Speaker 1: I leave in a you wanna way back home?
Speaker 2: Either way we want to be there, doesn't matter how
Speaker 2: much baggage you claim and give us time and a
Speaker 2: turmanol and gay.
Speaker 3: We want to send you off inside. Do you wanna
Speaker 3: welcome you back home? Tell us all about every scared her?
Speaker 3: Was it fine?
Speaker 2: Now?
Speaker 3: Porn? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 4: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 4: Do you need to ride? Do your need ride?
Speaker 5: Ride with Karen and Chris when.
Speaker 4: Welcome? Do you need a ride? This is Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 3: And this is Karen Kilgariff.
Speaker 4: I'm some I go by Christopher James Fairbanks, but Chris
Speaker 4: Fairbanks professionally, because there's another Christopher Fairbanks in town, and
Speaker 4: a Christopher Fairbank in England. Singular yeah one, that's actually
Speaker 4: what my name used to be. I guess I don't
Speaker 4: know when Americans added the ass.
Speaker 3: Ellis Island, that's where a lot of those mistakes happened.
Speaker 4: Yeah, a lot of asses were just thrown around Willy
Speaker 4: Nilly up there, or they used to be called Willy Nilly's.
Speaker 3: Uh you know why what a lot of snakes worked
Speaker 3: at Ellis Island.
Speaker 4: Snakes with lisps.
Speaker 3: Lisps, and uh, they would have collars around their neck
Speaker 3: and a high that's in a little hat.
Speaker 4: I love the idea of a worm when it's raining.
Speaker 4: He's like, well, it's a perfect day for a while,
Speaker 4: and he's got a little tie and a little hat.
Speaker 3: A formal worm.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, in a briefcase. I don't know how he
Speaker 4: carries it, but I just don't have always thought because
Speaker 4: worms go out when it rains. They love it, and
Speaker 4: they they almost never go out otherwise.
Speaker 1: They are very they're fiercely private people.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's hard to crack a worm.
Speaker 1: But here's how you crack them.
Speaker 3: Did you hear that?
Speaker 4: Yeah, that was weird because that was a bodily that
Speaker 4: you had no control over.
Speaker 3: That that was I guess that was my water going
Speaker 3: down a second time as I carry took the gulp
Speaker 3: of it before we started dual tracheas you.
Speaker 1: Know what I did today at work?
Speaker 3: Are the bathrooms at work are right next to the
Speaker 3: the women's bathrooms are right next to the writing room.
Speaker 3: And after I finished what I wanted to do in
Speaker 3: the bathroom, I wash my hands. People want details, okay,
Speaker 3: sat down, then pulled my pants down, laughed. Oh, that
Speaker 3: mistake again. Right as I was about to leave, I
Speaker 3: was like throwing the paper towel away, and I felt
Speaker 3: because I just sit there and drink coffee and dit
Speaker 3: coke all day in that room, I ripped a huge
Speaker 3: belch like I was like, oh, I have to burp,
Speaker 3: and I'm by myself, so I was like raw. It
Speaker 3: was like fuck. It was the MGM level lion belt.
Speaker 3: And then I walked back into the room and sat
Speaker 3: down and it was so quiet. I was like, Oh,
Speaker 3: there's absolutely no way every didn't everyone didn't hear me
Speaker 3: just do that?
Speaker 4: Oh? And then but no, we don't. They were ashamed.
Speaker 4: They had shame in their eyes.
Speaker 3: For I mean, I don't know if they would either.
Speaker 3: We don't all know each other that well. So like
Speaker 3: I feel like it was you and I, you'd be like,
Speaker 3: can't we start to do that?
Speaker 4: That was a hell of a.
Speaker 1: Burp or something.
Speaker 4: We'd high five, you know us.
Speaker 3: I mean I would run down the line of chairs.
Speaker 3: But it was that kind of thing where it's like
Speaker 3: starting a new school that vibe and still coming in
Speaker 3: and sitting down to a quiet room and then being like, oh,
Speaker 3: that was top volume.
Speaker 4: Did you want to just say, are you guys being
Speaker 4: quiet because of my burp? Yes, that light in the mood.
Speaker 3: I wanted to make a joke about it. I wanted
Speaker 3: to look at the guy across from me and go, hey,
Speaker 3: did you hear that? Purport just did? And then I said, nope,
Speaker 3: I just have to sit with this discomfort.
Speaker 4: Well, what what just happened? Sounded like a burp but muffled,
Speaker 4: like it was happening inside your body, Like there was
Speaker 4: another you inside you that was like burp and saw
Speaker 4: the opportunity while your mouth was open. But it came
Speaker 4: from deep down.
Speaker 3: There is another me inside me. She's very shy. She
Speaker 3: reads and gets her stuff done on time, and I
Speaker 3: never let her out. That was just a little cry
Speaker 3: for help of her, going please.
Speaker 4: You gotta get her out of there, because if I
Speaker 4: learned anything from inner space, if she ends up in
Speaker 4: your heart.
Speaker 3: She'll kill me.
Speaker 4: Well you'll kill her.
Speaker 3: Oh is that right?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Oh she can't live.
Speaker 4: Yeah, she can't go past the valve.
Speaker 3: There can only be one there was.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think there was some sort of urgency. What
Speaker 4: a ridiculous eighties movie premise. They shrunk down a little
Speaker 4: man in a little vehicle and he was going through
Speaker 4: the ship Martin Short's.
Speaker 3: Bloodstream, that's right, and making him have all kinds of
Speaker 3: weird physical reactions.
Speaker 4: Yeah, for some reason, it would make him the reaction
Speaker 4: was shooting a vacuum at at his mouth. That was
Speaker 4: what they did for the effects. Is they would shoot
Speaker 4: a vacuum and Martin Short's mouth and his lips would
Speaker 4: get all huge. It's like they're just shooting a vacuum
Speaker 4: out of the vacuum was off screen.
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, like the g force yeah thing.
Speaker 4: Yes, but it would just happen while he was at
Speaker 4: dinner impersonating someone else, and then they're like, oh, he's
Speaker 4: losing it. Why's he got vacuum mouth?
Speaker 3: There was a serious missus doubtfire feel to that movie
Speaker 3: where he was trying to pretend he was someone he wasn't. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but he also had Dennis Quaid inside of him.
Speaker 4: Yeah, getting him, giving him almost confidence that at times
Speaker 4: was like a superpower. But then for a while, after
Speaker 4: he kissed Meg Ryan memory made time with Dennis Quaid's girl.
Speaker 4: That's right, that's right, through this saliva ended up in her. Oh.
Speaker 4: But even though the Quaid wasn't in him anymore, he
Speaker 4: was still kicking ass, beating people up and stuff. And
Speaker 4: then when it re entered, sorry I left you for
Speaker 4: a while, He's like, I was doing all that on
Speaker 4: my own, made him a better person.
Speaker 3: That's when his confidence grew and he realized he had
Speaker 3: it inside him all along. Yeah, and then remember when
Speaker 3: it ended with that huge.
Speaker 4: Burp the best right end the movie.
Speaker 3: I remember seeing in her space in the theater, laughing
Speaker 3: like crazy. And I was at that age where Meg
Speaker 3: Ryan was like our homecoming queen. She was in every
Speaker 3: movie and she was the most beautiful woman in the
Speaker 3: world and loved her everyone. She was like your best friend.
Speaker 3: She was what everyone wanted to look like. She had
Speaker 3: a sweater. I wanted to buy it when the movie
Speaker 3: was over.
Speaker 4: We all wanted to have what she's having. We just
Speaker 4: did she she had it, and then she had some
Speaker 4: I mean the room. I hate to gossip about Hollywood,
Speaker 4: but she had some some some surgery mishaps on her face.
Speaker 3: Hey, look everyone in her class of women from Hollywood. Like,
Speaker 3: there's a couple upcoming TV shows we watched trailers for.
Speaker 3: First of all, you can't fight time, can't not age. Secondly,
Speaker 3: if you get fillers around your mouth, it's gonna fuck
Speaker 3: your face up when when inevitably everything you don't get
Speaker 3: filled falls into crevis around it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, then you have these weird solid lip inserts, yes,
Speaker 4: that are just dangling on their own accord.
Speaker 3: And you look like someone beat you in the face
Speaker 3: with a shovel and you got out of the hospital
Speaker 3: four days prior and put on some lip gloss.
Speaker 4: That's happened a few times. We're out of fear and
Speaker 4: getting scared about getting older. A few actresses I can
Speaker 4: think of did have work done, maybe back before they
Speaker 4: were good at it, and then ended their careers. That's right,
Speaker 4: Jennifer Gray. Some other people, Jennifer Gray.
Speaker 3: I feel like her work was good, but it changed.
Speaker 3: She made the mistake. No one wanted to see her
Speaker 3: with a plain old nose. Her great feature was she
Speaker 3: was a girl who was gorgeous and had that nose right.
Speaker 3: And she basically said to America, Hey, everybody that looks
Speaker 3: like me, that was stoked when you saw me in
Speaker 3: dirty dancing, the fuck yourself.
Speaker 4: Did you know my mom got a nose job? No?
Speaker 4: In Missoula, Montana. No, in the early nineties, not the
Speaker 4: best market for nosework. And also it was the same
Speaker 4: thing with my mom. Very pretty, but she didn't like
Speaker 4: her Barbara streisand nose, she called it.
