08,759
Speaker 1: issue is. So if you feel tightness in your chest,

937
00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:10,839
Speaker 1: we're not talking about the tightness in the chest. We're

938
00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:14,200
Speaker 1: actually bringing the focus to like back to the breath

939
00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:16,560
Speaker 1: or like parts of the body that do feel relaxed.

940
00:51:16,920 --> 00:51:18,400
Speaker 1: And I remember the first thing they said is like

941
00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:21,799
Speaker 1: everybody always wants to go for the problem, but really

942
00:51:21,800 --> 00:51:23,960
Speaker 1: it's finding the parts of your body that are like

943
00:51:24,120 --> 00:51:27,600
Speaker 1: calmer and more relaxed that bring the solution, not talking

944
00:51:27,640 --> 00:51:30,840
Speaker 1: about the chest tightness. Yeah, and I will say what

945
00:51:31,160 --> 00:51:34,279
Speaker 1: is And here's the other thing. You might have a

946
00:51:34,320 --> 00:51:36,239
Speaker 1: therapist that's doing this work and it's not like we're

947
00:51:36,239 --> 00:51:40,640
Speaker 1: doing somatic work, but just knowing that a lot of

948
00:51:40,680 --> 00:51:42,959
Speaker 1: the things that your body is doing in session, whether

949
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:45,600
Speaker 1: it's like you're shaking your foot or you're biting your nails,

950
00:51:45,680 --> 00:51:48,600
Speaker 1: or you're just like whatever you're doing, or you move

951
00:51:48,840 --> 00:51:51,400
Speaker 1: you move your hand to certain place, a lot of

952
00:51:51,440 --> 00:51:53,719
Speaker 1: times that's because there's like safety in those parts of

953
00:51:53,719 --> 00:51:56,439
Speaker 1: your body. So yeah, we want to know, like where

954
00:51:56,520 --> 00:51:58,360
Speaker 1: is the tightness in your chest? And okay, can you

955
00:51:58,440 --> 00:52:00,439
Speaker 1: bring your focus back to the fact that your hands

956
00:52:00,440 --> 00:52:02,839
Speaker 1: feel safe and that's why you're like that's why your

957
00:52:02,880 --> 00:52:05,000
Speaker 1: hands are clunched, because like, my hands feel really safe

958
00:52:05,000 --> 00:52:07,880
Speaker 1: and this is protecting me. And so UM learning that

959
00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:10,359
Speaker 1: like your body is a resource as well, So like, yeah,

960
00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:12,879
Speaker 1: your heart is racing, but your body at the same

961
00:52:12,920 --> 00:52:15,040
Speaker 1: time as a resource. And so where does your body

962
00:52:15,040 --> 00:52:19,200
Speaker 1: feel safe? Can you connect those things? And I always

963
00:52:19,239 --> 00:52:20,680
Speaker 1: have to say this because I think a lot of

964
00:52:20,719 --> 00:52:23,319
Speaker 1: times if you're not, I mean I thought this when

965
00:52:23,360 --> 00:52:27,440
Speaker 1: I went to UM my first training in somatically, like

966
00:52:27,520 --> 00:52:31,840
Speaker 1: this voodoo ship, like this this is weird, Like I don't.

967
00:52:31,880 --> 00:52:35,840
Speaker 1: But then I'm like, and this freaking works, and you

968
00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:37,920
Speaker 1: just have to sit in it and you have to

969
00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:40,120
Speaker 1: like go with it for a little bit and question

970
00:52:40,160 --> 00:52:42,960
Speaker 1: it be a skeptic. But we were talking about it before,

971
00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:45,239
Speaker 1: like it is weird for somebody to constantly be put

972
00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:48,440
Speaker 1: pointing out like hey, I noticed I'm noticing your you know,

973
00:52:48,480 --> 00:52:50,560
Speaker 1: shaking your leg or not as you're picking your nails

974
00:52:50,719 --> 00:52:52,920
Speaker 1: or like yeah, and some of the stuff that you

975
00:52:53,280 --> 00:52:55,520
Speaker 1: and noticing your body is so different than what our

976
00:52:55,560 --> 00:52:57,920
Speaker 1: culture says. Kind of like we were laughing about the

977
00:52:58,000 --> 00:53:00,080
Speaker 1: question too, of like how old do you feel at

978
00:53:00,120 --> 00:53:04,040
Speaker 1: this moment? And as a client, even myself and people

979
00:53:04,080 --> 00:53:06,600
Speaker 1: I work with, some people like get really frustrated with

980
00:53:06,640 --> 00:53:11,280
Speaker 1: the question. But I think it's because it's so unfamiliar. Yeah, yeah,

981
00:53:11,640 --> 00:53:13,560
Speaker 1: and that's why a lot I don't know you. But

982
00:53:13,719 --> 00:53:15,799
Speaker 1: when people are like I need to stop. All the time,

983
00:53:15,840 --> 00:53:17,399
Speaker 1: I hear people being like, I need to stop picking

984
00:53:17,400 --> 00:53:19,560
Speaker 1: my nails. I need And I'm like, do you do

985
00:53:19,560 --> 00:53:21,000
Speaker 1: you need to stop picking your nails because you have

986
00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:23,759
Speaker 1: no nails? Because I will pick up my nails. But

987
00:53:23,760 --> 00:53:26,400
Speaker 1: I don't feel like I need to stop. But maybe

988
00:53:26,440 --> 00:53:27,799
Speaker 1: for you, you just need to put something else in

989
00:53:27,840 --> 00:53:31,359
Speaker 1: your hand. And because I don't the fidgeting or what

990
00:53:31,440 --> 00:53:35,080
Speaker 1: the whatever that is doesn't necessarily mean it's bad for me.

