Speaker 1: I won't let my body out be out wait everything
Speaker 1: that I'm made, won't spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 2: I'm learning love who I am again. I'm strong, I
Speaker 2: feel free, I know everybody of me it is beautiful.
Speaker 1: And that will always out way if you feel.
Speaker 2: It, but yours and here she'll some love too.
Speaker 1: There say good day and did you and die out way?
Speaker 1: Happy Saturday, outweigh it's leanne here and welcome back to
Speaker 1: Part six and the final part of our Reclaiming Your
Speaker 1: Worthiness series. And so if you've been following along, you
Speaker 1: know that we've been going way deeper than the typical
Speaker 1: self love stuff. And so we've talked about reclaiming your
Speaker 1: worth even if you don't accept yourself yet, like letting
Speaker 1: yourself be there and that's okay, right. We've unraveled the
Speaker 1: toxic pull of external validation, and we've exposed the invisible
Speaker 1: war that women fight inside their minds and bodies, and
Speaker 1: we've dismantled the silent rules running your life that you
Speaker 1: might not know were even there. And last week, in
Speaker 1: Part five, we gave voice to the fear of being
Speaker 1: too much, too much of this, too much of that,
Speaker 1: not enough of that, and so today we're talking about
Speaker 1: something even sneakier, and it's not just a feeling of
Speaker 1: not being enough, but how that feeling actually becomes your
Speaker 1: identity and when this not enough idea becomes who you
Speaker 1: think you are. And so let's just start here. Most
Speaker 1: onen don't walk around saying, hi, I'm not enough. Right,
Speaker 1: But if you really slow it down, and if you
Speaker 1: really start to listen to your inner dialogue, you'll hear it, right.
Speaker 1: You'll hear it sounds things like, you know, when I
Speaker 1: finally lose the weight, then I will be worthy of love,
Speaker 1: a better job, a relationship, whatever, right to buy new clothes,
Speaker 1: whatever it is.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: It might sound like if I could just stop eating this,
Speaker 1: then maybe i'd respect myself. Or you know, other women
Speaker 1: have more discipline and more motivation and more control than
Speaker 1: I do.
Speaker 2: Or it might sound like, you know what is wrong.
Speaker 1: With me that I can't get it together, or that
Speaker 1: this is the one area that I can't get together,
Speaker 1: you know, or if I was better, I wouldn't need
Speaker 1: so much. Maybe you're calling yourself needy, And that's not
Speaker 1: just self doubt. That is an entire self concept, that's
Speaker 1: an identity and the reason it's so hard to shift
Speaker 1: out of is because it becomes familiar, and it becomes safe,
Speaker 1: and it becomes predictable, even if it's really really painful.
Speaker 1: It becomes your home base. And so let's talk briefly
Speaker 1: about the science of identity and why your brain clings
Speaker 1: to familiar beliefs. Well, your brain just has one job,
Speaker 1: and that job is survival.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: It's not interested in your goals or your dreams or
Speaker 1: your gene size. It wants predictability. And so if your
Speaker 1: brain has been marinating in beliefs like I'm not enough
Speaker 1: and again it's a sneaky version of I'm not enough,
Speaker 1: and it's been marinating on those thoughts for years or decades,
Speaker 1: then guess what, Like that belief becomes a neural pathway,
Speaker 1: which and then it becomes this well worn road that
Speaker 1: your brain travels down automatically. So first it becomes a
Speaker 1: neural pathway, but if it's traveled down a lot, then
Speaker 1: it becomes an automatic neural pathway that happens without you
Speaker 1: thinking about it. And even if you want to believe
Speaker 1: something new like I am enough, your brain resists it.
Speaker 1: And so why is that right, Well, because it's not
Speaker 1: familiar enough yet right, and not enough feels very familiar
Speaker 1: and it feels safe, and it feels like you because
Speaker 1: again you've built a self concept and identity, and so
Speaker 1: your brain says, let's just stick with what we know.
Speaker 1: And that is why affirmations often don't work, because if
Speaker 1: the belief underneath it all subconscious and really fired and wired,
Speaker 1: if the belief is I'm broken, and then you're starting
Speaker 1: to say like I'm whole, it's not gonna land right.
Speaker 1: Your brain rejects it like oil and wine. And so
Speaker 1: let's talk about what happens when not enoughness becomes your identity,
Speaker 1: especially around.