Speaker 3: She thought it was too big.
Speaker 4: She didn't like there was like a bomb on it.
Speaker 4: So some guy took it. I remember her recovering for
Speaker 4: well over a year. She just had black eyes and
Speaker 4: light It was like a year. He really didn't do
Speaker 4: an efficient job.
Speaker 3: That's not good.
Speaker 4: No, And then afterwards it pretty much looked the same
Speaker 4: to everyone and no one noticed it. She's like, good,
Speaker 4: I didn't want anyone. I'm like, yes, of course you did.
Speaker 4: Why would you? You don't want anyone to notice, but
Speaker 4: you want it to be different.
Speaker 3: How was she in her forties? She was, yeah, it
Speaker 3: is okay when.
Speaker 4: That in a belly button ring? Yeah yeah, sorry, started
Speaker 4: running no stuff, naval ring, naval ring stuff, half marathons.
Speaker 4: I thought it was cool. I remember thinking it was cool. Well,
Speaker 4: it's like, wow, she's gonna grow I'm gonna grow up,
Speaker 4: and she's gonna let me have tattoos. I thought.
Speaker 3: I mean, it's it's her way of saying I'm still
Speaker 3: in the game, which I respect.
Speaker 4: Oh, she was in the game bold, But if we're
Speaker 4: talking about her, fucking men.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the game.
Speaker 4: That's why did I walk in on this again? If
Speaker 4: I didn't ruin the mood, I came to get some homework. Nice,
Speaker 4: I live here too, Nice penis guy that lived in
Speaker 4: There's a guy that lived in his van. He had
Speaker 4: one ear day only I think his name was.
Speaker 3: What happened to the other ear?
Speaker 4: I don't know. The other year stayed the same? Oh sorry,
Speaker 4: the missing one for whatever, he lost his ear. What
Speaker 4: happened to the other year It stayed on his head?
Speaker 3: Of course, don't worry about that.
Speaker 4: Let's talk more about the missing one sits down taste.
Speaker 4: I don't know how he lost it. I assume in
Speaker 4: some sort of a Butte Montana brawl. But I kind
Speaker 4: of in retrospect. I liked the guy had all these
Speaker 4: rock shirts and a van with a mural on the side.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, and he bought me some bugle boys once
Speaker 4: he was nice.
Speaker 3: Uh google boys are popular pant Oh yeah, I was
Speaker 3: thinking of bugles.
Speaker 4: He bought me a bag of bugles once.
Speaker 3: I loved it.
Speaker 4: I ate him in his van. He was a good
Speaker 4: could have been a new stepdad.
Speaker 3: What was that was Dale? Her boyfriend for a little while?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Yeah, off and on that he'd drive him from
Speaker 4: Butte Oh, and my friends had come over and look
Speaker 4: at Dale, and then they'd mock him after Dale was gone,
Speaker 4: and I was like, shut up, guys, can't help what
Speaker 4: happened to it.
Speaker 3: They'd mocked the ear.
Speaker 4: Oh, there's a few things. His hair was something to marvel,
Speaker 4: a little bit of a spiky flat top on top
Speaker 4: and there a bit of a mullet and back.
Speaker 3: You know what.
Speaker 4: He was a partying man.
Speaker 3: His name was Dale. That's the only haircut he could have.
Speaker 5: Dale.
Speaker 1: That's required for Dale's.
Speaker 4: Oh, Dale, if you're listening out there, Dale, I ain't
Speaker 4: mad at you. You're a good man day good man.
Speaker 4: You turn your life around with AA.
Speaker 3: If you're listening Dale. Oh that's right, you have one
Speaker 3: good air.
Speaker 4: Yeahs terrible.
Speaker 1: That was awful. I'm talking to a real person.
Speaker 4: Maybe or yeah maybe not. Yeah, you're always just half
Speaker 4: listening Dale. Oh, come on.
Speaker 3: My mom when she was in her late forties, early fifties,
Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure I told you this already got permanent lipliner.
Speaker 3: Did I tell you this story?
Speaker 4: Wow? So she got that's I've never heard. That's like
Speaker 4: a new thing.
Speaker 3: Yeah it was. It was on your lips exactly. And
Speaker 3: so I think this is the thing is I think
Speaker 3: we're talking about. They were just going through midlife crises,
Speaker 3: and it's that thing of like I'm no longer attractive
Speaker 3: and I don't know what to do about it, or
Speaker 3: I still want to be. My mom's move was so strange, though,
Speaker 3: because she was so I mean, she was happily married,
Speaker 3: and she was very much like a you know, I
Speaker 3: don't know, my hand's on my hip right now. She's
Speaker 3: like one of those kind of women.
Speaker 4: Missus Garrett. I don't know, you just I don't know.
Speaker 3: She was empowered, she was very you know, self possessed,
Speaker 3: self actualized. So she came home one day with a
Speaker 3: hot pink line around her lips, and we don't went
Speaker 3: hot pink, she went, well, I think that was so.
Speaker 3: I think what happened is her hairdresser convinced her to
Speaker 3: do it, and maybe her hairdresser got her license to
Speaker 3: do it, right, and so.
Speaker 4: I need to practice on some human lips, that's right.
Speaker 3: And it was like, well, what color lipstick? Do you
Speaker 3: normally wear? A rust color? Okay, then let me get
Speaker 3: my hot pink. Oh no tattoo line. So it it.
Speaker 3: None of it made sense, and I think maybe.
Speaker 4: You have to cover it with real lipstick the rest
Speaker 4: of our life.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it ended up fading like within a year.
Speaker 3: Oh really, But the weirdest part was this, and maybe
Speaker 3: this was the beginning. Now we were still early, we
Speaker 3: were not nowhere near the alzheimmer's days. But when my
Speaker 3: sister and I confronted her on it, which of course
Speaker 3: we did because we were we are very cruel hearted people, sure,
Speaker 3: and we can't let one thing go by. Yes, when
Speaker 3: we in tandem attacked her with what the fuck is
Speaker 3: on your mouth? She denied it outright that she had
Speaker 3: done anything, which it would be like if I turned
Speaker 3: around right now, took a sharpie, went like this about
Speaker 3: it with shape?
Speaker 4: Why did you put sharpie all over your face?
Speaker 3: What are you talking about? I would never put sharpie.
Speaker 4: I kind of. I watched you do it. You picked
Speaker 4: up a marker.
Speaker 1: I didn't do it.
Speaker 4: Huh yeah.
Speaker 3: Oh, but but i'm your mom. I'm your mom, and
Speaker 3: I'm supposed to be totally sane. It was very unnerving.
Speaker 4: Let's redo the skit and I'll call your mom instead
Speaker 4: of character. Okay, good, good, good, Wow. Well it saves time.
Speaker 3: Oh, we're not gonna disc it.
Speaker 1: Oh, I was turning away to mother.
Speaker 4: Yes, wow, How did you know that's how my mother sounded?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've done some research. Why yes, yes, she's the
Speaker 3: bank the bank manager and from I Love Lucy, missus Ricardo.
Speaker 4: It sounded like a dead Night mom.
Speaker 3: Mm hmm. Always a big fan of dead Night.
Speaker 4: Anyway, why'd you put marker on your mouth?
Speaker 3: Mom? Didn't do it?
Speaker 4: Still doing the skit.
Speaker 1: We go in and we go out. How they do
Speaker 1: it these days?
Speaker 3: It's called Harold.
Speaker 4: It's from the school of Sharna Halpern, made popular by
Speaker 4: ow Close book You Can Get out there called the
Speaker 4: Truth in Comedy because people don't just say it's funny
Speaker 4: because it's true. For now a reason. It's because it's true.
Speaker 3: It's because it's in this book.
Speaker 4: That phrase is true and the reasoning behind it is true.
Speaker 4: In comedy, that is true is funny. I don't have
Speaker 4: I noticed that. Working with April this past week, she
Speaker 4: tells a lot of real stories, and the audience was
Speaker 4: kind of in that, Oh, we've gotten to know this person,
Speaker 4: and then when I do stand up, you don't get
Speaker 4: anywhere near knowing who I am. At all, and it's
Speaker 4: kind of was I was confronted by it. I'm like,
Speaker 4: I think that I probably could talk about myself at
Speaker 4: some point, let people in.
Speaker 3: But what if it's not your style?
Speaker 4: Yeah? What if it's my Yeah, I've got this style
Speaker 4: and sometimes I wish I could change it up. But
Speaker 4: you can't be like, you know, I'm missing part of
Speaker 4: my penis. I walked in and a dog met, you know,
Speaker 4: while they've made up things and then all of a sudden,
Speaker 4: here's a story about me and Denver.
Speaker 1: Once right, people would be like pick a lane.
Speaker 4: I try. I know, I do make an announcement sometimes
Speaker 4: where I'm like, this is a real story. No part
Speaker 4: of it is made up. Everything I've set up till
Speaker 4: now is made up silly lies, and it seems to work. Okay,
Speaker 4: so I'm doing fine.
Speaker 3: Listen. What I think we're talking about right now is
Speaker 3: the anxiety that you feel when you are watching the
Speaker 3: person that goes before you do good, and then you're like,
Speaker 3: what if I don't do this?
Speaker 4: Well?