991
00:53:35,120 --> 00:53:38,040
Speaker 1: It's that helps keep me regulating calm. Yeah, Like you

992
00:53:38,120 --> 00:53:40,799
Speaker 1: don't notice we're not trying to get people. It's I

993
00:53:40,800 --> 00:53:42,919
Speaker 1: love that you're bringing up again because like sometimes I'll

994
00:53:42,920 --> 00:53:45,439
Speaker 1: say to somebody like, hey, I'm noticing your leg is moving,

995
00:53:45,520 --> 00:53:47,560
Speaker 1: and what do you think they do? Stop? It's like, yeah,

996
00:53:47,719 --> 00:53:51,680
Speaker 1: keep keep moving. That's allowing you to stay in the room. Automatically,

997
00:53:51,880 --> 00:53:54,440
Speaker 1: they stopped doing it, and I'm like, I'm just noticing you.

998
00:53:54,560 --> 00:53:56,360
Speaker 1: Like I'm not saying to keep doing it or to

999
00:53:56,440 --> 00:53:59,000
Speaker 1: stop doing it. Like, let's just pay attention to what

1000
00:53:59,120 --> 00:54:01,959
Speaker 1: your body wants to do, because it's telling us all

1001
00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:04,600
Speaker 1: of these things. And so again, in all of this,

1002
00:54:04,800 --> 00:54:08,440
Speaker 1: like I feel so strongly about like nothing is wrong

1003
00:54:08,520 --> 00:54:10,600
Speaker 1: with you or the way your body moves or the

1004
00:54:10,640 --> 00:54:14,640
Speaker 1: way things you're doing. Some of it might not be helpful, um,

1005
00:54:14,680 --> 00:54:17,400
Speaker 1: but we're not always trying to like change you. Like

1006
00:54:17,520 --> 00:54:20,320
Speaker 1: your body is doing what it's made to do, and

1007
00:54:20,520 --> 00:54:22,920
Speaker 1: sometimes it's not helpful stuff, and so we need to

1008
00:54:22,960 --> 00:54:25,719
Speaker 1: like find a way to make it more helpful for you.

1009
00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:29,760
Speaker 1: But this is definitely in this and therapy is definitely

1010
00:54:29,800 --> 00:54:35,279
Speaker 1: not like trying to fix you. Yeah. So okay, I

1011
00:54:35,320 --> 00:54:37,840
Speaker 1: did what kind of god of time? I think we

1012
00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:42,520
Speaker 1: covered to be honest, like every question that I got, Um,

1013
00:54:42,880 --> 00:54:44,960
Speaker 1: oh yeah, I forgot about that. Yeah, I think we

1014
00:54:45,040 --> 00:54:50,279
Speaker 1: really did. There's um yeah, almost every single question we

1015
00:54:50,440 --> 00:54:54,320
Speaker 1: covered with We might not have set it explicitly perfectly,

1016
00:54:54,880 --> 00:54:59,399
Speaker 1: but obviously there's more conversation to be had about this.

1017
00:54:59,600 --> 00:55:02,799
Speaker 1: And um, I would say this, if you have more

1018
00:55:02,880 --> 00:55:05,839
Speaker 1: questions or um, you realize that, like this is something

1019
00:55:05,880 --> 00:55:08,719
Speaker 1: that you like, reach out to somebody. And this podcast

1020
00:55:08,800 --> 00:55:11,160
Speaker 1: is designed to be a starting point for a lot

1021
00:55:11,239 --> 00:55:13,399
Speaker 1: of you guys, And so if there's more you want,

1022
00:55:13,440 --> 00:55:19,480
Speaker 1: like again, reach out to somebody. Um. Yeah, I don't

1023
00:55:19,480 --> 00:55:22,239
Speaker 1: really have anything else to say. It's good to be

1024
00:55:22,320 --> 00:55:25,520
Speaker 1: here today. Yeah, I'm in Megan's office now. Yeah, we

1025
00:55:25,520 --> 00:55:27,120
Speaker 1: didn't even say that. This was the first time in

1026
00:55:27,120 --> 00:55:31,360
Speaker 1: the Megan's office. So, um, it's really cute. House is

1027
00:55:31,400 --> 00:55:34,680
Speaker 1: really cute. So as always, thank you guys for listening,

1028
00:55:35,239 --> 00:55:39,000
Speaker 1: and we'll be back in two weeks right before Megan

1029
00:55:39,080 --> 00:55:41,600
Speaker 1: gets married. Yeah, see you guys. Bye.