Speaker 2: Food and your body.
Speaker 1: And so maybe you restrict food to try to feel
Speaker 1: in control and then spiral when your willpower runs out,
Speaker 1: or you binge or emotionally eat and then beat yourself up,
Speaker 1: and that just reinforces this identity of I'm a failure
Speaker 1: or maybe you I mean this is these these are
Speaker 1: all me, let's be honest. But like you wake up
Speaker 1: every Monday with these like new rules. You're like, Okay, Monday,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna start that, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: stop that. But by Wednesday you're already ashamed of yourself
Speaker 1: for breaking them, or just like you're living in the gray,
Speaker 1: like you're not in but you're not out right, or
Speaker 1: you don't trust yourself around food, so you constantly outsource
Speaker 1: your power to plans or points or programs or macros,
Speaker 1: or maybe you feel like you're starting over every single week,
Speaker 1: every single month, every single you know, Monday morning that
Speaker 1: rolls around and it's like Groundhog's Day. And here's the
Speaker 1: truth underneath all of that. It is not just about
Speaker 1: the food. It is about the identity that you've attached
Speaker 1: to the food. Because when you believe that you're not enough,
Speaker 1: you're going to interpret every action, every mistake, every craving
Speaker 1: through that lens. And so you'll say, like, see, I
Speaker 1: knew i'd mess this up, like proof, this is proof
Speaker 1: I just can't be trusted around food, or I can't
Speaker 1: be trusted with whatever, or again, why even try?
Speaker 2: And around and round we go. That's the merry go round.
Speaker 1: And this is where I want to pause and say
Speaker 1: something really clearly. This is the stuff that makes us
Speaker 1: feel like we're broken. Okay, but you are not broken.
Speaker 1: You're just wired, like your brain just got wired this way,
Speaker 1: and your brain is not working against you per se.
Speaker 1: It's doing exactly what it was wired to do, which
Speaker 1: is keep you safe, keep you predictable, and keep you
Speaker 1: in this identity that you've worked to create. Again, you
Speaker 1: didn't know it, but it's been created, and it's been reinforced, reinforced, reinforced.
Speaker 1: But here is the incredible part, the miraculous part, The
Speaker 1: stuff I love about neuroscience is that just as your
Speaker 1: brain learned this identity of not enough, it can go
Speaker 1: learn something new.
Speaker 2: And it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: How old you are, how far gone you are. It's
Speaker 1: not about flipping a switch. It's about building a bridge right,
Speaker 1: one step, one thought, one experience at a time, and
Speaker 1: again that bridge can be built no matter where you
Speaker 1: are in your life.
Speaker 2: And that's why reclaiming.
Speaker 1: Your identity and discovering who you are without the story
Speaker 1: of not enough, this is the real work. And it's
Speaker 1: not just about releasing the weight or fixing your food.
Speaker 1: It's about reclaiming the truth of who you are beneath
Speaker 1: all of that noise that got picked up. Because here
Speaker 1: is what I know to be true. You were never
Speaker 1: meant to live inside this identity of not enough, and
Speaker 1: you were never meant to define yourself by your past,
Speaker 1: or your your patterns, or your pain that you find
Speaker 1: yourself in.
Speaker 2: I was so defined by my pain.
Speaker 1: Right, and when that story has been playing out for years,
Speaker 1: it's understandable. It's so hard to imagine who you'd be
Speaker 1: without it, Right, That's the part that kind of scares us.
Speaker 1: And that's why I don't just teach food strategies or
Speaker 1: habit change. I teach brain rewiring, and I teach self
Speaker 1: image transformation, and I teach identity work. Because it's not
Speaker 1: enough to just do different things. You have to become
Speaker 1: a different version of you, the one that was there
Speaker 1: all along, but it was just buried under shame and
Speaker 1: self doubt and that old wiring that just got piled
Speaker 1: on top. And so here's what the shift actually looks like,
Speaker 1: moment by moment, and it really is micro choice by
Speaker 1: micro choice and micro awareness by micro awareness. But it
Speaker 1: looks like things like you pause before a binge and
Speaker 1: you ask, like, what do I really need right now
Speaker 1: because I'm physically not hungry, like this is emotional and
Speaker 1: then knowing how to be emotionally available to yourself in
Speaker 1: those moments. It's when you catch yourself inside of a
Speaker 1: shame spiral, and you say like, this doesn't mean I'm broken,
Speaker 1: this means I'm overwhelmed, and you can see the difference
Speaker 1: and you know like, oh, this isn't shame, this is
Speaker 1: me being overwhelmed.