Speaker 3: What are all the things I'm doing wrong? Based on
Speaker 3: what I'm looking at right now?
Speaker 4: That's what I'm thinking when while I'm doing stand up
Speaker 4: during what if I don't do well. I don't know
Speaker 4: right now at.
Speaker 3: The end of this, and then that's when I forget
Speaker 3: the end of the joke.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I do that to my sy It's such
Speaker 4: a head game, or I can make it one. Yes,
Speaker 4: I wonder how it would feel right now mid set
Speaker 4: if I couldn't remember one of my jokes and there
Speaker 4: was a long oh there it's happening. It just happened,
Speaker 4: and turns out doesn't feel good, thanks brain.
Speaker 3: And then suddenly you see that one guy with his
Speaker 3: arms crossed, and that's all you can see.
Speaker 4: That's all I just look. I look in the audience,
Speaker 4: and I look for all the crossed arms, and I
Speaker 4: focus on those people, ignoring all the people having in
Speaker 4: good time.
Speaker 3: You know, I just realized all of them. No, there's
Speaker 3: I'm sure there's plenty.
Speaker 4: Of it's a good fraction of people enjoying me.
Speaker 1: I'm sort of a large fraction.
Speaker 3: But it's hard to see those people when you've got
Speaker 3: the army, the arms crossers. They take up so much
Speaker 3: emotional space.
Speaker 4: I don't know why I need that crossed arm guy
Speaker 4: with no sleeves in the hat that references farting to
Speaker 4: be on my side. I don't know why I need that.
Speaker 4: I hate Dale. No, not you, Dale, No, it's sorry Dale.
Speaker 3: And again, Dale, I'm sorry about the very cheap joke
Speaker 3: I mean about your missing hair. Yeah, I'm no better
Speaker 3: than any of Chris's childhood friends. I'm sorry.
Speaker 4: Uh. They would go is so and so over and
Speaker 4: they would just cut their hand over an ear to
Speaker 4: signify that it's a missing ear. Ah.
Speaker 3: Friends, Can I tell you my favorite tweet that's based
Speaker 3: on or based in what we have been talking about,
Speaker 3: which is I said I thought my set was going
Speaker 3: well and then I saw the blonde guy. Does that
Speaker 3: make sense?
Speaker 5: Wait?
Speaker 4: Yeah, wait say it again. I feel like I was
Speaker 4: using my day earlier.
Speaker 3: Oh, I thought my set was going well until I
Speaker 3: saw the blonde guy. It's always a fucking blonde guy
Speaker 3: that I see that hates me. Oh, it's always and Aaron.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, but it's always a blonde guy.
Speaker 4: Yeah. With me, it's like usually an older women that
Speaker 4: go out together for you know.
Speaker 1: Then they have some wine and they get mouthy.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, and they do not like I'm no son
Speaker 4: of theirs.
Speaker 3: There's kind of nothing I hate more as an active
Speaker 3: intersectional feminist. Wait I'm not sure if intersection is good
Speaker 3: or I've just heard it online a lot. I'm a
Speaker 3: very active, proactive feminist, but god damn, you get four
Speaker 3: women in like Morona sweaters who have had too much
Speaker 3: wine and think they need to be talking during the
Speaker 3: comedy show.
Speaker 1: I've never hated women more.
Speaker 4: I know. And it's such a hard call because they
Speaker 4: sometimes they're trying to have fun. You have to make
Speaker 4: sure first that they're not trying to have fun. Yeah,
Speaker 4: and they're being mean spirited because when they have a
Speaker 4: lot of wine and they're talking and going, oh, they're
Speaker 4: talking to a lot. That happens a lot where they're
Speaker 4: just talking to you like it's conversation. They're having fun
Speaker 4: and they think it's part of it.
Speaker 3: They like it. Yeah, they're having fun. It's not the
Speaker 3: ones that I can't stand. The ones that I was picturing.
Speaker 3: I actually enjoy. Here's the thing. If you get someone
Speaker 3: with a nice as my dad likes to say, a
Speaker 3: nice heat on, that can be the best because they
Speaker 3: it's like playing with a kitten. They have no idea
Speaker 3: what's happening, and they're setting you up perfectly and you
Speaker 3: just kind of roll with what they do. And comedy
Speaker 3: will happened if you've got like a mouthy like all
Speaker 3: wine confidence, mouthy, broad purple teeth, who's coming at you
Speaker 3: and telling you how it.
Speaker 4: Is happened in San Francisco. Oh that is friend of
Speaker 4: the owner or something. She's somehow friends with someone.
Speaker 3: Who's an expert the club. She's an expert.
Speaker 4: I was like, God, you're troublesome. And then she hung
Speaker 4: out after the show because she knew everyone. It's like,
Speaker 4: oh good, yeah, good, you didn't you're someone that got
Speaker 4: in for free.
Speaker 3: Uh so, and that you think this is about you,
Speaker 3: You think this evening should be centered around you, the
Speaker 3: person who's earned nothing the club sacrifice nothing.
Speaker 4: The club in Bloomington didn't allow bachelorette parties.
Speaker 3: Nice, Yeah, that's genius.
Speaker 4: He said, no, no, no group parties. That's something like
Speaker 4: at Capsity in Austin. They would. They were like, well,
Speaker 4: we're doing great tonight. We got three different bachelorette parties. Oh,
Speaker 4: it's packed in there. It's gonna be great.
Speaker 3: It's three at one time.
Speaker 4: They're just counting human like, yeah, they don't give a shit.
Speaker 4: It's just filling a void. Although I did ever tell
Speaker 4: you this, you have a dueling bachelorette.
Speaker 3: No, that's a nightmare. Then you're just like a weird
Speaker 3: I mean, then you then you might as well be
Speaker 3: like like a comedian at a sitcom taping. Just throw
Speaker 3: candy at them.
Speaker 4: Oh they wanted to take off your shirt. Yeah, they
Speaker 4: don't say that anymore. Oh that's okay, that's from one.
Speaker 3: That's an old huckle. Yeah, yeah, that's not for modern
Speaker 3: Chris Well.
Speaker 4: I used to look great with my shirt off. Really, No, no,
Speaker 4: it's always been the same. I always had the exact
Speaker 4: same tour. So saw some little kid pictures of me
Speaker 4: and I sitting down, I'm like, I have the exact
Speaker 4: same body. Nothing got worse, nothing got better.
Speaker 3: That's lucky.
Speaker 4: Some hairs sprouted up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess you've got a couple here and there.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: The hip isn't the same.
Speaker 4: No, no, no, oh, I wish I had my kid hip.
Speaker 3: Oh, all small in the socket. I actually have to
Speaker 3: say though, One night I was lucky enough at the
Speaker 3: Washington DC improv I was middling for Margaret Show, and
Speaker 3: Mike Birbiglia was actually our opener that was from like
Speaker 3: a hometown, which was crazy. He reminded me of years later,
Speaker 3: and I was like, that was you so weird? But
Speaker 3: there was a bachelorette party that was right down in front,
Speaker 3: but I had the hotel room next to them, so
Speaker 3: I listened to them in my hotel room from like
Speaker 3: four o'clock on.
Speaker 1: I heard everything they said.
Speaker 3: They were out in the hallway, drinking, yelling at one
Speaker 3: of their moms, doing all this stuff. So I just
Speaker 3: when I got on stage like they were of course
Speaker 3: a handful, And then when I got on stage, I
Speaker 3: just started telling them about themselves and they were freaking out,
Speaker 3: and I like, weirdly, like fake psychic style shut them
Speaker 3: down and the lie because you're the girls from room
Speaker 3: four sixty three, and they were like and like went
Speaker 3: crazy and you.
Speaker 4: Wish you brought the hour dress, but it's okay because
Speaker 4: you borrowed gladyses. Didn't you actually know that?
Speaker 1: And I somehow got a hold of them.
Speaker 4: That sounds great. I wish I could eavesdrop on audiences
Speaker 4: before I performed for them, I know, right, that's kind
Speaker 4: of what what's his name? Did John? Oh it doesn't.
Speaker 4: He was like a clairvoont He had a show.
Speaker 3: Oh, yes, yes, John, that's right.
Speaker 4: Yes, not the politician. I'm sensing someone in here as
Speaker 4: a dad. I'm seeing a j name of John, a dad.
Speaker 4: There's the word dad and the word John.
Speaker 3: I have a dad named John. It's actually Jim.
Speaker 4: But okay, your handwriting was weird on the form that
Speaker 4: you filled out before.
Speaker 3: The wass your whoops. I actually saw a show when
Speaker 3: I was in Chicago for my terrible short stint in
Speaker 3: Chicago five years ago. We went to the Second City
Speaker 3: one night at their like main stage.
Speaker 4: Show, Dell Close Sharon Hallipurt's stage. They were the second sitting.
Speaker 3: But they were It was a great show with a
Speaker 3: great cast. It was amazing. I mean, those people earn
Speaker 3: their spots and the room is huge. I think it's
Speaker 3: like five hundred people. I mean it's crazy. Okay, So
Speaker 3: this guy comes out and he's doing I can't remember
Speaker 3: if he was like a TSA security guard. Uh. He
Speaker 3: was dressed up as like something and I can't remember
Speaker 3: specifically what it was. But he went out into the
Speaker 3: crowd and he started telling everybody about themselves, and so
Speaker 3: he was like, it was one of my favorite things
Speaker 3: I've ever seen. So he was just like, so you
Speaker 3: totally like Rick and this girl just screams at the
Speaker 3: top of her lungs. He goes, he goes, I don't
Speaker 3: think you should like Rick. I think he should totally
Speaker 3: break up with him. And he does this whole thing,
Speaker 3: and then he looks over and he's like, oh, and
Speaker 3: you with the and then the person He's like doing
Speaker 3: this whole interview whatever. And then at the end, so
Speaker 3: he does that to like five people in the most
Speaker 3: hilarious way, and then he ends it with this speech
Speaker 3: about how all the people are worried about their their
Speaker 3: online privacy. When they in public, they say more about
Speaker 3: themselves that if anybody's listening, they could get anything that
Speaker 3: they needed from them. And this what happened was this
Speaker 3: guy sits in the audience before the show starts and
Speaker 3: eavesdrops on tables of people talking loudly, remembers what they
Speaker 3: talk about, and then just like throws it in their
Speaker 3: face during the.
Speaker 4: Show and then admits it.
Speaker 3: Yes, tells them basically saying, don't be worried about cyber attacks,
Speaker 3: don't be worried about internet security and your privacy. Keep
Speaker 3: your mouth shut. How do I know I know where
Speaker 3: you live? Like he does. It was one of the
Speaker 3: most brilliant.
Speaker 1: Things I've ever seen.
Speaker 4: Wow.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was really really funny.
Speaker 4: And he was just a standard He was an area
Speaker 4: improv improv guy.
Speaker 3: But like sketch, you know, that's the those main stage shows.
Speaker 3: This was an all sketch show.
Speaker 5: Wow.
Speaker 1: It was really awesome.
Speaker 4: That is I mean, I want to do that sounds
Speaker 4: fun yeah right yeah.
Speaker 3: Well, and also because when people are in like that setting,
Speaker 3: they talk so loud.
Speaker 1: It drives me crazy. But they talk so loud, and
Speaker 1: they'll say.
Speaker 4: I think if you start talking, they're like, I was
Speaker 4: just talking about that. Oh you were that guy sitting
Speaker 4: I guess no one pays attention.
Speaker 1: No they don't.
Speaker 4: Well that's amazing. Yeah, speaking of him, I started in
Speaker 4: short form improv your freeze tag. You're let's get a
Speaker 4: occupation and a location, you know, Montana meteorologist, playboy mansion.
Speaker 3: What and you can't combine those two?
Speaker 4: What would happen? One time? I got a gay Irish
Speaker 4: weather man.
Speaker 3: What happened?
Speaker 4: Give us nailed it and nailed it?
Speaker 3: Give us a slice?
Speaker 4: Oh no, here, I have some yellow clouds. I don't know.
Speaker 4: I just did something like that, ha ha okay, but
Speaker 4: someone yelled at so I had to do it. It's
Speaker 4: like I don't want to, you know, I think I
Speaker 4: know who yelled at Colin Malloy. He's the lead singer
Speaker 4: of the December Well Well well yoused to live in town.
Speaker 4: You know. I do a little name dropping here and there.
Speaker 4: You know I do that on the podcast.
Speaker 1: Do you like to do that?
Speaker 3: Because you do? You say you don't want to do
Speaker 3: Hollywood gossip, but we always end up doing it.
Speaker 4: I name drop at the drop of a hat. I
Speaker 4: drop a name. I mean, if I drop a hat,
Speaker 4: I put a name in the hat like you're gonna
Speaker 4: pick it out, and then I drop the hat. You
Speaker 4: just throw that thing on the floor, pull the name out.
Speaker 4: But the woman that started the improv group, she's a
Speaker 4: woman now. Back then, I guess we could call her
Speaker 4: a girl. I was a boy. But we started this
Speaker 4: improv group in Missoula. Yeah, in different bars. We would
Speaker 4: do shows every week and made money. I made a
Speaker 4: living doing it.
Speaker 3: That's amazing.
Speaker 4: It's more consistent than now, I bet. But she lives
Speaker 4: in Cape Town, South Africa now and teaches improv and
Speaker 4: they're doing an improv festival and she asked me to go.
Speaker 4: But I but to South Africa, would my flight get covered,
Speaker 4: but they can't cover the flight, so I don't know
Speaker 4: by it. It would be interesting to go.
Speaker 3: It would cost you like three grand or something, wouldn't it.
Speaker 4: I looked today it was about a thousand.
Speaker 3: That's too much money.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know if I can afford to do that.
Speaker 4: And I told her I don't really do improv anymore.
Speaker 3: And that's where Chappy is, So you don't want to
Speaker 3: get involved in.
Speaker 4: I don't know what are they called dust du that
Speaker 4: they that Chappy movie? I had okay hopes for it.
Speaker 4: I like the other thing they made me.
Speaker 3: Too, with nine.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was great.
Speaker 3: That's amazing.
Speaker 4: These guys. They made this underbudget movie because they're they're
Speaker 4: they're both like special effects wizards.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: And then they acted in it and they just made
Speaker 4: it themselves, I guess in front of a green screen.
Speaker 4: But that second movie Chappy with that, who's that group?
Speaker 4: They look like skinhead Diant award diant word no no
Speaker 4: to their acting.
Speaker 3: Do you know that they I didn't see Chappie, but
Speaker 3: I like to reference it because you know, it's a
Speaker 3: funny word.
Speaker 4: It was difficult to watch rough stuff times, yes, just
Speaker 4: the comedy of it. And they're act and Diane Forward.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Diane Ward was on Letterman one night, an episode
Speaker 3: I was watching and when they were done singing their
Speaker 3: very heavy like edium kind of like scary, weird techno song. Yeah,
Speaker 3: the audience.
Speaker 1: Burst out laughing, oh wow, like.
Speaker 3: Because it was likely like you oh, like the chorus
Speaker 3: was her talking like a tiny elf. And when when
Speaker 3: it finally was like, the audience.
Speaker 4: Was like, and what did they do?
Speaker 3: They just they just kind of stood there and then
Speaker 3: there was like, you know, this mattery of applause.
Speaker 1: It was it made me laugh so hard.
Speaker 4: Wow. I yeah, I don't get that. I think I
Speaker 4: saw a video and I thought that maybe they were
Speaker 4: just doing characters or unknown poor trashy folks, and I'm like, well,
Speaker 4: I can I like them, yes, on YouTube or something.
Speaker 4: But the fact that they became celebrities.
Speaker 1: I mean I didn't.
Speaker 3: I think Hollywood always, if you are a woman who's
Speaker 3: like five feet tall and looks like you could right
Speaker 3: now without any special effects makeup, play an elf, Hollywood
Speaker 3: is going to rally around you in every way they
Speaker 3: possibly can.
Speaker 4: We're looking for a dark crystal type.
Speaker 1: Yeah, always with that's willing to.
Speaker 4: Do nude just kind of a short naked labyrinth.
Speaker 3: Girl with no irises or pupils separate. Like maybe just
Speaker 3: one big color would be great.
Speaker 4: Yeah, just black corneas and short bangs, and kind of
Speaker 4: like a female David Bowie.
Speaker 3: Yeah, kind of like flared nostrils, permanently flared nostrils would
Speaker 3: be good.
Speaker 1: And of course big rabbit teeth.
Speaker 4: Oh god, gotta have those nice carrot trumpers.
Speaker 3: The two long front ones. I think that's really that's
Speaker 3: really where I all down in the beauty department is
Speaker 3: I have these very shortened Irish teeth, and if these
Speaker 3: two front ones are just like just a half an
Speaker 3: inch longer.
Speaker 4: Do people want long front too front teeth?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: What is long in the tooth? Me in that phrase old? Yes,
Speaker 4: but what is it there?
Speaker 3: It's got to be a reason, because your teeth grow
Speaker 3: as you grow old. It's like your teeth are growing
Speaker 3: out of your head. So it's like saying you your
Speaker 3: teeth have come out as far as they possibly can.
Speaker 4: My teeth continue to grow like my ears.
Speaker 3: Well no, no, I mean they're like so your baby
Speaker 3: teeth when they go there's a tooth waiting up there
Speaker 3: and it slowly comes out and it's like as if
Speaker 3: and maybe this was like old wives tail style. Sure,
Speaker 3: as if there's a whole bunch of tooth and it
Speaker 3: just comes out like that. It maybe was the thought
Speaker 3: behind it.
Speaker 4: It's kind of a horrifying thought that I don't enjoy.
Speaker 1: Want to hear another one.
Speaker 3: Yeah, babies, oh God, have all these teeth stacked up
Speaker 3: behind like almost like a plate. And that that's why
Speaker 3: it's very hard actually, I mean, obviously babies are very.
Speaker 4: Fragile, multiple teeth like a shark.
Speaker 3: Yes, so their baby teeth come out and then your
Speaker 3: little teeth and whatever. But they have like these. You
Speaker 3: have to see a picture of it. Someone showed me.
Speaker 3: It's not like ten or whatever. But it's like their
Speaker 3: teeth are stacked up in their face so that if
Speaker 3: anything hits them in the face, it won't hurt them,
Speaker 3: like it won't get to the brain. Wow, isn't that crazy?