Speaker 2: Now what do I need when I'm overwhelmed?
Speaker 1: And we create your own recipe, right, and then you
Speaker 1: know the difference in your bones, and then that knowingness
Speaker 1: becomes your default.
Speaker 2: It looks like you know.
Speaker 1: You noticing yourself talk and gently saying like, that's the
Speaker 1: old story and that is drama and I'm not living
Speaker 1: there anymore. This is not who I am anymore. And
Speaker 1: then you know it and believe it because you did
Speaker 1: the work to transform it. And it shows up where
Speaker 1: all of a sudden you look back and you're like, wow,
Speaker 1: I'm not earning my worth.
Speaker 2: I'm just acting like I already have it.
Speaker 1: And this is identity in motion and it's not perfection
Speaker 1: and it's not some magical transformation, but it's slow, steady
Speaker 1: and compassionate rewiring doesn't work when you're doing punishment driven rewiring, right,
Speaker 1: And so if you're ready to gently untangle from the
Speaker 1: identity of no, here are some points.
Speaker 2: That you might want to explore.
Speaker 1: Okay, so what were you taught directly or indirectly about
Speaker 1: your worth growing up? Like you just want to have
Speaker 1: an awareness about what is what are you weighing and
Speaker 1: measuring yourself by right now?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: And then what does your inner voice sound like when
Speaker 1: it's in not enough mode? Like what is your version
Speaker 1: of the drama, the story, the meaning that you're giving it?
Speaker 2: Right? What version are you protecting by holding on to
Speaker 2: that identity?
Speaker 1: So I have a client that you know, she was like,
Speaker 1: I my go to is anger when I'm feeling stressed.
Speaker 1: And she learned and again it was unconscious and subconscious
Speaker 1: that anger was the way that she protected herself when
Speaker 1: she was stressed. And it's like, no, she was just
Speaker 1: holding onto that and realizing like, actually, what I'm stressed,
Speaker 1: what I really need is X, And we needed to
Speaker 1: figure out what her anti stress version was.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: But then it's like a matter of like, okay, well
Speaker 1: who would you become if you no longer believed that
Speaker 1: you were broken and that you had to earn your worth?
Speaker 2: And so I want to leave you with this.
Speaker 1: Remember, like, your identity is not fixed, It is not
Speaker 1: set in stone, It is not defined by your past,
Speaker 1: or your mistakes or your eating habits, and you are
Speaker 1: not broken. You are becoming, or at least you can
Speaker 1: be the version of yourself, becoming the next version of yourself,
Speaker 1: because not enough is not.
Speaker 2: Who you are.
Speaker 1: It's just a story that you learned to tell yourself.
Speaker 1: And so here's what I want to leave you with today.
Speaker 1: You don't need to become a new person. You just
Speaker 1: need to return to the version of you that was
Speaker 1: whole all along, the you that was available before the shame,
Speaker 1: and the you before the trauma, and the you that
Speaker 1: existed before the world told you to be less and
Speaker 1: feel less and want less. And that woman she is
Speaker 1: still in there, and she is not too much, and
Speaker 1: she is not not enough.
Speaker 2: She is exactly who she is supposed to be.
Speaker 1: And she's probably if I'm hearing you and reading you
Speaker 1: and intuiting you correctly, she's ready for peace. She doesn't
Speaker 1: want to fight this battle anymore. She is ready for peace.
Speaker 1: So that is it for today. Outweigh and if you
Speaker 1: want to learn more about how I personally teach my
Speaker 1: clients to turn off the part of their brain that
Speaker 1: is obsessed with food, obsessed with their weight, and do
Speaker 1: exactly what we're talking about here, rewire their self image
Speaker 1: and identity not just for peace and freedom, but for
Speaker 1: actually receiving their worthiness. Then head on over to stressless
Speaker 1: eating dot com where I've literally peeled back the curtain
Speaker 1: and walked you through the exact strategy that I teach
Speaker 1: my own clients to go through the healing process themselves.
Speaker 1: So head on over there to stressless eeating dot com
Speaker 1: and we'll be back for more outweigh next week.
Speaker 2: Bye.