Speaker 4: So does that mean these other like if their baby
Speaker 4: tooth falls out, there is there a second baby tooth? Sometimes?
Speaker 4: Is that a thing that's happened.
Speaker 1: I don't think so.
Speaker 3: I someone you have to see the picture of it,
Speaker 3: because maybe they stack in a way where like these
Speaker 3: ones are up here, but then they go back there.
Speaker 3: I'm not sure.
Speaker 4: They just turn to your skull.
Speaker 1: It's I might be lying.
Speaker 4: No, I think I think you're right. I think I've
Speaker 4: seen in like a in a health illustration, multiple stacked
Speaker 4: up teeth, and then I close the book and look
Speaker 4: away because that class because it makes me horrified.
Speaker 3: Yes, wait, let me see uh.
Speaker 4: Baby teeth, baby teeth stacking stocking.
Speaker 1: No, this is gonna bring me to a terrifying itsyage.
Speaker 4: You're gonna go it's just gonna be a scene from
Speaker 4: uh human centipede.
Speaker 3: Stacked in face.
Speaker 4: Oh no, you're gonna the worst thing ever is gonna
Speaker 4: pop up. Baby baby fell off a bike. You're gonna
Speaker 4: see a horrible image.
Speaker 3: It's gonna be like a tooth coming out the side
Speaker 3: of a chain.
Speaker 4: If you if that's what you pull up, don't show
Speaker 4: it to me. I'll do show it to me.
Speaker 3: Oh it's I don't know any wi fi.
Speaker 4: I feel like that's happened before. I think that there's
Speaker 4: been in stories about a baby losing a baby tooth
Speaker 4: and getting a second baby tooth, not the permanent one,
Speaker 4: but just another baby tooth. Yeah, if it's early.
Speaker 3: Enough, I guess overall, the idea is that babies are
Speaker 3: engineered to be self protected basically, so they have like, uh,
Speaker 3: you know, oh there's all things comedy. What am I
Speaker 3: doing this for?
Speaker 1: He gives a fuck.
Speaker 4: Somebody looking up at home? Well, then that's what's that
Speaker 4: soft spot on the head that can't be for their
Speaker 4: own good? Well vulnerable.
Speaker 3: Maybe it is for their own good because if their
Speaker 3: head gets hit and the brain swells, there's a place
Speaker 3: for it to go.
Speaker 4: Oh wow, right back down and then eventually I think
Speaker 4: that's called a palette or something that seals up.
Speaker 3: Maybe.
Speaker 4: Oh, it's amazing this baby business.
Speaker 3: I held a baby at work the other day, make
Speaker 3: you feel I don't.
Speaker 1: Want It's not like sad.
Speaker 4: I just really babies are pretty cool.
Speaker 1: They're pretty cool.
Speaker 3: And my boss's baby is she's a second girl, So
Speaker 3: she's the chillest baby of all time because all she's
Speaker 3: doing is trying to see where her sister is and
Speaker 3: what's going.
Speaker 4: On with chill mellow babies.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and she's just having a good time. And when
Speaker 3: you look at her, her eyes go kind of wide
Speaker 3: and she'll like wave at you. It's very cute, but
Speaker 3: she you know, Stephanie Askehita.
Speaker 4: Sure, of course it's her baby.
Speaker 3: She is married to my boss.
Speaker 4: Oh I've slept on their couch.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, Goldie, he's the best.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah.
Speaker 3: So this is their baby, this is their second daughter,
Speaker 3: and she is like you put her right there, and
Speaker 3: it's like it makes me feel like I've had nine
Speaker 3: babies of my own. Like she's one of those kind
Speaker 3: of babies doing she's doing her part because normally babies
Speaker 3: earl weird and make me feel like I don't know
Speaker 3: what I'm doing.
Speaker 4: Wear me.
Speaker 1: Babies and they love the rain.
Speaker 4: I know, and it's you know, a lot of times
Speaker 4: you don't want a baby on an airplane, But when
Speaker 4: a baby just grabs your finger, I'm like, their whole
Speaker 4: hand goes around your finger. That's pretty cool. I'd like
Speaker 4: a baby just for a little while.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Can I just have them for a few after a baby,
Speaker 4: that's what it's called. I thought I was making up
Speaker 4: a job. Can I just watch it just for an afternoon?
Speaker 4: And I just want to hang out with a baby.
Speaker 4: I wish there's something for like ten dollars an hour. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I know, I'm I'm just blurting things that don't exist
Speaker 4: and I'd like to sit while doing it.
Speaker 1: My thing is that I get bored.
Speaker 3: I still want to do what I want to do,
Speaker 3: so like there'll be like some really quality time like
Speaker 3: this is how I used to hang out with my
Speaker 3: niece Nora, where we'd be like playing a great game.
Speaker 3: We play Sorry seven times in a row, and I'd
Speaker 3: be like, I don't I need to look at my.
Speaker 4: Phone and you just get up and leave the building.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go to Starbucks for a while.
Speaker 4: You're cool on that blanket, right? You just do you want?
Speaker 4: Do you need to be outside? You want dig and stuff?
Speaker 1: What do you want to do?
Speaker 3: Okay, get out there, buddy.
Speaker 4: It's my dog. It's used once, but here's a bone.
Speaker 3: There's still some marrow in there for you.
Speaker 4: Get get at it. Baby. Yeah, I like. I like,
Speaker 4: I'm more interested in having a baby than at this
Speaker 4: point being a married person. Isn't that backwards? It is?
Speaker 4: What if that's a sitcom?
Speaker 5: What are you?
Speaker 4: I adopt a baby as a single dad? Stock broker?
Speaker 4: I don't there? What do you say You're going to
Speaker 4: be the stock broke? It's like I'm pitching sure, I'm
Speaker 4: a busy dad and I'm Okay, what if it's a
Speaker 4: baby I see is being abused and I kidnapped. I
Speaker 4: kidnapped to raise No, it's a comedy and the funny kid,
Speaker 4: and I'm funny in it.
Speaker 3: We can't have kidnapping, kidnap abuse.
Speaker 4: It's I'm getting the kid away from the bad parent.
Speaker 4: So everyone's on my side. Technically it's scheduled.
Speaker 1: They don't even want to go to that sid eye bond.
Speaker 4: I pay for his college. Then when he's when he's
Speaker 4: twenty one, I bring him back to his original parents
Speaker 4: and say, look at it, what a good job I did.
Speaker 4: And he's wearing a suit and he's like, hello mother,
Speaker 4: Hello father. I'm ready to be in your lives again.
Speaker 4: Goodbye second Dad, and we shake hands. I'm gone.
Speaker 3: And this series is called Goodbye Second Dad. Yes, because
Speaker 3: it starts at that moment where you then have the life,
Speaker 3: having already raised it.
Speaker 4: That's where the show starts. Everything is in flashbacks. The
Speaker 4: show starts with goodbye second Dad. What could that possibly mean? Well,
Speaker 4: let me tell you. Blurred edges. We go back. I'm
Speaker 4: on a bus, lady, child's getting slept in the face.
Speaker 4: I'm like, this ain't here, baby, I got to do.
Speaker 3: Something about this. Here's the thing. I like all of it,
Speaker 3: except you don't strike me as a stockbroker. I feel
Speaker 3: like those people are very intense type A. I'm an
Speaker 3: art serious.
Speaker 4: I'm a welder artist.
Speaker 1: You're a welder that I like.
Speaker 4: Ten thousand dollars a month apartment, but I'm a struggling
Speaker 4: welder art welder artist, Yes, sculptor.
Speaker 1: Great some of your arts in the apartment.
Speaker 4: He's wearing overalls. The baby has a great time. Yes,
Speaker 4: like you can do whatever you want. This guy lives
Speaker 4: like a kid.
Speaker 3: Who else is in this world? Do you have a
Speaker 3: mailman that you're friends with.
Speaker 4: There's a door guy, a door guy who sometimes baby sits.
Speaker 3: But you kidnapped this baby to be with it. Why
Speaker 3: why do you need a baby art show?
Speaker 4: I have museum shows. I have things to do, dates
Speaker 4: and dating.
Speaker 1: Oh nighttime, yeah, night the doorman.
Speaker 3: But the door man, so he gets off work and
Speaker 3: then starts babysitting, has two jobs.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but he loves it.
Speaker 3: He likes the kid too, but you pay him.
Speaker 4: The door guy ends up being its third dad.
Speaker 3: The door guy takes the baby away from you because
Speaker 3: you all you do is party.
Speaker 4: Yeah, the door guys tries to find the original parents. Yeah,
Speaker 4: and then he falls in love with the kid he
Speaker 4: starts raising him.
Speaker 3: Yes, Yeah, and it's this show is called Hello Third Dad,
Speaker 3: My three Dads. We're gonna include the abusive first at.
Speaker 4: Three Dads and a baby Tarnetree. It's already a thing,
Speaker 4: all the baby.
Speaker 3: The ideas are taking and bug.
Speaker 1: Good listen. I was very surly at the beginning of
Speaker 1: this podcast.
Speaker 4: I'm sorry before it started. Well, I think that I
Speaker 4: was being.
Speaker 3: I felt guilty because we were supposed to have Matt
Speaker 3: McCarthy on and I forgot to tell him what time
Speaker 3: it was, and he's such a good guest, and I
Speaker 3: felt terrible.
Speaker 1: And it's okay.
Speaker 3: I don't when I don't eat, I don't. The last
Speaker 3: time I ate was twelve thirty. This is a really
Speaker 3: long it's a wide window and I've realized it. All
Speaker 3: my emotional problems start around around seven fifteen.
Speaker 4: Karen, I'm the same way I've been. I get grumpy
Speaker 4: when I don't eat.
Speaker 3: It's not good.
Speaker 4: It's been a thing in my life.
Speaker 3: Yeah, mean mine too.
Speaker 4: And now I got I mean not to talk shop,
Speaker 4: but that's hip. I'm like, I find him short with
Speaker 4: people because my dies your hip And.
Speaker 3: Do you ever take like advilla or anything for that hip?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Yeah, every day. Oh okay, yeah, but it's getting
Speaker 4: to the point where advilt just one cut it.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: So I don't want to become one of these people
Speaker 4: that gets into rush limba drugs. That's a downward spiry.
Speaker 3: I do want to become one of those people give
Speaker 3: me pills that no one can tell what I'm doing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I'm off.
Speaker 4: I'll get it fixed and then I'll be less grumpy.
Speaker 3: Well yeah, I don't know what my solution is, but
Speaker 3: when you get it fixed, you're going to get to
Speaker 3: be on rush limbo pills. You're justified.
Speaker 4: I had the limbo pill with an oxy cootone. I
Speaker 4: had some of that when I got my tonsils out.
Speaker 4: I did not like how they don't make you They
Speaker 4: don't get rid of pain necessarily because they'll sit there
Speaker 4: and I'm like, I'm still in pain. They make you
Speaker 4: not care, which is a weird.
Speaker 3: I don't like, very strange.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's kind of like drug drugs like heroin nursome.
Speaker 4: I don't like the narcotic feel of it's not killing
Speaker 4: the pain, it's making you be in a state of
Speaker 4: mime where you don't really care about anything, and that
Speaker 4: I don't like losing control that way. I remember taking
Speaker 4: this stuff. It made me feel a little better, but
Speaker 4: I was restless and almost panicked because I'm like, why
Speaker 4: I don't I'm not in reality, I don't like it. Yeah,
Speaker 4: but that's what booze does. And I think booze is
Speaker 4: pretty sweet.
Speaker 3: But booze slips you in nice and you care. You
Speaker 3: maybe even care too much, but like when you're in booze,
Speaker 3: you're still connected to your self and your feelings. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: because that might makes me think the first time I
Speaker 3: took xanax, and I have you taken xanax, it's the
Speaker 3: same thing, or all of a sudden I didn't care
Speaker 3: about anything at all, and it was the fucking weirdest.
Speaker 3: And I mean, I've lived my life as an absolute lunatic,
Speaker 3: hysteric most of the time, who's just barely hanging on
Speaker 3: to take a Sanix and have all that tape recorder
Speaker 3: in my head shut off and just like stand on
Speaker 3: a porch and stare. I remember part somewhere in my
Speaker 3: brain something went, don't ever do this again.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you will be under a bridge so quickly.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't. Yeah, I don't like that. I think
Speaker 4: it scares me. I don't like how it makes me
Speaker 4: feel well.
Speaker 3: And also we're supposed to have motions, like we're supposed
Speaker 3: to have feelings. Yeah it's good. Yeah, it's good for you.
Speaker 3: It's what human beings are like. Yep, I just when
Speaker 3: my blucher gets low, I can't really bitchy.
Speaker 4: That's how I'm the same way, man, I really am okay,
Speaker 4: specifically with the hunger thing. Yes, I like I have
Speaker 4: to eat that like That's how I always put My
Speaker 4: dad said when I was a baby, I just want
Speaker 4: I ate so much, and I would be I'd furiously
Speaker 4: just grab it food and shove it in my mouth,
Speaker 4: and then I was happy. That's always how I've been.
Speaker 1: I think that's always, never.
Speaker 4: Ever eating problem or anything. I think I as a kid,
Speaker 4: I've always eaten like someone's gonna take it away at
Speaker 4: any minute. I have my arm curled around the plate
Speaker 4: and I'm hunched over and I mumble when my brow
Speaker 4: is furrowed. It's very hard to eat the date on
Speaker 4: a date. That's a bad idea to eat with me.
Speaker 4: I just look like to get a angry cave man.
Speaker 3: You don't become self conscious and like straighten up. And
Speaker 3: I was just thinking about the first date that I
Speaker 3: went on after my divorce was such a goddamn mistake.
Speaker 4: Spaghetti I got.
Speaker 3: I ordered two plates of spaghetti. Now, I was so
Speaker 3: nervous and self conscious and I had no I was
Speaker 3: not ready and anyway, but somebody asked me who I
Speaker 3: really liked, and so I was like, I have to
Speaker 3: do this, I have to start doing this again. It
Speaker 3: was I was out of my mind. I was laughing
Speaker 3: about it driving to work this morning. Yeah, because there's
Speaker 3: a shirt. At the time, I'd grown out of it.
Speaker 3: I'd gained so much weight that I'd grown out of it.
Speaker 3: And I remember putting it on to go on this
Speaker 3: date and just being like, this is a mistake, Like,
Speaker 3: don't wear this shirt. Don't go on this date.
Speaker 4: I was so that eating shirt. I haven't eating shirt.
Speaker 3: No, I do too, but no, it was it had
Speaker 3: been my cute shirt and I couldn't. It was. I
Speaker 3: was in denial of the fact that it was no
Speaker 3: longer my cue shirt. And it had horizontal stripes, which
Speaker 3: was bad, Like that's that's for skinny girls. Yeah, so
Speaker 3: I was on the state and it was like anything
Speaker 3: this guy said.
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't like that.
Speaker 3: Every single thing was like my cute Like I thought
Speaker 3: it was kind of interesting and cute was to just
Speaker 3: negate and like kind of make a face and everything.
Speaker 3: And I was just like thinking about that this morning,
Speaker 3: like I wonder if I should send that person a card? Oh,
Speaker 3: like you really tried and that was what must have
Speaker 3: that have been? Like like what a goddamn monster.
Speaker 4: Like being It's like it was like bad improv.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like I'm as the improv partner and I'm just
Speaker 3: have my arms crossing and that's not where we're gonna
Speaker 3: have our occupation.
Speaker 4: Good to see you, officer. I'm not a cop.
Speaker 3: No, oh, get away from my car. We're in a theater. Oh,
Speaker 3: it's so awful. The best I'm not sure why don't
Speaker 3: do that story? Oh, I guess it's just.
Speaker 4: The well who wears vertical stripes? Basketball officials? Yes, that's
Speaker 4: why they always look so good.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're all slim people at the foot locker own.
Speaker 4: Who else that's it? I mean the same shirt. There
Speaker 4: is no one else that wears vertical stripes.
Speaker 3: Soccer players like fans of soccer.
Speaker 4: I suppose rugby and soccer. Sure that's it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's definitely.
Speaker 4: Popcorn man, candy man, that's right, the candy man. They
Speaker 4: can wear verticals. The candy man can wear verd of stripes.
Speaker 4: Who can wear some straight stripes?
Speaker 3: Sprinkle them with goose?
Speaker 4: Is that meat up with them in my van? Is
Speaker 4: room enough for two? The candy man.
Speaker 1: Tan molest you?
Speaker 4: Oh no, why?
Speaker 3: I just like his shirt?
Speaker 4: Why are we leaving to the outskirts of town?
Speaker 3: Both hands out the window.
Speaker 4: Sure, I like that.
Speaker 3: Do you know what you're gonna do for our business
Speaker 3: class to night?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 4: What? Probably just do my jokes? No, I know some
Speaker 4: quick one hitters. Oh what do you don't mean?
Speaker 3: I think I was a serious blood triggersh I do
Speaker 3: I do that to people? I mean, do you know
Speaker 3: which jokes and then the order?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 4: No, I never know.
Speaker 3: I can't do the same jokes I've been doing. I'm
Speaker 3: so sick of my material.
Speaker 4: I get sick of it when I haven't done it
Speaker 4: for a while. But if I'm like times I've worked
Speaker 4: two weeks in a row saying the same, it's kind
Speaker 4: of fine. Ways to make it fun, Yeah, I guess
Speaker 4: that's the key. Yeah, you have to. I remember when
Speaker 4: I first started doing stand up. I'm like, oh, I'm
Speaker 4: never gonna repeat myself. I can't believe these comics. I
Speaker 4: heard that guy say that last week. I didn't get
Speaker 4: it yet. Yeah, So I just would talk and make
Speaker 4: stuff up, right. I tried to make a career of it,
Speaker 4: but I don't think I like it anymore.
Speaker 3: I go, it's so late now for us.
Speaker 4: To, I know, to change the way I do things.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and just a whole career change.
Speaker 4: It'd be nice to have a nice coach. Like Jokes
Speaker 4: told verbatim, they work every time they're in an order
Speaker 4: that tells a story. But I don't do that well.
Speaker 1: And also because that has nothing to do with you.
Speaker 1: That's not your style.
Speaker 4: Style.
Speaker 3: You grab you grab at food.
Speaker 4: I watched it, and I don't at times I don't
Speaker 4: in my meetings with him. I haven't really enjoyed David
Speaker 4: Krass the person, but I've watched his new special and
Speaker 4: it was so it was mostly about gun control, and
Speaker 4: it was really good. It's like, man, he's.
Speaker 3: A great writer.
Speaker 4: He's real good.
Speaker 1: He's a great writer.
Speaker 4: He's a great He had some silly jokes in there.
Speaker 3: He that's the thing. He knows exactly the balance because
Speaker 3: he had this joke. But I mean I saw him
Speaker 3: probably six years ago more. He did his set at
Speaker 3: Largo one night and he goes, he was talking about
Speaker 3: how when the economy collapsed, so was two thousand and
Speaker 3: seven or eight, Yeah, and he was like, there are
Speaker 3: millionaires that find out they lost everything and they kill themselves.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because and he's like, why.
Speaker 3: Would you do that? Like, like you just can't imagine
Speaker 3: a life of not being a millionaire or a billionaire man.
Speaker 1: He was like, billionaires are killing themselves.
Speaker 6: And he goes, he just hold the pretends to hold
Speaker 6: up a square and then goes, this isn't very good,
Speaker 6: butter and I honestly been laughing about that joke for
Speaker 6: like six years straight.
Speaker 1: Great joke, it's so good.
Speaker 4: Yeah, he made me. I laughed hard, and the audience
Speaker 4: it was nerd. They showed people leaving there was because
Speaker 4: he was talking to blue Lives, murder and stuff. He
Speaker 4: said a bunch of oh shit, yeah he was. I mean,
Speaker 4: he was saying crazy stuff that had scared me so
Speaker 4: much to think about saying. So I was like, wow,
Speaker 4: that's I think that. Watching that made me think more
Speaker 4: about my meaningless jokes.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you don't.
Speaker 4: I do take a stance with circumcision. No one wants
Speaker 4: I do during my act. I'm like, that's I don't
Speaker 4: think it's good.
Speaker 3: I know you really fight it. You must rail it.
Speaker 4: I'm not even a baby maker.
Speaker 3: That's right.
Speaker 1: It's the concept you don't like.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't like it. You don't come my doctor
Speaker 4: signed my circumcision. There's a perfect ass. Is that typewriter?
Speaker 4: I don't know there is an ass? There's an ass.
Speaker 4: I don't know if he signed it.
Speaker 1: Like Zoro, doctor Steve, that asshole.
Speaker 4: Tiny little brand ow.
Speaker 3: That's the doctor's voice, not the baby's voice.
Speaker 4: You baby dot.
Speaker 3: You can The one doctor that shouldn't be doing circumcision
Speaker 3: is a baby doctor.
Speaker 4: You could barely hold that rattle. Don't give him a scalpel.
Speaker 4: Here we go, Yeah.
Speaker 3: Don't bring it over here. Your comedy doesn't compare to
Speaker 3: anybody else's. You can't compare yourself because you are so
Speaker 3: different than almost every comedian.
Speaker 1: Well, well, thanks, it's true.
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, I guess it is.
Speaker 1: No, it's the best.
Speaker 3: Are you kidding me? There's people go to any open mic.
Speaker 3: Every single schlove that's standing up there is exactly like
Speaker 3: the one that got on before. You have you have
Speaker 3: created an act that is you, but it is also
Speaker 3: presentational comedy performance.
Speaker 4: But sometimes there thank you. There's also a tone in
Speaker 4: it is that I'm ill prepared or lacking confidence, which
Speaker 4: in front of on the road or something, it doesn't work.
Speaker 4: They see that and they're like, oh, he doesn't even
Speaker 4: he can't even pronounce some of these words.
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 1: I hate that so much.
Speaker 4: It's like, no, it's my things, my YouTube comments on
Speaker 4: my con inerts, like this guy messed up four times
Speaker 4: and then he did on purpose. Idiots, you're an idiot,
Speaker 4: and then it goes racial and then I stop reading.
Speaker 3: Never read.
Speaker 4: I was like commenting back on some of them. No,
Speaker 4: it's like, oh thanks a lot, guys, Oh sorry, dude,
Speaker 4: Like some of them would apologize and my job well done.
Speaker 4: That was a good three hours two in the morning spent.
Speaker 3: That's permanently seared into your brain.
Speaker 4: Got to have the approval of strangers. It's so strange.
Speaker 3: But the place to get it is not the YouTube comments. No,
Speaker 3: it is.
Speaker 4: Not maybe a family meal with my family. There's people
Speaker 4: that I should want their approval.
Speaker 3: Ask your family to bring strangers to the next family meal.
Speaker 3: That's how you're going to bridge that distance. Also tonight
Speaker 3: where we're going to have a show and I don't
Speaker 3: care how many people show up, but I mean it
Speaker 3: doesn't And if they show up and there's a guy
Speaker 3: who work with Amos who's great, and he came to
Speaker 3: our last one and is it famous? Yes, tiny cookies,
Speaker 3: he's gonna say. And he told me, he's like, we're
Speaker 3: gonna come again. He brought his girlfriend last time, and uh,
Speaker 3: I said, please be as loud as you can, because look,
Speaker 3: the last show, the audience was like pin drop silent,
Speaker 3: you were gone.
Speaker 4: They were so quiet, weird. Yeah, I wonder what because
Speaker 4: they're coming again? Is that why you don't want to
Speaker 4: do your jokes? If one person I don't think I
Speaker 4: did a set last time. There's times where you have
Speaker 4: two shows and someone sticks around one person and I'll
Speaker 4: try to do a whole new act just because of
Speaker 4: that one person, and it's not nearly as good because
Speaker 4: I did my good jokes. I was like, well, I
Speaker 4: don't want that person to hear anything they've heard before,
Speaker 4: so let me tabotage the whole concert.
Speaker 3: It's funny. I think that's left over nineties like mentality
Speaker 3: because I had the same thing we're repeating. I would
Speaker 3: write the worst shit in the world, but it was
Speaker 3: just because I couldn't repeat it.
Speaker 4: Was like, and it's fun to say new stuff.
Speaker 3: Im mortal sin it is, and it's fun to make
Speaker 3: up this and said that you have to say new
Speaker 3: stuff or you will be the worst.
Speaker 1: Right, that's a.
Speaker 3: Good mentality, I think for a comedian. Yeah, because when
Speaker 3: I am in my I don't care, and I'll do
Speaker 3: the same thing over and over. It is deadly.
Speaker 4: I hate it.
Speaker 3: I can tell other people don't like it. There's no
Speaker 3: reason for me to be doing it.
Speaker 4: Because of the way you're doing it. I can tell
Speaker 4: you she's not having fun.
Speaker 3: Yeah, not having fun. You're not connected, you're not actually
Speaker 3: trying to express anything like they can smell that, even
Speaker 3: if they don't know exactly what I am you.
Speaker 4: I don't hate you, the audience. I hate my words,
Speaker 4: and I'm saying them again. Don't get me wrong. This
Speaker 4: isn't about you.
Speaker 3: Stop holding up that mirror and maybe I'll stop attacking you,
Speaker 3: is what I like to say. I actually did a set.
Speaker 4: Though, Oh the mirrors of you.
Speaker 3: That's right.
Speaker 1: I have to look at my own they're just holding
Speaker 1: it up.
Speaker 3: Uh. The Walsh.
Speaker 4: Matt and Chris, Chris, Chris and the Walsh brothers. Yes, Chris.
Speaker 3: And then it's Chris's show. Yes, Matt Walsh is the
Speaker 3: actor that's on Yes, Yes, who is amazing and I
Speaker 3: love Yes.
Speaker 1: But it was Chris's show.
Speaker 3: At the Steve Alln Theater and I had all my
Speaker 3: jokes on a notebook and then I just it was like,
Speaker 3: there weren't that many people there, and I was just like,
Speaker 3: what is the point of you even doing comedy If
Speaker 3: you're just going to read these same jokes off? What
Speaker 3: is the point? So then I didn't look at my
Speaker 3: book at all and I was just rambling. And at
Speaker 3: the end, even though it did feel kind of embarrassing
Speaker 3: and I didn't kill like I always have to or whatever,
Speaker 3: but at the end, I was like, I'm glad that's
Speaker 3: what I did.
Speaker 1: Instead of doing well with.
Speaker 3: Things that are like that's just like ringing the same
Speaker 3: bell over and over or something.
Speaker 4: I don't know, sometimes it's fun to just take them
Speaker 4: and have it be topic bag. I'm going to have
Speaker 4: all I'm going to do all my jokes about food
Speaker 4: or whatever. Pull a real gap again. David Walsh.
Speaker 3: That's his brother David.
Speaker 4: Yeah, he left town. So this waltsh brothers And now
Speaker 4: there's just Chris.
Speaker 3: David like went with his family. Yeah, took that he
Speaker 3: had a baby, didn't.
Speaker 4: He had a baby, took the baby with him. He
Speaker 4: didn't leave it with someone like me who was an
Speaker 4: eligible part time.
Speaker 3: Dad, just a welder looking for a baby, just.
Speaker 4: Looking for inspiration. Everything about coming.
Speaker 3: Up your sitcom is suspicious and seems legally dangerous.
Speaker 4: You're being a TV executive right now.
Speaker 3: No, I would say, right now, I'm being a concerned
Speaker 3: Midwestern mother. Okay, this feels dangerous.
Speaker 4: I'd say, well, it's just it's riding that line. You know.
Speaker 4: Is kidnapping always bad? Right, here's an example of it
Speaker 4: being a good thing for a kid. And get closer.
Speaker 3: Is child abuse always upsetting?
Speaker 4: Or could we use left on my porch by gypsies?
Speaker 3: There we go be happy, but then we leave the
Speaker 3: gypsies in right because they're hot right now? Have you
Speaker 3: seen my big fat gypsy.
Speaker 4: Wedding diante word, Yeah, gypsies, they're the whole new thing.
Speaker 1: Are they gypsies?
Speaker 4: Is there a big fat gypsy wedding? Yeah, there is
Speaker 4: a show where I saw where they were, Like it
Speaker 4: was surprising. I didn't know. And gypsy is a derogatory
Speaker 4: where you're not supposed to say that, right, It's like
Speaker 4: calling someone an eskimo?
Speaker 3: Is that bad?
Speaker 4: The traveling group? It's a gypsy? I think gypsy. I
Speaker 4: think it's like a bad word. No, it is.
Speaker 3: They'd like to know in the name of this TV show.
Speaker 4: Well, they probably got got named by an executive, some racest.
Speaker 4: But it's so funny that it's they get married early.
Speaker 4: They're always tanning and stuff. Yes, in that big.
Speaker 3: Big earrings, big necklaces. They all look.
Speaker 4: All stolen, they don't. They steal everything?
Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, like these ones live in like Alabama or whatever.
Speaker 3: They have a house and kids and big s u.
Speaker 4: Money, bad money. Didn't they have the collection of money?
Speaker 7: They have gorgeous barbecues they always having stolen. They've stolen
Speaker 7: the money and the barbecuer. We're going to get strangled
Speaker 7: by gypsies.
Speaker 4: Gypsies are coming, and the jingling and jangling of their
Speaker 4: tooth necklace. I can hear you come and gypsy.
Speaker 3: You're thinking of you're thinking of a witch doctor.
Speaker 4: Oh I saw the witch doctor and this is what
Speaker 4: he said.
Speaker 3: What did he say? Yes?
Speaker 4: Oh, well a lot of ingang Uh yeah, I guess
Speaker 4: I'm confusing gypsy a voodoo. I'm thinking of voodoo. No,
Speaker 4: this whole time, I've been thinking about these voodoo voodoo tribes. Well,
Speaker 4: they have the teeth necklace, and that is true. They
Speaker 4: don't have the ear rings though, and they ain't getting.
Speaker 3: Married why not?
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's they're always playing with dolls, voodoo dolls. You
Speaker 4: know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: I'm just trying to leave you in some silence for
Speaker 3: a while.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, wow, looks like we're coming up on the hour?
Speaker 1: Are we really?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: I'm fast, We're life fucking we are talking machines.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we really are. Yeah, And we sure do enjoy ourselves.
Speaker 4: And if there are lulls, hey, you know what. You
Speaker 4: know what I've found out from half a dozen people
Speaker 4: on Twitter, they enjoy us too.
Speaker 1: They enjoy the lulls, the joys.
Speaker 3: That's that's the key.
Speaker 4: A lot of people love all lulls, but pregnant pauses
Speaker 4: it's the key to it. Like tig Todd Berry, this
Speaker 4: podcast where we promise pauses, yeah, you and they're funny.
Speaker 4: I used to talk a mile a minute. I thought
Speaker 4: you had to fill every moment with words. I bet
Speaker 4: and I watched Tig and I'm like, wow, she uses
Speaker 4: silence and gets uh during jokes and it gets it
Speaker 4: was It was important for me to discover.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, it's a sign of confidence.
Speaker 4: It's timing. It's timing means you can be slow too.
Speaker 4: I think I always thought timing was like you gotta
Speaker 4: fill all the time.
Speaker 3: With words and really ding the last word elbow out.
Speaker 4: That's why I do. I go and then I wink
Speaker 4: and I do to kind of get a little of
Speaker 4: this guy thumbed to the side always yeah, there's no
Speaker 4: one there.
Speaker 3: It's just the invisible guy on stage with you, my
Speaker 3: idea guy, this guy over here. Am I right?
Speaker 4: Oh that's fun though.
Speaker 3: What's our parting thought? Be well, you miss the car.
Speaker 4: Sometimes I missed the idea of what we had in
Speaker 4: the beginning. I went to the airport and I was
Speaker 4: just talking to the uber driver and he said, it's
Speaker 4: so interesting here to watch all these people coming and going.
Speaker 4: You don't know where they're going, what their story is,
Speaker 4: and I'm like, I had a podcast where I told
Speaker 4: him about He's like, I thought about doing that?
Speaker 3: Oh did he?
Speaker 4: Yeah? He was like he probably is. Now I'm like,
Speaker 4: do it. Go ahead and do it also. But it
Speaker 4: was horrible to be at the airport. It always was.
Speaker 4: It brought me, you know, I wasn't comedically filled with grief.
Speaker 4: It was hard to work straight. Neither of us look
Speaker 4: forward to it.
Speaker 3: It sucks.
Speaker 4: Someone was going to die.
Speaker 3: It sucked, but it was The concept was it was
Speaker 3: a fun thing to act out.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 1: And it kept topics rolling by us, so like.
Speaker 4: Literal or we were rolling by the welling.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 4: But I don't know.
Speaker 3: There's something about a studio like us doing it in
Speaker 3: the studio that I enjoy equally in a different way.
Speaker 4: And I think that the subject matter is better and
Speaker 4: we feel professionally feel like, you know, I'm following it.
Speaker 4: My dad was a DJ. You know that's right, radio guy?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you inherited this.
Speaker 4: This feels professional. Yeah, this is what's all unprofessional? Being
Speaker 4: in an eight han accord almost killing people not professional?
Speaker 4: To kill your guests?
Speaker 1: Wait, is yours is an No eight too?
Speaker 4: I haven't no, Wait, I mean I'm just on the
Speaker 4: heels of saying we're professionals. Karen Burp's into the mic.
Speaker 3: I just thought it would be a nice bookend.
Speaker 4: I mean, what is this, Howard Stern? Yeah, you just
Speaker 4: decide that from then on, this is what we're gonna down,
Speaker 4: Howard Stern. Now, thank you for listening to Howard Stern's
Speaker 4: comedy Hour.
Speaker 3: I can't do it again. I don't want to force it.
Speaker 4: Oh okay, yeah, really that was your opportunity. Fine, we're
Speaker 4: still do you need one?
Speaker 3: Yeah, we can't be Howard Sterne. If I can't burp
Speaker 3: twice in a row, that's.
Speaker 4: That's the key of good broadcast. That I have nothing
Speaker 4: to plug.
Speaker 3: Uh, I don't think I have anything to plug either.
Speaker 4: I have shows. By the time this arison'll be done.
Speaker 3: What are we gonna put this up next week?
Speaker 4: Sure?
Speaker 3: While you're gone?
Speaker 4: Sure?
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's good.
Speaker 4: I like that.
Speaker 3: I guess what would I plug? I guess I'm gonna
Speaker 3: plug positivity.
Speaker 4: I like it.
Speaker 3: Okay, I like it. I'm gonna try it, I guess,
Speaker 3: And I'm.
Speaker 4: Gonna plug productivity. WHOA positivity and productivity? In twenty seventeen.
Speaker 3: They meet together in two hands, shaking each other in
Speaker 3: a rainbow of success.
Speaker 4: I'd like, we already have a logo.
Speaker 3: Ding ding ding. If you're an artist and you not
Speaker 3: you Chris, but because you're busy. But if you're an
Speaker 3: artist and you hear those words and you see a vision,
Speaker 3: let's see it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, positivity and productivity twenty seventeen.
Speaker 3: Dang.
Speaker 4: Do you'd like how I'm writing off the rest of this?
Speaker 4: Goddamn you?
Speaker 3: It's August.
Speaker 4: Bring it on, Bring it on. Twenty seventeen. Twenty sixteen, suck. No,
Speaker 4: it was good good year for me.
Speaker 3: It was pretty good. I mean, you know what I
Speaker 3: realized in twenty sixteen. Things can be terribly bad, but
Speaker 3: they're still never as bad as I think they are.
Speaker 4: Yeah, what it's No, it's always worse around the corner.
Speaker 4: What you're saying?
Speaker 1: No that I A, I have a I'm a catastrophic thing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, me too.
Speaker 3: So one thing goes bad and it's just like, well,
Speaker 3: I'm going to get arrested. That's what I think about everything.
Speaker 4: Oh, you're just hungry, you've been listening. Do you need
Speaker 4: a ride? D y n A?
Speaker 3: Are are you leaving?
Speaker 2: I you wanna way back home? Either way, we want
Speaker 2: to be there. Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim
Speaker 2: and give us time and a turning on and gage.
Speaker 3: We want to send you off in soil.
Speaker 4: We want to welcome you back home.
Speaker 2: Tell us all about it.
Speaker 3: We scared her?
Speaker 4: Was it fine.
Speaker 5: Now?
Speaker 3: Porn? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride? Do you need.
Speaker 5: With Karen and chriss
Speaker 4: Mh